Help & Hope

Marissa Bondurant joins Sharon Betters to share how her caregiving journey started when her family received a devastating diagnosis for her four-year-old daughter. Not only does she have comfort to offer caregivers, but her story through the land of childhood cancer will also encourage us. Marissa takes listeners deep into her journey of caring for not just one child but two children diagnosed with cancer. Her passion for helping other caregivers care for themselves shows up in her book, Who Cares for You? Whether you are a caregiver, love someone who is, or perhaps have a child battling cancer, this conversation is for you. Take Marissa with you on a walk, on your way to work, or running your carpool. Listen and share.

Lou Priolo says we are experiencing an epidemic of loneliness. In this conversation with Sharon Betters and Chuck L. Betters, Lou defines loneliness and encourages us to realize loneliness is painful but it can also bring blessings. He shares stories about people in the Bible who experience deep loneliness and points out that many of the Psalmists expressed their own loneliness. Knowing others have walked the path of loneliness before us helps us realize we are not alone and there is help. The loneliness that is not addressed can lead to other emotions taking up residence in our hearts, such as disappointment in our friends, anger, fear, and paranoia. Unless we deal with the root cause of loneliness, we are destined to view all relationships through the grid of those emotions. Listen and share!

When unexpected moments change life's trajectory, we're left with a choice: Do we overcome the unexpected, as the world recommends, or undergo it? In this conversation with Sharon Betters and Chuck L. Betters, Author Jillian Benfield says experiencing an unexpected season begins a transformation that deconstructs our old self and reconstructs us into who God intends us to become. Jillian shares the story of how her son Anderson's Down Syndrome and congenital heart defect diagnoses faced her with hard questions about her definition of success, her value, her son's value, and her view of God. She encourages listeners not to gloss over the hard parts of the human condition. Instead, she says, undergoing the unexpected gives us the opportunity to let go of our old selves, tearing down false beliefs about our identities, humanity, and God. In a culture where the prosperity gospel (control) and the American dream (achievement) are glorified, Jillian says God uses the unexpected to disorient us from the ideals of Western society. His surprising gift equips believers to relate to the world's pain and recognize how our worth and purpose rest in Him. We need this message! Listen and Share! Jillianbenefield.com

What is a grandmother's role in the lives of her grandchildren? How can she pass on a legacy of faith? What if she is estranged from her grandchildren, or they don't seem to be interested in having a relationship with her? What are some practical ways a grandmother can intentionally pursue a friendship with her grands and what if they don't respond to her efforts? What about those envious feelings when a grandmother sees all the beautiful social media posts of the perfect grandmother interacting with her grandchildren? How about guilt over not investing in her grandchildren? Is there a way to influence our grands without any interaction with them? In this conversation with Sharon Betters, Kathy March, and Pam Ferriss respond to these questions and much more. Do you love your grandchildren? This conversation will help equip you to pray intentionally. What a gift for your grandchildren to say, “My Grandmother is Praying for Me.”

You start your day thinking it will be like any other. And then a text with four words, “Eva not breathing. Pray.” Within hours, the unexpected death of your daughter propels you and your family down into the deepest sorrow you have ever experienced. In this conversation with Sharon Betters, Mel Lawrenz introduces us to his beloved daughter Eva and how her unexpected death led his family into the Land of Grief. In this conversation, Mel talks about giving freedom to people to grieve their way, how lament is a gift, and how his theology gave him the freedom to grieve honestly as he clung to the Lord. Mel and Sharon belong to that club no one wants to join – where admission requires the loss of a child. There are treasures in the conversation for anyone in grief and for those who love them.

“A silver wave is coming,” says author and speaker Elizabeth Turnage. Baby boomers are facing the hardest challenge of their lives – how to die well. In this conversation with Sharon Betters, Elizabeth challenges listeners to take steps now to make it easier for loved ones after you die. Elizabeth shares how her dad died without any intentional preparation of affairs or instructions for his children. She compares his response to death, to her mother's and how she prepared a folder of important papers and instructions with a list of 5 steps to immediately take upon her death. Elizabeth describes how her mother's intentional preparation was such a gift to her as she grieved her mother's sudden death. Elizabeth acknowledges the grief we experience as we begin this process. She encourages us to imagine the relief of our children, who, in the middle of their own grief, know how to honor us in our death. She admits there is grief when we are preparing others for when we are not here, practical ideas for sorting through precious belongings, how to distribute them when our children are not interested, and giving the gift of “all expenses paid” funeral plans. Along with, how to deal with the distribution of your estate when you are reluctant to give to a child who does not share your values. Elizabeth is so passionate about helping us intentionally prepare for this last step of life, that she offers a course called Organizing Your Life and Legacy.

Lauren Whitman, the author of A Painful Past – Healing and Moving Forward, answers this question and much more. For instance, why would anyone want to dig up their past? Isn't it better to “let sleeping dogs lie”? Can we forgive and forget? How does our view of God influence our journey toward healing? How do you know when to ask a counselor for help? And how does having a counselor make the journey a little clearer? If you or someone you know is struggling with a painful past, please listen and then share the good news – there is hope and a way to move forward.

Darci and Mark Steiner's lives turned inside out and upside down when Darci nearly lost her life after a debilitating fall down the stairs in her home. She was later diagnosed with Complex Regional Pain Syndrome and spent six years bedridden with such horrific pain she could not tolerate even a sheet touching her body. Her husband, Mark, immediately took on the role of caregiver for Darci and all the extra responsibilities of raising their two little girls. In this conversation with Sharons Better, Darci, and Mark freely answer questions about their struggle to find a “new normal” when Darci was incapable of caring for their girls or their home. Mark brings the unique perspective of a full-time caregiver and how Mark sometimes struggles with meeting all the needs of their children and his wife. They both share the spiritual challenges of understanding the sovereignty of God over what seem like set backs and unfair loss and how the Lord has met them in their most broken moments. They share their story in Darci's book, Beauty Beyond the Thorns: Discovering Gifts in Suffering. Darci and Mark have both served in ministry, Darci as a teen and women's ministry leader, as well as assisting with church plants in Denver and Los Angeles. Mark has served in full-time ministry in San Francisco and Thailand. In the late 80s, Mark helped Cambodian refugees from the Khmer Rouge “killing fields" and the fighting between Cambodian guerillas and the Vietnamese army on the border of Cambodia and Thailand. He is an entrepreneur, along with caring for Darci. Connect with Darci on her website.

How are you feeling today? Stressed, overwhelmed, drowning in too much to do, anxiety, the rubble of broken relationships – just life? Are these feelings seasonal or do you struggle with persistent gnawing anxiety? Sometimes, something happens that feels like the straw that breaks the camel's back and we cry out, “I didn't sign up for this!” Ann Swindell, author of The Path to Peace, Comfort When You're Feeling Overwhelmed gets it! After repeated disappointments and hurts, one day Ann declared, “I didn't sign up for this!” But that moment of hitting bottom was the beginning of seeking unshakable peace. In this conversation with Sharon Betters, Ann will be sharing some of what she learned about genuine peace, not only through her own journey but the lives of men and women in scripture. You will be mentored and encouraged in your own search for the pathway to peace.

No matter your season of life, wherever God has placed you is your platform for glorifying Him. But sometimes, it's really, really hard to see the rutted, muddy pathways of life as an opportunity to reflect Jesus, isn't it? If you are in such a place, this special edition of the Help & Hope podcast is for you. Over the summer we held Beyond the Book, Ask the Author as a free virtual live event where guests could submit questions to our guest author. Vaneetha Risner, one of our guest authors, spent an hour with us, answering questions about her book, Walking Through Fire, A Memoir of Loss and Redemption. I know few people who have suffered as much as Vaneetha has. the loss of her son due to a doctor's error, childhood polio and years of bullying, multiple hospitalizations, her husband's unfaithfulness and an unwanted divorce, losing 4 babies through miscarriage - AND YET - Vaneetha's life and message offers us a purpose and peace, even when all seems lost. Vaneetha is a seasoned life warrior whose heart is to come alongside other weary women who long for hope in the darkest places of life.

“I forgive you.” Simple words, and liberating ones – but hard, too. You may think the betrayal you have experienced is in the realm of the unforgivable. Wendy Alsup understands. She experienced severe church conflict while serving in the women's ministry at Mars Hill Church, followed by an unwanted divorce. The losses of betrayal eventually forced her to move from her home in Seattle, leaving behind deep friendships and everything familiar to her two sons. Her understanding of forgiveness did not come easily for her so she does not sugarcoat the struggles she experienced. In this special Help & Hope Podcast, Wendy joins us for our summer Beyond the Book – Ask the Author series. Invited guests submitted questions for Wendy and her answers reveal deep wisdom and understanding for those struggling with the concept of forgiveness. Some of the questions Wendy answers: • How do you get past the astonishment, hurt, and dislike for a person you cared for, had a relationship with, and enjoyed when they have repeatedly turned against you? • How do you "move on" in forgiveness when you still have to interact with people who hurt you? • After you left Mars Hill, lots of your friends stayed. Did you pursue them to tell them your story, your reasons for leaving in an attempt to get them to leave, too? How do you let go of the need to protect your reputation or do you? • When someone asks you to forgive them for an offense, does it mean that you will never bring up the offense again? • Through conflict our church leadership mishandled, a lot of friends and I lost our strong church family – none of us feels as though we will ever find such a loving community again. How do you venture back into church life when you feel so cynical? • How does understanding ambiguous loss help us better understand our own grief over broken relationships, especially when we are powerless to effect any change in the circumstances? • And many more. Listen and please pass on this important conversation.

Some stats state that 50% of married couples in churches have experienced sexual betrayal in their marriage. When a wife learns about her husband's sexual betrayal, in the blink of an eye, a bomb detonates and blows up her marriage. The very foundations on which she built her home shatter, and she can barely breathe, let alone find her way out from under the rubble. Ellen Dykas has walked with hundreds, maybe even thousands of women as they have struggled with sexual betrayal and offers hope from years of helping these hurting women. In this conversation with co-hosts, Sharon Betters and Jane Anne Wilson, Ellen's tender heart and passion flow freely for offering hope to women whose husbands have betrayed the. She encourages listeners to know they are not responsible for their husband's sin, and that they do not need to carry shame. She is particularly concerned that they understand the need for self-care. This topic is too deep for a half-hour conversation so we hope, whether you are fresh in facing sexual betrayal or have secretly carried this devastation for years you will get Ellen's FREE books: Jesus and Your Unwanted Journey: Wives Finding Comfort After Sexual Betrayal. One is a participant's guide and the other is a Leader's Guide. These resources are for women who need help applying the gospel to their marriage in response to their husband's sexual sin. But they are also for those who love them and want to help. You may never have experienced sexual betrayal in your marriage. This conversation will equip you to walk with a friend who has. These books are resources for you and your friend. Jesus and Your Unwanted Journey – Wives Finding Comfort After Sexual Betrayal Participant's Guide: https://harvest-usa.myshopify.com/collections/curriculum/products/jesus-and-your-unwanted-journey-wives-finding-comfort-after-sexual-betrayal-participants-guide-free-digital-download Leader's Guide: https://harvest-usa.myshopify.com/products/jesus-and-your-unwanted-journey-wives-finding-comfor-after-sexual-betrayal-leaders-guide-free-digital-download

There is so much we do not know about mental illness, including deep depression that results in the inability to even get out of bed, let alone function in daily life. Many more people than we realize struggle every day to do the next thing with their will because of sadness, a lack of joy, and purpose reigning in their hearts. They have tried everything to get better but nothing helps. Add to this equation the spouse who watches her husband slide into a pit of despair with no explanation. Sadly, Christians often identify a lack of faith or discipline as the root problem. Even the patient suffers from shame and guilt when the root cause is actually a physical and chemical disconnect in the body. In this frank conversation, Jenni Holder describes how her faith-filled husband suddenly experienced repeated panic attacks that were the first signs he had a mental illness that could not be healed with more faith. Jenni and her husband have agreed that they need to share their story as they are experiencing it so that others on similar pathways will know they are not alone and there is hope. With her husband's permission, Jenni takes us into the inner sanctum of their marriage and their ongoing battle to find a steady path for their family.

Rachel, founder of the Brave Mamas online community, validates bereaved parents in their pain, encourages them as they adjust to their new normal, and provides advice for sharing your loss with family, caring for your spouse, and recovering a postpartum body. She is a mother who lost 5 children, yet is filled with hope.

We seldom hear this question let alone even think about the need if we have never experienced a miscarriage. Eric Schumacher, author of Ours: Biblical Comfort for Men Grieving Miscarriage talks to Sharon Betters about the grief a dad feels when his wife has a miscarriage. He addresses questions like, how does a dad help his wife, what about feeling the miscarriage is because of personal sin, and how to confront the fear of the possibility of another miscarriage. Eric and his wife experienced five miscarriages so he brings a depth of understanding and empathy for men who are surprised by their own sorrow. This conversation will offer biblical comfort and practical support to men processing a miscarriage.

Dr. Mikala Albertson aimed to be exemplary in all she did – marriage, motherhood, her career – but her seemingly picture-perfect life began crumbling when she realized her doctor husband was addicted to drugs and nothing was perfect after all. Listen in as Mikala shares her story of striving and suffering in the hunt for perfection and found that embracing her gritty, messy, complicated, tough ordinary life led her on a journey of healing, redemption, and renewal. In this conversation with Sharon Betters, Mikala encourages listeners that disappointments and broken places are opportunities to find beauty in the rubble.

A Conversation with Esther Smith Summary Most of us can admit to seasons of struggling with unwanted thoughts, perhaps rooted in fear of the unknown, a broken relationship, a horrible past of abuse. For some people, unwanted thoughts are a nagging discomfort. Others experience them as a brutal and invisible form of torture. Thoughts spiraling out of control can lead to sleepless nights, uncomfortable relationships and wasted emotional energy. Are you distracted by racing or anxious thoughts? Distressed by intrusive or irrational thoughts? Struggling with sinful or untrue thoughts? You may feel trapped in your own head, but in this conversation between Esther Smith and Sharon Betters, you're going to realize God has given you many different ways to calm your mind and live at peace. Esther is a licensed counselor who specializes in helping people who experience trauma, anxiety and physical illness. She has also authored a devotional on Chronic Illness and is coauthor of The Whole Life. Listen as Esther introduces us to some of the twelve strategies for changing unwanted thoughts she unpacks in her book, A Still and Quiet Mind.

Pornography – do you know someone who is struggling with this particular sin? Unfortunately, it's likely that you do, but you may not know how to help. In these two conversations host Dr. Chuck Betters, along with Rebekah Hannah (Director of Anchored Hope.co, an online biblical counseling service), talk with counselors Deepak Reju and Jonathan Holmes who provide biblical strategies for guiding a fellow believer toward recovery. This worldwide pornography crisis is destroying families, marriages and individuals. But what happens when it comes into your own home or the heart of someone you love? Deepak Reju and Jonathan Holmes have co-authored two books on pornography: Rescue Plan and Rescue Skills. They are both biblical counselors and draw on their own research and experience as biblical counselors to offer concrete information and guidance on how to help pornography users in diverse circumstances to overcome addiction. Be sure to listen to both, Part 1 & Part 2.

Pornography – do you know someone who is struggling with this particular sin? Unfortunately, it's likely that you do, but you may not know how to help. In these two conversations host Dr. Chuck Betters, along with Rebekah Hannah (Director of Anchored Hope.co, an online biblical counseling service), talk with counselors Deepak Reju and Jonathan Holmes who provide biblical strategies for guiding a fellow believer toward recovery. This worldwide pornography crisis is destroying families, marriages and individuals. But what happens when it comes into your own home or the heart of someone you love? Deepak Reju and Jonathan Holmes have co-authored two books on pornography: Rescue Plan and Rescue Skills. They are both biblical counselors and draw on their own research and experience as biblical counselors to offer concrete information and guidance on how to help pornography users in diverse circumstances to overcome addiction. Be sure to listen to both, Part 1 & Part 2.

Are you tired of all the parenting books full of strategic checklists, how-to advice and quick tips? While some of the books are actually really helpful, Christina Fox, Sharon Betters and young mom Melissa Weisenfels talk through what it means to parent through the grid of how our heavenly father parents us, His children. They touch on questions like: How can a better understanding of God's character, i.e. His consistency, discipline, patience, provision, unconditional love and even boundaries give us a roadmap for helping our children navigate the comparison trap, rebellion against boundaries, and more. But they also talk about their own feelings of failure and how to live with a broken heart when children reject their faith. Christina encourages us that as God's beloved creatures, we bear His image—that is, we show others who He is as we glorify Him. Is anything more important to pass on to our children than this?

A child suffers multiple forms of abuse from her father from the time of being a little girl to a young woman. Is there any hope for not just surviving but thriving? Jennifer Greenberg proclaims there is. Jennifer knows the isolation and grief of abuse at the hands of her church-going father. In this conversation with Sharon Betters, Jenn doesn't flinch in talking through how she wanted to kill herself when she was 15 because her father's abuse intensified during her adolescence. She takes us along on her journey toward healing and purpose, addressing such questions as… Why doesn't an abuse victim speak up sooner? What are the residual issues of abuse into adulthood? What about forgiveness? Not only is Jenn a wife, mother, and composer, she authored Not Forsaken, A Life After Abuse and offers other abuse victims help through many resources on her https://jennifergreenberg.net

What do you do when you are suddenly navigating a life you didn't sign up for? Lisa Appelo understands deeply. She's experienced the raw emotions and uncertainty that come when everything falls apart. Lisa went to bed married and woke up a widow and single mom to seven children. She wrestled with impossible questions about her future–and then found life-changing answers that gave her the strength to move forward with true joy. In this conversation with Sharon Betters, Lisa explains how she found hope in gratitude and practical ways to fight fear. Lisa encourages us to understand wherever you are in life is not God's Plan B but Chapter 2 where He will reshape your shattered heart – you will not only survive but can learn to thrive as you learn how to trust Him more each day.

What if your kind, gentle adult son started exhibiting bizarre behavior, so bizarre his wife got a restraining order and he ended up in prison? Our guest in this conversation, Robin, knows this terror as she lost her son little by little to an undiagnosed disease – Early Onset Dementia. Robin's son, Justin, gradually changed from a kind, engaged husband, father and son into a man his family didn't recognize. He lost his family and was imprisoned before doctors finally diagnosed him with frontotemporal dementia or young onset dementia. This is a heart-breaking story, but Robin offers light in the darkness.

How do you face each day after a diagnosis of ALS or Lou Gherig's disease, knowing you will not survive longer than eighteen months – two years? Pastor Dale Meader joins Sharon and Chuck Betters to answer this question and more as he describes how each day reminds him he cannot beat this disease. He knows his time on this earth is short. But, for Dale, this disease has renewed his confidence in heaven and God's perfect love. In this conversation, Dale gives us a glimpse into how he is not only preparing himself but also his family for his absence and much more. Dale's natural joyful perspective on life comes through but he wants all of us to know his perspective does not minimize the deep grief and fear ALS patients experience. His desire in sharing his story is for others to experience the same help and hope of Jesus he experiences every day. We are so grateful for Dale's willingness to offer help and hope not only to the one diagnosed with ALS but also to those who love them.

In this conversation and in their book, Making Room for Her, Barbara and Stacy Reaoch jump headfirst into a topic sure to generate much discussion and maybe even confrontation: Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationships. Mother-in-law jokes are easy to find and most expect daughters-in-law to roll their eyes when their mothers-in-law are mentioned. Barbara and Stacy's perspective on how two women who love the same man can not only get along but cultivate a deep, loving friendship goes against our culture's view of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationships. In this Help & Hope conversation with Sharon Betters, they encourage listeners, especially those in challenging in-law relationships to refuse to give up on pursuing godly responses to broken places. Friends, listen and realize, there is hope even in the midst of messy feelings and past hurts.

Is singleness a gift or a curse? If you're single because you never married, divorced, or widowed - are you just in a waiting room, marking time until you meet the right person, or is singleness a place filled with opportunities you would not have if married? Is it wrong to pray for a spouse? How do you respond when well-meaning friends say hurtful things like, “I don't understand why some guy hasn't snatched up you – you're so nice.” Sharon Betters and Jenilyn Swett, Director of Adult Ministries at Restoration Community Church (PCA) in St. Louis and author of Singleness, Living Faithfully, talk about the answers to these questions and much more in this Help & Hope podcast.

About one million babies world-wide die each year within 24 hours of birth. would be one of those children? In this conversation, Sharon Betters talks to Diane Bansbach about what it was like for her to learn her much wanted baby girl, Amy, might not survive birth, let alone live outside her mother's womb. Diane and Sharon share a few tears as Diane steps back into that season of loss and grief and tells Amy's story in a way that offers hope and counsel to those facing a similar tragedy.

Many people have experienced betrayal, someone violating your trust perhaps by lying, cheating, some kind of abuse, putting their own interests ahead of yours when they promised otherwise. Betrayal affects every part of our hearts, often in ways we don't understand at first. Some hurts we carry with us to the day we die, they are so deep and seem impossible to resolve. In this conversation with Sharon Betters, Wendy Alsup shares the impact of betrayal from her own life, not only through an unwanted divorce but also in her church life. But Wendy doesn't leave us in the much of betrayal. Instead she speaks frankly about the power of forgiveness. Wendy's view of forgiveness is not stereotypical. Pulling examples from her own life, Wendy talks about the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation and how understanding ambiguous loss can help us as we grieve the losses of betrayal. Whether you are still gasping for air as the impact of betrayal hits you hard or you are carrying the wounds of broken relationships from years ago, this conversation will help guide you trough the minefields of grief and loss.

Stephanie Hubach is no stranger to the challenges of raising a child with special needs. As a researcher in disability ministry and the mother of a son with Down Syndrome. Stephanie has spoken to thousands of parents about the struggles and the blessings of children who might be seen by our culture as dispensable, but in God's world, they are indispensable and we lose many gifts and blessings when we do not recognize that what appears weak to us is actually, the strong. Steph's passion for families raising children with disabilities moved her to write, Parenting and Disabilities – Abiding in God's Presence as a daily devotional designed to turn hearts toward Jesus. In this conversation, Sharon Betters and Steph speak as two friends, as they talk about the fact that a child with disabilities might be different but is not “less than”. Sharon and Steph discuss how hurtful comments from others might be a reflection of their own hearts and the need for each of us to learn more about the lives of those parenting children with disabilities. Listen in as Steph challenges us to consider how we respond when around a child with disabilities. Do we recognize them as deserving of the same love and care as a child without disabilities? Does your church enfold such families into the body of Christ? Steph shares how a biblical worldview of disabilities, that is, God's view, will transform your heart.

Studies show that the loss of a spouse, whether through divorce or death is one of the most devastating losses a human can experience. Our podcast guest, Deb McQuilkin, knows the unspeakable grief of the loss of a husband through an unwanted divorce and the sorrow of losing a beloved husband through death. Perhaps these losses are why Deb feels such a kinship with Naomi whose story we find in the Bible in the book of Ruth. In this conversation with Sharon Betters, Deb invites us to consider our own shattered dreams, difficult relationships, and practical needs and learn through Naomi's responses to loss.

Part 2 - On June 17, 2015, Dylann Roof, a young white man, attended the Wednesday evening Bible study at the predominantly black Emanuel AME Church in Charleston, South Carolina. An hour later, Roof pulled a concealed weapon and killed nine African-Americans as they prayed, including Myra Thompson, the wife of Reverend Anthony Thompson. Myra's murder devastated Anthony, yet he chose to privately and publicly forgive the shooter. Many in the church and community still struggle to understand Reverend Thompson's deliberate choice to forgive the racist murderer. But as Charlestonians witnessed this incredible act of forgiveness, something significant happened within the community. Instead of the expected racial riots in the aftermath of the shooting, black and white leaders and residents united, coming together peaceably and even showing acts of selfless love. In this candid conversation, Anthony Thompson candidly shares the details of that awful night, the the grief he experienced, and the radical choice to forgive the killer. But beyond that, Reverend Thompson shares a compelling vision of the power of forgiveness to transform our lives--personally, in our communities, and even in our nation. Be inspired by this remarkable story and discover how the difficult decision to forgive can become the key to radical change.

Many in the church and community still struggle to understand Reverend Thompson's deliberate choice to forgive the racist murderer. But as Charlestonians witnessed this incredible act of forgiveness, something significant happened within the community. Instead of the expected racial riots in the aftermath of the shooting, black and white leaders and residents united, coming together peaceably and even showing acts of selfless love.

Julie Sanford is a Recovery Mentor for wives of alcoholics. She is a wife and mom of three who found herself in a situation she never wanted to be in as the wife of an alcoholic. After several years of living in chaos, feeling alone, and unseen, she is now using her journey to help other wives of alcoholics navigate their husband's addiction. She came to realize that it was not only her husband that needed recovery, but she also needed support. In this conversation with Sharon Betters, Julie shares not only her story but hope and encouragement for those in a similar, broken place. Julie offers programs and coaching that equips women with the tools and strength needed to navigate their husband's addiction without losing themselves in the process (marriedtoaddiction.com).

Stephanie Broersma lived a charmed life until the day she discovered a deleted online conversation between her husband and another woman. When confronted, he confessed to a ten-year addiction to pornography and multiple affairs. In this conversation with Sharon Betters Stephanie shares the story of moving through anger, betrayal, fear, and finally redemption. Her remarkable story brings hope to one of the darkest places in a marriage. Stephanie helps those whose lives have been turned upside down to take a raw and honest look at the emotions, decisions and difficulties women face in marital betrayal. She wants other women to know they are not alone and you can find healing from the shame, anger, and brokenness that overwhelms you. Take a walk with Stephanie and Sharon and listen in on their transparent and hope-filled conversation.

In this candid and fun interview, Jani Ortlund and Sharon Betters talk about what it's like to be married to their pastor. Jani and Sharon have been married to their pastors for over fifty years – that's 100 years of experience between them! Using Jani's book, Help! I'm Married to My Pastor as a springboard, they cover such topics as how to help pastor husbands deal with depression, create a home where the “PKs” feel safe and unaffected by congregational expectations, cultivate romance in their marriages, deal with gossip and prioritizing personal intimacy with Jesus. Pastor's wives – whether young or old, will benefit from this candid conversation.

The words, “You have a mental illness” bring fear, uncertainty, sometimes shame, loneliness, and even hopelessness. Christine Chappell heard those words as a young woman. They helped her understand many of her struggles with depression and self-harming behavior but also took her into a foreign land where she had no road map. Christine talks to Sharon Betters about how her journey began as a young adult until she knew if she didn't get help, she might take her own life. While her diagnosis helped make sense of her disturbing emotions, it also confronted her with numerous decisions about treatment and how this diagnosis impacted her identity. Christine shares her story and gives practical ways she learned to navigate this hard place and even found healing. One key for her was to understand her diagnosis did not define her so she talks about the importance of understanding our identity in Christ. This conversation is filled with “salty peanuts”, that is, we are hoping you hear just enough to make you want to know more. In this message, Christine develops the truth of bettering understanding how our perspective on our identity is a freeing part of living with depression or mental illness.

“Who am I? What is my purpose? I thought I could have it all and I do. But I am restless, I feel like I'm missing something.” Statistics show many American woman are weary, struggle with depression and self-medicate with alcohol, flattery, Suicide rates for women are on the rise. What's happening? More importantly, what's the resolution? In this conversation Jen Oshman, author of Enough about Me and Help & Hope host Sharon Betters talk about the problem, the diagnosis and the treatment for this low-grade anxiety that often disrupts our thinking, whether in joyful or sorrowful seasons. In her book, Jen says, “We 21st century women have been running on ourselves, rather than on our God. We've been running on self-help, self-empowerment, and self-actualization. The fuel of self has run out, and that's why we're tired and discouraged and even in crisis. Enough about me. And enough about you. If we want to keep running, we need to run on the fuel we're made for - God himself. We will indeed be restless until then.” (Enough About Me, Jen Oshman, Page 48) Friends, join Jen and Sharon as they talk frankly about the reasons for the restlessness and dissatisfaction in a culture that demands we “do it all” and how do we find our way back to God's purpose for each of us.

When a son, sister, or grandchild begins to behave in unexpected and disturbing ways, family members hope it is simply a phase. For some, it is instead a life-time illness – schizophrenia. The diagnosis of schizophrenia can bring shock, fear, and worry to everyone involved. But in the midst of the numerous challenges, hope doesn't have to die. (Broken Pieces and the God Who Mends Them by Simonetta Carr) In this conversation with Sharon Betters, Simonetta Carr shares the story of her beloved son, Jonathan, and her experience of caring for him as he struggled with schizophrenia. Simonetta doesn't sugarcoat the enormous challenges and emotions that were non-stop. She talks about how she fervently prayed for Jonathan, the fears she had to confront, and how the church came alongside Jonathan and her in this battle. You may not have a loved one with schizophrenia but Simonetta and Jonathan's story will give you insight into the enormous battle facing families with such a diagnosis. You can learn more about schizophrenia and find numerous helpful resources in Simonetta's book, Broken Pieces and the God Who Mends Them, Schizophrenia Through a Mother's Eyes.

1 in 8 couples have trouble getting pregnant. That's about 6.7 million people each year who have trouble conceiving. 10—15% of women who know they are pregnant will experience a miscarriage. Some studies say it's higher. About 1 pregnancy in 100 at 20 weeks of pregnancy and later is affected by stillbirth, and each year about 24,000 babies are stillborn in the United States.1 This doesn't take into account the number of babies diagnosed in the womb with a terminal condition – meaning if they survive their birth, they will not live very long. Kathe Wunnenberg knows the sorrow such losses. In this transparent conversation with Sharon Betters Kathe shares her own journey of grieving infertility, miscarriages and the loss of her son. Her deep sorrow taught Kathe that God can transform anything you offer Him into hope to help others. Kathe Wunnenberg is a hopelifter. Her motto reflects the purpose of her own life: “We go through what we go through, to help others go through what we went through,” Kathe's passion for offering others the help and hope of Jesus and to equip us to be the hands and feet of Jesus shines in this conversation where she offers suggestions for lifting the spirits of a hurting friend, telling us the daily opportunities to make a difference in hurting lives are limitless for a Hopelifter.

In Part 2 of this Help & Hope podcast Nick Thompson, co-author with Joel R. Beeke of Pastors and Their Critics continues his conversation with Chuck Betters about the difference between betrayal and criticism and how to handle criticism from church members. Part 2 focuses on how to create a church climate where it is safe to share concerns with your pastor and elders along with the reality that sometimes no amount of reconciliation efforts will reap sweet fruit. Thinking through these themes will help equip young pastors as they begin to realize criticism comes with the territory of shepherding and encourage older pastors to think through the climate of their church and whether they need a course correction.

In Part 1 of this conversation Nick Thompson, co-author with Joel R. Beeke of Pastors and Their Critics talks with Chuck Betters about the difference between betrayal and criticism and how to handle criticism from church members. Pastors quickly learn that criticism comes with the territory of shepherding. This conversation took place in the middle of the 2020 pandemic and pastors are weary from the constant criticism they are getting in response to their handling of the pandemic. Rather than resolve their differences, critics choose to leave without any attempt to preserve the relationship. Most pastors give their lives to their congregation, but over time they realize that sometimes what they thought were great friendships, don't stand up in the middle of disagreements. How does a pastor handle such hurt without making the situation worse? What are realistic expectations for conflict resolution? Pastor, are you hurting? This conversation will help guide you through the minefield of criticism.

For too long women, rather than feel safe, women often feel shame in their local churches, so much so that they will not ask the leadership for help. The idea of speaking about her personal needs and hurts to any man, let alone being in a room alone with a group of men fills her with fear. This conversation with Ann Maree Goudzwaard, Sharon Betters and Jane Anne Wilson fills us with great hope as we learn about a Shepherdess ministry designed to not only create a safe place for women in crisis but also act as a preventative balm. This ministry is a picture of the spiritual mothering described in Titus 2. Older women are trained to come alongside a hurting woman, learning how to speak “woman” to the pastoral leadership when the hurting woman cannot speak for herself. Ann Maree describes the responsibilities of a Shepherdess and how this ministry changes the atmosphere of a local church as women – and their friends – discover the church is a safe place. And the bonus – older women realize they have much to share from their own life journeys and Scripture. This conversation acts as salty peanuts – we hope you want more! To satisfy your craving for more information, check out the following links. Not only is the book packed with practical information on how to start this ministry but there are also training videos.

In this conversation two seasoned pastors, Chuck Betters and Bernie Lawrence talk about how the local church is not only called to be a safe place for hurting women but how to make it so. Bernie is co-author with Ann Maree Goudzwaard of HelpHer – A Churchwide Response for Women in Crisis. Chuck and Bernie discuss how many churches are ill-prepared to come alongside of women in crisis but how the scriptures outline the way to meet these needs. Bernie speaks from the experience of helping oversee such a ministry in his local church. He shares how the leadership recognized the need to make the church a safe place for women and then enlisted women to help develop a strategy for meeting this dire need. In their book, Bernie and Ann Maree not only tell the story of how the Shepherdess ministry developed but also include numerous practical instructions for how to develop a similar ministry in your local church. This ministry will revolutionize a local church and no doubt as it grows women will spread the news that their church is ready and willing to not only help women in crisis but be there as a pro-active and preventative balm

Barbara Juliani and Jane Anne Wilson join Sharon Betters to talk about those feelings every mother experiences at one time or another. This conversation follows an interview with Barbara about prodigal children. Barbara and her father Jack Miller co-authored Come Back, Barbara, a raw and transparent story of Barbara's rebellion against her parents and their faith and her journey “back home”. Whenever a child rebels or disappoints parents, mothers often feel ashamed and as though their child's behavior is a reflection on their parenting skills. “Was I too soft, too hard, spanked when I shouldn't have, neglected a specific need in my child?” Where do moms go with these feelings? If you are that mother, this conversation will encourage you as you realize you are not alone and there is a way toward freedom.

Do these words haunt you: "Mom, Dad, I don't want your rules and morals. I don't want to act like a Christian anymore! And I'm not going to," Barbara Juliani (then Barbara Miller) made this declaration at the age 18. As her father desperately attempted to reason with her, Barbara grew more resentful, choosing a path of immorality that only deepened her parents' pain. Such a declaration from a child, no matter their age, creates havoc and soul-searching in the hearts of their parents, who often ask, “What did I do wrong?” In this conversation with Sharon Betters and Jane Anne Wilson Barbara Juliani shares her story and addresses some of the ways parents take on the guilt of their children and responsibility for their decisions. You might be surprised by some of her conclusions. Her dad, Jack Miller wrote: "I am not ignorant of human depravity," writes C. John Miller, "but I had long denied that it could exist in our family." That reality, however, forced him to confront his own sin, seek forgiveness, admit his inability to change his wayward daughter, and begin loving Barbara on God's terms. In their book, Come Back, Barbara, "Jack" Miller and Barbara Miller Juliani chronicle their journey from grief and conflict to joyful reconciliation. Come Back, Barbara is thus an irresistible portrayal of God's grace to the Millers and us all. Our conversation with Barbara reminds broken-hearted parents about the freedom of experiencing such grace in the midst of their child's rebellion.

Mention church conflict in a group of pastors and ministry leaders. One by one they will nod knowingly and share war stories of betrayal, conflict and relationship damage. We hear about pastors taking their own lives and the many who are leaving the ministry, tired of the in-fighting, unfair criticisms and unbiblical treatment of not only them but their families. The Covid pandemic created even more stress for pastors as a key strengthening and essential piece of the church – community – shut down. Many had to learn how to use technology and work even harder to stay connected to the congregation. Then politics entered the scene and former good friends demanded the pastor take positions he could not. Pastors are weary and not sure what the future holds. George Grant and Chuck Betters, seasoned pastors and ministry leaders talk frankly about the intense pressures pastors and ministry leaders experience and offer insights on how to navigate these turbulent times. Pastors, this is for you.

This conversation is for pastor’s and ministry wives and those who love them. While there are occupational hazards in all lines of work, ministry families experience conflicts that sometimes not only result in broken relationships but loss of their beloved church family. In most jobs, wives are not expected to be an unpaid laborer, stand by their husband’s side every Sunday, remembering every name and something about the families, teach a class, play the piano, or host multiple gatherings for every age. What she considers deep friendships root and grow. Her children see the church as their second home. Imagine the trauma when conflict reveals that many view her only as a commodity, useful as long as her husband pleases the congregation. She learns that those for whom she has hurt the most are sometimes the ones who will hurt her deeply. In this conversation two seasoned ministry wives, Karen Grant and Sharon Betters talk freely about these challenges and how to respond when trusted friends betray. Ministry wife, you are not alone. This conversation is part of a series for Ministry Families. Download the free Help & Hope app and subscribe to the Help and Hope podcast – be sure to push notifications.

Mention “fear of the Lord” and most people don’t know what it means. Is it terror in God’s presence? Is it fear He is watching and waiting to condemn us or tell us what a good person we are? Or maybe the Lord will demand we give up what is most precious to us to prove we fear Him. Or perhaps fear of the Lord grows when we think He is punishing us for past sins. In this conversation Christina Fox talks to Sharon Betters about how the fear of the Lord frees us from lesser fears and how understanding biblical fear helps us walk by faith when life turns upside down. Christina also shares how the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom in not only the hard places but in the mundane things of life. This conversation touches the tip of the iceberg on the topic of the fear of the Lord so we hope you not only listen to this conversation but get a copy of Christina’s book, A Holy Fear.

Children raised in the same family sometimes grow up with very different responses to life. Such is the story of Julie Malone and her beautiful daughter, Allie. Julie and her husband, Tim loved their lives as parents and Tim’s ministry to teens. But their idyllic life would take a turn into a foreign land of broken places. Julie says, I am very thankful for my childhood as I came to know and love the Lord as my savior at a very young age. I really never knew a day without Jesus in my life. I married Tim, and we had 4 beautiful little girls. We were raising our kids to know Jesus. We were a close family. Life was good. But Tim and I often wondered how and when real suffering would enter our lives. For us, it didn’t come in one huge blow. For us it came in pieces. A little ding here, and a little ding there – until the repeated dinging of the chisel brought true hardship that often made me feel weary and worn, and well…broken. And much of this brokenness focused on our journey of parenting our oldest daughter Ally through her teenage years.” You may not have a prodigal child, but no doubt you know someone who does, someone who is fearful for their child but maybe ashamed and embarrassed. Parents of hurting children immediately blame themselves, thinking, surely, we could have done something different. Parents of prodigal children need their friends, family and church family to rally around them and Julie gives us a glimpse into how.

Thousands of families quietly and lovingly care for children with special needs. Though the days are often long and hard, many find joy in their calling and would not trade their calling for anything. Kara Dedert and her family reflect this joy in the ordinary and extraordinary moments of caring for their son and brother, Calvin. In her introduction to her blog, Kara writes, “You’ll find me writing about the good, gritty, gracy parts of faith, family and home. I’m married to Darryl and we have five kids. One of our sons has severe disabilities from Zika. It’s broken our hearts and also filled us with hope – I write about that, too.

Discontent easily arises when our desires aren’t met and our plans don’t come true—but this is a dangerous path that drives us away from God. Megan Hiil talks with Sharon Betters about how discontentment can be an insidious, unrecognized poison that robs us of opportunities to experience joy and intimacy with the Lord. Megan explains the meaning of contentment, how we often make discontentment comfortable in our hearts and how it puts a shadow on everything we do. This conversation took place in the middle of the Covid pandemic, where we all experienced many reasons to be discontent but in this interview Megan suggests such seasons of uncertainty are opportunities to intentionally draw strength from contentment. Megan offers practical ideas on how to seek contentment in the ordinary and extraordinary seasons of life.