\"You Talk Loud\" is a weekly podcast hosted by Ben Jarvis, Hunter Kelly, and Claymation Bates. They discuss pop culture, movies, games, TV, and other geek topics. New episodes released every Friday.
Jingle bells, monkeys smell, Conway's not impressed! The guys get together to swap Christmas stories and presents. Really? This is the season finale? Really? We at "You Talk Loud" would like to thank all of you for listening and supporting us over the year. We'll return in 2013 with fresh episodes and tons more bullshit. Merry Christmas and have a swanky new year! Season's greetings The unwrapping of the gifts That monkey's the shit Maintenance! Christmas-related injuries Christmas countdown Merry Christmas and goodnight
It's not a crime to like Will Smith OR be a Juggalo. But both? Madness! This episode was recorded around Thanksgiving. The richest NASCAR fan in poor town Fables of the East side Juggalo on Juggalo crime RIP Twinkie the Kid Shut up and play, Hed PE Fun and games Bond is bi-curious The McRib maneuver Bears and neuralizers Great moments in History Channel history Downgraded to khaki coat
Hope and change! Flip! Flop! The guys get political for a once... and learn to stick to the dick jokes. This episode was recorded after the 2012 elections. "I'm an omnivore now." Ripoff effect Space jumping 4 more years!
It's a small wretched hive of scum and villainy after all! This episode was recorded at the beginning of November. Johnny's face The walrus and the skate ramp Nobody likes Ralph Shotgunning Netflix "The Karate Kid" for guitarists "Tyler Perry's Star Wars" Too many video games! Hobbits need to look less real
The guys gather at Dylan's house to discuss all the big questions. Where's can you get the best kolache? Stretch or Plas? The old Spartacus or the new one? “Tombstone” or “Unforgiven”? It was a night to remember. I want answers and I don't want to swipe Battle of the stretchy guys Print's dead Michael Richards (again) Video stores that we knew and loved (and hated) Fuck cake pops The best little kolache house in Texas Ben and Hunter are Browncoats The Roman strap-on Ben finally saw “Freaks and Geeks” Everything is retro The failed Western revival of the early '90s As good as “Bill and Ted”? Bet on black Bond
Come on down to the Cantina Cabaret! Anakin can sure put on a hell of a show. Admission includes a bantha steak and complimentary Jawa juice. Stick around for the comedy stylings of Salacious Crumb and Bib Fortuna. No droids allowed! Master ninja, huh? We got crabs at Mos Eisley Leave your white guy at the door What does Mos Eisley smell like? Vampire condoms and the salty, old seaman We mecha more It's a deep fried world, after all
Grease up and get ready for a roller coaster ride, brother! American ingenuity Getting drunk at the Chili's bar Crackle & Pop Sitcom geography The Hulkster gets down It's all fun and games Do you shave your bush? Ben gets corny Joss, I take it all back TMNT is back! You can't defend Michael Richards The not-so-great debate Get off my porch!
You no can explain Hulk. Hulk got big problems. Puny humans make Hulk feel confused. Hulk got mortgage. Hulk got 7 year car loan. Hulk got more on plate than Hulk can handle. You no judge Hulk. Only Hulk can judge Hulk. Even the Hulk has his days Where's Stan Lee? The "Ghetto Guys" gave me sandwiches The hidden animal cemetery A sucker for a good peeing-in-the-pants story I might have to wash my cat I know the gay bars Mr. Slippery Dick Wow, Ice-T...wow Thats the most expensive thing I've ever touched
Put on your striped tank top, groom your handlebar mustache, and charge up your iPhone. It's hip to be square. Just give me a Victrola Prince is all puffed up The mustache of gods Stay away from Legs Avenue In a fucked up Star Wars future, down in 1313... Dad... where does my content go when my console dies? Hunter's pitch for a new controller It's like the stupid Subaru truck looking thing iPhones seem like timeshares And that was bullshit too The cook and the architect
It's '90s week! Yes, raise a glass of Crystal Pepsi and chow down on a microwave brownie! Is Ben afraid to watch chick flicks and girly TV shows? As if! So how big did your foot get? Tramadol meltdown Everyone loves Gangnam style (except Hunter and Bates) You should have seen the look on Johnny's face Let me know when the Asian chick is on Arkham City knows how to party The bargain bin '90s The was a Mentos commercial in that movie! You're the best... around! Fuck remakes Killing cats for banjo strings Vacation (all I ever wanted!) In a van down by the river... Goodbye, Vern Links Tramadol PSY - "Gangnam Style" Dr. Christina Yang Mentos... the freshmaker!
Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to get through this thing called life. Electric word life, it means forever and that's a mighty long time, but I'm here to tell you there's something else: You Talk Loud. You want discipline? Drink water! Van Allen, explain yourself Bartender, one mind-eraser "Oh my baybuh!" TV time! Bates knows his hosannas Welcome to Shitty Church, with Reverend Pig-Pen GTFO, Bickett The Biblemaster Oooooooooooh!
WWE and YTL present the greatest show in podcast entertainment! Featuring your TYL superstars: Ben "The Mean Old Man" Jarvis, Hunter "Sandwich Kid" Demyen, and Claymation "Capicola" Bates! Curious wife beatin' George Sheriff Cordell Father & son reunion Meet Simon Birch Cena's biggest fan Heisenberg Wrestling internet super-fan Put your shirts back on The disappointment list Sandwich kid: the return Big travelin' man Fallout 3 zombie DC game time! Fatman thinspiration
Oh yes it's big boy's night, and the pizza's right! Oh yes it's big boy's night, the beer is out of sight! The house that Kpop built Breaking movie rules Let's Schwarzenate this night "Teddy bear!" I'm so excited Ben's cat book I don't think we fit in at Toys "R" Us Cabella's panda execution "Spaceballs" merch wishlist David Spade: ninja warrior I think James Brown is gonna kill me
"America, I like my beats funky. I'm spunky. And yes, ladies and gentlemen, I like my oatmeal lumpy." - President Obama, "The Humpty Speech." The cat's meizzle Martian "Big Brother" I like it RAW Ben don't know diddly about bocce ball My experimental summer Athletic supporters 7 humps Dudical slang Holy cock-munchers Zeke, the hippie You Talk Loud vs. The Big Help
The thrill of victory. The agony of defeat. Go for the comedy gold. My lil' rap cliq; Dont get me started on the space baby; Crack the egg; You don't wanna see Ben when he's angry; Who keeps unplugging my stuff?; They call 'em "figgers"; Just buy the 8 ball
Meet Ben Jetson! Hunter, his pal! His bud Batesy! Get me off this fucking thing! No one likes Anders; Don't drive while ass is poppin'; Raffi Insurance!; The best little whorehouse in Thailand; I'm a travelin' Ben; That's amazing!; Countdown to SmackDown; Comedy is not pretty!; Naysayers gonna naysay
Advance token to Cool Ass LA! If you pass "Uh-oh!", spend $40 for two pregnancy tests. If Ben own's Cool Ass LA, pay twice the rent! You better hope you don't roll doubles... Okay look... I've slept in a bandit's bed; Bates is our landlord; Night terrors... what a fun game; This isn't your mom and dad's Comic-Con; Sci-Fi no one else likes; Sleepover stories
Please take your seats, the show's about to begin. Sorry about the litter box smell. Jubilee's joke The Phoenix Five: as easy as A-B-C Close my 8-bit chapter Early pizza retirement Whistle if you have no filter Ben Rogers' neighborhood "Cats": they will sit on your fucking lap! 2 stupid powerpuff labs Phineas and Ferb are perverts Dont flex your truck nuts Links Cantopop Daken Itsu Mariko Yashida Lady Deathstrike Marvel Pinball Pinball FX Taz-Mania Skyrim Maniac Mansion X-Men Legends Gauntlet Shadow of the Colossus God of War Ico Stupider (apparently it's actually a word) "Jellicle Songs for Jellicle Cats" Boomerang Eddie Deezen (The guy from "War Games") Midnight Madness Phineas and Ferb Eerie, Indiana Twin Peaks Quantum Leap
Let's get the band back together and sing for a worthy cause! Randy Newman needs to be taken down a peg. Jack meets Julia; Three jobless musketeers; The X-Men need a day off; "Shut up! I'm me!"; Randy Newman: short people assassin; So Colossus isn't ultimately gay; Kryptonian yuppies; "Oooooh...You're the complainer."; Dead people stories (feminine napkins included); The '90s are back... in pog form; The commemorative "A" dick gold coin
Get in line! Take all you want, but eat all you take! Bus your plate! We're going to Smackdown!; Wrestling: I don't know much, but I know who's dead; The Olympics... show your shit; Dude love... why is he above?; Running from the Magic Kingdom; Our pixelated fears
Ben, Hunter, Bates, and...Dylan? This week You Talk Loud takes a field trip to visit Dylan. It was a worthy Cos. What do you mean "you people?"; The mystery of the mayor; The dating game; Speaking of ALF...; Cos-Play; Those sound like netbook names...; Martin's Lounge; Is that the ass eating one?; Coco Lopez, airbrushed track marks, and other trade secrets; Hunter vs. the drank vault
Make way for a GIANT-SIZED "You Talk Loud"! Evel Benievel; I've got gut puppets, I'm not coming in; Mr. Brannon vs. Mr. Gil; I'll take "Resident Evil 2" for $1000; Don't hate on the Fatman; Gay mutants vs. gay robots; The cast from "Coach" + laxatives...you do the math; "I CAN SEE THE CLAW!"; Bates, spirit beads, and the Baseline Bums; I thought rim jobs were cool?!?; The loophole in the bucket list
Pitch the tent and pack the provisions, cause we're going on an adventure! Rick Dees loves my mixtape; Rise of the planet of the zombies; Goin' to Vegas with gamblin' dad; Dear Buttman...; Lance's awesome tent; Reading like a blind person; Bill Cosby doesn't understand black kids; Buttman's cruel joke, The joke's on you, future!; Quit fucking with my comics!; Where's Bates?
Who's house? Shredder's house! Ben didn't do jack shit; I ain't 'fraida no poltergeist; Gonzales: home of the hopper, Ice cream demands; We're all in the same gang; The 7th inning drink; …and Donatello on bass!; The worst pizza place in Texas; Words that make you go...ewww
Load up the semi, fire up Peggle, and let's get on the road again! Eastbound and down, get those whales a rollin'; Blossom didn't smell so sweet; Late night wars; '80s movies like a motherfucker; A short discussion; Take Goosio to the Mardi Gras; Extreme Bates; Dad plays rough
And now for something completely different... A very special ski trip; Father, I have a confession to make; The last spaghetti sauce hero; Claymation Bates, the squirrel slayer; The Ghost Busters kinda do it again; One box set to rule them all; I majored in rap and minored in hip hop; "Tell everybody what we just did."
She may not look like much, but she's got it where it counts, sandwich kid! I'm sorry, Dad, Mass-holes, That's no supermoon…, Fat Dad takes a swim, I'm a Star Wars!, Bates is blinded by rage, Bert looks on disapprovingly, The Famle Tree of the Mopiti Babys, The youngest author, Austin vs. wild, Ben makes the Topo Run in less than 12 parsecs
Watch out! Spoilers ahead! Chim-Cham pussed out; RedBox is the new DMV; Ryan Gosling is not as bad as Ben thought (despite “The Notebook”); The modern Steve Guttenberg: revealed!; Hunter is a softy for Muppets; Buzz Lightyear shot first; Film hoarders; Mom's PPV experience; Dad's mystery tape; Ben doesn't call; Al goes to the principle's office
There's a party goin' on right here. A rager to last throughout the years. So bring your Krakken and your Tito's too. We gonna rock your party with you… Greek Easter and Armenian, Christmas, Bastardcuts, Meet Angry Craig and his cliqtoo, The Alex Jones bunker, Who doesn't want L.A. Gear flip flops that light up?, Don't hide in the fridge, April, don't cut me no slack, How to get a discount hooker the Armenian way, Tales from the adult film industry, A trip to Circus of Books, Please, someone give Hunter a job, “Ringmaster” changed RJ's Life, Musicality and the great Austin bass famine, P&W at Christstock, Moonshining, Ben, the pyro, Is it live or is it Memorex?, What's a C….D?, Not-so-social networking, Ben better keep his will up to date, 8 to 10* (*including the dog), Merkin Idol, The Guttenberg Paradox, Ben's dad was in “Crank 2″
You may: Ye Olde Organ Trail; Don't ask Ben about the Avengers vs. X-Men, I chose to buy the Jubilee toy, motherfucker!, As the great Martin Lawrence once said..., Love that chicken from..."Pie-Pies"?, Bigot people, dear reader, Squinkies, M.U.S.C.L.E. Men, and Lil' Homies
Chairry! Chairry! That's okay, she be back. Another YTL episode, she'll love me in the mornin'. Ain't that right Jambi? Ben defends "The Big Bang Theory"; A horse grows in Brooklyn; Ben's naked dad; Whoops! I beat Arkham City!; The TV line up at the rest home; Hunter's job hunt; Gimme Fiverr, Big Don Pee-wee; Bates explores "The Great Happiness Space"; YTL and the "Funky Forest" Bunch; Zombie Jesus day; Tales of Gonzales, Silver Lake Stories; Some good movies . . . and some really bad ones; The great water war; Night missions
Eat your heart out! Here's the menu: Who's hungee?; My Arby's tasted like grundle; The arcade extravaganza; My haunted birthday; Find those fuckin' eggs; How Ben fucked up meeting Knight Rider; The food-out-of-nowhere machine
This week's experiment is a tasty treat...whatta ya think, sirs? Birthday insult; Tom Turkey and April Fools O'Neil vs. the hotheaded 6-year-old; Taco Bell, we're breaking up; Miguel Sera and the official taco; The legend of the McDLT; Good food, made quickly; Why won't you fucking watch Mitchell?!?; My favorite misties; Indiana Jones goes to adventure heaven
Life's a dream, and then you cruise: What's in an ice cream name?; Darth's big day; The amazing Ferret-Dog; The terrifying Dog-Girl; Attack of the hipster zombies; Wolverine and Cyclops have a bitch fight; Choose your X-man!; It's OK to be Mass Effect Takei; The best of the broke-ass foods; President of the Snacky Cake store; Jealous of Lance's life; The not-so-fun lunch; Rockin' the lunch box; Car Voltron sucks; The world of cruising
Watch out! We got three badasses over here! Big talk about: Brad Garret Vs. Spermit the frog; The great pizza buffet debate; Jurassic pizza park; Uninvited guest; Who invented the cotton gin?; The Barton Springs naked old man club; More run-ins with the handicapped; "They had a rough time at school with their 'Beat It' t-shirts"; The battle of the "Star Wars" bad asses; I dream of Vader; The Imperial march of dimes; Rest home for the forgotten mascots; The Eastwood insurance cowboy robs the cradle; Follow that camel!; Tales of seasonal employment; Late night payback delivery; "It's just a bus ride away..."; The poor kid costume parade; Witches is bitches
This week the guys choke slam some knowledge on: Aikdo, do you kido?; Autographs are a serious undertaking; Gods of wrestling; Closer to the Gutt; More puss than a cathouse; New nicknames?; Seriously? You've never seen "The Godfather?"; Arnold needs to lay off the weed; Judd Hirsch don't give a fuck; The fat, British, homeless, male Mary Poppins; WTF was I doing at the Ron Reagan show?; Arnold and Dudley take a ride at the bike shop; TV time!; Hey Meat-Man, it's "Adventure Time!"; Dad, where do meme's come from?; In the year 3000; Alien skaters; There's a...counter on that ball!; The spirit of the early '90s
Everyone's a winner when: Every 9 year old has a magic dildo in the cupboard BOTH keys? at the same time?!? America's next Guttenberg Hold the drank! Tales from the salon Horror films: the good, the bad, and the Korean More name dropping All we had was He-Man and we liked it "The Dad Rap" Sports! The doughnut incident Tee-ball is a sham The rainbow parachute Snatch the bacon The final Lucas retcon "Cops" comes to the Shire Gandalf's roadie years Just watching mah stories Chyna's royal gang bang Guilty cartoon pleasures Racist Bates Mom's Jedi mind tricks The trials and tribulations of Big Guy