Planet of the Meerkats

Santa is the fucking man, let's just get that out the way up front. Homie's been perpetrating the largest, most complex logistical operation the world has ever seen for centuries at this point. Mad respect. And Dave, bless his heart, still believes. That's right…Doctor Dave is a Santa Stan. But, and I repeat — BUT — don't get Dave started on the myth of the Arctic Fox. Because Dave AIN'T HAVIN IT. For the love of Hans Gruber's soul trapped in an advent calendar, tune in to this week's POTM to get your head right. Happy holidays, all ye Meerkat Faithful (TM)!

I'm a big fan of thinking caps. In fact, I'm wearing mine right now. But hold up: For the next 32 minutes, Dave and Neil are inviting you to the brain siesta. Vamos! Tune out and turn on to the 1988 cult film, Young Einstein — the movie that thrust its budding star Yahoo Serious onto the international stage for a brief, shining moment. Is it the dumbest movie ever made about a genius? Probably. So throw back a few Vitamin Waters and pop this new podcast into your Walkman. Plus, Neil debuts a new original song inspired by this cinematic delight.

Raise your hands if you've ever been personally victimized by the Predator? If the Predator is from outer space why does it have human-like dreadlocks? (Oh my god, Dave, you can't just ask people why they have human-like dreadlocks.)Whether the Predator is hunting beefcakes in the South American rainforest, Danny Glover in a Los Angeles war-zone, or a Comanche princess who just wants to be a hunter, the Predator may not have ultimately won in these encounters, but they did steal our hearts. Join us as we discuss Predator, Predator 2, and Prey (ignoring the middle ones), speculate about Predator society, and listen to Neil serenade the space-hunting-sonsabitches.

To where did the Meerkats go? Have they been hibernating? Did they decamp to the Bermuda for tax avoidance reasons? Are they living the sweet life as anthropomorphic bagels in an alternate universe? Turns out they were just straight chilling for 5 months. But, rejoice! Our furry friends are back to talk about an odd couple of Criterion classics: the 1988 Martin Brest film “Midnight Run,” and Orson Welles's brooding noir, “Touch of Evil.”

Do you know what hell sounds like? Is it the siren song of Sesame Street? Popular songs that have been whittled down to only the hooks? The playlist of a seven-year old? A Florida legislator reading the text of the “Don't Say Gay” bill? One thing is for sure: this podcast is not what hell sounds like. It is quite nice. Join us as we discuss gender reveals, laugh at Francis Fukuyama, advocate for more dogs at work, and more.

In these dark days there is joy to be found. Joy…and Tes-love. We share our joy in the form of pitches for Hallmark Original romcoms centered around emergent Tesla features and advice to President Biden on how to defuse the Ukraine crisis. We also ask, are Juggalos a model for an inclusive, socially responsible society? Don't deny the magnetism of the full-figured, polymath mouse Gadget Hackwrench. Listen to the Planet of the Meerkats.

The Super Bowl is again upon us! Our holiday of holidays, when a grip of grown-ass rich dudes in tight pants toss the old pig intestine around to see who takes home all the marbles. But Dave and Neil don't give two hoots about what goes down on the gridiron, we're here for purely aesthetic reasons: logos, helmets, and uniforms, baby. Who's got the juice? Are the Rams the GOATs of branding, or can the Bengals claw their way into the Pinterest boards of our hearts? F*** around and find out!

Kids today are beset on all sides by D.A.N.G.E.R.: Drugs, Actresses named Zendaya, Needless animal sacrifice by P.O.T.U.S., Gay rappers, Explicit lyrics, and Roving bands of karate hooligans. Join us as we discuss Spotify, S.C.O.T.U.S., unmanly cats, people named Joe, and the state of kids today. As Socrates said, “Children nowadays are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannize their teachers with random karate brawls.”

One day you're just lounging on the couch, watching the 1977 animated version of The Hobbit, eating raw mushrooms from a brown paper bag. The next, you're renting an apartment in a literal mossy cave and your roommate is a giant African land snail that's always late on its rent. Folks, it's a slippery slope into the goblincore lifestyle, because that slope is muddy as fuck and if you fall down you just keep sliding until you splash into the old troll's pond, but watch out because he's a mean-ass troll and he'll turn you into a sheep if he catches you.

Language matters. Inclusion matters. But take even a marginal step to make the language of local ordinances more inclusive? Outrageous. Dave's community of San Diego recently passed a policy that prohibits the use of gendered pronouns in the municipal code. The response to this was big and incensed. Dave and Neil jaw about crazy gendered local and state laws around the US that are still on the books, review some of the reactions to the SD policy, and discuss how transgender Americans have found themselves targeted by a host of new laws around the country. Join us as we talk about all this and more.

Anakin Skywalker gave sand a bad rap. David Lynch spoiled it with voiceovers. Now, Denis Villaneuve is here to give sand another chance to spawn giant drug-farting worms. Did he succeed? Will these worms pass gas? Join us as we compare and contrast the new Dune with Lynch's Dune like we're in 8th grade English, explore the politics and philosophy of author Frank Herbert, and dip our toes into the water of Timothee Chalomet's thematically disparate co-release, The French Dispatch. We are not the chosen ones but we do make a great podcast. You won't even get sand in your cracks.

use fighting it. Think back on that golden afternoon, sitting on the stoop in the sunshine with Mitch and the other neighborhood toughs — you knew you'd never be the same. It wasn't too long before you were hitting the Smarties 24/7. You had to stay up just a little bit later to beat the Final Boss, so you snorted some sweet Pixy Stix. And now look at you. You're eating a Snickers right now, aren't you. That's right, Dave. I'm talking to you. I'm trying to record this week's damn podcast, but you're high on candy. Get control of yourself, man!

Okay, so Karl Marx, Robert Altman, and Tom Hanks walk into a bar. It's a shame that I don't have a punchline for this joke, but as a consolation prize I do have a fresh episode of Planet of the Meerkats — and this week we've got a real doozy on our hands. It's volume one of our new Review Roundup series, where Dave and Neil discuss the books, music, movies, and more that have recently piqued their attention. Is Dave getting paid by author Rian Hughes to promote his new science fiction/typography mashup novel XX? Is the 1993 film Demolition Man the most important film in the history of cinema? We'll answer these questions and more, next, on POTM.

Technically speaking it's still summer, but those halcyon pre-Delta days have faded into our collective rear view — now we're staring out at a world of ochre leaves and long shadows, waiting for the warm embrace of PSL escapism. That's right, homies, pumpkin season is nigh, so strap on a cable-knit sweater and plug into the Meerkat Matrix — this week we're bringing you all the gourd news that's fit to print.

Things are getting better! But you wouldn't know it when you open the newspaper or turn on the tv. People are biased to view the world negatively and pessimistically and this is reinforced by news media overwhelmingly focused on the bad. From Socrates to our parents, people have feared that kids are not all right – that the world is not all right. And truly, we need to know about these bad things that happen, but we also need to recognize the progress we're making. The world has consistently improved over the last century by almost every measure: people are less poor, better educated, less bigoted, less violent. Are things always good? Not necessarily. Should we keep fighting for progress? Absolutely. But are we heading in the right direction overall? Yes! So, crack open a cold drink and join us as the Meerkats get controversial and celebrate our wins.

One afternoon while the Meerkats were strolling through Disneyland, Dave suggested they watch The Fast and The Furious. Why? Well, why not. Because this 2001 film is a meditation on family and loyalty. A story about pushing through one's limits, both physical and mental. A tale of how greed and revenge can lead us down the darkest of streets. It's a film that goes vroom, zoom, and occasionally, boom. In this episode Dave breaks down where each TFATF character falls on Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, and Neil recaps Peace, Love, and Rage, the newly released Woodstock ‘99 documentary. Cue the steel drums.Correction: Tyrese Gibson appears in 2Fast2Furious, not Taye Diggs. Our apologies to Tyrese and Taye.

Stories provide a common language and mythology that bind society together. Broadly, across entire cultures, and intimately, at the water cooler. But stories are changing. Storytelling is changing. From broad cinematic universes to tales told by podcast, from the ethics of deepfaked performances to thorny conversations about building new art on the foundations of old, technology and global interconnectedness are changing storytelling on every level. Join us as we discuss how storytelling has evolved and where it is going. Plus, Neil rants about social media and Dave drops a billion-dollar Ghostbusters idea.

This week we interview Eric Leven, Visual Effects Supervisor on Marvel's Falcon and the Winter Soldier. Eric has had a long career doing special effects for properties such as F&TWS, Cloverfield, Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey, and Starship Troopers. We discuss the evolution of VFX from stop-motion to CGI, the two camps of VFX - spaceships and lasers vs monsters and mummies - and the importance of reference material. When do you blow a car up for real? How do you best make a shield bounce? How do you start a career in VFX? Learn about that and more as we avoid the uncanny valley on Planet of the Meerkats.

During the pandemic, our kids watched a lot of children's programming and we watched it with them. Do we have some thoughts? Yes, yes we do. From the cloying cuteness of Wonder Pets to half-assed YouTube content farms, from the incessant whining of Calliou to the obnoxiousness of Blippi, there is a lot of bullshit out there. What the hell is up with SpongeBob? Does the Cat in the Hat condition your children to be kidnapped? Join us as we praise the good, dunk on the bad, and laugh at the ugly shows that our kids love to watch. And watch. And watch...

From whence did humankind come? To where are we heading? Prior to recorded history, were we really just living in caves and banging rocks together, or was there an antediluvian period of advanced human history that has been lost to the historical record? Conversely, as humans approach the Singularity, irreversibly change the Earth's climate, and flirt with interstellar travel, what will humankind look like in 100 years? What about a million? Will we meet extraterrestrials? Will we speciate? Will we seed other planets? Will we disburse satellites that mysteriously play Steve Miller Band's “The Joker” as beacons to lead our distant post-human ancestors back to the fabled planet Terra™ by Terra Chips. Come, join the Meerkats as we discuss all of that and more.

We’re friends, okay? We’ve known each other forever, okay? But you, dear listener, don’t really know us. Join us as we interview each other and ask the hard questions (Part 2!), such as: what would your Purge mask look like? Astrology or aliens? What’s your go-to album when you’re down? What’s your superpower? Come, find out what makes a Meerkat tick. Come, be our friend.

Hey! Come derry dols! Lord of the Rings, the fantasy epic that birthed a genre and a thousand black light posters, has confused many a reader. Just as the story gets momentum, BAM! The narrative is stopped for three chapters with an interlude about a silly, singing, enigma who is immune to the evil of The One Ring but does nothing about it. What are we to make of this man with boots of yellow? Is he a god? Is he nature? Is he just there to party?  Join us as we explore one of the oddest - and merriest - characters in fiction: Tom Bom, jolly Tom, Tom Bombadil(lo).

The end is nigh, brought to you by Godzilla. Or Ragnarok. Or Calliou? There are 32 apocalypses jonesing to end it all for us, but there can be only one (because, of course). Join the Meerkats as we pit these Apocalypses against one another, March Madness-style, to see which catastrophe will be our undoing. What will be our destroyer? A super-volcano? Our housecats? Vigo the Carpathian? This is science, people: you can take it to the bank.

This week we chat with Australian ex-pat Christopher Burns, the musical force behind tawny.frogmouth and composer of the Planet of the Meerkats’ amazing theme song. Christopher shares about his musical and artistic process, his thoughts on Australian lollies, raccoon baseball-interference, and barely comprehensible Aussie surfer slang - some of it through song! (Seriously, you have to hear these songs.) Have you ever wondered why Australia has named so many things after Batman? What’s the deal with Vegemite? Come, rinse your corn, and tour the Southern Hemisphere of the Planet of the Meerkats.

Remember when you could buy a squirt gun that looked like a Kalashnikov? When parents would set their kids free and expect them to take care of their sh*t until dinner time? When 8 year-olds were free to watch hyperviolent dramatic meditations on the Vietnam war and then play with the corresponding heavily-armed action figure? From GI Joes to Slinkys, from baseball cards to invisible dogs, toys play an outsized role in our society. They’ve gone from being kids’ playthings to collectibles, and are now as much for adults as they are for kids. Go fishing with Spider-Man, stage a Playmobil robbery, and join the Meerkats as they reminisce about good toys, bad toys, dangerous toys, and more.

After living through a modern plague for more than a year now we’ve all become armchair COVID experts — thus, the Meerkats are gonna play their hands at prognostication, pondering what future plagues might look like and considering what big lessons we’ll learn from our pandemic response. We’ll also talk about cicadas, the biblical plagues, and of course, rabies and scabies. Join us for episode two of season two, as Neil drops a top 5 music references to plagues and pathogens list and we break

Light up your best aromatherapy candles, open that fancy $8 bottle of pink wine, and break out your freak-nastiest nightie that you’ve been saving for a special occasion — it’s the Planet of the Meerkats season two premiere and we’re getting steamy. In a post-COVID world, what does intimacy look like? Are we on the precipice of a new sexual revolution? Be it holosex with VR celebrities or interdimensional alien trysts, the future of sex is going to look very different. Joining us this week is Dave’s wife, Bronwyn, who’ll help us sift through the best and worst Star Trek episodes about sex on the Holodeck.

Can the past change? From the Berenstain Bears to Darth Vader, the so-called Mandela Effect has caught the imagination of the internet. Nelson Mandela, the eponymous statesman who died in 2013, is remembered by many to have died in prison in the 1980’s. We could dismiss this as a misremembered morsel of history, if not for the thousands who misremember it in the same way. Are things actually changing, leaving residual mental impressions in some people? Or is this just the way false memories manifest in a networked world? Join us for the season finale of Planet of the Meekrats as we explore the phenomenon, discuss emerging theories of the multiverse, and ask the question: what is real?

If humanity were married to our nuclear arsenal we would have just celebrated our diamond 75th wedding anniversary. How have we responded? Much like in a real marriage: terror, insanity, grief and, eventually, indifference. Also, some pretty great songs and movies! Join the Meerkats as we party like it’s 1999, walk the dinosaur, and duck and cover our way through a “nucular” war-themed Zen Koan.

Dracula. Dragula. Blacula. Scott Bakula? Its been a long time, getting from there to here, but here we are, talking about vampires. Not just vampires, but his undead highness, Dracula himself. From an unholy monster, to a silly kids movie character, to a veritable god of repressed and, later, overt sexuality, Dracula has endured as a horror icon for over a century. Slip out of your coffin, slap on a cape, and slop on some SPF 1000 sunscreen so you can join us as we shine a spotlight on Big Poppa D.

Kick off your socks and crack open a cold one, it’s time to get cozy and listen to the Meerkats grill each other with hard-hitting questions like, “What Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle are you?” and “Would you rather fight Karl Marx or Milton Friedman?” That’s right, we’ve got a half-serious half-silly Q-and-A comin’ atcha.

Here’s to our sweet…listeners. In the late 1960s and 1970s, theatricality in rock music reigned supreme, musicians dabbled in demonism, and the squares freaked the [meow] out. Join us as we explore the origins of Goth Rock, how rock acts embraced occult aesthetics, and how subliminal and explicit messages steered fans to the dark arts. Put on your freaky make-up, play the devil’s chord, and kick back as the Meerkats put a spell on you.

Look into the eyes of a chicken and contemplate it’s incredible, savage stupidity. Look at the chicken through the eyes of Werner Herzog and discover how artistic observation can create poetry from that stupidity. If civilization is only a thin veil over a yawning chaotic ocean, and that ocean defined by the monsters lurking in the dark, where would we be without art? Pull your own riverboat over a mountain and join us as we explore the life and films of Werner Herzog, a man who said he would travel to hell to rescue a film from the devil.

Batten down the hatches and awaken your inner Eldritch god, it’s time to talk sea monsters. The Meerkats discuss human-mermaid sexual relations, the eponymous Moby Richard, and are joined by Abigail for a top ten list. What are Cthulhu’s pronouns? Was Walt Disney planning a second Cuban invasion with his mermaid army? What is the worst type of animal infested rain? (spoiler: it’s spiders.) Release your inner kraken and join us on Planet of the Meerkats.

Holster your pick-axe and dust off your prospecting pan, this week we’re going gonzo for gold! It might not be the most valuable or the most useful element, but gold’s got swagger, a certain je ne c’est quoi, a flair for the dramatic. From the 49ers to the Ft. Knox conspiracy theorists, from gold-plated sushi to Trump’s golden toilet, this soft and shiny metal knows exactly how to push our buttons. Drop the needle on your golden oldies, put on your gold chains, and sidle up to the golden bar for another episode with the Meerkats as we drive Master P’s golden tank straight into your EarPods.

The Super Bowl is nothing if not a mirror reflecting the shallow decadence of the American soul, a crumpled can of Monster Energy tossed to the shoulder of our lonely highway of shattered national pride. For a few sacred hours each year we set aside our political differences in shared love for puppies, shared hatred for Tom Brady, and an unceasing appetite for wings, be they chicken or other. But we’re really only here to talk about cereal, pirates, the Beastie Boys, and Nic Cage. Pour one of for your homies, smoke ‘em if you got ‘em, and join us on the Mothership.

The idea of the lost civilization has always held an intoxicating sway over the human mind, driving some to fantastical speculation and others to doomed exploration. The Meerkats delve into some of the most persistent myths, from Atlantis to Lemuria to hollow earth theory, with a detour into Bohemian Grove. Pull out your Mayan calendars and get ready to party like its December 21, 2012!

The Meerkats welcome Neil’s brother to the pod to talk about the evolving GameStop stock saga and try to learn why this story is so captivating. It turns out that sticking it to a bunch of Wall Street jerks is one way to unite the country.

Let’s raise a toast to toasted bread and all the humble sauces and slices that make sandwiches the ideal food. Join the Meerkats this week as they recount a fantastic voyage to Philly, discuss which Boyz II Men songs pair best with a cheesesteak, and estimate how many millions of calories they’ve consumed eating In-N-Out burgers over the years. The duo try their best to define what qualifies as a sandwich, and Dave rates his favorite sandwich abominations.

Throw on your cloak, grab a turkey leg for a snack, and hop on your trusty unicorn steed! The Meerkats are galloping back to the Middle Ages this week and along the way they’ll discuss monk fashion, Teslas, narwhals, tree climbing injuries, and eating tacos with David Bowie.

Put on your cursed ice crown and adopt a demon-vampire baby for this gem-tastic podcast. Dave introduces Neil to Adventure Time, Steven Universe, and one of the primary creatives behind the magic, Rebecca Sugar. Dave also interviews Abigail about her perspective on the shows.

Mechanical servants. More perfect versions of ourselves. The reapers of our eventual demise? Dave and Neil welcome special guest Abigail, 11-year-old robot aficionado, to discuss the evolution of robots in literature, TV, and film and to grapple with the complexities of robot ethics. The meerkats mull the mysteries of CAPTCHA, objectionable uses of the holodeck, and the potential of garlic-peeling robots. Join us as we rank our favorite robots and honor the other androids, automatons, and AIs that have set our imaginations in motion.

Grab your hat and saddle your hoss, it’s time to talk cowboys. Dave and Neil discuss cowboy songs, cowboy movies, cowboy costumes, cowboys on the moon, and our general confusion about what a cowboy is. Does The Joker by Steve Miller Band qualify as a cowboy song? Is there a right reason to open a brothel? Who are the modern cowboys? Find out that and more this week on Planet of the Meerkats.

If you’re here for hot takes, you’re in the right place. Neil introduces Dave to Japanese environmental music with a very dope Spotify playlist and the Meerkats declare that American cheese is underrated. Put on your warmest socks and cuddle up for the most ambient mini-episode that you’ve ever episoded.

Neil reflects on his travels in Japan and Dave talks about some of the cultural touchstones from Japan that have influenced him, including Kurosawa, Murakami, and Junji Ito. The Meerkats also discuss two classics of Japanese cinema, House and Tampopo.

Dave and Neil talk broadly about music and specifically about barbershop quartets, the junior high school rapper-rocker fight of 1992, the Traveling Wilburys, video game tunes, and more.

Dave and Neil introduce the Planet of the Meerkats podcast and discuss the Leprechaun in the Hood, Abercrombie & Fitch, Barry Bonds, Stuffed Crust Pizza, Ric Ole, and Josh Hartnett.