Starting Over Stronger | Divorce Survival and Recovery

Divorcing with Respect is possible, and this week we are focusing on how to make that possible! Tune in to episode 128 for more about how you can make divorce a respectful parting of ways so everyone can move forward in the best space possible.Contact Melissa Ellis or Elizabeth Hill directly through the Collaborative Practice of Kansas City at www.collaborativedivorcekc.com Support the show

Today, we're delving back into a crucial aspect of personal development – and that is, boundaries. But why are Boundaries such a hot topic? What do they even mean and how do they play a pivotal role in navigating life transitions? Join me as we explore all of this and more to ignite the positive impact of strong, healthy boundaries during your difficult life transition. Support the show

Welcome back to the Starting Over Stronger Podcast! Tune in to learn what's been going on during this year-long break and to find out more about what is in store for 2024! It's going to be a great year! Support the show

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!The Starting Over Stronger book reading is complete.Another year is complete.The vision of the Starting Over Stronger podcast also seems complete, and today I am here to talk with you a little about "Trusting the Process" and what that mantra has meant to me as I have come to accept the completion (for now, anyway) of the Starting Over Stronger podcast.Tune in on this NEW YEAR'S DAY to hear more about what I mean by that as we say FAREWELL to another year and WELCOME to the flow of what 2023 promises in each of our lives! Support the show

Back to the story... the Starting Over Stronger Memoir reading, part 13, chapter 12--the final reading. Thanks for joining us and HAPPY NEW YEAR 2023!ORDER YOUR PAPERBACK OR E-BOOK HERE NOW: https://a.co/d/bzGZVxH Support the show

Back to the story... the Starting Over Stronger Memoir reading, part 12 of 13. Thanks for joining us and MERRY CHRISTMAS!ORDER YOUR PAPERBACK OR E-BOOK HERE NOW: https://a.co/d/bzGZVxH Support the show

Back to the story... the Starting Over Stronger Memoir reading, part 11 of 13. Thanks for joining us.ORDER YOUR PAPERBACK OR E-BOOK HERE NOW: https://a.co/d/bzGZVxH Support the show

Back to the story... the Starting Over Stronger Memoir reading, part 10 of 13. Thanks for joining us.ORDER YOUR PAPERBACK OR E-BOOK HERE NOW: https://a.co/d/bzGZVxH Support the show

Back to the story... the Starting Over Stronger Memoir reading, part 9. Thanks for joining us.ORDER YOUR PAPERBACK OR E-BOOK HERE NOW: https://a.co/d/bzGZVxH Support the show

Back to the story... the Starting Over Stronger Memoir reading, part 8, starting chapter 7. Thanks for joining us.ORDER YOUR PAPERBACK OR E-BOOK HERE NOW: https://a.co/d/bzGZVxH Support the show

Back to the story... the Starting Over Stronger Memoir reading, part 7. Thanks for joining us.ORDER YOUR PAPERBACK OR E-BOOK HERE NOW: https://a.co/d/bzGZVxH Support the show

Back to the story... the Starting Over Stronger Memoir reading, part 6. Thanks for joining us.ORDER YOUR PAPERBACK OR E-BOOK HERE NOW: https://a.co/d/bzGZVxH Support the show

Back to the story... the Starting Over Stronger Memoir reading, part 5. Thanks for joining us.ORDER YOUR PAPERBACK OR E-BOOK HERE NOW: https://a.co/d/bzGZVxH Support the show

Welcome back for Reading 4 of the new memoir, Starting Over Stronger: Finding a Pathway Out of Codependency to Create a New Life of Peace. Thanks for joining us.ORDER YOUR PAPERBACK OR E-BOOK HERE NOW: https://a.co/d/bzGZVxH Support the show

Welcome back for Reading 3 of the new memoir, Starting Over Stronger: Finding a Pathway Out of Codependency to Create a New Life of Peace. Thanks for joining us.ORDER YOUR PAPERBACK OR E-BOOK HERE NOW: https://a.co/d/bzGZVxH Support the show

Welcome back to the Starting Over Stronger Podcast reading of my new memoir Starting Over Stronger: Finding a Pathway Out of Codependency to Create a New Life of Peace. We are starting Chapter 3 this week. Thanks for joining us.Please order your copy of the book now at: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BBZ2JBCP?fbclid=IwAR2MrfMr7e5bDZoTDWKIo9zgX6Wf6urrO9gUFIbXBDD9sVznsrsD1F6ULMs Support the show

Welcome back to the Starting Over Stronger Podcast! The PAUSE that I practiced this past several weeks was so cathartic and needed. Thank you for your patience. While I rested from publishing episodes of this podcast, I was busy publishing my memoir! Join me as I read it to you! And go order your copy of the book as an e-Book or as a paperback on Amazon at the big ugly link below or just search for Starting Over Stronger! The cover is a bright blue book with a yellow sunrise! https://smile.amazon.com/Starting-Over-Stronger-Finding-Codependency/dp/B0BD8LKXFW/ref=sr_1_4?crid=22C8TOQ1R5HC3&keywords=starting+over+stronger+book&qid=1664930633&qu=eyJxc2MiOiIwLjAwIiwicXNhIjoiMC4wMCIsInFzcCI6IjAuMDAifQ%3D%3D&sprefix=starting+over+stronger%2Caps%2C99&sr=8-4  Support the show

Coming soon! This fall will be filled with a new segment where I will be reading to you my newly published Starting Over Stronger Memoir (available on Amazon September 2022)! Support the show

Have you ever heard of the old adage, "Practice the Pause"... it's a famous life quote used by Lori Deschene, an American author and founder of the Tiny Buddha website. It simply means a learned skill, where you intentionally cease from taking action and speaking until you can process through what's going on.Practice the Pause is an alliterative and fun way to say that for right now, time is the answer. Let's talk through the ways you can pause and the importance and benefits of practicing the pause. And stay tuned to the very end for a special announcement you will not want to miss!Support the show

Journaling so changed me and my life that I recommend it to everyone I know. Spending some time today sharing with you from my heart about WHY I feel this strongly about the practice of putting pen to paper to unleash and process your inner world.Support the show

It's about time we dig into this subject. What are the signs of covert narcissistic abuse? What's it like being in a relationship with a covert narcissist? How do you know if you are stuck in this subtle pattern of controlling, manipulative and hurtful behaviors? Listen in today to learn more.Support the show

On today's show, join us as Annie is interviewed on the Financial Fix radio show with host Teresa McGarry. You will learn more about the bottom line difference it makes to share your divorce and recovery journey with a Certified Divorce Coach by your side. Support the show

Are you trying to co parent with a narcissist? Join us this week on the Starting Over Stronger Podcast to hear from Marriage and Family Therapist and 3x best selling author, Margalis Feljstad, about how you CAN raise resilient children even with a borderline or narcissist co-parent!Support the show

This week on the Starting Over Stronger Podcast, with fellow CDC Jennifer Medwin, we want you to help you discover what positive affirmations are and how to use them daily to create more empowerment, more love, better health, and a greater sense of well-being in your life today—especially as you face ensure or recover from divorce!Support the show

From Katherine Miller, Divorce Dialogues Host:Has your divorce left you exhausted and longing to get away from it all? When a marriage ends, most people are physically and emotionally drained. After all the chaos, a week zoning out on a beach in the sun somewhere sounds just about perfect. But what if you could combine a relaxing retreat with intentional practices designed to help you process your feelings?After her divorce, Annie Allen shifted from her former training as a Certified Marriage and Family Counselor to Certified Divorce & Life Transition Coaching®. Now she helps people through private and group coaching, her Starting Over Stronger Divorce Survival & Recovery podcast, and specialized post-divorce healing retreats. On this episode of the podcast, Annie joins Katherine to share how post-divorce healing retreats offer structured activities, designed to help participants find closure so healing can begin.TOPICS COVERED:What is a post-divorce healing retreatWhy do people need to heal post-divorceThe secret insight that leads to therapy successWhen marriage therapy offers the best chance to heal a relationshipHow a structured post-divorce retreat helps to bring about emotional healingWhy intentional rest helps you hear your innermost selfThe key that helps people find peace during a healing retreatHow to gain the strength and clarity to set boundaries and effect changeThe most important part of a post-divorce healing retreatCONNECT WITH ANNIE ALLENStarting Over StrongerStarting Over Stronger on FacebookStarting Over Stronger Divorce Survival & Recovery PodcastCONNECT WITH KATHERINE MILLER The Center for Understanding in Conflict Miller Law Group Katherine on LinkedIn The New Yorker's Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller Email katherine@miller-law.com Call (914) 862-7487RESOURCESSOS Retreat in November 2022How to Live Your Best Life Now! Listen to the Good Life Project Podcast.Insights, ideas & stories from leading voices and experts that help you live a good life. Listen on: Apple Podcasts SpotifySupport the show

For SOS Survivor Krista, losing all health insurance after her toxic divorce while still feeling the need for relief from C-PTSD, anxiety, and depression left her terrified. What she discovered once she had no insurance and no money to continue to pay for the expensive cocktail of chemicals her doctors had been prescribing was that she didn't need them. She found the courage to see that she could handle her mental health better without the mind-altering drugs. She wants you to know you have this courage too... you just have to let go of the limiting belief that you cannot survive without the drugs.How to Live Your Best Life Now! Listen to the Good Life Project Podcast.Insights, ideas & stories from leading voices and experts that help you live a good life. Listen on: Apple Podcasts Spotify Handing the Shame BackA channel for Adult Survivors of Child Sexual AbuseListen on: Apple Podcasts SpotifySupport the show

I don't know about you, but I can, on occasion, get a little bit stressed out. Between the depressing news headlines that we can't seem to escape even when we literally never turn on the news, to bills and work (even if you love your work) and the never-ending to do list, not to mention for some of you have kids that have 6,000 questions and demands on your time all day… and that doesn't even include if you are in the middle of a divorce, recovering from a divorce or dealing with a narcissist anywhere in your life… it's kinda hard not to get a little anxious and irritable some days… or to totally lose our sh*t on other days.Soooo… if your life has been screaming, chill the *f* out, and you have not been getting the message, you're going to love what I have to share today about how you can chill out even right smack dab in the middle of your crazy nonstop life/divorce. Support the show

Sometimes,  in the middle of a mess, something happens that changes everything. Today you will hear the story of what happened for one woman (Author and Survivor, Kasey Rogers) whose mess was a toxic, financially abusive marriage as bad or worse than any you've imagined, and the thing that happened that changed everything was her abusive husband's sudden diagnosis and death. Stay tuned!Support the show

It was my pleasure to sit down with Survivor, Beth Langdon, and hear her story of overcoming through and after her divorce. If you ever have the pleasure of meeting Beth, you will immediately sense the HOPE on which she has built her life, and which she shares lavishly with all who meet her.Support the show

This week, the STARTING OVER STRONGER DIVORCE SURVIVAL AND RECOVERY PODCAST is 100 STRONG!There's so much to recap and then I have a special guest who will take the mic and interview me about being a divorce coach! It's thrilling to share with you why I do what I do and how it helps people find their voice so they can navigate divorce well for as positive an outcome as possible. I have some more surprise guests too that I know you are going to want to hear from! Tune in now to join the celebration as we share a toast

Mediation seems like such a big scary word. It's really not. It may not be fun to be in the same room with the person you may never want to see again but it is so much better than going to court… emotionally and financially. Today, we are going to explore what the PERFECT MEDIATION appointment would look like with popular podcast host and attorney/mediator Susan Guthrie. If you have a mediation in your future, this is information you need.Support the show

What difference does it make how you eat and sleep during divorce and other seasons of major stress? It makes ALL the difference! And as impossible as it may sound to eat and sleep well, or as much as you may even be opposed to the idea of even trying, today's talk with Wellness Coach, Kelli Calabrese, is going to shed light on how to incorporate these practices into your life now to reduce emotional overwhelm and actually feel better than you might think as you divorce.  Support the show

Empowerment is one of those words that comes preloaded with all kinds of stereotypes and preconceived notions, yet with everything I share and each person I interview here on the Starting Over Stronger Podcast, I have ONE GOAL in mind – to EMPOWER you to stop believing lies so you can change your life. And the biggest lie any of us have ever believed is that we CAN'T change our lives! Tune in today to hear the simple brain switch you need to change anything and everything that doesn't serve you well in life.Today, I will share with you about a concept that totally changed my life. It's called TED—The Empowerment Dynamic by David Emerald.Support the show

Sometimes it is hard to imagine a life of faith after a church (or someone protected by one) wounds you deeply, but the truth is that God is on your side, He loves you and He never ordained sin, excused wrongdoing or protected anyone on the side of evil. Tune in today to hear a pivotal recovery story of one woman who kept writing her faith story even when the church and its people failed her in deeply painful ways.Support the show (https://www.paypal.me/anniejallen)

Today, we are going to dream a little if your divorce is still in process or hasn't even begun. I know that so many of you are wondering about the day when it is all said and done and what your financial future is going to look like. After all, that is the very question that often remains shrouded in mystery and keeps us stuck in unhealthy marriages for much longer than is healthy. So whether you are before, during or after divorce, I want to take some time today and dig in to how you can have a secure financial future – no matter what! Support the show (https://www.paypal.me/anniejallen)

What is a Boundary Buster and Can we really Beat them?By Annie Allen, Certified Divorce and Life Transition CoachBoundariesSuch a loaded word.And what's this about Beating them? Can we do that? No! No no! I didn't mean beat them like that! I mean beat them at their own game. A boundary is simply a container for respect we have for ourselves and others. They should be everywhere we look, but you have probably noticed that dysfunction far outweighs function in our world today, so tune in today for a closer look at what boundaries are and how they help us in our home and work lives. I know you are tired of attracting users and abusers in your life. If you weren't, you would probably be listening to a different podcast. But did you know that YOU  (and only you) can STOP attracting users, liars, cheats and narcissists into your life!? Today we are going to talk about how. It is easier than you think. Tune in today to learn how!Support the show (https://www.paypal.me/anniejallen)

Jill McCarthy is a woman with a story to tell and the moral of her story is the fact that she CAN and DOES tell it! She recently shared her story on the March 8th Voices of Women event (links in the show notes if you would like to locate and listen to that). Today, Jill is here to share her story with the SOS Show listeners about how EMDR, Chiropractic and other Body-Mind modalities helped her in her search to literally find her voice and to discover how life and trauma had affected her voice physically and metaphorically. Ultimately, she found her ability to speak up for herself and advocate for herself without having to end her marriage. The moral of the story is that no matter whether you are IN or OUT of your difficult relationship, you will be inspired by Jill's story. Ultimately, whatever you decide to do about your marriage, your voice is important and you must find it. Support the show (https://www.paypal.me/anniejallen)

What is an Enneagram and why does it matter for your during your divorce? Well, like StrengthsFinder, DISC and Myers-Briggs, there are actually dozens of different personality type tests and if you are anything like me, you have taken them all. If not, its's high time! Starting Over Stronger exists for the very purpose of helping you understand yourself and your situations in life better. That starts with more self awareness of how you present in the world, in your marriage, in your career, with your kids, and your friends and any school, church or community roles you play. Stay tuned to learn more about your enneagram type and how that can inform the way you handle major life changes like divorce. Support the show (https://www.paypal.me/anniejallen)

What is a Certified Divorce Lending Professional and do you need one if you own a house and you're facing divorce? The answer is YES. Mortgage and divorce are almost like death and taxes, not in whether they are in fact unavoidable, but in how very complex they can be. Combine them and things can get sticky very quickly. There are tips and workarounds that only a CDLP can offer you. Don't miss today's episode where CDLP Mike Foote and I are going to shine a light on how important it is to get someone on your side who understands all the nuances of divorce and mortgage. Support the show (https://www.paypal.me/anniejallen)

After spending three decades with the only man I thought I would ever love from the age of 14 to 44, my divorce ushered me into a season where I found myself facing the prospect of dating for the first time in my entire life. I had no idea how to date, but what I did know was where to get the help I needed to put it all together. With coaching from my therapist, a good book, and just following my own intuition, I created a dating strategy that yielded a good man on the fifth date I would ever go on. A man who loved me unconditionally for who I was. A good man who worked hard and loved even harder. A humble man who listens and cares how he makes me feel. He even apologizes when he hurts me, helps me with my laundry and cooks dinner more often than I do! How did I attract such  an aligned and amazing partner with little to no knowledge about dating?  Well, maybe that was what helped me. Having no idea "how dating was done." I had to just piece together a strategy that worked for me from what I did know, and it turns out that it worked perfectly for me, and I think you will find that it will work well for you too. I can't promise you will find the love of your new life in five dates, but I can't say that won't happen either! I do know with these strategies at work, you will be feeling confidently ready to meet new people, trusting your instincts, detached from outcomes and just enjoying life more. And just imagine how attractive that is going to be to someone.   Support the show (https://www.paypal.me/anniejallen)

Many people don't understand the difference between therapy and coaching and whether they would most benefit from one, the other, or both. What can you expect from each type of assistance? Join us for this informative conversation with a Therapist and a Coach talking about how you can get the help you need as you divorce.Support the show (https://www.paypal.me/anniejallen)

The saddest thing about betrayal is that it never comes from your enemies. Betrayal is betrayal whether it is sexual or emotional and it becomes spiritual when it happens at church or with church leaders. Church should be one of the safest places on earth. But tragically for some, it becomes a place of great harm when charismatic leaders distort the Word of God for their personal gain.This week on the Starting Over Stronger Show, we are going to going to approach a very difficult topic. My guest, Sandy Kirkam is a survivor of clergy sexual abuse as a teen and she is here to tell her story and share her mission to help others speak up and get the healing they deserve. Support the show (https://www.paypal.me/anniejallen)

What questions SHOULD you be asking your attorney? What questions should you NOT be asking your attorney? And if not them, then who? You want your conversations with your attorney to be the most productive and efficient uses of yours and your attorney's time! So let's dive in to Attorney Alyssa Hodges list of the most popular questions people ask to discuss whether or not these are legal questions who you should be talking to about these top issues like "Can I date during my divorce?" Stay tuned... Support the show (https://www.paypal.me/anniejallen)

What is Gaslighting? Where did the term originate? What is it like to be in a relationship with someone who gaslights? What is the best response to Gaslighting, and how can you set boundaries to exit and heal from this toxic dynamic?Stay tuned today to learn all this and more.  Support the show (https://www.paypal.me/anniejallen)

Katherine Miller, Miller Law GroupKatherine Miller is our guest today because she is passionate and knowledgeable about helping couples divorce with dignity. I will be asking her a series of questions about ways that people can approach the dissolution of marriage. This is a multi-faceted subject so our conversation today will take some twists and turns as we navigate several different angles to be considered, so for those of you who just aren't yet sure if you will be filing or how to handle things when you sense the end of your marriage is drawing near, this is going to be a very helpful guide for some very important things you may need to consider.First, we dig into “SEPARATION v. DIVORCE.”For some people, separation is being considered because they are on the fence or fearful about divorce. Others are viewing separation as a permanent alternative to divorce. And while separation can be a temporary solution to buy time before a permanent decision must be made, we are going to address some of the confusion around the definition of separation in its various forms: trial, in-home, legal and even permanent separation.We also delved into the motivation for separation as an important consideration. Certainly, if reconciliation remains a possibility, separation can be the most affordable and amicable way to discover the feasibility of staying married in a healthy way. It allows you to take small steps toward your ultimate decision whether that is reconciliation or an eventual divorce. Separation will allow for the space to interact without as much constant stress or as many arguments. It should give you the chance to figure out why you haven't been getting along and what you can do about it and to take the steps that ultimately will either revive the marriage or make it clear once and for all that it is irretrievably broken.Others may have considered or even tried separation but have come to realize that divorce is actually a better solution. So for those who have ruled out separation, Katherine and I explored ways to approach divorce. We offered a general overview of these four legal divorce processes:·        DIY·        Collaboration·        Mediation·        Litigation We also discussed one of the principles of the collaborative method which is the concept that a “good” divorce often requires a TEAM approach of varied professionals working well together. This is a concept that in and of itself, I believe, could change divorce as we know it, even in the worlds of mediation and litigation. We encouraged people to look into engaging a divorce coach as order #1 of business. A trained and qualified coach helps you build your team, starting with mindful attorney selection and then as needed connects you with a financial advisor, therapist, and any other professionals that your case's unique nuances may need or benefit from.If you are currently feeling the whole “I think want a divorce! Now what!?” feeling, tune in. You will learn so much. Support the show (https://www.paypal.me/anniejallen)

How does owning a business together during divorce affect the process? Let's chat with Attorney Ryan Kalamaya and make sure you are prepared to cover all your bases if this is your situation. Support the show (https://www.paypal.me/anniejallen)

Join me today in hearing Jennifer's Survivor's Own Story and what she discovered through divorce.Support the show (https://www.paypal.me/anniejallen)

Author Kennedy Bell joins me on the show today to talk about his new book, "Hove with your heart, Divorce with your Brain." This book is all about understanding that what led you TO divorce must not be what leads you THROUGH divorce. Tune in now!Support the show (https://www.paypal.me/anniejallen)

Come here my crazy divorce story, narrated by the incredibly talented Tom Milligan, host of the My Crazy Divorce Podcast.Support the show (https://www.paypal.me/anniejallen)

Last week, we talked about how to pick ONE WORD to set the tone and the goal for your new year. Today, we are going to talk about some ways to give energy and enthusiasm for staying focused, not only on that ONE WORD, but on you, your life, your transition through divorce,  Support the show (https://www.paypal.me/anniejallen)

Are you tired of making New Year's Resolutions that you've forgotten about or given up on by mid-February if not sooner?Have you ever heard of the ONE WORD movement? I started my One Word resolves about five or six years ago. I have chosen words such as Courage, Clarity, Focus, Vision, Trust and Flexibility.And today, I want to do something a little different on the show. I want to share this concept with you and teach you how to adopt it for your own. I will also be sharing stories from a few other people I have met who wanted to share what choosing a ONE WORD has done for them over the years.I am going to let you in on an often-ignored or unacknowledged truth: Change is possible, but it requires not only intention but the right kind of focus. So forget new gym memberships you won't use or the newest extreme fad diets, expensive planners and going into debt buying new Rubbermaid to organize the basement—lets forget entirely about Resolutions. Yes, they are a way to try to focus, but sometimes in a overly simplified way and almost always resolutions are and more importantly, not at all on the root causes or philosophies and character traits that lead us in the directions we go. We don't want to be focused on what we DON'T want but rather on what we do want and what will get us there. Resolutions to lose 20 pounds for example are often based on the type of person we're tired of being rather than who we want to become. And when you “break your resolve” then what? You quit, right? There's no room for the process of growth in a New Years Resolution. On the other hand, One Words are centered on our hope for the year ahead and who we want to become or what we want to achieve, maybe who we believe God wants us to be, and the transformative process of getting there.We need to get at the heart of what needs to be revolutionized deep down within us to inform and give energy to these things we want to see becomes realities in our lives. So its no longer “OK, I have to lose 20 pounds or 40 pounds and I am gonna go to the gym 4 times a week until I do.” Now, it's “What is it that is missing in my life that leads me to make poor food choices or to choose to be sedentary rather than active?” Journaling about the hearts of matters such as this might lead you to a One Word like discipline or health when you realize the issue at the heart of is a lack of discipline or when you think about wanting to make your health a priority so you can enjoy your grandchildren more and for longer. At the heart of the matter, a One Word is like “your why.” Have you ever heard about the importance of defining your why as part of mapping out success in any area of your life? This is why I choose just one word to be my focus for the next twelve months, to help me stay tuned into the “fuel” (the why) that I need for making positive changes that last longer than February.Let's start with one story from my treasure trove of One Words. It was the year 2020. I had chosen FOCUS because there was an overall sense that I had been feeling for a long time of doing too many things and feeling like I couldn't focus, plus it was 20/20… get it? Focus/ 20/20 vision? Ok, so anyway, I started with journaling. If you know me at all, you know this is common practice for me with a lot of things. Work it out on the page. The more I wrote, the more I explored what I wanted to envision for the coming year, and the easier it was to pare it down to a single word.BRAINSTORMAnother method that can be helpful for selecting your One Word is to just start writing possible words. Your One Word is most likely going to be a NOUN or a VERB. Mini grammar lesson: a noun is a subject, a thing, a state or a quality. A verb is an action word, a function, a mood even. So, now just literally brainstorm. SeSupport the show (https://www.paypal.me/anniejallen)