The Parenting Horizons Podcast

Summer's coming up fast, so what's it going to be for your kids? Summer job? Lazing around? Day camp? Sleep-away camp? TikTok and video games 24/7?Even if your options are limited, a plan is always a good idea. Julie and Elizabeth talk about how to include your child in making plans for the summer and how you can help them benefit from the experience.A fulfilling summer doesn't have to cost money, just a little creativity on your part! Thinking outside of the box and avoiding rigidity will allow your children to have a positive growth experience during the summer.For those families that do choose camp, we talk about the best ways to prepare your child for their summer experience and what to do if they absolutely HATE IT!!!!

For many families, the dinner table has become a war zone. Because there are so many emotions tied up in how we feel about food and eating, these feelings can mold your child's relationship with food in ways that we never even suspected.Counselor and parenting expert, Emilie Vogas M.Ed, discusses some of the common issues that come up around food including picky eating, over eating, eating disorders as well as the “rules” that govern how we approach mealtime (sitting at a table vs. in front of the television) or what kind of etiquette we observe (chewing with your mouth closed, etc.)In order to pass on healthy eating habits it's important for parents to examine their own relationship with food. Was it punitive? (“You can't leave the table until you've finished everything on your plate.”) Shaming? (“There are starving children who would give anything to have what's on your plate.”) Privileged? (Throwing a tantrum until mom makes you mac and cheese for the hundredth time.)Ultimately, we want to acknowledge and respect our children's autonomy over their own bodies without becoming a short order cook. It's our job as parents to teach them (and model) how to have a healthy relationship with food and eating.In the podcast we reference some resources you may want to check out.If you are facing food insecurity, we encourage you to look up food assistance programs on your State's website and look at the WIC program website or the Food Assistance website.Table Topics (www.tabletopics.com/products)These are conversation starters for family discussion that help keep you and your kids off of screens at mealtime. For those unable to afford these conversation decks, consult your local library for lists of conversation starters.Emilie Vogas is available for private consultations and workshops:1-646-241-7775emilie@EmilieVogas.comwww.EmilieVogas.com

It's no secret that children develop emotionally, intellectually and physically at different speeds. The part that often gets overlooked, however, is that we as parents are also continually growing and changing. All these transitions going on at the same time can lead to some occasional collisions. But is there a way to make these transitions smoother and create opportunities for connection instead of battlegrounds?Julie and Elizabeth will reveal various techniques that parents can use to stay calm and effective during these family upheavals and how timing our responses increases our ability to teach the lessons we need to teach our children.

In this episode, Elizabeth Cohen and Julie Ross help you determine what feelings disarm you as an individual parent and, in turn, make you less effective in teaching, protecting and supporting your child. They will also give you tools to handle your feelings so that you can be the best parent you can be.Also, Julie Ross opens up about how one four word sentence helped her handle her feelings and gave her the strength to support her own, grown daughter during a traumatic time in her daughter's life.

The world is full of people, especially on social media, telling your kids that they just aren't good enough, that they should just “quit while they're ahead.” But there are ways you can help your kids counter these negative thoughts and replace them a positive view of themselves and their potential. In this episode we talk with “Coach” Kevin Baker, a certified Life Coach for Tweens and Teens about ways parents can help kids get over life limiting beliefs and improve the potential in their lives. We'll talk about how parents sometimes accidentally limit their children's potential and ways to turn that pattern around by replacing communication blocks with curiosity. Using the same instincts that we have with babies we can lean in to what they are interested in and engage in what genuinely excites them . By abandoning your preconceived expectations about what your child “should” be, you'll learn the value of giving up trying to “control” your kid and instead opting for “influence.”

We tend to take speech for granted but some parents become anxious when their infants and toddlers don't hit certain milestones. Realistically, when are these concerns founded and what can parents do to avoid the misinformation and bad advice from the internet?  In this episode we interview a speech-language pathologist Tala Hershey, M.S. CCC-SLP, TSSLD  (https://www.hersheytherapypractice.com/)  who gives us practical advice on how to look for and encourage realistic and appropriate speech milestones. We'll answer the questions: Do we need to explicitly teach toddlers to speak? Isn't it a skill that just develops organically or do parents actually need to focus on building speech and language? What's the difference between Expressive vs. Receptive Language and Pragmatic skills? Finally, we'll address the WORST way to teach our toddlers to talk and whether to “reward” toddlers for saying certain words (and avoiding others.)

When it comes to drug and alcohol use, it's very tempting as parents to put your head in the sand and say "Not my kid” but that strategy never works, even if your kid isn't actively experimenting (yet.) Since the most important component of prevention is education, the first step for parents is to get educated and be honest with yourself. In this episode we'll talk about what you need to know as a parent to effectively communicate your values and concerns to your kids, without them shutting you down. When do kids commonly start experimenting with drugs and alcohol? Should you start having conversations with your kids before then? How do you explain the difference between abstaining vs. postponing? We'll talk about how to navigate denial (both yours and your child's) and what are the pros and cons of using monitoring and tracking apps like Life360. And with so much at stake, when is it okay to allow natural consequences and when should you step in? This episode will give your practical advice on how to navigate this potential minefield, and keep your relationship with your kid intact.

In this episode we talk with author Rebecca Vitsmun about her new book "Eliza Dee's Universes." As an autistic mother with neurodivergent children, Vitsmun was inspired by her personal experiences to provide an accessible story that inspires creative imagination in readers of all ages and backgrounds. You'll not only learn more about autism but also EDS, hyperphantasia and other “invisible” disabilities and how to spot them in your children. And while you shouldn't rush in to diagnose or label your child, an accurate and timely diagnosis can be VERY helpful. We'll also discuss what to do first, before getting your child diagnosed. Kids do well, if they can.  If they aren't doing well, there is something standing in their way. From a practical standpoint that means: Focusing on your child's strengths, not their weaknesses Leaning in with compassionate curiosity instead of pulling back What a shame spiral looks like and how to avoid it Finally, we'll address how to advocate for your child in a school system that may not provide services for neurodiverse children.

Have you ever gotten into an argument with your three year old and wondered “How did it come to this? I'm bigger, stronger, smarter and yet this little tyke has me on the ropes!!!!” Have you tried to set a boundary with your teenager, only to have them“flip the script” and suddenly you're on the defensive. In this special podcast we interview certified hostage and conflict negotiator Karleen Savage M.A., author other “The Confident Teen Blueprint: A Parent's 30 Day Challenge to Empower their Teen.” We'll discuss universal skills for conflict resolution that work with all children of all ages (including adult children!) Some of the techniques include: Embracing Curiosity: How to become an exceptional learner. Master Listening: How to story map, connecting the bullet points and filling in the gaps in the story. “Zippy the Lippy” : Learn when to keep your mouth shut.  Most relational conflict is NOT an emergency. There is a way to avoid getting caught up in the other person's intensity.  Attitude: How can I deescalate this? How can I be present without “fixing” the problem. If you've ever felt like a hostage in your own family, you'll want to listen to this one.

Have you ever gotten into an argument with your three year old and wondered “How did it come to this? I'm bigger, stronger, smarter and yet this little tyke has me on the ropes!!!!” Have you tried to set a boundary with your teenager, only to have them“flip the script” and suddenly you're on the defensive. In this special podcast we interview certified hostage and conflict negotiator Karleen Savage M.A., author other “The Confident Teen Blueprint: A Parent's 30 Day Challenge to Empower their Teen.” We'll discuss universal skills for conflict resolution that work with all children of all ages (including adult children!) Some of the techniques include: Embracing Curiosity: How to become an exceptional learner. Master Listening: How to story map, connecting the bullet points and filling in the gaps in the story. “Zippy the Lippy” : Learn when to keep your mouth shut.  Most relational conflict is NOT an emergency. There is a way to avoid getting caught up in the other person's intensity.  Attitude: How can I deescalate this? How can I be present without “fixing” the problem. If you've ever felt like a hostage in your own family, you'll want to listen to this one.

Even parents of grown children sometimes wake up in a cold sweat reliving the battles in getting their 4 year old to go to sleep. In this episode we tackle head on the thorny but solvable challenge of getting your young child to go to sleep. After listening to this podcast, you'll be primed to make bedtime more effective and relaxing for everybody. Some of the topics we cover are: When is the ideal time to switch your child from a crib to a bed? Common causes that create difficulty falling asleep or middle of the night wakings. How do you handle it if the child is afraid? How much sleep do children this age actually need at night? What is a healthy bedtime routine that promotes sleep? In the end, it's all about taking back parental authority by setting appropriate, respectful, firm boundaries while avoiding some of the common mistakes that parents make that inadvertently cause sleep problems. We'll give you tips on how to set limits and consequences that actually work and give you a realistic time frame about how long to expect before seeing results. Finally, we'll look at the more controversial topics: Do rewards work? And what about the “family bed”?

In this episode we interview clinical psychologist Dr. Elizabeth Cohen clinical about the huge uptick in anxiety and depression in our kids since the pandemic and how CBT is providing a lifeline for many families. Therapists using CBT work with parents to help children and teens identify the specific triggers that lead to their anxiety and ways to develop resilience skills to handle discomfort. We'll talk about things that parents can do, including taking a “fear inventory” and we'll discuss whether medication is helpful or something to be avoided.

“Without enough sleep, we all become tall two-year-olds.” Sleep isn't a luxury, and this is especially true among our tweens and teens. 77% of teens nationwide do not get the minimum number of hours of sleep they need each night (8 hours is the minimum.) And it's no surprise that sleep deprivation leads to short-temperedness, risky behaviors; poor learning; inability to absorb, retain and retrieve new information; drowsy driving and poor mental health.   In this episode we interview Lisa L. Lewis, author of “The Sleep Deprived Teen” who helps us come up with a strategy for helping our kids get they sleep they desperately need. We'll uncover the truth about how a teen's sleep patterns differ from the years prior to and after adolescence and how this Circadian rhythm shift affects them. Finally, we'll give parents tips for how to help your child self-regulate, make sleep a family priority and help overworked and over-scheduled teenagers achieve a balance in their sleep, social life, school work and extracurricular activities

It's okay to not be okay: Self-care vs. that never ending, ever expanding TO DO list Being a parent is A LOT of work and often very stressful. But there's stress and then there's STRESS, and a parent's relationship to that stress can occasionally  dip into unhealthy territory. But if that happens, there are ways to get back into balance and find a healthy way to cope. In today's episode we talk with Meredith Ethington, author of “The Motherload: Surviving the daily grind without losing your ever-loving mind.” We start by debunking the idea that men and women are “wired” differently, and focus instead on how the pressure to conform to societal norms about men and women contribute to the fact that mothers typically bear the majority of the mental, physical and emotional load in families. We offer suggestions as to how mothers can learn to share that load so they don't feel so overwhelmed all of the time. Finally, we talk about how it's okay to not be okay. The mental load placed on mothers can sometimes lead to mental health issues and it's important to talk about this. Destigmatizing mental health issues is critical and parents of all genders (partnered or not) do not need to feel shame about needing help. (And don't necessarily have to spend money to get that help.)

It's a fact of life; at some point in their life, your kid is going to get knocked down by circumstances out of their control. But as uncomfortable as that truth may be, there are concrete steps you can take as a parent to foster resilience in your kid, the kind of grit that allows them to get up, dust off and get back on the horse. In this episode we interview Kate Lund, the author of “Bounce: Help Your Child Build Resilience and Thrive In School, Sports and Life” We'll identify the pillars of resilience and ways to help your kid identify and build upon the tools to reduce stress and increase confidence, even in the face of setbacks and disappointment. Finally, we'll talk about ways you can model resilience for your kid and how both your child (and you!) can learn to tolerate discomfort.

It's going to happen sooner or later; you catch your kid in a lie. But what do you do? Is it a teachable moment or a warning sign? In this episode we talk with Colleen Doyle Bryant (https://colleendoylebryant.com), the author the book “Rooted in Decency: Finding Inner Peace In A World Gone Sideways.” We'll tackle the big questions: Why do kids lie? What are the 4 myths that parents buy into that cause kids to lie MORE? What's the difference between calling kids out on a lie vs. punishing them for a lie? And what's the difference between punishment and consequence? Finally, we'll unpack why shame never works and we'll reveal the single most effective phrase to help your child become a good person.

Technology is not a “one size fits all” proposition. Children's developing brains process digital media differently at different stages. The challenge for parents is how to embrace their role as “gate keeper” for younger children and then how to navigate into the role of “support system” as they get older. In today's episode we talk with Dr. Katie Davis, (https://katiedavisresearch.com) psychologist and author of “Technology's Child: Digital Media's Role in the Ages and Stages of Growing Up” We'll discuss an effective two-step decision tool that will help you provide support across the full arc of your child's development, from toddlers to young adults. We'll also talk about some of the fears that parents have today that technology can interfere with and disrupt an otherwise healthy attachment between parent and child and how to keep the lines of communication open to find out what your child is experiencing online (hint: no interrogation!)

In even the most sex positive families, talking particularly about pornography can be tricky at best. In this episode we continue our conversation with Amy Lang (BirdsAndBeesAndKids.com), about how to talk to your children about this complicated subject. It's important for parents to acknowledge that in today's culture, it is unrealistic to assume your children will never see pornography. The average age at which most children are exposed to porn is 9 years.  In fact even 7-8 year olds have also probably seen it, but just aren't talking about it. As uncomfortable as these statistics may be, it does no good to stick your head in the sand. The only way to deal with it is to develop a relationship based on honest communication. If you haven't already, you need to start talking to them about sex and sexuality so that they will talk to you about it. We'll discuss ways to talk to little kids about it, as well as tweens and teens. We'll also provide other resources including book recommendations, what to do if you discover your child is watching porn and how to monitor and filter for porn on your child's devices.

Birds and bees. We all know what that stands for but why are we being so squeamish? In this episode we talk about talking about sex. Our guest today is parenting educator Amy Lang (www.birdsandbeesandkids.com) who walks us through how parents can overcome their reluctance to talk openly with their kids about sex and sexuality. Some of the topics we cover are: What's the biggest mistake parents make in talking to their kids about sex? At what age should parents begin the discussion? What myths should parents stop buying into? What to do when your kid doesn't want to talk about it? We'll also talk about some terms you may have already heard about: Non-binary, Queer, Cis-gender, Pansexual, Asexual, Bisexual and how do we handle all of this? Finally, we begin the uncomfortable conversation about pornography and what parents can do and say to their kids about it. (This is the first part of this important discussion. Be sure to subscribe to our podcast so you'll know when the second part drops.)

It may be hard to believe when you watch your one year old eat paste, but the truth is that each of these little beings comes into the world with so much competence. The ultimate challenge for parents is to trust them, to let them explore the world, to get out of their way and watch them unfold. But what does “getting out of their way” look like? Our guest today is trauma psychologist and best selling author Dr. L. Carol Scott Ph.D. (www.lcarolscott.com), who explains how current research suggests that by age 7 children have already established the relationship strategies they will take with them into adulthood. We'll discuss what are the most significant “can't miss” strategies for helping kids develop healthy relationships. We'll also discuss whether parents should be worried that it's too late and that they've ruined their children (spoiler alert: Don't worry. You haven't ruined your children!) P.S. Email Dr. Scott (carol@lcarolscott.com) and receive a free summary of the techniques for encouraging self-awareness that we talk about in this episode.

One of the more surprising things about being a parent is that we often wind up taking a hard look at our own parents. Most of the time we uncover the unremarkable truth that our parents were just ordinary, flawed people who loved us dearly and did their very best to raise us. But sometimes we discover a darker truth: that one of our parents may have struggled with something more serious and that in turn we, as children, may have experienced real trauma at their hands. In this episode we welcome as our guest psychologist Dr. Stephanie Kriesberg, (www.drstephaniekriesberg.com) who specializes in toxic relationships and anxiety disorders and is the author of the book, Adult Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers: Quiet the Critical Voice in Your Head, Heal Self-Doubt, and Live the Life You Deserve. If you had/have a narcissistic parent, or just experienced a difficult parent, you can learn skills to break the cycle and not repeat the experiences with your own children. We'll discuss what exactly is narcissism, how children are affected by this behavior, and how to quiet the relentless self-criticism that often afflicts children of narcissistic parents.

The term “mindfulness” sometimes conjures visions of sitting in a lotus position and becoming one with the universe, to which most parents roll their eyes and think “Sure, my kid can't find their homework, the dog threw up, the school bus is honking, I just burned breakfast, I'm late for work and you're telling me to take time to find my inner peace!” Ironically, many stress relieving techniques backfire because they just add one more item to an already bursting to-do list. But mindfulness is much more accessible than we've been led to think. Our guest today is Shonda Moralis (www.shondamoralis.net), psychotherapist and author of Don't Forget to Breathe: 5-Minute Mindfulness for Busy Women. We'll be talking about effective ways to deal with the mental load of being a parent and how a simple five minute break can actually give you more time in your packed and stressful day

In this wide ranging (and NSFW!) interview we talk with Dr. J.J. Kelly (www.drjjkelly.com), known as the “Punk Therapist”, about raising resilient and emotionally intelligent children. Today's social media saturated landscape pushes several myths that hurt our children. Toxic positivity, relentless comparison, unquestioned patriarchy and a culture that routinely represses uncomfortable feelings all contribute to epidemic levels of stress and anxiety in our young people today. We'll talk about the benefits of DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy), how to expose our “gremlins” and what are the warning signs that it may be time to step in and reach out to a therapist.

Today we're discussing how to deal with your child's growing sexual agency, and how to discuss consent and bodily autonomy without breaking out in a cold sweat (most of the time.) Our guest is Dr. Laura McGuire (they/them, https://drlauramcguire.com/about.html) trauma-informed expert, activist and author of the new book, The Sexual Misconduct Prevention Guidebook, (https://www.amazon.com/dp/173794393X) who is sharing how parents can have this important conversation including key takeaways vital for any young adult. So what exactly IS consent? And while most agree that we should talk to our kids about consent, few stop to think about “why”. The bottom line is we're giving our kids a life skill, not just a life line. The skills we teach about consent and boundaries are for a lifetime, not just until they get out of high school or college. Despite a parent's predictable anxiety, we want to be careful to avoid creating a climate of fear when talking about consent. To that end we'll talk about that sometimes heart stopping process as your “sweet little baby” begins to assert their sexual agency. And we'll discuss practical ways parents can find the balance between two seemingly irreconcilable forces: how do I keep my kids safe and still give them bodily autonomy and confidence.

The college application process is a multi-billion dollar industry that profits from fear, uncertainty and doubt. But there are ways to take back control of the process, or at the very least take the anxiety and stress out of it. Our guest today is Tracy Schaffzin, a guidance counselor at The Clinton School in New York City. We'll discuss ways to determine if college is even right for your child and if so, how to navigate the sometimes oversized feelings that go with finding the right fit. We'll offer techniques for dealing with your child's feelings about the process, from calming the overachiever to motivating the apathetic teenager. You'll hear about effective search strategies that keep your kid's self-worth intact and avoid falling into the trap of wanting to only go to high profile “name” schools.

Studies say that 1 in 3 kids between the ages of 13 and 18 will experience a diagnosable anxiety disorder. Moreover, diagnosed anxiety and depression in children 3 - 17 years old has risen significantly in the past 5 years. So what's the difference between “normal” anxiety and an “anxiety disorder”? And what can parents do? When there's “normal” anxiety, how do you validate the anxiety without communicating that there is actually something to be anxious about. In this episode we'll discuss breaking the stigma of mental health issues and give parents some solid techniques to stay in dialogue with your child, remaining open, curious and non-judgmental. We'll talk about what it means to become an emotional mirror and how to talk to your kids about how they can reduce “mental load” to alleviate anxiety. We'll also tackle the sometimes difficult decision about medication.

Some people pride themselves on being “color-blind” when it comes to race, but actually there's no such thing. In fact, studies show that kids are already noticing race by the age of 3 months and are making race based decisions shortly after. Our brains are wired to see race, so although it can be a sensitive subject, it's important to take our heads out the sand and talk about it with our kids. In this episode we welcome Deanna Singh, an expert in DEI and the author of the book “Actions Speak Louder.” You'll hear about the many ways to discuss diversity, equity and inclusion with your kids in a positive and constructive way while avoiding preaching or shaming.

Money is an uncomfortable, emotionally charged topic for a lot of parents. In this episode, we discuss how to overcome this last taboo with Anthony Delauney, a financial planner and author of the new book, “Dash and Nikki and the Jellybean Game.” You'll get practical advice on such sensitive topics as: At what age should you start teaching your kids about money. Spend, save and give jars — what are they and what is their value? Should you even give an allowance and if so, should you tie allowance to chores? Credit / Debit cards — yes or no for tweens and teens? And what do you do when your kid wants to spend their money on something you don't agree with? You'll hear solid tips on how to keep power struggles out of money issues by focusing on some key principles: Patience, Collaboration, Compassion, Finding Win-win solutions

As of 2020, guns are the leading cause of death among children in the United States. This horrific fact has placed American families in a no-win situation: how and when to talk about it with your kids. In this episode we discuss how and when to talk to your kids about the epidemic of gun violence. Feelings of anger and despair are prevalent so you can assume your child has heard something, or at the very least, has picked up on feelings. Like many sensitive subjects, the rules remain the same: Open and keep open the door to communication. Keep it simple. Keep it truthful. Only answer the questions that you've been asked. Since emotions about this topic obviously run high, it's okay to show your feelings in moderation as long as you model recovery as well. You don't want your children feeling like they have to comfort you. Finally, we suggest donating to organizations dedicated to countering gun violence like SandyHookPromise.org or Everytown.org

Emotions can run high if a marriage ends in divorce, but when there are children involved, the stakes become even higher. In this episode we'll be talking with Andy Heller, author of the new book “Take the High Road: Divorce with Compassion for
Yourself and Your Family” Andy brings to the discussion some great insights on how to re-frame divorce and the importance of bringing a business strategy to the divorce, not so that you “beat the competition”, but so that you can create a stable environment for your kids. Divorce is a marathon, not a sprint, and just like a marathon, “winging it” is not an option. Focus on the long term: what will this all look like several years from now? Remember, kids see everything and they will remember whether you treated your ex with compassion or revenge.

In this episode we interview Dr. Robyne Hanley-Dafoe (https://www.robynehd.ca), the author of “Calm Within The Storm: A Pathway to Everyday Resiliency.” Many parents wonder why some kids “get up” while other just “give up.” Is the ability to pick yourself and dust yourself off a matter of temperament or can it be learned? And what is resiliency? Is it about “sucking it up” or is it something else entirely? You'll also learn how we can help our children deal with their big emotions by supporting them as opposed to rescuing them.

Your kids are your greatest treasure AND they sometimes drive you to the brink. It's perfectly normal for parents to feel all kinds of uncomfortable emotions about your kids (frustration, fear, anger) and it's often tempting to vent these feelings by blowing our lids. But while this may feel good in the moment, it almost always backfires. In this episode we look at some of our favorite techniques to use instead of blowing up. And we promise you won't even need to be an enlightened Zen master to take advantage of these strategies for becoming a calmer, more effective parent.

Are The Kids Still Alright? We're seeing increased anxiety and depression in kids these days in the wake of so many events that are simply out of our control. The long tail of the pandemic, climate change, the war in Ukraine, just to name a few, are causing children and parents alike to despair. So what can we do in the face of wave after wave of seemingly overwhelming crises. In this episode we continue our conversation with Dr. Barbara Nusbaum, a psychologist who specializes in working with children and young adults. Together we offer strategies for combating helplessness and despair. You'll discover ways to create (or re-create) community so you and your kids don't feel so isolated and alone. We'll discuss how to talk to your children about things that are outside of our sphere of influence: Keep it simple, honest and at their developmental level. Finally, if you find the events and stressors that we're all going through are too painful to bear and thoughts of self harm emerge, we urge you to contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.

Do's and Dont's Around Food In this episode, we continue our discussion with Amy Bernsten (www.ABodyOfBeing.com) about countering some of the forces that foster eating disorders among children. We offer concrete ways to de-escalate some of the more common battles around food and eating. Tuning in to your kid is key, and not just about food and body image. These are often symptoms of something else that is going on.

Food. At its most basic, we need it to live. But it can also be a source of pleasure and community. Unfortunately, our society benefits from propagating shame around food, eating and weight and this can result in parents passing on and projecting their own issues around food to their children. In this episode, we speak with Amy Bernstein (www.ABodyOfBeing.com), a clinical social worker and therapist who is an expert on children and body image issues. We'll talk about countering the Instagram culture's obsession with idealized and unrealistic body images and offer practical advice on how (or whether) to talk to your child about their weight and how they eat.

In this episode, we start the new year by revisiting some of Julie's core principles and techniques. Communication 101 Refresher: Respectful communication is the best conflict resolution tool. We'll talk about real techniques you can implement to open up healthy dialogue with your kids (even when they are getting on your last nerve.) Listening: Listening is the purest act of love that regenerates and recreates both the speaker and the listener. We'll talk about what that means and how to listen to your children more effectively. (Hint: They often speak in code!) For households where there are two or more caregivers, we discuss power dynamics and the difference between a healthy family triangle vs a “triangulation trap.” Are there any pitfalls when adopting a “good cop, bad cop” approach to discipline and setting limits? And how do you create a united front when parents or caregivers disagree?

In this holiday themed episode we talk about the value in preserving the magic in some of our cherished myths and fantasies: Santa, the tooth fairy, the Easter bunny and more! But of course this opens up a deeper discussion: What's the difference between something that's a secret, something that's private and something that's just an outright lie? Parents are often at a loss about how to handle difficult topics like job loss, divorce, finances, sex, drugs, mental illness and sometimes resort to “fictions” when explaining these things to their kids. We'll give you tips on how to be truthful with your kids on the stuff that really matters and show you a technique we call “Ballparking The Truth”: keep it simple, keep it truthful, only answer what you've been asked.

The holidays are upon us and with them comes a whole host of expectations, some realistic and some…not. Emotions (positive and negative) run high at the holidays but there are ways to manage expectations, handle the “greedy gimmies” and keep your values at the center of whatever holiday you celebrate. We'll look at the persistent but unattainable ideal of the “Norman Rockwell” family gathering, how it unfortunately sets many families up for failure, and what you can replace it with instead.

DON'T PANIC! Myths and Fears When Your Child Comes Out As LGBTQ+ If your child comes out as LGBTQ+ many parents must confront head on a host of widespread but patently false myths about what it means when a young person identifies on the LGBTQ+ spectrum. In this episode, we'll expose the myths and falsehoods surrounding coming out and shine light on the irrational fears these myths may provoke in parents.

My child just came out as LGBTQ+ to me. What does that mean and what do I do? Even in the most accepting and loving families, coming out is never easy for the child. If your child trusts you enough to come out, it's extremely important that you don't let them down. So how do you do that? In this episode we bust some of the misconceptions surrounding the spectrum of gender and sexuality, and the best ways to support your child or young adult when they come out. From gender identity to preferred pronouns, your child knows themselves better than you do even if they don't yet have the language to describe it. The key is to respect and trust your child even if you don't quite understand. Be patient with yourself. Understanding will come in time and will result in a stronger, healthier relationship with your child.

As our children return to school, parents and children alike are facing an entirely new, and potentially frightening, landscape. In this episode, we lay out a strategy for dealing with the six to eight week transition period that almost all kids and parents must travel through as we adjust to a new school year. Even if your kids love school, there will be ups and downs during this transition period. Patience and empathy are your keys to getting through this roller coaster ride. We'll discuss how to put patience and empathy into action and especially, how to be kind to yourself as we all wait for the dust to settle.

In this episode our guest is psychologist Dr. Barbara Nussbaum, who has written extensively on the topic of resiliency. We'll discuss the hidden (and not so hidden) effect that the pandemic has had on our children and how we, as parents, can model resiliency. It can be hard, if not extremely painful, to see our children in pain or discomfort. We may want to ignore it, or pretend that they're not as affected by the pandemic as they clearly are. But as our children navigate reentering school, trying to rebuild social connections, we as parents have a responsibility to acknowledge their pain, even if we don't have a ready solution. Resiliency can't be “developed” the way many other character traits can be. Resiliency is only built through actual adversity. We'll discuss ways parents can calm their own anxiety about the difficulties the new future holds and encourage our children to own their fears instead of their fears owning them.

Mature, rational conflict resolution isn't in vogue much these days (have you seen an episode of "Real Housewives" lately?) When siblings fight, parents are tempted to either bury their heads in the sand and try to ignore it, or to play judge, jury and executioner, usually meting out arbitrary punishment to whomever they think is the "guilty" party. But what if there was a third way? The truth is, sibling arguments give parents a unique opportunity to role model ways to address conflict in healthy, constructive ways. In this episode we examine how to teach our children how to handle conflict in an effective and healthy way and leave the drama out of it.

“Siblings are our partners and rivals, our first friends and our first enemies.” In this episode we discuss Sibling Rivalry, the destroyer of many otherwise calm and peaceful family gatherings. When your kids start to argue with each other it can be very tempting to jump in and “fix” it. However, becoming judge, jury and executioner is a trap when it comes to resolving conflicts between your kids. But you also can't just walk away, especially if the conflict escalates into abuse or a child is explicitly asking for help. We'll point out some common pitfalls and techniques to avoid them. We'll also show you how to turn sibling rivalry into an opportunity teach effective conflict resolution, an extremely valuable skillset they will use their entire life.

Neurological variations are a vital part of humanity, as much as variations in size, shape, skin color and personality. None of us has the right (or the wisdom) to try and improve upon our species by deciding which characteristics to keep and which to discard. Every person is valuable. In today's episode we welcome Emilie Vogas, M.Ed and Board Certified Behavioral Analyst, to discuss parenting neurodiverse children, whether they are on the autism spectrum, have Downs syndrome, dyslexia, ADHD or any of a wide range of normally occurring differences. The most important take away is that neurodiversity is NOT an illness to be “cured.” All children, neurotypical and neurodiverse alike, speak and behave in a sort of “code” and it's up to parents to learn to translate what it is their kids are trying to communicate. We'll give you tips and inspiration on improving your translation skills, what that looks and sounds like, and we offer a glimpse of a future where all children are valued for their unique gifts and given appropriate support IF they need it.

Alright, now that we have your attention… In this episode we're going to cut through all the mixed messages our culture sends out about sex and focus on giving parents practical advice on how to have an open dialogue with your kids about sex and gender. We'll focus on the three fundamentals: 1) Tell the facts. 2) Reassure your kids (and maybe yourself) that sexual desire is normal no matter who you're attracted to. 3) Learn to articulate your values but leave room for their different opinions: the ultimate desire is to keep them safe and healthy. And remember, to relieve the awkwardness and pressure that can accompany this topic, avoid having “the big talk.” Instead, opt for an ongoing series of developmentally appropriate talks that evolve as your children grow up. We'll show you what that looks like and how to do it.

Money. You can save it, spend it, invest it, lose it, hate it, love it, give it away and horde it. And it's our responsibility as parents to teach our kids about it in a healthy way. Allowances are probably the most popular way to introduce your kids to the surprisingly complicated concept of money. But just throwing money at your kids without talking about the power and responsibility behind money does everyone a disservice. Join us as we dive in to allowances. At what age should you start? What are the best ways to set your kids up for success with lessons that last a lifetime? And what does a healthy relationship with money even look like?

I get more calls about sleep and bedtime challenges than practically any other topic. Whether you have a two year old who just won't go to sleep at night, a five year old that want's "just one more glass of water," or a teen that sleeps until 2 in the afternoon, we've got practical advice on how to handle it.

Imagine you're in a heated argument with your partner (or child). If your goal is to “win at all costs”, you may win the battle, but at what cost to your relationship? In this episode, we talk more about “the box step of communication”, a proven way to handle thorny disputes and de-escalate conflict. We also look at one of the most toxic ingredients capable of undermining and destroying your family: Secrets.

If you are raising a child with a partner (together or divorced) you will never be able to entirely avoid conflicts. Flying by the seat of your pants is going to happen from time to time. But there are ways to approach conflict that is constructive as opposed to being combative. And it's important to remember; your kids will eventually model some of your conflict resolution behavior when they grow up and form their own intimate relationships. In this episode, we discuss self care for the couple. Even though raising children feels all encompassing, the primary bond must remain with your partner, so that when your kids inevitably launch into adulthood, you'll still remember what attracted you to your partner in the first place.

Family Meetings. They're not just for emergencies anymore. If you roll your eyes at the thought of holding a “family meeting”, this episode is for you. Family meetings are a simple but powerful way to counter the outsized influence of social media and peers on your kids. If you set them up right, family meetings can truly transform a family, but there are definitely some traps and pitfalls to avoid. Julie walks through what an effective family meeting looks like (and just as important, what they aren't) and how to get buy-in from wary family members who may be suspicious that they're really just an excuse for the parents to yell at a captive audience.