Podcasts about Thanks for Nothing

This week, the whole crew is back together to check back in on our Fantasy Critic League! Except THIS TIME, we are bringing in various badges (with a b) to give out to games we drafted, and maybe some that we didn't. Enjoy! ALSO, we are Twitch Affiliates now, so subscribing to our Twitch channel will really help us out to support the podcast!  Timecodes  Called It! - 11:56 Fumblerooski - 19:42 Save Me Daddy - 35:27 Thanks For Nothing - 48:23 Gimme That - 55:53 DTF - 1:03:29   Twitter @spotgamespod YouTube, IG, Threads and TikTok @spotlightgamespod  Twitch.tv/spotlightgamespod  Join our discord! https://discord.gg/Vxvp2sX64Z  Email the show: mail@spotlightgames.net RSS Feed: https://spotlightgames.libsyn.com/rss We don't own the rights to any music featured in this episode! Thanks for listening!

UFC 305 is in the books and on today's show, I think we should discuss it. On this episode, I debate whether Dricus Du Plessis is a psychopath, and I also outline the three things that need to happen for Israel Adesanya to consider fighting again. Then, I have some strong words for DDP and his team, and I also tell you why I believe Du Plessis and Alex Pereira will never fight each other. And to round out the show, I tell you why Dan Hooker should chase a BMF title fight rather than one with Conor McGregor.The following time codes are approximate:DDP is a psychopath (00:00)DDP's team failed me (12:10)Pereira's callout of DDP (20:54)Dan Hooker for BMF (32:09)Gordon Ryan's terrible performance at ADCC (39:21)To support this fine program, you can leave me a review on Apple Podcasts or submit a rating on my Spotify page. Our Sponsors:* Check out Mint Mobile: mintmobile.com/chael* Check out Shopify: shopify.com/chaelAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Gary gave us hope for Tiger Woods at the British Open and Tiger had other ideas.

Why does MLB not want anybody to watch its games?

My girlfriend and her sister play dueling practical jokes on me. By TruthWithaTwist. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. I was midway through my first year of Graduate school, getting my MBA, when my girlfriend, Tara, asked if I wanted to drive to her family's house a few hours away for the weekend. It was her Mother and Step-Father's 20th wedding party and I jumped at the chance to get away from campus for a few days. The party was scheduled for April 2nd, but their actual anniversary was April 1st, which was a running joke in the family. The chance to get away sounded great and I knew that Tara and I would always find ways to entertain ourselves on long car rides.I had started dating Tara at the beginning of the year, upon arriving at school. Tara was 3 years older than me at 28 years old. She had high cheekbones, silken brown hair and brown eyes that were expressive and sultry. She was the type of woman who could get you instantly hard with a smirk and sparkle from those eyes. Her body was amazing. Perfect tear-drop C-cup breasts, toned stomach and an ass that was just full enough to fill out the best pair of jeans. Within weeks of meeting, Tara and I became the “couple” in our friend group. Privately, we were a typical sex-focused young couple. Fortunately, we were both fairly adventurous and were willing to stretch the limits of our sexual fun. On Halloween, we found ourselves on the roof of my apartment building having sex dressed at Batman and Catwoman. One day, we decided to slink into the small town's only Adult Store where we bought a selection of toys to share, from handcuffs to vibrators to anal toys. After losing a bet on an Auburn/Alabama game on a Saturday, Tara found herself tied naked to the couch in my apartment for the duration of Sunday's Bears game as I alternated between watching the game and using her as I pleased. So, the idea of a road trip, even to her parents' house, was always a promising scenario. We didn't have classes on Friday so were on the road just after noon. It would take about 5 hours to drive to her house, so we filled my Jeep Cherokee with our bags and hit the road. I had met her parents before but it would be the first time I was meeting her younger sister, as well as her twin step-brother and step-sister. I was hearing that we were going to be doing some family-stuff on Saturday (visiting grandma, picking up stuff for the party, etc.) and then they were hosting an “anniversary brunch” at the house on Sunday. Since we both knew there would be no opportunity for frolicking while in her parents' house, Tara and I planned on heading out Sunday afternoon and stopping for the night somewhere along the way since we had no classes until Monday afternoon. Tara dozed off right out of town and started stirring after an hour or so of sleep. She was floating in and out of sleep, adjusting herself in the seat and staring out the window. I was focused on the road when I heard her mumble, “Oooh. Check that out” while looking out the window. Looking over, I saw her gesturing toward a billboard for the regions “Most Romantic Resort”. “Hot tubs! Private Cabins! Fireplaces” were all highlighted on the billboard. There was a picture of a couple cuddling in front of a fireplace to complete the obvious vibe they were going for. Tara grabbed a pen and scribbled down the phone number on a scrap of paper she found. She then grabbed my phone and called the property. I could only hear one side of the conversation where she was asking if there were rooms available, what types, how much and all those details. At one point, she reached into her purse, took out a credit card and read the number to the person she was talking to. After she hung up, she gave me an update. “So cool! They have cabins for Sunday night! The rate includes a dinner package in their restaurant; and listen about our room! It's a private cabin and it has an all-season hot tub, fireplace and she sold me on the ‘Romance Package' whatever THAT is” she laughed. “Well, I guess we're staying there, huh?” I chuckled back. “Of course! How can we pass up a cheesy romantic cabin in the hills, with dinner AND a romance package!” “So what the hell is in the Romance Package?” “I have no idea. The girl on the phone asked if we ‘would be interested in the Romance Package for an extra $35' what was I gonna say? No? Besides, it'll be fun. If we can get out of my parents' place by 4ish on Sunday, we could get there, have dinner, grab some drinks and then have fun in our cabin!” “But I still want to know what's in the romance package” I pressed, again. “Seriously? That's your big question? I have no idea. But it's a romantic resort we've never heard of, in the middle of nowhere - so I'm betting it's some of that kind of stuff from Spencer's Gifts. Y'know, flavored massage oil, blindfold, fake rose petals!” She started laughing at the expected lameness of the package. “Call back. Maybe there's a deluxe romance upgrade!” I laughed back, “See if we can get the handcuffs, vibrator, lube and a goat for $20 more!” I got a solid punch in the arm in addition to her response, “What the fuck is wrong with you? Of course you'd want that kind of stuff. Is that what you want? Me tied up in a remote cabin with a bunch of toys and a goat?” “I mean, besides the goat…..” I started, which earned me another punch in the arm. We settled back into the drive and were quiet for a few more minutes. When I looked over, I saw that Tara was definitely getting “fidgety” in her seat. 'You ok?“ I asked. “Um….I hate to actually admit this to you, but the thought of the cabin, you talking about tying me up, I'm actually getting wet.” Tara was slowly rubbing her thighs together, trying to build some friction. Her eyes were closed and her right hand was starting to rub her breast and nipple through her shirt. The subtle motions continued until she finally exclaimed, “Fuck….now I'm horny as shit.” She unbuckled her seatbelt and unbuttoned her jeans. Lifting her hips up off the seat, she slid her jeans and black panties down over her hips. Her pussy was now in clear view, she was mostly shaved, with a small landing strip. She settled back into her seat and thrust two of her fingers into her mouth. I watched as she got her index and middle finger nice and wet. With her eyes closed, she moved her hand down to her pussy and began to stroke up and down her lips. A moan escaped her as her fingers danced up and down, spreading her moisture over her most intimate area. She used her other hand to spread herself open as she started to flutter a finger on her clit. I had seen her masterbate enough to know this was her favorite approach to orgasm. A finger, vibrator or tongue flicking and dancing directly on her clit while having something penetrate her was a guaranteed path to a climax for her. As much as I wanted to reach over and touch her myself, I was struggling with a bunch of things, from watching the erotic scene next to me, to the constraints of my tightening jeans, to staying focused on the road. As I tried to watch her without getting us killed, I simply asked, “What are thinking about, babe?” “I just want to cum. I want you buried inside me, fucking me. I want you to bend me over, take me and fuck me hard.” I could tell Tara was getting close to coming, because she had this habit of getting red and flushed all across her chest when she came. When orgasms were especially intense, the splotches would extend all up her neck and into her cheeks. It was the tell-tale sign of a major Tara orgasm. Her hand picked up speed as I tried to push her over the edge. “Yeah? You looking forward to a good fuck? But what about your ass? You know how much I love your ass. Just think, when we have our cabin, I'll get my dick nice and wet in your pussy… I'll grab your ankles push them back so you are spread wide open.” Her hand was a blur at this point, she had worked two fingers from her other hand into her pussy while she continued the assault on her clit. “Uh….yeah….tell me….make me cum” she moaned. “I'll work that hard, lubed cock into your ass. Not thrusting yet. Just slowly pressing harder as I slide further into your hole.” “More…. almost there.” I reached down and adjusted my cock which was now uncomfortably wedged in some terrible trifecta of boxers, denim and seatbelt. I told her the rest of my plan. “I could reach over, pick up the vibrator and push it into your pussy, babe. When I turn it on, you'll feel me slamming into your ass, while the vibrator fills your pussy up. You'll feel me through the walls of your pussy pressing up against the toy, making us into one big vibe. Buzzing, thrusting, filling you up until you explode your hot juices all over the….” “Argh; Uhg; Uhg”. Tara's entire body clenched, spasmed, and shook for a moment. Her fingers kept dancing on her clit, but were slowing down as she recaptured her breath. She reached out and started to grab her breast before realizing that her hand was still covered in fluids. She flopped back in her seat, her chest and neck covered in bright red splotches, her legs still spread, gasping for air. For a minute, she looked like she had passed out, but slowly she got her breath and pulse back to normal. She said, “Fuck, dude. I'm going to show up at my parents house reeking of sex. We have to stop somewhere so I can clean up.” “Really? Not my fault. You started it with the whole hot tub, romance package thing. Consider this punishment for banishing me to the guest room for next 2 nights.” “I'm serious. Pull over when we can so I can get cleaned up.” She then added with a smirk, “And enjoy those blue balls that are gonna kick in REAL soon, smart ass. Maybe that will be my April Fools gift to you! Keep you hard all weekend, but not let you have any sort of release?” We did end up stopping at a rest plaza so Tara could get herself together. I stretched out for the last hour of the drive, trying to ignore the growing discomfort from my lack of personal release and hoping that Tara's didn't go through with her idea of a “fun” April Fools joke. When we finally pulled into the house, it was your typical suburban home. The family all came out to greet us. Henry and Lois, Tara's parents were the first ones out. They looked like two, normal American parents. Henry had a salt and pepper beard, and was a bit taller and heavier than me. Lois had a definite resemblance to Tara, but was shorter, stouter and jovial. In all honesty, I could 100% see them both using some white hair spray, padding and putting on costumes and being Mr. & Mrs. Claus at the local church or Christmas parade. I had met them before, so I was greeted with hugs and warm welcomes. Next up were Tara's much younger twin half-siblings, Josh and Denise. They looked to be at the start of their awkward teenage years with graphic t-shirts and overall disinterested looks on their faces. We worked our way into the house with our bags. Lois started, “Tara, your room is all set. Jason, we have a guest room upstairs next to Lindsay's room for you.” That's when we heard a voice from upstairs. “Hey bee otch. What's up?” I looked up and did a double take. I had seen pictures of Tara's younger sister Lindsay, but they were older pictures – from family vacations at Disney and the like. The young woman coming down the stairs instantly let me know what Tara looked like 8 years earlier. They could have been twins. Same hair, same eyes, same smile. Worse for me, she had the same body as Tara – just a bit firmer and younger. I could tell because Lindsay was dressed in a half-shirt showing her school logo and a pair of gray sweats emblazoned with PINK down the leg. Tara and Linsday hugged, while Lois hung her head with a voice only a mother can generate, “Really Lindsay? You couldn't have put on something other than what you sleep in to greet them?” “I did! I put on a bra!” laughed Lindsay as she purposely jumped up and down a bit. “Lindsay! Go get changed! We're going to Alfredo's for dinner. Now!” Henry's voice had that “father” tone that left no room for debate. We all separated to our rooms. Tara's was at the top of the stairs, then the twins rooms on each side of the hallway, then a bathroom, then Lindsay's whose room was next to mine in the corner. Henry & Lois had their room on the main floor down the hall from the kitchen where we walked in. We all went to dinner, got home, watched TV, and people slowly began drifting off to their rooms. I was tired from driving, so I went up and got settled in. I could hear people shuffling around as read a book in bed. In the room next door, I could hear Tara and Lindsey chatting and laughing as I dozed off. Saturday came and it was a cool, damp day. We all came down for breakfast and Tara and I maintained that awkward, “showing affection, but not being gross or inappropriate” you do around parents. We all had our list of errands to do that day. I was picking up booze for the party, plus some tables and linens since I had an SUV. Henry and Josh helped with some of it and we made multiple trips back and forth to stores all day long. Tara helped Lois pick up her dress and went to visit her grandma. For dinner, pizza and salads were ordered for the house and we all just went over the plan for the next day. Caterers were coming at 10 with the food, they were going to prep, cook and serve for when the party started at noon. Tara and Lindsay were going to help Lois get ready (they were renewing their vows to start the festivities) while Josh & Denise were told to get dressed and keep the house neat. After dinner, Tara asked if I wanted to go to the local pub. It was your typical local bar with beers, basic pub food and all locals. “Can I come too?” said Lindsay. There were some strange looks around the table until Lois said, “I think you have to be 21 on weekends.” “Not if you sit at a table at the bar, not the bar, itself. There are kids in there all the time.” Rebutted Lindsay. “Besides, if I go, I can drive home so you two can drink!” Tara jumped in, “Mom. Don't worry about it – I never get to see my sister, she can come along. Let's all get changed and go in 30.” With that, we cleaned up, freshened up, and went out to my car. As soon as we got in the car, the sisters starting giggling. Tara turned and looked at her sister in the back seat, “Ok to eat at the table. You are unreal!” “It's true….. technically!” Lindsay retorted. “OK, but since you're visiting from Connecticut, wouldn't you rather sit at the bar with the grown ups?” They then degenerated into torrents of laughter. “Ok”, I asked. “What am I missing?” Tara finally smartened me up, “Linds has a fake ID. Literally everyone knows about it ….. except Dad. Since he serves on the college faculty, we don't want him to have to lie, so we keep it from him. But yeah literally everyone else knows. Mom, me, the bartenders, everyone knows that "Becky” here just turned 20.“ Lindsay chimed in with, "I mean, I literally went to school with half the people that work there. The fact that they all know to call me Becky is Ah-mah-zing!” The bar was less than 10 minutes away, so we got there quickly and settled in at the bar. The whole night was a ton of fun. Tara and Lindsay…er…Becky….knew everyone. We drank Rolling Rock by the bucketful. Every time you turned around, someone else was buying a bucket of beers to share or a round of shots. The girls and I had migrated to a high-top table in the corner and the booze was definitely kicking in. When I ordered a couple of cokes in a row, Lindsay delicately asked, “Dude. What the fuck?” “Well, I figured you're not going to be in any shape to drive, so I figured I better stop now.” “HA! Why do you think we came up with that plan? It's only a 10 minute walk home if we cut through the high school grounds. We're gonna tell Dad that I didn't realize you drive a stick shift and I couldn't drive. Then, you can come and get the car in the morning!” The girls laughed, high-fived, and the night continued. I had some serious body weight on the sisters, but Man….could they put away the booze. Tara got up to use the restroom, which left me and Linsday alone. After a minute, she looked me in they eye, gave me a strangely-familiar sultry smile that I had seen from her sister and asked, “Like the shirt?” I looked at the shirt, with the clueless look only a guy can give and answered, “Yes, it looks great on you.” In truth, it was a nice top. It was a black and grey top that had a modern pattern throughout. The sleeves were different in that from the shoulders to the cuffs, there were criss-crossed pieces of fabric that left a lot of skin exposed. It wasn't really form-fitting, but Lindsey's pert breasts were definitely noticeable in it. “I actually got it from Tara. She left it behind after Christmas break and I snuck in and stole it from her. I just love the pattern. I think the sleeves are so cool.” Then, with her sister's trademark smirk she added, “ I really like the extra…. pattern and …. texture on the front.” Oh shit. I felt like one of those sitcoms where the main characters past flashes by in a quick montage … and I remembered the shirt. For my birthday in December, Tara and I went to New York City for the weekend. We went to a club and she wore that exact top with a pair of skintight leather pants and heels. We had been drinking and flirting and teasing all night long. BY the time we got back to the hotel, we fell into the elevator and started making out intensely. As we worked our tongues down each other's throats, I started unbuckling her belt. When I grabbed her wrists, she prepared herself for me to start undoing her pants and going after her pussy. Instead, I undid the belt halfway, threaded it through the webbing of her shirt cuffs and rethreaded it through the belt loops. Suddenly, she was like a prisoner with her hands cuffed behind her back. I continued to maul her mouth with mine until we heard the 'ding' of our floor. I walked her in front of me, with her hands bound until we got to our door. I fumbled out our key card and opened the door to our room. I pushed her inside and locked the door behind us. One of the most attractive things about Tara is that she would never back down. As I led her into the room, she got sharp sarcastic tone to her voice and said, “Nice, smart guy. But you can't get my pants down like this, can you?” “Who said I wanted what's in your pants?” I then pushed her so her legs hit the end of the bed. Before she could fall backwards…. I pushed her down and slid her forward onto her knees. She got the sexiest smile as I unbuckled my pants, dropped my boxers and simply said, “Suck.” Tara opened her mouth and enveloped my cock. She didn't start with anything delicate like licking and kissing, it was straight-up sucking. I'm average in the dick size department, so she took me in deep, getting all the way to my balls with ease, she came back and kept going with increasing suction. As I started to groan in pleasure, she began kissing the sides of my shaft until she got down to my balls. She took one, then, the other and licked and sucked on them. Then, it was back to my cock. She went back and forth, making it feel as good as any pussy I had ever been in. She backed off for a minute with I still remember as one of the sexiest sentences ever. “Either untie my hands so I can do this right, or grab me and fuck my face.” I chose the latter. I grabbed two fistfuls of her hair and started aggressively fucking her mouth and throat. To her credit, Tara kept up the suction and using her tongue as best she could while being forced on to my cock. Her eyes were watering a bit and as the pressure built, her saliva was dripping off her chin to the hotel carpet. Finally, when I hit my limit, I started to explode. The first two bursts went down her throat, but then I shocked her again. I pulled my cock from her mouth and let the remaining cum coat her face, mouth and the top of her shirt. When we finally finished, she said, “You fucker. This was a new shirt. But, with the grey pattern, I may just leave it like this. Everyone will think it's part of the shirt, but you and I know I'm wearing your cum around my neck like a medal every time I have it on.” All of this came flooding back to me in the bar as I struggled for words, “Uh…well, it looks great on you… Linds… er… Becky. I mean…. fuck.” Tara walked back to table to see my bright red face and Lindsay beaming. “He figured out the shirt didn't he?” Then to me, “Sorry, babe. You'll learn to understand my sister's weird sense of humor.” Lindsay added, “C'mon! Think of it as an April Fools joke! I mean, the look on your face was awesome.” “April Fools joke?” I questioned as I looked back at Tara, “How does she even know about that shirt?” “Babe. You're an only child. You don't understand how much sisters like to share things.” “What do you mean share?” I fumbled. That earned me a solid punch in the arm from Tara, which seemed to be happening fairly often on this trip. “Ew! Gross! I meant stories! Not men! This isn't some porn you watch when I'm not over your place, you sicko! So, don't get your "twin cest” fantasies all wound up in your head, you ass!“ "Fuck……” was pretty much all I could mutter as we went back to drinking. After another hour or so, we walked home. It was chilly, which helped us to sober up a bit, but we were still pretty buzzed. We walked in the door just after midnight and went to our rooms. At about 2:30, I felt something stirring on my bed. As I opened my blurry eyes, I could see the darkened form of Tara in our College's Sweatshirt and a pair of purple checkered panties slowly straddling me. “Shush. Everyone's sleeping” she whispered, “We have to be quiet.” She started gyrating those purple panties against my swelling cock while she kept her hands behind her on my thighs. My cock was rock hard and started to emerge from the fly in my boxers. I could feel the wetness of her pussy coming through her panties starting to lubricate my cock. As she started to moan, she lifted my hands under her sweatshirt to her tits. I grabbed a handful of her bare tits and started to feel her nipple stiffening. That's when it hit me. Twice. In the same second. Tara didn't own purple panties. In fact, she hates the color purple. Next, those weren't her tits. They were close. They were amazing. But they weren't Tara's. All of a sudden, I was like John Cena kicking out of a pin, or more accurately a fish flopping around on land. “Lindsay! Get off” I whisper-yelled and I gave her a solid shove. She landed on her ass at the foot of the bed. I was expecting tears, I was expecting a commotion, I was expecting to be killed by my girlfriend or her father. Instead, I got another smirk. “Oh well, I tried. April Fools?”  And she got up and left the room as quietly as she had entered. For the second time in as many days, I was left with a solid hard on, with the scent of an incredibly hot woman left behind. Needless to say, I got an awful night sleep. Between the alcohol, the late-night visit, and a raging hard-on, I had lost the sleep battle. I was also seriously wondering if I was somehow going to be blamed, then killed for the events of the night before. I needed to burn off some stress and the remaining alcohol, so I got up at 7:30 with the sun streaming through a crack in the window and threw on my running gear. I hit the empty neighborhood streets and started to sweat out everything from the night before. At the end of my loop, I ran back by the bar and picked up my car. As I arrived back at the house around 9:00 with coffee and donuts (in case I needed a bribe), everything seemed normal. I visited with everyone, went upstairs to grab a shower and get changed to help out for the day. When I came down at 10:15 – everything had gone to Hell. Lois was sobbing, Henry was on the phone yelling. Tara and Lindsay were trying to offer suggestions, while Josh and Denise stared silently. Pulling Tara aside, I asked, “T – what's going on?” “Turns out the caterer fucked up. They dropped off the food while you were upstairs, but they aren't staying to prep it, cook it, set it out or serve it. Lo is losing her mind, Henry is ready to punch someone.” Henry was screaming into the phone, “And I know more people in this town that I will destroy your business, do you understand?!?” “Hey Lois?” I tried to interrupt. But Lois couldn't stop crying, “Oh, girls, it's ruined. We can't get all this done in time for the guests.” “Uh….Tara? Henry?” I attempted to get anyone's attention. “Thanks For Nothing, Henry Yelled; and slammed the phone!! "Oh Henry…..Wah!” As they hysterics built to a crescendo, I finally spoke loudly enough to cut through the noise. “Uh, Anyone? Just Stop for a second!” While Lois was still whimpering, there was at least some silence. “No offense, but I'm literally standing right here. You know I spent all of college working in restaurants and bars, right? Plus, all my work experience is with caterers and managing events. I literally oversaw a functions department that did weddings for 2,000 people at a hotel in Dallas. I think I can handle 50 friends and family.” Tara was the first to speak, “Oh, my God, J ……thank you. But you can't do all this yourself. I'll help?” “Nope. But here's what I need: You get Lois ready like you planned. Henry, you and the kids finish cleaning up and putting up the tables and stuff. When the flowers get here, show them where it all goes. Linds – you knew a bunch of people working at the bar last night. Can you start texting, calling, whatever, and see if ANY of them can get their asses over here for a quick $100 bucks today? You and I will run that crew.” Lois finally was starting to calm down. “Are you sure, Jason? You're supposed to be a guest.” “Don't worry about it. This is literally what I do. Consider this my gift to you. I'll just keep the salt & pepper shakers that say 'Henry and Lois' for my place!” Henry gave me a big bear hug and said to me and Lindsay, “Tell your friends $200 each. If you can get them and pull this off, I'll pay anything.” And with that, everyone started their tasks. I grabbed the prep instructions the caterers had left and started to figure out timing and how the ovens worked. I was looking for some baking trays under the cabinets, when Lindsay came down and told me she had one bartender, a waitress and a waiter on their way. “Awesome. Any idea when they'll get here? I'm gonna need some help in here.” “Dude. I woke them up after they worked a night shift. Be glad we got who we did. I'll tell you what, I'll help you for now, then when they get here I'll get changed. That way, I'll know what's going on too. Once the party starts, I can be the runner for you and them.” I stood up, walked over and gave Lindsay a big hug. Once again, I felt her amazing tits – this time pressed up against me through her sweater. With that, we started working. I was scribbling on a pad I found, how I was going to schedule out the food so we had it flowing the whole time. Lindsay was unwrapping all the food trays and putting them in different parts of the kitchen at my direction. Time flew by and at noon the servers started showing up. Ed was actually one of the bartenders I met the night before. I had Lindsay show him to the patio, where the makeshift bar was set up. Then I told her to get dressed for the ceremony. I took Leslie & Marc and told them how we were laying things out. As soon as the ceremony ended, we wanted champagne poured and passed out for a toast. While they did that, I'd put the cold platters in the family room and living room. Then, we had time to start pulling the hot food, which they would pass from room to room. As the guests arrived, things picked up. The rooms were small and tight. Leslie, Marc and I were running around with platters of food and clearing old plates. Of course, we were also taking requests from people who were too lazy to walk the 30 feet to Ed at the bar. At about 1:30, I was in the kitchen, on the ground trying to reach into the back of a cabinet for a cake platter. I heard the familiar click-click of high heel shoes and squirmed out of the cabinet. I looked over to see that I was within a tongue-length of an amazing pair of legs perched on a pair of black heels. My eyes traveled up to see that Lindsay was wearing a short, pleated yellow skirt with a white blouse that accentuated her amazing tits. “You need anything, boss?” she asked. “Uh…no Linds. All is good here.” She took a half step forward and could have straddled my head and answered, “You sure?” “Lindsay, c'mon, kid, you gotta stop with the flirting. You're killing me.” Without moving, she continued, “I may have been drunk last night, but I figured out what tipped you off it wasn't me. First, it was my tits. You've felt Tara's enough to know mine weren't hers. I should have kept your hands outside the sweatshirt, Next, it was the panties. Tara hates purple. So, I fixed that, too,” With that, she lifted her skirt to show me her naked pussy. It's not an understatement to say it was amazing. The lips were shaved bare, but she kept a very thin, very fine landing strip that ended at the top of her cleft, just like her sister. Everything looked perfect and it was all…right…there. “I mean you haven't had a chance to stop and eat. Don't you want a snack?” Sounds of people heading our way made Lindsay drop her skirt, grab a platter of desserts and leave the room with a flounce. “I swear” I muttered to myself as I readjusted my dick yet again, “one more little prank from her and I'm gonna murder someone this weekend.” At this point, I was tired, sweating, and laying on the tile floor of a kitchen, trying to hide my erectness. Finally, after a few hours, the party started to wind down. Friends left, some family members remained. The immediate family all started to get changed out of their dressy clothes. At about 4:30, Tara found her way to the kitchen just I was cleaning up with the team. “Babe. Thank you so much. I talked to my parents and told them we are going to head out. Go get yourself together and let's get on the road. If anyone deserves a good dinner tonight, it's you.” I went upstairs and took my first good look at myself in the mirror. I was covered in food remnants and splatters. I undressed and threw on jeans, and a new shirt. I packed up my stuff, grabbed Tara's bags and loaded up the car. We went back in to say goodbye to everyone. Henry and Lo were still with some remaining guests on the patio. The kids were playing video games. Lindsay was with some cousins and friends drinking a glass of wine. Fortunately, she was dressed in a pair of shorts, t-shirt and keds. Henry and Lo couldn't stop hugging and thanking me. The kids gave me high-fives. Lindsay gave me what ended up being a fairly chaste hug. As we pulled away, she said to Tara, “You've got a good one, T!” As I made my way toward the door, Henry reached out to me again, taking me another big bear hug. I've got some size, but I thought he was going to break my ribs. He pulled away and said, “You're a good man, Jason. Thank you.” With that he stuck out his hand for a final handshake. Having worked in restaurants for years, I felt the familiar “gentlemen's tip” moving some folded bills into my hand. “Don't say a word” he said quietly. You saved us today and if the servers got $200…that's the least I can do for you.“ I thanked him, hugged him again and discreetly put the money in my pocket. Tara and I hopped in the car and started heading to Midnock Valley Resort. We had about a 3 hour drive and we just chatted about the party in general. About an hour in, Tara asked me, "So, did she hit on you?” I didn't know how to answer…so I went with a blank stare. “Babe. It's ok. She does it all the time. It's some little sister thing. Wants to prove that she can be as grown up as me. But the good news is, if you had done anything – she would have told me right away and tell me you're a scumbag.” “But…..” “Sisters before Misters. It's the golden rule.” “Thank goodness you're hot” I joked, “Because that may be the most fucked-up and lamest thing anyone has ever said to me.” With that, we started laughing and settled in for the rest of the drive. To be continued.. By TruthwithaTwist for Literotica.

My girlfriend and her sister play dueling practical jokes on me. By TruthWithaTwist. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. I was midway through my first year of Graduate school, getting my MBA, when my girlfriend, Tara, asked if I wanted to drive to her family's house a few hours away for the weekend. It was her Mother and Step-Father's 20th wedding party and I jumped at the chance to get away from campus for a few days. The party was scheduled for April 2nd, but their actual anniversary was April 1st, which was a running joke in the family. The chance to get away sounded great and I knew that Tara and I would always find ways to entertain ourselves on long car rides.I had started dating Tara at the beginning of the year, upon arriving at school. Tara was 3 years older than me at 28 years old. She had high cheekbones, silken brown hair and brown eyes that were expressive and sultry. She was the type of woman who could get you instantly hard with a smirk and sparkle from those eyes. Her body was amazing. Perfect tear-drop C-cup breasts, toned stomach and an ass that was just full enough to fill out the best pair of jeans. Within weeks of meeting, Tara and I became the “couple” in our friend group. Privately, we were a typical sex-focused young couple. Fortunately, we were both fairly adventurous and were willing to stretch the limits of our sexual fun. On Halloween, we found ourselves on the roof of my apartment building having sex dressed at Batman and Catwoman. One day, we decided to slink into the small town's only Adult Store where we bought a selection of toys to share, from handcuffs to vibrators to anal toys. After losing a bet on an Auburn/Alabama game on a Saturday, Tara found herself tied naked to the couch in my apartment for the duration of Sunday's Bears game as I alternated between watching the game and using her as I pleased. So, the idea of a road trip, even to her parents' house, was always a promising scenario. We didn't have classes on Friday so were on the road just after noon. It would take about 5 hours to drive to her house, so we filled my Jeep Cherokee with our bags and hit the road. I had met her parents before but it would be the first time I was meeting her younger sister, as well as her twin step-brother and step-sister. I was hearing that we were going to be doing some family-stuff on Saturday (visiting grandma, picking up stuff for the party, etc.) and then they were hosting an “anniversary brunch” at the house on Sunday. Since we both knew there would be no opportunity for frolicking while in her parents' house, Tara and I planned on heading out Sunday afternoon and stopping for the night somewhere along the way since we had no classes until Monday afternoon. Tara dozed off right out of town and started stirring after an hour or so of sleep. She was floating in and out of sleep, adjusting herself in the seat and staring out the window. I was focused on the road when I heard her mumble, “Oooh. Check that out” while looking out the window. Looking over, I saw her gesturing toward a billboard for the regions “Most Romantic Resort”. “Hot tubs! Private Cabins! Fireplaces” were all highlighted on the billboard. There was a picture of a couple cuddling in front of a fireplace to complete the obvious vibe they were going for. Tara grabbed a pen and scribbled down the phone number on a scrap of paper she found. She then grabbed my phone and called the property. I could only hear one side of the conversation where she was asking if there were rooms available, what types, how much and all those details. At one point, she reached into her purse, took out a credit card and read the number to the person she was talking to. After she hung up, she gave me an update. “So cool! They have cabins for Sunday night! The rate includes a dinner package in their restaurant; and listen about our room! It's a private cabin and it has an all-season hot tub, fireplace and she sold me on the ‘Romance Package' whatever THAT is” she laughed. “Well, I guess we're staying there, huh?” I chuckled back. “Of course! How can we pass up a cheesy romantic cabin in the hills, with dinner AND a romance package!” “So what the hell is in the Romance Package?” “I have no idea. The girl on the phone asked if we ‘would be interested in the Romance Package for an extra $35' what was I gonna say? No? Besides, it'll be fun. If we can get out of my parents' place by 4ish on Sunday, we could get there, have dinner, grab some drinks and then have fun in our cabin!” “But I still want to know what's in the romance package” I pressed, again. “Seriously? That's your big question? I have no idea. But it's a romantic resort we've never heard of, in the middle of nowhere - so I'm betting it's some of that kind of stuff from Spencer's Gifts. Y'know, flavored massage oil, blindfold, fake rose petals!” She started laughing at the expected lameness of the package. “Call back. Maybe there's a deluxe romance upgrade!” I laughed back, “See if we can get the handcuffs, vibrator, lube and a goat for $20 more!” I got a solid punch in the arm in addition to her response, “What the fuck is wrong with you? Of course you'd want that kind of stuff. Is that what you want? Me tied up in a remote cabin with a bunch of toys and a goat?” “I mean, besides the goat…..” I started, which earned me another punch in the arm. We settled back into the drive and were quiet for a few more minutes. When I looked over, I saw that Tara was definitely getting “fidgety” in her seat. 'You ok?“ I asked. “Um….I hate to actually admit this to you, but the thought of the cabin, you talking about tying me up, I'm actually getting wet.” Tara was slowly rubbing her thighs together, trying to build some friction. Her eyes were closed and her right hand was starting to rub her breast and nipple through her shirt. The subtle motions continued until she finally exclaimed, “Fuck….now I'm horny as shit.” She unbuckled her seatbelt and unbuttoned her jeans. Lifting her hips up off the seat, she slid her jeans and black panties down over her hips. Her pussy was now in clear view, she was mostly shaved, with a small landing strip. She settled back into her seat and thrust two of her fingers into her mouth. I watched as she got her index and middle finger nice and wet. With her eyes closed, she moved her hand down to her pussy and began to stroke up and down her lips. A moan escaped her as her fingers danced up and down, spreading her moisture over her most intimate area. She used her other hand to spread herself open as she started to flutter a finger on her clit. I had seen her masterbate enough to know this was her favorite approach to orgasm. A finger, vibrator or tongue flicking and dancing directly on her clit while having something penetrate her was a guaranteed path to a climax for her. As much as I wanted to reach over and touch her myself, I was struggling with a bunch of things, from watching the erotic scene next to me, to the constraints of my tightening jeans, to staying focused on the road. As I tried to watch her without getting us killed, I simply asked, “What are thinking about, babe?” “I just want to cum. I want you buried inside me, fucking me. I want you to bend me over, take me and fuck me hard.” I could tell Tara was getting close to coming, because she had this habit of getting red and flushed all across her chest when she came. When orgasms were especially intense, the splotches would extend all up her neck and into her cheeks. It was the tell-tale sign of a major Tara orgasm. Her hand picked up speed as I tried to push her over the edge. “Yeah? You looking forward to a good fuck? But what about your ass? You know how much I love your ass. Just think, when we have our cabin, I'll get my dick nice and wet in your pussy… I'll grab your ankles push them back so you are spread wide open.” Her hand was a blur at this point, she had worked two fingers from her other hand into her pussy while she continued the assault on her clit. “Uh….yeah….tell me….make me cum” she moaned. “I'll work that hard, lubed cock into your ass. Not thrusting yet. Just slowly pressing harder as I slide further into your hole.” “More…. almost there.” I reached down and adjusted my cock which was now uncomfortably wedged in some terrible trifecta of boxers, denim and seatbelt. I told her the rest of my plan. “I could reach over, pick up the vibrator and push it into your pussy, babe. When I turn it on, you'll feel me slamming into your ass, while the vibrator fills your pussy up. You'll feel me through the walls of your pussy pressing up against the toy, making us into one big vibe. Buzzing, thrusting, filling you up until you explode your hot juices all over the….” “Argh; Uhg; Uhg”. Tara's entire body clenched, spasmed, and shook for a moment. Her fingers kept dancing on her clit, but were slowing down as she recaptured her breath. She reached out and started to grab her breast before realizing that her hand was still covered in fluids. She flopped back in her seat, her chest and neck covered in bright red splotches, her legs still spread, gasping for air. For a minute, she looked like she had passed out, but slowly she got her breath and pulse back to normal. She said, “Fuck, dude. I'm going to show up at my parents house reeking of sex. We have to stop somewhere so I can clean up.” “Really? Not my fault. You started it with the whole hot tub, romance package thing. Consider this punishment for banishing me to the guest room for next 2 nights.” “I'm serious. Pull over when we can so I can get cleaned up.” She then added with a smirk, “And enjoy those blue balls that are gonna kick in REAL soon, smart ass. Maybe that will be my April Fools gift to you! Keep you hard all weekend, but not let you have any sort of release?” We did end up stopping at a rest plaza so Tara could get herself together. I stretched out for the last hour of the drive, trying to ignore the growing discomfort from my lack of personal release and hoping that Tara's didn't go through with her idea of a “fun” April Fools joke. When we finally pulled into the house, it was your typical suburban home. The family all came out to greet us. Henry and Lois, Tara's parents were the first ones out. They looked like two, normal American parents. Henry had a salt and pepper beard, and was a bit taller and heavier than me. Lois had a definite resemblance to Tara, but was shorter, stouter and jovial. In all honesty, I could 100% see them both using some white hair spray, padding and putting on costumes and being Mr. & Mrs. Claus at the local church or Christmas parade. I had met them before, so I was greeted with hugs and warm welcomes. Next up were Tara's much younger twin half-siblings, Josh and Denise. They looked to be at the start of their awkward teenage years with graphic t-shirts and overall disinterested looks on their faces. We worked our way into the house with our bags. Lois started, “Tara, your room is all set. Jason, we have a guest room upstairs next to Lindsay's room for you.” That's when we heard a voice from upstairs. “Hey bee otch. What's up?” I looked up and did a double take. I had seen pictures of Tara's younger sister Lindsay, but they were older pictures – from family vacations at Disney and the like. The young woman coming down the stairs instantly let me know what Tara looked like 8 years earlier. They could have been twins. Same hair, same eyes, same smile. Worse for me, she had the same body as Tara – just a bit firmer and younger. I could tell because Lindsay was dressed in a half-shirt showing her school logo and a pair of gray sweats emblazoned with PINK down the leg. Tara and Linsday hugged, while Lois hung her head with a voice only a mother can generate, “Really Lindsay? You couldn't have put on something other than what you sleep in to greet them?” “I did! I put on a bra!” laughed Lindsay as she purposely jumped up and down a bit. “Lindsay! Go get changed! We're going to Alfredo's for dinner. Now!” Henry's voice had that “father” tone that left no room for debate. We all separated to our rooms. Tara's was at the top of the stairs, then the twins rooms on each side of the hallway, then a bathroom, then Lindsay's whose room was next to mine in the corner. Henry & Lois had their room on the main floor down the hall from the kitchen where we walked in. We all went to dinner, got home, watched TV, and people slowly began drifting off to their rooms. I was tired from driving, so I went up and got settled in. I could hear people shuffling around as read a book in bed. In the room next door, I could hear Tara and Lindsey chatting and laughing as I dozed off. Saturday came and it was a cool, damp day. We all came down for breakfast and Tara and I maintained that awkward, “showing affection, but not being gross or inappropriate” you do around parents. We all had our list of errands to do that day. I was picking up booze for the party, plus some tables and linens since I had an SUV. Henry and Josh helped with some of it and we made multiple trips back and forth to stores all day long. Tara helped Lois pick up her dress and went to visit her grandma. For dinner, pizza and salads were ordered for the house and we all just went over the plan for the next day. Caterers were coming at 10 with the food, they were going to prep, cook and serve for when the party started at noon. Tara and Lindsay were going to help Lois get ready (they were renewing their vows to start the festivities) while Josh & Denise were told to get dressed and keep the house neat. After dinner, Tara asked if I wanted to go to the local pub. It was your typical local bar with beers, basic pub food and all locals. “Can I come too?” said Lindsay. There were some strange looks around the table until Lois said, “I think you have to be 21 on weekends.” “Not if you sit at a table at the bar, not the bar, itself. There are kids in there all the time.” Rebutted Lindsay. “Besides, if I go, I can drive home so you two can drink!” Tara jumped in, “Mom. Don't worry about it – I never get to see my sister, she can come along. Let's all get changed and go in 30.” With that, we cleaned up, freshened up, and went out to my car. As soon as we got in the car, the sisters starting giggling. Tara turned and looked at her sister in the back seat, “Ok to eat at the table. You are unreal!” “It's true….. technically!” Lindsay retorted. “OK, but since you're visiting from Connecticut, wouldn't you rather sit at the bar with the grown ups?” They then degenerated into torrents of laughter. “Ok”, I asked. “What am I missing?” Tara finally smartened me up, “Linds has a fake ID. Literally everyone knows about it ….. except Dad. Since he serves on the college faculty, we don't want him to have to lie, so we keep it from him. But yeah literally everyone else knows. Mom, me, the bartenders, everyone knows that "Becky” here just turned 20.“ Lindsay chimed in with, "I mean, I literally went to school with half the people that work there. The fact that they all know to call me Becky is Ah-mah-zing!” The bar was less than 10 minutes away, so we got there quickly and settled in at the bar. The whole night was a ton of fun. Tara and Lindsay…er…Becky….knew everyone. We drank Rolling Rock by the bucketful. Every time you turned around, someone else was buying a bucket of beers to share or a round of shots. The girls and I had migrated to a high-top table in the corner and the booze was definitely kicking in. When I ordered a couple of cokes in a row, Lindsay delicately asked, “Dude. What the fuck?” “Well, I figured you're not going to be in any shape to drive, so I figured I better stop now.” “HA! Why do you think we came up with that plan? It's only a 10 minute walk home if we cut through the high school grounds. We're gonna tell Dad that I didn't realize you drive a stick shift and I couldn't drive. Then, you can come and get the car in the morning!” The girls laughed, high-fived, and the night continued. I had some serious body weight on the sisters, but Man….could they put away the booze. Tara got up to use the restroom, which left me and Linsday alone. After a minute, she looked me in they eye, gave me a strangely-familiar sultry smile that I had seen from her sister and asked, “Like the shirt?” I looked at the shirt, with the clueless look only a guy can give and answered, “Yes, it looks great on you.” In truth, it was a nice top. It was a black and grey top that had a modern pattern throughout. The sleeves were different in that from the shoulders to the cuffs, there were criss-crossed pieces of fabric that left a lot of skin exposed. It wasn't really form-fitting, but Lindsey's pert breasts were definitely noticeable in it. “I actually got it from Tara. She left it behind after Christmas break and I snuck in and stole it from her. I just love the pattern. I think the sleeves are so cool.” Then, with her sister's trademark smirk she added, “ I really like the extra…. pattern and …. texture on the front.” Oh shit. I felt like one of those sitcoms where the main characters past flashes by in a quick montage … and I remembered the shirt. For my birthday in December, Tara and I went to New York City for the weekend. We went to a club and she wore that exact top with a pair of skintight leather pants and heels. We had been drinking and flirting and teasing all night long. BY the time we got back to the hotel, we fell into the elevator and started making out intensely. As we worked our tongues down each other's throats, I started unbuckling her belt. When I grabbed her wrists, she prepared herself for me to start undoing her pants and going after her pussy. Instead, I undid the belt halfway, threaded it through the webbing of her shirt cuffs and rethreaded it through the belt loops. Suddenly, she was like a prisoner with her hands cuffed behind her back. I continued to maul her mouth with mine until we heard the 'ding' of our floor. I walked her in front of me, with her hands bound until we got to our door. I fumbled out our key card and opened the door to our room. I pushed her inside and locked the door behind us. One of the most attractive things about Tara is that she would never back down. As I led her into the room, she got sharp sarcastic tone to her voice and said, “Nice, smart guy. But you can't get my pants down like this, can you?” “Who said I wanted what's in your pants?” I then pushed her so her legs hit the end of the bed. Before she could fall backwards…. I pushed her down and slid her forward onto her knees. She got the sexiest smile as I unbuckled my pants, dropped my boxers and simply said, “Suck.” Tara opened her mouth and enveloped my cock. She didn't start with anything delicate like licking and kissing, it was straight-up sucking. I'm average in the dick size department, so she took me in deep, getting all the way to my balls with ease, she came back and kept going with increasing suction. As I started to groan in pleasure, she began kissing the sides of my shaft until she got down to my balls. She took one, then, the other and licked and sucked on them. Then, it was back to my cock. She went back and forth, making it feel as good as any pussy I had ever been in. She backed off for a minute with I still remember as one of the sexiest sentences ever. “Either untie my hands so I can do this right, or grab me and fuck my face.” I chose the latter. I grabbed two fistfuls of her hair and started aggressively fucking her mouth and throat. To her credit, Tara kept up the suction and using her tongue as best she could while being forced on to my cock. Her eyes were watering a bit and as the pressure built, her saliva was dripping off her chin to the hotel carpet. Finally, when I hit my limit, I started to explode. The first two bursts went down her throat, but then I shocked her again. I pulled my cock from her mouth and let the remaining cum coat her face, mouth and the top of her shirt. When we finally finished, she said, “You fucker. This was a new shirt. But, with the grey pattern, I may just leave it like this. Everyone will think it's part of the shirt, but you and I know I'm wearing your cum around my neck like a medal every time I have it on.” All of this came flooding back to me in the bar as I struggled for words, “Uh…well, it looks great on you… Linds… er… Becky. I mean…. fuck.” Tara walked back to table to see my bright red face and Lindsay beaming. “He figured out the shirt didn't he?” Then to me, “Sorry, babe. You'll learn to understand my sister's weird sense of humor.” Lindsay added, “C'mon! Think of it as an April Fools joke! I mean, the look on your face was awesome.” “April Fools joke?” I questioned as I looked back at Tara, “How does she even know about that shirt?” “Babe. You're an only child. You don't understand how much sisters like to share things.” “What do you mean share?” I fumbled. That earned me a solid punch in the arm from Tara, which seemed to be happening fairly often on this trip. “Ew! Gross! I meant stories! Not men! This isn't some porn you watch when I'm not over your place, you sicko! So, don't get your "twin cest” fantasies all wound up in your head, you ass!“ "Fuck……” was pretty much all I could mutter as we went back to drinking. After another hour or so, we walked home. It was chilly, which helped us to sober up a bit, but we were still pretty buzzed. We walked in the door just after midnight and went to our rooms. At about 2:30, I felt something stirring on my bed. As I opened my blurry eyes, I could see the darkened form of Tara in our College's Sweatshirt and a pair of purple checkered panties slowly straddling me. “Shush. Everyone's sleeping” she whispered, “We have to be quiet.” She started gyrating those purple panties against my swelling cock while she kept her hands behind her on my thighs. My cock was rock hard and started to emerge from the fly in my boxers. I could feel the wetness of her pussy coming through her panties starting to lubricate my cock. As she started to moan, she lifted my hands under her sweatshirt to her tits. I grabbed a handful of her bare tits and started to feel her nipple stiffening. That's when it hit me. Twice. In the same second. Tara didn't own purple panties. In fact, she hates the color purple. Next, those weren't her tits. They were close. They were amazing. But they weren't Tara's. All of a sudden, I was like John Cena kicking out of a pin, or more accurately a fish flopping around on land. “Lindsay! Get off” I whisper-yelled and I gave her a solid shove. She landed on her ass at the foot of the bed. I was expecting tears, I was expecting a commotion, I was expecting to be killed by my girlfriend or her father. Instead, I got another smirk. “Oh well, I tried. April Fools?”  And she got up and left the room as quietly as she had entered. For the second time in as many days, I was left with a solid hard on, with the scent of an incredibly hot woman left behind. Needless to say, I got an awful night sleep. Between the alcohol, the late-night visit, and a raging hard-on, I had lost the sleep battle. I was also seriously wondering if I was somehow going to be blamed, then killed for the events of the night before. I needed to burn off some stress and the remaining alcohol, so I got up at 7:30 with the sun streaming through a crack in the window and threw on my running gear. I hit the empty neighborhood streets and started to sweat out everything from the night before. At the end of my loop, I ran back by the bar and picked up my car. As I arrived back at the house around 9:00 with coffee and donuts (in case I needed a bribe), everything seemed normal. I visited with everyone, went upstairs to grab a shower and get changed to help out for the day. When I came down at 10:15 – everything had gone to Hell. Lois was sobbing, Henry was on the phone yelling. Tara and Lindsay were trying to offer suggestions, while Josh and Denise stared silently. Pulling Tara aside, I asked, “T – what's going on?” “Turns out the caterer fucked up. They dropped off the food while you were upstairs, but they aren't staying to prep it, cook it, set it out or serve it. Lo is losing her mind, Henry is ready to punch someone.” Henry was screaming into the phone, “And I know more people in this town that I will destroy your business, do you understand?!?” “Hey Lois?” I tried to interrupt. But Lois couldn't stop crying, “Oh, girls, it's ruined. We can't get all this done in time for the guests.” “Uh….Tara? Henry?” I attempted to get anyone's attention. “Thanks For Nothing, Henry Yelled; and slammed the phone!! "Oh Henry…..Wah!” As they hysterics built to a crescendo, I finally spoke loudly enough to cut through the noise. “Uh, Anyone? Just Stop for a second!” While Lois was still whimpering, there was at least some silence. “No offense, but I'm literally standing right here. You know I spent all of college working in restaurants and bars, right? Plus, all my work experience is with caterers and managing events. I literally oversaw a functions department that did weddings for 2,000 people at a hotel in Dallas. I think I can handle 50 friends and family.” Tara was the first to speak, “Oh, my God, J ……thank you. But you can't do all this yourself. I'll help?” “Nope. But here's what I need: You get Lois ready like you planned. Henry, you and the kids finish cleaning up and putting up the tables and stuff. When the flowers get here, show them where it all goes. Linds – you knew a bunch of people working at the bar last night. Can you start texting, calling, whatever, and see if ANY of them can get their asses over here for a quick $100 bucks today? You and I will run that crew.” Lois finally was starting to calm down. “Are you sure, Jason? You're supposed to be a guest.” “Don't worry about it. This is literally what I do. Consider this my gift to you. I'll just keep the salt & pepper shakers that say 'Henry and Lois' for my place!” Henry gave me a big bear hug and said to me and Lindsay, “Tell your friends $200 each. If you can get them and pull this off, I'll pay anything.” And with that, everyone started their tasks. I grabbed the prep instructions the caterers had left and started to figure out timing and how the ovens worked. I was looking for some baking trays under the cabinets, when Lindsay came down and told me she had one bartender, a waitress and a waiter on their way. “Awesome. Any idea when they'll get here? I'm gonna need some help in here.” “Dude. I woke them up after they worked a night shift. Be glad we got who we did. I'll tell you what, I'll help you for now, then when they get here I'll get changed. That way, I'll know what's going on too. Once the party starts, I can be the runner for you and them.” I stood up, walked over and gave Lindsay a big hug. Once again, I felt her amazing tits – this time pressed up against me through her sweater. With that, we started working. I was scribbling on a pad I found, how I was going to schedule out the food so we had it flowing the whole time. Lindsay was unwrapping all the food trays and putting them in different parts of the kitchen at my direction. Time flew by and at noon the servers started showing up. Ed was actually one of the bartenders I met the night before. I had Lindsay show him to the patio, where the makeshift bar was set up. Then I told her to get dressed for the ceremony. I took Leslie & Marc and told them how we were laying things out. As soon as the ceremony ended, we wanted champagne poured and passed out for a toast. While they did that, I'd put the cold platters in the family room and living room. Then, we had time to start pulling the hot food, which they would pass from room to room. As the guests arrived, things picked up. The rooms were small and tight. Leslie, Marc and I were running around with platters of food and clearing old plates. Of course, we were also taking requests from people who were too lazy to walk the 30 feet to Ed at the bar. At about 1:30, I was in the kitchen, on the ground trying to reach into the back of a cabinet for a cake platter. I heard the familiar click-click of high heel shoes and squirmed out of the cabinet. I looked over to see that I was within a tongue-length of an amazing pair of legs perched on a pair of black heels. My eyes traveled up to see that Lindsay was wearing a short, pleated yellow skirt with a white blouse that accentuated her amazing tits. “You need anything, boss?” she asked. “Uh…no Linds. All is good here.” She took a half step forward and could have straddled my head and answered, “You sure?” “Lindsay, c'mon, kid, you gotta stop with the flirting. You're killing me.” Without moving, she continued, “I may have been drunk last night, but I figured out what tipped you off it wasn't me. First, it was my tits. You've felt Tara's enough to know mine weren't hers. I should have kept your hands outside the sweatshirt, Next, it was the panties. Tara hates purple. So, I fixed that, too,” With that, she lifted her skirt to show me her naked pussy. It's not an understatement to say it was amazing. The lips were shaved bare, but she kept a very thin, very fine landing strip that ended at the top of her cleft, just like her sister. Everything looked perfect and it was all…right…there. “I mean you haven't had a chance to stop and eat. Don't you want a snack?” Sounds of people heading our way made Lindsay drop her skirt, grab a platter of desserts and leave the room with a flounce. “I swear” I muttered to myself as I readjusted my dick yet again, “one more little prank from her and I'm gonna murder someone this weekend.” At this point, I was tired, sweating, and laying on the tile floor of a kitchen, trying to hide my erectness. Finally, after a few hours, the party started to wind down. Friends left, some family members remained. The immediate family all started to get changed out of their dressy clothes. At about 4:30, Tara found her way to the kitchen just I was cleaning up with the team. “Babe. Thank you so much. I talked to my parents and told them we are going to head out. Go get yourself together and let's get on the road. If anyone deserves a good dinner tonight, it's you.” I went upstairs and took my first good look at myself in the mirror. I was covered in food remnants and splatters. I undressed and threw on jeans, and a new shirt. I packed up my stuff, grabbed Tara's bags and loaded up the car. We went back in to say goodbye to everyone. Henry and Lo were still with some remaining guests on the patio. The kids were playing video games. Lindsay was with some cousins and friends drinking a glass of wine. Fortunately, she was dressed in a pair of shorts, t-shirt and keds. Henry and Lo couldn't stop hugging and thanking me. The kids gave me high-fives. Lindsay gave me what ended up being a fairly chaste hug. As we pulled away, she said to Tara, “You've got a good one, T!” As I made my way toward the door, Henry reached out to me again, taking me another big bear hug. I've got some size, but I thought he was going to break my ribs. He pulled away and said, “You're a good man, Jason. Thank you.” With that he stuck out his hand for a final handshake. Having worked in restaurants for years, I felt the familiar “gentlemen's tip” moving some folded bills into my hand. “Don't say a word” he said quietly. You saved us today and if the servers got $200…that's the least I can do for you.“ I thanked him, hugged him again and discreetly put the money in my pocket. Tara and I hopped in the car and started heading to Midnock Valley Resort. We had about a 3 hour drive and we just chatted about the party in general. About an hour in, Tara asked me, "So, did she hit on you?” I didn't know how to answer…so I went with a blank stare. “Babe. It's ok. She does it all the time. It's some little sister thing. Wants to prove that she can be as grown up as me. But the good news is, if you had done anything – she would have told me right away and tell me you're a scumbag.” “But…..” “Sisters before Misters. It's the golden rule.” “Thank goodness you're hot” I joked, “Because that may be the most fucked-up and lamest thing anyone has ever said to me.” With that, we started laughing and settled in for the rest of the drive. To be continued.. By TruthwithaTwist for Literotica.

My girlfriend and her sister play dueling practical jokes on me. By TruthWithaTwist. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. I was midway through my first year of Graduate school, getting my MBA, when my girlfriend, Tara, asked if I wanted to drive to her family's house a few hours away for the weekend. It was her Mother and Step-Father's 20th wedding party and I jumped at the chance to get away from campus for a few days. The party was scheduled for April 2nd, but their actual anniversary was April 1st, which was a running joke in the family. The chance to get away sounded great and I knew that Tara and I would always find ways to entertain ourselves on long car rides.I had started dating Tara at the beginning of the year, upon arriving at school. Tara was 3 years older than me at 28 years old. She had high cheekbones, silken brown hair and brown eyes that were expressive and sultry. She was the type of woman who could get you instantly hard with a smirk and sparkle from those eyes. Her body was amazing. Perfect tear-drop C-cup breasts, toned stomach and an ass that was just full enough to fill out the best pair of jeans. Within weeks of meeting, Tara and I became the “couple” in our friend group. Privately, we were a typical sex-focused young couple. Fortunately, we were both fairly adventurous and were willing to stretch the limits of our sexual fun. On Halloween, we found ourselves on the roof of my apartment building having sex dressed at Batman and Catwoman. One day, we decided to slink into the small town's only Adult Store where we bought a selection of toys to share, from handcuffs to vibrators to anal toys. After losing a bet on an Auburn/Alabama game on a Saturday, Tara found herself tied naked to the couch in my apartment for the duration of Sunday's Bears game as I alternated between watching the game and using her as I pleased. So, the idea of a road trip, even to her parents' house, was always a promising scenario. We didn't have classes on Friday so were on the road just after noon. It would take about 5 hours to drive to her house, so we filled my Jeep Cherokee with our bags and hit the road. I had met her parents before but it would be the first time I was meeting her younger sister, as well as her twin step-brother and step-sister. I was hearing that we were going to be doing some family-stuff on Saturday (visiting grandma, picking up stuff for the party, etc.) and then they were hosting an “anniversary brunch” at the house on Sunday. Since we both knew there would be no opportunity for frolicking while in her parents' house, Tara and I planned on heading out Sunday afternoon and stopping for the night somewhere along the way since we had no classes until Monday afternoon. Tara dozed off right out of town and started stirring after an hour or so of sleep. She was floating in and out of sleep, adjusting herself in the seat and staring out the window. I was focused on the road when I heard her mumble, “Oooh. Check that out” while looking out the window. Looking over, I saw her gesturing toward a billboard for the regions “Most Romantic Resort”. “Hot tubs! Private Cabins! Fireplaces” were all highlighted on the billboard. There was a picture of a couple cuddling in front of a fireplace to complete the obvious vibe they were going for. Tara grabbed a pen and scribbled down the phone number on a scrap of paper she found. She then grabbed my phone and called the property. I could only hear one side of the conversation where she was asking if there were rooms available, what types, how much and all those details. At one point, she reached into her purse, took out a credit card and read the number to the person she was talking to. After she hung up, she gave me an update. “So cool! They have cabins for Sunday night! The rate includes a dinner package in their restaurant; and listen about our room! It's a private cabin and it has an all-season hot tub, fireplace and she sold me on the ‘Romance Package' whatever THAT is” she laughed. “Well, I guess we're staying there, huh?” I chuckled back. “Of course! How can we pass up a cheesy romantic cabin in the hills, with dinner AND a romance package!” “So what the hell is in the Romance Package?” “I have no idea. The girl on the phone asked if we ‘would be interested in the Romance Package for an extra $35' what was I gonna say? No? Besides, it'll be fun. If we can get out of my parents' place by 4ish on Sunday, we could get there, have dinner, grab some drinks and then have fun in our cabin!” “But I still want to know what's in the romance package” I pressed, again. “Seriously? That's your big question? I have no idea. But it's a romantic resort we've never heard of, in the middle of nowhere - so I'm betting it's some of that kind of stuff from Spencer's Gifts. Y'know, flavored massage oil, blindfold, fake rose petals!” She started laughing at the expected lameness of the package. “Call back. Maybe there's a deluxe romance upgrade!” I laughed back, “See if we can get the handcuffs, vibrator, lube and a goat for $20 more!” I got a solid punch in the arm in addition to her response, “What the fuck is wrong with you? Of course you'd want that kind of stuff. Is that what you want? Me tied up in a remote cabin with a bunch of toys and a goat?” “I mean, besides the goat…..” I started, which earned me another punch in the arm. We settled back into the drive and were quiet for a few more minutes. When I looked over, I saw that Tara was definitely getting “fidgety” in her seat. 'You ok?“ I asked. “Um….I hate to actually admit this to you, but the thought of the cabin, you talking about tying me up, I'm actually getting wet.” Tara was slowly rubbing her thighs together, trying to build some friction. Her eyes were closed and her right hand was starting to rub her breast and nipple through her shirt. The subtle motions continued until she finally exclaimed, “Fuck….now I'm horny as shit.” She unbuckled her seatbelt and unbuttoned her jeans. Lifting her hips up off the seat, she slid her jeans and black panties down over her hips. Her pussy was now in clear view, she was mostly shaved, with a small landing strip. She settled back into her seat and thrust two of her fingers into her mouth. I watched as she got her index and middle finger nice and wet. With her eyes closed, she moved her hand down to her pussy and began to stroke up and down her lips. A moan escaped her as her fingers danced up and down, spreading her moisture over her most intimate area. She used her other hand to spread herself open as she started to flutter a finger on her clit. I had seen her masterbate enough to know this was her favorite approach to orgasm. A finger, vibrator or tongue flicking and dancing directly on her clit while having something penetrate her was a guaranteed path to a climax for her. As much as I wanted to reach over and touch her myself, I was struggling with a bunch of things, from watching the erotic scene next to me, to the constraints of my tightening jeans, to staying focused on the road. As I tried to watch her without getting us killed, I simply asked, “What are thinking about, babe?” “I just want to cum. I want you buried inside me, fucking me. I want you to bend me over, take me and fuck me hard.” I could tell Tara was getting close to coming, because she had this habit of getting red and flushed all across her chest when she came. When orgasms were especially intense, the splotches would extend all up her neck and into her cheeks. It was the tell-tale sign of a major Tara orgasm. Her hand picked up speed as I tried to push her over the edge. “Yeah? You looking forward to a good fuck? But what about your ass? You know how much I love your ass. Just think, when we have our cabin, I'll get my dick nice and wet in your pussy… I'll grab your ankles push them back so you are spread wide open.” Her hand was a blur at this point, she had worked two fingers from her other hand into her pussy while she continued the assault on her clit. “Uh….yeah….tell me….make me cum” she moaned. “I'll work that hard, lubed cock into your ass. Not thrusting yet. Just slowly pressing harder as I slide further into your hole.” “More…. almost there.” I reached down and adjusted my cock which was now uncomfortably wedged in some terrible trifecta of boxers, denim and seatbelt. I told her the rest of my plan. “I could reach over, pick up the vibrator and push it into your pussy, babe. When I turn it on, you'll feel me slamming into your ass, while the vibrator fills your pussy up. You'll feel me through the walls of your pussy pressing up against the toy, making us into one big vibe. Buzzing, thrusting, filling you up until you explode your hot juices all over the….” “Argh; Uhg; Uhg”. Tara's entire body clenched, spasmed, and shook for a moment. Her fingers kept dancing on her clit, but were slowing down as she recaptured her breath. She reached out and started to grab her breast before realizing that her hand was still covered in fluids. She flopped back in her seat, her chest and neck covered in bright red splotches, her legs still spread, gasping for air. For a minute, she looked like she had passed out, but slowly she got her breath and pulse back to normal. She said, “Fuck, dude. I'm going to show up at my parents house reeking of sex. We have to stop somewhere so I can clean up.” “Really? Not my fault. You started it with the whole hot tub, romance package thing. Consider this punishment for banishing me to the guest room for next 2 nights.” “I'm serious. Pull over when we can so I can get cleaned up.” She then added with a smirk, “And enjoy those blue balls that are gonna kick in REAL soon, smart ass. Maybe that will be my April Fools gift to you! Keep you hard all weekend, but not let you have any sort of release?” We did end up stopping at a rest plaza so Tara could get herself together. I stretched out for the last hour of the drive, trying to ignore the growing discomfort from my lack of personal release and hoping that Tara's didn't go through with her idea of a “fun” April Fools joke. When we finally pulled into the house, it was your typical suburban home. The family all came out to greet us. Henry and Lois, Tara's parents were the first ones out. They looked like two, normal American parents. Henry had a salt and pepper beard, and was a bit taller and heavier than me. Lois had a definite resemblance to Tara, but was shorter, stouter and jovial. In all honesty, I could 100% see them both using some white hair spray, padding and putting on costumes and being Mr. & Mrs. Claus at the local church or Christmas parade. I had met them before, so I was greeted with hugs and warm welcomes. Next up were Tara's much younger twin half-siblings, Josh and Denise. They looked to be at the start of their awkward teenage years with graphic t-shirts and overall disinterested looks on their faces. We worked our way into the house with our bags. Lois started, “Tara, your room is all set. Jason, we have a guest room upstairs next to Lindsay's room for you.” That's when we heard a voice from upstairs. “Hey bee otch. What's up?” I looked up and did a double take. I had seen pictures of Tara's younger sister Lindsay, but they were older pictures – from family vacations at Disney and the like. The young woman coming down the stairs instantly let me know what Tara looked like 8 years earlier. They could have been twins. Same hair, same eyes, same smile. Worse for me, she had the same body as Tara – just a bit firmer and younger. I could tell because Lindsay was dressed in a half-shirt showing her school logo and a pair of gray sweats emblazoned with PINK down the leg. Tara and Linsday hugged, while Lois hung her head with a voice only a mother can generate, “Really Lindsay? You couldn't have put on something other than what you sleep in to greet them?” “I did! I put on a bra!” laughed Lindsay as she purposely jumped up and down a bit. “Lindsay! Go get changed! We're going to Alfredo's for dinner. Now!” Henry's voice had that “father” tone that left no room for debate. We all separated to our rooms. Tara's was at the top of the stairs, then the twins rooms on each side of the hallway, then a bathroom, then Lindsay's whose room was next to mine in the corner. Henry & Lois had their room on the main floor down the hall from the kitchen where we walked in. We all went to dinner, got home, watched TV, and people slowly began drifting off to their rooms. I was tired from driving, so I went up and got settled in. I could hear people shuffling around as read a book in bed. In the room next door, I could hear Tara and Lindsey chatting and laughing as I dozed off. Saturday came and it was a cool, damp day. We all came down for breakfast and Tara and I maintained that awkward, “showing affection, but not being gross or inappropriate” you do around parents. We all had our list of errands to do that day. I was picking up booze for the party, plus some tables and linens since I had an SUV. Henry and Josh helped with some of it and we made multiple trips back and forth to stores all day long. Tara helped Lois pick up her dress and went to visit her grandma. For dinner, pizza and salads were ordered for the house and we all just went over the plan for the next day. Caterers were coming at 10 with the food, they were going to prep, cook and serve for when the party started at noon. Tara and Lindsay were going to help Lois get ready (they were renewing their vows to start the festivities) while Josh & Denise were told to get dressed and keep the house neat. After dinner, Tara asked if I wanted to go to the local pub. It was your typical local bar with beers, basic pub food and all locals. “Can I come too?” said Lindsay. There were some strange looks around the table until Lois said, “I think you have to be 21 on weekends.” “Not if you sit at a table at the bar, not the bar, itself. There are kids in there all the time.” Rebutted Lindsay. “Besides, if I go, I can drive home so you two can drink!” Tara jumped in, “Mom. Don't worry about it – I never get to see my sister, she can come along. Let's all get changed and go in 30.” With that, we cleaned up, freshened up, and went out to my car. As soon as we got in the car, the sisters starting giggling. Tara turned and looked at her sister in the back seat, “Ok to eat at the table. You are unreal!” “It's true….. technically!” Lindsay retorted. “OK, but since you're visiting from Connecticut, wouldn't you rather sit at the bar with the grown ups?” They then degenerated into torrents of laughter. “Ok”, I asked. “What am I missing?” Tara finally smartened me up, “Linds has a fake ID. Literally everyone knows about it ….. except Dad. Since he serves on the college faculty, we don't want him to have to lie, so we keep it from him. But yeah literally everyone else knows. Mom, me, the bartenders, everyone knows that "Becky” here just turned 20.“ Lindsay chimed in with, "I mean, I literally went to school with half the people that work there. The fact that they all know to call me Becky is Ah-mah-zing!” The bar was less than 10 minutes away, so we got there quickly and settled in at the bar. The whole night was a ton of fun. Tara and Lindsay…er…Becky….knew everyone. We drank Rolling Rock by the bucketful. Every time you turned around, someone else was buying a bucket of beers to share or a round of shots. The girls and I had migrated to a high-top table in the corner and the booze was definitely kicking in. When I ordered a couple of cokes in a row, Lindsay delicately asked, “Dude. What the fuck?” “Well, I figured you're not going to be in any shape to drive, so I figured I better stop now.” “HA! Why do you think we came up with that plan? It's only a 10 minute walk home if we cut through the high school grounds. We're gonna tell Dad that I didn't realize you drive a stick shift and I couldn't drive. Then, you can come and get the car in the morning!” The girls laughed, high-fived, and the night continued. I had some serious body weight on the sisters, but Man….could they put away the booze. Tara got up to use the restroom, which left me and Linsday alone. After a minute, she looked me in they eye, gave me a strangely-familiar sultry smile that I had seen from her sister and asked, “Like the shirt?” I looked at the shirt, with the clueless look only a guy can give and answered, “Yes, it looks great on you.” In truth, it was a nice top. It was a black and grey top that had a modern pattern throughout. The sleeves were different in that from the shoulders to the cuffs, there were criss-crossed pieces of fabric that left a lot of skin exposed. It wasn't really form-fitting, but Lindsey's pert breasts were definitely noticeable in it. “I actually got it from Tara. She left it behind after Christmas break and I snuck in and stole it from her. I just love the pattern. I think the sleeves are so cool.” Then, with her sister's trademark smirk she added, “ I really like the extra…. pattern and …. texture on the front.” Oh shit. I felt like one of those sitcoms where the main characters past flashes by in a quick montage … and I remembered the shirt. For my birthday in December, Tara and I went to New York City for the weekend. We went to a club and she wore that exact top with a pair of skintight leather pants and heels. We had been drinking and flirting and teasing all night long. BY the time we got back to the hotel, we fell into the elevator and started making out intensely. As we worked our tongues down each other's throats, I started unbuckling her belt. When I grabbed her wrists, she prepared herself for me to start undoing her pants and going after her pussy. Instead, I undid the belt halfway, threaded it through the webbing of her shirt cuffs and rethreaded it through the belt loops. Suddenly, she was like a prisoner with her hands cuffed behind her back. I continued to maul her mouth with mine until we heard the 'ding' of our floor. I walked her in front of me, with her hands bound until we got to our door. I fumbled out our key card and opened the door to our room. I pushed her inside and locked the door behind us. One of the most attractive things about Tara is that she would never back down. As I led her into the room, she got sharp sarcastic tone to her voice and said, “Nice, smart guy. But you can't get my pants down like this, can you?” “Who said I wanted what's in your pants?” I then pushed her so her legs hit the end of the bed. Before she could fall backwards…. I pushed her down and slid her forward onto her knees. She got the sexiest smile as I unbuckled my pants, dropped my boxers and simply said, “Suck.” Tara opened her mouth and enveloped my cock. She didn't start with anything delicate like licking and kissing, it was straight-up sucking. I'm average in the dick size department, so she took me in deep, getting all the way to my balls with ease, she came back and kept going with increasing suction. As I started to groan in pleasure, she began kissing the sides of my shaft until she got down to my balls. She took one, then, the other and licked and sucked on them. Then, it was back to my cock. She went back and forth, making it feel as good as any pussy I had ever been in. She backed off for a minute with I still remember as one of the sexiest sentences ever. “Either untie my hands so I can do this right, or grab me and fuck my face.” I chose the latter. I grabbed two fistfuls of her hair and started aggressively fucking her mouth and throat. To her credit, Tara kept up the suction and using her tongue as best she could while being forced on to my cock. Her eyes were watering a bit and as the pressure built, her saliva was dripping off her chin to the hotel carpet. Finally, when I hit my limit, I started to explode. The first two bursts went down her throat, but then I shocked her again. I pulled my cock from her mouth and let the remaining cum coat her face, mouth and the top of her shirt. When we finally finished, she said, “You fucker. This was a new shirt. But, with the grey pattern, I may just leave it like this. Everyone will think it's part of the shirt, but you and I know I'm wearing your cum around my neck like a medal every time I have it on.” All of this came flooding back to me in the bar as I struggled for words, “Uh…well, it looks great on you… Linds… er… Becky. I mean…. fuck.” Tara walked back to table to see my bright red face and Lindsay beaming. “He figured out the shirt didn't he?” Then to me, “Sorry, babe. You'll learn to understand my sister's weird sense of humor.” Lindsay added, “C'mon! Think of it as an April Fools joke! I mean, the look on your face was awesome.” “April Fools joke?” I questioned as I looked back at Tara, “How does she even know about that shirt?” “Babe. You're an only child. You don't understand how much sisters like to share things.” “What do you mean share?” I fumbled. That earned me a solid punch in the arm from Tara, which seemed to be happening fairly often on this trip. “Ew! Gross! I meant stories! Not men! This isn't some porn you watch when I'm not over your place, you sicko! So, don't get your "twin cest” fantasies all wound up in your head, you ass!“ "Fuck……” was pretty much all I could mutter as we went back to drinking. After another hour or so, we walked home. It was chilly, which helped us to sober up a bit, but we were still pretty buzzed. We walked in the door just after midnight and went to our rooms. At about 2:30, I felt something stirring on my bed. As I opened my blurry eyes, I could see the darkened form of Tara in our College's Sweatshirt and a pair of purple checkered panties slowly straddling me. “Shush. Everyone's sleeping” she whispered, “We have to be quiet.” She started gyrating those purple panties against my swelling cock while she kept her hands behind her on my thighs. My cock was rock hard and started to emerge from the fly in my boxers. I could feel the wetness of her pussy coming through her panties starting to lubricate my cock. As she started to moan, she lifted my hands under her sweatshirt to her tits. I grabbed a handful of her bare tits and started to feel her nipple stiffening. That's when it hit me. Twice. In the same second. Tara didn't own purple panties. In fact, she hates the color purple. Next, those weren't her tits. They were close. They were amazing. But they weren't Tara's. All of a sudden, I was like John Cena kicking out of a pin, or more accurately a fish flopping around on land. “Lindsay! Get off” I whisper-yelled and I gave her a solid shove. She landed on her ass at the foot of the bed. I was expecting tears, I was expecting a commotion, I was expecting to be killed by my girlfriend or her father. Instead, I got another smirk. “Oh well, I tried. April Fools?”  And she got up and left the room as quietly as she had entered. For the second time in as many days, I was left with a solid hard on, with the scent of an incredibly hot woman left behind. Needless to say, I got an awful night sleep. Between the alcohol, the late-night visit, and a raging hard-on, I had lost the sleep battle. I was also seriously wondering if I was somehow going to be blamed, then killed for the events of the night before. I needed to burn off some stress and the remaining alcohol, so I got up at 7:30 with the sun streaming through a crack in the window and threw on my running gear. I hit the empty neighborhood streets and started to sweat out everything from the night before. At the end of my loop, I ran back by the bar and picked up my car. As I arrived back at the house around 9:00 with coffee and donuts (in case I needed a bribe), everything seemed normal. I visited with everyone, went upstairs to grab a shower and get changed to help out for the day. When I came down at 10:15 – everything had gone to Hell. Lois was sobbing, Henry was on the phone yelling. Tara and Lindsay were trying to offer suggestions, while Josh and Denise stared silently. Pulling Tara aside, I asked, “T – what's going on?” “Turns out the caterer fucked up. They dropped off the food while you were upstairs, but they aren't staying to prep it, cook it, set it out or serve it. Lo is losing her mind, Henry is ready to punch someone.” Henry was screaming into the phone, “And I know more people in this town that I will destroy your business, do you understand?!?” “Hey Lois?” I tried to interrupt. But Lois couldn't stop crying, “Oh, girls, it's ruined. We can't get all this done in time for the guests.” “Uh….Tara? Henry?” I attempted to get anyone's attention. “Thanks For Nothing, Henry Yelled; and slammed the phone!! "Oh Henry…..Wah!” As they hysterics built to a crescendo, I finally spoke loudly enough to cut through the noise. “Uh, Anyone? Just Stop for a second!” While Lois was still whimpering, there was at least some silence. “No offense, but I'm literally standing right here. You know I spent all of college working in restaurants and bars, right? Plus, all my work experience is with caterers and managing events. I literally oversaw a functions department that did weddings for 2,000 people at a hotel in Dallas. I think I can handle 50 friends and family.” Tara was the first to speak, “Oh, my God, J ……thank you. But you can't do all this yourself. I'll help?” “Nope. But here's what I need: You get Lois ready like you planned. Henry, you and the kids finish cleaning up and putting up the tables and stuff. When the flowers get here, show them where it all goes. Linds – you knew a bunch of people working at the bar last night. Can you start texting, calling, whatever, and see if ANY of them can get their asses over here for a quick $100 bucks today? You and I will run that crew.” Lois finally was starting to calm down. “Are you sure, Jason? You're supposed to be a guest.” “Don't worry about it. This is literally what I do. Consider this my gift to you. I'll just keep the salt & pepper shakers that say 'Henry and Lois' for my place!” Henry gave me a big bear hug and said to me and Lindsay, “Tell your friends $200 each. If you can get them and pull this off, I'll pay anything.” And with that, everyone started their tasks. I grabbed the prep instructions the caterers had left and started to figure out timing and how the ovens worked. I was looking for some baking trays under the cabinets, when Lindsay came down and told me she had one bartender, a waitress and a waiter on their way. “Awesome. Any idea when they'll get here? I'm gonna need some help in here.” “Dude. I woke them up after they worked a night shift. Be glad we got who we did. I'll tell you what, I'll help you for now, then when they get here I'll get changed. That way, I'll know what's going on too. Once the party starts, I can be the runner for you and them.” I stood up, walked over and gave Lindsay a big hug. Once again, I felt her amazing tits – this time pressed up against me through her sweater. With that, we started working. I was scribbling on a pad I found, how I was going to schedule out the food so we had it flowing the whole time. Lindsay was unwrapping all the food trays and putting them in different parts of the kitchen at my direction. Time flew by and at noon the servers started showing up. Ed was actually one of the bartenders I met the night before. I had Lindsay show him to the patio, where the makeshift bar was set up. Then I told her to get dressed for the ceremony. I took Leslie & Marc and told them how we were laying things out. As soon as the ceremony ended, we wanted champagne poured and passed out for a toast. While they did that, I'd put the cold platters in the family room and living room. Then, we had time to start pulling the hot food, which they would pass from room to room. As the guests arrived, things picked up. The rooms were small and tight. Leslie, Marc and I were running around with platters of food and clearing old plates. Of course, we were also taking requests from people who were too lazy to walk the 30 feet to Ed at the bar. At about 1:30, I was in the kitchen, on the ground trying to reach into the back of a cabinet for a cake platter. I heard the familiar click-click of high heel shoes and squirmed out of the cabinet. I looked over to see that I was within a tongue-length of an amazing pair of legs perched on a pair of black heels. My eyes traveled up to see that Lindsay was wearing a short, pleated yellow skirt with a white blouse that accentuated her amazing tits. “You need anything, boss?” she asked. “Uh…no Linds. All is good here.” She took a half step forward and could have straddled my head and answered, “You sure?” “Lindsay, c'mon, kid, you gotta stop with the flirting. You're killing me.” Without moving, she continued, “I may have been drunk last night, but I figured out what tipped you off it wasn't me. First, it was my tits. You've felt Tara's enough to know mine weren't hers. I should have kept your hands outside the sweatshirt, Next, it was the panties. Tara hates purple. So, I fixed that, too,” With that, she lifted her skirt to show me her naked pussy. It's not an understatement to say it was amazing. The lips were shaved bare, but she kept a very thin, very fine landing strip that ended at the top of her cleft, just like her sister. Everything looked perfect and it was all…right…there. “I mean you haven't had a chance to stop and eat. Don't you want a snack?” Sounds of people heading our way made Lindsay drop her skirt, grab a platter of desserts and leave the room with a flounce. “I swear” I muttered to myself as I readjusted my dick yet again, “one more little prank from her and I'm gonna murder someone this weekend.” At this point, I was tired, sweating, and laying on the tile floor of a kitchen, trying to hide my erectness. Finally, after a few hours, the party started to wind down. Friends left, some family members remained. The immediate family all started to get changed out of their dressy clothes. At about 4:30, Tara found her way to the kitchen just I was cleaning up with the team. “Babe. Thank you so much. I talked to my parents and told them we are going to head out. Go get yourself together and let's get on the road. If anyone deserves a good dinner tonight, it's you.” I went upstairs and took my first good look at myself in the mirror. I was covered in food remnants and splatters. I undressed and threw on jeans, and a new shirt. I packed up my stuff, grabbed Tara's bags and loaded up the car. We went back in to say goodbye to everyone. Henry and Lo were still with some remaining guests on the patio. The kids were playing video games. Lindsay was with some cousins and friends drinking a glass of wine. Fortunately, she was dressed in a pair of shorts, t-shirt and keds. Henry and Lo couldn't stop hugging and thanking me. The kids gave me high-fives. Lindsay gave me what ended up being a fairly chaste hug. As we pulled away, she said to Tara, “You've got a good one, T!” As I made my way toward the door, Henry reached out to me again, taking me another big bear hug. I've got some size, but I thought he was going to break my ribs. He pulled away and said, “You're a good man, Jason. Thank you.” With that he stuck out his hand for a final handshake. Having worked in restaurants for years, I felt the familiar “gentlemen's tip” moving some folded bills into my hand. “Don't say a word” he said quietly. You saved us today and if the servers got $200…that's the least I can do for you.“ I thanked him, hugged him again and discreetly put the money in my pocket. Tara and I hopped in the car and started heading to Midnock Valley Resort. We had about a 3 hour drive and we just chatted about the party in general. About an hour in, Tara asked me, "So, did she hit on you?” I didn't know how to answer…so I went with a blank stare. “Babe. It's ok. She does it all the time. It's some little sister thing. Wants to prove that she can be as grown up as me. But the good news is, if you had done anything – she would have told me right away and tell me you're a scumbag.” “But…..” “Sisters before Misters. It's the golden rule.” “Thank goodness you're hot” I joked, “Because that may be the most fucked-up and lamest thing anyone has ever said to me.” With that, we started laughing and settled in for the rest of the drive. To be continued.. By TruthwithaTwist for Literotica.

Sports with Rod 3-29-2024 …Thanks for nothing Tarheels …A great bar trivia question and answer was created by a Red Sox Player …Your Reigning Minor Triple A Champion, Norfolk Admirals open the season tonight!

My girlfriend and her sister play dueling practical jokes on me. By TruthWithaTwist. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. I was midway through my first year of Graduate school, getting my MBA, when my girlfriend, Tara, asked if I wanted to drive to her family's house a few hours away for the weekend. It was her Mother and Step-Father's 20th wedding party and I jumped at the chance to get away from campus for a few days. The party was scheduled for April 2nd, but their actual anniversary was April 1st, which was a running joke in the family. The chance to get away sounded great and I knew that Tara and I would always find ways to entertain ourselves on long car rides. [[MORE]] I had started dating Tara at the beginning of the year, upon arriving at school. Tara was 3 years older than me at 28 years old. She had high cheekbones, silken brown hair and brown eyes that were expressive and sultry. She was the type of woman who could get you instantly hard with a smirk and sparkle from those eyes. Her body was amazing. Perfect tear-drop C-cup breasts, toned stomach and an ass that was just full enough to fill out the best pair of jeans. Within weeks of meeting, Tara and I became the “couple” in our friend group. Privately, we were a typical sex-focused young couple. Fortunately, we were both fairly adventurous and were willing to stretch the limits of our sexual fun. On Halloween, we found ourselves on the roof of my apartment building having sex dressed at Batman and Catwoman. One day, we decided to slink into the small town's only Adult Store where we bought a selection of toys to share, from handcuffs to vibrators to anal toys. After losing a bet on an Auburn/Alabama game on a Saturday, Tara found herself tied naked to the couch in my apartment for the duration of Sunday's Bears game as I alternated between watching the game and using her as I pleased. So, the idea of a road trip, even to her parents' house, was always a promising scenario. We didn't have classes on Friday so were on the road just after noon. It would take about 5 hours to drive to her house, so we filled my Jeep Cherokee with our bags and hit the road. I had met her parents before but it would be the first time I was meeting her younger sister, as well as her twin step-brother and step-sister. I was hearing that we were going to be doing some family-stuff on Saturday (visiting grandma, picking up stuff for the party, etc.) and then they were hosting an “anniversary brunch” at the house on Sunday. Since we both knew there would be no opportunity for frolicking while in her parents' house, Tara and I planned on heading out Sunday afternoon and stopping for the night somewhere along the way since we had no classes until Monday afternoon. Tara dozed off right out of town and started stirring after an hour or so of sleep. She was floating in and out of sleep, adjusting herself in the seat and staring out the window. I was focused on the road when I heard her mumble, “Oooh. Check that out” while looking out the window. Looking over, I saw her gesturing toward a billboard for the regions “Most Romantic Resort”. “Hot tubs! Private Cabins! Fireplaces” were all highlighted on the billboard. There was a picture of a couple cuddling in front of a fireplace to complete the obvious vibe they were going for. Tara grabbed a pen and scribbled down the phone number on a scrap of paper she found. She then grabbed my phone and called the property. I could only hear one side of the conversation where she was asking if there were rooms available, what types, how much and all those details. At one point, she reached into her purse, took out a credit card and read the number to the person she was talking to. After she hung up, she gave me an update. “So cool! They have cabins for Sunday night! The rate includes a dinner package in their restaurant; and listen about our room! It's a private cabin and it has an all-season hot tub, fireplace and she sold me on the ‘Romance Package' whatever THAT is” she laughed. “Well, I guess we're staying there, huh?” I chuckled back. “Of course! How can we pass up a cheesy romantic cabin in the hills, with dinner AND a romance package!” “So what the hell is in the Romance Package?” “I have no idea. The girl on the phone asked if we ‘would be interested in the Romance Package for an extra $35' what was I gonna say? No? Besides, it'll be fun. If we can get out of my parents' place by 4ish on Sunday, we could get there, have dinner, grab some drinks and then have fun in our cabin!” “But I still want to know what's in the romance package” I pressed, again. “Seriously? That's your big question? I have no idea. But it's a romantic resort we've never heard of, in the middle of nowhere - so I'm betting it's some of that kind of stuff from Spencer's Gifts. Y'know, flavored massage oil, blindfold, fake rose petals!” She started laughing at the expected lameness of the package. “Call back. Maybe there's a deluxe romance upgrade!” I laughed back, “See if we can get the handcuffs, vibrator, lube and a goat for $20 more!” I got a solid punch in the arm in addition to her response, “What the fuck is wrong with you? Of course you'd want that kind of stuff. Is that what you want? Me tied up in a remote cabin with a bunch of toys and a goat?” “I mean, besides the goat…..” I started, which earned me another punch in the arm. We settled back into the drive and were quiet for a few more minutes. When I looked over, I saw that Tara was definitely getting “fidgety” in her seat. 'You ok?“ I asked. “Um….I hate to actually admit this to you, but the thought of the cabin, you talking about tying me up, I'm actually getting wet.” Tara was slowly rubbing her thighs together, trying to build some friction. Her eyes were closed and her right hand was starting to rub her breast and nipple through her shirt. The subtle motions continued until she finally exclaimed, “Fuck….now I'm horny as shit.” She unbuckled her seatbelt and unbuttoned her jeans. Lifting her hips up off the seat, she slid her jeans and black panties down over her hips. Her pussy was now in clear view, she was mostly shaved, with a small landing strip. She settled back into her seat and thrust two of her fingers into her mouth. I watched as she got her index and middle finger nice and wet. With her eyes closed, she moved her hand down to her pussy and began to stroke up and down her lips. A moan escaped her as her fingers danced up and down, spreading her moisture over her most intimate area. She used her other hand to spread herself open as she started to flutter a finger on her clit. I had seen her masterbate enough to know this was her favorite approach to orgasm. A finger, vibrator or tongue flicking and dancing directly on her clit while having something penetrate her was a guaranteed path to a climax for her. As much as I wanted to reach over and touch her myself, I was struggling with a bunch of things, from watching the erotic scene next to me, to the constraints of my tightening jeans, to staying focused on the road. As I tried to watch her without getting us killed, I simply asked, “What are thinking about, babe?” “I just want to cum. I want you buried inside me, fucking me. I want you to bend me over, take me and fuck me hard.” I could tell Tara was getting close to coming, because she had this habit of getting red and flushed all across her chest when she came. When orgasms were especially intense, the splotches would extend all up her neck and into her cheeks. It was the tell-tale sign of a major Tara orgasm. Her hand picked up speed as I tried to push her over the edge. “Yeah? You looking forward to a good fuck? But what about your ass? You know how much I love your ass. Just think, when we have our cabin, I'll get my dick nice and wet in your pussy… I'll grab your ankles push them back so you are spread wide open.” Her hand was a blur at this point, she had worked two fingers from her other hand into her pussy while she continued the assault on her clit. “Uh….yeah….tell me….make me cum” she moaned. “I'll work that hard, lubed cock into your ass. Not thrusting yet. Just slowly pressing harder as I slide further into your hole.” “More…. almost there.” I reached down and adjusted my cock which was now uncomfortably wedged in some terrible trifecta of boxers, denim and seatbelt. I told her the rest of my plan. “I could reach over, pick up the vibrator and push it into your pussy, babe. When I turn it on, you'll feel me slamming into your ass, while the vibrator fills your pussy up. You'll feel me through the walls of your pussy pressing up against the toy, making us into one big vibe. Buzzing, thrusting, filling you up until you explode your hot juices all over the….” “Argh; Uhg; Uhg”. Tara's entire body clenched, spasmed, and shook for a moment. Her fingers kept dancing on her clit, but were slowing down as she recaptured her breath. She reached out and started to grab her breast before realizing that her hand was still covered in fluids. She flopped back in her seat, her chest and neck covered in bright red splotches, her legs still spread, gasping for air. For a minute, she looked like she had passed out, but slowly she got her breath and pulse back to normal. She said, “Fuck, dude. I'm going to show up at my parents house reeking of sex. We have to stop somewhere so I can clean up.” “Really? Not my fault. You started it with the whole hot tub, romance package thing. Consider this punishment for banishing me to the guest room for next 2 nights.” “I'm serious. Pull over when we can so I can get cleaned up.” She then added with a smirk, “And enjoy those blue balls that are gonna kick in REAL soon, smart ass. Maybe that will be my April Fools gift to you! Keep you hard all weekend, but not let you have any sort of release?” We did end up stopping at a rest plaza so Tara could get herself together. I stretched out for the last hour of the drive, trying to ignore the growing discomfort from my lack of personal release and hoping that Tara's didn't go through with her idea of a “fun” April Fools joke. When we finally pulled into the house, it was your typical suburban home. The family all came out to greet us. Henry and Lois, Tara's parents were the first ones out. They looked like two, normal American parents. Henry had a salt and pepper beard, and was a bit taller and heavier than me. Lois had a definite resemblance to Tara, but was shorter, stouter and jovial. In all honesty, I could 100% see them both using some white hair spray, padding and putting on costumes and being Mr. & Mrs. Claus at the local church or Christmas parade. I had met them before, so I was greeted with hugs and warm welcomes. Next up were Tara's much younger twin half-siblings, Josh and Denise. They looked to be at the start of their awkward teenage years with graphic t-shirts and overall disinterested looks on their faces. We worked our way into the house with our bags. Lois started, “Tara, your room is all set. Jason, we have a guest room upstairs next to Lindsay's room for you.” That's when we heard a voice from upstairs. “Hey bee otch. What's up?” I looked up and did a double take. I had seen pictures of Tara's younger sister Lindsay, but they were older pictures – from family vacations at Disney and the like. The young woman coming down the stairs instantly let me know what Tara looked like 8 years earlier. They could have been twins. Same hair, same eyes, same smile. Worse for me, she had the same body as Tara – just a bit firmer and younger. I could tell because Lindsay was dressed in a half-shirt showing her school logo and a pair of gray sweats emblazoned with PINK down the leg. Tara and Linsday hugged, while Lois hung her head with a voice only a mother can generate, “Really Lindsay? You couldn't have put on something other than what you sleep in to greet them?” “I did! I put on a bra!” laughed Lindsay as she purposely jumped up and down a bit. “Lindsay! Go get changed! We're going to Alfredo's for dinner. Now!” Henry's voice had that “father” tone that left no room for debate. We all separated to our rooms. Tara's was at the top of the stairs, then the twins rooms on each side of the hallway, then a bathroom, then Lindsay's whose room was next to mine in the corner. Henry & Lois had their room on the main floor down the hall from the kitchen where we walked in. We all went to dinner, got home, watched TV, and people slowly began drifting off to their rooms. I was tired from driving, so I went up and got settled in. I could hear people shuffling around as read a book in bed. In the room next door, I could hear Tara and Lindsey chatting and laughing as I dozed off. Saturday came and it was a cool, damp day. We all came down for breakfast and Tara and I maintained that awkward, “showing affection, but not being gross or inappropriate” you do around parents. We all had our list of errands to do that day. I was picking up booze for the party, plus some tables and linens since I had an SUV. Henry and Josh helped with some of it and we made multiple trips back and forth to stores all day long. Tara helped Lois pick up her dress and went to visit her grandma. For dinner, pizza and salads were ordered for the house and we all just went over the plan for the next day. Caterers were coming at 10 with the food, they were going to prep, cook and serve for when the party started at noon. Tara and Lindsay were going to help Lois get ready (they were renewing their vows to start the festivities) while Josh & Denise were told to get dressed and keep the house neat. After dinner, Tara asked if I wanted to go to the local pub. It was your typical local bar with beers, basic pub food and all locals. “Can I come too?” said Lindsay. There were some strange looks around the table until Lois said, “I think you have to be 21 on weekends.” “Not if you sit at a table at the bar, not the bar, itself. There are kids in there all the time.” Rebutted Lindsay. “Besides, if I go, I can drive home so you two can drink!” Tara jumped in, “Mom. Don't worry about it – I never get to see my sister, she can come along. Let's all get changed and go in 30.” With that, we cleaned up, freshened up, and went out to my car. As soon as we got in the car, the sisters starting giggling. Tara turned and looked at her sister in the back seat, “Ok to eat at the table. You are unreal!” “It's true….. technically!” Lindsay retorted. “OK, but since you're visiting from Connecticut, wouldn't you rather sit at the bar with the grown ups?” They then degenerated into torrents of laughter. “Ok”, I asked. “What am I missing?” Tara finally smartened me up, “Linds has a fake ID. Literally everyone knows about it ….. except Dad. Since he serves on the college faculty, we don't want him to have to lie, so we keep it from him. But yeah literally everyone else knows. Mom, me, the bartenders, everyone knows that "Becky” here just turned 20.“ Lindsay chimed in with, "I mean, I literally went to school with half the people that work there. The fact that they all know to call me Becky is Ah-mah-zing!” The bar was less than 10 minutes away, so we got there quickly and settled in at the bar. The whole night was a ton of fun. Tara and Lindsay…er…Becky….knew everyone. We drank Rolling Rock by the bucketful. Every time you turned around, someone else was buying a bucket of beers to share or a round of shots. The girls and I had migrated to a high-top table in the corner and the booze was definitely kicking in. When I ordered a couple of cokes in a row, Lindsay delicately asked, “Dude. What the fuck?” “Well, I figured you're not going to be in any shape to drive, so I figured I better stop now.” “HA! Why do you think we came up with that plan? It's only a 10 minute walk home if we cut through the high school grounds. We're gonna tell Dad that I didn't realize you drive a stick shift and I couldn't drive. Then, you can come and get the car in the morning!” The girls laughed, high-fived, and the night continued. I had some serious body weight on the sisters, but Man….could they put away the booze. Tara got up to use the restroom, which left me and Linsday alone. After a minute, she looked me in they eye, gave me a strangely-familiar sultry smile that I had seen from her sister and asked, “Like the shirt?” I looked at the shirt, with the clueless look only a guy can give and answered, “Yes, it looks great on you.” In truth, it was a nice top. It was a black and grey top that had a modern pattern throughout. The sleeves were different in that from the shoulders to the cuffs, there were criss-crossed pieces of fabric that left a lot of skin exposed. It wasn't really form-fitting, but Lindsey's pert breasts were definitely noticeable in it. “I actually got it from Tara. She left it behind after Christmas break and I snuck in and stole it from her. I just love the pattern. I think the sleeves are so cool.” Then, with her sister's trademark smirk she added, “ I really like the extra…. pattern and …. texture on the front.” Oh shit. I felt like one of those sitcoms where the main characters past flashes by in a quick montage … and I remembered the shirt. For my birthday in December, Tara and I went to New York City for the weekend. We went to a club and she wore that exact top with a pair of skintight leather pants and heels. We had been drinking and flirting and teasing all night long. BY the time we got back to the hotel, we fell into the elevator and started making out intensely. As we worked our tongues down each other's throats, I started unbuckling her belt. When I grabbed her wrists, she prepared herself for me to start undoing her pants and going after her pussy. Instead, I undid the belt halfway, threaded it through the webbing of her shirt cuffs and rethreaded it through the belt loops. Suddenly, she was like a prisoner with her hands cuffed behind her back. I continued to maul her mouth with mine until we heard the 'ding' of our floor. I walked her in front of me, with her hands bound until we got to our door. I fumbled out our key card and opened the door to our room. I pushed her inside and locked the door behind us. One of the most attractive things about Tara is that she would never back down. As I led her into the room, she got sharp sarcastic tone to her voice and said, “Nice, smart guy. But you can't get my pants down like this, can you?” “Who said I wanted what's in your pants?” I then pushed her so her legs hit the end of the bed. Before she could fall backwards…. I pushed her down and slid her forward onto her knees. She got the sexiest smile as I unbuckled my pants, dropped my boxers and simply said, “Suck.” Tara opened her mouth and enveloped my cock. She didn't start with anything delicate like licking and kissing, it was straight-up sucking. I'm average in the dick size department, so she took me in deep, getting all the way to my balls with ease, she came back and kept going with increasing suction. As I started to groan in pleasure, she began kissing the sides of my shaft until she got down to my balls. She took one, then, the other and licked and sucked on them. Then, it was back to my cock. She went back and forth, making it feel as good as any pussy I had ever been in. She backed off for a minute with I still remember as one of the sexiest sentences ever. “Either untie my hands so I can do this right, or grab me and fuck my face.” I chose the latter. I grabbed two fistfuls of her hair and started aggressively fucking her mouth and throat. To her credit, Tara kept up the suction and using her tongue as best she could while being forced on to my cock. Her eyes were watering a bit and as the pressure built, her saliva was dripping off her chin to the hotel carpet. Finally, when I hit my limit, I started to explode. The first two bursts went down her throat, but then I shocked her again. I pulled my cock from her mouth and let the remaining cum coat her face, mouth and the top of her shirt. When we finally finished, she said, “You fucker. This was a new shirt. But, with the grey pattern, I may just leave it like this. Everyone will think it's part of the shirt, but you and I know I'm wearing your cum around my neck like a medal every time I have it on.” All of this came flooding back to me in the bar as I struggled for words, “Uh…well, it looks great on you… Linds… er… Becky. I mean…. fuck.” Tara walked back to table to see my bright red face and Lindsay beaming. “He figured out the shirt didn't he?” Then to me, “Sorry, babe. You'll learn to understand my sister's weird sense of humor.” Lindsay added, “C'mon! Think of it as an April Fools joke! I mean, the look on your face was awesome.” “April Fools joke?” I questioned as I looked back at Tara, “How does she even know about that shirt?” “Babe. You're an only child. You don't understand how much sisters like to share things.” “What do you mean share?” I fumbled. That earned me a solid punch in the arm from Tara, which seemed to be happening fairly often on this trip. “Ew! Gross! I meant stories! Not men! This isn't some porn you watch when I'm not over your place, you sicko! So, don't get your "twin cest” fantasies all wound up in your head, you ass!“ "Fuck……” was pretty much all I could mutter as we went back to drinking. After another hour or so, we walked home. It was chilly, which helped us to sober up a bit, but we were still pretty buzzed. We walked in the door just after midnight and went to our rooms. At about 2:30, I felt something stirring on my bed. As I opened my blurry eyes, I could see the darkened form of Tara in our College's Sweatshirt and a pair of purple checkered panties slowly straddling me. “Shush. Everyone's sleeping” she whispered, “We have to be quiet.” She started gyrating those purple panties against my swelling cock while she kept her hands behind her on my thighs. My cock was rock hard and started to emerge from the fly in my boxers. I could feel the wetness of her pussy coming through her panties starting to lubricate my cock. As she started to moan, she lifted my hands under her sweatshirt to her tits. I grabbed a handful of her bare tits and started to feel her nipple stiffening. That's when it hit me. Twice. In the same second. Tara didn't own purple panties. In fact, she hates the color purple. Next, those weren't her tits. They were close. They were amazing. But they weren't Tara's. All of a sudden, I was like John Cena kicking out of a pin, or more accurately a fish flopping around on land. “Lindsay! Get off” I whisper-yelled and I gave her a solid shove. She landed on her ass at the foot of the bed. I was expecting tears, I was expecting a commotion, I was expecting to be killed by my girlfriend or her father. Instead, I got another smirk. “Oh well, I tried. April Fools?”  And she got up and left the room as quietly as she had entered. For the second time in as many days, I was left with a solid hard on, with the scent of an incredibly hot woman left behind. Needless to say, I got an awful night sleep. Between the alcohol, the late-night visit, and a raging hard-on, I had lost the sleep battle. I was also seriously wondering if I was somehow going to be blamed, then killed for the events of the night before. I needed to burn off some stress and the remaining alcohol, so I got up at 7:30 with the sun streaming through a crack in the window and threw on my running gear. I hit the empty neighborhood streets and started to sweat out everything from the night before. At the end of my loop, I ran back by the bar and picked up my car. As I arrived back at the house around 9:00 with coffee and donuts (in case I needed a bribe), everything seemed normal. I visited with everyone, went upstairs to grab a shower and get changed to help out for the day. When I came down at 10:15 – everything had gone to Hell. Lois was sobbing, Henry was on the phone yelling. Tara and Lindsay were trying to offer suggestions, while Josh and Denise stared silently. Pulling Tara aside, I asked, “T – what's going on?” “Turns out the caterer fucked up. They dropped off the food while you were upstairs, but they aren't staying to prep it, cook it, set it out or serve it. Lo is losing her mind, Henry is ready to punch someone.” Henry was screaming into the phone, “And I know more people in this town that I will destroy your business, do you understand?!?” “Hey Lois?” I tried to interrupt. But Lois couldn't stop crying, “Oh, girls, it's ruined. We can't get all this done in time for the guests.” “Uh….Tara? Henry?” I attempted to get anyone's attention. “Thanks For Nothing, Henry Yelled; and slammed the phone!! "Oh Henry…..Wah!” As they hysterics built to a crescendo, I finally spoke loudly enough to cut through the noise. “Uh, Anyone? Just Stop for a second!” While Lois was still whimpering, there was at least some silence. “No offense, but I'm literally standing right here. You know I spent all of college working in restaurants and bars, right? Plus, all my work experience is with caterers and managing events. I literally oversaw a functions department that did weddings for 2,000 people at a hotel in Dallas. I think I can handle 50 friends and family.” Tara was the first to speak, “Oh, my God, J ……thank you. But you can't do all this yourself. I'll help?” “Nope. But here's what I need: You get Lois ready like you planned. Henry, you and the kids finish cleaning up and putting up the tables and stuff. When the flowers get here, show them where it all goes. Linds – you knew a bunch of people working at the bar last night. Can you start texting, calling, whatever, and see if ANY of them can get their asses over here for a quick $100 bucks today? You and I will run that crew.” Lois finally was starting to calm down. “Are you sure, Jason? You're supposed to be a guest.” “Don't worry about it. This is literally what I do. Consider this my gift to you. I'll just keep the salt & pepper shakers that say 'Henry and Lois' for my place!” Henry gave me a big bear hug and said to me and Lindsay, “Tell your friends $200 each. If you can get them and pull this off, I'll pay anything.” And with that, everyone started their tasks. I grabbed the prep instructions the caterers had left and started to figure out timing and how the ovens worked. I was looking for some baking trays under the cabinets, when Lindsay came down and told me she had one bartender, a waitress and a waiter on their way. “Awesome. Any idea when they'll get here? I'm gonna need some help in here.” “Dude. I woke them up after they worked a night shift. Be glad we got who we did. I'll tell you what, I'll help you for now, then when they get here I'll get changed. That way, I'll know what's going on too. Once the party starts, I can be the runner for you and them.” I stood up, walked over and gave Lindsay a big hug. Once again, I felt her amazing tits – this time pressed up against me through her sweater. With that, we started working. I was scribbling on a pad I found, how I was going to schedule out the food so we had it flowing the whole time. Lindsay was unwrapping all the food trays and putting them in different parts of the kitchen at my direction. Time flew by and at noon the servers started showing up. Ed was actually one of the bartenders I met the night before. I had Lindsay show him to the patio, where the makeshift bar was set up. Then I told her to get dressed for the ceremony. I took Leslie & Marc and told them how we were laying things out. As soon as the ceremony ended, we wanted champagne poured and passed out for a toast. While they did that, I'd put the cold platters in the family room and living room. Then, we had time to start pulling the hot food, which they would pass from room to room. As the guests arrived, things picked up. The rooms were small and tight. Leslie, Marc and I were running around with platters of food and clearing old plates. Of course, we were also taking requests from people who were too lazy to walk the 30 feet to Ed at the bar. At about 1:30, I was in the kitchen, on the ground trying to reach into the back of a cabinet for a cake platter. I heard the familiar click-click of high heel shoes and squirmed out of the cabinet. I looked over to see that I was within a tongue-length of an amazing pair of legs perched on a pair of black heels. My eyes traveled up to see that Lindsay was wearing a short, pleated yellow skirt with a white blouse that accentuated her amazing tits. “You need anything, boss?” she asked. “Uh…no Linds. All is good here.” She took a half step forward and could have straddled my head and answered, “You sure?” “Lindsay, c'mon, kid, you gotta stop with the flirting. You're killing me.” Without moving, she continued, “I may have been drunk last night, but I figured out what tipped you off it wasn't me. First, it was my tits. You've felt Tara's enough to know mine weren't hers. I should have kept your hands outside the sweatshirt, Next, it was the panties. Tara hates purple. So, I fixed that, too,” With that, she lifted her skirt to show me her naked pussy. It's not an understatement to say it was amazing. The lips were shaved bare, but she kept a very thin, very fine landing strip that ended at the top of her cleft, just like her sister. Everything looked perfect and it was all…right…there. “I mean you haven't had a chance to stop and eat. Don't you want a snack?” Sounds of people heading our way made Lindsay drop her skirt, grab a platter of desserts and leave the room with a flounce. “I swear” I muttered to myself as I readjusted my dick yet again, “one more little prank from her and I'm gonna murder someone this weekend.” At this point, I was tired, sweating, and laying on the tile floor of a kitchen, trying to hide my erectness. Finally, after a few hours, the party started to wind down. Friends left, some family members remained. The immediate family all started to get changed out of their dressy clothes. At about 4:30, Tara found her way to the kitchen just I was cleaning up with the team. “Babe. Thank you so much. I talked to my parents and told them we are going to head out. Go get yourself together and let's get on the road. If anyone deserves a good dinner tonight, it's you.” I went upstairs and took my first good look at myself in the mirror. I was covered in food remnants and splatters. I undressed and threw on jeans, and a new shirt. I packed up my stuff, grabbed Tara's bags and loaded up the car. We went back in to say goodbye to everyone. Henry and Lo were still with some remaining guests on the patio. The kids were playing video games. Lindsay was with some cousins and friends drinking a glass of wine. Fortunately, she was dressed in a pair of shorts, t-shirt and keds. Henry and Lo couldn't stop hugging and thanking me. The kids gave me high-fives. Lindsay gave me what ended up being a fairly chaste hug. As we pulled away, she said to Tara, “You've got a good one, T!” As I made my way toward the door, Henry reached out to me again, taking me another big bear hug. I've got some size, but I thought he was going to break my ribs. He pulled away and said, “You're a good man, Jason. Thank you.” With that he stuck out his hand for a final handshake. Having worked in restaurants for years, I felt the familiar “gentlemen's tip” moving some folded bills into my hand. “Don't say a word” he said quietly. You saved us today and if the servers got $200…that's the least I can do for you.“ I thanked him, hugged him again and discreetly put the money in my pocket. Tara and I hopped in the car and started heading to Midnock Valley Resort. We had about a 3 hour drive and we just chatted about the party in general. About an hour in, Tara asked me, "So, did she hit on you?” I didn't know how to answer…so I went with a blank stare. “Babe. It's ok. She does it all the time. It's some little sister thing. Wants to prove that she can be as grown up as me. But the good news is, if you had done anything – she would have told me right away and tell me you're a scumbag.” “But…..” “Sisters before Misters. It's the golden rule.” “Thank goodness you're hot” I joked, “Because that may be the most fucked-up and lamest thing anyone has ever said to me.” With that, we started laughing and settled in for the rest of the drive. To be continued.. By TruthwithaTwist for Literotica.

My girlfriend and her sister play dueling practical jokes on me. By TruthWithaTwist. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. I was midway through my first year of Graduate school, getting my MBA, when my girlfriend, Tara, asked if I wanted to drive to her family's house a few hours away for the weekend. It was her Mother and Step-Father's 20th wedding party and I jumped at the chance to get away from campus for a few days. The party was scheduled for April 2nd, but their actual anniversary was April 1st, which was a running joke in the family. The chance to get away sounded great and I knew that Tara and I would always find ways to entertain ourselves on long car rides. [[MORE]] I had started dating Tara at the beginning of the year, upon arriving at school. Tara was 3 years older than me at 28 years old. She had high cheekbones, silken brown hair and brown eyes that were expressive and sultry. She was the type of woman who could get you instantly hard with a smirk and sparkle from those eyes. Her body was amazing. Perfect tear-drop C-cup breasts, toned stomach and an ass that was just full enough to fill out the best pair of jeans. Within weeks of meeting, Tara and I became the “couple” in our friend group. Privately, we were a typical sex-focused young couple. Fortunately, we were both fairly adventurous and were willing to stretch the limits of our sexual fun. On Halloween, we found ourselves on the roof of my apartment building having sex dressed at Batman and Catwoman. One day, we decided to slink into the small town's only Adult Store where we bought a selection of toys to share, from handcuffs to vibrators to anal toys. After losing a bet on an Auburn/Alabama game on a Saturday, Tara found herself tied naked to the couch in my apartment for the duration of Sunday's Bears game as I alternated between watching the game and using her as I pleased. So, the idea of a road trip, even to her parents' house, was always a promising scenario. We didn't have classes on Friday so were on the road just after noon. It would take about 5 hours to drive to her house, so we filled my Jeep Cherokee with our bags and hit the road. I had met her parents before but it would be the first time I was meeting her younger sister, as well as her twin step-brother and step-sister. I was hearing that we were going to be doing some family-stuff on Saturday (visiting grandma, picking up stuff for the party, etc.) and then they were hosting an “anniversary brunch” at the house on Sunday. Since we both knew there would be no opportunity for frolicking while in her parents' house, Tara and I planned on heading out Sunday afternoon and stopping for the night somewhere along the way since we had no classes until Monday afternoon. Tara dozed off right out of town and started stirring after an hour or so of sleep. She was floating in and out of sleep, adjusting herself in the seat and staring out the window. I was focused on the road when I heard her mumble, “Oooh. Check that out” while looking out the window. Looking over, I saw her gesturing toward a billboard for the regions “Most Romantic Resort”. “Hot tubs! Private Cabins! Fireplaces” were all highlighted on the billboard. There was a picture of a couple cuddling in front of a fireplace to complete the obvious vibe they were going for. Tara grabbed a pen and scribbled down the phone number on a scrap of paper she found. She then grabbed my phone and called the property. I could only hear one side of the conversation where she was asking if there were rooms available, what types, how much and all those details. At one point, she reached into her purse, took out a credit card and read the number to the person she was talking to. After she hung up, she gave me an update. “So cool! They have cabins for Sunday night! The rate includes a dinner package in their restaurant; and listen about our room! It's a private cabin and it has an all-season hot tub, fireplace and she sold me on the ‘Romance Package' whatever THAT is” she laughed. “Well, I guess we're staying there, huh?” I chuckled back. “Of course! How can we pass up a cheesy romantic cabin in the hills, with dinner AND a romance package!” “So what the hell is in the Romance Package?” “I have no idea. The girl on the phone asked if we ‘would be interested in the Romance Package for an extra $35' what was I gonna say? No? Besides, it'll be fun. If we can get out of my parents' place by 4ish on Sunday, we could get there, have dinner, grab some drinks and then have fun in our cabin!” “But I still want to know what's in the romance package” I pressed, again. “Seriously? That's your big question? I have no idea. But it's a romantic resort we've never heard of, in the middle of nowhere - so I'm betting it's some of that kind of stuff from Spencer's Gifts. Y'know, flavored massage oil, blindfold, fake rose petals!” She started laughing at the expected lameness of the package. “Call back. Maybe there's a deluxe romance upgrade!” I laughed back, “See if we can get the handcuffs, vibrator, lube and a goat for $20 more!” I got a solid punch in the arm in addition to her response, “What the fuck is wrong with you? Of course you'd want that kind of stuff. Is that what you want? Me tied up in a remote cabin with a bunch of toys and a goat?” “I mean, besides the goat…..” I started, which earned me another punch in the arm. We settled back into the drive and were quiet for a few more minutes. When I looked over, I saw that Tara was definitely getting “fidgety” in her seat. 'You ok?“ I asked. “Um….I hate to actually admit this to you, but the thought of the cabin, you talking about tying me up, I'm actually getting wet.” Tara was slowly rubbing her thighs together, trying to build some friction. Her eyes were closed and her right hand was starting to rub her breast and nipple through her shirt. The subtle motions continued until she finally exclaimed, “Fuck….now I'm horny as shit.” She unbuckled her seatbelt and unbuttoned her jeans. Lifting her hips up off the seat, she slid her jeans and black panties down over her hips. Her pussy was now in clear view, she was mostly shaved, with a small landing strip. She settled back into her seat and thrust two of her fingers into her mouth. I watched as she got her index and middle finger nice and wet. With her eyes closed, she moved her hand down to her pussy and began to stroke up and down her lips. A moan escaped her as her fingers danced up and down, spreading her moisture over her most intimate area. She used her other hand to spread herself open as she started to flutter a finger on her clit. I had seen her masterbate enough to know this was her favorite approach to orgasm. A finger, vibrator or tongue flicking and dancing directly on her clit while having something penetrate her was a guaranteed path to a climax for her. As much as I wanted to reach over and touch her myself, I was struggling with a bunch of things, from watching the erotic scene next to me, to the constraints of my tightening jeans, to staying focused on the road. As I tried to watch her without getting us killed, I simply asked, “What are thinking about, babe?” “I just want to cum. I want you buried inside me, fucking me. I want you to bend me over, take me and fuck me hard.” I could tell Tara was getting close to coming, because she had this habit of getting red and flushed all across her chest when she came. When orgasms were especially intense, the splotches would extend all up her neck and into her cheeks. It was the tell-tale sign of a major Tara orgasm. Her hand picked up speed as I tried to push her over the edge. “Yeah? You looking forward to a good fuck? But what about your ass? You know how much I love your ass. Just think, when we have our cabin, I'll get my dick nice and wet in your pussy… I'll grab your ankles push them back so you are spread wide open.” Her hand was a blur at this point, she had worked two fingers from her other hand into her pussy while she continued the assault on her clit. “Uh….yeah….tell me….make me cum” she moaned. “I'll work that hard, lubed cock into your ass. Not thrusting yet. Just slowly pressing harder as I slide further into your hole.” “More…. almost there.” I reached down and adjusted my cock which was now uncomfortably wedged in some terrible trifecta of boxers, denim and seatbelt. I told her the rest of my plan. “I could reach over, pick up the vibrator and push it into your pussy, babe. When I turn it on, you'll feel me slamming into your ass, while the vibrator fills your pussy up. You'll feel me through the walls of your pussy pressing up against the toy, making us into one big vibe. Buzzing, thrusting, filling you up until you explode your hot juices all over the….” “Argh; Uhg; Uhg”. Tara's entire body clenched, spasmed, and shook for a moment. Her fingers kept dancing on her clit, but were slowing down as she recaptured her breath. She reached out and started to grab her breast before realizing that her hand was still covered in fluids. She flopped back in her seat, her chest and neck covered in bright red splotches, her legs still spread, gasping for air. For a minute, she looked like she had passed out, but slowly she got her breath and pulse back to normal. She said, “Fuck, dude. I'm going to show up at my parents house reeking of sex. We have to stop somewhere so I can clean up.” “Really? Not my fault. You started it with the whole hot tub, romance package thing. Consider this punishment for banishing me to the guest room for next 2 nights.” “I'm serious. Pull over when we can so I can get cleaned up.” She then added with a smirk, “And enjoy those blue balls that are gonna kick in REAL soon, smart ass. Maybe that will be my April Fools gift to you! Keep you hard all weekend, but not let you have any sort of release?” We did end up stopping at a rest plaza so Tara could get herself together. I stretched out for the last hour of the drive, trying to ignore the growing discomfort from my lack of personal release and hoping that Tara's didn't go through with her idea of a “fun” April Fools joke. When we finally pulled into the house, it was your typical suburban home. The family all came out to greet us. Henry and Lois, Tara's parents were the first ones out. They looked like two, normal American parents. Henry had a salt and pepper beard, and was a bit taller and heavier than me. Lois had a definite resemblance to Tara, but was shorter, stouter and jovial. In all honesty, I could 100% see them both using some white hair spray, padding and putting on costumes and being Mr. & Mrs. Claus at the local church or Christmas parade. I had met them before, so I was greeted with hugs and warm welcomes. Next up were Tara's much younger twin half-siblings, Josh and Denise. They looked to be at the start of their awkward teenage years with graphic t-shirts and overall disinterested looks on their faces. We worked our way into the house with our bags. Lois started, “Tara, your room is all set. Jason, we have a guest room upstairs next to Lindsay's room for you.” That's when we heard a voice from upstairs. “Hey bee otch. What's up?” I looked up and did a double take. I had seen pictures of Tara's younger sister Lindsay, but they were older pictures – from family vacations at Disney and the like. The young woman coming down the stairs instantly let me know what Tara looked like 8 years earlier. They could have been twins. Same hair, same eyes, same smile. Worse for me, she had the same body as Tara – just a bit firmer and younger. I could tell because Lindsay was dressed in a half-shirt showing her school logo and a pair of gray sweats emblazoned with PINK down the leg. Tara and Linsday hugged, while Lois hung her head with a voice only a mother can generate, “Really Lindsay? You couldn't have put on something other than what you sleep in to greet them?” “I did! I put on a bra!” laughed Lindsay as she purposely jumped up and down a bit. “Lindsay! Go get changed! We're going to Alfredo's for dinner. Now!” Henry's voice had that “father” tone that left no room for debate. We all separated to our rooms. Tara's was at the top of the stairs, then the twins rooms on each side of the hallway, then a bathroom, then Lindsay's whose room was next to mine in the corner. Henry & Lois had their room on the main floor down the hall from the kitchen where we walked in. We all went to dinner, got home, watched TV, and people slowly began drifting off to their rooms. I was tired from driving, so I went up and got settled in. I could hear people shuffling around as read a book in bed. In the room next door, I could hear Tara and Lindsey chatting and laughing as I dozed off. Saturday came and it was a cool, damp day. We all came down for breakfast and Tara and I maintained that awkward, “showing affection, but not being gross or inappropriate” you do around parents. We all had our list of errands to do that day. I was picking up booze for the party, plus some tables and linens since I had an SUV. Henry and Josh helped with some of it and we made multiple trips back and forth to stores all day long. Tara helped Lois pick up her dress and went to visit her grandma. For dinner, pizza and salads were ordered for the house and we all just went over the plan for the next day. Caterers were coming at 10 with the food, they were going to prep, cook and serve for when the party started at noon. Tara and Lindsay were going to help Lois get ready (they were renewing their vows to start the festivities) while Josh & Denise were told to get dressed and keep the house neat. After dinner, Tara asked if I wanted to go to the local pub. It was your typical local bar with beers, basic pub food and all locals. “Can I come too?” said Lindsay. There were some strange looks around the table until Lois said, “I think you have to be 21 on weekends.” “Not if you sit at a table at the bar, not the bar, itself. There are kids in there all the time.” Rebutted Lindsay. “Besides, if I go, I can drive home so you two can drink!” Tara jumped in, “Mom. Don't worry about it – I never get to see my sister, she can come along. Let's all get changed and go in 30.” With that, we cleaned up, freshened up, and went out to my car. As soon as we got in the car, the sisters starting giggling. Tara turned and looked at her sister in the back seat, “Ok to eat at the table. You are unreal!” “It's true….. technically!” Lindsay retorted. “OK, but since you're visiting from Connecticut, wouldn't you rather sit at the bar with the grown ups?” They then degenerated into torrents of laughter. “Ok”, I asked. “What am I missing?” Tara finally smartened me up, “Linds has a fake ID. Literally everyone knows about it ….. except Dad. Since he serves on the college faculty, we don't want him to have to lie, so we keep it from him. But yeah literally everyone else knows. Mom, me, the bartenders, everyone knows that "Becky” here just turned 20.“ Lindsay chimed in with, "I mean, I literally went to school with half the people that work there. The fact that they all know to call me Becky is Ah-mah-zing!” The bar was less than 10 minutes away, so we got there quickly and settled in at the bar. The whole night was a ton of fun. Tara and Lindsay…er…Becky….knew everyone. We drank Rolling Rock by the bucketful. Every time you turned around, someone else was buying a bucket of beers to share or a round of shots. The girls and I had migrated to a high-top table in the corner and the booze was definitely kicking in. When I ordered a couple of cokes in a row, Lindsay delicately asked, “Dude. What the fuck?” “Well, I figured you're not going to be in any shape to drive, so I figured I better stop now.” “HA! Why do you think we came up with that plan? It's only a 10 minute walk home if we cut through the high school grounds. We're gonna tell Dad that I didn't realize you drive a stick shift and I couldn't drive. Then, you can come and get the car in the morning!” The girls laughed, high-fived, and the night continued. I had some serious body weight on the sisters, but Man….could they put away the booze. Tara got up to use the restroom, which left me and Linsday alone. After a minute, she looked me in they eye, gave me a strangely-familiar sultry smile that I had seen from her sister and asked, “Like the shirt?” I looked at the shirt, with the clueless look only a guy can give and answered, “Yes, it looks great on you.” In truth, it was a nice top. It was a black and grey top that had a modern pattern throughout. The sleeves were different in that from the shoulders to the cuffs, there were criss-crossed pieces of fabric that left a lot of skin exposed. It wasn't really form-fitting, but Lindsey's pert breasts were definitely noticeable in it. “I actually got it from Tara. She left it behind after Christmas break and I snuck in and stole it from her. I just love the pattern. I think the sleeves are so cool.” Then, with her sister's trademark smirk she added, “ I really like the extra…. pattern and …. texture on the front.” Oh shit. I felt like one of those sitcoms where the main characters past flashes by in a quick montage … and I remembered the shirt. For my birthday in December, Tara and I went to New York City for the weekend. We went to a club and she wore that exact top with a pair of skintight leather pants and heels. We had been drinking and flirting and teasing all night long. BY the time we got back to the hotel, we fell into the elevator and started making out intensely. As we worked our tongues down each other's throats, I started unbuckling her belt. When I grabbed her wrists, she prepared herself for me to start undoing her pants and going after her pussy. Instead, I undid the belt halfway, threaded it through the webbing of her shirt cuffs and rethreaded it through the belt loops. Suddenly, she was like a prisoner with her hands cuffed behind her back. I continued to maul her mouth with mine until we heard the 'ding' of our floor. I walked her in front of me, with her hands bound until we got to our door. I fumbled out our key card and opened the door to our room. I pushed her inside and locked the door behind us. One of the most attractive things about Tara is that she would never back down. As I led her into the room, she got sharp sarcastic tone to her voice and said, “Nice, smart guy. But you can't get my pants down like this, can you?” “Who said I wanted what's in your pants?” I then pushed her so her legs hit the end of the bed. Before she could fall backwards…. I pushed her down and slid her forward onto her knees. She got the sexiest smile as I unbuckled my pants, dropped my boxers and simply said, “Suck.” Tara opened her mouth and enveloped my cock. She didn't start with anything delicate like licking and kissing, it was straight-up sucking. I'm average in the dick size department, so she took me in deep, getting all the way to my balls with ease, she came back and kept going with increasing suction. As I started to groan in pleasure, she began kissing the sides of my shaft until she got down to my balls. She took one, then, the other and licked and sucked on them. Then, it was back to my cock. She went back and forth, making it feel as good as any pussy I had ever been in. She backed off for a minute with I still remember as one of the sexiest sentences ever. “Either untie my hands so I can do this right, or grab me and fuck my face.” I chose the latter. I grabbed two fistfuls of her hair and started aggressively fucking her mouth and throat. To her credit, Tara kept up the suction and using her tongue as best she could while being forced on to my cock. Her eyes were watering a bit and as the pressure built, her saliva was dripping off her chin to the hotel carpet. Finally, when I hit my limit, I started to explode. The first two bursts went down her throat, but then I shocked her again. I pulled my cock from her mouth and let the remaining cum coat her face, mouth and the top of her shirt. When we finally finished, she said, “You fucker. This was a new shirt. But, with the grey pattern, I may just leave it like this. Everyone will think it's part of the shirt, but you and I know I'm wearing your cum around my neck like a medal every time I have it on.” All of this came flooding back to me in the bar as I struggled for words, “Uh…well, it looks great on you… Linds… er… Becky. I mean…. fuck.” Tara walked back to table to see my bright red face and Lindsay beaming. “He figured out the shirt didn't he?” Then to me, “Sorry, babe. You'll learn to understand my sister's weird sense of humor.” Lindsay added, “C'mon! Think of it as an April Fools joke! I mean, the look on your face was awesome.” “April Fools joke?” I questioned as I looked back at Tara, “How does she even know about that shirt?” “Babe. You're an only child. You don't understand how much sisters like to share things.” “What do you mean share?” I fumbled. That earned me a solid punch in the arm from Tara, which seemed to be happening fairly often on this trip. “Ew! Gross! I meant stories! Not men! This isn't some porn you watch when I'm not over your place, you sicko! So, don't get your "twin cest” fantasies all wound up in your head, you ass!“ "Fuck……” was pretty much all I could mutter as we went back to drinking. After another hour or so, we walked home. It was chilly, which helped us to sober up a bit, but we were still pretty buzzed. We walked in the door just after midnight and went to our rooms. At about 2:30, I felt something stirring on my bed. As I opened my blurry eyes, I could see the darkened form of Tara in our College's Sweatshirt and a pair of purple checkered panties slowly straddling me. “Shush. Everyone's sleeping” she whispered, “We have to be quiet.” She started gyrating those purple panties against my swelling cock while she kept her hands behind her on my thighs. My cock was rock hard and started to emerge from the fly in my boxers. I could feel the wetness of her pussy coming through her panties starting to lubricate my cock. As she started to moan, she lifted my hands under her sweatshirt to her tits. I grabbed a handful of her bare tits and started to feel her nipple stiffening. That's when it hit me. Twice. In the same second. Tara didn't own purple panties. In fact, she hates the color purple. Next, those weren't her tits. They were close. They were amazing. But they weren't Tara's. All of a sudden, I was like John Cena kicking out of a pin, or more accurately a fish flopping around on land. “Lindsay! Get off” I whisper-yelled and I gave her a solid shove. She landed on her ass at the foot of the bed. I was expecting tears, I was expecting a commotion, I was expecting to be killed by my girlfriend or her father. Instead, I got another smirk. “Oh well, I tried. April Fools?”  And she got up and left the room as quietly as she had entered. For the second time in as many days, I was left with a solid hard on, with the scent of an incredibly hot woman left behind. Needless to say, I got an awful night sleep. Between the alcohol, the late-night visit, and a raging hard-on, I had lost the sleep battle. I was also seriously wondering if I was somehow going to be blamed, then killed for the events of the night before. I needed to burn off some stress and the remaining alcohol, so I got up at 7:30 with the sun streaming through a crack in the window and threw on my running gear. I hit the empty neighborhood streets and started to sweat out everything from the night before. At the end of my loop, I ran back by the bar and picked up my car. As I arrived back at the house around 9:00 with coffee and donuts (in case I needed a bribe), everything seemed normal. I visited with everyone, went upstairs to grab a shower and get changed to help out for the day. When I came down at 10:15 – everything had gone to Hell. Lois was sobbing, Henry was on the phone yelling. Tara and Lindsay were trying to offer suggestions, while Josh and Denise stared silently. Pulling Tara aside, I asked, “T – what's going on?” “Turns out the caterer fucked up. They dropped off the food while you were upstairs, but they aren't staying to prep it, cook it, set it out or serve it. Lo is losing her mind, Henry is ready to punch someone.” Henry was screaming into the phone, “And I know more people in this town that I will destroy your business, do you understand?!?” “Hey Lois?” I tried to interrupt. But Lois couldn't stop crying, “Oh, girls, it's ruined. We can't get all this done in time for the guests.” “Uh….Tara? Henry?” I attempted to get anyone's attention. “Thanks For Nothing, Henry Yelled; and slammed the phone!! "Oh Henry…..Wah!” As they hysterics built to a crescendo, I finally spoke loudly enough to cut through the noise. “Uh, Anyone? Just Stop for a second!” While Lois was still whimpering, there was at least some silence. “No offense, but I'm literally standing right here. You know I spent all of college working in restaurants and bars, right? Plus, all my work experience is with caterers and managing events. I literally oversaw a functions department that did weddings for 2,000 people at a hotel in Dallas. I think I can handle 50 friends and family.” Tara was the first to speak, “Oh, my God, J ……thank you. But you can't do all this yourself. I'll help?” “Nope. But here's what I need: You get Lois ready like you planned. Henry, you and the kids finish cleaning up and putting up the tables and stuff. When the flowers get here, show them where it all goes. Linds – you knew a bunch of people working at the bar last night. Can you start texting, calling, whatever, and see if ANY of them can get their asses over here for a quick $100 bucks today? You and I will run that crew.” Lois finally was starting to calm down. “Are you sure, Jason? You're supposed to be a guest.” “Don't worry about it. This is literally what I do. Consider this my gift to you. I'll just keep the salt & pepper shakers that say 'Henry and Lois' for my place!” Henry gave me a big bear hug and said to me and Lindsay, “Tell your friends $200 each. If you can get them and pull this off, I'll pay anything.” And with that, everyone started their tasks. I grabbed the prep instructions the caterers had left and started to figure out timing and how the ovens worked. I was looking for some baking trays under the cabinets, when Lindsay came down and told me she had one bartender, a waitress and a waiter on their way. “Awesome. Any idea when they'll get here? I'm gonna need some help in here.” “Dude. I woke them up after they worked a night shift. Be glad we got who we did. I'll tell you what, I'll help you for now, then when they get here I'll get changed. That way, I'll know what's going on too. Once the party starts, I can be the runner for you and them.” I stood up, walked over and gave Lindsay a big hug. Once again, I felt her amazing tits – this time pressed up against me through her sweater. With that, we started working. I was scribbling on a pad I found, how I was going to schedule out the food so we had it flowing the whole time. Lindsay was unwrapping all the food trays and putting them in different parts of the kitchen at my direction. Time flew by and at noon the servers started showing up. Ed was actually one of the bartenders I met the night before. I had Lindsay show him to the patio, where the makeshift bar was set up. Then I told her to get dressed for the ceremony. I took Leslie & Marc and told them how we were laying things out. As soon as the ceremony ended, we wanted champagne poured and passed out for a toast. While they did that, I'd put the cold platters in the family room and living room. Then, we had time to start pulling the hot food, which they would pass from room to room. As the guests arrived, things picked up. The rooms were small and tight. Leslie, Marc and I were running around with platters of food and clearing old plates. Of course, we were also taking requests from people who were too lazy to walk the 30 feet to Ed at the bar. At about 1:30, I was in the kitchen, on the ground trying to reach into the back of a cabinet for a cake platter. I heard the familiar click-click of high heel shoes and squirmed out of the cabinet. I looked over to see that I was within a tongue-length of an amazing pair of legs perched on a pair of black heels. My eyes traveled up to see that Lindsay was wearing a short, pleated yellow skirt with a white blouse that accentuated her amazing tits. “You need anything, boss?” she asked. “Uh…no Linds. All is good here.” She took a half step forward and could have straddled my head and answered, “You sure?” “Lindsay, c'mon, kid, you gotta stop with the flirting. You're killing me.” Without moving, she continued, “I may have been drunk last night, but I figured out what tipped you off it wasn't me. First, it was my tits. You've felt Tara's enough to know mine weren't hers. I should have kept your hands outside the sweatshirt, Next, it was the panties. Tara hates purple. So, I fixed that, too,” With that, she lifted her skirt to show me her naked pussy. It's not an understatement to say it was amazing. The lips were shaved bare, but she kept a very thin, very fine landing strip that ended at the top of her cleft, just like her sister. Everything looked perfect and it was all…right…there. “I mean you haven't had a chance to stop and eat. Don't you want a snack?” Sounds of people heading our way made Lindsay drop her skirt, grab a platter of desserts and leave the room with a flounce. “I swear” I muttered to myself as I readjusted my dick yet again, “one more little prank from her and I'm gonna murder someone this weekend.” At this point, I was tired, sweating, and laying on the tile floor of a kitchen, trying to hide my erectness. Finally, after a few hours, the party started to wind down. Friends left, some family members remained. The immediate family all started to get changed out of their dressy clothes. At about 4:30, Tara found her way to the kitchen just I was cleaning up with the team. “Babe. Thank you so much. I talked to my parents and told them we are going to head out. Go get yourself together and let's get on the road. If anyone deserves a good dinner tonight, it's you.” I went upstairs and took my first good look at myself in the mirror. I was covered in food remnants and splatters. I undressed and threw on jeans, and a new shirt. I packed up my stuff, grabbed Tara's bags and loaded up the car. We went back in to say goodbye to everyone. Henry and Lo were still with some remaining guests on the patio. The kids were playing video games. Lindsay was with some cousins and friends drinking a glass of wine. Fortunately, she was dressed in a pair of shorts, t-shirt and keds. Henry and Lo couldn't stop hugging and thanking me. The kids gave me high-fives. Lindsay gave me what ended up being a fairly chaste hug. As we pulled away, she said to Tara, “You've got a good one, T!” As I made my way toward the door, Henry reached out to me again, taking me another big bear hug. I've got some size, but I thought he was going to break my ribs. He pulled away and said, “You're a good man, Jason. Thank you.” With that he stuck out his hand for a final handshake. Having worked in restaurants for years, I felt the familiar “gentlemen's tip” moving some folded bills into my hand. “Don't say a word” he said quietly. You saved us today and if the servers got $200…that's the least I can do for you.“ I thanked him, hugged him again and discreetly put the money in my pocket. Tara and I hopped in the car and started heading to Midnock Valley Resort. We had about a 3 hour drive and we just chatted about the party in general. About an hour in, Tara asked me, "So, did she hit on you?” I didn't know how to answer…so I went with a blank stare. “Babe. It's ok. She does it all the time. It's some little sister thing. Wants to prove that she can be as grown up as me. But the good news is, if you had done anything – she would have told me right away and tell me you're a scumbag.” “But…..” “Sisters before Misters. It's the golden rule.” “Thank goodness you're hot” I joked, “Because that may be the most fucked-up and lamest thing anyone has ever said to me.” With that, we started laughing and settled in for the rest of the drive. To be continued.. By TruthwithaTwist for Literotica.

200 episodes, how is that possible! Ari and Chris are joined by land and by sea by Steve Martin, Amy Fennell, Scott Trauger, Cori Dawson, Brad Moore, Michael Van Horne, Adam Geltz, Shayna Gruman, Natalie Sunray, Hunter Peck, and Kevin O'Brien to celebrate a very special podcast-iversary! We share some of out favorite episodes, memorable moments, and wishes for the future of show - thank you all for an amazing 4 years, and here's to another 200! If you have a suggestion for a question, topic, or guest you'd like to hear on a future episode of the show, let us know at podcast@naturalencounters.com! --------------------------------- The TEC Talk Podcast is proud to be sponsored by Audible.com! To support the show and get a free 30-day trial of everything Audible has to offer, visit http://www.audibletrial.com/tectalk- thanks Audible!

2/14/24 Hinkle Law Offices Top 5- Thanks for nothing, Mr. Commish

Trump wins the New Hampshire Republican primary. David Faris tells us what it means. And why Nikki Haley stays in the race. Also, a few words about lefties and President Biden. David Faris is a columnist for Newsweek and Slate and a professor of political science at Roosevelt University. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Teams fail to help the Bengals in the Wild Card playoff race, Bengals win, Epstein fight log to be revealed on New Years and more --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/kendall-parks/support

God's love isn't only seen in what we have, but what we lack – what He holds back! From November 26, 2023

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Thanks for nothing! I know it's an unusual expression for a sermon on this day of national thanksgiving. People use the expression when they are upset with what a person did or did not do. If it sounds as though I am implying that we should thank God for nothing - I am! That is what St. Paul is suggesting in our text when he says, "give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. (5:18) All circumstances. Not just during good times, but also in bad times and yes…even when it seems that there is apparently nothing at all for which to give thanks.

Episode 427... it's World Television Day, punkers! Milestone episode for the BGP as the Mad Ax attempts to do a solo show for the first time ever. He could only muster a half-hour show this time. In addition to the television openers, be sure to check out our Punk TV playlist over on YT. The rest of the show is a tribute to Thanksgiving. Have fun stuffing your turkey, punkers. Thanks for tuning in. In the episode, Mad Ax stupidly forgets to mention the background music; both songs are listed below. He also forgets to say, "Long Live Punk!" And the last song is called "Zero Thanks Given." Rookie... enjoy!Listen to Episode 427: (scroll for set list)On ARCHIVE.On Apple or Google Podcasts, hit "play."On blogspot, play it below:Listen to The Brothers Grim Punkcast:ARCHIVE.Org - hear/download past episodesPUNK ROCK DEMONSTRATION - Wednesdays 7 p.m. PSTRIPPER RADIO - Fridays & Saturdays 7 p.m. PSTApple PodcastsGoogle PodcastsContact Brothers Grim Punk:brothersgrimpunk@gmail.com - In a punk band? Send us your music! Want us to make you a punk song? Email us some lyrics!@Punkbot138 on Instagram@BrosGrimPunk on XMore Punk Music:Bandcamp - Follow us and download our albums: Brothers Grim Punk, Fight Music, and more!YouTube - tons of punk playlists, from Anarchy to Zombies!Aggressive Punk...MTV Sux    0:49    The Burls    FA-Q Class of 1997Television    1:07    Rouse    Deep WoundKill Your Television    1:06    Fanzui Xiangfa    Criminal MindsOuch, My Childhood    2:35    The Hextalls    Play With HeartTelevision (bkgrd)    2:04    Bad Religion    Stranger Than FictionThanks    0:20    Odie    Thanks, I Hate It Thanks    0:28    Praiser    711 Thanks    0:45    Society's Ills    Society's Ills Thanks, It Came As a Set    0:06    Common Enemy    T.U.I. Thanks, Asshole    0:56    Flesh Eating Creeps    The Book About the Movie Thanks For Asking    1:07    Snubbed    Set Me Free Thanks For Nothing    2:05    Rancor    Memories of Tomorrow I'll Thank You in the Morning    2:00    Urethra Franklin and the Ghetto Children    Fast Cars, Nudie Bars, and Facial Scars Say My Thanks    1:16    7 Seconds    Take It Back, Take It On, Take It Over! Thank U    1:52    Aggressive Touch    There's Something in the Back of Our Minds (split w/ Nudist Island) *check out Let Them Eat Cock by Fight Music* She's Giving Me the Creeps    2:24    Screeching Weasel    Kill The Musicians (2023 Remaster) Cold Turkey    0:22    Race Condition    Cold Turkey EP Turkey Meat    1:12    XXXMas    4 [they put out 5 Xmas albums in 2021] Thanksgiving       1:06    Tear the Place Apart!    Live Together or Die AloneThe Day I Ruined Thanksgiving (bkgrd)    2:22    The Underwear Serpents    Offensive to All 5 Senses0 Thanks Given    2:39    Gymshorts    90 MPH! 7"

Doug is back from New Zealand and Drew's back from Geneva via a 747 from Frankfurt. Both are gearing up for a record breaking Thanksgiving travel period. We talk about what we're thankful for but it didn't go as planned. 

The guys can't believe they had faith in Penn State and James Franklin. Download the latest episode of Cash the Ticket today. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The David Alliance   TDAgiantslayer@Gmail.com    What is irritating your right now?  Is it someone?  Is it a personal issue?  Is it a financial issue?  Is it a work situation?  Is it an unmet desire or need? It will continue to bother you until you begin to thank God for the process!  It will turn into resentment, hurt, anger, bitterness and invite demonic activity into your life…  BUT  THANKFULNESS immediately breaks that. I am not married yet… but I am thankful for Gods process that will make me more like him and give him glory! **You will yield to the process of God in order to become a part of his work.  You are thanking him for what you are going through, for what you need and the process behind it, because the process is making you more like him and making him look good. - i.e. glorifying God.    You can't serve Mammon and God. Mammon there is never enough… you lose the vision for thankfulness.  Mammon/ Money and the security and comfort it brings. It is a demon.   A lack of Thankfulness limits your faith. It parks your faith until something happens… but that's now how faith works.      1 Tim. 6:6-10 “Godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. Those who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. For the love of money (the worship of money) is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.” WHAT IS THE LOVE OF MONEY? IT IS TRUSTING MONEY AS THE ANSWER TO THE PROCESS… RATHER THAN GOD.  Mammon is a demon: Anything that trys to get you to worship anything other than Jesus is a demonic spirit.  GK Evil - Morally rotting      Psalm 100 I will enter his gates with thanksgiving in my heart I will enter his court with praise. I will say this is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice for he has made me glad…. But just before that the verse says WE ARE HIS PEOPLE THE SHEEP OF HIS PASTURE. Why do sheep ever the courtyard and into the gate? TO BE SACRIFICED. 

AWESOME JAR    Thankfulness is a big deal in the Bible. In fact, it's one of the few specific things that we're told is God's will for us (1 Th 5:18) *In everything give thanks, for this is the will of God. Praying without ceasing for this is the will of God, In everything give thanks for this is the will of God in Christ concerning you.  NOT for everything, BUT IN EVERYTHING  Gods will is to always give thanks.    What's the difference between W, P & T?  Worship - for who God is. He is worthy. Praise - for what he has done and what he will do. Thankfulness - Stating God is the process of faith.    *When we thank God all of heaven and eternity join our side… because they see us acknowledge the process is Gods design.  Thank him for what he did (the process we now see looking back),  thank him for what he is doing (The process we trust him for at this time), and  thank him for what he has done (as if the process is completed) it is the period to your faith.    It destroys the “prayer request” mentality. Acknowledging what is right and complete about God in thanksgiving.   ***Simply put - Thanksgiving is stating God is the process… YOU ARE THE PROCESS!!   BUT WAIT THERES MORE…. Yes most of us have done this and do this…. But the power of thanksgiving is when we thank him for the process that is taking place over the things in our life that are not good, wonderful or enjoyable or even understandable.    What is irritating your right now?  Is it someone?  Is it a personal issue?  Is it a financial issue?  Is it a work situation?  Is it an unmet desire or need? It will continue to bother you until you begin to thank God for the process!  It will turn into resentment, hurt, anger, bitterness and invite demonic activity into your life…  BUT  THANKFULNESS immediately breaks that. I am not married yet… but I am thankful for Gods process that will make me more like him and give him glory! **You will yield to the process of God in order to become a part of his work. 

Loyalty.. It's great until it's not reciprocated! Nat lets us know which company has let her down majorly. And funny man Dave Callan joins the show, he tells us all about his burning man experience.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This episode had so much more than we were expecting! From group chat drama to confirmation that Robyn has never lived polygamy - wow. The quiet parts are now being said out loud and we love it. Kody and Robyn somehow look worse and worse every episode this season and we are here for it.  Thank you for listening!

Recap and commentary of Sister Wives S18E2: Thanks for Nothing #sisterwives https://cash.app/$maryjanekaypodcasts https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4yRHyRCksz_aFYMZOA_KrQ --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/maryjane-kay/support

"Thanks For Nothing" Kody suggests marriage counseling 10 years too late; the Browns kick off the holiday season with a Festivus airing of grievances; Rora gets rewarded for her blind obedience.   Looking for additional content and access to all of our recaps? Sign-up for our Patreon: www.patreon.com/SurvivingPod Follow us on Twitter: @Surviving_Pod Email us: SurvivingPod@gmail.com  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Bea and Dee give a very brief and barely insightful recap of the Temptation (Hoe) Island finale (as if anyone cares!) Later, and most importantly, the girls discuss all the juicy things that were said (and everything that was left unsaid) in this week's episode of Sister Wives! The Audacity! the Gaslighting! The GROUP CHAT! Bea and Dee have a lot to say, so get ready Raccoons! We've got some juicy trash for you! Want first dibs on ad-free episodes, plus plenty of bonus content?! Support us here: www.patreon.com/RealityTVCringeWe want to hear from you! Leave us a message on Speakpipe: https://www.speakpipe.com/RealityTVCringeSubscribe to our YouTube Channel! https://youtube.com/@RealityTVCringeIf you love our podcast, be sure to leave us a 5 star review wherever you are listening!Follow RTC ON IG: www.instagram.com/RealityTVCringe

We're watching SISTER WIVES S18E12 and we want you to watch along with us! Join the unedited snark and comment along. We'll be here every Monday at 4:30pmCST. Smash that LIKE & SUBSCRIBE!Join our closed/private Facebook Group "We Love to Hate TV"Coming up this week on Patron:WE LOVE TO HATE TV *Tier 1: Return to Amish S7 E8 "What's the Frequency, Kenneth"*Tiers 2+: Sister Wives S8 E4 "Another Woman in Kody's Life"TOTAL REQUEST PODCASTReturn to Amish S7 E8 "What's the Frequency, Kenneth"link.chtbl.com/wlthewww.lovetohatepod.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"Christine and Kody struggle to keep things cordial; Kody regrets the family being separated at Thanksgiving; Paedon updates Christine on Robyn and the kids." Move over Kat Von D, there's a new bad girl in Flagstaff and her name is Awowah. Janelle invites her handyman, Christine, over to assemble another project, Kody invites Christine to break-up-counseling, Meri appears for a quick second and Robyn fucks up Daddy Logan's gift exchange! Join our Facebook Group: ⁠⁠Shit Talk: Sister Wives and other Reality TV!⁠⁠ Sign up for Patreon as we go back and recap older seasons and other bullshit: ⁠⁠Shit Talk on Patreon!⁠⁠ If you are excited about following along with us this season– subscribe! If you love what we have to say, leave us a 5 star review! If you hate us... we wish you all the success of My Sister Wife's Closet!

Amye is joined by Amanda to recap Sister Wives S18:EP2 Thanks for NothingKody and Christine continue their really tense lunch and if you guessed that he leaves Christine with the bill, you'd be correct. Thanksgiving is here and Kody is upset that he has to celebrate the holiday in his million dollar home with a wife who adores him. Janelle attempts to bake, Christine continues her victory lap, and Paedon confirms polygamy did not work for their family.**This is a sample of what you will find on Little Miss recap EXTRA. To join:https://www.patreon.com/littlemissrecaphttps://littlemissrecap.supercast.com/THE SHOW:Get in touch with us:Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/littlemissrecapFacebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/littlemissrecapInstagram: @littlemissrecapVoicemail: www.littlemissrecap.comEmail: Info@littlemissrecap.comYou can find Amanda at @amandalipnack Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode Kody and Christine continue their talk at Salsa Brava. Kody is very angry at Christine for ruining his "big picture." He thinks they need to go to post-divorce counseling but Christine isn't having it. Robyn doesn't understand why any of this is happening. The families have separate Thanksgivings, except for Meri who goes to Robyn's house. Logan tries to organize a sibling gift exchange which blows up after Robyn gets involved. Kody and Aurora have a special daddy daughter outing to get her ears pierced and Kody has never been happier. Janelle reveals to Christine that she and Kody are not fine. Please SUBSCRIBE to the podcast and give us a 5-star rating and review. We are on Instagram and TikTok @psychlegalpop Email: psychlegalpoppodcast@gmail.com

In the 1 p.m. hour of the K&C Masterpiece, the fellas lay out the most highly rated wide receivers in the newest Madden, discuss the movies their kids have to watch in Masterpiece Theater, and crosstalk with the GBAG Nation

Today on the Greg Kelly show, Greg talks about the Durham report and that its a year too late. We discuss the migrant situation, especially Eric Adams and what he is doing about housing them in gyms. Plus he talks about the bad rap that "Karens" are getting and a specific incident. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey there, it's Em and Mo and we're back with another episode of TGSTS! Can you believe it's been three whole years since COVID-19 first made its grand entrance? Crazy, right? In this episode, we're taking a trip down memory lane and reflecting on how we've changed since the pandemic hit. From face masks to remote work, we're chatting about all the ways COVID-19 has rocked our world. We'll also be dishing out some hot takes on what we think the future holds for our mental health, social skills, and beyond. It's gonna be a wild ride, so buckle up and join us as we explore the impact of COVID-19 and how we've adapted to this so-called new normal. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/twogirlsshootingthesh1t/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/twogirlsshootingthesh1t/support

In Happy Life Challenge number 3 we will talk about one of the easiest ways to be Happy. In fact, it's almost too easy. So, thanks for nothing!Contact usLinktree: www.Linktr.ee/HappyLifeStudiosEmail: Podcast@HappyLife.StudioYo Stevo Hotline: (425) 200-HAYS (4297)Webpage: www.HappyLife.lol YouTube: www.YouTube.com/StevoHaysTikTok: www.tiktok.com/@happylifestudiosFacebook: www.Facebook.com/HappyLifeStudios Instagram: www.Instagram.com/HappyLife_Studios Twitter: www.Twitter.com/HappyLifStudios If you would like to help us spread the HappyPayPal: www.PayPal.me/StevoHaysCash App: $HappyLifeStudiosZelle: StevoHays@gmail.comVenmo: @StevoHaysBuy Me A Coffee: buymeacoffee.com/HappyLifeStudioCheck: Payable to Hays Ministries or Steve Hays and send to PO Box 102 Maple Valley, WA 98038

This week, Bridget Kelly and Mandii B are joined by friends with benefits and co-host of TWO podcasts (Around The Way Curls, Can't Afford Therapy) Antoinette. Topics:(3:00) Rihanna experiences 211% increase on-demand streams & 390% increase in digital song sales overall - Forbes(8:00) Critics are saying that Rihanna & A$AP Rocky's Vogue cover is “emasculating” to A$AP(23:00) What are the real issues that are activating your triggers?(37:00) Get Rich or Die Trying turns 20 years old!(39:00) 50 Cent's versatility has led to his successful and diversified business ventures (shoes, video games, books, film/tv, etc.)(49:00) Is it a smart move for QC to sell to Scooter Braun? (1:02:00) Will we ever forgive Chris Brown? Has he taken enough accountability to be forgiven? (1:24:00) Dating older men when you are a minor ( Nia Long, Karl Malone, etc.) (1:39:00) Tink's new single “Toxic” gets the ladies excited about her new album “Thanks For Nothing” coming out 2/24(1:47:00) Freshly Squeezed Music Segment: New releases For more of Tink, check out EP 127 on YouTube and Spotify/Apple/ and everywhere else. —----------------LIVE SHOW:

For the past decade or so, Annie and Jay Warmke of Blue Rock Station have observed a three month period of non consumption - their Thanks for Nothing season.  It is a break from our consumer society, where they do not buy anything - and even turn off the electricity. Find out what motivated this bizarre behavior and what lessons are learned - and how it has enriched their lives.

Sports with Rod 1-4-2023 …ESPN Talking Head blames Tee Higgins for Damar Hamlin's Heart Attack …Skip Bayless is running out of friends …Thanks for nothing, Boston Celtics

Additional Resources:Website: https://www.thebigbiemethod.comFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/thebigbiemethodTwitter: @TheBigbieMethodInstagram: @thebigbiemethodLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cindybigbienvcYouTube:  https://www.youtube.com/channelBe sure to leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts and share it with a friend that would get some value!The Bigbie Method website: https://www.thebigbiemethod.com

This is about my thanksgiving gone bad. My mom hasn't spoken to me since. Feeling very alone—let me know you're listening by sending me an email or voice memo. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/sdanxious/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/sdanxious/support

C-Falls-Stephen Masters

C-Falls-Stephen Masters

Listen below with the audio player or Click Here for complete show notes and video from the show. Feedback It is TECHNORAMA INTERNATIONAL VOICEMAIL MONTH in November! Call or Text us! QOTW: What’s a movie that bombed at the box … Continue reading →

Luke 12.32, John 60:40, 1 Timothy 2:4, 1 Thessalonians 5:18, Luke 12:31-32, Matthew 7:9-11, James 4:3, Matthew 7:7, Daniel 3:17-18

6.2.22 Hour 4 1:00- We open up the segment wrapping up the conversation with the Nats. Then, we get to some fun segment where we hear from the listeners as they give their "Thanks for nothing" DC Sports team. Who underperformed while playing for your DC sports team? 

Howie hears from listeners about the soaring prices of everything from gas to groceries. Thanks Brandon!

This hour Howie takes calls about all the things Brandon has done since he too office to make our lives worse, gas prices and empty shelves at the grocery store to name a few.

This week, Alan, Quinta and Scott sat down sans guest to work through some of the week's big national security news, including:“Like Stalin Without the ‘Stache.” The unpopularity of Russia's war in Ukraine has led President Vladimir Putin to dramatically constrain what little free media and space for public dissent Russia had left. How will Russia be changed? “The No-No-Fly-Zone.” The United States and Europe are finding themselves at loggerheads with the beleaguered government of Ukraine over the latter's request for a No-Fly-Zone and other forms of support that they are so far unwilling to extend. What support should the United States and its allies provide to the Ukrainian government? And where is the line they shouldn't cross?“The Crime-Fraud Perception.” A new filing by the Jan. 6 committee points out that it sure looks like President Trump might have committed some crimes in the aftermath of the 2020 election. What does this mean for the future of a possible Justice Department investigation? For object lessons, Alan expressed his horniness for the annual antler shed hunt that takes place in Jackson Hole, Wyoming each year. Quinta recommended a New Yorker piece on the possibility that former congressman and Trump chief-of-staff Mark Meadows engaged in a bit of voter fraud. And Scott shared his new favorite way to drink amaro: all shook up. Be sure to visit our show page at www.lawfareblog.com and to follow us on Twitter at @RatlSecurity. And Rational Security listeners can get a committed ad-free feed by becoming a Lawfare material supporter at www.patreon.com/lawfare! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

It's that time of the week again where Howie takes calls on everything you're thankful for under the Brandon administration.