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Sometimes "reality" TV takes it one step too far.  Sometimes two steps.  Sometimes a flying leap. WARNING:  IMPLIED VIOLENCE AND TORTURE Written and Produced by Julie Hoverson Cast List Announcer  - Frankenvox Alison - Beverly Poole Bart - Michael Faigenblum Carl - Mike Campbell Debbie - E. Vickery Ms. Sheldon - Sharon Delong Tanya - Tanja Milojevic Mom - Shayla Conrad-Simms Dad - Reynaud LeBoeuf Son - Eli Nilsson Fred - Joel Harvey Bob - Glen Hallstrom Helen - Helen Edwards June - Shelbi McIntyre Kathy - Kim Poole Additional Voices - Russell Gold; Julie Hoverson Music by Brian Bochicchio (Seraphic Panoply) Show theme:  Kevin MacLeod (Incompetech.com) Editing and Sound:   Julie Hoverson Cover Design:  Brett Coulstock   "What kind of a place is it? Why it's right here, right now, can't you tell?" ************************************************************************ IDIOT BOX Cast: [Opening credits - Olivia] TV Announcer Alison, chipper Bart, sullen Carl, upbeat, hearty Debbie, nervous, angry underneath Ms. Sheldon, executive producer Tanya, in the sound booth Family - mom, dad, teenage son Bar - Fred, Bob, Helen Dorm - June, Kathy OLIVIA     Did you have any trouble finding it?  What do you mean, what kind of a place is it?  Why, it's right here, right now, can't you tell?  MUSIC SOUND     THEME MUSIC ANNOUNCER    last week, in the record-breaking debut of The Box, we were introduced to our four contestants: ALISON    [chipper] I'm Alison, from Santa Monica.  Hi, mom! CARL    [hearty] Carl, from Atlanta - home of the Cartoon Channel!!  DEBBIE    [nervous] Debbie, from Salem.  Uh, Oregon.  [quickly] Salem Oregon. BART    [sullen] Bart, Minneapolis [disgusted sigh]. ANNOUNCER    The rules are on the screen now for all you viewers out there, to cover the formalities.  They are also available on our website at [spelled out superfast] w-w-w-dot-s-k-i-n-n-e-r-i-d-i-o-t-b-o-x-dot-com.  AMB    FAMILY LIVING ROOM SOUND    CHIPS EATEN FROM BAG ANNOUNCER    [TV] And after this brief message, we'll show you the results of last week's voting. SOUND    CLICK OF REMOTE SOUND    POPCORN POPPING IN MICROWAVE MOM    [off] You better not have turned that off, hun! SOUND    MICROWAVE DINGS DAD    Just muted.  Sick of all these ads for freaking erectile dysfunction.  If anything's going to give a guy man-trouble, it's having to watch all those damn ads. SOUND    POURING POPCORN INTO BOWL SON    Ew, dad.  T-M-I. MOM    [coming in, munching popcorn] The one I hate is that smiling guy.  His wife just looks so scared all the time.  Almost as creepy as the King. SON    Am I adopted?  Please say yes. DAD    Ooops, back on! ANNOUNCER    [TV]  Did everyone vote? MOM    I certainly did! SON    Mom?  [disgusted noise] Why? ANNOUNCER    [TV] The voting is closed, the tabulations have been made, and the scores are coming up on the screen now. MOM    [over the announcer] Why not?  I want that nice young girl - the blonde - to win.  She's very wholesome. ANNOUNCER    [TV] And it looks like today Alison has been selected!  MOM    [satisfied] There! ANNOUNCER    We have Alison in the studio now - let's see how she takes it. SOUND     LIGHT MUSIC, ON THE TV SEGUES INTO REALITY ANNOUNCER    Hello Alison!  Say hi to everyone!  ALISON    Hi!  Hi mom!  Dad! ANNOUNCER    How's the first week been treating you? ALISON    This place is great! ANNOUNCER    Throughout the show, we'll be showing some of the fun you four have been having.  Now, why don't you tell me what you think of your new friends? ALISON    Oh, wow - everyone's really great.  ANNOUNCER    Don't you find Bart a bit... isolated? ALISON    He's just self-contained.  I'm sure he's a good guy, he just doesn't open up real easily. ANNOUNCER    And Debbie? ALISON    She's shy - a lot like my sister.  Hi Vickie!! ANNOUNCER    [chuckles] That's great. ALISON    And Carl - well, he's a blast.  He's always thinking up great stuff to do. ANNOUNCER    Yesterday you had sole access to the Dairy Dan Amusement park. ALISON    Oh, man - that was awesome!  They closed the gates and we got to ride all the rides all day long - no lines, no crowds!  Woo! ANNOUNCER    You've been chosen. ALISON    Woo!  [stumbles] I - What?  What? SOUND    CONTROL BOOTH ANNOUNCER    [TV]  Please step into the box. ALISON    [TV - gasp, then steels herself]  Right.  [somewhat bitter] Thanks America. SHELDON That's the shot - tight in on 2, now 3 - yes! Keep her face centered until she shuts the door. TANYA    Got it. SHELDON Okay, keep the volume low on that. It's early yet - don't want to wear out the viewers... SOUND    [TV] ELECTRIC SHOCK NOISE, SOMEWHAT BRIEF ALISON    [TV - short scream] ANNOUNCER    [TV] We'll be right back after the break to find out what today's challenge will be. AMB    DORM ROOM JUNE    Omigod!  Omigod!  Did you see that? KATHY    [distracted] Hmm?  No but I sure heard it - did they just do what I think they did? JUNE    They just shocked the crap out of the blonde chick! KATHY    Was there actually crap? JUNE    [duh] She was in the box.  Shh.  It's coming back on. SOUND    TV TURNS UP ANNOUNCER    [TV] We'll be right back with more of The Box after these messages. SOUND    SOUND DOWN AGAIN JUNE    I hate when they do that. KATHY    Shock someone? JUNE    No, have the logo come up and make you think the show is back on. KATHY    Yeah, that's much worse. JUNE    You know what I mean!  It was totally mean that they shocked her - she's the one who got the most votes! KATHY    Isn't that what everyone was voting for? JUNE    No!  At least, I don't think so - I mean, I thought it was voting for who would win something cool.  I ...voted for her. KATHY    You actually voted? JUNE    On the website, yeah. KATHY    Of course there's a website.  Maybe you should read the fine print. JUNE    Oh, oh!  It's back on!  Jeez, look at her poor hair! SOUND    TV UP ANNOUNCER    [TV] Back to the interview room, to hear from Alison. ANNOUNCER    [real] Before we go on, I need to point out, this is the only time you can choose to leave the show.  Are you prepared to stay? ALISON    [gulps, then quiet]  Yes.  [clears her throat, louder]  Yes.  [very shaky] That wasn't so bad. ANNOUNCER    Excellent.  Now I believe you recently graduated from college, Alison.  What did you get your degree in? AMB    BAR ALISON    [TV]  I'm a liberal arts major, with a minor in art history. FRED    So she's unemployed, eh? ANNOUNCER    [TV]  And you are engaged to be married? BOB    Too bad.  All the cute ones are taken.  Even with that weird hairdo. SOUND    TV SWITCHED TO SPORTS FRED    Hey, we were watching that! HELEN    Why?  It's awful, letting them mess with people on TV like that! FRED    [scornful] It's not real.  BOB    Course it is - it even has a website! HELEN    Puh-leez.  Lots of things have websites that aren't real. BOB    Name one. HELEN    Pamela Anderson's boobs. FRED    She got you there, pal. BOB    C'mon - just switch it back long enough to see what today's challenge is?  Please? HELEN    Ya big softie, you. SOUND    TV CHANGES BACK ANNOUNCER    [TV] Carl, you got the second most votes this week - Do you have anything to say to the viewers at home?  Obviously you're doing something right, to get so many votes. CARL    [TV]  I think it's just my sunny personality, Bob.  People like winners, and I am a winner. AMB    LIVING ROOM SON    Weiner. MOM    Language! SON    [dismissive noise] Doesn't that dipstick know that most votes gets zapped? DAD    Maybe he doesn't - they might not tell THEM everything, either.  Makes sense.  Why else would they be so excited? SON    But that sucks!  That sucks big time!  Here they are, trying to be all cool and get people to vote for them, and they're like masterminding their own torture or something. DAD    It's just a game,  No one really gets hurt. MOM    Well, I was kind of upset that Alicia-- SON    Alison. MOM    Yes, that she got shocked.  I didn't know that voting for her would do that.  I kind of feel bad now. SON    Well, don't vote for her next time. MOM    I certainly won't! ANNOUNCER    [on TV] Well, we've spoken to two of our four contestants, and the voting is open for the halftime winner.  Go on line now or text to-- SOUND    TV MUTES, AMB/DORM SOUND    COMPUTER KEYS KATHY    What are you doing? JUNE    Voting. KATHY    Vicious much? JUNE    No! I - I just don't want her to have to get shocked again.  Damn!  It only lets me choose one of those two - not the other guy. KATHY    So you want to see him get shocked? JUNE    Well, no, but I like him the least. KATHY    Just cause you don't think he's cute. SOUND    ONE LAST KEY JUNE    Um, there. KATHY    So who'd you vote for? JUNE    The guy - the nice one - of course.  I like him, too, but I don't want her to get shocked again. SOUND    TV UP AGAIN ANNOUNCER    [TV] Regular text messaging fees apply.  And now‑‑ SOUND    OMINOUS MUSIC ROLLS IN ANNOUNCER    [TV, ominous] The moment in the spotlight.  Will it be Alison or Carl?  The voting closes in three minutes, so hurry up and make your vote count - if the lines are overloaded, make sure and try back - but be quick.   [normal] While we wait, let's watch some clips from the preliminary interviews with the other two contestants. MUSIC ANNOUNCER    [TV] And what are you studying? DEBBIE    [TV] I'm - um - a poli sci major. FRED    So she's gonna end up unemployed too. BOB    Whatever happened to good old trade schools? FRED    They're still around - just the trades aren't.  You seen any cobblers in the U.S. of A recently?  Nope.  It's all farmed out to Pakistan and Koala Lumper. HELEN    Lumpur. FRED    Sez you. HELEN    I can turn it off, you know. BOB    Yeah - see now Helen here's got a job that can't be farmed out - long as there's guys like us, there's always gonna be bars, eh? FRED    Until they invent a mixology robot. BOB    Hey, the lights are flashing on the screen, must be something important. SOUND    TV TURNED UP. SOUND    OMINOUS MUSIC INTENSIFIES ANNOUNCER    [TV; evil "suspense" pacing]  And the one who got the most halftime votes.  Will it be Alison, our stoic liberal arts major? JUNE    Yes, yes - come on come on!!! ANNOUNCER    [TV] Or Carl, who tutors children with learning disabilities. MOM    Oh, that's awful! SON    Awful? That he works with retarded kids? MOM    [almost a whisper] That I voted for him. ANNOUNCER    [TV] And the one who got the most votes in the 8-minute half-time poll was-- SOUND    HEAVY DRUMBEAT ANNOUNCER    [TV] Was-- SOUND    HEAVY DRUMBEAT KATHY    Look at how much she's sweating! JUNE    You'd sweat too if you just got shocked! ANNOUNCER    [TV] is -Carl! JUNE    Whew! KATHY    Shh.  Let's see what happens. ANNOUNCER    [TV] This means that at the end of tonight's show, Carl will be up against the second half winner in a showdown to see who gets a million dollars sent to the charity of their choice. HELEN    Waitaminute - she gets shocked and he gets a chance to win big bucks?  That's so not fair! FRED    That's the way it is.  Women always getting the short stick. HELEN    Especially when they're dating you, eh? BOB    [laughs, tried to stop] FRED    Yeah, yeah - you can joke now, but I'll give you 70-30 odds that the other winner is that other guy. BOB    The grouch? FRED    Yup.  Is it a bet? BOB    Fifty bucks? FRED    Whoah, whoah!  Let's not get carried away here, now. MUSIC - OPENING THEME, PLAYS FOR A MOMENT ANNOUNCER    Entering week five of The Box, you can see the ratings posted for our four contenders.  [hushed] Last week, it looked as though Debbie had finally broken-- DEBBIE    [TV] I hate it!  I hate you all! You can all just go and-- SOUND    LONG SERIES OF BLEEPED WORDS SOUND    ZAPPING AND SCREAMING UNDER NEXT LINE ANNOUNCER    But after her trip to the box, she refused to cry off. DEBBIE    [TV] [breathing heavily and gulping] No [gasp] way! [gasp]  You don't [gasp] get rid of me [long shaky breath] that easily. [sob] ANNOUNCER    And now, a new week - and what was this week's challenge? STUDIO AUDIENCE Fasting! ANNOUNCER    Yes, fasting.  Whoever could go the longest without eating even a single bite of food got a free pass this week‑‑ ANNOUNCER    [TV] --and we'll find out who managed that in just a moment - after a few words from our sponsors. SOUND    CLICK, SOUND OFF JUNE    [urging] C'mon Debbie! KATHY    Debbie?  Hah.  She's got no body fat to start with.  Bart has a much better chance of surviving-- JUNE    Don't say that!  You just like him cause you know I don't! KATHY    I root for the underdog.  It's a principal. And no one likes that poor bastard. JUNE    If no one likes him, how come Debbie's the one always getting shocked, huh?  [almost a sob] Huh? ANNOUNCER    [TV]  Let's bring our four contestants out on stage to hear who's going to be free and clear for another week.  Alison-- SOUND    MUSIC UP, DOOR OPENS, SHAKY FOOTSTEPS ANNOUNCER    [real] Alison, how are you feeling? ALISON    [trying to be perky] Not too bad.  I made it almost three whole days on nothing but water.  ANNOUNCER    But then you lost it? ALISON    [heavy sigh] Yeah, I had to give in and get something.  [resigned] I figured fine - just put me in the box.  At least that eventually ends.  ANNOUNCER    Thank you, Alison.  Now go over to the isolation booth while we talk with each of your friends. ALISON    [venomous] Friends?  Hah! ANNOUNCER    [TV, confidential] She needs to learn to be careful about trading today's pain for tomorrow's - what she doesn't know is we've [ramping up] turned the voltage up another notch! AUDIENCE    [TV, CHEERS] HELEN    This just keeps getting worse.  It has to be against the law. BOB    Oh, come on.  They signed waivers, didn't they?  Plus, it's all fake - like wrestling.  Seriously.  Even if they did do this stuff, they have to have doctors and all on staff - make sure no one really gets hurt. SOUND    UNWRAPPING AND OPENING A FORTUNE COOKIE FRED    Hey, listen to this - "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it." BOB    Figures the Chinese would think of that first. FRED    Nah.  The Chinese didn't make that up. HELEN    Then who did say it? FRED    [immediate] Thomas Jefferson. BOB    I don't think so. FRED    Yeah?  And who do you think it was? BOB    Some Greek philosopher or other.  [idea] Julius Caesar! HELEN    You guys make your bet, I'll call Jonesy on the next commercial and he can google it. SOUND    TV TURNS UP ANNOUNCER    [TV]  So Bart, you made it the longest without eating - you have any special tips for the viewers out there on how you did it? BART    [real] Huh? ANNOUNCER    Any tips?  We'll give you a minute - these moments of uncertainty are just further proof that our show is live and unedited.  While Bart ponders this, I'll recap - Alison gave into her craven need for food first, followed by Carl and Debbie - in a virtual photo finish, where Debbie held out for one millisecond longer than Carl.  Good going Debbie! BART    I hate you. ANNOUNCER    Hmm?  What's that? BART    I hate you and all you stand for.  ANNOUNCER    Do I hear an opt-out coming?  For those of you just tuning in, during this episode and this episode alone, any of our four contestants can opt out at any time - not just immediately following a trip into the Box.  So Bart, are you-- SOUND    A BEEP TRIES TO CUT HIM OFF ON THE FIRST WORD BART    Fuck you!  You can't get rid of me that easily.  BART    [TV] I don't care how many times you drug me and try to get me to bow down to the corporate machine!  You and all you people at home - you are sadistic bastards, but I'm here for the long haul - And when I finish, whether I win or not, I will be traveling around the country demanding the pound of flesh each and every one of you bastards owe me!!! KATHY    For god's sake, turn it off. JUNE    No, he's making a valid point.  We shouldn't be party to this. KATHY    The very act of watching it validates it. JUNE    No.  I'm only doing this to bear witness. KATHY    The advertisers don't care.  They just want to you to watch. JUNE    Well, I won't vote any more. KATHY    Then you can't complain when your favorite gets zapped. JUNE    [upset] Oh hell! ANNOUNCER    [TV]  Well, that was very enlightening.  Before you out there start emailing and phoning - please refer to clause 42 slash 8 slash F, subsection I-I-I, paragraph y, where it sets out the game's rules covering mental illness or defect.  Thank you, and good night! SOUND    TV TURNED OFF HELEN    Anyone checked out the big pools? FRED    What do you mean? HELEN    There's huge bets all over the place - everyone guessing who's gonna last the longest. BOB    Well, no one's washed out yet. FRED    They're a tough bunch of kids, but I bet I could make it on that show.  Age does bring wisdom. BOB    To who? FRED    You're too young to remember this, but I was a P-O-W in nam [rhymes with "ham"].  I been through it all.  Torture, deprivation, brain washing. HELEN    They sure got yours squeaky clean. SOUND    DRINKS WHOLE BEER DOWN. BOB    Ahhh. MUSIC    ANNOUNCER    This week, week 9 of The Box, we might just lose a second contestant.  ANNOUNCER     [TV] Alison, you've spent three days in this jacuzzi - brought to us courtesy of Big Joe's cut-rate pools and spas.  Now, people might think this was fun, but of course, you can't fall asleep or you might drown!  ALISON    [TV, parched, delirious]  You suck, Bob. FRED    Friend of yours? BOB    You wish. ALISON     [TV]  Get me out. ANNOUNCER    [TV] You do know that whomever leaves their jacuzzi first goes directly into the box? ALISON     [TV] No!  I want out!  OUT!  I can't - you can't make me stay here! JUNE    They can't, can they? KATHY     How much you wanna bet she signed something that says they can? JUNE    That's illegal! KATHY    Being stupid and greedy?  Nah.  They'd run out of prisons.  Unless you subscribe to the idea that our whole world is a prison. JUNE    [very upset] Don't talk like that - look at that poor girl!  They're just dragging her across the stage! KATHY    Wow.  I wouldn't'a thought it would take three guys to handle her, after all the crap she's been through. ALISON    [TV - screaming weakly and struggling] ANNOUNCER    [TV] It is understood, under the rules, that the clemency episode has run out and, once again, the only time you can opt out is right after a session in the box-- SON    If she's all wet, wouldn't that make the shock worse? DAD    At least her hair doesn't end up all weird since they shaved her head after that challenge last week-- SON    Three weeks ago. DAD    Really?  Anyway, they probably compensate somehow. MOM    Are you sure? DAD    [unsure] Well... They can't really hurt her - that would be... ANNOUNCER    [TV]     Oh, and - I've just got a word from the producer!  We've got a three minute vote - so grab your phones!  ANNOUNCER    [real] Now this will cost one dollar per vote, so make yours count!  Dial the studio number and hit 1 if you want us to let Allison forfeit and leave now, push 2 if you think we should hold her to the rules.  And voting opens [beat, then TV] Now! SHELDON Start the positive counter. TANYA    On it.  Running. NARRATOR     [TV] The positive votes will tally right here on the corner of the screen, and if, after the vote closes, there are more positive than negative votes, Alison will  immediately leave the studio - damper but wiser... BOB    Man, I wish I was in Vegas. FRED    Nah - you know what's going to happen.  The odd's'll be crap. HELEN    Course.  They'll let her go. FRED    You gotta lotta faith in people, babe.  Nah.  I'll give you 10 to 1 she's gonna ride the lightning. BOB     [incredulous] "Ride the lightning?" FRED    You know - old sparky. The electric chair?  Man where have you been? BOB    Considering no one's been executed in an electric chair in this state for - um - help me out Helen-- HELEN    50 years. BOB    50 years. FRED    Really? HELEN    How the hell'm I supposed to know? BOB    Well, whatever - a long time.  HELEN    Actually, I think this state always hanged people. FRED    Hung. BOB    The countdown! 5 - 4 - JUNE    3-2- MOM    [almost breathless] One. ANNOUNCER    [TV]  All votes are in, and as you can see, we had a regular landslide of support for our dear friend Allison here.  we have 4 million six hundred seventy two thousand, three hundred and forty-two votes for clemency.  Good for you everyone!  We'll show the other side, right after this-- SOUND    TV OFF DAD    No way! MOM    You can't    ! SON    I won't watch any more of this.  This is brutal. MOM    [angry] Don't you dare!  How can we not ... find out? SON    No. MOM    Just until they announce it - we don't have to watch ...if she... SON    Gets it? SOUND    REMOTE THROWN ONTO TABLE SON    You do what you want.  I'll be in the garage. SOUND    [after a moment] TV CLICKS ON COMMERCIAL    [something] KATHY    I bet the commercials for this cost top dollar.  Like superbowl ads. JUNE    How can you just be so snarky - that girl could die! KATHY    Nah.  They can't do that.  It would be illegal. JUNE    Not normally, but remember when that guy had a stroke on "Danger Island" last year?  The family sued, but the waiver made it perfectly legit.  KATHY    And that wasn't even that exciting. ANNOUNCER    [on TV]  For those just tuning in, we have perky little Allison in the Box, awaiting your verdict.  [continues under] Does she take the next shock, or have you tipped toward clemency for this poor girl? SHELDON Give them the split picture. TANYA    Before and after? SHELDON Uh-huh. [grim] Show them what they did. ANNOUNCER    [on TV] The negative votes have been tallied.  SOUND    DRUM ROLL, OMINOUS MUSIC ANNOUNCER    [ON TV] And we had 4 million six hundred seventy two thousand, three hundred and forty-two votes to let her go.  BOB    I'm still saying they'll let her off.  FRED    Nope.  You already lost that twenty, pal. HELEN    Shh! ANNOUNCER    [TV] The negative count is seven million three hundred-- SOUND    TV OFF KATHY    Did you vote? JUNE    Yes.  [beat]  Twenty times. KATHY    [shrug] You can't beat the bastards. JUNE    But if everyone just voted a few more times... KATHY    Three million more times. JUNE    How can people be so horrible? SOUND    [NEXT DOOR TV] SCREAMING PEOPLE    [laughing] SOUND    POUNDING ON WALL JUNE    [yelling at them] How can you be so horrible?? KATHY    They're drunk.  Didn't you see the sign? JUNE    [half a sob] Sign? KATHY    The one that said "come to gary's room, get drunk and watch The Box"? JUNE    [down] No. KATHY    Look, turn it on.  You'll see she's not dead or anything, then you'll feel better. JUNE    But what if she's not?  I mean, what if she is?  I mean-- KATHY    [sigh] Then you'll know. SOUND    [beat, then] TV TURNS ON SOUND    [on TV] AMBULANCE SIRENS JUNE    [sob] MOM    [sob] Her poor parents! DAD    Don't worry so much - she's not dead. MOM    She was for 43 seconds. DAD    That doesn't even count these days - happens all the time on House. MOM    [very upset] But this is real! SOUND    [on tv] MUSIC UP ANNOUNCER    [tv]  And we'll be checking in with Allison as soon as she regains consciousness to confirm her wish to opt out.  For now, the game comes down to Bart and Carl.  ANNOUNCER    Don't forget - no matter what happens, the game's big final episode is in two weeks.  SOUND    CAMERA OFF SHELDON Nicely done. ANNOUNCER    It's really wearing me thin. SHELDON Almost over. And after today's vote, there's no way the station can afford to cancel us. ANNOUNCER    [sigh, then grudging] Two more shows.  SHELDON [with meaning] And then we announce the results. MUSIC - OPENING THEME, PLAYS FOR A MOMENT AMB     NOISY BAR BOB    [ordering] Another one. FRED    Packed tonight. SOUND    DRINK SET DOWN HELEN    It's the finale. FRED    [tired] Oh, yeah.  That. BOB    Bottom's up! HELEN    Slow down, or I'm gonna have to pour you into a cab. SOUND    CAR KEYS SLAPPED ONTO THE BAR, SCOOPED UP SOUND    GLASS SET DOWN HARD BOB    Ahhh. CROWD    ROAR OF EXCITEMENT HELEN    Hold on!  I'll get it. SOUND    TV SOUND UP MUSIC    FANFARE ANNOUNCER    It's the night we've all been waiting for.  The night the final results are announced.  And we will have an ultimate winner.  Let's recap what the winner will walk away with.  SOUND    VOLUME DOWN SOUND    DOOR OPENS KATHY    Oh, you're not watching that, are you?  [sneer] I thought you decided it wasn't worth it! JUNE    [shell shocked] I can't not watch!  I have to know! KATHY    Look, let's go to the library or something. JUNE    No!  I would die of suspense! KATHY    It's not-- SOUND    TV VOLUME COMES UP KATHY    [sigh] I'm not staying. SOUND    DOOR CLOSES ANNOUNCER    And the contest comes down to our two finalists, Bart and Carl.  They have endured amazing hardship to make it this far.  Do you have anything you want to say to the people at home, Bart? BART    You still suck and you always will.  Every single one of you!  Every person who just sits by and supports this shit! ANNOUNCER    [still jovial]  And yet, you have continued to play our sick little games - as you call them - despite being offered chance after chance to leave. BART    Hah!  I don't plan to fucking let you win, you scumbags! ANNOUNCER    Well said.  And you, Carl, do you have anything for the audience? CARL    [mumbles] ANNOUNCER    Speak up? CARL    [vague, reciting] We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of dreams.  Sitting by lone sea-- lone sea....  the sea.  The sea.  See see oh playmate, come out and play with me.... [fades out] ANNOUNCER    There you have it, folks.  And now we go to our man in the street interviewer, Tanya.  Take it away! TANYA    Thank you.  I'm in a major metropolitan center here, asking people on the street what they think of the Box. ANNOUNCER    If they're outside right now, instead of glued to their sets, they must not think much of it. BOTH    [fake laugh] SOUND    TV OFF SOUND    EATING MOM    What?  Don't you dare! DAD    Hey, we were watching that! SON    Are you enjoying this? MOM    Enjoying? DAD    What do you mean? SON    All this shit they've put those people through!  You can barely tell them apart now, after they've been starved and had their heads shaved.  They look like concentration camp victims! MOM    But - but this is the last show! DAD    What does it matter if we watch or don't watch? SOUND    THROWING DOWN A REMOTE SON    Do what you want.  I'll just hope for a six-car pileup.  Maybe you'll trade up. SOUND    DOOR OPENS AND SHUT SOUND    REMOTE TAKEN, TV ON ANNOUNCER    And for tonight, the big surprise is-- SOUND    DRUM ROLL, OMINOUS MUSIC ANNOUNCER    Two boxes! SOUND    CANNED CHEERING ANNOUNCER    One for each of you.  While we get them all set, here's a word from our sponsor! AMB    BAR CROWD    Buzzing "two boxes?" BOB    [slurry] Whaddaya think they've got up their shleeves? FRED    They're gonna kill one of those boys. HELEN    [confidential] I heard that girl Allison is in a private clinic, barely alive. FRED    Where'd you--? HELEN    Internet.  BOB    [sarcastic]  Yeah.  Then it's probably true. SOMEONE    Turn it up! HELEN    Got it! SOUND    TV UP ANNOUNCER    And now.  The moment of truth!  All the votes have been tallied.  As you can see, we have Bart over here in the red box-- SOUND    CANNED APPLAUSE ANNOUNCER    [tv] --and Carl over there in the blue. SHELDON close up on Bart, camera 2. Yeah, baby, clench that jaw.  Now cut to that trickle of sweat on Carl's face.  Nice. TANYA    Back to the announcer? SHELDON One more second, and - yes! ANNOUNCER    [tv] And now, with the votes tallied, we will find out who you out there have selected as the big winner, and who has to take the big penalty.  ANNOUNCER    [real] But first, we caught each of our contestants here on secret camera last night.  Let's see what they were doing on the penultimate night. SOUND    QUICK JAB OF STATIC VOICE    [tv] ...need to get out now.  You don't understand what they have planned for tomorrow.  It's so much worse! AMB    BAR BOB    Who the hell izzat? BART    [TV] [scoff] Worse?  Worse how? HELEN    Don't know.  FRED    Look at that announcer fellow - he's surprised too.  HELEN    [half a chuckle]  Serves him right. ANNOUNCER    [tv] Sorry - we should have screened that clip before playing it.  Let's go over to Carl's shot. CARL    [tv] Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall--[cuts out suddenly] ANNOUNCER    [tv] And that's all the time we have for that.  And now the moment of truth.  Carl or Bart?  You held their fate in your hands. SOUND    COMMERCIAL COMES ON UNDER MOM    [coming in]  Where's Kyle?  Have you seen Kyle? DAD    [mesmerized]  He'll be back.  Just ... went out to a friend's house.  Probably. MOM    You should turn that off and find him! DAD    We can look in ten minutes just as easily as we can look now! MOM    This is our son! DAD    It's almost over! SOUND    OMINOUS MUSIC ON TV ANNOUNCER    [tv] And now.  The final countdown. MOM    Five minutes. SOUND    SHE SITS ANNOUNCER     [tv]  This has been quite a journey for everyone - and we would like to thank you all for your support and participation. BOB    Support?  I'd shoot that stupid bastard if I had a chance.  And a gun. HELEN    You're not the only one, but a lot of people paid a lot of money into that damn show. ANNOUNCER    [tv] --making us the highest rated network series ever-- FRED    yeah, and even WE count for ratings, since we happen to be watching it. BOB    [steaming into an alcoholic rage] Then let's not watch it! SOUND    SLAMS GLASS ON BAR, LIQUID SLOSHES FRED    Calm down, pal. BOB    No! Is this what our world has come to?  This crap?? SOUND    THROWS BEER GLASS AT TV, TV DIES, BUT OTHER SET PLAYS ON IN THE BACKGROUND CROWD    [Shocked silence] FRED    Great, one down, only seven hundred million TV sets to go. HELEN    I'll put it on your tab. CROWD     [chatter begins again] ANNOUNCER    [tv] --will definitely be returning for a second season, starting next fall-- SOUND    DOOR OPENS ANNOUNCER    [tv] --and we're looking at celebrity contestants.  TANYA    [tv]  That will be a whole new ballgame. KATHY    Sorry, didn't know it was still on. JUNE    [distraught] Stay.  Please. KATHY    Ugh.  Why? JUNE    Because I don't think I'll make it otherwise. KATHY    Make what? ANNOUNCER    [tv] And now for the final outcome.  MOM    Yes? DAD    About time. ANNOUNCER    [tv]  the final results. FRED    Don't call the police.  I'll get him home. HELEN    Yeah.  This time. ANNOUNCER    [tv] What we've all been working toward. JUNE    [crying] Can't they just say it? TV, MUSIC SWELLS, THEN CUTS OUT SUDDENLY JUNE    What? HELEN    Shit, must have blown the circuit. DAD    The electricity's still on! KATHY    Is there something wrong with your TV? MOM    No!  It's practically new! FRED    Come on.  Quitting time, pal. SOUND    TEST PATTERN NOISE, THEN MUSIC SUDDENLY CUTS BACK IN ANNOUNCER    Thank you all for participating in our experiment.  MOM    [gasp] ANNOUNCER    As you can see, all of our actors are in perfect health. JUNE    [sob]  How could they--? KATHY    Bastards. ANNOUNCER    We would love to hear your reactions to this show.  Please feel free to leave us a message at www-dot- SOUND    TV SWITCHES OFF HELEN     [last call voice] Allright.  That's it. CLOSER   [NOTE:  George Santayana, author of the quote.]

Show NotesThere are times when we realize that, looking back we see that we really didn't accomplish much the past year. And now that currently, it's late November, the end of the year is approaching and I've noticed that I'm seeing those end of year conversations on social media.When December hits, people start talking about January. And January conversations usually include those ‘resolutions' we think up in order to help us feel good about ourselves. It sort of gives us that warm and fuzzy feeling on the topic of goals and gives us a pseudo impression of moving forward with something.But resolutions, from my perspective, are only talked about from those that don't have the drive to just get stuff done on their own. And when you think about it, most (or all) resolutions are sort of shallow anyway, aren't they?·      I'm going to lose 5 lbs.·      I'm going to laugh more·      I'm going to be a nicer person·      Go a whole day without checking your emailAnd don't get me wrong, usually, these resolutions are good things. I mean, I've never heard anyone say ‘I'm going to beat somebody up each day' as a resolution. But when it comes down to the real value of a resolution…so what?This is not the stuff that driven people even think about. If you know what you want, then you just do it. You don't need a resolution statement.But in the world of small business building, I don't think I've ever heard of someone talking about resolutions. I mean, what would that even sound like anyway? And why?Because if someone is serious about getting something done, they don't need to turn their goals into some annual resolution that they wait to announce in January and then forget by February.But while we're on the topic of goal setting for the new year, I'm sure that you've already got a list of things that still need to be done from that list you made up a couple of years ago…am I right?Look, we're all like that. We come up with a long list of goals and good intentions, and I get it, they're easy to write down on paper, but then the time and motivation for getting that ‘thing' done is a bit too much to handle, so …it doesn't get done.But I've found that we can have a tendency to put things off on purpose (even if we won't admit it) and our dream ends up on the back burner…again. I just did two episodes on the fear of failure and the fear of success and I think that's got something to do with it as well.“Tom, maybe next year I'll have the time. Maybe next year I'll be able to focus on my dream. Let me just get through these New Years' resolutions first and then I'll think about my dream.” Friends, this year is last years' ‘next year'. Remember when you said last year that you were finally going to do something about having a plan to transition out of your demanding job and start a part time side hustle or full time business?You don't need to wait until every January 1st to make changes to your life. You have the dream. You know what you want. You just need the internal drive to go after your dream.And it doesn't matter what your dream is. There are a million different dreams that people have and want to pursue. Do you want to write a book? I was talking to someone today that said he wants to write a book one day. And I believe he will write a book some day. Why? Because he's driven toward action and accomplishment. He's not the kind of person that sits and watches TV all night every night. He has energy and forward motion in a number of areas of his life.But if someone said to me ‘I want to write a book someday', but didn't show any forward motion in their life or show any sign of personal development or accomplishment, I'm going to have a hard time believing what they say when it relates to the topic of discipline and ambition in order to achieve a serious goal.So if you're having a hard time being motivated or getting motivated and actually getting things done and moving in a forward direction toward your dream…whatever that is...how do you turn that around? Are you struggling with a lack of motivation? And why does that even happen to people? Why does it seem like some people are just naturally motivated toward action than others? Why do some people have an enormous amount of energy and positive outlook and others…sitting right beside them… or even members of the same family with the same upbringing and influence, just can't seem to get off the couch and turn the TV off? (you can tell I'm not a fan of watching a lot of TV)Well, let's look at some of the reasons people might be de-motivated and then look at some ways on how to get motivated and to become more driven.Here are 10 types of demotivation and the strategies that will help you find your fire:1. You're Demotivated by FearNow, if you've been listening lately, I just covered this topic of ‘The Fear of Failure' in episode 68. Then, in episode 69, the topic was ‘The Fear of Success'.When you're afraid, even if you're entering territory that you're comfortable with, a part of you could still be hesitant to go forward. Fear slows you down and makes you hesitant and careful, which can have some benefits, but sometimes your fears are based on your imagination rather than on the facts of what the actual risks are.How to get motivated again: To get motivated, you need to deal with your fear. Start by stepping out of your comfort zone just a little and see, time after time, that it wasn't so bad after all. Some of your fears will start to fade away.2. You're Demotivated by Setting the Wrong GoalsIf you're trying to figure out the small business success plan on your own and sort of just ‘winging it', you might be spending a lot of time going in the wrong direction. And going in the wrong direction, for any length of time, will feel like a waste of time…and maybe money as well.How to get motivated again: Take some time to review your goals to make sure you're on the best path possible. Not sure yet what the best path is? Then ask someone that might have a better answer because they've already been down that path before.Start building a short list of successes that will help you to be more motivated. Celebrate the little wins in your new business journey.3. You're Demotivated by Lack of ClarityWhen you haven't consciously and clearly defined what you want and how you're going to get it, your picture of your future will be vague. Our brains like what's familiar, so we resist what's unfamiliar and vague and we stay with and re-create what's familiar to us. That's why people stay in their ‘comfort zone' a bit too long. If you're not clear about the business you want to build, then it makes sense that you'll lack motivation to build it, because you'd rather stick with what you're already comfortable with.How to get motivated again: If you want to create something different from what you've been experiencing, it's not enough to just know what you don't want. You need to know what you do want, and you need to articulate a clear and specific vision of what you want to create so that you can become familiar with that new outcome and feel comfortable moving toward it. Take some time to really clarify what you want and why you want it and how you're going to get it.4. You're Demotivated by BurnoutSometimes we can put ourselves in a situation where no matter how much we've accomplished, we're trying to get more and more done each day. If you're feeling tired all the time, you've lost your energy for socializing, and taking a nap turned into not being able to get out of bed, then you've probably pushed yourself too long and hard and you may be burned out.How to get motivated again: Sleep. Get it. You need it. Then take a little time off and do something fun. And then when you're done sleeping and you find that you can focus again, start building sustainable ways to do more of what's important to you.5. You're Demotivated By Fuzzy Next StepsYour end-goal might be nice and clear, but if you haven't taken time to break it down into smaller goals, you'll get stuck, confused, and unmotivated when it's time to take action. Some projects are small and familiar enough that they don't need a plan, but if you're often worrying that you don't know what to do next and you don't have a clear plan, then this might be the source of your demotivation.How to get motivated again: If you want to keep your motivation flowing steadily through all stages of your projects, take time to create clear project plans and to schedule your plans into your calendar.Write down all of the things you're not clear on doing and turn these into research questions. Sometimes you just can't do everything yourself and that's ok… get some help if you need it.The first part of any planning stage is research, and you'll find new research questions along the way, so realize in advance that research should be part of your action plan at every stage of your project.Call for help when your motivation is fading. Having trouble? Ask for help. Email me. Talk to someone that will understand your situation. It doesn't matter who, just tell them your problems, and talking about it will help. Ask them for advice. Ask them to help you overcome your slump. It works.Think about the benefits, not the difficulties. One common problem is that we think about how hard something is. Exercise sounds so hard! Just thinking about it makes you tired. But instead of thinking about how hard something is, think about what you will get out of it. The benefits of something will help keep you moving forward.Squash negative thoughts; replace them with positive ones. As I like to say ‘think about what you're thinking about'. It's important to monitor your thoughts. Recognize negative self-talk, or that ‘negative playlist' you might have running in the background of your brain.When you're more aware of that negative thinking playlist, you can be more proactive for being in a more present moment mindset.The list of benefits we get by living in the present is nearly endless. Scientists are discovering more and more benefits every day. One thing is for certain, I doubt you could do anything for yourself that would be more helpful than adopting a present moment mindset. It's challenging, but well worth the effort.Some of the advantages you can enjoy by keeping your mind in the present:•      Lower blood pressure•      Enhances sleep•      Relieves stress•      Reduces chronic painFriends, these are some serious benefits.But the goal of the Podcast isn't to just talk about health issues. The goal of the Podcast is to address the issues of starting and launching your online business. But part of that is dealing with mindset issues. And the lack of motivation is definitely one that I keep coming across in my travels and conversations with people.So if you're wondering why you seem to be stuck in a rut or just looking back into the past couple of years and not seeing much progress, it could be because you've lost your motivation toward progress and pursuing your dreams.Personal brand business or Podcast launch coaching: www.tomclairmont.com/coachingDo you want to start your own Podcast? Download the FREE E-book and view the webinar I have for you www.diypodcastlaunch.comCheck out my FREE, E-book of the Month Club that deals with a lot of the core issues that small business startups can have.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/small-biz-essentials/exclusive-contentAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Our Crew discusses Loki So far, followed by Eric and Hunter (mostly) talking about Video Games for a while in. . . The Phantom Zone WP https://wp.me/p7UubD-JQ Anchor https://anchor.fm/phantomzonepod/episodes/TPZP-108--Comics-On-TV-Well-Id-Never-Do-It-Again-e134lru Youtube IZA ASSISTANCE https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-isaiah-stay-on-his-feet?utm_campaign=p_lico%20share-sheet&utm_medium=copy_link&utm_source=customer&fbclid=IwAR0kXYSSF3-pZe_5c6zT2GkZsLzPKL-xRFleCypLuZHubRxsHoHq57Bwe74 https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/IZAGrey?fbclid=IwAR13CMDtsh9WsOK2CLCvU8BgP3XBKIZvq9pCXvo_Uhvc_Ai7zRo3Ne3aT9U Theme Song by Erik Dudley who can be found at Erik the Dud.

Back once again and is one of us a royal? Dan is still gloating over the FA Cup final and has Gavin attempted to complete TV? Well it certainly seems like it. Have we come up with a million dollar tv show, probably not. We have exciting news about our international reach, hello there France and most excitingly Iran. Dan has a quiz just in time for Ellen to be cancelled it seems. We have the answers to who you lovely people would have play you in a film and we have a new question. This weeks recommendations : Action Bronson : Latin GrammysHefner : The Greedy Ugly PeopleJohn K. Samson : Fantasy Baseball at the End of the World Catch us here: Email : betherewithbelson@gmail.comInstagram : @betherewithbelsonTwitter : @therewithbelson

Episode 42 brings us to Josuel Musambaghani, one of DR Congo's most exceptional gifts to the United States. Discover why Josuel has a passion for education, healthcare, and social justice. But where did today's software engineer begin? Was he your typical geek like it's claimed on TV? Well, come find out as Josuel takes us on this lovely journey through lakes, rivers, a volcano, an HBCU, coding, and so much more. My episodes with Congolese guests are never dull, indeed! Josuel also takes volunteering very seriously and is a big part of the NGO Malaika.org.    Checkout & Support Mailaika https://malaika.org/For more Information about Kwafrika Travels  https://www.kwafrikatravel.com/

A new MP3 sermon from Kingsport Sovereign Grace Church is now available on SermonAudio with the following details: Title: TV: Well Fed Sheep Speaker: Gabe Stalnaker Broadcaster: Kingsport Sovereign Grace Church Event: TV Broadcast Date: 5/3/2020 Bible: John 21:15-17 Length: 28 min.

March 27th, 2020 | Are you self isolating in the comfort of your home but don't have any idea what to watch on the TV? Well, look no further than this comprehensive guide to Dillon and Zach's favorite movies, series, and more to keep you occupied! Email dollarbeernightshow@gmail.com @dollarbeerpod @zachrotello @dhyden15 @kcarter79 @average_torso

Need a break from the news? Perhaps an escape to some mindless, yet wildly entertaining, maybe even semi-trashy TV? Well do we have an episode for you! We review our fave binge-worthy shows that will have you keep pressing play on the remote, while losing track of the day. Listen in to find out what… Continue reading Ep92: DBP’s Binge-Worthy

(00:18) Bell was all smiles last week when talking about classic N64 wrestling games, but that doesn't even compare to how excited he gets in this episode when Nick calls him out on his rekindled obsession. (5:18) Watching anything good on TV? Well you should be, and Nick's not afraid to tell you what to watch. (10:33) Pre-season NFL fever hits Winnipeg and the guys are divided on whether or not it's worth the cost of admission. (16:53) Jay-Z and the NFL...Go! (34:54) The guys get into a two part "Friction" question that gets you thinking about the value of a dollar as well as your future.    Subscribe for FREE and leave us a cool review, then follow us on Twitter and IG @thirstworldpod... What too much?   Have a great idea for a topic or story you want to share with us? Would you like to be a guest on the show? Leave us a voicemail at www.thirstworldproblems.ca or get at us at thirstworldpod@gmail.com

Is the caller there? Is the caller fed up with filthy TV? Well find out how people felt in 1981 as silver-haired TV talk legend Phil Donahue talks to Pastor John Hurt of the Clean Up TV Campaign and Chicago TV critic Gary Deeb. What shows did 1980s churchgoers find the most offensive? How did the Campaign actually want to clean up TV? What did the studio audience think? Plus which BOTNS favorite does Gary Deeb call a "toilet show"?

For no other reason than I'm not asleep, here's a surprise edition of my old 21 Questions podcast with TV (Well, mosty radio) funnyman Phil Ellis. Don't remember much about it, might be good, might be shit.

Noticed a trend that Ali loves talking about TV? Well, this episode includes a 40ish minute tangent, with best friend Emily Frieband, about Survivor (recorded after S38 E10), The Amazing Race (recorded after S31 E1), and The Bold Type. If TV talk isn't for you, or don't think you can last through all 75 minutes then skip to 36:01 to hear talk about the bold type or 45:45 to skip all the tv talk. Topics also include journaling, baseball, a healthy Philadelphia v. New England rivalry, and more!!

Do you love food TV? Well who cares cause Muñoz & Marie are OBSESSED! Hold on to your knots as M & M dish about where the fork is Paula Deen, to The Pizza Show’s hottie Frank Pinello, to hosting a live In Yo Mouth […] The post IN YO MOUTH (https://www.in-yo-mouth.com) .

Join Emily Maesar on a journey through TV. It's episode #28. Did you know that I love TV? Well get ready for the shows I'm excited about for the end of spring/beginning of summer season! Some are new shows, some are returning, they're all gonna be great! Theme - "Buffy Theme" Nerf Herder Twitter: @SyndicatedCast & @emilymaesar Patreon: goo.gl/yo5160

On February 6, 2014, Jay Leno Left the Tonight Show and hasn’t been seen since… by me. I’m Jude Tedmori, a “comedian” and fame seeker, and I have taken it upon myself to find him. Today, my friends Joe McAdam and Chris Stephens (the sketch group, Butt), go to Fry’s Electronics (2311 N Hollywood Way, Burbank, CA 91505) to see if we find him. Do we find him? Do we buy a new TV? Well, Listen!

Gather 'round as designer and educator Josh Jordan tells us about about the unstoppable force of creativity, candy as cultural exchange, and collaboration as the cure for impostor syndrome. Should larpwrights be keeping an eye on reality TV? Well, probably not, I guess... Josh's Website Living Games Tyrkisk Peber Sarah Lynne-Bowman on Backstory Evan Torner's "Literary and Performatice Imaginaries - Where Characters Come From" Sons of Kryos Teacher Has Personalized Handshakes With Every Single One of His Students Parsley Games Doll Heroine Vast & Starlit Dangers Untold Banana Chan's "They're Onto Me" Caitlynn Belle's Patreon Jackson Tegu's Patreon The Upgrade! A Short Film Versed Kimmy Walters' "Uptalk" Jordan Stewart's "When We Were Young" is out of print The Impostors will be on Kickstarter Soon!

New York! What a wonderful city! The city that never sleeps, the city that brought us Broadway, The Great Bambino, way to many Dick Clark New Year's shows, apparently pizza, and now THIS?! That's right we watch VH1's "I Love New York" which IS NOT a misappropriated Travel Channel show but actually a show about... I... I actually don't know who she is... a woman famous for.... I ... I actually have no idea why she's even famous... well a woman looking for love in all the wrong... but, like... is she really? I mean, it all seems kind of staged.... but then isn't all reality TV? Well at least you can watch along as we take an in depth look at how gender roles are reversed in pop culture dating, the portrayal of African American culture in television, and... seriously who am I kidding, this is the exact same show as Rock of Love but with different people doing slightly different things. Did you listen to Rock of Love last week? Same show, only we get a little bit crazier, the jokes are a little bit zanier, the whole world is a little more koo koo bananas, and the resident studio dog throws up in the corner. I won't say we reinvented the wheel with this one, but we do get pretty ridiculous as per our sexy sexy voices.  Tune in each Monday as we choose a new show and make more wildly inaccurate assumptions. Okay byeeeeee.

Don't let the title make you think this is all we discuss. We, along with Matt from Reasons are Several and Dave from Diamond Minds/Podcast without Borders fame, join us to discuss a full range of fun and entertaining pop culture programming. You a fan of movies and TV? Well so are we! Press play and give us an hour of your life. We'll thank you now...   Support the show at www.patreon.com/monkeypoostudios Find us on Twitter @s7evendaysageek

Do you believe everything you see on TV? Well, we hope to find out in this episode as we take A Closer Look (see what I did there?) at a phenomena where a paranormal investigate team becomes less and less... Continue Reading →

Do you like comics? Do you like TV? Well this Weekend Bang is just for you, cause I , Sir Aaron Carter, am bringing you as many show, that are comic inspired, Right to your eardrum. Its a three man death-match on this episode as Cory and Steven are the only men brave enough to step in the Weekend gauntlet. We tackle it all from the Walking Dead, which I think the show is headed towards failure, to Arrow, which seems to be heading in the opposite direction. Not to totally leave games out we discuss some of the features you may not know about in the PS4. Spoiler you might know about them already. Listen carefully to the show and i guarantee you’ll learn a thing or two on this weeks comic inspired Weekend Bang!

Ever want to see three over privileged white dudes talk about having sex with robots and the representation of minorities in TV? Well then, do I have a podcast episode for you.