Contemplations

Hi everyone,This video isn't a goodbye but a see you later. I talked on the video so I won't write something long here. I suggest for you to watch the video (I'm actually really happy to see Substack introducing the video feature).Until next time, may you never let go of your dreams, may you stay open and creative ~ and may you enjoy all the moments of your life

Subscribe to my newsletter: https://winphyo.substack.comMy paintings and poetry: https://www.winphyo.com This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit winphyo.substack.com

Subscribe to my newsletter: https://winphyo.substack.comMy paintings and poetry: https://www.winphyo.com This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit winphyo.substack.com

Subscribe to my newsletter: https://winphyo.substack.comMy paintings and poetry: https://www.winphyo.com This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit winphyo.substack.com

Subscribe to my newsletter: https://winphyo.substack.comMy paintings and poetry: https://www.winphyo.com This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit winphyo.substack.com

Subscribe to my newsletter: https://winphyo.substack.comMy paintings and poetry: https://www.winphyo.com This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit winphyo.substack.com

My Dear Rose BushMy dearCut yourself some slackA rose bush with wilting flowersThat are not getting the right nutrientsShe needs to flourishIs not beating herself up About being unable to celebrateThe blooming neighbouring bushes Her attention at present is too focusedShe's merely trying to sustain herselfWith what she has been givenAs best as she canIn the StudioThis week I'd like to put your attention onto two things. Number 1 - I recorded this episode for you, totally unscripted, filled with spacious gaps and vulnerable musings from today. I am prioritising to not go to bed at 1am tonight so no music, no scripting but pure riffing.The audio contains much more than what I am writing to you now. I hope it adds a bit of inspiration for your day. Number 2 - Last week I made a Youtube video that I am really proud of. A video that is starting to have some hints of the type of storytelling I like and would like to do more of. I will delve into my journey recording my life in another newsletter podcast. But for now ~ if you have a spare 14minutes of your day where you are not sure quite how to fill it ~ check out the following video. I would love to know what you thought of it. As always, thank you for tuning in.Love,WinSome housekeeping refreshers:* Firstly, check out this page if you have forgotten who I am.* I am using Substack to publish this newsletter. You will start receiving from right here in your inbox. Alternatively, you can check out Substack website or on the Substack app to read and listen to the full archives.* The audio file is also being broadcasted as a podcast so if you prefer, you can find it and follow on Apple Podcast and also on Spotify.3 things you can do to support my work:With love,Win This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit winphyo.substack.com

Subscribe to my newsletter: https://winphyo.substack.comMy paintings and poetry: https://www.winphyo.com This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit winphyo.substack.com

Subscribe to my newsletter: https://winphy@.substack.comMy paintings and poetry: https://www.winphyo.com This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit winphyo.substack.com

If you like what you've heard, subscribe to my newsletter to get these episodes straight to your inbox on > https://winphyo.substack.comFind my paintings and poetry on >https://www.winphyo.com/gallery This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit winphyo.substack.com

This week I am back at my mum's house to help her with the final parts of the cleaning and moving. Last week I shared the beginning parts of a chapter in a fiction book I was writing three years ago. I must admit, this was my first time I let it out into the world. Unfinished, raw, unedited.Are 1am decisions sensible? All I know is I woke up Sunday morning thinking, “Ohhh no, why did I do that?”But I am creatively impulsive. And I do believe that everything happens for a reason whether we planned it or not.The journey of this book is still to be confirmed.For now, I have been in my studio painting out stories rather than writing them.And I am enjoying that very much.Without further a do, this is part two ~ the part where the moon drops some truth bombs onto Ona.Love,WinSome housekeeping refreshers:* Firstly, check out this page if you have forgotten who I am.* I am using Substack to publish this newsletter. You will start receiving from right here in your inbox. Alternatively, you can check out Substack website or on the Substack app to read and listen to the full archives.* The audio file is also being broadcasted as a podcast so if you prefer, you can find it and follow on Apple Podcast and also on Spotify.3 things you can do to support my work:With love,Win This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit winphyo.substack.com

Dear listeners, readers and loyal email subscribers,Between running household errands, giving myself the grace of having a break this afternoon to have some chickpea curry and masala chai at my favourite spot in Bristol…to then spend a delicious afternoon in the studio painting and filming before indulging myself again to make Vietnamese spring rolls and ramen with my boyfriend Brett, whilst watching the infamous EDM festival, Tomorrowland, on Youtube…I foolishly overestimated my capabilities that I would be making sense to write something at 1am in the morning. Today I gave myself the grace of rest and it entered me wholeheartedly than I have felt all week. I am grateful. But what has given is the perfection I normally take to compile my weekly newsletters. Forgive me. This week, the writing doesn't match the audio. The image doesn't match the strength and loneliness I feel in my heart in experiencing my mum, the cats and the pigeon move out of my house. Thinking I would record a short poem for you tonight, I came across a chapter from a book I wrote about three years ago. It was what I needed to hear. And I guess I was crazy enough to record it at the early hours of the morning. This one is special. Maybe it will materialise in the world one day. Stay tuned for Part 2 next week.Love,WinSome housekeeping refreshers:* Firstly, check out this page if you have forgotten who I am.* I am using Substack to publish this newsletter. You will start receiving from right here in your inbox. Alternatively, you can check out Substack website or on the Substack app to read and listen to the full archives.* The audio file is also being broadcasted as a podcast so if you prefer, you can find it and follow on Apple Podcast and also on Spotify.3 things you can do to support my work:With love,Win This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit winphyo.substack.com

Subscribe to my newsletter: https://winphy@.substack.comMy paintings and poetry: https://www.winphyo.com This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit winphyo.substack.com

My youtube video mentioned: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FpuTzNYob_USubscribe to my newsletter: https://winphy@.substack.comMy paintings and poetry: https://www.winphyo.com This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit winphyo.substack.com

A Love Letter To YouFrom my studio to yoursThis week I write this love letter to you, to the you who is feeling that you are failing, to the you who feels like you might just give up, to the you who has the biggest dreams, to the you who cannot see beyond your current circumstances.Dear Beautiful Human,Now expect nothing but softness and vulnerability in this letter, because after all, we are made of the shining stars that are seen against the darkness. I will be gooey like the chocolate oozing out of a brownie because our lives are really that delicious.I know right now it seems like you can barely enjoy the flavours that make up the rich tapestry of your life. I know right now it seems like you are all alone.But dear one, behind you, are thousands of your ancestors. We are cheering you on. We are chanting to you to, “Keep Going”In your hands, you have the power of our souls. We have lived through many centuries, we have crossed many terrains, we have mastered many lessons and have overcome many challenges.I know. I know. These days are hard. These days are tiring. These days are confusing.To have a body, to take care of a body, to understand how to use a body well is one of the most joyous and difficult things of all.But my love, you are well equipped. Our energies live through your veins. Your blood pulses with life waiting to be embraced.Just when you think you are about to give up is when you are suppose to rise up to face it all with courage.Just when you are about to look outward for answers, look within.Just when you feel so weak, you cannot bear the thought of living like this for another day, dare to find what is love in this moment, even if all you can feel is little.Just when you feel yourself spiralling in your own mind, drop it all and lay down on a bed of wildflowers.We are made of the courage of the stars that shine in the darkness.Keep believing that you are a creator, making something from nothing; that you have always been a strong person with a clear vision that you have seen in everyone else all this time.Why do you think you see their good qualities in the first place?Comparison shows us not our weaknesses, but our biggest strengths.Trust that you do not know the big picture now but you are always guided into the right timing of things. Trust in everything that unfolds moment by moment, day by day. Trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be.Live fully in your body. Recognise the nature of your mind. And together, know you are meant to dream big and you are meant to take brave and steady steps to get there.I am with you. We are all with you. You cannot see us but you can feel us when you enjoy how the sun feels on your body, when you watch the clouds go by in the sky, when you experience your heart beating like a steady drum. All the things that can go by unnoticed are our footprints that we have existed and that we are still here.Do not stay in the murky waters of self pity and guilt for too long. You can never do us wrong. We will always love you and forgive you.For as long as you are alive keep walking. Keep loving. Keep having faith.Love,Your AncestorsSome housekeeping refreshers:* Firstly, check out this page if you have forgotten or don't know who I am.* I am using Substack to publish this newsletter. You will start receiving from right here in your inbox. Alternatively, you can check out Substack website or on the Substack app to read and listen to the full archives.* The audio file is also being broadcasted as a podcast so if you prefer, you can find it and follow on Apple Podcast and also on Spotify.3 things you can do to support my work:With love,WinInstagram | Youtube | Paintings | Hire A Poet This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit winphyo.substack.com

Subscribe to my newsletter: https://winphy.substack.comMy paintings and poetry: https://www.winphyo.com This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit winphyo.substack.com

Subscribe to my newsletter: https://winphyo.substack.comMy paintings and poetry: https://www.winphyo.com This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit winphyo.substack.com

Check out the reference images and videos mentioned in this episode in my newsletter {link below}Subscribe to my newsletter: https://winphyo.substack.comMy paintings and poetry: https://www.winphyo.com This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit winphyo.substack.com

Check out the reference images and videos mentioned in this episode in my newsletter {link below}Subscribe to my newsletter: https://winphyo.substack.comMy paintings and poetry: https://www.winphyo.com This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit winphyo.substack.com

Welcome HomeYou have been through aLong journeyYou have crossed theMost difficult terrainsEncountering the violent weatherParched from the dessertHeat from the rainforestYour clothes are drenchedYour skin is dryYour feet full of blistersWelcome homeNow dearTake a restDeep full breathsSip some teaLet's put a warm blanketaround your bodyYou are hereAt the right placeAnd you are alwaysOn timeIn the StudioIt's four days left before I take the train on Friday evening to London. Then an early morning flight on Saturday will take me all the way from London to Chicago O'Hare Airport where Brett's dad will be waiting.We are due to spend less than a day with his parents in the suburb, just outside of Chicago.Then, an early morning drive on Sunday will take back us to Chicago O'Hare Airport again for a flight to San Francisco, where our second hosts, Brett's brother and wife, will be waiting.That means, by the time you get this message, I will be getting ready to get on my second flight, baggy eyes and all.But look at me. Touring around the United States, kind of. I am happy to be with my American boyfriend, who has family there. It means I have a really good excuse to go back frequently. Experience the City life and immerse myself into a different culture.A time to really get outside of myself to meet reflections of the external world that exist beyond my own.Brett and his presence alone, gets me out of the house. That's just the kind of person he is. He loves to stay active. He goes on lots of walks. He gets me out of my own world. He is very much a good influence, although the amount of travelling he does gives me FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) sometimes.If you get to know Brett, you would realise how much he loves travelling.When we got together, I very much saw that if there is one thing that gives back to him so much energy and appreciation for being alive in this world- it's travelling.Since I started pursuing my dreams, I've become a messy person.The mess can wait if it means the idea is completed or explored.I don't do it intentionally. I just seem to forget everything else around me when I really have something I want to focus on.And a week before this trip, I suddenly found myself working on this newsletter, rather than packing.What else is there to do but write, as I felt compelled to do?That is the thing about doing the work.There is no other way around it.The writer must write.The speaker must speak.The artist must draw.The traveller must travel.The identity itself is a label. We just do what must be done.And to give time to what makes us feel alive always has a trade off.For me this week, it's the lack of sleep.We don't have graduation in creativity or entrepreneurship.We don't have right or wrong answers.Artists rarely compete with each other but instead we compete with themselves.And ever since I started asking questions about:* how can I create paintings that resemble the feelings from my heart?* or writing that stirs my soul?* or questions about how I can let go off this idea that to be an artist means we must always act from a place of being wounded, or naive or being too introverted or too extroverted?* and how to just let my expression be as diverse as my interests themselves?Ever since I started asking these kinds of questions, I've never been able to look back.I've become addicted to learning as an adult.Learning as an adult on the journey of pursuing dreams is like playing a video game.Every level completed gives a boost of confidence that this isn't so bad after all.That it is possible. I can do it.And the deeper I go, the more I realise perfection is overrated.It prevents one from learning.It prevents one from taking risks and doing things.It prevents one from experimenting.And ultimately, it prevents one from growing and keeping an open mind in life.We try to have everything in order but chaos has been the fundamental birthplace of our solar system.So if you feel like you're definitely not doing things correctly or that you are making things up in your own life, congratulations.I'll let you in on a secret. This whole newsletter thing? I don't have this figured out.But isn't that how unexpected discoveries happen? You know, the stuff we tell stories about?If you want to hear more about imperfection, I talk about it in this Youtube video. You can find it on the link below:Some housekeeping refreshers:* Firstly, check out this page if you have forgotten who I am.* I am using Substack to publish this newsletter. You will start receiving from right here in your inbox. Alternatively, you can check out Substack website or on the Substack app to read and listen to the full archives.* The audio file is also being broadcasted as a podcast so if you prefer, you can find it and follow on Apple Podcast and also on Spotify.3 things you can do to support my work:With love,Win This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit winphyo.substack.com

Hi friend,After nearly two years of hiatus, I come back to my newsletter Contemplations again.It has been a long time coming and before I tell you about why I had such a long break and what you can expect in your inbox from now on, I want to say:THANK YOU.I am quite sure to bet that your life in the past two years have also been an interesting ride- full of both the ups and the downs, the peace and periods of fast momentum, of growing deeper roots, BUT -You continued to stay subscribed to this newsletter. This act of loyalty and support, I am deeply grateful to you for staying.Where have I been?Shortly after ending last season of newsletter and podcasting, life took an unexpected turn.After some years of persuasion from my sister and I, my mother finally left an abusive relationship with my dad. I experienced a heartbreak unlike any other romantic love encountered so far in witnessing the divorce of my parents in my adult life.My mother moved in with me, taking with her nine cats and a rescued pigeon.It was a steep learning curve to be an independent person, with a life filled with solitude to a life that took a different form ~My boyfriend a few months prior got his visa and he made a big move from the US to the UK to be with me.There we were: 3 humans, 9 cats and 1 pigeon in 1 relatively spacious but now feeling suddenly small, house. You do the math.I won't bore you with the details. But insert here moments of equal chaos, tears, anguish, confusion, happiness, love and laughter. We all had to grow out of our old skins pretty fast.Where do we go from now?Right in the middle of my parents ongoing divorce, naively or stubbornly or bravely (you decide), I made a decision to begin pursuing my dream of becoming a professional artist poet seriously.I think my parents divorce and the changes I experienced made me realise that this life we have is short. I also no longer had my father's fear driven thoughts beside me, but instead replaced by my mum's infinite belief of possibilities.So in the time you didn't hear from me, I was doing my due diligence and much experimentation and learning to continue to grow as a creative person and as an entrepreneur.This journey of pursuing my dreams have changed me significantly and I have grown much from the woman who started this newsletter back in 2021.Welcome to the Season of ClimbingJust like the seasons of the year, my poetry is linked to the seasons of my life. The previous season I have named Season of Contemplations - a time of deep solitude, questions and searching.I look up at the heights above me and I feel my freedom knowing the winds and the rocky surface Would give me the protection I need on this climb.Now is the Season of Climbing, my friend. A season where we learn to revel in the very real, very practical, very unpredictable path of new beginnings.In this season, we are not just dreaming, but doing.We are not just resting, but resting intentionally to grow deeper roots.We are not in solitude, but very much a part of a family, friends and community.We climb steadily with enjoyment and hope, faith and laughter, and should we also grieve for a past long gone, we grieve with possibilities for a better future, undetermined but very real to us just like the ground beneath our feet.Every Sunday, I will publish a short poem as written and spoken word - just long enough so you can enjoy it while you have a cup of hot drink (or water!) and take a moment of rest from your day.Should it take your fancy, there will also be a short segment where I tell you about my week and what is happening in my studio. I decided to add this to my weekly archive because I think it can be quite comforting to know you are not alone in this climb and journeying along this game of life.I hope we can continue to be on this path of contemplating and growing together.Some housekeeping refreshers:* Firstly, check out this page if you have forgotten who I am.* I am using Substack to publish this newsletter. You will start receiving from right here in your inbox. Alternatively, you can check out Substack website or on the Substack app to read and listen to the full archives.* The audio file is also being broadcasted as a podcast so if you prefer, you can find it and follow on Apple Podcast and also on Spotify.3 things you can do to support my work:With love,Win This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit winphyo.substack.com

Beyond my window Is a whole wide world There are trees swaying in the wind There are birds singing songs The dogs are barking and the cars Are moving along Just as the people who stop and stare Or go about their business to somewhere The sun still shines The neighbour's cat visits my porch Everyone and everything continues Beyond my window There is a time for everything and today marks my last post of this season, which has unexpectedly lasted for 7months. When I first started this podcast newsletter, I didn't expect myself to write for this long and consistently every week.Sometimes the process challenged me, but more commonly, I found different ways of experimenting with spoken word, in finding old and new voices both in written and spoken formats, and turning up to a black page; surprising myself of the words that flowed out in front of me.I also deepened some relationships and found a way of connecting with close and new friends, home and abroad. I found that a newsletter is a great way to connect with those far away. My visitation into their emails almost replicated the conversations we have when we are together. I learned from their sharing of their stories just as I shared mine.Just as nature as its own seasons, I think I am also coming to a cycle of rest and renewal.A lot of the poetry I read came from deep moments of rest and renewal. Of disconnecting to connect within and living life in many different ways.It came from writing down my jumbled up thoughts without a form of organisation.I've heard from a few people of how the voice I seem to have developed in many of my thinking and writing is of “wisdom.” But I don't feel wise. I feel like for the past seven months, I've merely recorded flashes of insights that I recognise in my own or someone else's life.Sometimes it is not based on a true story but of a theory. Sometimes it is based on many stories interconnecting with one another.Regardless, I think, for now it is time for me to take a pause. I've seen many people take different forms of breaks this summer. I've been denying myself of one until now.I am curious to the next stage of how my writing will unfold and how my voice will evolve and in what ways I will use it for.If there is a next season, it will be as purposeful as this one.I hope you will give yourself the permission to rest and unplug. To not just peer outside of your window, as the poem suggests, but to step outside of it. To experience the birds, the trees, the dogs, the cats and the people who are living their own lives, living centrally in their own lives as the main character of their own projects and dramas, as we all do; and recognise that all of this and more awaits for our witnessing of them beyond the windows we have built for ourselves.In the meantime, do go back to the previous episodes and archives of the newsletters and podcast episode. They're available on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and if you are subscribed to this newsletter, it will go straight into your inbox.Thank you for coming on this journey with me for the past seven months. I have really enjoyed writing and recording for you.May we all live by our own wisdom, and for that wisdom to be crumble every once in awhile to be built up again.Contemplations:How will you be pausing this year?What are your favourite ways of disconnecting to connect?In what ways can you learn to pivot in your life so that a renewal can take place? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit winphyo.substack.com

Have you seen a tree that grows to maturity in a day? My mother once told me about spiders building their webs “You didn't grow up watching spiders so you don't know,” she would tell me “The spider produces his own web and many times he would lose grip and he would fall again and again He would then climb back up again and again Continuing to construct his intricate web” This is the timeline of nature Where no sequence of our life is constructed in 24 hour blocks There is only wisdom and patience that all things will grow and unfold in their own time There is only the trust and faith that all the nutrients and connections required for survival will be given Far from our own egoic interference We can bear witness to these cycles of natureContemplations:What is your life's work right now?Where in your life have your sense of time become small? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit winphyo.substack.com

The human journey is a funny phenomenon.There are those who decide early in the beginning that what they perceive to be real is something that only they can see in the physical realm of the senses. They disregard anything that cannot be explained by the logical brain, labelling the ones that talk and speak to the invisible forces as crazy. The crazy people continue to dance to the music only they seem to hear; they continue to speak to the unseen. The crazy people had long been an outcast in much of the history of society- those that did not live up to their parents expectations, of showing fully fledged capabilities because in an already established world, their contribution is not needed nor welcomed. For wild hearts like theirs are a threat to those that made up the rules. And so, to those that decided to abandon their wild hearts from a young age, they continue to ignore a deep part of themselves that wish to scream at the moon and dance to the rhythm of a heart that wish to beat to an irregular rhythm orchestrated by their soul's expression.There are also those who in the beginning decide to be rid of the material world. It is as though they have been on Earth multiple times before, have seen it all and done it all and now have had enough- enough to wonder why they even came back in the first place. The materialistic society is a trigger for their souls who now yearn to be elsewhere. And so, they seek refuge alone in the caves and mountains, or in some other solitary confinement. Some reject larger societal structures to form ones of their own, building something similar yet different from their humanly counterparts. They too, call the ones embedded in the constructs of the established societies as crazy. The crazy people who continue to go to bed and wake up at the same time, to perform some repetitive routines and willingly give their faith and time away to a bigger entity of corporations. And so, these wild hearts end up being blind to the mirroring essence of their lives with the ones in monotony- that their choice to repetitively chop wood in the mountains or clear the dead wood from the forest before the summer comes is no different to the ones that decide to do it in a different way.The polarising choices demonstrated by humans embarking on their own journeys in both extremes are often both sides of the same coin.Free will is evident throughout the human journey. For every choice a human being makes, there lies a basic human need to fulfil something, coupled with an essence of being. Choice is a word diluted in today's society for one's choice is always influenced by the past, the present and the future. If an undesired occurrence happened in one's life, would you accept choice or would you turn to blame, anger and regret, feeling victimised instead of empowered, regardless of the seemingly positive or negative outcome?And there are those of us who have souls that are always trying to balance the two extremities. In between our wild hearts and the need for regularity in a wider society, we rest in between rebellion to our ideals and belonging to the society at large. Abandonment to both is not possible for our love for humanity is wide and expansive. Denying one is to deny a part of ourselves and that only cause us an ache of longing. As if our souls are somehow trying to find the balance in the ebb and flow of the two extremities, we forever question if we are doing the right thing. How do we accept both life and death in our human journey? Do we concentrate more on the seen or the unseen? What is of most importance - which side is right? How do we balance both - if neither is right?A day in our lives are filled with opportunities to both enjoy and be of service. There certainly are growing pains as we deny the responsibilities of such a life. What is a responsibility if not a choice that aligns with our intention? We have been given these bodies, these minds and these hearts - all like soldiers ready for the battle, they are here to use all their mighty powers for this human life. They are ready for your command my dear - what will you do with such powers? Surely a life of responsibility taken under our wings, of imagination and dreams chased to our limited and limitless borders are better than a soul that has decided to resign in weariness before they have even begun.It is possible to go about our ways of the world with all our sensory windows open, so much so that to the outside world, we are completely absorbed and deep amongst our ventures. Yet, to their disillusion, we have in our mind's eye our faithfulness to the very connection of the unseen beyond, which made it possible for us to be here.And so, we do it over and over again. Giving ourselves completely into this world yet never being unfaithful to the unseen, with a knowing of where we came from and when we will go back. That when it is time for us to go back, to which none of us knows for no one arrives on Earth with a death certificate in hand. When it is time, we go with no regrets. In the end there should be no regrets regardless of what happened in our lives. Practice giving compassion to yourself dear right now, so you will be able to leave with no regrets, no what ifs, no how comes, no who may…In those precious few seconds left, we give merits to the good things we have done and we leave in celebration.And until then, we rise out of bed, we move in repetitive motions, we surprise ourselves in our humanness, we sink back into our beds and do it all - again and again and again.Contemplations:In the season of summer, what has been dawning on you recently about the world? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit winphyo.substack.com

Love is forever a mystery to those that do not let her in. To those with thick skins and walls built up, high enough to suffocate themselves with their own air, love is fickle and too weak. They see another soul as an obstacle, in the way of the plans they have made. When Love suddenly puts another soul in their path, they think she is mocking them. “I will show Love!” They say, as though Love is yet another obstacle course to climb over and afterwards to gloat at how strong they have been, in no recognition of the fact that Love is here for their freedom.Something mysterious happens when two souls collide. If you or I predicted, prior to the collision, of the possibilities of the chemical reactions, if we were both even the Sadhus who could read minds, we would be wrong. In between karma and free will, the collision of these souls create a reflection of a random kind of divinity, a separate entity, based on the original two sources. One plus one equals one. Nothing is taken away nor divided. All stays as one. All becomes the unified one.Stories about perfection has been told about Love but she laughs at human's idealistic nature because she is anything but perfect. Lies have been told about Love's happily ever afters but she laughs at their lack of vocabulary because she looks for expansion and not happiness.Those that begin to shave off the excess skin, now becoming dry and hard to achieve by hand; those that begin to hammer down the walls they have built to keep Love away, they find themselves in a mess. The hard skin once removed leaves blotches of uneven holes in one's flesh. The hammering scatters dust and broken bricks all over their environment, making them cough and forcing them to squint.For those with no thick skin nor high walls to begin with, Love is ready for them but she hardly finds such souls wandering around. For on Earth, many have been left to fend in the world without Love. If something were to happen, they are quick to betray Love and turn away.For those who see Love as merely a beautiful piece of clothing to dress over or a piece of jewellery to be embellished on their bodies, they are fooled. For in such circumstances, Love sees through their tricks and she does not even visit the temples they have built and adorned.But for those who value depth over distance, Love visits their messy homes and patchy bodies. Love comes near them and asks over and over if she really matters to them. In amongst their growing pains, Love never leaves their side.So my dear, do not worry about holding space, do not worry about being ready, do not worry about your consistency of your capacity for Love, do not worry about balancing your time with his, do not worry about sustaining the both of you.Start taking down the walls you had built. Start scratching away the old scabs of skin. Every once in awhile, let him hammer down some of the walls and peel away the hardy skin. Stay curious about the entity that grows from the two of you.Love herself is curious for the growth of this child. She doesn't know how the child will evolve but every time you choose Love, you give this child a chance to grow. Many have given up on the children of Love, turning their backs, the children starve for Love until they all disappear into the abyss.This is the birth of Love and she will never leave your side. She is watching her child, smiling at her child, silently nudging at her child whilst it goes through its growing pains.Let's give this child a chance my dear. Let's see how the child will show up and grow up in this world.Contemplations:Have you welcomed Love in your home lately? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit winphyo.substack.com

“Let's try to figure everything out,” says the brain Yet the sustenance of the journey lies in the joy of the heart The object of life is joy Spontaneous and ever present to the unfoldment of surprises As the brain gauges on the desire the destination with a scalpel the object of desire flees Whilst the heart nurtures what's truly meant to be revealedThere is a poem that friends of mine introduced me to a year ago. It goes like this…If you put your nose to the grindstone rough, And keep it down there long enough, You will soon conclude that there are no such things, As a brook that babbles or a bird that sings. These three things will your world compose: Just you, the stone, And your ground-down nose.Sometimes when we look at something too closely, we do not see things properly. Sometimes when we act on something for too long, doing nothing else, we may forget our intention on the act itself, of why we started doing this thing in the first place, or, worse yet, we may not act with the right pace or fulfil it in the best possible way.I think our noses can become too close to the grindstone when we are emotionally connected to something, or when we want something so badly- that the act itself makes us succumb to the motions or obsession.Obsession is not a bad feeling. I think obsession is a derivative of passion. But at what cost when we cannot think, see or act for anything else but that very thing, metaphorically speaking, that very stone, to which we seem to be grinding?I am an obsessively passionate person myself. I found myself repeating to others that, “I don't like it when I get too obsessed.” This phrase comes out often when I am working on something I love to do. I find myself gripped with a constant call to come back to the space over and over again in body, in mind and soul, in acts of creation. For example, lately, I found myself become passionately gripped to complete a website design for the company I work in.Whatever I get into, I cannot help but get gripped by obsession.And don't get me wrong, I love this kind of obsession. It gives me a window into my heart of what it is that excites me and what it is that I am willing to put my energy into. As human beings, we have bodies that are here, I believe, to be used- to move, to explore, to connect, to love, and so on…just like the animals that flow with motion everyday in the world in which they belong, we, as humans also belong here. And thus, we will each have something to where our deliberate action will take our noses close to the grindstone.It may not even be as obvious as our area of work; although for most of us that may be the case. It may be in certain activities or in other areas of our lives such as friendships and relationships, where we are passionately obsessed. It may be tied to a particular issue we are dealing with. It may be to the act of constant partying even! Perhaps a person? You get the gist.It is not the act itself but you can trace your proximity to your grindstone from the very feeling of being suddenly gripped into a relentless mixture that could only be described as if gods and goddesses of passion and obsession themselves would meet. Heart and body locked in the act of making love constantly; a certain singularity of motion, of rhythm and focus with every second, turning into minutes, hours, days and weeks.For the passion, there is an orgasmic feeling- a high of some sort. For the obsession, there is a certain kind of stickiness that is addicted to this high- with it comes the need to become constantly bounded.In this kind of space, with our noses close to the grindstones, we are “productive” in the most modern meaning of the word: we produce a lot.But we neglect the very ground upon which we stand, the earth that we inhabit, the galaxy upon which we are spinning along to. We neglect the people who live with us on this earth, the countless numbers of living things within this galaxy. And somehow, we also neglect our right to fully belong in this world.If our passionate obsession is our work and our projects, we forget to see how our work is meeting the world: is it even meeting the world? Are we seeing even the tiniest amount of impact that we are making, or the value that we are giving? If our passionate obsession is a person, we forget their humanness Whether we love them dearly or are angry with them, we forget their humanness, much like ours.Upon realising our close proximity to the grindstone in front of us, it may seem hard to drop the stone that has been held so tightly. To let it rest. To give it some space for awhile.If we loosen our grip, fear assumes us as though our very own grip on the stone is what is making it a stone itself. When in fact, we are merely shaping it, moulding it, transforming it with our very own essence, like a magician.This very grip makes us feel less of a magician however and more like a used up, worn out rag.* To give space to our grindstone is to allow for inspiration to come- for an external source to touch this space we have occupied for so long, we must be brave to put it down, so that we can see the magic again. More often not in the stone itself but in us.* To give space is surrendering towards destiny- towards newness and voice from an unknown source and higher power.My mother always used to repeat something to my sister and I when we were young. Of course, for us, the passionately obsessive thing was to get good grades in our exams. Perhaps from our own will and theirs, we were gripped to this very thing from which our entire future (back then) seem to depend upon.And as we studied and prayed to the higher powers and to Buddha, my mother, when she saw us praying several times in the prayer room, would repeat to us, “Remember, it is not just in your own doing. You may pray a lot for this but you will also have to do the work.”And when the days of our exams came, she would say, “You have done the work, all you can do now is relax, do the exam and the higher powers will be looking out for you.”Do you see what I am seeing? There was a certain kind of emptiness that we inhabited in between our studying. It was a space filled with a sense of faith and trust that allowed for the goodness to exist in our lives. Our bodies were not merely machines. We surrendered our brains every once in awhile to come into this space of trusting in something outside of our will and our doing and with faith that this something will look out for us.* To give space to our grindstone is to accept the complexities in life and to the very groundlessness and uncertainties that our human life may be subjected to every once in awhile. Everything is in rhythm. There is not just one particular kind of rhythm in life. Melodies come in many forms and different melodies contribute to our life. Sometimes life happens, something unplanned, something unexpected and in these times, we are gently or sometimes very quickly nudged into other things that need our attention. Such occurrences can sometimes be our blessing. And in these times, it may not be so sensible to keep grinding on our stone too closely.As I have grown, I am still praying- to the higher powers and to the Buddha. But I have also been finding out that walking helps me have space between the grindstone and I. I was introduced to walking when I studied Landscape Architecture in my University. We walked everywhere and these three years of my undergraduate were where I came out of my shell and found a sense of identity, as I walked. And I fell in love with the act of walking endlessly and with nature.My work and passions these days involve a lot of time spent in front of the computer, on an iPad or being inside. So lately I have not been able to spend a lot of time outside but I have been intentionally using walking as a form of creating space- to help me expand; to help me not think about several things; to see clearly what is in front of me.Something special happens in the act of walking in silence. We observe- we look around. Things become simplified. A bird is a bird. A tree is a tree. A boat is a boat. And we are human. Our bodies find a place in this world, larger than our comprehension but comprehensible to this immediate environment, we feel both large and small. We feel a sense of belonging. And most importantly, we don't think too much. Our bodies have the time to rest, to finally sigh loudly and take a full breath of air.A friend of mine, when I asked her about her peaceful nature, said to me, “It has been an act of practice!” I was surprised. From being with her, I would have said this peace was her second nature! “I deliberately do things that rest my brain. So I'm not constantly thinking,” she explained.And I think we all need such a space. Even for a brief moment- from the grindstone to which our noses are close to. To hear a brook babbling and to hear the birds singing.In this moment of deliberate action, of choosing to drop our grindstones momentarily, we make a discovery that may shape it to a higher quality.We can be passionately obsessive. That is what allows us to express our uniqueness. I love people that are passionate about things in life. In fact, many of the people I look up to and enjoy the company of, are those that have created a binding stickiness to a particular kind of thing that they have nurtured and have come back to- again and again- and have allowed for that thing to grow now in a particular quality that is timeless. A distinctive signature if you will that can only be cultivated by being involved in such a passionate and obsessive act.Being passionately obsessive also means we find out what commitment feels like, no matter the duration of the time, even for a brief moment. We are not just doing things for the sake of doing things, although that is also important. We act with heart and intention. We use our minds clearly and with direction.But every once in awhile, I think we all owe it to ourselves to leave some space between us and our grindstones, even just for a split second, to allow moments of clarity and rest. To stop constantly searching to fill the silence with noise, action and thinking.So that we may come back fully again, into our lives, and gain a view of our grindstones with fresh eyes and new perspectives.Don't forget the magic. In that in between space, there is magic.Contemplations:What or who or where is your grindstone?How can you give space between yourself and your grindstone?In what form would this space look like? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit winphyo.substack.com

The Poet The rhythm of the footsteps Nor the chatter will not Shake her now The steady beat of the kora Invites the words to string into sentences The warm drink is Her safety blanket When her mind is empty The food is a source of nourishment For her body A comfort and a luxury To afford the inner kind of nourishment That a regular landing of the page brings She is slowly becoming a part of the furniture In this busy cafe To be hardened by practice To be broken and built up by The admission of herself There is a poet in the cafe Now she is finally writing She has already arrived She is finally writingI actually don't know the first time I wrote poetry. I can only trace it back to a written poem I have in a book. When I went on a study abroad trip to the US for a semester back in 2013, someone gave me a present as part of a Secret Santa we were doing before Christmas. For my gift, I received a small square book. It had a soft blue cover to the front and back. Indented to the blue was a series of words repeating the same thing: “write.” So if you look at the cover, all it had was a series of “write, write, write, write, write….” And on the first page of the book, my secret Santa had also written:For all the places you'll goFor all the people you'll meetFor all the sights, sounds and feelsA place to forever store themI never wrote in that book until January 2017. It was a love poem.A few years forward, when I really began to have a regular practice of writing poetry, I realised how healing it was. What began as a way of expressing pain and confusion, turned into a myriad of poems talking about power and love. What continued were poems about having faith, trust and surrendering to the mysteries of life.The more I wrote, the more my mind opened. I could not un-do what happened. Soon enough I realised that the words I was writing down had power themselves. I realised that every word I wrote could not only be used as a way of acknowledging my experiences, but also they are influential in how I perceived my reality.If I wrote a word that did not hold the vastness of my experience, it didn't feel right. This is because the page isn't a person to whom I have a prior relationship with or a person with whom I felt all kinds of obligations. The page wasn't a person I was trying to impress. I had only myself to answer to on the page. And if I wrote something that didn't feel quite right, I knew it.Therefore, I had to be honest with myself. And the page forced me to be honest. It taught me to think wider and bigger.I also started to observe how my poems had an effect on me. Every word I used was an opportunity to either contract or expand. If I wrote a sad poem, it was intentional so I could allow feelings of pain to flow through me. But I couldn't end it there because I didn't want to feel sad forever.Therefore I would then write another poem. One of courage and understanding. One of holding the bigger questions to life's humanly experiences; of both limitations and possibilities.I knew that with every word I used, the power was in the tip of my pen to transform my perspective of the experience. I also realised that if I was feeling a certain way in life, I could not just think from a bias perspective.The rhyming words, the vocabulary, the structure of the poem questioned me to think bigger, to dream bigger, to feel bigger. I had realisations such as this one:“That if I had a particular way of experiencing and feeling and doing things in life, then the opposite way of experiencing, feeling and doing things must also be equally true.”Very simple but for me, it was profound. It meant that if I was feeling negative about something, I couldn't deny in my mind that the opposite must also be equally true- that a positive or even a peaceful outlook was possible, and equally real.At present, I am also shifting into something similar but slightly different. I spent the past few years writing about me. My life experiences, my emotions, my learnings. And somehow this is translating into my understanding of others.I am currently writing a book named, “The Faces We Hold and The Faces We Meet.” The book in itself is accidental- both in theme and name. However, it came about from realising that suddenly, I was not just observing myself but others around me.My close friends, my family members, even the strangers I meet! And there on the page, I write to capture a particular essence I observe, feel and meet. I capture a particular essence of who they are and sometimes also the entirety of who I feel and observe they seem to be.Of course, like with all art forms, everything is subjective. But like a photographer taking a snapshot of a moment, I write a poem to capture the moments of loved ones and strangers.Just as writing poetry taught me to see bigger, it is teaching me of the similarities in us all. Perhaps, more so than the differences. I see that, in a poem I write about my friend, my mother or a stranger, there lies an aspect in me that is the same, if not similar. I have met this particular “face” before and it is from this place that I write- both in observation and in intuition. This poetry is allowing me to understand people. Perhaps even people that I find unpleasant. Simply because I know from my past years of writing that a particular capture is also not the entirety of their character and essence.Last week, I wrote a newsletter about “The Selves We Meet” Coincidently, even before a friend of mine knew about my topic of choice and even before my understanding became whole, about why I wrote what I wrote, she came to visit me and we had a great conversation about this very topic.We shared honestly, as honest as I am to the page, about the pieces of ourselves that we find are opposite. Pieces that serve us in different ways but yet somehow we feel the struggle to unify, to strengthen a weaker characteristic and to stabilise our default thinking and behaviour. Something that served as a tug of war inside us.Suddenly, out of my friends mouth came this phrase that was so very enlightening, “I would call it the tug of peace.” And, right there and then, in that moment, instantaneously, my experience to my many selves came to a halt. There, indeed, was nothing but a feeling of understanding- of peace. Right there, in that moment, all I felt was perfection. Both in myself and in her.  My relationship to myself changed. Right there, I realised that she indeed was perfect as she is. All was happening at the right time. She was unfolding, growing and evolving perfectly, like the perfectly sinuous lines of a drawing. And I also came to know that, indeed, so was I.This is how powerful language and words are. Turning to the page is spending time with ourselves and I am learning that in a world like ours, where we can give ourselves over to many external musings, poetry and art is where I converse with myself- the parts of me that I know and the parts of me that I do not yet know but am willing to take the time to find out. In turn, I create a belonging in this world that expand my perspective of this life and the people that inhabit this world. Everything is perfect. And there is a part to everyone, despite the seemingly chaotic mannerisms and their doing, is indeed perfect.Contemplations:How are you using language in your life?What practices allow you to connect with yourself?What is allowing you to have a bigger perspective and understanding of our human experience? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit winphyo.substack.com

The Face to be Found What to do to be me Somedays I am wise Somedays I am a child Somedays I feel like a fully fledged woman Whatever that means Somedays I am nowhere to be found Somedays all I want to do is hide Somedays you cannot shut me up Somedays I just want to spread all the love I feel in my heart Somedays I want to protect the underdog Somedays I want to just let it be Trusting that there must be someone greater than me Doing their job Somedays I am the monks from the monastery Somedays I am my immigrant family back in My imaginary childhood home Somedays I am the new friends I've met When I was all on my own Who am I when I am so changeable Let me know if you can find me I've stopped counting the many selves I've found Is it cliche to say the journey is in the discovery? Because that way I can really be at peace Without pretending that I have met The real or better me But…somedays I do pretend to be cool When really I am a bit eccentric but Trying hard to seem “normal” Somedays I don't catch myself doing all of this I've lost sleep over meeting my countless selves To see them come and go What to do to be me When I am the accumulation Of the people and experiences in my life I no longer grasp and I no longer hide Because something's got to give! The Presence I am alone in the moments When I am both near the truest thing That nourish me from the inside Where does this self go When I am not meeting them In the water On a mountain On a canvas In front of a blank page Where does this self go When I am too busy And momentum strikes in my life With things and people to attend to Yet, When it all falls away And my responsibilities have disappeared It comes back again Quiet and tempting When I think this self has left me forever When I think I have betrayed myself I meet them Once again In the water On a mountain On a canvas In front of a blank page Patient and loyal as ever I am here I am home To this self I will always be knownI once heard the poet David Whyte say that the phrase, “Be Yourself” is the least helpful thing you can say to a person.The first poem you heard is talking about the struggle of meeting our true selves. In my opinion, due to our struggle and our need to fit in, sometimes we find ourselves being anything but ourselves. It is the very essence of human nature that our environment, including the places and the people to whom we are surrounded by, makes up a large proportion of who we are and who we become.No matter our age, I am certain that at some point in our lives, we were uncertain about who exactly inhabited this body of ours. As a twenty nine year old, let me also add that my twenties have been about finding who I thought was “myself” to lose it all again and feel uncertain and unable to hold any ground of self assuredness. Is self assuredness even the ground that we should seek to be standing on?The second poem talks about when we first come to meet this self in a real way. We are lucky if we can find a place that allows this self to come out into the world and be met by us and by others.In my opinion, this is normally stimulated by some kind of activity. An activity that brings us into the the moment and somehow, we feel like “ourselves.” Somehow, in this space, all the masks, the effort, the many faces fall away and we are met with something that feels eternal. It is not a jumpy kind of feeling. It is highly intuitive, it is present and in flow, it is everything and nothing at once.I meet this self when I am painting. I find all the barriers or pretence drop away when the paint brush touches the blank wall and I am fully present. I also meet this self, in a slightly different way when I am writing. On a blank page, I am honest with myself. In both times, the voice I hear back and intuit is accepting. It tells me that all is as it should be. It shows me the bigger picture of life. And lately, I have also been meeting this self when I am in front of the prayer table. Looking into the eyes of the Buddha whilst muttering the prayers on the mala beads, I feel an immense amount of love.I know that in my sister's case, this is when she is outdoors and doing active things, activities like being in the water surfing or figuring out a route to climb on a climbing wall.We are lucky if we can find this presence. It is a self that nourishes us deeply, and I believe that we don't have to do a particular kind of activity to meet this presence. It is always there but having activities that nourish is in our lives helps us to get in touch with that presence more so. But, there also comes a point in our lives where we also meet another self. A self that gives and offers to others. After all, we are living a human life and part of what every one of us as human beings go through is our need to find “ourselves” but also to translate that in a way that is most authentic and honest to the external world.Let me tell you that this isn't always easy! We are not only up against many voices, but I think especially at this day and age with our strong presence on social media, we have a challenge of portraying this honesty and authenticity to our digital faces as well. And let me tell you that this isn't always easy!The question I currently hold in my life, perhaps the biggest and most mysterious of all questions I have had so far to date, is how my face meets the world. In finding art, in finding painting and poetry, I now seek to give and offer from this space of nourishment to others.I think this self, the self that we meet in activities that nourish us, feeds into our giving and offering for others externally. But the funny thing is that, right now, I am realising that we don't have to make them identical.Someone recently told me that, as artists, we see ourselves synonymously with our art.That means, if a part of us feel shy or wants to hide, our giving (of art) hides along with this self. If a part of us is critical or doubtful, our giving (of art) remains in the space of uncertainty.But we can give and share in a different way to what nourishes us without losing a sense of nourishment. What nourishes us can still be present but we can allow it to have a bit of a breathing space so that this nourishment has the opportunity to meet another- be it an environment or a person.I think that this is very relevant for artists to contemplate on, as I am recently doing so myself. This is deep I know. I am still peeling the layers of this realisation as well.The main thing is the space we can leave when our “being ourselves” meet the external world. For artists, I guess this will be the space we allow to exist so that our artwork is not just a form of our own nourishment but something we practice so that we can give it to someone else, so they can feel the kind of nourishment we feel. But that form of giving can look even so slightly different than what we imagine or think it should be. Because what nourishes all of us will vary.  It can look similar but different- the same sense of nourishment can still be there regardless of the form it takes.In this way, we are accepting ourselves. We are also giving and offering from a space of nourishment from within and with love.This also means that we can use our humanly bodies and minds and work with our souls to create our livelihoods and an exchange of energy. That is important as a human being. We are always finding ways to self-actualise; to exert our energy into what is meaningful for us.So to conclude this rather contemplative and personally insightful topic, I hope, that no matter the faces you meet this week, you find the things that nourish you. I hope you can also reveal this nourished self in a form that truly gives, offers and nourishes another without being dishonest or harsh to the soul inside.Contemplations:What nourishes you?How do you nourish others? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit winphyo.substack.com

Why not dream and dance? Why not walk the paths and tracks unmade? Why not wander in mind in the opposite direction? Why not? Why not choose to express your individuality? Why not be weird and unconforming? Why not create something new? Why not? This world has seen too many copies Our souls have been tightly packed into neat cardboard boxes Of niceties and politeness Long enough We have betrayed ourselves Long enough When our brothers and sisters Who have gone too far To know the whispers of their soul Much like ourselves When they Wrapped in brown tape and sticky labels above their hearts When they Speak in fear and doubt Be the one to rise up Break free of the stickiness that bind you Look into their eyes Bravely, tender, powerfully And ask, “Why not?”The world needs stronger artists. The world needs more of us to act with courage.What happens to us when we see a piece of art?Most of us are sensitive to aesthetically beautiful things. Sometimes, for some of us, a piece of art brings a sense of pure bliss and peace.For some of us, it might bring a strong sense of disgust. And for others? Confusion or blankness, they might say, “What is this about huh?”Nevertheless, there is a reaction. Art evokes a reaction out of us all. This kind of reaction begins with the art interacting with an inner part of us, no matter how bland or strong in emotion, before we, as an audience, even in a split second or sometimes many minutes more, begin to try to articulate it to another of what we are feeling in the presence of this art.Sometimes, that piece of art cannot even be properly described.Art and creativity transcends language. It cuts right to the chase, even when art involves using words.Now, imagine a world without creativity. There would be no new ideas. There would be no innovations. There would be no surprise.Imagine a world without creatives, a world without artists. We would all be asleep. There would be no revolutions. There would be no rebellion. There would be no magic.We live in a world that celebrates and fears uniqueness at the same time. Both within us and within others. When we see someone who dare to walk in a slightly different way than the rest of us- perhaps they are hopping on one foot as they walk, just because- we may either call them a genius or “good for them!” Or point and laugh and say that is the stupidest thing we have ever seen.But that is what artists do.We create. We have no other option but to create.And I'm not talking just about the traditional kind of art and artists. I'm talking about those amongst us who dare to envision something they want to bring to the rest of us, perhaps something that has never been done before - and really really try to see that into fruition.I'm also talking about those amongst us, who perhaps through a series of trials and tribulations or even from a young age, know that they are here to live a life they want to live. And with that in mind, they will go about to see that into fruition.In both circumstances, there are no kind of inhibitions; these artists, these creatives are unapologetically themselves.It takes courage. A whole ton of bravery. This kind of act is a battle against our inner selves, a child within who is prone to easily be wounded, against the big wide world outside.I wrote this poem about a year ago when I found a place within me that was a creator; an artist. Both in the literal sense and in a soulful sense. I found a place within that was more than just Win, who had a body and walked and talked.This part of myself was powerful and unique. And I wanted to be in touch with that part of me forever.Remember earlier, when I was talking about the artists and creators who are unapologetically themselves? The ones who may decide to hop on one foot to walk, just because?Well, in turns out that for the majority of us, that kind of daringly wild expression is a process.There is an ebb and flow to this kind of remembrance and I most find it when I am in the act of creation- when I am painting or writing or developing new ideas.There is a process to this kind of remembrance because first, we find it in ourselves. In the beginning, it's like a little secret that we keep within. A shock to our system. Especially when we have lived a certain way for so long. We dare not to let this self out for the fear of judgement or confused yet- how do we even begin to show and articulate this to the people around us?Our relationship to the artist and creator within is a process indeed, even for the most confident of us.That's why, more and more I am finding the value of the work I put out into the world. Sometimes, just the fact that I am painting means I am shifting the system, both internally within myself and externally in this world.I am shifting the system because in that space of creating a piece of magic I sense from within, and realising that it is magic, I am no longer in a space of fear, doubt or anxiety. I am present. I am using my body. I am creating.I do believe that we all have the capability of using our bodies and minds in many unique ways, that are true for ourselves. But to express that externally and to be seen, to dare to walk the paths unmade and in a direction we see for us, requires total bravery and courage.As artists and creators, we may be courageous to do the work but wild and tender hearts and all, we ought to exercise our hearts as a muscle when we choose to let ourselves be seen and heard. Especially if you are pulling out something vulnerable and intrinsic to you. Let's say if we do decide to hop on one foot suddenly and decide that is the way we will walk, no matter the kind of reception we get, we must keep on walking.What I'm trying to say is that our work is precious. And it is magical. It is worth sharing. It is worth expressing.Who else will know you more than you know yourself?Who else can show up for your work if you don't show up for yourself?Who else will stick up for you, if you don't stick up for yourself and your magical work?Who knows what kind of container such an expression of ours will be held in. The container will ebb and flow as we honour ourselves and our work more.Have I said that it requires total bravery and courage?But we also don't need to be precious with it. Whilst we wait perhaps for a response from a publisher about our book or whilst we wait for people to enrol into our course or whilst we grow our audience, we keep creating. We keep doing the work. We keep sticking up for ourselves.Because our well of creation is not limitless. It is a deep and infinite black hole where all kinds of things are waiting to emerge.We may start with one thing and end up with a completely different thing. Our ideas may look crazy to us in the beginning as well but as we follow the depths of our intuition, it may be what needs to come out at this day and age. Perhaps in a different container to what we thought we needed.Give it all a chance. Give yourself the chance. Give your work a chance.The world needs stronger artists. The world needs more creators.Contemplations:Where in your life are you playing small and safe?How do you want to express your uniqueness?What do you want to say right now to the world? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit winphyo.substack.com

With every step we take We are evolving And unfolding Shedding our old skins No longer akin Leaving what has been With a grin To continually begin Again We are not aspiring About what we will Become Because we come to be At peace With the piece Of ourselves That no longer fit In a box We dance to the beat Of the drums only we can hear Is anyone giving us a cheer? Who knows?! We continue to grow Regardless Of the heartless The hardship The darkness We harness As the fuel For our fire We will not tire Until we meet death And take our final breathRecently I've been contemplating on new beginnings.For some of us, we leave the place or the space we are currently inhabiting out of boredom or a lack of challenge, or simply from the desire to experience something entirely new. It is driven out of every human being's need to grow and to evolve in life. We have been explorers throughout many years and in the years to come, as a human race, we will continue to explore- past the point of our comfort zones and for the anticipation of receiving a sense of instant gratification and a continual sense of renewal.But what if our current situation was completely fine? What if both on the outside and the inside, we lived a picture perfect life; a life parallel to the greatest dream we have ever had?I watched a video today of Thomas from Yes Theory, a group who in the world of Youtube, taught me to seek discomfort in all areas of my life. He spoke on the camera about being in such a dream and how, after living, travelling and telling stories for the past seven years with his best friends and building a global community, he felt lost in life. How, suddenly, he hit a phase of depression and “slowly living as a shadow” of himself.Now this isn't a story about depression or feeling lost but I think at some point in our lives, we have all felt something similar. At least, at some point in our lives, we have felt the groundless surface beneath us with no glaringly obvious directions intuited from the part of us that have always seemed so sure of what we wanted in life and the path we were heading towards.Thomas's story have taught me that no matter where we are in life, no matter how old and how far along you are in your personal journey; no matter how it all looks from the external world of how we have it all together, there is no telling when this sense of groundlessness will come.And the point that we all eventually want to know is also that there is no telling when this form of a new beginning will take shape. But before a form even begins to take shape, I think that in the moments between new beginnings, we are internally resting and wrestling with our desire to stay or to go. To stay in our present space and place or to go.I think this kind of space in between is worth noting, worth observing and worth honouring. I think these decisions are never easy. Our decisions are layered with inner and outer expectations that come from ourselves, the people around us and our wider community and perhaps even the whole society at large. They are layered with our fears and doubt; hope and faith, and everything in between.Rest assured, however, that we do not need to move so quickly. In this space, we can take our time.Something that I continue to learn about resting in the in between moments of new beginnings is to first of all be kind. Be kind to the part of us that wants to go. Be kind to the part of us that is intuiting something that we may not see in full light and clarity at the present moment.If this part of us feel irrational to our rational minds that we are leaving something good behind, we can take the time in between new beginnings to mourn in advance for the places, the spaces and the people that we may be leaving behind. To tell you the truth, the people in our lives may be living their own dreams or their own ideas of a life well-lived. That doesn't mean that we shouldn't follow our own path and live out our own expression.As we honour the choices that are taking root, we can both celebrate and mourn for a time passing. I think such in between moments of new beginnings are so precious. It teaches us of how fleeting life is. Especially if we, as an astrologer once said to me, decide to “choose our own adventure novel.” Especially if we, as he also said, “live out many lives in one.”Above all, I think we are not alone. We all go through many thresholds of new beginnings throughout our lifetimes. Some more obvious as rites of passages than others.Whether you are about to take a leap of faith in a new beginning or in between the space you are inhabiting now and the new one that is appearing in front of your eyes, I hope you can be brave. I hope that you can walk with faith in what is to be revealed in time. I hope that you can trust your heart to even the most irrational decisions. I hope that you know you will make it, in whatever way you choose to define “making it.”Contemplations:Are you in between new beginnings?Or are you intuiting a new beginning for yourself?What are you resting and wrestling with internally for journeying towards a new path? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit winphyo.substack.com

Let's expand our sense of time so we don't think in seconds but in hours not in hours but in days not in days but in months not in months but in a decade not in a decade but a lifetime not in a lifetime but in infinity Anything of quality takes more time to build than the sudden flash of the ignited dreams and passionsThere is a theme that has been cropping up lately. Whether it be to do with my own life or that of those around me, I am seeing the patterns very clearly of how we as human beings do fall down the route of instant gratification, aka in the simplest of terms, our need to get a quick fix.The stars must have aligned, alongside the planets, in some way shape or form. I have felt both the pressure and the solutions that come from the limitations in life that perhaps happen for the good.Whether we are facing a physical or mental pain, or a huge longing in our lives, sometimes life answers back to us in indirect and roundabout ways. With certain pains and longings, there is an intensity that makes us want to both jump into the experience wholeheartedly and to be able to withstand it long enough to conquer it, or we simply wish to get our things and pack up our bags in the direction we came from. Perhaps to how it once was. Perhaps to a time when it was good and we had it all figured out.But things in life are never that straight forward. Standing in front of this metaphorical mountain we must climb, sometimes we do not have a choice. A situation presents itself where the only direction to go is forward and make that climb. Sometimes, the lack of choice such cases is not because we cannot go back in the direction we came from. Sometimes, we know that our growth will come from experiencing the journey of a forward momentum- where what lies ahead is an unknown mystery but we feel we have to go on. We feel that we have to come out of our protective shell or passivity and meet another part of ourself that we long to see.For that, as with many of the greatest challenges in our lives, the journey upwards is long and the path will test and surprise us multiple times. We are forced to think long term and to play the long game.So, just like the newsletter “To Rest,” where I explored what it meant to really rest in our modern day society, I am exploring below what it means to play the long game.So what does it mean to play the long game?* To play the long game is not to focus on instant gratification that may come with quick results. Meanwhile, we can still allow ourselves to celebrate the small wins along the way.* To play the long game is to recognise that the small wins are the large wins, because it is the accumulation of the small efforts and outcomes that actually make up what seems like one large accomplishment.* To play the long game is to develop our resilience. This is our ability to weather through the challenges that we may meet along the way.* To play the long game is to develop a sense of curiosity for the unknown and to not give into any fearful or nervous tensions that we feel when facing the unknown.* To play the long game is to embrace the possibilities, in ourselves and about our outer circumstances.* To play the long game is to cultivate a multitude of patience and acceptance within ourselves and for the people journeying with us. Should this fail, to re-gather and meet with patience and acceptance, again and again and again.* To play the long game is to think long term.* To play the long game is not to judge ourselves by the day, nor by our current inability to yet meet the vision we hold.* To play the long game is to infuse all that we do with energy and intention.* To play the long game is to be decisive in our actions, recognising that life is a game of choices.* To play the long game is to save and invest on what matters.* To play the long game is to recognise that little things do add up.* To play the long game is to believe in ourselves, our capabilities, our way of living and being in the world, our gifts and our offerings and our capacity to love again and again and again.Contemplations:What are some of the long games that you are playing in your life?Which area of your life is testing you to think long term?What do you think it means to play the long game? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit winphyo.substack.com

We should tend to the things close to our heart Animals, plants People Dreams Our well-being Even if it all disappears one day It isn't for nothing Our caring and cultivation has made us and overtime have shaped us into the People we have become This is what we will keep for eternity Not the forms that have taken shape As a result of our care But the very generosity Radiated from the heart I think for most of us, there is an internal bias between spontaneity and self discipline. I don't know about you but I have been playing around with my own schedule in life of finding the sweet spot between not feeling like I am a result of life's circumstances, making unintentional decisions and being the master of my own destiny, my own ship. Both of these are big statements but so far in my own personal life, I had to learn gradually about how to slow down my fast mind and to be in my body so that I can focus on my life unfolding in front of me.Some of us are either going completely in one direction or another. Working in a company to deliver projects on time and in the remainder of my time, creating as a poet and artist has made me recognise the value of both spontaneity and self discipline.Projects get completed when there is a rough finish line to aim towards; it teaches us to get organised and prioritise on what is really important. At the same time, creating and being inspired to create is not and cannot always be a planned thing. Yes, we need the discipline to sit down and show up- whether it is in front of a blank page, a blank canvas or whatever form of medium we create in; to show up on a regular basis so we can grow and develop as artists. Yet, as a creator, we also need to be spontaneous. To be ready to be swept off our feet with inspiration when it hits us. No matter the time nor the day, when the calls arrive from our muse, we need to be ready to go along the ride with her, instead of saying, “No, this isn't the best time.”I want to break down the subject of our anchors here as a basis of living our daily lives. An anchor is an object that stabilises a ship so it does not set off when we wish for it to stop, or help stabilise in rough weather. And a daily practice for us is what an anchor is to a ship. It stabilises us and helps us when uncertainty arrives in our lives or when we need grounding.For example, I learned from an early age to pray everyday and little did I know that praying daily helped ground me and allowed me to manifest the goals I had when I was young. It wasn't that I muttered a special spell. It was that as I said out loud the words of the prayers, I could feel my body reverberating with something bigger than me and experiencing this made feel that what I was facing at that time would be all the more possible to achieve. The prayers were powerful and positive. They were intentional and pure.Over the corona virus lockdown, as with many of us I am sure, I found myself in my own home and spent the past couple of years learning to find my anchor. In the beginning I was lost. But with faith in the practice of showing up, I experimented with many things, such as daily journaling, meditation, shadow work, personal development. For my physical body, I continued my HIIT programs, learned to do pilates, learned Ashtanga yoga and strength training. I went as far as waking up at 5am in the morning, fasting, observing the five precepts of my religion in Buddhism and going on my first ten day vipassana meditation retreat.Looking back, I cannot believe that I had managed to experiment with and really delve into so many practices. Some stuck on longer than others. But the premise was that not a day went by where I didn't do any form of practice to stabilise my mind and gain clarity or move my body to become more grounded and present in myself and the environment around me.It was the first time I learned how to not react to the world happening outside of me. But to really feel my power from within and live from the inside out.Yes, I know…I went intensely over the past two years exploring many different forms of methods, which is why, as the world begins to open up again, I am learning to come to some form of a middle ground. I realise that I cannot stay fixated in that state of self I had developed these two years nor should I completely abandon them. As several options of choices in what I can do with my life appears: places to go and people to meet; where summer is approaching around the corner; I realised in the past month or so that I have become somewhat out of touch with what had kept me anchored.Because what kept me anchored was what kept me growing. Life presents us with a growing number of options and these options are ever expanding by the day in our recent times. So, in order to sail in the direction of our hopes and dreams or face our fears and discomfort, we need to navigate our lives more intentionally to help us gain clarity and grounding.Without treating my mind as a tool, without approaching my life from an observer perspective, without a healthy treatment of my body, I was not even being “my best self.” I didn't feel like my ‘self' at all. I didn't feel human nor did I feel like I could interact with other humans around me. I didn't feel like I could achieve my dreams or to face my fears and discomfort, one step at a time. Everything felt overwhelming.I know there is a growing number of self-love kind of practices around the world these days. As much as I was practising and seeing results, I told myself I was merely experimenting and I was still a skeptic. Now that I have seen my life getting filled with more distractions, I see the power of showing up once again for myself, despite all the circumstances in life, and to prioritise what is an act of caring for oneself.And sometimes that also means letting go of a sense of control. I don't need to wake up at 5am. I don't need to set a certain time of when I eat or sleep. But I can make sure that I take myself to a yoga or gym class and practice with someone who can guide me and who knows what they're doing. I don't need to overwork my brain with many ideas but I can share with someone I trust about my ideas and brainstorm with them together or get their thoughts and expertise on things I don't know about but would like to. I don't need to rely solely on me. We can allow others to be our anchors.An anchor isn't a fixed practice. Just as the anchor comes up above the water sometimes to allow the ship to move once more, our practices can change in frequency and intensity depending on where we are at in our lives. The point isn't to stop. The point is to use them day by day, for our own good.Whether you deem yourself a spontaneous person or one with self-discipline, I am certain that there is something in life that anchors you. And that this anchoring is also what simultaneously gives you the freedom. Something that allows you to stay true to a sense of self and the observer behind your life. Something that makes you feel confident again when you are feeling low. Something that helps you to stay true to your dreams and to face your fears and discomfort so you don't give up. Something that allows you to continually expand.I wrote the poem in the beginning as a reminder to myself- that my anchors are the purest things I will ever do, and that they allow me to have the strength and clarity to continue tending to what is close to my heart.Contemplations:What and who is your anchor?How long has the anchor been with you?How does this anchor need to evolve and change to allow for what may be happening in your life at the moment? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit winphyo.substack.com

What if I told you that there is no destination? Where will you go then to not get the blues? and what is your fascination to that which catches your eye? Before you can fly, let's first grow your wings before you soar into the sky let's first jump on a cloud that brings you on a journey even as a train arrives at its station there is no hurry its voyage continues from the current location for time is an illusion and perfection is a cage only by each moment, we engageContemplations:What ideas are you holding right now?How do you wish to continue with these ideas? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit winphyo.substack.com

Once there was a time I swear there was a time I don't remember it clearly now But there was a time Oh so ordinary Oh so unplanned It was a time I once lived There were the good times There were the bad times There were the times I was bored There were the times when Excitement innocently knocked on our doors We went on adventures in a place far far away Would it be as it has been lately had we stayed There in the heat of the summers Caught in the monsoons Life wasn't so easy We were still making our way Soon to a place far far awayLet me paint you a scene. It's about 9pm in the night. My mum, my sister and I are on the floor crouching and on our knees in an informal queue, one behind another, in front of our bed. It's humid and there is a scent of mosquito coils in the air that one of us had just “blew out.” Besides the spotlight of the torch piercing through the light mesh fabric of the bed netting, it's also slightly dark because we can't turn on the lights. The electricity is out. Again. For the third night in a row.Just a few minutes ago, we had been enjoying watching a comedy movie, when suddenly, the dreaded flicker on the TV soon turned into a blank screen, simultaneously as all the lights in the house went off.Not before long, we are scrambling in the darkness, each of us finding a way literally towards the light. My mum is in charge of lighting the candles. I'm too nervous to use the match, let alone a lighter. Between my sister and I, one of us finds a torch. The torch will be our saviour for the night, taking us through the final preparations of bedtime. From brushing our teeth to using the toilet, it will be our form of safety amongst the unknowns that lurk in the darkness.My mum goes first. She takes a fan by the hand and lightly waves it up and down, left and right by the bed netting- using her instincts, lasting just a minute or two, before finally, braving to lift up the bottom part of the mosquito net. Creating a hole, large enough for her body to slip through as quickly as possible, she leaves the fan for the next person and enters the bed. One by one, my sister and I follow her lead.There is a trick to this. If we don't wave the fan long enough, there will be a mosquito or two that will be lurking. If we create a hole too big to come into the bed, the mosquitoes will come inside the safety of our chamber with us. In this organic process, naturally, and most often, one of us makes a mistake and our sanctuary is compromised with blood thirsty, noisy creatures who can hide and keep us awake the entire night or present a sleepless night of scratching our bodies until we become exhausted.The bed is simple. There are two thick and large woven bamboo matts overlapping beneath us to create a space enough for three people to sleep. There are pillows for each person and long body pillows that guard the two ends of the bed netting. If there is a spare body pillow, one or two of us are likely to use it for extra comfort as we sleep throughout the night. Around the whole perimeter and above us are the mosquito netting, light enough to see through the mesh and flimsy enough to be blown away by a gust of wind, yet, tightly meshed to deter the mosquitoes from entering our safety sanctuary. The net is kept upright by the “hooks” on the four corners. These hooks are simply a loop of fabric which we have re-looped with ropes that are then tied onto any secure and fixed surface, such as a nail on the wall or a post. Some beds come with posts. But if you are sleeping on a self-made floor bed, then the trick is to make sure there is a place on all corners of the bed where the netting can be tied to. Naturally, and most often, one of us makes a mistake and our sanctuary is compromised with a lopsided netting above, either from being too loosely or too tightly fixed, or sometimes from picking a nail or a post that is too near or too far from the positions of the other corners.If we make it into our safety sanctuary, it is not quite over yet. We still have to search for any mosquitoes that may have sneakily came in with us. This is one of the reasons why we often choose to make our beds long before we settle into some entertainment of the evening. That, and also the fact that the government may decide to cut our neighbourhood quarter with no electricity. If we are well prepared, we will thank ourselves for any possible scenarios.The search for mosquitoes inside the netting is not small feat. There is only one primary task here and that is to be as quick as possible in clapping our hands together to squish the mosquitoes, without making much commotion with our bodies. They are small and we are much bigger. Therefore, the smaller our movements are during the search, the more silently and patiently we wait, these little noisy creatures are sure to come out.Soon after all mosquitoes have been detected, we would settle ourselves into our positions. I would kneel down alongside my mother and sister, with my hands clasped together, I would pray. Then I would, happy and exhausted, lay down onto the mat, half covering my body with a blanket. My eyelids would become heavier by the minute, the itchiness of the parts of my bodies where mosquitoes had sucked my blood would seem to get fainter, and I would fall asleep with the sounds of my mother, who seem to whisper prayers long into the night.The above is a memory that I recalled with my sister this past weekend. As we watched a movie on Netflix called The White Tiger, which is about an intelligent yet troubled man in India, who managed to cunningly get out of his circumstances and cycles of poverty to become a personal driver. Flashes of scenes from this movie brought my sister and I back to a time long long time ago, when we too were living in the circumstances of a developing country that was subjected to both uncontrollable forces of the climate and the government.The memory of preparing for our bed time brought back to me a visceral experience that I had longed since forgotten. Far from the country of my birth, far from where I had spent many moments of my younger childhood years, I had stowed these kinds of memories and experiences deep within my brain.I wondered how many sacred, routinely rituals like this that I have forgotten and are waiting, eagerly for me to remember and take me back to a place far far away.“You know, it's hard to tell him about what our country is like. I feel like I don't explain it well enough. It's hard to tell him without actually taking him there!” My sister comments, as she recalls her conversations about Burma with her boyfriend.“I know,” I said, “I think when they meet other people there, when they meet our parents or eat the traditional foods, and when they see the place, it will paint a fuller picture. It's like we are only a small proportion of the whole story.”That is the price of being far far away from your home country. Without regular visits, the memories seem to become far more distant. For better I have changed as a person here in the West. I am also lucky to have a household that continues to speak the language, eat traditional foods and maintain important customs. However, my sister and my story are different from our parents. Whilst they grew up and moved in their later adult years, we grew up spending most of our time here in England. We hold the traditions of our home country, but we also think with an independent mindset, with a luxury of individualism afforded here, like in many countries of the West. We are the products of two halves coming together and we are neither here nor there. Often I feel not Burmese enough, and are sometimes subjected to my parents misunderstanding of my actions. I am also not British enough. We are far far away from being one or the other.I am sure there are many strings of the sweetest of memories that are innocently hiding in the deepest parts of our subconscious. Now, I will always be on the look out for such memories. They make me smile and they bring me a sense of nostalgia with a hint of sadness of times long past. I hope that one memory is tied onto a long string of more memories to come, that take me back to the places I have walked; whose memories I will remember once more and cherish. I may never come back to relive these moments but they are a gift indeed. Because as time continues, these strings of memories will be my gifts of a time I once lived in a different way, at a different place, far far away.Contemplations:Do you remember a distant memory, from your younger years, from a place far away, that brings a smile to your face?What do you recall about this particular experience you had? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit winphyo.substack.com

To Rest Rest is to do things slowly without rushing Rest is to give a gift to your mind and in turn, your body may rest too Rest is to hear the conversations in your mind and to recognise the figments of your own imagination accumulated across all these days Rest is to put things down instead of picking things up Rest is to worry less about moving backwards Rest is to disrupt your plans Rest is to surrender to the calls of that which is bigger than you Rest is to admit that enough is enough Rest is to give in to your heaviness Rest is to meet yourself where you are so that in time you may fully meet the ones you love Rest is to stay faithful that your loved ones will not leave you behind Rest is moments of silence Rest is what you need when you are going faster than your capacity to run besides yourself Rest is what you need to engage Rest is what you need to hear the sounds of your own wisdom that cannot come from thoughts or running around never intending to stop Rest is to rest, is to rest, is to restDo you remember the days when you were a child? I remember mine vaguely. I experienced time differently then. It was slower. Many say that, “Life was uncomplicated then.” In some ways, when I reflect on those times versus where I am now, at the age of 29, I wouldn't say that they were better. I am not sure also that “uncomplicated” is also the right word to use here.I would say that it was a different time in my life. In all of our human lives. When I think back about the paths I walked on over all these years since my childhood, the different journeys I took, the trials and tribulations I had, the times when I worked hard in my endeavours, I am proud. I think that as humans, as we continue to grow physically and get “older,” we are constantly expanding. From studying to finding our vocations to moving away from family to travelling to living with others to living by ourselves to starting a family, to starting a business, the list will continue. As each seemingly challenging next thing comes into our lives, we seem to prove time and time again that we had been ready all along. We had been ready to experience a part of ourselves that we didn't meet in our previous years, let alone last week, but now, despite whatever may have happened in the middle, we did it.We did it. We learn that we are deserving of ourselves for greatness, as told by our eyes and our eyes only. We learn that we can have responsibilities and not do a shabby job at taking care of a household! Above all, we learn that we are human.Reminiscing about our childhoods can be a great nostalgic past time, and for a brief second, dwelling in those memories, we forget where we are. It is a sweet time. But like all times, as my grandmother would say, “Time waits for no one.”Although the rhythm of our lives are now dictated mostly by our purest of intentions, I think it is very easy these days to not only distract ourselves but to do it without any realisation. Our smart phones are a quick and easy fix for masking our discomfort and pain. We can now choose to feel temporary moments of joy and laughter without going into the root cause of our heaviness and pain.Things are moving faster these days because technology is developing quickly. Expectations from our loved ones and ourselves are heightened to send an instant reply and our clients expect completed work to arrive in their inbox faster than you have sufficient hands to perform their task.And if we are still twiddling our thumbs, we think to ourselves that we are not being useful members of society. Everyone is doing something and if we don't start now, we will surely be left behind. So we jump on the most popular self help programs or a shiny new thing that everyone is doing, maybe even fooling ourselves that finally now, we are worthy and are useful, but ultimately, losing faith in ourselves and perhaps the grand intelligence of time and space. We end up rushing into conclusions to not feel the pain or the heaviness we are deep down feeling in the first place.I think you understand what I'm trying to say here- there are many triggers. There are many triggers to stop us from getting a true form of rest, in both body and in mind.If there is something that I would like to take away from my experience during the pandemic- from the last two years, is how I learned to develop the ability to rest fully. I wrote this poem as a reminder to myself, and hopefully for you too, that should we catch a moment where we feel like our mental and physical states are overwhelmed, that we rest. We rest as though nothing else on this Earth mattered. That we feel like we have the permission to take ourselves to a place where nothing else exists but the quiet whispers of our inner wisdom.This wisdom that allows us to have a bigger perspective of our life. This wisdom that functions without time but with endless amounts of patience and faith.Resting is simpler than we think. Most often, it starts with a strong intention, a decisive state of mind, that mostly come from having had enough, and to stop believing in everything our minds are telling us that we should be doing.You see, I've noticed lately this part of my brain that wants to always solve problems by doing things or taking things on. That when I have a particular problem or challenge in my life, that in order to solve it, I should be thinking about it constantly or else nothing will get done, or the problem will get the better of me!But in rest, our problems will seem minuscule and solvable. We will meet ourselves without any other external noise but hear our bodies breathing. Should we meet the many voices that are still circling around in our heads, panicking that we may soon be left behind, we can just notice them and softly leave them be.It is not easy. Given our human nature, we are creatures of habit and creatures that can get addicted to adrenaline. It is not easy, but, especially at this day and age, especially as we are most beautifully and frustratingly human, we must, as one of my favourite poets David Whyte would say:“Go against yourself.”Contemplations:What is your body and your mind telling you right now?Are they different messages or do they align?Where is the place within that you know you should go?How can you go to this place and cultivate some rest? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit winphyo.substack.com

The Traveller She who abandons all she has ever known Half woman Half horse A fool with merely a bundle of a bag on her back Shooting an arrow onto some distant land filled with Different faiths Different doctrines Different beliefs The colours of the Globe fulfils her She is receptive to every gesture of love orchestrated by the Universe not merely limiting herself to her fellow humans and creatures The marriage of spirit and matter are just as if not more alluring In every passage She finds a way to fall in love with different manifestations of Herself A free roamer relying on trust and openness An autonomy based on Her Own Philosophy which she brings to every corner of the earth Her appreciation for all that is Thrills the stars that sing for her The wind that blows charms her way and Above all She receives the love letters the Universe has written Just For Her “That will be 1000 kroners each,” said the man in front of us, holding onto a ticket machine, no uniform or identification on show, “remember for next time that the tickets in Prague have different zones and your ticket is not valid for these areas.”My partner Brett and I looked dumbfounded and lost for words. A second ago, we were like giddy teenagers after spending an evening at what is called “Sapa” aka. Little Hanoi. Just a few minutes ago, we had spent our last evening wandering around a huge expanse of land filled with many make-shift structures, buildings and warehouses filled with sprawls of restaurants, street food, markets and shops. Just a few minutes ago, on a warm spring day, we had entered south-east Asia, in Europe, discovering a hidden gem far from the central area of this historically beautiful, faithfully timeless and touristically packed Prague.We complied. Brett took out his card and paid the fine, “this is a penalty receipt that will last you for one hour,” said the guy with the ticket machine.We had just realised we hopped on a bus going in the opposite direction of our destination when this man approached us. This morning, on our way back from the countryside of the Czech-German border, the coach driver gave us two tickets and had optimistically told us that once we reach Prague, these tickets will be good for our transport around the City. Little did we know that the tickets were zoned. Little did we know that we would also be hopping onto two more wrong buses after this incident, before we reached our intended destination.“Oh well, at least we will have a good story to tell,” Brett remarked, his versatility and openness to the journey's twists and turns, as evident as ever. In fact, throughout this past week, something that spoke loudly to me through his reactions was his ability to bounce back through the various surprises, some good and some not so good, of this trip we were taking together.This simple remark wasn't just his reliance on his mental strength alone, no. I felt that it came from  a space of wholehearted faith and trust in the twists and turns of the journey. No matter the strengths and weaknesses he or I possessed, no matter that there would be pleasure or pain, action or inaction, or all of the above- here, sitting on the bus in front of me, as rooted in his philosophy and of his truth as ever, was a traveller. A traveller open for risking into deep changes of experience and of the mundane aspects of journeying into the unknown- unafraid to stand for misfortunes when his hopes are high or to receive incredible strokes of faith when he least expects them.Throughout the week I observed this partner beside me.Indeed, as the poems suggest, he is a fool, in the greatest meaning of this word. Indeed, his compass isn't set for one particular destination but it is very much set in perspective to be widened by the people he meets and the places he steps foot in. To risk it all when a journey calls for him and to not be limited by his own way of doing and seeing things. He is open for recommendations and advice.That is the thing about being travellers and not tourists. They are hardened by the miles travelled via foot, via planes, via trains and other modes of transport. They do not shy away from the mundane, to tread the paths unknown and sometimes for many many hours nor do they shy away from the initial strangeness of scents and of sounds and sights. In fact, these very things are like a drug for them. The more they see, the more they want to continue to see. The more they put faith in life outside of themselves and their own bubble, the more life offers to them the chances and opportunities the few get to discover. The more they experience, the more they understand.Don't be fooled by these kinds of fools. They are the good kinds of fools. You know, they possess a freedom that cannot be bought by money but only through such experiences of expanding their horizons.When we hit some bumps along the road, most of the time, this man beside me was as much zen-like as any other monks I have met so far. I suspect that throughout his travels, life has given to him both pleasure and abstinence, action and inaction; all of which could never have been a loss for him because, as he learned to be a traveller, he learned that every experience presented to him a gift of some kind that shaped him as a person.As his lover, I am jealous. I am jealous of the paths he has travelled so far, seeing the foreign sights I have yet to see and of the experiences that have shaped him with my absence. And yet, simultaneously, I am in awe. Because I once told myself that I could only dream of being, once upon a time, of being with someone who is both adventurous in spirit and grounded in their values, at the same time. Once upon a time, I had met many travellers. Exciting, alluring and interesting as ever. Yet, I think there is something that separates the good kinds of travellers from the not so good ones.The good ones are the ones who can still shoot their arrow into those distant lands, filled with different faiths, doctrines and beliefs, shooting this arrow with their truth, their philosophy and their values still in tact. The ones who know why they do what they do and why they have traversed in these particular directions. The ones who are open to change but never forget where they came from or what brought them here in the first place. The ones who do not lose themselves to mere attractions but see substance beyond what meets the eyes of many. The ones who do not lose their ground, even as they are flying above in the sky.I suspect that my traveller-self is taking root. I suspect that my partner will be both a reflection and inspiration for what is to come in my own life. I also suspect, that at this day and age, as countries begin to open up in a post pandemic world, travelling, with its mundane and volcanic experiences it presents, will be a mirror for how we can grow and handle the more day-to-day experiences of our lives.Contemplations:What characteristics of the traveller do you possess, and not possess?Who are the travellers in your life?What can you learn from them? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit winphyo.substack.com

The Grandmother Young One You are only twenty one Barely an adult Still shy as a child The world has yet to Shake wildy for you In time Life will tear you apart To bring you back up What is meant to be Is still hidden from you You heart is still tender Your head is still strongly naive About the things that Can bring you down on your knees This life is long and This life is short Remember about the tortoise Who had a steady pace Go slow and you will win the race Have patience and you will Weather the storm Escaping the pain is not What we are made for This mistake is one of many Your strengths and your weaknesses Will be your own belonging I will be planting flowers for you In heaven May you reap every seed you sow May the rain lessen your sorrows I am your grandmother I am your light In the silence of the night I will never leave your side The Mother I Will Miss I watched you that evening Lying alone in the double bed That was made for two Your eye lids heavy From your tired days You will have lived a comfortable life When the time comes You will have lived in a Beautiful cage of Freedom as narrated from Someone else's eyes When the time comes I watched your body and saw Something else that evening It was a gross body Prone to impermanence Prone to decay one day Until there was nothing else left But the imprints of a mother Who once was mine My mother How long will it be until your Body is just a shell and You will finally leave this life in ecstacy Finally going to the places you've always wanted to go Finally facing a true freedom How long will it be until Your lips no longer change shape As stories come out from these lips About the birds or your frustration At how I put up boundaries with you At how angry you are with dad At how you made the right choices In the end How long will it be until you Finally stop blinking and you leave once and for all Like you always said you would? I thought time would last forever Until now I thought this day Was only a distant dream Never to actually be lived out I only lived in hope that one day We would high five each other in heaven But before that There is something inevitable I must face How naive was I to believe solely in my imagination And deny my human heart It is inevitable because I have loved you In this life Heartache will come in the face of loss I finally realised that evening When your time comes I will miss you as you miss her No one will be able to replace your presence As no one else could replace her in your life Your mother I do understand now that one day My heart will also ache with loneliness Without a particular presence This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit winphyo.substack.com

As we were transitioning slowly out of the COVID-19 pandemic last year, I spent a lot of my spare time working on myself. It was my second year in of being in the personal development world. It was my second year of living by myself. It was my second year of getting to know who I really was.If you had met me a couple of years before, you probably would have met someone who was lost. I was repeating the same patterns of behaviour and circulating around me were people who I desperately wanted to help but couldn't, because they did not want to help themselves. The women in my family knew. They were saying that these people were literally “sucking” my soul energy. Someone I know described me as, “the nicest person they've ever met.” It was a great compliment but, at that time, I didn't want to wear this description, this label. Being nice was fitting into the world around me, to the people around me, without respecting my own boundaries. Being nice was always saying yes. Being nice was picking up after people without looking after myself.The totality of who I was at that time, the totality of who I am now, is more than that one word. I think all of us cannot be summed up into one word, nor should we allow ourselves or anyone else to do so. Language is powerful. Stringing words together can be both a melodic and a free-ing exercise for our psyche. I think in some ways, at that time, two years ago, I was already walking into the person I would develop into.You may have heard me mention the poet David Whyte before. He is a writer that have brought a lot of healing into my life these past few months. I often hear him say that when we are presented with a problem, when we are presented with a difficulty, a challenge we cannot solve, when we fail to see a solution, any solutions, right away, to “ask the right questions.”He isn't the only one who says that. Another figure who has made a big impact in my life these recent years has been Reverend Michael Beckwith, who talks about “asking lofty questions.” The questions that allow you to dream, to expand.And the work that I will recite now, is by the poet Rilke, from the book “Letters to a young Poet”. It is one of my favourite lines and it reads like this:“I want to beg you, as much as I can, dear sir, to be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms and like books that are written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.”And so, during the past two years, from meeting the works of Reverend Michael Beckwith and of David Whyte, I was reminded of these lines by Rilke again and that is what I did.The thing about a contemplative tradition or a practice is learning the art of patience. No matter if the problem we face is a personal one or a global one, if a circumstance causes us a lot of pain and confusion or we find ourselves in some kind of a desperate need, we may end up taking the wrong turns. We may end up being unable to think clearly. But eventually, even as our heart continues to ache, our bodies will tire and instead of asking, “why me? Why them? Why us?” We may begin asking a different kind of question.This is the art of patience you see. Even if we had just ran around chasing our invisible tails like an excited dog, the question, a right kind of question that we need to repeat, may not come straight away. We need to be patient. Our antennas have been tuned to different frequencies all along. It is no wonder that this will take time.The amount of times I have pondered over a question by now is numerous. I would still be in the same situation, the outer circumstances haven't changed, but, I stubbornly. tell myself, speaking to myself over and over, “What is the question I should be asking here?” But of course, the lesson of patience is that it doesn't come right away. I ask and I am met with silence on most days. Days where I think what I am doing is simply ridiculous. A self-made, made-up circumstance - possibly worth nothing, useless and not worth my time or energy.And on that brink, as I am about to give up, because it may possibly be worth nothing, that it is just myself entertaining my own curiosity, I continue to ask. It becomes like a game for me. The question may come to me. It may not. I have nothing to lose at this point. And if the right question comes, it would be a great surprise.I am playing a game with my own patience. Even as my heart aches, even with a sense of losing myself, even if I continue to chase my own tail, I continue to try to stay patient simultaneously. Eventually it comes. This has happened to me time and time again. I don't think I am neither special nor possess special powers. It is just that I was patient.Sometimes the wait is a mere few seconds. Our hearts may already know what needed to be asked. But sometimes the wait is months or years.For me, framing my perspective with questions is golden. We meet many people day in and day out. As we get into positions of authority, as we get older, as our life expands to not just our immediate family members but extended families and so forth, we will meet souls with different life experiences and as such, different perspectives. We are also bombarded with many black and white statements and many schools of thoughts.Sticking to a one particular view only makes our lives smaller. This is where division occurs. But that little question mark at the end of a sentence? That is priceless. That little question mark opens up doors to a deeper relationship with our interiority. A place where we discover we are more than a word and where our life circumstances are only a small fraction of millions of possibilities. And from that place of cultivating patience from within, of waiting for the right questions to appear, like Rilke says, we will, “gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.”No Rilke didn't write in this letter about talking about an answer, not thinking about an answer. With a question that rings truthfully for ourselves, our bodies take on a different quality. Once this question is asked, our hands and our feet begin to walk in a subtly different rhythm. We find ourselves in places and spaces we hadn't occupied before. Our sensory windows get attuned to other sounds and sights. It is slow. It is gradual. It is steady.And the only way to realise the answers sometimes is to look back after a certain point, many many many years from now, and realise how you had asked a certain question time and time again, and began to live it at the time of birthing this question, of also meeting this question. And how, in this certain future, you are about to be on your way to asking another question.Contemplations:What questions have you lived?What is the question you should be asking here? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit winphyo.substack.com

When you see the word love, what is the first thing that comes up for you? Romantic relationships? Friendship? Acts of service?We have all been impacted by love at some point in our lives. This is because we all interpret the word in our own ways. Love is both abstract and concrete at the same time. The elusive nature of love has driven many creatives to sing, to write, to speak and to draw about it for many years.My relationship with love lately has been the relationship I am developing with my heart. The heart is a tangible part of all of us. We all have a heart that continues to beat in our bodies. Without a heart, we would not be alive.How often do you notice this part of your body?It communicates with us everyday. When I am starting something new in an uncharted territory, I often feel its motions- the heartbeats getting faster and faster. I have realised over time that this is a signal to move into the discomfort of a new situation and to not run away.When I am sad, the heart aches. The heart is largely made out of muscle after all. This is a signal for me to put myself first to tend to the situation of the pain and to not focus on anyone else's.The brain and the heart connection is like a good relationship.The heart needs a good companion and the best companion for the heart, in my opinion, is the brain.The brain in itself is a huge roadmap to our human behaviour and tendencies. But this isn't a psychology book, nor am I an expert on our brains so I won't go into much detail. What I can do is to share my experience.If we are not aware of our minds, our minds can drive us into many unconscious behaviours. If we think we have the control, we better think again. Vipassana meditation has shown me the this is the nature of our minds. We cannot change it. However, it doesn't have to limit us.In fact, the brain is a very powerful tool to cultivate a very useful mind. One which we can direct in our day to day lives for practical purposes. We just tend to use the brain more often than it is needed.I have a brain that runs faster than I can catch up with in my day to day life. I do marvel at the countless ideas it can create and the meticulous planning it can produce for far down the future. Yet, no matter the ideas and the learning I have done thus far, I have realised that life has its own timing. It doesn't work in a 24 hours a day, 365 days a year type of routine. No.We often confuse our use of time with the evolution of life on earth.Observe the clouds passing for one whole hour and you will be transported into a timeline that is infinite. Because as much as our understanding of time comes from the practicalities of how we operate in society, the biological essence of who we are is not as robotic and linear as our use of time.Therefore, it is good to give the brain a break every once in awhile and let the heart take over.The heart is quite good at communicating to us what excites us and gives us joy. The brain will think about many options to find happiness but the heart will demonstrate to us, in the moment, of what we need.I once read in a book that a good relationship is like a dance. Sometimes you both come together to dance and other times, you have to be apart in between the dances to recharge and rest.The brain and the heart connecting together is similar. The dance between the two means the decisions we make in our lives come from an acknowledgment that we are whole and human.The break between the two means that we do not become exhausted and burnt out in work (from not balancing life with what we do and what makes us happy), nor do we fall under the burden of our emotions (from not having perspective and a clear direction and understanding about our lives).So…May we cultivate a beautiful relationship between our hearts and our brains. Because, indeed, there is a relationship between our hearts and our brains.Contemplations:What do you know about love so far?What are the things that truly, truly, give you joy in life?What is the relationship between your heart and your brain? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit winphyo.substack.com

Excitement is a fool's treasure that perhaps we all fall into all too frequently. I am unsure that excitement alone is an emotion we should chase to sustain our visits again and again with something that is truly worthwhile or something worth playing the long game.In relying on excitement alone, we may not choose to continue when there are challenges or stale moments within the journey, when the task at hand is not giving us the exhilaration we so longed for and when the outer circumstances are not reflecting our inner imagination of validation or result.Sometimes the most obvious flaws of ourselves are kept hidden from our own eyes and it takes someone close by, who knows us well and who will not shy away from honesty, to tell us what we are doing. I didn't realise I was being the blissful fool all too often when it came to chasing my own excitement.It wasn't seen clearly until my mother pointed out in a low moment of mine, as I was deciding on the multiple choices present as a woman in her late twenties, with many curiosities to chase and many projects started that I have never been good at continuing projects. The comment hit home in a way that I knew was true. I am very good at forming many ideas and I am also very good at not seeing the limited amount of time I have been granted in this life.This self of mine is very clever you see. Her timeline is limited to a few months. Let alone a whole year's worth of dedication to a singular project is enough to keep her at bay from sticking through with it and enough to begin a new project to feel that very same emotion all over again: excitement.Yet, internally, the same self has always admired people who have dedicated their life to timeless work. Meaning, they don't apply short bursts of effort but the act of repetition, of landing themselves to a singular task, a singular subject, a singular topic, again and again, seeing it from different angles, weathering the storms of frustration and revelling in the sudden light bulb moments that make it all worthwhile again, that despite no applause or no certainty, they come back to this work, just as natural as they eat and sleep, just as essential as their requirement to breathe.The feeling of starting something new is an exhilaration that I love to feel. But the true sustenance behind anything worthwhile begins with excitement but continues with something else more stable. It is with our ability to simply do what we do because we like to do it and it is with our choice to feel the pain of witnessing our production of a bad piece of work or of a self without admitting ourselves to temptations that make us feel pleasant but distract us from the very thing that we gave our promises to in the beginning.The commitment to that something stable will make us say more no's than yes's. But in that funnelling down of choice and tempting flavours, in feeling the pain of saying no to another exciting possibility, we soon find ourselves in places that make us feel more human. Not searching for the Peter Pan like youthfulness to go against the progression of time and age; not comparing ourselves to perfection that we often see (even if we know that perfection is false but we still fall for it anyway); not wanting to feel disappointment, stuckness and normality of a human being; but into a place where we become who we are meant to be.The paradox of choice is a funny thing. The more choice we have the more confused we become. But it also takes exploring possibilities and curiosities to really know what we want to choose in a longer term. And if we don't know what it could be, perhaps we may be hiding away a part of ourselves that must be more decisive, in order to begin.I don't think that the timeless greats that we know of today chased for excitement alone. Even if they seem like they did, I think they were sustained by other things that included and extended beyond excitement.And the application of ourselves to the task at hand, no matter what we decided it will be, to repeat it day after day, to land ourselves to the same environment and choose to approach it from different angles, to weather the storms of frustration and to be graced by revelations, are perhaps the seemingly elusive thing we were chasing for in the first place.It was in plain sight all along: we do what we do because that is what we do.Contemplations:What part of you feels unsatisfied with the choices you have made so far?Are you faced with a paradox of choice?Where do you long to chase more than excitement? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit winphyo.substack.com

I asked all the invisible forces to show me how to forgive the violent, the selfish, the wrong-doer ssilence assumed for many days and nights I waited I wrote in hopes of a glimmer that did not come until on one full moon night as I kneeled down in prayer a short answer danced around the room leaving as quickly as it came of a reminder I once heard yet forgotten such is the amnesia of being human the whispers carried a long forgotten messagethat we are often hurt and betrayed by the anger and the fear of a person but it is not them who has betrayed us it is the lust, the greed the anger, the fear that has consumed and betrayed them first long before betraying us yet underneath it all there exists a soul an empty vessel as innocent as a newborn child to whom only love is the gift we want to giveUnless you are living as a recluse on the mountains, you will traverse along life dealing with relationships. I don't know about you but in school, no one taught me one of the key fundamental skills of being a human “being”, which I believe is to do with awareness and relating. No one taught me how to meditate or how to communicate with a loved one when I am angry.Part of the excruciating fun of it all is to figure it all out as we go along. However, I must admit, some guidance would have been helpful in the beginning.To forgive means to accept parts of us that we don't see in our own selves. The parts that we have denied in us can be the blindspots. These parts, without awareness and acceptance, can make it very difficult to accept in others.I had always denied anger as an emotion. Once, I witnessed a family member overcome by anger, causing a lot of pain for both myself and someone else in the family. During the event, I remember crying in the shower as anger writhed its way up my body, puzzled with blame on how one human being could treat another human being.A week later, in the midst of an unhealthy state of mind, I was screaming down the phone to the family member, who was in the situation with me the week prior where we were both hurt. I watched myself unfold in this moment. It was a scary thing to witness. Of how I, a human being, could treat another human being.The topic of conversation was different, yet, the way I was reacting, was still the same. Does that make me any different from the other person, the first culprit? In my opinion, no.Sometimes, in our most shameful moments, we learn a lot about ourselves.This is when I empathised with the angry family member. Amongst the chaos of my own emotions, I witnessed in me a state of self that, without patience and awareness, is capable of moving mountains in both positive and negative ways.I muscled up all the humility I could to apologise to the person I hurt. This was also my first step towards forgiving the person who had hurt me.It is really easy to not see someone else's perspective.It is also really easy to see someone else's perspective and not do anything about it. I will never know what it is like to walk in the shoes, to live out the life, of the person who has hurt me. Even with all of the imagination, logic and understanding I can muster, unless we can swap bodies like in the movies, I will never know.So how can I really justify holding the grudge?Why do you want to forgive?We won't go through life unscathed. I am sure that by the end of our lives, all of us will have battle wounds, victory scars and many white flags waved. Mentally and physically.Part of the reason why forgiveness can be difficult is we become too fixated on either the situation, of the betrayal we feel or we have a lack of perspective on what our desired outcome of the situation is, especially with the person who have hurt us.We can justify the first two quite easily. The situation was unfair, illogical, sometimes even pathological. The person has betrayed us and hurt us.But when all is said and done, when you have read the books and watched the videos to understand the meaning of the situation, what do you ultimately want?For me, I wanted to create a strong relationship with the person who hurt me. That was what I wanted. Even though every part of me wanted to run in the opposite direction and move on with my life, I couldn't deny this wanting.I had to want this relationship more strongly than to keep repeating the thoughts in my mind of their wrongdoing and how they made me feel.Forgiveness doesn't mean going back to the way things were.I am not telling you to stay in an abusive relationship or allow someone to keep violating your boundaries.For you, forgiveness might mean having a peace of mind, therefore you forgive the person and continue on with your life.Sometimes you don't need to communicate and say, “I forgive you” to the person. You can forgive within your heart, move on and be at peace.Everyone will deal with forgiveness in their own way. For example, I like to communicate first before moving on, whereas my sister can forgive internally and move on.As my hairdresser would say about managing my short hair, “You will find your own way.”Forgiveness takes time.We don't reach the peak of a mountain without stopping along the way. We need to stop and take some rests, to eat and to sleep. Forgiveness also works on a slow pace because ultimately, even with our forgiveness, the other person may or may not change. We are not in control of them.Therefore, we keep taking rest, we eat, we sleep and we continue to climb the mountain as things continue to unfold in the relationship.Someone once told me, in witnessing the darker parts of humanity, to never lose hope. It is easy to climb the mountain mumbling in bitterness as we rest, eat and sleep. It won't make us reach the peak any quicker nor does make it an enjoyable climb.Let us all climb to the peak of our own personal mountains without making things harder for ourselves.Contemplations:What grudges are you still holding onto? Who do you want to forgive?What comes up for you at the thought of forgiving the person who had wronged or hurt you? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit winphyo.substack.com

My friend sat across the table from me in the cafe. She was telling me about her sudden inability to move her bottom limbs two weeks ago. As she stood in the middle of her kitchen, about to open her cupboard, pain struck her entire body. She had never felt pain like this before. And the pain made her freeze in that moment, unable to come down from her tiptoes or to move her feet. She panicked. She was scared. She cried out to her husband for help.As we continued to speak, she told me about the pain ceasing gradually after taking some pain killers. Being more of a naturalist, she was also finding some herbal alternatives.“I recommend tumeric; it's good for your joints,” I offered.My friend is an artist. A very talented and thorough one at that. She is a multi-dimensional human being who appreciates all the edges that make up her body, mind and soul. She walks between both worlds of the seen and the unseen, which is why, it came as no surprise when we began talking about the dilemma she's been having for a few years now. One of which was beginning to unravel in her recent incident of immobility.My friend is also a multitasker. As she applies for art grants, she works for someone else and develops her own project. Birthed from her love for technology, migration and women's stories- she created an app that has been in the making for many many years. During the few years of our friendship, I have found her to delve deeply into her work and I may not hear from her for a few months. Yet, whenever I reach out, the answer is always a short resounding positive, “Yes!!!”In these recent years, she has confessed feeling a split between herself. Between finding monetary security vs. dedicating full time to develop her project. Between working for someone vs working for herself. Between her scientific nature vs her esoteric side. In between the inner struggle, she works and works and works to support herself and to find value in the world she belongs too. All the while, experiencing how her work meets the world.Last time we met in December, she described her longing to end the mental struggle. To stop finding her own value in others' eyes but her own. To finally open herself enough to share the rights for other women to use her app. To finally feel like she is no longer running but walking, in a steady pace that was rooted in a body that felt whole.The timing couldn't be more perfect. She lost her ability to move for a couple of weeks. Even now, when she was able to walk, it was a gentle observation of her body- a quiet negotiation of, “Can I take a step now? How is it feeling?” Finally, she was no longer able to run. The inability to move at her normal pace, which for some may be at a super speed, made a staggering difference on both her body and mind. Now, every decision was a decision of whether she had enough energy to complete the task at hand, or to simply give it up. She had to now choose one instead of two. Two instead of four. Four instead of eight…Finally, she was grounded. She was narrowing down. She was here. Rooted in her body and clearer in her mind about what was truly important for her. She was present enough to feel the split in her inner self and from that presence, this self could become whole again.Sometimes, our vices are hidden from our own eyes that we cannot see how we are sabotaging ourselves. It is not our fault. How can we fault a blind person if they accidentally bumped into us? How can we know better if we cannot see it in the first place? Because vices come in a disguise.The vice in particular that I recognise in myself is the inability to see my own limitation. No, it is not that I am not talented or good enough; it is not that I am not interested or passionate; it is not that I don't have enough energy. It is simply that all of these things that I am (to which I would argue we all are) are the vices that also split my own psyche. I partly, in many ways, see myself in my friend's dilemma and her recent occurrence.My psyche splits because I have lived in my own imagination for so long that I underestimate the reality of time in the material world. I am already many steps ahead of myself, thinking that it has already been done if I have seen it in my own mind, disregarding the world to which I also belong to, in my body, right now. One with other humans. One that works in a different rhythm. One that has more nuisances to experience than what I see from within.Being off social media for a couple of weeks now, I cannot help but also realise that being exposed to social media platforms also work to the same effect. Instead of experiencing body-based, natural occurrences, I am exposed to others' worlds that are curated. And so, my sense of time and self also distorts. I am more rushed. I am more excited. I am more unnatural.I am made to feel like I should be partaking in everything that brings “true value” in life. Yet, being disconnected and offline made me appreciate my own limitation. That without any such external stimuli, I am left to my own very slow and steady pace, slowing down my already quick mind, where sometimes it feels like wading through the mist, sometimes a slow bright illumination of the sun, sometimes a thunderous jolt of honesty from pure experience. And amongst all of this, I have no one to tell me what will be good or bad, right or wrong. I have to slowly piece these things together before I take the next step. Or simply to walk through the messy pieces. That could be days, weeks, months or years.Doing too much can mean we can do things too soon. At a time when we are constantly feeling responsible to take part in everything, it is ok to have limitations. I heard the author Oliver Burkeman in his audiobook 4000 Weeks, talk about the fact that limiting our choices shouldn't automatically make us feel the fear of missing out. In fact, narrowing down to a limited choice, makes that choice even more valuable.How appropriate for a time like this. How appropriate for me.I am slowly unlearning. Now, I am saying, “One thing at a time. Consistently.” I am repeating my new phrase (more on that later) when my mind goes into a spiral. And believe me, I go into many spirals.We may be living with our vices for many years. Let them reveal themselves in their own time. In all fairness, we are never too late to the party of our own becoming. Like me and my friend, your vices may lead you to repeated circumstances where you finally have to face your own limitations.Or lead you to limited choices, where you face your mortality. Where these limitations bring you more into the reality of the situation rather than your imagination.I have said it before and I will say it again. For us and for my own sanity: it happens when it happens.Contemplations:Have you met your own vices yet?What limitations are slowly revealing to you? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit winphyo.substack.com

I felt a great sense of hope this weekend as the sun arrived and stayed for most of the days- with no indication of the clouds to come in and threaten his glory. I felt a great sense of hope that the darker winter days were over.February and March are always funny months where winter is reluctant to welcome spring. In multiple huffs and puffs, in all of winter's stubbornness, there are storms with 60mph winds and, in the UK, we have been greeted by all four seasons in a day.This weekend, however, spring's patient waiting has begun to pay off. Despite the bitterly cold wind, I could still feel the warmth of the sun on my skin, spreading across my entire body. I could locate myself on the hottest place in the City I know- opening the double doors that led to the patio in my garden. Time felt endless and I felt grounded as I had not been in the past few months.Why did the sun calm me down? I am reminded of my inability to completely hibernate and rest throughout this winter. I battled with myself on staying productive and getting on with my supposed dreams that were ever elusive and had me chasing after them. As though resting for 3 or 4 months of the year would slow down in the progress of my life.It sounds silly in retrospect, I know. But aren't we all chasing something in one way or another? And isn't what we chase seem to bring even more of a distance between us and the objects of our desires?I spent the winter of 2020/2021 doing the Artist Way course by Julia Cameron with some of the women in my neighbourhood. That was what kept me hopeful and at home in all aspects of body, mind and soul. This year, I spent most of it fighting with my own natural instincts to rest and to do meaningless things just for their own sake. Every effort of staying fit over winter was defeated by a series of colds and illnesses that would have me knocked down for as little as a day and up to 2-4 weeks before my body felt strong again.All the while, I spent the time mulling over last year where I had almost optimum progress in all areas of my life. These cycle of thoughts repeated until this weekend when I landed exactly where I was.Before we are able to change anything in our lives, and perhaps that is not even the most crucial point of it all, I think there is a sense of silent power in acknowledging exactly where we are.Are you bored? Are you restless? Are you sad? Are you busy?How can we know what we should do or where we should go, if we don't know how we are or where we are firstly, to begin with?I found myself chasing for the sake of chasing and remaking my reality from last year when in fact everything happens in its own time.As things continue to evolve in my life, I have begun to realise that what is meant to be for us, what we are meant to experience, will never run away from us. There may be twists and turns along the way, there may be periods of stagnation or waiting, there may be planning and plotting but ultimately, in some way shape or form, it will be here; it will happen.But it just might not happen exactly as we thought or envisioned. I think we owe it to ourselves to have a bit of mystery and not to know it all. I am sure that we all have stories of unexpected occurrences that have happened, which ultimately have gifted us with so many great things we did not realise we needed all along. I think we owe it to ourselves to have a few surprises.And in our limited visions, we cannot always see the birds eye view. We may only see point A and point B. We may only see ourselves as the only subjects of our reality.With this realisation, I do not even want to glorify quickening my “progress” if it means I am bargaining with my own sanity for accepting my humanness. It is the very limitations of my humanness that make me who I am.So, in this period, simultaneously as the spring waits patiently for her arrival, I vowed silently to myself this weekend that I too will be patient. As the seasons change, I will change with them, instead of holding onto my past seasons, previously lived. I vowed to flow with the currents and to land exactly where I am, accepting what life is offering me at present, and to not wish it any other way.Contemplations:How was your winter?What does the arrival of Spring signify for you? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit winphyo.substack.com

I once heard David Whyte speak about the journey of a human life, to paraphrase as I understand it, being that we are constantly living on the edge of reaching somewhere. That it is neither in the beginning nor the end but of the striving that we live for.The simplest of examples being the beginning pangs of hunger that motivates us to go to the supermarket, buy ingredients, prepare ingredients, cook and finally to sit down and eat. Should the first few swallows of food give an immense form of pleasure, eventually, this pleasure returns to a satisfactory state, if not a fullness of our stomachs. Looking at this one simple journey, what got our bodies moving and performing basic to magnificent acts was the reaching to fulfil our sensory pleasure.Some of our journeys of reaching somewhere can be as evolutionarily inclined as that, and some, may be prompted by the questions we ask in our lives. I was presented with a question a few weeks ago by my sister:“If you were on your deathbed and you looked back at your life, what would you regret? What would you like to remember?”Naturally being a contemplative, I didn't think twice about reflecting on that question. It was only in retrospect that I realised how powerful this question really was.A few weeks later, I was speaking to a friend of mine, telling him about my experience in answering this question. He shared with me that he had posed a question like this to someone else earlier in life, and that the person did not want to answer it.I understood completely and I also empathised. As the poem suggests, asking a question like this in one's life is like facing a reflection of yourself in the night, where there is both the illumination of a truth you've always known but have never admitted, and the darkness that is obscure enough to hide what that truth really reveals.If we are lucky, questions like these can come at the right moments in our lives or simply take us by surprise. Because you bet, answering this particular question will begin to reveal a few things- things you may have been running away from or have not realised up until now. It will begin to take you on a journey, perhaps on a slightly different trajectory than the one you are on or have begun. The act of answering can also leave you with more questions than answers.When my friend told me that story, I was reminded of my experience in conversing with another friend about veganism. It was shortly after I turned vegan and I was explaining the reasons for the choices I made to change my diet. He said a simple thing that was both honest and accepting of himself,“I know all of this makes sense. But if I begin to look into it now, I will have to start making some changes that I am not ready to face right now.”In this context, my friend was unable to face a particular question about choice, equality and environmentalism and he knew it.If you are doing some sort of therapy or work on yourself, you will know the experience of both peeling away the hidden layers and of opening a can of worms you wish were rather not open. Experience of reflection and contemplation is like that for most of us.Depending on the different stages of our lives, the external life seems too real, too perfectly and eloquently constructed with things to tend to and places to go, that we may feel too occupied. We may not feel ready to look at the honesty we see from the reflections that stare out to us everyday, begging to be witnessed and sometimes, as my friend says, just accepted.I understand that most of us are trying to survive. I do wonder however, at how our lives may have evolved differently, should such a question be asked at our most formative years and as a norm in society.Running away or refusing to see, for me, is also a human thing to do. There are questions better left unasked for the sheer existential states that it can bring and of emotions we don't want to feel.And the contemplatively inclined folks and the curious ones, may just ask the very question for the fun of it all but being somewhat inquisitive and naive at its sheer power.That is the thing about questions- once asked, sometimes, there is no turning back. We begin the journey of reaching somewhere, simultaneously as we finally face something honest and true.Contemplations:Now it is your turn, should you dare…“If you were on your deathbed and you looked back at your life, what would you regret? What would you like to remember?”What reflections do you see? What further questions arise? What honesty must you accept and consequently face? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit winphyo.substack.com

If we spread out our wings wide enough someday and fall into the abyss, where the fog forbids us to see what is beyond, we will find our way. As scary as it may seem, the more we let ourselves fall without grasping so tightly to the home we once knew, the more we become human.In the fall, we simultaneously trust the strength of our wings and that whatever is below will catch us.In the fall, we leave behind what we once knew as a consistent form of safety and nourishment, and discover new sources.Lately I have been realising more and more that to individuate is a very human thing.What is individuation?* It is the point where our old beliefs become no longer fitting for the present moment and for new beliefs become adopted.* It is the point where we decide to do things a little differently than what has been modelled to us by our family and friends or society.* It is the point where we recognise our dreams.* It is the point where we fall in love and realise our vocabulary of home expands beyond our own selves and our family members.Somehow, the cycle of life is such that we all go through some form of individuation at some point in our lives. To resist the current of such a change is to resist growing as a human and to stay stuck in our own ways.The process of individuation can be scary. It feels like we are abandoning all that we once knew to be the one and only truth, for something that, in the beginning, has no return of security nor certainty.The thing is, once the ground beneath us begins to shake and the walls we have built start crumbling down, in the beginning, there is nothing firm grip to hold on to. There are more questions than answers and our minds spiral into fear and doubt.But wait a minute….slow it down here…I had a thought that once came to me: if I believed in one thing so much, then the opposite thing must also be equally true.This then gives the perfect scenario in the beginning stages of going through big changes in our lives where:* For every fearful thought, there is an opportunity for hope and things working out exactly for our own good.* For every old belief, a new one can be inserted in this moment for us to adopt.* For every doubt in ourselves and the situation at hand, we decide to trust in ourselves.* For every blaming behaviours, as we step forward with uncertainty, we choose compassion.As much as it is easy to write this and harder to act, I have realised over the past few years that change is present in the pause, before the action is taken.Pausing to think before we act.Pausing to examine the thought.Pausing to review the beliefs.It is like pressing the rewind button and recording over the old sounds.And overall, in this process of individuation, we will mourn for what and who we are leaving behind; especially for our old selves that have kept us safe and warm for all these years.But ultimately, the growth will replace the mourning and eventually, there will be joy- because despite the pain of loss for what has been and who we have been, our loved ones have always wanted the best for us all along. And, we, ourselves, have always wanted the best for us all along.Contemplations:What new territories are you heading into right now that is leaving you with a sense of groundlessness?What are you leaving behind?What new sounds are you recording over the old tape? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit winphyo.substack.com

“So how has your relationship with your mother changed over these years?” My boyfriend asks me this question - gently leading me into a space where I can begin to talk about it. It was the kind of invitation to talk, that would lead me to a further understanding of myself and my current emotional state, unsure of whether I was grieving for the harmonious past long gone or regrets about my actions and inactions.I would have normally taken up this open ended question. I love deep conversations and hours of introspection. But in that moment, I understood also that the universe is endless- full of many possibilities and my speech in that moment, would only narrow my perception of what was happening between my mother and I, and also of the opportunities that lay ahead. If I speak about it now, it would be like hammering a nail into a wall. A firm indent on the surface that brought more fixed states- immoveable and self affirming- than leaving it as a pristine and smooth surface.“I would rather not share right now. I think I know but I want to hold it inside me,” I replied to him.Telling him something would have been easier. Like a moment of instant gratification for myself, a way to justify my emotions and my actions, that seem unclear and hard to read, and if I had spoken, I would have brought some sense of validation.There are times when we should speak our confusion and emotions out loud. And there are times, even despite the seemingly indescribable confusion, despite the uncertainly, when within us, we feel a sense of ground even if we didn't know why this feeling of groundedness and belief came in parallel with the chaos, then in these times when we  feel that way, we can perhaps not speak out loud so quickly but let it guide us into a more truthful and holistic perspective and begin to move with quiet actions than the beginning statements we started out with.Sometimes saying things out loud tricks the brain into a sense of concreteness. Almost as if what we long to happen has already been done or we have already acted. When in fact, it was only just the beginning.Holding the questions quietly within us is ok. In a way, it means we pay homage to the great mystery that surround us and allow things to come together in their own time. The quiet affirmation that we do not entirely know what is happening can simultaneously affirm our faith in the guardian angels that guide us, the god we pray to or the powerful energies that will eventually take us into the spaces that are good for us.In this situation, to speak out loud of the things I seem to understand yet hugely do not understand, seemed like a good time to not speak out loud and affirm my sense of self but reaffirm my faith.And choosing to do this, I found that I was able to keep moving. Moving with the changing of the tides and the seasons. Moving with a sense of humility and trust that somehow, in my movement, in my holding the questions inside, I will be guided to act as a form of answering the questions inside and that this act itself will be not only something that will bring me a sense of peace but also for the good of my loved ones, for the good of my mother, for the good of my father, for the good of my sister, for the good of my near and far relatives, for the good of my boyfriend, for the good of my friends, for the good of my colleagues, for the good of my neighbours and my community, for the good of the animals, for the good of the planet and for the good of all.These quiet and affirmed actions hold the countless of questions we have within us and they give way for a bigger understanding than the ones we started out with.Contemplations:What emotions and questions are you wrestling with right now?Can you sit with a way of quiet and affirmed actions as a foundation and leading to answering these questions? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit winphyo.substack.com

Even if you thought you were doing your best, you may never satisfy someone. Your ‘enough' and someone else's ‘enough' may also not be the same, it may never be the same.If you disappointed someone with your actions or lack of, there is a double jab to your skin. One for the person who was disappointed and another for the one for yourself.This past week, I was dealing with disappointment and I was the culprit. The experience led me to sit with the disappointment as I worked to remedy the situation. This also led me to think about my experience with disappointment.Even if we did not intend to disappoint someone in our lives, it is inevitable that we may end up doing exactly just that.Whether it is a disappointment in our roles and responsibilities as a colleague or as a family member, whether it is that we made a careless mistake and a hurtful decision that impacted someone, there is something quite defeating and humbling about the experience.It led me back to my human nature.To admit that I am wrong. To admit that I could do better. To also realise that I am  flawed and will never be able to reach anyone else's expectations - and even if I do, it is a game I am sure to lose because we will forever be chasing their version of myself. This realisation is a moment that both takes me out of my own experience and come into someone else's shoes, and to look within.A recourse of action is not often required but it starts with an apologetic understanding. A tender touch. Both to the person we have disappointed and to ourselves for being imperfect as we are.This allowed me to step out of blame, victimisation, deflection and habitual reactions.It wasn't a quick process but gradually I became more at ease when I decided that what is done is done, and to continue on with my days without a devil sitting on my shoulder to tell me how wrong I am, is not feasible.That is a thing about disappointment. It takes time.The full picture of the situation may not reveal itself straight away.There may not be a clean act to remedy and heal the wound or even to put on a band aid. Tell that to our perfectionist selves. I suspect it will not be my last time disappointing someone.What I wish for though is an inkling of memories, that ties me back to similar moments, charging my impulses with a peace of understanding that does not completely rush to a conclusion. To remind me once again that I may be flawed and so are others. And such memories let me know once again that all of that is ok. All of this is ok. All of this is ok. Contemplation:Can you remember a time when you disappointed someone?How about the time when you felt disappointed by someone?How did you come to your own point of understanding? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit winphyo.substack.com

Where do our dreams belong? And to whom does our dreams belong?Day by day, where is the best place to keep our dreams? Is it on a part of our bodies? Is it within invisible spaces or somewhere very obvious?I know what it feels like to be born in this world with a voice always in the back of my mind that tells me of far away lands that include missions and adventures. I'm not talking about the ones that are relaxing and light hearted. I'm talking about the heart wrenching ones that makes my stomach do backflips from fear and excitement. The ones that make my mouth gasp with disbelief about the seemingly wild and distant peak. The ones that make me ask the question time and time again - how do I journey there?You see, this voice never quietens down. It just ebbs and flows into quiet and loud moments. And this voice doesn't always speak. In fact, most of the time, it is a feeling. A strong feeling.I'm not sure if I have inherited this voice from my ancestors. Part of me believes that we do inherit their missions and adventures- especially the ones that these ancestors worked in their lives to fulfil but sadly did not have enough time or resources to begin, continue or finish.And I know I am not the only one.I have met many people who have voices too that have followed them since birth. They carry a sense of mission in their lives. They devote a big part of their lives seeking to take this seemingly impossible inner voice out to the visible and very possible reality.* A comrade of mine is seeking to transform 1 million lives in Africa.* Another is self-building a family home and grounds that match with his environmental beliefs, all the while looking into space for inspiration and listening to the wildlife around him. Once he sent me a video where I could hear a female tawny Owl calling a ‘Twit'. I learned in that moment that it is only male owls that make the ‘Who' sounds.* And another- well, he is telling his own story of Aikido and soon to be spreading his message to the wider masses.* Ok, one last one - a comrade who has established a movement that is working with Black Asian, Minority Ethnic and Refugee communities so everyone has access to beautiful open green spaces.They are, for me, great examples of humanity and truly efficient in making use of their human life for good.I will let them tell their own unique stories but mine is not straight forward and I suspect neither is theirs.Imagine this voice, whispering to you day by day that you cannot help but listen and eventually believe. And finally to ask, “Well then what should I be doing to bring these inner callings into my life?”“What is my purpose?” Was the one thing I asked myself again and again as this voice began to wear me down to build me back up and wear me out again with confusion. The long story short is, as I held these questions in my mind, I have had to let go completely and allow the pieces of the puzzle to build slowly over time. Just like a construction project. Or else I would go crazy.Knowing the full picture would be cheating the system. And the pictures that these comrades have built is one of continual work through patience and persistence. It also means following the voice with enthusiasm, curiosity and concentration of the unfolding moments.It is complete passion.Because missions and adventures cannot be a fixed state. They need the space and room to always keep growing, building, changing and developing as necessary. To follow the clues of the voice is to have the ability to absorb ourselves into this process, or else we will become mad with obsession and lose sight of the precious things in life like spending time with the people we love and having simple pleasures.So where do our dreams belong then?Let me tell you two things.* The definition of ethereal is something “delicate and light in a way that seems not of this world.”  (Oxford languages)* The definition of ether is: “the 5th element - a substance said to fill all the space and make up all the bodies.” (vocabulary.com)I believe this is where it belongs- within the ethereal ether.Not within our tight fists.Out in space where there is room to breathe, we have the ability to forget the mission, at the same time, as we walk along it, faithfully and courageously.Mixed with our passion, fear and the eternal ache, perhaps we too are paving the way with new dreams for the next generation.Contemplation:Where do you keep your dreams? Do they belong to anyone else but yourself?What is your relationship to the voice that whispers to you of the missions and adventures you must make?How have you learned to be at peace with this voice? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit winphyo.substack.com

I don't know about you but I have a habit of holding onto many things. This includes matching the year, places and people, yet to unfold, with presumptions or with a view of how it should be.Lately I have been unliking the words ‘goals,' ‘productivity,' and ‘ambitions,' because I feel that they do not fully represent the experience in entirety, when really, our lives come down to living day by day and moment by moment.To presume that my year will unfold without any hiccups or incidents, or that this is the year where I finally get to a seemingly anticipated goal, comes from both hope and fear. With hope that in my humanly body, combined with courage, I will be using my precious life for all the things that serve both myself and others. With fear that if I don't grasp onto the precious life with full productivity, of reaching an ambition, I will be wasting it, or worse yet, the grand schemer themselves will be taking it away from me and handing it over to someone else who is truly worthy.Both hope and fear then becomes one thing - the inability to ease into the state of impermanence of the things to unfold.  Recently, I heard a Buddhist nun describe impermanence with the word ‘groundlessness'…to have no ground beneath us or to have the ground shifting in position like the earth's tectonic plates. In this way, we are standing on a ground that is literally shifting!Whilst the Earth's movements seem minuscule enough everyday to even notice, the unfolding of our lives may have a different rhythm and tone each year. Some of the shifts in our lives that lead us to experience the groundlessness may begin and end with a bang. Some shifts start off as a quiet, slow hum that eventually gets louder and louder and quickens in pace to a state where we seemingly have no grounding.It is not always easy to let go of our goals, productivity or ambitions. To un-do and untie these knots are harder than making the knots and scheming the plots in the first place. If you don't believe me, try to untangle a flimsy silver necklace chain that has become knotted, due to mis-keeping over several years! Because knots and schemes can be endless but to let go is infinite. And even if we do not make goals, it is in our human nature to live with some sense of anticipation for what is to come between us here and the meeting with our desires and longings.The irony is, if we are ever to self actualise or to find a deeper sense of openness as an experience itself, rather than intellectualising it, we must try to be ok with the ground shifting and changing beneath us. In moments where there is uncertainty for the future, we must try to be ok with having no ground. As well as in moments where we fall into the darkest parts of ourselves, when we are anxious or insecure. In that instability, life hits us with the reality of what truly is unfolding and is present in front of us than the formulas and codes we are deciphering in our minds.In the poem I wrote about my holding on tight to the feelings I've known before but the season is already unfolding. I did hold on to particular successes of last year and to my self development of how far I have come, with my own story of how the following months will unfold as a result of that.But just as the flowers in the poem that obviously tell me so, I experienced over the past couple of weeks, hints of what life is requiring of me in the year to come. It is within the spaces I did not anticipate to occupy or occupy once again and with attention to the people I did not assume to give or give again.Such is the irony. If we hold onto our original intentions, it may show our stubbornness or our integrity, whichever way we choose to look at it. But we, in our daily lives, will begin to suffer with resistance if we cannot accept the changing of our seasons or ignore the hints along the way.If we dare to face what is really in front of us, we will see there are already whispers leading us to the directions we can be walking in now. Not in the years to come, but in this year, on this day. It may show us through the worries expressed by a loved one or a colleague, who needs our help. It may show us by a particular situation we find ourselves in.And if we dare, to stay open enough for that groundlessness, moving deeper into the unexpected territories, without wanting the same learnings or the same challenges, we may realise that the season we find ourselves in is exactly the one which is meant to be for us, and the one to which allows the qualities already innate within us to develop and blossom.So I dare you and I dare myself…To listen to the whispers and the hints, to really see in front of you, the change in the season we find ourselves in.To be ok with the shifting ground of the reality that requires us to lean it.To, as one of my favourite poets David Whyte would say, “go against” ourselves in order to meet the season, with whatever is required of us.Part of the truth is, perhaps, we may learn one thing throughout the whole seasons of the year and not several. In our consumerist society, the society that drives us to the ever more and not less, it may seem like that will not be enough. Opening into that one thing, however, may allow us to reach into the depths we wish to experience.Much love,From a person who has a brain like yours that can forever be in a world of ideas for days, but one who is trying to step into experiences that will shock the brain.Contemplation:How are the seasons shifting slightly differently this year to the one before?Who or what in your life is revealing to you what lies in reality in front of you- that requires you to really show up? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit winphyo.substack.com

The “moon girl” inside me, and in the not too distant past, was a frightened soul to whom the external world unfolding before her eyes felt far too hot, too cold, too electric, too shocking to commit to in the long run. Over time I learned to build my own inner strength and right now, I am learning to light the spark of my own creativity.You see, sparking is not the same as inspiration. Sparking is to light the match of my bones and initiate a friction strong enough to ignite what is within my own heart.It requires that I look into the whispers that have been seducing me for years and to say, “Yes, I believe you now.”It requires that I distinguish between the voices that I once held as the one and only truth, and dare enough to look at the opposite: that I may be deserving, enough and worth it purely because I am standing and my body is rooted deeply into the ground of this vast world.Sparking is to meet fear as a passing friend.Our fears are our courage. Our fears are our source of will power. Our fears are our answers to the prayers in those silent moments where, even without a God, we sit down and have conversations with our dreams, our longings and our imagination.When we feel fear inside our hearts or when we hear it talking in our minds incessantly, we can recognise that it is only the first step.That's why I call it the first point of contact before we take off. Because lately, initiating my own spark means I can no longer purely rely on fear to create that friction. Fear is not strong enough to ignite the light - both yours and mine.Why? Because it is simply a point. If I dwell on my fears, it does not allow me to do what must be done.To walk in the direction of learning and growing. To walk in the direction of connecting with others in community.To walk in the direction of a different side of me, waiting to be found and experienced.If I dwell on my fears, I will never finish a poem, nor a whole book, nor a whole painting, nor even begin the act itself of walking in the direction towards my longings and my dreams. We can only entertain our fearful thoughts and reactions for so long until it becomes detrimental to allow us to do what must be done - which is to perhaps begin, perhaps to continue walking.The point of fear and moving past it can feel uncomfortable. In the initial stage, as we do what must be done, we may be shaking, we may be in tears, we may ask, “What have we done!?” We may even surprise ourselves.The path we must choose is to continue walking anyway after the moment comes in recognising the fear, who only wish to meet us as a passing friend. Then the friction comes, from taking the journey, step by step.If we believe such an after-moment is possible, then we will also wish to repeat the walk, rather than the perpetual state - of fear.This is how we will get stronger in igniting our own hearts.Contemplation:What is your relationship with fear over the years? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit winphyo.substack.com