Hope when there was none

What does healing trauma look like?Here are a few things you may experience while going through your healing journey. Have you experienced any of these?Find me here- ⁠https://linktr.ee/melindajkunst⁠Find help and info here-National Domestic Violence Hotline- ⁠https://www.thehotline.org/⁠Safe Horizon- ⁠https://www.safehorizon.org/⁠⁠https://www.domesticshelters.org/⁠⁠https://internationalwomenshouse.org/get-help⁠https://safeandtogetherinstitute.com/international-domestic-violence-resources/⁠https://www.domesticshelters.org/resources/national-global-organizations/international-organizationsSexual Assault Hotline- ⁠https://www.rainn.org/⁠Abused Deaf Women's Advocacy Services (ADWAS) provides advocacy services for Deaf and DeafBlind survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault. ⁠http://www.adwas.org/⁠Suicide prevention- ⁠https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/⁠Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline: 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453National Center on Elder Abuse- ⁠https://ncea.acl.gov/suspectabuse#gsc.tab=0#narcissist #domesticviolenceawareness #toxicrelationships #domesticabuseawareness

I will put on a trigger warning. Not that I was too graphic but just in case. This is a car version podcast and there is no video. I didn't want that distraction while driving. As always, please do something for you on your healing journey today. Whether it is to journal, talk with a friend, watch a funny movie, get out and exercise, create something, or dig out your bible. I share a bit of my recent memories that bubbled up the surface! After listening into today's broadcast, do you recognize any of these in your own life?Find me here- ⁠https://linktr.ee/melindajkunst⁠Find help and info here-National Domestic Violence Hotline- ⁠https://www.thehotline.org/⁠Safe Horizon- ⁠https://www.safehorizon.org/⁠⁠https://www.domesticshelters.org/⁠⁠https://internationalwomenshouse.org/get-help⁠https://safeandtogetherinstitute.com/international-domestic-violence-resources/⁠https://www.domesticshelters.org/resources/national-global-organizations/international-organizationsSexual Assault Hotline- ⁠https://www.rainn.org/⁠Abused Deaf Women's Advocacy Services (ADWAS) provides advocacy services for Deaf and DeafBlind survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault. ⁠http://www.adwas.org/⁠Suicide prevention- ⁠https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/⁠Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline: 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453National Center on Elder Abuse- ⁠https://ncea.acl.gov/suspectabuse#gsc.tab=0#narcissist #domesticviolenceawareness #toxicrelationships #domesticabuseawareness

As a side note, I reference "she" but men can also be survivors in an abusive situation. Apps ideas mentioned here can be found here: https://www.domesticshelters.org/resources/mobile-apps-for-victims-and-survivorsIf you need to talk feel free to message me privately.After listening into today's broadcast, do you recognize any of these in your own life?Find me here- ⁠https://linktr.ee/melindajkunst⁠Find help and info here-National Domestic Violence Hotline- ⁠https://www.thehotline.org/⁠Safe Horizon- ⁠https://www.safehorizon.org/⁠⁠https://www.domesticshelters.org/⁠⁠https://internationalwomenshouse.org/get-help⁠https://safeandtogetherinstitute.com/international-domestic-violence-resources/⁠https://www.domesticshelters.org/resources/national-global-organizations/international-organizationsSexual Assault Hotline- ⁠https://www.rainn.org/⁠Abused Deaf Women's Advocacy Services (ADWAS) provides advocacy services for Deaf and DeafBlind survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault. ⁠http://www.adwas.org/⁠Suicide prevention- ⁠https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/⁠Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline: 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453National Center on Elder Abuse- ⁠https://ncea.acl.gov/suspectabuse#gsc.tab=0#narcissist #domesticviolenceawareness #toxicrelationships #domesticabuseawareness

What is Financial abuse? It's deeper than you think! It can look like: Giving an allowance to your partner with accountability for all of it. Not allowing your partner to have his/her name on any credit cards, banking, or loans. Not sharing decision making with your partner pertaining to financial issues. This and more in today's episode. After listening into today's broadcast, do you recognize any of these in your own life? Find me here- ⁠https://linktr.ee/melindajkunst⁠ Find help and info here- National Domestic Violence Hotline- ⁠https://www.thehotline.org/⁠ Safe Horizon- ⁠https://www.safehorizon.org/⁠ ⁠https://www.domesticshelters.org/⁠ ⁠https://internationalwomenshouse.org/get-help⁠ https://safeandtogetherinstitute.com/international-domestic-violence-resources/ ⁠https://www.domesticshelters.org/resources/national-global-organizations/international-organizations Sexual Assault Hotline- ⁠https://www.rainn.org/⁠ Abused Deaf Women's Advocacy Services (ADWAS) provides advocacy services for Deaf and DeafBlind survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault. ⁠http://www.adwas.org/⁠ Suicide prevention- ⁠https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/⁠ Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline: 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453 National Center on Elder Abuse- ⁠https://ncea.acl.gov/suspectabuse#gsc.tab=0 --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/melinda-j-kunst/support

I'm digging into Emotional abuse on today's episode! Here's what it can look like: Emotional abuse- The abuser's psychological or mental violence can include anything that impacts the mental health and well being of their partner. Examples- name calling, insults, put downs crazy making, blaming the victim for everything jealousy, unfounded accusations of cheating intimidation shaming, humiliation socially isolating the victim from friends and family getting angry if a victim does not immediately return calls needing to know where the victim is at all times following the victim without their knowledge stalking After listening into today's broadcast, do you recognize any of these in your own life? Find me here- ⁠https://linktr.ee/melindajkunst⁠ Find help and info here- National Domestic Violence Hotline- ⁠https://www.thehotline.org/⁠ Safe Horizon- ⁠https://www.safehorizon.org/⁠ ⁠https://www.domesticshelters.org/⁠ ⁠https://internationalwomenshouse.org/get-help⁠ https://safeandtogetherinstitute.com/international-domestic-violence-resources/ ⁠https://www.domesticshelters.org/resources/national-global-organizations/international-organizations Sexual Assault Hotline- ⁠https://www.rainn.org/⁠ Abused Deaf Women's Advocacy Services (ADWAS) provides advocacy services for Deaf and DeafBlind survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault. ⁠http://www.adwas.org/⁠ Suicide prevention- ⁠https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/⁠ --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/melinda-j-kunst/support

Verbal abuse is the first topic of an 8 part series where I dig deep into what abuse is and the different types. You can find more information here- httls://facebook.com/hopewhentherewasnone Have you ever heard the childhood rhyme, "Sticks and stones, may break my bones, but words can never hurt me?" You can actually find many examples of this here- https://literarydevices.net/sticks-and-stones-may-break-my-bones/ Words can make you laugh or hurt you deeply wounding your soul. You can carry those words with you throughout your life. Negative words can intimidate, scare, humiliate, isolate, control, and manipulate someone. It's more than just curse words. Tune in for examples. Someone out there needs to know they are not alone and that they can survive. Perhaps you are a parent or friend of someone trapped in an abusive relationship and need to know how to help. My goal is to share awareness, offer empowerment, and educate others about emotional traumas and domestic abuse. Here I will share my story and also stories of courage and healing from Survivors, Coaches, to Therapists/Counselors. Find me here- https://linktr.ee/melindakunst Find help and info here- https://www.thehotline.org/ https://www.domesticshelters.org/ https://internationalwomenshouse.org/get-help https://www.domesticshelters.org/resources/national-global-organizations Sexual Assault Hotline- https://www.rainn.org/ --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/melinda-j-kunst/support

Leaving someone that is toxic in a relationship is hard! The decision is not made lightly or without much thought. This can be between you and a family member or an intimate partner. I mentioned copying documents and here is the list: If you are concerned your partner will notice these are gone make copies of the original and leave the copies! Marriage/Birth certificates Social Security cards Bills- Student loans, Credit cards, medical Financial records Medical records/shot records Diplomas Passports Pay stubs Income tax records Mortgage/Rent contract Business contacts/info Have an old school paper type of phone book with contacts- Note an emergency contact! Car registration/Insurance Medical insurance cards Investment info/401k Old protective orders- this shows there were past problems Photos Bankruptcy discharges Any other legal info- lawsuits, tickets, summons, immigration paperwork/green cards, custody papers Journals History of the violence- include pictures and note the dates Are you thinking of leaving? What steps are you taking? Also, have you ever said those 3 little words to a partner about them letting you go? --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/melinda-j-kunst/support

Gatekeeping sounds like some sort of gaming thing, but it can be darker than this. It is where someone is controlling opportunities, power, resources, and who get these. You can see this in any type of relationship, and you are also capable of doing this! Anytime you have monitored someone and nitpick or take over the task... Yep, that is gatekeeping! There are questions you can use yourself and tools to help you heal on today's podcast episode. Have you experienced this before? I'd love to know! I'm nosey! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/melinda-j-kunst/support

Abuse can happen between anyone. Whether this is between you and a family member, friend or intimate partner. Answer me this: Do you make excuses for this persons poor behavior? Do you dread seeing them or feel exhausted with them or after seeing them? Is there always the same excuse for why they hurt you? Does this person say that "they" are the victim? If this person makes you cry, intimidates you, or hurts your feeling more than once a month this is a RED flag. More in today's episode. Stay safe and God bless! After listening into today's broadcast, do you recognize any of these in your own life? Find me here- ⁠https://linktr.ee/melindajkunst⁠ Find help and info here- National Domestic Violence Hotline- ⁠https://www.thehotline.org/⁠ Safe Horizon- ⁠https://www.safehorizon.org/⁠ ⁠https://www.domesticshelters.org/⁠ ⁠https://internationalwomenshouse.org/get-help⁠ https://safeandtogetherinstitute.com/international-domestic-violence-resources/ ⁠https://www.domesticshelters.org/resources/national-global-organizations/international-organizations Sexual Assault Hotline- ⁠https://www.rainn.org/⁠ Abused Deaf Women's Advocacy Services (ADWAS) provides advocacy services for Deaf and DeafBlind survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault. ⁠http://www.adwas.org/⁠ Suicide prevention- ⁠https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/⁠ Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline: 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453 National Center on Elder Abuse- ⁠https://ncea.acl.gov/suspectabuse#gsc.tab=0 --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/melinda-j-kunst/support

Abusers don't see the world as we do. They see no fault in their behavior. Abusers will tell others that you were the cause of the demise of the break-up. Question your sanity. You may feel: Scared, depressed, confused, and angry The abuser may: Use the legal system against you. Pressure the kids to tell him things about you. If your kids have a cell phone/computer he may gather information about your social media/friends/location/numbers. Give yourself permission to: Cry, scream, or break things (safely).Remember:How far you have come! Journal your experiences. (Works great as a paper trail too!) Give yourself the gift of grace and be gentle with yourself. More on the Hope when there was none podcast that can be found on your favorite listening platform. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/melinda-j-kunst/support

With any one of these there can use the tactics of - isolating the victim, creating a dependency with the abuser, or may have other mental health issues. Can cause victim to become depressed, have a breakdown, or commit suicide. A proper diagnosis needs to be from a licensed Counselor or Therapist. Find me here- ⁠https://linktr.ee/melindajkunst⁠ Find help and info here- National Domestic Violence Hotline- ⁠https://www.thehotline.org/⁠ Safe Horizon- ⁠https://www.safehorizon.org/⁠ ⁠https://www.domesticshelters.org/⁠ ⁠https://internationalwomenshouse.org/get-help⁠ https://safeandtogetherinstitute.com/international-domestic-violence-resources/ ⁠https://www.domesticshelters.org/resources/national-global-organizations/international-organizations Sexual Assault Hotline- ⁠https://www.rainn.org/⁠ Abused Deaf Women's Advocacy Services (ADWAS) provides advocacy services for Deaf and DeafBlind survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault. ⁠http://www.adwas.org/⁠ Suicide prevention- ⁠https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/⁠ Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline: 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453 National Center on Elder Abuse- ⁠https://ncea.acl.gov/suspectabuse#gsc.tab=0 --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/melinda-j-kunst/support

*Trigger warning!* Sexual abuse can be hard to talk about. Victims can experience a wide range of unwanted assaults. It may become difficult for a victim to develop trust with intimate partners. Here are a few examples of what it can look like. If you relate to any of these please contact a shelter, counselor, or law enforcement. If you need to talk I am happy to hold space for you. After listening into today's broadcast, do you recognize any of these in your own life? Find me here- ⁠https://linktr.ee/melindajkunst⁠ Find help and info here- National Domestic Violence Hotline- ⁠https://www.thehotline.org/⁠ Safe Horizon- ⁠https://www.safehorizon.org/⁠ ⁠https://www.domesticshelters.org/⁠ ⁠https://internationalwomenshouse.org/get-help⁠ https://safeandtogetherinstitute.com/international-domestic-violence-resources/ ⁠https://www.domesticshelters.org/resources/national-global-organizations/international-organizations Sexual Assault Hotline- ⁠https://www.rainn.org/⁠ Abused Deaf Women's Advocacy Services (ADWAS) provides advocacy services for Deaf and DeafBlind survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault. ⁠http://www.adwas.org/⁠ Suicide prevention- ⁠https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/⁠ Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline: 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453 National Center on Elder Abuse- ⁠https://ncea.acl.gov/suspectabuse#gsc.tab=0 --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/melinda-j-kunst/support

*Trigger warning!* This month has been a bit busy and I have not gotten these out as planned. Life happens! On today's unscripted episode I dove into answering a common question that I often hear. How do you start over after a toxic relationship? --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/melinda-j-kunst/support

Words you may come across frequently while dealing with an abuser: Baiting Boundaries Hoovering Love bombing No Contact and more on today's episode. #healingjourney #domesticviolenceawareness #domesticabuseawareness #narcissistsurvivor #toxicrelationship --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/melinda-j-kunst/support

Pet abuse is a difficult topic as well as reason many survivors stay in abusive relationships. An abuser may threaten harm to kill the pet if the survivor wants to leave. Signs to looks out for: - Anxiety- Fear responses- Flinching- Limping and many more Abusers may harm pets by/with: - Physically harming - Torture - Neglect - Sexual abuse... For more information on the Purple Leash Project: https://www.purina.com/purple-leash-project Two other resources are: RedRover- https://redrover.org/ Safe Havens- https://www.safehavensforpets.org/ Domestic Shelters: https://www.domesticshelters.org/ --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/melinda-j-kunst/support

It can be hard to spot an abuser but there are things you can look out for. Is this person: - Controlling - Moody - Complaining all the time - Have strange sexual needs or requests, and they don't respect your boundaries? - Jealous - Cruel/ Sarcastic and find more on today's episode! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/melinda-j-kunst/support

Grooming is the topic for today's episode. We usually picture grooming as something that happens between a child and adult but this can happen between adults as well. This is a gradual process in order to gain the trust of a person in order to have control and take advantage of someone. This can look like: Romantic, sexual, financial, materially and more! The victim can become withdrawn or depressed. They may suddenly be without money. Have new things or clothes. May not want to talk about the new person in their life. There are things you can do to help by reporting it to law enforcement, school, or website. Know you are not alone and it is not your fault. More on today's episode. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/melinda-j-kunst/support

You may find it hard to figure out if the relationship you are in is unhealthy when you are in it. Consider talking with a trusted family member or friend for their opinion of this person. You may feel defensive of their thoughts but remember to try to keep an open mind. Here are a few things you may take notice of: - The relationship is intense FAST! - You catch the person in lies - They are controlling - Isolate you - Jealousy - Criticizes you and more! Can you relate to any of these? --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/melinda-j-kunst/support

It can be hard to understand why someone would stay in a toxic relationship. I have heard people say:

Besides physical abuse there are many more:FinancialEmotional Immigration MentalSpiritual VerbalChildElderAfter listening into today's broadcast, do you recognize any of these in your own life?Find me here- ⁠https://linktr.ee/melindajkunst⁠Find help and info here-National Domestic Violence Hotline- ⁠https://www.thehotline.org/⁠Safe Horizon- ⁠https://www.safehorizon.org/⁠⁠https://www.domesticshelters.org/⁠⁠https://internationalwomenshouse.org/get-help⁠⁠https://www.domesticshelters.org/.../national-global...⁠Sexual Assault Hotline- ⁠https://www.rainn.org/⁠Abused Deaf Women's Advocacy Services (ADWAS) provides advocacy services for Deaf and DeafBlind survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault. ⁠http://www.adwas.org/⁠Suicide prevention- ⁠https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/⁠Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline: 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453National Center on Elder Abuse- https://ncea.acl.gov/suspectabuse#gsc.tab=0 --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/melinda-j-kunst/support

*Trigger warning!* It's Day 1 of the 31 days about Domestic Violence Awareness. I'll be coming on sharing bits of information and parts of my own story. Today, I dove into the origin of DVAM. You can find the podcast on your favorite listening platform. If you or someone you know is in an abusive situation, please know there is help and you are not alone! Feel free to message me privately for resources or support. Stay safe, and God bless! Mel

*Trigger warning* Pregnancy is supposed to be a time of happiness and joy. But, what happens if you're partner is not happy with this bundle of joy? You may experience your partner being: -Jealous at different stages of your pregnancy or after the baby arrives -Abuser denying you food or medical attention -Pressure you into being intimate or not give you a choice -Use the child as a weapon against you to keep you with him -May claim child is not his and accuse you of cheating and more... Let's dive into this tough topic on today's episode. Sorry, I have not figured out how to work with this new platform. There are moments I don't want to be on camera and want to do a spontaneous episode but the learning curve for me has made doing this challenging for me. Thank you for your patience! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/melinda-j-kunst/support

Taking a media break can be helpful to your peace of mind. I hadn't realized how much the news on TV or in the newspaper was adding to my stress. Being mindful of what causes you distress can be so helpful and important! If you are listening to music, or that heart pumping movie/show how is it showing up in your body? Is your, neck/shoulders tense? Do you notice you feel jumpy? Do you feel emotional or triggered by what you are taking in? Are you reading books that make you feel on edge? Taking a break doesn't mean forever but to honor your body by feeding it positive input for a short period of time. For me? I did start watching the news again and reading stuff online but I did have to recently reevaluate what and how it made me feel. I unsubscribed from people I follow and am taking a break from some people on social media (No one needs to know!) Let me know if you try this or have tried this in the past. I'm nosey! PS: You may notice this episode is a bit different. I'm trying out a new platform that Anchor/Spotify is using. I'm still working out the bugs and kinks so thank you for your patience! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/melinda-j-kunst/support

Today I flew by the seat of my pants and went "Live" in my Facebook group, The Survivors Cafe, find this here- https://www.facebook.com/groups/724081331311924 Find healing tips and suggestions on today's episode! I do have a tool you can use to help creatively narrow down on those that are supportive in your life. You'll need paper, pen/crayons/colored pencils/markers for this easy idea! You can also modify it! Let me know if you use this or if anything I mentioned resonated with you. If you are in NW Indiana, our next coffee meet-up will be on July 14th, from 10:00 AM to 12:00 PM at a local coffee shop. Find the details here- https://www.eventbrite.com/e/937996662267?aff=oddtdtcreator --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/melinda-j-kunst/support

I often hear, "Melinda, how do I know if I'm healing?" It can be hard to notice and you may not feel like you are making progress on your healing journey here are some signs to lookout for...

So what is the Grey Rock Method? It was first mentioned by a blogger named Skylar who wrote an article on 180rule.com. In 2009 after leaving a relationship she poured out her story to a stranger. After she shared he told her that he was a malignant narcissist. He then told her what he did to his girlfriend when he experienced something similar. The idea is that your responses are as exciting as a dull rock. This doesn't attract attention and blends in with your surroundings. Listen in for more! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/melinda-j-kunst/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/melinda-j-kunst/support

Though I focus on abuse, trauma can be from another of other circumstances. This could be something that scared you, was stressful, or something beyond your control such as: - A vehicle accident - Surgery gone wrong - Neglect - Domestic Abuse - Bullying - Natural Disaster - War - Sudden loss of a loved one/pet and more! The emotional and mental effects of trauma can remain hidden for days, weeks, years or decades and can show up in adults and children as: - Unliving yourself or thinking about it - Promiscuity - Eating disorders - Misusing drugs and/or alcohol - Nightmare/Night Terrors - Feeling helpless - Self-isolation and more! Tune into today's episode for more details. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/melinda-j-kunst/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/melinda-j-kunst/support

What do you think of when you hear a weapon? To me, a weapon is a firearm or knife but looking back on my past moments when I was in that abusive situation I remembered those moments when my now ex held a hammer to my head as he threatened to harm me. Let's dive into more about what a weapon is on today's episode. If you need help or more information on getting out of an abusive relationship reach out to: https://www.thehotline.org/ https://www.domesticshelters.org/ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/melinda-j-kunst/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/melinda-j-kunst/support

*Trigger warning!* Joining me to day is my good friend and amazing, Charmaine Moore. Today she is sharing her powerful story of overcoming heartache and pain. Charmaine Moore is the founder and owner of Face of Hope and Beauty Self-love Coaching business, a Writer, a Model, and a Inspirational Speaker, with over eight years of experience helping individuals choose to love, live, heal and thrive in life. Moore is also a wife of 23 years of marriage, mother of six, and “glam-ma”. In her life she has a been faced with depression, anxiety, rejection, grief, sexual abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse, and she is a survivor of suicide and advocate for suicide prevention. Charmaine's heart, passion and mission is to celebrate and empower women and teen girls to stand in their peace and power, while loving themselves, accepting themselves and enjoying the life that they live. She does this through hosting her fabulous group coaching workshops, events, and guided meditations. For more information about Charmaine Moore visit her website at: www.faceofhopeandbeauty.com and her Instagram page at: https://www.instagram.com/faceofhopeandbeauty/. If you need someone to talk to contact 988 for suicide awareness. 4th Annual "Letting Go" Women's Retreat tickets here- https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/RPmZINf1WJb --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/melinda-j-kunst/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/melinda-j-kunst/support

In today's episode, I have some tips for leaving your abuser as well as information about this upcoming retreat on June 1st. Here are links to mentioned in today's podcast. Solo date challenge Women's Community- https://www.facebook.com/share/pRGqDGUFjFyPmrjg/?mibextid=A7sQZp Charmaine Moore, Face of Hope and Beauty- https://www.instagram.com/faceofhopeandbeauty?igsh=MTZycjAxZTVpcjFtMg== Snag a ticket here-https://www.eventbrite.com/e/letting-go-tickets-880924347437?utm-campaign=social&utm-content=attendeeshare&utm-medium=discovery&utm-term=listing&utm-source=cp&aff=ebdsshcopyurl --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/melinda-j-kunst/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/melinda-j-kunst/support

I went off on a tangent on this episode of today's what's healing look like? Today's episode was entirely unscripted and I'm going to apologize in advance. It kinda goes all over the place, but I hope you stick with it and me. I'd appreciate it and let me know what you thought about today's episode. Find tickets to this year's retreat here- https://www.eventbrite.com/e/letting-go-tickets-880924347437?utm-campaign=social&utm-content=attendeeshare&utm-medium=discovery&utm-term=listing&utm-source=cp&aff=ebdsshcopyurl --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/melinda-j-kunst/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/melinda-j-kunst/support

17 years ago, I left my abuser for the first time. What happened?! Here's the scoop... --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/melinda-j-kunst/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/melinda-j-kunst/support

This may be a tough one to ask yourself! Sometimes, we know in our hearts and minds that a relationship is not good for us. Or we keep certain people in our life out of obligation because they are family or you've known them for so long. This may mean distancing yourself from your parent(s), sister, brother, and so on. Here's a few more questions to ask yourself: When this person is around, do I feel drained? Do I feel relieved when they leave? Give yourself permission to let go of those who aren't lifting you up. Even if it's just for a season. Have you tried this? How did it go? --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/melinda-j-kunst/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/melinda-j-kunst/support

In part one I talked about what manipulation looks like and what it tools, you can use if you feel that you are being manipulated by someone. In today's episode, I dive into what --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/melinda-j-kunst/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/melinda-j-kunst/support

Do you know what manipulation looks like? Let's dive into this on today's episode. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/melinda-j-kunst/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/melinda-j-kunst/support

What are some signs that you're recovering? You may feel shocked, ask yourself, did this really happen? There might be rage. You may experience depression denial and more on today's episode. Find the link for the 4th Annual Women's Retreat here- https://www.eventbrite.com/e/letting-go-tickets-880924347437?utm-campaign=social&utm-content=attendeeshare&utm-medium=discovery&utm-term=listing&utm-source=cp&aff=ebdsshcopyurl --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/melinda-j-kunst/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/melinda-j-kunst/support

*Sorry for the noise in the background. My youngest decided it was a good time to eat breakfast* What is Emotional Blackmail? This person may threaten to harm you or hurt themselves in order to get what they want or for you to do their bidding. Dr. Susan Forward coined the term emotional blackmail in her 1997 book “Emotional Blackmail: When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation, and Guilt to Manipulate You.” Find this here- https://amzn.to/49mDckT Who does this? Someone that in the past may have experienced: Abandonment Moments they were made to feel unloved. Someone that has a narcissistic behavior Experienced trauma or abuse They have a low self esteem and low self worth Experienced blame or shame as a child They use this as a tool to keep control over someone they love or what they perceive as love. The victim feels guilt, fear or shame which is what the blackmailer wants. In many cases the blackmailer is just bluffing but the victim doesn't know this or if they do they could be just so worn down they comply hesitantly. It looks like: A demand that could be very subtle or literally in your face. You may try to ignore or resist the demand but the blackmailer keeps up the pressure for you to do whatever it is. If that isn't working they will start making threats to harm you, your children, family, furbabies or themselves. You then are so tired of this cycle that may go on and on for hours or days and you give in to their demands. This will play out so many more times in your relationship. “As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.” --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/melinda-j-kunst/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/melinda-j-kunst/support

The holidays can be a wonderful time of togetherness but it can be an uncomfortable time for kids. Here's a few tips. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/melinda-j-kunst/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/melinda-j-kunst/support

And today's episode, we are diving into some tips to help you while you're dealing with heartache! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/melinda-j-kunst/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/melinda-j-kunst/support

How do you know if you are being abused? Here are some tips and suggestions to think about on today's epidsode. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/melinda-j-kunst/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/melinda-j-kunst/support

On today's episode you'll find some tips and suggestions for protective orders. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/melinda-j-kunst/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/melinda-j-kunst/support

What you can expect when leaving your abuser and tips for planning to leave your abuser on today's episode. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/melinda-j-kunst/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/melinda-j-kunst/support

You made it! WOOT! WOOT! It's day 29 and you are done! Let's take today to go back over some self-love things you can do for yourself:

Finding spiritual self-love means that you are bringing in peace or connecting with the divine. This can look like:

Let's talk about adding self-love to your career/ work. This is where you proudly share your achievements or that you enjoy what you do. It can look like: Journaling your goals or accomplishments Recognizing your work mates Taking your breaks Creating Boundaries and more on today's episode. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/melinda-j-kunst/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/melinda-j-kunst/support

Is what is intellectual self-love? It looks like looking after your mindset learning new things and developing a positive personal and professional mindset. What can you do? Read books or listen to podcasts geared to your interests. Open your mind to new ideas and opinions. Play games, use brain teasers, or gaming. This and more on today's episode. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/melinda-j-kunst/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/melinda-j-kunst/support

Today is my 15 year Survivalversary! I'll be sharing my story of healing from over several decades of domestic abuse. I'll dig into: Why did I stay? Were there red flags that I noticed? What would I do different and much more!Catch me "Live" on my FB page- Hope when there was none. A trigger warning in advance. This will be unscripted. If you have questions in advance message me privately. If you know someone that needs to talk or suggestions for resources I am happy to hold space for you! BIG HUGS and God bless!Mel --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/melinda-j-kunst/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/melinda-j-kunst/support

Our senses are so important in helping with releasing stress and raising our energy. Here are some ideas to incorporate your senses: Sight- Find art or create something. Catch the sun rising or setting. Smell- Wear your favorite perfume or cologne. Use essential oils. Touch- Put silk sheets on your bed. Walk barefoot. Hearing- Play soothing music. Have good conversation. Taste- Treat yourself to your favorite take-out. Practice mindful eating. Tune into the Hope when there was none Podcast for more tips and ideas. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/melinda-j-kunst/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/melinda-j-kunst/support

Let's dig into limiting beliefs you may have about yourself. A limiting belief is thoughts or opinions that you have about yourself. Grab some paper and a pen and really think about those negative thoughts you have about yourself. How can you shake these negative or toxic beliefs? Several things can help. Think about who you spend time with. Do they lift you up or do you feel drained after being with them? Do you need to clean-up around your house or get rid of clutter? Negativity thrives in chaos and clutter! Dissect those thoughts you have, where did they come from or who did they come from? Start to incorporate meditation, unplugging from technology, getting into nature, try grounding yourself, journaling, or using positive affirmations. Will these thoughts go away overnight? No, give yourself grace and time to heal. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/melinda-j-kunst/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/melinda-j-kunst/support

It's day 21! We are almost done! This one may be hard. Try to do a digital detox. This can be for 15 minutes or longer. Pretend it's the 80's! I may be dating myself but this was before we had all of these gadgets and gizmos. Take baby steps, set a timer for yourself and go for a walk or journal. Call a friend or read a book. The world will still keep going if you're not online! Trust me! Our brain takes a dopamine hit from being engaged with our devices so to fill that need we are constantly on our electronics. While these have a good purpose and can be handy they can also be stressful as we compare our lives to those seemingly perfect lives of social media. Or we are checking our subscribers, Likes, views, and so on. Step back today or try this on the weekend! Start by: Setting a Digital Wellbeing setting or Do not disturb. Put your devices away for 5 minutes Have a designated place where your phone stays when you walk in the door at the end of the day and don't check it. (We still have a landline so we can get old school calls) Use this time to get outdoors, have conversations with your family or to reconnect with hobbies! Take small steps! Let me know how this goes for you! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/melinda-j-kunst/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/melinda-j-kunst/support

Let's talk Boundaries! Do you have these or know what they are? I never knew: I can tell someone how I felt. I can tell someone what my needs were. I can tell someone when something didn't feel good. In our relationships with others and including ourselves it is important to make sure your voice is heard. Boundaries are your values, core beliefs, and respect. This comes from a place of love for you and those in your circle. We are born into families or get into relationships that have unhealthy patterns. This may not include knowing what boundaries are or what they look like. You may notice someone makes you feel guilty for putting up boundaries. You may feel: • Fear of being rejected • People not liking you when you present your boundaries • Fear of confrontation Setting healthy boundaries looks like: • Asking for help when you need it • Saying “No” without guilt • Being respectful of the boundaries of others even if they conflict with your own More on today's Podcast episode! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/melinda-j-kunst/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/melinda-j-kunst/support