In the Mood for Chaos: A Riverdale Roasting and Recap Podcast

Hello all, we've managed to extract ourselves from the 5-and-a-half feet of snow that dropped on us over the winter, and now that Miranda can open her back door and Evelyn can walk instead of wade through snowdrifts...it's time: At last, the first musical episode of Riverdale is upon us, and the question of the hour is, simply: Why? Why is Carrie a musical at all? Why was Riverdale a musical at all? Why was Carrie: The Musical chosen to be said musical - other than Roberto's weird Stephen King kink (Stephen Kink, if you will)? Why choose it if you don't show the two really important scenes? Why is a student directing the school musical? Why is there a drama department, auditorium, costumes, lights, and sets but no drama teacher? Why is everyone encouraging Jughead to be even more insufferable? Why is Alice in her daughter's school musical? Why is Chuck back? Why is Sheriff Dad wandering around the dressing rooms unattended? Why is Archie such a bonehead? Why is Hal back? Why is Casey Cott (Kevin) not singing when he's the only cast member trained in musical theatre? Why is Cheryl the perfect Carrie? Why does the Black Hood - surprise, he's back - care about ANY of this? And WHY is there a GIANT CHICKEN COSTUME!?!?! We have no answers. Only despair. Thank you, listeners, for your patience, as Evelyn finally gets her wish: She's made Miranda watch her first full episode of Riverdale ***Note: Due to a different recording location and set-up, there are two background noises that we've done our best to minimize, but are present for the first portion of the podcast nonetheless. One is the ambient background menu music, and the other is Evelyn's adorable cat trying to eat dinner. Our apologies.***   Screencaps & other fun stuff can be found on our Twitter: https://twitter.com/moodforchaospod   Content Warnings: Alcoholism (brief mention) Emotional abuse/manipulation Fatphobia Murder Pedophilia (brief mention) Religious trauma Music: 'Imps' by Mark Revell

The Endless Torment of Cheryl Blossom, or as it's more widely known: Riverdale continues to astound our intrepid hosts by finding new avenues of trauma to explore. This week, it's conversion therapy. If that is understandably not something you want to engage with, listener discretion is advised. Expanding on last week's thesis that Nana Rose Cannot And Will Not be stopped; this episode she enacts a geriatric Mission Impossible-esque stunt to help the only 3 people in town who care about her grandaughter rescue said grandaughter.  Meanwhile, in a land of lower stakes, the campaign for student body president is still going on, as well as the parallel campaign for mayorship of the town, and it's difficult to determine which to care about less. At least one involves Fred. Jughead spouts off more insufferable garbage, Betty wants a tattoo, Veronica might be Catwoman, Kevin goes :O, Molly Ringwald continues to rule, and God help us all: Archie has a plan.  According to Evelyn, she is straight-up "here to make your life worse" and later gets in a devastating roast in on Miranda; who, at one point, has to stand up and pace from sheer seething anger, but not before getting briefly possessed by Reggie. Hanging over it all, the looming threat of the first musical episode darkens the horizon, promising that if it's chaos we want, we ain't seen nothin' yet...   Screencaps & other fun stuff can be found on our Twitter: https://twitter.com/moodforchaospod    Content Warnings: Blackmail/extortion Conversion Therapy Emotional abuse/manipulation Gaslighting Homophobia Religious trauma (Catholic) Transphobia Music: 'Imps' by Mark Revell

This week, it's all about elections in Riverdale! Couldn't tell you why, but there sure are at least 2 happening. Rivetting.  Hermione vies for Mayorhood as Veronica acts out by running for student body president - if only to fuel her obsession with smooching, Reggie comes up with an excellent campaign slogan, Hal is NOT the father, Betty gets threatening again, and don't even WORRY about it: We have yet another egregious Glee! comparison. Our two hosts have this and more to contend with as Miranda calculates how long she has to skip town, Evelyn introduces us to the new character who occasionally possesses her body: (The) Duke Scotchtape, and both are ecstatic with a long-overdue reaming out of Archie. Oh, and can anyone tell them who Bravo's Andy Cohen is, or why they should care?   Screencaps & other fun stuff can be found on our Twitter: https://twitter.com/moodforchaospod    Content Warnings: Abortion Conversion Therapy (brief mention) Emotional Abuse/Manipulation Gaslighting Homophobia Sexual Harassment (brief mention) Music: 'Imps' by Mark Revell

Have your hand near the volume controls because there's schlock in this episode that prompts multiple screams of primal rage. This week: Old family drama continues apace over at the Cooper's, new family drama starts at the Blossom's, and general "family" drama unfolds at the Lodge's. Basically, everyone's making plans and all of them are stupid. Betty recruits Kevin with dubious intent (what else), Jughead meets an informant, Chic might have scurvy, Hiram unveils his grand insipid design, and it turns out we haven't seen the last of Clifford...sort of. Evelyn continues to weather both the mounting insanity of Riverdale and the mounting insanity of Miranda with glee, giving valuable insight into the nature of upsetting pop-up ads; Miranda - when not screaming - discusses her tiny racoon hands, and they both learn a little something about gay chat-room slang.  Also, Roberto? We get it, okay? You like Stephen King. We get it. We really get it.    Screencaps & other fun stuff can be found on our Twitter: https://twitter.com/moodforchaospod   Content Warnings: Abortion Drugs/drug usage Classism Emotional abuse/manipulation Homophobia Incest Murder Stigmatism of sex work Suicide (brief mention)   Music: 'Imps' by Mark Revell

It's a weird one, this week. Not crazy. But weird. An important distinction. There are actually some - dare we say - interesting developments. It's just that none of them happen to the main four characters. Honestly, we'll take it.  The gang heads up to Veronica's family lakehouse for a fun little weekend vacation that Is Definitely Not Motivated By Hiram's Ulterior Motives. At All. The vibes switch between the two extremes of profoundly uncomfortable, and agonizingly horny. Archie remains oblivious, Betty packed her wig, Jughead doesn't know how phones work, and (Robo)Veronica wants to kiss everyone. Meanwhile, back in Riverdale: Kevin makes an honest-to-goodness friend!!! With Josie! They both act far more maturely than their respective parents. Cheryl makes a friend too...or maybe...even more than a friend? We hope so. And, Chic eats cereal to assert dominance.  Miranda is left reeling less by plot than by the reveal of Sheriff Dad's first name, Evelyn thought this episode "happened later" assuring everyone there's a moment in it of truly baffling cringe, and both have to contend with the existence of Riverdale Monopoly.    Programming Note: Due to the annual horrendous weather descending upon the city, as well as the upcoming holidays, we'll be releasing an episode every two weeks while we batten down the hatches for winter.   Screencaps & other fun stuff can be found on our Twitter: https://twitter.com/moodforchaospod   Content Warnings: Classism Eating disorder (Anorexia, brief mention) Emotional Abuse/manipulation Gun violence Home Invasion Homophobia Murder PTSD Sexual Assault (brief mention)   Music: 'Imps' by Mark Revell

Well, folks, the Cooper fam is really in it now. You could argue they were before because you're right, they were; but now the stakes are Even Higher with the extemporaneous murder of 'The Shady Guy' who came to see Chic. Betty is, funnily enough, not doing so well with having to dispose of a body and on top of that, has to deal with learning that her dad and Penelope are...in Love?!?!? Ew??? Archie tries to ghost the FBI, Jughead chooses another stupid hill to die on, Veronica seems to think she deserves a Nobel Peace Prize, and Cheryl is up to her old tricks...by which we mean hitherto-unseen tricks of sitting alone in the dark, and archery. In other news: Evelyn really loves carrots and she's going to show you how much. She also shares some of the notes taken by her cat via walking across the keyboard. Miranda, meanwhile, might need to get her eyes checked because it takes approximately 7 years for her to parse a screencap. Does it make sense to YOU? Yell us over on our Twitter:: https://twitter.com/moodforchaospod   Content Warnings: Audible chewing  Drugs/drug usage Emetophobia Emotional abuse/manipulation Incest Gun violence Murder Stigmatization of sex work   Music: 'Imps' by Mark Revell  

Get out your genre-fiction bingo card, and cross another square off your list because this week, Riverdale really starts showing interest in becoming a mobster movie. And, like any good mobster movie (read: Godfather knock-off), everything needs to be injected with a healthy dose of Catholicism. There's even more in-fighting amongst the Serpents, who are now threatened with eviction, and even worse: FP learns his son can, will, and has skinned someone. Archie has trouble remembering dinner orders, Josie might be a robot too, Betty thinks being a camgirl in the same place her nosy mother lives is a good idea, and Jughead goes where he belongs: the garbage dump. Hiram has business associates with bad intentions but fantastic names, and when he's not playing poker with them, the Lodges are preparing for Veronica's Confirmation. Does that usually happen before you're a sophomore? Yes, but you see, they wanted a special Riverdale bishop to do it...so they...had to...wait? Whatever. Miranda's having trouble talking so she invents a tongue twister, and later on wants to make it very clear just how much she loves Simon and Garfunkel. Evelyn gleefully welcomes a character back, and reveals that she was literally accused of being a witch in school. Neither can decide what's more surreal: The show being renewed for a SIXTH SEASON, or Archie actually figuring something out by himself.   Screencaps & other fun stuff can be found on our Twitter: https://twitter.com/moodforchaospod   Content Warnings: Catholicism Emotional abuse/manipulation Flaying Gambling Gun violence Incest Murder Stigmatization of sex work   Music: 'Imps' by Mark Revell

Hello fellow chaos lovers! This is a heads up that this episode contains discussions of Indigenous oppression and genocide. We know with the news of the bodies of thousands of children (with the numbers still growing) uncovered at residential schools in Canada, some people may be particularly sensitive to this topic, so we wanted to let listeners know going in. Otherwise, we hope you enjoy the general buffoonery that is this show! --- Yet another town-wide celebration is being held despite tensions being higher than ever between the North and South sides of "fair Riverdale". This - the writers have decided in their infinite wisdom - is the perfect opportunity to discuss colonialism and the slaughter of Indigenous people. The lack of awareness on just how high above their weight class they're punching continues to astound. Speaking of weight class: Football is OUT, and a new sport is IN because a certain Excellent Crime Boss has wrestlemania. Betty continues to Not Think Things Through, Jughead learns that leveraging someone else's intergenerational trauma for his own means is bad, actually; and we reach a whole new level of homoerotic, psycho-sexual interactions. Miranda goes off on the nature of plot twists, and is woefully ignorant about mid-20th century pornography; Evelyn reveals why Jughead really gets her goat, and admires the art of cuckoldry; and both our hosts just generally try to stop themselves from cringing into another dimension by expanding the Robo-Veronica universe, and maybe - just maybe - uncovering the identity of Jockbud92.    Content Warnings: Colonialism Emotional abuse/Manipulation Discussions of violence against Indigenous people Invasions of privacy Racism Stigmatization of sex work   Music: 'Imps' by Mark Revell

Now that we've "killed" "the Black Hood" - no one's buying it - Riverdale has returned to commenting on how inequality is bad and we, like, really do live in a society. Groundbreaking. Some insults are tossed out that are wild even for this show, we meet a new cast member who is - you guessed it - a dark and edgy shadow of their comic book counterpart, Polly has chosen the dumbest baby names ever, and Penelope finds her calling. Evelyn takes immense pleasure in watching Miranda frantically try to make deductions, and is just delighted with Sweet Pea's change in wardrobe. Miranda goes off on Jughead and his authorial inspiration for the week, and can't escape Evelyn ominously whispering "it begins". On the bright side, they finally remembered to plug their Twitter on air!   Screencaps & other fun stuff can be found on our Twitter: https://twitter.com/moodforchaospod    Content Warnings: Classism Claustrophobia Drowning (brief mention) Drugs/drug usage  Emotional abuse/manipulation Murder Racism Referenced sexual assault Stigmatisation of sex work Xenophobia   Music: 'Imps' by Mark Revell

WE'RE BACK, BAYBEEEEEEEE Not a bonus episode, a true return to form as we examine Riverdale's first *checks notes* Christmas episode...? Okay, sure. Don't worry, they're not toning down any grim content just because the halls are decked; in fact, you could argue this is one of the more gruesome episodes thus far! Incredible! This week, our main four teens struggle with the aftermaths of their respective break-ups and everyone watching struggles to give a damn. But the GOOD news is: Cheryl is in fine fettle, keeping the Christmas spirit alive, and delivering the sickest of burns to her mother - pun not intended. Speaking of burns, turns out not even the torching of Thornhill couldn't kill Nana Rose, who has suddenly returned. Sheriff Dad turns out to be a crack shot, Moose has been released from the purgatory of the hospital, more infuriating off-brand names are invented, and the Andrews family faces their most horrifying ordeal yet: The American Healthcare System (or lack thereof).  Miranda somehow guesses a bonkers plot-point again, Evelyn corrects Jughead on Asimov's laws of robotics, and neither of them can get enough of Reggie's hilarious douchery.   Screencaps & other fun stuff can be found on our Twitter: https://twitter.com/moodforchaospod   Content Warnings: Cannibalism Claustrophobia Corporal punishment  Dementia/Senility Flaying Gun violence Infanticide (brief mention) Medical debt Murder Severed body parts   Music: 'Imps' by Mark Revell

In part 2 of Miranda and Evelyn's examination of Riverdale's aired pilot (2017) vs. an earlier draft of that pilot (2015), considering what might have been gets even more bizarre. (For those of you who want to follow along at home - seriously though, why? - here's a link to the .pdf: http://www.zen134237.zen.co.uk/Riverdale_1x01_-_The_Rivers_Edge.pdf ) How did they think they could get away with inserting such a shameless rip-off of a beloved movie? Why are all the moms on drugs? How is Reggie the best thing about this? What are Smithers and Hermione getting up to in the alley? And hey, Roberto? You have GOT to get over Carrie. Evelyn says one of the most cursed things ever uttered, but balances it out by finding a way to give Kevin some depth; and Miranda is forced to come to terms with the fact that in the 2015 version, Jughead is more tolerable. Actually, she likes 2015 Jughead. What is the world coming to?   Screencaps & other fun stuff can be found on our Twitter: https://twitter.com/moodforchaospod    Content Warnings: Addiction Alcohol Bully Drugs/drug usage Drowning Emotional Abuse/manipulation Fatphobia Graphic description of a corpse  Guns (brief mention) Homophobia Mental illness stigma Pedophilia Unsettling references to genitalia Music: 'Imps' by Mark Revell

Before the latest hiatus, Miranda and Evelyn managed to record a bonus with a bit of a twist - i.e. endure a different kind of torture. Going all the way back to the first episode, they deep dive into the differences between the aired pilot (2017), and an older draft (2015). For those of you who want to follow along at home - why would you though? You doing okay? - here's a link to the .pdf: http://www.zen134237.zen.co.uk/Riverdale_1x01_-_The_Rivers_Edge.pdf  Let's return to a simpler time without black hoods, and motorcycle gangs, or Jingle Jangle. An alternate time where every scene is a bit longer, and everyone's a bit meaner.  Where did Sheriff Dad go? How could the dynamic in the Cooper house get any more strained? That can't possibly be how you use the word "glance". And does Jughead just...live at the Chocklit Shoppe? Meanwhile, Miranda struggles with Roberto's insufferable meta-comments, and Evelyn? Well, she's feeling pretty freakin' epic. If anyone can get them in touch with the elusive jockbud92, do let them know. Screencaps & other fun stuff can be found on our Twitter: https://twitter.com/moodforchaospod   Content Warnings: Addiction Alcohol Bully Drugs/drug usage Drowning Emotional Abuse/manipulation Fatphobia Graphic description of a corpse  Guns (brief mention) Homophobia Mental illness stigma Pedophilia Music: 'Imps' by Mark Revell Sound effects via Fesliyan Studios

In the final riverdiary for this batch, FP weighs in on the madness that has the town in its clutches. Freshly released from his most recent stay behind bars, poor old FP is not exactly coming back to an ideal home life. Not that he was doing that before he got arrested, but things have - in true Riverdale fashion - gotten worse.  Why is he so miffed with his son? How does he feel about Alice's hypocrisy? Would he honestly rather be back in jail? Can't say we'd blame him if he would...   Written and recorded by: Evelyn (Who makes a compelling argument for fictional imprisonment over living in Riverdale)   Content Warnings: Gangs/gang violence Jail/imprisonment Music: 'Imps' by Mark Revell 'Blood Money' by David Fesliyan - via Fesliyan Studios

Football's cancelled, and it's getting dangerous out there for those in the Jingle-Jangle business; what's our poor Reggie to do? Apart from making dick jokes, there doesn't seem to be much...then again, that's about all he was doing before so it's not that bad of a downgrade. What does he think about Weatherbee's football betrayal? Why is he listening to Archie in any way even at all? Has he had a change of heart about nerds? Probably not, but we should check his dairy, just to be sure.    Written and Recorded by: Miranda (Who had a Hell of a time coming up with a football-related innuendo that didn't involve the words "touchdown")   Content Warnings: Guns (brief mention) Narcissism Toxic masculinity (homophobia & misogyny implied therein)   Music: 'Imps' by Mark Revell 'Super Spiffy' by David Fesliyan - via Fesliyan Studios

Wishy-washy Waldo is back, and ready to vent. It's hard being a principal at the best of times...and now is not exactly those times. He's losing teachers and students both at an alarming rate, and even worse: his star football boy is out of commission! Just how low is his patience for Archie? What's he got against Sheriff Dad? And who actually attends school anyway? Good thing he's put his thoughts on paper so we can see.   Written and recorded by: Evelyn (Who has not forgotten about dear FP, don't worry. He'll be #20)   Content Warnings: Gangs (brief mention) Guns/gun violence Murder   Music: 'Imps' by Mark Revell 'Done With Work' by David Renda - via Fesliyan Studios

Cheryl's been suspiciously quiet for the past little while - except when she's exploited by more unnecessary trauma. That doesn't mean she's not listening, though. Far from it. In fact, it's amazing what you overhear when people don't notice you're there... What's her take on the growing townie tensions? Does she have any thoughts on The Sugar Man? And are there any updates on the DILF situation? The writers might be intent on wasting the gift that is Cheryl, but if there's one place she's going to have a starring role, it's her diary.   Written and recorded by: Miranda (Who has been regularly listening to the music for this since she found it because it makes her feel powerful)   Content Warnings: Classism Drugs/drug usage Emotional abuse/manipulation (implied)   Music: 'Imps' by Mark Revell 'Mastermind' by Steve Oxen - via Fesliyan Studios

Happy Father's Day! In celebration (and definitely not a total coincidence) we're hearing from your friendly neighbourhood cuck again - Hal! Polly's slipped away again, Betty's sticking her nose in all sort of places, and it looks like Alice hasn't shed the last of her serpent skin - what's a father to do? How does one manipulate one's way out of such a situation? If anyone can tell us, it's certainly Hal.   Written & Recorded by: Evelyn (Who never misses an opportunity to roast Archie)   Content Warnings: Emotional abuse/manipulation Gang violence   Music: 'Imps' by Mark Revell 'No More Good' by David Fesliyan - via Fesliyan Studios

Tensions are mounting between...well, pretty much everyone and Alice knows exactly who to blame. And she definitely doesn't have any sort of attraction to him whatsoever. No, sir. Not Alice.  How does she feel about the mayor's inaction? What does she think of Jughead's induction into the gang she belonged to once upon a time? Just how far in denial is she about wanting FP to absolutely rail her? Only her diary knows.   Written and recorded by: Miranda (Who straight up had to text her brother to find out if he knew a  "cool/slang term for a motorcycle")   Content Warnings: Alcoholism (brief mention) Drugs/drugs usage (brief mention) Emotional abuse/manipulation Gang violence (brief mention) Invasion of privacy/surveillance   Music: 'Imps' - by Mark Revell 'Scouting Mission' - by David Fesliyan via Fesliyan Studios

How nice of the Best Detective Ever (apparently) to give us more of her insights! She hasn't made a ton of progress but her spirits are okay for the most part so that's something. How does she manage school, journalism, detecting, code-cracking, and deciding what's best for the people around her all at the same time? Sheer will-power? A positive attitude? Or maybe a darker corner of her psyche takes over for a while to give her a break. Written and recorded by: Evelyn (Who is also a big Nancy Drew fan - jury's out on whether or not she can pick locks though. She'll never tell.)   Content Warnings: Blackmail/extortion (implied) Gun violence Murder   Music: 'Imps': By Mark Revell 'Quiet Time': By David Fesliyan - via Fesliyan Studios

Poor Veronica: set upon on all sides by her idiot boyfriend, an inconsistent BFF, a douche from her past; and not one, but two criminal parents. She's treading on dangerous ground but, fortunately, she's adaptable. What The Terminator might even call "a learning computer". How does she feel changed? And what remains the same? What would her meanie friends bak in NY think of her? Why are her fantasies so macabre? Let's have a listen...   Written and recorded by: Miranda (Who regrets the opening line, but not enough to delete it)   Screencaps & other fun stuff can be found on our Twitter: https://twitter.com/moodforchaospod    Content Warnings: Car crash (brief mention) Classism Emotional abuse/manipulation (implied) Murder (brief mention)   Music: 'Imps' by Mark Revell 'Fancy Date' by Steve Oxen via Fesliyan Studios Sounds effects via Fesliyan Studios

"The road to Hell is paved with good intentions"...and no one's laying concrete faster than Archie.  Take another peek into the empty mind of a boy who insists on being more involved than anyone wants. How does he feel about his Dad? Or Jughead and the growing(?) North v. South conflict? What is the history of the English Bulldog?  If you think his summation of things sounds stupid when he just lays everything out in a diary entry...you are correct.   Written and Recorded by: Evelyn (Who bravely shut down most of her brain functions to really get into the proper headspace. That's dedication, folks)   Screencaps & other fun stuff can be found on our Twitter: https://twitter.com/moodforchaospod    Content Warnings: Drugs/drug usage (brief mention) Gang violence Gun violence (brief mention)   Music: "Imps" - by Mark Revell "Smilin' and Vibin'" - by David Renda via Fesliyan Studios  

Uh oh, looks like Jughead has more stunning insights to share with the world and not even a global pandemic will stop him. True, there's a lot going on - one might argue, too much - so he's certainly not short of topics to vent about, but does he have to do it so insufferably? What does he think of his new school? His new friends? His dear old Dad? Why can't he stop cramming philosophic quotes, that are tangentially related at best, into everything he writes? Listen on to find out...   Written and recorded by: Miranda (Who had to work up quite the nerve before donning The Beanie once again)   Screencaps & other fun stuff can be found on our Twitter: https://twitter.com/moodforchaospod    Content Warnings: Alienation Gang violence (implied) Terrorism (brief mention)   Music: 'Imps' by Mark Revell 'Grief and Emptiness' by Steve Oxen - via Fesliyan Studios

We've reached a real turning point here, folks. This episode contains Evelyn's all-time favourite scene in the entire show and she cannot wait to share it. There are some role-reversals between the main 4 intrepid teens as Betty and Jughead inexplicably delegate detective duties to Archie and Veronica. They make some headway, but it's very stupid headway involving a creepy house and janitorial hijinks. Meanwhile, Betty decides she wants to join the Serpents...sort of? Just a little bit. And to do that, she'll need to draw her strength from the wellspring of misogyny, which runs even deeper than we thought. FP is freed - unclear exactly how, Jughead's proving to be a real snake charmer with the amount of influence he's got, and Alice is...really, really horny. Evelyn simply cannot contain her excitement around what she has been ominously calling "The Scene", and lays down the law about besmirching the poetry of Dylan Thomas. And Miranda...well, she comes in nervous, but let's just say there comes a point where you can tell something in her has irrevocably been shattered. Should she become a supervillain, the later parts of this episode could be considered her origin story.   Screencaps & other fun stuff can be found on our Twitter: https://twitter.com/moodforchaospod   Content Warnings: - Alcoholism (brief mention) - Emotional Abuse/manipulation - Coercion - Cults - Murder - Sexism - Sexual Exploitation   Music: 'Imps' by Mark Revell Sound effect via Fesliyan Studios

20 whole epi...chapters. 20 chapters of this godforsaken show. To celebrate, they've decided to completely change the genre on us without any warning and make this episode an anthology. Jughead is called on to deliver "pancake mix" even though according to a few episodes ago the Serpents don't deal in "pancake mix". Along the way, he hitches a ride with a guy who tells us about, wait for it...The Riverdale Reaper. Also Archie's sort of there too and pays for dinner or whatever.  On the plus side, we hear more from Josie, but on the ever-weightier minus side, she's being stalked and manipulated, and also Chuck is back? We get a Cheryl reveal that sends smoke shooting out of Miranda's ears too. Then Betty and Veronica do some snooping - read: seriously overstep boundaries and Sheriff Dad cuts them way too much slack because they're his son's only friends. He also gets off a sick burn on Archie, making him the MVP of this episode. Go, Sheriff Dad! Evelyn has a hot take on why Riverdale exists, and makes an excellent metaphor about a dishcloth. Miranda finds new ways to be angry at Jughead, and tries to transplant Riverdale onto the Pepe Silvia meme. Both exhausted by the style changes, and character inconsistency, Evelyn imparts words of nihilistic wisdom: "We have no arcs in Riverdale. We only have vague fluctuations."   Screencaps & other fun stuff can be found on our Twitter: https://twitter.com/moodforchaospod    Content Warnings: - Animal death (deer, mentions of a pig's heart) - Emotional abuse/manipulation - Drugs/drug usage - Hunting - Murder - Sexual Assault (brief mention) - Stalking   Music: 'Imps' by Mark Revell

You know what this show needed? It wasn't an illegal street race, but they sure added one anyway.  Hey, remember how Clifford the Big Red Dad was King of the Drug Dealers? Well, now there's another one...oh, wait, no, scratch that. By the end of the episode it's all wrapped up. At least he's got a stupid name. Betty is DONE with the Black Hood's games...except when she isn't, Archie has another patented "good" idea, Jughead goes to ask his Dad for advice about keeping the peace, and Veronica indirectly causes a car crash. It's great that Skeet Ulrich is back, but Riverdale seems to be setting up the musical episodes early, by getting in a cheeky reference to Les Miserables via poor FP. We are...less than thrilled.  Miranda shares some cursed lore, and reaches new decibels of rage in a cry so loud it caused problems with the noise equalizer. Evelyn has a theory about the Black Hood's continued incompetence, and conjures a conversation that changes the course of the show forever. Forget Archie and the gang, what matters now is the NEW star of Riverdale: Hildegarde, the tired receptionist.   Screencaps & other fun stuff can be found on our Twitter: https://twitter.com/moodforchaospod    Content Warnings: - Drugs/drug usage (Jingle-jangle) - Emotional abuse/manipulation - Gun violence - Murder - Police Brutality - Suicide (brief mention)   Music: 'Imps' by Mark Revell

This week, Lili Reinhart's going for that Emmy as Betty gets puts through the wringer. Oh, but don't worry, the writers haven't forgotten to make Cheryl's life increasingly miserable too. Jughead decides it's time to follow in his father's motorcycle tracks and fully join the ranks of the Southside Serpents. Kinda thought he'd done that already but whatever. Thus begins his initiation rituals: Think ridiculous, low budget labours of Hercules. He's not the only one embracing his snake-y past, though. Alice is outed as a former Southsider and - like with any good supervillain - it unleashes something terrifying within her, and a hitherto unknown humiliation fetish for Hal.  More characters are introduced because there is no God, we theorize what goes on in Sheriff Dad's head, and will someone PLEASE check on Dilton? Evelyn discusses the complexities of a recent dream where the scale for judging morality was vegetable-based, and flexes her ability to pinpoint Miranda's fears with terrifying accuracy. Miranda unwittingly gets so angry she actually growls (check the Content Warnings), and they both manage to find separate moments to be insufferably condescending.   Screencaps & other fun stuff can be found on our Twitter: https://twitter.com/moodforchaospod   Content Warnings: - Blackmail/extortion - Emotional abuse/manipulation - Drugs/drug usage  - Sexual harassment/coercion - SEXUAL ASSAULT/ATTEMPTED DATE RAPE   Music: 'Imps' by: Mark Revell

As if there wasn't already enough going on, the writers are trying to shove in a conflict between the North, and South Sides of Riverdale. I guess they can check 'class warfare' off of their hot-button-issue BINGO card now. Actual real-life serial killers that caused actual real-life grief, damage, and horror are now being referenced in this televised nightmare where intergenerational blood feuds are just as important as wondering what music to play at the school talent show. It's just as tactful as you would expect. Betty finds out she's got a secret admirer and goes about dealing with it in the Worst Way Possible, Jughead is into true crime (suddenly) which he flaunts as though it's weird and not a hugely popular genre, and while everyone seems to be at odds, at least they can all agree on one thing: Archie's video was unfathomably stupid. Evelyn voices one of her most-hated tropes, and sings us a lovely song about being confused. Miranda makes a weird analogy that has something to do with cacti and Dr. Gregory House, and also talks about - you guessed it - Shakespeare again. In a stunning turn of events, she also manages to finally, FINALLY, impart information upsetting enough that it makes Evelyn scream.   Screencaps & other fun stuff can be found on our Twitter: https://twitter.com/moodforchaospod    Content Warnings: - Animal abuse (brief mention, a dog is in danger but the dog is okay) - Gangs/gang violence - Guns/gun violence - Murder - Serial Killers  - Sexual abuse (brief mention)   Music: 'Imps' by Mark Revell

Oh Good. The beginning of a Kevin character arc. And by 'arc' we mean "plateau". On the bright side, we have a dog in the studio today! And by 'studio' we mean Evelyn's living room. More murder! Or, attempted murder. How is it that only one of the four people this guy has attacked has died, and that was the only instance where he WASN'T using a gun? Frustration mounts amongst the teens as Kevin has decided that now is a good time to be making out with strangers at night in the woods where two of his classmates were shot, and, equally as high-stakes, Veronica reeeeeally wants to get a Bachelorette viewing party together so everyone can meet her scary crime-boss Dad. ANOTHER gang is introduced at Jughead's cartoonishly hostile new school, Reggie STILL won't stop talking about his dick, and Archie has one of The Worst ideas ever. Which is really saying something for this show. Meanwhile, due to dog-antics, Miranda and Evelyn are coming in with some truly chaotic vibes. Miranda is really having trouble with her words, culminating in some sort of aphasia an hour or so in, and Evelyn is positively giddy because the end of this episode has one of her absolute favourite moments in the show. It's...well it's something.    Screencaps & other fun stuff can be found on our Twitter: https://twitter.com/moodforchaospod    Content Warnings: - Alcohol (rum, brief mention) - Cults (brief mention) - Drugs/drug use - Gang violence - Gun violence - Homophobia   Music: 'Imps' by Mark Revell 'Silly Bank Heist' by Steve Oxen - via Fesliyan Studios

Like a dropped storyline that unexpectedly resurfaces at an unforeseen time, we're back! With a real episode again! It's been a hot minute since last we saw...well, anyone outside our respective households, really; but we're still pretty sure that between Veronica's pitiful attempt at using outdated chatspeak in real life, and Betty's outright blackmail, Riverdale is not the pinnacle of human communication. There's so much going on already, now seems like the PERFECT time to bring up MORE CHARACTERS. Welcome, Midge! Hi, Reggie - and his genital obsession! Hi, Melody - In this episode she actually gets lines!  With a killer still very much on the loose, Betty is preoccupied with saving Pop's, Cheryl decides part of the grieving process is watching a snuff film, Jughead gets legal advice from a tattoo parlour, and Archie indulges in some jingle jangle. So with everyone at their best, there's no WAY another murder could happen. Evelyn continues to struggle with recognizing Dad-talk, and is NOT impressed with Cole Sprouse's acting while crying. Miranda holds out useless hope that the title will be relevant to any given episode, and gets mad about the use of Shakespearean references yet again. Also, we might have accidentally rebooted Memento (2000).   Screencaps & other fun stuff can be found on our Twitter: https://twitter.com/moodforchaospod    Content Warnings: - Blackmail/extortion - Biphobia (brief mention) - Domestic abuse - Drugs/drug usage - Emotional abuse/manipulation - Gun violence - homophobia (brief mention) - Memory loss - Mental health stigma (brief mention) - Murder - Pedophilia (brief mention) - PTSD/trauma response   Music: 'Imps' by Mark Revell  

Seeing as the teens are really stirring things up around the school, now seems like a good time to hear from esteemed Principal and Very Responsible Adult: Mr. Weatherbee (Waldo, to his friends). He takes pride in Riverdale High, and the discipline of the students therein. If he just ignores the deplorable behaviour of the football team, the predatory nature of the music teacher, the near-constant violent outbursts, the open discussion of drug deals, the lack of any emotional support or stability for the students, and the fact that he never knew Jughead literally lived in a school supply closet for a while; then there's absolutely nothing wrong at Riverdale High whatsoever. Nope. Nothing at all.    Written and recorded by: Evelyn (Who finally has an in-universe outlet to channel her frustration with the kids on this show)   Content Warnings: - Drugs/drug usage (brief mention) - Murder (brief mention)   Music: 'Imps' by Mark Revell 'Done With Work' by David Renda - via Fesliyan Studios

He was barely around in season one, but Reggie's sure trying to make up for lost time here in season 2. The Jingle-Jangle juggling jock who can NOT stop talking about sex weighs in on the recent and increasingly strange developments in Riverdale. What does he think of Archie's vigilante ideas? How'd he feel about Jason? Why does he make SO many references to his dick? Surely the answers can be found in his diary.   Written and recorded by: Miranda (Who was really pushing the limit on how many sex jokes she could fit in this one...HEYO)   Content Warnings: - Death - Gun violence (brief mention) - Pedophilia (briefly implied) - Toxic masculinity   Music: 'Imps' by Mark Revell 'Super Spiffy' by David Fesliyan - via Fesliyan Studios

Poor FP had a lot more to worry about in season 1 than we thought.  Where's a serpent to purge all these anxieties but the ever-available shoulder to cry on called a diary? He's a tough guy, whose dealt with tough things...but Riverdale has a way of bringing people to new lows and FP is no exception. Even with a whole biker gang on his side, there's only so much he can do when up against the likes of the Blossoms.  He's also got to deal with having Jughead as a kid and that's difficult enough as it is. Written and recorded by: Evelyn (Who manages to neatly sum up a ridiculous plot thread or two IN CHARACTER better than Riverdale does)   Content Warnings: - Alcohol (beer, brief mention) - Blackmail/extortion - Death - Murder   Music: 'Imps' by Mark Revell 'Blood Money' by David Fesliyan - via Fesliyan Studios

At last, we touch on the ancient house of Blossom. No one's had an easy go of it on this show, but Cheryl really seems to consistently be getting the short end of the stick, what with her family either being dead (Jason), hating her (Penelope), or both (Clifford).  Without her twin, her diary is her only confidant now. In some ways, it's not so different: Her brother was just as blank as the pages in a notebook!   Written and Recorded by: Miranda (Who took this as an excuse to apply red lipstick despite not leaving her room, let alone her house.)   Content Warnings: - Arson (brief mention) - Classism - Death threats - Drugging/drug use (brief mention) - Grief - Gun violence (brief mention) - Incest (brief mention) - Parental abuse/neglect (implied)    Music: 'Imps' by Mark Revell 'Mastermind' by Steve Oxen - via Fesliyan Studios  

Rounding off the Cooper household's POV, we have The Cuck himself here to vent about the state of things. Try as he might to stay on top of all the new and increasingly wild developments, there's only so much one can do when one lives in a town like Riverdale.  (This one's a bit darker than the previous entries, as a heads up)    Written and recorded by: Evelyn (Who should be commended for voicing a Dad as well as she has despite her inexperience with them)   Content Warnings: - Abortion (Implied, brief mention) - Death - Emotional abuse/manipulation - Gaslighting   Music: "Imps" by Mark Revell "No More Good" by David Fesliyan via Fesliyan Studios

You know the Queen Snoop of Riverdale has plenty of thoughts on the townsfolk and those thoughts have to go somewhere. A journalist by nature, she is more than happy to air her many grievances by putting pen to paper. That is, when she's not too busy ignoring everyone's boundaries, or daydreaming about a hunky, devil-may-care Southsider.   Written and recorded by: Miranda (Which was a real test of her breath control)   Content Warnings: - Death - Emotional abuse/manipulation - Invasion of Privacy/surveillance - Paranoia (implied)   Music: 'Imps' by Mark Revell 'Scouting Mission' by David Fesliyan via Fesliyan Studios

We're still here! We want to keep doing this! But it would be deeply irresponsible to get together to record. So in the meantime... Miranda and Evelyn present: The Riverdiaries We can't record recaps, but we still want to put out content. Each week, we'll alternate dramatic readings of diary entries from the citizens of Riverdale. First up: You knew he was a novelist (is he though?), but did you know he's also a diarist?   Written and Recorded by Miranda (and you KNOW she was wearing a beanie the whole time)   Content Warnings: - Alienation - Death (brief mention, implied) - Nihilism   Music: 'Imps' by Mark Revell  'Grief and Emptiness' by Steve Oxen - via Fesliyan Studios   

The OG diarist of the Archie-verse herself weighs in on the strange goings on about town. There sure is a lot of weirdness isn't there...luckily, she works at a student newspaper, so she's basically a detective. How does she feel about Veronica? What are her theories on who killed Jason? Where does she think Polly went? We just don't know, folks. Neither does she, but in the spirit of the show, she'll write about it anyway.   Written and recorded by: Evelyn (Who would rather compliment Jughead than so much as hint at the existence of 'Dark Betty')   Content Warnings: - Death    Music: 'Imps' by Mark Revell 'Quiet Time' by David Fesliyan via Fesliyan Studios

Time to hear the perspective of Riverdale's resident robot: Veronica! We've already gotten a glimpse of what's going on for the boys of the main four "teens", now let's get the situation from the girls' perspective. It isn't easy being new in town, especially when people are paying more attention to a dead body than you. How unfair. That's when it helps to have somewhere to put all your thoughts down. Like a diary. Or a memory bank.   Written and recorded by Miranda (Who learned a whole lot about the effects in Audacity this week)   Content Warnings:  - Classism - Death (implied, brief mention)   Music: 'Imps' by Mark Revell 'Fancy Date' by Steve Oxen via Fesliyan Studios Sounds effects via Fesliyan Studios

In the second entry of this project Miranda and Evelyn are undertaking during the forced hiatus of regularly scheduled programming, we hear from the "Ginger Judas" himself! Be amazed by his every-day observations! Ogle his prowess as a creator! Marvel at his perspicacity! Just kidding, he STILL doesn't know what nicknames are.    Written and Recorded by Evelyn (With special guest appearance: Twig the dog!)   Content Warnings: - Death (implied, brief mention)   Music: 'Imps' by Mark Revell 'Smilin' and Vibin'' by David Renda via Fesliyan Studios

Well, well, well if it isn't season 2 here to punch us all collectively in the gut with absurd developments.  This week we welcome Miranda's brother, and resident motorcycle expert, Cinna, to the show. He has never seen Riverdale, AND he's never read the comics so we recap the important parts of season 1 for him...which is unsurprisingly of very little help. It's to his credit that his head didn't explode a third of the way in. Starting right where season 1 left off, everyone hangs around the hospital until 'Bughead' goes to look for clues, and Archie decides that a good use of his time while his father is clinging to life by a thread is to have shower sex. Cheryl delivers the most hardcore line of the show so far, Riverdale has its own, ridiculously named drug we've never heard about before, and yet another Dad enters the competition for the title of "King DILF" Evelyn finally has a taste of the dread Miranda feels every week, but recovers after leeching the strength from two people instead of just one, and we discuss her struggles with learning to see infrared dads. Miranda rages and nearly breaks her glasses again. Cinna reveals what he thought Jughead's hat was, curses us with truly upsetting ASMR, and gives us a sneak peek at the next hit country song. Screencaps & other fun stuff can be found on our Twitter: https://twitter.com/moodforchaospod    Content Warnings: - Abortion - Audible chewing (briefly, right at the end) - Blood - Discussion of dog death (brief mention) - Drugs/drug usage - Emotional abuse/manipulation - Gun Violence - Incest - Murder - Pedophilia - Suicide   Music: 'Imps' by Mark Revell

Having re-capped a full season, berating it all the way, it's time for Evelyn and Miranda to put their creativity to the test and prove their thesis that there were other, less ridiculous ways to tell Riverdale's "story". What if - and hear us out here - there WASN'T any incest? What if the school had a guidance counsellor? What if it were a tight miniseries? What if we focused on making these characters...people??? We dig into the goldmine of small-town politics, and how safe a community like that can feel...as well as how shattering it is to have that safety called into question. Was it ever really safe for everyone? All actions have consequences and when you're in a small pond, even the tiniest of ripples can be a tidal wave. Miranda shares her favourite part of Afterlife with Archie, and talks about the time she threatened eight-year-olds with sisterly vengeance. Evelyn sings a lovely commemorative song, and will make Kevin into a three-dimensional person if it kills her. If she can also find a way to transport Riverdale to the Wild West, that would be ideal. Also: Anyone else like tapdancing whilst nude?    Content Warnings: - Emotional abuse/manipulation - Incest (brief mention) - Neglect - Pedophilia - Racial profiling (brief mention) - Racism - Religious prejudice - Transphobia - Suicide/attempted suicide   Music: 'Imps' by Mark Revell

The season one finale! The episode that should be an epic conclusion manages to be neither. Only...four more finales to go...at least...Oh God.    Penelope Blossom is the devil, Hiram puts his dick on the table, and Jughead boldly starts everything off with references to far better mystery franchises than the one he's in. Archie and Veronica will not stop hounding Betty like they're TRYING to create a love triangle where there really isn't one...oh, and Thornhill gets deliberately burned to the ground. There's a shocking ending...but we're more focused on how one might perform 'The Good Sex' with a broken hand. Or play the guitar for that matter.  On the bright side, Evelyn is enjoying her papaya and makes an EXCELLENT point about dear Cheryl. Miranda puts together a title-based conspiracy...but has no idea what it means. She also definitely doesn't know what a gun is. We sort of merge into one person at some point, but that's pretty par for the course, and then we round off the episode with our thoughts on the season overall. We'll level with you here: They're pretty negative. (Note: Secondary drowning is indeed when there's still water left in the lungs, which irritates them and oxygen can't pass through as well. It's rare, and is treatable if you go to a hospital ASAP after developing a fever, shortness of breath, chest pain, or extreme fatigue within 24 hours. Pretty grim, but stay safe everyone.)   Content Warnings: - Abortion - Arson - Derogatory Language - Drowning - Racism - Suicide/attempted suicide   Music: 'Imps' by Mark Revell

This week, we find out who did the murder... and are consequently baffled as to why this ISN'T the season finale.  A whole lot comes to light as we learn the history between the Blossoms and the Coopers (the 'Bloopers', if you will) isn't as simple as we thought, Sheriff Dad is being run ragged with all the macabre discoveries about town, someone should REALLY check in on Cheryl, and we unpack the truly bizarre origins of this show.  But first, we find out about yet another Archie adaptation. This one from 1990, and it somehow manages to give Riverdale a run for its money in how poorly it treats the characters.  Miranda is right on schedule for another tantrum of disgusted rage, and Evelyn forgets what crying is, though to be fair, this show turns you numb. We take a moment to think about the infinite universe theory...and even longer to ponder: What makes a worm a worm?   (Note for off the top: Miranda was wrong. Sophocles didn't write The Bakkhai. That was Euripides. Sorry, Mr. Euripides. Credit where credit is due)   Content Warnings: - Abortion (brief mention) - Emotional Abuse/manipulation - Drug usage/drugs - Incest - Memory Loss - Murder - Sexual Assault (brief mention) - Suicide   Music: 'Imps' by Mark Revell    

We're (river's)edging closer and closer to the season finale and things just keep getting weirder. Somehow.  This week, there's yet another school dance, and the family dinner of your nightmares to look forward to. Polly is a bad detective, but at least she won't get osteoporosis, there are a surprising amount of references to Lord of The Rings - which is to say: There's one (1) reference to Lord of The Rings, and Vegas is packing heat.  We decide that Fred is all the hobbits, Miranda busts out her stunningly mediocre Nic Cage impression, and Evelyn tells us about her adventures watching the short-lived cartoon: Archie's Weird Mysteries. Did you think this franchise was lacking in aliens, and tuber vegetables? Then boy has Evelyn got the show for you.  (Also, we can't recommend the show Garth Meringue's Darkplace enough. It's only six 25-minute episodes. They're all on Youtube, and they're all hilarious. )   Content Warnings: - Abortion (brief mention) - Drugs/drug usage - Emotional abuse/manipulation - Racism (brief mention) - Suicide - Xenophobia (brief mention)   Music: 'Imps' by Mark Revell

Good news everyone, this is an episode Evelyn has been dreading! Let's share the dread, shall we? There's certainly enough to go around. It's Jughead's birthday, and Betty is determined to ruin it by foisting her idea of a good time upon him. SO MUCH happens at the fateful party, and none of it is good. Well, except maybe one of the funniest line deliveries ever. We'll give you that one, Jughead. We'll give you that one. The Glee parallels begin to creep back in, Archie is drunk for two-thirds of the episode but don't worry: his abs are still sober, some schmuck from half a season ago returns without warning or explanation, and a WHOLE BUNCH of secrets come out when Cheryl starts a game called 'If my reputation is sunk, you're all coming down with me'. Also, in a stunning role reversal, today it's Miranda who has upsetting information to share, and it's Evelyn's glasses that are in danger. We ponder the disappearance of Agatha Christie, discuss our potential porn names, briefly forget what adverbs are, and commit many, many mouth crimes.     Content Warnings: - Alcoholism - Emotional abuse/manipulation - Incest - Physical assault - Suicide (brief)   Music: 'Imps' by Mark Revell  

This week, we delve into a topic all Canadians are familiar with: Maple Syrup!  The Blossom family gathers to perform their ridiculously archaic traditions even though Jason is gone. If only they could find some sort of surrogate...someone who can be easily swayed...someone who's hair is as red as his head is empty...Sure hope that doesn't lead to anything deeply uncomfortable! Robo-Veronica reaches out to budding poet and resident sympathy-magnet, Ethel, who's having a tough time, and yes, has not appeared in a full 6 episodes. We won't be addressing that. What we will be addressing is Cheryl's fantastic wardrobe, perhaps the most cursed line in the show to date, a truly insulting job offer, and our adoration of one Valerie Brown. The writers clearly do not share our love...but at least she gets some killer dunks in on Archie before they write her off completely. Meanwhile, in a decidedly more manic state than last week, the tangents are many, and the expectations are few. Miranda rides the rollercoaster of emotions from catatonic disgust, to vindictive ecstasy, and Evelyn Will Not put the cat toy down. Also, we talk about our respective French educations for a while, and then never bring it up again...Hey, just like Riverdale!   Content Warnings: - Abortion - Alcoholism - Emotional abuse/manipulation - Incest - Suicide   Music: 'Imps' by Mark Revell

This week, Riverdale chooses yet another hot-button issue to throw into the mix as we learn a bit more about Alice Cooper (not that one). Everyone's playing tug-o-war with Polly, but Robo-Veronica and her poor problem-solving skills are undeterred, someone needs to help Fred find his boys, we get some comics lore on Jughead, Nana Rose has straight-up magical abilities, and it's possible the residents of Riverdale are all either snakes or raccoons.  Evelyn has a confession that is honestly more earth-shattering than anything within the show itself, and Miranda talks about summer camp. The vibes are weird, but they persevere. (Should that be our tagline?)   Content Warnings: -Abortion -Physical assault/violence -Emotional abuse/manipulation -Gaslighting   Music: 'Imps' by Mark Revell

This week it's all Jughead, all the time, but SOMEHOW he's not the most infuriating character. Archie has, against all odds, pulled into the lead as Resident Douche.   The interactions between the adults continue to be far, far more engaging than the interactions between the kids...which is rather unfortunate considering the show seems to mainly be about said kids. Veronica has some sad moments, but at least she's rich, there are NO BRAND NAMES ALLOWED, Fred continues to be a saint, and Sheriff Dad doesn't know anything. While last week Miranda forgot how to math, this week she forgets how to spell! Maybe that brainpower is genetically pre-disposed to go towards bill-paying espionage. Meanwhile, Evelyn systematically dismantles every plot-point, and tells us a sordid, suspenseful tale about 'Starwait'.   Content Warnings: -Alcoholism -Arson (briefly) -Emotional abuse/manipulation -Memory loss/dementia/Alzheimer's   Music: 'Imps'  by Mark Revell

Both on Riverdale, and on the podcast, this week a few people come perilously close to a breakdown. Though really, how does that make this episode different from any of the others? Sure, there's a murdered boy whose killer remains at large, but there's also a talent show to worry about! Guess which event involves Archie 'low stakes' Andrews - who definitely does not understand how nicknames work.  Evelyn continues to wield the threat of musical episodes with frightening dexterity, Miranda talks a lot about a really good video game (Blasphemous - check it out!), and we propose yet another Riverdale spinoff. You've heard of The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, (you've probably not heard about Katy Keene,) now we present: Hal the Cuck!    Content Warnings: - Arson - Drug mentions/use - Emotional abuse/manipulation/gaslighting - Hospitals/mental institutions   Music: 'Imps' by Mark Revell

Welcome to the pronunciation corner! This week, we spend some time with The Blossoms which is exactly as fun as it sounds.  Things get funereal, various passive-aggressive comments are slung by the absurdly rich, and we talk about gym class for a while because discussing Archie's plot-line (such as it is) is That Boring.  Miranda issues a sincere apology, we get steaming mad about Kevin's characterization (such as it isn't), and also: Hey, Riverdale? You need to stop stealing the names of Evelyn's family members.  On the bright side, if we merged, we'd become the ultimate sportsperson!  (P.S. That book Miranda mentioned is called Mick Harte Was Here by Barbara Park.)   Content Warnings: - Attempted suicide - Emotional abuse - Funeral/Eulogizing  - Incest   Music: 'Imps' by Mark Revell

Despite how crazy it was, last week might as well not have happened with how little it's mentioned this week. Thanks Riverdale.   Things come to a head far quicker than one might expect regarding Grundy's ongoing crimes, there's definitely a sheriff...but the jury is out on whether there's an actual police station, and a full-on biker gang is introduced about as naturally as the dialogue on this show.  Miranda is getting alarmingly close with her predictions, and Evelyn reads a pull quote from perhaps the best interview ever given. And did we coin a new phrase? Maybe.   Content Warnings: - Domestic Abuse - Emotional manipulation - Firearms - Identity theft - Pedophilia   Music: "Imps" by Mark Revell