I Am Speaking

There is no question that there is a link between physical health and mental health. What do we do, or what can we do, when one informs or impacts the other? Karen Rothstein Pineda, founder of Multicultural Counseling Associates, and our Resident Therapist, leads this discussion on what to look for in therapy as a patient if we are having physical challenges, if we are a caretaker, what might feel like hopelessness, and finally where there is always hope. As always Karen does not disappoint with her charm, her understanding, and her insight. We are lucky to have her on the I Am Speaking team, and she always comes through for us.  Disclaimer: This podcast is for information, education and entertainment purposes only. In no way is I Am Speaking intended to provide medical advice or substitute for mental health advice, diagnosis or treatment. If you are feeling suicidal, thinking about hurting yourself or concerned that someone you know may be in danger of hurting themselves, call or text the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988, or call 911. 

October 21, over a decade ago: Peter Vishneski was driving late at night with friends and became tired behind the wheel. He nodded off. He woke up in the ICU two days later unable to move his fingers properly.  You will fall in love with Peter, or Mr. Vishneski, as his students call him. The once-physical-therapy-student-turned-HS-Biology-teacher has lessons for his students beyond composition of starch in a potato or backing up essays in Google Drive. To listen to Peter is to learn the strength of resilience, the power of overcoming grief, and the truth that sometimes kids just get it better than adults.  Your lovely cohosts had the privilege of seeing Peter as the brilliant Professor X in the OPRF HS premier of X-Men: Mad Ave (the musical), and we just had to have him on the show. To see him perform, to hear him sing, to hear him speak about his recovery and renewal, and to learn how to be a better ally and champion from him, you definitely understand what he means when you he says that life after his spinal cord injury has been “a net positive.”  We know you will fall in love with Peter Vishneski as we did. And for goodness sake, hold the door open for people, for everybody. It's just good manners. 

“Acceptance doesn't mean resignation; it means understanding that something is what it is and that there's got to be a way through it.” - Michael J. Fox Life, in all of its challenges, came at Dana Blanchard, hard and fast in 2020. Ready and packed for a big move to Australia with her husband and two kids 9 days before the world shut down, things started to go sideways. When those plans got put on indefinite hold due to the pandemic, her husband, Wells, started falling ill with unexplained sores, extreme pain, fatigue and full body aches for which doctors could not agree on a diagnosis.  Three years later and Dana's life is not what she imagined it might be. She has become the caretaker for her husband, the sole breadwinner of their family, and their move to Australia went from indefinite hold to canceled. But Dana is not one to be down and out. Fighting for answers for her husband's health and always with her glass half full, Dana continues to find love and gratitude in the every day (and sometimes she admits that things are hard and things can suck).  

In October 2019, Teresa Janik found herself in excruciating pain. She could barely focus, took her work home, and told her husband “take me to the ER right now.” What she didn't know what that by entering the ER, she'd be entering a whole new part of her life. A severe bout of diverticulitis led to sepsis which led to a literal live-saving surgery. But that wasn't the end   She came out of surgery with a stoma and ostomy bag, which was kept in place for more the seven months. She also left the ordeal with a rather new outlook on life, and the people in hers.  What happens when people don't go to the doctor “until they are dying?” Does the bar change once that scenario is actually experienced? Why do we wait so long to go to the doctor? And what happens when we do go on death's actual door?  All these questions are answered by Teresa herself. She takes us through why she went to the ER, what her in-hospital stay was like, and what insight she's gained since she thanked her stoma in the mirror.  We don't expect to face our own mortality until we are “old”. What do we do when that timeline is pushed up? Teresa Janik is brave and proud, not because she faced death, but because  she's willing to expose her vulnerability, share her fear, show her scars and find joy in her recovery. 

Jennie has spent years as an Operating Room nurse, counseling her patients, holding their hands through the pain, hearing their fears and seeing the heartbreaks. Then, one fateful day in 2022, the tables were turned and Jennie became the patient who needed counseling, some hand-holding, whose fear and heartbreak became palpable.  Jennie Ebmeyer was diagnosed, at the age of 39, with Stage I breast cancer. Within days, after a PET Scan, the diagnosis was changed to Stage IV metastatic breast cancer. Being told she had limited options, and “we've done all we can” after some harsh chemo, the medical institution was ready to usher her to the “Stage 4 Pasture”, as she calls it. But Jennie wasn't done. She just needed to advocate for herself   And her story still isn't done. Her advocacy isn't done. She is meant to write the story of a Stage 4 metastatic  breast cancer THRIVER and that is exactly what she's doing - one page at a time. 

Vickie spent her life building armor that she believed would save her from emotional pain. After decades of surgeries, medical appointments, dental procedures, scarring, braces, and bone grafts, Vickie thought her emotional armor was pretty solid. Then, her daughter came home from school in 1st grade and told her about a bullying situation that happened. After seeing red and having a “disproportionate” reaction to the situation, Vickie came to realize her armor had some chinks in it. After working on herself, unpacking her trauma and focusing on healing and self-acceptance, she has found her purpose in life - helping the cleft community, and parents of cleft individuals, build resilience and pave their own paths toward self-acceptance and love.  “Vickie Stolle is the founder of the company Dragonfly Paradigm – A Cleft Resilience Community. She is a writer, speaker, pianist, general aviation pilot, relentless list maker, book lover, strategy builder, and is also a woman born with a bilateral cleft lip and palate. Vickie knows from firsthand experience the emotional challenges one goes through living with a facial difference. As a result, she has built a community wherein she shares strategies and tools for building and maintaining emotional resilience for cleft affected individuals as well as parents and caregivers of cleft affected children.”  www.dragonflyparadigm.com

Hearing is different than listening.  Dr. Matthew Kircher is not only a talented surgeon, a brilliant doctor, and an all-around good person, but Shailushi and Kosha also are lucky enough to call him family. He is married to their cousin (and previous guest on IAS) Sheetal. He sits in the Speaker's Chair this week to discuss his work as an ENT surgeon, how an ear functions, and why Q-tips should never go near your ears.   Matthew L Kircher, MD is currently an Associate Professor of Otology, Neurotology and Skull Base Surgery in the Department of Otolaryngology – Head and Neck Surgery at Loyola University Medical Center. His practice includes the medical and surgical treatment of patients afflicted with ear disease.  He has authored numerous peer-reviewed publications and book chapters. He currently serves on several national ENT committees, Co-Editor for Audiology and Neurotology Journal and is an active member of the American Neurotology Society and the American Academy of Otolaryngology-Head and Neck Surgery.

What a freaking fun and interesting conversation.  Marijo has been making the world more accessible, one conservation at a time. For over 30 years, she's been signing her way, being of service to the deaf and hard of hearing community.  Marijo Fiacchino's resume is lengthy and her credibility is solid - she has her Certification of Interpretation (CI) and Certification of Transliteration (CT), she is RID (Registry of Interpretation for th Deaf) Certified. She has a Masters Level license in Illinois, and is qualified as an Illinois Master Mentor. So, we know she's capable, she's educated, and she's driven.   But until you speak with her, or shall we say, let her speak, you wouldn't know how passionate she is for this work that she loves, how much compassion she is for her deaf and hearing clients, and how much she views her life's work as service to a marginalized community.  The world needs more people like Marijo. And she's hilarious, to boot. 

Paul Varghese did his first comedy set in June 2001. Four months later, the world got very scary and very dark for brown people. Twenty-two years later, he continues to take the stage, kill with eloquently crafted jokes, and use his Indian-ness as a source of pride and humor.  Several months ago, one of Paul's jokes (the iPhone icon joke) went viral. Kosha saw it and showed it to everyone she knows. Paul's YouTube special dropped and your cohosts decided that this guy has got to be in our Speaker's Chair, he'd be an amazing guest. And whoa boy, were we right.  Paul is incredibly funny. But he's also incredibly thoughtful, incredibly confident, and incredibly humble. He won't go for the easy lay-ups, because he knows there's more to unearth that will be ten times funnier if you put in the thought and the work.  It was an honor and a privelage to have this amazing stand-up sit down with us for a couple hours to tell us his story. We encourage you to listen to the episode, then watch his YouTube special, and do a deep dive into his Instagram where he posts bits and jokes multiple times a week.  And if you are anywhere near where he's performing, do yourself a favor and go see one of his “programs”. And sit in the front row without fear, this dude doesn't do crowd work.  As I Was Saying: https://youtu.be/2AWY8YDO-yI Instagram: @paulvcomedian

When David Figueroa was born, his mother was told he would never walk, talk or learn enough to go through school. Last week, David turned 32 years old (Happy Birthday David!). He's a college graduate, he walked across the stage to get his diploma and now he's a motivational speaker and youth advocate for underserved and underprivelaged youth. He's also a cyclist and former 3 sport athlete. What's his message? Only you know what you are capable of.  David talks at length about who spurred him on before he developed his own voice of self-advocacy, how cruel people can be when they see someone “different,” and when not listening to a doctor was a good step in his process.  David was a joy to have in the Speaker's Chair. He has achieved plenty and deserves all the accolades and attention and love he's getting for what he's accomplished. But mostly, David is a caring, joyful, kind person who sees purpose in helping others, disability or not. 

There are certain events that punctuate a person's life, and one can't help but think of life as “before” and “after”. We might think of life “before having kids” and “after having kids”. Or “before the pandemic” versus “after the world shut down”. Anuja Martinez (née Mehta) has her life “before brain aneurysm” and “after brain aneurysm”.  At the age of 29, Anuja finally had th answer to why she would get debilitating headaches, light flashes, and tunnel vision, but the answer was terrifying. Finally a doctor listened to her and ordered an MRI, which revealed a fusiform brain aneurysm. She and her family, along with the best doctors in the world, chose a less mainstream surgery to repair the aneurysm, the surgery was successful, and Anuja is living a full and wonderful life in her “after”. But the story never ends there. To kick off our Season 5 “Physical Disability & Challenges: Seen & Unseen”, Anuja shares her journey of facing her mortality in her 20s, the consequences of not looking like she had brain surgery, and how she uses her experience to address systemic problems in the healthcare system now. A fun bonus for us: Anuja is our cousin! She is passionate, compassionate and truly lovely. You will hear her high highs and low lows in our conversation. But overall, you'll hear the drive to use her “after a brain aneurysm” life to impact change and be a force for good. 

To cap off Season 3: Mental Health & Neurodiversity, we have an amazing guest who is fighting the good fight. Nikki Naglich is a Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner at a mental health hospital in the suburbs of Chicago. She talks about treating serious mental illness, the difference between inpatient & outpatient work, and her hopes for her patients' futures.   We discuss why and when people are brought to an inpatient psych unit, which can involve police bringing a psychotic patient to the hospital instead of to jail (given someone's psychosis may include agression/violence, destruction of property, a threat or harm to oneself or others). Nikki talks about having a good relationship with the local police force, and that calling the police is an option if there is a situation where one feels unsafe or threatened. Nikki and everyone at I Am Speaking are aware and note that involving the police is not the first or ideal option for dealing with a mental health crisis.  “At the end of the day, police are trained to handle criminal activity, not provide health care. Many police tactics (including strategies of intimidation and control) are counterintuitive in mental health emergencies, where people need empathy and care.” - I Don't Mind Depending on the area and the situation, calling the police could exacerbate the situation, especially if the person is a person of color (POC.) Nikki speaks of understanding, deescalation and empathy. If you must call the police, NAMI has some advice here: tinyurl.com/3rt625w3 Nikki is a wealth of knowledge, but you hear the compassion come through loud and clear. She loves what she does, even when it's hard. And we are glad she's caring for people who have been marginalized, victimized, and demonized. Nikki, thank you for doing what you do. We need more people like you in mental healthcare.  DISCLAIMER: I Am Speaking is for information, education and entertainment purposes only. In no way is I Am Speaking intended to provide medical advice or substitute for mental health advice, diagnosis or treatment. If you are feeling suicidal, thinking about hurting yourself or concerned that someone you know may be in danger of hurting themselves, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or the Suicide Hotline at 988, or call 911.

“Athi is deeply committed to our clients, and takes a personal interest in the relationships that she builds through the practice of architecture.”  - Scott Delano, Architect Extraordinaire Athi Toufexis is an architect. She specializes in designing educational environments for learners of all abilities. She supports school districts and communities in transforming their visions into inspiring built realities. Athi strives to create future-ready solutions to better prepare students for the ever-evolving world of tomorrow. Athi is also a joy to speak with. She is clearly passionate about public service, amd creating spaces in which people can find comfort, joy and awe. As Athi mentions, architecture is a facet of life that is constantly impacting our lives, every day, every hour, every minute. We loved speaking with Athi to learn about what an architect does, and how she approaches work for different projects in and for different communities. Kosha also learns what a portico is during our conversation, which was exciting for her. Do you have a favorite building?

Unpacked is a podcast exploring life as messy people. It's conversations with counsellors, industry leaders, all storytellers discussing their experiences of being human. They talk about the strength that comes from big messy failures and vulnerable moments so we can learn to live more authentically. And today we have the co-hosts of Unpacked as guests on I Am Speaking. Evan & Tara are co-workers, best friends and found family. They speak to Kosha and Shailushi about meeting when Evan was a pastor at a church, working together at the church and then leaving that church and finding their way as individuals and friends on the flip side. Evan has become certified as an Enneagram Coach and now is helping others find their way toward growth as well.  It was a true joy to have them in the Speakers Chair(s) for our first ever duo interview! And what an inspiring and lovely duo they were to speak with about the messiness of life.  Check out their podcast Unpacked at unpackedpodcast.ca (they are Canadian!) - Shailushi and Kosha were both guests recently!  Evan's coaching business is also worth checking out! He's on Instagram at @recesscreek, or at unpackedpodcast.ca/coaching.  Also as promised, the current conversion for Canadian dollars: 1 Canadian Dollar = 0.74 USD

Hello, Listeners! Shailushi here... introducing you to this week's guest, my beloved co-host Kosha Carstens.  Kosha has shared her diagnosis of Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) on our podcast.  This week, I spoke to her in detail about her experience-- when she realized something more than regular nerves was at play, how it led to her decades-long battle with disordered eating, and how she is learning to live with the "tiger in the room." Although we are sisters, you'll hear in this episode just how well people can hide their mental health struggles from so many people, even their loved ones.  This episode is significant to me because I had the chance to hear what Kosha went through and how I could support her better.  I encourage you to listen with an open mind, even if you know what anxiety feels like.  One thing I have learned through this podcast is just how hidden some parts of our lives are and how misunderstood we might feel when we share them.

What happens when there is not a biochemical imbalance in our brains? No low dopamine or suboptimal serotonin to explain our mental health challenges? Yet, life keeps happening to us and the “slings and arrows of outrageous fortune” rain down upon us and we must march forward? What happens when those slings and arrows shake our world views and affect our mental well-being?  Today we have someone special in the Speaker's Chair. You know her and love her…Shailushi Baxi Ritchie! Your beloved hosts realized that mental health & neurodiversity affects everyone, and wanted to make sure our listeners know us a little better, what we've been through and continue to go through that often direct how we navigate the world  and Shailushi is first up!  In 2017, Shailushi was diagnosed with cancer. Loyal listeners know this, she isn't shy about speaking about her cancer diagnosis, and we've had her oncologist on last April for Shailushi's month of birthday surprise guests. But we haven't heard her story as she tells it - until now. Shailushi starts from the beginning and takes our listeners through her emotional journey - the high highs and the low lows. In the end, you hear the resolve and resilience that makes your main host here pretty damn badass.   

”We bereaved are not alone. We belong to the largest company in all the world--the company of those who have known suffering.” - Helen Keller  There are few things as isolating as grief, both in death and non-death loss. But at the same time, there is nothing so unifying, so completely shared and universal, as grief. Every person will experience grief from loss - a loved one in death, a job, a friendship, a marriage, an identity. Yet, grief and loss are concepts and experiences so seldom discussed and reckoned with.  Brittany Squillace is on a mission to help people stop hiding from their grief, and instead begin honoring it by “instilling hope in the way you view, talk about, and navigate grief.” In our first IAS w/ Expert Voices episode of 2023, Shailushi & Kosha talk with grief-specialized licensed marriage & family therapist Brittany to talk about core concepts in grief processing. how to honor one's own grief journey, and how to support a loved one who is grieving. Brittany is a brilliant therapist, and she blew us away with her passion, compassion and conviction.  Listen to this episode, and share it with someone you love. Then listen to Brittany's podcast, Exposing Grief w/ Brittany Squillace, and follow her educational YouTube channel, Exposing Grief. Trigger warning: death, grief, loss. DISCLAIMER: I Am Speaking is for information, education and entertainment purposes only. In no way is I Am Speaking intended to provide medical advice or substitute for mental health advice, diagnosis or treatment. If you are feeling suicidal, thinking about hurting yourself or concerned that someone you know may be in danger of hurting themselves, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or the Suicide Hotline at 988, or call 911.

“I literally put everything out there… My hope is for those that listen may hear it and not just feel sadness for this kid…but maybe you might hear yourself at times in it and feel a bit more connected…a bit more seen. And be sure to check out part 2…not to give spoilers, but things get better! Thanks for listening…and if there's anything you hear that you connect with and you feel any kind of way and need to talk about it. I'm here.” - Casey Gustafson That is Casey describing Part 1 of his story (if you haven't listened to it yet, stop here and go listen to it - you cannot see Return of the Jedi before A New Hope or Empire Strikes Back!) And as he spoiled for us, it does get better. His advice at the end is something we all want, we all need, and we all long for. It is simple to hear or say, but it's not easy to believe. But we can work on it together   Casey is a work in progress, just as we all are. He is learning to love the scared little kid who just needed to be seen. In fact, that's the reason he shared his story on I Am Speaking in the first place, so if someone out there feels connected or needs to connect, he might be able to be of service    

To meet Casey now, you'd think this man has got it made - a great job, recently finished his college degree, living in Chicago, engaged to be married, has an awesome dog. And you would be right - things look pretty good for Casey.  That assumption would do an injustice to Casey's story. His life has been anything but ideal and picturesque, his struggles have been real, and he came very close to throwing it all away, several times. When you listen to Casey talk of how his life unfolded, and how he had to pick himself at some of the worst moments you can imagine for a person, it sheds new light on the idea of renewed hope, and owning one's worth.  Casey is our first 2 part episode. One interview session was not enough to adequately do justice to his experiences. Religious indoctrination, being a gay man in a conservative space, untreated mental illness, substance abuse and addiction. No one lives in a vacuum, and neither do our experiences. Casey is a prime example of that, and a testament to what we are capable of if we don't give up on ourselves. 

“I am just a little OCD…” ”Stop being so OCD about it!” “I know what you mean, I can't stand dirty dishes!!” Sound familiar? If it does, it's probably because you have either heard it said or said it yourself, about being particular, or wanting things clean, or needing to be organized. Unfortunately, the problem here is that phrases like those do not nearly capture what living with OCD is like.  Our guest today is so passionate about helping people understand his life with OCD, he wrote a book about it. Evander Beatty knows that OCD can be debilitating. It can be damaging, physically, emotionally, mentally and socially. It is not about “just needing to be clean” but the internal war that occurs when something is not clean, or done properly, or organized in a certain way.  Obsessive Compulsive Disorder impacts the sufferer, but also the family, friends, colleagues and community of the sufferer. Evander has been through some dark times, but he came out the other side. And he's sharing his story. Listen to his story. And remember, you never know what someone might be enduring. Those experiences are not a joke. They are real and sometimes painful. The more we understand each other, the more we can help each other navigate the world.  DangerLife: A Dark Voyage Thru OCD https://a.co/d/j3s2VST

Eric Herrera was 19 years old when he entered the military. It was at the height of the war in Iraq, and Eric was deployed to Baghdad where he was a combat engineer trained to detect IEDs (Improvised Explosive Devices) on the streets among the trash. During his time in Iraq, Eric was faced with some harrowing experiences, some horrifying losses, and trauma that was often too painful to discuss. Until he found his own therapy - writing.  We hear about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) in our service members often, but you don't find many people who are willing to talk about their own PTSD from combat. Well, we found Eric. And we are so grateful that we did and that he trusted us with his story.  We offer a lot of lip service to being grateful to those who serve. But we need to actually do more - more resources, more tools. People who literally put their lives on the line for the rest of us deserve more than lip service. And everyone deserves to live a full life, with a plan for the future.  Eric Herrera has written a book about his experience in the military, and uses podcasts and other appearances to spread awareness of PTSD, and connect with other veterans who often cannot share their trauma with others. After you listen to his story on I Am Speaking, go buy his book (available on Amazon, or ask a local bookseller for it!): ”A Bomb Hunters Story: My Life Clearing the Roads of Iraq” by Eric Herrera  

This episode is POWERFUL. There is so much to say, and hardly the words to describe what is contained in this episode with Dawn. Dawn is an old friend of Kosha. They had a falling out and a separation of ways about halfway through high school, and you hear both Dawn and Kosha talk about what actually happened almost 30 years ago for the first time (turns out, 16 year olds tend not to have the emotional maturity for hard conversations. But this episode is more than a stroll down memory lane. Dawn's experience with complex trauma, anxiety, depression is only part of her story. Her resilience, taking a stand against her mental health struggles and her self-possession is the powerful part that every person should listen to. She's an incredible woman who has invested and continues to invest in her mental health and mental fortitude. We should all take her advice to heart. Trigger warnings: child abuse, sexual abuse, suicidal ideation DISCLAIMER: I Am Speaking is for information, education and entertainment purposes only. In no way is I Am Speaking intended to provide medical advice or substitute for mental health advice, diagnosis or treatment. If you are feeling suicidal, thinking about hurting yourself or concerned that someone you know may be in danger of hurting themselves, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or the Suicide Hotline at 988, or call 911.   

We were blown away by this conversation with Shane Thrapp, our guest today in the Speaker's Chair  Shane has Adult ADHD, ASD and Social Anxiety. He shares with us what he knows about ADHD, how he coped with the trauma associated with growing up with ADHD, and what he's doing to stop the cycle of stigma and compounded trauma for people with ADHD now   We know you have not met anyone like Shane (unless you've actually met this guy). He is larger than life, he is kind, he is self—aware and he is committed to creating order from chaos   Anyone who has ADHD, lives or just knows someone with ADHD, works with or manages someone with ADHD, or just wants to gain some understanding, and thereby maybe some compassion, for people with ADHD, listen to Shane speak. If we can understand each other better, we can navigate the world together better   TRIGGER WARNING: Discussion of addiction and abuse.  DISCLAIMER: I Am Speaking is for information, education and entertainment purposes only. In no way is I Am Speaking intended to provide medical advice or substitute for mental health advice, diagnosis or treatment. If you are feeling suicidal, thinking about hurting yourself or concerned that someone you know may be in danger of hurting themselves, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or the Suicide Hotline at 988, or call 911. 

Not all superheroes wear capes. Some wear slacks and a collared shirt during the school year, and scuba gear in the summer. So is the case with our guest on today's episode of I Am Speaking w/ Expert Voices. Scott Collins is a teacher of STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering & Math) at a public high school in suburban Chicago. But to listen to Scott is to understand he is inspiring “Citizen Scientists”. He is thoughtful, deliberate and passionate about teaching kids who are thoughtful, deliberate and passionate. He cares about raising kids who are curious and socially aware. He knows the importance of an educated and science literate future.  Listening to Scott, you'll wish you had him as a teacher. And if you had someone like him as a teacher, you'll want to reach out and thank them. 

According to the National Association of Social Workers (NASW): “School social workers are often called on to help students, families, and teachers address problems such as truancy, social withdrawal, overaggressive behaviors, rebelliousness, and the effects of special physical, emotional, or economic problems.” Barker, 2003).  Meet Amanda Collins, who is going on her 16th year in the field of school social work. Now on top of the basic trials and tribulations of “being a middle school-aged person” (and there are many), add violence in the home, unstable family living situation, poverty, perhaps having to parent siblings, going without meals, covert and overt racism, and substance abuse and clearly, Amanda has many irons in the fire as she helps these young people navigate their social-emotional, behavioral and academic lives. On top of all that, add in a pandemic, losing family members to Covid and to violence, fear, lack of resources and teachers leaving the schools in droves, and one might question how one person can take this all in and all on.  If you have or have had those questions, listen to Amanda. Her work is deeply important, and often overlooked or undervalued. Listen to Amanda, and hug a school social worker today if you can. 

Most of us have seen a show meant for entertainment with a hypnotist. He hyponostizes someone from the audience, brings them up on stage and has then cluck like a chicken or bark like a dog. It's entertaining to some, it's embarrassing to others, but is it all real? What is actual hyponosis, and how is it used in a therapeutic, purposeful setting? For that we turned to Certified Hyponotherapist Jana Osta. Her story leading up to how and why she changed careers to becoming a hypnotherapist is as fascinating as the field itself.  After you've listened to this episode, tune in to HER podcast, Tune In With Jana, where Kosha will be a guest in an upcoming episode.  We promise you won't cluck like a chicken or bark like a dog (unless you want to!) but you will learn something.  DISCLAIMER: I Am Speaking is for information, education and entertainment purposes only. In no way is I Am Speaking intended to provide medical advice or substitute for mental health advice, diagnosis or treatment. If you are feeling suicidal, thinking about hurting yourself or concerned that someone you know may be in danger of hurting themselves, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or the Suicide Hotline at 988, or call 911. 

Going to therapy can be difficult, scary and sometimes feel like one is opening Pandora's Box. But it can also be liberating, healing and feel like someone is giving you the tools to live your best life  After years of complex trauma, abuse, anxiety and depression, Louisa discovered that therapy is all of those things and more   Living with Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) Louisa has had to learn how to prioritize her mental health, advocate for herself and her family, recognize triggers. and establish boundaries. Her story is inspiring.  DISCLAIMER: I Am Speaking is for information, education and entertainment purposes only. In no way is I Am Speaking intended to provide medical advice or substitute for mental health advice, diagnosis or treatment. If you are feeling suicidal, thinking about hurting yourself or concerned that someone you know may be in danger of hurting themselves, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or the Suicide Hotline at 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433) or call 911.

Every episode of I Am Speaking w/ Shailushi and Kosha is special. We love all of our guests. Without their openness and honesty and willingness to be vulnerable, our show would be two sisters just razzing each other and talking about growing up in the middle of corn fields (that might be an awesome show but it is not *this* show.) Every so often we get a guest on the show that is amazing for a somewhat different reason. Today is one of those episodes: Jen Taylor is Kosha's best friend.  Jen's daughter Ava lives with ADHD, ODD, social anxiety and Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). Their family has been through the ringer with some of these challenges over the years, but Jen has learned, grown, and changed how she does things to help her daughter grow in a supportive and resourceful environment.  Jen's love for her family, her compassion for her daughter, and her frustration at the system at times comes through loud and clear in this conversation. Please also listen to her advice toward the end. Many times we ask “well can we do about it?” She offers one simple way we can help…and it all starts with a bit of introspection and compassion. 

Dr. Tara C. Smith is a gem. It's that simple. She's a gem.  Her CV is not so simple. It's stacked. Tara has a Bachelors in Biology from Yale, a PhD in Microbiology from University of Toledo, post-doc training in molecular epidemiology at University of Michigan. She was an Associate Professor at University of Iowa and the director of its College of Public Health's Center for Emerging Infectious Disease. For the past 9 years she's been a Professor in the College of Public Health at Kent State University. With all of the pedigree and accolades, peer-reviewed journal articles and academic appointments, Tara spends much of her time on science communication, science literacy and overcoming vaccine hesitancy for the masses. She is very active in science communication and outreach. She has maintained a science blog since 2015, and has written books on Group A and B Streptococcus, and Ebola. A second book on Ebola was published by MIT Press in 2016. She also writes about infectious disease for several national sites, pens a column for SELF.com, and serves as a member of the advisory board of the Zombie Research Society. This woman is incredibly smart, forward thinking and a relentless advocate for science literacy. 

“Motivation is not a cure for mental illness.” - Grant Hanson What happens when the dust settles? Addiction can be a whirlwind. There are an infinite number of ways that addiction can go, if left untreated it often can lead to a spiral downward, up to and including death. But what happens if you get to the “happy ending”, you get and stay sober and you now need to move forward in recovery?  We often ask the question to people in recovery and sobriety “What happened?” What happened to get them started with drugs, where did they go, how bad did it get and what made them seek treatment. But once sober, we don't ask enough “What now?” Getting and remaining sober are difficult processes - physically, mentally and emotionally   We ask these questions and discuss so much more with this weeks guest in the Speaker's Chair, Grant Hanson. He has lived both sides of the jail cell - inside the cell, being talked at, and now as an advocate and mental health entrepenaur, on the outside of the cell talking to people inside that might need the help he was once given.  We cover a lot in this conversation. Grant is honest and forthcoming with his thoughts and opinions on what we are doing right and what needs to change, what's he's doing to create those changes and why he never wants to hear “you're it” with his friends.  

What does it take to effect change in our communities? It takes money, for sure. It takes resources, of course. And it takes people like Tatiana Rohner del Sordo.  Tatiana is an immigrant from Colombia (she's our third person of Colombian heritage on our podcast. We love Colombia!) When she moved to the US with her husband, her anxiety began to flare and she didn't have her family and friends around to lean on, so she went to therapy. And then she realized how vital and how needed culture-affirming and trauma-informed therapy is. So, she became a therapist.  From there, she realized the therapy scarcity and the systemic barriers to accessing mental health resources that exist for certain communities, and she became an advocate.  As a bilingual therapist working in private practice and the nonprofit sector in Chicago, Tatiana has witnessed how wealth and privelage, or lack thereof, affect anxiety, depression, complex trauma and mental health challenges overall. As a passionate therapist and advocate for everyone needing mental healthcare, Tatiana speaks of the needs at a systemic level, the needs far beyond the hour on the couch.  She is brilliant. She is charming. And her community is lucky to have her on their side. Our guess is you'll be as smitten with her as we are. Plus, wait until her familect to find out why her husband calls her The Monkey (spoiler alert: language is amazing!) 

To hear Kate Frese Phillips talk about her life, and everything she's been through, you might understand if she has resentment or anger or distrust. But to actually listen to her, you realize that she's actually filled with resilience and curiosity and strength.  Kate was subject to religious indoctrination at a young age. She quietly suffered from anxiety and depression for years, only to be told to “just pray” if she spoke at all about her struggles, or hinted at questioning of faith. She tried everything (or damn near everything) to quiet the noise in her head, to rid herself of the shadow following her around, and there was a moment where she felt all was lost.  But that is not the end of Kate's story. As she allowed her brain to heal and reboot, she was able to heal and dismantle the “old software” that no longer made sense and no longer served her. When you hear her story, you'll realize that for Kate, being lost was never going to be the end of her story. It gave her a place to start to find herself. You will not regret spending this time with Kate, Shailushi and Kosha.  Possible Trigger Warning: religious indoctrination, suicidal ideation, self-harm, attempted suicide, domestic violence.  DISCLAIMER: I Am Speaking is for information, education and entertainment purposes only. In no way is I Am Speaking intended to provide medical advice or substitute for mental health advice, diagnosis or treatment. If you are feeling suicidal, thinking about hurting yourself or others, or are concerned that someone you know may be in danger of hurting themselves, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or the Suicide Hotline at 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433) or call 911.

What does it meant have Bipolar Disorder? Did you know there is more than one type? Did you know that you don't realize you are in a manic episode when you are in it? Did you know there was such a thing as "rapid cycling" when it comes to the manic or depressive episodes? Sally Alter is here to answer some of these questions. Sally experienced her first manic episode at the age of 15, right when her mother passed away. Her actual diagnosis came ten years later at the age of 25. This incredible, powerful and resilient woman tells her story, and the icing on the cake? She has written books to help OTHER people so perhaps someone else doesn't have to struggle like she has.  Her first book, How to Live with Bipolar, and her second book, Bipolar 1 Disorder Rescue Plan, can be found on Amazon, here is her author page:https://www.amazon.com/Sally-Alter/e/B0971TWK77/ref=dp_byline_cont_pop_ebooks_1.  DISCLAIMER: I Am Speaking is for information, education and entertainment purposes only. In no way is I Am Speaking intended to provide medical advice or substitute for mental health advice, diagnosis or treatment. If you are feeling suicidal, thinking about hurting yourself or concerned that someone you know may be in danger of hurting themselves, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or the Suicide Hotline at 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433) or call 911.

She is back for Season 4! I Am Speaking's Resident Therapist, Karen Rothstein Pineda, is here to talk some Therapy Basics. We talk about therapist credentialing, some important questions to ask yourself and your therapist, what might be going through a therapist's mind during your first few sessions, and why your therapist might not acknowledge you if you see them at the grocery store. Also, we discuss what NOT to yell at Karen if you see her at the pool this summer.  As always, she is filled with knowledge and illuminating insight. We love all our conversations with Karen, and she once again proves herself to be a vital member of the I Am Speaking team. If you are looking for a therapist, a few places to start: Psychology Today, Therapy Den, Therapy for Black Girls, Latinx Therapy, Open Path or South Asian Therapists are all websites that have search tools for therapists. Also, you can ask your doctor for a recommendation. DISCLAIMER: I Am Speaking is for information, education and entertainment purposes only. In no way is I Am Speaking intended to provide medical advice or substitute for mental health advice, diagnosis or treatment. If you are feeling suicidal, thinking about hurting yourself or concerned that someone you know may be in danger of hurting themselves, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or the Suicide Hotline at 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433) or call 911.

Representation matters. Just ask Kosha's daughter, when she discovered that a talented artist has *her name*.  Our guest today on I Am Speaking with Expert Voices is the amazing Anu Chouhan. She's an animator, illustrator and soon-to-be published author. She also is passionate about showing strong brown girls with swords, as well as brown kids just having fun.  Her story is filled with heart and preservance as she gained confidence (and Instagram followers). You'll want to follow her too, after you hear this interview. She is a joy and we cannot wait to see what's next for her career. Anu Chouhan is going places, and she's drawing the world along the way. 

Season 4 is upon us. We cannot believe it. Everyone at I Am Speaking w/ Shailushi and Kosha (and I Am Speaking w/ Expert Voices) is thrilled to embark on our second year of this podcast. Mental Health & Neurodiversity.  We cannot predict exactly what will ensue, but we know it'll be a rich, nuanced and important set of conversations.  We encourage our listeners to add comments to episodes or the podcast if the mood strikes you. Also, send us feedback and or guest inquiries via email (iamspeakingpodcast@gmail.com), DM via Facebook, Instagram or Twitter, or the guest intake form on our website (www.iamspeakingpod.com) No matter how different we are, what reaches of the world we have traversed to or from, we can and should all try to understand one another. Thank you for coming on this journey with us, for trusting us with your stories and for sharing a bit of time listening to the antics of these two sisters.  Onward. Forward. Season 4. 

Kosha here: Shailushi is my older sister and my best friend. She's my mentor and my confidante. And a few years ago, we were told that she had cancer. And it was everywhere. And suddenly, my life imploded a little bit. Then a badass oncologist came on the scene. Dr Amina Ahmed was kind, she was smart, she was hopeful…and she saved my sister's life. And in doing so, she kept my family whole.  Today on the last of the birthday surprises, on Shailushi's actual birthday, we talk to Dr Amina Ahmed. We discuss her journey from being told she couldn't to showing the world that she can and will. This woman is incredible. But more than anything, she is kind, smart, and hopeful.  Happy Birthday to my big sister. Listen for a little special message in the intro too. Shailushi is special to so many people.     

Very few people actually have to pause for a moment to remember how many patents they have for their life's work. Our guest today not only wasn't sure (“five or six” was her answer) but also tried to downplay just what an accomplishment it is to have a patent to their name.  Dr Smriti Mehta, Phd, Mom, Grandmother, Aunt, and Woman Extraordinaire, joins us in the Speaker's Chair today. And she is so much more than any of those words can do her justice. Smriti, or Smriti Mami, as we call her, has been a huge influence on our lives, and we were raised with her daughters as sisters (you heard Dr Sheetal Kircher on our first Expert Voices episode!)  Smriti is brilliant and kind, thoughtful and articulate. She shares her engagement story, the reason she struggled to get a job for a year even with her high pedigree education, and why she wrote emails a lot through her professional life. She's insightful and lovely. 

Kosha outdid herself for this birthday surprise. Conspiring with someone right under Shailushi's nose to surprise her on the podcast…Shailushi's own child!! That's right, Isha Ritchie joins us in the Speaker's Chair today. They are hilarious, talented, and bright (Kosha hopes to be like them when she grows up!) Our listeners have heard a lot about Isha over the last year. Now you get to hear straight from the source themselves. We discuss Isha's coming out as non-binary, why they choose to attend a class they hate every week, and what it's like having a Mom who is willing to talk about *anything*. Overall, this episode is so very special to both of your hosts. Don't miss any of it - and especially stay for their advice at the end.  We promise, it's worth it. 

Academic Bowl. Math Team. Paper punch art projects. Paper link competitions. Fish Fry. The memories and nostalgia go on and on.  Mrs. Joanna Cave was a huge influence in Shailushi and Kosha's lives (and those of the entire Baxi Family). Mrs Cave, who has gone by Bunny for her entire life because she was born on Easter, was the 8th grade teacher at St. Stephen's School in Streator, IL. She only taught Shailushi in class, but the rest of the Baxi Family was lucky to know her and be embraced by the entire Cave family (including husband George, and sons Joe, Jorge (or Bee), and twins Denny and Danny). This episode is filled to the brim with memories of the younger, perhaps more innocent, Kosha and Shailushi. But it was a joy to speak with Mrs. Cave as adults - to reminisce with her and to thank her for everything she has given to those two brown girls in the middle of a farm town in the middle of Illinois all those years ago. 

Emily Bleeker is the best-selling author of six novels. Combined, her books have reached over 1.5 million readers. She is a two-time Whitney Award finalist, a Wall Street Journal bestseller, Amazon charts bestseller and was recently listed as one of the top 100 Kindle authors “of all time.” That is about what she's accomplished, but she's so much more than her resume. She and Kosha are best friends from esrly high school. She's a dedicated mother of 4, a cancer survivor, an educator. She's hilarious, brilliant and talented. And we got to talk to her about all of those things PLUS funny confusing cookie fortunes, her math skills and how her books were named. You won't want to miss this episode. 

What does over 30 years of friendship sound like? Get ready to find out.  In our first installment of Shailushi's Birthday Surprise Series, we welcome Beth Guerra to the Speaker's Chair. Shailushi and Beth met when they were 15. They have been through high highs and low lows in their lives - graduate schools, cross country moves, marriage, kids, sickness, death, and rebirth - always knowing they are there for each other.  Dr. Beth Guerra is a veterinarian, and a damn good one. She shares insights into the vet med field, where things are and what she feels needs to change (first on the list, please be nice to the office staff). She and her “platonic life partner” have created and launched the first urgent care vet clinic to open in Seattle. The story is inspiring.  Moreover, Beth herself is inspiring. At 44, she found herself widowed, burned out, and unsure of where her life should go. With smarts, tenacity and drive, she found how to rise from the ashes. Some might say, like a Phoenix (and we did).  If our conversation with Beth Guerra is any indication of how the Surprise Birthday Series will go, this month will be a smashing success. And you might just be inspired. 

A day late but never a dollar short! We have been doing some Spring Break travel with their families, but never fear, we do have an episode this week! You lovable cohosts wind down Season 3: Bucking Gender Norms with a recap, some funny memories and some poignant moments from the season.  We have something fun and different for April (an A-Term, per se). Listen in for details. And then season 4 will start up in May. As always, THANK YOU to our listeners and our guests. We are loving this journey for us (shout out to Annie Murphy!) and we could not do any of this without the guests who bare their hearts and our listeners who move our stories forward. If you are touched by anything we are doing here at the I Am Speaking podcast, please tell a friend, have them listen to an episode or two. The best way to be part of our mission is to speak up, or help someone else speak up, or ask for help to speak up. The more people stand up and say "I am speaking!" the more diverse and interesting and enjoyable the world will be. Onward and upward, friends. -Love, Kosha and Shailushi

Our first experience with having a guest at the Speaker's Podium fit perfectly within the current theme of the season, and be an Expert guest! Sharmili Majmudar is a good friend of Shailushi, a brilliant mind, and a steadfast advocate for equitable and fair rights   Sharmili Majmudar oversees Women Employed's development and implementation of strategic policy and systems change priorities advancing economic justice for women. She heads the organization's advocacy efforts for the voluntary implementation of aspects of good quality jobs so employees can achieve economic stability, developing and leading WE's collaborations with employers. In partnership with employers seeking to advance gender equity, she also advocates for best practices on sexual harassment, equal pay, and other issues of gender bias that create barriers for women in the workplace. If you are anything like us, you'll fall in love with Sharmili, and get fired up about her mission with Women Employed.  To learn more or to get involved, visit womenemployed.org. 

This man's CV reads pretty impressive: Dr. Darshan Mehta is Medical Director and Director of Medical Education for the Benson-Henry Institute for Mind Body Medicine at Massachusetts General Hospital (BHI-MGH) and Director of Education at the Osher Center for Integrative Medicine, Harvard Medical School and Brigham and Women's Hospital (OCIM). Dr. Mehta received his BA in Biology from Illinois Wesleyan University and an MD from University of Texas-Southwestern Medical School. He completed his residency in internal medicine at University of Illinois-Chicago Hospital. In 2008, he completed a clinical research fellowship in complementary and integrative medicine at the Harvard Medical School Osher Research Center, during which he received a Master of Public Health degree from the Harvard School of Public Health What you wouldn't get from his CV is his humanity. His passion. His craving to learn. And his connection with others. Those things you can only glean from Darshan by listening to him. And that is exactly what we encourage you to do. With all his hats - 5 professional hats, and also those of brother, son, friend, and father — Darshan leads a full life. But it's what he strives for — gratitude, resilient, wellbeing and interconnection — within himself and with those around him that makes him rise above.  We are grateful and filled with love to have him as a guest. You will be grateful and filled with even more questions (the good kind. The questions that make you want to know more about how we work) after you listen to Dr Darshan Mehta Is Speaking. 

We love seeing a young, fierce, badass woman with a badge! Anmole Kaur, nickname Anu (no relation to Batsy) is a Deputy in the Alameda County Sheriff's Office. Her story is inspirational and you can feel how much she's made for this career as she speaks. Anu's interest in becoming a police officer started in high school and never faltered, and she had some resistance along the way. She refused to cry in front of anyone during Academy training (in her driveway didn't count) and always pushed herself to complete her task (even running the hills).  So often we hear about the drawbacks of being a woman in a male-dominated industry. But here, we hear Anu speak of how being a woman deputy during jail assignment can work to the entire team's advantage at times. And that is the word that comes back around during the episode: TEAM. It sounds like Anu has a fantastic team on her side and her team is lucky to have her as a member. Anu, thank you for joining us at the Speaker's Podium today. You were extraordinary.  Also, thank you for your service. 

Kevin Shelton Jr. Is Speaking.  What an amazing guest. Kevin and Kosha work at the same company. Kevin shares his experiences working in corporate America while continuing a high level of activism, which sometimes can be frustrating. But when he's working on “changing hearts,” it also can be fulfilling.  Our time with Kevin was fascinating and inspiring. He promised to come back and we are going to hold him to it. He was a joy to listen to, and we think you'll feel the same way. 

Rockstar-turned-preschool teacher joins us in the Speaker's Chair this week to discuss his adventures in molding the minds of 3-4 year olds.  We had some preconceived notions of what it might be like to be a male daycare teacher, but Chris gave us the real scoop of what it's like, what he loves about being led by a strong team of women, and how gender does (and doesn't) play a part in his job. Whatever you thought life in a classroom full of 3-4 year olds might be, we are certain you'll learn something new from Chris (also if you are looking to adopt a kangaroo!). We had such an awesome time with Chris, and we can see why he's so good at his job. We think you'll see it too. 

We love interviewing our friends! We get to spend time learning about them and understanding a little more what makes them tick. This week in the Speaker's Chair is Leigh Steffy, one of Shailushi's closest friends.  Leigh life never has been split into blue and pink roles. She and her brother went fishing together with their dad, and then went to the theater with their mom. She loves using power tools and she loves cooking. As she's grown up and started a family of her own, she and her husband have navigated their responsibilities not through what they *should* do, but rather what they *want* to do or what makes the most sense for their family.  This conversation is insightful, it is intriguing and it is hilarious. Leigh is a fantastic storyteller, and the stories she is telling deserve to be heard.   

Dr. Javier Gomez is a cardiologist at John H.  Stroger Hospital, also known as Cook County Hospital. He immigrated to the US from Colombia to train and specialize, and then he stayed. His story of how he came to Cook County Hospital is fascinating. The reasons why he stays are inspiring.  Javier has an undeniable charm. He's warm and funny, but he's also sharp and deeply passionate about treating his patients. He takes time to understand his patients as people, not just symptoms, and he teaches fellows and residents to see them accordingly as well.  Our conversation with Javier was like a warm blanket. We felt safe and taken care of, exactly how you'd want to feel when you are in the hospital. Dr. Gomez's patients are lucky to have him at the helm of their care. Enjoy our latest installment of I Am Speaking w/ Expert Voices: Dr. Javier Gomez.  

Being a flight attendant is not all about handing out peanuts and making sure people have their tray tables up. Not even close. Every day at work, Mike takes on much of the responsibility for the safety of the passengers on the flights that he is working on. And most people do not recognize how much responsibility that actually is when they are demanding a better seat or fighting about wearing a mask on board. In 2013, Mike was the only straight man in the room during his training courses. And while things are changing, they aren't changing quickly. This conversation was so so good, you do not want to miss it. Mike is funny, open, and thoughtful. And if you are anything like Shailushi and Kosha, you will come away from the discussion not only understanding a bit more about the industry, but also hoping Mike is your lead flight attendant on your next flight. You might also question some of your own ingrained asumptions and ideas of gender and how or why we see certain professions as "for men" or "for women". What happens you are in a professional that assumes something about your personality and your sexuality without you saying a word about either? Listen to Mike to find out. He was a joy to speak to and with.