Nurturing Habit

Sheltering in place during this pandemic is especially hard for mothers who are introverts, especially when your kids are very small. You just.want.to.be.alone, but that space and quiet is really hard to come by.   In this Summer Break re-run episode, I share a bit of my own story, finding my way as an introvert and a stay-at-home mother. I also offer suggestions for how introvert moms can better care for themselves and be more calm, recharged and focused by practicing self-care that gets right at the need for quiet and alone time (even if your family never leaves you alone).    In this episode: what it means to be introverted and why at-home mothering hard for this personality how to learn your own signals for needing a quiet break five introvert-specific self-care ideas that you can apply now   Links for this episode:   Complete show notes for Episode  Connect with Doña on Instagram Get the Get Back In Control Of Your Life workbook and get regular updates about the podcast Work with Doña - email me a note with what is currently frustrating you and how you'd like your life to feel. I'll reply with the next step in the process.       

This summer break-re-release is an episode where I break down the philosophy behind the KonMari method, and how to apply it to more than just your house. After you listen, I want you to review what is - or was - in your life pre-Covid, and what you WANT in your life now.   There is so much we want but still can’t have. But what are you actually relieved to no longer be doing? When you get to start doing all the things again, which are the ones you really want, and which do you just think you should go back to? What do you want to keep from this period of being forced into being slow and small? There might be a lot.    What you’ll hear in this episode: an overview of the KonMari method and why this applies to more than just your closet some of the ways it feels in your body to feel joy other places in your life you can ask “does this bring me joy” and edit what doesn't why developing the skill to recognize your joy will allow you to unhook from the weight of things that make other people happy - but not you   Links for this episode:   Complete show notes for Episode  Connect with Doña on Instagram Get the Get Back In Control Of Your Life workbook and get regular updates about the podcast Work with Doña - email me a note with what is currently frustrating you and how you'd like your life to feel. I'll reply with the next step in the process.     

Being turned on means to be ready. Not, in this case, for sexy stuff, but to be ready to invite life in. Do you feel open to that invitation? Or are you instead worn out, exhausted, and touched out?    Motherhood - life - doesn’t have to feel this way. But if you are waiting for someone to swoop in and fix it, you might be waiting a long time.    This week’s episode (#64) is about how you can reconnect with yourself, reconnect with the world, start to feel alive and vital again. It is about how you can light yourself bak up again.    In this episode, I explore what it means to turn yourself back on - to life, to connection, to fun, and yeah, maybe for sexy stuff, too.    What you’ll hear in this episode Why you being turned on is important Prompts to figure out what your personal turn ons are 8 ways to get yourself turned back on   Links for this episode   Complete show notes for Episode Connect with Doña on Instagram Get the Get Back In Control Of Your Life workbook and get regular updates about the podcast Work with Doña - email me a note with what is currently frustrating you and how you'd like your life to feel. I'll reply with the next step in the process.   

In this summer break re-release, I get personal about how I tended to myself in a particularly hard season; what worked for me, where I set boundaries, what I did to nourish myself.    I hope you will hear some ideas here that you can implement in your own life. Ideas that make you think, "Huh, I hadn’t thought of that as self-care!” But it is. It totally is. And the effects will last a lot longer than a bubble bath, too.   What you’ll find in this episode:  the secret to how I menu-plan how I’m building my village questions to ask yourself to find out what you really need ideas about how to build your own super personalized self-care practice Links for this episode:   Complete show notes for Episode  Connect with Doña on Instagram Get the Get Back In Control Of Your Life workbook and get regular updates about the podcast Work with Doña - email me a note with what is currently frustrating you and how you'd like your life to feel. I'll reply with the next step in the process

How do you talk to your kids about the hard stuff? Illness, death, violence? Racism?    If you feel completely unprepared for these conversations, this episode should help. While there is no one script to cover all the different conversations, there are some general guidelines that will help you feel more confident and brave, no matter what the topic. In this episode I share a rough framework that will help you prepare for and have a conversation with your child - at any age - about those more tricky or emotional topics.     What you’ll hear in this episode: How to approach your child about a hard topic - whether they are 3 or 13.  Why you don’t actually need to know all the answers. The most important part of any hard conversation, with any child.  Links for this show   Complete show notes for Episode  Connect with Doña on Instagram Get the Get Back In Control Of Your Life workbook and get regular updates about the podcast Work with Doña - email me a note with what is currently frustrating you and how you'd like your life to feel. I'll reply with the next step in the process.

Do you feel like a good parent every day? Or do you snap and get frustrated, say things you regret, and wish you had different kids?:   Welcome to being human during a pandemic, so give yourself some grace. You don’t have to be stuck here. Doing your own personal work - increasing your awareness, mindfulness, and self-care - can change everything about how you parent.   My guest for this episode, Casey O’Roarty, has been training and coaching parents since 2007, and credits her commitment to her own personal work to helping her get through some pretty intense stuff - not even including the current world crisis. Her work encourages parents to discover the purpose of their journey, while also providing them with tools and a shift of mindset that allows them to deepen their relationships with themselves and their families.   Links for this episode   Complete show notes for Episode  Connect with Doña on Instagram Get the Get Back In Control Of Your Life workbook and get regular updates about the podcast Work with Doña - email me a note with what is currently frustrating you and how you'd like your life to feel. I'll reply with the next step in the process.     

Uma Girish believes that this pandemic is here to teach us something important. Uma is an author, speaker and life purpose coach, and she believes that you are here, at this moment in time, on purpose. What can you learn from this experience? How can you support and usher your kids through it so that it has greater meaning than just being paused?    What you’ll hear in this episode   Why this pandemic is happening now and what we can learn from it Why the global scale and interconnectedness of this experience is so important How to support yourself and how to support your children in their experience during this time. An exercise in softening your anxiety Links for this episode:   Complete show notes for Episode  Connect with Doña on Instagram Get the Get Back In Control Of Your Life workbook and get regular updates about the podcast Work with Doña - email me a note with what is currently frustrating you and how you'd like your life to feel. I'll reply with the next step in the process.   

“I need help following through on doing things that are good for me,” is what she said to me, but what she really needed was:   permission to be ok with choosing her self-care time over chores identifying some hidden inequality in her partnership that she could address unearthing and questioning her expectations of herself and her definition of “good moms do…"     In this live coaching episode, I help Dacy dig in to what was REALLY going on, what she really WANTED - and it was not at all what she thought she was after. It was so much more far-reaching!   What you’ll hear in this episode   How what’s going on on the surface might be masking the real issue How to identify subtle inequalities in your relationship Why you get to define what an “organized mom” actually does (not Pinterest) Links for this episode   Complete show notes for Episode  Connect with Doña on Instagram Get the Get Back In Control Of Your Life workbook and get regular updates about the podcast Work with Doña - email me a note with what is currently frustrating you and how you'd like your life to feel. I'll reply with the next step in the process.   

Last month, life shifted for everyone. I expect you are feeling the deep impact of that right now. I’m personally writing this five weeks into sheltering at home, a month into school closures and my partner working at home, and no end in sight.    Every woman I’ve come in contact with is feeling the strain of this massive shift in our time, income, and the ways we emotionally support ourselves and our families.    Carey Osenbau’s life is no different. She’s the mom of 3 kids and owner of a boutique branding business. Normally, her husband travels extensively for work and she balances the needs of her young daughter and teenage sons, while also supporting her business. But right now, she’s homeschooling, sharing her tiny office with her husband, who is not traveling at all but working full time remotely. And still running her business, because her clients still need branding! Carey also has a chronic illness that flares with stress, so she has to be super intentional about managing her mental health.    In this episode, Carey shares how the systems she used to run her business and balance her work and life in the before times allowed her to shift into this new experience.    If you are struggling to find your way in this new world, I hope you will pick up some ideas from Carey’s experience so that you can focus, balance, and find a bit more grace in this pandemic life.    What you’ll hear in this episode a simple system that you can use to help you adapt during this challenging and changing time why a morning routine is so important for you right now what intentional stress management looks like   Links for this episode   Complete show notes for Episode Connect with Doña on Instagram Get the Get Back In Control Of Your Life workbook and get regular updates about the podcast Work with Doña - email me a note with what is currently frustrating you and how you'd like your life to feel. I'll reply with the next step in the process. 

Today’s guest is a song doula. You’ve probably never heard of that. I hadn’t either!    Chelsea is a singer and songwriter who works with women to begin to write their own songs, But that process, as she will describe in this interview, is so much more than learning how to place the chorus and the verses or how to set a story to music,    it is about learning how to dig into what’s really true, what’s real, and as she says in this interview, sometimes that truth can be really not pretty, and has to be reckoned with. And that’s the place where her work and mine intersect, and why I wanted to bring her perspective to this show.    What you’ll hear in this episode why writing a song is a metaphor for finding your voice why performance is such an important part of this process how finding your voice can shift everything in your life.    links for this show:   Complete show notes for Episode  Connect with Doña on Instagram Get the Get Back In Control Of Your Life workbook and get regular updates about the podcast Work with Doña - email me a note with what is currently frustrating you and how you'd like your life to feel. I'll reply with the next step in the process.   

We are in a period of time like none any of us have experienced before. It feels overwhelming, scary, and stressful. There are so many decisions we are trying to make every day, in an environment where we have never made decisions like these before.   So how the heck we figure out what we should do when we are uncertain? When everyone has an opinion and they don’t necessarily make sense, or they might even contradict each other. What should you do when you are afraid, or when everyone around you is afraid? What should you do when even our leaders don’t make sense? What should you do when you find yourself in a situation where you have no experience to guide you?   What you’ll hear in this episode How to make clear and confident decisions when you don’t feel clear at all The three steps to take before you make any decision Several free resources from me to support you in this uncertain and stressful time.   Links for this episode: Complete show notes for Episode Connect with Doña on Instagram Get the Get Back In Control Of Your Life workbook and get regular updates about the podcast Work with Doña - email me a note with what is currently frustrating you most. I'll reply with the next step in the process. 

Would you stand in front of a bus for your kids? Are you making decisions that are the equivalent of many tiny steps in front of a bus, over many years? The outcome is still the same - and it isn’t good for you or your kids. Sometimes we do things that are great for our kids, but are actually a detriment to ourselves. And then we feel really stuck in this decision.   In this episode, I coach a divorced mom who has moved and changed jobs to live closer to her co-parent, which is great for her son, but is making her miserable. She feels stuck and unhappy and so tired.    In this conversation, we dug into where the positives are in her life, how to reconnect with the kinds of things that light her up, and how to hold this current situation a little more lightly, so she can have more joy in her day to day life in spite of the uncertainty of what her future will bring.    What you’ll hear in this episode   Why listening in on someone else being coached can be so valuable An example of intentionally shifting your thoughts to feel better right away An exercise to reconnect with what lights you up (even if you think you don’t know)   Links for this episode   Complete show notes for Episode 55 Connect with Doña on Instagram Get the Get Back In Control Of Your Life workbook and get regular updates about the podcast Work with Doña - email me a note with what is currently frustrating you and how you'd like your life to feel. I'll reply with the next step in the process. 

What you'll hear in this episode How Erika found herself again after being swallowed by motherhood. Why roller derby is a great sport for finding your strength and determination. How being in a community with people with all different kinds of bodies can really shift your relationship with your own body. How to sell your work without feeling sleazy.   Links for this show: Complete show notes for Episode 54 Connect with Doña on Instagram Get the Get Back In Control Of Your Life workbook and get regular updates about the podcast Work with Doña - email me a note with what is currently frustrating you and how you'd like your life to feel. I'll reply with the next step in the process.

Do you know what you need most in each season? Does winter feel different to you than other seasons? Winter is so much harder for me than any other time of year, which requires some major commitment to my self-care. Which, as I confess in this episode, I've not been doing.  What you’ll hear in this episode   how I have to care for myself differently in the winter how I’ve been failing to do so what I’m adjusting and why ideas for ways you can care for yourself better in these darker months, too Links for this show: Complete show notes for Episode 53 Connect with Doña on Instagram Get the Get Back In Control Of Your Life workbook and get regular updates about the podcast Work with Doña - email me a note with what is currently frustrating you and how you'd like your life to feel. I'll reply with the next step in the process. 

Guest Melissa Camara Wilkins, award-winning blogger, speaker, author of Permission Granted: Be Who You Were Made to Be and Let Go of The Rest, talks with me about the ways we can give ourselves more permission to be our whole selves, and what that can do to expand our way of living. What you’ll hear in this episode Why the discomfort of showing up as your imperfect self is worth it What to do if you reach decision overwhelm in IKEA The kinds of permissions I’d like to give myself and my clients, after reading Melissa’s book Several questions you can ask yourself when you’re stuck Links for this show: Complete show notes for Episode 52 Connect with Doña on Instagram Get the Get Back In Control Of Your Life workbook and get regular updates about the podcast Work with Doña - email me a note with what is currently frustrating you and how you'd like your life to feel. I'll reply with the next step in the process. 

Sometimes what you need to pull yourself out of a funk is cozy slippers, hot tea, and deep conversation. Other times, what you need is permission to slam your body into another strong woman while roller skating.    When Erika Tebbens found herself drowning in motherhood after moving across the country to a new community, the way she found herself again was through the surprisingly fierce community of roller derby. Erika is host of the Sell It Sister Podcast, and a coach for female-identifying people who want to make more money in their businesses without either complex systems or sleazy sales tactics and in this episode she shares her story of how she fought her way back to herself through a method that surprised even her.  What you’ll hear in this episode How Erika found herself again after being swallowed by motherhood. Why roller derby is a great sport for finding your strength and determination. How being in a community with people with all different kinds of bodies can really shift your relationship with your own body. How to sell your work without feeling sleazy. Links for this show: Complete show notes for Episode 51 Connect with Doña on Instagram Get the Get Back In Control Of Your Life workbook and get regular updates about the podcast Work with Doña - email me a note with what is currently frustrating you and how you'd like your life to feel. I'll reply with the next step in the process. 

It is so easy to make friends when you are 4, or 8. Right? “Hey, do you want to play with me? Yet it feels so hard when you are 33, or 48. “Um, hi, I think you might be cool and I’d kind of like to know you.”  AWKWARD. This episode is all about making it feel a little easier to make those first connections with new people. Because what I’ve discovered is that we can actually learn a lot about how to make friends from how our kids do it. Our adult brains just want to over-complicate the whole thing. So check out Episode 50 now for some ways to un-complicate making friends as a grown up, and get more confident about saying hello to that cool-looking chick at the park. And then have the courage to try again if that connection doesn’t work out. What you’ll hear in this episode: Ideas for where to meet interesting new people. How to start a conversation with a stranger. How to to make an impression as a good friend. How to keep the connection going - without being creepy. Links for this show: Complete show notes for Episode 50 Sign up to get notified about the upcoming self-care class. Connect with Doña on Instagram Get the Get Back In Control Of Your Life workbook and get regular updates about the podcast Work with Doña - email me a note with what is currently frustrating you and how you'd like your life to feel. I'll reply with the next step in the process.   

Does your home feel chaotic, overwhelming, and like there’s constantly too many small things to keep track of, so you aren’t making any progress on any big goals or dreams? Yvonne Marcus teaches Agile project management methods to moms, so they can more efficiently run their homes. In this episode, she tells us all about what that means, the basics of how to do it, and the kind of results that her clients are seeing - like drinking coffee hot every morning, saving money, and watching their kids help solve their own behavior struggles. I mean, wow. And what I love about this is that it takes the weight of household management off the shoulders of the mom, where it usually sits. It increases communication and engages the other family members, even young kids, in taking ownership of personal and household responsibilities. And doesn’t that sound amazing? What you’ll hear in this episode what the heck is Agile project management and how can it be used to make your home life more efficient? How Yvonne manages to drink her coffee hot every morning Some ideas for functional chore charts for kids of all ages Why functional over pretty is so important how to handle big goals vs. small goals and goals at different ages how and why you need to delegate a lot more work to your family - and why that is so hard how Yvonne schedules her self-care on the family schedule every day how to identify values and a mission statement for your family the two questions Yvonne asks her kids to get real insight on their day Links for this show: Complete show notes for Episode 49 Sign up to get notified about the upcoming self-care class. Connect with Doña on Instagram Get the Get Back In Control Of Your Life workbook and get regular updates about the podcast Work with Doña - email me a note with what is currently frustrating you and how you'd like your life to feel. I'll reply with the next step in the process. 

How do you feel about weekends? At various points in my parenting journey, I have dreaded them, looked forward to them, and felt entirely undone by them. A friend of mine admitted recently that she’s been watching the clock on Sunday afternoon, counting down until bedtime, because in the morning she can send her kids back to school. And she feels kind of terrible about that. Another friend has been feeling bad about not focusing enough on her kids on the weekend. Here’s the truth: We’re all experiencing different things on the weekend, but a lot of us are feeling bad about our experience.  So in my mission to create more happy moms, I have some tips to make your weekends happier, no matter what kid season you are in. Let’s banish that Monday guilt, OK? In this episode: Why weekends might feel hard for you right now. 3 tips to make weekends feel better, no matter what season you are in.   Links for this show: Complete show notes for Episode 48 Sign up to get notified about the upcoming self-care class. Connect with Doña on Instagram Get the Get Back In Control Of Your Life workbook and get regular updates about the podcast Work with Doña - email me a note with what is currently frustrating you and how you'd like your life to feel. I'll reply with the next step in the process. 

How often have you wished you could just do something without being afraid? I know in my own life, fear is often the root of why I hold myself back, why I do not take that action or say the things I want to say. Enter Kate Swoboda, who has literally written the book on this topic. Kate is author of The Courage Habit,creator of YourCourageousLife.com and Director of the Courageous Living Coach Certification, where I received my coaching training. Kate firmly believes that the absence of fear is not the goal. The goal is to live comfortably with fear, and know how to work with it, and take the action you want to take anyway. It is because of Kate’s training and wisdom on this topic that I have braved so many of the very hard circumstances that have appeared in my life in the last few years with some amount of grace.  To learn how you can be more courageous and navigate the hard stuff in your life with much more ease, check out this week’s bonus episode with Kate Swoboda now.  In this episode: Courage is a habit; it takes practice. If affirmations don’t work for you, try reframing instead. Do more than talk about Brene Brown’s work; really learn how to practice vulnerability. What’s your kryptonite? Think about where you get stuck over and over - that’s where your work is. The best way to find your community. Kate’s On Fire and On Purpose practice. Links for this show Complete show notes for Episode 47 Connect with Doña on Instagram Get the Get Back In Control Of Your Life workbook and get regular updates about the podcast Work with Doña - email me a note with what is currently frustrating you and how you'd like your life to feel. I'll reply with the next step in the process. 

I’ve heard over and over from clients that they are in a season where sex feels not much fun. They are tired, touched out, and have no energy to give their partners. They miss it, but they also don’t really want to do it.    That’s totally normal.   In this conversation with Leah Carey, we discuss some of the ways that you can get really clear about what kind of intimacy you want with your partner, no matter what season you are in, and how to find your voice to ask for it. And what I find so fascinating (and important!) about this conversation, is that the more you practice identifying your needs and asking for them in any part of your life, the more you have that skill everywhere.    You can get what you want in bed, and you can get what you want in the kitchen, and in the office, too.    In this episode You CAN ask for what you want, and practicing that skill anywhere helps everywhere There is a normal - and wide - spectrum of desire.  Intimacy can be just as important as sex. We all have different needs for touch, and there are so many factors that impact our current needs. How to increase desire, attraction, and interest in your partner.  Wherever you are on any of this, you are normal.  Complete show notes for Episode 46 Connect with Doña on Instagram Get the Get Back In Control Of Your Life workbook and get regular updates about the podcast Find out how to work one on one with Doña

How many times throughout your day do you take an action without really thinking about it? So many times, right? The reality, for any busy and engaged mom, is that is really noisy in your head.   Some of that noise is helpful, keeping the show running, but some of it is less helpful, and it is running you. Your thoughts influence how you feel, and how you feel determines how you act. When your thoughts are aligned with your values and your goals, you will feel in control and at ease. But if your thoughts are running amok, you will find yourself exhausted, frustrated, and probably have a constant mean voice in your head critiquing your every action.    But you can wrest back control. The simple practices I outline in this episode give you a peek into how you can manage your thoughts to create a life that you actually want, and where you don’t waste energy berating yourself. What will you do with all that extra energy and attention?   In this episode why practice is important for your life get more energy in your life by cutting out second-guessing and berating yourself how your thoughts are running your life - and how to get back in control the practice that will help you create the life you want Complete show notes for Episode 45 Connect with Doña on Instagram Get the Get Back In Control Of Your Life workbook and get regular updates about the podcast Find out how to work one on one with Doña

Every mom I know stresses about food an their family. Most of us are the primary food-producers and we're thinking about food and nutrition and how to get vegetables into our kid’s mouths more than we’d really like to admit. And it’s stressful, right?   Enter Amy Vig, who is mom, podcaster, and Natural Foods Chef. She turns parents into kitchen ninjas so that they can feed their families healthy food more often. Her passion is making healthy food delicious and sharing tips, tricks, and recipes that fit your REAL life.   In this episode   How even chefs don’t find feeding their kids easy. A different perspective on what meal planning and batch cooking can mean. Tons of tips for making your interactions in the kitchen and at the table easier. How to deal with picky eaters. How to help your kids be responsible for their own food. Complete show notes for Episode 44 Connect with Doña on Instagram Get the Get Back In Control Of Your Life workbook and get regular updates about the podcast Find out how to work one on one with Doña

This week’s episode is a battle cry for independence. For your independence from feeling like you are trapped in a life that never quite makes sense. Like you are messing up, no matter what you do. Like it is always hard and frustrating. Like you are never quite getting the support and recognition that feels reasonable.    Does that feel like your life?    I say enough.    I know how to help you not have to choose between personhood and motherhood. I know some of the tools to help us be both, and to help it feels so much better, even in the midst of the culture that makes us hard. I know a dozen ways you can lay the groundwork in your self, your home, your marriage, so that you can stand up to a culture that doesn’t really respect or value you as a mom or even as a woman, and insist on respect and equality.    What you’ll learn in this episode: what it looks and feels like to live in a culture where you are not valued why it has been hard for me to speak up about these issues before, and why I’m doing it anyway what your life can be like, if you were no longer wrapped up in whether you are a good enough mom how you can learn more about the 12 tools that will  make your life begin to make more sense Complete show notes for Episode 43 Connect with Doña on Instagram Get the Get Back In Control Of Your Life workbook and get regular updates about the podcast Find out how to work one on one with Doña

What do you do when there’s something you know you are meant to create, but you don’t have any idea how to make that thing happen?    That was the question Cathy Krizik was facing. Cathy is the author of 52 reasons for Hope: Finding Inspiration in Times of Trouble. She knew she wanted more fulfillment in her life, and she had a glimmer of a dream to write a book. Ten years later, she has published that book, and is joining me to tell us what she learned about the process of bringing that dream to life, alongside building a life that feels so much more meaningful.   Sometimes the process of building something is as important as the thing you are building, and sometimes a dream takes 10 years to come true. But with Cathy’s wisdom, you might get to your dream a whole lot faster!    Don’t miss your chance to win a copy of Cathy’s book this month - listen to the first pert of the episode for details on how to enter to win.    What you’ll learn in this episode: How Cathy went from being a graphic designer to writing a self-help book  The point where most people give up, and what Cathy did instead The one thing you need to do consistently to make your dream a reality Complete show notes for Episode 42 Connect with Doña on Instagram Get the Get Back In Control Of Your Life workbook and get regular updates about the podcast Find out how to work one on one with Doña

We’ve all done it. We’ve passed judgment on some mom for something she’s done (or not done).    For being on her phone while she’s at the park with her kids.   For going back to work “so soon” after giving birth.    For extended breastfeeding - or not. For sleep training - or not. For making handmade organic baby food - or not.    And have you ever worried about what other people will think about your own decisions, for your own family? I’m guessing yes.    The reality is that all this judgment isn’t helping any of us. But also, we can learn a great deal about ourselves if we are willing to get brave and look at why we pass judgement on others, and when.    In fact, this might be the thing that allows you to break free of your fear of being judge by others and making stronger, clearer decisions that you absolutely know are right for you.  In this episode: What are the Mommy Wars and why they are so bad for all of us What's underneath your judgment of other women How to shift your thinking and bring more compassion and empathy to yourself and others An exciting announcement about the next episode Complete show notes for Episode 41 Connect with Doña on Instagram Get the Get Back In Control Of Your Life workbook and get regular updates about the podcast Find out how to work one on one with Doña

What’s your money story? We all have one. You’re bad with money. You’re a good saver. Money is bad, money is good.    For most women, our relationship with money is one of our most fraught relationships, second perhaps only to the complexity of your relationship with your mother. But dealing with money is necessary, and learning to have a clear and grounded relationship to it is an important step to feeling independent and in control in your life.    That’s why I brought my good friend Rachelle Magadan, owner of the Art of Love and Money, on the show this week. Rachelle works with women who want to be good with their money, but are afraid that means not being able to have fun anymore. She helps them create a financial safety net, pay off debt, and free up cash so that they can live a life they love.   In this episode: How Rachelle makes talking about money fun How to celebrate what you do well with money, even if you think you suck at all of it.  Why you need a cash cushion Why you need a budget (and some YNAB basics) How dealing with your money can be a nurturing act Complete show notes for Episode 39 Connect with Doña on Instagram Get the Get Back In Control Of Your Life workbook and get regular updates about the podcast Find out how to work one on one with Doña

I have become someone who folds and rolls her underwear and tucks them into a tiny box inside the drawer. I used to be someone who just stuffed them all in a drawer and shoved it shut, until recently the shoving had become rather forceful, because the drawer was overfull. So I KonMari’ed my dresser, and while folding and rolling my underwear while folding laundry is still annoying me, opening that tidy (non-shoved) drawer and finding all my things tucked tidily and prettily inside? That fills me with delight every single morning. And because I am someone who seeks more delight in my life, I started wondering how Marie Kondo’s ideas about confronting your stuff could be applied to more than the physical stuff in my life, but also the mental stuff. Listen to episode 39 now to hear more about what that could mean for you (spoiler: lots more joy, lots less overwhelm and guilt).  In this episode: An overview of the KonMari method and why this applies to more than just your closet Some of the ways it feels in your body to feel joy Other places in your life you can ask “does this bring me joy” and edit what doesn't Why developing the skill to recognize your joy will allow you to unhook from the weight of things that make other people happy - but not you Complete show notes for Episode 39 Connect with Doña on Instagram Get the Get Back In Control Of Your Life workbook and get regular updates about the podcast Find out how to work one on one with Doña

You know yourself - don’t you?    What I’m learning from my clients (and about myself) is that so many of us really don’t. Or we know what’s on the surface, but not what’s underneath. And like a duck swimming along, there may be a lot of calm on the surface, and a LOT going on underneath.   But getting to know yourself better - your motivations, feelings, beliefs, desires - is really pretty easy. And knowing yourself well is a powerful step toward accepting yourself, as well as deciding where and how to make changes in your life.    In this episode, I dig in to why knowing yourself can be so powerful and how to do it. Whether you just scratch the surface or want to dive really deep, these suggestions will get you headed in the right direction.    In this episode: Why self-awareness is so important How self-awareness can lead to ease and to change 7 ways to get to know yourself more deeply Show notes for Episode 38 Connect with Doña on Instagram Get the Get Back In Control Of Your Life workbook and get regular updates about the podcast

What does it feel like when you are not taking up the space ion the world that you deserve? The truth is, even those of us who believe strongly in equality for women, in parenting, in relationships (and that’s me), still let ourselves be small. We don’t insist. We don’t speak out. We don’t get pissed off and say, “No. I deserve this.”   And I’ll be honest, that’s me, too. But I’m learning to do better. And I know that the more I take up my own space, the more I give you permission to take up your space.    This episode is about what it looks like to give up your space, why you need to quit doing that, and what it can look like to take it back.   In this episode: Some real life examples of how women give up or don’t claim their space What it looks and sounds like when you are giving up your space WHY we give up our space Why you need to start claiming your space back How I can help you, if this is your struggle, too Show notes for Episode 37 Connect with Doña on Instagram Get the Get Back In Control Of Your Life workbook and get regular updates about the podcast

Did you know that there’s bacteria in dirt that can elevate your mood? I didn’t either, but the spring after my ex and I separated, I would come home from work and head straight out into the garden to get my hands into the dirt. I didn’t know why it helped me feel better, I just knew that the feeling of my hands in dirt and on plants was soothing to my soul. And the beneficial bacteria was probably helping, too.   Humans are sensual beings. But when your life is busy and you are focused on just keeping everything running and everyone safe, you aren’t noticing the sensations that are entering your body all the time. This is such a simple form of self-care, and accessible all the time - anytime.    And the benefit of noticing your sensations and also tuning into them is that you will feel more in your body and out of that swirling to-do list and worry in your mind. You will be more aware of what your body and your heart are hungering for, and then can take the steps to feed yourself even more deeply.    It is a win-win-win process.   In this episode Why nurturing your senses can decrease anxiety and depression and improve your relationships Ideas for how to feed each of your five senses Why you might be “touched out” but also feel sensually parched Show notes for Episode 36 Connect with Doña on Instagram Get the Get Back In Control Of Your Life workbook and get regular updates about the podcast

If your experience of motherhood feels often harder than you expected or imagined it would be, you aren’t alone. If you have been feeling like you lost track of your real self somewhere in the midst of laundry and homework and doctors appointments, you aren’t alone there, either.     Obviously this is not an episode on now to nurture yourself in business, as recent episodes have been. No, this is me changing directions a bit, with a new focus in my business and on this podcast. Listen now to find out where I’m going, why I’m so excited about it, and what it means for you - especially if you felt like I was describing your life just now.    In this episode   Why I’m changing directions in this podcast and in my business What I’m so fired up about How I can help YOU if I’m describing your life   Show notes for Episode 35 Connect with Doña on Instagram Get the Get Back In Control Of Your Life workbook and get regular updates about the podcast

Have you ever seen your introverted personality as holding you back, especially in a job or how you run your business?   Well, this episode is for you, then. My guest, Nicole Burgess, is a licensed psychotherapist, host of the podcast Soulfilled Sisterhood, and empowerment mentor for introverted professional women. She helps women remove their good girl masks, end people pleasing behaviors and blaze their own soul-filled trail in life. Nicole's mentoring blends the practical with the spiritual to support women in increasing self-confidence and their capacity to handle any challenges they are faced with and a sense of accomplishment as they take the action they know they need to take and see positive results. In this episode:  How being “selfish" can actually make you so much more able to give Why knowing you are an introvert can change how you feel about your work How to rock networking as an introvert (and an HSP) Tips to help you transition from the various roles in your life What is an HSP and how to manage if you are one Why being an introvert is truly a strength, and how to hold on to that in a world that may see it as a weakness  Why you should never use your introversion as an excuse not to do something Why having a small but mighty business might be just perfect for you. Nurturing tips for introverts and HSPs. Show notes for Episode 34 Connect with Doña on Instagram Get the Get Back In Control Of Your Life workbook and get regular updates about the podcast

In this week’s podcast I’m talking about how getting really clear about your priorities can help you feel more in control and successful in your life, too. I’ll share how you can figure out the things you want to prioritize, if you aren’t really sure right now, and I give lots of examples from my own life about how I shift priorities on the fly when circumstances demand it.    In this episode:  What having solid priorities has to do with kicking that persistent feeling of guilt.  Why being clear about your priorities gives you more time and energy. How to figure out what your priorities are - for this year/month/day You know what's important, but there's no room in your life. Now what? What if you have a bunch of priorities?  Show notes for Episode 33 Connect with Doña on Instagram Get the Get Back In Control Of Your Life workbook and get regular updates about the podcast

The work that fits your life best before you have babies is not likely going to be the same as the work that fits best after. Nor is is likely to look like the work that fits best when you kids get older, or after they move out. That doesn’t mean it has to be a different business altogether, but what you and your family needs in those seasons is going to be really different.    But how do you navigate those changes? How do you know what opportunities and ideas to pursue at any time, and how do you trust that if you don’t follow an idea, that you aren’t making a mistake?    Stephanie Lee is an artist, teacher, maker, and a mom, who has been navigating this windy path for a couple of decades now. Through all of this, she’s been growing her family while shifting her business to fit her life and her family's needs (both for her time and for her income).  In this episode:  Why boundaries make you more creative, not less The one thing that will get you out of being stuck, every time Why challenges can be a blessing How Stephanie learned to choose which opportunities to follow and which to let pass, when her babies were little (and she’s still using this technique) The technique Stephanie uses - and teaches - for knowing you are always on the right path Show notes for Episode 32 Connect with Doña on Instagram Get the Get Back In Control Of Your Life workbook and get regular updates about the podcast  

Are you one of those people who sets New Year's Resolutions but quit them (or forgotten them) by the end of January? Have you set goals and then not made any progress toward them, and you aren't sure why they feel so hard? You aren't alone! Achieving goals can feel really hard, but that's because most of us are approaching them all wrong.  In this episode: Why you need to deeply connect with WHY you want to achieve a goal A new way to set a goal that will get you where you want to go Three tips to actually achieve your goals The one thing we all forget about goals, and why it is important to remember Show notes for Episode 31 Connect with Doña on Instagram Get the Get Back In Control Of Your Life workbook and get regular updates about the podcast

Who you are is shaped by your culture, your history, your heritage, as well as what you are doing in your life in the present. And our lives, and our businesses, are so much more interesting, rich, and meaningful if we bring all of that history to light and include it in our story. Is who you are fully part of the story you tell of yourself?    This week’s guest, Emily Halpern, is a coach for creative professionals, a classical soprano, and a lover of all things heritage, culture, and food. Her career has taken her from the stage of the New York Philharmonic to the kitchens of Chez Panisse, to the halls of the Tenement Museum, to the adventures of entrepreneurship.For over 15 years, her focus has been consistent: exploring and expressing the practices, attitudes, and ideas that help us to understand ourselves and one another.Whether face to face with clients, on stage, or in the kitchen, her drive to enrich every day with beauty, meaning, and genuine connection is at the core of everything she does.   In this episode:   Going beyond your genetic history and learning the stories of your ancestors  How to find your cultural story - even if you don’t feel strongly connected with your culture How to find the line between cultural exchange and cultural appropriation Learn to talk about why your cultural story enhances your client’s story - and how to use that in your marketing Show notes for Episode 30 Connect with Doña on Instagram Get the Get Back In Control Of Your Life workbook and get regular updates about the podcast

In this first episode of Season 3, where I’ll be talking about how we nurture the work we do in the world, I’m talking about a whole new way of structuring a life and a business, and braiding the two of them together. Whether you are just starting a business or have an established company that just isn’t working quite right for the rest of your life, I’m sure you’ll find some new ideas in this discussion.    In this this episode: You get to decide how to build your own business. It doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s.  What are your non-negotiable? What do you want to achieve and what are you not willing to sacrifice? How I designed my own business to fit my life in this season. Why you need to find the fun and arrange your time so you are having it.  Why a coach or mentor is essential to supporting this new way of being in business. Show notes for Episode 29 Connect with Doña on Instagram Get the Get Back In Control Of Your Life workbook and get regular updates about the podcast Learn how to work with Doña

Do you have things that you want to do, but they just never seem to happen? You put them off, you forget about them, you have a bunch of excuses?    In this episode, I’m going to dig into resistance - the name for why you do that. Why do you resist the things you think you really want to do? It turns out there’s probably a really good reason, but until you spend some time trying to understand the reason, you won’t be able to untangle it, do the thing, or build a better habit to make sure you don’t resist so much in the future.    Learning to understand your resistance is one of the biggest keys in feeing more in control of your life and your time, so it is worth learning about it and practicing it in your life.    In this episode: Fear is there to protect you - but you don’t have to stay stuck Resistance can look like different things - what’s your pattern? Reconnect with your why - give yourself the motivation to do the work of changing Bringing fear out into the open takes away its power preview of season 3 topics, starting in November Show notes for Episode 28 Connect with Doña on Instagram Get the Get Back In Control Of Your Life workbook and get regular updates about the podcast

We all know what stress feels like - the tight jaw, the racing heartbeat, the spinning thoughts. We’ve all probably experienced the side effects - insomnia, headaches, or fatigue, just to mention a few.    But out stress doesn’t just effect us. It impacts the time we spend with our children and it also impacts our children.    In this episode:   How to recognize the signs of stress in both you and your kids. A simple tip to help calm your kids, especially at the witching hour Why you need to prioritize downtime Anna’s 4-step practice to reduce stress and keep it under control.  Anna’s challenge to begin to reduce stress in your life starting today.   Show notes for Episode 27 Connect with Doña on Instagram Get the Get Back In Control Of Your Life workbook and get regular updates about the podcast

Stay-at-home moms who are also introverts face a particular challenge - it can be extremely hard to find any quiet when you live with young kids - and we need quiet. If you find yourself often thinking “I wish my kids would just be quiet, stop talking to me, and stop touching me,” you may be struggling with a need for extra introvert-specific self-care.    In this episode, I share a bit of my own story, finding my way as an introvert and a stay-at-home mother. I also offer a few suggestions for ways that introvert moms can better care for themselves and be more calm, recharged and focused by practicing self-care that gets right at the need for quiet and alone time (even if you have really little kids).    In this episode: what is an introvert and why at-home mothering hard on this personality how to learn your own signals for needing a quiet break five  introvert-specific self-care ideas that you can apply now Show notes for Episode 26 Connect with Doña on Instagram Get the Get Back In Control Of Your Life workbook and get regular updates about the podcast

My guest this week, Mary Baird-Wilcock of the Simplifiers Podcast, did an experiment with her social media business channels in July. She stopped using them, all but Instagram. What she discovered from this experiment, was that in being really intentional with how and where she spent her time on social media, she had deeper, more personal connections, both on and off-line (and spoiler: her business did not tank).  What you’ll hear in this show:   Tips for simplifying every social media platform Why you should share some of your personal life online How to decide how much to share about your kids on social media One simple tip to make Facebook a happier place to hang out How to choose which social media platforms to be active on Show notes for Episode 25 Connect with Doña on Instagram Get the Get Back In Control Of Your Life workbook and get regular updates about the podcast

As we settle into back-to-school season, I’m struggling in the morning. I’m struggling to get up on time, to get us both fed, to not yell in frustration, and to get us to school on time (I’ll admit here that I’m flat out failing on that one).    Are you struggling, too?    This episode will help. This week I dive into morning routines - why you need one and how to go about creating one.    What you’ll get from this episode   why you might want a morning routine and why having routine is important an easy way to develop a customized morning routine why your morning routine might need to start at night tips for gentler mornings Show notes for Episode 24 Connect with Doña on Instagram Get the Nurturing Notes Newsletter and stay in the know

This week I continue the conversation with Brodie Welch about why self-care is not selfish. If you haven't listened to Episode 22, jump back and listen to that before you start this one! In this conversation, you'll hear: The deep value of learning in community, and also recognizing that you are a unique individual. How being honest about your struggles gives other permission to get real, too. Why self-care is a feminist issue. What Qi Gong is, and why you need to check it out. Brodie’s self care practice of doing less   Show notes for Episode 23 Connect with Doña on Instagram Get the Nurturing Notes Newsletter and stay in the know Work with Doña

In over 13 years of clinical practice, Brodie Welch has seen that the people who are willing to move differently, breathe differently, eat differently, interpret life differently, and make time for self-care are the people who really end up feeling dramatically different: healthy, confident, joyful, and free. This week, Brodie speaks to me about why we need to prioritize our own self care, and how putting our own selves on our to-do lists can lead to vibrant, joyful and healthy lives.  In this episode you’ll hear: Why you need to listen to your body closely, and learn to recognize the subtle signs of imbalance. The 5 basic core competencies of self care that will keep you healthy in body and mind. Why you need to hang out with people who have already made the changes you want to make in your life. Why boundaries are an act of kindness and why you need to model them for your kids. What we can do to counteract our cultural yong addiction, and why we need to. Show notes for Episode 22 Connect with Doña on Instagram Get the Nurturing Notes Newsletter and stay in the know Work with Doña

In this episode I get personal about how I’ve been tending to myself in my recent hard season; what’s working for me, where I’ve set boundaries, what I do to nourish myself.    I hope you will hear some ideas here that you can implement in your own life. Ideas that make you think, "Huh, I hadn’t thought of that as self-care!” But it is. It totally is. And the effects will last a lot longer than a smoothie, too.   What you’ll find in this episode:  the secret to how I menu-plan how I’m building my village questions to ask yourself to find out what you really need ideas about how to build your own super personalized self-care practice Show notes for Episode 21 Connect with Doña on Instagram Get the Nurturing Notes Newsletter and stay in the know Learn how to work with Doña

This is the power of telling our true stories, and this is much of what I talk to my guest Kristin Tweedale about this week. Kristin is better known as rukristin on the web, where she is known as a feminist scrapbooker, author of 100 Days Of All About Me, and founder of the Awesome Ladies Project and the Crafty Ass Female podcast.  Kristin knows that the authenticity that comes from telling our real, everyday stories is a kind of self-care, and that it can build connections and community, two things she feels really strongly about. You can tell your stories with pictures and pretty paper (and we talk about that more, too) or you can tell your stories in some other medium. But please, tell them. In this episode you’ll hear: How sharing our stories can bring us together with other people and why we need to tell the hard stories, too. Kristin's struggle with complex headache disorders and how this has helped her focus on her own self-care. How she runs a successful business in only 3-4 hours a day. A whole different way to think about how and why to take selfies. Why rainbow sticky notes from Get To Work Book help Kristin to plan her day so that her to-do list is manageable And, as a bonus, we both got up on our soap box about how important it is to advocate for yourself with your doctor, especially when you have a chronic illness Show notes for Episode 20 Connect with Doña on Instagram Get the Nurturing Notes Newsletter and stay in the know Work with Doña

My guest on the show this week is Christy Tending. Christy is a self-care mentor, activist, writer, and mama who helps rebellious humans become fierce self-advocates and cultivate spirited (and spiritual) lives. She's  been a social justice activist for nearly 20 years, and continues to engage with climate justice and Indigenous rights activism. She's also a mom of a one-year-old. In this episode, you'll hear:  Christy’s story of reaching complete flame-out as an activist, and how she recovered. How to make your self care really personalized, especially if the self-care practices you’ve been trying just don’t feel that great.  How to be an advocate for yourself. How to break out of the perfect mom vs. hot mess mom molds (and just be the imperfect and amazing mom that you already are). How to adjust when the self care that was working for you before suddenly isn't (this one is for you, new moms!) Show notes for Episode 19 Connect with Doña on Instagram Get the Nurturing Notes Newsletter and stay in the know Work with Doña

In this week’s episode of Nurturing Habit, I talked with Caryn Gillen. Caryn is a weight loss coach for powerhouse women who are ready to end the struggle with food and their weight. But why I really invited her to talk with me for this series on self care is because what she teaches about so much MORE than food and weight. It is about how you can transform yourself into the person you want to be, and let the changes that feel so hard just happen naturally. In this episode, you’ll hear: How you can learn to support yourself growing and changing with the same skills that you use to parent your growing children. How to live in contentment with where you are right now. How building an intimate relationship between you and your body can change your relationship with food. Why losing weight - or making any big change - isn’t as easy as just deciding to do it. How asking yourself better questions allows your creative mind an opportunity to solve hard problems for you. A peek into how Caryn structures her business around life with her 3 year old. Why paying attention when you feel jealous can be really valuable. Episode 18 show notes Connect with Doña on Instagram Get the Nurturing Notes Newsletter and stay in the know Work with Doña

In this episode, I got to talk with Tara Whitney, who is an accomplished family photographer. What’s magical about her style of photography is that she deeply sees her clients. You can see that in the photos, and you can hear it in how her clients talk about the experience of being photographed by her. She sees their inherent beauty and individuality. And by her seeing it, she allows them to see it. How does that change people?   Tara and I talk about how photographs can be a powerful tool in shifting the way you look at yourself and feel about yourself, if you are willing. We also got into a bonus conversation about social media and how be unique and authentic. If you struggle with how to stand out of the crowd and be real, while also keeping your private life private, you’re going to love this.   Episode 17 show notes Connect with Doña on Instagram Get the Nurturing Notes Newsletter and stay in the know Work with Doña

Do you consider your body your friend? An ally? Or do you, as so many women do, interact with it more as an adversary? As if your body is troublesome, needs too much, is too much, or looks or feels the wrong way? In this conversation with Valerie Tookes, we explore how befriending our body, treating it as we would a good and wise friend, could change everything. As Valerie says, "Our body is always speaking to us." What might we learn, if we slow down enough to listen and to really learn what it is saying? Show notes Let's connect on Instagram Work with Doña