Really Useful Conversations

After 30 episodes of what I am told is excellent content, Season One comes to a close and I am taking a breather. Chance to pause, reflect and see what we need to have a Really Useful Conversation about next. What do you think??  

For the last 22 years I have been helping managers across every sector to have difficult conversations in the workplace. Whether around poor performance, absence, conduct or capability, managers need to be able to have Crucial Conversations that matter. To celebrate my 22nd Anniversary in business, this episode is all about how to have those conversations - starting from it's original Tough Talk workshop and how it has developed to Crucial Conversations for today's clients. Everyone needs to be capable of saying what needs to be said, but in a way that maintains positive relationships so I hope this helps! https://confidentconversations.co.uk

Conversations can change organisations; develop relationships, improve standards, increase results – conversations can even save lives and this week in the UK, on Thursday 3rd Feb, it is Time to Talk Day. Run by Mind and Rethink Mental Illness,  is the nation's biggest mental health conversation so I thought it only right that this weeks Really Useful Conversations podcast episode should be encouraging more of us to get involved, to get more comfortable with the uncomfortable and contribute to communities, whether in the workplace or socially, where people feel they can talk openly about stuff that is bothering them and feel empowered to get any help they might need and I hope you get lots of value from this podcast. There are conversations that we all need to be having more of.

Covid and the instruction to “work from home” thrust a lot of companies into hybrid working for the first time, with little chance to prepare or set good foundations in place and as hybrid seems to be now much more popular with people, I had a Really Useful Conversation with Gary Cook, author of HR for Hybrid Working, and we talked about what organisations might need to now do differently, how their people policies might need to change and what advice Gary would offer from his extensive research to HR professionals over the next 12 months. I hope you will find the conversation as useful as I did! Please do share with other HR folk if you think they would benefit too and find out more about Gary here www.epichr.co.uk

There is NO science to support the claim that the third Monday in January is the most depressing day of the year HOWEVER there is a LOT of science behind the suggestion that conversations and human connection matter. Can I suggest that you ignore the media hype for Blue Monday, and focus on making it BREW Monday - an excellent opportunity to check in with your team and colleagues and have conversations that matter. If you find that someone is struggling, there is a FREE download on my website that you will find helpful and if you need advice on topping up the resilience and well-being tank, then you will find this episode really useful. Learn about the Pillars of Wellbeing and how, even if we can't change issues that are affecting us, we can build our resilience levels to cope with them.   

Lots of organisations right now are dealing with high levels of absence due to the ongoing challenge with Covid, and many are establishing policies and approaches for dealing with that. The UK Government warned employers to prepare for as much as a 25% absence rate, but whether during a pandemic or otherwise, how should we be managing absence? What conversations should we be having? Why do those conversations matter? Tune in to this week's episode for a useful overview of what the process should be and why it matters, as well as some thoughts about bringing people back to work safely and successfully. Even without the Coronavirus pandemic, we should be skilled and confident to have conversations that matter.

When we struggle with something we often try to hide it, relating struggle with failure and not wanting to accept it, admit it or acknowledge it! If I am struggling am I not coping? Should you not trust me if I am struggling? How comfortable are you at letting me struggle, or do you need to fix it? At the start of a brand new year when people are often focussing on New Year Resolutions and setting goals for the year ahead, what a perfect time to talk to Productivity Ninja Grace Marshall, who is a big advocate of struggling, so much so that she wrote a book about it! Grace suggests that Struggle is the place where the treasure and golden nuggets can be found and that by shying away from it or avoiding it, we are missing the opportunities that really matter. You can find out more about Grace and why struggle matters at – I hope you enjoy our conversation and it gives you some food for thought as we face into a brand new year.

Something of my personal story today, as I had my own period of living with the very uncomfortable and not talking about it.  I make no secret of my very unhappy marriage, where I felt trapped, stuck, controlled and couldn't see a way out – someone who told me that I would never survive without them, couldn't cope, my son would suffer too and so I stayed put for ALL the wrong reasons. And this week is the anniversary of the time when I finally said “Actually no – it's done” …. Reflecting on how things were, how things now are and how things might be – if only we had the courage to say what needs to be said and lead the life that makes us truly happy! Conversations can change and even save lives – Really Useful ones especially. I hope my Twixtmas episode gives you the clarity for 2022 and what needs to be said. Really Useful Resources are available on the website if you feel you need professional help in dealing with unsatisfactory stuff. Take good care x

Our often stereotypical view of someone with a drink problem is the dishevelled homeless man on the park bench with a can of beer in his hand at 10am – we rarely conjure up the image of the nicely presented, manicured and coiffed HR professional who is actually a high functioning alcoholic underneath it all. In this episode I talk to Janet Gourand, founder and leader at Tribe Sober, an international community of people who are enjoying the benefits of a sober life. Janet was indeed once that HR professional – suited and booted and succeeding in the corporate world, yet hiding a drink problem that would cause issues such as almost drowning, being rescued naked by the fire service and completely forgetting episodes of her life. She shares how, as a high functioning alcoholic, a glass of wine every night was the norm, and in fact became much more, and how eventually she had to make a choice. We also talk about how to have a Really Useful Conversation with someone if you are concerned about their drinking habits and how to help them get the help they need; also how to get the help YOU might need if that person is you. For more details about Janet and the work she does, and to get help yourself, please visit

Menopause is so much more than hot flushes and night sweats and if we consider the number of women who struggle with increased risk of stress, anxiety, depression and even thoughts of suicide, we need to be more aware and supportive within the workplace. We need to be aware of the increase in employment tribunals citing menopause as a contributing factor, the number of women who consider quitting their role, and those who struggle with lack of self confidence, inability to focus and concentrate and those who start to doubt their ability to do their job.  The number of women dying by suicide who are of menopausal age has increased, as has the number of employment tribunals - as our awareness and understanding improves, so should the way that employers handle this critical life stage.  We will be hosting an online seminar on this important subject in January and you can find out more details at https://confidentconversations.co.uk/mmh  

According to recent research, over half the employees surveyed said they would welcome a two week lockdown over Christmas to help them deal with their feelings of overwhelm and burnout, caused by the return to the workplace since July 2021. With absence figures running high, employer expectations high, customer expectations higher, 73% of respondents said they were really struggling with "returnism", following a long period away from the workplace due to the Coronavirus global pandemic.  What is causing this? What do we need to be doing about it? Is a two week festive lockdown the answer? Tune in to this week's episode to learn more as we have a Really Useful Conversation about this issue and visit to access free resources to help if this is the case for you.

You can prepare meticulously for a Confident Conversation by having all the facts to hand, researching relevant history, being able to offer specific examples of the topic BUT if your head is not in the right place and your thinking is faulty, it can all go pear-shaped and the conversation gets messy.  As human beings we can experience cognitive distortion, or faulty thinking, such as making sweeping generalisations, jumping to conclusions, even deleting information or facts from our perspective - none of which is helpful, so this week we are addressing that exact issue AND there is a free download on the website to help you work on your own challenges - be sure to grab a copy!

As a big fan of Confident Conversations, I was intrigued to see Helen Frewin's book "Better than Confidence" - and of course I had to ask, what could be better than confidence? Well, as Helen explains to us, confidence is indeed a good thing, but there are simple and effective tools that we can all use that are better than trying to build confidence, and when I got into reading the book, the lady has a point!  Helen is a Business Psychologist, Executive Coach, speaker and facilitator. With 20 years experience, she and I have a lot in common, including our love of Really Useful Conversations, and I feel Helen's Thinking Tools are useful for anyone who is fed up of trying to build their confidence, and is looking for something better! Better Than Confidence is out now, earlier than anticipated, so grab your copy and find out more! 

As a manager you are probably well aware of your duty of care to your team, being able to offer support and signpost to help if needed, have conversations that matter about mental health, stress and other such issues - but what if the one who is in need of help is you? There has been much more focus on employee wellbeing this last year or so, which is great, but what about managers who are caught in the middle? Responsible for supporting their team and ensuring that organisational objectives are achieved - perhaps having to learn how to manage remotely, lead change operationally, look out for everyone else, it can be tough as a manager, leader or business owner and so this Really Useful Conversation is aimed at you and how you might need to take better care of yourself. Self care is not selfish, NOR is it all massages and bubble bath, sandals and candles, but if that works for you, fantastic - if not, then you'll appreciate this episode and the Self Care for Managers Guide that can be accessed through our website . You cannot pour from an empty bottle and if you are not in a good state yourself, how can you possibly support your team?

We know that if conflict arises in the workplace it can cause stress, tension, anxiety. Relationships can be damaged, grievances raised, performance dips and the atmosphere affected. We also know that the longer issues are left and not tackled, the wider and the more difficult the problem becomes. Sometimes both parties get so stuck in their own perspective of the issue that it feels like there is nowhere to go - and people can even fall out over a banana! Our interview with Pete Colby, expert mediator and trainer, from Pragmatism UK, helps us understand the issues, how mediation can help and when we need to use it - if we want to minimise stress, time lost and significant cost to the business. Contact Pete via his website

This week is International Stress Awareness Week and given that stress can negatively impact our health, our behaviour, our performance at work and our relationships with others, it's important that as managers and leaders, we are able to have conversations around this subject that matter. Even more important that as an organisation, we exercise our duty of care and protect our employees from stress and make sure that the workplace is not adding to or even causing someone's stressful experiences. In this week's episode we offer useful advice for managers to keep themselves AND their teams safe - for more details please visit https://confidentconversations.co.uk/stress

Conversations can change organisations, develop relationships, improve results, increase standards - conversations can even save lives, and there are 7 Significant Conversations that all effective managers, leaders, HR professionals and business owners should be able to have, if they are to get the best out of their team. In this episode we take a look at what those conversations are, starting with the Confident Conversation for a newly promoted team leader, all the way through to a Crisis Conversation if a member of your team is struggling with poor mental health or related issues. A fantastic opportunity to make sure your communication as a leader is where it needs to be and get the FREE downloads from https://confidentconversations.co.uk

Menopause will impact around half the UK population directly, and indirectly will impact all of us. Employers risk losing talent and facing expensive employment tribunals for failing to support women appropriately, and this week we hear from Sarah Airey, Head of HR at Biffa, a leading UK waste management company with a predominantly male workforce, who are doing fabulous things around diversity, inclusion and family friendly policies. As many as 1 in 4 women think of quitting their jobs, 90% saying they have no support from their employer. 18th October is World Menopause Day is designed to raise awareness and it's time for more employers to engage in this Really Useful Conversation and take positive steps. Start by downloading our free resource

The theme for this year's World Mental Health Day is inequality - Mental Health in an Unequal World and in this podcast we look at what that means for employers and how they can ensure that the mental health of their employees is protected and appropriate support given when needed, without becoming counsellors or therapists.  Really Useful Conversations about inequality, mental health and developing a great culture within the business - such important issues.

As many as 1 in four women will think about quitting their jobs as a result of having to deal with menopause symptoms, and more Employment Tribunals are citing menopause as a factor, so today we have a Really Useful Conversation, at the start of Menopause Awareness Month, to help employers consider what they need to be doing to support women during this life stage, in order to avoid losing talent, experience, expertise and knowledge and avoid claims of unfair treatment or even dismissal with menopause as the reason.

With a recent media report suggesting an increase in homophobic attacks, how can we truly bring our whole selves to work and do our best work, if it isn't safe to be who we really are? How do organisations create a culture where everyone can be true to themselves and therefore invest energy in their performance, not in pretending? What about the culture? Is Equal Opportunity training just a tick box exercise? My conversation with Rod Webb from Trainers Library is a Really Useful one!

So often when we think about improving conversations, we think about transmission - what to say, how to say it, language, tone, being more engaging, entertaining, witty - we rarely consider the importance of reception - listening! REALLY listening!  A critical skill that we are rarely taught to do but that makes such a difference to our understanding, relationships, connections and trust. Listening can even save lives! For more help in improving your conversation skills, check out our new Stepping Stones to Successful Conversations programme at https://confidentconversations.co.uk/stepping-stones

Every 40 seconds, somewhere in the world, someone dies by suicide. But what can you possibly do about it? This year's theme for World Suicide Prevention Day is "Creating hope through action" and this week's episode will help you understand how you can make a positive difference in your community, without being a mental health expert, counsellor or therapist. Grab a brew, pull up a pew and learn how YOU can make a difference. 1 in 5 people will have thoughts of suicide at some point, if that is you, please DO get the help you need - there are alternatives, I promise you, and there are people who can help. Go to to download a FREE list of Really Useful Resources.  If suicide is on your mind right now, please do reach out - there is ALWAYS another way. you just might need help to find it. Samaritans 116 123 HopeLine UK 0800 068 41 41 Text SHOUT to 85258

This week is World Suicide Prevention Week and to help support the theme of "Creating Hope through Action" we talk to Adele Owen QPM, Greater Manchester Suicide Prevention Programme Manager, about the work they are doing to "Shine a light on suicide" in their community. One in 5 of us will have thoughts of suicide and following a very unsettling year, we want to make sure that everyone knows how to make a difference and where to get the help they might need.  to find out more and to download some Really Useful Resources and access the information referred to in today's episode, go to https://confidentconversations.co.uk/wspd21

This week I am delighted to be joined by Jill Bottomley from the HR Dept. and we talk about conversations that employers are having right now, as we transition back to the workplace, furlough finishes and the potential of redundancy looms. As Jill says, communication is key right now and sadly there are conversations that employers are NOT having that they really need to, so I do hope you will find this episode interesting, whether as an employer, manager, HR professional or even an employee wondering what your rights are. Jill has over 30 years of experience and expertise in the HR arena and as well as offering her clients very pragmatic and commercially focused HR advice, can also provide SME's with funded training around Managing Teams in Changing Times which will help with such issues. You can find out more about Jill here and about the training she provides for SME's. You might also be interested in investing in your own Confident Conversations skills and our new online programme will be available HERE from the 20th September. Take a look and pre-order now to benefit from a discounted launch rate at https://confidentconversations.co.uk/stepping-stones

I noticed earlier this week a report in the media showing mental health referrals have increased in the UK by almost 20% compared to pre-COVID levels. So this week, we're going to have a really useful conversation about mental health.  As leaders, managers and HR professionals, conversations around mental health are very relevant and important. But how do we, as an organisation, support people in the right way?  How do we signpost people so they get the help they need?  What is out duty of care when it comes to mental health?  Listen to the podcast for some really useful tips on how to get started, and click the link below to access some of the resources on my website to help you get started.     Here are the highlights:  {1:06} Mental health issues are on the rise  {3:59} You don't need to be the help  {7:01} Are you okay mate?  {12:59} Build effective relationships with your teams at all times  {15:40} Creating a healthy climate to have difficult conversations  {19:45} Be confident enough to ask the questions     To find out more about Andrea and the Really Useful Conversations she can have with your organisation, visit   And remember to follow the podcast and leave a review. 

You know when we need to say something, or we absolutely need to have a conversation, but we put it off? Perhaps we dither about the effects that conversation might have, or we tell ourselves that we're waiting for the right time. But I promise you, after 26 years of focusing specifically on conversations that matter, there is never a perfect time.  So this week I am talking about the importance of time; the timing, the timeliness, and how much time do we need to allow for conversations that matter? Time can make or break the outcome of that conversation.    Here are the highlights:  {1:32} Time does matter  {3:36} The deafening silence  {4:42} There is never a perfect time, only good timing  {8:10} It's easier to escalate issues than confront them  {12:00} The 'It's only happened once' excuse  {14:25} Get in the right frame of mind  Download the Stepping Stones to Successful Conversations guide too - a fantastic, free resource to help you have conversations that matter, successfully! To find out more about Andrea and the Really Useful Conversations she can have with your organisation, visit   And remember to follow the podcast and leave a review. 

Conversations can change organizations. Conversations can develop relationships, improve standards, increase results. Conversations can even save lives.  I'm keen to encourage more people to get comfortable with the uncomfortable and have conversations that really matter. But how exactly do we do that? How do we get more comfortable?  Where do we get the confidence to have such conversations? That's exactly what we're going to focus on in this week's episode.     Here are the highlights:  {1:38} The vicious circle  {4:03} Everything deteriorates without conversation  {7:26} The first thing to deal with is our own mindset  {12:01} Failing to have those conversations is failing in your role as a manager  {12:57} Understand what the issue really is  {16:09} Preparation helps you speak clear and concise  {18:17} As Bananarama once said...    The free pdf mentioned can be downloaded from my website right here Don't forget to enter the competition for your chance to win some fab launch party give aways:    To find out more about Andrea and the Really Useful Conversations she can have with your organisation, visit And remember to follow or subscribe to the podcast and leave a review. 

One of the conversations I probably spend most of my time training around is the crucial or challenging conversation. And so in this episode I am focusing on those challenges.  As we return to work following a year of high uncertainty many organisations will be faced with their own challenges., and this podcast will help you start to address them in the right way.    Here are the highlights:  {1:39} Attitudes are changing with the times  {6:13} Your patience may be tested  {8:10} All managers worry about difficult conversations  {10:57} If you keep brushing stuff under the carpet it'll trip you  {12:51} Have the courage and confidence to deal with challenging conversations  {17:33} Preparation is crucial    You can access the ReallyUseful Managers' Roadmap here:   Don't forget to enter the competition for your chance to win some fab launch party give aways:    To find out more about Andrea and the Really Useful Conversations she can have with your organisation, visit   And remember to follow the podcast and leave a review. 

In this episode, as we rumble closer and closer to the world opening up and people returning properly to the workplace, we're going to focus on Really Useful Conversations to support people in that return.  In episode one talked about the important of consultation and conversation, and this time we're focusing on another area of conversation which could arise during this period - that of employee wellbeing.   Here are the highlights:  {2:47} People need to safe about going back to work  {5:13} Wellbeing must be a priority  {8:44} Your employees have changed  {11:50} The four F words  {15:06} The Wellbeing Return Action Plan  {18:08} Check in and ask how they're feeling  {20:50} One-to-ones take time but add a lot of value    You can access the Really Useful Managers' Roadmap here: If you need some Really Useful Resources to signpost your people to, grab a list of relevant organisations in the UK here: Don't forget to enter the competition for your chance to win a fabulous selection of swag to celebrate our launch To find out more about Andrea and the Really Useful Conversations she can have with your organisation, visit    And please remember to follow the podcast and leave a review. 

In this episode I want to encourage you to think about, and prepare for, conversations with your teams around the post-Covid transition.   There are lots of organisations right now who are indeed looking at more flexible working options, and I've been working with clients recently who have been looking at what will work best for them going forward.  So in this podcast we look at the conversations you need to be having when considering hybrid working and the expectations of a post-Covid workforce.    Here are the highlights:  {0:53} The call back to the workplace is louder  {3:37} There is a risk of losing talent  {6:01} Enable a better balance for your staff  {10:05} What will hybrid working look like?  {12:54} They just wanted lockers and clean mugs  {15:19} Fulfilling your duty of care  {17:41} There's only so much you can do    You can access the ReallyUseful Managers' Roadmap here: Don't forget to enter the competition for your chance to win some fab launch party give aways:   To find out more about Andrea and the Really Useful Conversations she can have with your organisation, visit And remember to follow the podcast and leave a review. 

Welcome to the Really Useful Conversations podcast. My name is Andrea Newton, and I'm looking forward to sharing with you lots of practical tips, techniques, and insights to help you have conversations that matter.  For the last 26 years, I've been helping organizations to develop the skill and competence to have seven significant conversations. And over the years, across many different industry sectors, I've seen how conversations can change organizations, how conversations develop relationships, increase results, improve standards, and even save lives. But I've also seen how, when a conversation is done badly or avoided completely, the negative impact that can have, even years later.  And so we should never underestimate the importance of really useful conversations and the difference they can make. So please do subscribe and join me every week when I'll be sharing with you some very practical down to earth, no nonsense learning and advice so that you too can have conversations that matter.