Scully Nation: An X Files Rewatch Podcast

This week we are swapping heads and bodies willy-nilly while we discuss the 2008 movie “The X-Files: I Want to Believe”! We're talking poor Scully being Mulder's publicity agent, the inexplicable George W. Bush alien theme sting, the specter of unsafe driving, Mulder's scratchy beard, and most importantly, the return of Ellen Bledsoe! We wonder how serious this break-up is supposed to be, wonder at Scully doing all of her stem cell research on Google, debate whether Mulder's beard is good or bad, and completely forget about the new batch of young, hot agents on the scene. However: Mulder and Scully finally get the invite to Ibiza!Send us an email at scullynationpod@gmail.com or follow us on Instagram!

This week we are pausing and taking a look back at Season 9 as a whole! We review special features, read emails, rank the episodes, share our thoughts on the season, and play a Seinfeld-related game. We're talking our growing love for Kim Manners, Vince Gilligan and his awkward khaki pants, IF NO BASEBALL, Reyes being one small pixel of drama, and Doggett's role in the Korean boy band he will of course be joining now. We theorize about a couples therapist qualified enough to deal with all this, propose the Leyla Harrison-Ellen Bledsoe team-up the people have been asking for, and send off the original series like Chris Carter, with a half-hearted “Wahoo”.Send us an email at scullynationpod@gmail.com or follow us on Instagram!

 This week we are trying to discover the difference between the Seinfeld finale and this X-Files finale while we discuss “The Truth”! We're talking Gothic heroine Knowle Rohrer, how much Mulder loves his corner, Skinner awkwardly third-wheeling and then being coerced into being Mulder's lawyer, wonder how ghosts can give away pieces of paper, and get really excited for a second that we would be seeing Normal Hosteen. We spend a lot of time discussing CSM growing Rapunzel hair, get happy about one more Mulder Yell for the road, wonder how Marita still has her job at the UN, sleep through endless court scene after endless court scene, and feel a shiver go through us at how closely we avoided the George W. Bush deleted scene. Petition to replace the alien head emoji with CSM flaming skull starts now.  Send us an email at scullynationpod@gmail.com or follow us on Instagram! 

This week we are teleporting into Windows screensavers while we discuss “Sunshine Days”! We're talking some patented Vince Burnouts, Michael Emerson: TV Royalty joining the show, 0 days since the last Mulder mention, the theme of abandoning kids when they get boring, and what applications Skinner can put his newfound midair flip skills to. We say goodbye to Helium Vince and Kimberly-Arlene :( , wonder if there's a non-impotent way to shake your fist, try to recall if we know anything about The Brady Bunch, and try not to bully Reyes for… liking a very popular TV show? Feels like throwing stones at glass houses, but what do we know. Stay tuned for our remixed version of “Why is anyone still watching a 30 year old TV show?” It's going to be the hit of the summer. Mark our words.Note: The deadline for submitting questions/comments for our Season 9 recap is Sunday May 11! Send us an email at scullynationpod@gmail.com or follow us on Instagram!

This week we are wrapping up the second child storyline in as many weeks as we discuss “Release”! We're talking Scully teaching her class for once and the real reason she's been avoiding it, Rudolph being able to see shrimp colors, the awkward cycle of weird power moves that never ends, the weird publicity photo of Doggett and his dead son, and how Brad looks like the poster boy of taking bribes from the mob. We all wonder how long Amanda can keep up the cold open bit, meet Doggett's BLONDE-ASS wife, get sad that every FBI Assistant Director is kind of a dud, and pour one out for Brad's (not so promising) career. RIP. He's not dead, but his hopes and dreams sure are.Note: The deadline for submitting questions/comments for our Season 9 recap is Sunday May 11! Send us an email at scullynationpod@gmail.com or follow us on Instagram!

This week we are foisting our alien children off on unsuspecting Wyoming couples while we discuss “William”! We're talking how whimsical Doggett is in this one, how unbelievable it is that Spender could beat Doggett in a fight, the hysterical split diopter shot somehow being upstaged by the zooming eyeball shot, and Skinner refusing to shell out for Lab Results Plus. We wonder why they decided to do this to poor Chris Owens, theorize that it was physically impossible to turn Spender into a Super Soldier, think Doggett and Willy should have therapeutic cry sessions, and wonder what could have driven Scully to give up William, because surely it wasn't just this. Make it make sense!Note: The deadline for submitting questions/comments for our Season 9 recap is Sunday May 11! Send us an email at scullynationpod@gmail.com or follow us on Instagram!

 This week we are wrapping up The Lone Gunmen's story (and lives) while we discuss “Jump the Shark”! We're talking the surprising return of Jimmy and Yves, the real reason why Chuck McGill hates Jimmy McGill, that they couldn't let The Lone Gunmen go without one more shot of Frohike falling face-first in mud, the indignity of Joey Ramone slander, and Yves Adele Harlow's real name drop! We wonder if there will be a Vaping Man in Season 11, freak out about these evil airtight fire doors, think it's hurtful that Yves refuses to do the hand on window thing, and clown on Skinner for a long time because apparently he thought it would be a great idea to bury Byers, Langly, and Frohike in Arlington. It's got to be a prank. Please tell us it's a prank.Note: The deadline for submitting questions/comments for our Season 9 recap is Sunday May 11! Send us an email at scullynationpod@gmail.com or follow us on Instagram! 

This week we are stranding ourselves in a snowy mountain cabin and trying to babysit while we discuss “Scary Monsters”! We're talking Scully's zombie horde of a class and how all she wants is just to eat her sandwich, the return of Leyla, the importance of checking your Blood Car Fax report, find out the fate of Mulder's fish, criticize the verisimilitude of the snow, and enjoy Doggett's continuing beef with kids. We wonder what the mysterious grandma is up to this whole time, get indignant on behalf of Doggett and Reyes, realize that Leyla has authority-less babysitter energy, introduce the Theme Beam, and note that Doggett has no imagination and he's cool with that. We're cooking up a nice Sheriff Soup, so come on down if you're hungry!Send us an email at scullynationpod@gmail.com or follow us on Instagram!

This week we are dodging both serial killers and potentially God while we discuss “Improbable”! We're talking the strangely Italian everything about this episode, how much we adore Ray McKinnon's scowl, Burt Reynolds' charm, the lengths Robert Patrick will go to to avoid being in a silly scene, the probably sarcastic clapping circle for Reyes, and the forty-second shot where we all have to pretend Arlene Pileggi is Gillian Anderson. They thought we wouldn't notice! We derail for a while and try to figure out what NUMB3RS is about, throw tomatoes at all the bad lip-syncing, talk about how important it is for serial killers to name themselves, and feel a ghost walk over our graves about a terrifying deleted scene. We all dodged a bullet.Send us an email at scullynationpod@gmail.com or follow us on Instagram!

This week we are avoiding our shadow-selves while we discuss “Underneath”! We're talking the return of Doggett's articles, how apparently Scully is the only one around here who can solve cases, how absurd it is that a guy named Damon Kaylor is somehow not the killer, whether the Beardo Weirdo is a Shel Silverstein creation, and workshop “cyclepaths” as a concept. Is this anything? We dunk on Doggett's old partner Dunk, discuss the relationship between necks and stress, theorize that Doggett might solve more cases if he covered himself in sticky tape and carried around a big net, and notice that these New York accents are getting stronger by the second. And remember: I'm not rich, my parents are. That's why I've inherited their giant mansion in Brooklyn :)Send us an email at scullynationpod@gmail.com or follow us on Instagram!

This week we are wandering the halls of a ghostly hospital while we discuss “Audrey Pauley”! We're talking whether or not Doggett could love a cat, if this episode is anti-organ donation, that they're really forcing the Doggett-Reyes lovelorn gazing, how much we hate Steven and his stupid little pajamas, and how messed up it is that everybody is ready to start chopping up Reyes at a moment's notice. We side-eye Reyes' super-real “parents” “from Mexico City” (yeah, right!), boo the longest death scene in TV history, count down the days until we see our beloved Ellen Bledsoe again, and celebrate Reyes becoming Falling Guy. You wouldn't download a DVD, unless you're in Antarctica.Send us an email at scullynationpod@gmail.com or follow us on Instagram!

This week we are chasing alien cults across the Canadian border while we discuss “Providence”! We're talking Doggett sleeping his way through this entire episode, wondering why on earth Skinner sucks so badly now, shake our heads at everyone suddenly converting to Christianity out of nowhere, lament that Reyes has nothing to do these days, and marvel at the fact that somehow, through it all, Brad is the only one in the cast keeping it real. How did this happen? We posit that Baby William is the Boss Baby prophesied in scripture, wonder if Mulder is finally fulfilling Clyde Bruckman's prophecy, figure that Father McCue is somehow to blame for all of this, and struggle to understand what exactly the show is saying about aliens and religion these days. Does anyone understand? I'm Episcopalian! I don't get it!Send us an email at scullynationpod@gmail.com or follow us on Instagram!

This week we are smuggling alien writings on our cool motorcycles while we discuss “Provenance”! We're talking Neal McDonough's icy blue eyes, how much we miss Machete Scully, that Elvira should be Kersh's secretary, how boring Toothpick Man is compared to bad ol' CSM, trucker zoomies, and that Skinner just kind of sucks now. We reaffirm that you shouldn't smother your kids with a PSA, object to the word ‘rubbings', struggle to piece together the plot, and laugh at Doggett getting run over in a really silly way.Send us an email at scullynationpod@gmail.com or follow us on Instagram!

This week we are untangling our reincarnated souls and their crimes while we discuss “Hellbound”! We're talking our excitement about the inclusion of some coal mines, that Doggett has apparently seen TONS of skinned bodies in New York (tons!), Sweet Willy teaching himself how to make mac ‘n' cheese and cut stock market deals, and discuss whether or not Doggett and Reyes can actually solve a case without Scully. We wonder why Doggett is touching all this evidence all the time, lovingly tease Reyes for wandering around with her unhelpful soulful feelings, get worried about Central Park's lantern-body redecoration, and wonder when exactly Scully is going to actually do the job she's being paid to do. Wise words from Doggett: Picking your victim because of their birthday is the very DEFINITION of a serial killer!Send us an email at scullynationpod@gmail.com or follow us on Instagram!

This week we are wandering the Mexican desert without our memories while we discuss “John Doe”! We're talking drug lord charm bracelets, our new fave the Mexican Cigarette Smoking Man, whether Doggett is experiencing a hangover from Skinner's New Years party, get some Reyes lore dropped on us, and the return of yellow Mexico lighting. How else will we know where we are! We wince a little at Reyes' accent, wonder what ideas were noodling around Vince's head, get sad that they destroyed Mulder's apartment set, and see Doggett's wife for the first time. Just remember, if you're trying to communicate across a language barrier, try this one: Soy ha-ha?Send us an email at scullynationpod@gmail.com or follow us on Instagram!

This week we are checking our 90s emails while we discuss “Trust No 1”! We're talking the Windows Movie Maker montage that starts this episode, go into hysterics about the melodramatic email, celebrate the return of Terrance Quinn, get excited about more bad Scully driving, and wave at tiny Mulder as he runs on and off the screen. Hopefully he's on to better things. We wonder where that second baby disappeared to, speculate that the Shadow Man was one of Mulder's assigned secret agents, laugh at super-soldiers zooming into quarry walls, and ridicule Dearest Dana, as is right.Send us an email at scullynationpod@gmail.com or follow us on Instagram!

This week we are standing still and letting ants crawl all over us while we discuss “Lord of the Flies”! We're talking yet another Kim Manners bug episode, the very-bizarre and distracting Skyrim music, the star of the episode Dr. Rocky Branzino, and welcome Aaron Paul as a proto-Jesse Pinkman onto the show. We mansplain Syd Barrett to each other, think it would be more fun if Doggett loved The Dumbass Show, wonder how furiously Vince Gilligan was taking notes behind the scenes, and get excited about Brad hanging out with Skinner. And remember these wise words from Doggett: The bugs are gone! They're gone!Send us an email at scullynationpod@gmail.com or follow us on Instagram!

This week we are hopping between parallel universes while we discuss “4-D”! We're talking the unexpected delight of Skinner and Brad's team-up, Doggett's favorite Polish sausage stand (do NOT call them hot dogs), how Monica's favorite move is wiping mustard off people's chins, and spend a truly ridiculous amount of time debating how long you can leave chicken sitting out. Honestly, it's like half the episode. We talk Brad taking notes from Skinner on how to be bitchy, how much Skinner loves pulling the plug on beloved team members, congratulate Doggett on his comedic timing, and wonder if we've ended up in the We're Done Here parallel universe. A special highlight to Skinner's best line yet: Say hi to mama.Note: Please check out our guest spot on That Nostalgia Show's “Humbug” episode, and then check out the rest of their back catalog!Send us an email at scullynationpod@gmail.com or follow us on Instagram!

This week we are decoding secret demonic messages while we discuss “Daemonicus”! We're talking how disgusting it is to cheat at Scrabble, Professor Scully, how much quippy Doggett really doesn't work, the continuing saga of Scully emailing and driving, and how apparently Robert Patrick can't remember his lines because of his fear of demons. Sure, buddy. We lose our minds a little bit at Doggett's embarrassing theory, get grossed out because of all the vomit, wonder exactly how messy Reyes' car is, and sigh a lot because apparently Doggett is in love with Scully. So is everyone, man, you're not special!Send us an email at scullynationpod@gmail.com or follow us on Instagram!

This week we are uncovering what must be the two-dozenth secret conspiracy at the FBI while we discuss “Nothing Important Happened Today II”! We're talking how you just can't tell your coworkers to zip it and cooperate, Brad and his squeaky chair, whether or not Scully is on quaaludes, how instantly hateable Brad is, and how the writing staff were really proud of their little tagline. We discover that Doggett can apparently just un-fire himself, wonder whether Skinner is going through nanobot withdrawal, laugh at the nightmare fakeout, and realize that of course Kersh is a hat guy. Phrase of the week: A little bureaucratic pimp job. You can't just say that, Doggett!Send us an email at scullynationpod@gmail.com or follow us on Instagram!

This week we are taking a swim with Lucy Lawless while we discuss “Nothing Important Happened Today I”! We're talking Doggett and Reyes tummy sleepers lore, how much Cary Elwes is struggling his way through that American accent, how disgusting it is to stick your nasty fingers into your whiskey glass, how HR uses Mulder and Scully as a cautionary tale of workplace romance, and that The Lone Gunmen were let out of their government dungeon. We get scared of all the first names being tossed all over the place, celebrate Rowdy Held the baby actor, wonder what it is about slicked-back blonde hair that turns you evil, and have a heated debate over whether or not Scully called her baby Sweet Willy. Mulder's a deadbeat dad, Scully abandoned Reyes in her hour of need and kicked Doggett out of her life, and Skinner is being a whiny loser about breaking into a top-secret facility. Tough look for our heroes this week!Send us an email at scullynationpod@gmail.com or follow us on Instagram!

This week we are doing something a little different and taking a look back at Season 8 and The Lone Gunmen as a whole! We argue about whether or not sloughing off all your skin would be relaxing or not, add Chris Owens to the Famous Chris ranking (naturally), wonder if we need to do a T2 bonus episode, discuss the pros and cons of Mulder and Scully as parents, and have a very controversial ranking of “Patience”. We rank the episodes, recommend a few The Lone Gunmen episodes, answer emails and questions, assemble a bingo card/drinking game for listening to our podcast, and each assemble our own Topgolf Fantasy team and pit them head to head. It gets pretty intense.Note: Check out our Topgolf Fantasy team poll on Instagram on December 5!Send us an email at scullynationpod@gmail.com or follow us on Instagram!

This week we are joining an alien cult to witness the birth of Scully's baby while we discuss “Existence”! We're talking aliens parachuting out of a ship in race cars like in The Fast and the Furious, Skinner getting karate chopped in the head in the goofiest way possible, whether or not we're still on the Crane Train, how Doggett's Topgolf crew has been defecting all year, how this is Reyes' fourth rodeo, and the ridiculous amount of Baby Jesus references. We discuss Mulder warning Doggett about secret informants, wonder what The Lone Gunmen got Scully as a gift, and (some of us) get sad that they massacred our boy! Also: welcome to yet another William in a long line of Williams. You were apparently named after Scuba Bill and nobody else.Send us an email at scullynationpod@gmail.com or follow us on Instagram!

This week we are wrapping up The Lone Gunmen while we discuss “The Cap'n Toby Show” and “All About Yves”! We're talking your classic hot dog mascot costume mixup, how grim it is that Jimmy is now living in their creepy warehouse with them, sexy spy fights, how we simply must stop making fun of Langly's hair, and how we are now massive fans of the half-man half-crab Clarence the Crab. We have a hot debate on whether Morris Fletcher is fun to hate or just hateable, get sad that our Kimmy banishment didn't work, get excited about the John Gillnitz cameo, want to see Fletcher really sleazing up a Backroom Boys meeting, wonder whether we'd rather spend a day with Fletcher or Kimmy, and get kind of sad that the show finally came into its own in the last episode. To be continued, my ass!Note: Please submit Season 8 and The Lone Gunmen questions by Friday November 22nd!Send us an email at scullynationpod@gmail.com or follow us on Instagram!

This week we are attending a species reveal party for Scully's baby while we discuss “Essence”! We're talking Margaret and Scully getting into mortal combat, karate chop decapitation, fake “friends” and “family” at this baby shower, Doggett conducting Doggett Activities (watching NASCAR and cleaning his gun), the strengthening evidence of Mulder's cat energy, and wonder who can look more sad: Mulder or Doggett? The answer may surprise you. We cheer on the awkward evidence guy, wonder whether Reyes is just able to fast travel now, wonder whether Scully had a special evening with Zeus himself, debate just how long Krycek would have stood in that hallway, get really excited about Agent Crane and his radical airport controller moves, and lose our minds about Mulder pulling out of a parking spot. It has to be seen to be believed.Note: Please submit Season 8 and The Lone Gunmen questions by November 23rd (or 23th)!Send us an email at scullynationpod@gmail.com or follow us on Instagram!

This week we are infiltrating a tango competition and tracking down blackmailing brothers while we discuss The Lone Gunmen episodes “Tango de los Pistoleros” and “The Lying Game”! We're talking baby boy Schnauz, Frohike's Miami trauma, how the only excitement these boys get is playing catch with toilet paper, how Ella summoned Kimmy back into existence, the Frojack, and secret tango pasts. We welcome back Skinner: the real star of the show, note that Byers has a type (mysterious blonde women with ugly sunglasses), theorize that Doggett is a big ellipsis guy, get really scared of Jimmy in a Skinner mask, celebrate Ally Byers, and answer the age-old question of whether Skinner would sleep with his clone. Also, we celebrate the show giving us the greatest Skinner line of all time: I'm taking your computer and shutting off your internet service. This is going to be the next big X-Files meme. Mark our words.Note: Please submit Season 8 and The Lone Gunmen questions by November 23rd (or 23th)!Send us an email at scullynationpod@gmail.com or follow us on Twitter and Instagram!

This week we are hanging out with annoying coworkers in dank tunnels while we discuss “Alone”! We're talking how Doggett was ruined by the X-Files in only a few short months, how regifting really loses its charm after the fourth or seventh time, whether there's a radon leak in the basement office, that Leyla easily could have been another Krycek, how Doggett is always getting himself into Looney Tunes situations, and how we're mostly excited that we are continuing the travel expenses storyline. It's what the people truly want! We are bankrolling Images of Mulder, this summer's hot new coming-of-age drama, getting excited about the lizard turning people into juice boxes, enjoying funemployed Mulder, and how there's only so much more passing the baton that we can take. Mostly we're just thrilled at the confirmation that Mulder and Scully do need to be dragged away from work by their fingernails. Canon!Note: Please submit Season 8 and The Lone Gunmen questions by Saturday November 23rd!Send us an email at scullynationpod@gmail.com or follow us on Twitter and Instagram!

This week we are for some reason breaking into maximum-security prison and hunting down grizzly bear poachers while we discuss The Lone Gunmen episodes “Maximum Byers” and “Diagnosis: Jimmy”! We're talking Jimmy being put on death row for impersonating Elvis, how we didn't know Byers was capable of bullying anyone, our favorite character Stronk, Steve Martin's possible culpability in this evil scheme, and that Jimmy would definitely be a wife guy, and it's strange that he hasn't been snatched up already. He's hot and dumb and rich! We worry about Langly getting frostbite through his 42 t-shirts, get into a death match over candy, get put off by Marilyn the sexy evil nurse, laugh at Byers' super-serious bear trauma, and how messed up it is to let your eyebrows fall off into your patient's open wounds. And just a PSA: if candy is literally falling out of your pockets, you know you have a problem.Send us an email at scullynationpod@gmail.com or follow us on Twitter and Instagram!

This week we are jumping off an oil rig in slow-motion while we discuss “Vienen”! We're talking the show's triumphant return to Boat X-Files, Bo Crowder's surprise appearance, whether or not the Zodiac Killers is an open X-File, how much Mulder and Doggett hate each other, Skinner not being able to resist eating some delicious caramels off Kersh's desk, Mulder's undeniable cat energy, and whether Scully is busy doing a bunch of pranks when she's teaching at Quantico. We wonder why nobody seems to notice that Mulder does not give a shit anymore, enjoy Mulder and Doggett's matching outfits, worry about Scully going into labor as a result of dismay at Mulder's actions, explore Amanda's troubling work situation, and yet again wonder about Kersh and Skinner's whole deal. New drinking game: take a shot every time Scully flips that sheet off the body to shock somebody.Send us an email at scullynationpod@gmail.com or follow us on Twitter and Instagram!

This week we are entering a low-resolution virtual reality and helping chimpanzees learn Shakespeare while we discuss The Lone Gunmen episodes “Madam, I'm Adam” and “Planet of the Frohikes”! We're talking the running bit of The Lone Gunmen newspaper being found in the trash, whether or not Jimmy would be jealous of Mulder's existence, Frohike getting into a beef with a child, finding goo in EVERY crevice, Yves being TLG's emergency contact, that evil scientists can be wives too, and get really excited about the star of the show Maniac Marvin. We check in on Yves playing the Sims, get inspiration from a pro wrestler-themed wedding, wonder where we can sign up for the Monkey Liberation Army, note how Thomas Schnauz really got nepo-friended along in his career, and lament Ned Ryerson's lack of a Blockbuster card. I mean, are you even alive if you don't have a Blockbuster card?Send us an email at scullynationpod@gmail.com or follow us on Twitter and Instagram!

This week we are taking our faces off to reveal a tinier fiery face while we discuss “Empedocles”! We're talking Reyes' girl potential, comfy Scully, how dangerous it is to put two believers on one case, Jeb!, how much we enjoy how much Doggett and Mulder hate each other, and think it's suspicious that Skinner didn't show up to Scully's hospital room. We do a lot of bad Batman voices (sorry in advance), wonder whether Mulder might actually be a ghost, try to stop Doggett from looming over Scully and having creepy visions, wonder whether Johnica could be a thing, debate the importance of an Evil Vaccine, and support Scully while she demands that Mulder be nice to Doggett, her only other friend. Also, this is serious business this week, because this is a case with some phenomena. What kind of phenomena? You'll have to listen to find out.Send us an email at scullynationpod@gmail.com or follow us on Twitter and Instagram!

This week we are seeking out water-powered cars and being ill-equipped to take care of babies while we discuss The Lone Gunmen episodes “Like Water for Octane” and “Three Men and a Smoking Diaper”! We're talking how Byers isn't capable of carrying heavy boxes, question why Jimmy is doing all of their grunt work, add another Robe Wife to the collection, point out Langly's cow trauma, and admire TLG's cute little catsuits. We watch Langly go full cartoon mouth, realize that Byers was Suit Guy, get sad because Jimmy doesn't know how to lick envelopes, laugh at yet another William, get scared of a bizarre kitchen appliance, and roll our eyes a lot at this whole baby storyline. Aren't we getting enough of that on the main show?Send us an email at scullynationpod@gmail.com or follow us on Twitter and Instagram!

This week we are trying our best to get reinstated to our jobs while we discuss “Three Words”! We're talking our triumphant return to the Mulder-only plot summaries, how much we've come to love Kersh and his evil ways, how Scully will still be working cases while she's in labor, how much Doggett misses his pull tab case, and how much Mulder hates Doggett right off the bat. We laugh at Knowle Rohrer and the most suspicious hoodie of all time, how Scully is BESIDE HERSELF apparently, whether Skinner and Kersh take bets on their agents, that Doggett doesn't know what a firewall is, and that Scully's baby will happily help her threaten people. And some encouragement to take you through the week: Put a rise in your Levi's.Send us an email at scullynationpod@gmail.com or follow us on Twitter and Instagram!

This week we are adding another member to the crew and breaking into old women's houses while we discuss The Lone Gunmen episodes “Bond, Jimmy Bond” and “Eine Kleine Frohike”! We're talking the ongoing motif of humiliating poor Tom Braidwood, whether or not Yves has a fake British accent, how much we love the evil henchman Mr. Luscious Lips and his signature move of kissing each bullet he shoots, how Langly has no idea how to clean anything, and say hello to Jimmy Bond. We are on the hunt for a secret Nazi baby, wonder where they got the funds or technology for the Mission Impossible masks, mourn the lack of a makeover montage, wonder if Mr. Luscious Lips disappears in a cloud of cologne, and wonder whether it's funny to stare at an old woman's ass. And wise words to remember: Never look a gift himbo in the abs.Note: We goofed up the audio this week, and so unfortunately it sounds like we're recording from a very deep well. Sorry about that, and back to the crisp audio you love next week!Send us an email at scullynationpod@gmail.com or follow us on Twitter and Instagram!

This week we are exhuming dead bodies and redefining the spa experience by sloughing off our entire bodies while we discuss “Deadalive”! We're talking the dangers of Scully's membrane rupturing from scary news, how excited we are about the return of the nanobots, how Doggett embodies the “if shit sux hit da bricks” meme, wonder why exactly they're burying Mulder in North Carolina, and do some star chart and org chart analysis to figure out what Kersh's deal is. We get embarrassed by Skinner playing keepaway with Krycek, realize that first names can be incredibly threatening, get excited about Skinner and Doggett's first physical altercation, find it beautiful that everyone wants to pummel Krycek within 5-10 minutes of meeting him, and mourn poor Doggett and all the third-wheeling he will be doing now that Mulder is back. The man doesn't know what he's in for! And the one thing we know for sure: Mulder's urge to bully Krycek truly could pierce the veil of death.Send us an email at scullynationpod@gmail.com or follow us on Twitter and Instagram!

This week we are spending some time with the boys while we discuss The Lone Gunmen “Pilot”! We're talking how we are living the darkest future of this show, how strange it is that The Lone Gunmen still don't seem to care about Mulder's death, how right it is that Frohike still has a VW van from his hippie days, how apparently the entire crew hates poor Tom Braidwood now, how Byers has perma-baby face, and of course, the long-awaited “closely averting 9/11” plotline. We add Papa Byers to the Bad Dad Club, get some PTSD flashbacks to First Person Shooter, get excited that Langly wore a tie to the funeral, and debate whether there can be any pilots on old-timey shows. This is our warning to you: Be very careful when walking across wet carpet!Send us an email at scullynationpod@gmail.com or follow us on Twitter and Instagram!

This week we are trying to recover Mulder from a Nike Cult while we discuss “This Is Not Happening”! We're talking how Theresa Hosey is the original Grunge Teen, how it's dangerous to let Doggett emote on a plane, that Skinner may not be helpful in this investigation but he does have a great chest to cry into, how Scully and Skinner are like under-socialized dogs meeting a new dog at the park, and celebrate that Annabeth Gish has finally arrived! We worry that Doggett is getting outnumbered by believers, discuss Mulder's future as a medical skeleton, wonder why Skinner didn't just follow the trail of spleens Mulder left behind him after the UFO, and cheer on Richie Slay. Listen, we tried valiantly not to laugh at Scully's “Nooooo!!!” because it is a sad moment, but we don't quite make it.Note: The Lone Gunmen coverage starts next week and will be interspersed with the rest of The X-Files Season 8. Send us an email at scullynationpod@gmail.com or follow us on Twitter and Instagram! 

This week we are hoping a government conspiracy hasn't gotten involved in Scully's pregnancy again while we discuss “Per Manum”! We're talking how we can no longer ignore the fact that Scully is pregnant no matter how hard we try, wonder where Mulder kept Scully's ova this entire time (hopefully not his freezer next to the ice cream), note that Scully and Doggett's icy-blue eyes are too scary when combined, how Scully would love to reproduce asexually if she could, and how Doggett needs a big net to catch Mulder. We laugh at Scully's intense commitment to not letting Doggett know a single personal thing about her, how Dr. Parenti's name as an OBGYN is a little on the nose, shake our heads at Scully and Skinner being mean girls to Doggett, and pause the podcast when we see a mouse in our house. New cutesy phrase stand-off: Maybe Baby vs. Out of the pickle and into the brine.Send us an email at scullynationpod@gmail.com or follow us on Twitter and Instagram!

This week we are tracking an infectious disease through the Boston subway system while we discuss “Medusa”! We're talking the very-real Jason Staham cameo, how Dr. Kelso from Scrubs will keep these trains running come hell or high water, wonder if it's worth it to get infected by flesh-eating creatures if it means you can catch your train home on time, how Doggett is definitely a lover of the New York subway and as a result hates the fair city of Boston, and laugh at a Hazmat team running away from Scully in a brightly-lit hallway. We celebrate the return of the best kind of Scully yelling, get excited about robot sniffers, wonder where this strange tunnel boy came from, disapprove from the questionable service Dump-A-Kid, and wonder why this episode is called Medusa, exactly. We also thank Doggett for saying what we've all known to be true: Scully's the boss.Send us an email at scullynationpod@gmail.com or follow us on Twitter and Instagram!

This week we are looking into troubling secrets and barfing creatures while we discuss “The Gift”! We're talking whether or not Scully has any hobbies, how there's no way Skinner reads any of their case reports, some Geico Caveman kissing ASMR, and how Mulder is screaming at witnesses. He's back, baby! We're happy to see Mulder, but we're troubled by his actions, and isn't that just like coming home? We discover that Skinner troublingly doesn't know Mulder at all, how much Mulder hates wife-eaters, we check in on the Man Bat, we wave our cowboy hats around as Doggett gets into a stand-off, and we demonstrate our dedication to actively ignoring both of the major storylines in this season. Our powers of denial are stronger than Scully's allergy to sharing details of her personal life. Aww… Euthanasia!Send us an email at scullynationpod@gmail.com or follow us on Twitter and Instagram!

This week we are avoiding squeaky carts in public bathrooms while we discuss “Badlaa”! We're talking Doggett's ever-deepening New Yahk accent, how Scully is always late to the scene because she has to exchange insurance information with all the cars she's hit, sloppy vampires, how Scully is terrified at being the believer, that Skinner would make a great test proctor, and how it only took us ten episodes to create an absolutely unrecognizable version of Doggett in our minds. Gemini King Skinner took at least two seasons to develop. We admire Chuck's luscious 70s locks, suspect that Mulder may have Gone Guy'd himself, puzzle over the plot for a while, wonder where Chuck's journey takes him after this, wonder if Doggett is planning a bachelor party, and wonder how long it took Scully to clean out that alien mug. Also, we're flipping over our factory sign: 0 Days Since Scully Shot a Kid.Send us an email at scullynationpod@gmail.com or follow us on Twitter and Instagram!

This week we are turning into some kind of metal man while we discuss “Salvage”! We're talking why you can't blame everything on Gulf War Syndrome, how Doggett gets scared when Scully starts talking about the paranormal, our favorite extra who gets a little scared of a stick, how you have to shave lest you turn into a metal Chia Pet, and Doggett's Boy Scout knife. We point out how much it would suck to get your head bowling ball'd, the truly bizarre pro-corrupt business practices stance this episode takes, how Doggett is immune to metal disease, and wonder why Scully has gotten nothing to do practically all season. The only thing deeper than Scully's neurosis about sharing her emotions is Doggett's New Yahk accent.Send us an email at scullynationpod@gmail.com or follow us on Twitter and Instagram!

This week we are staring through walls to look at Hollywood rats while we discuss “Surekill”! We're talking Terence O'Hara and his telescoping eyes, maybe settle on a supremely-silly team name for Doggett and Scully, boo at Uncle Jack's appearance, talk about the importance of having an attack child on your side, the real story of Howard Gordon's departure, and how much Scully cares about safety first, but only for her. We note Doggett's excitement over drug rip-offs, the exciting reappearance of Craddock Marine Bank, do some investigation to see if James Franco is in this one, shake our heads at Doggett's anti-twin prejudice, and get really excited about a giant lighter for a while. Listen. Our joys are simple but sincere.Send us an email at scullynationpod@gmail.com or follow us on Twitter and Instagram!

This week we are reluctantly opening our third eyes while we discuss “Via Negativa”! We're talking the excess of sleepy FBI agents in this episode, Doggett's Golf Guys dropping like flies and how it's starting to get a little suspicious, Skinner starting drama and Doggett weathering it, how Scully is in the hospital from the stress of being a believer, how much we love how much of a jerk Kersh is, and how after all these years The Lone Gunmen are still Mulder's friends, not Scully's. We get a little jump-scared by Doggett's sad wet eyes, propose a team-up between the table slaw and the chili slide, talk about Skinner prepping for his New Year's party, and how exciting it is that Scully is finally taking some PTO. There's a first time for everything. Also, new tongue twister has just dropped: Agent Angus Stedman in a Stetson.Send us an email at scullynationpod@gmail.com or follow us on Twitter and Instagram!

This week we are moving backwards through time and learning valuable lessons while we discuss “Redrum”! We're talking whether Doggett and Martin are Top Golf buddies, Gillian Anderson taking naps on that salmon plank between takes, whether lawyers are really allowed to be that sassy in the courtroom, Danny Trejo and the spider's beautiful friendship, and what REALLY happened to Doggett's son. We have a dramatic brain wave of memories of the SyFy show Eureka, we know Scully is delighted to be pulled out of bed in the middle of night just like old times, we wonder if Doggett would like Memento, and we note that there are a lotta wife guys on the writing team. Also: If I start moving backwards through time and have to attend a court hearing to see if I murdered my wife, just make sure I skip that freakin' meeting.Send us an email at scullynationpod@gmail.com or follow us on Twitter and Instagram!

This week we are searching for little ghost boys and ignoring our second child while we discuss “Invocation”! We're talking how only sad, wearied moms wear sweaters, the teacher penguin huddle, Doggett's own Silly Science Corner moment, how Scully cares about proper procedure all of a sudden, how Ronnie's favorite activities are leaving and arriving in his car, and how you just can't go around bullying traumatized kids by stealing their beloved dinosaur backpacks. Doggett, you're on thin ice. We spend a lot of time hating on the police psychic's discount Shawn Spencer energy, but then make up for it with our love of the weird sheriff, note the ghost boy's Tim Robinson energy, and say goodbye to Scully as she just kind of wanders off into the woods at the end of this episode. Bye, girl, we'll miss you!Send us an email at scullynationpod@gmail.com or follow us on Twitter and Instagram!

This week we are avoiding slug-god cults in the desert while we discuss “Roadrunners”! We're talking how sad it is that there's unidentified goo around and nobody to lick it, ongoing developments with Doggett and his pull tab case, how Scully is really committed to keeping Mulder's spirit alive by becoming Mulder, have a heated debate over whether burning to death or getting invaded by a slug parasite is a worse way to go, and enjoy how little Scully even bothers to pretend to believe these people. We propose a T-shirt idea of a banana slug making a little kissy face that says THE SECOND COMING, get sad that yet another state has been ruined for Scully, know in our hearts that Doggett would absolutely inhabit an Applebee's, and note that it's sad when a parasite god doesn't even want you as a host. Also, if a creepy man in the desert says “We're just trying to keep the modern world at bay”, RUN.Send us an email at scullynationpod@gmail.com or follow us on Twitter and Instagram!

This week we are dodging giant bat-creatures while we discuss “Patience”! We're talking Doggett doing his best to horn in on the Flashlight X situation, spend a lot of time trying to figure out a team name for Scully and Doggett, boo Detective Misogyny, warn people away from the scentless phone warranty no matter how reasonably priced, and laugh at poor Scully who is being forced to become Mulder now. We cheer on Doggett and his special newspaper article, check the timetables for the bus to Bat Island, get excited that Scully is having her first experience with an actual coworker, and debate different ways to keep this bat-creature away.Send us an email at scullynationpod@gmail.com or follow us on Twitter and Instagram!

This week we are dealing with a classic “My FBI partner's being impersonated by a shapeshifting alien with ill intent” situation while we discuss “Without”! We're talking how everyone in this episode had a wicked case of heatstroke, how much Kersh loves to enunciate, our new favorite character Agent Walkie Talkie, how Skinner has earned the right to do the flashlight X, and how heartwarming it is that Scully and Skinner get to point their guns and scream at each other again. #CoupleGoals. We laugh at Doggett sneaking a Get Well Soon card to Scully in the weirdest way possible, wonder for the 700th time where Gibson's parents are, Scully having the endurance to jog after a kid on a bike for an entire hour, and one more SCULLAY for the road. Sad face. Half the episode is spent trying to squeeze in a “this Dog(gett) won't hunt” joke, but that's pretty much par for the course.Send us an email at scullynationpod@gmail.com or follow us on Twitter and Instagram!

This week we are trying to find our alien-abducted old partner and throwing water in the face of our new partner while we discuss “Within”! We're talking Mark Snow really banging on those pots and pans, how Falling Guy has turned into Mulder, Scully in her depression-beard era, how Skinner is doing everything humanly possible to get Scully not to be mad at him anymore, and how Kersh is back! That's right, the true hater is back in the building. We theorize whether there's been a third agent working in the basement this entire time, say hello to this Agent John Doggett guy, debate what Scully and Skinner's team name should be, get sad because Mulder has turned into an alien foosball man, and note that Scully is giving Doggett a true orientation into the X-Files by calling him up in the middle of the night and screaming at him. Get used to it, man. And the worst crime this show has ever committed: misspelling Teena's name on her own gravestone! Come on.Send us an email at scullynationpod@gmail.com or follow us on Twitter and Instagram!

This week we are pausing and taking a look back on Season 7 as a whole! We unpack some special featies, do episode rankings, read some listener emails, do some predictions for the future, and play some trivia! Topics of discussion: Tea Leoni's giant rhinestone cross necklace, Gillian fully in director mode, whether or not Mulder will be Alien Skyping into Scully's OBGYN appointments, our new favorite crew member the bug wrangler, urban legends, our abiding love for Machete Scully, and our need for an episode where the Lone Gunmen babysit Scully's baby.Send us an email at scullynationpod@gmail.com or follow us on Twitter and Instagram!