Showing Up

I had the privilege of interviewing my friend Ron Plue and discussing the ins and outs of life, itself, from his vantage point of nearly 91 years. Spiritual development, points of view re: optimism and pessimism and the inevitable losses that come with aging are considered in light of the power of living in the moment. 

I interview author, and friend, Stephanie Clare Smith about her stunning memoir, "Everywhere the Undrowned." The book is writing at its best as it revisits (through lyrical memory/reflection) the images associated with the summer of her abduction/kidnapping as a 14 year-old left alone in New Orleans. Decades later she cares for the cognitively-declining mother who had left her that summer in the first place. This book is not only for "survivors"; it's for anyone who wants to thrive in life with empathy and understanding of how we hurt each other and need each other in the most powerful of ways. Stephanie can be reached through her website, https://www.stephanieclaresmith.com/

Some reflections on The Beatles' song/purported-advice 58 years after. Does it hold up? Was it ever true?Nope.Well, what then? What is needed, and how do you get it?I prefer the words of Procol Harum: "For the answer lies in learning, and in teaching we are taught. There's nothing hidden anywhere, it's all there to be sought." 

13 days later, some reflections begin to come into focus. Regardless of your vote, there are real reasons to be concerned. It is time for all of us to turn into adults once again. 

The long-awaited sequel to the 2020 Election coverage, with our team of ace reporters-and-citizens-in-the-field, including New Jersey correspondant Joe Nolan, Mrs. Kinda Needamap from Coxsackie, NY, Vidar Hageman from West Virginia, and international political scientist and Director of the America Only-Friendship Studies Dept (non-social-media division) in Moscow, Russia, Ms. Marina Upintheskya Hatchaplotnik. Learn what it all seems like in New Jersey, upstate NY, West Virginia and Moscow. And settle in for a long week, or months, following the election...

In this episode, Jerry revisits and reflects on the concept of forgiveness, exploring its complexities and the importance of personal growth. He discusses the limitations of unilateral forgiveness and emphasizes that true forgiveness is a process that requires understanding and personal investment. Jerry also highlights the significance of letting go of past hurts and the need for meaningful change in relationships.

Jerry explores the impact of our familiar and cultural tribes on our ability to connect with others. What this all means for the crazy-time that a national election brings for the next 5-7 months is profound, as people face the choice of either hating people we see as essentially different from us or reaching for connections and enjoying the good things that follow. (What are your thoughts? You can communicate directly with Jerry here: https://www.podpage.com/showing-up/contact/)

After a long hiatus, Jerry Sander returns to the show, with reflections about 2023, where he's been and some hopeful energies for 2024. 

An extraordinary interview with an extraordinary person -- Hans E. Hageman. His lifestory continues to unfold in the direction of working to heal the world. Through his work with people often written off as "too difficult" or too dangerous to embrace Hans continues to inspire the rest of us to go out of our comfort zone. 

Our special guest today -- someone who has never appeared as a guest before -- is author Jerry Sander, previously (and currently) the host of the podcast-in-hiatus (?) Showing Up.In this bracing interview Jerry explains the nearly one year disappearance of Showing Up from his loyal community of listeners and explains what 2021-2022 held for him.His book, The Guyland, an episodic memoir about growing up on Long Island in the late '60's, early '70's, is discussed and, obviously, promoted. 

What if you found out, a lot later in life, that there were some very important things your about your family-of-origin that didn't quite add up?  That there were some important things about the very essence of who you were, and where you came from, that they'd not told you?Author Christine Jacobson went through this experience and wrote about it. It brought her into contact with a side of herself she'd had a dim awareness of, and it didn't come without complications.  Her book, Dancing Around The Truth, can be ordered here: https://www.amazon.com/Dancing-Around-Truth-Christine-Jacobsen-ebook/dp/B08LSNTTLQ/ref=sr_1_1?crid=ZMRYBCY4TQYE&dchild=1&keywords=dancing+around+the+truth&qid=1633993195&sr=8-1

This is the second part of my interview with Don Lattin, author of a nonfiction "psychedelic trilogy" of books about San Francisco, Tim Leary, LSD, MDMA, Richard Alpert/Ram Dass, Aldous Huxley and the resurgent prospect of using psychedlic substances (legally) to assist psychotherapy. Will "psychedelic psychotherapy" come into being as a mainstream, insurance-reimbursable reality within the next few years? Isn't changing consciousness at the heart of what is being attempted with anti-depressants? Or...maybe not.Don writes about the intersection of the spirit, mind, body and consciousness....through the lens of his experience, and reporting about, the psychedelic substances that were heavily demonized in the "War on Drugs." As these come into serious study in the therapy field, now, a reconsideration of what was being attempted, on both the East Coast and the West Coast, in the 1960's is in order. Don can be reached at http://www.donlattin.com/

In which I interview Don Lattin, author of a nonfiction "psychedelic trilogy" of books about San Francisco, Tim Leary, LSD, MDMA, Richard Alpert/Ram Dass, Aldous Huxley and the resurgent prospect of using psychedelic substances (legally) to assist psychotherapy. 

How does the love of music -- and the creative impulsive to change/adapt it -- get transmitted across generations? I interview L.A. musician and producer Josh Shpak about his journey. Learning from jazz masters, from legendary trumpet/trombone player Mic Gillette (one of the original members of Oakland's powerhouse Tower of Power) and a myriad of other influences on both the East and West coasts, Josh has matured into the rare musician who can create a jazz album of depth and unique sonic textures and then turn around and produce pop music that is fresh and contemporary. Here is a YouTube video of young Josh being taught the beginning of "You're Still a Young Man" by Mic Gillette: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A03u7f3t_toand here is the video of Josh being brought ontstage to perform the song, live, with Tower of Power when he was 17 years old: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yVA12k6moz4For more info on Josh's recent projects, visit him at https://www.joshshpak.com/The album, "Astatic," by the Josh Shpak Band, can be found here: https://tidal.com/browse/album/48723029 or on iTunes here: https://music.apple.com/us/album/astatic/1011664021?uo=4&app=music

Three original members of the 1970's South Shore Long Island rock group, Primeval Ooze, reunite for conversation 50 years later. Topics include: what WAS that we did, and had, 1970-1972, what we went on to do in the decades that followed, the evolution of musical taste, and trying to wrap our heads around the fact that the young rock musicians of the past are now grandparents, have their Medicare cards in their wallets and have children and grandchildren who may or may not be interested in tales about the good-old-days. 

In which the discovery of cool is understood via the form of a Farfisa keyboard and the musical company of two preteen rock musicians. Guest interviewee is Marc Blam, the first guitarist welcomed to the finished basement of my suburban Long Island home in 1967. Spoiler alert: two old guys reminiscing. A playlist of relevant music is here:https://music.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL2yLgS45YaWhVXz0IC18jTM3qA0oTm5jt

Further discussion with Dr. Craig Heacock, adolescent and adult psychiatrist and addiction specialist in Colorado, and host of the psychiatric storytelling podcast, "Back From the Abyss."We discuss the uses and abuses of a range of substances -- some of which seem to hold promise for controlled use in the therapy process, and some of which seem particularly designed for recreational use. What is being seen in states that have already legalized recreational use of marijuana? What can be expected in states that have legalized recreational use of some psychedelic substances? And what, if any, are links to depression, anxiety, and/or suicide? What can be gained, and lost, from our interactions with medicines/substances/drugs?

In which I speak with Colorado psychiatrist Dr. Craig Heacock about psychedelic drugs and their potential use as healing agents in therapy. Topics range from the prejudice against these previously-banned drugs, their link to the 1960's and ancient healing techniques. We explore uses and misuses of mood-altering substances, talk some about Timothy Leary, Ram Dass and what Dr. Heacock sees as a potential future for psychedelic drugs legalization. Dr. Heacock is the host of the psychedelic podcast "Back From the Abyss" https://www.craigheacockmd.com/podcast-page/Outro music is by Mitch Sumner; "Jealous of Everyone," from his album "Current" (2020).Hear my interview with him here: https://www.podpage.com/showing-up/current-mitch-sumner/

Mitch Sumner, a young Hudson Valley musician, multi-instrumentalist and singer, is featured, along with his new album, CURRENT. Mitch's music defies easy categorization; it cuts across the decades in its use of sounds, layered harmonies, swooping Hammond organ, hot percussion and dreamlike vocal melodies. Mitch spoke to me about his influences, his formative years and how he puts it all together. https://www.youtube.com/mitchsumnerhttps://www.instagram.com/mitchsumnermusichttps://www.facebook.com/mitchsumnermusicTo buy his album: https://songwhip.com/mitchsumner/current orhttps://mitchsumner.bandcamp.com

Nationwide coverage, featuring correspondents Joe Nolan (New Jersey), Lillian MacKenzie (Virginia), Maureen Gomeringer (North Carolina), prognostic/numbers guy Donnie Illinois (Chicago), Santo Ciccarello (Long Island), Mrs. Kinda Needamap (upstate New York), Jeremy Pouffe (Europe), Anita Fix (Seattle), Vidar Hageman (Virginia), Jill Schramm (from the Minot Daily News, North Dakota), and Marina Upintheskya Hatchaplotnik, Russian political scientist reporting from Moscow on behalf of the America Only-Friendship Studies Dept. (Non-social Media Division).

Utah couples therapist Kristy Gaisford, LCSW and I will be leading a Relationship Boot Camp on November 14th and 15th. We interview each other about what drew us to work with couples, the blessings and the challenges of the work and the how we integrate it into our personal lives. Go to http://www.thesandsoftime.net/workshop-events for detailed info re: the Boot Camp. Or register, directly, at: https://us02web.zoom.us/meeting/register/tZ0lc--hqDIrGNdNhPl_74R1seaoCGpWbVJg

The end of spring and the beginning of summer 2020 seem like a long time ago. It was when we -- a group of white, suburban people, at the suggestion of a black friend -- began to talk about racism: how we knew about it, how we experienced being in the racial majority growing up and what we thought should be done about it now. I interviewed two members of that biweekly Saturday morning group, during the summer of 2020, along with a 20-year old Brooklyn College student (my son) who provides a younger (fresher?) perspective on the same issues.

I interview children's book author Anastasia Higgenbotham -- a brave soul who doesn't flinch from topics adults would rather not discuss -- about the necessary differences between how children and adults process divorce.More about Anastasia can be found here: https://anastasiahigginbotham.com/

A most hopeful discussion with the recently graduated senior class President of Warwick High School, in which experiences around racism, the intersection of conservative, libertarian and liberal democratic values and this country's history are factored in. (Oh yes; country music, too.) Vidar Hageman is a strongly positive voice for a generation of pandemic-graduating high schoolers. As he heads off to college, hear his thoughts re: a honest reckoning with American history, patriotism and the benefits of cutting across political divisions by finding what to respect -- and remind people of -- in all of us.

In which an attempt is made to discuss larger implications of anti-racism work and the discovery is made that you can't talk meaningfully about the politics of it without talking about our lives in it. One woman's (Jamie Munkatchy's) journey from her segregated, white-Anglo upbringing in El Paso, Texas to progressive politics in New York City and the suburbs is highlighted.

Reflections about our country's birthday, growing up white, stories our ethnic-groups-of-origin tell us about ourselves and our country and the blinders we wear when it comes to recognizing, and supporting, black people who've been in this country hundreds of years before us. Contributions Relational Life Therapy can make towards understanding our own racist ways and beginning to move past them.

An interview with California author Mike Chen, about his post-apocalypse novel, "A Beginning at the End"

My guest is Anastasia Shown, a lecturer/global educator who has worked at the University of Pennsylvania and in Ghana, Cameroon & Ethiopa for many years. She joins me for a discussion about racism, the implications of the events of early June 2020 following the murder of George Floyd, in which tens of thousands of people of all races marched and protested in towns and cities across the United States and the world, demanding an end to white supremacy.

A consideration of what is hurting us now, as Americans, with some hints of how to begin on a path of healing. Thinking about the reckoning that is coming.

This episode considers the future as constructed by three sci-fi/dystopian fiction writers; myself (author of CONVERGENCE), Katie Delahanty (author of KEYSTONE), and educator/author Erika Kane (author of SELAH & THE BLOOD BARRENS). What's already come true? Why, and how, can a bleak future be written about when we're in the middle of a fairly bleak present-time? Should we all be writing comedies?For more info:KEYSTONE: https://www.katiedelahanty.com/CONVERGENCE: https://rusa-ie.com/

Pizza is transformative. This episode looks at the effect pizza has had on several people's lives, including Long Islanders and New Yorkers. Discussion of regional variations of pizza are included, but the focus comes back to how involvement with pizza transforms one man's life and brings about business opportunities that he could only have barely imagined as a hard-working 15-year-old. The self-soothing nature and timelessness of two slices and a beverage of your choice are reaffirmed and offered up as a reminder of hope in tough times.

How do guys learn how to treat each other? Are we doomed to remain 9th graders far into our adult years? Or can people change (even WITHOUT therapy)??? In this episode I go back to interview the person whom I was intimidated by 51 years ago, in the hallways of high school. What had been going on? And what has gone on since?If you are in need of some hope and inspiration, look no further than today's episode. www.thesandsoftime.net

In which I return to the world of high school and a beloved teacher (Mr. Handler), circa 1970's. Memories are shared with someone else who was a student of his, and the ups and downs of high school are briefly considered by people who ended up the lucky recipients of healthy, mind and soul-expanding examples of living. Best of all, I get to interview Mr. Handler at age 94.