Podcasts about relational life therapy

Break Up with the Old Wives' Tales Keeping Your Marriage Stuck with Monica Tanner Are You Falling for These Marriage Myths Without Even Realizing It? This week on Look for the Good, host Carrie Rowan dives deep into the hidden stories sabotaging long-term relationships with special guest and Intimacy Coach, Monica Tanner, author of the bold new book Bad Marriage Advice: 15 Myths That Are Making You Miserable. Whether you're in a marriage or thinking about committing, you can't afford to miss this eye-opening conversation. Monica unpacks the outdated advice many of us were raised on—ideas that quietly erode intimacy, kill connection, and keep couples stuck in autopilot. You'll discover: Why “lazy communication” might be the silent killer in your relationship How sneaky myths are shaping your expectations and leading to disconnection The powerful shift that happens when you become curious again—about your partner and yourself Get ready to challenge what you think you know about love, intimacy, and commitment. This isn't just relationship advice—it's a whole new way of seeing your partner through a lens of truth, trust, and possibility. Tune in and bust the myths that are messing with your happily ever after. BIO: Hello, I'm Monica, I'm obsessed with marriage and intimacy. I'm married to a super hunky man and have 4 incredibly awesome kids. My oldest is an adult and out of the house and my youngest is in middle school. My ultimate desire and purpose is to lower the divorce rate, one couple at a time through my podcast, intimacy resources and couple's coaching. I'm certified in Relational Life Therapy as well as had some Gottman Training. I believe that couples can enjoy real and lasting change by learning better relational skills AND dealing with the parts of themselves that don't want to use those skills at times. If you are ready to transform your relationship into a wildly satisfying intimate friendship and passionate partnership, book a complimentary 30-minute relationship breakthrough call with me and let's see if we are a good fit to work together. Find out more at www.MonicaTanner.com Listen to her incredible podcast Secrets of Happily Ever After: https://monicatanner.com/secrets-of-happily-ever-after-podcast/  Want to find out when the next incredible episode of Look for the Good is dropping? Sign up for the Look for the Good Podcast Chat weekly newsletter to get behind the scenes insights, special tips, and insider only offers. Click HERE to sign up today! Learn More about Carrie here: https://carrierowan.com/

I spent an incredible weekend at the first-ever Relational Life Therapy conference in Orlando, immersed in transformative teachings from world-renowned relationship experts. RLT offers powerful tools for building radically honest, fiercely loving relationships where both partners thrive in equality, focusing on intimacy, connection, and practical relational skills.• RLT focuses on telling the truth in relationships and why honesty creates deeper connection• Diversity and inclusion play crucial roles in understanding how upbringing affects relationship dynamics• Learning practical techniques for vulnerability, speaking truth to power, and working through difficult moments together• Multi-generational trauma can be healed when one person "faces the flame" and changes family patterns• Happy couples aren't conflict-free but excel at repair after disconnection• Small repair attempts like reaching for your partner's hand or saying "we're on the same team" can transform relationships• Relationships aren't meant to be perfect but real—the growth happens in the repairShare this episode with a friend and DM me on Instagram @monitanner1 to let me know one thing you're going to do this week to make your relationship stronger.Send us a text

Thomas is joined by Terry Real, an acclaimed family therapist, bestselling author, and the founder of The Relational Life Institute. Terry shares insights from his years of work with couples and families struggling to repair their relationships, and how practicing what he calls “Relational Mindfulness” is a game-changer for anyone whose past traumas are negatively impacting their current connections. As Terry explains, the work of relationships is not day-by-day; it's moment-to-moment. And in each challenging moment, we have a choice: give in to our knee-jerk reactions and maladaptive trauma responses, or take a step back so that a more mature part of ourselves can emerge.  When we choose presence, collaboration, and interdependence over reactivity, conflict, and toxic individualism, we don't just heal ourselves and our relationships—we stop the flow of intergenerational trauma in its tracks, and this dynamic shift becomes a part of our legacy.    Click here to watch the video version of this episode on YouTube:

Send us a textToday Vanessa and Heather interview Lori Irwin and discuss the quantum health benefits of supporting healthy relationships. Lori Irwin is the owner of Lovescape Therapeutic Coaching and has been a certified Relational Life Coach for over five years. She has trained with internationally recognized family therapist and bestselling author, Terry Real, who is the founder of this transformational approach called Relational Life Therapy. Lori uses the RLT approach to equip her clients with essential relational skills to foster authentic connection—with themselves, their loved ones, and the broader community.  Also, Lori is a certified developmental and relational trauma practitioner, helping clients identify and heal relational trauma from family of origin and past relationships. Find Lori...www.lovescape.us/bootcampwww.lovescape.uslori@lovescape.usIf you sign up for the Bootcamp after hearing this podcast, email me for a $300 discount.Support the showFind Heather:https://www.instagram.com/heathercrimson/https://www.enlightenedmood.comDiscount codes:https://www.vivarays.com ➡️ Code: enlightenedmood.com for 10% offhttps://midwestredlighttherapy.com ➡️ Code: enlightenedmood for 10% offhttps://emr-tek.com ➡️ Code: enlightenedmood for 20% offFind Vanessa:https://instagram.com/bright_light_wellness/vanessabaldwin/https://www.instagram.com/healingfamilieswithhomeopathy/Website: https://brightlightwellnesscoach.com/Discount codes:https://midwestredlighttherapy.com/ ➡️ Code: Brightlightwellnesshttps://vivarays.com/ ➡️ Code: BrightlightwellnessFree Product Guide http://gem.godaddy.com/signups/3cdbe47a101a4d2d9b991e9b5c9a981e/join Free Homeopathy Guide ...

Send us a textSo what happens when BOTH of you have patterns of avoiding conflict and want to keep the peace at all costs, even if it means staying with an unhappy status quo? Jerry & Kristy consider this (a listener-suggested topic) in light of the rewards that can come from decidedly "rocking the boat."

From Betrayed to Connected: Reclaiming Your Voice, Power & Relationships With Terry Real After infidelity, you don't just want to survive, you want to reclaim yourself, maybe your relationship, and thrive. Join Lora Cheadle, infidelity recovery advocate, and believer that women do not need to stuck in the devastation of betrayal forever, alongside renowned relationship therapist Terry Real, as they challenge misconceptions, cut through the noise, and help you take back your power. In this episode, Terry Real breaks down why traditional therapy often fails betrayed partners, the difference between individual and relational empowerment, and how to advocate for yourself without getting stuck in blame or resentment. Whether you're staying or leaving, you'll learn to transform your pain into a catalyst for joy, confidence, and the life you truly deserve. Top 3 Takeaways: Infidelity is a trauma, not a failure. Your pain is real, and healing starts with acknowledging the depth of your experience. Healing is about transformation, not just survival. The goal isn't returning to what was—it's creating something better, whether with or without your partner. Empowerment is relational, not individual. True healing comes when you reclaim your voice, set boundaries, and cultivate relationships that support your growth. Tune in weekly for insights, expert interviews, and real-world tools to help you rise, reign, and reclaim your worth. Ready to heal your body and mind after betrayal? Download your free Betrayal Recovery Toolkit at BetrayalRecoveryGuide.com and book a complimentary 30-minute consultation with Lora today! About Terry Real: The author of four books, including the recent New York Times bestseller Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship, Terry knows how to lead people on a step-by-step journey to greater intimacy and personal fulfillment.   His revolutionary approach to couples therapy, Relational Life Therapy, underpins all his books, courses, and teachings. RLT equips people with the powerful relational skills they need to make love work and cultivate authentic connections—to themselves, each other, and the planet as a whole. A former senior faculty member of the Family Institute of Cambridge in Massachusetts and a retired Clinical Fellow of the Meadows Institute in Arizona, Terry has worked with thousands of individuals, couples, and fellow therapists. His extraordinary ability to save couples on the brink of divorce garnered Terry the reputation of “the turnaround guy,” and demand from other therapists to learn his RLT method skyrocketed.   To bring the remarkable results of RLT to as many people as possible, Terry established his Relational Life Institute. To date, thousands of mental health practitioners have benefited from a whole new perspective on couples therapy that has transformed their clients, their practice, and their own relationships.  Perhaps you're looking for guidance on how to restore closeness in your relationship, or maybe you're currently single but looking to learn the skills to build healthier connections. Either way, you're in the right place. Here, you'll find a wealth of resources—from free resources to online courses, all designed to help you forge healthy, fulfilling relationships that last a lifetime.  Special Announcement! Don't miss Lora Cheadle's new book, "It's Not Burnout, It's Betrayal: 5 Tools to FUEL UP & Thrive," This essential guide differentiates between burnout and betrayal, offering five transformative steps to recovery. Available on Amazon. www.itsnotburnoutitsbetrayal.com Get your free downloadable guide on the “The Top Three Ways You Betray Yourself Every Day, and How to Stop” at www.burnoutorbetrayal.com. If you're ready to Rise Up & Reign as the creator and queen of your life, let's talk. I will walk by your side and give you the perspective, permission, and wisdom needed to turn your betrayal experience into something constructive, empowering, and transformative in all the right ways.  Learn more at www.loracheadle.com and follow me across all social! Download your Sparkle After Betrayal Recovery Guide at www.BetrayalRecoveryGuide.com, a guide designed to help you take the first steps in feeling better, so you can reclaim your power, own your worth, and start putting yourself, and your life, back together again. About Lora: Lora Cheadle is a betrayal recovery coach, attorney, and TEDx speaker who helps women heal from betrayal on an energetic, emotional, and ancestral level—while also providing legal guidance to help them navigate the practical complexities of infidelity and relationship transitions. She empowers women to rise from the ashes, reclaim their identity and self-worth, break free from repeating patterns, and step into their power with confidence, clarity, and grace. After being shattered by her husband's fifteen years of infidelity, Lora knows firsthand what it takes to transform devastation into an invitation for healing, freedom, and joy. Her unique approach blends deep emotional healing with tangible legal and life strategies, guiding women beyond betrayal into lives of unapologetic confidence and purpose. As the founder of Life Choreography Coaching & Advocacy, Lora provides comprehensive legal, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual support on demand. She believes that infidelity doesn't have to be the end of the dream you poured your heart and soul into—it can be the beginning of a life filled with sovereignty, connection, and joy. Licensed to practice law in California and Colorado, Lora is also a trauma-aware coach, clinical hypnotherapist, somatic attachment therapist, and advanced integrated energy practitioner. She is certified in yoga, mindfulness, group fitness, and personal training, bringing a holistic perspective to healing. She is the author of FLAUNT! Drop Your Cover and Reveal Your Smart, Sexy, & Spiritual Self (an International Book Awards Finalist and Tattered Cover Bestseller) and It's Not Burnout, It's Betrayal: 5 Tools to FUEL UP & Thrive. She also hosts the podcast FLAUNT! Create a Life You Love After Infidelity and Betrayal. Based in Colorado, Lora is an adventure-seeker who loves travel, a great book, and saying yes to life's magic. Get the support you need to find your footing, begin making sense of it all, and feel better fast. As an attorney, betrayal recovery expert, and survivor of infidelity I can help you find the clarity and confidence to create a life that you love on the other side of betrayal. Book Your Session Here: https://calendly.com/loras-schedule/coaching-session Thank you to BetterHelp for sponsoring this podcast! Take charge of your mental health and get 10% off your first month of therapy at https://BetterHelp.com/FLAUNT  READY TO START A BETTER CHAPTER? Step into the future you've always dreamed of with the power of transformative rituals with the Mindful Subscription Box. Get a monthly box full of crystals, aromatherapy, and other spiritual tools worth $120. You deserve high-quality gems, crystals, oils, and mindfulness tools for self-care that truly work. It's a monthly dose of self-love delivered right to your door! Go to www.Mindfulsouls.com  and use Discount Code LORA25 for 25% off your order!

For this episode, I'm doing something a bit different. I'm featuring five chapters from the audiobook Fierce Intimacy by Terry Real. What you will hear in this episode will help you identify both your and your partner's losing strategies in relationships, and help you move from disharmony to repair. Terry is the creator of Relational Life Therapy, or RLT, which underpins all his books, courses, and teachings and equips people with the powerful relational skills they need to make love work. He is also the author of five books, including the New York Times bestseller Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship. And if you'd like an extra dose of calm, I recommend checking out Henry Shukman, a past podcast guest and one of only a few dozen masters in the world authorized to teach Sanbo Zen. Henry's app, The Way, has changed my life. I've been using it daily, often twice a day, and it's lowered my anxiety more than I thought possible. For 30 free sessions, just visit thewayapp.com/tim. No credit card required.Excerpted from Fierce Intimacy: Standing Up to One Another with LOVE by Terry Real (Sounds True, 2018.). Used with permission.*For show notes and past guests on The Tim Ferriss Show, please visit tim.blog/podcast.For deals from sponsors of The Tim Ferriss Show, please visit tim.blog/podcast-sponsorsSign up for Tim's email newsletter (5-Bullet Friday) at tim.blog/friday.For transcripts of episodes, go to tim.blog/transcripts.Discover Tim's books: tim.blog/books.Follow Tim:Twitter: twitter.com/tferriss Instagram: instagram.com/timferrissYouTube: youtube.com/timferrissFacebook: facebook.com/timferriss LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/timferrissPast guests on The Tim Ferriss Show include Jerry Seinfeld, Hugh Jackman, Dr. Jane Goodall, LeBron James, Kevin Hart, Doris Kearns Goodwin, Jamie Foxx, Matthew McConaughey, Esther Perel, Elizabeth Gilbert, Terry Crews, Sia, Yuval Noah Harari, Malcolm Gladwell, Madeleine Albright, Cheryl Strayed, Jim Collins, Mary Karr, Maria Popova, Sam Harris, Michael Phelps, Bob Iger, Edward Norton, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Neil Strauss, Ken Burns, Maria Sharapova, Marc Andreessen, Neil Gaiman, Neil de Grasse Tyson, Jocko Willink, Daniel Ek, Kelly Slater, Dr. Peter Attia, Seth Godin, Howard Marks, Dr. Brené Brown, Eric Schmidt, Michael Lewis, Joe Gebbia, Michael Pollan, Dr. Jordan Peterson, Vince Vaughn, Brian Koppelman, Ramit Sethi, Dax Shepard, Tony Robbins, Jim Dethmer, Dan Harris, Ray Dalio, Naval Ravikant, Vitalik Buterin, Elizabeth Lesser, Amanda Palmer, Katie Haun, Sir Richard Branson, Chuck Palahniuk, Arianna Huffington, Reid Hoffman, Bill Burr, Whitney Cummings, Rick Rubin, Dr. Vivek Murthy, Darren Aronofsky, Margaret Atwood, Mark Zuckerberg, Peter Thiel, Dr. Gabor Maté, Anne Lamott, Sarah Silverman, Dr. Andrew Huberman, and many more.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

After infidelity, you don't just want to survive—you want to reclaim yourself, maybe your relationship, and thrive. Join Lora Cheadle, infidelity recovery advocate, and believer that women do not need to stuck in the devastation of betrayal forever, alongside renowned relationship therapist Terry Real, as they challenge misconceptions, cut through the noise, and help you take back your power. In this episode, Terry Real breaks down why traditional therapy often fails betrayed partners, the difference between individual and relational empowerment, and how to advocate for yourself without getting stuck in blame or resentment. Whether you're staying or leaving, you'll learn to transform your pain into a catalyst for joy, confidence, and the life you truly deserve. Top 3 Takeaways: Infidelity is a trauma, not a failure. Your pain is real, and healing starts with acknowledging the depth of your experience. Healing is about transformation, not just survival. The goal isn't returning to what was—it's creating something better, whether with or without your partner. Empowerment is relational, not individual. True healing comes when you reclaim your voice, set boundaries, and cultivate relationships that support your growth. Tune in weekly for insights, expert interviews, and real-world tools to help you rise, reign, and reclaim your worth.  

According to the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, the success rate for marriage counseling is approximately 70%. Many couples report a greater sense of emotional well-being and a positive outcome from therapy, depending on the therapist. The idea of a happier life after marriage is not just a fairy tale; the data supports it as well. A Gallup Poll reveals that married adults report significantly higher levels of happiness compared to those in other relationship statuses. From 2009 to 2023, over 2.5 million adults in the United States were surveyed on how they would rate their current life on a scale from zero (the worst possible rating) to ten (the highest). Respondents were also asked to predict their happiness level five years into the future. Throughout the survey period, married individuals consistently reported happiness levels that were 12% to 24% higher than their unmarried counterparts, depending on the year. Angelo Santiago is a dedicated Men's Marriage and Relationship Coach specializing in helping men become better husbands. With years of experience working with men, my passion for marriage coaching stems from my own journey in a relationship with my wife, Julie, which has lasted over 21 years, as well as the transformations I've witnessed in other marriages through this work. With a deep understanding of relationship dynamics and men's issues, I focus on helping couples rebuild trust, create genuine connections, and rediscover intimacy. My personalized coaching approach, which draws on training in Relational Life Therapy, Jungian Depth Psychology, Men's Work, and Masculine Embodiment, is designed to break down barriers and transform marriages, leading to deeper, more meaningful connections. I emphasize emotional intelligence, embodiment, and relational connection. If you're ready to become a better husband but don't know how to start, let me support you. I believe in your potential, and you don't have to navigate this journey alone. It's time to explore why learning relational skills can enhance your role as a husband and transform your marriage. For more information: https://www.angelosantiago.com/ Get the Toolkit: https://www.angelosantiago.com/toolkit Listen: https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/better-husband/id1714824313

Send us a textExplore the transformative power of Relational Life Therapy (RLT) and how it can help couples break free from unhealthy patterns to foster deeper connections. Risa Ganel discusses how the adaptive child, systemic changes, and a focus on second-order change can reshape relationships for lasting benefit. • RLT emphasizes systemic connections in relationships • Differentiates between first-order and second-order change • Focus on nurturing the ‘adaptive child' for emotional growth • Importance of personal accountability and choice in relationships • The role of communication in nourishing intimacy • Opportunities for couples' growth through bootcamps and workshopsCheck out Risa's Bootcamps here: https://www.togethercouplescounseling.comFind an RLT Therapist or Coach here: https://directory.relationallife.com/Book a FREE Relationship Breakthrough call with me here: https://tidycal.com/onthebrightersideoflife/call

Send us a textIs it possible? How can this be done? And what are the rewards? Jerry and Kristy consider the rewards and roadblocks to blazing new paths of discovery and adventure with your current partner. 

Ep. 73: Figuring out relationships

Institutionalized constructs operating under the guise of health care, finance & governance are presently facing a well-deserved & scathing scrutiny as more awaken to the realization of the systemic deceit that has brought us to the brink of utter ruination.  Every cloud has its silver lining, and our present predicament is no exception. The growing distrust of education, medicine, media etc. has urged many to look elsewhere with the awareness that health, prosperity & happiness are an inside job!  On this very special Alfacast Sophie Fletcher PhD & Yerasimos Stillianessis return to share further insights into the practice of Human Design as a tool for personal transformation. Yerasimos is the co-host of the “Here For The Truth” podcast, the co-creator of the transformational 10-week group coaching program “Rise Above The Herd,” and the co-creator of “Friends of the Truth,” a private membership community home to some of the most grounded, rational, and intuitive truth seekers online. Having spent more than 20 years on his own truth-seeking journey, Yerasimos is passionate about helping others committed to their own evolution become the fullest expression of who they are meant to be. Drawing from an extensive background in psychology, Human Design, somatic therapies, holistic health modalities, and the performing arts, Yerasimos brings a multi-dimensional approach to personal growth and transformation. As a staunch advocate for radical self-responsibility, conscious action, and self-knowledge, he is dedicated to uplifting the human spirit and guiding others to step into their true purpose and highest potential. Dr. Sophie Fletcher believes that the body carries profound wisdom,communicating through symbols and symptoms that reveal the unconscious aspects of ourselves. Her approach is centered on deeply listening to these subtle cues, using them as doorways to uncover and integrate the hidden elements of the psyche that may be limiting one's growth and well-being. With a master's degree in Spiritual Psychology and a second master's and Ph.D. in Depth Psychology with an Emphasis in Somatic Studies, Sophie is devoted to following the innate intelligence of the body. Her comprehensive training spans Somatic Experiencing, the Neuroaffective Relational Method, Human Design, various bodywork and energetic clearing modalities, Gamma breathwork, advanced autonomic nervous system techniques, Germanic New Medicine, and Relational Life Therapy. These modalities empower her clients to engage with their inner world more consciously, leading to profound self-awareness and personal growth. Anchored in compassion and presence, Sophie ensures that each session offers a deeply meaningful and resonant connection. Her focus is on honoring the body's inherent wisdom, guiding clients on a transformative journey toward personal empowerment and wholeness. Show links: https://hereforthetruth.com/ https://riseabovetheherd.co/ https://sophiefletcherphd.com/ Learn The True Nature Of Dis-Ease & How Our Bodies Actually Work: https://alfavedic.com/themyth/ Join Our Private Community And Join In The Discussion: https://alfavedic.com/join-us/ Follow our new YT channel: / @offgridelegance   Get our favorite blue blocker glasses! https://alfavedic.com/raoptics Learn how to express your law and uphold your rights as one of mankind. https://alfavedic.com/lawformankind Alfa Vedic is an off-grid agriculture & health co-op focused on developing products, media & educational platforms for the betterment of our world. By using advanced scientific methods, cutting-edge technologies and tools derived from the knowledge of the world's greatest minds, the AV community aims to be a model for the future we all want to see. Our comprehensive line of health products and nutrition is available on our website. Most products are hand mixed and formulated right on our off grid farm including our Immortality Teas which we grow on site.  Find them all at   https://alfavedic.com​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ Follow Alfa Vedic: https://linktr.ee/alfavedic Follow Mike Winner: https://linktr.ee/djmikewinner

Send us a textIn this conversation, Jerry and Kristy discuss the importance of self-soothing in relationships. They define self-soothing as the ability to observe oneself and step in to soothe oneself before reacting negatively. They explore different techniques for self-soothing, such as deep breathing, listening to soothing music, spending time with pets, writing, taking baths, and going for walks. They also discuss the need for self-awareness and the importance of not reacting impulsively in triggering situations. They highlight the significance of finding a balance between self-soothing and nurturing the relationship as a couple.

Send us a textJerry and Kristy discuss the gap that can exist between "having good sessions" and actual change taking place, for either an individual or a couple. Tips for bringing the best of therapy to your actual relationship life are shared. 

Kayla Crane is dedicated to guiding her clients on their journey to achieving their goals. She is passionate about working with couples, finding immense joy in helping partners rediscover their connection, improve communication, and build strong, resilient relationships. She believes that when couples thrive, it creates a ripple effect of positivity that impacts their families and communities. Although her passion lies in working with couples, Kayla also excels at helping individuals navigate through anxiety, depression, PTSD, shifting life stages, communication issues, and the challenges of infidelity.Her therapeutic toolbox is packed with a diverse mix of techniques, personalized for each client. Whether using EMDR, Terry Real's Relational Life Therapy, Solution Focused Therapy, CBT, or DBT, Kayla is committed to charting the path to success.Kayla obtained her Bachelor's degree in psychology from National University in La Jolla, California, in 2016 and a Master's degree in counseling in 2018. Originally from Southern California, she moved to Colorado in 2021, where she now lives with her husband, son, and daughter. When not in therapist mode, she enjoys painting, exploring Colorado's breathtaking landscapes, and discovering new eateries around town. Contact Kayla today for a free consultation to ensure a good fit for your journey: https://www.southdenvertherapy.com/

Send us a Text Message.It's almost astonishing how -- after lamenting how little time we "get" to spend with our partner -- we routinely ignore the basics of positive connection in the time we finally set aside to be together. Kristy and Jerry review how some of these dynamics work and suggest corrective measures that can enhance your relational health. 

Today we're very excited to be showcasing an episode from our good friend Libby Sinback's podcast, Making Polyamory Work. In this episode, she's discussing unmet needs in polyamorous relationships from multiple angles. Libby Sinback is a queer, polyamorous mom, the host of the podcast Making Polyamory Work and a coach for people who want extraordinary relationships while choosing to live and love outside the status quo. She is certified in Relational Life Therapy, and has coached hundreds of people in breaking their unhelpful relationship patterns so that they can have happier, more nourishing love in their life. Libby believes love is why we're here, and how we heal. Get 20% off your first order of the world's smartest cat litter at prettylitter.com/multiamory with promo code MULTIAMORYThis episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/multi and get 10% off your first month.Get access to “What's Your Jealousy Trying To Tell You?” a workshop by the author of Polysecure, Jessica Fern. Head to heyplura.com/multiamory and enter the invite code “Multiamory” during onboardingMidwest Love Fest is a brand new all day conference about relationships, identity, community, and non-monogamy coming August 17th to Indianapolis, Indiana.Get 10% off tickets with promo code MULTIAMORY at swlovefest.com/midwest Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The perils and pluses of reaching a diagnostic understanding about your partner are considered. Voicing diagnostic lingo to your partner is considered in terms of being an usually-losing tactic. Of special consideration when one of the couple is a therapist her/himself....

Jerry & Kristy take an extended look at the process of repair. Frequently misunderstood as a "moment" it is actually  a relational project that requires vulnerability, bravery and follow-through. Specific applications of the process of repair to four different fight-scenarios are illustrated. 

Welcome to the Wealthy Wellthy Podcast, where we explore the intersection of wealth, health, and relationships. I'm your host, Krisstina Wise, and in today's episode, I have an incredibly insightful conversation with Kristy Gaisford, a certified relationship therapist and expert in a specific type of marriage and relationship counseling called, Relational Life Therapy.    Kristy and I delve deep into the challenges and triumphs of navigating complex relationships. She shares her personal journey of overcoming marital struggles and finding her path to self-discovery and relational healing. From practical strategies for improving communication, to the vital importance of self-esteem and healthy boundaries, Kristy offers wisdom that can transform the way you approach your relationships.   Stay tuned as we uncover powerful insights and actionable advice that can help you build stronger, more fulfilling connections in your life. Please enjoy my conversation with Kristy Gaisford. Let's dive in!  

If you would like to learn more about the resources Mona Kay has available, please check out her website at: www.neurodiverselove.com ________________________________________________ During this episode with Caron Starobin, LCSW, you will learn more about how Relational Life Therapy (RLT) can help neurodiverse couples understand how their challenges and lived experiences can be used to help them learn, grow and heal. In addition, you will hear about the fantastic workshop that Caron helped organize for the Relational Life Therapy Foundation called “No Ordinary Life”.  You can purchase access to the workshop at the link below: Neurodiversity No Ordinary Love - Relational Life Foundation The RLT Relationship Grid is a visual representation of self esteem and boundaries and includes information about where each person ends up on the grid when they are having their worst day. Click on the link below for a picture of the grid. During this episode, Caron explains the grid and this visual will be helpful as you listen to the episode. https://www.facebook.com/TerryRealRLI/photos/the-relationship-grid-relational-life-institute-coming-to-centerlike-many-people/1335146869845845/ Other topics discussed include: Shame is thinking that you are worthless. Desperation is being willing to do anything to make someone believe you, or hear you. Grandiosity is when you think others are not as smart and worthy as you are. Resignation and withdrawal focus on feeling like you are the one who is not tuning into your partner and that you may be broken. Controlling may include asking your partner ”What is wrong with you? I'm always taking care of everything”. Work on boundaries becoming less rigid or porous. Both partners need to look at how they can communicate and function in a more healthy way. Determine how you can each change your patterns and become more resilient. In RLT the client is "the patterns" that get each couple stuck. There are 8 lenses that are used to assess each client/couple: 1) Presenting problem  2) Preconditions 3) The blatant latent 4) The losing strategies (there are 5 of these) 5) The stance, stance, stance 6) The Relationship Grid 7) Family of origin 8) Socio-cultural  Understanding that the grieving process may be different for each partner and it's important to acknowledge their markers of resilience. It is important to accept limitations in each other and grieve what each partner had expected and accept the reality of "what is" moving forward. Let go without resentment. If the resentment continues then you haven't done the grief work. Focus on doing "relational mindfulness" and be more yielding and generous. Relational reckoning. For more information on Relational Life Therapy, Caron recommends the books “The New Rules of Marriage” and “Us” by Terry Real. If you would like to learn more about Caron's therapy practice and the groups she offers, please check out her website at: www.starobincounseling.com --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/message

Who needs a love story with a bunch of PRACTICAL cues for working through arguments, repairing, and building every kind of intimacy? I have one for you! Today it's WITH LOVE, DANIELLE… and WILL! Eps 113 is deeply personal and FUN AF! We're getting married soon and now I'm telling the how-we-met story, how guarded I was, and when I declared “I want to be your person!”  Jump cut to managing our triggers, couples counseling, and our now legendary “Friday Check In Process”... that I super eff'd up early on but we've turned into an art. For dating, friendship, repair, forgiveness and heart centered relating in ALL relationships… have we got a simple rom-com for you. MENTIONED IN EPISODE 113: Read about our Friday Check-ins in Sacred Weekends Episode 1. Terry Real | Creator of Relational Life Therapy + author of Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship Brian Dean Williams | Therapy, Workshops + Clinical Supervision The Nourish System is a holistic approach to regulating your nervous system and steadying your relationships. LIMITED SEATS! The  INNER CIRCLE Business Accelerator is open accepting applications until May 23 (or sooner if full). Mentorship for your quantum leaps—6 months to clarity + prosperity…with integrity. The Heart Centered Membership is a support system for your body-mind-spirit…and your work in the world. A monthly workshop + audiobook series, with some self-help in the front and business in the back. Get on the wait list for when doors open in June.  Sacred Weekends is my (always free) newsletter for devotion + lifestyl'ish. 220k subscribers are digging it! 2 Fridays a month.  

Jerry and Kristy consider the thorny impact of worldwide patriarchy on the way we function in our relationships. Alternative models are considered, as well as an understanding of how the status-quo we were born into results in a bad deal for both men and women. 

Terry teaches the practice of relational mindfulness. He advises us to shift our view of relationship from a zero-sum situation where one person wins and the other loses, one is right and the other is wrong, he gives us examples of how to conduct skillful and effective communication in order to get off the treadmill of repetitive fights with our partners. Terry Real is a family therapist and author. He's the founder of the Relational Life Institute, which offers Relational Life Therapy (RLT) courses online and in-person workshops for couples, individuals, parents, and professionals. He is the author of I Don't Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression (Scribner 1998), How Can I Get Through to You? Closing the Gap Between Men and Women (Simon & Schuster 2002), The New Rules of Marriage: What You Need to Know to Make Love Work (Ballantine Books 2008), Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship (Rodale Books 2022) Interview Date: 2/14/2024 Tags: Terry Real, hyper-individualism, toxic individualism, relational mindfulness, Relational Life Therapy, RLT, disharmony, repair, James Framo, marriage, patriarchy, non-binary, false binary, Thomas Hubl, wounded child, brain, interconnectedness, Relationship, Personal Transformation, Psychology

Terry Real is a family therapist and author. He's the founder of the Relational Life Institute, which offers Relational Life Therapy (RLT) courses online and in-person workshops for couples, individuals, parents, and professionals. He is the author of I Don't Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression (Scribner 1998), How Can I Get Through to You? Closing the Gap Between Men and Women (Simon & Schuster 2002), The New Rules of Marriage: What You Need to Know to Make Love Work (Ballantine Books 2008) and Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship (Rodale Books 2022)Interview Date: 2/14/2024 Tags: Terry Real, marriage, relationship, James Framo, couples therapy, adaptive child, maladapted child, wise adult, Pia Mellody, self esteem, Relational Life Therapy, RLT, provocative distance taking, responsible distance taking, patriarchy, serenity prayer, personal biosphere, Relationship, Psychology, Personal Transformation

You know the feeling when you just want to throw things away? When one too many things have occurred and you would just love to get rid of things (or your partner?) instead of working to fix them? Jerry ponders the convergence of a number of mechanical breakdowns that came his way as Kristy puts it in context of the ever-present challenge of relational repair. 

What role does our ego play in helping, or hindering, connection with our partner? Kristy & Jerry unpack some of this together. Jerry reports some about his travel to Southern India and how long it took him to finally unpack after returning. 

It's more rare than we would like that both partners in a couple approach "the work" of behavioral change with the same intensity, at the same rate, and in the same way.  What happens if one person is much more enthusiastic about "doing the work" than the other partner? Kristy and Jerry consider this in today's episode.

Memorable, highly-charged words and phrases are frequently heard in couples' therapists' offices. What they mean -- how they are understood between people who claim to love each other -- is often highly debatable and unclear. Jerry and Kristy try to translate some meanings in today's episode. 

An addict's path to recovery necessarily involves making amends and becoming more relational to the people around you whom you've wounded. But often people get caught at the "dry-drunk" phase, don't do the relational work (despite 12-step groups' encouragement to do so) and the very process of recovery can attain a familiarly selfish flavor. Jerry and Kristy explore the relational damage addiction (and sometimes even recovery) can bring.

It's not always The Brady Bunch. In fact, it almost never is. Kristy and Jerry explore some of the dynamics at work for members of blended families and try to "right-size" expectations to maximize opportunities for natural connections. 

Today I am speaking with Ivanna Colangelo, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist about why you want your couples counselor to bring a feminist perspective into couples work. Ivanna and I get real about our observations of couples dynamics and how they're created and reinforced by the patriarchy. Ivanna is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with a therapy and coaching practice in Rochester, NY where she lives with her husband, 3-year old daughter, and 2 rescue dogs. Ivanna is certified in Terry Real's Relational Life Therapy, an approach that considers the influence of patriarchy on how we relate to ourselves and others. Ivanna believes the quality of our relationships determine the quality of our lives so whether through her work with clients, creating content on Instagram, or writing for various media outlets, she is passionate about helping people learn the relational tools and skills necessary to create and maintain a fulfilling life. Thank you to our Sponsor: Nurtured 9. Visit nurtured9.com and enter code ERIN for 10% off PLUS a free golden sparkler wand with all orders. Follow Ivanna on Instagram: instagram.com/getrelationalwithivanna Follow Erin on Instagram:⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠instagram.com/feminist.mom.therapist⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about Erin:⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠erinspahrtherapy.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  Support the podcast with a monthly donation:⁠ ⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/feministmompodcast/support⁠⁠ Show website: feministmompodcast.com Please note: The information provided on this podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. The content shared here is not intended to be professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/feministmompodcast/support

Ahhhh...The Holidays. They are already here, and we are already scrambling to try to extract the maximum amount of family happiness and connection from situations that can also offer confusion, old, unresolved situations, things-out-of-left-field, financial stress, arguments and large amounts of stress or depression. Still, it is possible to put together a tool kit for yourself and to find joy in moments of connection large and small. 

Jerry and Kristy express their gratitude for the people, places and things in their lives, with a particular focus on their respective relationships. Being able to extract, and express, gratitude for that hard things that are learned as part of the growth-edge that relationships bring is the Advanced Class. Our best efforts are required, and are rewarded. 

Whether it is childhood trauma(s), the effects of societal prejudices, discrimination and stigmatizing or more recent adult losses of a traumatic nature, the ripple effects of trauma is shared with our partner in relationships.  Kristy and Jerry ponder the wide-ranging effects of this in presenting challenges to intimacy in relationships. And we end with a whopper of a role-played good fight, demonstrating, once again, the wrong way and the right way to have disagreements with a spouse. (Spoiler alert: we are married to other people who have to actually deal with the Actual Arguments and challenges that arise.)

Do you ever feel strongly at emotional odds with most things around you? And then whether or not you are off-your-rocker and possibly The Problem because of being crazy? Just....different from others, in a major way? You aren't alone at all. Being overwhelmed by feelings -- and not feeling like they are seen and valued by those closest to you -- is common. Jerry and Kristy break it down and consider the way forward, wherein you can remain connected to a partner despite the depth and intensity of your own feelings. 

Kristy & Jerry consider what happens when we, for one reason or another, remember only certain aspects of our most important relationships. We deny, or ignore, important things at a cost; recovery of all the layers of a relationship may be painful, but worth it. 

What's it like for you to be in a couple and to celebrate these special occasions? Or...not? What happens, for the couple, when these days roll around and either are celebrated, ignored or recognized in a less-than-satisfying way? Jerry and Kristy contemplate these things and more. 

Kristy and Jerry untangle the thorny areas in which personal boundaries seem to be challenged by our partner's desire to control us, when -- in fact -- it is often about emotional needs we can all relate to it. The seed for solutions lay in a relational approach,  neither in confrontation nor denial.

Over the last 10 years interest in therapy has boomed, and with the greater demand for therapists more people than ever are considering pursuing a career in mental health. On today's episode Forrest speaks to five therapists and therapists-in-training to learn the lessons they wish they'd known when they started. You can watch this episode on YouTube.Key Topics:0:00: Intro2:15: Rick Hanson5:05: Key traits of good therapists17:50: Questions a prospective therapist might not think to ask25:00: Self-employement, emotional regulation, and boundaries27:45: Efficacy, complacency, and respecting the craft31:45: Lori Gottlieb35:20: Emotional intimacy and human connection38:50: Modalities 40:50: Vulnerability, uncertainty, and making mistakes48:10: Terry Real52:45: Learning how to heal yourself first55:35: What therapy is actually like59:30: Messiness1:03:15: Elizabeth Ferreira1:06:35: Somatics, and being yourself1:11:50: How to suffer with someone, then let it move through you1:16:45: Awareness and the bravery of owning what's in the room1:21:15: Chaos, and loving yourself1:27:45: Taylor Banfield1:34:00: Sitting with a client for the first time1:37:45: Choosing a specific career path1:39:10: Boundaries1:43:15: RecapAbout our Guests: Rick Hanson is a psychologist, Senior Fellow at UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center, New York Times best-selling author, and frequent guest on Being Well.Lori Gottlieb is a practicing therapist in Los Angeles, and is the author of the bestseller Maybe You Should Talk to Someone.Terry Real is a longtime clinician, the founder of the Relational Life Institute, and bestselling author of a number of books including Us: Getting Past You & Me to Build a More Loving Relationship.Elizabeth Ferreira is an associate somatic psychotherapist working in the San Francisco Bay Area. If you'd like to work with Elizabeth, you can reach out to her through her website or Instagram. Taylor Banfield is a graduate student in the PsyD program at the Wright Institute in Berkeley, California. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.Sponsors:InsideTracker gives you the personalized information you need to optimize your healthspan. Get 20% off by going to my special link: InsideTracker.com/beingwell.Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you're ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world's largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.Connect with the show:Subscribe on iTunesFollow Forrest on YouTubeFollow us on InstagramFollow Forrest on InstagramFollow Rick on FacebookFollow Forrest on FacebookVisit Forrest's website

Jerry and Kristy wrestle with the reality that every couple has different levels of desire when it comes to ongoing closeness and intimacy. Like so many other markers of social and emotional health, intimacy might be best viewed on a continuum.

We all know THOSE kind of arguments; when one of us just will not give in, because giving in means giving up and conceding defeat in what feels like a life-and-death battle. But when we consider it at a safe distance, well...what is really going on? And how could these things be handled better? Jerry and Kristy consider this, give some advice, and show what it looks like/sounds like in a real-time argument (done poorly then more compassionately). 

Get early access to our latest psychology lectures: http://bit.ly/new-talks5 There's an old AA saying: Hurt people hurt people. This presentation looks at the difficult men who present themselves for therapy either on their own or brought in by their partners. We will look at common themes of trauma in many men's lives and how best to handle men's wounds therapeutically; how trauma often translates into overt and covert depression which in turn fuels many typically male issues of self-medication and either sexual or aggressive acting out. Special attention will be paid to grandiosity in men and how to treat it. Practical techniques will be introduced to help men come up from the one down of shame, feelings of inferiority and also help men come down from the one up of grandiosity, feelings of contempt for others, or entitlement and being above the rules. The wound to girls is the loss of voice and disempowerment at the edge of adolescence. The wound to boys is not so much disempowerment but disconnection. The healing potential is reconnecting boys and men to their hearts, to their vulnerabilities, and to others. Connection heals trauma. --- Terrence Real is an internationally recognized family therapist, speaker, and author. He founded the Relational Life Institute, offering workshops for couples, individuals, and parents along with a professional training program for clinicians to learn his Relational Life Therapy methodology. He is the bestselling author of I Don't Want to Talk About It, How Can I Get Through to You?, and The New Rules of Marriage. --- Links: - Get our latest psychology lectures emailed to your inbox: http://bit.ly/new-talks5 - Check out our next event: http://theweekenduniversity.com/events - Terry's website: https://terryreal.com - Terry's books: https://amzn.to/3EE3jb1

Kristy and Jerry consider the awkward dynamics that can ensue when partners aren't aligned in their levels of happiness or sadness on any given day, week or month. What, exactly, is your level of "responsibility" and what isn't? How can this be approached with kindness and sensitivity?

Jerry & Kristy consider what happens when the primary source of our self-esteem comes from our social media applications. What are the implications for our relationships?

This week on the WW podcast I interviewed Jerry Sanders and Kristy Gainsford.   Jerry and Kristy Gainsford are both Licensed couples therapists who specialize in a distinct and effective form of couples therapy called Relational Life Therapy.      Relational Life Therapy, or RLT as it is referred to, is a form of couples counseling that helps couples reduce conflict by focusing on communication, personal responsibility, and placing the relationship first. Jerry and Kristy each have their own RLT counseling practice, hers in Salt Lake City and his in New York City, yet they co-host RLT workshops throughout the year.  Their shared commitment to RLT and their years of partnership make this an episode you (and your adaptive child) will definitely want to hear! You'll learn more about your adaptive child when you listen! Questions I asked Christy and Jerry: How much does our childhood play into our adult romantic relationships?  Tell us about the "Timeout" What is the Adaptive Child you refer to?  Is there a skill to Repair after conflict?  What percentage of relationships do you think are healthy?  What do you see most often that's the big issue in a relationship? How is Relational Life Therapy different from traditional couples counseling? Jerry: Relational life therapy places the relationship at the center, that the health of the relationship is a focus, and it acknowledges that the work is less about the relationship or the other partner, but the work is on oneself. Each person's job is to work on their own self esteem and learn how to deal with issues they carry from childhood. Christie:  In RLT, we take sides. We speak the truth. We don't believe that every problem is 50/50. One partner may be causing 90% of the problems and the 10% the other partner causes is because they're still there and are putting up with it. We will call this out by lovingly telling the truth. We will tell one partner this is what you are doing that's damaging the relationship. I don't blame you, but if you don't stop, you are going to lose the relationship. And we not only tell them what looks wrong, but also how they could do it better. How to get in touch with Kristy and Jerry: Relationship Workshop Kristy & Jerry's Website

Are you a couple's therapist? Can you find deeper intimacy by moving beyond the traditional roles within the patriarchy? Can therapy be effective even... The post Relational Life Therapy as a New Approach to Working with Couples with Terry Real | POP 832 appeared first on How to Start, Grow, and Scale a Private Practice| Practice of the Practice.

We're back with another Q&A episode, and this time Libby Sinback is joining us to give her perspective as a queer, polyamorous mom. She is also the host of the podcast Making Polyamory Work and a coach for people who want extraordinary relationships while choosing to live and love outside the status quo. She is certified in Relational Life Therapy, and has coached hundreds of people in breaking their unhelpful relationship patterns so that they can have happier, more nourishing love in their life. Libby believes love is why we're here, and how we heal. We will be doing another Q&A episode in a month or so; stay tuned for that! If this show is helpful to you, consider joining our amazing community of like-minded listeners at patreon.com/Multiamory. You can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, bonus episodes, and more! Get better sleep with a Helix mattress customized for you. Try it for 100 nights, risk-free, get 2 free pillows and $200 off your order at helixsleep.com/multiGet 20% off a physician-reviewed at-home lab test by at Everlywell.com/multi.Quality lube is essential for good sexual experiences. Try our absolute favorite, Uberlube and get 10% off plus free shipping with promo code MULTITo learn more about microdosing THC and get 30% off and free shipping with your first order go to microdose.com and use code MULTI Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Please send us your feedback and questions to info@multiamory.com, find us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast, tweet at us @Multiamory, check out our Facebook Page, visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network.

In this podcast, Sounds True founder Tami Simon speaks with "the relationship turnaround guy" and bestselling author Terry Real about: the origins of his two-day relationship intervention; the groundbreaking—and rule-breaking—approach of Relational Life Therapy; dealing with shame and grandiosity, and the contempt underlying both; the skill of "joining through the truth"; what healthy self-esteem looks like; why "there's nothing that harshness does that loving firmness doesn't do better"; speaking to and from the mature, wise adult instead of the adaptive, wounded child; relational mindfulness; recognizing your tendency toward "fight, flight, freeze, or fix"; our toxic culture of individualism and the shift to "soft power"; why an invitation works a lot better than a complaint; the essential rhythm of relationships: harmony, rupture, and repair; honoring the ecological system of your relationship while having your individual needs met; and more.