Podcasts about kvetch

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Best podcasts about kvetch

Latest podcast episodes about kvetch

Amusing Jews
Ep. 98: Einstein in Kafkaland – with graphic novelist Ken Krimstein

Amusing Jews

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 28, 2025 44:46


Ken Krimstein is a cartoonist and graphic novelist whose latest book is Einstein in Kafkaland. He previously authored The Three Escapes of Hannah Arendt; When I Grow Up: The Lost Autobiography of Six Yiddish Teenagers; and Kvetch as Kvetch Can, a collection of Jewish cartoons. Co-hosts: Jonathan Friedmann & Joey Angel-Field Producer-engineer: Mike Tomren Ken's websitehttps://www.kenkrimstein.com/Einstein in Kafkalandhttps://www.bloomsbury.com/us/einstein-in-kafkaland-9781635579543/Amusing Jews Merch Storehttps://www.amusingjews.com/merch#!/ Subscribe to the Amusing Jews podcasthttps://www.spreaker.com/show/amusing-jews Adat Chaverim – Congregation for Humanistic Judaism, Los Angeleshttps://www.humanisticjudaismla.org/ Jewish Museum of the American Westhttps://www.jmaw.org/ Atheists United Studioshttps://www.atheistsunited.org/au-studios

Go Kvetch!
Go Kvetch 103 (Elote of Puns)

Go Kvetch!

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 25, 2025 44:38


Aw shucks it's time for you to open your ears for another episode.  We oil got together for this pretty corny one.  It's not too starchy, we are still ramping up for a big one for the next episode but Uel provides a mini kvetch about their new Masa-tif Boxer mix and their new Chihuahua, Sidney has a mini kvetch about cooking videos that make pan sauces without a grain of fond, and Sean delivers a Welp that is absolutely sweet as silk. Sidney cropped out the chaff and cob-bled it all together to give you a meal of an episode in perfect hominy that's 50% sweeter than sugar.

Go Kvetch!
Go Kvetch Episode 101 (Live From Philadelphia Pennsylvania)

Go Kvetch!

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 20, 2025 30:30


We have a very special and very silly live episode from Sidney's trip to Philadelphia last week.  

Go Kvetch!
Go Kvetch Episode 100 (A Retrospective)

Go Kvetch!

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 7, 2025 47:26


In this the one hundredth episode of Go Kvetch Uel and Sidney look back at old kvetches and see where things may have changed, where things are remained the same and where they squeeze out just a bit more to kvetch about. 

Go Kvetch!
Season 3 Episode 26 (All Purpose Greeting Cards by Go Kvetch)

Go Kvetch!

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 9, 2025 94:23


It's the episode you've (Sean) all been waiting for! The first of two 2024 Hallmark Hanukah movie review episodes! Plus you'll hear segments from Sidney and Sean that would have been seasonably appropriate if we had released this episode anywhere close to when we recorded it.   Show Link: https://youtu.be/ojm74VGsZBU?si=_6ljjFEzM7WURy9m

Go Kvetch!
Go Kvetch Presents: Animal Kvetches Supercut

Go Kvetch!

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 28, 2024 43:43


Because of Thanksgiving and work travel we don't have a regularly scheduled episode this week but we didn't want to leave you with nothing to distract you from your own thanksgiving kvetching so here is a supercut of the animal kvetches we've gathered from our feathered, furry, scaled, or otherwise skinned animal friends.  

Razib Khan's Unsupervised Learning
Misha Saul: the Antipodean Anglosphere

Razib Khan's Unsupervised Learning

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 24, 2024 76:54


On this episode of Unsupervised Learning Razib talks to Misha Saul, the host of the Kvetch Substack. Saul is a first-generation Jewish Australian, born in Georgia (former Soviet republic), who grew up in Adelaide and now lives in Sydney. He graduated from the University of Adelaide with degrees in commerce and law. His day job is in finance, but the Kvetch highlights his interests in history and Jewish culture. Razib and Saul discuss extensively the differences and similarities between the US and Australia, and how each relates to other Anglophone nations like Canada, New Zealand and of course the UK. Saul asserts though Australia leans into its frontier reputation, in reality it is much more of a bureaucratic-ruled nation than the US, albeit with more of a Scots-Irish flavor than comparatively middle-class New Zealand. He also contrasts the relatively generous welfare-state of Australia and America's inequality, which he describes by analogy to the film 2013 Elysium, with its contrast between an earth dominated by favelas and a well-manicured low-earth orbit utopia for the super rich. They also discuss the geographical and cultural coherency of a vast nation like Australia, which has a desert at its center. Saul mentions it is often actually cheaper to fly to and vacation in Bali or another Asian locale than going to Perth from Sydney. Despite the reality that Australia has exotic fauna, it is notably an overwhelmingly urban society, where few have any interaction with the “bush.” Though Australians appreciate archetypes like “Crocodile Dundee,” Saul paints a picture of a much more urbane reality. Razib asks about the phenomenon of “white-presenting” Aboriginals, and Saul argues all societies look somewhat crazy from the outside because of their shibboleths, and the debates around Aboriginality are Australia's. As an immigrant and first-generation Australian, Saul also discusses Australia's immigration system, which strictly controls and regulates migration. Saul argues that because of the high educational and skill qualifications most Australian immigrants assimilate well, and he contends that there is a broad consensus to maintain strict limits on inflows. He argues that the Anglo-Australian identity is strong enough that the assimilative process continues to work even with the large number of Asians from China and India, who have triggered nativist worries and political activism.

The Inspiration Place
326: Unconventional Art Marketing Tips ft. Jen Lehner

The Inspiration Place

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 15, 2024 41:26


In our latest Kvetch and Kvell episode, digital marketing strategist Jen Lehner and I  share with you how you can use AI to level up your art marketing. Tune in for fresh ideas to grow your art business! In this episode, you'll: Discover how to use AI tools like ChatGPT and Google Notes Lm to your advantage Hear why traditional print ads in niche magazines can still be effective for promoting your art Find out how you can create videos featuring your artwork without being on camera For full show notes, go to schulmanart.com/326  

Go Kvetch!
Go Kvetch Mini Episode (Gauged Baby)

Go Kvetch!

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 10, 2024 29:39


Various life complications meant we couldn't manage a full episode this week but we didn't want to leave you with nothing so here is a short one with a couple segments so you don't forget about us in the next 2 weeks.  

Wonders4Life
Wonders4Life Shiur 480 Kvetch

Wonders4Life

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 7, 2024 3:29


Do I Kvetch?

The Inspiration Place
320: Fail Better ft. Jen Lehner

The Inspiration Place

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 27, 2024 42:46


In this edition of Kvetch and Kvell, systems expert Jen Lehner and I will be talking about failures and why it's necessary to succeed. BONUS: tips on creating your welcome sequence.    In this episode, you'll: Explore more about creating an effective welcome sequence Discover the latest apps you can use on your webinars and meetings Learn how a small act of kindness can make a difference with the people around you   For full show notes, go to schulmanart.com/320  

Tower Power Hour
EP 184 - To Kvetch a Predator

Tower Power Hour

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 4, 2024 88:27


Please follow us on Rumble! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://rumble.com/c/TowerGangPod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ OUR SPONSORS: ⁠⁠nadeaushaveco.com ⁠⁠PROMO CODE : TOWERGANG FOR 15% OFF SUPPORT & FOLLOW US Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TowerGang ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠SOCIAL MEDIA: @towergangpod @libertylockpod (clint) @towergangcole (cole) @towergangjose (jose) @towergangtoad(toad) @toplobsta (Top) WEBSITES: ⁠⁠Toplobsta.com ⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Merchengine.com ⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Towergangpod.com

The Inspiration Place
310: The Real Danger of Tiktok ft. Jen Lehner

The Inspiration Place

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 18, 2024 36:22


On another feature of Kvetch and Kvell, my good friend Jen is back to talk about why you should ditch Tiktok as fast as you can. We're here to warn you. Stay tuned till the end because I'll let you in on a new way to learn from me that's happening this month!   In this episode, you'll discover: Discover the secrets TikTok doesn't want you to know. Explore the newest technology in eyewear Learn best practices to keep your Amazon accounts from being shut down For full show notes, go to schulmanart.com/310  

Go Kvetch!
Go Kvetch Presents: Imperial Measurements Supercut

Go Kvetch!

Play Episode Listen Later May 17, 2024 85:17


All good things come to an end but imperial measurements aren't good things so we are stuck with them for now.  Imperial measurement kvetches are good things though and they really are coming to an end.  Maybe.  Have i confused you enough? just wait till you hear the episode.  

The Inspiration Place
306: Kvetch and Kvell - Why We Dislike Fakes with Jen Lehner

The Inspiration Place

Play Episode Listen Later May 14, 2024 46:05


We're introducing a new series to The Inspiration Place podcast and joining me is my friend and expert in systems, Jennifer Lehner.    In this episode, you'll… Discover the latest trends in AI Learn how to create a perfect podcast pitch for more visibility Explore tips to stay focused and concentrate on your business   For full show notes, go to schulmanart.com/306  

Go Kvetch!
No Kvetch 4 (Underwater, No One Can Hear You Blublublub)

Go Kvetch!

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 21, 2024 67:30


It's our fourth annual No Kvetch special in celebration of Purim.  Sit back, relax, and listen to Uel, Sidney, and Sean not kvetch about books, television, movies, and yeah, even Cricket.  Have a safe and happy purim and if you don't write to us afterwards to kvetch about it.

The New Flesh
Misha Saul | Australia & Her Jews | Ep. 135

The New Flesh

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 25, 2023 73:11


In this week's episode of the New Flesh Podcast, Ricky and Jon interview Misha Saul. Misha is an investor by day and an intrepid Substacker by night. On his Substack, Kvetch, he covers a broad array of topics - from history, culture and ruminations on movies, TV and the Talmud.Topics covered include; growing up in Adelaide, peak Eddie Murphy, why comedy has died, the October 7 terrorist attack on Israel, the recent phenomenon of pro-Palestinian activists tearing down posters of kidnapped Israelis, the wash-up from the failed Australian "Voice" referendum AND more. ARTICLES AND LINKS DISCUSSED---Follow Misha on X:@misha_saulhttps://twitter.com/misha_saul---Australia and Her Jews - Misha Saul Substack:https://www.kvetch.au/p/australia-and-her-jews---Zionism for Aboriginal Australians - Misha Saul Substack: https://www.kvetch.au/p/zionism-for-aboriginal-australians---SUPPORT THE NEW FLESHBuy Me A Coffee:https://www.buymeacoffee.com/thenewflesh---Instagram: @thenewfleshpodcast---Twitter: @TheNewFleshpod---Follow Ricky: @ricky_allpike on InstagramFollow Ricky: @NewfleshRicky on TwitterFollow Jon: @thejonastro on Instagram---Theme Song: Dreamdrive "Vermilion Lips" 

Go Kvetch!
Go Kvetch Important Announcement (Like a Lion)

Go Kvetch!

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 21, 2023 1:40


Hello! 2 memebers of the Go Kvetch team have covid but that isn't why there wont be an epsidoe this week. Have a listen to this and We'll be back next week for a very special episode to make up for it.

Coffin Talk
Casual Conversations #20 - Two Jews, None Kvetch

Coffin Talk

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 1, 2023 6:21


This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit mikeyopp.substack.comSam and Mike talk about being raised “Jewish” by two meditating hippies in the San Francisco Bay Area in the 90s, and how that panned out as they enter their forties and raise families of their own. It's philosophical and silly, and we do not spend even one second on politics (this means it's fun). Enjoy!Thank you for being a premium subscriber to mikey…

The Badass Counseling Show
My Mother, My Kvetch

The Badass Counseling Show

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 16, 2023 69:34


Pam is reeling from her mother's sudden biting criticisms. She realizes that she has buried her feelings about never getting approval, saying it has now set off a land mine. Looking back a string of bad choices and problems with intimacy, she begins to see the reasons for her issues. Sven helps her define her land mine, and take steps to defuse it. Explicit content. 

Father Simon Says
Biblical Kvetch - August 30, 2023

Father Simon Says

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 30, 2023 51:11


Bible Study: (1:49) 1 Thes 2:9-13 Father Explains St. Paul's great Kvetch!  Mt 23:27-32 What are whitewashed tombs?  Letters (21:20) - Do Eucharistic miracles tend to revolve around desecrations?  (22:54) - John 14:1 - How does it say that Jesus is God?  (24:19) - Easter in Middle East?  (28:40) - Our priest discussed Jesus and the Canaanite woman (30:22) - Best edition of the Roman Missal?  (31:05) - I am my own apostle at the hour of death?  Word of the day: Drudgery (33:22) Callers  (35:08) - How is it that God was there in the beginning? (38:52) - It says dogs, does it mean puppies in Matthew, after beatitudes? (41:36) - I heard there was a tomb the BVM, but I thought she was assumed? (44:53) - Question on abortion, could it ever be resolved through political parties, or will it come down through a chastisement or apparition from Mary? (49:25) - Asking the intercession for old testament saints, is that possible?

Go Kvetch!
Go Kvetch Presents: Past Life Regression Special

Go Kvetch!

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 10, 2023 33:46


In this episode Uel kvetches about how it hard it is to find work, sidney kvetches about polticians, and they both kvetch about magazine pages.episode link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dPmZqsQNzGA

Ask a Jew
Eat, pray, kvetch

Ask a Jew

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 31, 2023 71:52


Chaya Leah is back from Italy and FranceThe hazards of kosher fine-dining in EuropeHarvard loves dead NazisYael is traumatized by classic EuropeAmericans love standing in lineThe Jewish ethics of having an affairYou don't *have* to love thy neighbor in AmericaA solemn yet insightful conversation about IsraelIs hatred of the religious people in Israel out of control?Save us, Eurovision!Barbie's Kosher DreamhouseArchie comics were more damaging than BarbieCongratulations Rabbi Shmuly!Oh look another sad Jewish holidayYael suprises Chaya Leah by announcing a new project - The AAJ Book Club! There is no deadline and definitely no meetings (unless you guys want to do that). Our book is “Arc of a Covenant” by Walter Russel Mead.Questions? Askajewpod@gmail.comFollow our substack askajew.substack.com and find us on Instagram @askajewpodShownotes:Israeli protestors connectingJewish students giving it to TitusLiel Leibovitz on Commentary - do you agree or nah?The Arie Deri law 

The Collection with Brad Gilmore
Kurt Fuller, "Masters of Puppets"

The Collection with Brad Gilmore

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 6, 2023 29:52


KURT FULLER (Victor Kragston) Over his almost 40 year career, Kurt is proudest of his work as the grouchy and violent Mr. Brell (no first name) opposite Mr. Hulk Hogan in the actor/wrestler's starrer NO HOLDS BARRED. Produced by Vince McMahon, the film has been criminally ignored on every list of “ Best Films” ever compiled. Surprisingly, Fuller's performance was overlooked during 1989's awards season. WHO'S READY TO RUMBLE? Amanda Detmer (Fox's Empire), Kurt Fuller (CBS's Evil), Dana Ashbrook (Showtime's Twin Peaks), and Michael Hogan (Fox's The Resident) star in this no holds barred look at the dirty underbelly of professional wrestling. James Roday Rodriguez (ABC's A Million Little Things) joins with Legacy Theatre to produce Laurence Davis' riveting drama, taking you from the corner office to the top turnbuckle, daring to ask “Who are the Masters of Puppets?” This is the story of how the fate of a billionaire marriage and a wrestling empire are all decided in one night. Everything is on the line for everyone inside and outside of the ring. It's a winner take all battle that shows you what happens when money, love, and a real rough business fight it out on stage! There will be laughs. There will be tears. There could be blood. Born in San Francisco and raised in the agricultural heartland of California's San Joaquin Valley, Fuller became passionate about acting while attending UC Berkley, where he received a degree in English literature. After graduating, he made the move to Los Angeles with everything he owned stuffed into the back seat of a Dodge Dart (including a king size foam rubber mattress). For the next ten years he was a Realtor by day and a stage actor by night. Then, in 1986, he created the leading role in Steven Berkhoff's explosively successful "Kvetch", earning rave reviews on both coasts. Fuller has gone on to have a very successful career, working with some of Hollywood's best directors, including David O. Russell, Tony Scott, Harold Ramis, and Ivan Reitman, among others. His numerous film credits include "Auto Focus," "Ray," "Pushing Tin," "The Jack Bull," "Ghostbusters II," "Mr. Woodcock," "Nailed" and "The Pursuit of Happyness." Kurt still returns to the stage occasionally, most recently in the acclaimed "Greedy" for Red Dog squadron. He's also worked at the La Jolla Playhouse and the Mark Taper Forum.

Go Kvetch!
Go Kvetch Important Announcement (Uel's Sick Day: A Rebuttal)

Go Kvetch!

Play Episode Listen Later May 11, 2023 1:16


No new episode this week but there were a few things from the last anouncment that needed some clearing up.

Go Kvetch!
Go Kvetch Important Announcement (Uel's Sick Day)

Go Kvetch!

Play Episode Listen Later May 4, 2023 1:26


No Episode this week because Uel is sick. We'll be back to our normal schedule as soon as possible.

Go Kvetch!
Go Kvetch Presents: Clip Show 2 (How F#$%ing Dare You‽)

Go Kvetch!

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 24, 2023 47:42


Its a clip show! Its full of some of the best clips to date and also some outtakes that didnt make it to previous episodes. We will be back with normal content at some point, maybe even the next episode, who knows really?

Go Kvetch!
No Kvetch 3-D

Go Kvetch!

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 10, 2023 72:44


Happy Purim! It's time for another episode of No Kvetch. In this episode Sidney doesn't kvetch about cricket, Uel don't kvetch about a bunch of things as that aren't cricket, and they both share some segments including a couple new ones. show link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G8iEMVr7GFg

19 Nocturne Boulevard
Sword Kvetch by Julie Hoverson (19 Nocturne Boulevard reissue of the week)

19 Nocturne Boulevard

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 2, 2023 34:03


When Cael Carzfinker, blade maiden of the ninth rank (etc., etc.) comes to the castle of Evil Wizard Mazurin to rescue a captive prince, the outcome is.... magical. Cast List Cael - Julie Hoverson Amalan - Krystal Baker Mazurin - Gareth Bowley Gigli - Reynaud LeBoeuf Prince Tupin - Abner Senires Music:  Celestial Aeon Project and Matti Paalanen Editing / Sound:   Julie Hoverson Cover design:  Brett Coulstock "What kind of a place is it?  Why, it's a road through a dark and spooky forest, leading up to an evil wizard's castle" ________________________________________________   SWORD KVETCH Cast: Mazurin, Evil Wizard Cael, Amazon Warrior Tupin, Captive Prince Gigli, Goblin Amalan, Magic Sword OLIVIA      What do you mean, what kind of a place is it?  Why, it's the dark woods outside an evil castle, can't you tell?  MUSIC AMB     SPOOKY NIGHT WOODS SOUND     WOLF HOWL IN THE DISTANCE SOUND     HOOVES ON DIRT UNDER CAEL     [sigh] Typical. AMALAN     What? CAEL     I could write a ballad already.  AMALAN     Oh, no.  No, no, no - that's not your job. CAEL     Shh.  I'm composing. [muttering to self] AMALAN     [whispered] [sigh] Typical. CAEL     Evil castle looms ahead....  Hmm... Nighttime, need to rest my head-- AMALAN     You can't rhyme head with ahead. CAEL     It rhymes, doesn't it? AMALAN     [exasperated sigh] CAEL     [vague threat] I'm getting another sword. AMALAN     You always say that, but you know you couldn't do without me.  CAEL     [exasperated sigh] AMALAN     And who could you ever pass me off to? CAEL     Someone deaf. MUSIC AMD     ECHOEY CASTLE SOUND     SLAPPY FOOTSTEPS RUN IN GIGLI     [coming on]  Master!  Master! MAZURIN     [distracted]  Mm? GIGLI     Master! MAZURIN     Shh-shh-shh.  [excited] Do you see what I have here, my smelly little homunculi? GIGLI     But master--! MAZURIN     [tsks]  I've turned this drop of water into an equal measure of dust. GIGLI     [flat] Why? MAZURIN     It's a vital transmutation.  A change like this could make a great deal of difference! GIGLI     To a thirsty cockroach? MAZURIN     No no, you have to see how, yes, on a tiny scale, this could be a negligible change-- GIGLI     [sigh] Sir? MAZURIN     --But if you do this a million times at once, with a million drops of water, you could cause an entire lake to suddenly turn to dust, ruining agriculture.  And then, with a simple reverse, water from dust! GIGLI     Good.  Lovely.  Can I report now?  It's kind of urgent. SOUND     FIDDLING ABOUT WITH BOTTLES, ETC. MAZURIN     [still distracted]  Uh - what?  Yes, of course, go ahead. GIGLI     Are you listening? SOUND     BOTTLE SET DOWN MAZURIN     [distant]  Of course. GIGLI     [exasperated] Oh! SOUND     BOTTLE SMASHES ON FLOOR MAZURIN     What?  Why did you--? GIGLI     Listening now?  MAZURIN     [annoyed]  Yes, get on with it! GIGLI     Someone is approaching the castle! MAZURIN     [losing interest] Oh, well - set up the defenses. GIGLI     It's an Amazon! MAZURIN     [mildly interested]  Oh, that's different.  [shrug]  Still, the defenses... GIGLI     The moat monster is in labor. MAZURIN     I thought it laid eggs. GIGLI     Well, not after you did one of your little experiments on it.  And it's not best pleased about it. MAZURIN     Oh. GIGLI     And the man-eating vines--? MAZURIN     What?  I didn't do--  They're not giving birth, are they? GIGLI     Think it through? MAZURIN     What? GIGLI     Man-eating vines?  Amazon warrior? MAZURIN     [realizing slowly]  Oh?  Oh! GIGLI     [sigh] MUSIC SOUND     HOOFBEATS ON WOOD AMALAN     Cael, I don't like this. CAEL     You mean the way nothing at all tried to stop us from strolling right up to the front door of the evil wizard's castle? AMALAN     [sarcastic]  No, I meant the two-headed gargoyles - they're so passe'.  Of course that's what I mean!  There must be a trap-- CAEL     I'll keep my eyes peeled. AMALAN     Me too. CAEL     You haven't any eyes. AMALAN     Don't nitpick. SOUND     HOOFBEATS STOP SOUND     TAPPING OF FINGERS ON THE POMMEL CAEL     [musing]  No reception committee.  No moat monster....  The gargoyles? AMALAN     They're tacky as hell, but I don't sense any magic there. CAEL     Well, then. SOUND     DISMOUNT, HORSE NICKERS SOUND     POUNDING ON HUGE WOODEN DOOR AMALAN     Subtlety.  I like it. CAEL     It's what I do. MUSIC SOUND     DISTANT BANGING ON DOOR GIGLI     [calling from off] Master! MAZURIN     Stop banging, Gigli. SOUND     SLAPPY FOOTSTEPS APPROACH GIGLI     [a little closer]  They're at the door! MAZURIN     Tell them we don't want any. GIGLI     [almost here] The Amazon? MAZURIN     Oh, yes.  She got through the defenses--?  Oh, yes of course.  GIGLI     What are you going to do? MAZURIN     Oh, the usual. GIGLI     [sigh, down]  Send me to find out what she wants? MAZURIN     Good idea.  Let me know what she says. MUSIC SOUND     POUNDING ON DOOR AMALAN     If it's abandoned, that would explain the lack of defenses. CAEL     The high council doesn't send a questor to an empty castle. AMALAN     They might not know. CAEL     Yes.  [sarcastic] Why don't you just go and point that out-- GIGLI     [yelling from off, above]  Hail, warrior! CAEL     Hmm.  Manners.  [up]  Who hails me? GIGLI     I represent Mazurin, wizard of the crooked path, mage of the 8th tier, sorcerer-- AMALAN     [muttered] Yeah, but can he dance? CAEL     [side of mouth] Shh.  [up]  I have come to face your wizard.  Open the gate. GIGLI     What is your charge?  Mazurin is an exceedingly busy mage.  AMALAN     Crooking tiers? CAEL     [tiny sigh]  I am Cael Carzfinker, Blade maiden of the 9th rank, slayer of 3 gorgons, and participant in the slaughter of the great red armadillo of Murcie-- AMALAN     With a minor in [shudder] songwriting... CAEL     --and I am charged by the high council of her most royal majesty Luria the balladeer-- AMALAN     [muttered] Ballbuster. CAEL     [trying not to react] --to find and recover the missing Prince Tupin of Vagon, with an eye toward marriage. GIGLI     And my boss is supposed to care - why? CAEL     The scryes say the prince is here - a captive in durance vile under the thumb of this "boss" of yours. AMALAN     Excessive. CAEL     And thus have I come to reclaim him. GIGLI     Oh!  Right.  Hold on, I'll tell the wizard. CAEL     Where'd he go? AMALAN     Ducked behind one of those excrescences. CAEL     I didn't see any of those. AMALAN     [exasperated] The gargoyles. CAEL     So we wait for the wizard to speak.  SOUND     DRUMMING OF FINGERS AMALAN     Oh, you're not-- CAEL     "Green and crooked, small and beady"...  [searching for a rhyme] beady?  Beeeee-dy. AMALAN     Eyes are beady.  He was more... seedy. CAEL     Ah!  "--Small and seedy, his locks were lank and eyes were beady".  AMALAN     [sigh] MUSIC SOUND     SCRITCHING OF A PEN SOUND     SLAPPING FEET RUN UP GIGLI     [slightly puffed, laughing his ass off]  Sire!  She's here for him! SOUND     DOINK AS OF FINGER SNAPPED AGAINST SOMETHING GLASS MAZURIN     Him?  Oh, well.  That's simple then - I'll just un-glaze him, and-- GIGLI     You can't just hand him over! MAZURIN     Why not?  Then she'll go away.  Problem solved. GIGLI     [exasperated sigh]  Tradition?  Ring a bell? MAZURIN     Tradition?  Oh, you're not going to say I have to fight to the death over a trifle like-- GIGLI     No!  But you're supposed to make her do tasks to earn him, so she'll spread word of your cunning and deviousness.  [muttered]  And so she'll keep him once she gets him. MAZURIN     Oh.  I'm far too busy to come up with some silly tasks.  What does tradition say? GIGLI     I'll make you up some note cards.  Want me to let her in? MAZURIN     An... Amazon?  Don't they sleep in barns or something? GIGLI     I certainly wouldn't want to be the one to suggest it to her.  I'll find her and tell her you will speak to her at dinner. MAZURIN     I will? GIGLI     Tradition. MAZURIN     [pouting]  Fine.  Tell her, then come back and find me some [vague] ... robes. MUSIC GIGLI     [off] ...This way, and the wizard will be with you shortly. SOUND     BOOTED FEET ENTER ECHOEY HALL AMALAN     Roomy. CAEL     Kind of dusty, isn't it? AMALAN     Hard to keep help in an evil castle. CAEL     [agreeing] Hmm. SOUND     POOF! MAZURIN     [booming voice]  Dusty?  Humph! SOUND     POOF! SOUND     WATER DRIPPING ALL OVER. AMALAN     [doubtful]  Impressive? MAZURIN     [muttered]  Oh, drat. CAEL     [wiping her face]  Well, that's new. SOUND     SPLAT OF WATER SHAKEN OFF MAZURIN     [trying to save face "I meant to do that"] It's... something I've been working on. AMALAN     You could use it, back home. CAEL     Shh. AMALAN     You could finally get your quarters clean. CAEL     Shh! MAZURIN     What? CAEL     Nothing.  [declaring]  Mighty Wizard, I have come to recover the most noble prince Tupin and bring him home to wed.  This is my quest.  [snarls]  Do not stand in my way. MAZURIN     Oh, of course not. AMALAN     What? GIGLI     [hissed] Master! MAZURIN     Huh?  Oh right - as long as-- um, you-- GIGLI     [whispered prompting]  Can overcome my challenges three. MAZURIN     --Can overcome three challenges. GIGLI     [muttered]  Close enough. CAEL     Of course.  Name your challenges. MAZURIN     [taken completely aback] Oh!  Well-- GIGLI     [whispered] You forgot the cards? [stepping forward]  My great master will issue you each challenge at the break of dawn on three successive days.  Then you will have until sunset on the same day to complete each one. CAEL     Morning?  Why not start now? AMALAN     Tradition. GIGLI     Tradition, milady. CAEL     Fine.  What now? GIGLI     Dinner? CAEL     Hmm.  How about showing me the prince, so I know I'm not wasting my time? MUSIC SOUND     RINGING OF CRYSTAL AMALAN     Well, it's a guy. CAEL     He's... glass? MAZURIN     Much less irritating that way. GIGLI     [jumping in] For the great wizard finds the company of mere mortals a burden - he turns them into glass to show his mighty contempt. AMALAN     That's a lot of contempt. CAEL     It's rather a lot of prince.  Ok, oh great wizard - let's just get this straight right up front.  When I beat your challenges, you'll turn him back to normal before letting me take him, right?  MAZURIN     That goes without saying-- GIGLI     After the first challenge, he will be returned to flesh.  After the second, he will awaken, the third, you may take him. CAEL     Good, I don't want to have to cart around a giant glass statue - must weigh a ton.  And it would be rather unfortunate if I dropped him. MAZURIN     Not really. AMALAN     Nice. CAEL     You said something about dinner? MUSIC SOUND     DINING GIGLI     More port, sire? MAZURIN     [dismissive] Yes, yes.  Now um, if you can picture this fork as an oncoming enemy-- SOUND     CLINK OF FORK - clink clink clink MAZURIN     Then the napkin - I mean the entrapment grass, remember - would of course slow him-- GIGLI     Your port. MAZURIN     Over there, beside the battlefield. GIGLI     [exasperated sigh] SOUND     CUP SET DOWN. MAZURIN     Where was I, oh yes, slow him-- SOUND     CLINKS GET MUFFLED, THEN SLOW MAZURIN     --and eventually stop him. SOUND     MUFFLED CLATTER AS FORK IS WRAPPED UP IN NAPKIN CAEL     [interested] Clever. MAZURIN     Really? CAEL     Immobilizing an enemy makes him an easy target.  So you put your strength into archers, to pick off the enemy soldiers stuck in the fields like-- AMALAN     Garden gnomes? CAEL     --like so many topiary.  Hmm.  Not bad at all.  I could even write a song about that. AMALAN     Oh, please don't - he'll turn you to glass. CAEL     Shut up. MAZURIN     I didn't say anything. CAEL     Not you-- [sigh] I have this curse-- AMALAN     I am not cursed. CAEL     --of a sword.  It talks to me. MAZURIN     Do you often hear weapons talk? AMALAN     [snickers]  CAEL     No, really.  Here-- SOUND     UNSHEATHES SWORD CAEL     Say something.  [beat]  [apologetic] Great, now she's pissed at me.  [muttered] Don't make me look bad.  [up]  When she's in the sheath, I'm the only one who can hear her. GIGLI     Your sword is a girl?  Isn't that somehow counter-intuitive? AMALAN     Big words from a goblin, bub. CAEL     [heavy sigh] See? MUSIC SOUND     WALKING INTO SMALLER CHAMBER GIGLI      Sleep tight! SOUND      DOOR CLOSES CAEL     I can't believe you would embarrass me that way! AMALAN     Embarrass you?  Who called who cursed? CAEL     No, I said you were "my curse", not that you were accursed. AMALAN     Oh.  That's different. CAEL     How's that damn wizard gonna have any respect for me now? AMALAN     Who cares?  He's old.  And evil. CAEL     He's not that old.  AMALAN     And evil. CAEL     [shrug]  That's his job. MUSIC SOUND     DOOR SHUTS, TIPTOEING SLAPPY FEET MAZURIN     [roaring] Gigli? GIGLI     Gurk! [deep breath, then bright]  Yes, master? MAZURIN     What did you think you were doing, insulting an Amazon like that? GIGLI     I --  I didn't-- MAZURIN     You called her a lummox! GIGLI     She was... playing you, sire!  I was only defending your-- MAZURIN     What?  Playing what?  GIGLI     Playing games.  You know no one ever actually listens to you when you rant on about one of your inventions, and there she is [squeaky] "oh how clever!  You're so smart!"  [normal] blech!  And you-- MAZURIN     [wounded] Of course people listen to me-- GIGLI     I don't. MAZURIN     [huffy] You're just a familiar.  GIGLI     [muttered] Don't remind me.  [up]  Sire, what I meant is she's trying to soften you up, get you to like her, so the tests will be easier.  MAZURIN     What's wrong with that? GIGLI     [sigh]  You have a reputation to uphold, my mighty lord.  MAZURIN     Oh, I really don't-- GIGLI     --and if it gets out that you're a pushover, every Tom, Dick and Harry will be at your doorstep, looking to get something from you. MAZURIN     [gasp of panic] GIGLI     And when will you ever get anything done? MUSIC SOUND     PACING IN THE ECHOEY DINING HALL AMALAN     So wizards don't wake up as early as warriors.  So what? CAEL     It's dawn.  He said dawn. AMALAN     Barely.  Sit. CAEL     Nah.  I'm hyped.  I'm ready for something really difficult.  A good fight. SOUND     POOF! MAZURIN     The challenge is-- CAEL     [eager] Yes? MAZURIN     Now, if you think the challenge is too hard, you can back out and go away, you know. AMALAN     Ri-i-ight. CAEL     Not gonna happen. MAZURIN     I am not adverse to leaving someone alive to spread word of my cruelty and -- and--. GIGLI     [hissed] Cunning! MAZURIN     And cunning. CAEL     And? MAZURIN     And...?  [thinks] and... meanness? CAEL     [sigh] And the challenge? MAZURIN     Right.  You must ... empty my entire moat into a single tankard. AMALAN     [eyeroll] Oh, jeez. CAEL     [skeptical] Are you sure? MAZURIN     Sure? SOUND     SORTING THROUGH CARDS, STOPS MAZURIN     Um... yes.  That's the first challenge. AMALAN     You wanna tell him, or should I? CAEL     Ok, here's the deal.  I could go out into the yard, smack a big hole in the bottom of a tankard and then cupful by cupful pour slimy moat water into the now bottomless tankard until there's nothing left in your pond but silt, dying fish and a pissed off moat monster. MAZURIN     Oh.  [whispered] Would that work? SOUND     FLIPPING PAGES GIGLI     Uh--  Yeah. CAEL     Or I could-- MAZURIN     [whispered] I can go on to another one. GIGLI     [whispered] Nah.  You can't switch horses in midstream. CAEL     Is everything all right? MAZURIN     [up] Just a moment! AMALAN     Ka-ching! CAEL     What? AMALAN     You aced it - he might demand you actually go through with it, but he seems surprisingly reasonable for an evil wizard. CAEL     I still don't think he's all that evil. AMALAN     He turns people to glass and makes grass that grabs you. CAEL     And I bring in archers to kill the immobilized troops-- MAZURIN     All right.  We've got this settled. AMALAN     He lets his familiar be part of the decision process? CAEL     I talk to a sword.  [up] Yes, oh mighty wizard? MAZURIN     Well. [ahem]  Rather than have to restock my pond-- AMALAN     Boo-yah! MAZURIN     --we're going to take it as read that you completed the first task, and start fresh in the morning. CAEL     What do we do for the rest of the day? MAZURIN     [at a loss]  uh...  well... [doubtful] You could... come and see my workshop? AMALAN     Spare me. CAEL     That would be fascinating. AMALAN     No really, spare me! CAEL     While we're there, you can turn the prince back to flesh. MAZURIN     Oh, right.  Of course. AMALAN     Couldn't you leave me with the blasted goblin?  At least he can hold a conversation. CAEL     Shut up. MAZURIN     What?  Oh, right, the sword.  Did I mention that I've figured out how to turn water to dust, and vice versa?  Mostly only a drop at a time, just yet, mind you - since it's very hard to control in large quantities - oh, well, except for last night-- CAEL     Oh, is that what that was--? MAZURIN     --but I was -uh- trying to make an impression. MUSIC CAEL     [singing, but a bit shaky] the mighty warrior calms her rage goes into the castle dark and drear wond'ring what sort of wicked mage might be he that liv-ed here and whether she would see another day! SOUND     LIGHT BUT ENTHUSIASTIC APPLAUSE MAZURIN     [admiring] You wrote that just last night? CAEL     I - I couldn't sleep.  It's not finished. MUSIC MAZURIN     I work on very small amounts at a time - no need, really, to enchant huge things.  Saves space and lord knows, who wants seven tons of aspic just lying around? MAZ and CAEL     [CHUCKLE] GIGLI     [exasperated]  On that culinary note - Master, do you plan to dine here in the workshop? MAZURIN     Dine?  But it's hardly even dark out--  Oh!  Well.  CAEL     No wonder you keep lighting candles. MAZURIN     I didn't even notice, I was so caught up-- GIGLI     Din-ner? MAZURIN     Of course. Of course.  Shall we? CAEL     [stretching]  I hadn't even thought about it, but I am famished. GIGLI     And your sword? CAEL     don't be silly.  Swords don't eat.  She's been awfully quiet, though. AMALAN     I have been trying to ignore you.  You're acting like a scullery maid who got smiled at by a lord. CAEL     What? AMALAN     And it will get you into trouble- this mage is the enemy.  He's enchanting you. MAZURIN     Something wrong? CAEL     No.  [thinking]  Nothing. MUSIC GIGLI     Sleep well.  Challenge at dawn.  All that. SOUND     DOOR SHUTS CAEL     Check me for magic. AMALAN     Why? CAEL     You're the one who said he's enchanting me. AMALAN     I meant he's charming you - not like a CHARM charm, just by being a smooth talker. CAEL     So you don't really suspect a spell? AMALAN     I don't see anything out of the ordinary. CAEL     Whew.  That's a relief. MUSIC SOUND     BANGING ON THE DOOR GIGLI     Rise and shine!  It's dawn. SOUND     DOOR OPENS SLOWLY GIGLI     Hello?  Hmm. SOUND     FLAPPY STEPS INTO THE ROOM GIGLI     Must already be down there...  [mischievous]  We-e-e-ell.  SOUND     PAWING THROUGH HER THINGS GIGLI     Figures an Amazon wouldn't have anything interesting in the way of undies.  Lace would ride up something fierce.  What's this? SOUND     PARCHMENT UNROLLS GIGLI     [reading] "The great and mighty Queen Luria" blah blah blah "doth decree" Oh doth she?  Blah blah blah.  "That prince Tupin should be returned safely to her royal residence in order to be joined in marriage and alignment with her oldest daughter [ with feeling] princess Cael!"  [tsks, then truly rueful]  Boss ain't gonna like this. MUSIC MAZURIN     The test for today-- [muttered] where is that idiot goblin anyway?  [up] Is for you to clean out the stables of my thirty terribly ferocious horses. CAEL     OK.  But this one's going to be easy too. AMALAN     Unless they've been eating fermented oats - remember that one time at bard camp? MAZURIN     Oh? CAEL     Course.  I've spent my entire life around the royal stables.  Horses like me.  MAZURIN     Oh, I suppose we could just call it even and I could show you a few more-- CAEL     Nonsense. MAZURIN     Nonsense? CAEL     Silly!  First - I might as well prove I can do something to earn my keep.  And second, if it's such a test, I can't imagine the poor horses having to live there without it being cleaned.  Which way? MAZURIN     Oh, um, I'll take you there. SOUND     FOOTSTEPS PROGRESSING THROUGH HALLWAYS CAEL     That would be lovely.  Oh, is there anything in the tests that says I can't ask someone for help? MAZURIN     I'm not sure - Gigli would know, but-- CAEL     Well, I figured it couldn't hurt to ask. MAZURIN     But there's only really one, well, person, you could call on to help, and Gigli isn't fond of any kind of animals-- CAEL     Oh, he's not who I was thinking of. MAZURIN     What, who, then? CAEL     Nuh-uh.  Not until you decide if I can - don't want to give it away. MAZURIN     [enjoying the byplay]  Shall I guess? CAEL     Nope, just decide, then I'll tell you. MAZURIN     All right.  Yes.  You can ask someone, but I can't constrain them into helping you. CAEL     [laughs]  Fine.  You wanna help? MAZURIN     Me? CAEL     I'll do all the heavy lifting, but I thought maybe once the bulk is gone, there's plenty of dust in a good old hayloft... MAZURIN     Oh!  [laughs himself] Oh, yes! AMALAN     [disgusted] Oh, gods. MUSIC GIGLI     No, no, no, no, NO!  She wasn't supposed to have any help at all - how could you have missed that part? MAZURIN     You weren't there to cue me, so you can't complain.  What do you think of my beard? GIGLI     Your beard?  Why? MAZURIN     I've trimmed it down a bit - I think it's rather dashing. GIGLI     [disgusted] Dashing? MAZURIN     Makes me look a bit of a rakehell.  Do you think I should wear the green or the black robe?  I like green better myself, but black is so very... oh... manly-- [hums tunelessly to himself.] GIGLI     Oh, you moron!  [sigh]  She's supposed to marry the prince. MAZURIN     [hum cuts out with a gasp]  wh-wh-whatever do you mean?  [Blustering, trying to laugh] What?  Ha-ha-ha.  [losing momentum, starting to wind down]  What did you think I was ... doing? GIGLI     I really hate to burst your bubble, especially since you actually eat and bathe right now, but I saw it in her gear.  She has to get the prince back and marry him. MAZURIN     She has to-- GIGLI     Said "Princess Cael" big as life.  MAZURIN     Oh. MUSIC SOUND     CAEL GETTING DRESSED AMALAN     Lucky for you, you were in the barn when he doused it.  No one likes a smelly Amazon. CAEL     Do you remember if I packed my teal chemise?  AMALAN     Isn't that the one you only wear for state occasions? CAEL     Um, yes... AMALAN     The one you say rides too tight through the chest and you hate to wear except that it brings out your eyes? CAEL     [overly casual]  Yes.  Did I pack it? AMALAN     I distinctly recall the words [mimicking] "phooey, when I go to do battle, who's looking at my... eyes?" CAEL     Drat. AMALAN     How can you stand him?  He's so dull! CAEL     Dull?  What do you mean? AMALAN     I mean what could possibly be more completely boring than turning dust to water - oh, yes.  Turning locusts to aspic.  That was much more boring. CAEL     It was not.  It's important magic.  He's very clever. AMALAN     Clever like a fox.  No wait that's wrong... right... anyway, forget it.  I means he's deliberately being disarming, CAEL     Speaking of disarming... SOUND     BUCKLE BEING UNBUCKLED, SWORD LEFT BEHIND AMALAN     What are you doing? CAEL     Just what you asked me to do - Sparing you. AMALAN     What? CAEL     No reason I'd need a sword at dinner.  Even with an evil wizard. MUSIC SOUND     EAGER, MESSY EATING NOISES MAZURIN     [heartfelt heavy sigh] TUPIN     [mouth full]  So where's this princess?  She one of those who likes to make an entrance?  Man, she must have seriously kicked your ass, eh?  Is she  hot?  GIGLI     [muttered] I'd actually forgotten-- SOUND     BIG DOOR OPENS, FOOTSTEPS MAZURIN     [deeply affected - she looks good]  Oh. TUPIN     [eating stops, swallow] That her?  Man, she's kinda chunky.  And old. GIGLI     Oh, for a hammer. SOUND     [under the talking] MAZURIN'S CHAIR SQUEAKS OUT, HE TAKES A STUMBLING STEP AND THEN PULLS A CHAIR OUT FOR HER MAZURIN     [barely able to talk]  You look - very nice.  Very. TUPIN     Aren't you a little underdressed?  CAEL     I - who? [whispered] Who is that? GIGLI     You don't recognize him?  CAEL     Oh, the prince!  Greetings, your highness.  So pleased to see you upright - or at least sitting down.  MAZURIN     Have a seat, milady? CAEL     Thank you so much, kind sir. TUPIN     I don't have to stand.  I'm royalty. CAEL     What? TUPIN     That crack about me not getting up when you came in - it's not like you're my mom or anything.  Princes don't have to stand. GIGLI     [whispered] Please let me leave, boss.  I'm gonna kill him. CAEL     I didn't mean anything-- MAZURIN     [whispered] Go, then. GIGLI     As you command. SOUND     QUICK SLAPPY STEPS, DOOR TUPIN     Well, you sounded very critical.  I don't put up with that from anybody.  Not even other royalty. MUSIC SOUND     DOOR OPENS AMALAN     Who's there? GIGLI     Where is it...? SOUND     SLAPPY FEET, SWORD SLID OUT OF SHEATH AMALAN     Unhand me! GIGLI     Hey, just wanted to ask you a couple of questions - as if I know what to do with a sword...  Well, there is this prince... [nasty chuckle] AMALAN     Prince Tupin? GIGLI     Yeah.  What a prize. AMALAN     That bad?  Is he - of course!  He's awake, isn't he? GIGLI     Unfortunately. AMALAN     Oh, man, and I'm missing it.  GIGLI     If she doesn't clock him by the end of the evening, I'm no familiar. AMALAN     Nah.  She's under strict orders. GIGLI     Yeah, I know. AMALAN     You know.... what? GIGLI     Oh, I was scouting for my master, and found the parchment in her things.  He was really disappointed, you know. AMALAN     Disappointed?  Your master?  Why? GIGLI     That your princess will be marrying the prince. AMALAN     Big whoop.  She has to marry someone.  Besides, it's years off. GIGLI     Yeah, but he--  Nothing. AMALAN     He what? GIGLI     It's kind of amazing, really.  Never seen my boss like this before - you know, picking out clothes by more than smell.  And then finding out she's spoken for. AMALAN     He's interested in the princess?  That's kind of creepy. GIGLI     Why?  He may be a wizard, but he is a man. AMALAN     Perv. GIGLI     Hey, she may not be my type, but she's not so hard on the eyes.  You should be more supportive. AMALAN     You're a perv too.  The princess is only 13!  GIGLI     [blink blink]  She's really tall, then. AMALAN     Huh?  Have you even seen the princess? GIGLI     [halting]  Your... lady warrior? AMALAN     Oh, heck no.  The princess Cael is-- Oh!  You thought my boss was the princess?  Gads!  Half the girls in the country are named Cael, for the great queen who led her people out of darkness and taught them to fight? GIGLI     Oh?  Oh!  I've got to tell him! SOUND     SLAPPY FEET AMALAN     Wait!  You mean your master is really-- I thought he was just softening her up. GIGLI     [snorts]  He wouldn't know how to begin.  Short of turning her to aspic... MUSIC CAEL     With the extra horses, I can him get there and make it back in about two weeks. MAZURIN     [a bit negative] Back? CAEL     Yes.  MAZURIN     [grumpy] Why? CAEL     [a bit deflated]  To... return the horses? MAZURIN     Oh, of course.  [lying badly] I may not be here.  I have a big trip coming up.  But Gigli can see that you have a place to sleep... CAEL     [backing off] Or I could always send someone with them. SOUND     DOOR SLAMS OPEN, SLAPPY FEET RUN IN GIGLI     Sire!  There has been a grave error! MAZURIN     [sharp]  What? GIGLI     It's entirely my fault, I admit - wait, what happened to the prince? CAEL     He fell asleep.  I think he ate too much. GIGLI     [chuckles] I'll bet.  Good one, sire. MAZURIN     What is your news, mannikin? GIGLI     Ah, yes.  Um, can you come over here, maybe?  CAEL     I can... leave. GIGLI     No!  [urging] Master? MAZURIN     Just spit it out.  GIGLI     [whispered] She's not the one. CAEL     Not the one what? MAZURIN     Not?  What?  GIGLI     Arrying-may the ince-pray. CAEL     Your goblin has lost its mind. MAZURIN     Not marrying the prince?  You're not marrying the prince? CAEL     Me?  Oh, gods no!! MAZURIN     But he saw-- GIGLI     Princess Cael is marrying him. CAEL     Yeah.  She's my cousin.  It's all arranged for her eighteenth birthday.  Hey, if they ask, can I tell them you'll turn him back to glass until then? MAZURIN     Not you? CAEL     No.  [thankful and sarcastic] I'm not worthy of one such as him.  Besides, he's years younger than me. MAZURIN     Then you can marry anyone you want? CAEL     Once I successfully complete my quest.  That's kind of why I took it. MAZURIN     [horrible anticipation] Did you - have someone in mind? CAEL     [suddenly shy]  No.  Why? MAZURIN     Nothing.  Just-- GIGLI     This is disgusting.  Just kiss her.  CAEL     But there's a third test--? MAZURIN     Oh, yes... GIGLI     [eye roll]  The third test was too see if you could listen to the wizard and not fall asleep - boom, you win.  Kiss her. MAZURIN     [excited]  Can we do that? GIGLI     The whole test thing was mostly because I was really, really bored.  ...And tradition. CAEL     We should hold off the kissing until I complete my quest.  There's always the chance the prince will get lost in the forest on the way back. GIGLI     Now there's an idea... MAZURIN     Perhaps an escort would be helpful?  Hmm? CAEL     ...and a cart.  Then he could sleep the entire trip! GIGLI     Poor princess. CAEL     She throws things.  I think they're actually well matched. MAZURIN     [giddy]  Well, perhaps a toast? CAEL     And then you can finish telling me about your research into the relationship between the angle of sunlight and the movements of pond slime. MAZURIN     Only if you promise to complete that ballad you were writing and sing it for me on the trip. GIGLI     [disgusted moan] END  

Go Kvetch!
Season 2 Episode 20 (Even Computers Can Kvetch)

Go Kvetch!

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 23, 2023 62:10


In this "all segments" episode Uel and Sidney hit the clasics. A which is worse, an IMDB+ at best, an animal kvetchs, and a brand new segment (sort of) from producer Sean (also sort of).

Central Synagogue Podcast
SERMON: Rabbi Mo Salth - Na'aseh V'nishma – Striving to Kvetch Less and Give a Whole Lot More

Central Synagogue Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 18, 2023 11:31


Sermon by Rabi Mo Salth, "Striving to Kvetch Less and Give a Whole Lot More"February 17, 2023

Go Kvetch!
Season 2 Episode 19 (With Apologies to Quebec)

Go Kvetch!

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 10, 2023 92:41


In this episode Uel turns a Welp segment in to a full Kvetch, Sidney turns a Copy Kvediting segment into a full kvetch and they also have a normal number of additional segments in a show that is, somehow, not an all segment episode. Trust me.

Tales of The Wise Fools of Chelm
Does A Bear Kvetch In The Woods?

Tales of The Wise Fools of Chelm

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 8, 2023 3:12


Sometimes you get the bear, sometimes the bear gets you. (No Balagoolas were harmed in the making of this episode.) (Kvetch means complain.) From "Tales of The Wise Fools of Chelm," available on Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle. https://amzn.to/3VpWj7y

Go Kvetch!
Go Kvetch Presents: A Thanksgiving Treat

Go Kvetch!

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 25, 2022 23:54


No episode this week so we can concentrate and getting ready for Thanksgiving but we didn't want to leave you with nothing. Here is a special treat for the holiday. Head over to GoKvet.ch and check out our merchandise page starting this weekend for new and exciting listings.

Review That Review with Chelsey Donn & Trey Gerrald
Episode 77: Minato Sushi & Bar

Review That Review with Chelsey Donn & Trey Gerrald

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 23, 2022 44:36 Transcription Available


The Queens rate and review a 3 Star Yelp Review for Minato Sushi & Bar in Reno, Nevada! The Queens channel their inner Thanksgiving spirt and Kvell instead of Kvetch and things get sentimental. Chelsey loves Trey and you, Trey loves you and online banking, and the Queens have no idea what stories involve scorned lovers, sorry. Happy Gobble Gobble! We love you all!(02:21) Lodge a KVELL!(11:16) Review(31:49) Exclusive Offer(36:08) My Royal Highness / Fiddler on the Roof Synopsis(40:46) DONATE! (41:58) On Today's After Show Pod(44:18) Darren Criss: Full CommitmentReview The Pod at lovethepodcast.com/thereviewqueensDONATE to the Production of Review That Review by visiting ReviewThatReview.com/Donate Click Here to Join our Patreon for Bonus content and Member's Only After-Show Companion Podcast featuring additional reviews, deeper dives, salacious stories, and more.***** PROMO CODES *****REVIEWQUEEN at clean.emailREVIEW40 at vitable.com.auREVIEWQUEEN at shesbirdie.comREVIEWQUEEN40 at NatalieWeissVoice.comQUEEN15 at SmartPatches.comQUEEN at superchewer.com***Click Here to Join the Queendom Mailing List!Leave us a voicemail at 1-850-REVIEW-0WATCH CLIPS on YouTube!Visit our website for more: www.ReviewThatReview.com@TheReviewQueens | @ChelseyBD | @TreyGerrald ---Review That Review is an independent podcast. Executive Produced by Trey Gerrald and Chelsey Donn with editing and sound design by Trey Gerrald. Cover art designed by LogoVora, voiceover talents by Eva Kaminsky, and our...

The Gist
Today We Vote, Tomorrow We Kvetch

The Gist

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 8, 2022 32:41


Democracy is on the ballot, croquet's a game played with a mallet, an onion is a grown-up shallot. Also the return of Robb Willer, Director of the Polarization and Social Change Lab at Stanford University. He conducted a mega-study of ways to strengthen Americans' attitudes toward Democracy, which you may have heard is on the ballot. It shall not whither … or shall it? Produced by Joel Patterson and Corey Wara Email us at thegist@mikepesca.com To advertise on the show, visit: https://advertisecast.com/TheGist Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

And ANOTHER Thing...with Darci and Kelly
Another Week, Another Kvetch Fest!

And ANOTHER Thing...with Darci and Kelly

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 10, 2022 45:11


This week is another hodge podge of topics! More fall out regarding the Roe v. Wade debate from Kansas and Orange County, CA, Alex Jones gets his come uppance, the loss of a few amazing stars and Polish LARPers. Join us for the kvetching and the fun!

Bad Faith
Episode 190 Promo - Dobbs Kvetch

Bad Faith

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 4, 2022 6:27


Subscribe to Bad Faith on Patreon to instantly unlock this episode and our entire premium episode library: http://patreon.com/badfaithpodcast    About a week post-Dobbs, Briahna speaks to public defender and periodic co-host at The Hill Rising Olayemi Olurin & comedian and podcaster Kate Willet about the Democratic party response and what this means about the state of women's' rights in America. It's a long overdue kvetch-sesh with two of the funniest leftists around, about a subject that's no laughing matter.   Subscribe to Bad Faith on YouTube to access our full video library. Find Bad Faith on Twitter (@badfaithpod) and Instagram (@badfaithpod).   Produced by Armand Aviram.   Theme by Nick Thorburn (@nickfromislands)

Go Kvetch!
Go Kvetch Presents: Unnamed Clip Show Number 1 (and we will come up with a better title)

Go Kvetch!

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 30, 2022 48:13


We are joined by a special guest which is a weird choice for a show comprised of (Oh, Sidney is going to freaking hate that) mostly already aired content, but he's been begging to get on the show for so long that we really couldn't keep him waiting any longer.

Parsha4Life
Friday Parshas Behaaloscha

Parsha4Life

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 17, 2022 5:26


Don't Kvetch!

My Literacy Space Podcast
Encouraging Young Writers with Author Caroline Kusin Pritchard

My Literacy Space Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 16, 2022 36:22


Caroline is a children's book author whose debut book, Gitty and Kvetch, came out this past September through Atheneum Books for Young Readers, an imprint of Simon & Schuster. She has a number of picture books coming out over the next few years, and is excited to share more soon! Caroline is currently an MFA Candidate in Writing for Children and Young Adults at Vermont College of Fine Arts. She lives in the Bay Area with her husband, three kiddos and 120-lb dog. In this episode, we'll chat about: -How authors get inspired -Important skills to develop as a young writer -Favourite takeaways from Caroline's IG series Craft Talk she did with other amazing children's authors -How she looks for what she refers to as a "one magical moment" -Tips for educators in encouraging young writers   Connect with Caroline www.carolinekusinpritchard.com Instagram @carolinepritchardwrites Twitter @CarolinePritch Facebook: Caroline Kusin Pritchard   Books Mentioned in the Episode: Gitty and Kvetch by Caroline Kusin Pritchard Amazon Canada affiliate link: https://amzn.to/3xsbH8A Amazon US affiliate link:  https://amzn.to/3NVeGx3 When We Say Black Lives Matter by Maxine Beneba Clarke Amazon Canada affiliate link:https://amzn.to/3b4Qfin Amazon US affiliate link:  https://amzn.to/3MWJLzl

Go Kvetch!
Go Kvetch Emoji Special

Go Kvetch!

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 16, 2022 68:18


The episode you have all been waiting for, and then forgot about cause it took us so long, and then occasionally wondered if we were ever going to actually record. In this episode, The Go Kvetch Emoji Special Uel tries to teach Sidney how to use, and perhaps enjoy Emojis.

Carole Baskins Diary
2017-02-07 Carole Baskin's Diary

Carole Baskins Diary

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 24, 2022 8:21


Love and Sex The photo was last night when Howie was playing with Jamie's dog Hurley and being watched by Babylon the cat.   This morning Howie pounced into the bed and said, “We have an emergency!”  He ripped off his pajamas did need immediate attention.  All I could say afterwards was, “Well, aren't YOU full of surprises?”   I came in to my computer to start my day and am now in tears at the beautiful letter he wrote his cousin Alan last night:   February 6, 2017   Dear Al,   Over the years I think the only mail you have ever got from me was sent as humor like the recent defective golf shoes letter (for which I am still expecting payment.)  Or like the enclosed “Anatomy of a Kvetch.”   This is not one of those letters.   I have been thinking of you multiple times each day since we last spoke.  I did not want to call again because it so clearly exhausted you.  So I decided to write.   I am so very sorry to hear you struggling so. The closest I can personally identify to what you are describing in terms of lack of energy is the recovery from my heart surgery two years ago.  In addition to the normal strain of such surgery I lost a lot of blood and was very anemic. If I did as much as get up and use the bathroom, I was so exhausted I had to go back to sleep in the recliner.   I had the psychological benefit of knowing “this too shall pass.” It is unclear to me if you are still having the Cleveland Clinic there do tests?  I so hope you can find a cause and a solution for this.   Speaking of Cleveland Clinic, you probably saved my life by insisting I go there. You may or may not recall, but the doctor there, who only does mitral valve work and has done more than any person in the world, said mine was one of the most difficult he had ever done. The doctor I had picked out here in Tampa was of course very good.  But I have real doubts about whether he could have handled that level of difficulty and whether I would have had such a good outcome, or even lived.   I have always felt that you and I had a very unique bond. It started of course with your relationship with Mom. Even in the most difficult of times, if your name came up, it brought a smile to her face and triggered a glint in her eye. Rick still remembers as a youngster the time you showed up at the door unannounced. He had no idea who you are and I cannot right now recall the clowning you did with him, but he still tells the story.   In reflecting on that bond, it occurs to me that I think in part it was based on two things we have in common. One was simply operating with integrity, a relatively rare value these days. I remember your explaining to me why you quit litigating – because the judges were crooked and you were not going to play that game. Your integrity was a common thread thoughout all of our discussions on any topic over the years.   When Mom was close to the end she called me to her bedside one day. This brings tears to my eyes as I write and I have to pause.  She said “I hope you are successful in your life however you decide to define it.  It may be money or your job. I just want you to remember one thing. No matter how successful you are in your career or your finances, something or someone one can always take it away.  There is only one thing that nobody but you can take away from you – and that is your honor.”   That is how I have tried to live my life and I honestly believe I have. It is how you lived yours I believe.     The second thing that strikes me we uniquely have in common is our bantering sense of humor.  I cannot think of anyone who could give me back as well as I gave more than you.  And because we had similar senses of humor, I think we both could appreciate the other's humor.  I am reminded of that glorious day on the golf course…”Hey Alan”  “What?”  “Ever hit it into that water?”  I would not trade all the holes in one in the world for that 18th hole eagle!   And speaking of your humor brings to mind the time at my townhouse in Kendall when you went into my bedroom to use the bathroom, found a speedo style bathing suit I must have had hanging there, and came prancing out with it on. I remember Sadye screaming – I thought she was literally going to shit.   There is one other thing that we are truly blessed to have in common.  I think you recall my friend Marshall Toplansky and may or may not remember his parents Irma and Eli.  Irma was like a second mother to me.  She passed just last year.  Fortunately I got to go up to Poughkeepsie for her 90th birthday party,  She was in a wheel chair with an oxygen tank, but as alert as ever and surrounded by many long time friends. And of course I prepared a humorous element where I took photos from over the years and captioned them. It is enclosed in case you want to peek. You did not know her to have the personal side of the humor. Not my best – the photos did not give me that much to work with. But it lightened up the event.   Why they come to mind is about 25 years ago I was visiting them in Poughkeepsie. Eli had been a competitive runner in his youth. He was about 70 at the time and could no longer jog but loved to walk, so we took a walk.  That was back when I could take a long walk, speaking of the toll age takes. Now my back aches after 100 yards.  Anyway, we were walking and I said to Eli “As you look back at life at 70 (which at that time I thought was very old – how our perspective changes with time!) … as you look back at life at 70, what strikes you as most important?” Without hesitation he said “the love of a good woman.”   You and I have been so blessed in that regard. We similarly finding it later on in life. I so wish Mom could have met Carole. Mom would be so pleased to know how happy she has made me. And one element of that is our ability to make each other laugh and banter without offense. As I observed your interaction with Phyll over the years I have often thought how similar your relationship seems to be. And, like integrity, a marriage like that is so very, very rare. Maybe 10% of marriages at most?  We are so lucky.   I have a number of photo collages hanging on the wall of my office here. One is a photo of you, Phyll and me at my townhome when I was in law school.  You still had red hair and mine was long enough to half cover my ears. And Phyll has such a glowing smile in that photo. You – eh, not so much. ☺  I see it often and think of you both.   There are many other memories, like the look on your face when I would put one by you on the tennis court. But I'll stop.   Mostly Alan I just wanted to write and make sure you know how much you have meant to me in my life, and what a positive influence you have had on it.  I'm choking up thinking about it. And perhaps because we are so similar is so many ways, over the years as I watched age take its toll on you, I often looked at you and felt like I was looking into a mirror but 20 years into the future.   At 46 approaching 50 I thought I was getting old. Hah!  What a laugh that is now.  Now 46 seems so young.  So for you at what, 87 or 88 now, my whining about age at 66 probably seems like a joke.  But, I have outlived both Mom and Dad by more than a decade and do wonder is it the 8th inning I am in or bottom of the 9th? We never know.   I hope you are not letting the exhaustion stop you from taking whatever measures you can to continue to try to find out what is causing this and get past it.  As I have told you before, I am counting on you to eloquently say nice things at my funeral!   Thinking of you daily and please tell Phyll I am thinking of her as well.   Aka Eagle Man   Hi, I'm Carole Baskin and I've been writing my story since I was able to write, but when the media goes to share it, they only choose the parts that fit their idea of what will generate views.  If I'm going to share my story, it should be the whole story.  The titles are the dates things happened. If you have any interest in who I really am please start at the beginning of this playlist: http://savethecats.org/   I know there will be people who take things out of context and try to use them to validate their own misconception, but you have access to the whole story.  My hope is that others will recognize themselves in my words and have the strength to do what is right for themselves and our shared planet.     You can help feed the cats at no cost to you using Amazon Smile! Visit BigCatRescue.org/Amazon-smile   You can see photos, videos and more, updated daily at BigCatRescue.org   Check out our main channel at YouTube.com/BigCatRescue   Music (if any) from Epidemic Sound (http://www.epidemicsound.com) This video is for entertainment purposes only and is my opinion.  Closing graphic with permission from https://youtu.be/F_AtgWMfwrk  

3P's In A Podcast-Is It Gay In Here Or Is It Just Me?
Pet Peeves & Eye Rolls-It's All About The 'Skort'

3P's In A Podcast-Is It Gay In Here Or Is It Just Me?

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 23, 2022 34:48


The 3 Ps Boyz get to "Kvetch" about their Pet Peeves and boy oh boy are they good at it.From The Oscars to shredded jeans, no topic is safe.

Contrary Gardens
If I may kvetch for a moment & the Oscar wrap-up! Episode 15

Contrary Gardens

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 3, 2022 19:30


Episode 15 marks a return to the closet recording, no guests, just a little complaining and a little about the Oscars. I gotta share my view of the Oscars, even though it's all been said. Also I guessed 11 out of the 23 winners, so that's not too bad. Enjoy!! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Go Kvetch!
No Kvetch Episode 2 (Eat Fresh)

Go Kvetch!

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 17, 2022 72:23


In this special Purim No Kvetch Episode Sidney doesn't kvetch about McDonalds, Uel doesn't kvetch about pandemic internet trends, and we all learn, what one might call, an unexpected number of Animal Kvells. Article mentioned in episode: https://onehundredpages.wordpress.com/2013/06/12/dont-make-fun-of-renowned-dan-brown/

Storybeat with Steve Cuden
Charles Rosenay, Actor-Author-Promoter-Episode #192

Storybeat with Steve Cuden

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 1, 2022 66:44


Charles Rosenay has been in the entertainment business for over four decades as an actor, promoter, music aficionado, entertainer, MC, DJ, humorist, and author.Most recently, he released the highly acclaimed book, Monsters, Celebrities, Actors, Athletes, and Rock Stars: The Book of Top 10 Horror Lists, which contains 100 top ten lists from pop-culture notables. Charles even include Steve Cuden's Top 10 Horror list in his truly wonderful book.  Since 1978, Charles has produced Beatles Conventions and Festivals, and since 1983 he's been the organizer and host of the “Magical History Tour” which brings Beatles fans to Liverpool and London. For over 20 years, Charles published and edited one of the world's most famous Beatles/Sixties magazines, “Good Day Sunshine.” Charles has also promoted Monkees conventions since the early 80s. As an MC, Charles has shared the stage with countless entertainment figures, including Charles Grodin, Geraldo Rivera, and the late Danny Aiello. Charles was an on-air host on the QVC/Home Shopping Network. He's also a professional comedic auctioneer, and has developed the horror host persona of “Cryptmaster Chucky” for Scared Stiff TV.Additionally, Charles is an accomplished actor with credits on over 40 films, TV shows, and commercials. He has appeared in Flight of the Conchords, All Screwed Up, The Truth About Lies, Kvetch, The Sadist, and the webisode series Winners. He was most recently featured in the thriller, Night at The Eagle Inn. Charles also leads Dracula Tours in Transylvania and GHOSTours in England.

The Jacobin Sports Show
Kvetch and Shoot

The Jacobin Sports Show

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 30, 2021 59:24


Hell is other people and in this episode Matthew & Jonah take aim at a number of them: Manchester City for the Cristiano Ronaldo-to-United stunner, the NY Post for juxtaposing Benjamin Mendy's rape charges with his career resume, the New York Mets for Mets-ing, the media for confusing "immaculate" and "perfect," and people making fun of the Dell & Sonya Curry breakup. Matthew even reveals a newfound resentment of his own fandom. L'enfer c'est tout le monde. Follow the Jacobin Sports Show on Twitter: @JacobinSports Email us: jacobinsports@gmail.com

Two Kosh Girls
Episode 12: Celebrating Bad*** Jewesses Ft. Rebecca Kerzner (That's So Kvetch Podcast Host)

Two Kosh Girls

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 15, 2021 50:51


In honor of Women's History Month, Two Kosh Girls highlight Jewish women that we find inspiring from the past and the present. We talk with incredible Jewish content creator, podcast producer, and soon-to-be children's book illustrator Rebecca Kerzner, who also happens to be a close college bestie of ours. We chat about our favorite Jewish pop culture icons, biblical characters, and our personal female inspirations. Rebecca dives into the story of Tamar, and how she took control of her own narrative. You'll also hear about the wild story of Purim, and how we celebrated this year in Israel and New York. Follow Rebecca's creative adventures and projects via her instagram @rebeccakdraws. As always, stay tuned for our Kosh boy of the week. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/twokoshgirls/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/twokoshgirls/support