That's So Kvetch!

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That’s So Kvetch is a podcast about Jewish dating, Torah texts, feminism, and more. Featuring Jewish change-makers that open up a conversation around taboo topics in the Jewish community.

Rebecca Kerzner


    • Apr 10, 2025 LATEST EPISODE
    • every other week NEW EPISODES
    • 37m AVG DURATION
    • 68 EPISODES


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    Latest episodes from That's So Kvetch!

    Alex Porcelain: Would We Even Be Friends in America?

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 10, 2025 46:44


    Future Olim - this one's for you. In this episode, I sit down with one of my oldest friends in Israel, Alex Porcelain, to talk about what it's really like to move here and start over. We cover everything from navigating grocery stores, Hebrew mistakes, navigating bureaucracy, and that moment when Israel starts to feel like home. We both reflect on how you don't need to change who you are to live here, you just need to try. We talk about belonging, missing home, friends who are thinking about making Aliyah, and why we wish more people would take the leap. It's not impossible. Eventually, you just… live here. We end with some hot takes and a little Porcedawg TikTok magic, of course.(0:00–3:38) – Intro(3:38–12:40) – The early stages of Aliyah: excitement, confusion, and first impressions(12:40–16:11) – Feeling Israeli and the journey of learning Hebrew(16:11–26:00) – Honest advice for acclimating to Israeli life(26:00–32:00) – Bureaucracy, more Hebrew, and learning to navigate the system(32:00–40:00) – Being far from home and watching friends make the leap(40:00–end) – Alex's TikTok journey

    Shira Sa'ar: Handling Nuance During Wartime

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 26, 2025 42:35


    In this episode, I chat with my coworker and first Israeli guest on the podcast, Shira Sa'ar! We talk about identity, culture, and the realities of life in Israel. We discuss the different Jewish subcultures in Israel, from Mizrahi to Ashkenazi, and compare them to Jewish communities in the U.S. Then we get into Shira's perspective on political correctness, stereotypes, and why Israeli discourse often leaves little room for complexity. Then, we finish off with a fun game comparing Israeli and American words and Yiddish slang! 0:00 - 7:22 | Shira's army service and upbringing 8:40 - 14:22 | Jewish subcultures in America vs. Israel 14:22 - 20:00 | Stereotypes, racism, and social divisions in Israel 20:00 - 25:30 | The role of nuance and complexity in Israeli discourse 25:30 - 32:39 | Dating norms, meeting the parents, and cultural expectations 32:39 - End | Israeli vs. American slang + Yiddish quiz

    Abby Yucht: Poetry, Aliyah & the Messy Beauty of Israel

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 12, 2025 47:50


    In this episode, I chat with Abby Yucht—fellow immigrant, poet, and case manager with a masters in social work. We dive into the question: Do artists have to be dramatic, or does drama just come with the territory? We explore the role of art in life's chaos, creating street poems, and what it means to be an artist during difficult times.Our conversation weaves together a full  world—bouncing between getting poetry published, the magic of Jerusalem, and the ever-evolving experience of Aliyah. We dive into reverse culture shock, and how place shapes personality, while laughing about cultural differences, and using our American-ness for good.(0:00) – Intro(4:50 - 9:54) – Abby's creative journey: from a cappella to poetry(9:54 - 17:40) – What does it mean to be an artist? + Poetry talk(17:30 - 20:00) – Art after October 7th(20:00 - 30:06) – Publishing poetry + Abby shares “Jerusalem Scenes” poem(30:06 - 39:48) – How Aliyah changed Abby's perspective(40:00 - end) – Advice to her younger self

    Jude Bronstein: Disability Advocacy, Mental Health & Owning the Struggle

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 26, 2025 45:09


    In this episode, I chat with Jude Bronstein, a disability advocate and fellow olah. We discuss what their life is like dealing with having cerebral palsy, how to be a disabilities advocate and owning your struggles without pushing yourself too hard. Jude shares how to learn to accept your different states of mind rather than resist them.I hope you appreciate this real, down-to-earth and honest episode. Follow Jude's work at disabledreamer.com or on Instagram @disabledreamer.(0:00-4:00) - Jude is a long time podcast listener!(4:00-15:00) - Cerebral Palsy and writing as a coping mechanism(15:00-26:51) - Being a disability advocate(26:51-35:00) - How to build a positive mindset during difficult times(35:00-38:00) - IFS theories (38:00-end) - Advice for getting through hard times 

    Ryan: Starting Over Jewishly

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 13, 2025 47:00


    In true “wandering Jew” fashion, in this episode I chat with fellow Jerusalemite, film-maker, artist, writer, and now future Jewish educator! From Paris to Estonia to Jerusalem, Ryan has really explored himself in a variety of facets. From teaching himself yiddish to being a French boujee film maker to making all kinds of art, he leaves no stone unturned.We talk about the importance of going out of your comfort zone and not limiting yourself to being one type of Jew. I hope you enjoy this artsy and whimsical episode.(0:00-7:38) - Ryan's windy journey from Paris to Estonia to Jerusalem!(7:38-10:21) - Jewish upbringing and being a patrilineal Jew(10:21 -16:15) - Writing Yiddish in the snow(16:15-21:00) - Ryan's awakening in Jerusalem + Rebecca's final college art project(21:00 -27:00) - Adjusting to Jerusalem life (27:00-32:20) - Jewish expression can change and grow (32:20 - 40:00) - Tennis metaphor(40:00 -end) - Final lessons and breakthroughs

    Emma: When Your Roommate is an Anti-Zionist

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 30, 2025 47:22


    In this episode, I chat with my roommate Emma, who lived with me for the past 10 months for research abroad in pursuing her Phd. Emma and I come from very different backgrounds in our zionism, and we really got into some hard-hitting questions about terrorism, colonialism, and the establishment of Israel. Though there were moments we disagreed, I felt grateful for our cordial and cathartic conversation. My goal was to share my belief in the importance of open dialogue and creating space for different perspectives. (0:00-5:30)- About the PHD and wartime in Israel (5:30-9:30) - Emma's upbringing  (9:30-13:55) - Being complicit in your country's crimes  (13:55-20:10) - How is Israel supposed to combat terrorism? What is terrorism? (20:10-27:25) - Is Israel placed on a higher moral ground than other places and is it antisemitism? (27:25-35:22) - The founding of Israel and settler colonialism (35:22-43:10) - Rebecca's reflections on her journey in Aliyah and Zionism (43:10-end) - Emma's last thought on anti-Zionism and progressive values

    The Pod is Back! NYC, Grapes, and Believing in Yourself

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 13, 2025 28:20


    Welcome to a brand new season of The Wandering Jew! In this episode, I chat about where I've been, what the new podcast will be about, stories from my recent trip in New York visiting family and friends, eating grapes on new years with a group of strangers, and a little pep-talk about believing in yourself. I hope you enjoy this light introduction episode.  Baby we're back!  (0:00-3:29) - How the new pod will be different from That's So Kvetch! (3:329-10:43) - What I've been up to and NYC nostalgia (10:43-13:22) - Spanish grapes superstition on New Years (13:22-23:35) - Confidence tips from career coach, and strategies to believe in yourself (23:25-end) -  Making space for new dreams final blessing + explanation of the wandering jew

    Maggi Feldman Deutsch: Are Spiritual Lows Really Lows?

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 10, 2023 44:02


    This episode is for all spiritual seekers out there! In this episode, I chat with Maggi, who runs her own art business based in Jerusalem. Together we discuss the ups and downs of her spiritual journey and how to deal when you hit a spiritual low. Also an olah chadashah, we begin with her Aliyah story and what inspired her to move in the first place. Then we dive into how things spiritually shifted for her through trauma and life changes, and what happened when she stopped feeling as connected. We explore questions like: What does God really want from us? Does he tally our actions? What do you do when your family isn't as religious? Does God want us to push ourselves to do things that don't feel authentic to ourselves? I hope you enjoy this cathartic and vulnerable episode.  (0:00 -11:26) - Birthright, spiritual experiences and conversion (11:26-22:00) - Leaving seminary and new questions arising (22:00-28:00) - What are all these rules really about? (28:00-35:00) - The role of religious guilt and shame, and why is religion so divisive? (35:00-42:00) - Owning yourself and self compassion (42:00-end) - final blessing

    Unicorns, Beards, and The Stages of Acclimating to Israel

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 17, 2023 37:32


    In this episode, I dive into the stages of moving to a new country. Future olim, this episode is for you! I start off with a debrief from last week's incredible Purim celebration. I dressed as a man and the cross-dressing experience lent to a very fun social experiment and I share all the hilarious reactions as well as an exploration of masculinity vs. femininity. Then, I dive into the 5 stages of acclimating to a new country, share stories from learning Hebrew, difficult Saturday nights, to building up my confidence. It's amazing to look back at how much things have changed and evolved. Lastly, I finish off with a little piece of Torah and a meditation on redemption and what it can bring to our own lives. As always, you can email thatssokvetch18@gmail.com for any ideas or thoughts that came up for you! (0-3:38)- Intro (3:38-15:40) - Purim debrief and reactions to my costume (15:40-27:24) - 1st three stages, culture and language barriers (27:24-32:37) - Assimilation, biculturalism, and snails? (32:37-end) - Torah on redemption and final blessing!

    Bodhi River: How to Give Yourself Closure

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 2, 2023 44:37


    In this episode, I have a conversation with Bodhi River, community builder, bodyworker, and soon-to-be joining a school for communal learning in Italy! Together, we dive into how to let go and create closure for yourself in situations when you don't get it. Through a series of metaphors from the blue ball to the regenerative cake, we talk about dealing with rejection, having healthy boundaries, loving ourselves, and feeling full all on our own. We can truly depend on ourselves to give ourselves love! I hope you'll enjoy this cathartic and hopeful episode. Happy listening! (0:00-10:18)- Bodhi's life at the kibbutz (10:18-15:00) How to notice when you are giving yourself away (15:00-27:00) Refueling yourself all on your own (27:00-35:55) Managing desires, expectations on others, and self-regulating on dating apps (35:55 -end) Embracing your inner child + final blessing

    Season 2: The Science Behind Love

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 17, 2023 42:31


    That's So Kvetch is back and just in time for Valentine's Day! In honor of the day, I wonder about my relationship with love, why I am so attracted to it, and how it's impacted me both positively and negatively. Why does love make people go so dumb? It's based in science! I talk about the chemicals and hormones behind love. Lastly, I talk about the important role of having hope and believing in order to get to love. We need to be kind to ourselves when we experience these feelings because it is so human to want to connect with someone else. I hope you'll enjoy this honest and validating episode. Cheers to a brand-new season! (0:00-7:30) - Why I left and why I'm back! (7:30-11:30) - Redefining being a Jew in Jerusalem (11:30-18:00) - Intro - Why am I so obsessed with love? (18:00-28:55) - The science behind lust, attraction, and attachment (28:55 -33:30) - Hope is the first step to getting to love (33:30 -end) - Dating catch up, my current dating mentality, and pep-talk! Email Thatssokvetch18@gmail.com for thoughts, ideas, or questions!

    New Beginnings + Unboxing Myself

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 13, 2021 40:19


    If you are in a moment in your life where you are wondering “where am I going next?” or “how am I going to create the future I want?”, then this episode is for you! Also for my close friends, consider this a grand catch-up! In this reflective episode, I chat about the ups and downs of living in Jerusalem. I go into detail about why I moved, and share cute stories about crying on the trains, dancing in the shuk on Hanukkah, practicing my Hebrew on dating apps, and more! I also chat about some of the things I've been struggling with and observations about Israeli culture and why I actually really vibe with it. Ultimately, it is difficult to be in a state of flux, but it is also ok to be in a state of finding. This hopeful and calm episode will surely entertain you. Happy listening! (0:00- 7:32) Where I'm at in life right now (7:32-19:00) Wonderful moments with Israeli people (19:00-24:30) Concerts, artsy things and cigarettes (24:30-29:00) Bubby cart Osherad fiasco (29:26-34:15) 7 Things I've learned so far (34:15-end) The in-between phase is hard

    Jewish Good Girls vs. Bad Girls and Lilith's Awesomeness

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 27, 2021 40:28


    I enjoy diving into stigmas and talking about Jewish culture, and this episode is non other than that. First, I share updates and funny stories from my new life in Israel. Then, I chat about the stereotype of being a Jewish good girl and bad girl and how it's affected me, and how I think it affects the Jewish world. I also share the scandalous story of Lilith and her symbolism in Jewish feminist lore. Happy listening! (0:00-9:14) Intro and funny moments in Israel (9:14-12:20) Why this topic is important (12:20-18:42) Adam and Lilith's fight (18:42-22:25) Bad girl stigma heart spill (22:25-31:11) why this stereotype happened and cognitive dissonances in Judaism (31:11-34:00) How to deal with feeling like a “bad girl” (34:00-end) obscure midrashim and conclusion

    My Personal Lech Lecha and The Story of a Jewish Femme Fatale

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 15, 2021 30:25


    I moved to Jerusalem in Israel - to a land that Hashem will show me the way - my own personal Lech Lecha journey. In this episode, I chat about the recent move, and the big and little adjustments that I've dealt with in the two weeks I've been here. Then, I share a story from the Gemara about a woman named Homa and R' Hisda's daughter. (Which I learned at Pardes from Gila Fine!) In the story, Rabba becomes aroused by the skin of his dead friend's wife and runs home to consummate his urge with his wife. You'll have to listen to hear what happens next and learn about ironies and hypocrisies within the story. This is a juicy one. Happy listening! (0:00-12:37) - Little and big adjustments (12:37-17:32) - What transcends language? (17:32-26:00) The story of Homa, the femme fatale (26:00 -29:00) Hasidut question: Should love come from the mind or the heart? (29:00 -end) My blessing to you!

    Feeling Like “Too Much”, Breakups, and Summer Memories

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 17, 2021 35:29


    This episode is for the sensitive people out there! In this reflective episode, I chat about a variety of topics, from some announcements in my personal life to the story of Chana's prayer, feeling like “too much”, breakups and more. The concept of being “too much” has come up for me in a variety of aspects of life, and I wanted to talk about the struggles behind feeling this way, the beauty of feeling, and why it is good to stay soft and open. Then, I share two moments when I felt the connectedness of everyone dealing with something. Then I chat about how Chana from the Torah was seen as “too much” in her story and what we can learn from that story. Then we talk about breakups, and I share some tips from a recent one I experienced, and end with a blessing, as always. This episode was cathartic and calming and I hope you enjoy listening! (0:00-9:16) - Announcements (9:16-13:52) - What does it mean to be “too much”? (13:52-17:14) Examples from life (17:14-20:09) Summer reflections and the time of transition (random tangent?) (20:09-26:50) The story of Chana, and some halakhot of prayer (26:50 -end) Breakups!

    Boris Kerzner: How To Be More Sustainable

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 31, 2021 47:43


    In this episode, I chat with my older brother Boris, all about sustainability, Jewish journeys, parenting, and more! I'm always looking to improve environmentally, and Boris shared some of his best tips with me, on how to be kinder to our planet. Boris shares his career journey from software engineering to sustainable landscape design and we learn all about the wonders of growing your own food. Also, when Boris was my age, he quit his job and moved to India for four months, and we hear more about why he chose that adventure! Then, on parenting, we talk about how Judaism plays a role and the beauty of the rituals and ethics that it provides. Boris knows what he's talking about and his calming and educational voice is sure to bring you some peaceful vibes as well as teach you something new along the way! Happy listening!

    Elena Potek: What's the Deal with Sexual Energy?

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 29, 2021 48:18


    In this episode, I chat with sex educator and coach Elena Potek. Elena works one-on-one with clients to help them harness their sexual energy, reframe old narratives around sexuality, and get in touch with their most authentic selves. I am fascinated by this concept of sexual energy and what it means and how we can tap into it and Elena helps answer all my questions. Then we talk about ideas surrounding sexuality that Elena learned growing up in an Orthodox environment and Elena shares her journey on how she moved away from that mindset. Along the way, we discuss the virginity construct, Elena shares some funny stories from her travels, and we finish off with a conversation about self-confidence and battling self-doubt. I especially loved Elena's point about how people mirror each other's energy and how the energy you put out into the world is the energy you will get back. Happy listening! Follow Elena on Instagram at @Elena_potek and check out her website to find out more! Sexual energy playlist curated by Elena: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4sDM6klCjjDCQkD9OtzTR0?si=b562b52ba2834a07 (0:00-5:58) Intro (5:58-12:00) sexual energy FAQ (12:00-18:06) Growing up orthodox and how that impacted Elena (18:06-25:50) the stigma of losing virginity (25:50-29:57) lessons learned from backpacking in South America (29:57-34:48) What do people struggle with most? (34:48- 39:30) Issues in sex ed and dealing with shame (39:30-end) some positive dating related advice

    Alan Avitan: How To Get Excited About Dating Again

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 15, 2021 41:17


    In this episode, I chat with friend of the pod, Alan Avitan, low-key dating coach, upper-west sider, and great advice giver. We chat about how to make the first move in big group scenes, both from the girl's and guys' perspectives. Then we talk about how the dating system favors men and why that is. Alan really speaks to the difficulties women face and the reality of the unequal nature of the dating game. It's definitely not smooth sailing out there, but we're all in it together. Alan's positive attitude will surely inspire you. Happy listening! (00:00-6:21) Intro and catch up (6:21-13:35) making the first move (13:35-16:33) post-pandemic carpe diem spirit (16:33-23:51) different tactics and taking risks (23:51-34:21) how the shidduch system is geared towards men (34:21-37:48) Are there more girls than guys out there? (37:48-end) Don't be shy! It's 2021 baby

    All About Self-Sabotage

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 1, 2021 43:45


    In this episode, I chat all about the ups and downs of self-sabotaging, both in the Torah and in my own experiences. Before we dive in, I share some changes I've felt in myself since we have started returning to “normalcy”. Then, I discuss the ways self-sabotage manifests and how it relates to me. I share a tragic yet entertaining story with an ex from college and reflect on my patterns in dating. Then, we bring in the good ol' Torah characters to share their self-sabotaging stories. This is an intense topic, and yet still, I manage to laugh and have a good time while discussing, so I hope listening to this episode is cathartic and fun for you! (0:00-7:25) The carpe diem vibe of June (7:25-11:12) social anxiety and dating break (11:12-15:20) the psychology of self-sabotage (15:20-25:40) ex story (25:40-29:09) why we do it (29:09-38:36) Shimshon the womanizer and others (38:36-end) reframing the narrative

    Shot Girl Summer and Social Exhaustion

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 11, 2021 35:48


    This episode is about the recent influx of socialization in life and reflecting on the mental health effects of the pandemic. I unpack the overwhelming feelings that come with adjusting to a busier life post-vaccine. I start off by sharing a funny story from my adventures on the Clubhouse social media app and then move to a larger conversation about mental health. I reflect on a recent party I threw, CDC's new guidelines, and how I want to hold on to all my recent awesome memories. Then I dive into the larger picture of mental health effects of the pandemic worldwide, both negative and positive, to give space to all the trauma and pain our world has and continues to suffer through. I reflect personally on the past year and a half and the different waves of emotion I've gone through. Lastly, I end off by sharing some encouraging words to remind us to slow down and be patient and kind with ourselves as we process all of these feelings. (0:00-6:10)-Intro and updates (6:10-12:17) my embarrassing Clubhouse story (12:17-18:05) Recent fun parties memories (18:05-19:46) reflecting on worldwide mental health during the pandemic (29:46-31:28) why socializing has been harder post-pandemic (31:28-end) The final takeaway

    Dr. Batsheva Marcus: Why Sex Fantasies are a Good Thing

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 4, 2021 35:52


    In this episode, we return to chat with Dr. Bat Sheva Marcus, certified sex therapist and the Clinical Director of Maze Women's Sexual Health, host of the podcast “Joy of Text”, and awesome woman. We talk about her new book Sex Points, the importance of fantasy, and how to tackle the guilt and shame that surrounds sex. Happy listening! Buy the book anywhere books are sold from Barnes and Noble to Amazon by searching Sex Points by Dr. Batsheva Marcus.

    Shira Lankin Sheps: Living Through Pain

    Play Episode Listen Later May 26, 2021 49:15


    In honor of mental health awareness month, I chat with Shira Lankin Sheps, editor-in-chief of the Layers Project Magazine. The Layers Project is an online magazine for Jewish women focusing on the challenges and triumphs of their lives. The magazine focuses on breaking the stigma to create a community that is centered around healing and connection. We talked about the process of catharsis that undergoes when people share these stories online. Then, our conversation took a spiritual turn to discuss the role of God and faith in dealing with mental health issues. We ended off with Shira sharing some interesting thoughts about Kabbalah, the expansion of women's power through history, redemption, and the many challenges that come with advocating for feminism in the Orthodox world. Check out The Layers Project Magazine at thelayersprojectmagazine.com FB and Instagram: @thelayersproject Order Shira's new book “Layers” at Koren publishers online at korenpub.com (0:00-13:42) Intro and the recent war in Israel (13:39-17:30) What is the Layers Project? (17:30-25:00) Meaning-making and narrative therapy (25:00-34:00) Life lessons from running the magazine and the role of faith in dealing with mental health issues (34:00-end) The changing roles of women and feminism

    Shira Feen: How To Travel Solo and Own The City

    Play Episode Listen Later May 14, 2021 33:23


    In this episode, I chat with a dear bestie of mine, Shira Feen, a fellow Jewess and design professional currently residing on the Upper West Side. We talk about the origin story of Shira's famous catchphrase, “own the city” Then, we hear more about Shira's recent solo trip she took to the Grand Canyon and Sedona, Arizona. She shares some valuable travel info, from Airbnb experiences to hiking alone, selfie sticks, and more! To reach Shira, you can dm her on Instagram @shirafeen (0:00-2:59) Intro (2:59-9:00) Miguel concert, hype girls, and how to own the city (9:00-25:14) Travel tips! (25:14-end) Our favorite memories together

    Rabbi Scott Kahn: Does God Judge Us?

    Play Episode Listen Later May 6, 2021 52:06


    In this episode, I chat with Rabbi Scott Kahn, co-host of the Intimate Judaism and Orthodox conundrum podcast. Intimate Judaism deals with intimacy and healthy sexuality in the context of Jewish family while remaining firmly in the bounds of halacha and the Orthodox conundrum podcast focuses on major issues that affect the Orthodox word. Together, we dive into a serious conversation to address some tough questions about how to deal with the tensions of Jewish law and today's realities: Does God judge us? Are there certain cases when it is ok to violate Jewish law? What is the role of halachic authorities in dealing with the emotions of others? How can we understand the difference between acceptance versus approval? Rabbi Kahn shares his thoughtful approach through examples from the Torah, allegories, and personal reflections. This thought-provoking episode is sure to get your mind buzzing. Happy listening! (0:00-11:34) Toxic masculinity, but mostly how people don't talk about sex enough in the Orthodox community (11:34-25:00) Shomer negiah, but mostly does God Judge us? (25:00-30:44) Finding space in the Jewish world for LGBTQ folks (30:44-41:23) Porn, but mostly what is the role of halachic authorities? (41:23-end) Is saying “we don't know what God wants” always a good enough answer?

    Rena Levene: Erotic Foods, IBS, and Self Esteem

    Play Episode Listen Later May 4, 2021 46:02


    In this episode, I chat with Rena Levine, a dear friend of mine to chat about all things food-related with dating. We discuss everything from our worst food date stories, to dealing with IBS, to food anxiety. Then we share some general dating insecurities and analyze a text conversation together. Rena is a natural podcast host and this episode is sure to bring you lots of laughs and good vibes. Happy listening! (00:00-12:10) food themed worst date stories) (12:10-17:10) dealing with IBS and how it affects dating (17:10-25:21) Food anxiety and favorite recipes (25:21-30:52) erotic foods, self-esteem with food (30:52-36:50) self-esteem in dating (36:50-end) Do you need a spark right away in dating?

    Zak Benarroch: How Do You Know If You Are In Love?

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 26, 2021 38:29


    In this episode, I chat with next-door neighbor Zak about *drum roll please* dating! In the Modern-Orthodox world — how exciting! We talk about breakups, stigmas, red flags, and the struggle of trying to find someone who matches you religiously. Hope you enjoy this fun light-hearted episode! (0:00-3:40) Intro (3:40-9:23) Guys and breakups (9:23-11:40) Covid has changed dating (11:40-22:00) Red Flag or dealbreaker game (22:08-28:00) How to know if are in love (28:00-end) Getting feedback and dating at the same religious level

    The Soon By You Stigma

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 8, 2021 28:11


    In this reflective episode, I chat about the oft-quoted phrase “soon by you” that is occasionally said to singles at Jewish weddings and engagements. I dig deep into the origin of this phrase and talk about the pressure society places on young people to reach that next step in life, whether it be getting married, having a kid, or buying a house. I reflect on some difficult feelings of inadequacy and dive into why people say “soon by you”. People love order and stability and when someone seems to have it all together, they can rest comfortably. Lastly, I reflect on the truly special moments in my life when I look back. If you are looking for a meditative pep talk of sorts, this episode is for you. Happy listening! (00:00-3:47) Intro (3:47-8:29) Social media as a trigger (8:29-10:26) analyzing the cycle of self-deprecation (10:26-14:33) Why do people say “soon by you”? (14:33-22:53) Kimmy Schmidt taught me how to be single and happy + some special memories (22:53-end) 3 final lessons

    Mandie Peled: Pelvic Health, Orgasms, and Destigmatizing Body Shame

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 2, 2021 47:49


    In this episode, I chat with Mandie Peled, pelvic physical therapist and fellow neighbor in the Heights! Mandie specializes in everything from pelvic pain, to fecal/urinary incontinence, constipation, urinary urgency, prolapse, sexual dysfunction, and musculoskeletal impairments that can occur during and after pregnancy. Together, we talk about how to heal from all kinds of women's health issues with pelvic physical therapy. Mandie debunks misconceptions about anatomy and discusses how to create a more open world when discussing pelvic health. See below for more specifics. Happy listening! (0:00-18:00) all about pelvic floor therapy (18:00-28:40) Closing the orgasm gap and pain with orgasms (28:40-36:00) working with the Jewish Orthodox community (36:00-40:00) similar customs from other religions and normalizing pelvic health (40:00-43:00) How to help a partner struggling with pelvic health (43:00-end) making patients feel comfortable

    101 Bad Dates

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 24, 2021 39:24


    In this episode, I compiled a bunch of stories from you all about one of my favorite “That's So Kvetch” topics, bad date stories! From accidentally hitting a 3-year-old at a mini-golf place, to non-stop conversation about exes, to live performances of original songs, these bad date stories will bring you many laughs guaranteed. Hopefully, you haven't been there, but some of us definitely have. Happy listening and thank you for contributing!

    Maia Groman: On Defining Feminism

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 18, 2021 35:52


    In this episode, I chat with my friend and neighbor Maia Groman, assistant media planner by day and marketing freelancer by night. Maia is the marketing manager of Basheret, a Jewish dating app that caters to young Jews across a religious spectrum. Not a shidduch app or a hookup app, Basheret meets people where they are at in their Jewish journey and finds matches for you! We talk about dating (of course) from our favorite Hinge prompts, to dealing with dating burnout, to top break up tips, and more. Then, in honor of women's history month, we dive into a deeper discussion about what feminism means. Not all feminists burn bras or yell, and everyone can show up in their own unique way. Maia's inspiring voice is sure to boost your day. Happy listening! Download the app here: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/basheret-jewish-dating/id1486274771 (00:00-2:30) Intro (2:30-12:30) dating chatter and breakup tips (12:30-20:12) The Basheret dating app (20:12-23:58) Covid was a break from social anxiety (23:58-30:16) all feminists look different (30:16-end) struggles in our feminist journeys

    Homosexuality in the Torah

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 12, 2021 25:19


    Season 2 of That's So Kvetch is in full swing! In this episode, I journey into the terrain of dealing with homosexuality in the Torah. First, I share the scandalous story where Resh Lakish mistakes Rav Yochanan for a woman and is enchanted by him. Then I dive into Judaism's general attitude towards homosexuality. I listened to a super right-wing shiur to get a different perspective and contemplated some big questions like: Why are some Jews against homosexuality? What do Jews value most in Judaism? Should the Torah be a rule book or a lesson book? This episode is just the tip of the iceberg of part of a developing conversation as I attempt to deal with the cognitive dissonances in Judaism. (0:00-4:07)- Intro (4:07-10:53) The Story of Resh Lakish and Rav Yochanan (10:53-13:58) Commentary on the story (Daniel Boyarin) (13:58-17:20) Different Jewish approaches to homosexuality (17:20 -20:28) Is adding to the Torah corrupting it? (20:28-end) My cognitive dissonance

    The Quarter-life crisis

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 5, 2021 26:18


    In this episode, I chat about the concept of a quarter-life crisis. If you are feeling lost or inadequate or doubting yourself, this episode is for you. I share my feelings about my insecurities, particularly my intellect anxiety and feeling not good or capable enough to accomplish my goals. (Or even knowing what those goals are!) The biggest truth I've realized so far is that nobody really has it together. Lastly, I talk about some helpful mentalities I've used to cope with these feelings and basically finish off with a serious pep talk! Happy listening! (0:00-4:51) Intro and updates on my life (4:51-10:39) Birthday reflections on turning 25 (10:39-12:19) everyone is struggling with the very same thing (12:19-17:48) feeling not good enough and intellect anxiety (17:48-end) The grand pep talk!

    Hart Levine: The Power of Chance Experiences and Dreams

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 8, 2021 48:28


    In this episode, I chat with Hart Levine, the spiritual leader of the Beis Community in Washington Heights. The Beis Community is an intentional community that welcomes diverse Jews together for prayer and spirituality in Washington Heights. We talk about his recent new position at Religious Zionists for America and share some vision ideas together about how to bring Israel's ideological dream-focused mindset to America. We also discuss what it means to be outward-facing, a little Torah, conversations about community, and more. Hart's inspiring voice is sure to bring you hopefulness. Happy listening! Favorite Beis moments (0:00-9:27) Being out-ward facing (9:27-14:06) How the Beis has coped during coronavirus (14:06-19:55) Creating continuity in a transient community (19:55-24:25) Bringing an Israeli lifestyle to America (24:25-38:51) How Hart and Yael met (38:51-end)

    Being Delusional In Dating + Making Asarat B' Tevet Meaningful

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 24, 2020 30:10


    In this episode, I chat about the concept of disillusionment in dating. The pandemic has changed dating in many ways with it having to become a lot more methodical, zoom slowing things down, and recognizing that sometimes it's just nice to get to know another person in a time of isolation! It can get confusing and I share the two lenses that distract from having clarity. Then, we debate the importance of having a dating checklist and the need for good chemistry in a relationship. Most of all, the confusion is driven by the romantic lens that drives a hope to create something meaningful together! Then we dive into the content of Pesachim 31 in Daf Yomi for some words of wisdom. Lastly, I share the background of the upcoming fast Asarat B' Tevet and how to make it relatable and meaningful for ourselves today. Happy listening! (0:00-10:30) The 2 main distraction lenses (Jewish and romantic) (10:30-12:30) What is the point of podcasting about dating? (12:30-15:38) How to deal with the confusion (15:38-22:00) Pesachim 31 and how it relates to dating (22:00-28:27) What's behind the fast of Asarat B'Tevet? (28:27-end) Why Jews eat Chinese food on Christmas?

    The Nice Jewish Girl Stereotype

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 4, 2020 25:14


    In this episode, I chat about my dislike for the Nice Jewish Girl and Nice Jewish Boy stereotype. Having these labels so present in Jewish culture creates a lot of negative impacts both on the personal level and communal level. The aspirational NJB or NJG title is a little arbitrary, can be used as a cover-up for unethical morals, and puts people on an unnecessary pedestal. We also celebrate a whole year of “That's so Kvetch!” episodes (the anniversary was November 15)! with a reflection on what I've learned over the year, both in dating and in life - most importantly, to never compromise yourself in dating. :) Cheers to an uplifting episode! (0:00-12:06) NJG and NJB stereotype (12:06-13:19) How to combat the stereotype (13:19-19:43 ) Lessons I've learned about dating and torah (19:43-20:34 ) Lessons about “everything in between” (20:34-22:11 ) Is it good to be a romantic? (22:11-end ) The things I'm still learning!

    Yael Brodsky Levine: All about That Beis (and some on Marriage Privilege)

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 29, 2020 47:59


    In this episode, I chat with the amazing Yael Brodsky Levine, Beis Community leader who works in storm recovery and mitigating future natural disasters. Yael is passionate about environmental causes and Jewish feminism - what a great combo! Join us as we talk about the history of the Beis Community, what it's like teaching kallah classes, marriage privilege in society, and how to combat climate change. The Beis Community is an intentional Jewish community that provides a spiritual home where all are welcome and celebrated, and transcends expectations of routine Orthodoxy. Currently, the Beis offers safe distanced prayer options, meals in the park (it's not too cold yet!), and a friendly chevra. Follow us on Facebook! (0:00 - 12:00)- About Yael's career in storm recovery (14:00 -27:07 )- The history and values of the Beis Community (27:07 - 34:26) The Stigma of the “rebbetzin” title and marriage privilege (34:26 - 41:45) Teaching Kallah classes (41:45 - end) My Jewish role model and lessons I've learned

    Alan Avitan: How to Date During A Covid Winter

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 5, 2020 46:39


    In this episode I chat with Alan Avitan, Upper-West Sider from Cleveland and social media marketer. Three years ago, after he was mentioned on a JSwipe article as one of "The 42 Most Popular Men On JSwipe", Alan started his own dating consultation business, called The Right Swipe. We talk about how dating has changed for us both in the pandemic and how we plan to navigate the colder winter months. Then, Alan shares some awesome zoom and in-person date ideas. This positive and inspiring episode will surely uplift you! Happy listening! About Alan and The Right Swipe (00:00-11:37) Struggles of Zoom dating (11:37-19:03) Roasting my Hinge profile (19:03-29:46) How to Date in Covid Winter (29:46-34:45) Covid winter zoom and in-person date ideas (34:45-end)

    Dr. Bat Sheva Marcus: An Honest Conversation About Judaism and Sex

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 30, 2020 46:03


    In this episode, I chat with Dr. Bat Sheva Marcus, a certified sex therapist and the Clinical Director of Maze Women's Sexual Health, host of the podcast “Joy of Text”, and amazing woman! We start off with discussing her journey to becoming a sex therapist and where her mind was at in her 20's. Then, we go on to discuss masterbation and how the role halacha plays in having a healthy sex life. Next up- we discuss sex education in Jewish environments, and how sexual guilt and shame impacts all people, not just religious Jews. Lastly, we touch on (no pun intended) the topics of shomer negiah and sexual guilt, and the nuances within both. Happy listening! Why Dr. Batsheva became a sex therapist (0:00-9:35) Masterbation and halachic premise behind it (9:35-15:00) Being open with your kids about sex (15:00-24:00) When should girls start masterbating? (24:00-31:35) Shomer negiah and sexual compatibility(31:35-40:00) Sex education and nature versus nurture (40:00-end)

    Dressing Like a Woman and Queerphobia in the Jewish Community (Gavi @eatingaroundisrael)

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 23, 2020 47:37


    In this episode, I chat with Gavi from @eatingaroundIsrael on Instagram - food tour guide and Jewish queer activist on Instagram! Gavi's journey began in the Five Towns, then to HaKotel for 2 years, then Hesder, and now resides in Tel Aviv! Together, we discuss gender expression, dressing in drag (shout out to Shaindy!), and envisioning the normalization and acceptance of queer people in Jewish Orthodox communities. Then we go into a larger conversation about Judaism's attitude towards sexuality, advocating for frum women, and understanding the holy mitzvah of the mikveh ritual immersion. Happy listening! Queer topics and Gavi's story (0:00-25:12) Sexuality in Judaism (25:12-32:38) Advocating for frum women + Is mikveh sexy? (32:28-38:42) Living your truth and religious hypocrisy (38:42-43:13) Empathy and acceptance (43:13-end)

    Break Up Remedies and The Secrets of Kohelet

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 9, 2020 35:32


    In this episode, I chat about the book of Kohelet and breakups! Undoubtedly, break ups are a part of life. But they are utter crap. I talk about some things I've learned along the way on how to cope with them. Healing isn't linear, and it's okay and good to mourn the loss of a relationship. Then, I talk about the book of Kohelet, which is read on Shemini Atzeret. Kohelet responds to what we need most to remember during the time of a pandemic, when things are hard and different. So many nuggets of wisdom in this one about companionship, gratefulness, Jewish guilt, and more. Then, I share some Torah words from Lord Jonathan Saks on how such a sad book relates to Sukkot, the happiest time of the year. Cheers to an inspiring episode! Breakups (0:00-13:49) Intro and Kohelet summary (13:49- 28:25) Kohelet's's relation to joy mini dvar (28:25-end)

    Changing Yourself For a Partner

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 2, 2020 22:38


    In this episode, I chat about changing emotionally, spiritually, and religiously for a partner. This topic is widely contested and feels different for every person across the board. I think it is inevitable that this sometimes happens and people try to please each other at the expense of themselves. Can you spiritually grow with someone? Where do you draw the line and where are your boundaries? I share my struggles with this topic and some of my thoughts on Jewish dating culture. Ultimately, like everything else in life, this is not black and white, and every love story has a chance of working out, no matter how different the two people are! Nevertheless, sometimes we have to go through these tough times to figure out what we truly want and need.

    50 Shades of Tzniut: 2 Opinions on Dressing Modestly

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 25, 2020 41:49


    In this episode, I chat with old friend Basya Hans, content creator at the Jewish Learning Institute. Yay Jewish non-profit world! We begin with a conversation about her ba'al teshuva journey and how we've both grown religiously over the years. We touch on the mission of the Chabad movement and valuing accessibility in Judaism. Then we open up to discussing the multi-faceted mitzvah of dressing modestly! Basya and I shared our opinions on the mitzvah and how it manifests for us. Through chatting, we realized our opinions are very different but it was nice and interesting to engage in a dialogue together. Basya's Jewish Journey (0:00-11:47) Intro on Tzniut (11:47-14:45) Basya's take on Tzniut (14:45-26:50) RK recent Tzniut Journey (26:50- 30:15) Judaism is fluid (30:15- 34:25) The desire to feel sexy (34:25-36:49) It's not all or nothing (36:49- 41:49)

    Slut Shaming in the Torah + Why You Should Start a Podcast!

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 4, 2020 22:35


    In this episode, I start off by chatting about the origin of this podcast and some unexpected benefits it has had for me! If you want to start a podcast, DO it! Then I dive into the unsettling topic of slut shaming and work through the stories of the wayward wife, Sotah, and of Yakkov's daughter Dina. These stories seep into our culture today and I discuss how to deal with reconciling the issues they bring up. There's a lot at play here, from the power of agreement, to mass cultural trends, and the difficulty of breaking embedded norms. Happy listening! Podcast origin (0:00-8:02) Sotah (8:02-14:25) Dinah (14:25-17:12) How to deal with slut shaming today (17:12-end)

    So You Want to Make Aliyah (Part 3) with Jazzie Morgan and Karen Amouyal

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 1, 2020 40:56


    In this episode, I chat with social media guru Jazzie Morgan from @theIsraelBites and Karen Amouyal, old friend from Stern about Aliyah! Jazzie shares how she navigates Israel with Celiac disease, tips on how to be the best chutzpanit, and a recent hilarious date story. Karen recently made Aliyah during the pandemic and sheds light on what her bidud has been like and why Israel is right for her. Happy listening!

    Talia Lakritz: Exploring Sex Taboos in the Orthodox Community

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 24, 2020 45:55


    In this episode, I chat with Talia Lakritz, senior lifestyle reporter for Insider and writer! We talk about Monologues from the Makom, a groundbreaking collection of poetry and prose designed to break the observant Jewish community's taboo against open discussion of female sexuality. In her piece, Talia shares her first experience with touch after being shomer negiah for years. We also discuss affirmative consent, the harmful notion of “all men being dogs” we grew up with, sexuality, shomer negiah in practice, and more! Monologues from the Makom will be released on September 1st and you can pre-order it here: https://benyehudapress.com/books/monologues-from-the-makom/. Follow their Instagram at @mftmakom

    Shimmy Feintuch: The Stories we Tell Ourselves

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 14, 2020 44:17


    In this episode, I chat with Shimmy Feintuch, psychotherapist and fellow Beis Community enthusiast. We discuss the stories we create in our minds when dating, dealing with insecurities, and how to zoom out and see the big picture. He shared some mental health concepts and how to utilize them and some mindfulness techniques. Then, we tackle ways to deal with vulnerability and the most effective ways to relieve ourselves from overthinking. Damn it brain! Let's face it, we are all messy in our own ways at times and that is ok! What a cathartic episode - thank you Shimmy!

    Brina Chu: A Jewish Feminist's Guide to Dating

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 6, 2020 46:35


    In honor of Tu' B'Av, I chat with Brinu Chu, close friend, roommate of 2 years, vegan and fellow Jewish feminist. Brina is a professional in the Jewish non-profit world and together, we dive into many topics at the nexus of Judaism and dating: worst date stories, misogyny, how our upbringing in Jewish spaces shaped our attitudes towards shomer negiah, modesty, niddah, Jewish identity, and even Pandemic Patty makes an appearance. Happy listening!

    So You Want to Make Aliyah? (Part 2) with Sarah Kirshner and Lielle Barth

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 24, 2020 47:12


    The Aliyah-series is in full swing! In this episode, I chat with Sarah Kirshner, graphic designer and marketer in Nachlaot, and Lielle Barth, a recent graduate from Bar Ilan university who is moving to Baka/Katamon area this week! We talk about a bunch of new topics like the culture of Israeli people, how attachment to the land changes over time, crunchy cucumbers, social life in Israel amidst coronavirus, and how important it is to immerse in the Hebrew language. Plus, what's the shidduch crisis like in Israel? Happy listening!

    So You Want to Make Aliyah? (Part 1!) with Dafna Milstein and Roni Buchine!

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 17, 2020 45:08


    Are you considering Aliyah? As part of a new series on That's So Kvetch, I'll be focusing on Aliyah stories from individual people! In this episode, I interview Dafna Milstein, filmmaker, creative writer and English teacher in Pardes Hanna and Roni Buchine, (old friend from Houston roots), who is studying computer science at Machon Lev in Jerusalem. We cover everything from acclimating as an immigrant, to cost of living and salaries, to the healthcare system, a typical shabbat experience, love stories, and more! It's very cathartic to listen in and hear other people's stories and gain insights from them. I hope you enjoy Part 1!

    Roommate Hunting is Like Dating

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 7, 2020 36:39


    After a hiatus, I'm back! In this episode, I start off chatting about some recent life updates, moving apartments, and future plans. Summer is the season of change, and in the process I've noticed how roommate hunting is similar in some ways to dating life! I mean, it's all about making a commitment in the end, am I right? Then, I briefly go on a tangent about Rav Nachman and nature (don't ask) and swerve back to a scandalous and exciting story of triumph by the bad a** ladies Devorah and Yael! This dream team is truly exemplary and if you listen in, you'll find out why! (Plus some wild plot twists along the way). Enjoy!

    Let's Unpack This: White Fragility, Getting Over Exes, and Religion's Role in Dating

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 5, 2020 30:19


    In this episode, I chat about my personal reflections on the Black Lives Matter movement, the positive and negative effects of social media, and my white guilt. It's important to recognize how to be more educated and aware in the Jewish community. If we don't talk about this, nothing will change. Then, I chat about the difficult decisions that come with dating someone of a different religious level than you. Lastly, I discuss the pressure of ‘getting over' someone, and the negative impact that brings. This is a very raw episode. I hope it brings you to feel less alone if you are struggling with something similar.

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