Call Chelsea Peretti

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Beloved comedian Chelsea Peretti takes calls on weekly themed episodes, interacts with callers, and plays special music and sound effects. Lots of discussion of bear attacks, fixation on minutia, and administration of food tests.

Big Money Players Network and iHeartPodcasts


    • Jun 1, 2025 LATEST EPISODE
    • every other week NEW EPISODES
    • 1h 5m AVG DURATION
    • 224 EPISODES

    4.7 from 1,308 ratings Listeners of Call Chelsea Peretti that love the show mention: chelsea peretti, chelsea's, one of the greats, coffee coffee coffee, chelsea is hilarious, made it weird, sys, cactus cactus, jackpot, pcast, iyanla, chelsea is one, p cast, moshe kasher, uh oh, listen to every ep, love chelsea, chelsea is amazing, cranking, hilarious comedian.


    Ivy Insights

    The Call Chelsea Peretti podcast is an absolute gem in the world of comedy podcasts. Chelsea Peretti, a revered comedian and writer, brings her unique brand of humor and wit to each episode, making it a joyride from start to finish. As a self-proclaimed comedy nerd, I couldn't help but fall in love with Chelsea and her hilarious take on various topics. Her inconsistency in releasing episodes reminds me of myself with my own endeavors, so I can't complain. Nonetheless, whenever a new episode drops, you can bet that I'll be eagerly waiting with my oatmilk latte in hand.

    One of the best aspects of this podcast is Chelsea's ability to keep listeners entertained and engaged throughout each episode. Her mind goes everywhere while mortals like us can barely keep up. From the moment she starts speaking until the very end, there's never a dull moment. Whether she's sharing her wisdom and wit or engaging with callers and guests, Chelsea effortlessly draws you into her world of wonder and excitement.

    However, as much as I adore this podcast, it does have its flaws. One recurring issue that some listeners have pointed out is the audio quality during certain episodes. There have been instances where slurping and crunching sounds are directly picked up by the microphone, which can be distracting for some listeners. While it doesn't take away from the overall enjoyment of the podcast for me personally, I understand how it might bother others.

    In conclusion, The Call Chelsea Peretti podcast is truly a must-listen for any comedy enthusiast. Chelsea's ability to bring laughter into our lives is unparalleled. Despite its occasional flaws in audio quality and inconsistent release schedule, this podcast has cemented itself as one of my all-time favorites. If you're looking for a podcast that will make you laugh out loud at your quiet office job or during your daily commute, then look no further than The Call Chelsea Peretti podcast.



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    Latest episodes from Call Chelsea Peretti

    A VERY CHINTZY EPISODE

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 1, 2025 94:30


    Carey is radicalized by Fire Island and drops multiple Dorinda references in this very special, very chintzy episode. His magical tale of going septic and wearing a stent and purse of antibiotics and subsequent digestive woe. Toenail removal and a discussion of disturbing doctors. A lengthy analysis of sunflowers. Conversely, shocking caller opinions on roses. Carey shares dog perfume tips. An exploration of flat Christina Aguilera karaoke. Many helpful PSAs.

    TRYING TO CATCH A VIBE

    Play Episode Listen Later May 18, 2025 61:02


    Chelsea chats with a mightily prestigious crop of guests: an opera choreographer with a hot restaurant tip, a pottery buyer who appraises her piece, and a licensed therapist (presumably) who assesses Chelsea. Discussion of vitello tonnato, sand dunes, pottery accounts, mothers day, and underground parking lots. Chelsea's continued attempts at piquing caller interest in escape rooms effectively fails.

    WINDY WILLIAMS

    Play Episode Listen Later May 4, 2025 66:55


    Chelsea stands on a cliff in the blustery wind and howls out about hair salon culture, brain rot, writing,  boredom, science, explosive news, therapy, love languages, Tate Larae, a brain surgeon and a friend of a friend calls in! A caller celebrates his Fourthcalliversary by negging Chelsea, educating her about basic geography, and soliciting dog custody advice.  

    CAVEMEN DIDN'T MAKE POTTERY???

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 20, 2025 60:33


    Slime and Charcoal chicken obsessed Chelsea and Sabrina freestyle about an upcoming live show endeavor, create TGIF acronyms, argue about chicken soup, discuss color mixing, debt, art, parenting, blah blah blah. Chelsea speaks to some senior who was bullied by a freshman.  

    FECAL MATTERS

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 30, 2025 122:34


    Robby Hoffman, who has 9 siblings, throws Chelsea into the perpetual reaction seat with innumerable hot takes, such as: skin care is a scam, washing hands is bad, trans people are fine, ADHD doesn't exist, etc. Chelsea searches for points of connection, like grilled cheese, a mistrust of Nest, a dislike of cut fruit, and thinking flowers are beautiful. A caller does an unauthorized infomercial for a jeweler.

    TURN LAFFED

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 16, 2025 99:00


    Carmen Christopher joins Chelsea for a chaotic episode full of slime, snacks, and conspiracy theories. They talk about Manson expressions, ADHD vs. meditation, and whether slime could end wars, while Carmen's mom mistakes Chelsea for Chelsea Handler. There's water chugging, prank calls, limes full of boogers, and a passionate debate about soup. 

    NOTHING TO DO BUT SING

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 2, 2025 109:29


    Chelsea struggles with restless leg syndrome and on-camera tics while discussing fires, karaoke, crying hangs, Canada's age, AI, shark attacks, ADHD, pottery perfectionism, sinus issues, a long term plan for escaping the algo, going grey, the power of bird song, and Western medicine inflating life expectancy. A caller sings Mariah from a subway platform. An "apolitical" caller from Texas shares about stealing eggs. A caller offers a lifechanging food test. Wolf howls.

    ASTHMA & CALAMITIES (AND ASMR)

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 2, 2025 111:34


    patreon.com/callchelseaperetti Chelsea explores ASMR—crunchy snacks, plastic sounds, and the perils of ASMR gatekeeping—while fielding calls on parenting through calamities, AQI confusion, and the fleeting magic of sumo oranges. A caller stuck in traffic gets pulled into an immigration deep dive and sings classical Indian music, Chelsea contemplates the hamster wheel of social media, liberals hating each other, and whether a pig eating Pop Rocks would be the ultimate ASMR. Along the way, she hangs up on an Olympian, questions a possible fart sound, and revisits Beavis & Butthead as a coping mechanism.

    T.G.I.F.

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 13, 2025 92:59


    A rousing episode recorded before the holidays where Chelsea devises some stellar new acronyms for T.G.I.F. Turkish oil wrestling, unarchiving lost songs for the pod, a truly random person calls in and MORE. See full video for this episode at patreon.com/callchelseaperetti 

    GODDESS OF HANGING UP

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 29, 2024 83:07


    patreon.com/callchelseaperetti A lady calls from Vegas and we delve into the consequences of the Sphere. Chelsea tries to make her voice melodic and largely fails. A mesmerizing meditation on raccoon feces and deadly oysters. A classic Diddy / Ani convo. Alabama BBQ. 

    LIVE AT LARGO: 12 YEAR ANNI

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 15, 2024 110:57


    patreon.com/callchelseaperetti Eavesdrop on a gathering of opinionated minds… and mouths… in this very special live anniversary episode of beloved podcast: Call Chelsea Peretti. Shocking audience polls that will leave you shaken to your core. A game! A reading of a letter young CP penned to SNL (and other memorabilia from times of yore). Inflammatory live taste tests. An audience expert on legumes and a woman who has eaten Schav in Minsk. A conclusion that promises to leave a lasting question-mark in your very soul. Special guests Carmen Christopher, Andrea Jin, Sabrina Jalees and Shauna Mccann, round out what is sure to be an absolute classic. WATCH FULL UNCUT VIDEO OF THIS EPISODE AND HEAR ALL EPISODES OF CALL CHELSEA PERETTI EVERY SUNDAY AT patreon.com/callchelseaperetti

    INSTERNET / YOUR MOM PAYS YOUR PHONE BILL

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 1, 2024 69:11


    Positive-minded yogi Rachel Grant Jackson of Chelsea's collegiate improv troupe "Six Milks" visits the pod on a day in which the coff is particularly a-crankin.

    PILOT: DID YOU GET MY LETTER? (REMASTER)

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 24, 2024 55:56


    Original airdate: 10.09.2012 In this already classic pilot episode Chelsea takes the temp of her callers: the son of a white supremacist, a weird German dude, a pizza delivery girl, The Kid Mero (her only friend in the Bronx), and more. Debut of Coffee Crankin Thru My Sys song.

    THROAT LOSANGEZES

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 17, 2024 77:32


    In this first CCP ep back as an indie podcast, you will restart your journey and reconnect with your deepest self. Thank you, as always, to the callers and listeners.

    CUTEST LIL COHOST

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 4, 2024 40:45 Transcription Available


    Chelsea and her dog discuss squeaky sounds, documentarys (Tell Them You Love Me), Rie Parenting, and assess inventory of how product is moving. Also: grama impressions, hummingbird asmr, big dogs. A blood pants customer calls to discuss carbon underwear. Chelsea tries to speak italian to the probable great shame of her ancestors. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    POINT FIVE SPEED

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 27, 2024 75:18 Transcription Available


    Aisling Bea (plus 1) comes to reluctantly share her origin story as Chelsea continues to chase a Pulitzer for her intrepid journalistic instincts. Accents! Gigs! Bath calls! Psychics! In this episode Chelsea is told she has uk vibes and is queer-coded. The first Gay Test, sharing makeup, hygiene, 10-2 politics.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    STORY HOUR WITH BRENDON WALSH

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 20, 2024 56:37 Transcription Available


    Chelsea invites pal Brendon Walsh into the studio to discuss microdosing allergy meds, muting paranoia, pants-less therapists, hanging curtains as a cure for sadness, etc. Brendon recounts a childhood of pure violence. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    TSUNAMI SUMMER SCHOOL

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 13, 2024 61:08 Transcription Available


    Nick Kroll joins the pod to talk to callers on their parents phone plans, take food tests, list allergies, and discuss things like Runyan Canyon lipquids and the smell of rainy school days.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    TSUNAMI SUMMER SCHOOL

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 13, 2024 46:52 Transcription Available


    Nick Kroll joins the pod to talk to callers on their parents phone plans, take food tests, list allergies, and discuss things like Runyan Canyon lipquids and the smell of rainy school days.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    31. A WHOLE NEW POD

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 6, 2024 36:31 Transcription Available


    Chelsea is joined by Scott Aukerman and Brendon Walsh for a very special pod. Also with: Nick Kroll, Moshe Kasher, Aisling Bea. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    30. JARS

    Play Episode Listen Later May 30, 2024 64:04


    A punning Rick Glassman and dazzling Chelsea meet for the first time, scrutinize each others mouth sounds, and discuss misophonic reactions to chip crunchin, ice chompin, and sharp perfumes. Also: Rick's comfort in lying and lack of self-consciousness, Chelsea's lack of feeling, the alpha/beta dynamic, Rick's stand-up secret (act outs), merits of being high, Rick's troubled left testicle, donuts vrs sundaes, a Chabbat caller bails, Detroit landmarks, a compelling vision of Chelsea on Rick's podcast. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    29. REUNITED

    Play Episode Listen Later May 23, 2024 96:06 Transcription Available


    Todd Glass and Chelsea are reunited for a robust session of selling items with every ounce of their souls.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    P MUNCHER JOE MANDE

    Play Episode Listen Later May 16, 2024 73:17 Transcription Available


    Hacks writer and Tiktok enthusiast Joe Mande joins for a podcast that takes a neggy turn midway through, culminating in a pizza party! Callers watch TV and walk around creaky environments slamming doors through a discussion of: the Parks N Rec writers room, the societal merits of being a hater, Dave King's debate pod, how to approach celebs, gross social media recipes, fermented foods, babka, and what Joe pickles. Canned peaches girl calls again.  A “bewildered” caller tells Chelsea she posts too much and doesnt get enough engagement. Another caller let's Chelsea know that her brother does not like Chelsea. A girl calls Joe: "Chris." A commenter says Joe looks 70. A girl describes her past lives, as explored through meditation. PCP and Fit Shortie. Slash g. Slash s.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    WHAT IS YOUR BUDGET AND WHAT IS A TRINKET

    Play Episode Listen Later May 9, 2024 66:16 Transcription Available


    Chelsea takes calls & goes through your voicemails, answering all your burning questions about social media resentments, hoarders, rejection, crushes, adult friendship, spontaneity lovers versus planners, family movies, celeb friends, rattlesnakes and other predator animals in cities, travel, coffee quitters, trinkets and gift-giving. A foreign government musician calls! A special voicemail music mix by the legendary Kooool Kojak.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    MR MIMS

    Play Episode Listen Later May 2, 2024 63:38 Transcription Available


    Author of the upcoming cookie recipe book "Crumbs", former food writer for the la times and die hard wendy williams fan joins CCP to discuss citrus, the pch, willow smith, marie kondo quitting, calling people honey, comment sections closing time vibes, cookie ice cream sandwiches, ozempic bruising, plastic use, composting and spaghetti limone. Canned peaches/tahini girl shocks the pod. A discussion of an ideal international record time. A campaign for charoset to be a year round snack. Chelsea is a new podcast listener and shares thoughts....See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    DELETE THIS PODCAST / “GREAT” “EP”

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 25, 2024 53:38 Transcription Available


    Chelsea chats about robot overlords then makes several half-hearted attempts at guided visualizations with largely disinterested callers who probably have Aphantasia. An overlong discussion of B12. Salad talk. A celebration of Kojak's songs. Comment section outrage. Sweet tooth snacks. Protein. A brown recluse cameo featuring tunneling necrotic flesh. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    APHANTASIA, MOIST FLESH & SUPER TASTERS

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 18, 2024 83:42 Transcription Available


    Blake Anderson is in studio for an alarming ep in which we learn that Aphantasia, though it affects 1% of the population, affects 80% of CCP podcasters. A harrowing update on the attack mini poodle. A silly discussion about coyotes, mountain lions, work passwords, and rabies. Food tests. This episode culminates in a super taster test strip tasting.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    A ROIS BY ANY OTHER NAME

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 11, 2024 99:33 Transcription Available


    A ROIS BY ANY OTHER NAMESee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    KEEP IT TRUCKIN

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 4, 2024 83:49 Transcription Available


    A very bay ep with one of chelseas jr high school besties, a dr w a phd in theology and impeccable penmanship, Sarai Crain comes to the show. Songs! A discussion of being silly as a survival mechanism in 7th and 8th grades, shy roasters, crimped bangs, perms, rayon as a dominant textile, starter jackets, used leggings. Chelsea learns that many of her callers used to be emo. Chelsea as a failed blond. A callers Brazilian Petroleum fail and a teachers “sounds naive” in red ink. DJP caller ! First time drunk. Oysters / mussels / spengers. Chelsea learns she has mispronounced Appalachian her whole life.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    THE SIDESLEEPER VIRUS

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 28, 2024 66:24


    Chelsea is interviewed by a strange and largely benevolent robot in this very special episode. With her directorial debut "First Time Female Director" out on Roku, a PMSing Chelsea takes a sudden philosophical interest in the world of criticism and review culture, envies scientists, mourns for Wendy Williams, explores the most polite way to say one has to go to the bathroom, and learns about pillow weight gain. Caller "Golden Tickets" and the first "Ozempic Food Test" are introduced. Longtime podcaster, first time crying on podcastpodcaster.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    THE SUN'LL COME OUT, JEFF MAURO

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 21, 2024 71:43 Transcription Available


    "The Sandwich King" Jeff Mauro, whose aunt was head of rat patrol for the city of Chicago, pops by to eat his favorite sandwich and share a malted milkshake. He and Chelsea invent the seesaw technique, and discuss Chuck e Cheese pizza, Katsu, habitual toasters, char, bean sandiwches, eggplant and tahdig, rice, hinged rolls, gloppy food like egg salad, and ciabatta aka she-broughta bread. A caller introduces the first ever "Dog Test!" Chelsea starts typing a podcast show bible and is almost taken out by a caraway seed.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    UTTERLY COWTRAGEOUS

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 14, 2024 87:51 Transcription Available


    Entertainer-to-the-bone Paul Scheer, hot off a cold plunge, blasts into the CCP studio for a late in the day coffee and high-octane, wordplay-heavy chat about highly sensitive people, "sir" as a slur, work emails, work costumes, cannoli, Yordy Rance, cold cases, OCD, intrusive thoughts, personality disorders, age. A therapist calls and refuses to diagnose Chelsea. Crying at a Veteran's hospital and children's hospital. Dog gurneys. Aliens. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    BONUS: POWERS CRISTIA! WITH BENNY AND KATE

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 9, 2024 67:07 Transcription Available


    In this very special episode Chelsea is joined by two Rokuligans, comedy geniuses, and cast members of First Time Female Director: Benito Skinner and Kate Berlant. Benny roasts Chelsea's phone while Chelsea nurses her hand wounds from a fall on the way into studio. They attempt a variety of accents, discuss the merits of setting spray, and a caller raises awareness on the emergency blueberry bagel as medicine for stomach viruses. Kate arrives and the trio speaks on Beaudegas, marzipan and princess cake, yucca fries, la restaurants, sparkling tea, the breville bambino, teeth, veneers, salmon recipes, air fryer issues,microwaves versus cooking over the cauldron, cheese, breastmilk, Roku city, Mexico city, girl couch, Bennys tv show, Kate's stage show, and becoming a cheesemonger apprentice as a mid-life career shift. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    DRUGSTORE JUNE AND FIRST TIME FEMALE DIRECTOR

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 7, 2024 90:11


    Two prominent women in film, beauty influencer Esther Povitsky and renowned shut-in Chelsea Peretti, come together to discuss food, almost exclusively. You can see them starring in “First Time Female Director” on Roku Friday March 8 and Drugstore June on Apple March 8. Do a double-header or just watch Chelsea's. Thanks!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    THE DAY THE TOOTH GOT LOOTH

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 29, 2024 73:51 Transcription Available


    Quad-dominant podcaster Chelsea Peretti listens to your voicemails, takes calls, and ponders the very meaning of time in this musically front-heavy episode. A sailor pop song! A jellyfish attack! An exercise clothing vendor! A dramatic recipe monologue. Pottery. Santa's anus. Lavender lattes. Etc. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    BOOK OF RISKS

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 22, 2024 59:12 Transcription Available


    Chelsea welcomes highlining daredevil Faith Dickey to talk the wild world of highlining, when you walk across a rope super high up. Why is it valuable to do scary things?  Is moderation the key to longevity? Infrared, compression sleeves, scrapers, epsom salts. Callers share what risks they take. An aspiring stand-up calls. Airplane etiquette. A solo round of "Who's Slurpin." Shoestring, curly, waffle, and steak fries. Malt vinegar. Brown sauce. Voicemails. The gap between the invention of bread and the invention of sandwiches. A call for food historians. Medieval food banquet fantasy. Cottage cheese. Flirting.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    NECESSITY OR INCLINATION

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 15, 2024 99:50 Transcription Available


    The first lady of lattes and queen of caffeine is joined by legendary comedian Natasha Leggero, hot off of taking her shirt off onstage. Chelsea tries not to talk over people as a previous callers husband calls from the Catskills, a lady calls from her bath, and a stay at home dad calls to talk about shoulders. Natasha shirks gatekeeping and shares her lipstick and over-all brands as well as a secret for delicious tea. Discussion of a potty trained cat, people pleasers, fake aging hacks, chores, Emily Mariko, pottery, parenting, blondes, sex dreams, and pronunciation of words. Chelsea invents the Art History Gym Enrichment Program. Buy Natasha's book “The World Deserves My Children”    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    ADAM SCOTT: PEANUT BUTTER MANIA

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 8, 2024 80:11 Transcription Available


    In this episode, alternately titled: SCIENTISTS ARE PLAYING GAMES WITH OUR MOUTHS, as well as PB & C & S, Adam Scott and Chelsea make a TJs run to grab repetitively named snacks and return to the stude to sample them. Chelsea has consistent trouble speaking, flabbergasted by the sheer volume of peanut-based snacks in what quickly devolves into a nightmare. Imagine a 1 hr 20 min long rollercoaster (where the ride is relatively flat). That is this episode. A danish kringle, a cannoli dip, some elote chips, 500 sweet peanut-based snacks, plus hummus - all along for the ride! Plus! A pao de quiejo foley artist? Yes. Stay nutty, you psychotic peanut freaks!!!...See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    JOE BITIN'

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 1, 2024 72:19 Transcription Available


    In peak award season, Chelsea lures "Jury Duty" break-out star (and Chicago's own) RASHIDA “SHEEDZ” OLAYIWOLA to the studio to slurp coff and talk Altimas. They read fake car ads. They chat about Hollywood: flash differential on the red carpet, how nobody 10-2s, weak eye contact at LA parties, and auditioning. Chelsea harps on the fact that the fork doesn't seem to have evolved. AND THEN, out of nowhere, a therapist with the gift of the gab shares a tale of a dinner party gone awry. One small dog's relentless bitin' spree? One giant step backward for humankind.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    JOE BITIN'

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 1, 2024 72:19 Transcription Available


    In peak award season, Chelsea lures "Jury Duty" break-out star (and Chicago's own) Rasheeda Olayiwola to the studio to slurp coff and talk Altimas. They read fake car ads. They chat about Hollywood: flash differential on the red carpet, how nobody 10-2s, weak eye contact at LA parties, and auditioning. Chelsea harps on the fact that the fork doesn't seem to have evolved. AND THEN, out of nowhere, a therapist with the gift of the gab shares a tale of a dinner party gone awry. One small dog's relentless bitin' spree? One giant step backward for humankind.   Subscribe to Big Money Players Diamond on Apple Podcasts to get this episode ad-free and early access to bonus content: https://apple.co/callchelseaperettiSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    A CATALINA DDT DUMPSITE, AMONGST OTHER THINGS

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 25, 2024 79:49 Transcription Available


    Chelsea, called "a beacon of femininity" by one caller, draws compulsive hearts on a notepad while leading a riveting discussion about over-identifying with your generation label. She gives advice to a woman dating a man who fails to tell her he has a child. She chats about things like "The Notebook" with a charming first-gen Egyptian dude. B99 fans call. A Golden Caller emerges. A desert dog hike mishap. Blonde roast coffee, Kraft dinner, kale, apples, and unfortunately: peanut butter.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    CLACK AND SLAP

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 18, 2024 74:02 Transcription Available


    Have you ever been attacked by a massive Grizzly bear on the top of a mountain where no one can hear your screams? This week's guest Alex Messenger has! Chelsea welcomes the chipper bear attack survivor and his massive vocabulary to the show with open, giddy arms.    Subscribe to Big Money Players Diamond on Apple Podcasts to get this episode ad-free and early access to bonus content: https://apple.co/callchelseaperettiSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    CHELS PP SOLOCAST

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 11, 2024 57:16 Transcription Available


    Chelsea delivers a solo pod, manic, with wet hair, and two coffees deep. Breaking news! Opening songs! A shocking stance on vibrato! A new shoe reveal! Caller voicemails from a sad bday girl, a man who shat in nature, a group texter, a man questioning humans as interspecies "heroes," a dog bite survivor, a lady with no taste, an old timey lass yearning for love, and a dude with a powerful Chels PP name pitch. Chelsea imagines a dream news cycle and a utopian world. Chelsea thinks her Blockudoku score is high (it's not) and thus that maybe her IQ is high (it's probably not). Bone Broth. Benefits of whistling. Bear country and bear running speed. Caller emails.   Subscribe to Big Money Players Diamond on Apple Podcasts to get this episode ad-free and early access to bonus content: https://apple.co/callchelseaperettiSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    AM I AWARE?

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 4, 2024 75:41 Transcription Available


    Hot off his new special Pete Holmes chews nicotine gum and joins Chelsea for a scholarly spiritual exploration. A discussion of the end of holiday cheer, gradients of sobriety, memory photo albums, missing your "comedy class," intrusive thoughts, breath work, not being poly, sleep, yoga, and snacks. Pete asks himself questions and quotes Boy Genius, Eckhart Tolle, Alan Watts, Ram Dass, and Rupert Spira. Old references like MOTPC and MYM and Deec PJ. Chelsea brings a real live gavel to make snap judgements! Callers discuss foods. Please sound off in the comments...See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    SINGY AND CLINGY

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 28, 2023 80:55 Transcription Available


    Musician Will Schwartz joins Chelsea for a joyous pod full of songs and singing about boundaries, love, and technology. Will contemplates his past life as a comedic personality. A caller infuriatingly calls all buttons “buzzers.” Chelsea writes live emails to a variety of experts. We peruse the case of Atlanta Andrew, a recluse without a door, and Toronto Josh (subjected by his husband to radio silence). We close it out with a caller who was attacked by a vicious dog!   Subscribe to Big Money Players Diamond on Apple Podcasts to get this episode ad-free and early access to bonus content: https://apple.co/callchelseaperettiSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    SLURP WARS

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 21, 2023 77:44 Transcription Available


    Tim Heidecker joins Chelsea in her 500 degree studio to take turns spiraling and ask callers to play a game called: "Who's Slurpin'?" Han calls. A 28 year old caller from Perth has searing insight into Tim's past visits to Perth! Ghosts, energy, spirit, and soul. Tim plays one of his songs. A caller shares some acting class lunacy involving bone breakage. We examine the irksome blase tone of cooking content. Daddy's dinner bell. Tim's fans call and promote his entire body of work. A poly dude whose therapist skipped out on him buries the lede. Library intrusive thought direction. Suspenders, California. Olives, meatballs, lemons, empanadas, mac n cheese, green bean casserole, pizza, and balsamic glaze. A loose goose-attack framework. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    I LOVE BEING A SPECK OF DUST

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 14, 2023 78:17 Transcription Available


    A mom calls for momtalk. A dude with a deep belly button shares his challenges and triumphs. A discussion of how to get off social media. Car crash alerts. A hematologist calls. An eyeliner rec. Military time. Rubbery pancakes and waffles. Grama impressions and reflections. Food test: gravy. Talking to callers like cute dogs. A barista calls from Alaska. And finally an interview with a couple who replaced their massive grass lawn with a native wildflower garden, thus inspiring their neighbors and the world beyond.    Subscribe to Big Money Players Diamond on Apple Podcasts to get this episode ad-free and early access to bonus content: https://apple.co/callchelseaperettiSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    YOU ARE NOT THE SAME / BRAIN ISSUES

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 7, 2023 100:52 Transcription Available


    On this episode, we dive into the sci-fi world of head injuries and brain problems. Two legendary guests join us: Dr. Langer, Chair of Neurosurgery at Lenox Hill Hospital, and star of two riveting Netflix docu-series "Emergency NYC"  and "Lenox Hill," AND: Morgan Murphy, kiss-ready comedian and Abbott Elementary writer extra-ordinaire. Plus calls from various afflicted parties, blithering on with so-and-so and whosy whatsit. Thanks to iHeart music catalog for an exploration of musical nirvana.   Subscribe to Big Money Players Diamond on Apple Podcasts to get this episode ad-free and early access to bonus content: https://apple.co/callchelseaperetti  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    BEST OF CCP 1 - WEIRDOS, FREAKS, AND OUTCASTS

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 30, 2023 84:49 Transcription Available


    German legend Oliver calls to inquire after his mysterious letter and Chelsea shares with him about the common practices in Hollywood. A baseball player takes us on a party-boi rollercoaster. An Australian caller gives Chelsea a chance to practice her accent. Chelsea's ex "Chance" (nick kroll) - calls and shares about his copycat podcast and tries to get back with Chelsea until she says yes, at which point he's out. "I loved you too much to date you." A jackpot food test including: swordfish, sundried tomatoes, kale. A gent explores love and the loneliness of puking on an airplane. Esteemed actress Retta calls from the set of Parks and Recreation to fantasize about coyote hill life, magic sike, etc. A caller calls his mom a broke bitch and shares about their relationship and breaks into song. Nacho talk. A cruel homecoming prank. Crying hard during Batman. Coyote guard donkeys who karaoke. Questionable parenting stories. And finally, honey-voiced singing legend Richard Marx - calls and sings, discusses hits, shares about writing songs with Luther Vandross and calls the "Coffee Crankin'" anthem pitchy.    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    PROXY ANIMAL ATTACK STORIES CULMINATING IN ABSOLUTE HORROR

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 30, 2023 59:12 Transcription Available


    A mouse encounter. A lady swims “near” a shark. Two insane girls call. Just another day on the pod until some Brit in the medical profession shares a harrowing dog attack tale. Finally, composer Chris Lennertz calls and details his BEAR ATTACK STORY!!!!! *JACKPOT SOUND EFFECT* Hashtag bear attack. Hashtag Lake Tahoe. Hashtag jackpot sound effect.   Subscribe to Big Money Players Diamond on Apple Podcasts to get this episode ad-free and early access to bonus content: https://apple.co/callchelseaperetti  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    A very special CCP: THACHER ISLAND

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 23, 2023 59:32 Transcription Available


    Chelsea debuts a new dramatic play-in-progress reading excerpt at Vulture Fest, this time set against the backdrop of a barren island off the coast of Massachusetts. "Thacher Island" features a fisherwoman marooned on an island whose son is mysteriously lost at sea, a seagull named Silver, a dark secret, and a pair of strange visitors who may change things forever... Q&A follows. Starring John Early, Kaitlin Olson, and Xosha Roquemore. Stage directions read by Deanna Barillari.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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