The Survivor's Guide to Life

Patrick, who also goes by the name “See Music” shares how a tragic childhood of loss and rejection created in him a “life pattern” in which he sought out others who had similar childhoods. Unfortunately, this life patten – his need to rescue others like himself even at his own expense – lead him into a years-long toxic relationship that wound up hurting him both emotionally and financially. Patrick goes on to discuss how he recovered from this unfortunate setback: first, by recognizing the negative aspects of his need to rescue others and, second, by learning to take better care of himself.

Caregivers give greatly of themselves in time and energy. Effective self-care includes paying attention to preserving energy and seeing to physical and emotional needs. Many caregivers are unaware, however, that caregiving also involves taking in often-painful energy from a loved one or client. In this podcast, we share from our Lynn's Legacy Resilience and Renewal training curriculum to explain how a caregiver's empathic connection can lead to emotional triggering, overload, and energy depletion. Tune in for essential, key concepts for caregivers to know to preserve their health and well-being.

On March 28th, the New York Times Magazine published a powerfully revealing article about young adults caring for their aging parents - while trying to earn a living, parent their children, and preserve their own health. The statistics were dramatic. "The share of caregivers who are under 45 quintupled over the past two decades, to nearly 66 percent from 16 percent." These caregivers are "often shouldering the burden with no pay and little outside help", even from other family members. The magazine article profiles Randi Schofield as she spirals downward attempting to meet the needs of her father, who suffers from car accident injuries complicated by other long-standing health issues. Our Lynn's Legacy: Caring for the Caregiver program was created out of our own caregiving experience to respond to the extraordinary needs of family caregivers in distress. In this podcast, we share insights into the physical and emotional toll caregivers like Randi experience, and how Lynn's Legacy can help. https://www.nytimes.com/2023/03/28/magazine/elder-child-care-millennials.html

Are you holding on to something that's holding you back? Is there something - or someone - that feels essential but in fact is getting in your way of moving on to better things? The Survivor's Guide to Life's social media coordinator Patrick Cyuzuzo (SEE) shares from his experiences and urges you to "let it go" in this inspiring episode of our podcast.

Many people face the reality of having a loved one in need of caregiving. What will it take for them to succeed and preserve their health and well-being in this sacrificial calling, this "extraordinary reality"? Caregiving can be exhausting, depleting, and emotionally draining. The keys to resilience as a caregiver are many and in this podcast we highlight two essentials - using a team approach and being action-oriented.

What are you leaving unfinished? What excuses could you make for giving up now? Patrick Cyuzuzo has a message for you - keep moving forward, keep waking up each morning and pushing on. Have persistence; believe your season of pain and struggle will end. Through challenges big and small, you can make it through. There is hope for tomorrow

CNN news contributor Harris Faulkner, a smart, savvy woman of faith, has a new best-seller, "Faith Still Moves Mountains". In her book, Faulkner profiles stories from people who've experienced God's hand in their lives during very difficult times and crises. When we're feeling depleted, incapable, weak and hopeless, Faulkner's book reminds us that, in response to prayer, God can work through us and through others in circumstances we couldn't have imagined. In this podcast, Peter shares a dark time in his life when God stepped in through a most unlikely source.

2022 was a year of significant stress, loss and grief. Many people took on caregiving roles for loved ones without appreciating the physical and emotional toll it would take, leading to depletion of health and well-being. We've said it many times, "Self care is not selfish, it is essential," but caregivers must move beyond head knowledge to taking action. Patrick Cyuzuzo, one of our support staff for The Survivor's Guide to Life, experienced an extremely challenging health crisis during 2022. In an excerpt from a video (posted in entirety on our YouTube page), Patrick shares how he moves through adversity to resilience and growth through the power of positivity.

Born and raised in Rwanda. SEE, a Gospel and Inspirational artist, is a dedicated young man who is passionate about youth transformation, mental health, and the rise of Christ-centered youth through his music and his motivational speaking. In this special episode of The Survivor's Guide to Life, SEE shares about some of the tragic and scary times of his life and how he was able to change his view of life so that he can look ahead to the future with hope and joy despite the many challenges he has faced.

A recent series of articles highlighting the destructive nature of relationships between narcissists and empaths has a direct bearing on caregivers and caregiver burnout. Attention-seeking narcissists, who use manipulation and exploitation to get their endless needs met, see selfless, giving empaths as the perfect people to meet those needs. Empaths seek people whose needs they can fill, often at their own expense and without appropriate boundaries or perspective about whether the other person's needs are legitimate. Caregiving is a calling for empaths. When a caregiver has a relationship with a narcissist, they can be quickly drained to the point of burnout. Awareness of these possible relationship dynamics, support and self-care are vitally important for caregivers to preserve their health and well-being.

Fragile individuals in need of caregiving can find it hard to ask for help or accept help when it's offered. Attitudes and fears can get in the way. Pride, shame, a fear of vulnerability, and a desire to remain independent can all play a part. Knowing someone who truly needs and deserves help to preserve their safety and well-being can present a challenge for someone who tries to facilitate caregiving services. Sensitivity and patience are needed to preserve the fragile individual's self-respect while not treading on their conflicted emotions.

On his recent visit to Canada, Pope Francis, visibly aging, set an example in word and action. His message was - we must all embrace our frailty and humanity, preserve the dignity of the elderly, and realize that each of us, regardless of age, is a fragile human being. From a profile in the New York Times article, "Pope Francis, Slowed by Aging, Finds Lessons in Frailty" (July 28, 2022), the Pope teaches that we are all beneficiaries when we care for and spend time with the elderly. In this podcast, we read excerpts from the article and share our conviction of the value of compassion and respect for the older members of our community who deserve our care.

Many people are experiencing significant pain and loss in our community and nation. The willingness to face our difficulties, and not run away - to be open and available to hear other people's pain - gives us a chance to heal, grow and experience a shared humanity with others who are suffering. Behind our fears of facing difficulties, health or financial challenges and other losses, is the ultimate fear of mortality. Not facing our fears, or running away, leads to acting destructively to ourselves and those around us.

We return to an article by Dr. Sunita Puri, a palliative medicine physician: "We Must Learn to Look at Grief, Even When We Want to Run Away" (New York Times, 2-23-22). The Covid-19 pandemic has bombarded our world with grief and loss. Dr. Puri writes, and we agree, that there is value in facing our own pain and mortality. We also have the valuable opportunity to relate to others' pain as fellow human beings, through witnessing their pain. As witnesses, we can have compassion for each other and come together to overcome conflict and division.

Caregivers across the country are suffering emotionally, deteriorating physically, and even getting injured, as Peter learns as he travels to Florida to spend Mother's Day with his 97-year-old mom, Pauline. As part of our new program, Lynn's Legacy: Caring for the Caregiver, we are committed to advocating for the physical, emotional, and mental well-being and resilience of our nation's over-stressed caregiving force. AARP, in their May Bulletin, offers an in-depth report on long-term family caregiving issues and we highlight a few of their key points.

Join us for a first-time screening of an informational video for our Lynn's Legacy: Caring for the Caregiver program. Also, we read from Patti Davis' caregiving memoir, "Floating in the Deep End: How Caregivers Can See Beyond Alzheimer's". In this excerpt, Patti writes about a meaningful time near the end of her father's life when they recalled their shared faith.

In today's episode, we focus on the devastating experiences of spouses or partners in committed relationships who have lost a loved one. The intense grief following such a loss causes great distress and impacts physical health and well-being. Many people don't know how to handle and express their grief and need support, even when they don't reach out for help. We also return to Patti Davis' book, "Floating in the Deep End: How Caregivers Can See Beyond Alzheimer's". While most of her memoir is on target with help for understanding and caring for someone with Alzheimer's, we disagree with her position (shared by others in the dementia community) that views affairs as appropriate self-care when one partner can no longer meet the other's physical needs. We share our conviction that such behavior is less than respectful and honoring to a beloved one.

The pandemic has been a wakeup call, challenging us to look at ourselves and our mortality. Dr. Sunita Puri, a palliative medicine physician, writes movingly of her work with dying patients and their families in "We Must Learn to Look at Grief, Even When We Want to Run Away" (New York Times, 2-23-22). Dr. Puri shares our firm conviction - that facing death and mortality without running away is an opportunity. She explains that "witnessing is essential" in her role as an end-of-life practitioner, and that witnessing "requires seeing another's pain as no different from our own." We also discuss another recent article, "Your Body Knows You're Burned Out, (New York Times, 2-15-22), which shares valuable information on another area of our expertise - the debilitating physical symptoms that can arise from unresolved stress.

We return to "Floating in the Deep End: How Caregivers Can See Beyond Alzheimer's", Patti Davis' memoir of caring for her father during the last stages of his life. Davis clearly and powerfully describes the emotional challenges she faced as a caregiver to recognize and deal with her old family-related pain and disappointment. To be compassionately present for her father as an adult daughter, she found it necessary to face her childhood fear of her mother and her anger over having felt shut out of her father's life. All caregivers face similar emotional challenges as part of their work. Denying old, negative emotions - or indulging in them - or covering them up by only "performing" the role - can lead to caregiver depression, burnout and illness, and poor quality of care for their loved one. Refusing to come to grips with ourselves and our emotional history is also a lost opportunity for healing and growth to emotional maturity

Not all caregivers are able to open up, or fully describe, the "extraordinary reality" of caring for a loved one. Patti Davis, in her memoir "Floating in the Deep End: How Caregivers Can See Beyond Alzheimer's", expresses clearly and eloquently her experience of caring for her father, Ronald Reagan. She is able to communicate the full range of emotions and challenges the experience put her through - anger, pain, loss, fear, hope and love. Patti found an opportunity to grow up, put aside old pain and resentments, and create a better relationship with her father in the present. She found creative ways to communicate and engage with her father, and help calm and comfort him in times of anxiety and distress.

In today's podcast, we profile Patti Davis, author of "Floating in the Deep End: How Caregivers Can See Beyond Alzheimer's". Davis, the formerly rebellious daughter of Ronald Reagan, provides a powerful example of a person who turned her painful challenges into an opportunity for growth, resilience and purpose in life. On learning of her father's diagnosis of Alzheimer's, Patti resolved to actively care for her father for the remainder of his life. Davis is a gifted writer, blending her expertise on dementia with her own life experiences. She shares her difficult journey of overcoming old family pain and resentments to a personal deepening of forgiveness, compassion and love. After her father's death, Patti carried on a legacy of her experience by creating Beyond Alzheimer's, a network of support groups for caregivers and families of Alzheimer's sufferers.

We are coming to the end of a most difficult year. This podcast brings you our gifts of encouragement and hope for 2022. Most of all, we urge you to turn your challenges - even the overwhelming, frightening ones - into opportunities. To do this, we offer the concept of reframing and the necessity of action, moving forward, not running away or getting stuck in paralysis. Staying positive, taking one step at a time, learning the lessons, and having faith will help you turn your struggles into personal growth and resilience that can come to you in no other way than by living through and overcoming hard times.

We share encouragement and support for caregivers everywhere by reading portions of the strategic plan for "Lynn's Legacy: Caring for Caregivers". Whether caregivers realize it or not, they play leading roles in providing and managing care for their loved ones. Principles of leadership and resilience which can help sustain them are also found in "Type R: Transformative Resilience for Thriving in a Turbulent World", by Ama and Stephanie Marston, and in a recent New York Times article, "4 Ways to Cultivate Resilience in 2022", by Emily Sohn. Again in this episode, we stress the vital importance of self-care and collaborative teamwork.

Today's podcast emphasizes our conviction that hope is found in taking action. We continue to revisit "Type R: Transformative Resilience for Thriving in a Turbulent World", by Ama and Stephanie Marston, reviewing the skill of Active Engagement. We introduce and explain the six stages the Marstons identify for "turning adversity into growth". They are: 1) The Comfort Zone, or safety zone, when everything is familiar and unchanged, 2) Disruption, when change comes into our lives, 3) Chaos, a transitional state in which we have little control and yet must stay open to the process, 4) Catalyst, when an "aha moment" or glimpse of something new occurs, 5) Integration, a hopeful time of experimentation and creativity, and 6) Renewal, when we arrive at new confidence and competence, with a new sense of identity.

We revisit "Type R: Transformative Resilience for Thriving in a Turbulent World", by Ama and Stephanie Marston, focusing on the skill of Active Engagement. When we started our podcast three years ago, we spent several episodes sharing key concepts from "Type R". Transformative resilience, according to the Marstons (and we agree) stresses that the kind of resilience we need to thrive in these challenging times is not the ability to "bounce back" but to "learn, grow, and spring forward". Active Engagement is the willingness to take on our difficult challenges and troubling emotions, work through them, learn from them, and act on what we've learned. It takes courage, objectivity to assess where we are and what changes to make, openness to new possibilities, patience to respond rather than react to people and events, emotional hygiene to clear away negative emotions, and hope to enable us to see adversity as a source of opportunity rather than threat.

We're excited to share a new initiative by our sponsor, Sonoma Coast Trauma Treatment, in support of caregivers and the vitally important caregiving profession. SCTT is launching a new strategic plan with the goal to provide education, support, training and resources for caregivers, to promote resilience and help prevent burnout. This effort will draw in part on unique, successful programs offered at the Bernstein Institute. In this podcast, we review portions of the strategic plan and share content from our caregiver support programs. The need for caregivers will grow dramatically in the future. Preserving the health and well-being of those willing to serve in this demanding profession is imperative.

This podcast episode explores the hardships and rewards of being a caregiver through the lens of two recent articles of note. "Long Hours, Low Pay, Loneliness and a Booming Industry", published by the New York Times, profiles the difficult life and Covid-related death of two New York caregivers, and throws some light on the questionable practices of the caregiving industry in that state. In the Wall Street Journal, Patti Davis shares her transition from "getting so many things wrong" in her life to discovering her own "strength and capacity for compassion" in "Patti Davis Has Wisdom to Share With Alzheimer's Caregivers". We add our thoughts, insight and encouragement to caregivers (and potential caregivers) everywhere.

Caregivers serve others in a stressful reality of suffering, disability, crisis, sickness, and death. The caregiving experience places emotional burdens on caregivers, and these experiences often stimulate painful, unresolved emotions from the caregiver's past. To release these old, stored negative emotions, it's essential for caregivers to learn to tune in to their bodies. Trapped emotions give clues to their presence in physical sensations. Awareness of these sensations - patterns that can be unique for each individual - can help caregivers resolve and recover from past pain and trauma. The opportunity for growth and resilience comes from resolving and healing old wounds.

Caregivers - needed now more than ever - experience physical, emotional and psychological burdens as they empathetically serve those who are sick, disabled or dying. The toll these stresses take can result in depletion and ultimately caregiver burnout. Effective self-care protocols for caregivers are essential for resilience and longevity. From our caregiver training manual, we describe the stages and warning signs from stress to burnout. We introduce the concept of "energy exchange" and its potential contribution to caregiver distress. We also talk about the importance of caregiver awareness of their physical, bodily sensations and the clues these sensations give for releasing stress and restoring well-being.

The need for caregiving - by medical personnel, first responders, family members and paid caregivers - is increasing astronomically but high stress work situations, low pay, and lack of support and respect for the profession is putting caregivers at risk across the country. The nature of caregiving with its intense commitment to giving selflessly, while working in the extraordinary reality of suffering, sickness and death, takes a toll on caregivers' minds and bodies. Caregivers are burning out and breaking down physically. Our guest, missionary and caregiver John Sullivan joins us for a discussion of this topic with suggestions for how to help caregivers become more resilient in their calling.

Life isn't linear, transitioning smoothly from childhood, to career, to parenting and eventually to retirement. Major transitions - significant life changes - can and do happen at any time. Sometimes several changes happen at once and can leave us feeling overwhelmed and out of control. Every one of us is now experiencing at least one major life change - the Covid pandemic. Many of us are also being hit at the same time with other challenges of loss, grief and dislocation. How do we successfully navigate times of transition? We start by choosing to engage with our challenges, accept and deal responsibly with our intense emotions, and focus on what is most important. Gratitude - even for the little things - and hope are essential.

The Covid19 crisis is easing. Variants are still with us, Long Covid with its spectrum of lingering physical symptoms is affecting up to a quarter of the population, and residual emotional symptoms of distrust, negativity and fear are widespread. What should we do? This is a good time to take a deep, honest look at ourselves. Who are you now? What have you learned? Don't use this inner look as fuel for either self-pity or self-condemnation. Start to answer the questions, What matters most to me? Are my priorities where they should be? Could I handle aspects of my life better or make different choices? As you take a look inside, have compassion and acceptance for the parts of yourself that need work. Don't let negative emotionality run your show. The hard times we're going through can become an opportunity for change and a chance to develop resilience for the challenges to come.

Vaccination rates are up, infection rates are down, restrictions are easing - after over a year of COVID pandemic life, the White House is declaring this the "summer of freedom, summer of joy". Many of the activities we've missed, such as vacation travel and gathering with extended family are now more possible. But is feeling "joy" the whole picture? Not entirely. For medical professionals and first responders, already overstressed and depleted in numbers, Covid variants are once again creating heavy caseloads. For everyone else, the toll from the pandemic, the burdens of grief we still carry, and the intense emotions and stress are still with us. Healing and resilience will take time.

Millions of Americans have suffered serious losses over the last year, including the death of loved ones and the loss of jobs and finances. Related articles appear in the news and online, the losses and grief are real, and yet how often do people talk openly about their painful experiences? Peter shares how to relate to others in a genuine way, sincerely wanting to know how they're doing, giving them permission to express their grief. Sometimes, when grief is intense, people need to be able to say "not now." At other times, coming alongside as a fellow human being offering compassion from the heart, not posing or performing, can provide an meaningful opportunity for hope and healing.

As we begin to recover from the Covid pandemic, millions across our country are grieving the death of loved ones. Our experience of bereavement is affected by many things - whether our loved one died isolated in a living facility or at home in the care of family, whether our relationships were troubled or loving, or if we have other losses in the present or arising again out of the past. The truth is that in every circumstance, grief is both painful and an opportunity. As we grieve, we can work through old and present losses, deal with regrets and remorse, resolve old disappointments and conflict, and remember the best from those we've loved and lost. Their legacy to us can help us learn and grow to find a deeper understanding of what matters most in life.

We grieve the recent passing of Lynn Bernstein, knowing that millions of people continue to grieve for loved ones lost during the Covid-19 pandemic. Grief in losing someone we love - bereavement - is one of the deepest pains we will ever know. Each of us will experience grief in uniquely individual ways, both emotional and physical. Our culture tends to avoid recognizing the value of grieving. Efforts to avoid the intense feelings of loss in grief lead to negative patterns of behavior, including self-medicating, addictive tendencies to bury the pain. Being willing to feel and work through the pain of bereavement can lead ultimately to healing, renewal and flourishing.

On April 12, 2021, Peter's wife Lynn passed away at home, surrounded by those who loved her. In this episode, Peter shares his experience of intense grief over Lynn in the desire to help and encourage the many others grieving loved ones now. The Covid pandemic alone has taken the lives of over 550,000 Americans. Millions worldwide are grieving for lost loved ones. Peter's fear was that he would not be able to function after Lynn's death. He is finding that, with God's help and strength, he can carry on his work as he grieves. Grief has emotional, mental and physical aspects that bring up memories, cause intense sadness, bodily aches and other symptoms. Peter feels, most of all, that the time of grieving is a time to focus on what matters most in life - love, truth, serving others, gratitude, and accepting our humanity. We close this episode with suggestions for how to sensitively express compassion for those who grieve.

In hard times, good leadership is critically important. Surprisingly, studies show that brilliance alone does not usually make someone a good leader. Grit, hardiness, and a willingness to embrace challenges as opportunities are qualities which set apart good leaders from bad ones. How does someone develop grit? During a crisis, people can allow themselves to be paralyzed from feelings of panic and insecurity. Grit is the internal determination to move beyond paralysis, to make needed changes, and to look at any weaknesses that have been exposed and reevaluate. A useful image of a leader with grit is a drill sergeant. Peter shares his experience of Army basic training and his complex relationships with his drill sergeants. Ultimately, he came to realize that their harsh approach came from a place of caring concern. He needed to be prepared - and develop grit - for what was coming in Vietnam

In hard times, good leadership is critically important. In this episode, Peter shares from his personal experience of learning the qualities of a good leader. From an early age, Peter was expected to take a leading role in his family's construction business. His desire to learn benefited from both positive and negative examples of leadership. Brutal treatment at home and on the streets sharpened his survival skills and gave him a heart to protect others from victimization, exploitation and prejudice. He communicated to his employees that they mattered, gaining their respect and appreciation. He worked to develop strength in those he led, to build their confidence and abilities. He encouraged them to rise to difficult challenges and grow. In our next episode, Peter will share how he has continued to motivate and enable others to take on painful and difficult challenges in the face of adversity.

Times of crisis separate good from bad leaders. In this episode, we continue to define the qualities of a good leader. An ability and willingness to innovate in response to difficult times is one mark of a good leader. Innovation and creativity - responding effectively to new and changing situations - means not falling back on old coping mechanisms which may be inappropriate for the current challenge. This requires leaders to confront their limitations. In critical situations, do they let emotions cloud their perspective? Are they unwilling to take risks? Can they reexamine their priorities? Are they hiding behind a proscribed role? Will they look out for the people depending on them or become self-absorbed? Good leaders display courage and strength in dealing with themselves so that others may follow their example.

Times of crisis separate good from bad leaders. Leaders who give in to the temptation to abdicate and run away from their responsibilities fail the people depending on them. Good leaders do the opposite - they stay the course through adversity to continue to guide and provide for others. In this episode, we explore several types of leadership and begin to define the qualities of a good leader. In Peter's view, good leaders accept and value their own humanity. They are transparent, giving the people around them permission to also be human and learn from the leader's wisdom and experience. Good leaders recognize and develop the talents of those on their team, helping them become the best they can be. Good leaders also hold on to courage and hope, deal decisively with their negative emotions, are willing to sacrifice for those depending on them, and take responsibility in their roles without excuses. In our next episode, we'll cover other qualities of a good leader, including being innovative and creative

True self-care is essential for everyone experiencing stress and adversity. Leaders, caregivers, first responders, parents - anyone on whom others depend for direction and support - have a greater responsibility to discern between legitimate avenues for self-care and negative self-indulgence. Attitudes and actions which are primarily self-protective shortcuts to avoid responsibility and personal risk are not self-care. In hard times, leaders must balance issues of safety and risk, becoming creative in order to respond to the needs of the people counting on them. Allowing fear and other negative emotions to contaminate your perspective, hiding out behind rules and restrictions, will cause a leader to fail. In our next podcast, we'll continue on this theme with tools to help leaders respond courageously and creatively in a crisis.

Covid vaccines are becoming more available, and yet times are still very difficult for us all. For front line medical personnel dealing with our pandemic, the heavy stress and burdens of providing care are leading to illnesses, family life difficulties and burnout. Self-care is essential for all caregivers to preserve their health and ability to care for others. Many caregivers know the crucial importance of self-care, but neglect themselves anyway. What gets in the way? Misconceptions and negative attitudes are part of the picture. Caregivers can feel that self-care is selfish, set unrealistic expectations for themselves, or have conflicted motivations. Accepting what we can and can't control for those we care for is a frequent challenge. It's essential for stressed caregivers to become aware of the depleting effects of their work, to be honest, recognize and admit the toll their work takes on them, and do something about it. Seeking solutions, setting aside specific time for self-care, finding support and fighting isolation are necessary to preserve resilience

While there is hope for a better year in 2021, the Covid crisis has been devastating in loss of life and loss of income for many. Without being insensitive to this reality, we see reason for hope. People are starting to get back on their feet. We can all come out of this time for the better. Our crisis has been a time to reevaluate, to see where we've invested our lives. Have we emphasized the tangibles - our job, status, financial security - or have we recognized the value of intangibles - caring, empathy, love for each other, a meaningful and purposeful life? Let us encourage you. A focus on the intangibles will make it possible to positively respond to the opportunities of our hard times with resilience and a hopeful outlook. We also review several of our lessons for surviving in hard times, particularly the third lesson - "Deal with reality but recognize that facts aren't the complete reality".

We continue to live in a tumultuous time of transition, of political, financial, and personal disruption and change. What does it take to successfully navigate these times? Those who are gifted or well-trained in only one part of life will discover their need for broader skills for resilience. Very early in his career, golfer Tiger Woods became a dominant and highly successful player and a wealthy man. Then his personal life came apart. A new HBO documentary traces Tiger's path from a highly-trained prodigy to a man spiraling out of control, before finding a more honest and fulfilling life. What can we learn from Tiger's experiences and choices to help us find resilience in difficult times? Peter and Jenny share some insights on transition and resilience.

The old year, 2020 is over; 2021 begins. We are still in the midst of a complicated, difficult time. How can we create resilience and success in our lives in this new year? Peter and Jenny suggest a series of essential steps to take. In this podcast, we cover five important principles. We explain the value and necessity of: 1) self-care; 2) seeing the massive transition we're all in as a time for change; 3) slowing down; 4) refusing to give in to strong emotions of fear and discouragement; and 5) knowing the facts of our current situation but not losing track of the bigger picture and the opportunities that present themselves. In future podcasts, we'll cover more positive steps to take in 2021.

Athletes who have trained themselves to endure the greatest mental and physical challenges can teach us a lot about how to survive the marathon that is COVID19. Physical pain and mental discouragement are the enemy of an elite athlete who wants to perform at the peak of his or her abilities. What attitude or mindset do extreme athletes find necessary to prevent failure and self-sabotage? We interview Asher Smiley, owner of Krav Maga Revolution in Petaluma. Krav Maga is a self-defense technique developed by the Israeli Defense Force to respond immediately and effectively to real-life threats of violence. How does Asher mentally and physically approach his discipline? How does he teach it to others? Join us for lessons which can help you develop your own mental toughness to better survive in our COVID world. Krav Maga Revolution - https://kravmagarevolution.com/ Build Mental Endurance Like A Pro – Pandemic Advice From Athletes – The New York Times (nytimes.com) https://www.nytimes.com/2020/11/07/well/mind/athletes-pandemic-advice.html?searchResultPosition=1

This has been a year of uncertainty, sickness, loss and grief. Dr. Peter Bernstein reminds us that one of the best ways to heal from painful losses is to step out of ourselves and think of others. The core of fulfillment is giving from the heart to those around us who need our support. In giving, we find joy. Peter also encourages us all to hold on to hope for the future.

In a special holiday message, Peter stresses the importance of focusing on what really matters during this time: the priority of the spiritual over the material aspects of life; compassionate giving to others; caring for ourselves; and taking time to cherish the lighter moments of joy and hope.

Creating a meaningful holiday gathering this year can benefit from early planning. Talk to those you love and listen to their desires and concerns. Balance safety with an opportunity to connect with family and friends by staying non-judgmental, allowing everyone to set boundaries consistent with their values and priorities. In this podcast, we include suggestions for new ways to celebrate during the COVID pandemic - using Zoom, simplifying meal preparation, supporting local restaurants, and sharing what you're grateful for in actions as well as words. Find a way to include joy in your celebration, being willing to forgive generously during this difficult time.

Viewers of the Survivor's Guide to Life on YouTube won't be surprised to hear that Peter is a gym rat. Jenny doesn't miss a workout, either. Dedication to exercise and fitness is an essential part of our self-care. The familiar phrase, "No pain, no gain" carries a kernel of truth - to build physical strength and stamina, workouts that lead to some muscle soreness are necessary. The same truth applies emotional fitness, or resilience, hence our podcast theme, "Know Pain, Know Gain". Adversity, struggles and hard times bring pain into our lives on a personal, emotional level. Embracing painful challenges gives us the opportunity to grow as individuals. We can gain wisdom and strength of character, a deeper appreciation of life, and a more hopeful outlook