Podcasts about love the neurobiology

Building a strong and secure connection within a romantic relationship is a goal shared by many. We strive for harmony, understanding, and a deep bond that withstands the test of time. But with human nature being what it is - aggressive, warlike, moody, and easily influenced - it can be a challenging task. So, how do we achieve this level of connection? Is it about finding the perfect partner or following a set of rules? In this episode, Dr. Stan Tatkin and Dr. Jessica Higgins embark on an enlightening exploration of human behavior within relationships shedding light on key elements that foster a strong and secure connection. Join us as we delve into the strategies and insights that can help you and your partner work together to create a solid foundation of love, trust, and mutual support. Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT Clinician, author, researcher, PACT developer, and co-founder of the PACT Institute. Dr. Tatkin is an assistant clinical professor at UCLA, David Geffen School of Medicine. He maintains a private practice in Southern California and leads PACT programs in the US and internationally. He is the author of We Do, Wired for Love, Your Brain on Love, Relationship Rx, Wired for Dating, What Every Therapist Ought to Know, and co-author of Love and War in Intimate Relationships, and the upcoming, In Each Other's Care. Check out the transcript of this episode on Dr. Jessica Higgin's website. In this episode 6:01 In Each Other's Care: Practical Guidance on Applying the Principles of Secure Functioning 10:56 Normalizing stressful situations and creating purpose-centered relationships. 15:36 Preserving relationships through proactive engagement. 26:05 Creating purposeful relationships: moving beyond psycho-biology to action. 30:37 Embracing a collaborative stance: Exploring partner's needs and approaching conversations with mutual interest. Mentioned Type Of Relationship Support (survey) In Each Other's Care: A Guide to the Most Common Relationship Conflicts and How to Work Through Them (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Learn How to Interact When Conflicts Arise (excerpt) We Do: Saying Yes to a Relationship of Depth, True Connection, and Enduring Love (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Wired for Love: How Understanding Your Partner's Brain and Attachment Style Can Help You Defuse Conflict and Build a Secure Relationship (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Your Brain on Love: The Neurobiology of Healthy Relationships (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Relationship Rx (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Wired for Dating: How Understanding Neurobiology and Attachment Style Can Help You Find Your Ideal Mate (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Love and War in Intimate Relationships: Connection, Disconnection, and Mutual Regulation in Couple Therapy (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) ERP 291: How “Love Is Not Enough” – An Interview with Dr. Stan Tatkin Relationship Map To Happy, Lasting Love Shifting Criticism For Connected Communication Connect with Dr. Stan Tatkin Websites: thepactinstitute.com Facebook: facebook.com/drstantatkin Twitter: twitter.com/DrStanTatkin LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/stan-tatkin Instagram: instagram.com/drstantatkin Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship  Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins  Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts/ Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation  LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins  Twitter: @DrJessHiggins  Website: drjessicahiggins.com   Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here.  Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship.  Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here.  Thank you!   *With Amazon Affiliate Links, I may earn a few cents from Amazon, if you purchase the book from this link.      

Do you believe you can transform your life by adjusting your beliefs and perceptions?Licensed marriage and family therapist and money mindset coach, Jacent Wamala did and you can too! Jacent paid off over $90,000 in credit card and student loan debt in three years and has helped others conquer their limiting beliefs so that could overcome debt and cultivate fulfilling relationships.   On the new SheConfidential podcast episode, Jacent explains how your mindset has the power to shape everything from your love life to your earnings. In addition, Jacent: Distinguishes abundance and scarcity mindsets. Explains how our habits reflect our mindset.    Provides the equation for getting the results you desire. Explores common barriers to achieving mindset shifts. Describes the impact of how we perceive our value. Identifies what is needed for healthier relationships.CONTENT WARNINGSNoneGUESTJacent Wamala, LMFT Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Wamala Wellness https://www.wamalawellness.com/Pinterest: @wamalawellness    LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jacent-wamala-m-s-lmft-aa8baa194YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCyFog_MtFcm4rZwdzktBG2Q Money Mindset Coach, Wealth & Wellness Universityhttps://www.facebook.com/groups/wwustartshereJacent Gem's Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/jacents-gems/id1490915960Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SixFigureMoneyMindsetCoach Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jacentsgems/ and https://www.instagram.com/wealthandwellnessuniversity/ Twitter: @jacentsgems   YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_i5S1hB1NAe1v2xxg3kUQA RESOURCESYour Brain on Love: The Neurobiology of Healthy Relationships by Stan Tatkin Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find - and Keep - LoveFOR MORE INFORMATION- Visit https://sheconfidential.com/ for more!- Subscribe and watch the SheConfidential podcast here https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCkwhWLZhyY7UbTyjmu0k91w.- Follow on Instagram and Facebook @she.confidential- Join the SheConfidential Online Community waitlist so that you're among the first to get access to this new safe space for women who are ready to design their best lives. Here is the link https://mailchi.mp/20cb09978a8f/sheconfidential-online-community-waitlistNOTEThe information provided on SheConfidential pertaining to your health or wellness, relationships, business/career choices, finances, or any other aspect of your life is not intended to be a substitute for individual consultations, professional advice, diagnosis or treatment rendered by your own provider.ACKNOWLEDGEMENTSEpisode artwork and video production by Eye AM Media https://www.eyeammedia.com/. Follow on Instagram @eyeammedia

Understanding why love is not enough in an empowered relationship can be a challenge. So in this episode, Dr. Stan Tatkin helps us recognize some of the most common biological and human factors that take us off track when creating intentionality in a relationship. Having a scientific framework that allows us to understand why we need more than love helps us create a shared vision for our relationships. By unpacking common causes of relationship challenges, we can learn how to commit fully to a loving partnership and ensure it remains a beautiful and fulfilling experience.  Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT, is a clinician, author, researcher, PACT developer, and co-founder of the PACT Institute. Dr. Tatkin is an assistant clinical professor at UCLA, David Geffen School of Medicine. He maintains a private practice in Southern California and leads PACT programs in the US and internationally. He is the author of We Do, Wired for Love, Your Brain on Love, Relationship RX, Wired for Dating, and co-author of Love and War in Intimate Relationships. Check out the transcript to this episode in Dr. Jessica Higgin's website. In this episode: 09:35 Why the basic human being is not built for long term relationships 12:25 Going passively into a relationship assuming that love is the key to success is not the best approach to take 14:05 The inner development that we have to commit to can sometimes be challenging 19:03 Stan shares his practical tips on how to create a shared purpose and vision as a couple 33:29 The importance of being cognizant of that we continue to evolve as individuals while developing our purpose, vision, governance, and ethics as a couple 33:48 Why we should intentionally create form-fitting principles to ground our relationship 40:32 How PACT can help couples improve their relationships Mentioned We Do: Saying Yes to a Relationship of Depth, True Connection, and Enduring Love, by Stan Tatkin (*Amazon Link) Wired for Love: How Understanding Your Partner's Brain and Attachment Style Can Help You Defuse Conflict and Build a Secure Relationship, by Stan Tatkin (*Amazon Link) Your Brain on Love: The Neurobiology of Healthy Relationships, by Stan Tatkin (*Amazon Link) Relationship Rx, by Stan Tatkin (*Amazon Link) Wired for Dating: How Understanding Neurobiology and Attachment Style Can Help You Find Your Ideal Mate, by Stan Tatkin (*Amazon Link) Love and War in Intimate Relationships: Connection, Disconnection, and Mutual Regulation in Couple Therapy, by Stan Tatkin (*Amazon Link) Relationship Road Map Connect with Dr. Stan Tatkin Website: thepactinstitute.com  Facebook: facebook.com/drstantatkin Instagram: instagram.com/drstantatkin/ Twitter: @DrStanTatkin Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship  Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins  Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts/ Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation  LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins  Twitter: @DrJessHiggins  Website: drjessicahiggins.com   Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here.  Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship.  Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here.  Thank you!   *With Amazon Affiliate Links, I may earn a few cents from Amazon, if you purchase the book from this link.

Sarah Riegelhuth is a speaker, blogger, author, serial entrepreneur and investor in startups, having founded 8 companies since 2009. Following several successful exits, she is currently the CEO of Grow My Team (global recruitment) and co-founder of League of Extraordinary Women. She is personally fuelled by a passion for changing the status quo of how we work, conscious culture, community, gender equality and living life on one's own terms. Recognized as the IFA Thought Leader of the Year, Sarah was also named as one of Melbourne's Top 100 most influential, inspiring and creative citizens by The Age, and listed in the Top 50 Female Entrepreneurs under 40 by Shoestring. This episode was recorded at Soltara Healing Center as part of the #SoltaraSeries. For more information about Ayahuasca retreats at Soltara, visit http://soltara.co/thoughtroom Special Offers in This Episode: → $200 off Ayahuasca retreats at Soltara Healing Center with code THOUGHTROOM. Use link: http://soltara.co/thoughtroom Topics Explored:  > 19:05 Sarah shares the self-love journey that led to an Ayahuasca retreat > 25:15 Why Sarah felt the call to do more Ayahuasca ceremonies > 26:44 The struggles of living on unconventional life > 30:04 Healing your younger self, and balancing masculine and feminine  > 35:49 Sarah describes a moment of healing during ceremony  > 43:49 Healing sexual shame  > 50:34 Reclaiming feminine connection and strength > 1:00:52 Tools for discovering your sexuality > 1:06:27 Starting with self-love . Resources:  The League of Extraordinary Women Meet Your Maven (Book)  Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help YouFind - and Keep - Love (Book) Your Brain on Love: The Neurobiology of Healthy Relationships Tantric Blossoming: https://tantricblossoming.com (Book) Urban Tantra, Second Edition: Sacred Sex for the Twenty-First Century Subscribe to The Thought Room:  Apple | https://tinyurl.com/qp3mqnp Spotify | https://tinyurl.com/wxyzmdw Stitcher | https://tinyurl.com/wrxv39g Connect with Sarah Reigelhuth: Instagram| https://www.instagram.com/sarahriegelhuth/ Instagram| https://www.instagram.com/growmyteam/ Website| https://www.sarahriegelhuth.com Connect with Hallie Rose: Thought Room IG | https://www.instagram.com/thoughtroompodcast/  Hallie Rose IG | https://www.instagram.com/hallie_rosebud/ Twitter | https://twitter.com/ThoughtRoomPod YouTube |http://bit.ly/ThoughtRoomYouTube  Website | www.thoughtroompodcast.com  Email | thoughtroompodcast@gmail.com  Sign up for the TRP Newsletter | www.thoughtroompodcast.com  HELP SUPPORT THIS SHOW!  The Thought Room is offered freely and funded entirely by listener support. All interviews are done in-person for better chemistry, more intimacy, and more powerful storytelling. Donations to this podcast support travel expenses and pay for the fees of our podcast hosting platform.  DONATE:  Patreon | https://www.patreon.com/thoughtroom Paypal: paypal.me/thoughtroompodcast  Venmo | Send a send a one-time gift via Venmo @hallierose Other ways to support:  → SHOP: Want to purchase a book or product mentioned on the show? If you buy anything through the links in the show notes a small portion of your purchase gets donated to the Thought Room. → SUBSCRIBE:  Apple Podcasts +  Spotify+ Stitcher +  Google Podcasts   → LEAVE A SHORT APPLE PODCASTS REVIEW:  Would you please consider leaving a typed review on Apple Podcasts/iTunes? Even a one or two words! It takes less than 60 seconds and really makes a difference in helping to land prominent guests! (https://tinyurl.com/qp3mqnp)  →  SHARE: Spread the word! Tell your family, friends and tag @thoughtroompodcast on social media ACKNOWLEDGMENTS Special thanks to Emmy-Award winning composer Kodomo (Chris Child) for allowing us to use his brilliant track Concept 1 as our theme song.

On this week’s episode, Ameé talks with renowned couples expert and author, Dr. Stan Tatkin. Stan Tatkin, is a clinician, teacher, and developer of A Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy® (PACT). He has a clinical practice in Calabasas, CA, where he has specialized for the last 20 years in working with couples and individuals who wish to be in relationships. And he is the author of many books on the topic of relationships including Wired for Love: How Understanding Your Partner’s Brain and Attachment Style Can Help You Defuse Conflict and Build a Secure Relationship, published by New Harbinger. In this episode, you will hear:Why is a romantic partner even necessary? What are the benefits of being tethered to another person? What is Attachment Theory and how does our attachment style affect us as adults? What is attraction and why do we go for certain types of people, even if they are “wrong” for us?How do you become an expert in your partner? Ultimately, how do we know this other person is worth the effort? What are our cues? Books by Dr. Tatkin include:We Do: Saying Yes to a Relationship of Depth, True Connection, and Enduring Love, published by Sounds TrueRelationship Rx: Insights and Practices to Overcome Chronic Fighting and Return to Love, published by Sounds TrueWired for Dating: How Understanding Neurobiology and Attachment Style Can Help You Find Your Ideal Mate, published by New Harbinger.Wired for Love: How Understanding Your Partner’s Brain and Attachment Style Can Help You Defuse Conflict and Build a Secure Relationship, published by New Harbinger.Your Brain on Love: The Neurobiology of Healthy Relationships, published by Sounds True.Love and War in Intimate Relationships: Connection, Disconnection, and Mutual Regulation in Couple Therapy, with coauthor Marion Solomon, available through W. W. Norton’s Interpersonal Neurobiology Series. Website: https://thepactinstitute.com/Facebook the PACT Institute: https://www.facebook.com/PactTrainingInstituteFacebook for Dr. Stan Tatkin: https://www.facebook.com/drstantatkin/

Stan Tatkin is the founder of A Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy®(PACT). He has worked with couples for more than fifteen years in his clinical practice. He teaches, he counsels, he writes, he does it all!Stan has authored a few very important books throughout his career, some of them including: Wired for Love, Your Brain on Love, Wired for Dating, and his latest and the driving point behind this interview, We Do: Saying Yes to a Relationship of Depth, True Connection, and Enduring Love. All in all, I am delighted to have Stan on the show. You are really going to get a lot out of this talk!The Difficulties of Cultivating a Cooperative and Collaborative RelationshipStan lays the groundwork for a secure-functioning relationship between couples. He says both participants in the relationship share power and mutually govern over each other to balance out the dynamic. Because we are perfectly imperfect as human beings, the dynamic is often skewed to one side. Collaboration is hard and positivity is just as difficult to maintain.To you who listen along, Stan will also take you down a fascinating neurological path when he explains our survival mechanisms and how the brain takes shortcuts. These facets of our development make it very hard to maintain secure relationships. Our states of mind, the many different perceptions we experience--of which Stan likens to a funhouse mirror--and our imperfect memories, are of many hurdles to overcome. For much more on this uphill climb, tune in.Threats and Shared GovernanceStan reminds us that the small ‘threats’, the eyerolls, the tone laced with animosity, the cold shoulder, passive aggression, all of it, can compound and show up in a very real biological sense. After time, you will view your spouse as a predator. Not in any malicious sense, but because of self-protective tendencies we have learned over our development, our perceptions can certainly be skewed unknowingly.Our capacity or tendency to be threatened in ingrained within us naturally. It can also be a result of upbringing as well. Some of it is triggered merely by standing eye-to-eye with one another; In addition, the principle of ‘shared governance’ can cause threats. Stan describes shared governance as shared principles that both parties believe in that will protect one from each other. He also tells us that this is how society works: we share a similar mythology, an analogous narrative is followed that reflects shared sentiments of governance.Really check out this episode to hear Stan explain it in much more detail.Putting the Relationship First?Stan stands by this practice. He says a lot of breakdown in relationships hinges on differences in focus. If both of you agree to put the kids first over the relationship, Stan believes everyone suffers. He doesn’t condone neglecting the child, but just like well-worn maxim of taking care of yourself before others, so too everyone benefits if there's a strong foundation to work with.The Couple BubbleThis interesting concept is described as two people protecting their relationship ‘ecosystem’. This system is built on accountability, that is, the push-and-pull of a symbiotic partnership where one action affects the other tangibly.Stan tells you to think of it this way: the couple bubble can either guarantee mutually assured destruction or mutually assured survival! Keeping the bubble in focus is extremely important.Much more is said. Do yourself a favor and listen along!What About Mutually Exclusive Needs?During the episode, the very crucial question of differing needs arise. What if there are instances, major or minor, where accommodating each other is very difficult. A job interview that necessitates a move, or simply a softball game that cuts into bowling night. Whatever the event, Stan stresses the need for win-win situations to be created. This compromise works well to keep couples engaged and actively working for each other.When asked if anyone can learn these skills of creating win-wins and of being attuned to the needs of the delicate relationship ecosystem, Stan says it’s not a matter of capacity but of will.If you are chained to someone, you will work together to move successfully. If you are stranded on an island, you will work with your partner to survive. If you are locked in a room with the only stipulation being that you need to come to an agreement, you will think of something. It is will and not capacity.Stan’s Take on SexTo keep this brief, being transparent, communicating, cutting back on self-serving sexual practices, understanding the reasons for performance anxiety, and quickly addressing disagreements before your negative biases compound the problem are all aspects that are discussed in this episode. Check it out!We Versus MeStan closes out the episode by accentuating the importance of focusing on ‘we-ism’ over ‘me-ism’. If you can be mindful of instances in your life where self-serving behavior is harming the overall ‘we’ dynamic of the relationship, then shifting your priorities is essential.For much more on these powerful concepts, tune into this episode. Very impressive stuff.Key Links for Stan TatkinFor Training and Therapy: The PACT Institute - https://thepactinstitute.com/Stan’s Personal Website: https://stantatkin.com/Affiliate links for Stan’s books (meaning I earn a small commission on your purchase):We Do: Saying Yes to a Relationship of Depth, True Connection, and Enduring Love: https://amzn.to/2EcDOhNWired for Love: How Understanding Your Partner's Brain and Attachment Style Can Help You Defuse Conflict and Build a Secure Relationship https://amzn.to/2QL669ZWired for Dating: How Understanding Neurobiology and Attachment Style Can Help You Find Your Ideal Mate: https://amzn.to/2EdHsbuRelationship Rx: https://amzn.to/2SGQH83Your Brain on Love: The Neurobiology of Healthy Relationships: https://amzn.to/2Epptj8More info:Book and New Course - https://sexwithoutstress.comWeb - https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/Sex Health Quiz - http://sexhealthquiz.com/If you’re enjoying the podcast and want to be a part of making sure it continues in the future, consider being a patron. With a small monthly pledge, you can support the costs of putting this show together. For as little as $2 per month, you can get advance access to each episode. For just a bit more, you will receive an advance copy of a chapter of my new book. And for $10 per month, you get all that plus an invitation to an online Q&A chat with me once a quarter. Learn more at https://www.patreon.com/bettersexpodcastBetter Sex with Jessa Zimmermanhttps://businessinnovatorsradio.com/better-sex/

Stan Tatkin is the founder of A Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy®(PACT). He has worked with couples for more than fifteen years in his clinical practice. He teaches, he counsels, he writes, he does it all!Stan has authored a few very important books throughout his career, some of them including: Wired for Love, Your Brain on Love, Wired for Dating, and his latest and the driving point behind this interview, We Do: Saying Yes to a Relationship of Depth, True Connection, and Enduring Love. All in all, I am delighted to have Stan on the show. You are really going to get a lot out of this talk!The Difficulties of Cultivating a Cooperative and Collaborative RelationshipStan lays the groundwork for a secure-functioning relationship between couples. He says both participants in the relationship share power and mutually govern over each other to balance out the dynamic. Because we are perfectly imperfect as human beings, the dynamic is often skewed to one side. Collaboration is hard and positivity is just as difficult to maintain.To you who listen along, Stan will also take you down a fascinating neurological path when he explains our survival mechanisms and how the brain takes shortcuts. These facets of our development make it very hard to maintain secure relationships. Our states of mind, the many different perceptions we experience--of which Stan likens to a funhouse mirror--and our imperfect memories, are of many hurdles to overcome. For much more on this uphill climb, tune in.Threats and Shared GovernanceStan reminds us that the small ‘threats’, the eyerolls, the tone laced with animosity, the cold shoulder, passive aggression, all of it, can compound and show up in a very real biological sense. After time, you will view your spouse as a predator. Not in any malicious sense, but because of self-protective tendencies we have learned over our development, our perceptions can certainly be skewed unknowingly.Our capacity or tendency to be threatened in ingrained within us naturally. It can also be a result of upbringing as well. Some of it is triggered merely by standing eye-to-eye with one another; In addition, the principle of ‘shared governance’ can cause threats. Stan describes shared governance as shared principles that both parties believe in that will protect one from each other. He also tells us that this is how society works: we share a similar mythology, an analogous narrative is followed that reflects shared sentiments of governance.Really check out this episode to hear Stan explain it in much more detail.Putting the Relationship First?Stan stands by this practice. He says a lot of breakdown in relationships hinges on differences in focus. If both of you agree to put the kids first over the relationship, Stan believes everyone suffers. He doesn’t condone neglecting the child, but just like well-worn maxim of taking care of yourself before others, so too everyone benefits if there's a strong foundation to work with.The Couple BubbleThis interesting concept is described as two people protecting their relationship ‘ecosystem’. This system is built on accountability, that is, the push-and-pull of a symbiotic partnership where one action affects the other tangibly.Stan tells you to think of it this way: the couple bubble can either guarantee mutually assured destruction or mutually assured survival! Keeping the bubble in focus is extremely important.Much more is said. Do yourself a favor and listen along!What About Mutually Exclusive Needs?During the episode, the very crucial question of differing needs arise. What if there are instances, major or minor, where accommodating each other is very difficult. A job interview that necessitates a move, or simply a softball game that cuts into bowling night. Whatever the event, Stan stresses the need for win-win situations to be created. This compromise works well to keep couples engaged and actively working for each other.When asked if anyone can learn these skills of creating win-wins and of being attuned to the needs of the delicate relationship ecosystem, Stan says it’s not a matter of capacity but of will.If you are chained to someone, you will work together to move successfully. If you are stranded on an island, you will work with your partner to survive. If you are locked in a room with the only stipulation being that you need to come to an agreement, you will think of something. It is will and not capacity.Stan’s Take on SexTo keep this brief, being transparent, communicating, cutting back on self-serving sexual practices, understanding the reasons for performance anxiety, and quickly addressing disagreements before your negative biases compound the problem are all aspects that are discussed in this episode. Check it out!We Versus MeStan closes out the episode by accentuating the importance of focusing on ‘we-ism’ over ‘me-ism’. If you can be mindful of instances in your life where self-serving behavior is harming the overall ‘we’ dynamic of the relationship, then shifting your priorities is essential.For much more on these powerful concepts, tune into this episode. Very impressive stuff.Key Links for Stan TatkinFor Training and Therapy: The PACT Institute - https://thepactinstitute.com/Stan’s Personal Website: https://stantatkin.com/Affiliate links for Stan’s books (meaning I earn a small commission on your purchase):We Do: Saying Yes to a Relationship of Depth, True Connection, and Enduring Love: https://amzn.to/2EcDOhNWired for Love: How Understanding Your Partner's Brain and Attachment Style Can Help You Defuse Conflict and Build a Secure Relationship https://amzn.to/2QL669ZWired for Dating: How Understanding Neurobiology and Attachment Style Can Help You Find Your Ideal Mate: https://amzn.to/2EdHsbuRelationship Rx: https://amzn.to/2SGQH83Your Brain on Love: The Neurobiology of Healthy Relationships: https://amzn.to/2Epptj8More info:Book and New Course - https://sexwithoutstress.comWeb - https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/Sex Health Quiz - http://sexhealthquiz.com/If you’re enjoying the podcast and want to be a part of making sure it continues in the future, consider being a patron. With a small monthly pledge, you can support the costs of putting this show together. For as little as $2 per month, you can get advance access to each episode. For just a bit more, you will receive an advance copy of a chapter of my new book. And for $10 per month, you get all that plus an invitation to an online Q&A chat with me once a quarter. Learn more at https://www.patreon.com/bettersexpodcastBetter Sex with Jessa Zimmermanhttps://businessinnovatorsradio.com/better-sex/

Stan Tatkin is the founder of A Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy®(PACT). He has worked with couples for more than fifteen years in his clinical practice. He teaches, he counsels, he writes, he does it all! Stan has authored a few very important books throughout his career, some of them including: Wired for Love, Your Brain on Love, Wired for Dating, and his latest and the driving point behind this interview, We Do: Saying Yes to a Relationship of Depth, True Connection, and Enduring Love. All in all, I am delighted to have Stan on the show. You are really going to get a lot out of this talk! The Difficulties of Cultivating a Cooperative and Collaborative Relationship Stan lays the groundwork for a secure-functioning relationship between couples. He says both participants in the relationship share power and mutually govern over each other to balance out the dynamic. Because we are perfectly imperfect as human beings, the dynamic is often skewed to one side. Collaboration is hard and positivity is just as difficult to maintain. To you who listen along, Stan will also take you down a fascinating neurological path when he explains our survival mechanisms and how the brain takes shortcuts. These facets of our development make it very hard to maintain secure relationships. Our states of mind, the many different perceptions we experience--of which Stan likens to a funhouse mirror--and our imperfect memories, are of many hurdles to overcome. For much more on this uphill climb, tune in. Threats and Shared Governance Stan reminds us that the small ‘threats', the eyerolls, the tone laced with animosity, the cold shoulder, passive aggression, all of it, can compound and show up in a very real biological sense. After time, you will view your spouse as a predator. Not in any malicious sense, but because of self-protective tendencies we have learned over our development, our perceptions can certainly be skewed unknowingly. Our capacity or tendency to be threatened in ingrained within us naturally. It can also be a result of upbringing as well. Some of it is triggered merely by standing eye-to-eye with one another; In addition, the principle of ‘shared governance' can cause threats. Stan describes shared governance as shared principles that both parties believe in that will protect one from each other. He also tells us that this is how society works: we share a similar mythology, an analogous narrative is followed that reflects shared sentiments of governance. Really check out this episode to hear Stan explain it in much more detail. Putting the Relationship First? Stan stands by this practice. He says a lot of breakdown in relationships hinges on differences in focus. If both of you agree to put the kids first over the relationship, Stan believes everyone suffers. He doesn't condone neglecting the child, but just like well-worn maxim of taking care of yourself before others, so too everyone benefits if there's a strong foundation to work with. The Couple Bubble This interesting concept is described as two people protecting their relationship ‘ecosystem'. This system is built on accountability, that is, the push-and-pull of a symbiotic partnership where one action affects the other tangibly. Stan tells you to think of it this way: the couple bubble can either guarantee mutually assured destruction or mutually assured survival! Keeping the bubble in focus is extremely important. Much more is said. Do yourself a favor and listen along! What About Mutually Exclusive Needs? During the episode, the very crucial question of differing needs arise. What if there are instances, major or minor, where accommodating each other is very difficult. A job interview that necessitates a move, or simply a softball game that cuts into bowling night. Whatever the event, Stan stresses the need for win-win situations to be created. This compromise works well to keep couples engaged and actively working for each other. When asked if anyone can learn these skills of creating win-wins and of being attuned to the needs of the delicate relationship ecosystem, Stan says it's not a matter of capacity but of will. If you are chained to someone, you will work together to move successfully. If you are stranded on an island, you will work with your partner to survive. If you are locked in a room with the only stipulation being that you need to come to an agreement, you will think of something. It is will and not capacity. Stan's Take on Sex To keep this brief, being transparent, communicating, cutting back on self-serving sexual practices, understanding the reasons for performance anxiety, and quickly addressing disagreements before your negative biases compound the problem are all aspects that are discussed in this episode. Check it out! We Versus Me Stan closes out the episode by accentuating the importance of focusing on ‘we-ism' over ‘me-ism'. If you can be mindful of instances in your life where self-serving behavior is harming the overall ‘we' dynamic of the relationship, then shifting your priorities is essential. For much more on these powerful concepts, tune into this episode. Very impressive stuff. Key Links for Stan Tatkin For Training and Therapy: The PACT Institute - https://thepactinstitute.com/ Stan's Personal Website: https://stantatkin.com/ Affiliate links for Stan's books (meaning I earn a small commission on your purchase): We Do: Saying Yes to a Relationship of Depth, True Connection, and Enduring Love: https://amzn.to/2EcDOhN Wired for Love: How Understanding Your Partner's Brain and Attachment Style Can Help You Defuse Conflict and Build a Secure Relationship https://amzn.to/2QL669Z Wired for Dating: How Understanding Neurobiology and Attachment Style Can Help You Find Your Ideal Mate: https://amzn.to/2EdHsbu Relationship Rx: https://amzn.to/2SGQH83 Your Brain on Love: The Neurobiology of Healthy Relationships: https://amzn.to/2Epptj8 More info: Book and New Course - https://sexwithoutstress.com Web - https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/ Sex Health Quiz - http://sexhealthquiz.com/ If you're enjoying the podcast and want to be a part of making sure it continues in the future, consider being a patron. With a small monthly pledge, you can support the costs of putting this show together. For as little as $2 per month, you can get advance access to each episode. For just a bit more, you will receive an advance copy of a chapter of my new book. And for $10 per month, you get all that plus an invitation to an online Q&A chat with me once a quarter. Learn more at https://www.patreon.com/bettersexpodcast Better Sex with Jessa Zimmerman https://businessinnovatorsradio.com/better-sex/More info and resources: How Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.com The Course – https://www.intimacywithease.com The Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.com Podcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.com Access the Free webinar: How to make sex easy and fun for both of you: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcast Secret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcast

In this episode, Sal, Adam & Justin talk with Dr. Layne Norton. Would you like to be coached by Sal, Adam & Justin? You can get 30 days of virtual coaching from them for FREE at www.mindpumpmedia.com. The guys discuss the MURPH workout and the meaning behind it. (4:08) Are certain words discriminatory? Layne talks about his time in Australia. (6:45) Is morality based on religion or not? The Monk Debates platform and its brilliance. (8:21) Twitter beef?! Layne shares his love/hate relationship with Twitter and how he deals with trolls. (11:54) Can processed foods be healthy? Low Carb Zealics and the missing psychological piece behind our relationship with food. (15:35) Nutrition is a fingerprint: It is an individual variance. The confusion behind calories in vs. calories out and the science behind it. (21:00) Why does your body become efficient with calories? The science behind Reverse Dieting, metabolic adaptation,  calorie restriction for longevity in health,  adipose tissue adaptations and why people spin their wheels when it comes to dieting. (26:10) How to End Your Diet Better. Why you need to have a plan, how the brain has an impact on everything, stress triggers and specific foods he recommends. (58:53) How he uses intuitive eating in his life and the mantra of “minimum effective dose.” (1:16:20) What is the difference between hunger and cravings? Understanding our relationship with food and how too much of anything can be a bad thing. (1:23:00) What is the hierarchy of importance when it comes to health? (1:30:00) The Debate King: Dr. Layne Norton. The guys bring up the beef with Ben Greenfield and Joe Rogan and what causes him to stir the pot. (1:39:00) Technology advancements and its impact on health. (1:46:35) The importance of communication in a relationship and becoming more self-aware of your partner's needs. (1:50:00) The Avatar fallout and his current focus. (1:59:15) Does he have any fears of commitment or moving too fast? He talks about the house he recently bought with his girlfriend and punching above his weight class. (2:04:40) His current team, business model and plans for the future. (2:08:45) “I rather you hate me for everything I am, rather than love me for something I'm not.” What are the best/worst traits he picked up from his parents? (2:15:45) Featured Guest/People Mentioned: Layne Norton, PhD (@biolayne)  Instagram Biolayne | Official Website of Dr. Layne Norton biolayne – YouTube Physique Science Radio | Biolayne Holly Baxter (HB Nutrition) (@hollytbaxter)  Instagram Bryan Callen (@bryancallen)  Instagram Dr. Michael Ruscio (@drruscio)  Instagram Lyle McDonald Ben Pakulski (@ifbbbenpak)  Instagram Tom Bilyeu (@tombilyeu)  Instagram Greg Nuckols (@gregnuckols) Instagram Shawn Baker (@shawnbaker1967)  Instagram Chris “Boar” Bell (@bigstrongfast)  Instagram Paul Chek (@paul.chek)  Instagram Ben Greenfield (@bengreenfieldfitness) Instagram Joe Rogan (@joerogan)  Instagram Andy Galpin (@drandygalpin) Instagram Dominic D'Agostino (@DominicDAgosti2)  Twitter Jordan Peterson (@jordan.b.peterson)  Instagram Lisa Bilyeu (@lisabilyeu)  Instagram Andres Vargas, MS, CSCS, CISSN (@thestrengthcave) Instagram Gary Vaynerchuk (@garyvee) Instagram Related Links/Products Mentioned: The History Of the CrossFit Workout Murph Lone Survivor: The Eyewitness Account of Operation Redwing and the Lost Heroes of SEAL Team 10 - Marcus Luttrell Tony Blair - Munk Debates - Munk Debates Mixed Mental Arts Is The Secret To A Healthier Microbiome Hidden In The Hadza Diet? Seasonal cycling in the gut microbiome of the Hadza hunter-gatherers of Tanzania Reacting to fermented foods? Could be a histamine intolerance Thrifty gene hypothesis Ep 715-Mind Pump Goes Deep with Ben Pakulski The Fitness Industry Lied To You | Mind Pump on Health Theory Fasting for Longevity: 9 Questions for Dr. Valter D. Longo The Complete Contest Prep Guide | Biolayne Effects of Rapid Weight Loss on Systemic and Adipose Tissue Inflammation and Metabolism in Obese Postmenopausal Women Scientists turn white fat into obesity-fighting beige fat Holly Baxter – YouTube The link between memory and stress Intuitive Nutrition Guide | Mind Pump Media Optimising foods for satiety Taking a break from dieting may improve weight loss How to Undulate Your Calories for Faster Weight Loss & an Improved Metabolism Taste Receptor Genes The Dunning-Kruger Effect Shows Why Some People Think They're Great Even When Their Work Is Terrible Unplugged: Evolve from Technology to Upgrade Your Fitness, Performance, & Consciousness - Book by Andy Galpin, Brian MacKenzie, and Phil White Irresistible: The Rise of Addictive Technology and the Business of Keeping Us Hooked - Adam Alter Your Brain on Love: The Neurobiology of Healthy Relationships - Book by Stan Tatkin The Five Love Languages - Book by Gary Chapman Mind Pump Episode 730: Lisa Bilyeu- Quest Nutrition Cofounder & Media Mogul Mind Pump Episode 722: Layne Norton – Confessions Get our newest program, MAPS HIIT, an expertly programmed and phased High Intensity Interval Training program designed to maximize fat burn and improve conditioning. Get it at www.mindpumpmedia.com! Get MAPS Prime, MAPS Anywhere, MAPS Anabolic, MAPS Performance, MAPS Aesthetic, the Butt Builder Blueprint, the Sexy Athlete Mod AND KB4A (The MAPS Super Bundle) packaged together at a substantial DISCOUNT at www.mindpumpmedia.com. Make EVERY workout better with MAPS Prime, the only pre-workout you need… it is now available at mindpumpmedia.com Also check out Thrive Market! Thrive Market makes purchasing organic, non-GMO affordable. With prices up to 50% off retail, Thrive Market blows away most conventional, non-organic foods. PLUS, they offer a NO RISK way to get started which includes: 1. One FREE month's membership 2. $20 Off your first three purchases of $49 or more (That's $60 off total!) 3. Free shipping on orders of $49 or more You insure your car but do you insure YOU? If you don't, and you are the primary breadwinner, you will likely leave your loved ones facing hardship and struggle if you die (harsh reality). Perhaps you think life insurance is expensive, but if you are fit and healthy, you can qualify for approved rates that are truly inexpensive and affordable. To find out if you qualify for the best rates in the industry, go get a quote at www.HealthIQ.com/mindpump Have Sal, Adam & Justin personally train you via video instruction on our YouTube channel, Mind Pump TV. Be sure to Subscribe for updates. Get your Kimera Koffee at www.kimerakoffee.com, code "mindpump" for 10% off! Get Organifi, certified organic greens, protein, probiotics, etc at www.organifi.com Use the code “mindpump” for 20% off. Go to foursigmatic.com/mindpump and use the discount code “mindpump” for 15% off of your first order of health & energy boosting mushroom products. Add to the incredible brain enhancing effect of Kimera Koffee with www.brain.fm/mindpump 10 Free sessions! Music for the brain for incredible focus, sleep and naps! Also includes 20% if you purchase! Please subscribe, rate and review this show! Each week our favorite reviewers are announced on the show and sent Mind Pump T-shirts! Have questions for Mind Pump? Each Monday on Instagram (@mindpumpmedia) look for the QUAH post and input your question there. (Sal, Adam & Justin will answer as many questions as they can)

In this episode, Sal, Adam & Justin put Layne Norton to the test by asking him questions regarding his affair, his divorce, his injuries, his diet and the challenges he has recently faced and what he has learned. Put aside any preconceived ideas you have about Layne and hear him bare his soul for all to hear. When you lift heavy weights long enough, shit happens. Layne talks about his latest set-back that made him drop out of the Arnold Classic. (3:33) Looseness is the enemy of power – Stuart McGill I live for a comeback. How Layne lives to prove people wrong and challenge himself. (11:37) Forgot what I got into this industry for. The fallout from Avatar Nutrition and getting back to his passion projects. (15:22) Something is so painful to remind you not to do that shit again. He opens up about his affair, hard lessons he has learned, going through therapy and the impact it has had on him mentally. (17:45) How you perceive it that makes the difference. How he finds the mental strength to do the things he does, identity crisis and the trickle down effect it has had in his personal life. (47:00) Dogma. Flexible dieting vs. meal planning and his thoughts on diets. (59:51) I'm a pragmatist before all else. The guys discuss highly processed foods and their impact on the brain. (1:04:40) Never say never. The guys grill Layne on fasting and a deep/scientific conversation ensues. (1:16:18) Everyone has a right to an opinion. Layne talks being called out, fake, his integrity and expressing your opinions based on factual evidence. (1:30:30) People can learn from my mistakes. His final thoughts on his affair and why he put the video out. (1:54:00) Links/Products Mentioned: The Gift of Injury – Book by Stuart McGill and Brian Carroll Learning From My Mistakes - My Affair – (YouTube) Moral Truth Child Bullying's Consequence: Adult PTSD | Psychology Today How to Get the Body You Want With Flexible Dieting Wired to Eat: Turn Off Cravings, Rewire Your Appetite for Weight Loss, and Determine the Foods That Work for You – Book by Robb Wolf Is Internet Pornography Causing Sexual Dysfunctions? A Review with Clinical Reports Low-carb diets, fasting and euphoria: Is there a link between ketosis and gamma-hydroxybutyrate (GHB)? Autophagy Fasting-like diet turns the immune system against cancer Understanding the Warburg Effect: The Metabolic Requirements of Cell Proliferation Dunning–Kruger effect The Story of the Jason Blaha/Ice Cream Fitness Ordeal Your Brain on Love: The Neurobiology of Healthy Relationships – Book by Stan Tatkin Featured Guest/People Mentioned: Layne Norton, PhD (@biolayne)  Instagram Biolayne | Official Website of Dr. Layne Norton The Complete Contest Prep Guide – Book by Layne Norton Physique Science Radio | Biolayne Stuart McGill (@backfitpro)  Instagram Brian G Carroll (@briancarroll81) Instagram Holly Baxter (HB Nutrition) (@hollytbaxter) Instagram Eric Thomas (@Ericthomasbtc) Twitter Peter Baker (@peterbakernyt)  Twitter Matt Serra (@MattSerraUFC) Twitter Michael Jordan Suzanne Devkota (@Suzanne_Devkota) Twitter Valter Longo Dominic D'Agostino (@DominicDAgosti2)  Twitter Thomas DeLauer (@ThomasDeLauer)  Twitter Richard Burgess (@VeganGains)  Twitter Jason Blaha (@jasonblahafirearmsandfitness)  Instagram Find more about Layne at www.biolayne.com and order his new contest prep guide, The Complete Contest Prep Guide, at www.contestprepbook.com. Would you like to be coached by Sal, Adam & Justin? You can get 30 days of virtual coaching from them for FREE at www.mindpumpmedia.com. Get our newest program, MAPS Prime Pro, which shows you how to self assess and correct muscle recruitment patterns that cause pain and impede performance and gains. Get it at www.mindpumpmedia.com! Get MAPS Prime, MAPS Anywhere, MAPS Anabolic, MAPS Performance, MAPS Aesthetic, the Butt Builder Blueprint, the Sexy Athlete Mod AND KB4A (The MAPS Super Bundle) packaged together at a substantial DISCOUNT at www.mindpumpmedia.com. Make EVERY workout better with MAPS Prime, the only pre-workout you need… it is now available at mindpumpmedia.com Also check out Thrive Market! Thrive Market makes purchasing organic, non-GMO affordable. With prices up to 50% off retail, Thrive Market blows away most conventional, non-organic foods. PLUS, they offer a NO RISK way to get started which includes: 1. One FREE month's membership 2. $20 Off your first three purchases of $49 or more (That's $60 off total!) 3. Free shipping on orders of $49 or more You insure your car but do you insure YOU? If you don't, and you are the primary breadwinner, you will likely leave your loved ones facing hardship and struggle if you die (harsh reality). Perhaps you think life insurance is expensive, but if you are fit and healthy, you can qualify for approved rates that are truly inexpensive and affordable. To find out if you qualify for the best rates in the industry, go get a quote at www.HealthIQ.com/mindpump Have Sal, Adam & Justin personally train you via video instruction on our YouTube channel, Mind Pump TV. Be sure to Subscribe for updates. Get your Kimera Koffee at www.kimerakoffee.com, code "mindpump" for 10% off! Get Organifi, certified organic greens, protein, probiotics, etc at www.organifi.com Use the code “mindpump” for 20% off. Go to foursigmatic.com/mindpump and use the discount code “mindpump” for 15% off of your first order of health & energy boosting mushroom products. Add to the incredible brain enhancing effect of Kimera Koffee with www.brain.fm/mindpump 10 Free sessions! Music for the brain for incredible focus, sleep and naps! Also includes 20% if you purchase! Please subscribe, rate and review this show! Each week our favorite reviewers are announced on the show and sent Mind Pump T-shirts! Have questions for Mind Pump? Each Monday on Instagram (@mindpumpmedia) look for the QUAH post and input your question there. (Sal, Adam & Justin will answer as many questions as they can)

She loves me. She loves me not. She loves me. She loves me not... Ever spent a moment...or several years(!) wondering whether your mate is right for you—or if you're right for them? You're sure as hell not alone. Romantic relationships are seriously confusing, and much of the time we're unaware of our true feelings because our brains work most happily in autopilot mode. If you're ready for a deeper dive into the land of love (or, not-love), listen to our conversation with Stan Tatkin, clinician, researcher, teacher, and developer of the Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy (PACT). Stan teaches family medicine residents at Kaiser Permanente, Woodland Hills, CA, and is an assistant clinical professor at the UCLA David Geffen School of Medicine, Department of Family Medicine. He is author of several books, including Wired for Dating: How Understanding Neurobiology and Attachment Style Can Help You Find Your Ideal Mate, and Wired for Love: How Understanding Your Partner’s Brain and Attachment Style Can Help You Defuse Conflict and Build a Secure Relationship, and Your Brain on Love: The Neurobiology of Healthy Relationships. Visit: www.MeditateThisPodcast.com