Guy Friends Podcast

This episode is a doozy! The Guy Friends get an email from a married listener who wants to give his wife of 12 years the lesbian experimentation she's always wanted. Think that's heavy? It's nothing compared to... THE TOOTHBRUSH LONG CON. Has a listener become ensnared in a web of sex, deceit, and Oral-B Pro-Flex™ toothbrushes? Her guy *claims* that the extra toothbrush in the bathroom is all for her. But where did it come from? What angle is he playing? Is that... LIPSTICK on the handle?! Tune in for the craziest caper the Guy Friends have ever encountered. RL Grime Hey Ma (RL Grime Remix) - Cam'ron Ft. Juelz Santana https://soundcloud.com/rlgrime/hey-ma-rl-grime-remix-camron CC BY 3.0

Pack up the U-HAUL and break out your sneakers — it's a whole episode about sharing space. A listener was granted Late Sleeping Rights by a dude she's boinking. But do Late Sleeping Rights also confer Showering Privileges under the Articles of Copulation? Is it fair and reasonable to commandeer a towel in homo absentia, or does permission to do so need to be written and notarized? Justice Ginsburg weighs in. This begs the greater philosophical question before humankind: when do you move in together? thequartermaine The Notorious B.I.G. - Biggie Don't Deserve You (The Quartermaine Blend) CLEAN https://soundcloud.com/thequartermaine/biggie-dont-deserve-you-the CC BY 3.0

Day 57: Supplies are running low, morale's even lower. You've been alternating thumbs to keep up, but you're not sure how long you'll last before the Swipe Madness takes you. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a familiar face pops up among the sea of Mikes and Brandons: it's a dude you're cool with IRL. Is this... salvation? Or the broken writhing of a dying madwoman? And your dating profile: is it bad? Mr.Masher Hey Ya vs. Birdman, Drake, Lil Wayne https://soundcloud.com/mr-masher-1/hey-ya-vs-birdman-drake-lil CC BY 3.0

You know what's cooler than a million dollars? Dating advice. Remember the early days of Facebook? Remember the poke? Remember creeping on people's posts to figure out whether they were fucking? The Guy Friends wade into the varied and tribal nature of modern messaging platforms. Is the Facebook message still the laughable domain of the drunk and the thirsty, and should we avoid it when asking each other out? Give us your BBM PIN to find out! jamiemclean Chingy - Alwayz Be My Balla (Jamie McLean Mashup) https://soundcloud.com/jamiemclean-1/alwayz-be-my-balla-jamie-mclean-mashup CC BY 3.0

The Guy Friends are all back in the same city! Now you can ship items on our Amazon Wishlist to the same address for added convenience. Our first question is a rare one from a ~straight male~ struggling with commitment issues — he can't get an older woman to settle down for him. Is she stringing him along? Is there some way he can wrangle this into satisfactory situation for everyone? And a listener is disappointed that her dude isn't making the most of himself. Can she nudge him into putting down the bong and picking up a book? Or even just a novella? The Guy Friends spark up a blunt... and honest discourse of this all-too-common mindset affecting young people these days. SupaflyTNT Getting Back Together Is Just A Dream (Taylor Swift x Nelly) https://soundcloud.com/supaflytnt/getting-back-together-is-just CC BY 3.0

Woe! 'Tis the last episode produc'd by our own Lauren Chooljian. Will the Guy Friends finally discover her embezzling? Nope! Is there a good way to bestow a ~teachable moment~ unto a whiny, self-involved dude you're seeing? When someone suffers from inertia and poor perspective, is it worth your time to hold up a mirror? We're all just hurtling through space on a doomed rock, but the Guy Friends give their two cents all the same. And weddings — we all hate them. But what's the best way to hide your scorn? Should you obscure your face with an Eyes Wide Shut mask, or just a simple wedding veil of your own? Tune in for this summer's hottest hate fashions. DJ Hasan Music DJ Hasan ft. Conor Maynard - Good Ones Go (Organ Piano Mix) https://soundcloud.com/djhasanmusic/dj-hasan-ft-conor-maynard-good CC BY 3.0

The Guy Friends are back from vacation, and ready to get sand in your couch! Just how much personal hygiene is necessary between sex partners? It's a conundrum as old as antiquity, when a Roman dude could bone as many as V people within a tick of the sundial. Is a full shower necessary? And how *long* of a shower? What if it was just second-and-a-half base, yesterday? The Guy Friends supply yet another patented rubric. And few areas of the human experience have generated as many memes as the intersection of human height and online dating. "I'm 5 ft, 9 in., JUST SAYIN!!" But what are we really *saying* here, Madison? And when a man neglects to provide any height at all — what does that say? The Guy Friends unpack these statements. Mastamonk Fetty Wap-Trap Queen (Mastamonk Remix) https://soundcloud.com/mastamonk1/fetty-wap-trap-queen-mastamonk-remix CC BY 3.0

APRIL FOOLS! We have a brand new episode, and the jokes on you — our advice is questionable. A listener struggles with the... ethics? Technicalities? Standard operating procedures? Of sleeping with a dude who still lives with his ex on the tails of their recent break-up. And meeting via Skype before an actual first date — is it reasonable for someone to ask to see you before pad see ew? Chad Hugo St. Vincent - Digital Witness - (Chad Hugo Remix) https://soundcloud.com/hugo-chad/st-vincent-digital-witness-chad-hugo-remix CC BY 3.0

How do you continue to get dates with someone? A listener is always falling short of the ~coveted fourth date~ with dudes she likes, and gets asked out by dudes she doesn't. What's the secret passphrase that obligates a man to see you again? Somehow the Guy Friends have never answered this in their three years of podcasting — we appreciate your patience. And a listener's boyf feels weird about letting her take him out on slightly fancier dates because he earns much less. Despite her pleas to fance-it-up only occasionally & on her own dime, he can't allow her to upgrade him. What's a girl gotta do to go out on the town? Jennifer Lopez feat. Ja Rule - I'm Real [Remix] / Rear View [Alex Dicconson's Quick Mash] Alex Dicconson http://soundcloud.com/alexdicconson/jennifer-lopez-feat-ja-rule-im-real-remix-rear-view-alex-dicconsons-quick-mash CC BY 3.0

A listener was seeing a dude for literal *months* — exchanging gifts, meeting friends, having a blast — until one day he goes silent immediately before some big plans. What transpires after boggles the mind. Can the Guy Friends decode the mystery of this hyper-ghost? And actual trigger warning: a listener describes her run-in with careless BDSM on a Tinder date. La Roux - In For The Kill (Broadway Slim Remix) PicksterOne https://soundcloud.com/picksterone/la-roux-in-for-the-kill CC BY 3.0

Were you on the edges of your respective seats? After the horrors of the dreaded Set II, we were too. The Guy Friends tackle the remaining 12 questions of the 36 questions posed by the NYT's infamous "To Fall in Love With Anyone, Do This" article: http://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/fashion/modern-love-to-fall-in-love-with-anyone-do-this.html Tune in for the climactic climax, featuring a hashtag rare thirty-sex seconds-long It's Never Too Kate! Ne-Yo Miss Independent (DJ Stephen Remix) DJ S2M https://soundcloud.com/stephen-mohammed/ne-yo-miss-independent-dj CC BY 3.0

The Guy Friends are back to tackle a recent article that made quite a stir across the Infonet. Is it possible to fall deeply, madly, & truly in love with a stranger by answering 36 questions and staring at someone for a bit? http://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/fashion/modern-love-to-fall-in-love-with-anyone-do-this.html Join the Guy Friends as they take a look at this study and its questions across two episodes. You can even follow along: http://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/fashion/no-37-big-wedding-or-small.html WAIT, before we start — you're not into destination weddings, are you? Hues Corporation - Rock the Boat (Javier Estrada Bootleg) djjavierestrada https://soundcloud.com/djjavierestrada/hues-corporation-rock-the-boat CC BY 3.0

Happy New Year! In celebration of the Earth’s birthday, we made it a brand new episode. You’re welcome! A listener was recently exposed to a new term by some guy friends of her own: “cohabbing,” v. gerund, “to spend quality time with a partner one lives with.” This has her wondering: just how accepting are dudes of their bros spending QT with their live-in QTs? And yet another QT is in the early stages of dating a man who is slightly younger than she is — by a whopping two years! In her mind she feels that age ain’t nothing but a number, but in her *heart* she feels that this dude is too immature. Just how OK is it to fret over such a slim gap? The Weeknd ft. Drake & TLC - "Gone" [DJ 2o1 rmx] DJ2o1 https://soundcloud.com/2o1/9-the-weeknd-ft-drake-tlc-gone CC BY 3.0

The Guy Friends are back to celebrate that fateful time, ages ago, when a single question provided #content for eight miraculous episodes... A listener is seeing a new dude, and she can tell he's into her — so into her, he wants to collaborate with her on a ~creative exploit~. She's concerned that it may be a poor decision in both areas. Is it reasonable that she's hesitant to Rodger her Hammerstein? And a listener started to get to know a group of friends — one of whom she went on a date with. The date was a flop, but she wants to continue bro-ing down with the whole crew. There seems to still be a little tension there — what's the best way to handle it? Mister Luke O'Hearn Spice Girls - Wannabe (Mister Luke's "Dem Spice Grrlz Doe" Edit) https://soundcloud.com/mister-luke-ohearn/spice-girls-wannabe-mister CC BY 3.0

The Guy Friends return with a study in expectations. It’s not that we want you to listen — we just want you to want to listen. A listener visits a dude she’s sort of seeing in his own city, and he doesn’t pay for anything. The independent human in her wants to think that’s fine, but she’s having trouble reconciling the deeply-ingrained notion that he should at least offer. Is it OK to expect him to cover 51% or more of a check every now and again? Or should she get used to the new and double-sided frontier of ~ungendered dating norms?~ And a listener wonders: what if *she’s* the one who doesn’t want to use a condom? Is Black Friday too early to unwrap your present? All Night Long (Darth and Vader Feat. LMFAO, Ellie Goulding, Mann) 3LAU https://soundcloud.com/3lau/all-night-long CC BY 3.0

We’re back, and fucking FULL of Whoppers. Yes: WHOPPERS. How much is too much Mom-talk? A listener has had to endure an earful of Mom-centric chatter. But is she wrong to want to change the subject? The Guy Friends are famous for their pro-Mom stance, but even they can agree there’s a limit. A first date goes great — how soon is too soon to setup a second? Is it better to play it cool, or stay on top of your schedule? The Guy Friends — in their Branson-like wisdom — advocate for the latter. And what to do when a guy takes the female orgasm as a challenge? When a dude can’t see the forest through but a single tree, how can you convince him that not all sex needs to follow the same script — and that that’s OK? Hideaway - Kiesza (HouseMeanzHouse Bootleg) House Meanz House https://soundcloud.com/scott-mcl/hideaway-kiesza-housemeanzhouse-bootleg CC BY 3.0

We’re back, and more juvenile than ever! What do you do when the guy you’re seeing is an extremely picky eater? A listener’s dude is reluctant to eat outside the box. How should you handle it when someone’s food preferences are starting to impact Date Night… and possibly even your attraction to someone? Is this an area of compatibility that can be worked on? And finally we discuss… ~shudder~... weak kiss game. Latch - Disclosure Ft. Sam Smith (Edwah Dubstep Remix) https://soundcloud.com/edwah-radio/latch-disclosure-ft-sam-smith-edwah-dubstep-remix Edwah Radio [CC BY 3.0]

The Guy Friends are back to help you get a grip, on all kinds of stuff! A listener is still mad about a semi-betrayal from two years ago. A seasonal gig at a camp brought her close to a coworker — who then faded out to be with another girl! Fast-forward to today: despite having a boyfriend of her own and the original guy being long gone, she cannot bear to be around this other woman. How can she best handle her issues with this person? What do you do when water under the bridge still roils with the hate of a hundred storms? A hundred!!! And a listener has been monitoring her boyfriend’s personal lubricant levels. The rate of... ~depletion~ has her concerned. But is she LUBE-SHAMING him? The Guy Friends sliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiide in to deliver some wisdom. "Ride Wit Me" Acxethedeadpoet (instant crak mixtape) ACETHEDEADPOET https://soundcloud.com/acethedeadpoet/ride-wit-me CC BY 3.0

The Guy Friends have returned with our first remote, ~tape-synced~ episode. We’re sorry for the… ...delay! A listener’s not-extremely close friend has some serious thoughts about her bringing a plus one to her wedding: she’s demanding it! Is it strange — boorish, even — to demand that she schlep a buddy? Who among her friends should she select as obligatory arm candy. Surprisingly, the Guy Friends manage to provide a totally reasonable calculus for bringing a bro in tow. And a listener wants to sleep with a foreign friend whenever he’s in town on business. He’s also down, but wants it to be more than just a FWB-type situation. He wants a fully-fledged, long distance poly relationship. Because he’s also married. Writing more might just confuse you — just listen in, folks!

The Creep-Out Cock-Block, and Fly Fishing Out Your Bait & Tackle After a move-related month-long hiatus, the Guy Friends are back, reminding you to be careful what you wish for... A listener is re-watching True Detective with a guy she just started boning. As their second Sex n’ Watch approaches, she’s starting to grow concerned about a particularly disturbing scene that she knows is coming up in the next episode. Is it possible that this uncomfortable moment (which the Guy Friends have not seen) might give her lover’s willy the willies? What’s a good way to bounce back from non-sexy adult content and into the bedroom? We round our return out with a hyper-detailed discussion on underwear flies. Didn’t you miss us? Sam Smith -When It's Alright (Tomcraft) (Soulblime) CC BY 3.0

How big a deal is it to bring one’s significant other to a family wedding? Everyone’s there, including family you haven’t seen in years, and the photos and memories will last a lifetime. So if your invitation allows for a plus-one, is it crazy-intense to BYOB (Bring Your Own Bae)? L’chiam! And a listener had a breakup after moving away, hooked up with the guy during a brief visit, and now she’s back for good… but he’s not being too communicative. What’s going on? Is thier history acting as a blocker for a future together? The Guy Friends remind you that love is an astronaut… Jay-Z & UGK + Kaytranada = Big Pimpin (Duncan Gerow) CC BY 3.0

When and how is it best to end a causal relationship? A listener ask for the correct etiquette when it comes to executing a non-breakup. When is it acceptable to gracefully and wordlessly go your separate ways, and when do you owe them a conversation? Does it matter if you haven’t spoken for a while? And a listener had a theoretical conversation with her best brofriend about whether she’d be the Best Person at his imaginary wedding. His fiancée had a purely rhetorical thoughts to the contrary. Is our listener’s friend-in-law being unreasonable or old-fashioned? Does she even have a say? The Guy Friends advise RSVPing with the utmost delicacy. Jason Derulo Ft. Snoop Dogg - Wiggle (Bassel Remix) (DJ Bassel) CC BY 3.0

~Sexxxi pixx~ n0oDz Lascivious daguerreotypes. You get the picture. But how concerned should you be about those images falling into the wrong hands? Are there ways to mitigate the risks of them going rogue? Or should we be avoiding this practice altogether? And what do guys do with them once they have them? The Guy Friends weigh the pros and cons of our generation’s most-cherished art medium. And a more serious segment about acceptance in the wilds of conservative Michigan. A gay listener’s date bailed on attending her best friend’s wedding because her fiancée is a homophobe, and his family isn’t likely to be much better. How should she parse her partner’s feelings? Is she allowed to begrudge her choice even a little bit? And where does the best friend fit into all of this? LOYAL VS AEROSOL CAN VS BEAT IT~~DJ B M O 7 S~~REGGAE REMIXX (♛~MotskeeMusic~♛) CC BY 3.0

We don’t know where you live, but here in Chicago it’s finally decent outside, and the Guy Friends are so excited that it’s all they can talk about. Tune-in for a careful consideration of the pros and cons of summer dating. Is it all that different? Are porch and stoop hangouts worth the unbearability of sweaty snuggling? Is it easier or more difficult find a summer bae? Please hit us up if you think we missed any! Christina Aguilera vs. Ariana Grande& Iggy Azalea - Your Problem (DjPyromania 2) CC BY 3.0

A listener is in an otherwise-great relationship, but wants more... in bed. How can she best bring up her particular proclivities without bruising the fragile, fawn-like ego of her boyfriend? When & where should she broach the issue? Guy Friends suggest you go for the gold — the opportunity costs are high when you're missing out on pleasure. And we've said on the podcast before that you need not heed your friend's discontented murmurs about your significant other... but of course there's an exception for everything. At what point is it appropriate to tell your friend that their Sig O sucks? What degree of dick-itude is necessary to speak up? And how do you play it cool when your own Sig O choices are called into question? The Guy Friends warn that a dick should only be cleft in twain with Solomon-esque wisdom. You Make It Flash [Chromeo Vs. Queen] (dsaintradio) CC BY 3.0

It's our yearly Mothers Day episode! The Guy Friends’ own Moms called in with questions, and we dutifully responded without sounding impatient or like we had something better to do! Aaron's Mom calls in to discuss family gaming moments. Are there any memories of card or board game from our youth that resonate? Did any of them serve as a ~teachable moment~? We call our Moms’ bluff. And Josh’s Mom has a super-deep question about legacy. What sort of imprint does a Mom leave in the fabric of space and time? What deeds and qualities will we remember them by? This question is really, really deep! And Lauren’s Mom calls in to commemorate the occasion with a real tear-jerker. We’re a MESS right now! Fleetwood Mac - Littles Lies (JPL Remix) (DiscoCuen) CC BY 3.0

The Rules of Dating. What are they? Are there any? Are there at least a few guidelines? If you were to summarize the bulletpoints in an easy-to-read, illustrated pamphlet stowed away in an airplane seatback pocket, where in the fuselage would the emergency exits be located? The Guy Friends remind you that tampering with another’s heart is a felony. What to do about those Facebook messages from strange men that are little more than an Announcement of Male Existence? Friend of the podcast Katie Heaney pondered this in a recent blog post and the Guy Friends weigh in. Is it worth it to engage with a blistering salvo of life-changing knowledge bombs? Or is discretion the better part of keeping your sanity? Fancy vs. Rack City - Tyga and Iggy Azalea (Mashup!) (DiLaurentisMashups) CC BY 3.0

A listener ponders whether she has an obligation to dump a dude that… she’s not interested in? Is it reasonable — or allowable — to continue seeing someone that you’re sort of Meh about? Are there legitimate alternative reasons why one might stay with someone such a dude? Just… be real, guys. And a twice-slept-with guy failed to impress another listener. Is he worth a third shot (as a rhetorical question — she’s going to dump him anyway)? Maybe there’s a perfectly understandable explanation for why this potential sex god wasn’t able to perform according to her expectations… right? Right?! Crazy in the Deep (Gnarls Barkley vs. Adele) (LUKEINTERNET) CC BY 3.0

A listener broke up with her boyfriend after she moved — now he’s moving to where she is, and she’s interested in getting back with him. There’s just one problem: his friends don’t like her. Just how much should one care about how dude’s friend regard them? Should you make any moves to right any perceived wrongs? You don’t have the tune in for the answer: No, no you do not. A boo’d up listener laments her friend’s unabiding & melodramatic thirst. Every perceived slight or unreturned glance from a dude sends her full tilt into lamentation! How can this patient pal deliver the necessary #knowledgedarts of self-love and self-reliance to her friend without burning a bridge (or going crazy?)? wait what - over empathy (drake vs crystal castles) (wait what) CC BY 3.0

It’s late at night when your phone illuminates. Deep in the pit your stomach, you know what awaits: an extremely sexual text from your drunk platonic dude friend. A listener got a handful from a taken man-buddy of hers, promising a cornucopia of oral delights. Yet he seemed ashamed of these sexual textuals when she confronted him about them. So what’s the deal? Is their relationship any different? And someone wants to know if there are any compliments, pick-up lines, or come-ons that have worked on the Guy Friends. Are there any phrases, gestures or general attitudes that can reliably get a dude to Open Sesame? Aretha Franklin - Rock Steady (Pecoe Edit) (breakzlinkz) CC BY 3.0

It’s an ultra-rare Dudepisode — in going through the questions from our infamous live show, the Guy Friends found a few interesting Dude Queries to think about. We hope you enjoy: The post-breakup stuff swap. How does one gingerly and very practically negotiate the delicate logistics of trading one’s mortal pelf with an ex-betrothed? What if they said they never want to see or hear from you again? Should one seek to broker an in-good-faith trade? Or should one simply move on from what the Lord taketh away, and celebrate what he giveth? And a valuable question about everyone’s favorite topic: DICK PIX. Our male friend wonders if a dick pic has ever “worked.” We all know that sending an unsolicited picture of your penis to someone is bad, but -- ...sorry — we do know that’s bad, right? The Guy Friends give some much needed perspective to those who are taking their selfies at all the wrong angles. Something About You (Chromeo & Solange Knowles x Louis La Roche & Ad Apt) (DJ Topsider) CC BY 3.0

In this episode: When is it time to DTR (define the relationship)? A listener asks for a reliable rubric for creating a proper context around whatever it is that you’ve been doing. Should one ask after... one month? Three months? 100 sexes? The Guy Friends can’t speak to whatever you and yours are doing, but they both agree that the DTR is on a Need To Know basis. And what would the Guy Friends do if they felt pressured to perform a GRG (Grand Romantic Gesture)? Would they, like… do a dinner cruise thing? How much does that cost? Or like a candle-lit dinner thing? I dunno… organize a flashmob? WHATEVER. How should we navigate the treacherous terrain of bombastically-unrealistic expectations in this day and age? The Guy Friends remind us all: it’s the thought that counts. Rita Ora - How We Do (Party) (DJ Keith Marshall's Tomorrowland Blaster) (DJ Keith Marshall) CC BY 3.0

In this episode: A listener struggles with her casual hookup’s staunch conservatism! As a strict Republican, he’d restrict her reproductive rights if it were his call… and yet, the boning continues apace. Should she cut him off for his politics? Where does the actual sex factor into this debate? The Guy Friends… well, frankly the Guy Friends tread pretty lightly on this one — this is America, dude. And a listener has questions about the social pressures around men and dancing. Is the Average Joe expected to trip the light fantastic with an Usher-like canniness? The Guy Friends assure you that in today’s world, even a little groove goes a long way. Fallin' - Alicia Keys (Miroslav Losonsky Remix) (Miroslav Losonsky) CC BY 3.0

In this episode: A friend can’t quite get past the thought of her boyfriend constantly hanging out with his cohort of female grad students… lithe, supple grad students. A certain measure of jealousy is healthy — but how much is pushing it? Can the Guy Friends help her get over these semi-rational hangups? Tune in for a doctorate-level course on relationship Zen. And how does one elegantly transition from texting to sexting? The question held a gasp on her lips as the Guy Friends’ rough hands groped at her soft mysteries with the ferocity of a dire wolf. Her mind was a blur between their deep, hungry kisses. If the Duke were to discover us… Redial (Blondie feat. Ludacris and Gorillaz)(@marcfaletti) CC BY 3.0

In this episode: A friend's Friend with Benefits is dropping hints that he may want to be... actual friends? How should one respond to a completely decent proposal? Should she let this grow, or nip it in the fuckbud? The Guy Friends remind you that they have personalities, too, ya know!!! And a listener is going out of town for a few months and wants to leave her own FWB with temporarily-parting gift. But what do the Guy Friends think of the gift of pornographic materials? Would it be uncouth for our listener to expand her lover’s spank bank? Wouldn’t a nice card, or a modest Edible Arrangement suffice? Good Die Young (Kesha x Owl City ft. Carly Rae Jepsen x Flo Rida) (SYNTEX) CC BY 3.0

In this episode: A friend has moved in with her significant other, but is unsure of how to best navigate having a solo "sesh" in the absence of true alone time. Is jumping right in allowable when your new roommate is sleeping right next to you? The Guy Friends remind you that you paid for the space — own it! And a listener asks the Guy Friends whether doing the podcast for two full years as made them better lovers, communicators... people. We look back on our rich and storied history to consider how we've learned, grown, and disappointed millions in the process. Miguel - Do You (silent murda remix) (Silent Murda) CC BY 3.0

In this episode: We. Are LIVE. After much organizing, contract signing, Facebooking, and booze hauling, the Guy Friends answered your questions in front of a live studio audience! We smell great in person! Is it acceptable to text someone about a newly-discovered STD? Just how much temptation is a dude in a long-distance relationship exposed to? Blue Balls: The Truth Behind the Myth (Horton, Aaron and Nalven, Joshua. Chicago: Guy Friends Podcast, 2014. Mixed media) What to do with all those pesky, horny exes who suddenly appear once you're single? And finally: searching for a sexy porn signal amid all the filthy, filthy noise. Our deepest thanks to our friends at Early to Bed, First Floor Theatre, and The Nerdologues for so thoughtfully contributing raffle prizes!

In this episode: The Roommate Switch. A listener asks how to best perform this ~forbidden majyk~ . After getting luke-ish warm-ish signals from a guy, but then getting sexy-awesome signals from his cohabitation relation (but then getting accidentally sleeping with the first guy), it it still possible to do the impossible? Can the Guy Friends walk her through making The Switch?! And a listener's long-distance, super-serious boyfriend sent her some... Unmentionables. But much to her chagrin, the lingerie makes her uncomfortable! Should she have a talk with her guy about her tastes and preferences, or should she hope that it get swept under the rug? The Guy Friends try to determine when it'd be most appropriate to speak your mind. Shakira feat. Rihanna - Cant Remember To Forget You (GBROOKE FUNKY REMIX) (Dj Lamonnz (GBROOKE)) CC BY 3.0

In this episode: An OkCupid message. A spark! ...then a missed connection. A trip to Ireland. A message! A date after all! Drinks, playful punches, a great time, and... no kiss?! The Guy Friends examine a fantasy date with a less-than-happy ending. And a listener wonders whether it would be an violation of the Geneva Conventions to have a serious relationship conversation without a bra? As trained U.N. inspectors, it is up to the Guy Friends to determine whether bralessness is a WMD (Weapon of More-than-Dating). Electric Youth x Mariah Carey - Right Back Together (adam ballin') CC BY 3.0

In this episode: A listener coming off a relationship is rethinking personality types: her ex liked to party hard while she preferred a more < href="https://31.media.tumblr.com/718e60dbc53d18e018a7aba04f76857c/tumblr_n06zceY3o61s0absto1_500.jpg">low-key environment. Should she avoid That Type in the future? The Guy Friends assure you that you don't need labels to make your own fun. And what's the best way to compliment a dude? A friend laments that the dudes in her life can't take one without withering, or denying it, &c. &c &c. Is there a good way to shower someone with praise extra-earnestly? GUY FRIENDS ALERT: This is your reminder of our upcoming anniversary party and live taping! If you're in the Chicagoland area on Sat. Feb. 15th, then you have no excuse. Come hang with us! DJ Sheav- Finally Juicy (Biggie Smalls vs. Pretty Lights) (Sheav) CC BY 3.0

In this episode: A listener ponders that ancient riddle: is the act of scarfing hotwings an inherently unattractive act? Though basic politeness is the tangiest addition to any date night, the Guy Friends are not food-ist! Is it possible that an innocent joke about communicable disease resulted in a gross miscommunication? Our friend razzes a date about the strep throat he gave her, and he disappears. Was her good-natured ribbing a dating Kiss of Death? URGENT GUY FRIENDS ALERT: We’re throwing a two year anniversary party and hosting a live taping in the same awesome event! If you live in or near Chicago, or are independently wealthy, you should come out — we’d love to meet you! Beyoncé - Drunk In Love (Lemi Vice x Action Jackson Remix (DJActionJackson) CC BY 3.0

In this episode: A listener used to hookup with a literal cowboy who moved off to Nashville and got married with someone he met that week. Yes, that’s right — that isn’t a country song, or a horrible joke. Two years later, he’s liking her selfies on Instagram. Is he trying to rustle up some lovin’ from another ranch? Is sixty-nining two nights in a row enough to constitute one (1) sex? Does it matter? Fed up with the metric, U.S. customary, apothecary, and avoirdupois systems of measuring sexual units, the Guy Friends help you recalibrate your sex meters right down to the nanoflirt. One Direction - Best song ever ( The Dam remix ) (Dam on Mars) CC BY 3.0

What's the deal with serial daters? A listener wonders whether those always-attached people seem justifiably creepy for a reason. The Guy Friends try to unpack the various dating styles that might make someone go straight for the soulmate. We have feedback! Our friend writing in from the heart of Eastern Deciduousness has pulled the trigger on her nature preserve workplace romance, and needs a few more pointers. And finally: buttholes. We've all noticed them. Some of us have even glanced at them. But are we glancing enough? Night Drive (Skrillex & Ellie Goulding x Coyote Kisses) (DJ Topsider) CC BY 3.0

In this episode: A well-

In this episode: A listener doesn’t know how to handle a smallish-crush-who-just-broke-up-with-someone-and-was-super-conversational-about-it-and-they-were-flirting-a-lot-but-then-at-a-party-her-friend-madeout-with-him-a-little-bit-and-now-he’s-texting-her-weirdly — one of those situations. How does one navigate out of the dreaded Weird Middle Area with workplace suitors? The Guy Friends suggest a map for avoiding it in the first place. And when and how ought we be deploying the L word with our significant others? Tune in for a concise treatise on how this antiquated vestige of The Dark Ages offers nothing but turmoil. SHATTER YOUR CHAINS. UNYOLK THYSELF FROM THIS GESTURAL SLAVERY. Kelly Clarkson - Catch My Breath (J.M. Skillz Remix)(Radio Edit) (DJ Skillz aka J.M. Skillz) CC BY 3.0

In this episode: How do you flirt with a feminist? How do you catch a cloud and pin it down? A ~DIAMOND LEVEL CONTRIBUTOR~ asks the Guy Friends for their perspective... if there is one. Are there any meaningful differences between an outspoken gynocrat and and anyone else? Though there's not a firm distinction to work with, the Guy Friends do have advice for when the subject comes up. And a listener has been hooking-up with a Tinder catch who has been texting her constantly, and is thus far unfazed by a dreaded lack of penetrative vaginal sex. What's this guy's angle, and should she feel bad about not being in the mood for a touch of the ole' in-and-out? Is it possible that in a heap of swipes, she discovered the undiscoverable: an OK dude? Avicii - Wake Me Up (Moises Naves Edit Remake) (Moises Naves) CC BY 3.0

In this episode: A listener asks the Guy Friends to give their critical readings on the Modern Romantic Comedy. Are these tales of finding fulfillment through meeting Mr. Right inherently misogynistic? What would a more empowering ”take on the genre look like? Be warned: don’t ask questions of the Cosmos if you’re not prepared for the answers… On a partially related note, a listener asks the Guy Friends for their opinion on gender swap roleplay in the bedroom. How ought you navigate making your man into your Pretty Woman for a night? It may surprise you to learn which roles the Guy Friends consider experimental, and which are just another day at the races. Kylie Minogue - Put Your Hands Up (Brian Cua Extended Pride Mix) (djbriancua) CC BY 3.0

In this episode: A listener was recently released from years of captivity and is ready to conquer the dating wilds! The Hunt is already decent, but our spearsister nevertheless wants advice on the etiquette of casual dating. How does one play catch-and-release with a variety of prey without endangering any wildlife? The Guy Friends advise staying focused on that day’s target. Conversely, a date-turned-"friend" has shockingly betrayed his true feelings — again. What should one do about a guy who can't quite grasp a fade-to-friendship, or worse — chooses not to? Sometimes you just have to make like a drunk carpenter and drop the hammer! [What is this. Are you drunk again? — Ed.] John Legend ft. Ludacris - Tonight (Best You Ever Had) (silent murda reggae remix) (Silent Murda) CC BY 3.0

In this episode: When is it appropriate to openly discuss all your ~*~flirt buddies~*~ with the person you're dating? Certainly some people wouldn't want to know about it — or have it happen at all (Happy Thanksgiving, PURITANS). So how would you broach the topic, if at all? And how do you gently let your victims know that there's a Real Person in your life? The Guy Friends assure you that at least one of these things is easy! And not to toot our own horn... but someone wants to know when it's OK to fart in front of someone, so we talk about that, too. Whitney Houston - it's No Right But It's Ok (GianMarco Nieri 2013 Bootleg Rmx) (GianMarco Nieri) CC BY 3.0

In this episode: It can be difficult breaking up with someone and untangling yourself from a relationship together. But what about untangling your parents? After ending a three-year relationship of heavy interfamily mingling, a friend of the podcast is getting foolishly-optimistic texts from her exes’ Mom pushing a potential relationship Renaissance. As seasoned parent-wranglers, the Guy Friends are full of tips on how to handle parents who just can’t get the message. And a listener wonders: why did her friend’s ex bounce back from their relationship like an international playboy, only to come crawling back as an unintentional killjoy? Is there a distinct difference between men and women when it comes to coping with breakups? Or does an easier transition lie with whoever breaks the bad news? Fantasy (Jason Derulo x Bruno Mars) (DJ Topsider) CC BY 3.0

In this episode: Kickball league flirtations smoldered through the season, the playoffs, the pub, and on to… nothing. Now that the leaves are falling and the balls are all bundled up, is it too late to call this guy out of the dugout? The Guy Friends do what they can to help this listener kick it out of the park… And a listener is concerned that she’s too chatty when she’s in bed with her Friend With Benefits. Is it bad that internal monologues (and fluids) are making their way out of the body unchecked? Or should our listener ease up on herself and open the verbal floodgates? The Guy Friends insist that, much like publicity, there’s no such thing as bad communication! Body Party (Kiff Remix) (KiFF ) CC BY 3.0