Locker Room

Nearly 2000 men came together on August 28, to be built up and prepared to step into where God is calling us. Tune in with Scott Nickell & Hatfield for an extended breakdown of topics discussed and ways to move forward.

On this special bonus episode of Locker Room podcast Scott sits down with three former players from the University of Kentucky Men's Basketball team. Josh Carrier, JP Blevins and Ravi Moss share stories of what it was like on the inside during their time wearing the blue and white, including lessons learned and how to build your life and your identify in Christ and not based on what you do.

As we wrap up this season of listener-submitted questions, Neil Gregory is back on the podcast to discuss one of the biggest questions many Jesus followers ask, "How do you know you're following Christ and His will for your life?" Stay tuned for a bonus episode of Locker Room coming up next week with some special guests...

In this season of Locker Room we're answering your submitted questions. Scott and Jon are back this week to hit this week's question: What are the top three things dads should be doing to help our young ones in their faith journey? Have a good question you want us to answer during this season? Drop your questions at lockerroompodcast.com

In this season of Locker Room we're answering your submitted questions. Jon Weece is back on the podcast to help answer this question: "I would love to hear about the history of the church from its leaders, specifically the origins of Southland and how we got to where we are, but also how that relates to the general history of the early Church in Acts." Have a good question you want us to answer during this season? Drop your questions at lockerroompodcast.com

In this season of Locker Room we're answering your submitted questions. Our question this week: How can I as a young guy mature in my faith? What are some practical ways to practice humility and take a posture of learning, in order to mature in Christ? Scott is joined by Connor Hall this week to discuss  this question from the perspectives of two guys in different stages of life. Have a good question you want us to answer during this season? Drop your questions at lockerroompodcast.com

In this season of Locker Room we're answering your submitted questions. Scott welcomes Neil Gregory to the podcast to discuss this question: How do we tune out the distractions of modern society--social media, video games, smart phones and the 24-hour news cycle--and where do we draw the line between removing ourselves and our families from these activities, versus choosing to take part in them to engage with others in a positve and meaningful way? Have a good question you want us to answer during this season? Drop your questions at lockerroompodcast.com

In this season of Locker Room we're answering your submitted questions. Jon Weece joins Scott this week to hit this question: How do you balance a healthy sex relationship in a Christian marriage when each person has different levels of desire and expectations? Have a good question you want us to answer during this season? Drop your questions at lockerroompodcast.com

For this season of Locker Room we're answering your submitted questions. Scott Hatfield is back this week to break down this question: Why does the Church shy away from discussions around sexuality? Have a good question you want us to hit during this season? Drop your questions at lockerroompodcast.com

For this season of Locker Room we're answering your submitted questions. This week Scott kicks off with guest Mike Vandemark to break down this question: Is there a biblical case for adult men to pursue hobbies? With so many God-given responsibilities, how does one justify time spent on self? Have a good question you want us to hit during this season? Drop your questions at lockerroompodcast.com

You've got questions? We've got answers! Be apart of the next season of the Locker Room Podcast by heading to Lockerroompodcast.com and submitting your questions today.

In this episode we take a break from the hot-button topics of this season to enjoy some lighthearted banter and hot takes in the point/counterpoint style with guests Mike Vandemark and Scott Hatfield. Below are all of the questions that Scott asked in the podcast.  Pick 2-3 from each category to discuss with your group. What are the benefits of talking about things like this?  What do we learn about one another?  Is it a waste of time? How often do you get together with friends to just be together and have fun? Could you benefit from doing it more often?  How so? How does all of this play into our life and ministry?  Does any of this have any benefit for ministry or daily living for Christ? Sports: Is golf a sport or a game? Which of the big 3 sports would you prefer to watch live and in person? The college football championship should just be called the SEC championship, true or false? Kobe or Michael Jordan?  MJ or Lebron? 1996 Wildcats vs. 1991 UNLV Runnin' Rebels, who's better? Movies: The Matrix - overrated or underrated? If you had to pick between Steven Segal and Craig T. Nelson to play the lead role in every movie, which one would you pick? Dumb and Dumber or Tommy Boy? Shawshank Redemption or Braveheart? Better actor:  Martin Lawrence or Eddie Murphy? Music: Better Rock Band?  AC/DC or Led Zeppelin? True or False, Rapper's Delight is a terrible rap song? You're on a deserted island and you can listen to only Journey or only Bon Jovi, what do you choose? You are doing Karaoke and you can choose between performing Bohemian Rhapsody or the Humpty Dance? Who wins in a fight, Tony Bennett or Willie Nelson?

One of the challenges for us as men, especially when we assume the role of provider, protector, and any vocational callings, is knowing when it is time to leave one thing and move on to the next thing in our lives. In this episode Scott Hatfield returns to the podcast to reflect on these moments of change and how to discern best what's next. 1. How do you know when it's time to move on? To leave one thing and move to the next thing? How have you filtered those questions at different points in your life? 2. Hatfield found himself in a conversation that turned into an interview. Have you ever been in a situation or conversation that was pivotal in your work and/or calling? 3. We all need mentors; people who are ahead of us on the journey and pour their experience into us. Who is that for you? If you don't have a mentor, who might you ask to be that person for you? 4. Whose work, life, or ministry do you look up to or admire from afar? Pray and ask God for the opportunity to grab some time with that person. Can you reach out to schedule an appointment through their admin, or offer to buy them coffee or a meal? 5. “Quit looking over the fence. There is fruit in longevity.” Evaluate your own life and your current position based on this quote. How's it going? 6. Hatfield recounts seasons of being entrusted with everything and seasons of being entrusted to lead nothing. How have you seen God work in seasons of much and seasons of little? How has it directly impacted decisions about what to do, and where to stay or go? 7. Sometimes simple difficulty is not the best filter for deciding whether it's time to move on. What are some other critical elements that need to be in the decision-making process as well? 8. Have you ever been drawn toward something that seemed like the right idea for you but you learned it wasn't God's idea? Did you realize that before or after a move was made? 9. What do you sense God asking you to do that you need to bring to Him in prayer for further clarity and guidance?

Deconstruction is a word used frequently in regard to people who are 'deconstructing their faith.' Sometimes at the end of this process, people end up denying their faith altogether. Usually the first stop on this journey of deconstruction is 'Progressive Christianity.' In this episode, Scott breaks down some of the main drivers of the progressive Christian movement, and talks about how we equip ourselves to call others home by being immersed in scripture while simultaneously understanding our culture. The four books referenced at the end of this episode: Another Gospel? by Alisa Childers The Gathering Storm by Albert Muller That Hideous Strength: How the West Was Lost by Melvin Tinker A Grand Illusion by David Young 1. Have you experienced the idea of “Deconstruction” in the way society views it today? Is there a sense of tension when you hear the ideas of Deconstruction and Progress in the same ideology 2. When you think of Progressive Christianity, do you feel uncertain what the Progression is actually moving towards? If not, reflect on what aspects of Christianity deserve or require a modern advancement. Is there anything? 3. Scott talks about two drivers behind the Progressive Christian movement: Having a seat at the cool kids table and the opportunity to have sex with someone who you're not married to. How do those ideas strike you? Agree or disagree—and why? 4. Scott throws out that he doesn't agree with the label of Progressive Christianity because it isn't Christianity. Instead he calls it Progressive Spirituality. What are the pitfalls that Progressivity has opened to the Christian faith that can result in loss of Christianity and a movement toward general Spirituality? 5. Do you agree that compassion and concern for social justice which removes Jesus from the equation is a reflection of a doubt that Jesus is who He says He is? How do we advocate for these concerns while also reflecting that Jesus is who He says He is? 6. Do you share the idea that the most tolerant in society are typically the most intolerant? 7. Scott references Romans 1… what were your thoughts and how does it apply to the Progressive movement and the general worldview today? 8. Do you sense the issues that Scott references are occurring due to the breakdown of relational norms and standards? If so, how have you seen that in your day-to-day life?

Fear isn't a sin, but our response to it can be. Sometimes we have to march forward even though we are afraid. In this episode, we talk about pursuing a sound and healthy mind by saturating our thoughts in the word of God instead of the headlines. 1. Scott shared his thoughts about all the talk about the virus. Where are you at with the conversation about COVID? Are you tired, afraid, something else 2. As a whole, we seem to have no goals or target or clear objective when it comes to dealing with COVID, and without that limiting principle we're looking at ongoing and changing restrictions. Some people fear the virus, others are more concerned with the government's response. Where do you land on that spectrum and why? 3. Whether it's the current era or earlier in life, in what ways have you seen fear become a controlling force in your experience? 4. After World War II, the new reality of the atomic bomb created a growing fear of the potential for destruction. C.S. Lewis landed with a conclusion that we are live in a world that constantly presents danger, whether we are aware or not. He said we ought to, in response, be found "doing sensible things like praying, working, teaching, reading, playing, or chatting with our friends, not huddled together like frightened sheep..." What might this solution accomplish? How might you implement it in your life, family, relationships? 5. Fear isn't sin, but it's a breeding ground for sin. Our response to fear is of the biggest concern. Take a look at 2 Timothy 1:7. Paul suggested that the pursuit of a sound and healthy mind is the antidote to fear. In what ways do we pursue things that end with fear? How could we align, instead, with this scripture in 2 Timothy? 6. Scott suggested that, whether you are doing it mindlessly or intentionally, stop seeking out news that feeds fear. In what ways have you seen the media create fear? What does the media gain from promoting fear? 7. Scott also nudged us to connect with people who aren't fearful. How can this help us to also leave fear behind? Do you know someone who fits this description? Make a plan to connect with them and talk about this topic.

Why in the last decade, has the diagnosis "gender dysphoria" transformed from a vanishingly rare affliction, applying almost exclusively to boys and men, to an epidemic among teenage girls? We are all disordered in some way because of sin - we all have sins and struggles and thoughts and feelings that don't correspond to truth and reality. Our challenge is not to conform to the patterns of this world but to be transformed by the renewing of our mind (Romans 12:2) In this episode, Scott reads and reflects from Irreversible Damage: the Transgender Craze Seducing Our Daughters, by Abigail Shrier. 1) What did you think about Scott's opening analogy about a girl going to the doctor for anorexia, where the doctor affirmed all of her thinking that she was in fact fat, even though she was severely underweight by medical standards? Do you think this is a good analogy for the issue of gender dysphoria, and what is currently happening in our culture? 2) Scott pointed out that in Abigail Shrier's book “Irreversible Damage: The Transgender Craze Seducing our Daughters”, she says that before 2012, there was no scientific literature on girls (ages 11-21) ever experiencing gender dysphoria. Before that, it affected .01 percent of the entire population, and that number was nearly exclusively boys. Why do you think there is this explosion of talk about this issue and apparently people experiencing it in the last several years? 3) In the book, Shrier offers some thoughts about why this shift in identifying as transgender is happening. She mentioned that it's mostly upper-middle-class white girls and that they may be trying to carve out a niche of rebellion or be able to identify as minorities. What do you think about that? Agree? Disagree? Why? 4) She also said that many of these kids come from progressive families, raised with few walls, so they hunt for barriers to knock down. Have you seen this happening with your own children? Children/teenagers/young adults you know? What do you think they really are looking for? What do they need? 5) She also mentions our modern-day obsession with mental health. Medicating everyone toward the optimal level of happiness. Is this dangerous? Are we shooting ourselves in the foot by not allowing people to just deal with tough emotions? Where does that lead us if we continue that pattern of just looking for a quick fix to treat our “symptoms”? 6) Have you ever thought about how you would handle it if one of your children voiced that they identify as a different gender? It's easy to point fingers and judge from a far-off perspective, but what if it happened to you? What do you do? What truths from scripture would you rely on in helping?  

How does the world around us handle sin, offenses and shortcomings? How should we as Christ-followers handle the presence of sin in our world? Should we join in the stone-throwing? In this episode we'll explore how we must address the sin in our own lives, and then we can help our brother and sister out. 1. Scott starts off our discussion today with an example of the way our cultural model tells us to handle perceived injustices or infractions. Have you seen situations where this model has played out? Were the outcomes positive or negative? 2. The current model of dealing with faults is described as a four step process. Which step do you feel pushes a conversation or interaction towards hopelessness the most? 3. Narratives are mentioned several times in our discussion, what narratives are you struggling to navigate, or which have you encountered recently? How can we redeem these narratives? 4. Christians have started to follow the path of culture in virtue-signalling and cancelling, almost as a knee-jerk reaction or as retribution for what they perceive as cancelling towards Christianity. What aspects of the way culture handles these situations can entrap a Christian? 5. Matthew 7 and John 3:17 illustrate the way God views unchecked judgemental behavior, and 1 Corinthians 13 illustrates His model for love and grace. How can we use these ideas to create a new model for dealing with perceived injustices? 6. Jesus tells us to start with our own hearts, and some have asserted that Christians jump onto the piling-on method in order to avoid facing their own sins. What sins are you downplaying or refusing to address? Do you ever find yourself lashing out at others due to the frustration those sins bring? 7. Scott says God didn't move on after addressing our sin, He moved IN. Reflecting on this, how can we move IN when someone is on the receiving end of society's model for confronting wrongdoings?

In this week's episode we wrap up our discussion on race: responding instead of reacting, and how as Christ-followers, the ball is in our court. 1) What is your understanding of “intersectionality”? How does looking through the lens of intersectionality affect interactions with people? How has it affected conversations in your experience, recently or in the past? 2) Why do you believe so many churches are recently prioritizing diversity as their main mission? What do you think the mission of the church should be? What does the Bible have to say about that mission? 3) Ariea said, “It would do your church no good to be diverse with all different types of ethnicity and no one saved.” Is there anything in your life that you are striving for in place of bringing people to Jesus? 4) Rod stated, “Fear stands for: False Evidence Appearing Real.” What is appearing real to you that is causing you to be afraid? What's true and what's false in the way you're processing this situation/threat in your world? Identify the “false evidence” and take a moment to intentionally choose to reject the lies. Share your commitment with your group or a trusted friend. 5) Is there anyone in your life who has permission to challenge you even if the challenge is offensive? 6) Who can you ask to mentor you? Is there someone you can speak life into?

This week's episode picks up where we left off with Ariea, Rod, and Scott discussing race and how we as Christ followers can approach reconciliation. 1) When you hear “Solution for Racism” what emotions are stirred up? Do you feel like the conversation will be a positive or a negative one? Will the conversation be civil? 2) Scott Ariea and Rod discuss their solution for racism—fathers in the house and strong male leadership. Rod says that you need examples of how to Look, Live and Love like Jesus as a youth growing up. How might a community transform when there are examples of male leadership in households? 3) In the discussion we hear a call back to the thought that: “We are most helpful to the world when we look least like the world”. Do you find it hard to avoid looking like the world when discussing issues of large concern like race? Does this difficulty stem from a disconnect between how things are handled for world concerns versus spiritual concerns? If so, how? 4) Rod tells us a story from his past and that he told his football team. “You gotta do your best, regardless of if I do my best.” Do you hear the argument that certain crimes are way more prevalent, like “white on black” or “black on black”? Have you found yourself or people in your life falling into the trap of “if they improve I will improve,” or, “if they'd improve the other side of the situation would improve”? 5) You have to understand the necessity of the cross before you can understand or get involved in reconciliation. Review Ephesians 2:11-22. Through a lens of trying to mend racism, what new takeaways did you find in this passage? 6) Scott, Ariea, and Rod agree: Critical Race Theory is a worldview focusing on the oppressed becoming the oppressor. Critical Race Theory is also described as an attempt to fix a sin problem with a sin problem. Do you agree that the endgame for CRT sees the oppressed becoming the oppressor? Can a solution borne out of a sinful world mend a heart-problem like racism? 7) The guys say that changing the law, changing context, and pushing theories does not change a racist heart; only Jesus changes a racist heart. How can we take this to task in our own lives and ask Jesus to start changing the prejudiced hearts around us?

In this episode Scott sits down with friends Ariea King and Rod Butler to discuss the subject of race: how it has shaped our lives and how we as Christ followers can move forward. 1) The guys provided their definitions of racism early in this episode. How would you define racism? 2) What, do you believe, is really the root problem behind racism? What is it that people are scared of, insecure about, or just don't understand that makes them view people of a different race as anything less than themselves? 3) Have you ever experienced racism, or have you ever come to the realization that some of your thoughts and beliefs might be what some would consider racist? This is a question that requires us to be very transparent, self-aware, and to have humility. Who can share? 4) The guys had a conversation about how not all black people have the same experience just based on the color of their skin. How did that conversation strike you? Where do we need to allow for more diversity of thought and experience? Should our race even play into the discussion? 5) Rod talked about how a lot of white people reached out to him in the wake of some of the events and racial tensions over the last year or so. He mentioned that some of that came across as “virtue signaling”. Virtue signaling means it is more about the person asking the question that it is about the person answering the question. How can we be more proactive when it comes to understanding people's differences? 6) As Christians, people should be able to look to us as peace-makers—and as people who are empathetic and compassionate. Often, we don't set the example or set the pace when it comes to leading well through misunderstandings and tensions. What is something you can commit to doing to help you grow as someone who can lead well through things like racial tension? 7) The Bible has some strong words about hate. In your Bible app on your phone, do a search for the word “hate” and read some of the search results together. Do the same with the word “love”, recognizing that there are no conditions to God's love, and that His expectation is for us to love people the way He loves us!

Jon joins Scott to reflect on the topics we've covered this season and lessons learned from his own marriage. 1. Marriage and parenting teach us a ton. But especially help us grow to be selfless in a way nothing else can. Why do you think this is true? How have you experienced this kind of transformation in your life? 2. Marriage is a visible demonstration of the love of God for people. Marriage apart from the picture of Christ and His bride isn’t going to find fulfillment. How can we intentionally pursue this biblical picture of marriage? 3. Which of Jon’s tips for building a strong marriage have been helpful to you? Which do you want or need to pursue? Take your time and learn from older couples. Pray a lot. Serve together. Invest in the church. Be realistic with financial expectations. Work on conflict resolution. Invest in relationships with a few other couples. 4. What is it about sharing a meal together with the people we love that transforms us? How does it build your family’s relationships? What is accomplished by sharing this space? 5. In the Bible, the Book of Psalms is like a medicine cabinet. If you need words to express your emotion or feeling, you can find it there. Share how God’s words have helped you express emotions, whether they’ve been painful or joy-filled. What are you walking through in this season that could use help from the Psalms to express in words? 6. God chose us. Handpicked us. Adopted us into His family. Adoption is a theme in the NT. If God did that for us, He’d want that for all of us. How can churches help even more families adopt? How could you help personally, financially and otherwise? 7. Considering divorce? Apologize. Forgive. Own what you did. Give it time. Build and rebuild trust. You may have biblical grounds for divorce, but you’re not required to take this step. Where can you reach out for help? 8. Remember: Everyone in your family is going to die eventually. Prepare as you’re able but it’s never going to be easy. The marriage vow, “In sickness and in health,” reminds us to enjoy what we have today. How can you actively and verbally express your gratitude for the people in your life today? 9. Resilience is something this world needs; the ability to stand in the face of sickness, difficulty, loss. Two are better than one; two becoming one. There’s a strength and joy infused into your life when two people are faithful to Him and to each other. Take time to craft a clear statement of your intent to be faithful… in your marriage, friendships, parenting, work… everywhere. Share with your group via email this week.

Scott Hatfield returns for this episode of Locker Room to talk about those important words many of us have said in our vows, "...in sickness and in health." Scott and his wife Sarah have walked through many tough seasons over the 27 years of their marriage. 1. Everyone has a unique story about how they met their wife. Share your story or, if not married, where you’re at in the journey toward marriage. 2. Hatfield was led by God to make some decisions relationally that paved the way for his marriage to Sarah. How do prayer, worship, and God’s word feed into your own relational world? 3. As you heard Hatfield share his story, which parts of their “adventures together” resonated most to encourage, challenge, or inspire you? 4. Sarah jokes that she was in great health and perfect condition before she and Scott met. They quickly faced challenges that required faithfulness to their vow: “In sickness and in health.” How has this vow, or another wedding vow, been a challenge and/or an anchor in your life? 5. Both Nickell and Hatfield compiled a list of “learnings” from going through challenges and hard times: We’re more selfish than we know; If we could change it we would; Sometimes it takes counseling; The church is an amazing family; The husband is called to be Jesus to his bride. Which of them are lessons you have learned? Which ones do you want or need to learn? 6. Hatfield shared several great bits of advice for thriving in marriage. Which of these do you sense God wants you to implement in your marriage? Worship together; Leave it all on the field; Do what it takes; Don’t hit the eject button; Lay down your expectations. 7. How do you need to ask God to work in you, your life, your relationships, and/or your marriage this week? Do that now.

Kevin Comp joins Scott on this episode of Locker Room to share his story. Kevin was married and divorced early in life and went on to work through pain, forgiveness and redemption. Kevin serves as the Campus Pastor for Southland's Georgetown location. He has been married to his wife Stacey for 21 years and they have 3 children. 1. Kevin mentioned that Middle School age is a very formative time. What were the positive and negative influences on your life in Middle School that had long-lasting effects? 2. Kevin mentioned that being a “workaholic” was really an excuse to hide from his leadership role at home. How does that quote resonate with you? What other leadership roles might we tend to hide from? 3. Bob Cherry took Kevin out to lunch after his divorce and showed him grace. Who has shown you grace in some of your lowest moments? 4. Have you ever wrestled with the tension of knowing God’s grace covers others but having trouble believing it to be true about yourself? 5. Have you ever felt like God was “done with you”? How can we go deeper with our understanding of God’s grace and unlimited power over our past and for our future? 6. What is an area of your life or a relationship you have that needs restoration? 7. How has God grown and matured your faith in Him over the years? What were the ups and downs of that journey? 8. How can the group be praying for you this week?

In this episode, Scott sits down with Nathan Head and Jason Eaton to discuss how their marriages and families have grown through choosing to adopt. 1. How did you and your spouse meet? How long have you been married? Do you have kids? If so how many? 2. For those with kids: Did you always want kids? For those without kids: How many kids do you want? What are your thoughts, fears, excitements about having kids? 3. How does hearing Nate and Jason talk about their adoption processes shed light on the power of what the Bible says about God adopting us into His family? 4. Scott mentioned the C.S. Lewis quote, “All love involves risk.” How has this been true in your marriage? In your parenting? 5. Going through the adoption process requires radical dependence upon God for everything. What are you currently needing to radically depend on God for? 6. Nate mentioned “the adversity you face will make you stronger because it becomes a bond of intimacy that otherwise would not be created.” How has this been true for you in regards to marriage and parenting?  

On this episode Austin Ketron joins Scott to talk about what it looks like to build a marriage out of the rubble of addiction and recovery. Austin and Monique have been married for 8 years and have four children, and now focus on building into their family and helping others. 1. Austin was very transparent and vulnerable about his past and struggles. Do you feel like you have a safe place to be known? Or do you feel like you have to pretend and manage your image? Have you ever worried about being found out as a fraud? 2. How have you struggled with addiction? Whether it be alcohol, substance, sex, pornography, greed, etc. Where do you stand in recovery? And what did that process look like? 3. God often works in ways we never imagined. Share some of those with the group. 4. At some moments, it can be hard to see God’s hand and provision. But years later it can be very obvious. Where have you seen God’s faithfulness in your past to bring about healing and wholeness? 5. How do you wrestle with the tension of being at a weak moment, while still performing and executing daily responsibilities? 6. What does your daily prayer and time in the Bible look like? 7. How can this group help you the most with keeping you accountable while encouraging you to pursue Jesus in all things?

James joins Scott for this episode to share his story. James and his wife Lauren had just married, returned from a honeymoon and were settling into life together when everything changed in the blink of an eye.   1. Where was your first date and how did it go? How long was it before you knew you were going to marry your spouse? 2. Did you ask your father-in-law for permission to marry his daughter? If so, how did that conversation go? 3. What is the scariest moment you have ever had with your spouse? Have you ever been in a situation where you thought either of your lives were in danger? 4. James mentioned the power of Jeff’s presence when he stayed overnight with him after Lauren passed away. Share a time you were blessed by a friend in a tough season. 5. Were you the kid in the family who resonated with the “prodigal son” or were you the older brother? 6. James mentioned how grief is like waves on the ocean: the ups and the downs, but that, over time, you remember less of the bad and more of the good. What has been your journey with grief? How has God's presence and power helped you heal? 7. James talked about how he partnered with God in Lauren’s restoration process. How has your spouse helped you in your restoration process? How have you helped your spouse in theirs? 8. Who is someone you know that’s going through a hard time? How might you reach out to to be a lifeline for them?

Gary and his wife Linda have been married for 47 years. On this episode, Gary shares memorable moments and wisdom he has learned over many years from both his own marriage and counseling married couples. 1. Tell your group the story of your first date. 2. Marriage is a journey not a destination. Share some of your journey—the highs and the lows—with everyone. What image would you use to explain where you are at on your journey? 3. How do you resonate with the thought of marriage being a “box” to check off? 4. “If you don't like what your wife is, consider what you have done to help her become that?” 5. How do you express to your wife that you cherish and value her? What is your favorite thing about your spouse? 6. On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate your understanding of your spouse? How well do you think they would say they understand you? 7. Who, if anyone, ever shared biblical wisdom about what it means to be a godly husband with you? 8. “Listens a lot, corrects little, cares deeply.” Would your spouse say these of you? What prevents you from embodying these for your wife? 9. “Don't change partners, change yourself.” If you don't understand what that looks like, how can we help you figure that out?

In this episode, Scott sits down with Chapman Bean to talk about life in a new marriage. 1. Why is non-sexual intimacy something many men are not good at in marriage? How do you struggle with intimacy and vulnerability in your marriage (and other relationships)? 2. Sex is one of the most complicated aspects of marriage, and it oftens goes unaddressed, with no time, thought, or conversation given to it. Why is it embarrassing for men to be honest about their sex lives? 3. What is the personality-makeup of your marriage in terms of extroversion and introversion? How has Jesus redeemed the pros and cons of these in your relationship? 4. How has Jesus sustained your love and commitment for your spouse? 5. How do you and your spouse navigate what and who is a priority in your lives? 6. What are unhealthy characteristics you see in some marriages? What about healthy characteristics? How do you see yourself growing in the healthy areas? 7. What is the most obvious way Jesus is growing you as a husband in this season?

There's a path God provides for men to take on responsibility and humbly steward it; a path that has a home - a place where you belong, and people you belong with. And it is good.

The family, the church, and government--three institutions of authority living in tension with one another. In this episode Scott explores the context of Romans 13 and how we can remain faithful to Jesus with a clear biblical worldview on authority. 1) Would people label you as too political or not political enough? Why would they think that? 2) Who do you receive more attacks from: The "left" or the "right"? How come? 3) Read Romans 13:1-7. Check out multiple versions if possible. What observations stick out? 4) How have you wrestled in the past with the tension between government and God? What are some decisions you have had to make where you were obedient to God when the government overstepped? 5) What does the phrase “Jesus is King,” mean to you in this season? How has this affected the decisions you have been making? 6) What are some ways that you need to grow your Biblical Worldview? What avenues and resources help you the most in growing in your knowledge of Jesus and the Bible?

"...Until we see ourselves and each other as God sees us, and respond with an intentional embrace of his oneness, we will forever ring flat in a world that longs to hear the liberating cadence of truth." In today's episode Scott reads from and reflects ond Oneness Embraced by Tony Evans. Tony is the senior pastor of Oak Cliff Bible Fellowship in Dallas, TX. 1. What comes to mind when you hear the word “Oneness?” What do you envision when you think about racial oneness? How have you seen the discussion and the reality of racial oneness embraced in your local community change over time? 2. Tony Evans says racism still exists because the church, which is the most qualified to talk about racial reconciliation, has not addressed its root. How has the root of racism been addressed at churches you’ve been part of throughout your life? 3. “Cognitive Dissonance” is defined as holding contradicting views simultaneously. What contradicting views do you hold or struggle with currently? 4. “Authentic oneness comes from the outgrowth of our shared lives, not simply through a cross-cultural experience here and there.” How are you sharing life experiences with different people? 5. “Oneness is the preeminent vehicle that God displays His power and presence and also His glory.” How are you embodying oneness throughout your week? 6. “People struggle with reconciling spiritual beliefs with social realities.” How has this been true for you this past year? 7. Who are people in your weekly life that are different from you—racially, socially, or economically—that you might take the opportunity to shake their hand and invite them into a dialogue to learn about them and their heritage? 8. How do you contribute to racial division in your church? How do you contribute to racial reconciliation within your church? How about within the specific row in which you sit every week?

"Our greatest challenge as men is to carry our assigned weight. Carrying our weight means doing the things only we can do--the things for which we are responsible..." In this episode Scott reads from The Heroic Path: In Search Of The Masculine Heart by John Sowers. 1. Why do you like or dislike to read? What ways to you prefer to be informed or inspired? What is the best book you’ve ever read? 2. Who played the most significant role in your life, shaping what you believe manhood to be? 3. “Men stand tallest when they stand for others.” Who are you standing for? Who is standing for you? 4. What “weight” are you carrying that is the heaviest in this season? 5. What tempts you most to stall out? 6. What or who encourages you the most? 7. How have you grown the most in your journey into manhood?

We pick up from our last episode, continuing conversation on leading teams with Scott Hatfield and Mike Vandemark. 1. “Calling” isn't power, it is submission. How do you use your calling to elevate others? 2. A lack of trust will crumble any team. How well do you trust others? How well do others trust you? 3. Do you listen to those you lead more than you talk or coach them? 4. The best example of courageous leadership is saying you’re sorry and that you were wrong. How willing are you to apologize? 5. Security as a leader is key in being able to take push-back or critique. Where are you the most secure and insecure as a leader?

In this episode Scott circles up with Mike Vandemark and Scott Hatfield - two Southland staff guys with years of experience leading teams. 1. The guys talked about how they have grown and struggled in the process of becoming better leaders. What areas of leadership have been a struggle for you in the past? How have you grown the most over the past two years? 2. “My way isn't always the best way.” In what areas, topics, or ways do you struggle to admit this? 3. There is a huge difference between having a conversation with someone and telling them all the ways they are wrong and you are right. What strategies do you use to ensure the give and take of mutual conversation? 4. Empathy is key in leadership. How do you fare in empathizing with people who are different from you? 5. Do you always have to win an argument? What hills are you willing to die on?

Scott sits down with former Kentucky basketball player Ravi Moss to talk life, faith journey and memories from his time in UK hoops. 1. What was your favorite UK basketball team of all time? Who is your favorite UK basketball player of all time?  2. Ravi mentioned that ending up at Kentucky was a part of God’s journey for him. What have been some aspects of your path that you can look back on and see God’s hand at work? 3. Scott and Ravi sat down and had a heart-to-heart talk. Who do you need to sit down and have a conversation with? What do you need to talk about?  4. Ravi mentioned “getting it right” is what is important, not to “be right”. How do you struggle with this in life, work, marriage, friendships, parenting? 5. “Attitude reflects leadership.” How does your attitude reflect the leadership above you? How does your family's attitude reflect your leadership?   6. Where are you at right now with your faith journey?  7. How is Jesus using you to bring about reconciliation in race relations in this season?

How to be a reasonable man living in unreasonable times. 1. Scott said, hands down, the best movie of all time is “The Godfather”. What is your favorite movie of all time and why? 2. How are you bothered, if at all, by those who think and speak things that you perceive as unreasonable? 3. What are some popular beliefs held by many today that fall in the “unreasonable” category? 4. Read Philippians 4:5. Depending on the translation you’re reading, Paul says to be reasonable, gentle, or considerate to everyone. Who are the people or groups of people that you struggle to respond to in this way? 5. You cannot make people be reasonable, but you can be reasonable. How does this play out in a practical way? 6. What challenges you or can be a stumbling block in the way of being reasonable? What aids you in being characterized as reasonable? 7. Are you known as a reasonable man in these “unreasonable” times?

Courtney Love sits down with Scott for this episode of the podcast. Courtney serves as Director of Player Development for University of Kentucky Football and played 2 seasons with the Wildcats (2016-2017) after transferring from Nebraska. Discussion Questions: 1) Courtney is the Director of Player Development for UK Football. He was a 2yr starter and team captain, won the award for college football's top community servant, and helped set the tone and culture for UK's football program's success. He's no stranger to the locker room! What do you remember most about his playing career?   2) When sharing his favorite football memory he didn't talk about the fumble recovery on Lamar Jackson or victory over Louisville, instead, he talked about the practice the week before. Why did he pick that? What does that say about his character?   3) Though he was very successful athletically, Courtney always knew that his identity was not in sports. What did he share about his childhood that helped him know that? How did his college roommates help hold him accountable to that?   4) His father was huge on character, core values, and discipline. He once told Courtney', "If you have a party that's only for the "popular kids" I'm going to shut it down" because he wanted him to always think about how he could help others. Read Luke 14:15-24, what kind of people were at the party described there?   5) When Courtney interacts with people he is thinking: How can I serve you? How can I add value to you? Sounds a lot like Jesus' words in Matthew 20:28. Is that true for you, is that your default?   6) Working with UK players now his goal is to build men of character, competence, and consequence. On the field, in the classroom, and in the community helping them excel in all aspects of life. What did he say being a "man of consequence" means? Are there men in your life who you are helping to build up similarly?   7) Does your life exude calm confidence? Are you confident in who you are and what your purpose is? If not, how can you cultivate that?

How do we define a real man? In this episode we discuss God's definition of manhood in an age of fatherlessness. Scott reads and shares thoughts from Father Fiction by Donald Miller.   1) Donald Miller's book "Father Fiction" talks about the impact growing up fatherless had on him. What was your relationship with your father like? 2) Where do our struggles as a son or as a father come from? Where is this tension around manhood rooted? 3) How would our culture finish this sentence: "You are not a man unless _____"? 4) How would you define a real man? 5) Read Matthew 7:9–11 and 1 John 3:1. Learning how to navigate the journey of manhood is challenging. Some say it is passed down from one father to the next, but what does it mean that our identity comes from our Heavenly Father first and foremost? 6) God has spoken, so I have what it takes to become a good man; It doesn't depend on whether I had a good dad or a bad dad—or no dad at all. How does that thinking free you up? How does it motivate you? 7) Jesus is the essence of what real manhood looks like. What "manly" qualities do you see in His life?

If we believe Jesus really is king of everything, that means ALL THINGS. In this episode Scott shares thoughts on how we can keep Christ over all things in our lives. Discussion Questions: 1. Read Colossians 1:15-20. Jesus is king of everything: All things, visible and invisible, on Earth and in Heaven, everything. Do you believe that? And more importantly, how are you demonstrating it with your life? 2. Is the preeminent story of my life Jesus' preeminence? 3. Read 2 Timothy 3:14-17. The Bible is sufficient for all things. Do you believe that and more importantly, how are you demonstrating it with your life? 4. What does it mean that the Bible is... Profitable? Useful for correcting? For training in righteousness? 5. Are you prone to look to other resources before—or more often than—the Bible? What are some examples of other resources we are tempted to look toward? 6) Read 1 Timothy 4:16. This begins with me. The person we need to think about first is ourself. How are you doing with syncing up your life and your doctrine; what you believe and what you do? 7. Pray that the guys in your group would be men who believe and demonstrate with their whole lives that Jesus is king of everything, that the Bible is sufficient for all things, and that it starts with me.

In this episode Scott unpacks what the book of Proverbs has to say about the value of discipline in our lives, and we talk about practical steps we can take to move forward. Discussion Questions: Laziness plagues a lot of men, and when they become lazy or bored women and children often take the brunt of it. What areas of laziness do you struggle with? When are you most susceptible to check out and become lazy?  How do you ask your spouse, children, or loved ones to speak truth to and point out blind spots in your life? Do you welcome or push away accountability?  Work is a Godly thing. How has your work life or perspective changed during the COVID-19 pandemic? Laziness in one area of your life can easily spread into other areas. Ask yourself honestly: Where do you need to step it up and be disciplined? Marriage, fitness, work, family, friends, faith?  Proverbs pushes young men to become and stay self-governing––to not be reliant on the government, bosses, or others to motivate them and to spur them into action. How does this resonate and challenge you? Who have you become reliant upon for motivation and governing at times? Small things can have massive impacts in our lives. From making our bed to cleaning our room, self-discipline starts small and paves the way for fruitfulness. What is one small task you can begin to make a daily discipline?  Disorder brings chaos and worry.  How has this plagued your past? How can your future change this narrative?  Read Proverbs 6:9-11, which teaches that laziness leads to disaster. How can you take a step away from that today?

Scott Hatfield is back on the podcast as we discuss how we as men can rise up to the responsibilities of spiritual leadership in our homes. Discussion Questions: What is the first thing that comes to your mind when you hear the term “spiritual leader?” Who was the spiritual leader of your home growing up? What did you see exhibited well? What did you see done poorly?  How do you feel pressure to lead your family well spiritually? What areas do you struggle with? What areas has your spouse or friends pointed out as blind sides in your life?  Hatfield pointed out well that women were created from the side of man, not under or over him. Lived out well, men and women are different but equal. Where do you and your spouse work well together? What is an area of tension because of difference? How does the Spirit work through you to bring about unity in your marriage?  Have you ever had a thought where you will “suck it up,” for your family and their well being?  How do you serve your wife? What does she need most from you? How do you serve your kids?  How would your spouse answer these questions: What do you need more of from me? What do you need less of from me? What would be most helpful from me?  Knowing each other's capacity is essential. When do you tend to get overwhelmed? When does your spouse tend to reach their limit? How does your spouse lighten your responsibilities best?  How well do you and your spouse date? What is your favorite thing to do together?  What do your kids enjoy doing the most with you? How do you prioritize and schedule that? 

Derwin Gray joins us to talk about his book The Good Life and share a few NFL stories! 1. Derwin was born to parents 17 and 19 years young. Each had their own issues and, because of that, he was raised by his grandparents. What was your family dynamic growing up? Who raised you? How did that play into the man you are today? 2. Several years into the NFL Derwin realized, “You've accomplished all your dreams but yet you are not happy.” How does this thought and quote resonate with you? How have you ever found yourself thinking the same thing? 3. Like many of us, Derwin lived with incredible fear of losing his job, purpose, and identity. He thought, “Who would I be once they told me I couldn’t play anymore?” What are you fearful of losing? What do you find security in other than Jesus’ provision? 4. Derwin grew up a compulsive stutterer. What are some things you believe to be true about yourself that will keep you from telling people about Jesus and following His call in your life? 5. Derwin's wife came to faith before him and prayed for Derwin to know Jesus months before he did. Are you and your spouse on the same page in your faith? What ebbs and flows do you find in your marriage? 6. Mourning is something Christians often disregard. This is a very hard and trying time for all of us. What areas of your life are you mourning or grieving in this season? What is Jesus speaking to you in this season?

Scott is joined by Eric Schneider on the podcast to discuss Derwin Gray's 'Guard Your Heart' session from our Men's Conference. To watch videos of the sessions, go to http://southland.church/guarded 1. Eric mentioned that we as the church need to be the church that God is calling us to be. What kind of church do you feel God calling us to be? What role do you play in that? 2. Read Proverbs 4:23. What sticks out to you? What is the wellspring of life? What is the relationship between our heart and the wellspring? 3. “You will not experience healing until you come out of hiding.” Does this trouble you or give you peace? What areas of your life do you need to expose? 4. Eric asked a great question, “Who do we have that we can be recklessly honest with?” Answer this question for yourself. 5. “Isolation plus boredom always leads to destruction.” How has this tendency plagued your life? 6. No one has talked worse to you than you. What are the common comments you tell yourself? What lies about yourself have you always believed? What does God’s grace say in opposition of that? 7. Read Ephesians 2:8-9. When we understand that it is by grace we are saved, not our own abilities, then we can silence our inner critic. How do you wrestle with the tension of your inner critic? 8. If we are not finding joy in other people finding comfort in the embrace of our Heavenly Father, we are often being the other Brother in the story of the Prodigal Son. Do you find yourself running toward the rebels of our community or running away from them? 9. Most people’s autobiographies lead with their greatest accomplishments. For Derwin, he never mentioned in his bio that he played in the NFL. What are some of your own leading accomplishments you tend to tell people about? Why do you think you want other people to know that about you?

Picking up where we left off last episode discussing Jason & Shelley Martinkus' 'Guard Your Marriage' session from our Men's Conference. We start off discussing the 7 building blocks of a healthy marriage and where we can shore up our relationships. Link to video from the session: Guard Your Marriage, with Jason & Shelley Martinkus 1) Jason mentioned seven building blocks of intimacy for spouses: Recreational (having fun), Proximal (being close), Spiritual (what God is doing), Intellectual (good conversations, dreaming), Emotional (learning to be empathetic), Physical (non-sexual), Sex. How did this shift your paradigm of connecting with your wife? And also being connected with by your wife? 2) Which one of these do you do the best and how? Which one of these is most challenging? 3) Hatfield had a great line, “Your wife is not a body, she is a soul.” How does that confirm or challenge the way you view your wife? 4) Nickell mentioned hopes and dreams versus expectations and demands in our marriages. What are your hopes and dreams for your marriage? What are the expectations and demands of your marriage? 5) Rewiring your brain takes about six weeks. What does your journey in rewiring your brain look like? What tripped you up? What aided you? 6) Sometimes what Jesus calls us to is very difficult and very hard. What is Jesus calling you to right now?

Hatfield & Nickell go in-depth on the 'Guard Your Marriage' session with Jason & Shelley Martinkus from our Guarded Men's Conference. Link to a video from this session: Guard Your Marriage with Jason & Shelley Martinkus 1. When is the last time you had a real, honest talk about sex with another brother in Christ? How did it go? What did you not say that you should have been honest about? 2. Read Proverbs 7. What are some of the words, phrases, or images from this text that stood out to you? What resonated with you? 3. After watching Jason and Shelley Martinkus’ session at Men's Conference, what helped you find clarity on your battle against temptation and for sexual purity? 4. What direction were you given while you were growing up surrounding sexual temptation and how to find freedom over it? What was your first exposure to porn and how old were you? 5. If your wife asked you, “Is there anything I need to know?” would the question haunt you or give you hope? Why? What would you want to tell her in a moment of transparency? 6. Jason admitted that he allowed fear to bully him and keep him from being honest. How has fear bullied you in the past? How does it sometimes hold you captive now? 7. Having regular questions asked of you regarding the purity of your eyes, mind, and heart is essential. What sort of plan do you have in place now? If you don't have one, who is someone you can trust to ask you those hard questions?

Scott Hatfield is back on the podcast to unpack 'father wounds' -- the pain and trauma from our past. We talk about the impact it still has in our lives and how with God's help we can own our wounds, find freedom and settle the past. 1. How do you react when you hear the term “father wounds?” 2. As a boy, how did you figure out how to be a man? 3. Some causes of father wounds are neglect, absence, and abuse. How have any of those reasons given you wounds? 4. Who filled the father role in your life? In what ways did they fill that role well? How did they struggle in that role? 5. What are some destructive patterns you have in your life that are a result of unhealed wounds? (Extreme bitterness, great rage, unworthy, incompetent, unloveable?) 6. Do you passively or aggressively respond to your wounds? How does that play out? 7. Is your version of God representative of the picture of your father? Was he a demanding rule follower? Passive aggressive? 8. How are the wounds you have received going to change the way you parent or are going to parent? 9. What part of your identity do you need to understand in light of how much God loves you so that you can live in freedom from others' view of you? 10. If you could tell your dad one thing in a moment of transparency and vulnerability, what would it be? What is the one thing you would want to hear your dad say about you? 11. Pray for the wounds in your Group that were voiced in this discussion.

In this episode Scott sits down with Josh Garrett and Qaaim Stainback to discuss the 'Guard Your Gospel' session with Lecrae from our Guarded Men's Conference. Link to a video from this session: Guard Your Gospel, with Lecrae 1) On this episode, race and racism was at the forefront of discussion. What has been your experience with the discussion surrounding race? 2) Josh mentioned that Lecrae asked, “Who am I to withhold forgiveness?” Forgiving others is one of the hardest aspects of following Jesus. How have you been hurt and what did your healing process look like? 3) Lecrae mentioned that kids only get one dad and that his ultimate role in life is as a father. How does that resonate with or challenge you? How do you struggle with the tension of getting distracted from what is most important? 4) Lecrae exhibited great humility in not naming the influential Christian Leaders who had hurt him. What has been your experience with being hurt by the church or it’s leaders? What is your response in times of betrayal? 5) One of the most intriguing aspects of Lecrae’s interview were the complexities he brought up. We live in an absolute/extreme culture (e.g.—You have to be Republican vs. Democrat, Liberal vs. Conservative.) How have you fallen victim to this tendency? How do you rest in complexities? 6) When you see other people’s scars, you’re reminded that you can heal. What are wounds you’re still healing from? How can we pray for that? 7) We don’t know what’s going to happen when we tell the truth. Are others going to think I am weak or that I wasn't strong enough? What were some situations or struggles you were worried might cause people to see you as weak? 8) In order to protect ourselves, we will weld on certain forms of masculinity to survive. Whether it is pretending everything is okay, acting differently than we feel, etc. What are ways you have welded on armor to protect yourself. (Read Ephesians 6:10-20) 9) “God is a relational God, not a transactional God.” How does that statement resonate and challenge your view of God? Pray Ephesians 1:15-23 over your Group.

In this episode Scott sits down with Spencer Hahn and Evan Wehrle to discuss the 'Guard Your Family' sessions from our Guarded Men's Conference. Links to videos from the sessions: Guarded Men's Conference Session 3 - Matthew Bradford Guarded Session 4 - Scott Nickell 1) What comes to mind when you think about guarding your family? What are areas of strengths for you? What are areas of weakness? 2) Israel’s problem as well as Sampson’s was that they “did what was right in their own eyes.” What are areas of your life you often try to justify as right so you can do them? 3) Sampson lived one of the most unguarded lives we see in the Bible. As men, intentionality is crucial for us to protect our loved ones. What are some areas, if you are honest, that have slid off your priority list? What are some simple steps you can take to start loving your family well this week? 4) Fundamentals are essential, both in sports and in protecting and providing for our families. How do you incorporate prayer and time in the Word into your everyday life? 5) What are you guarding your family from? Are there any vain pursuits you chase that you need to guard your family from? 6) We are a story-driven culture. What stories do you need to guard your younger loved ones from? 7) Whether it is hunting, fishing, drinking, over-exercising, over-eating, laziness, etc... What is it you use as a crutch to fill you up? 8) Do you resonate with feeling bored and frustrated? In what situations and circumstances do you feel those the easiest? 9) At this present moment, do you feel more “isolated” (cut off from other Christian men) or “Insulated” (cut off from the Spirit of Christ)?