Coffee and Deathsticks

This title may look like a typo, but those of you who follow Michael Caine on Twitter X know it's quite deliberate. Danny and Kevin celebrate 20 years (to the day) of Batman Begins by providing a commentary track for this beloved Christopher Nolan film. The duo discuss the impact of this picture and The Dark Knight trilogy on both the superhero genre as well as general blockbuster popcorn films while occasionally referencing how awesome the scene playing at the time of their rambling is. They also ask important questions, like is Katie Holmes really that bad of an actor? Or, what's so special about condensed milk? If you are watching the movie while listening, hit play on the movie at the 1 minute 50 second mark of the podcast. Follow us on Instagram and email us at coffeeanddeathsticks@gmail.com

Danny and Kevin accept the final (?) mission and discuss the epic (?) finale to the saga (?) of beloved character (?) Ethan Hunt and his team of devoted friends and OTs in their battle against SPs and Xenu. It's been eight films and thirty years but it has never, ever been boring or even predictable. Listen as the fellas discuss this and much else, including the possibility that Jeremy Renner is stupid and annoying #jeremyrennerofficialappFollow us on Instagram and email us at coffeeanddeathsticks@gmail.com

Revenge of the Sith turns 20, forcing Danny and Kevin to conclude their out of sequence prequel trilogy recaps. This is the beloved entry in the ever polarizing prequel trilogy, but do Danny and Kevin feel the same way? Listen to your favorite podcasters as they draw lines in the sand, admit to guilty pleasures, and wax poetic yet again about John Williams. Follow us on Instagram and email us at coffeeanddeathsticks@gmail.com

That's right, out of respect to Tony Gilroy and Co. for sticking the landing, the subtitle of this episode discussing the finale of Andor is the main character's actual name. Was Cassian ever the most compelling character on his own show? No, not even once. But he proved a perfect AXIS around which this tale of revolution could revolve. Danny and Kevin discuss the final arc of Andor and how it adds nothing but flavor and taste to the gigantic pot of stew that is Star Wars. It is, in fact, more fun to talk about movies and shows that one enjoys and finds entertaining and engrossing. May the Force be with us until the next streaming hustle comes along to remind us to grow up. Follow us on Instagram and email us at coffeeanddeathsticks@gmail.com

"Look how they massacred my boy" but in a good way. Danny and Kevin discuss the latest (and greatest?) arc of the Andor show. What does fate have in store for Space Javert, Calrissian Andorian, Fascist Girlboss, Mon Mothma's Back!, Basil Oregano: Princess Leia's Non-Biological Father, and Stellan Skarsgård? Turns out that it's another round of some incredibly sturdy and entertaining storytelling from a man who has both never seen most of Star Wars and yet understands it better than most. Vive Ghorman and down with the Empire folks. Follow us on Instagram and email us at coffeeanddeathsticks@gmail.com

Danny and Kevin recap the next arc of Andor Season 2. They discuss the good (Varian Skye!), the bad (recasting Basil Oregano!), and the ugly (Forest Whitaker talking!) of these middle episodes while speculating what may come next. Will General Madine make his Disney+ debut? Stay tuned!Follow us on Instagram and email us at coffeeanddeathsticks@gmail.com

Danny and Kevin return to a galaxy far, far away to discuss the first three episodes of Andor Season 2. All our favorites are back: Cassian, Bix, Brasso, Goober, Skulltutis, Therngo, Mon Mothma, Zorpaz, Dedra, Qyburn, Luthen, Copbot, Forest Whitaker, and of course, Syril Karn. Can a Star War ever truly be for grown-ups? Who knows and, if it's entertaining, who cares? May the 4th be with you. Follow us on Instagram and email us at coffeeanddeathsticks@gmail.com

Danny and Kevin return to the realm of Earth's most profitable heroes for a discussion of shows that came out like five years ago. Up first is an analysis of Loki: Season 2 and its place in the larger, increasingly pointless, cinematic universe it broke away from. And then it's a review of X-Men '97, the long-delayed sixth season to every millennial's second-favorite cartoon about superheroes. In between, Danny's son tells Kevin what Pixar movie he's been watching. Send us an email at coffeeanddeathsticks@gmail.com

Danny and Kevin are catching up on the recent Best Picture nominations at the Academy Awards and wanted to talk about two standouts: Conclave and Anora. The Pope almost died leading up to Hollywood's Biggest Night and would've given the people something to root for in the evening's most coveted prize. Alas, Frank is still with us, but the movie about a fictional conclave was more entertaining than what we would've had anyway. The winning picture, Anora, made filmmaker Sean Baker a household name, which he already was to Danny and Kevin. The duo talk this movie and his entire excellent filmography. Follow us on Instagram or email us at coffeeanddeathsticks@gmail.com

Danny and Kevin embark on a long-expected discussion: What's the deal with The Hobbit Trilogy? Nestled among the dark knights and avengers of the 2010s, Peter Jackson's follow-up to The Lord of the Rings is a misfire. A dud. A missed opportunity..A delightful children's tale awkwardly translated into an unwieldy trilogy. Where and why does it fail? Where, if anywhere, does it succeed? And who do we have to banish into the void to never have to see those freakin' eagles again?Follow us on Instagram or email us at coffeeanddeathsticks@gmail.com

Danny and Kevin watched the latest Star War and found it entertaining and enjoyable. That's it. No "but" or smart-aleck, back-handed compliment. The new Disney+ program Skeleton Crew is a fun addition to the vast Star Wars universe and kids of all ages will have a good time watching it. Unless you don't like Star Wars, in which case, you know, stop watching Star Wars. Follow us on Instagram or email us at coffeeanddeathsticks@gmail.com

Coffee and Deathsticks returns from a brief holiday hiatus to the nightmare that is Nosferatu, the latest picture from gothic horror master Robert Eggers. Now that they have cleaned all the poop from their pants, Danny and Kevin finally aren't afraid anymore and can break down the latest piece of Dracula IP while talking about the Francis Ford Coppola one a lot. Follow us on Instagram and email as at coffeeanddeathsticks@gmail.com

Folks. It's Morbin' Time. Follow us on Instagram and email us at coffeeanddeathsticks@gmail.com

Danny and Kevin do! They also remember Edoras, and the Watcher in the Water, and oliphaunts, and eagles, and Saruman, and Isengard, and the song Eowyn sings in the expanded edition of The Two Towers when Theodred is buried. They remember all of these things from much better movies than the newest entry in the Lord of the Rings cinematic universe: The War of the Rohirrim. New Line Cinema and Warner Brothers hoped other LOTR fans also remembered these things and wanted to see a two hour and fifteen minute long movie to learn how Helm's Deep received its moniker. They were shockingly mistaken as no one is going to theaters to see this animated picture. Don't fret if you miss this at your local cinema, as this flick will soon be where it was meant to be: streaming on Max! Follow us on Instagram and email us at coffeeanddeathsticks@gmail.com

We came, we saw, we enjoyed? The latest installment in the Ridley Scott Fucks Around with a Camera in His Retirement Home cinematic universe, Gladiator II, continues the story of Gladiator. All your favorite guys are back except the main favorite guy who is, of course, dead and starring in Kraven the Hunter. Danny and Kevin discuss the big, empty meat-sack at the center of the movie and consider the wisdom of pitting such a sack against the likes of Denzel. Follow us on Instagram and email us at coffeeanddeathsticks@gmail.com

As Glicked and Moana 2 dominate cineplexes, Danny and Kevin check in on earlier fall releases - Beetlejuice Beetlejuice and Venom: The Last Dance. The boys discuss their love for Time Burton, his legacy, and the refreshingly old fashioned sequel before dovetailing into a recap of the Venom trilogy and questioning what the point was of that series anyway? Follow us on Instagram and email us at coffeeanddeathsticks@gmail.com

Danny and Kevin complete their journey down the TV slop stream with the excellent second half of The Penguin. How did the showrunners stick the landing? Are things really so dire that such a solid, unpretentious show can receive such rapturous accolades? What movie did the Waynes see before they died and why was it probably Shrek 2? All these questions and more are answered in the latest thrilling episode of your favorite podcast.  Follow us on Instagram and email us at coffeeanddeathsticks@gmail.com

Danny and Kevin discuss the first four episodes of The Penguin, a refreshingly solid program that don't reinvent the wheel or nothin' but it sure does drive smooth, know what I mean kid? Fun performances, move-it-along plotting, and classy connections to the wider Batman universe make for a pleasant addition to the streaming landscape. Follow us on Instagram and email us at coffeeanddeathsticks@gmail.com

The Battle of Eregion is over; the battle for streaming algorithms is about to begin. Season 2 of The Rings of Power has ended, and the fanbase is torn. Half seem overjoyed at the depiction of the tragedy of Celebrimbore and continue to ship "Haladriel." The other half are mad that orcs have families and that there is one black elf. Danny and Kevin are here to offer checks and balances. Mellons, can't we all just get along and admit the show is...okay? Follow us on Instagram and email us at coffeeanddeathsticks@gmail.com

Danny and Kevin return to the forge to discuss the first four episodes of the second season of The Rings of Power. Expectations were low and they were met in that this show is still not good. The fellas discuss its strengths (music, Harfoots, wizards, Tom Bombadil, the Dwarves) and its weaknesses (everything else). Listen to hear all the latest from the exciting world of corporations mining IP like mithril.  Follow us on Instagram and email us at coffeeanddeathsticks@gmail.com

Danny and Kevin return to their favorite* franchise: Alien. Or is it officially called the Aliens Franchise? More like the Alien$ franchise, am I right folks? In the latest installment, our intrepid heroes journey through a massive wreck to see if there is anything of value that can get them to paradise. Is that a summary of Alien: Romulus or a summary about this podcast? There's only one way to find out. Follow us on Instagram, email us at coffeeanddeathsticks@gmail.com

Danny and Kevin continue their summer of watching boring TV with a discussion of Season 2 of House of the Dragon. It's just not doing it for them, folks. Something is missing and the fellas aren't exactly sure what it is but maybe they'll figure it out in two years when they tune in for Season 3 of this show that they don't really like. In the meantime, email the pod at coffeeanddeathsticks@gmail.com or follow it on Instagram.

Election season is in the air, and contentious feelings have even seeped their way into Coffee and Deathsticks. For what feels like the first time in show history, Danny and Kevin could not disagree more on a movie more than they do with Deadpool and Wolverine. Listen to the love and hate expressed about the flick and decide for yourself which side you are on. Or don't, it's just a movie. Follow us on Instagram and email us at coffeeanddeathsticks@gmail.com

Danny and Kevin close the book on another Star War. Why do they subject themselves to storytelling that is clearly not meant for them? Why does anyone? Why can't we all just grow up and get along? The fellas discuss The Acolyte in particular and, as per usual, the wider Star Wars universe in general. Incidentally, Jeffrey Epstein didn't kill himself. Follow us on Instagram and email us at coffeeanddeathsticks@gmail.com

Danny and Kevin continue their discussion around Season 2 of Hot D. And it is...good, it's good. It's a good program. But, like, guys...Game of Thrones was so great. Even when it was stupid. Hot D is never stupid. At it's worst, it's just kind of dull and over-reliant on shenanigans and happenstance. But the dragons are cool! Sort of. Your hosts are getting old, is what this episode is saying. Or are things getting getting too smooth and safe? Who knows? Danny and Kevin do. Follow us on Instagram and email us at coffeeanddeathsticks@gmail.com

House of the Dragon returns after two years, and Danny and Kevin aren't quite sure what to make of this program. The look, sound, and sense of dread will remind viewers of Game of Thrones, but is this show as good? Danny and Kevin recap the Season 2 premiere, discussing the show's reliance on whacky misunderstandings, foot fetishes, and their love for actors who play young Starks. Follow us on Instagram and email us at coffeeanddeathsticks@gmail.com

Danny and Kevin return to the trough for some more Star Wars slop. This time, it's set 100 years before The Phantom Menace and has already created a number of continuity errors certain to enrage both the Wookieepedia weirdos and Kevin. How does The Acolyte measure up to other Disney+ Star Wars tales? Is the show a Kaufmanesque gag? Why doesn't Harvey Dent recognize The Joker until after he takes his face mask off during the hospital bed scene in The Dark Knight? All these questions and more can be found within.  Follow us on Instagram and email us at coffeeanddeathsticks@gmail.com

Danny and Kevin return to The Wasteland and check-in with Furiosa, the best character from the last Mad Max movie now played by a different person. Is the chess prodigy Anya Taylor-Joy a movie star? Based on the box office performance of Furiosa, America doesn't think so, but America doesn't know what it's missing! Listen to Danny and Kevin breakdown this prequel - should've been a sequel - visual feast from mastermind director Dr. George Miller. Follow us on Instagram and email us at coffeeanddeathsticks@gmail.com

Danny and Kevin can't get enough of these damn, dirty apes. They discuss the latest installment in what may be the greatest film franchise of all time: Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes. Directed by an absolute no-name, the film is a worthy successor to the Andy Serkis-led trilogy from last decade which were themselves worthy successors to the silly/satirical sci-fi adventures from America's most disgusting decade. Listen as the fellas chart a course for future franchise success and Glen Powell's career.  Follow us on Instagram and email us at coffeeanddeathsticks@gmail.com

It's the 40th anniversary of one of our duo's favorite films: Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. 1984 was a banner year for film, particular within nerd culture, and Indy's first sequel (or prequel?) was one of the headliners. Produced in the midst of George Lucas' divorce, Steven Spielberg had to direct the shit out of this movie, resulting in a tonal smorgasbord of juvenile comedy and genuine horror that works fantastically in its favor. Danny and Kevin provide a commentary track as they discuss the making of the film, why it works so well, and the genius of John Williams and Steven Spielberg. If you are watching the movie as you listen, start it at 4 minutes and 22 seconds into the pod. Follow us on Instagram and email us at coffeeanddeathsticks@gmail.com

Danny and Kevin celebrate Star Wars month with the foundational text of being an exhausted (and exhausting) nerd simultaneously disappointed and hopeful about our favorite things: The Phantom Menace. The film is unfiltered George Lucas, straight from the pompadour and inflicted upon a public unwilling or, dare we suggest, unworthy of its earnest weirdness. Folks...it's really not that bad. Follow us on Instagram and email us at coffeeanddeathsticks@gmail.com.

When your movie needs to appeal to weird nerds, who ya gonna call? Bill Murray! He ain't afraid of no paycheck. Yes, the time has come: Danny and Kevin dedicate an entire episode to the goddamn Ghostbusters. Why have two comedy films from the 1980s, one kind of perfect and one perfectly ok, transmogrified into an unwieldy mishmashed rehash of nostalgia and nonsense? Who are these latest Spielbergian legacyquels for? Why can't we let the dead rest? And we're not just talkin' about Harold Ramis, folks! Listen and find out the answer to all this and more.Follow us on Instagram, email us at coffeeanddeathsticks@gmail.com, listen for our murmurings on your PKE meters. 

Last week, Danny and Kevin talked about Dune. This week they talk about Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire. You see kids, a little spice can help you avenge your father's death at the hands of the Imperium but too much spice and you write a movie like Godzilla v Kong: Empire State of Mind. Listen as the fellas discuss the latest, stupidest-est entry in the finest cinematic universe of our time, the Monarch MonsterVerse.Follow us on Instagram or send us an email at coffeeanddeathsticks@gmail.com

Another winter, another brief hiatus for Danny and Kevin, but for a great reason, as Abby and Danny welcomed the birth of Graham "Muad'dib" Marchant, a Child of Dune prophesied to take over hosting duties of Coffee and Deathsticks. The boys are back to discuss the biggest movie of 2024 thus far, Dune: Part Two. It wows and...inspires? Listen to find out if the hype was deserved for this sci-fi sequel. Eat your heart out, Aliens and Empire Strikes Back! Follow us on Instagram at Coffee and Deathsticks and send us an email at coffeeanddeathsticks@gmail.com

Danny and Kevin catch-up on a handful of movies from last year that they saw and wanted to talk about. This first 2023 recap episode focuses on alleged crowd pleasers, such as the highest grossing film from last year: The Caine Mutiny Court-Martial. Time stamps for the reviewed movies are: 1. Cocaine Bear 00:01:28 2. Knock at the Cabin 00:10:12 3. Meg 2: The Trench 00:23:03 4. The Pope's Exorcist 00:26:00 5. Evil Dead Rise 00:32:30 6. Talk to Me 00:40:27 7. Thanksgiving 00:45:43 8. John Wick: Chapter 4 00:56:54 9. Sisu 01:05:00 10. The Caine Mutiny Court-Martial 01:06:22 Follow us on Instagram at Coffee and Deathsticks send us an email at ⁠coffeeanddeathsticks@gmail.com

Danny and Kevin kick off a new season with Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom. The film is both the last entry in the endlessly fascinating DC Extended Universe and a belated sequel to the hit film Aquaman from 2018. The fellas discuss the film's simple, yet effective, pleasures and lament that DC hit its stride in the final years of its existence. We lay the blame squarely at you, Zack Snyder! That's right, Zack Snyder listens to our podcast. Follow us on Instagram at Coffee and Deathsticks send us an email at coffeeanddeathsticks@gmail.com

Danny and Kevin close out the season with a commentary for the Coen Brothers' classic: The Big Lebowski. Set in 1991 and released in 1998, the film is the story of who the hell knows or cares. On paper, it's a film noir where the Bogart character is a buffoon but in practice it's just a bunch of Los Angeles misfits vibing during the Gulf War. It's probably the funniest film ever but certainly the funniest film as far as this pod is concerned. So take her easy and enjoy a New Year's Eve gift from your favorite podcast hosts. Follow us on Instagram or email us at coffeeanddeathsticks@gmail.com

Everything that has a beginning has an end...wait...that's from the wrong trilogy capper from 2003. Here at last, on the shores of the sea comes the end of our Fellowship. That's better! As is Coffee and Deathsticks holiday tradition, Danny and Kevin return to Middle-earth and revisit the final entry of the holy trilogy, The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King. Is this the most flawed film in the series? Maybe, but it's a masterpiece nevertheless, and your favorite hobbitses are here to remind you of why this movie is so awesome. Follow us on Instagram at Coffee and Deathsticks or shoot us an email at cofeeanddeathsticks@gmail.com

Danny and Kevin discuss another Apple TV-produced historical epic from another great (ish) director: Napoleon, Ridley Scott's much anticipated biopic about history's most famous Corsican is. If you liked Rogue One, you'll enjoy Napoleon's unconventional narrative structure. And if you don't, check out Stanley Kubrick's masterpiece, Barry Lyndon. In the meantime, listen as the fellas grapple with the eternal contradiction that is Sir Ridley Scott. Follow us on Instagram at Coffee and Deathsticks or shoot us an email at coffeeanddeathsticks@gmail.com

Godzilla is back when and where he belongs: post-WWII Japan. Danny and Kevin were pleasantly surprised by Godzilla: Minus One, the first ever remake of the original 1954 Godzilla film. Deemed "the best movie about nuclear power in 2023" by Coffee and Deathsticks, listen as the duo boast about the latest Toho produced Godzilla picture. Follow us on Instagram at Coffee and Deathsticks or send us an email at coffeeanddeathsticks@gmail.com

November 2023. Kevin is on vacation. Only Danny is able to host. Podcasts are now battlefields. This week, special guest Ryan Marchant joins Danny to discuss Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World, a Certified Marchant Brothers Classic. The pair talk about pistols, boats, cactus booze, and positive manliness. The episode goes off the rails immediately but you will learn the name of Maggie Smith's son.   Follow us on Instagram at Coffee and Deathsticks or send us a dispatch at coffeeanddeathsticks@gmail.com

In honor of the 60th anniversary of John F. Kennedy getting the worst headache of his life, Danny and Kevin discuss Oliver Stone's 1991 cinematic masterpiece: JFK. The film is both a kaleidoscopic descent into madness powered by righteous paranoia and a cartoonishly libelous cavalcade of nonsense. The duo discuss the merits of the film (which are many) and the quagmire that is the Kennedy Assassination (which actually happened, kids!). Who really shot JFK? You won't get that answer here, but you will learn how to perpetually win the Kevin Bacon game. Follow us on Instagram at Coffee and Deathsticks or send us an email at coffeeanddeathsticks@gmail.com

Danny and Kevin discuss the latest Martin Scorsese picture: Killers of the Flower Moon. The film is a three-and-a-half hour journey into America's dark heart and probably one of Marty's best films. Quentin Tarantino's Directors-Get-Bad-When-They're-Old theory be damned...the Maestro still has it and only Death will take it away from him. Listen as Danny and Kevin tastelessly reference Mount Rushmore and totem poles during their review of a movie exploring atrocities committed against the Osage people. Find us on Instagram at Coffee and Deathsticks or email us at coffeeanddeathsticks@gmail.com

Danny and Kevin made a great call and decided to celebrate Halloween with a commentary on a horror-adjacent classic: James Cameron's 1986 masterpiece, Aliens. The duo discuss why this 37-year-old film holds up so well: The spot-on casting, the incredible production design, the perfectly-dated models and miniatures, the rousing James Horner score...all under the direction of a master of blockbuster storytelling. So strap in, you're on an express elevator to Movie Heaven, going up. Find us on Instagram at Coffee and Deathsticks or send us an email at coffeeanddeathsticks@gmail.com

Danny and Kevin discuss Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem since Danny saw that instead of Barbenheimer. The fellas weigh the merits of the latest Turtle adventure against its towering cinematic predecessors. How old is too old to be watching a Ninja Turtles movie? Are the Michael Bay entries really that bad? What does Danny's 20-month-old son think about all this? Listen and find out! #cowabungaFind us on Instagram at Coffee and Deathsticks or send us an email at coffeeanddeathsticks@gmail.com

Well, here we are. Ahsoka is over and it was completely fine. It was, in fact, pretty ok. If you've come this far into the river of blood, definitely check out this particular ripple of sanguinary real estate. But be warned: Danny and Kevin are still exhausted by these wars among the stars. So, listen to your favorite cynical/hopeful co-hosts drive themselves mad with despair/hope. And, finally, rest in power Dianne Feinstein. 

Danny and Kevin are back at the wheel of the HMS Sisyphus. What's life like on deck? Oh you know, just pushing their fandom for Star Wars up a hill and then getting crushed with varying degrees of disappointment as it rolls back down hill. Somewhere along the way, Kevin completely forgot that Rachel Bilson stared in the flash in the pan pop cultural phenomenon known as The O.C. Perhaps these two grown-ass men (one of whom has a child) should stop watching the Pew-Pew show about the Glib-Globs fighting the Meep-Moops.

Danny and Kevin are back at the trough to discuss the new Star War. The latest Disney+ show has dropped, and it's called Ahsoka. Is Ahsoka the main character? Sort of. Is Ahsoka the most interesting character? Eh, not really. Is Ahsoka still cool? Most definitely. The fellas discuss the first two episodes and predict what might be in store for them on this latest journey to the most exploited galaxy in the universe.  Follow us on Instagram at Coffee and DeathsticksEmail us at coffeeanddeathsticks@gmail.com

Danny and Kevin continue their discussion of Tom Cruise's ongoing blood ritual to get Xenu to grant him immortality. Dead Reckoning (Part One) is the latest impossible mission and it's great. Most movies are terrible but some are a blast. Why can't movies get gooder?

Danny and Kevin discuss the fascinating saga that is the Mission Impossible franchise. They start with a stripped-down thriller directed by Brian DePalma and end with an action master class starring straight shooter Alec Baldwin. In between, they discuss doves, direction, and death-defying stunts.

Guess who got rooked? That's right, your favorite podcast hosts! Danny and Kevin saw Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny and talked about it for almost two hours. Spoilers: Everyone owes Kingdom of the Crystal Skull a grudging apology.Follow us on Instagram at Coffee and DeathsticksEmail us at coffeeanddeathsticks@gmail.com