Jack's Silly Little Friendly Neighborhood Star Trek Discovery Podcast

Jaxilly, like the Romulans, is BACK!  Apologies for the delay, the hard drive with all the recordings was basically held hostage by a lunatic repairman for FIVE months, but it's now back in my hands and repaired thanks to my pops!  Expect episodes on a regular basis, starting with THIS ONE, in which Jack and Geoff talk about Masquerade, the fourteenth episode of Star Trek: Prodigy!  It's where Dal finds out what he really is!  And we find out what WE are, or at least what we were in November 2022.  Guys who talk a LOT about things like the return of Jellico, some surprising cast members, Elon Musk, the Outrageous Okona, the 25 Year Mission, and how Quantum Solace is better than you think.  And most importantly, the finale of ANDOR!  …. …. …. season one. 

  SPECIAL PRESENTATION: STAR TREK: SECTION 31~!  I know I'm sitting on a huge backlog of unreleased episodes, but we couldn't wait to drop our thoughts on Section 31! Although since this movie is destined to be a perennial favorite I'm sure it wouldn't matter when we drop this.  It's a big boy packed with a squad as memorable and beloved as that in Section 31.  Enjoy!

For Christmas 2024, Carlos first makes the long voyage to California, Jack's ancestral homeland, and settles in for a evening of outdoor cabana Christmas Eve cheer alongside Jack, Jack's father and Jay-Z.  Merry Christmas!

While the Prodigy kids finally meet the REAL Janeway and her cronies, guest Kregg Castillo finally meets the XINDI!  It's outrageous!  Also, Okona is in this episode for some reason, and that we means we get to reminisce on all the ways that TNG Season 2 was such remarkable television.  Kregg doesn&t remember Okona, and Jack also has some startling revelations about Prodigy that he already should have known.  Oh, and ANDOR TALK!  It's all here, and it's all outrageous!   

Guess who's back?  Well, in addition to the spirits of the original Enterprise crew (the NC-1701's, not the NX) (no, not Pike or April's, Kirk's crew) (Yes, the ones from the original SHOW) crew, living on through the will of these weird aliens, it's Kev, to talk about an initially pretty wild episode of Prodigy with one of the strangest premises we've ever seen. Kev and Jack really dive into the nuts and bolts of how and more importantly, IF this episode can even make sense, and bring to life the guy from one episode of TOS who started it all. You'll find it even more fun than constantly annoying everyone around you with a third-rate Shatner impression.

Jaxilly has assimilated a new guest, adding Beau Mathew's knowledge of video games and Japanese language tests to its own.  Listeners, I'm telling you, resistance is futile! The day Jack had dreaded and hoped, as recently as the previous episode, would never arrive, is here (in late 2022, I mean). It's Prodigy's BABY'S FIRST BORG episode. Does it stand a chance, or is it as worthless to us as a Kazon is to the Borg? The only way to find out is to listen to these two interlocutors drone on to each other.  JOIN THE JAXILLY HIVE MIND.

Prodigy is back (this was WAY before it was canceled), and so is the PD Crew! That·s right, the Prodigy Debut Crew (aka Super Rios Bros) is back, and they couldn·t be happier than to be talking about Barniss. Fucking. FREX and some of the other less important characters. But first, Jack is going to spend an absurdly long time guessing who·s in a Marvel movie that everyone has already seen, and the fellas are gonna touch on what makes TNG unique, talk Babylon 5, reminisce on why cops are scary, and quote Eminem a lot.  And hope that Prodigy never, ever, ever, does a Borg episode.

Jaxilly's coverage of the Lower Decks season 3 finale is finally released, and you'll never guess the amazing stars Jack has gathered for this loving tribute to the Golden State.  It's two of SoCal's most golden, SoCal Scarf boys Sam Stovold and Sean Davis!  In addition to their thoughts on this exciting finale, you'll hear a characteristic AI rant, explore the murky origins of Continuity Carlos, go on a Qualor deep dive, and celebrate some California Love!  And that isn't even mentioning a special surprise appearance by two of hip-hop and R&B's biggest stars, here to bridge the gap between east and west coasts!  It's been a long road, but you'll be Crazy in Love for this one, Rick!  It's ya boys!

  WARNING: If this is your first time listening to this podcast, DO NOT start here, theoretical fan who's just itching to hear some takes on the 9th episode of Season 3 of Lower Decks in August 2024.  For JAXILLY SUPERFANS ONLY (how's that for some gatekeeping; rather, trying desperately to keep the gates open).  For fans of podcasts on life support that should have died, but have instead been cobbled together from FOUR different recordings recorded in THREE separate calendar years, have we got the five hour masterstroke for you here!  Never has anyone struggled so hard to bring you so little.  Seriously, if you can get past the random sound levels and temporal mechanics, there may be some fun to be had here.  Thank you to Barm, for making this episode possible, in both the worst and best ways.  JAXILLY IS FOR FREAKS

Dim the lights and put on some popcorn, it's movie night at Jaxilly!  And the loudmouths in the theater this time are none other than Jack, Geoff, and Sean (with a special unbilled guest star (OK, it's Sam)) showing up to use Crisis Point 2 to reflect on movie tropes, endless quote the Simpsons, talk about the hottest pop culture (of late 2024), and remember that ANDOR makes this a double feature!  JAXILLY WILL RETURN.

Chirp, chirp, CAW, muthafucka!  Peanut Hamper is BACK (for the first time) in a Very Special Episode of Lower Decks, and this episode of Jaxilly is also very special because the wonderful Michelle Ugalde flies back to the nest and rejoins the flock to sing her songs about it, songs that Jack, Sean, Sam and Barm are all too happy to join in singing.  Songs about birdmen, nipples, Final Fantasy, why ANDOR is the greatest goddamn thing ever and so much more.  Roost here!  CORNISH GAME HENS ARE BIRDS

The boys all head back to Deep Space 9 to reopen the wormhole, and they're just as excited as the Cerritos crew!  Kregg, being a Ferengi expert / Dabo Boy, tells everyone AAAAAALLLLLL about Quark and his “Dabo Wheel”.  Plus, who can forget faithful Mariner, and her adventures in candle making?  Plus, we talk about the HOTTEST new Star Wars show.  That's right, ANDOR.  Reopen 2022 with us.

HEEEEEY, Jaxilly is FINALLY putting out episodes AGAAAIIIN.  This one was recorded nearly a year and a half ago, but it is WORTH THE WAIT.  The Super Rios Brothers are at it again, talking about the Spider-Verse, David Lynch and cowboys, Saul Rubinek, the films of Jordan Peele, the raft of delightful Star Trek deep cuts in this episode, and occasionally the main plot about the two Rutherfords that serves as the primary story arc of the season.  Come party like it's 2022!

Carlos fucks up another holiday?

It's COVIIIIIID TIME!  Jack's got COVID, and you know what that means.  FUN.  Especially when Barm, Sam Stovold, and SEEEEEEAAAAAN Davis are talking about Room for Growth, just in time for the finale of the next season of the same show!  Listen and enjoy these chucklefucks talking about engineers, Delta Shift, their history with churros, Jellico AGAIN, Simpsons moments that just don't sit right, and some Strange New Worlds casting talk that will SHOCK you, if you are in fall 2022.  Stay tuned for some Final Fantasy memories.  If you don't listen to this, you'll be like grampa left at the gas station….

Barm and Future Jack swoop in to rescue a crippled episode.  And in the process, make it a hundred times better than it ever could have been before.  So listen to them talk over Past Jack, Sam and Sean rating all their past teachers, talk about raising pigs, and maybe even occasionally mention this year old Lower Decks episode.  iIt's sure to put you in the mood for some chingas!

It's another ApeCast Lower Dex outing, as Jack and Geoff talk about K'Ranch and other silly condiments, as well as the return of Martok (in bootleg Ferengi form!), the appeals of low-key comedy with heart, and list as many variations on “The Most Dangerous Game” as they can remember.  It's the best podcast out there not hosted by a sentient volcano, a telepathic baby, and a super-intelligent computer.

The Cerritos crew may be Grounded, but Jaxilly positively SOARS whenever the PD Crew gets back together!  That's right, friends, you finally have in your ear buds something almost as legendary as Zephram Cochrane's first warp flight: Jaxilly eps about Lower Decks SEASON THREE, miraculously even before season four has started.  Thrill to the gang waxing nostalgic over First Contact, confusing Phil Lamarr and Phil Morris, relitigating proper grape growing techniques, making Kev write new songs, and so much more. Make 125th Contact… with FUN!

Break out the Cheeza, because it's time for the annual (?) Discovery album breakdown! This time, Jack and Kev are boogeying down to some smoooooth-ass jazz, making this possibly the chillest Jaxilly episode ever. Fortunately for Larry Carlton, the biggest guitar legend you've probably never heard of, he had the foresight to name his 1987 album Discovery, thereby guaranteeing that he would FINALLY get the recognition he deserves, when Jaxilly would expose him to a wider audience in 2023. In between these soothing guitar licks and a SHOCKING guest musician appearance, Kev and Jack figure out how to talk about instrumental music, discuss musical snobbishness, and regale the listeners with a series of fascinating Larry Carlton facts. Get ready for some SERIOUS SMOOTH SILLY SHIT.

Jaxilly, and its intrepid PD Crew (and Sean) engage the Quantum Drive to travel to New Horizons, in this, the first Orville Bonus – Orville Redentalkin': The Orvillesode (An episode about The Orville).  This episode of the podcast is the guys talkin' the last four(ville) episodes of The Orvile: Season 3, the ones that went on AFTER Strange New Worlds stopped.  Along the way, they'll talk Star Wars, Trek, obviously, DOMINO HARVEY, and a surprising amount about Ms. Marvel.  I think it's safe to say these guys like the Orville.  ORVILLE ORVILLE ORVILLE MY NAME IS DOMINO HARVEY I AM A BOUNTY HUNTER

Happy Birthday, Ben(cker).  The annual Curb episode is finally here, in a way that makes it not actually annual, but it still has Lauren! This time around, they're talking about a prettay prettay good season four episode, Ben's Birthday Party (which also means being sad about no Leon).  With the surprising return of Michael the blind pianist, they take the opportunity to delve into the life of Helen Keller, revisit peak Stiller-mania, talk tits and scrotes, the appeal of Lwaxana Troi, that weird trilogy of animated Netflix Godzilla movies and so much more.  When someone tells you no gifts, just bring ‘em THIS podcast.

It's finally here, performing for you.  It's Jack, Barm, Sean, Kev Young, and the Enterprise and Farragut Crew! Is this just a cheap attempt at piggybacking off the greatness of a TOS episode?  Or is it an using that episode to show us, through a gripping tale of heroism, destiny, and quirks of fate, what kind of a captain and man Pike is?  Only Chingy can tell.  But we can tell you all the latest details to emerge in the Shinzo Abe assassination, that Romulans are demons, and what Sam's Thoughts are, as well as one of Barm's most hardcore plugs, and a lot of other stuff.  You'll be as blown away as a Federation outpost on the border of the neutral zone!

Hemmer goes to war! The PD Crew (PD Crew is Barm + Reopening the Wormhole) gathers here to mourn the loss of Hemmer, and more importantly, DUKE. They're also celebrating GORNS, GORNS, GORNS! And puzzling over continuity, but also, finding that they don't really care when it's this good. Also, Buckley rules. Jack learns how to properly quote a hip-hop classic, and they all get out their final thoughts on Obi-Wan Kenobi as a whole. Heck, there's even some timely Ms. Marvel, Stranger Things and Lego Star Wars chat.  GORNS and HEMMER, this is a great episode!

Golden Ferengiman Kregg Castillo returns to join Barm, Sean Davis and Jack to rejoice at the prospect of the first M'Benga-sode and the return of a holodeck-adjacent flight of fancy, a classic Trek staple.  And Hemmer central! Not to say there aren't problems, however. Your boys have some ideas to improve the episode, like having Martin Short playing M'Benga's daughter. They also advocate for the return of the castrati, discuss the canonicity of Benny Russell, compare to real children's books, and delve deep into the Obi-Wan finale, and cap it off with some Moreville.  Obi-M'benga-nobi lives.

SYBOK SYBOK SYBOK Sam Stovold SYBOK SYBOK SYBOK SYBOK Kev Young SYBOK SYBOK SYBOK Sean Davis SYBOK SYBOK SYBOK pirates SYBOK SYBOK SYBOK Angel SYBOK SYBOK SYBOK Chingy SYBOK SYBOK SYBOK Obi-Wan Kenobi SYBOK SYBOK SYBOK The Orville SYBOK SYBOK SYBOK.  Now with 40% more Orville Redentalkin'!

Golden Boy Ferengi and Space Merchant expert Kregg Castillo takes his first adventure to a strange new world, accompanied by Barm and Jack. They compare said world to Mustafar and Alexandria (not the real city, the one from Final Fantasy IX, ya dum-dums), imagine what it would be like if Discovery characters were capable of making fun of each other, dish on child actors and talk about all the great TV that's on now! * (”Now” meaning June 2022). It's as fun as boning your old flame behind you find out her terrible secrets!

Celebrate Carlos coming back from his brush with death, and the new year, with an all new episode recorded eight months ago!  And guess what, it's Jack's ApeCast co-host Geoff Clarke, talking about Strange New Worlds for the first time.  Guess what, like all good-hearted people they love a good body swap, and ship games, and this episode delivers on both counts.  You know what else they love?  DARTH. FUCKING. VADER.  That's right, they're talking about the hottest Star Wars show of 2022.  Obi-Wan Kenobi. This episode is as on fire as ol' Ben!

Continuity Carlos is home for the holidays!  HOME ALONE, that is.  Hold on to your keisters!\Continuity Carlos is home for the holidays!  HOME ALONE, that is.  Hold on to your keisters!

Barm is back, and he and Jack go head to head, just like the Enterprise and the Gorn.  Whoever wins you lose.  Not true, every crew member of the Enterprise wins in their estimation, and they're also talking about the unexpected return of some classic Star Trek feels, some surprising character connections, flora and Hemmer and Uhura, the first look at Gorn ships, when and where they don't care about canon, and so much more.  Mostly, they're relishing the opportunity to say “Gorn” so much.  PS.  They sense something… a presence they've not felt since….

Ghosts of Illyria is the third episode of the first season of Star Trek: Strange New Worlds.  In this episode of the podcast Jack's Silly Little Friendly Neighborhood Star Trek Discovery, Short Treks, Picard, Lower Decks, Prodigy and Strange New Worlds Podcast, the host, Jack Stovold, talks about this episode with his brother Sam and their friend Sean Davis.  They also talk about Dr. Strange a good deal, and a penis museum in Japan.  It is a good episode of the show and of this podcast, please listen to it.

Somethin's cookin' at the first annual Jaxilly BBQ! (Formal dress required)!  Hmm, smells like fun! Like the COVID that has infected guest Sam Stovold, SNW's good writing and structure prove infectious to Richard Dunham and Sean Davis as well.  Host Jack isn't immune to good times either, and no damn comet or shepherd or Prime Directive is gonna stop them from having a GOOD TIME.  This episode is SICK.

Hey, Jack's FINALLY exploring them Strange New Worlds, and who better to join him than Kev Young (Reopening the Wormhole/The Great Bracket Racket) and BARM? Join them as they rejoice in Pike, marvel at how well-realized this crew is in only one episode, ponder what's to come, talk about Vulcan genitalia, try to move on with their lives after new revelations about the timeline of Earth wars, and explore Vulcan genitalia!  It's everything you and we want!  I'm gonna stop typing now.

Did you know there's a NEW Star Trek show? That's right, it came out the SAME DAY as the Picard S2 Finale, which DEFINITELY just happened. Anyways, Jack and Michelle kept drinking for a loooong time after recording the Picard finale ep, until the point they thought it would be a good idea to record a commentary track for the first-ever viewing of the show. Was it a good idea? Fire up your copy (?) of the premiere episode of Strange New Worlds, …. Strange New Worlds, follow along, and you be the judge! Stick around until after the credits for some red-hot ANDOR talk!

Finally, it's here for you.  It's the last member of Picard Season Two.  This pod's so long, it isn't funny, can make a Soong cry out for his Kahnny. Can pick up a Crusher with relative ease, make killin' Qs seem such a breeze. This season may be nonsense, it can't rank high, but this episode makes one hell of a try!

This week on Jaxilly, it's just Jack, Kev, and the final sobering realization that it's just too late at this point for Season 2 of Picard to stick the landing. That won't stop them from jiggering up some wacky out-there hail-Mary scenarios for the finale, wondering who finds loooong visually incomprehensible shootouts between faceless mercs in almost complete darkness entertaining, enjoying Elnor with major qualifications, pondering how Lawrence Tierney kept finding work, revisiting the freshmaking world of Mentos, and revealing what the Borg and Boba Fett have in common.  We made a universe of Kevs (and Jax)!

For the first time in Season 2, Space Merchant expert Kregg Castillo and Richard Dunham (Ghibli Minute, Akira Minute) join Jack and Kev Young (Reopening the Wormhole) to talk about Mercy! They dig in and feast upon Picard and Guinan's encounter with Agent Faux Mulder, ponder the bizarre implications of Adam Soong's history, bitch about more magical camera bullshit, and try to get to the bottom of just what Q can and can't do.  It's more delicious and nutritious than a parking lot's worth of car batteries!

Jack is joined once again by the redoubtable Kev Young (The Great Bracket Racket) and Sean Davis (After the Credits) to puzzle out the increasingly weird workings of Picard Season 2, as they talk about MONSTERS.  Notably, Sean sheds some more light on the weird vampire looking thing we only glimpsed last week, Kev and Jack debate the relative merits of fantastical metaphors for the inside of a mind, we compare and contrast Baltar and Bashir, do a classic throwback to discussions of the nature of reality, revisit Obama's biography and swap Chief Wiggum quotes.  Where else but here, or in the deepest recesses of our minds, are you gonna find ALL THAT!!??

Picard just gets weirder and weirder and yo boys are HERE to talk about it.  Picard STALWART Kev Young is joined by faithful Barm and Sean Davis to talk about Link's Awakening and its relationship to bad fathering, what a Star Trek: Picard video game might be like, the bizarre editing choices in this episode, what is going on with the Borg Queen, what is going on with Q, including the whereabouts of Corbyn Bernsen, they mysteries of Picard's body, the works of Lars Von Trier, and so much more! Listening to this podcast is slightly better than eing hit by a car three times in forty minutes!

Jaxilly is officially halfway through Season 2 of Picard, and you know what that means!  That's right, it's a hump day midseason Picarty!  And it wouldn't be much of a Picarty without the ApeCast's Geoff Clarke and emailer turned guest Michelle Ugalde, making their season two Picard debut to help out Picard experts Kev Young and Jack figure out what the hell is going on with Q, ANOTHER new nutty Soong, and ANOTHER Souji(?) and ANOTHER Laris(?).  Trust us, we're as conQsed as you are.  It's a big fun brouhaha at Jaxilly! Whether you're a basement dwelling nazi or a rich heiress who wants us to clone your fucking cat, there's a little something here for everyone!

Weary from Discovery, Sam Stovold and Sean Davis venture to 2024 Los Angeles to hang out with Picardos Jack and Kev Young, and together they paint the town red.  Also, La Barre, France.  That means, while discussing the adventures of Seven and Raffi in LA, they're also talking Star Trek IV, how the punk on the bus makes Star Trek part of the MCU and what that means, trying to wrap their minds around “young” Guinan and temporal mechanics, prognosticatin' Soongs, making some WILD predictions related to Assignment:  Earth and so much more!  Sincerely, Little Girl.

Kev and Barm are back for more Picard, and Jack, HIGH on Jerry Goldsmith's Borg Theme, REALLY decides to let loose and put the SILLY back into Jack's Silly Little Friendly Neighborhood Star Trek Discovery, Short Treks, Picard, Lower Decks and Prodigy Podcast (some might say annoying).  When the fellas can get the occasional words of non-gibbering madness into the mix, they're appreciating the creepy smugness of the new B.Queen, lovin' Rios, havin' some problems with RAFFI, comparing the relative funniness of various Kevins, and just havin' a swell ol' time.  This podcast and 2022 should get a room.

Disco Season 4 FINALLY comes to a close, and Jack's wingmen Sam Stovold and Sean Davis are joined by Ferengi expert Kregg Castillo, who hasn't watched a single other episode of Season 4 to talk about Jonathan (aka Species 10-C)!  The boys dish on a surprisingly decent finale to an okay season of Discovery, but it's too little, too late.  Jack has cause to worry about his guest situation for Season 5.  They're talking the season as a whole, the banality of Discovery's poignant moments, looking back at REAL early Jaxilly, learning to embrace the meh, dissecting Stacy Abrams' appearance, and ranking Disco season finales! But most importantly, ORBS, ORBS, ORBS! On to Picard!  Surely that won't fail us.

Jack loads up Skype, and the enigmatic and inscrutable Sean and Sam emerge from the mist, flashing a complex series of lights and spraying him with hydrocarbons. Classic. Using math, and Chingy lyrics, Jack was able to translate these into audio signals and a podcast, and found out they were just talking about Species 10-C. There are orbs in that hyperfield!

Jaxilly is bouncing back to Picard again, and Picardigans Barm and Kevin Young are here for the wild ride as Picard and crew find themselves trapped in a world they never made! Thrill to what is now in retrospect the peak of excitement for Picard Season 2 as the boys talk joys, specifically of digital cats, Alison Pill monologues, Borg Queen Questions, Okinawa boners, Harveys, and of course, SKULLS, SKULLS, SKULLS! Engage!

Screaming!

PICARD is back, and so is the PD Crew to talk about it/him.  (PD Crew is Barm plus Reopening the Wormhole).  They get right into this weirdness by mourning Zhaban, celebrating Sexy Irish Romulans, analyzing El-Aurian aging, pinning down Starfleet academy chronology, remembering Inception, and embracing Spanish technobabble.  Never forget, Picard's a ROBOT.  

Jaxilly is breaking down barriers with the help of Discovery holdouts Sam and Sean again (Jack's saviors)! Like our intrepid heroes on Discovery, the boys jump from topic to topic to get to the end of the episode. Notables include taking an immediate liking to this Hirai fellow, celebrating the return of Cronenberg, cringing at the increasingly uncomfortable relationship between Stamets and Adira, Picard Prognosticatin', Tarka Talk, the intersection of science and Final Fantasy, the joys of talking like Saru, a truly EPIC rant, and FENNEC. FUCKING. SHAND.  Cross the barrier to FUN.

The Rios Bros. are crossin' the Rubicon to talk about Rubicon, apparently the 100th episode of the current age of Trek! To celebrate this momentous occasion, the boys start off by not knowing or recognizing this fact, delve into Crystal Tokyo, celebrate Nhan's return, count their Soongs, compare the character impressions, rally around a surprise winner, deliver their spot-on Sean Davis impersonations, and are unable to determine what the next episode is! Here's to another hundred!

Discovery is back, yay…? And so are Sean Davis (After the Credits) and Richard Dunham (Ghibli/Akira Minute), joining Jack to bask in the simple pleasures of Haz Mazaro, his many silly similes, and his unique KARMA BARGE. We're also talkin' Tarka, Oh Wow Owosekun, and the Federation's fantastic planning skills.  Plus, we close The Book on Boba Fett. It's more fun than a containment unit of Tarkalian simians!

JAXILLY is back, and so is brother from another mother Barm, and brother of Ryan, Sean, to talk about the ninth episode of this CGI children's show!  And you know what, hey, it ain't too bad. Join them as they talk about Zero going HAM, the impending (at the time) return of Discovery, what the least funny MCU movie is, original recipe Janeway and so much more.  There's a terrible tragedy which befalls Sean in this episode!

JAXILLY is back, and so is brother from another mother Barm, and brother from another podcast, Kevin, to talk about the eighth  episode of this CGI children's show!  And you know what, hey, it ain't too bad. Join them as they talk paint-by-numbers kits, dish on video games , rank Kurtwood Smith's Star Trek characters, appreciate the best pause music ever, and much more.  There's casual fun in this podcast!