PSYCHO THERAPIST

Megan's earliest memory is of being abused, and that abuse remained a defining feature of her childhood, along with significant neglect. She spent part of her childhood in foster homes, part with her grandparents, and part navigating her mother's mental illness and addiction. Her history is so traumatic that Renée can barely control her reactions (and, you know, she barely tries), but Megan is remarkably resilient and ready to sort out the horrors of her upbringing and the abusive relationships that followed. In the process, she and Renée discuss neurodivergence, intergenerational trauma, fragile egos, addiction, childbirth, and more - and somehow they do a lot of laughing. Megan has so much content, and she delivers it with stunning cycle-breaker spirit, making it that much easier for Renée to map out her path to healing. There is a lot to chew on in this one, and it leads to a gloriously happy ending. Plus, Renée answers some listener questions in the intro!Support the show

Imani came to the show to talk about America's favorite symptom: anxiety. In the last few months, the anxiety that Imani has suffered since middle school has increased significantly, and she has no idea why. The question is particularly tricky because Imani has much less content than our usual guest. Renée is up for the challenge, though! She investigates, combing through Imani's childhood and adolescence, ultimately separating her functional anxiety from her dysfunctional anxiety, her trauma from her stress, and her physiological symptoms from her psychological symptoms. By the end, Imani has a comprehensive plan for resolving her layers of distress. If you need a refresher course on anxiety, this is the episode for you. Plus, Renée delivers a new chapter of The Rodent Chronicles in the intro!Support the show

The laughter starts at the very beginning this week. Mike is a brilliant storyteller with a particularly compelling voice, and he makes Renée laugh - a lot. But don't let his buoyant humor fool you: Mike has been through it. "I would just sit at home and cry," he explains of the long stretches of time in his life when he has been lost in emotional pain. To make matters more difficult, Mike cannot pinpoint the exact source of his distress. He and Renée sort through the delusions, depressions, and difficulties that have defined his three decades of life and find that there is likely a complicated knot of childhood trauma, intergenerational trauma, and neurological injury that led to Mike's unusual symptoms - and ultimately to his psychotic break. They talk masculinity, mania, mushrooms, dreams, diagnoses, and more while Renée organizes Mike's experiences and symptoms, finally pulling it all together into a unique formulation. This one is different in the best possible way, thanks largely to Mike's engaging personality, beautiful candor, and excellent insight. Plus, Renée makes an exciting announcement in the intro and answers some listener questions about trauma and memory. This one is equal parts learning and laughter, just the way we like it.Support the show

When Hannah was seven months old, her parents sent her to live with a foster mother, and it would be four years before she was reunited with her family. The strangest part about this is that it wasn't strange at all; at the time, this was a common arrangement for Nigerian families in the UK. Hannah's story continues to be unpredictable and unique: she went from military school and the Merchant Marines to earning an MFA in Creative Writing and hosting a cannabis literary club. She comes to the show because she wants to stop making herself smaller for others' comfort. Hannah's intelligence, drive, and self-possession are abundantly clear when she talks - so what's going on? As Renée searches for the source of Hannah's discomfort, it becomes clear that there is much more trauma in Hannah's story than is immediately evident. They sort through the layers of familial, cultural, and racial variables to isolate the trauma strands and identify the pieces that are blocking Hannah's growth, ultimately identifying the healing tools and wellness strategies that will uncover Hannah's voice. And then just when it seems like the conversation is over, Hannah brings some fabulous last-minute content; they talk sleep hygiene, the 7 types of rest, revenge procrastination, burnout, activism, and more. Plus, Renée talks about moving, depression, and mice - yes, mice -  in the intro. This one is all over the place, in the best possible way.Support the show

"I sometimes wish I could turn it off," Rafael told Renée about his emotional intensity. It's hard to believe when you first hear him - his energy is lighthearted and gentle, and his story starts out relatively uneventful - but Rafael is only recently recovered from polysubstance addiction. A series of difficult losses sent him seeking relief with self-medication, and soon he was taking Xanax bars before family Seders. Now at 27 and with two years of sobriety under his belt, Rafael finds himself struggling with feelings of worthlessness. He came to the show hoping Renée can help him excavate the deep self-loathing that fed and was fed by his past addiction. She can, and by the end they have a starting point for his healing as well as a few other goodies, including tips for navigating a love-language mismatch. Plus, Renée talks mushrooms in the intro and teaches a new strategy for resolving anxiety at the break.Support the show

This episode talks in detail about rape."I've actually been really scared to talk about these things," Paige told Renée as she started to tell her story and lose her breath. Paige had a relatively happy childhood and an appropriately "boy crazy" adolescence. Unfortunately, her first boyfriend was so abusive and controlling that, until recently, she kept the details of the five-year relationship buried far away from her consciousness. Now a happily married, 32 year-old mother of three, Paige finds herself suddenly overcome by the trauma - memories, feelings, all of it -- and she has come to the show hoping Renée can help her stabilize. Her story is intense and it was hard for her to tell it, but her bravery is stunning. Renée helps Paige understand her intense symptoms and new triggers, and by the end Paige not only has her breath back, but she also has hope and a plan.Support the show

"It's an abusive relationship sometimes," Chad told Renée. He wasn't talking about his love life - he was talking about his job. Chad, who brings equal parts strength and sensitivity to the conversation (not to mention a seriously soothing voice), works as a 911 Dispatcher, and, as he explains, he often wants out but just can't leave. This relationship with his job is a big part of the reason Chad has come to the show; he is hoping Renée can help him let go of the stress he carries not only because his job is inherently stressful, but also because he puts so much pressure on himself. Having a job that demands hypervigilance makes it extra tricky to manage stress, but Renée is up for the challenge. She and Chad sort out the intersections of his childhood trauma and his current stress situation and develop a solid plan for salvaging his nervous system. As it turns out, this is a little more complicated than work stress, and Chad uncovers new layers and makes new connections right up until the very end of the conversation. But before they get into it, Renée has a story to tell. So much so that the intro is long enough to be its own episode. And we thought about making it an entirely separate episode. Instead, we are giving you one big juicy one. Muah!Support the show

Jess was raised in the Mormon church and was a perfectly happy child - until she was sexually assaulted by two neighbors at 11 years old. Even at that young age, she had the self-possession to report the incident, only to be told by the church that the assault was her fault. This was the origin of Jess's "bad picker," as she calls it; she found herself drawn to abusive relationships before extricating herself from the church and its dogma. The journey from oppression to autonomy was dynamic and deeply difficult, and, Jess is ready to share the whole story. She has done a lot of healing work already, and her strength and smarts shine at every turn. Still, despite her remarkable resilience, she continues to struggle with the symptoms of CPTSD, and she comes to the show hoping Renée can provide the elusive layer of healing that will finally free her. Renée can, but not before Jess takes us through a ton of trauma twists and turns. Religion, relationships, suicide, sexuality, body image, babies, and more: all leading up to a beautifully happy ending.Support the show

Chris had a happy childhood. He has an aspirational marriage. He loves his job. So what the hell is he doing on the show? Well, Chris had a happy childhood, but his brother did not, and this difference has strained their relationship to near estrangement - and that is what Chris is doing on the show. Not only does he want help navigating the conflict with his brother, but he also wants to protect the relationships he has with his brother's kids - without betraying his own boundaries. Fortunately for Chris, Renée loves few things more than analyzing messy family dynamics and talking about B-B-B-B-B-Boundaries. They dig in deep and get it all sorted. Plus, Renée answers a juicy listener question in the intro. Siblings, spirituality, personality disorders, energetic boundaries, near death experiences: this one has a little something for everyone!Support the show

"I remember dieting a lot," Tatiana explained to Renée about her childhood, recalling that her mother regularly told her "You'd look prettier if you lost twenty pounds." Her mother's constant criticism corrupted not only Tatiana's relationship with food but also her relationships in general - with herself, with partners, with her body. Tatiana is startlingly wise for her age; her insight, intelligence, and vulnerability make her story even more compelling, and the content is compelling enough on its own: mothers, eating disorders, body image, alcohol, adderall, abandonment, codependency, boundaries, depression, medication, love bombing, and that's not all. Tatiana has a specific question for Renée that doesn't emerge until more than halfway through their conversation: Why is her body rejecting her current partner? And this is where things get extra juicy. Renée helps Tatiana sort out the many layers of her current experience, and by the end Tatiana has a cohesive and empowered narrative, new hope, and a plan.Support the show

Hey everyone; this is Renée. The first thing you need to know about this week's episode is that it's not a real episode. It's a long-form placeholder. There was a bit of a disaster with tonight's episode (hint: the disaster's name starts with R and hosts the show), and you know there is no way I was going to skip a week of content without at least letting you know what's going on. So this was intended to be a brief explanation, but as usual I kept talking. If you are looking for the engaging guests, informative content, and quick thinking you're used to from me, come back next week, or pick any other week for that matter. I promise to deliver. All bets are off this week, as I publicly reckon with my perfectionism and arrogance. Cool.But no one can say I have skipped a week. 106, baby. ;)Support the show

"Well now you've made it much more complicated!" Jesus told Renée when she offered an explanation for his social isolation. Indeed, Jesus came on the show hoping to promote his comedy and have a quick conversation - but you know Renée can't let him off that easily. Instead, she took Jesus on a deep dive into his history of self-proclaimed "not caring." He didn't care about school, he doesn't care about socializing, and he doesn't care about not caring. What's going on? Well, Jesus didn't really care about that, either, until Renée stumbled onto some juicy details. As it turns out, there is, a concrete explanation for some of Jesus's avoidant relationship behaviors - and the longer they talked, the more Renée found. They cover friendships, cheating, dopamine, oxytocin, and more - and at the end, they do finally talk about comedy. It's a fun kickoff for Season 3!Support the show

"I can't move past it," Kimberly explained to Renée, referring to the loss of her closest friendship. The loss of the friendship was complicated by the loss of a baby, and now Kimberly finds herself dealing with what she can best describe as "survivor's guilt." When she and Renée dug into the situation, it became clear that Kimberly is still, years after the friendship fracture, in deep pain - and as they dug even deeper, they found that there is lot more going on than just this break-up. Kimberly is brave and vulnerable and smart, and she makes it easy for Renée to sort it out. They talk mean girls, friendship trauma, grief, and more. Plus, Renée teaches a new strategy for dealing with social anxiety in the intro. It's a juicy episode with which to wrap up Season 2!Support the show

"I was just born sponge-y," Jaye told Renée, explaining her exquisite sensitivities. These sensitivities made for a challenging childhood, one that would have been difficult for any child given Jaye's emotionally neglectful and conflict-ridden home. Now a 37 year-old therapist in the UK, Jaye has healed many of her old wounds, but there are still some pain points that traditional therapy has not addressed. Specifically, Jaye struggles with boundary setting, is plagued by persistently negative self-talk, and finds herself regularly "trodden on" by others; she comes to the show hoping Renée can answer the age-old question: Is it me or is it them? On the way to an answer, the two women discuss wonky diagnoses, ego responses, neurodivergence, and more. Ultimately, Renée gets to the root of the problems, and Jaye provides a compelling narrative thanks to her sharp intelligence and dry Virgo wit - and, extra bonus: her accent is like buttah.Support the show

Sami brings an issue to the show that no other guest has: he desperately wants to get a dog. Doesn't sound like a problem, right? It is for Sami, because when he thinks about becoming a pet parent, his mind immediately goes to the inevitable loss he will face when the dog dies. He is having the same problem with dating. He isn't pursuing love because he is too scared of what he anticipates will be an inevitably messy breakup. And here's the thing: Sami really wants a dog - and a girlfriend. What's going on? Well, there are a few variables conspiring to keep Sami longing for love both human and canine. Renée helps him sort it all out in a conversation that covers Sami's difficult childhood, his romantic relationships, his neurodivergence, Scorpio sensitivities, and more.Support the show

Ally, a former middle school teacher turned professional artist, has come to the show to talk about two of therapy's favorite topics: parents and boundaries. Specifically, Ally needs help setting boundaries with her parents - the trick is, she wants to do so without confrontation. Renée accepts the challenge, and as she formulates a plan for Ally, they make a few stops at other topics: toxic teachers, teenagers, bullying, anxiety, friendships, money, and more. Ally has a lovely voice, a fast dry wit, and some tricky family dynamics to navigate. It all gets sorted in a fun, fast-paced conversation. Plus, Renée tells a sordid story on request and talks about safely discharging anger in the intro. Lots of content and lots of laughing as we start the countdown to Season 3!Support the show

When Renée asked Torie what she does for work, Torie responded, "Ugh. You're going to hate this. I'm a lawyer." This was only one of many times that Torie made Renée laugh out loud. Hilarious and whip-smart, Torie grew up in an "enmeshed" family that survived both her mother's brain tumors and her father's catastrophic car accident. She navigated severe anxiety as a child, postpartum depression as a new mom, and, most recently, an existential crisis. She comes to the show hoping Renée can help her map out a path to the life satisfaction that has so far eluded her. Along the way, they talk about parenting challenges, mental health care, family boundaries, and a lot of other things that help Renée identify the different forces that conspire to keep Torie frustrated. And, for the record, this is the podcast's 100th episode! Torie's openness and quick wit make for an episode well-deserving of the honor.Support the show

"I'm the mediator...I'm the oldest everything," Layla told Renée. While she is the oldest child in her immediate family and the oldest cousin in her extended family, Layla is the youngest guest we have ever had on the show. You'd never guess that from listening to her, though; she is wise beyond her years and lovely in every way. She is also carrying a timeless burden, one that most of us unpack much later in life. Layla brings all the podcast favorites to this episode - fragile ego responses, enmeshment, codependency, complex trauma - and she asks some familiar questions, including, "Why am I attracted to this jerk?" and "How to do I set boundaries with my mom without hurting her?" Renée answers these questions and more, and Layla makes us all look bad with her stunning maturity.Support the show

Christy reached out to Renée in a Q&A with this question: "My skin gets red and blotchy whenever I'm around cis men. What's going on?" Since Renée needed a lot more information before she could formulate an answer, she and Christy and decided to sort it out on the show. They look at Christy's childhood, her marriage, her experience as a parent - all of it - ultimately arriving at a fascinating explanation, one that both Renée and Christy are quite excited about. And get this: it's NOT trauma! What is it, then? Well, the answer is complex, so you'll just have to listen to find out. Fortunately, the path to it is juicy - anger, relationships, politics, psychosomatics, astrology, martyrdom, and more. It's also a lot of fun, thanks largely to Christy's infectious energy, beautiful openness, and intelligent insight. Support the show

"I don't really want to talk about this at all, but let's do it," Deena told Renée when they started talking. Deena, a performing artist, has a brilliant dry wit - but in this case she was only half-joking. She has a bunch of painful content that she'd rather ignore; fortunately, she's too smart for that, so she has come to the show for help unpacking the knot of depression and trauma she has been carrying for years. And that's not all: she and Renée talk about ADHD and how it can complicate friendships, people-pleasing behaviors, what "healed" really means, and more. Deena's humor, intelligence, honesty, and eloquence make for a brilliant conversation, so much so that Renée stops mid-conversation to tell her so. This one is fast-paced, rich in content, and ends with a path to personal peace.Support the show

Our first guest of the year is here to blow your mind. Haley was sex trafficked as a young child - by her mother. Now 31 years old and a mother herself, Haley comes to the show to tell her story and deepen her healing. She has done so much work already to break the many cycles of dysfunction into which she was born, but, as any cycle breaker will tell you, the work can feel endless. Renée gives Haley potent supports to keep her life force spinning as she finds leaves behind the deeper trauma scars and practices new boundaries with others and new love for herself. Haley's story is gutting, but Haley herself is a lovely wonder whose honesty and strength will astound you. Support the show

Renée is back with one more episode of storytelling and psycho-education to kick off the new year. This week, she narrates the series of disasters that hit just as she was leaving Italy and makes meaning from the madness. Then, she answers listeners' questions about domestic violence, the ego, and defense mechanisms. Next week, we return to our usual format with some amazing guests. Until then, sink your teeth into some meaty content delivered with Renée's characteristic unfiltered, unedited, unchecked energy.Support the show

Renée continues last week's series of episodes from Italy in trademark style: unplanned, unedited, and with a lot of words. This week, she talks about being a gluten-free vegan in the land of pizza and pasta before answering a few particularly interesting listener questions. Topics include why so many married couples are breaking up, how to tell your partner you're upset without causing a fight, and the best ways to intervene on panic and anxiety attacks. Plus, there's a bonus section at the very end that was recorded only moments before the episode aired in which Renée serves a little extra honesty. From her makeshift studio in Messina, Italy, Renée closes out the year with some hardcore content and some softcore ramblings. There's a little something for everyone: Happy Holidays!Support the show

We take a break from our regular programming this week so that Renée can catch up on some juicy questions from listeners. Topics include fractured relationships, EMDR, phobias, and Body Dysmorphic Disorder. And as always with Renée-only episodes, it's raw! No editing, no breath work breaks, just a whole lot of information. If you have a question for Renée that didn't make it to this episode, don't despair. There will be another, longer Q&A episode coming very soon, so keep those questions coming!Support the show

Mickayla is a stand-up comedian, which makes her an excellent storyteller, and she has quite the story to tell -  one she has never told before. She decided to come to the show after realizing that the trauma of her marriage is interfering with her new single life; she is constantly triggered in her new relationships, and she feels her depression creeping back to full strength. To make it more complicated, Mickayla does not currently have access to therapy or EMDR, though she has done both in the past. Fortunately, Renée picks up where Mickayla's past work in therapy left off. The two of them do quite a lot of laughing despite the intensity of Mickayla's narrative, and even Mickayla's dog weighs in a few times. Ultimately, Renée maps out a path for Mickalya that leads her farther away from her trauma and nearer to the closeness and wholeness she craves.Support the show

"I call it my 'splat from grace!'" Michelle told Renée. "My entire life turned upside down with my divorce." She isn't kidding. Michelle's marriage started out "fairy tale-esque" and devolved into an abusive nightmare over the course of 18 years. She comes to the podcast hoping Renée can help her deal with the worst consequence of her family's fracture: her broken relationship with her adult son. In order to get it sorted, Renée follows Michelle through the dramatic narrative that begins with Michelle's dream family and ends with her son refusing to speak to her. Fortunately for us, Michelle is a live wire, which makes the story extra compelling. Her family situation is indeed rather tricky, but it starts to come into focus once Renée unearths Michelle's older, unresolved pain. In the end, they get it all sorted: Michelle has a plan for moving forward, and she clearly has the energy to put that plan into action!Support the show

Travis was diagnosed with both depression and ADHD as an adult, and recently his symptoms have intensified to the point that they are creating problems in his marriage and sabotaging his satisfaction with life in general. "I've stopped trying to pursue things that I want," he explained to Renée. Travis came to the show in the hopes that Renée can help him manage his executive dysfunction and recapture his initiative. And so she does, clarifying the relationship between ADHD and depression before giving Travis actionable strategies for managing his symptoms, restoring harmony in his marriage, and finding his motivation. They make a few stops along the way to talk about grief, alcoholism, and the difference between negative reinforcement and punishment. Travis and Renée are both self-proclaimed nerds with psychology backgrounds, so the conversation gets into a groove quickly, thanks largely to Travis's gentle spirit, sharp intelligence, and impressive insight. Plus, the intro is extra this week: Renée outlines 5 steps for navigating stressful family holidays. The season is upon us, people! Gird your loins, channel your breath, and, if all else fails, let these 73 minutes distract you.Support the show

"I was the kind of kid that made friends with my bully," Alyssa told Renée. This didn't help her much, because the bullying was rampant. She was bullied at school all day, every year, only to come home to the biggest bully of all: her father. Add to that the facts that Alyssa grew up racially isolated and that her parents' divorce only intensified her father's abuse, and you get a nasty web of complex trauma. Alyssa comes to the show looking for help with the present, however, specifically a friend break-up that she can't get over. As is so often the case, it turns out that the emotions of the present are tangled up in the past, so Renée helps Alyssa develop a plan to untangle them. Alyssa is not only smart, articulate, and creative; she also laughs easily, which is particularly impressive given the many pain points in her history. And at only 22, that pain is still fresh. Alyssa shares her story with humor and vulnerability, and Renée points her towards the healing that will put her many years of therapy to good use.Support the show

"Here I am two years later and I still think about her every day," Mark told Renée, referring to his ex-wife. His first marriage survived his partner's affair and went on to produce two children before ending amicably in divorce. His second marriage came to a much pricklier conclusion, and Mark is still struggling to accept and process its end. He came to the show hoping Renée can help him "get closure and move on." And get this: he specifically wants some guidance around his own relationship behaviors, which he identifies as narcissistic and abusive. You read that right: he wants to discuss his own narcissistic behavior. He and Renée discuss all of it and more, and ultimately they arrive at the answers Mark needs to understand and address his own behaviors as well as to accept the end of his marriage. Mark adds a compelling curveball at the end, and Renée puts an astrological spin on it before she ties it all together with a big, intergenerational, therapeutic bow. From marital rituals to grief rituals to hangover rituals, the conversation gets deep fast and covers loads of content, thanks largely to Mark's brilliant honesty, easy humor, and deft storytelling. (Plus, the intro to this one is extra juicy and all about last week's controversial episode.)Support the show

Edited to add this note from Renée:Hey there everyone! The feedback on this episode has been intense already. I was aware when we aired it that this would be the case! Our guests are almost exclusively deeply vulnerable and eager for support. Bianca comes to the show in a much different place. So I decided to air this episode to challenge us all -- myself included. How do we find our empathy and desire to help someone who doesn't immediately inspire us to want to help them? If you find yourself frustrated when you listen to this one, I get it. And I encourage you to go into that frustration and ask yourself why it is. There are some obvious reasons, and then there are some deeper ones. Go deep! Lastly, if you are new to the show, I recommend you go back a few episodes to start. This one is a better listen once you are familiar with the format of the show. I love you all! - renéeBianca went from feeling herself and living her dream life as a dancer in L.A. to losing herself in the chaos of new motherhood during Covid lockdown. Now, she finds herself sorting the leftover pieces of a broken relationship, specifically the shame and self-consciousness she learned from her ex-partner's critical voice. Bianca's only objective when she came to the show was to tell her story - and she has a lot to say! Fortunately for us, she is an engaging storyteller. And at the end of Bianca's beautifully thorough narrative, Renée surprises her by dropping some existential bombs, connecting Bianca's past to her present and giving her an entirely new way to think about her future. It's well worth the wait to hear the pieces come together. Support the show

"I think I'm just a temporary person," Michee told Renée, explaining that she has never felt prioritized by friends or family. She describes her childhood as "toxic and abusive," with a controlling, unpredictable father and a loving but absent mother. She has struggled with all of her relationships, whether platonic, familial, or romantic, and insists that she "wasn't someone people cared much for." You need to hear Michee for only a few minutes to know that this can't be true. She is smart, funny, gracious, forgiving, talented, honest, resilient - she is extraordinary. Then why are her relationships so dysfunctional? This is one of the questions Michee and Renée explore and answer. They also talk about how to hold boundaries and empathy at the same, how to safely excavate repressed emotions, and, at the end of the episode, why Michee struggles to say no to unwanted physical touch. Don't sleep on Michee; her humor is sneaky! She cracks Renée up several times. In exchange, Renée helps her find the way out of the depression and codependency that has kept her stuck.Support the show

When Bobby applied to be a guest on the show, he wanted help resolving the leftover emotional wounds from his childhood, which he described as one of "constant chaos, instability, and... abuse." Despite some intense breakthroughs in talk therapy, strands of trauma remained. But get this: a few days before he recorded his episode, Bobby had a life-changing Ayahuasca journey that healed those wounds. And that's not the only fascinating part of Bobby's story. He tells Renée about all of it, from growing up and coming out as a gay man in a hyper-masculine community to the estrangement and reconciliation he navigated with each of his family members to the cataclysmic psychedelic experience that healed his emotional wounds - and more. Renée narrates the therapeutic pieces and shares some details from her own psychedelic experiences, and in the end she gives Bobby a plan to start healing his body now that his mind and soul are well. Bobby is a fantastic storyteller with a story that's intense, dramatic, full of happy endings, and a lot of fun.Support the show

"Emotions were a taboo thing in my house," Alyssa said when Renée asked about her childhood. And, get this: Alyssa is now a therapist. She raised in an invalidating environment by an emotionally misattuned mother and often absent father, but since then Alyssa has made it her job, literally and figuratively, to honor her sensitivity and sharpen her insight. She has done both and beyond, yet she still struggles to release her anger over the circumstances of her recent divorce, and for good reason. Renée helps her get to the bottom of it, and in the process they untangle Alyssa's complicated relationship with her mom and unresolved grief around her dad. That's not it, either! This is a fast-paced, punchy, and content-rich episode!Support the show

Dan grew up in an abusive household with perfectionist parents who often asked him, "Why can't you be normal?" Not only did Dan feel misunderstood and disconnected at home, but he also struggled in social situations; his childhood was lonely. Now, at 41 years old, Dan has a loving wife, a happy daughter, and a new understanding of his neurodivergence. What he doesn't have is a sense of peace about his parents. That's where Renée comes in. She and Dan sort out his wounds and triggers, and in the process they talk about all sorts of stuff, including online dating, cycle breaking, and finding purpose. Renée gives Dan hope that he can finally silence his father's critical voice in his head, and Dan gives everyone a master class in corrective emotional experiences. (Plus, there's an anxiety tutorial in the intro!)Support the show

Last week's guest, Annette, shared with us late in the episode that she is in an abusive relationship, one that she is not quite ready to leave. So many people were moved by Annette's story, and some of those people reached out to Renée with questions about why it can be so hard to leave an abusive partner. Renée had planned to address the questions in this week's intro - and then Brandi came to the show. "I'm not afraid to talk about it anymore. I need to talk about it," she said. Brandi's beautiful bravery is brilliantly timed. She recently left her husband for the 5th time, and she comes to the show to tell her story, a perfect follow-up to last week's conversation. Brandi takes us through the details, and then Renée breaks down the layers of trauma, domestic violence, addiction, and grief to outline Brandi's path forward. Plus, Guest Co-Host Ashley shares some of her own story, one that is at times startlingly similar to Brandi's. There's a lot of trauma and a lot of healing in this episode, an unintentional but fitting Part Two to Annette's Part One. And don't worry, there still manages to be plenty of nonsense; the episode ends with a mini stand-up routine. You know, the usual.Support the show

"I have so many stories for you, you don't even know," Annette tells Renée early in this episode. And, wow, was she right. Fortunately for all of us, Annette is hilarious and smart and tells her story perfectly. This makes it easy for Renée to find places to go - so much so that a conversation that Annette had expected would be about one aspect of her childhood trauma becomes a much deeper and more complex dive. Annette and Renée cover a lot of topics as they explore her story, from promiscuity to polyamory to why self-love is so elusive. And make no mistake: this is an intense one, a roller-coaster narrative that takes an unexpected deep and dark dive into the present at the end. Somehow it's a lot of fun, too, once again thanks to Annette's engaging openness. Renée is able to not only find hope in Annette's story but also give her practical steps towards finally separating her present from her past, much to Annette's surprise. Support the show

Lisa ordered diet pills through the mail when she was 15 years old, and that order became the cornerstone of a decades long eating disorder. She has completed an inpatient eating disorder treatment program, she attends ongoing outpatient therapy, and still she falls back into disordered eating whenever her stress is unmanageable. Lisa has worked hard, and she is tired of shrinking herself. She comes to the show hoping Renée can help her figure out how to stop battling herself and her body. Renée goes looking for what Lisa's treatment missed, and in the process she and Lisa discuss relationships, parts work, psychedelics, why relapses are helpful, and why traditional eating disorder treatment just doesn't work. By the end, Lisa knows what needs to heal, and Renée shows her how to get there.Support the show

On the heels of Andre's punchy episode, Tolu changes the tempo this week. If André was pop punk, Tolu is smooth jazz. His voice is gentle and comforting, and his spirit matches. Tolu doesn't have a childhood trauma story to tell, but he does have a problem he needs help with, and it just happens to involve one of Renée's favorite topics: meddling moms. Despite a childhood he calls "fun" and the easy awareness that his mom loves him, Tolu, now 29, finds himself dreading contact with her. What's going on? Enmeshment is the name of the game, and Renée gets in there and sorts the boundary problems and solutions, while Tolu tries to get Renée and Ashley to talk about themselves - and succeeds a few times. Ultimately, Renée and Tolu not only conduct a master class on boundaries, they also discuss how to navigate unbalanced romantic and platonic relationships and the relationship between codependency and social anxiety. Renée gives Tolu concrete strategies for managing all of it, Tolu gives us all reasons to root for him.Support the show

Andre is a 47 year-old father of three who is "tired of being in survival mode." He comes to the show hoping Renée can help him resolve his persistent anxiety. And she can, but not before she and Andre discuss his childhood trauma, his first wife's death from cervical cancer, racism, parenting, stand-comedy, grief, and more. Andre has a complicated story, and he is brilliant at telling it, which makes it easy for them to unravel the persistent knot that has lived in his body for decades. Andre is as funny as he is vulnerable, much to Renée's delight. He basically takes over the last third of the episode and teaches a master class that is beautifully wise and hilarious all at once - much like Andre himself.

(Note from Renée: Hi all! If you were one of the first 50 people to listen to this episode, you probably noticed it was missing the ending. For reasons we never figured out, the last 15 minutes got cut off when we originally uploaded it. And those 15 minutes are the best part! Not to worry; it is all fixed now!)Andre is a 47 year-old father of three who is "tired of being in survival mode." He comes to the show hoping Renée can help him resolve his persistent anxiety. And she can, but not before she and Andre discuss his childhood trauma, his first wife's death from cervical cancer, racism, parenting, stand-comedy, grief, and more. Andre has a complicated story, and he is brilliant at telling it, which makes it easy for them to unravel the persistent knot that has lived in his body for decades. Andre is as funny as he is vulnerable, much to Renée's delight. He basically takes over the last third of the episode and teaches a master class that is beautifully wise and hilarious all at once - much like Andre himself.

"I'm just terrified to get close to anyone right now," Elio told Renée early in their conversation. When you hear their story, you will easily understand their terror. Elio wasn't sure what they wanted from coming on the show, but they certainly gave Renée plenty to work with. There have been a series of hard hits in Elio's short life, and yet their spirit is bright and infectious; they inspire Renée to carve out some healing within overwhelming circumstances. Elio's playfulness makes it easy for Renée to navigate their intense content, and the two of them cover a lot of topics - sexuality, social anxiety, survival, schools...these are only a few. It's a juicy episode with an inspiring guest and no shortage of laughs, thanks to Elio's inexplicably lovely energy.

This episode starts with a few different bouts of uproarious laughter, and this definitely sets the tone for the episode. There is a lot of laughing, thanks to both our hilarious guest, Jenny, and also our inimitable guest co-host, Victoria. Jenny is beautifully colorful. Her stories are colorful, her language is colorful, her life is colorful. From selling cannabis cookies to medical students to selling real estate at the top of the field, she has put her impressive drive to good use. Renée does her best to keep Jenny's boundless energy on task, and eventually she finds the well of darkness underneath the laughter. Jenny has endured and witnessed some deeply disturbing things, and yet she has never been to therapy. A recent violent experience has reactivated her older, unresolved trauma, and, having stuffed the trauma away for years, she now finds herself struggling with rage and reactivity. She has come to the show hoping Renée can help. Renée does an in-depth analysis of Jenny's anger and maps out the steps she can take to find peace. This one starts out absurdly fun, travels through some intense pain, and comes back to laughter at the end. 

Kristin was kidnapped when she was 3 years old. Let's just start there. Unfortunately, it doesn't end there. In her 37 years of life, Kristin has endured almost every type of trauma one can imagine - attachment, sexual, medical, financial - and she has lived in over 40 different places, including prison. Her story would be hard to believe if Kristin weren't so beautifully honest and vulnerable as she narrates it. So while her story is tragic and shocking, Kristin herself is inspiring. And in between the tragic and shocking, her conversation with Renée also manages to be laugh-out-loud funny. Kristin comes to the show hoping Renée can answer one question: After having been hurt so many times in so many ways, how can she trust again? Renée gives Kristin an answer and a plan, and Kristin gives us a story you'll never forget.

Hey there, everyone. Renée here. As requested, I am back this week as the guest to take you on a wild ride through my romantic relationship history. Just a reminder that unlike our normal weekly episodes, those with me as the guest build on one another. So if you haven't yet listened to Episodes 60 and 67, go back and listen to those first - this one will make much more sense once you have. Likewise, if you're new to the podcast, don't start here! This isn't our normal format. As for the rest of you, well, you know the drill. This one comes to you with no preparation, no editing, and no shame. You've been warned. See you on the other side!

Yolanda grew up fearing two things, God and her mother, and she had the anxious, people-pleasing behavior to show for it! After losing her dad at 18, however, Yolanda ditched her "good girl" role for the first time. She has been back and forth ever since: between rules and rebellion, between partners, between versions of herself. Now in her 40's, Yolanda comes to the show to ask Renée, "How did I fall into this pattern again?" To get to an answer, Renée follows Yolanda through her relationship history - and it is a juicy rollercoaster of a narrative. Yolanda not only has a compelling story to tell, she's a captivating storyteller. By the end, Renée takes all the twists and turns and ups and downs and makes sense of them, much to Yolanda's surprise and delight. Ultimately, Yolanda has an answer to her question, and her rawness and charm mean everyone else has a great time on the way there.

When Kenny was in middle school, he participated in his first drive-by shooting. Not long after, he went to prison for the first time; ultimately he would serve 28 years. He was released 7 months ago and has come to the show to tell his story. Kenny and Renée talk about all of it - murder, Maslow, family, gangs, grief, and more. Despite the devastating trauma he unfolds, Kenny makes Renée laugh quite a bit. Renée captures the psychological strands and gets Kenny started on a healing path, while Kenny's honesty and intelligence make for a fascinating conversation.

"The more people that know, the better," Leanne told Renée after she narrated her devastating experiences as a patient in the Troubled Teen Industry, a network of therapeutic boarding schools and treatment centers that she first entered at 12 years old. This is the first time Leanne is telling her entire story; she only recently began telling it at all. And despite an understandable bout of stage fright beforehand, she not only tells her story but also delivers a gripping cautionary tale that exposes the web of corruption and greed at the heart of these systematically abusive "therapeutic" centers. Plus, she does all of this with a wisdom and fluency that belie her 19 years of age. Leanne came to the podcast to educate others, and also she came to ask Renée one critical question: "How do I move forward?"

By age 7, Jojo had already faced the very adult ideas of murder and self-loathing. Now in her early 20s, she is grounded, healing, and absolutely lovely. The story of how she arrived at said loveliness is fascinating, and lucky for us, she is here to tell it. She is here also to ask Renée why, after so much healing, she still struggles so desperately with confidence. They talk families, psychedelics, racism, and lateral violence before identifying the wound that keeps Jojo stuck and developing a plan to resolve it.

Vivian and her story are both so compelling that they defy summary. She is hilarious and engaging - and she has been through unthinkable trauma. Fortunately, she has a brilliant therapist and a seemingly bottomless well of resilience. What she doesn't have, however, is a way out of her current emotional predicament. She comes to the podcast hoping Renée has some advice to offer where this predicament is concerned. Guess what? Renée does. Vivian has questions, Renée has answers, and everyone does a lot of laughing.

Matt "had no idea" what he wanted or was expecting from being on the show, but he did know that he had a story to tell. He is 41 years old, funny, whip smart, stunningly resilient, and he has never been in a relationship or on a date. This will make sense when you hear what he has survived. Renée and Matt discuss the terrorizing abuse he endured at two different Catholic schools and the complicated path to his recoveries from both trauma and substance abuse. Due in large part to Matt's inspiring spirit, everyone does a lot of laughing -- including Ari, who is back as a guest cohost. Be prepared to be stunned by both Matt's story and his tenacity.  

Back by popular demand! Renée returns this week as the guest on her own show to follow up on Episode 60 and answer listener questions - this time, she traces the development and resolution of both her eating disorder and her chronic illness and explains how the two intersect. This is a raw, rogue, really Renée episode: no planning, no editing, no breaks, no outro - just a whole lot of content. Next week, we will return to our regularly scheduled guests and our finicky editing, But for now, Renée lets it rip. Enjoy!