Real World Peaceful Parenting

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Are you tired of yelling at your kids? Do you sometimes feel like they don’t listen or respect you? Do you feel like the worst parent EVER? You’re not alone, there is hope! Join Lisa Smith -- Mom, Master Certified Parent Coach, Author and Speaker -- as she helps turn frustrated parents -- who regularly default to yelling, threatening and punishing -- into peaceful leaders within their households. As a former dominant parent, she has found the path to Peaceful Parenting and is dedicated to helping other parents find their way too! But be warned, this is not a “foo-foo” podcast that’s going to tell you to let your kids do whatever they want without any rules or limitations. Each week Lisa will share the exact methods and step-by-step strategies she used to transform from an angry, controlling mom who was constantly upset with her son and husband, into a calm, confident, and connected leader in her home. To connect with Lisa visit https://thepeacefulparent.com/

Lisa Smith


    • Feb 26, 2025 LATEST EPISODE
    • weekly NEW EPISODES
    • 23m AVG DURATION
    • 218 EPISODES

    Ivy Insights

    The Real World Peaceful Parenting podcast hosted by Lisa Smith is an absolute gem for parents seeking guidance and support in raising their children in a peaceful and connected manner. With her fantastic energy and relatable anecdotes, Lisa provides practical and effective tools that can be implemented in everyday parenting situations. The podcast is easily accessible, with short and concise episodes that deliver valuable information with a human touch.

    One of the best aspects of this podcast is Lisa's ability to help parents build better connections with their children by diving deep into their feelings and needs. Through her "get curious not furious" approach, she encourages parents to understand the root causes of their child's behavior rather than simply reacting to it. This has been particularly helpful for parents with strong-willed children, as it allows them to go beyond surface-level behavior and foster cooperation and understanding.

    Lisa's down-to-earth style and relatability make this podcast extremely accessible to all types of parents. She provides practical techniques without judgment or righteousness, creating a safe space for listeners to learn and grow. Her episodes are packed with useful information presented concisely, making it easy for busy parents to implement the tips in their daily lives.

    While there aren't any apparent drawbacks to this podcast, it would be beneficial if there were more episodes dedicated specifically to certain topics or age groups. While the advice given is applicable across different ages, having more targeted episodes could cater to specific needs or challenges that parents face at different stages of parenthood.

    In conclusion, The Real World Peaceful Parenting podcast is an invaluable resource for any parent seeking guidance on building stronger connections with their children. Lisa Smith's insights and techniques have helped countless parents transform their parenting styles, leading to more peaceful households and happier families. Whether you have strong-willed children or simply want to improve your parenting skills, this podcast is a must-listen that will leave you equipped with practical tools and a fresh perspective on parenting.



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    Latest episodes from Real World Peaceful Parenting

    216: Breaking Free From the 'Good Kid, Bad Kid' Trap

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 26, 2025 16:49


    In this powerful episode of Real World Peaceful Parenting, Lisa Smith shares an inspiring story from one of her Hive community members, Sandy, who bravely reflected on her old parenting rules and the profound impact they had on her relationship with her daughter. Through honest self-awareness and a shift from rigid control to nurturing connection, Sandy transformed her family dynamic. Lisa walks us through how we, too, can reframe household rules to build trust, invite cooperation, and break intergenerational cycles. What You'll Learn: The Impact of Labels: How “good girl” and “bad girl” labels create lasting identities and affect your child's self-perception. From Control to Connection: Learn practical strategies to shift your parenting from managing behavior to guiding growth. Reframing Rules: How to transform household rules from rigid demands to invitations for cooperation and respect. The Power of Grace: Why giving yourself grace is crucial as you break old patterns and learn new parenting tools. Awareness as a Superpower: The magic that happens when you recognize your own inherited parenting patterns and make intentional changes. Actionable Homework: A guided exercise to assess your own parenting rules, identify hidden messages, and reframe them to build connection.

    215: Why Your Child Gets Defensive—And How to Change It

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 19, 2025 19:42


    Have you ever caught your child lying, sneaking treats, or getting defensive over a simple question? You're not alone! In this episode, Lisa dives into why kids become defensive, how their nervous system reacts to perceived threats, and what parents can do to break the cycle of power struggles. Instead of creating distance with frustration and criticism, Lisa shares practical strategies to build trust, encourage honesty, and foster open communication—without losing your authority. What You'll Learn: Why kids become defensive and how their nervous system reacts under pressure. How your emotional regulation as a parent sets the tone for honesty and connection. Key phrases that help kids feel safe enough to open up. The difference between reactive parenting vs. responding with curiosity. How to address tough situations (lying, sneaking, arguing) without triggering more defensiveness. A powerful mindset shift that will transform the way your kids respond to you.

    214: Is It Dangerous or Just Inconvenient? The Parenting Question That Changes Everything

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 12, 2025 18:58 Transcription Available


    Do you find yourself saying “no” all day long? Before Lisa discovered peaceful parenting, she was caught in the same cycle—until she came across one simple question that changed everything: Is it dangerous, or just inconvenient? In this episode, Lisa shares real-life examples of how shifting from automatic "no's" to thoughtful responses can help you build trust, foster cooperation, and create more opportunities for connection with your kids. Get ready to rethink your approach and start saying “yes” in a way that works for both you and your child! What You'll Learn: The difference between saying “no” for safety versus saying it out of convenience. How pausing before reacting can transform your relationship with your kids. Practical ways to set boundaries without shutting down your child's requests. Why thoughtful “yeses” help build responsibility and cooperation. How to shift from reacting with control to responding with connection. A simple two-part homework exercise to start changing your parenting approach today.

    213: Turning Down the Heat on Your Family's Emotional Temperature

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 5, 2025 17:07 Transcription Available


    Do you ever feel like your home's emotional temperature is boiling over? Whether it's a toddler meltdown, a sibling fight, or a teenager slamming their door, these heated moments can leave parents feeling frustrated, helpless, or reactive. In this episode, Lisa shares seven game-changing habits that will help you regulate your family's emotional climate, reduce yelling, and create a home where all emotions are welcomed and processed in a healthy way. Learn how to model calm responses, validate feelings, and teach your kids real-world emotional intelligence. This is your playbook for creating more peace and connection—starting today! What You'll Learn: How to recognize and regulate your child's emotional temperature before things escalate. Why co-regulation is the key to raising emotionally resilient kids. The 7 powerful habits that help families navigate big emotions without yelling. The neuroscience behind why kids struggle with self-regulation—and what parents can do to help. How to teach coping strategies, encourage problem-solving, and set limits without punishment. A simple action step to start improving emotional regulation in your home today.  

    212: The Parenting Tool I Learned from Tom Brady and The New England Patriots!

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 29, 2025 17:41 Transcription Available


    In this episode, Lisa shares the transformative power of front loading—a proven strategy to help parents and kids navigate challenging situations with calm and confidence. Through engaging stories, actionable examples, and real-world tips, Lisa shows how preparation can set the stage for smoother transitions and stronger connections. Learn how to stay cool under pressure, help your child build resilience, and set your family up for success in everyday moments and beyond. What You'll Learn: Why front loading is a game-changing strategy for avoiding stress and meltdowns. How front loading helps both parents and kids build confidence and capability. Real-world examples of front loading for common parenting challenges like bedtime, school mornings, and family gatherings. The neuroscience behind why dysregulated kids struggle to comply—and how preparation can help. How front loading reduces decision fatigue and helps parents stay calm and consistent. Three steps to start practicing front loading in your family today, including a powerful exercise to identify your family's top stress triggers.  

    211: Why Your Child CAN'T Listen (Even When They Want To)

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 22, 2025 15:30 Transcription Available


    In this eye-opening episode, Lisa Smith shares a powerful story from her own parenting journey that transformed how she understood children's behavior. Discover why your child's dysregulation isn't defiance but a result of their brain being overwhelmed. Lisa breaks down the science of dysregulation across different ages, explains the key signs to watch for, and provides actionable steps to move from chaos to connection. Whether your toddler is melting down or your teenager is slamming doors, this episode will give you the tools to handle these moments with compassion and confidence. What You'll Learn: Why dysregulation isn't about defiance but your child's brain being overwhelmed. How to recognize the early signs of dysregulation in toddlers, school-aged kids, and teenagers. The critical difference between correcting behavior and connecting with your child. Why traditional discipline methods often fail in moments of dysregulation. Two key steps to transform your reactions: noticing patterns and tracking your responses. How to begin helping your child regulate their emotions for better cooperation and trust.

    210: Breaking Patterns, Building Futures: Being the Parent Your Kids Need

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 15, 2025 15:43 Transcription Available


    In this heartfelt episode, Lisa Smith shares a transformative parenting moment that reshaped her approach forever. Reflecting on how children absorb and mirror our actions, Lisa reveals the profound influence parents have as their children's first teachers. With personal anecdotes and actionable insights, she guides listeners on how to model empathy, resilience, and emotional intelligence. Whether you're breaking generational patterns or building intentional habits, this episode is your roadmap to fostering deeper connections with your kids and shaping their future. What You'll Learn: Why you are your child's most influential teacher and what they absorb from you daily. How focusing on connection over correction leads to better emotional intelligence and resilience. The importance of modeling behaviors like empathy, self-regulation, and problem-solving. How to identify and break generational patterns you don't want to pass on. Why being intentional about your actions and words creates lasting positive impact. A simple three-step exercise to reflect on your parenting and set intentional goals.

    209: Start 2025 Strong: The Oxygen Mask Principle for Calm, Connected Parenting

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 8, 2025 20:58 Transcription Available


    In this special episode, Lisa Smith welcomes the new year by reflecting on the incredible progress made by parents in the Real World Peaceful Parenting community. Lisa shares inspiring stories of transformation, practical tips to stay regulated, and the powerful “Oxygen Mask Principle” that shifts how you parent – one small step at a time. If you've ever struggled with keeping parenting resolutions or felt drained by the day-to-day, this episode is the perfect guide to realigning with your peaceful parenting goals in 2025. What You'll Learn: How small, intentional shifts can transform your parenting (without needing grand resolutions). The “Oxygen Mask Principle” and why prioritizing your emotional well-being directly benefits your kids. Simple daily practices that help regulate your emotions and prevent burnout. How to create a Peaceful Parent Action Plan to handle the most draining parts of parenting. Why self-compassion and repair (not perfection) are the heart of peaceful parenting. The power of identifying your “parenting why” and how it grounds you during challenging moments.

    208: When a Storming Parent Meets a Storming Child: Choose Connection Over Chaos

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 1, 2025 11:53 Transcription Available


    In this episode of Real World Peaceful Parenting, Lisa Smith dives deep into the critical moments when a storming parent meets a storming child. Sharing relatable examples and practical strategies, Lisa shows you how to resist frustration, move past triggers, and get curious—not furious—when your child's behavior challenges you. Discover the magic of "scuba diving" to uncover the feelings and needs beneath the surface, transforming moments of disconnection into opportunities for deeper understanding and connection. What You'll Learn: Recognize Triggers and Respond Intentionally – Learn to take a deep breath, pause, and resist judgment when emotions run high. Get Curious, Not Furious – Replace reactive thoughts with curiosity to understand what's really going on beneath the surface. Scuba Dive, Don't Snorkel – Uncover the unmet feelings and needs that drive challenging behaviors like grunts, meltdowns, or withdrawal. Shift Perspective – Understand that big emotions often have nothing to do with you; they're your child's way of processing struggles. Play Detective – Ask powerful, connection-building questions like, “What's going on?” to create space for your child to share. Transform Storming Moments – Learn how choosing connection over reaction fosters trust, cooperation, and deeper parent-child bonds.

    207: 10 Truths to Transform Your Parenting: Your Peaceful Parenting Compass

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 25, 2024 25:10 Transcription Available


    In this special holiday episode of Real World Peaceful Parenting, Lisa Smith revisits one of the most impactful episodes: the 10 things she knows for sure about peaceful parenting. These tried-and-true truths serve as a compass for navigating the challenges of parenting with connection, empathy, and regulation—especially during the busy holiday season. Whether you're new to peaceful parenting or looking for a fresh perspective, this episode offers transformative insights to help you create meaningful connections and joyful memories with your kids. What You'll Learn: You Are Not Alone – Embrace the understanding that parenting challenges are shared, and support is always available. Progress, Not Perfection – Learn why striving for improvement rather than perfection leads to more impactful parenting. Connection Before Cooperation – Discover how creating a sense of being seen, heard, and valued fosters lasting cooperation. Mistakes as Process Problems – Shift your mindset to view mistakes as opportunities to refine processes, not reflections of character. Conflict as Growth – Recognize that conflict signals opportunities for learning and deeper connections. Scuba Dive into Feelings – Master the art of diving beneath surface behaviors to address the unmet feelings and needs that drive them.  

    206: Why Kids Don't Listen (Yet): A Peaceful Parenting Approach

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 18, 2024 18:10 Transcription Available


    In this episode of Real World Peaceful Parenting, Lisa Smith revisits one of the most transformative topics for parents: understanding why kids struggle to listen. Using Malcolm Gladwell's 10,000-Hour Rule, Lisa explains how kids are still building the skill of listening and offers tools to shift your parenting perspective. By replacing frustration with connection and understanding, you can create a more peaceful and joyful environment, especially during the holiday season. What You'll Learn: The Listening Learning Curve – Discover why listening is a skill your child is still developing and how to reframe your expectations. The 10,000-Hour Rule for Parenting – Learn how to apply the principle of deliberate practice to your child's growth and development. Shift Your Perspective – Gain insights on how to approach your child's struggles with empathy and patience. Building Connection – Understand the power of modeling calm, connection, and understanding to guide your child's emotional growth. Practical Tools for Parenting – Learn how to stay consistent with requests while fostering an environment of trust and growth. Holiday Support Opportunities – Get details on Lisa's free live coaching sessions to help navigate holiday parenting challenges.

    205: Pause, Breathe, Respond: Your Holiday Parenting Superpower

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 11, 2024 14:01 Transcription Available


    In this episode of Real World Peaceful Parenting, Lisa Smith shares the transformative power of self-regulation, especially during the holiday season. Using relatable stories and practical steps, Lisa teaches how to manage stress, model emotional intelligence, and create a calm, connected holiday atmosphere. Learn how every pause and deep breath is a lesson your kids will carry for life. What You'll Learn: Why Self-Regulation Matters – Understand how your ability to manage stress shapes your child's emotional intelligence and creates lasting holiday memories. Recognizing Triggers – Learn how to identify physical and emotional cues that signal stress and frustration before they escalate. The Pause Button – Discover how pausing and taking four deep breaths can reset your nervous system and prevent reactive parenting. Connection Before Correction – Explore how validating emotions and connecting with your child leads to better problem-solving and less holiday conflict. Practical Holiday Tools – Implement the “Trigger Tracker” and “Pause Practice” exercises to build your self-regulation muscle during busy times. Parenting as a Model – Recognize that your calm responses are teaching your children how to handle their own big feelings, now and for the future.

    204: The Calmest Gift: How To Be Your Child's Anchor This Holiday Season

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 4, 2024 16:54 Transcription Available


    In this episode of Real World Peaceful Parenting, Lisa Smith shares how to be the calm anchor your kids need during the holiday season. Learn how your nervous system affects your children's behavior and why your calm is the greatest gift you can give your family. Lisa explains practical strategies like the “Holiday Reset Ritual” and “Pause and Respond” to help you manage the unique challenges of the holidays—without yelling, threats, or stress. What You'll Learn: Understanding Co-Regulation – Learn how your child borrows your calm nervous system to manage their emotions, especially during the holidays. Pause and Respond – Discover how taking a moment to breathe and reset helps you model emotional regulation for your kids. The Impact of Calm – Understand how your calm presence shapes your child's brain for better emotional resilience. Handling Holiday Triggers – Identify common holiday stressors and how to track and manage your emotional responses effectively. Connection Before Correction – Discover why emotional connection with your child is the key to handling holiday meltdowns and sibling conflicts. Practical Tools for Calm – Use the “Holiday Anchor Breath” and other quick reset rituals to create a peaceful holiday experience for the whole family.

    203: From Fear to Cheer: Transform Your Holiday Parenting

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 27, 2024 13:03 Transcription Available


    Warning: today I'm going to present an idea that you may not want your kids to hear, so I recommend listening to this when you're away from your children.  The holiday season is upon us, and there are so many things about this season that I love; cozying up by the fire, watching football games, the general sense of the occasion and that it's a special time of year. But there is something that I don't love, and you might not even realize you're doing it. You might have heard of Elf on the Shelf, and you might even be using it as a way to make sure your kids behave during the holiday season. You know the drill – you tell your kids that if they misbehave, the elf will see everything and tell Santa not to bring them any presents. But there's a big issue with using the elf in this way, and I'm explaining my problem with it this week. In this episode, I'm sharing why using Elf on the Shelf as a tool to keep your kids behaving during the holidays is actually fear-based parenting. I'm showing you how to stop using Elf on the Shelf as a tool for punishment and instead start using it to connect with your kids, and some tips to help you move away from fear-based parenting during the holidays. What You'll Learn: What fear-based parenting is and why it's such a problem. How you might be applying fear-based parenting without realizing it. Some tips for using Elf on the Shelf as a tool for connection and cooperation with your kids. Why getting curious, not furious, is even more important at this time of year. How the holidays might bring extra emotions for your children and why you need to let them have them. Why threats and punishments are never the way to get your kids to behave. How to notice if you're using fear-based parenting around the holidays.  

    202: Why Family Values Are the Ultimate Parenting Tool

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 20, 2024 9:38 Transcription Available


    In this episode of Real World Peaceful Parenting, Lisa Smith delves into the transformative power of defining family values. Through relatable examples and personal stories, Lisa shares why family values are essential for creating a unified approach to parenting and fostering a sense of purpose and connection in your home. Discover how establishing clear, actionable values provides a lasting framework for decision-making and guides your kids toward developing their own internal compass. Plus, Lisa offers practical steps to start defining your family values tonight! What You'll Learn: Why Family Values Matter – Learn how family values create a guiding compass that everyone in the family can follow, making expectations clear and meaningful. Parenting with Purpose – Understand how values simplify decision-making and reduce conflicts by aligning with what truly matters to your family. Creating Consistent Guidelines – See how breaking down big values into daily actions can guide behavior and bring structure. Building Your Kids' Internal Compass – Discover how values help children build their own decision-making skills and self-discipline, even when you're not around. Getting Started with Family Values – Learn a simple exercise to define and outline your core family values tonight. Practical Examples from Lisa's Family – Hear about Lisa's own family values and how they've shaped her parenting journey, providing a real-world look at peaceful parenting in action.

    201: Get Curious, Not Furious: Understanding Your Child's Anger

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 13, 2024 16:26 Transcription Available


    In this episode of Real World Peaceful Parenting, Lisa Smith addresses the common challenges parents face when dealing with their children's big emotions, especially anger. Building on last week's theme of diving below the surface, Lisa shares five practical scenarios that parents encounter daily, each illustrating how to respond with empathy and understanding. Lisa also provides actionable phrases to help parents get curious, not furious, enabling deeper connection and calmer communication with their children. This episode empowers parents with a toolkit for navigating tough emotional moments, guiding both parent and child toward a more peaceful relationship. What You'll Learn: The Power of Connection Phrases – Learn specific phrases to help your child feel understood and calm in emotionally charged moments. “Pause and Probe” Technique – Discover how to pause, breathe, and explore what emotions might be under the surface of your child's behavior. Real-Life Scenarios – Five common parenting challenges with step-by-step responses to foster empathy and avoid escalation. Understanding the “Iceberg of Behavior” – Why what's visible (like anger) is often only a small part of what your child is experiencing emotionally. Building Emotional Intelligence Together – How practicing empathy and understanding fosters emotional growth for both you and your child. Practical Tools for Real-Life Parenting – Techniques for shifting from reaction to understanding, helping to create a calmer, more cooperative household.

    200: Understanding The Hidden Pain Behind Your Kid's Anger

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 6, 2024 14:20 Transcription Available


    In this episode of Real World Peaceful Parenting, Lisa Smith explores a transformative approach to handling anger in parenting. Guided by Eckhart Tolle's wisdom, “Where there is anger, there is always pain underneath,” Lisa explains how to look beyond the surface of your child's outbursts to understand the vulnerable emotions hidden below. With real-life stories and actionable insights, Lisa shares how getting “curious, not furious” can create breakthroughs in connection and emotional growth for you and your child. What You'll Learn: The "Curious, Not Furious" Approach – Learn how adopting this mindset can uncover your child's true feelings behind their anger. The Iceberg Model of Anger – Discover why anger is only the tip of the iceberg and how diving deeper reveals vulnerable emotions. Practical Techniques for Emotional Connection – Explore actionable strategies to identify and validate your child's emotions. Real-World Examples of Compassionate Parenting – Hear relatable stories of parents navigating anger to build stronger bonds. Self-Reflection Practices for Parents – Understand your own reactions to anger and what underlying emotions you might be shielding. Building Emotional Intelligence in Children – Help your child develop emotional resilience by teaching them to manage and communicate their feelings.  

    199: The ABC's of Co-Regulation

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 30, 2024 20:30 Transcription Available


    In this episode of Real World Peaceful Parenting, Lisa Smith breaks down seven essential co-regulation techniques that every parent should know. By incorporating these strategies into your daily interactions, you can help your child manage their emotions, foster emotional intelligence, and create a stronger bond between you and your child. From empathy to shared breathing exercises, Lisa provides practical tools for navigating those challenging parenting moments with calm and connection. What You'll Learn: What co-regulation is and why it's a powerful tool for helping children manage emotions. How to use empathy and active listening to create emotional connection and calm during tough moments. The power of shared breathing exercises to reduce stress for both parent and child and align emotional states. Why validating your child's feelings without judgment is crucial for building trust and emotional openness. The importance of modeling self-regulation so your child learns how to handle emotions effectively by watching you. How holding space for your child's emotions helps them feel seen and supported without needing to fix or change their feelings.

    198: Parenting with EQ: How Emotional Intelligence Transforms Your Family

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 23, 2024 14:27 Transcription Available


    In this episode of Real World Peaceful Parenting, Lisa Smith dives deep into the power of emotional intelligence and how it can revolutionize your parenting approach. Learn the core components of emotional intelligence—self-awareness, self-regulation, empathy, and more—and discover actionable steps you can take to create a connected and cooperative home environment. Whether your child is a toddler or a teen, this episode provides the tools to help you foster emotional intelligence in both yourself and your children for a lifetime of resilience and healthy relationships. What You'll Learn: What emotional intelligence is and why it is crucial for peaceful parenting. How to model self-awareness and emotional regulation for your children. Practical strategies to create a safe space for kids to express their feelings. The importance of empathy and how to validate your child's emotions without judgment. How to use storytelling and perspective-taking to teach emotional intelligence to kids. Key behaviors emotionally intelligent parents practice to foster strong connections and emotional resilience in their families.  

    197: Raising Emotionally Intelligent Kids: Tools for Real-World Families

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 16, 2024 14:24 Transcription Available


    In this episode of Real World Peaceful Parenting, Lisa Smith dives deep into the transformative power of emotional intelligence in parenting. Learn how to recognize, understand, and manage both your emotions and your child's, creating a home environment built on connection and growth. Lisa shares practical strategies to build emotional intelligence for yourself and your children, with real-life examples and actionable tips to start using today. What You'll Learn: What emotional intelligence in parenting really means and why it's essential. The five core components of emotional intelligence: self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills. Practical ways to model emotional awareness and regulation for your children. How to teach your kids empathy, open communication, and emotional resilience. The importance of self-care for parents in maintaining emotional intelligence. Specific tools like emotional coaching and mindfulness practices to start using today.  

    196: From Chaos to Comedy: Parenting Advice with a Twist from ABC Parenting

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 9, 2024 47:43 Transcription Available


    In this special episode, Lisa Smith welcomes Stephanie Drake and Arthur Meyer, the comedic masterminds behind the hit web series ABC Parenting. They dive into the power of humor in parenting, how to connect with kids through laughter, and why it's okay to laugh at the chaos of parenthood. Whether you're dealing with everyday challenges or just need a fresh perspective, this episode will leave you smiling and ready to embrace the joy (and humor) of raising kids. What You'll Learn: Why humor is a powerful tool for emotional connection with your children. How laughter can help you navigate tough parenting moments and create stronger bonds. The importance of balancing humor with boundaries and discipline. Real-world examples of using humor to diffuse difficult situations, from bedtime struggles to meltdowns in public. The significance of self-regulation as a parent and how humor can keep you grounded. Why it's essential for parents to laugh at themselves and not take everything too seriously in their parenting journey.  

    195: Reactive Anger as a Signal: How to Guide Your Child Through Big Emotions

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 2, 2024 16:14 Transcription Available


    In this episode of Real World Peaceful Parenting, Lisa Smith dives into the complexities of reactive anger in children. Joined by Hive member Dina, Lisa coaches her through the challenges of helping her 9-year-old daughter navigate intense outbursts of frustration and anger. Learn how to go beneath the surface of anger to uncover and address the deeper emotions at play. This episode is packed with actionable insights for fostering emotional resilience and empathy, ensuring your child feels seen, heard, and supported in moments of emotional turbulence. What You'll Learn: The underlying emotions behind reactive anger and how to help your child recognize them. How to hold space for your child's emotions, allowing them to feel safe expressing their frustration and disappointment. Practical steps for moving beyond reactive anger, guiding your child to articulate their deeper feelings. Why empathy and validation are powerful tools in building emotional intelligence and resilience in children. How everyday disappointments can trigger larger emotional storms and how to guide your child through these moments. The importance of helping children tolerate life's frustrations without turning to anger, leading to long-term emotional growth.  

    194: Flipping the Script: Real Parenting Questions with Lisa Smith

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 25, 2024 60:59 Transcription Available


    In this special episode of Real World Peaceful Parenting, Lisa Smith hands over the reins to Hive member Neil, who interviews her with real-life parenting questions. Covering everything from handling money conversations with kids to how peaceful parenting principles apply to pets, this "Ask Me Anything" episode offers deep insights and practical advice for parents looking to transform their relationships with their children. Whether you're a Hive member or a first-time listener, this episode is packed with valuable lessons that can help you become a more peaceful, present, and connected parent. What You'll Learn: How to handle big decisions like whether to have another child using a process that reduces anxiety and stress. The key differences between peaceful, dominant, and permissive parenting and why setting rules helps kids feel safe and secure. How to apply peaceful parenting techniques to pets, ensuring consistency in how you show up as a leader. The importance of healing your own childhood wounds and how it affects the way you parent. How peaceful parenting impacts all relationships, not just the one with your kids, but with your partner, colleagues, and friends too. Lisa's personal influences and top book recommendations, from Victor Frankel to Byron Katie, that shape her coaching style and philosophy.  

    193: The Magic of Holding Space: Transforming Your Child's Emotional World (Part 2)

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 18, 2024 23:31 Transcription Available


    In this part two of The Magic of Holding Space, Lisa Smith dives deeper into the transformative power of holding space for your children's big emotions. She provides a step-by-step guide to help parents create a supportive, non-judgmental environment where kids feel safe to express their feelings without fear of judgment or dismissal. Lisa shares eight actionable steps to help parents build connection, foster emotional intelligence, and encourage resilience in their kids, all while maintaining boundaries and staying calm in the heat of the moment. What You'll Learn: The 8 essential steps to holding space for your kids, including listening attentively and providing nonjudgmental support. How to stay calm and present during your child's emotional storms without rushing to fix their problems. The importance of accepting all emotions and allowing your child to express big, messy feelings safely. Real-life examples of parents successfully applying these steps to foster emotional resilience in their kids. How holding space builds trust, strengthens relationships, and teaches kids emotional regulation. Practical self-care techniques to stay grounded and calm while navigating your child's emotional outbursts.

    192: The Magic of Holding Space: Transforming Your Child's Emotional World (Part 1)

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 11, 2024 17:55 Transcription Available


    In this episode of Real World Peaceful Parenting, Lisa Smith delves into the concept of holding space, a powerful parenting tool that fosters emotional safety, trust, and connection between parents and children. Lisa explains how holding space allows kids to process their emotions without judgment or dismissal, building their self-esteem and teaching them to trust their feelings. With personal stories, practical tips, and insight into why holding space is essential, this episode equips parents with actionable tools to create a supportive emotional environment for their children. What You'll Learn: What it means to "hold space" for your child and why it's essential for emotional development. How holding space builds trust and strengthens the parent-child relationship. Practical techniques for staying calm and present during your child's big emotions. How to label feelings and encourage emotional intelligence in your kids. The impact of breaking generational cycles of dismissing or fixing emotions, creating a new path for your family. Why it's okay to get it wrong and how progress, not perfection, is the goal in learning to hold space.

    191: 5 Ways Your Thoughts Are Sabotaging Your Parenting

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 4, 2024 22:52 Transcription Available


    In this episode of Real World Peaceful Parenting, Lisa Smith dives into the transformative power of parental energy and how the thoughts we allow to "rent space" in our minds directly shape our interactions with our children. Discover how your thoughts create feelings, which in turn lead to actions, and learn practical strategies to shift your energy to create a more peaceful and cooperative household. Lisa shares her personal experiences and provides actionable steps to help you harness your energy and transform your parenting approach. What You'll Learn: The impact of parental energy on the family dynamic and how it sets the tone for your household. How to recognize and reframe negative thoughts that affect your parenting. The domino effect: how thoughts lead to feelings, and feelings lead to actions. Practical strategies for shifting from negative to positive energy, including gratitude and affirmations. Real-life examples of how changing your thoughts can transform challenging parenting situations. Tips for setting daily energy intentions and conducting energy check-ins to maintain a positive parenting mindset.

    190. The After-School Meltdown Rollercoaster: Buckle Up, Parents!

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 28, 2024 17:29 Transcription Available


    In this episode of Real World Peaceful Parenting, we're exploring the common but challenging experience of after-school meltdowns. My goal is to offer a fresh perspective on these emotional outbursts, and encourage parents to see them as a compliment to their safe and supportive parenting. I'll share practical tips to help you navigate these tough moments with calm and compassion, turning the chaos into an opportunity for connection and growth. By understanding the emotional "backpacks" that children carry and providing a safe space for them to unpack, parents can strengthen their bond with their kids and foster emotional resilience. What You'll Learn: How to shift your perspective on after-school meltdowns and view them as a compliment to your parenting Effective strategies to manage your own emotions and stay calm during your child's post-school outbursts The importance of not taking your child's behavior personally and recognizing that it's about their experience, not your parenting Practical tips to create a consistent after-school routine that supports your child's emotional needs How to become a safe space for your child to unpack their emotional "backpack" and strengthen your bond  

    189. Calm in the Storm: How Co-Regulation Can Strengthen Your Bond With Your Kid(s)

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 21, 2024 25:11 Transcription Available


    In this episode of Real World Peaceful Parenting, we're exploring the transformative concept of co-regulation and its vital role in creating a peaceful, connected family environment. I'm diving into the science and practical applications of co-regulation by sharing personal stories and client examples to illustrate how parents can use their calm presence to help their children navigate big emotions. Whether you're dealing with toddler tantrums or supporting a stressed college student, co-regulation offers a path to deeper connection and emotional resilience. By learning to regulate your own emotions, you can model this essential skill for your children, fostering a secure and supportive family dynamic. What You'll Learn: What co-regulation is and why it's crucial for emotional development How co-regulation starts from infancy and continues through adulthood Practical tips for self-regulation as a parent to better support your child The long-term benefits of modeling co-regulation for your children How to recognize and address your own emotional triggers in parenting Real-life examples of co-regulation in action and its impact on family dynamics

    188. Conflict Resolution Made Easy

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 14, 2024 44:09 Transcription Available


    In this episode of Real World Peaceful Parenting, I'm getting into a hot topic that affects many of us as parents: conflict management. Joined by special guest and mother of two, Kris, we explore strategies for managing conflicts between ourselves and our children, as well as tools to help teach our kids how to handle conflicts on their own. I introduce a powerful framework called Empowered Conversations, designed to help both parents and children approach conflicts with confidence and clarity. By the end of this episode, you'll have concrete tools to transform conflicts into opportunities for growth and connection within your family. What You'll Learn: How to reframe conflict as an opportunity for growth rather than a battle to be won The importance of understanding your feelings and what you want before addressing a conflict Techniques to avoid catastrophizing and presuming the other person's thoughts or feelings The role of reflective listening in resolving conflicts and improving communication Steps to implement the Empowered Conversations framework in your family interactions How to model healthy conflict resolution for your children Real-life examples of using these strategies to handle common conflicts at different stages of parenting  

    187. From Catastrophe to Calm: A Parent's Guide

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 7, 2024 16:29 Transcription Available


    In this episode of Real World Peaceful Parenting, I dive into a topic that affects many parents: catastrophizing. I'll explain what catastrophizing is, how it impacts your parenting, and most importantly, how to overcome it. By learning to manage our thoughts and emotions, we can respond to our children with calmness and clarity instead of fear and anxiety.  Join me as I share personal stories, practical strategies, and tips to break the habit of catastrophizing in order to create a more peaceful and balanced approach to parenting. In this episode, you will learn: The definition and impact of catastrophizing, and how it relates to parenting How to recognize when you're catastrophizing so you can resist the urge The importance of staying present and focusing on the current moment Techniques to challenge and reframe catastrophic thoughts Coping skills to manage catastrophizing, including mindfulness and deep breathing Real-life examples of how catastrophizing manifests at different stages of parenting and how to address it  

    186. Transform Your Parenting with Three Magic Words

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 31, 2024 15:09 Transcription Available


    In this episode of Real World Peaceful Parenting, I introduce a game-changing tool for parents: the simple phrase, "Tell me more." As a 16-year master certified parenting coach, I've seen firsthand how this powerful phrase can transform your interactions with your children, encouraging them to share their thoughts and feelings more openly. By using these three magic words, you can foster deeper connections, enhance communication, and create a safe space for your children to express themselves. Tune in to discover practical scenarios, tips for implementation, and the profound psychological benefits of this approach!   In this episode, you will learn:   How the phrase "Tell me more" signals genuine interest and validation to your child Practical scenarios for using "Tell me more" in everyday parenting situations The psychological impact of feeling heard and understood, including the release of oxytocin Tips for staying calm, avoiding judgment, and using active listening when employing this tool How "Tell me more" can strengthen relationships beyond parenting, including with partners, friends, and colleagues Real-life success stories from parents who have used this approach to improve their relationships with their children

    Ep #185: Tiny Tweaks, Huge Transformations: Peaceful Parenting On the Go

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 24, 2024 18:40


    Summer is here, and for many of you, that means travel planning. I know firsthand that vacationing with kids can feel like navigating a stormy sea. Last summer, my son Malcolm and I embarked on a London adventure before he left for college, and while this trip was by no means perfect, it highlighted how powerful trusting in the peaceful parenting process can be.    Join me on this episode as I share some of the most valuable lessons I learned on this trip, from the importance of undivided attention to revealing your true self to your kids.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://thepeacefulparent.com/185

    Ep #184: The Secret to Calming Down Your Kids In Any Situation

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 17, 2024 16:08


    How often do you find yourself trying to reason with your kids when they're upset? Why does it never work, and in fact, usually seems to make the storming worse? That's because only after you've made an emotional connection with your kids that you can guide them with logic and reasoning.    Join me this week to learn why the Connect THEN Redirect tool is a complete game-changer for your parenting. You'll hear why the simple act of acknowledging your kids' feelings first makes a huge difference, and how practicing this tool helps you become the peaceful parent you want to be.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://thepeacefulparent.com/184

    Ep #183: Transform Your Family with the New Respect Revolution!

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 10, 2024 14:13


    Have you ever thought or said to your kids, “You're so disrespectful?” I'll admit that this was my go-to script before I found peaceful parenting.   The reality is that it's dysregulating to believe that your children are being disrespectful intentionally. Listen in this week to hear how our understanding of respect has evolved over the years, and how to cultivate true respect: the kind where everyone feels seen, heard, and valued.    Get full show notes and more information here: https://thepeacefulparent.com/183

    182. Unlock the Secret to Managing Your Child's Big Emotions—It's Easier Than You Think!

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 3, 2024 15:49


    If you're locked into the thought that your child is being manipulative, disrespectful, or deliberately uncooperative when they're storming, you're not alone. As parents, we want to make our children's big feelings go away, but the truth is, all emotions must be experienced. This week, I'm showing you how to be a safe space for them during this turbulent process.    Join me as I share effective ways to respond to and manage your child's intense emotions, why your child isn't trying to give you a hard time, even though it might seem that way, and my top tips for dealing with their storms while fostering connection and cooperation.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://thepeacefulparent.com/182

    181. Stop the Cycle: How to Disrupt Unhealthy Patterns in Your Family

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 26, 2024 13:23


    What do you do when you recognize behavioral patterns in your family that you don't want to pass down to your children? You must become a cycle-breaker. Listen in this week to learn how cycle breaking disrupts your genetic imprint and starts the healing process within your family.   I'm showing you what happens when you begin to change dysfunctional behaviors, four new tools that will support you in your cycle-breaking journey, and how this work allows you to intentionally point your family in the direction you want to take them.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://thepeacefulparent.com/181  

    180. Discover Your Parenting Village: Transform Chaos into Calm

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 19, 2024 13:37


    We show up best for our kids when we have support ourselves. Do you have a support system that helps you thrive as a parent? If you're still searching for your village, I'm sending you a personal invitation to join mine: The Hive.   Tune in this week to learn how The Hive can become a space where you can celebrate your successes, feel seen and heard, and experience love and support from like-minded parents. I'm showing you why having a parenting community by your side is the secret to quicker, stronger, and more permanent transformations.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://thepeacefulparent.com/180

    179. The Truth About How Your Words Affect Your Child's Future

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 12, 2024 13:39


    The words we speak to our children play a critical role in shaping their internal voice: their self-esteem, their self-confidence, and their self-perception as a whole. Have you ever stopped to consider the impact your words are having?   Tune in this week to discover the power of your words, and how to start speaking positively to your children in a way that fosters confidence and resilience. You'll learn how children internalize harsh words, and how to instead speak to your children in a way that sets them up for success as they get older.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://thepeacefulparent.com/179

    178. Stop Losing Your Cool: How to Tame Your Triggers as a Parent

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 5, 2024 20:05


    As parents, we become experts in our child's triggers, but what about our own? The reality is that our triggers can often ignite our children's, which can lead to the both of us storming alongside each other.   If you're often left wondering what to do when you sense a storm brewing, join me this week to discover how to turn down the parental pressure cooker and build a more peaceful, connected family life. We'll explore the importance of recognizing the conditions that make you most likely to lose your cool and practical steps to stay regulated in the moment.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://thepeacefulparent.com/178

    177. The Self-Regulation Tool All Parents Need: Connect Then Redirect

    Play Episode Listen Later May 29, 2024 18:51


    Offering your child connection, empathy, compassion, and understanding while they're upset isn't an innate trait we're born with. It's a learned skill. That's why, on this episode, you'll learn one of the most essential tools in self-regulation: I call it "connect then redirect."   Tune in to learn the importance of emotionally connecting with your child before redirecting them with logic and reasoning. You'll hear why this is an essential aspect of modeling self-regulation for your children, what's required of you to stay calm and composed when your child is storming, and six ideas for bringing emotional maturity into your parenting.    Get full show notes and more information here: https://thepeacefulparent.com/177

    176. Want Calm Kids? Co-Regulation is the Answer

    Play Episode Listen Later May 22, 2024 20:40


    Practicing self-regulation is challenging, even for the most self-aware adults, but it's what will ultimately enable you to offer co-regulation to your children. Co-regulation is the underbelly of peaceful parenting and the greatest gift you can offer your kids, and in this episode,  you'll learn why.   Discover the importance of co-regulation in your journey toward peaceful parenting. I'm showing you what it means to pause and respond in the face of challenging behaviors, why offering co-regulation is one of your most important jobs as a parent and a five-step process for cultivating calmness in the midst of chaos.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://thepeacefulparent.com/176

    175. Resentment: The Secret Poison in Relationships

    Play Episode Listen Later May 15, 2024 19:06


    Resentment is a complex mix of emotions and it can poison our minds and relationships when left unchecked. As a parent, it can be difficult to know what to do with it when you see it show up. This week, I'm exploring how to let go of resentment, and how we can model the power of releasing grudges and embracing inner peace for our kids.   Listen in to learn my four-step process for releasing resentment. To help you better understand the complexities of resentment and its impact, I'm sharing two real-life scenarios of how resentment can show up, and how you can begin modeling harmony and peace instead.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://thepeacefulparent.com/175

    174. Become the Parent Your Child Wants to Turn To

    Play Episode Listen Later May 8, 2024 14:00


    Trust is the cornerstone of a strong parent-child bond, but it doesn't just naturally happen. One amazing way you can lay the groundwork for lifelong trust is by cultivating compassion, but how do you go about doing it?   If you want your kids to turn to you during times of mistakes, stress, crisis, and disappointment, this episode is for you. You'll learn how to build a foundation of trust now by showing your child compassion and being a safe place for their big, uncomfortable emotions.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://thepeacefulparent.com/174

    173. How to End the Cycle of Yelling at Your Kids

    Play Episode Listen Later May 1, 2024 17:25


    In a world filled with hectic schedules and constant demands, you're not alone if you experience the temptation to yell at your kids. You don't want to, but yelling, threatening, and increasing punishments feels like the only way to get them to comply. The good news is I have three simple steps that will help you break the cycle of yelling, and I'm sharing them with you today.   If you're ready to say goodbye to yelling and hello to a more peaceful parenting journey, listen in this week. I'm showing you why yelling never works, how to create a partnership with your children, rather than resorting to commanding and controlling them, and the three steps that will help you stop yelling at your kids for good.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://thepeacefulparent.com/173

    172. How to Listen to Your Children So It Makes a Difference

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 24, 2024 14:37


    I was recently reminded of one of the most profoundly powerful parenting tools available to us: compassionate listening. Deep, compassionate listening is what allows your children to communicate their feelings, talk about their pain, and explore ideas. What would it be like to know you are the person who helps them do this? Join me this week to learn why practicing compassionate listening leads to deep connection with your children. As a bonus, this also works with your spouse, co-parent, coworker, or friends, and the best part is it's surprisingly easy to begin implementing into your everyday life.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://thepeacefulparent.com/172

    171. When You and Your Kids Don't Agree: How to Stay Connected & Honor Their Autonomy

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 17, 2024 21:40


    As parents, we're attached to the expectation that our kids will have the same convictions and beliefs that we have. But as they grow up, they might choose a lifestyle, religion, or ideology that differs from the one we've modeled for them. Many of us struggle to hold space for this possibility, and it can leave us dysregulated or tempted to withdraw.   Join me this week as I show you how to navigate differences in beliefs and values between you and your children. You'll learn the power of agreeing to disagree and how to foster deep connection with your kids, even when your opinions deviate.    Get full show notes and more information here: https://thepeacefulparent.com/170

    170. From Power Struggle to Peaceful Parenting: A Follow-Up Conversation with Valeria

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 10, 2024 27:40


    A few weeks ago on the podcast, I shared an amazing coaching conversation with my client Valeria, where we talked about navigating fear and anger in parenting, setting limits, and connecting before correcting. Since that conversation, Valeria has told me she's experienced a massive transformation in her parenting, so I wanted to have her back to discuss it.    This week, Valeria is sharing the game-changing skills she's learned that have changed her household dynamic from power struggle to peace and calm. You'll hear how modeling emotional regulation is a long-term investment in connecting with your kids, why our children need rules delivered with discipline, not punishment, and how powerful it can be to intentionally practice tolerating uncomfortable emotions.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://thepeacefulparent.com/170

    169. The First Step in Real World Peaceful Parenting

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 3, 2024 28:54


    Like so many parents, you might believe being reactionary in response to a power struggle or disagreement is hardwired into you. Maybe it's how you've always operated, or it was modeled in your home growing up. But what if it didn't have to be that way? What if, even in the midst of a storm, you could learn to pause and respond thoughtfully rather than react out of dysregulation?   Join me and a panel of Hive members – Kate, Tina, and Neil – as we explore the art of pausing and responding. You'll learn how the skill of pausing and responding creates a deep connection with your kids, and what it really looks like behind the scenes to learn and practice it.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://thepeacefulparent.com/169

    168. When Different Coparenting Styles Collide

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 27, 2024 21:51


    One of the most common challenges that coparents face is figuring out what to do when you and your coparent aren't on the same page. I recently had a coaching call with a couple with very different parenting styles and I'm sharing the breakthroughs that came out of our conversation on this episode.   Listen in to hear how your childhood wounds might be colliding with your coparent, why those wounds can cause you to become dysregulated, and how to build awareness around where you might be projecting your wounds, experiences, and perceptions in a way that isn't helpful.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://thepeacefulparent.com/168

    167. Limits and Rules: Why They Matter and How to Peacefully Enforce Them

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 20, 2024 22:20


    I'm always reminding parents of how rules and limits help our children to thrive and feel empowered, but what do you do when it comes to actually enforcing the rules you've set? If you have strong-willed kids, find yourself losing confidence, or struggle to enforce consequences consistently with firmness, this episode is for you.   You'll learn my top seven strategies for enforcing limits that peacefully stick, the importance of setting rules while you're calm and rational, and how to guide your children toward responsible behavior while respecting their autonomy.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://thepeacefulparent.com/167

    166. How to Foster Healthy Use of Technology with Forest Bronzan

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 13, 2024 40:57


    Our kids are going to be using technology much earlier and more frequently than we ever did. This isn't all bad, but navigating the world of technology is uncharted territory for many parents. I've got the perfect expert on the show this week to share his wisdom with us.   Forest Bronzan is the founder and CEO of Camplight, a membership for parents raising kids in a world shaped by technology. In this episode, Forest and I explore what parents often get wrong when it comes to our children using technology, how to set limits, and the importance of reflecting on the behaviors you're currently modeling for your kids.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://thepeacefulparent.com/166

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