Podcasts about victor frankel

Jenny Taitz (Stress Resets, How to Be Single and Happy) is a licensed clinical psychologist, best-selling author, and assistant clinical professor in psychiatry at UCLA. Jenny joins the Armchair Expert to discuss the initial modalities that inspired her to become a psychologist, turning knots in our stomach into bows, and tells a true tragedy of spilt milk that drives her therapeutic practices. Jenny and Dax talk about the most effective formula for saying no, how we can manage our emotions by noticing how we co-create them, and why singing your anxieties to the tune of “Do You Believe in Magic” is a great mind reset. Jenny explains how stress can actually be an incredibly useful tool, how to turn Dax and Monica into world-class ex-ruminators, and her goal to widen the space Victor Frankel suggests in "Man's Search for Meaning."Follow Armchair Expert on the Wondery App or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch new content on YouTube or listen to Armchair Expert early and ad-free by joining Wondery+ in the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts, or Spotify. Start your free trial by visiting wondery.com/links/armchair-expert-with-dax-shepard/ now.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of Unstoppable Mindset we meet and get to talk with Dr. Christine Balarezo. While Christine was born in Peru much of her youth was spent in California and then Connecticut. During her life she has secured various college degrees including a Ph.D. in Political Science from the University of North Texas. She spent ten years working in the field of human trafficking. Later she worked briefly for a nonprofit organization.   Christine was never fully satisfied with both working for other organizations and for working in academia. After her time with a nonprofit she decided to go out on her own. What she realized she was being directed by her inner self to do was to take up the job of more directly helping others. Christine became a spiritual coach and healer. Today as she explains she “helps creative sensitives reconnect to their true soul being by using her intuitive and psychic gifts with practical, multi- and interdisciplinary transcultural knowledge so they can fully shine their light”.   Our conversation touches on many topics including the concepts of spiritual healing, psychic intuition and some of the fears and prejudices around these concepts. I hope you enjoy what Christine has to say. One thread I find both with this conversation as with so many we have had on Unstoppable Mindset is that we all should learn to be more open and curious to things we may not fully understand or embrace.       About the Guest:   Dr. Christine Balarezo is Founder of Christine Balarezo, which offers multidimensional spirituality services for clients around the world. She is an Intuitive Spiritual Coach, Energy Healer, Intuitive Astrologer, and Educator. She helps creative sensitives reconnect to their true soul being by using her intuitive and psychic gifts with practical, multi- and interdisciplinary transcultural knowledge so they can fully shine their light. Christine loves working with diverse groups of people especially those with multidimensional identities and/or overlapping intersectionalities, neurodivergents, HSPs, BIPOC, single parents, immigrants, witches and healers. In a past life, she was a human trafficking scholar with ten years of experience in the field, and with expertise in mixed-methods trafficking and policy research. Christine began her career in academia serving as an Adjunct Professor of Political Science, and a Fulbright Postdoctoral Research Scholar, where she conducted fieldwork across Israel on its human trafficking policy. She also had a brief stint in the nonprofit world supporting national anti-trafficking efforts. As a multicultural Latina and single mother, she is also passionate about mentoring and continues working with vulnerable populations within the mental health, metaphysical, and higher education fields. Christine received her Ph.D. in Political Science from the University of North Texas, and her M.A. in Political Science from the University of South Florida. Christine's goal is to provide practical yet cosmic guidance - balancing the scales, that is - so people can live a life that is true to them and their heart. When she's not helping others or talking about energy, she loves traveling and exploring new places, cooking Peruvian and Asian food, spending time with her college son, walking their two dachshunds, and finding new books to read at the library.   Ways to connect with Dr. Christine:   Email: christine@christinebalarezo.com Join My Newsletter: https://sendfox.com/christinebalarezo Grab a Virtual Coffee & Let's Chat: https://tidycal.com/christinebalarezo/cafecito-connection-chat Website: https://christinebalarezo.com LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/christinebalarezo46/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/ChristineBalarezo Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/christinebalarezo       About the Host:   Michael Hingson is a New York Times best-selling author, international lecturer, and Chief Vision Officer for accessiBe. Michael, blind since birth, survived the 9/11 attacks with the help of his guide dog Roselle. This story is the subject of his best-selling book, Thunder Dog.   Michael gives over 100 presentations around the world each year speaking to influential groups such as Exxon Mobile, AT&T, Federal Express, Scripps College, Rutgers University, Children's Hospital, and the American Red Cross just to name a few. He is Ambassador for the National Braille Literacy Campaign for the National Federation of the Blind and also serves as Ambassador for the American Humane Association's 2012 Hero Dog Awards.   https://michaelhingson.com https://www.facebook.com/michael.hingson.author.speaker/ https://twitter.com/mhingson https://www.youtube.com/user/mhingson https://www.linkedin.com/in/michaelhingson/   accessiBe Links https://accessibe.com/ https://www.youtube.com/c/accessiBe https://www.linkedin.com/company/accessibe/mycompany/   https://www.facebook.com/accessibe/       Thanks for listening!   Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it using the social media buttons on this page. Do you have some feedback or questions about this episode? Leave a comment in the section below!   Subscribe to the podcast   If you would like to get automatic updates of new podcast episodes, you can subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts or Stitcher. You can subscribe in your favorite podcast app. You can also support our podcast through our tip jar https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/unstoppable-mindset .   Leave us an Apple Podcasts review   Ratings and reviews from our listeners are extremely valuable to us and greatly appreciated. They help our podcast rank higher on Apple Podcasts, which exposes our show to more awesome listeners like you. If you have a minute, please leave an honest review on Apple Podcasts.       Transcription Notes:   Michael Hingson ** 00:00 Access Cast and accessiBe Initiative presents Unstoppable Mindset. The podcast where inclusion, diversity and the unexpected meet. Hi, I'm Michael Hingson, Chief Vision Officer for accessiBe and the author of the number one New York Times bestselling book, Thunder dog, the story of a blind man, his guide dog and the triumph of trust. Thanks for joining me on my podcast as we explore our own blinding fears of inclusion unacceptance and our resistance to change. We will discover the idea that no matter the situation, or the people we encounter, our own fears, and prejudices often are our strongest barriers to moving forward. The unstoppable mindset podcast is sponsored by accessiBe, that's a c c e s s i capital B e. Visit www.accessibe.com to learn how you can make your website accessible for persons with disabilities. And to help make the internet fully inclusive by the year 2025. Glad you dropped by we're happy to meet you and to have you here with us.   Michael Hingson ** 01:21 Well, hi and welcome to another episode of unstoppable mindset. Today we have the pleasure of talking with Dr Christine Balarezo and Christine, well, what can I tell you about Christine? She has founded a company called Christine Valery so and she offers multi dimensional spirituality and coaching. And I'm not going to go into it all, because it's more fun to hear it from her than to hear it from me. Anyway, so I'm just going to say, Christine, I really want to welcome you to and thank you for coming on unstoppable mindset.   Dr Christine Belarezo ** 02:00 Thank you so much, Michael. I'm really grateful and excited to be here and to converse with you and simply see wherever we go in this conversation. Well, it'll be fun.   Michael Hingson ** 02:12 And yeah, who knows where we're going to go? It'll it'll be fun. I've got lots of questions I can think of, and I'm sure you have lots of things to say. Let's start with something that should be pretty easy. Tell us about, kind of the early Christine, growing up and so on, and kind of maybe how you got where you are today. But let's start with sort of the the early Christine,   Dr Christine Belarezo ** 02:32 absolutely. So I'm Christine, as many of you know, most people call me this. I was born in Peru to Peruvian parents, but my mom came here when she was 16, to the United States, to Connecticut, specifically, and then she went back to Peru and met my dad. And I was born there during the time of a civil war, and my parents realized that they had wanted to live somewhere else, perhaps maybe with more stability and see a different type of lifestyle. So they first moved to California, and eventually we ended up in Connecticut, and that's where I spent my earlier years. I grew up on the Long Island Sound in Connecticut, where my grandparents had already come beforehand, and they established a restaurant, and that's where I saw my formative years. It was a very different, I think, way of living, because since then, I've moved I also have a twin sister, and it was, again, a different way of for me growing up, perhaps coming from another culture and blending that into where I grew up in, which was predominantly homogenous, so there wasn't too much diversity, and I learned to navigate different types of people and experiences. And long story short, we're speeding it up here in high school, I moved to Florida, which opened up to a completely new culture, different experiences, and my main goal in life was to work with other cultures and other people. And I initially wanted to pursue a line in diplomacy, and that's what I was working towards beforehand. With my background in political science, I really wanted to help people. I really wanted to focus on peace and bringing together, perhaps some type of mediation resolution in countries that experienced a lot of instability, a lot of conflict. But I think life had other plans.   Michael Hingson ** 04:36 That happens a lot, doesn't it? Right? There's   Dr Christine Belarezo ** 04:38 that saying, you know, when you plan something, sometimes God or whatever your beliefs are, there's something that changes your plans. I'm like, Oh, I plan things. So to the T and I realized things are changing, and I'm going to have to also pivot. And I became a single parent. I'm a mom to a beautiful boy when I was still completing my undergraduate. IT career, and so that definitely changed my trajectory. And I know in diplomacy, especially the route that I wanted to go into, it entails a lot of traveling, and sometimes you have to go to locations where you may not be able to bring family. And I knew I didn't want that. So I reformulated, and I'm like, Okay, I'm gonna have to go down a different path. And I realized I may not be able to do that particular line of work, but I still wanted to pursue something to help people, so I pivoted to human rights. And that just opened up because human rights is very broad. It encompasses so many types of groups, so many types of individual rights, civil political liberties, among many other types of perhaps freedoms that we have here in the United States, that we may obviously take for granted, but that are not always present in other countries. And I pursued that path with obviously completing my Bachelor's, my master's, and then my doctorate, and then I changed. I was like, maybe I'll consider academia, and I'll just tell you. Fast forward, many years later, I just started feeling like I couldn't help people in the way that I wanted to because I was not working one on one with people in the way that I felt that I could help them. A lot of it had to do with, maybe more abstract, theoretical types of support and aid. And sometimes I felt like I was lost in that bubble, because academia and sometimes some of the work people do human rights, and it depends, but the line that I was on, it just felt disconnected. I'm like, Where are the people? Why am I? Why am I doing more research and talking about more theory and presenting at conferences? But I don't feel like I'm having the effect that I can to help people navigate in this world. So I went through a period of disillusionment, of feeling very lost, very disconnected and questioning myself. Is this the path that I'm meant to be on? Is this something that my heart is truly connecting to? And I realized it wasn't, and I tried, because of all of the work that I've done, I feel like this was so similar to so many other people that I've spoken to. I'm like, let me see how I can salvage all of this experience, all of my hard work. And I pivoted to the nonprofit in a similar background in human rights, particularly human trafficking, and I tried. I was like, You know what? Let's continue doing what I did in a different way. I just felt like my life was disappearing, and that was not a very positive experience for me, though I learned a lot, really grateful, because something I think that you touch upon in many of your episodes with other folks and even with your own personal story, Michael, is challenges. As humans, we experience a lot of challenges, and it's your attitude that really defines the next step, and I realized this wasn't probably the best, maybe most highlighting or illuminating experience of my life, but I learned something here in this space, and that pivoted me to creating my business eventually, a few years later.   Michael Hingson ** 08:16 And what is the new business about compared to what you'd been doing so   Dr Christine Belarezo ** 08:20 prior, I was really delving into human rights, human trafficking, conflict to an extent too, and working more from that theoretical, academic, research oriented, and also teaching perspective. And I completely crossed the bridge to something very different, and I entered more into the spiritual realm. And this is a broad term, because it encompasses many different elements. Some people say metaphysical. Could say occult, but it was a very non traditional, or maybe alternative field that I never thought that this was something I was going to pivot to, and it connects to a lot of what I experienced in my life, things that I was healing, and that came up for me to heal, especially after leaving that a toxic job, and it provoked a lot of things in such a fast, perhaps accelerated way that made me realize I'm being called to do something on a scale where I might not feel completely comfortable yet, because there was a lot of foreign perhaps feelings or just emotions. When you sit with them like this is new. I kind of felt like a kindergartner, because I was essentially re crafting my identity, who I was and what I was doing. And it's so easy to become attached to who you are, whether, again, it's a political scientist or a teacher, whatever it is, and that's what happened with me. I had to unravel, undo, unlearn a former Christine and completely step into this new role of what my own heart was calling me towards. So my own business focuses on helping people connect to. They really are and learning to trust themselves. And you mentioned this perhaps when we opened up Michael about listening to your intuition of what you're feeling and sensing. And sometimes it's scary, because it may be telling you or bringing up to you, it's time to go. It's time to leave. It's time to end this way of being or doing, existing or identifying, and a lot of times our human selves are like, we're going to hang on.   Michael Hingson ** 10:29 Well, give me a little bit more if you would insight into so exactly, what is it then that that you do now, as opposed to kind of what you were doing before,   Dr Christine Belarezo ** 10:38 well before it was training and helping people in human trafficking, whether it was understanding what the dynamics were, educating students through coursework examples, for example, and now I connect with people generally, one on one through a Coaching environment where I help people transform different obstacles or different experiences that they want to overcome. A lot of it has to do with shining or empowering themselves, showing up as who they who they are, excuse me, and also grappling with anything around fear, whether it's fear of the unknown, fear of change or fear of anything alternative, especially if they have followed a certain paradigm or belief system or religion or a philosophy. And it's like, I feel like I may have gifts in certain areas. Perhaps you can call them psychic gifts, or seeing or sensing things. And I work with people to also harness that. And I do that through through different modalities, intuitive, spiritual coaching when we work one on one, and it's really at the bottom root, it's not therapy. It's a lot about asking questions, because we're focused on solutions and moving forward. It's very forward or future oriented. And we do glean to the past to inform, but we don't stay there. And I incorporate also my own gifts, again, my intuitive and psychic gifts to help people through the questions that I ask, because ultimately, I believe everyone knows and has the answers to what they need and what they know is best for them. It's called our intuition. People know that for many reasons, a lot of times we feel stuck. We don't see things. We may feel like things are unclear, and it's simply getting rid of the noise or chaos around us. So there's a lot of simplifying on so many different layers, and that's what I help people do, because sometimes we have to zero in and it's helpful because other people can see things you don't always see.   Michael Hingson ** 12:42 So how do you how do you do that? How do you get somebody unstuck or open to thinking about doing something or reacting in a different way than they have? A   Dr Christine Belarezo ** 12:54 lot of it takes awareness first. You have to be aware first of maybe any disconnection or what I call similar to what we used to coin in political science, relative deprivation. Sometimes you're seeing things from a certain perspective, where what it is that you want, but where it is that you are existing, or perhaps acknowledging there is some type of distance there. And that's where people maybe fall into a point of suffering, because they're trying to resolve things with what they know, what they've brought in their current belief systems. I call it Life suitcase. Basically everything they know up to that point they're still holding on. And what I do generally, for example, in the first session, I ask a lot of questions about the background, why they're coming to me, what their goals are, what's been going on, to learn a little bit more about who they are as a person, too, but more importantly, where they want to move, what direction generally. And through these questionings that come up a lot of it's intuitive, because once people start talking to me, and even beforehand, I just the best way to explain this is I just get, like a knowing and questions come to me that help unlock some of this for people where they say, Wow, I didn't even realize it about myself. This is what has been holding me back, or this is why I feel scared around this particular issue or being seen. So a lot of it is it happens organically. It happens through me, conversing one on one with people, and all those lines, they connect kind of like connected dot. There's a game. I don't recall a name, but it's a kin of, okay, we have one nugget that has appeared, and we keep following the rest. And I wish I could say this happens in 24 hours, or in a week, where people are like, okay, I'm good to go. We've got it. I'm unstuck. Generally, it happens, I would say, over a period of time, and it depends with everyone. Because, again, awareness is key here. And my point is not to tell people this is what you're doing wrong, or this is what you need to see. Is to help people see that for themselves.   Michael Hingson ** 15:02 Uh, spiritual healing and transformation is something that probably a lot of people look down on. They say that there's nothing really to all that, but leaving what people think aside and maybe, maybe not. But what are the major blocks, or roadblocks, and how do you get past that to say, look, there really is something to be said for this whole idea of you can transform yourself, you can heal yourself. And doing spiritual healing techniques is an IS and ought to be a very important part of what you do.   Dr Christine Belarezo ** 15:40 Thank you for that question. Those were things that I pondered myself, and what I have found that generally, in whatever modality you choose, it's important to know that I and others, in whatever tool you use, it's a facilitation. I'm not here to tell you. I'm going to heal you. I have a magic wand. I'm a fairy godmother from a Disney movie, and poof, you're going to come out of this 100% yield. But what I can tell you is many of the factors, or many of the challenges or blocks, as you name them, that come up for people, they're universal themes around fear, doubt, allowing ourselves to be seen a certain way or to express a certain way. In other words, maybe stepping into what it is that we feel passionate about. And a lot of times I tell people, what makes you excited, what makes you joyful, or what brings up those feelings of, oh, I can't wait to do this. I want to go into this, because that's also telling you a lot about where you might want to go next. And I want to speak a little bit more about the fear and doubt, because, again, depending on many factors, where you've grown up, your family, your society, your culture. And I'll say that broadly speaking, because culture is very multifaceted, multi dimensional, we have a lot of layers that we may be undoing and we may be relearning things, perhaps setting boundaries, speaking up for ourselves, realizing, Wait, I can put my needs first before others, or I can say no, I can also know and realize it's okay to be afraid most of the times, many things that we do, even if we're passionate about them, there could be some fear, like maybe speaking in front of a crowd, You can feel that through your different senses, people get butterflies in their stomach, right? You feel a sensation, or even when you are doing something for the first time that is new, people generally feel it in their body first. So fear is an element. I feel that it's always present. It's about realizing taking that first step forward, no matter how small is, what's going to eventually help dissipate that. And what I have found is not thinking about that long term picture, because a lot of people, and I think it's very perhaps human of us, we want to know the whole picture. If we're leaving a job, we want to know all the steps and what our next job is going to be and what exactly we are going to do. And we want to have that outlined akin to a board game where we want all the answers, because that gives us control. It gives us safety, it provides security, and it allows us to say, well, we can follow the steps because they're already here. And what I've come to realize working with some of the people that I've worked with is many of them are on paths where there aren't steps in front of them, they're doing things that are very different, perhaps different from their family systems, different from their society or culture, or completely different, like I did, where I didn't really have other steps in front of me to follow. There was no manual or rule book. And so a lot of these challenges about overcoming these blocks, they first start with that awareness that I mentioned, and then taking, I call them many action steps. They don't have to be big and they don't have to necessitate planning, and I think that's key, and it's important to remember and in this process itself.   Michael Hingson ** 18:53 So in in dealing with all of this, I know you talk a lot about the whole concept of spiritual connection. What? What exactly is that? And I think maybe the real question is, why is spiritual connection so very important, and how do we really work toward getting there?   Dr Christine Belarezo ** 19:18 You squeezed in three questions. In one,   Michael Hingson ** 19:19 okay,   Dr Christine Belarezo ** 19:21 I love that. I'm the same way. It's like little sub button, you know, something that,   Michael Hingson ** 19:27 what can I say? What can I say? I don't mind it at all.   Dr Christine Belarezo ** 19:31 I think it's a they just they pop out. That's how it works with me, too. I get questions that pop out in very much the same way. And right now, so many changes have been happening, I would say, in such an accelerated speed in many different areas of our lives, and connecting to so many people, whether it's neighbors or clients or friends and family, there's very resonant themes where some excuse me, where people are going through some. In their life, or several something. And a lot of this has to do with coming back to self. And when you mentioned what is spiritual connection, it's simply your connection to something higher, a belief system. Many people call this god. It could be universe, spirit, source, energy, or even your higher self. It varies. I usually just say God for myself, but it's a higher energy source. And realizing sometimes there's a lot of things we as humans want to control. We want to dictate how things will go. We will push and resist. We'll try to fit everything in our suitcase. And when things don't go that way, when the suitcase pops open and we have challenges, the more we resist, the more we suffer, because we're trying to make things happen in our own way. And as humans, we only have a limited ability for certain things to go in that way, except for our mindset, our beliefs, our thoughts, our attitudes. And so the spiritual connection is something bigger you may not always understand, you may not always see, but you you can feel it, and that's something you can cultivate and nurture. And a lot of people have been turning to that, I would say, especially post pandemic, when so many things fell apart, that perhaps is another conversation, but so many things were brought up for people. Am I truly happy doing what I'm doing? Am I in the right relationships? I feel like I'm supposed to be moving on to something else, etc. So many questions came up, and people I found were feeling lost because they were placing a lot of this outside of themselves, perhaps in institutions, in different people. And when those things dissolve, what do you have? And that goes on to the next question is, well, why? Why the spiritual connection? Because the connection we have with God, with the universe, with source, and generally with something divine. We may not always see, but we feel it, something that can never be taken away from us. And I like to relate, relate it almost like an umbilical cord. Think of all of us being in imaginary little bubbles. We all have our own connection to this source, to this divinity that cannot be taken away. And I've been mentioned mentioning this frequently with people. You may have read the book by Victor Frankel in answer for meaning about his experiences in the concentration camps and something he brings about, which you also talk about too, is your attitude towards life, your thoughts, your beliefs, and how that can dramatically change how it is you navigate through life in general, but also challenges. And that's something too with the spiritual connection that can help nurture this too, because you again don't, we don't always have the answers to everything. And the moment where we say, You know what, I give this up to either something higher or I surrender this. More importantly, I'm leaning into faith and hope that things are going to work out in the way that they can. And that's a that brings in a level of acceptance, which doesn't mean that you acknowledge and you say, I'm happy. These challenges are, are are going on in my life, or the others are experiencing this? No, it's simply saying, okay, it is what it is. This has occurred. I can't, can't change it. What can I do moving forward? And for me, one of the best ways that I have found to cultivate or nurture the spiritual connection is by learning how to take time to embrace solitude. And that's again, something that many folks experience with the pandemic. We heard a lot of either anecdotal stories and narratives where people realized, quote, unquote, I found myself, or I realized this is what I wanted in life. Or lot of people saw the duality of the lives they were living before and the lives they were currently living, and how much control a lot of folks had to give up during the pandemic, where they realized I need to make changes, and this is the direction that I feel like I'm being called into and for me, the best way that I saw, perhaps this is what the pandemic. I tend to look for silver linings in hardships and challenges, so in reflection to the pandemic. For instance, one of the things that I saw, that it brought to all of us was how to lean into solitude, how not to be afraid of your own self, your own fears or things that are changing.   Michael Hingson ** 24:25 You know, you said something interesting about people wanting to control everything and they can't. Why can't they so? And that's an interesting discussion. You could you could immediately say, Well, what about things like the pandemic? We didn't have control over the pandemic. And, yeah, that's true. We didn't have control over the pandemic happening. But like with anything, what we do have control over is how we deal with things like the pandemic. So in in terms of that, what can we learn to have better control over the things that occur in our lives, or or, can we   Dr Christine Belarezo ** 25:14 That's a big question, and I do think we can find safety and security in ways or different things we can control, namely, again, what's within us. Think about our circle or bubble of influence, and a lot of it pertains to ourselves, how we react, how we view things right, like putting on maybe a different shirt, some people feel like when they wear something, a certain something, it feels different, and they may feel more confident or vibrant. Maybe it's the material. It honestly doesn't matter, but the way that we try to control things, it all relates down to safety and security. And I feel like the pandemic really blew that out of the waters for so many people, because, again, things just happen that we may not even understand fully. And for me, my own personal belief, I do believe in an afterlife, and I do believe that when our physical bodies end here, we continue on in Adriatic form. And so some people, we may not understand that until that time. We may never understand it, but so many things happen so quickly that we're forced to confront a lot of things that may have been left untouched unseen. That's why there was a lot of healing that came up for people, generally and individually around so many topics, and what I've told folks repeatedly, and also what I've learned my own self, because I didn't come into this world thinking, You know what? I don't need to react to this. I have to learn this too as a human. A lot of this has to do with, again, how we approach things, and that can be something that's difficult to learn because we're unlearning different behaviors that were inculcated from our own family systems, from the way we've grown up, from society and the way we navigated and many of us tapping in to these different issues or problems that have come up. We're adults. I never questioned this when I was five years old, I didn't question, Should I be responsive or reactive at this time? Why am I losing control over this? That's why it's beautiful. Children have a different way of approaching things. If something doesn't work, they may express it through their emotions, right? Tantrums? That's one way they express this energetically. Then they go about like, two minutes later, playing they carry on with adults. We tend to hold on to that and maybe perhaps over identify with some of these things that are not controllable.   Michael Hingson ** 27:53 Well. The other part about it is that as we are dealing with things that happened to us. It seems to be that we can learn to be better prepared for things to happen to us. And what I'm kind of saying about that is all right, so let's take the pandemic. We didn't predict it. Probably couldn't predict it. Well, I'm pretty sure we couldn't predict it, but so many people just were going around trying to figure out what to do with themselves. The government wasn't helping with that. For a while, we got a lot of mixed messages, but at the same time, what comes to mind is that we could learn more about being able to face unexpected situations. I'm hesitant to use the word control, but we certainly but we really can learn to control how we deal with them, but we don't learn and and have been, in a sense, spoiled, and don't learn how to deal with things that we don't expect to happen. And the result of that is that, because we don't learn anything or give thought to it when something happens, then we don't have, or we haven't created, the tools to deal with it. Does that make sense?   Dr Christine Belarezo ** 29:29 Absolutely, and I will say I agree with all the points that you made, but there are many people that have pivoted and were able sure to change, or perhaps to move with the ways, with the pandemic as a prime example, because they've experienced a lot of different changes in their own life, whether it was growing up in a dysfunctional home or simply maybe moving a lot, or changing schools, or whatever it is that entailed, it's time to adapt to a new way, to a new environment, perhaps to new people. Systems and institutions. So I heard from some folks that this pandemic, for many of them, they embraced it, especially maybe people that were more introverted or that really value that solitude. They really realized it's time for me to go out on my own, maybe work for myself or do things differently, because it created a massive shift in movement around how people work and interrelate   Michael Hingson ** 30:24 well. And I think you're absolutely right. I think it's important that that we do more of that, and we we tend to fear, and we have allowed fear as an entity mostly to overwhelm us, or, as I put it, blind us, or paralyze us, whatever word you want to use, but overwhelm. And so when something happens that causes a fear reaction, we tend not to be able to face it very well, because we've never learned how to harness that fear and use it in a positive way, and I've talked about it before on this podcast, that that was one of the things that I was able to deal with on September 11, because I learned what to do in the case of an emergency, and it created a mindset within me that said, when Something did happen, okay, you know what the options are. Now assess your situation and then deal with the appropriate option based on the situation. Well, there are actually lots of options, because the situation was, there was fire in the building, but the fire wasn't anywhere near us. I knew that because my dog, my guide dog, Roselle, was giving absolutely no indication that she felt fear. And dogs have, I do believe, a much greater sense of some things than people do, and if she had sensed anything that caused her to be concerned, I would know it well she wasn't, which told me that whatever was going on wasn't such an imminent emergency that we couldn't evacuate in an orderly and calm way. And so I worked to get other people in the office calm and got them to the stairs. I didn't a colleague, David Frank did, but David was pretty worried and scared. And in fact, at one point, when I kept saying, slow down, don't panic, he said, You don't understand. You can't see what's going on outside. The problem was that David wasn't seeing what was going on inside, namely the dog that wasn't reacting. And I knew the dog, and I knew that that was part of my world that gave me information that I could use. If Roselle had been acting differently, we would have done things differently, but she wasn't well, so guests got to the stairs, and David and I went to the stairs, and we started down, and we went downstairs. But the bottom line is that it was because I had taken time in advance to prepare and didn't rely on reading signs and other things, that, as I said, it created a mindset. And I think that more often than not, we collectively as people, can learn how to deal with fear in a different way than we do, and that we can use fear as a tool to help heighten our senses, focus us and not overwhelm us and create a situation where we can't make decisions.   Dr Christine Belarezo ** 33:33 Ditto. I loved your example, and I remember reading that and also hearing that about you and Roselle, when you were waiting and kind of feeling into results response, and that was your indicator of like, Okay, do we have anything to be alarmed or not? And that's the same. And I agree with you about animals, they have a high incense, I'll just say their own intuition, but also internal alarm rating that you can sense how animals behave a lot and see what's going on, because they pick up a lot of things, and we don't for so many, for so many reasons. And practicing this fear is key, knowing what you do and how you navigate the world, preparing yourself right, looking for emergency exits, knowing the layout, etc. That's one such way. And in certain circumstances, I think we can prepare to an extent, right? That's one amazing example, if you are traveling, if you're on the plane, if you're in a hotel or in your own home, you can prepare certain things, like safety procedures, making sure you have alternative ways to enter your home if you get locked out, whatever it is. And I think to an extent, we can prepare for certain situations. We see that with natural disasters, right? We can learn a lot from historical events or different types of conflicts. Yeah. But sometimes there's things that happen in our life that we may not always know how to prepare, and a lot of this taps into the emotional response. And something that I have found too is sometimes over preparing for things can induce anxiety in people, because it may provoke fears of, well, wait. What if this happens? And it's not so much about identifying with that potential situation or event that could happen, but simply having some, maybe some type of contingency plan or a backup plan where you can say, how would I approach this? Because when unexpected things happen in our lives, whether it's an unexpected relationship loss or grief that pops up a memory or even an event like you experienced with September 11. We may not always appear or know how to respond, even if we plan for it, but I love the example you gave, because it's an excellent, excellent way of practicing this. We can simply practice and lean into some of the fears by doing a little bit every day, and some may call it a form of exposure therapy. But the more we practice with the unknown, with changes, with navigating things that come in our life, I think the more it gives us that sense of empowerment and also perhaps a calm inner confidence, like, hey, whatever comes our way, we'll be able to navigate this.   Michael Hingson ** 36:24 What I think is is really the issue is that it isn't necessarily planning for every contingency that that is difficult at best anyway, because there are so many contingencies that we don't necessarily know about, but we can learn to know ourselves. And we can learn to say, Okay, I observe this happening. And this is the kind of thing that can happen in an instant, if we work toward it, something does happen, and because we have learned to know ourselves, we've learned to know that we don't need to be afraid to the point where we can't make decisions. We've taught ourselves to be able to make positive or make some sort of decision. By observing those are things that if, if we teach ourselves how to do it, we can learn to very quickly, make the decision that would be best for us. And of course, part of that has to do with learning to listen to our inner selves. And I know one of the things that you talk about is people learning to interpret and understand their own psychic gifts. So how do people learn? Or how can we teach people to learn, to be able to harness and tap into their own intuitive and psychic gifts?   Dr Christine Belarezo ** 37:59 That's, I think, such a fascinating question. And I it repeatedly comes up where so many people now are being put in situations that provoke or prompt this question. Because a lot of people we know and we feel it, that's the thing. It's another sense many people are leaning into now, is what's coming up in their body. It's almost when you meet someone. This is the best example of how you can tap into some of these intuitive and psychic gifts that everyone has, but some people choose not to nurture for many reasons, including fear. But ever meet someone, and it's just their presence, which is, you could say energy, but it's just the presence of a person, whether it's their voice, or when you shake hands with someone, or just being in their proximate vicinity, you may feel off. You may feel certain, certain something is not quite right, and a lot of people have mentioned in so many various circumstances, something feels off about that person. I can't put my finger on it, but I just don't feel comfortable. Or likewise, people come into a room and sometimes they're so full of vitality and life, and you just feel uplifted and energized. And we get certain sensations in different ways that everyone receives them. And that's the first point of our intuitive and psychic gifts, is realizing I'm feeling something. But many people, they're like, Nah, that can be right, or they just count it, or they dismiss it, as I'll say, especially with what I call red flags, right? When you feel something is off, or you're like, I'm not really sure this interaction is best for me or this job, or whatever the circumstance, it's only in retrospect. People are like. I knew it. I felt it. I felt the science. Because we don't see something come up in our inner mind where it tells us, okay, this computer is registering. This person is XYZ. We feel it. So the first step is. Really harnessing your gifts. For those that are just embracing them, they're popping up, or you're wanting to strengthen this is to start paying attention to these moments and to trust what you're feeling. A lot of times, I always suggest to people write them down, whether it's in your phone, in some type of computer application, or you can write it in a way that helps you, or you can a lot of you know what's interesting? I connect to a lot of people that like using video recorders, and they record. You know how some people like to express through journaling, right through words now, and that's another powerful way. But the point here is to take account and to start becoming aware of all those different instances where you may have discounted yourself, and more than likely, the majority of those times you were right, you had some type of feeling where you felt something was off, and that's one of the first things you have to become aware of that, because there's a level of trust that then comes in. Many people don't trust themselves. Or, like, No, this can't be right. Or they say, quote, unquote, I'm crazy, or I'm seeing things, or I'm making things up, or it's just me. Everyone likes this person, or this is a great work environment. And then later on, they're like, I knew something was off. So it takes practice, which you infer of right with leaning into fear. It's the same way with your psychic and intuitive gifts, and we have to practice that continuously. It's a muscle whenever you are Go ahead. No, go ahead. Oh, whenever we are experiencing those moments, it's important to say, Okay, what's coming up for me? Yeah, and a lot of different emotions, and this can stem, again, from your own personal, lived experiences, maybe growing up where people discounted what you said. You weren't allowed to speak or communicate or express yourself in a certain way. Maybe you were invalidated, or people subjugated you to a certain way of being. There's so many different circumstances that I found, but a lot of the stems from earlier parts of our lives, and we're honing this too, and that's just one part of trusting yourself. And for me, I take a very practical approach, because the more I've leaned into trusting myself in my own intuition, and we've all received the psychic messages very differently, too. That's something else very briefly to say, some people may just know things or send things, and that's clear cognizance or clear sentience, or they may see things visually or through dreams, clairvoyance, for example. And so there's different extra sensory ways that these messages come through. And a lot of times I'll say again, like I've said, we feel it in our body first, and it's not something we should intellectualize or something that you can try to analyze. Yeah.   Michael Hingson ** 42:51 And what I was going to react to was the fact that you, you referred to it as a muscle, and it is, and I think it's important that people think about it in that way. My favorite example, and I've used it lots, I hope people aren't getting too bored with it, is trivial pursuit, which is a fun game, and I think of so many times I've played it with people, and I've been a victim of it, and others have been as well. A question is asked, an answer pops into our head, and then we think, no, it can't be that easy. And we think about it and we give a different answer, and invariably, the answer that we originally thought of was the right answer. Our inner selves knows a lot more than we give it credit for, and by practicing to listen to it, I think we all can benefit a great deal, but we do really have to practice and listen to it, because I think that it won't steer us wrong, although I think a lot of people will poo poo that, but it is, it is absolutely true, and there are so many examples of it, so I think it is important, and it's Part of what I put in my new book that's coming out called Live like a guide dog, true stories from a blind man and his dogs about being brave, overcoming adversity and walking in faith. It's all about learning to deal with fear and learning to listen to ourselves and learning not to second guess, but really learn to know more than we do and we can.   Dr Christine Belarezo ** 44:29 Oh, you just beautifully packaged that that could be like the little bow or ticket on a gift. I think you summed it up perfectly. And just to reference Roselle during your time when you are working at the World Trade Center, and even now with your guide dog and any animal in particular, you'll notice that, how many times have you seen a dog or an animal or felt it doubt themselves? I've never because I have two wiener dogs, and you may have heard them, hopefully not loudly. You have two wiener. Dogs. Here dachshunds. I   Michael Hingson ** 45:01 was listening for them. I haven't heard the doxies.   Dr Christine Belarezo ** 45:04 I've never in my life thought, wow, he or she second guessed themselves. They don't need to go to the bathroom. Or if they bark for a reason, because animals are so attuned to different we'll say frequencies like a radio than we are. And again, many stories around how animals will bark at certain people or see things we don't. And brings to mind, they're not second guessing themselves. They know exactly what they've seen, and they will stay very fervent in that position, whether it's barking or they're like, hey, I need to go out, or whatever it is. And they'll let you know, similar to what you brought up with Rosella and how she didn't indicate any fears, which help you tune in and say, Okay, we're good right now at this time. So in the same vein, we can learn a lot from animals. And it seems like your book is tapping exactly into this where animals, they just do it. They don't themselves, they don't question themselves, they don't ask the next dog over. Hey, did you see what I see   Michael Hingson ** 46:02 they don't do, what if they don't? And   Dr Christine Belarezo ** 46:06 that's the beauty that we can learn from from other creatures around this, but also to ourselves. And again, it's just practicing. And this is probably the most boring, unglamorous aspect of this work that I do, because people tend to see it in perhaps a particular way. When you talk about this field of spirituality and psychics and intuition, people see it a certain way, and it's really not this is the boring work of you got to trust yourself first, because if you are receiving those intuitive messages and you don't trust that, there's going to be no one else you can listen to them, but what if they're deceiving you? You got to trust what it is that you're feeling and what's coming up to you, and you've said it, it never leads you astray.   Michael Hingson ** 46:52 As I said, animals don't do what if. But make no mistake, they learn. So there are so many examples of somebody being in a situation like family in a in a building and it catches fire, and the animal comes and it bothers people, until they pay attention and it gets them out. The animal didn't do a well, what if this building catches on fire? What am I going to do? The animal does learn, however, how to move around their place. That's one example. The bottom line is, we can all learn those same sorts of things, and we do have the extra gift of being able to do what if, but we need to learn how to use that too. And again, the best thing about what if is that we learn to build that muscle, that mental muscle, and learn how to know ourselves better so that we can deal with situations that come up. And although not every situation will be the same, and we may not have predicted a particular situation, we can learn well enough to have a pretty good idea of how to deal with most things that come into our lives if we choose to.   Dr Christine Belarezo ** 48:07 I agree. That resonates so much. I always like to say we have our own sniffers, kind of like dogs, because their sense of smell is so acute, and some I would imagine breeds, especially carriers. I'm not a dog expert, but this is just from my experience, and what I've read, they have an even greater sense of smell, where they can send things that we can't. And to your example about, you know, a dog that maybe awakens the family, or even cats or any other animals. I've read so many accounts because I'm an animal lover as well, and I'm just fascinated by they don't question things. They follow their senses. And for many reasons, I feel like animals are also like our own angels, our own guardian angels. They help us in many ways, and we can learn so much like they do, because they adapt. They're super intelligent creatures, and I speak for many different types of creatures, rodents, birds, could be reptiles, dogs and those in the wild that we make there was ways that we can also start practicing and adapting to having that keen sense of knowing who you are. And perhaps that's something people are learning, especially post pandemic, is who am I? And connecting to yourself through those moments of solitude, but also in your surroundings, that's it helps you keep in touch with what's going on, like your own antenna.   Michael Hingson ** 49:33 Well, there's, there is a lot we can learn and hopefully live like a guide dog will help people think about that a little bit more and maybe not fear so many things. Or, you know, another aspect of it is we've got some people who just say, Trust me, I know what's best. Just listen to me. You don't have to worry about it. That never works. And what we really need to do is. Is to not just trust, but make sure that somebody earns our trust, and we really take the time to think that we've really analyzed what they say, and then we can trust perhaps. But even then, it does go both ways, but it is a it is a challenge. Well, tell me something that people don't know about you, just to change the subject.   Dr Christine Belarezo ** 50:30 Wow. You know, I've asked myself this question, and   Michael Hingson ** 50:33 you're still trying to figure out what what you don't know about you, right?   Dr Christine Belarezo ** 50:38 I think that's an ever longing journey or quest. And I think something folks may not know about me is how much I really like to learn. I'm generally a very curious person, and I love asking questions to people. Things pop up and things like sometimes when I speak, it could lead, it could appear or feel like I'm going off a tangent. That's because I get so many things that pop up in my head. I'm like, Oh, this is fascinating. And I can really go down a hole in trying to learn, perhaps over consume or simply engage with someone or something, whether it's a topic, a theme, or something I'm really passionate about, until I know all facets. And when I say all facets, obviously it's not going to happen, because there's something you can always keep learning. Yeah, so simply learn to lean into that, because I'm a lifelong learner, and I've always considered myself like a student in life, a traveler in life and through the world, and I constantly learn new things, and some people when they either sense being in my energy, or if they see me, they judge, because I can be quiet, but that's because I'm observing first, and I'm someone that likes to observe and kind of get a feel. Would this person be open to talking? Do they like to engage? So that's just something that most people don't know about me. It's really easy based on many assumptions, whether it's through personal experiences or maybe something people see in themselves to make those judgments. But I'm a questioner. I just question I love asking people questions about themselves, what, why they do, what they do, what led them to this? And more questions pop up, so it's infinite. Well,   Michael Hingson ** 52:24 that's there's nothing wrong with that curiosity, I think is a good thing, and I love being curious, and I wish more of us would have been taught more about being curious and not discouraged as children, which happens so often. But I think the curiosity is a very important thing to do. So I'm glad you like that, and I'm glad that you talk about that. What kind of advice might you have for others who want to make a big change in their life?   Dr Christine Belarezo ** 52:53 Don't overthink it, just do it. And I also want to preface this, perhaps a mini disclaimer here, obviously, make sure your basic needs are taken care of. You know, like paying your bills and things around those elements. But when it comes to making a change, I find that so many people, and I say this particularly from personal experience, we may lean into it. We may take time. It may be years. I'll just tell you my leap from academia into doing what I am now. I received just knowings just guidance. It's time to end your time here, similar to yours when you left your position at the World Trade Center and you left that career to start speaking, and I've received messages like Diana ignored it, and I took a lot of time. We're talking more than a decade. I'm like, Nope, I'm going to keep pursuing this. So I would say, when you feel something, explore it, and don't be afraid to take action. That doesn't mean, okay, I'm going to quit my job the next day. Can mean maybe it's time to update my resume or CV. Maybe it's time to reconnect to my network and start exploring new opportunities, or hey, that event is calling to me about maybe basketball popped up in my head, or sports, or whatever it is. Take action. Don't put it on pause. Don't wait. Don't say another day, because we tend to analyze things, and then that wheel is fomenting, perhaps of discontent or unhappiness or whatever it is.   Michael Hingson ** 54:32 Yeah, I think again, you're right. You can't, you shouldn't overthink. And if you think about things in the right way and analyze it, you can come to the right decision. And that's really what you're you're looking to do, which is as good as it gets, and that's important to do. Well, tell me, if people tell me a little bit about you and your business. So how do you meet people? How do you reach out to people? How do they find you? And so on.   Dr Christine Belarezo ** 55:05 So I encountered and connected to clients in so many ways, usually in unusual ways, where I'm shopping, maybe at the market, I'm reaching for a fruit and someone's like, hi, I don't know them. And then they start telling me about themselves or life story, and next thing you know, I'm still with the pair in my hand 30 minutes later, and you're like, what do you do? And I let them know, like, wow. I'm like, yeah. And so I meet people in unusual circumstances like that, where I'm just going about my routine other ways, is through connecting one on one, like coffee chats, and that's not usually my main intention. One of my values is connecting and creating bridges with people. I simply like connecting and asking questions, getting to know people, and supporting other people. And many times, folks are interested in what I do, and that's one way that I've gotten clients. I also have a YouTube channel where I talk about astrology, spiritual topics, also real life, everyday topics, because I'm a practical person, and it's important to be grounded in this world and not just completely think my head is in a certain cloud or on, existing on whatever dimension you feel you may be existing on. Very practical here, because we're all here to contribute in some facet, our own lights in this world. So YouTube is another way. I've met people LinkedIn too. You may have experienced this on LinkedIn. I'm sure many folks have where you've had people reach out, whether it's cold calls, I've had people reach out to me where we have no related work, but they may be trying to sell me something, and I've gotten clients in that way. So I don't do traditional forms of marketing. I'm someone that really values creating genuine relationships, rather than something transactional. I hope and try to create, maybe you could say, like a friendship, family, type of connection with people, because trust is really important in the line of work that I do, there are a lot of charlatans, like in many other fields, but I would say more so in this field, and that's why, going back to some of the really great questions you asked and the responses and examples you gave, it's important to trust yourself when you meet. That's why I like offering people the opportunity to engage in video calls with me, because if we don't connect, if you you're not feeling it, I don't personalize it. Um, to me, I think, Okay, I have one new friend that I know in this network. Good luck. Maybe I can offer you someone else that does something that you may connect to, sure. Well,   Michael Hingson ** 57:38 if people want to reach out to you. How do they do that? They   Dr Christine Belarezo ** 57:42 can email me, Troy, provide my email or yes please, it's and spell it out. Okay, it's Christine. I'll spell it in a sec. It's Christina @Christine Balarezo.com so it's C, H, R, as in Robert I S as in Sam T, as in Tom I N as in Nancy E. At, what is that? Called the ampersand?   58:15 No, at, at,   Dr Christine Belarezo ** 58:17 you have it? Christine, again, C, H, R, i, s, t, I, N, E. Valero, so B, as in boy, a, l, a, r, e, Z, as in zebra, o.com, that's one way, email, YouTube channel, my first and last name, Christine valarso through my website, same christineballarso.com Those are many ways to connect with me, and I offer opportunity to connect in one on one chats too.   Michael Hingson ** 58:56 Well. I hope people will reach out. This has been very insightful and very useful, and I hope that it gives people a little bit different slant on some of the things that they may be thinking or hearing within themselves, and that they'll maybe listen a little bit better. So I hope that will happen. And I want to thank you for taking the time to be with us today. I'd like to thank all of you for listening to us. We really appreciate your time. I'd love it if you'd give us a five star rating wherever you're listening to unstoppable mindset. And if you know anyone who ought to come on our podcast, we'd love to hear from you, and Christine for you as well. If you know anyone we're always looking for for guests. And so I hope that that you all will do that, and again, wherever you are, please give us a five star rating. So thank you very much for listening, and we will be back in a little while with another episode of unstoppable mindset. And you can reach out to me, and I'd love it if you would.  you can email me Michael h i@accessibe.com that's m, I C H, A, E, L, H, I at accessibe, A, C, C, E, S, S, I b, e.com, or go to our podcast page, w, w, w, dot Michael hinkson.com/podcast and Michael Hinkson is m, I C H, A, E, L, H, I N, G, s, O n.com/podcast so once more, Christine, thanks very much for being here, and we really appreciate your time.   Dr Christine Belarezo ** 1:00:28 Thank you so much. It was an absolute pleasure. Thank you all great.   **Michael Hingson ** 1:00:37 You have been listening to the Unstoppable Mindset podcast. Thanks for dropping by. I hope that you'll join us again next week, and in future weeks for upcoming episodes. To subscribe to our podcast and to learn about upcoming episodes, please visit www dot Michael hingson.com slash podcast. Michael Hingson is spelled m i c h a e l h i n g s o n. While you're on the site., please use the form there to recommend people who we ought to interview in upcoming editions of the show. And also, we ask you and urge you to invite your friends to join us in the future. If you know of any one or any organization needing a speaker for an event, please email me at speaker at Michael hingson.com. I appreciate it very much. To learn more about the concept of blinded by fear, please visit www dot Michael hingson.com forward slash blinded by fear and while you're there, feel free to pick up a copy of my free eBook entitled blinded by fear. The unstoppable mindset podcast is provided by access cast an initiative of accessiBe and is sponsored by accessiBe. Please visit www.accessibe.com . AccessiBe is spelled a c c e s s i b e. There you can learn all about how you can make your website inclusive for all persons with disabilities and how you can help make the internet fully inclusive by 2025. Thanks again for Listening. Please come back and visit us again next week.

She is indeed a book whisperer and a great storyteller. Our guest this time is Bridget Cook-Birch. Bridget grew up, as she says, being a tom boy. However, she also had an insatiable appetite for reading as much as she could even from an early age. She will tell us about her growing up years and So I will leave that for her.   She had a near death experience that showed her that she had a greater purpose in life than she thought. She found it when she began to write. To date she has written several bestselling books and she has helped others to successfully create and tell their stories. Bridget is firmly convinced that stories of all kinds are an extremely part of all our lives and that we should tell them.   We get to learn much about today's publishing industry and how we can each begin our own story-telling journey. I am sure you will leave this episode and possibly be more ready to tell your own story. If you are, by the way, I would love you to reach out to me at michaelhi@accessibe.com to arrange a time for us to discuss you coming on Unstoppable Mindset. Enjoy this episode with Bridget.       About the Guest:   Bridget Cook-Burch's clients call her “The Book Whisperer”. She is a New York Times & Wall Street Journal bestselling author, mentor, trainer, mamma-bear humanitarian, and speaker known for riveting stories of transformation. Her powerful work has been showcased on Oprah, Dateline, CNN, GMA, The History Channel, NPR and in People among many others. She is the CEO and Founder of YourInspiredStory.com and Inspired Legacy Publishing. Bridget is also a co-founder and former executive director of SHEROES United, a non-profit organization that helps women and girls rise from trauma. As a leader, storyteller, trainer and humanitarian, her greatest passion is helping others to discover the importance of their own story, and to become leaders in their own communities, and worldwide. Bridget's many national bestsellers include Divine Turbulence; The Witness Wore Red; Shattered Silence; Skinhead Confessions; Leading Women; and also Living Proof.   Bridget invites you to believe in the power of your story to change the world. Join her writers' retreats and leadership retreats in Utah, Italy, Ireland and more.  Find out more at www.YourInspiredStory.com and www.SHEROESUnited.org.   Ways to connect with Bridget:   Linkedin:  Bridget Cook-Burch “The Book Whisperer” - https://www.linkedin.com/in/mbridgetcookburch/   Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/bridgetcookburch   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bridgetcookburch   YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/@inspiredlegacypublishing       About the Host:   Michael Hingson is a New York Times best-selling author, international lecturer, and Chief Vision Officer for accessiBe. Michael, blind since birth, survived the 9/11 attacks with the help of his guide dog Roselle. This story is the subject of his best-selling book, Thunder Dog.   Michael gives over 100 presentations around the world each year speaking to influential groups such as Exxon Mobile, AT&T, Federal Express, Scripps College, Rutgers University, Children's Hospital, and the American Red Cross just to name a few. He is Ambassador for the National Braille Literacy Campaign for the National Federation of the Blind and also serves as Ambassador for the American Humane Association's 2012 Hero Dog Awards.   https://michaelhingson.com https://www.facebook.com/michael.hingson.author.speaker/ https://twitter.com/mhingson https://www.youtube.com/user/mhingson https://www.linkedin.com/in/michaelhingson/   accessiBe Links https://accessibe.com/ https://www.youtube.com/c/accessiBe https://www.linkedin.com/company/accessibe/mycompany/   https://www.facebook.com/accessibe/       Thanks for listening!   Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it using the social media buttons on this page. Do you have some feedback or questions about this episode? Leave a comment in the section below!   Subscribe to the podcast   If you would like to get automatic updates of new podcast episodes, you can subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts or Stitcher. You can subscribe in your favorite podcast app. You can also support our podcast through our tip jar https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/unstoppable-mindset .   Leave us an Apple Podcasts review   Ratings and reviews from our listeners are extremely valuable to us and greatly appreciated. They help our podcast rank higher on Apple Podcasts, which exposes our show to more awesome listeners like you. If you have a minute, please leave an honest review on Apple Podcasts.       Transcription Notes:   Michael Hingson ** 00:00 Access Cast and accessiBe Initiative presents Unstoppable Mindset. The podcast where inclusion, diversity and the unexpected meet. Hi, I'm Michael Hingson, Chief Vision Officer for accessiBe and the author of the number one New York Times bestselling book, Thunder dog, the story of a blind man, his guide dog and the triumph of trust. Thanks for joining me on my podcast as we explore our own blinding fears of inclusion unacceptance and our resistance to change. We will discover the idea that no matter the situation, or the people we encounter, our own fears, and prejudices often are our strongest barriers to moving forward. The unstoppable mindset podcast is sponsored by accessiBe, that's a c c e s s i capital B e. Visit www.accessibe.com to learn how you can make your website accessible for persons with disabilities. And to help make the internet fully inclusive by the year 2025. Glad you dropped by we're happy to meet you and to have you here with us.   Michael Hingson ** 01:21 Well, hi once again, wherever you happen to be, I want to welcome you to unstoppable mindset. Today we get to visit with someone who is known as the book whisperer. How about that? Bridget Cook-Birch writes a lot of stories. She writes a lot of books. She is a storyteller, and I love that about Bridget because I believe that everyone in the world has stories to tell that they can tell, and if they don't necessarily know how to tell the stories themselves, they should seek people who can help them bring the stories out into the open for people to hear however they want to do that. But I think we should never be afraid of telling our stories whatever they happen to be. So this is going to be, needless to say, a fun podcast episode to do, because stories really is what it's all about. So with that Bridget Welcome to unstoppable mindset, we're really glad you're here.   Bridget Cook-Birch ** 02:18 Thank you, Michael. I'm so honored to be here, and I cannot wait, because I know we're going to have so much fun. And I've, as   Michael Hingson ** 02:24 I've told a number of people, the only hard and fast rule on this podcast, and it's what I've really only made up in the last few months, but it is, we both have to have fun, or there's no sense doing it so. And the other part of that, I suppose, is that listeners have to have fun too, so we'll work on that. We need to make it fun for them and and that's as good as it gets. Well, let's start a little bit by maybe you telling us kind of the story about the early Bridget, growing up and all that.   Bridget Cook-Birch ** 02:52 The early Bridget, oh, that's scary.   Michael Hingson ** 02:55 Early Bridget,   Bridget Cook-Birch ** 02:58 well, the early Bridget was adopted by two extraordinary beings, Dick and Pat whirling, who were just amazing folks. But I did have three sets of parents by the time I was six months old, and I didn't know that. Unconsciously there, there were a lot of belief systems like, oh, I can't really trust because the big people will always leave. And so I was pretty firely independent, but they were very patient with me, and I had some amazing siblings, and I read books like crazy. So I was one of those nerds that was a tomboy whenever I was outside. So I play football and climb trees and mountains and, you know, play with rattlesnakes and all the fun stuff. And then when I would go home, I would read every book I could get my hands on, read out the school library, read out the bookmobile, and my mom would let me go downtown to read out the public library. So I read a lot, and I read a lot of things that many people didn't read until they were college age, but they were important to me, and I was profoundly affected by some of those early stories, like the Diary of Anne Frank and Uncle Tom's Cabin and To Kill a Mockingbird. And I think deep down, it inspired within me to do storytelling that could change the world. So   Michael Hingson ** 04:31 now you got me curious. Tell me about playing with a rattlesnake.   Bridget Cook-Birch ** 04:36 Well, we lived up against the Rocky Mountains, and we were kind of in a deserted area. And where was this? What's that?   Michael Hingson ** 04:46 Where were you?   Bridget Cook-Birch ** 04:47 I was in Brigham City, Utah, in Utah. Okay, great. All places. My folks had adopted me from, Laramie, Wyoming. And yeah, my folks were from Detroit originally, and they. Came out so my dad, who was an engineer, could work on the Minutemen missile. And, yeah, so he was a, he was a cowboy in in always, except he wasn't from here. Yep, he wore the cowboy boots and a belt buckle the size of Texas and a 10 gallon hat. And loved to take us on historical, you know, sites all around the West. So   Michael Hingson ** 05:26 So playing with rattlesnakes, playing with rattlesnakes.   Bridget Cook-Birch ** 05:28 Yep, we we used to climb up into the mountains behind our house, and they were full of rattlesnakes. When I was little, I didn't understand that the baby rattlesnakes were actually more poisonous. I just thought they were kind of cute. So I would do a little playing around with them, until I found out that that that was not the smartest thing.   Michael Hingson ** 05:53 Did you ever get bit by one?   Bridget Cook-Birch ** 05:54 You know what? I never did. I think it's because I have a lot of affination for nature. I had a lot of peace when I was out in nature, and it seems like I never got bit or scratched or anything else. So I was very blessed. We will tell you that, because there is no way that a ambulance would have made it up the mountain, and the baby rattlers are actually more poisonous than the adults, so   Michael Hingson ** 06:23 they're more prone to strike because they don't really have, or at least they haven't yet developed some of the things that they will learn later. But yeah, that is true. My brother in law, so my what my late wife and her family grew up in Fontana and Rialto in California, also sort of on the the lower desert, but lots of things around. And one day, my brother in law, Gary, came into the house holding a black widow spider, and was showing off to everybody. And of course, everyone was just freaked out. And so he then took it outside and let it go, but still, he carried this black widow spider into the house fearlessly. Wow, that   Bridget Cook-Birch ** 07:13 I was not as fearless of spiders. I could handle snakes quite a bit, but no spiders. I would just run screaming from spiders.   Michael Hingson ** 07:22 I have occasionally been in a position where I ended up sitting very close to spiders and didn't know it, but, but nevertheless, I and black widows, among other things, when I was growing up on the desert in Palmdale, that's sort of the high desert, and we had a lot of critters. Of course, my favorites were tortoises, and we had several tortoises come up to our house, and if you decided to live with us for a little while, which is fun. Now we don't see tortoises anymore, unfortunately.   Bridget Cook-Birch ** 07:51 Oh, that's too bad, but I do know that they don't bite poisonously, but you still have to watch for them biting you. Well, tortoises, tortoises,   Michael Hingson ** 08:01 you know, there's tortoises and terrapins, which are sometimes called snapping turtles, but tortoises generally won't if you're friendly and and don't do anything that you you shouldn't do to an animal or anyone else. One of the things that I did was fed them lettuce and rose petals and occasionally cantaloupe. And even when they weren't eating, if I would put my hand down in front of a tortoises nose and then slide my finger under the nose, they would stick their head out of the shell to get their neck scratched. They loved it. Oh, yeah, tortoises can be very friendly. Oh, that's awesome. Yeah, they're they were fun. And we, we had them a fair amount. And then after growing up and living on the East Coast and coming back to California, we we didn't really have so much with tortoises, it's unfortunate. They're more endangered, I think, than they were, but really enjoy them, which was a lot of fun.   Bridget Cook-Birch ** 09:00 Yeah, there's a lot of things that our kids don't have as easy access to, in terms of animals and nature that we once did. Yeah, I hope that shifts. I hope that changes   Michael Hingson ** 09:12 I do too. I think we also need to learn not to be afraid of so many things. I mean, I would say you'd be cautious around rattlesnakes, but I think fear is one of the biggest problems that we face, because animals can sense when you're afraid, like people say, if you're caught out somewhere with a bear or with a wolf or or even dogs that tend to Be aggressive, they're going to be more. So if you're showing fear,   Bridget Cook-Birch ** 09:45 I'll tell you what. I had a situation up in mountain green. I was a single mom, and I had my sweet husband. Now I was dating. We had so much snow that our dog. Were walking out of this the fence, and so he put up like a little compound, and so that they couldn't walk walk out, and a wolf jumped over the fence to get to the dog food, but then couldn't jump back out. And I, you know, and I had kids, and I have Mama Bear instinct when it comes to kids, to my dog, so I ended up having to open every door in the house that led outside to the other and and then finally opened the sliding glass door so the wolf could go all the way through my house and up through and and escape, but that was a pretty harrowing experience. But you said we have to be careful about fear, because they do sense that. And you know that because of all you know your your dogs, and I'm sure that you've had pretty intense connections with certain animals   Michael Hingson ** 10:57 well, and I value that a great deal. And in fact, later this year, we're publishing a new book called Live like a guide dog, true stories from a blind man and his dogs about being brave, overcoming adversity and walking in faith. And the idea is that I use lessons that I've learned directly from all of my dogs on my wife's service dog, Fantasia, to deal with fear. And I'm it's the first time I've really started to work to try to teach people that they don't need to be, as I call it, blinded by fear or paralyzed by fear, that you can use fear as a very powerful tool to help you and that you can use it to help you focus. It isn't to say don't be afraid, but it is a question of how you're afraid and what you do with it. So yeah, I'd be really concerned about a loose wolf or cat in my yard, but I think that the thing to do is to figure out how to deal with it and and try to be peaceful with it. And mostly you can do that unless there's some disease around that, like rabies, that you don't and they don't have any control over and having gotten but mostly, I think we really can learn to be a lot more focused and use fear as a very powerful supportive tool than not. So it is, is something that will be out later this year. It's going to be out in August, and I'm looking forward to it. People have seen links to it. We've already tindalled. The publisher has already put out some pre order links and so on, and people are saying very kind things about it with so I hope it'll be as successful as thunder dog was back in 2011 which was my   Bridget Cook-Birch ** 12:38 first question to say, I can't wait to read this one, because I really enjoyed thunder dog. I enjoyed the storytelling. I enjoyed the teaching that you did with it. Some of those stories, though were were really something in the stairwell, but also when you were out of the building, and you did use fear in a in a smart way and saved people's lives like that was incredible. Well,   Michael Hingson ** 13:05 thank you. And I think that that's really what's important. And I realized when the pandemic occurred that I've been talking about not being afraid for song, but never really worked to try to help people learn how to control fear. So that's what it's about helping people. I'm and really enjoying being able to have the opportunity to get people to understand we're all better than we think we are.   Bridget Cook-Birch ** 13:32 I would agree with that 1,000%   Michael Hingson ** 13:36 so you want you went off? Did you go to college? I did,   Bridget Cook-Birch ** 13:41 I started off at University of Utah, and then I ended up at Utah State, little more smaller school that I liked better for just a few different reasons, but especially because I could just be immersed in nature, like the canyon was right there in my backyard, and I spent a lot of time up in the canyon. And so I went to, I've got a BS and a BA. I took political science and Russian language and all different, all different aspects. I got a couple different minors as as well as a couple majors and and loved it. Nothing in English, nothing on writing. So it all had to do, really, with with human relations and international relations. So it was one of those things that I thought I would do, until I began writing, and now I incorporate all of it.   Michael Hingson ** 14:34 So what did you do after college?   Bridget Cook-Birch ** 14:37 Well, I got married, and that's   Michael Hingson ** 14:41 a full time job. Yes,   Bridget Cook-Birch ** 14:43 while I was while I was in college, I had a pretty intense near death experience that solidified my faith in God in a really remarkable way. But it also I've, I've talked to a lot of people who've had near. Experiences and shared death experiences, and it seems like you you often come back with a gift, and the gift that I came back with was to be able to see people's stories in an extraordinary way. And I can almost like they'll be telling me a story, and I can see the threads of it and how that could be used for a speech, or how it could be written into a book, and how it could be, you know, even more compelling in the way that it's told. And and so I was, I was able to see that, and after college, I was able to start writing and working on some of these stories. So it really turned out to be a boon and a blessing for me.   Michael Hingson ** 15:44 If you want to, can you tell us a little bit about what happened with your near death experience?   Bridget Cook-Birch ** 15:50 Yeah, there was a time I was afraid to talk about it because it was so sacred, yeah, but I was also worried that, you know, people might think I was crazy. I hadn't in the beginning. When it first happened, I was in my early 20s. I was working three jobs and going to school and overworking. I got very, very ill and ended up in in the hospital and listening to a couple nurses outside in the corridor saying, this girl's not going to make it until morning. And Michael, I don't know how you felt in the tower, except from what you wrote in the book, but the one thing I knew was that I had not fulfilled the measure of my creation, and I had no idea what that was. I was pretty clueless for a college student, had big dreams, but I didn't know what the fulfillment of my my creation was, but I just knew I hadn't done it yet, and I was so sad that I wasn't going to have that opportunity. And you know, I had what I would call intercessory prayers, my mother really praying to save my life. And I had other people that were praying and and I had a I had actually two figures that filled my room, one I know is an angel, and then one that for me was definitely Jesus Christ, my Creator, and he told me that I was being given a second chance at life, and I didn't take any of it for granted and and the for the first time in days, I fell into a real deep sleep. My fever came down, and when the nurse came in, she's giving me more intravenous antibiotics because I've been so sick. And I told her, I just had this knowledge, like I said, you can give me every single one of these antibiotics, but not this one. It's killing me. And she thought I was a fruitcake, you know, she's like, this is the only thing saving your life. We thought you were going to be gone. And I'm like, No, I can have every one of these, but not this one. And fortunately, I had a doctor who had patients who'd had other experiences, and he listened and he says, well, we might as well take her off this one. She's on the rest of these. And because of that, I was able to walk out of the hospital in the next 24 hours under my own power. So   Michael Hingson ** 18:25 did they ever decide that you were allergic to it, or explanation   Bridget Cook-Birch ** 18:30 deeply allergic to one of those intravenous antibiotics? The moment they took me off, I started doing better. Wow. So it was pretty crazy.   Michael Hingson ** 18:41 Yeah. Well, you know my experience from Thunder dog, where I heard God's voice in in chapter 10 of thunder dog, and that was as real as it could get. And it's one of the things that led me to believe that when one door closes, a window opens, as Alexander Graham Bell once said, and the whole point is that there are things to do, and I didn't even worry about trying to figure out what they were what I needed to do was to look at opportunities as they came along and Do something with them. Of course, the next day after September 11, so on the 12th, Karen, my wife, said, You want to really call Guide Dogs for the Blind and tell them what happened, because several of them had visited us in the World Trade Center. So I did, and that led to the Director of Public Information wanting to do a story. And also she said, you're going to get visible on TV, I bet, where do you want to be first? And I wasn't thinking so. I just said, Larry King Live. And on the 14th of September, we had the first of five interviews on Larry King Live. And you know, the issue is that, again, that led to people starting to call and. And saying, We really would like you to come on and speak to us and talk to us and tell us what we should learn about September 11 and such things. And so I decided to start doing that. And I realized if I could tell people about what happened and teach them how to move forward from September 11, if I could teach people more about blindness and what guide dogs are all about and such than it was worth doing. And that's exactly what I did, and I've been doing it ever since. And then the pandemic came, and some things changed, but we continue to move on. And now I'm actually starting to ramp up speaking again, and looking for more speaking engagements to to help with the the income process, because not ready to retire yet, and don't have the money to retire yet. So anybody who needs a speaker out there, I'd love to talk with you about it. But you know, the the issue is that God gives us the opportunities, and that's really important to deal with. So anyway, I think we really do need to look at opportunities that come. And I really appreciate you talking about what you experienced, because it certainly told you that there's more to do. And I think that for all of us, there's a lot more that we can do, if we would but listen and and ponder and think about and look at what's happening in our lives to be able to move forward.   Bridget Cook-Birch ** 21:36 I would agree with that 1,000% and hopefully it doesn't have to take a Mack truck or a near death experience for us to recognize like, what a gift life really is and what a gift our story is, and how we can serve and support and lift one another.   Michael Hingson ** 21:55 Yeah, absolutely. And I think it's really important that we do focus on the stories and so well, tell me a little bit more about you and stories. You you believe that words can change the world and that we all should be telling stories. Talk more about that, and also just about the whole idea of when we're talking about stories. Do we really want to talk about the stories that limit us, and do we focus on those, or the stories of possibilities, or does it really even matter?   Bridget Cook-Birch ** 22:30 Oh, I'll tell you what it does matter. I've seen it over and over again, but I'll tell you a little history of how I discovered that. Uh, so after my near death experience, my husband and I moved to Denver, Colorado, and I had the opportunity to work as a PR consultant for a company called community learning centers, and I got to interview high risk kids, gang youth and others, but especially the ones who had turned their life around. And I was listening to stories that so different from how I had grown up that I was fascinated, but I also saw how the stories that we tell ourselves are the most important stories, and I began to see incredible patterns from that, and from that, I thought I would write a fictional book, like a story of forgiveness and redemption, and was even writing this book and and then I had a dream about this book, but it was different than what I had been writing. And in my dream, the book was about, you know, a gang, gang member who had left his gang had a huge price tag on his head, and in the dream, it was a skinhead. And I didn't know anything about skinheads, because the the kids I worked with in Denver were Bloods and Crips and we stra Familia and several others, but not any white supremacists. I had to do all kinds of research and discover their ideology. And then, you know, it was fascinating. Michael was to to have this dream and have to do this research find out more. And then I come across this guy's website, and he was looking for someone to write his life story that I had been writing from this dream. So to make a long story short, I recognized something guided and divine about stories, at least in terms of of where I was finding them, because they continued to find me. And a woman read his book and and she reached out to me, and she said, You know, I think if someone could take a story of darkness and create something of hope and healing, it would be you. And then she told me that she was the. Happy Face serial killer's daughter and asked if I would write her story. And I gotta tell you what. You know, it was difficult enough for me to write the skinhead story, but I learned and grew so much so I wasn't afraid of the story. I just didn't know how I was going to write something of hope and healing about a serial killer's daughter and and then I interviewed her, and I also received a lot of just inspirational downloads on how to write the book and, and I will tell you, because we chose to be of service. And I think this is really important for anybody who's choosing to write a book, is who are you writing to and how do you want to reach them, because when you choose to write a book to be of service, especially in non fiction. You know, in fiction, there's all different reasons to write education and entertainment, but in non fiction, we have, we have different levels that we can go to and and we chose to be of service. And I think because of that, that book did extraordinary things, and continues to it was on Oprah and Dr Phil and CNN and Good Morning America, and it still remains in the top true crime. And it's transformational true crime, because it was not only the victim story, but the rise of Melissa from victim to Victor. Now she's a producer in LA she's been doing tremendous things. I'm her biggest fan, except for her family and and I gotta tell you just that writing that book and seeing what could happen with a story that could change the world, it changed me and and it made me more open to seeing how one person could change the world. And I got to write my next story was of a woman who was the 19th wife of 65 women right here in our country, and she got married to the Prophet of the FLDS Church, which was an extreme organization, and and they were trafficking children in the name of God. And there were a lot of good and innocent people in that group, and then there were nefarious leaders. But I saw the power of this one woman, Rebecca Musser, to help dismantle an organized crime unit in the name of God, and she put Warren Jeffs behind bars for life plus 20 years. And it wasn't all her. There was a huge team. And there was these amazing you know, like attorneys and Texas Rangers and AGs office members, you know, down in Texas, and they all work together along with other witnesses. But she was a primary player. And what was really cool about that, Michael, I'll tell you, is, is Warren Jeffs had outlawed the color red because that was supposed to be the color that Christ would wear when he came again. And so none of his people were allowed to have red cars or red toys or red clothing. And every time that Rebecca testified more than 20 times in a court of law, she came Sasha and in and in some sort of red which I loved, because it was her way of telling this, this man who said he would break her, that she you know, that he did not break her and and it was really lovely. But the last time she went to testify, she had to face Warren Jeffs on her own because he had fired his attorneys. And I know that she was petrified on the inside, but she she comes into court, and she's wearing this beautiful red suit, and she turns around to be sworn in at the end, sees the galley, and I'll never forget, because I was sitting in the galley watching her, and the whole galley was filled with with red red ties on the Texas Rangers and red flowers and women's hair and, you know, red dresses. And I, I witnessed firsthand the power of one woman to change the world again. And ever since then, I've just been recognizing more and more things about story, and I've written some really incredible books since then. But I wanted to share a quote with you, because you asked about, you know, the stories that we tell ourselves, and another author that I love. He was a professor, Harold Goddard, and he said the destiny of the world is determined less by the battles lost and won than by the stories it loves and believes in. And my question to the world is, so are you? Are you going to let. Those stories that you love and believe in be stories of limitation or of possibility. And I've been able to see what happens when someone says, All right, I'm gonna begin to tell myself stories of possibility.   Michael Hingson ** 30:17 How true and so eloquently said. And the the issue is that we we limit ourselves. I've told people on this podcast a number of times that I used to always say to myself, I'm my own worst critic when I'm thinking about things. And I realized over the last year, wrong thing to say. We need to get out of the negative mindset so much in most everything that we do, and I now say I'm my own best teacher, because in reality, I'm the only one who can teach me things, people can offer and give information, but I'm my own best teacher, and I should approach everything that way. And I think more of us should really approach life from a learning and an adventure standpoint, because life really is an adventure, and it's there to give us the opportunity to learn. If we but we'll do it,   Bridget Cook-Birch ** 31:10 I would agree 1,000% it is an adventure, and I think, I think a lot of us will stay in this just just barely getting by, you know, scraping by, whether it's physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, financially, that we hold ourselves in in a box and we're afraid to venture out in the last few years like I love that you realize that people needed a way to overcome fear and really be able to face it and lean into it. And the last several years in our country, we've we've just been facing some things that have made fear come straight up in our face. I think there's a reason for that. I think all things happen for a reason, and it's time for humanity to be able to move beyond fear and to use it as a tool, as you mentioned, but but also as a stepping stone to so many greater things, including, you know, not not having to tear one another down. We've, we've been very territorial, and some of that is, you know, 1000s of years in our DNA of creating an us versus them so we can protect ourselves. And, you know, we've, we've held a lot of judgment for others, but there's this unique and beautiful thing that happens when we let down our walls. And yeah, we still need to discern. We need to, you know, if somebody tells us who they are, we need to believe them. But I also think there's so much good in people, and if we can begin to lift one another up, all the boats rise together, that humanity has some really exciting things in store.   Michael Hingson ** 32:57 We have been experiencing in so many ways from some of our political leaders, and I sort of put leaders in quotation marks, but we've been seeing so much fear. And the other thing is that a lot of people say, Well, I trust what this guy says. I trust what that guy says. And my response is, why do you trust them? Well, because he talks to me, he says what I want to hear again, whoever it is that they're talking about, and my response is, and where it gets back to the whole issue of fear is, how much of it do you verify? And it doesn't matter what political side you're on, how much of it do you really think about and analyze and really look at what one person or everyone is saying right now, I'm in California. We have the the one of the Senate races going on, and there are two major Democrats running, and one is Adam Schiff, who was involved in, of course, the whole issue of the investigation of January 6. And the other one is a woman named Katie Porter. And Adam Schiff's commercials oftentimes talk about, well, they play segments of speeches, and they do other things, and they talk about his accomplishments. And Katie Porter talks about, she doesn't take political PAC money, or federal or large corporate PAC money and other things like that. And when I heard a few of the commercials on both sides, I step back and I say, what is this person really done? Why do I want to vote for this person just because they don't take PAC money or what have they accomplished? What have they done to show me that they're truly going to be able to make our world better than than it is? And I think that it's my obligation as a voter to really look at that. And again, it doesn't matter whether it is in the Democratic side or the Republicans. Side, we really have to analyze, and if we do that, we won't be nearly as fearful of so many things as we are today.   Bridget Cook-Birch ** 35:08 I would agree with that. I'm I love what you have to say about that, because a lot of things have to do with tearing one another down, or, like you said, the fear based. But you know, what is someone's track record in building something, in creating something. So that's a very good point. Michael,   Michael Hingson ** 35:29 well, I think that we we really need to look at more than just listening to words. It's our job to to think about, to synthesize, to internalize and come up with answers based on everything, rather than relying on what some people say. I love all these conspiracy theorists all over the place are are so amazing. And you know, I don't know what to say, other than prove it, and   Bridget Cook-Birch ** 36:03 right know is that they know how to use the power of story. They just happen to be using it to tear people down. And if we're not careful, we can get sucked into a rabbit hole. And I love what you said, like more than words. What are they doing? But also, I think it's important for us to do our own research, not believe something just because everybody else says it. In fact, Michael, I had a funny experience last, last year, the year before, when some of these conspiracy theories were really hitting some high points. And there was a lot going on in terms of of human trafficking and and some of these world power theories on that. And, you know, we found out some of these were true in terms of of, you know, some high profile celebrities that got in trouble, when, when some things were going down. But was interesting because I I found out that I was on a hit list that was going out to many people that were going down these rabbit holes of conspiracy theories. And I was grateful that they were trying to do the work, but they accidentally put me on the other sheet, like, here's the enemies that we're going to go after, and then here are those people that actually will do the journalism and the research, and they'll help to bring it down. And I was supposed to be on the journalism and research and writing books that will help to bring you, know, bring down some of these monolithic crime units, and I ended up being accidentally put on the other list. And luckily, a friend of mine said, whoa, whoa, wait a minute before they publish the list. And she says she's actually see supposed to be on the on the other list. But I thought how quickly my reputation could have been ruined a split second, and that that is happening all across the United States, all across the world, and so that's why we have to stand for our own stories, because sometimes we're going to be put on the wrong list, or someone's going to hate something that we have to say. But But I also think it's, it's really important for us to take a stand for something. You know, we're really good at taking stands against things. But what are we what are we good at taking a stand for?   Michael Hingson ** 38:35 Yeah, so tell me, what do you think the deepest need is that humans have, and what do stories have to do with it?   Bridget Cook-Birch ** 38:44 I honestly deep question. It is a deep question, but it's cool, because I get to see it every day. So I'm glad that you asked that the deepest need that I see humans need is for significance. They need to know that they're here for a reason, that they're wanted, that they're needed, that they're seen and heard and valued by someone, and stories can go such a long way in doing this has to start inside of us, because whatever stories we're telling ourselves, we write the script for other people to treat us that way. I see that over and over as well. But then there's also, how do I present myself and my stories out in the world. Doesn't mean that everybody has to write a book or be a best selling author, but every day, we tell stories. We tell stories to ourselves. We tell stories to our spouses. We tell stories to our bosses and the people that are in our chain of command, or our associates. We tell stories to the the grocery clerk, and and and stories are really remarkable in their power. We were just talking about conspiracy theories, and I think we're seeing some huge things happening the last couple years in Russia too, how Russia was able, just like we've seen in the last several World Wars and other altercations, where propaganda could sway an entire nation to go up against their neighbor, who a lot of them were family members, and to believe lies about that neighboring nation. And so stories are relevant. They are important. Ever since we were around the campfire, you know, as early education of humans took place in the storytelling. At that point, we learned our roles, our responsibilities, what was possible, what we believed was impossible. And the beautiful thing is that we continue to show that we're way beyond what we once thought was impossible, and now the question is, is you know, what are we going to do with it? But stories are vital to humankind,   Michael Hingson ** 41:13 and we should appreciate them and love them and and use them to allow us to teach ourselves more things. You know, you talked earlier about fiction isn't so much about service. And I'm not totally sure I would say that. I think that the Yeah, fiction is intended to entertain. So a lot of non fiction, but, but the issue is, I think of books like the Harry Potter series, which really are so inspirational and offer so many lessons that all of us can use. And the reality is, some people say, Well, yeah, it's fiction. Well, really, so what? How many times do we hear about people who have done so many things that no one thought they or anyone can do. And one of my favorite stories is, of course, it was said for many years that no one could break the four minute mile. You would die before you could make the break the four minute mile, until Roger Banister did it in what 1956 I think it was, or 57 and then everybody started to do it, but people said that he would die before he would be able to do that, and it was a medical impossibility. But the reality is, he believed that he could, and he did,   Bridget Cook-Birch ** 42:33 I agree and and how beautiful that, that all of a sudden, he broke that entire barrier of beliefs for people. And I love that you mentioned Harry Potter. I love JK Rowling. I do too. I love what she's created. And she's done what a lot of people considered impossible, you know, a single mom with a little baby and that she had to care for, and she's riding on cocktail napkins, you know, on the train rides and and doing things. And she did something so extraordinary and reinvigorated an entire world, children and adults to want to read again. And how, how beautiful that is. And you're right, there's, there's so many lessons and other things and she does more than entertain, and I would agree with that. I also just want to share too that, you know, our world has changed quite a bit, and in which the literature for young people doesn't include as many of those profound elements of lessons and morals and friendships, and what do we do? There's a lot of darker elements to our entertainment for young people. And the one thing that I would caution in that is I can't tell you how many people you know who I've helped with their stories and write their books and other things, and they were heavily influenced by the media of that time, in that day. And so, you know, it's one of those things where I still think it's important for writers to be able to influence young people towards believing in themselves, believing in possibilities, and to believe that light can be greater than the darkness. I think we all need that right now.   Michael Hingson ** 44:28 I love Stephen King. I think he's a very creative writer, but I don't like to read nearly as much of the dark stuff as I used to. But I also think that he, like so many people, demonstrates a lot of creativity, especially in some of his earlier books, in a lot of different ways. And so I can appreciate that. And I think that any good author is one that you have to look just beyond the words to. What's going on in the story, what kind of creative things that that they bring to it. And he clearly is a good storyteller.   Bridget Cook-Birch ** 45:08 He's extremely talented. Yeah, he's jealous as I am, but charts talented, that's for sure, jealous   Michael Hingson ** 45:15 as I am. And, you know? And then there are others. Go to the Western Louis L'Amour and Zane gray. Now, Zane Gray, of course, long time ago, but one of the neat things about Zane Gray was, and is, with his stories, he's so descriptive, he draws you in and makes you feel like you're in the country he's writing about, and he talks so much about the land in the country that he he makes you feel you're there, which is so cool.   Bridget Cook-Birch ** 45:46 Oh, that's neat. I you know what? I've not read a lot of Zane Gray. I think only one or two of his back in the day, but I read a lot of Louis L'Amour Yeah. Also add Zane gray to my readers list.   Michael Hingson ** 45:58 I keep looking every so often, in case I find that there's a little and more book I haven't read because I really enjoy his writing. And yeah, a lot of them are all the same sort of basic plot, but, and it's the but, it's the difference, and his stories are all so good,   Bridget Cook-Birch ** 46:14 yeah. And it's interesting about Zayn gray too, finding out that he was a dentist, and always wonder like when he was working in people's mouths, was he, was he crafting plots and storylines, and, you know, other things, I think, and   Michael Hingson ** 46:29 telling stories? Yeah, now you mentioned once that Warren Buffett has an interesting quote that you think is extremely valuable. What is that?   Bridget Cook-Birch ** 46:38 Well, Warren Buffett, as as most people know, has been this incredibly influential business leader.   Michael Hingson ** 46:47 Talk about being a bright and creative guy, a bright and creative guy who's   Bridget Cook-Birch ** 46:51 who's worth so much more than any of us can not any of us, but many of us can conceptualize. And one of the things he's famous for teaching is, you know, if you want to be worth several times more in your lifetime, learn how to express yourself on paper and in person. So he truly believed in the power of story, and I think we've seen that through some of the smartest CEOs of our generation have been the creative storytellers, you know, the ones who who recognize the power of story, and then we're able to put that together. Apple is one of those, those fabulous examples of, you know, when they would fail and then when they could succeed spectacularly is when the storytelling got as good as the technology. The storytelling beam even better than the technology for that particular year, but they've been able to shine because of it.   Michael Hingson ** 47:57 Well, when Steve Jobs really started expressing his vision and talking about what a piece of technology should do and could do, and motivated people to then make it happen. That's so important, I think in an organization,   Bridget Cook-Birch ** 48:15 I think so too. I think so too. And I think we're going to be seeing more and more of that, and sometimes we see when, when some of these leaders fail, you know, they they tell too big of a story, and they can't manage the expectations, or they fall flat in the storytelling, or they hurt someone in the storytelling, which actually ends up not doing them good in the long run, but I think what's important is, can you be inspiring? Can you motivate? And can you be your word when you're when you're choosing to use those stories for for a greater good?   Michael Hingson ** 48:55 Another thing that's coming up, and I was going to call it the elephant in the room, but that's not fair to it. It's not fair to do that. But what about the whole issue of AI and chat, GPT and so on? Where do you see that that fits into the world today and going forward?   Bridget Cook-Birch ** 49:11 Well, that's a fascinating question. And you know, who asked me this the most are some of the young people when I'm on their podcast and I sound so old, like a grandma, and I am Grandma, you know, I'm a Mimi but, but the but these young podcasters, they want to know too, like, hey, you've been around the block. What do you think about AI? And I'm going to tell you something. There's some people who are completely against it, and they feel like we're going to hell in a hand basket really quickly because of AI and and then there are those who are saying, Hey, this is the end all, be all. And, you know, we shouldn't, and couldn't be doing anything without it. And I'm going to tell you, I'm I'm in the middle. I'm going to tell you why. Um, the reason I think that there is merit to AI is that there's certain things that it's going to do so much more quickly for us. It's going to help us with ideas, and in terms of writing, it's going to help us edit more quickly so we can communicate better. Where we run into trouble is if we're asking AI to be our brain, to be our creativity, to be our thinker. And sometimes people get really nervous about that, because they think kids will use AI and that they won't think on their own. But I will tell you this, the kids I've been seeing, even the young ones with AI, it sparks their imagination greater. They're asking smarter questions. They're wanting to see more. They're coming alive with a fire of creativity. They're not relegated to, oh, you couldn't spell a word to save your life. Well, this will spell the word for me, but I want to tell this story, and I want the graphics to look this way, and I want to create a movie and and it it enables the human imagination to take off. All I would say is, don't let it be your brain.   Michael Hingson ** 51:13 I had the honor to talk with someone a couple weeks ago, a gentleman named Glenn Gao, who's a e business coach and supports AI a great deal. He would agree with you and and me, by the way, I believe the same. One of the things that that he said was that he went to a company who wanted his coaching, and they talked about AI, and one day the CEO called his major people together and said, Take the day and study AI and then come back to my I think it was, the next day, and tell us how we should incorporate AI in one way or another, chat, GPT or whatever, into our business. And the creative, incredible ideas that people came back with the next day totally astounded the CEO, and they put things in place, and it improved the company a great deal, because the idea still is it shouldn't be the job of artificial intelligence, I think, no matter how advanced it gets, to be the end all and be all, as you said, it is Still something where I think there's a component of us that we're not going to be able to to create in the near future. Dr Ray Kurzweil would say, We'll join the human brain with with a computer, and that will change all that. I'm not convinced of that. And I know Ray, I used to work for him. I think that the reality is that artificial intelligence is a tool, and I think in the classroom, if teachers embrace it correctly, what they will do, if they think that students are starting to really use it to create their papers is teachers will get more creative and say, Okay, class, everyone's turned in their papers. Now I'm going to call on each of you, and you have a minute and a half to defend your paper in front of the whole class. I mean, there are ways to deal with it, to make sure that the students are really still doing what they should do. And I've used chat GPT to help compose some things that I've worked on. And for me, I get all that I can, I think, from the artificial intelligence system, and then I turn it into my own work by by changing things, adding things that AI didn't catch and I know making a much better article because I started using something else to help me, and I just view it as a collaborative effort, a team, and AI as part of the team.   Bridget Cook-Birch ** 53:53 And sometimes it can provide a really valuable framework for the imagination to take fire. So I, yeah, I'm with you on that. I think that there's a lot of beautiful things that can be used for   Michael Hingson ** 54:08 and I think over time, we'll realize that it's, it's such a big hot issue right now, but, you know, the internet was a big hot issue, and we still have the dark web today, and it's it's there with us, but people, by and large, have now accepted the value of the internet and what it can bring I have always believed it's a wonderful treasure trove of information, so I have a lot of fun exploring the internet. Haven't ever been to the dark web. Don't know where it is, and if I ever found it and I discovered it wasn't accessible, I'd see who I could go off and sue because they didn't make it accessible, but that's another story. That's my conspiracy for the day.   Bridget Cook-Birch ** 54:47 That's your conspiracy for the day. I've hired private detectives to go on the dark web to research situations for safety for my authors. But that's as far as I've gone.   Michael Hingson ** 54:58 I have. No idea how to get to the dark web or, you know, I mean, I can conceptually, intellectually understand the process, but would have no idea where to go to find it. So I have to, you'll have to tell me when we're done here. I've always been curious, but I hear what you're saying. And the reality is that the internet and AI are two tools that can enhance what we do so much, and I think people will eventually recognize that and will become better for it.   Bridget Cook-Birch ** 55:34 I think so too, and again, I just think we have to have faith in each other in humankind and in our own imagination. Yeah,   Michael Hingson ** 55:45 we just have to work on it, and we have to recognize and think it through and then take action. And we can learn to do that very well. I love to tell people, the best thing I think anyone could do is to take time at the end of the day and while you're falling asleep, think about what happened that day. Think about what worked, what didn't work, and even what worked, what could you do better with it? I never talk about failure, so the things that didn't work aren't failures. It's a learning experience, and we grow from it. And I think we can do that, but I think that it's what we have to do to become better than we are, and we can do that every single day, which is, for me, such a cool idea, and what I like to do. Well, what are some of the problems that you think exists in the world today that we as individuals can change?   56:34 How's that for a general   Michael Hingson ** 56:36 question, for you question,   Bridget Cook-Birch ** 56:37 Michael, Well, honestly, it's, it's pretty crazy. It's pretty wonderful. I I remember sometimes that I have felt helpless in the world when something has happened, particularly like in terms of of humankind, right? Sometimes there was a crime committed, and I felt helpless. Sometimes there was like a school shooting, and I felt helpless, a world disaster, and I felt helpless and I wanted to serve and do something in some capacity, and then I get asked to write a story, or I get asked to help an author, and it's just like God brings me a story to show for one thing for me to let down my judgments and and to see that there are so many solutions out there. So one of the things I'll I'll just say, is that you at talk about conspiracy theories, there is an author that I'm working with who has this tremendous story, and I can't tell you all about it today, but I'll, I'll be singing his praises to high heaven in in a few months. But what I will tell you is he had to come across one of the the roughest and nefarious conspiracy theorists of our time, and and he learned to own his voice, and he learned to be able to tell the truth In a really beautiful, extraordinary way, and part of that was was creating something that made other conspiracy theorists think twice before they were going to tell lies about individuals or families just for their own agenda or to make their own money. That's powerful. You know, when someone can use their own personal story to bring down a conspiracy theorist who's making millions of dollars based on those conspiracies that that tells you, again, the power of one person. I'm seeing world leaders do extraordinary things in terms of, how do we lift one another on the planet? How do we take care of our planet? As you know, nature is so important. Animals are so important. How are we going to take care of that? I love that you are one of those authors who in terms of accessibility and making sure that that people are being taken care of in all their forms. You're you're one that brings solutions. So I love that. Can I share story?   Michael Hingson ** 59:29 Oh, sure.   Bridget Cook-Birch ** 59:31 Okay, so one of the things we've been facing, as we've been discussing, is the last several years, this predilection for humankind to tear down one another in our fear. And I had the opportunity to work with an extraordinary person. His name is Gary Lee price, and he faced a lot of that tearing down when he was a child. He had. A mother and stepfather who he lost through murder suicide on an army base in Mannheim, Germany, and he and his baby brother were shipped from the frying pan back into a couple of horrific situations, and Gary himself faced all kinds of abuse, the worst kinds of abuse and and really a slavery in his own house and, and part of it was because the adults were working nights and they didn't know that he was being tortured and abused. And instead of becoming a horrific, violent, bitter person, Gary found God, and he found art, and he became a very famous painter in his area by the time he was in high school, but was when he found this three dimensional miracle called clay that all of a sudden his imagination took flight literally, and he's, to this day, created 1000s of sculptures that lift humankind, and they're in corporate offices and arboretums and churches and outside the Vatican and in the Hong Kong library like they are all over But in terms of solving human problems or inspiring our solving of problems. Gary was asked to create a symbol that was inspired by Dr Victor Frankel. And you know who that is, right? So he had survived four Nazi concentration camps in three years, and he lost his entire family to the gas chambers, into illness and and he got out, and he wrote this extraordinary book, Man's Search for Meaning. And in that book, eventually, and also when he would teach in the United States, he would say, you know, in the United States, it's wonderful that you have the Statue of Liberty on the East Coast. And he said, but in Vienna, we learned that that Liberty itself is not the only answer. You need to have responsibility, because without responsibility, there is no liberty. And you know, he'd seen irresponsibility and anarchy and dictatorship and annihilation. And so anyway, Dr Stephen Covey thought, wouldn't it be awesome to honor Dr Frankel with creating a symbol of the statue of responsibility, and Gary created this symbol. And after everything he'd been through as a child, when he was thinking, what is a symbol that can inspire all of humankind? And it was the symbol of one hand reaching down to grasp another to lift it up. And he says, Sometimes we're the hand reaching down, and sometimes we're the hand reaching up. And here's the COVID, Michael. In our lifetime, in fact, very soon from now, we will be seeing the beginning of the building of the statue of responsibility, and it will be 305 feet tall to match the Statue of Liberty, and it will have interactive museums and discussions for children, like, what does responsibility mean? And there's, there's many other things, but this is one of the ways that stories can change the world for the better, and symbols and art and imagination can lift us rather than destroy us,   Michael Hingson ** 1:03:47 and it should be that way. Well, tell me you've written a number of books that have become bestsellers. How does that happen that they become bestsellers?   Bridget Cook-Birch ** 1:03:58 Well, it can happen a number of different ways, especially you've probably noticed, but publishing has changed tremendously over the last 20 years. Yes, and there used to be a time when traditional publishing was pretty much the only way, and there were a few people who wrote books and and and they would do their best to get it out there. And if it was accepted by traditional publishing, it was such a glorious thing, but most people only sold between 250 and 300 books in their lifetime. And then we had the advent of Amazon, and then we had the advent of self publishing, which I'm not going chronological self publishing, it's been around for a long time. Vanity press, also for a long time, and also indie publishing, which helps to create every service you would get through traditional publishing, but you get to keep your own intellectual property and most. Of your proceeds, rather than the lion's share going to traditional and I've had the luxury and pleasure of being able to work on all sides of that like my first two books were published through a small publisher who took a chance and shattered silence when it was on. Oprah became their number one best seller for two years in a row. So it was a win for them, and it was a huge win for me. And then my third book, when it came out, we had a New York agent, and she negotiated an incredible deal with a chat and Grand Central publishing, which was one of their publishing labels underneath a shet so one of the largest publishers in the entire world, and I got to see all the beautiful machinations that New York publishing offers, all the services, all the wonders of that and the credibility that goes along with it, and and also, since that time, I've also been able to help people with national and international bestsellers on Amazon, and that's a different ball game. It's different than a New York Times or a Wall Street Journal bestseller, and it has to do with there's there's two aspects of it is, number one, making sure that all the information is set up well, and that you're in the right categories, and that you're being seen and being visible. And then the other part of the strategy is that you know, you get everyone that's in your inner circle and anyone and everybody in your family and friends and everything else, to purchase your book on the same day, close to the same time, because it raises your visibility in the ranks. And you want to become a hot, new best seller on Amazon. You want other people's eyes to be able to see it. And if you're lucky enough to have an international team, then you can often become an international bestseller and be seen in countries like France and Australia and Canada and and other things. So it's it can be a game and and you've gotta be careful, because in every every industry, they're scammers, yeah. And in terms of of indie publishing and self publishing and traditional publishing, there are scammers out there, and you've got to watch it, but it's it's a smart and fun business. Part of the business strategy in terms of pre launch, launch and post launch, you just need to make sure that you're working with reputable people who care about the longevity of your book, not just a flash in the pan, but something that's going to serve people and have a ripple effect, you know, you hope for 50 years from now, right? And that someone halfway across the world can be absolutely inspired by your book, yeah.   Michael Hingson ** 1:08:01 And whenever I get comments from people, even today, some 13 years later, and I think that will continue to happen. But who say I read your book and it's it's such a joy to hear that I'm able to help inspire people and show them something, because it's about it's about them, it's not about me, and that's really the way it should be. Well, last question for you, what's one thing that you would advise someone who wants to write a book for the first time and maybe is a little bit reluctant to do it,   Bridget Cook-Birch ** 1:08:39 so fiction or non fiction? Yes. Okay, I usually have a little different answer, but I will tell you this for whoever your main character is. So if it's non fiction, that main character is going to be you. If it's fiction, you will have an aspect of yourself in that character, but I highly recommend that you put together a chronological timeline, because every good story has backstory, and then it has the current story, and then it also has where you're taking the reader and the journey that you're taking them on. And a lot of times when we're thinking of stories, or writing stories, or writing about our own stories, we'll take down little bits and pieces, but we don't always remember the order in which they happened, or why we reacted a certain way, or certain things happened. When we put together a chronology for our character, there's so much magic that happens. You see patterns of story like, oh, we had this conversation, and then he said this, and I reacted this way, and then I got this phone call, and I said, Yes, and all of a sudden we realized, wow, there were five things that raised the stakes, that built up the tension, that. Created a change in the decision and a commitment to that change, or whatever it might might be, and we understand ourselves better, or we understand our characters better, but we can also tell a much better story to our readers,   Michael Hingson ** 1:10:20 makes perfect sense. And as I think back on thunder dog, although I didn't up front specifically thinking the way you're talking about that is the way the book actually ended up not only being written, but I had the tools that really did go in chronological order. So I was guided to do it, I guess, but it was a lot of fun, and certainly now with the new book, live like a guide dog. We, we definitely spent a lot of time on making sure that it that we did things in a very chronological way, and looked at it a lot of times, kept going back over

So we like to cover books and have guests on the show to talk about emotions so we can be better leaders and based on the number of listens, you like to explore those topics with us. And there's one emotion we realized was suspiciously absent from our list. And that emotion was grief. As some of you know we recently lost the dog we've had the pleasure of loving and caring for, over the last 7 years, Caitlin. She was a very spicy 13 yo Frenchie and we are so grateful to her breeder who thought it would be great for her to live her later years with us. There were several things that the event of losing Cait, as we liked to call her, brought to the forefront as I went through the process of grieving. Here's what we'll cover in the episode so you can choose to listen or not and it's okay if it's not – grief is a complex and difficult topic, particularly if you're going through something right now.   Topics Covered:      What is grief? And we'll reference Brené Brown's Atlas of the Heart for that.      Is the grief of losing a pet different from losing a person we love?       Can grief bring other losses to the forefront?       Is the experience of grief different if it's sudden rather than having the time to prepare?         How do emotions around grief like guilt manifest themselves?         What does the author, David Kessler, have to say about the Sixth Stage of Grief of finding meaning?       What does the author, Victor Frankel, say about grief?     Here are 3 takeaways from our episode:   1.   Grief is deeply personal and complex: Grief isn't limited to the death of a loved one and can manifest through a wide range of emotions, often involving sadness, guilt, or anger. 2.   Grieving a pet can bring up layered losses: The loss of a pet can trigger cumulative grief, where past losses reemerge and intensify the current experience. While society may not always acknowledge the depth of pet grief, it can be just as profound as grieving a loved one. Pets provide emotional support and companionship, making their absence felt in everyday life. 3.    Finding meaning is a crucial part of healing: David Kessler's "Sixth Stage of Grief" teaches that healing goes beyond accepting loss; it's about discovering meaning in the aftermath. This process helps us honor the memory of what we've lost and find purpose in life again. Meaning is personal and can come from ongoing connections with loved ones, rituals, or reflecting on the lessons their lives offered.   Mentioned in the Episode:   Atlas of the Heart by Brené Brown Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief by David Kessler On Death and Dying Elisabeth Kubler-Ross Motherless Daughters and The AfterGrief by Hope Edelmann Man's Search for Meaning by Victor Frankel Bittersweet by Susan Cain https://www.amazon.com/    Ep 23 Part 1 of 2 – Bittersweet (Susan Cain): How do Sorrow and Longing Help Us Lead? https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/znsJe8hFlNb   Ep 24 Part 2 of 2 – Bittersweet (Susan Cain): How do the Arts Play a Role in Seeing Our Whole Selves? https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/xtihY7hFlNb   Ep 111 – More About Daniel Pink's ‘Power of Regret' – From Regrets to Resilience https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/JIv88ffFlNb   How to reach Yo Canny:    Our Store: www.girltaketheleadpod.com/store    Our Website: www.girltaketheleadpod.com  You can send a message or voicemail there. We'd love to hear from you!   email: yo@yocanny.com   FB group: Girl, Take the Lead https://www.facebook.com/groups/272025931481748/?ref=share   IG: yocanny (Yo)   YouTube   LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/yocanny/

In this special episode of Real World Peaceful Parenting, Lisa Smith hands over the reins to Hive member Neil, who interviews her with real-life parenting questions. Covering everything from handling money conversations with kids to how peaceful parenting principles apply to pets, this "Ask Me Anything" episode offers deep insights and practical advice for parents looking to transform their relationships with their children. Whether you're a Hive member or a first-time listener, this episode is packed with valuable lessons that can help you become a more peaceful, present, and connected parent. What You'll Learn: How to handle big decisions like whether to have another child using a process that reduces anxiety and stress. The key differences between peaceful, dominant, and permissive parenting and why setting rules helps kids feel safe and secure. How to apply peaceful parenting techniques to pets, ensuring consistency in how you show up as a leader. The importance of healing your own childhood wounds and how it affects the way you parent. How peaceful parenting impacts all relationships, not just the one with your kids, but with your partner, colleagues, and friends too. Lisa's personal influences and top book recommendations, from Victor Frankel to Byron Katie, that shape her coaching style and philosophy.  

On today's episode of The Wholesome Fertility Podcast, Naomi shares her personal fertility journey and how she discovered the mind-body link in fertility. She emphasizes the importance of mindset and emotional well-being in the fertility process. We discuss the concept of toxic positivity and the need to embrace and process uncomfortable emotions.    Naomi highlights the science-backed positive psychology techniques that can reduce stress and improve fertility success rates. Mind-body techniques can improve mental health, relationships, and overall quality of life.  Naomi emphasizes the importance of feeling good and finding joy during the fertility journey. She shares the power of hypnotherapy and emotional freedom technique (EFT) in shifting beliefs and accessing the subconscious mind.    Takeaways The mind-body link plays a crucial role in fertility, and mindset and emotional well-being are important factors to consider. Toxic positivity can be harmful, and it is essential to embrace and process uncomfortable emotions. Science-backed positive psychology techniques, such as mindfulness and hypnosis, can reduce stress and improve fertility success rates. Mind-body techniques not only improve fertility outcomes but also enhance mental health, relationships, and overall quality of life. Managing stress and finding joy during the fertility journey can improve overall well-being and increase pregnancy success rates. Hypnotherapy and emotional freedom technique (EFT) can be powerful tools in shifting beliefs and accessing the subconscious mind. Challenging medical assumptions and seeking second opinions can provide new perspectives and options for fertility treatment. Feeling good and having positive emotions can have a significant impact on fertility and overall health. The Embrace Fertility Method offers a comprehensive approach to fertility support, incorporating various techniques and personalized guidance.     Guest Bio:    Naomi Woolfson, of Embrace Fertility, is a trauma trained therapist specialising in supporting women emotionally and energetically to conceive, carry and birth the babies they long to hold.   Alongside supporting clients globally in one to one therapy and coaching sessions Naomi runs an online 12 week mind-body group programme guiding women through the 5 steps of her unique Embrace Fertility Method; Comfort, Coping, Connection, Clearing and finally Creating.      Naomi hosts the Embrace Fertility podcast offering emotional support and sharing mind-body techniques to help you feel calm and confident and ultimately find yourself again while waiting for your baby.   Personally Naomi and her partner went through almost 4 years of infertility, IUI's, IVF, anxiety, surgery and a miscarriage before conceiving both of their children naturally.   Visit www.embracefertility.co.uk for instant access to Thrive - A deep dive into the science backed mind-body techniques to emotionally and energetically thrive while trying to conceive. 3 x 30 min videos.    Naomi also offers specialist pregnancy support and runs the hypnobirthing course Embrace Bump to Baby of which the first week is free.    Instagram @embracefertility https://www.youtube.com/@embracefertility https://www.linkedin.com/in/naomi-woolfson/   For more information about Michelle, visit: www.michelleoravitz.com   Check out Michelle's latest book here: https://www.michelleoravitz.com/thewayoffertility   The Wholesome FertilityFacebook group is where you can find free resources and support: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2149554308396504/   Instagram: @thewholesomelotusfertility   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thewholesomelotus/     Transcript:   Michelle (00:00) Welcome to the podcast, Naomi. I'm so excited to have you on today.   Naomi (00:04) Thank you for having me.   Michelle (00:06) Yes. So I would actually, first of all, love if you could tell your story because I know you've been through your own fertility journey. And I also, of course, I'm going to be very excited to talk to you today because as you know, this is like I nerd out on like the mind, body and just like how the mind works. And so I'm really excited to have you on. And then I just wanted for you to introduce yourself and give us your background.   Naomi (00:34) Yeah, so I went through infertility myself. We ended up having four rounds of fertility treatment. I was actually diagnosed with endometriosis as a teenager and told that I would probably need IVF to have children. But got married and I was like, nope, that's not gonna be me. I could be one of those women with endometriosis that just gets pregnant and it's fine. And I was very into the law of attraction and the secret and...   manifesting and set those intentions. I just set the intention. I was like, we're ready for a baby now. Come on. And then nothing happened. And then, you know, I was manifesting, I was doing my vision boards, my affirmations. And instead of getting a baby, I got ovarian cysts and ended up needing to have surgery. And they were like, you really, you know, really push you like into treatment now, like your endometriosis is getting worse, like every month you're not getting pregnant.   endometriosis is spreading. So I had a laparoscopy, they removed the cysts, did some laser action on the endometriosis, did treatment, didn't work, did more treatment, didn't work. And I was getting more and more anxious, more and more depressed. I was like, this isn't how it's supposed to be. And was feeling awful. And then found out about the mind body link and learned that it wasn't the fact I wasn't getting pregnant.   Michelle (01:34) Hehehe   Naomi (01:57) that was causing the anxiety and the panic attacks. It was my thoughts about the fact I wasn't getting pregnant. And this blew my mind because I was so interested in meditation and the law of attraction and all these things already, but I'd never really put that together. I was like, all right, so that means I don't have to wait till I get pregnant to then be okay. And they're like, yep, that's it. And I was like, no, don't believe that. That, just no.   And then as I was practicing mindfulness, like really getting in touch with what was going on and the beliefs I had about pregnancy, the beliefs I had about my body, came to this place of acceptance and actually felt happier then than I ever had in the past, even though I was yet to be pregnant. And then actually our fourth round of fertility treatment was successful and I got pregnant, but then I miscarried.   Michelle (02:47) Mm.   Naomi (02:54) And instead of going back into depression and anxiety, I actually felt hopeful for the future and then conceived naturally three months later after the miscarriage and then have my daughter naturally two years later. And so throughout all of this decided that I had to share these techniques. So I actually left my career in design while I was going through IVF, retrained as a hypnotherapist and was actually working and supporting women in this field like two years into my journey and then it was like another two years before I got pregnant myself.   Michelle (03:29) That's such an amazing story. And I love it for so many different reasons. And again, I apologize for the background noise if anybody's hearing that. but it's, it's incredible in so many ways. You know, the book I thought about when you were talking about that, have you ever read Man's Search for Meeting by Victor Frankel? And that blew my mind because I think that we are so conditioned and I think it is kind of like second nature to say, okay, well,   Naomi (03:45) Mm. Yeah.   Michelle (03:55) We can't possibly feel good if we're going through something that is difficult. That book specifically was like the most extreme of like what you could possibly go through. He was, you know, in a concentration camp. I mean, so you can't get worse than that. And the way he discussed about how we have one freedom that's left over, and that's the freedom of how we choose to view things.   And I think that is so profound because I really do feel like people think that they have no choice. So how did you finally, not just realize this, but also because you could realize it and you can hear it. And then sometimes you can fight that. So how did you like surrender to that and say, okay, you know, there's maybe, maybe it is how I'm looking at it. Cause that's a hard thing to go through.   Naomi (04:50) Yeah, and it was very much that I did fight it because my friend actually bought me that book like while we were going through Yeah, and I was like Why aren't you giving me this like well, that's depressing literally just put it on my shelf and I was like I'm too depressed to read something because it was so triggering and was and I was like I you know, I can't read that and it wasn't until like years later that like picked off the shelf and I was like this is what   Michelle (04:55) This book that I just mentioned? wow.   Naomi (05:18) that's why you wanted me to read it. But at the time I just wasn't receptive to that. But also with when people first started saying to me, it's like, you can be happy even without a baby. And all I could hear in that was them telling me to stop wanting a baby. And I was like, I've wanted a baby since I was like two and a half and my mum had my younger brother. I can't switch off me wanting to be a mum.   who I'm supposed to be, that's what I'm supposed to be. I really believed that. I was like, I can't turn that off. And then it was as I got deeper into it, they're like saying, they're not saying turn that off. They're saying stop desperately wanting it so much and believing that that's the thing that's suddenly gonna make everything okay. Because it's also they now I'm supporting women, they get that positive pregnancy test and they don't go, amazing. Well, I feel amazing now.   Michelle (05:47) Yeah.   Naomi (06:11) just a whole new set of worries come in, a whole new set of anxiety, because then they're like, well, now I need to get to the eight week scan, now I need to get to the 12 week scan, so here's a 20 week scan. Whereas if you can learn to come to that place, and I think for me, it was a combination of mindfulness meditation, journaling, emotional freedom technique, really exploring what my thoughts were doing to me. Like my thoughts were literally making me physically sick.   Michelle (06:17) Mm -hmm.   Mm -hmm.   Naomi (06:40) having panic attacks, I wasn't sleeping, my digestion was all over the place, I had IBS and it was because of my my thinking I was making myself ill and it was only when I really sort of started to accept that that I could start to change whereas to start with was like no I just need to get pregnant as quickly as possible that will fix the anxiety I won't have panic attacks anymore once I'm pregnant, it'll be fine but obviously then it was months and months and months more of trying to conceive and it's living in that discomfort where you don't need to. So that's what I talk about a lot. It's like you don't have to live in this waiting zone of limbo. You can be happy now, you can be joyous now and still really, really, really want a baby and still be doing all the things you need to help you get pregnant, but not have that desperation and that like, if this doesn't happen this month, the world will end.   Michelle (07:37) Yeah. I mean, what you're saying right now is so profound and true and important because I think that part of it is just how we've been conditioned just as a people. I think everywhere, modern day times, everything's a quick fix. And really the outside is revered as like really the material world is revered as like the end all be all where in ancient times they've always pointed us internally.   Go within, go within, go within. The answer is within. And now you tell somebody that they're like, what do you mean? Like within, I want to get, let's be realistic. Okay. You know, so what's, but what is reality ultimately, right? But a reflection of our internal world, but we're trying to fix the reflection. I mean, this is really how I see it. There is a reflection. We know this also with quantum physics. There is something to that, that   Naomi (08:15) Thanks.   Michelle (08:35) everything that happens outside of us is really reflection. And that's not, I just want to say this, not to blame anybody. This isn't saying that it's your fault or anything like that, or that you can control everything. Not at all, but that internal world does have an impact really on your life. And I think that it's often overlooked, it's often ignored, and we get so hyper -focused on really what I would call the reflection rather than going.   within and starting from within where that in tandem is really beneficial. So not that the outside means nothing and it's just an illusion, but it is really important to address the inside. And I think that you're saying that you can actually feel happy and at peace while you're going through something difficult would be very hard to believe for a lot of people. And this is what I love is that you   have been there. It's not like you're just saying, you know, hypothetically, it would be really like easy for you. No, you know, you actually went through this and discovered it on your own journey.   Naomi (09:44) And I think that's so interesting is like, you know, now I have my two kids, they're both ginger, they're both born in June. It's like, it literally, the way it turned out, even though it took more years to happen, what I wanted has now, now exists. I wanted ginger babies, I wanted them to have June birthdays so we could have a giant bouncy castle, you know, garden birthday party. These things all happened, but now there are other things in my life.   that test me in the same way. And it's remembering, it's like going, you know, we'll feel happy and relaxed, like when we get to this point or, you know, summer holidays are a few weeks by a lot, we're just going to just get through these few weeks. And again, it's like we're rushing through life instead of being like, well, where's the joy in today? How do I want to be today? And instead of just being like, here's my to -do list, I'm going to plod through and cross through these things off. And it's like, well, no, every day.   Michelle (10:21) Hehe.   Mm -hmm.   Naomi (10:42) can be that gift and can be that, how do I wanna show up? And so it's like, you learn these techniques and it's not just to get you pregnant and then you're like, brilliant, pregnant now, can throw all this in the bin and move on. It's like, it's been constantly helpful throughout pregnancy, throughout labor, while the kids were tiny, like now they're starting to get bigger, you know, it's more dealing with the emotional storms that they're.   Michelle (10:56) Mm -hmm.   Naomi (11:09) going through rather than physical things like when they were younger. And so it's having these tools and techniques to fall back on each time and being like, they're my rock, like they're my foundation of how I do life. And so then if I don't practice them and kind of fall off the wagon, and then I'll really notice that. And it'll be like, you know, if you haven't brushed your teeth, you can really feel it and you're like, my teeth don't feel quite right. I feel the same now. It's like, if I don't meditate or don't journal,   Michelle (11:24) in.   Yeah.   Naomi (11:38) or I walked in the woods, I'm like, just my mind feels a bit icky, a bit like, I'm not, what's wrong? I haven't been for a walk. I haven't flossed my teeth. You know, it's that same, like, sort of, just something feels a bit off.   Michelle (11:43) Young.   Yeah. And I think that, we almost don't realize like how off we feel until we start to do things that are good for us. And then we're like, this feels really good. And I can't really go back because then that doesn't feel right. And I think that that's what it is. I feel like meditation is like mental hygiene. It's like   Naomi (12:09) Yeah. Yeah. And it's so often people are, they get really busy. And so you're like, I'll drop that. And I love that quote that it's like, if you're, you know, if you're, if you're busy, you should meditate for an hour a day. If you're really busy, you should meditate for two. And I just love that because it's so true when we get busy, we're like, we drop the things that are really good for us and can allow us to traverse the busyness and the things in life.   in a much more elegant way.   Michelle (12:38) Yes, totally. It's almost like when you're taking, I always look at the branches and the flowers and everything really comes from the root. And if you're ignoring the root where everything comes from and really not feeding the plant itself and nourishing, how is it supposed to sprout? How is it supposed to flower? You can't expect it to do that unless you're taking care of it. And I think that we need to, we must.   care of ourselves, like in every way. If we're expecting things from our body, if we want longevity, I mean, that's really the core of vitality.   For sure. And then let's talk about, okay, so we hear, and this is a pretty common thing in the fertility world, you know, this idea of, obviously there's science -backed positive psychology, which we know about, and then there's something called toxic positivity, which isn't as helpful. And then what happens is, which I find to be a shame, is that sometimes people get so like turned off.   by that, that they're not even willing to look at the science which actually can in fact help.   Naomi (13:47) Yeah, definitely. I think because there's this whole kind of culture of, if you just relax, it will happen. If you just stop thinking about it, if you just like the best yet, it's like, if you just stop trying, then you'll get pregnant. And I always used to say, it's like, this isn't going to be an immaculate conception. Like if we stopped trying, there will be no baby because we're not trying. And what people are trying to communicate is stop being so desperate. Stop like desperately   Michelle (14:07) Right, right.   Naomi (14:16) grasping for what you want, but if you tell someone who really wants something to stop wanting it, or you tell someone who's really stressed to stop being stressed, or you tell someone who's really worried to stop worrying, all you're doing is adding another worry, another stress, onto that list because now they're like, hang on, you're basically now saying that's my fault that I'm stressed, that I want it too much. And saying to a woman who's like, I was so   Michelle (14:32) Mm -hmm.   Right.   Naomi (14:44) sure I wanted to be a mum and I was so ready and I couldn't understand how my husband and I when we were newly married   We had like our home, like we were all ready to go and it wasn't happening for us. And I couldn't understand why like babies were being sent to other couples who, or you know, single men who weren't ready and didn't actually even want a baby. That was so confusing to me. And so then people saying to me, it's like, stop wanting it so much, like just stay positive and stick a smile on. And when I started researching into more, it's actually really, it can be really negative for you.   to try and remain positive all the time, because we're not designed to stay positive all the time. We're actually hardwired to notice the negative more than the positive to keep us safe. we're literally like primed like the whole time checking. And then if you take that, and it's also where like, we shouldn't really call any emotions negative. If we feel emotions that feel uncomfortable in the body that we label as negative.   we like shove them down and we're like, I don't want to feel like I don't want to feel. And so we try and numb out, scroll on our phones, like, you know, drinking, partaking in habits, like watching TV that we don't really want to watch, like all these things or comfort eating, things to kind of numb out these feelings and we shove them down. And all that happens is they build and they build and they build. At some point they'll come out. For me, it's panic attacks. For other people, it can be like a burst of rage or it can be just like bursting into tears in a meeting.   because there hasn't been an outlet to feel, experience, embrace those emotions that you're feeling. And once you start doing that, I can feel petrifying because so many of us, since we were like small children, you fall over, you cry, and you're told, you're okay. Don't cry. Stop crying. Here, lolly or here, have a toy. Here, be distracted. Swallow that pain down. No, we don't want to see it. That's not welcome here. And so when we start,   Michelle (16:30) Right.   Naomi (16:41) And a lot of the time the emotions we have, yeah, you're like, it's not okay for me. You know, I shouldn't cry, especially if it's like, if you're like really probably ugly cry like, you know, and you're like, like.   Michelle (16:42) It's that judgment. You feel that judgment.   I between. I only have an ugly cry. I almost wish I was one of those people that just like has a straight face and a beautiful tear. Nope.   Naomi (16:56) I guess you see my... little tear.   It's so raw and it's so animal. We're not used to allowing ourselves to really express ourselves in that way. And this is why I love emotional freedom technique, that you're literally using a technique that says, I embrace and accept all of this stuff. It's uncomfortable and I don't want it, but it's part of me, therefore I accept it. And as soon as we accept something, the resistance to it lessens. And then we're like, maybe that isn't as...   Michelle (17:24) Yeah.   Naomi (17:31) awful as I thought it was going to be and you can just sit with things a little bit. I've gone from a complete to a complete, but yes, so with toxic positivity, you're kind of basically going like, I'm fine. Everything is fine. Even, literally even women who've like had a miscarriage haven't told anyone, still gone into work, done these massive presentations and they're like.   Michelle (17:33) Yeah.   Yeah, keep that smile on your face.   Naomi (17:54) and then they wonder where they get home that night, go completely batshit crazy out their partner and have a full down meltdown and it's like it had to come out at some point and you've let it build and build and build instead of giving yourself the time and space to go I'm gonna sit and I'm gonna feel this now.   Michelle (18:14) Yeah, it's so important. And I've really like, I love the book, The Untethered Soul. He talks a lot about leaning into those uncomfortable emotions, because our knee jerk reaction is to stop anything that doesn't feel comfortable or good. And that is where the blocks happen. Because what we're doing is we're not actually removing it. We're actually keeping it in place by like not allowing it to process and to, I feel like it's like   emotions. You have to almost digest it so that it can go through and be processed because it's important to do that. But I love that book because he describes it in such a clear and easy to understand way on how you lean into it. Basically, you just sit with   Naomi (18:48) Yes.   Michelle (19:07) So it's not this internal denial of emotions. what's the science -backed positive psychology that you were referring to?   Naomi (19:17) Yeah, so a lot of my work, so my training is in cognitive hypnotherapy and everything, the training I'm in was like look at those studies, look at, you know, what's the evidence behind this? So we can obviously experience these techniques ourselves, see what many clients and seen the shift, seen the transformations that happen when they use these techniques and we do this work.   but I love going to the studies as well to really back up and go, because so many people are still like, that's really woo woo, that's really like out there. And I'm like, we've got studies. So some of them, to share through the negative ones to start with, are that women undergoing infertility treatment experience the same level of stress, anxiety and depression as women who have cancer, HIV or heart disease.   Michelle (19:51) Mm -hmm.   love it.   Naomi (20:09) So this is a real serious thing. This isn't like, I'm a little bit stressed because I can't have a baby. This is like massive, huge stress caused by the fertility treatment. So however stressed you were in life before this point, the treatment itself is adding to it. So in the post -traumatic stress disorder can develop in a third of women after miscarriage or eptopic pregnancy.   Michelle (20:14) Mm -hmm.   Naomi (20:34) and women who've experienced at least one unsuccessful IVF cycle and had depressive symptoms before continuing treatment experience the lowest success rate, which is probably one of the most depressing statistics I've ever had. You've had treatment to help you have a baby, it hasn't worked, and then if you start getting depressed about it, the next treatment has a lower chance of success. It's just such a depressing statistic.   Michelle (20:47) Mm -hmm.   Naomi (21:03) So of every statistic, I'm like, well, let's find the flip side of that. So that's a percentage of people. This study is saying this. Of every study, I like to find the flip side that backs up what that's saying, but with the positive or the opposite information. So that's where we come to things like using mindfulness is effective in reducing anxiety in women going through infertility by 76%.   Michelle (21:06) Mm -hmm.   Naomi (21:32) and reducing depression by 46%. Using hypnosis during embryo transfer can significantly improve IVF success rates and implantation rates. Depression, anxiety and stress among couples using emotional freedom technique was significantly less than those not using it. And the studies that show by practicing mind body techniques, you can actually double your chances of pregnancy success.   And they've shown that women going through the mind body studies at the IVF Boston Clinic, we're just having a better success rate within the six months that followed of them practicing these techniques. So this is kind of a slow burn. These aren't like, meditate for a day. You're going to get pregnant. This is more like, this is a lifestyle choice that I'm then implementing. I'm making this part of my, my life for the next few months. And then you're going to be improving your   Michelle (22:17) Mm -hmm.   Mm -hmm.   Naomi (22:29) chances and I've done a little, let me show you that. So these are the things that mind body techniques decrease are anxiety, depression, stress, anger, worry, jealousy and fear. And it improves quality of life, your relationship with others and yourself, resilience, hope and pregnancy success rates. So it's very much like the pregnancy success rates always say is like the cherry on the top. All the other things are like, that's what we want to be focused on. We're getting you happy.   managing stress, getting you to feel really good. And then a pregnancy is like, yay, that's the extra bit, but we're doing this for you and your wellbeing.   It's like getting you feeling good, improving your quality of life during this time allows you to then be making decisions from a place of confidence, calm confidence, rather than a place of fear. Like I felt like I kept going into treatment because I was being told that was the only option for me, that that was the best option for me. And for the first...   three rounds of treatment I did, I was so stressed, I hated it. And it was just so, so hard. And then I started practicing these techniques. So the fourth round of treatment I did was a breeze and so, so different from the three before. Then I got pregnant naturally anyway. So it's like, but it's having these techniques that made what I was going through, it just felt completely different on that fourth round.   Michelle (23:42) Mm -hmm.   Yes. And also, I don't know if you've heard of the study about laughter therapy after transfers improves the chances of pregnancy mean, that's pretty wild, like that endorphins and laughter and being in this kind of state that's elevated could really impact that ability for it to stick. And then I suggest for people to do it really throughout the IVF, like just...   Watch comedies. Don't watch anything too heavy. Lift your emotions I'm like a huge fan of Dr. Joe Dispenza's work and I've been going to   and he talks a lot about the studies and really the two main things that they deduce from everything, from the techniques that he does, the two big things are your thoughts and your emotions.   So it's not just your thoughts. This is kind of like the emotions are sort of like that magic ingredients that activates the thoughts. That's why some people have a hard time with just doing affirmations because when you're just thinking or saying the same thing over without any emotion tied, then it's not as effective. So having a heightened state of emotion is what really impacts a lot of what happens in our bodies and how our bodies respond.   people really overcoming major, major diseases that they are told by the experts cannot be overcome because that is working through that material world versus the quantum, which is really where our minds, the worlds of our minds, that is the thing that we can access that we can't access through the material world. Yes, we could try to do things. We can...   take things out and do the surgery and do all the physical things that we need that take a little longer and are more dense. It's a more dense approach, not to say that it shouldn't exist. But then there's the other non -dense approach, which is the mind and coming to that place where you're able to shift things in a different level. Just like you said with meditation, you want more time, meditate longer. That's because you're going to a place where you're able to, I believe,   make magic and so elevating that emotion and now we know really with studies like the heart math, I'm sure you've looked into that, right? Heart math and how our hearts and brains have a coherence. Well, Chinese medicine has been saying that for thousands of years and then we know that the heart impacts the uterus. So having that heart and now we're seeing it in studies. I mean, all the things that you're listing are pretty much   pointing in that direction, how we feel in our life, how we feel in our world. And I think the biggest thing that you said that was just so spot on is that you can actually feel good while going through these things. Like that is the biggest like, my God, because I think that a lot of people don't really realize it. This is why I want to repeat that again, because you can feel good. You could thrive.   Naomi (27:02) Yeah.   Michelle (27:05) while you're going through this journey.   Naomi (27:08) I remember that like once I'm actually crying like tears of joy and still trying to conceive I kind of remember what happened it was something like really small thing like I think I was just sat in the park and the sun was saying and it was so beautiful and I just sat and I just had a little cry but of joy and I don't think I'd ever cried from from joy before and it kind of was like wow that this feels   so powerful, I'm so overcome with positive emotion right now that I'm having this massive physical reaction to it. And I was just like, that's pretty special. That's pretty special that I'm now so open and I've managed to clear all of, because before I used to have this ongoing repetitive thought of like, what if you never get pregnant? What if the endometriosis just gets worse and then...   you have to have a hysterectomy and then that's it. Like, you know, it's like the thoughts were just this, they're like churning, churning. I'd like to wake up in the morning and my thoughts would just, would just be like attacking me. And it was then when I learned it's like my thoughts aren't deliberately doing this to make me feel really ill. They're doing it because they're trying to protect me what my, my inner self is. So do quite a lot of parts work with hypnotherapy. So the part of me that was petrified that I never get to be a mom. So it was telling me all these thoughts and telling me like,   Michelle (28:15) Mm -hmm.   Naomi (28:33) Get on it, do more treatment, like do more acupuncture, do more herbs, do all the things, do it all today. You need to think. And then the part of me that was like, it's gonna be okay, like I can walk this path, I can do what I need to do to support myself. It's gonna be okay. And when I could get myself into this place, I could see things like the sunset and I could be touched by that instead of being so blocked off by the light, the fear and the worry and the just.   Michelle (28:57) Mm -hmm.   Naomi (29:03) what if never and everyone else has that and I'm getting left behind and how does that, how do I traverse that? And it's like just bringing yourself totally back into the present moment and being like, and sometimes that's so hard. Like meditation for me was almost impossible to start because I just sit there and my mind would be like, yay, you're really listening now. Let's give you everything. And like only just so much.   Michelle (29:08) Mm -hmm.   Yeah.   All the fears.   Naomi (29:29) yeah, all that stuff. So emotional freedom technique for me was amazing because I remember saying that intention. I think we were about a year into trying to conceive and I set the intention that what I wanted was a way to turn off my mind. I was like, I'm going to be able to turn off my mind. I just want to press a mute button and just have my thoughts be quiet. And meditation didn't work for me like that. Like so many people are like, we just learned to meditate. That just didn't happen. It just, my thoughts got louder. Whereas with EFT,   because I had a process and a way to work through the thoughts. I remember the first time I had a kind of blank mind of just quietness and I was like...   Michelle (30:02) Hmm.   Ha ha.   Naomi (30:09) too far away from what I was capable of at the time.   Michelle (30:13) So that's interesting. That's actually really good information because I know a lot of people have a hard time with meditation. Although I do think you could get there through meditation, it is a little bit more torture. Like if you don't do other things. So I think that that's a really good thing for people to hear is maybe to look into emotional freedom technique as a sort of in -between to get you from point A to point Z. So you're able to really get in there and feel more peace while you're meditating.   Naomi (30:27) Yeah.   Yeah, to support the work you're doing alongside. Yeah.   Michelle (30:44) quick question just for don't really know as much about hypnotherapy, like why is it so powerful?   what are the things, because I know because I'm trained, but like the subconscious mind, talk about like the beliefs that are in there that are so like lodged into the makeup of our being that they almost take over our free will and talk about why it's so important to have those types of therapies to shift those really ingrained beliefs.   Naomi (31:20) Yeah, so I think for me, like to set it with a story. So for me, because I've been diagnosed with endometriosis and that was due to incredibly painful periods, the beliefs I had that I just wasn't aware of were my body is broken. You know, I have endometriosis, therefore, like I had this, even though logically and on the surface I could say, I'm not gonna need treatment. You know, we're just gonna have our babies naturally.   I think I was really holding that belief of like, you know, a doctor, person in authority had told, so, you know, like a man in his like fifties had told 19 year old me, you're probably gonna need IVF to have babies. Like, you know, buckle up, that's probably what's gonna happen. And I'd like taken that on as a belief. And so for me, it was working through, and I didn't trust my body because of the endometriosis and because of the pain I'd experienced, I could only link like,   pregnancy and birth with a lot of pain because people had said to me, giving birth is like, you know, period pain, but like a thousand times worse. Whereas because I had period pain that had meant, you know, I'd nearly passed out from the pain that I'd nearly rang, you know, an ambulance to come and collect me because I collapsed on a walk. So in my head, I was like, that's period pain. Birth is worse than that? God. Whereas then now I've given birth twice. One birth was pain free. One birth was   Michelle (32:22) Mm -hmm.   Naomi (32:44) painful but only for 15 minutes because she came in such a rush and birthed herself, I was in labor for 40 minutes. I now know the people that said, you know, labor was like pain, but worse. One probably hadn't practiced hypnobirthing and weren't like prepared for what their body was going to do, but also probably had like little tiny cramps that were like, little thing, not like massive endometriosis cramps. So for me, it was unpicking all these beliefs of what, what   Michelle (32:59) Mm -hmm. Yeah.   Naomi (33:12) my body meant like what my fertility meant and they can be like yeah like you said like deep inside that we're not even aware of but they impact the way we think the decisions we make the behaviors we have and so for me like whenever it was my period i was so used to just taking painkillers pushing on through my cycle ended up flying from london to glasgow and back for a one -hour meeting on the first day of my cycle and i haven't made traces and we were trying to   trying for a baby. So I was obviously massively disappointed that I wasn't pregnant, had horrific cramps, took a load of painkillers, got on this plane and I got home at, you know, like nine o 'clock at night that evening. And I was just like, what am I doing? Like I'm just pushing, pushing, pushing myself for my job. Like why on earth didn't I just say I can't fly up that week?   Obviously, you know, I didn't feel in a position at the time to go, I'm probably going to be getting my period then. But it's like, I should have, you know, it's like now, if I was in that position, I would be like, I have endometriosis, that's not gonna, that's not gonna work for me. That's not, I can't, I can't basically. Physically, I'm not gonna be able to do that. It's gonna need to be shifted. Although saying that, I wouldn't say that now because now, now I don't have really painful periods because I've dealt with all the things with my period. So that's something to say as well. It's like,   Michelle (34:06) Yeah.   Naomi (34:35) I just accepted that I would always have incredibly painful periods. And then when I worked with an acupuncturist, when I worked through the beliefs I had about my body and about pain and about rest, I was then having pain -freeperiods. The point I would like get my period and I'd literally be like, whoa, what's that? because I had no cramps, I'd had no buildups. I literally be like shocked when I saw red, because I'd just be like, I wasn't,   Michelle (34:39) Hmm.   Mm -hmm.   great.   Naomi (35:02) Yeah, it was such a different experience. So we need to, if you can really get to inside, and this is the joy of hypnotherapy, that we can access the subconscious mind in a really safe way and be like, what's in here? What are the things that are not serving you? What are the beliefs that we can choose to let go of and choose to install new beliefs? So in the latest trauma training I've done over the last couple of years,   I'm actually taking the beliefs you have, removing them and installing new beliefs. And that like absolutely fascinates me. And in the space of two weeks, clients being like, this is how I feel. This is what I believe. This is what I'd like to believe, but that's complete BS. Not a chance. I don't believe it. And then we do the work and by the end of the two weeks, and then they're kind of like, yep, I am like, yep, that's my new belief. That's new way of.   thinking, feeling, experiencing the world literally in new thought pans that then changes their behaviors, changes the way they make decisions about, you know, not just their fertility, but their relationships, their work, their health, all these areas. And it seems so, it seems so simple to me because I'm in this work all the time, but obviously people are really like, my God, like this is huge. Like I don't, I used to believe this and I believe this. my God. And I'm like.   Of course. And it's like, and they're like, it's massive. Like one client said it was Superman, like supercharged, these thoughts and like just like completely defeating Luke.   Michelle (36:31) amazing.   Naomi (36:41) Lex Luthor when she never thought that would be possible whatsoever and just changing that just being like God   Michelle (36:46) Yeah, I love that. Because, you know, thoughts give power and then they can also take away power depending on the thought. And also when you talked about like an older man, an authority figure, you know, how you said your experience was with your doctor. Keep in mind when you're trained in hypnotherapy, they talk about that.   They talk about one of the things that can hypnotize people. is because when you see somebody as this authority figure and you view them in this high regard, which we do a lot of times with   behind their names or after their names, then we could give them our power and allow whatever they're saying to have absolute authority over us. And that could be in a sense,   hypno session right there,   Naomi (37:39) Yeah, and yeah, it's like you need to be, I think, love the work we do. We're not hypnotizing people, we're de -hypnotizing them. And we're bringing you back out of the trance state that you've been living in, like especially around birth. And we still set up society, society's just set up to basically tell us birth is to be feared, birth is painful, birth is all these things. That's not true. And so we can...   Michelle (37:46) Yeah, my God, I love that. Yes.   Yeah.   Yeah.   Naomi (38:06) de -hypnotize ourselves   Michelle (38:08) I love how you put that because it is, it's kind of like waking up, becoming more conscious in our life, becoming more conscious of our power and what we really can do for ourselves. And I think that that's, that's the biggest thing. I really feel very passionate about it because I myself have had times where   I felt completely powerless in my life and I believed a lot of things about myself and my body. And so I think that when you come out of that, you're like, everybody needs to know this. Like everybody needs to know, you know? And I think we have that in common.   Naomi (38:43) I think that's what's so exciting because I work with so many women that are like, my doctor's told me this, as if it's a fact. And I'm like, have you got a second opinion? And they're just like, well, no, but they work on Harley Street and they're top of their game. And I was like, you might want to get a second opinion on that. Then they go and get a second opinion. And they're like, no, they've told me, actually, that my results don't mean that at all. And I'm like, hmm, hmm.   Michelle (38:54) Exactly. third opinion.   There you go. Yep.   Naomi (39:11) Because when you work with so many women in this field and people have very similar stories and like medical backgrounds, for example, and so you can be like, well, this person was told this and now this person is being told this, like, let's just not take that as, you know, that is what is. Especially when it comes to age or medical conditions like endometriosis, PCOS.   Michelle (39:19) Yes.   you   Naomi (39:37) there was some doctors that very fixed in this then means this. And it's like from, you know, my case on paper, I wasn't supposed to get pregnant naturally twice, but I did. They can't explain it. There wasn't anything medically different. But it's like, it happened when it happened and then it happened again. So it's like, why was that?   Michelle (39:42) Bye.   Right? Yeah. Yeah. Right. Exactly.   But so first of all, I can keep talking to you for hours. I think that we have a lot in common. We are very into, the power of our minds and empowerment and really kind of like setting people up for empowerment. So for people listening to this, I'm sure a lot of people are really fascinated by everything that you're sharing. How can people find   Naomi (40:24) Yeah, so the best place to find me is on Instagram. That's where I hang out, have a lot of fun on Instagram. So just embrace fertility. My website is embracefatility .co .uk because I'm based in England and my podcast is basically embrace fertility everywhere. I run a 12 week course, the embrace fertility method, sharing the techniques and some of the techniques I've been talking about today. So emotional freedom technique.   mindfulness, CBT, hypnotherapy. And then I also work with clients one to one for a minimum of 12 weeks support. So everyone that works for me does the Embrace Fertility Method and then can add those sessions on. And yeah, just come say hi on Instagram.   Michelle (41:10) Awesome. Naomi, I love talking to you and I'm so happy we connected and thank you so much for coming on today.   Naomi (41:20) Thank you for having me, it's been fun.  

Rookie NFL Quarterback JJ McCarthy recently suffered a season ending injury, tearing his meniscus in a preseason game. He responded with two words, "Amor Fati." This comes straight out of the ancient philosophy of Stoicism. In this episode, I cover those two words, McCarthy's response to the injury, Victor Frankel's book Man's Search for Meaning, and Meditations by Marcus Aurelius. Will JJ McCarthy be a great quarterback? Who knows, but it if he succeeds, it will be because he focuses on what he can control. Stoicism is a powerful philosophy whose timeless truths can completely transform your life.

Text me your thoughts! The delightful emotion of awe offers a path toward transcendence and well-being. The thunder of Niagara Falls or the face of a newborn can provoke emotions that change us forever. Science has given new perspectives on the impact of awe for our faith and well-being. The insights of Cole Arthur Riley, Victor Frankel, David Ray Griffin, and Summer Allen add breadth to the discussion. I invite you to explore how awe can mean so much for our human journey. Segments include:Awestruck and ScienceFaith and aweBe present and engaged for awe Learn about the TRACKS EXPRESS NewsletterSupport the Show.Subscribe to the TRACKS EXPRESS newsletter and find more resources for well-being at https://www.tracksforthejourney.comEnjoy the Youtube Channel at https://www.youtube.com/@tracksforthejourney77

In this episode, Dr. Pauline Boss, esteemed scientist practitioner who coined the term 'Ambiguous Loss,' discusses the meaning of Ambiguous Loss and how it differs from other losses. Drawing upon powerful examples, Dr. Boss discusses physical ambiguous loss and psychological ambiguous loss due to dementia from disease, brain injury etc. She clarifies that Ambiguous Loss is not a result of pathology, but rather the ambiguity of the circumstances of loss. Using examples like the families of 9-11 she describes the understandable impact on a family when a parent is gone but loss cannot be substantiated. With the aim of building resilience rather than pathologizing, Dr. Boss discusses the Psychological Family, the Family Narrative and the ability to engage Dialectical Thinking - 'my husband is both absent and present in our hearts and minds.' Dr. Boss references Victor Frankel's Importance Of Finding Meaning, Adjusting Mastery Up Or Down and discovering 'New Hope' by risking change.

In this episode, Dr. Pauline Boss, esteemed scientist practitioner who coined the term 'Ambiguous Loss,' discusses the meaning of Ambiguous Loss and how it differs from other losses. Drawing upon powerful examples, Dr. Boss discusses physical ambiguous loss and psychological ambiguous loss due to dementia from disease, brain injury etc. She clarifies that Ambiguous Loss is not a result of pathology, but rather the ambiguity of the circumstances of loss. Using examples like the families of 9-11 she describes the understandable impact on a family when a parent is gone but loss cannot be substantiated. With the aim of building resilience rather than pathologizing, Dr. Boss discusses the Psychological Family, the Family Narrative and the ability to engage Dialectical Thinking - 'my husband is both absent and present in our hearts and minds.' Dr. Boss references Victor Frankel's Importance Of Finding Meaning, Adjusting Mastery Up Or Down and discovering 'New Hope' by risking change.

As we close the chapter on our enlightening 52-week journey of self-improvement, I can't help but marvel at the unexpected twists and turns along the way. Our discussions veered into the realms of career growth, becoming the unexpected hero of our tale. But as we gear up for a new year, join me as we celebrate the victories and insights gained, and prepare to steer our focus back to the foundational aspects of community and family – the very support systems that enrich our lives beyond measure. Let me share with you the profound impact of Victor Frankel's wisdom on the pursuit of a purpose-driven career, and tease the innovative approach I plan to adopt to harmonize my energies for success in the coming months.Reflecting on the year gone by, I revisit the stark difference between a job and a career, and how, as a stay-at-home parent, I've come to understand the nuances of both. The upcoming episode is not just a summary of our past conversations, but also an intimate look into my personal growth and the belief in the transformative power of aligning one's vocation with their purpose. Get ready for a personal testament brimming with encouragement, anecdotes, and a sneak peek at a fresh strategy I'm excited to try out in realigning my energies towards success. Whether you're seeking to reignite your professional life or navigating the ever-shifting needs of your children, this episode promises to be a blend of motivation and a forecast of the enriching content we'll bring to light as we advance.

Links:entrethrive.comSummaryAaron Marcum, a guest specializing in positive psychology, discusses the importance of agency and mindset in entrepreneurship and well-being. He outlines the eight laws in his book, including the cornerstone law of ultra-clarity and the importance of defining guiding truths. He also introduces the concept of "entragrit" and the five levels of pursuing something with grit. Samuel and Aaron discuss the importance of grit and passion in pursuing work, as well as making high quality connections with everyone.Key Points• Aaron mentions listening to an episode on gratitude and positive psychology, and mentions his mentor Martin Seligman (1:59)• Samuel suggests that if more people knew how to grieve well, they could prepare better for the loss of autonomy at different stages in life (6:08)• Samuel introduces Aaron as a guest who specializes in positive psychology and structuring questions for desired outcomes (9:35)• He shares how he learned to prioritize his personal life and recommends a book that helped him through this turning point (14:25)• The program helped him personally and he wants to share that magic with others through his book, which combines personal stories with science. (19:57)• Aaron Marcum discusses the importance of agency in entrepreneurship and well-being, including self-efficacy, optimism, and imagination (25:24)• They discuss the idea of self-efficacy and agency, and how it is something that only an individual can give up or take back (31:43)• He uses Victor Frankel's story as an example of reframing thoughts and having a good life mindset (33:48)• Aaron outlines the eight laws in his book that help entrepreneurs, including the cornerstone law of ultra-clarity and the importance of defining guiding truths (39:11)• Aaron emphasizes the importance of mindset in entrepreneurship and shares personal examples of how these laws have helped him in his own journey (40:19)• Aaron discusses the importance of getting clear on your guiding truths and breakaways (41:36)• Aaron introduces the concept of "entragrit" and the five levels of pursuing something with grit: curiosity, interest, practice, passion, and purpose. He warns against false passion and emphasizes the importance of practice over talent. (42:57)• Samuel and Aaron discuss the importance of grit and passion in pursuing work (45:58)• He emphasizes the importance of congruency in relationships and living according to who we say we are (50:11)• The final part of "entra connections" involves making high quality connections with everyone, including Uber drivers and team members. (53:19)• Aaron talks about the importance of high quality connections and treating everyone as equals, regardless of their position in the organizational chart (54:08)

Ever wondered how an ordinary individual transforms their life from dealing with addiction to becoming America's number one fire walk instructor? Meet Dave Albin, a living testament to resilience and determination, who joins us to share his inspirational life story. From his modest upbringing in a single-parent household and early introduction to alcohol to his ultimate triumph over personal and professional challenges, Dave's journey is nothing short of extraordinary.Dave's transformative fire walk experience at a Tony Robbins event forever altered his perspective on self-worth, self-confidence, and self-belief. His life took a fascinating turn when this pivotal moment opened doors to opportunities, eventually leading him to become a fire captain for Robbins Research. Dave shares captivating stories of fire walking hundreds of thousands of people, highlighting the transformative power of taking on challenges and believing in oneself.Dave's remarkable journey doesn't end there. He found an even greater purpose through his work with veterans, first responders, bullied kids, and single mothers. Inspired by Victor Frankel's book Man's Search for Meaning, Dave shares his insight into creating purpose, maintaining a positive attitude, and the profound impact of gratitude. He also talks about his 'Do No Harm Firewalk' initiative, a unique approach to helping veterans and first responders, making this episode a testament to the resilience of the human spirit and its capacity to transform lives. Support the showGive the gift of books to your loved ones. Give them a 3-month Audible subscription.Amazon will send your gift recipient an email on the day you choose along with redemption instructions, or allow you to print and give it directly based on the option you select. The gift recipient can start their Audible Premium Plus membership right away. Current Audible members will receive all credits from a redeemed gift membership at once. Their current plan will not be extended or interrupted.https://www.amazon.com/hz/audible/gift-membership-detail

Co-Star Workout Commercial Workout Voiceover Workout Katie Flahive On Camera Class Today, I am going to be talking about wisdom and choice.   A quote from William Jennings Bryan.  “Destiny is not a matter of chance. It is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for. It is a thing to be achieved.”  In life, we always have a choice, even when we don't feel we do.  When I forget that I have a choice, what happens is that I am making myself a victim to life's circumstances, or to even life itself.   Choice is the freedom to see things as we desire, feel what we want, and live as we create our lives to be.   So, the question is, are you happening to life or is life happening to you?   Now, I firmly believe that I am the copilot in my life. But the chief pilot in my life is the universe.   And I choose for it to be that way because the universe is infinite, whereas me, just of myself, am finite.  In each moment, I can choose how I want to experience life.   I can choose how I want to experience life, and I always want to be reminding others to do the same.  Another way to think of this in terms of choice is when you choose consciously, you are at the cause of your life. And consequently, when you choose unconsciously, you are at the effect of your life.  Jen Sincero from the Badass Books, she talks about the big snore, which is how so many of us are just going through our lives sleeping.  We're not as I like to call it, using our minds to govern our brains to make sure that we are making the wisest and the most conscious choices in our life each day so that we can create the best future for ourselves.   Victor Frankel, a survivor from the Holocaust, talks about in his book how, yes, he was a prisoner. But he still had freedom, the freedom within his head, and that's how he stayed alive.   By choosing to choose, to open yourself up, you are moving, even just in making that choice, you are moving from catabolic energy, that energy that eats away at you, that is almost decomposes you, as opposed to moving into that anabolic energy, which is that energy of Expansion.   And again, reminding you that the universe wants you to expand.  The universe wants you to achieve. Why? Because as you get bigger, it gets bigger.   You are a part of it. It is a part of you. So again, by choosing to choose, to make conscious choice, you open yourself up to moving from catabolic energies to anabolic energies.  Now I'm going move into wisdom and the concept that each of us is greater and wiser than we appear.   A quote from Bruce D. Schneider, who is the founding of IPEC coaching.  He says, “Look past your reflection in the mirror and see the truth. I am always, and in all ways, greater than I think I am.”   So, what if you are only operating at 40 percent of your potential and your capacity? I think a lot of people feel that. They might even feel less than that.   Just by, again, choosing to open yourself up, recognizing that you are starting to move into change.  You're starting to move into greater wisdom.   You have the ability to see, to sense, and to know yourself to be more powerful, more resourceful, and just a greater and more gifted human being.   In terms of an actor, imagine if you were so much more talented than you thought you were.  Because that's the truth. You have more talent. You have more gifts to give than you even realize you do.   But what blocks you are those catabolic energies, which block us from that universal wisdom.   Do not accept your limitation, whether that be physical, intellectual, or emotional.  Think outside the box and know that you have unique gifts to share, regardless of how you have seen yourself in the past.  It's incredibly empowering, to see the truth about ourselves.   We are not helpless or a victim of anything.   We're not helpless.   We are in Infinite Energy and that propels us to do more than we normally think we could or should do.  Now this new seeing of who you really are also helps you to set new standards.   The comfort zone is constantly trying to keep us the same and comfortable.  But tackling these challenges, whether it be running a mile or ten miles or tackling Shakespeare or starting a new career or a new relationship, it helps you to build self-esteem.   Which leads to, if you want self-esteem, do self-esteemable acts.   But I also need to say with this that we do not want to set ourselves up for failure, so I encourage the baby steps.  I encourage going as slowly as you need to take care of yourself, but still challenge yourself. Because ultimately, you can figure this out. You can find a way.  Do what you most don't want to do in a day first.  Or as I joke do the thing that makes you want to vomit in your mouth just a little bit to get you closer to your goals.  Because that will then give you so much energy for the rest of the day. 

Have you ever wondered what your psychiatrist or therapist has figured out about life's big questions?  In this first episode adult and child psychiatrist Dr. Dirk Winter begins his exploration of what clinicians have learned about how to build more meaning and purpose into our lives.  Also, Dr. Winter suggests a daily meaning enhancement technique that combines Victor Frankel's 4 components of meaning with hypnotist Mike Mandell's daily questions technique.Produced by Dirk Winter and Violet ChernoffTheme Music by The Thrashing Skumz

On this episode of the World Game-Changers podcast, Paul is joined by Kristin Johnson, Dr Keith Amoss, and Paul Clark to talk about the enigmatic topic of hope. KEY TAKEAWAYS If you've got hope then you don't have fear, and if you lose hope then fear immediately comes in and fills that void. I'm a career coach so I work with a lot of people who have just lost their jobs. They may well be very good at their profession, but when they arrive on my doorstep they are hopeless. One of the big problems with that is they associate hopelessness with uselessness. It's really important to re-instill the idea that it's not all finished, you're just in a bad spot. Let's be hopeful, because many other people have managed in the past, there's no reason why you can't. Hope has always got that outcome that, potentially, you're wishing for the best, but it just might not happen. Depending on the degree of your faith – and there is a difference – faith would say (if it's strong enough) everything will be OK. Hope is powerful. Victor Frankel, a psychologist in the Auschwitz concentration camp wrote Man's Search For Meaning, and what he did was observed the prisoners, those that gave up perished and those that had something to live for and a hope that they would be released back into the outside world and do what it was that they wanted to really do again. That kept them alive. It's incredibly powerful, not wishy-washy at all. I train a girl with severe mental health issues and she loves coming to the gym and I can see it in her; she hopes to do an event next year, she hopes to raise money for charity, she's hoping she can do these things to push past her mental health barrier. BEST MOMENTS‘When you say “hope” you assume it's a down and out feeling – where you need to find hope – but, if you hone in on hope it's a good thing'. ‘It does take some action, hope is not just sitting there and waiting'. ‘On British TV shows hope isn't the main factor in the characters' journeys, they're the underdog and remain the underdog and we laugh at that. On US TV shows 9/10 the underdog wins, they thrive off hope. This doesn't happen for British people'. ‘I was going to say the only expert on hop is Bob, but that would be showing my age!' VALUABLE RESOURCES Paul's Story: Emerging From The Forest (UK): https://www.amazon.co.uk/Emerging-Forest-Pain-Purpose-Mastering/dp/1719373272 Paul's Story: Emerging From The Forest (USA): https://www.amazon.com/Emerging-Forest-Pain-Purpose-Mastering/dp/1719373272 Mastering The Game Of Life Book (UK): https://www.amazon.co.uk/Mastering-Game-Life-Paul-Lowe/dp/1782227679 Mastering The Game Of Life Book (USA): https://www.amazon.com/Mastering-Game-Life-Paul-Lowe/dp/1782227679 Speaking From Our Hearts Books: Volumes 1-3 (Available on Amazon) World Game-Changers Group ABOUT THE GUESTSKristin Johnson is a prize-winning/ prize-finalist writer, blogger, ghost-writing/ creative writing consultant, screenwriter, and editor. A graduate of the former Master of Professional Writing Program from the University of Southern California, she has published/ collaborated on seven books. Her current book AIN'T “U” GOT NO MANNERS has been called ‘the Bible for social media'. She is a member of the Desert Screenwriters Guild, Society of Children's Books and Illustrators, and Palm Springs Women in Film and Television.https://www.kristinjohnson.net/ Dr Keith Amoss: After some years working for the UK Government in London's Whitehall I moved overseas and into the world of international organisations. I spent some 25 years doing the full range of Human Resources activities and held positions as Head of HRM and Head of Talent Management. I have loved living and working in five different countries in multinational and multi-cultural environments. In my spare time I have enjoyed lecturing for the UK Open University. My passion is helping others to develop and seeing them achieve their true potential. Let me do the same for you.Website: https://www.keithamoss.com/ Paul Clark is a passionate personal trainer who champions the philosophy that genuine success is rooted in the pursuit of small triumphs and cherished family bonds; inspiring clients to embrace incremental achievements, fostering growth and fulfillment. By prioritizing meaningful connections and personal growth over monetary gains, Paul offers a unique approach to fitness that resonates deeply, and is an advocate for forming good habits from the get-go. Coming from nothing - from a small North Lanarkshire town in Scotland - makes Paul embrace the ‘nothing to lose attitude'. His life has progressed - from diagnosed depression, heartbreak and divorce - to a family man on a transformative journey towards a truly enriched and balanced life. +44 (0) 7581 489 304     Ptclark6@gmail.com  ABOUT THE HOSTPaul has made a remarkable transformation from existing for many years in dark, desperate despair; to now living a really healthy, happy and fulfilling life.From an early age, he was in the vice-like clutches of the demon drink and constantly embroiled within a dark cocktail of toxic beliefs, self-hate and destructive violence.Along with his empathetic and dedicated team of world-class coaches and mentors, Paul's purpose is deeply transformational: Developing World Game-Changers… He is extremely passionate about helping others to find their purpose, have a voice and ultimately, make a real difference. This has been built on a long and distinguished history of heart-centred coaching and mentoring.  He has also been responsible for raising significant amounts of funds for many charities and good causes around the world; positively impacting and inspiring thousands of children – mainly from challenging backgrounds – within the UK & worldwide. Through this World Game-Changers podcast and books, he has been involved in – including being a best-selling co-author – Paul also helps others to get their own inspirational messages and stories out into the world; as well as offering support to many charitable organisations, in their development & fund-raising. CONTACT METHODSTel: +44 (0) 7958 042 155E-mail: Paul@Paul-Lowe.comWeb: https://www.Paul-Lowe.comWeb: https://www.worldgamechangers.org/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/IamPaulLowe/LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/paul-d-lowe-7a78332a/This show was brought to you by Progressive Media

“ADD or ADHD is not a disorder; it's a sign of genius mislabeled by humans.” – Justin Breen   About Our Guest Justin Breen is the Founder/CEO of the global PR firm BrEpic and exclusive connectivity platform BrEpic Network. His newest book, Epic Life, features a foreword from Dr. Peter Diamandis and has been the No. 1 overall book for sales on Amazon Kindle. It also recently made the Wall Street Journal and USA Today Bestseller lists.   Episode Summary This episode is powered by the Move to Millions Book Have you often felt out of place? Have you found yourself questioning your gifts and if you can really make, move and leave millions? Are you a big picture thinker and visionary with lots of ideas and very little implementation to show for it? Has your greatness been diagnosed and labeled in a way that might stifle your very genius? If you are shaking your head "yes," I know how you feel because I have felt the same. This episode is for people like us - brilliant, big picture thinkers and visionaries who are often misunderstood on our journey to greatness. When I was in grade school, after one of our annual test periods, I was called into the office and informed that I was considered "gifted." Being gifted came with all sorts of baggage and expectations. When I became an entrepreneur, I questioned everything and often felt like I was a nomad, wondering aimlessly vs the child who had been labeled gifted in my youth. My guest, Justin Breen, says that an entrepreneur is "the most damaged person with the best coping skills." People like us, he says, are true geniuses that simplify the problems of the world. People like us - gifted, talented, high achieving entrepreneurs and business owners - are what make the world and businesses move. If you've ever felt out of place and that your greatness and genius was questioned at every turn, grab your pen and Move to Millions Podcast notebook for some true inspiration so that you can continue to shake the planet. Listen in now to discover: The top traits of the most gifted people in the world How to prioritize your family over your business and grow it to the next level 3 keys to unearthing your next level of genius Why simplification of your life is the key to scaling and sustaining your growth Two questions to ask yourself every day to continue to be the best version of yourself And so much more... Important Links: Move to Millions Live Incredible One Enterprises DrDarnyelle.com Move to Millions Planner Move to Millions Book Powerful Quotes from the Episode "The cream rises to the top. So we partner with the cream that rises to the top".  "I just keep writing bigger checks to be in smaller rooms, but the people in those rooms are making bigger impacts." "Success is the progressive realization of a worthy ideal. My worthy ideal is to be connecting superhero for every visionary who shares their stories with the world." "The formula for creating a successful global company is simple. It's a simple formula. It's you see a problem, create solution, problem solved. Successful global company." "Oh, they're just winning the wrong game." How to Connect with Justin Breen   Website:  https://www.brepicllc.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/BrEpicBreen Linked In: https://www.linkedin.com/in/justinbreen1/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/brepicbreen Books Justin Recommends: Man's Search for Meaning by Victor Frankel, Outwitting the Devil by Napoleon Hill    Favorite Quote: The cream rises to the top Tool Justin Swears By Own His Move to Millions:  Kolbe A and talking to his children Incredible One Enterprises, LLC is not responsible for the content and information delivered during the podcast interview by any guest. As always, we suggest that you conduct your own due diligence regarding any proclamations by podcast guests.  Incredible One Enterprises, LLC is providing the podcast for informational purposes only.    Want more of Darnyelle? Social Media Links: http://www.instagram.com/darnyellejerveyharmon http://www.facebook.com/darnyellejerveyharmon http://www.twitter.com/darnyellejervey http://www.linkedin.com/in/darnyellejerveyharmon   Subscribe to the Move to Millions Business Podcast: Listen on iTunes Listen on Google Play Listen on Stitcher Listen on iHeartRadio Listen on Pandora   Leave us a review Are you subscribed to my podcast? If you're not, I want to encourage you to do that today. I don't want you to miss an episode. I'm adding a bunch of bonus episodes to the mix and if you're not subscribed there's a good chance, you'll miss out on those. Now if you're feeling extra loving, I would be really grateful if you left me a review over on iTunes, too. Those reviews help other people find my podcast and they're also fun for me to go in and read. Just click here to review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” and let me know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you!  

Embracing Playfulness and Authenticity: A Conversation with Psychologist Rachel AwesImagine wearing your brightest colors and stepping into the world with your authentic self. Is it terrifying or exhilarating? For Rachel Awes, our guest and psychologist, it's a mixture of both. We start by discussing how she found her true self, stopped conforming to professional norms, and embraced her colorful personality. Along the way, we also shed light on the power of being unique and how it attracts positive attention. Have you ever thought about the profound role of play and imagination in maintaining good mental health? We have, and so has Rachel. We explore how play and imagination can become a source of hope and optimism, especially in challenging situations. Drawing upon Victor Frankel's research, we delve into the power of visualizing a future, even in the face of trauma. Rachel opens up about her creative endeavors and the joy they bring, and we discuss the importance of creating a relaxing and expressive space for oneself. Lastly, we challenge each other with tasks from the ever-entertaining "Do Something Fun Deck". Step outside your comfort zone with us as Rachel sings and Mike shows off his cha-cha moves and cracks his favorite joke. We talk about how playfulness can help reduce stress, invite authenticity, and unlock the treasure chest that is your full self.Support the showSupport the Playful Humans mission to help adults rediscover the power of play: Subscribe to the YouTube channel Subscribe to the Podcast Book a playshop for your team Support our sponsors

Dennis and Julie are all over the place.  Topics include: the differences between parenting and grandparenting… it can be a second opportunity… perhaps they are not happy with way their children turned out; parents who are fulfilled with each other…don't make their children the center of their universe; it is a burden for children if their parents try to live through them; you will succeed in life if you have good character; the Left in the U.S. are the Übermensch; “From all this we may learn that there are two races of men in this world, but only these two — the “race” of the decent man and the “race” of the indecent man. Both are found everywhere; they penetrate into all groups of society. No group consists entirely of decent or indecent people.” ― Victor Frankel; 'In the tragic vision, individual sufferings and social evils are inherent in the innate deficiencies of all human beings, whether these deficiencies are in knowledge, wisdom, morality, or courage. Moreover, the available resources are always inadequate to fulfill all the desires of all the people. Thus there are no "solutions" in the tragic vision, but only trade-offs that still leave many unfulfilled and much unhappiness in the world.' — Thomas Sowell; Without hysteria there is no Left; is corruption increasing, or has it always been like this?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Dennis and Julie are all over the place.  Topics include: the differences between parenting and grandparenting… it can be a second opportunity… perhaps they are not happy with way their children turned out; parents who are fulfilled with each other…don't make their children the center of their universe; it is a burden for children if their parents try to live through them; you will succeed in life if you have good character; the Left in the U.S. are the Übermensch; “From all this we may learn that there are two races of men in this world, but only these two — the “race” of the decent man and the “race” of the indecent man. Both are found everywhere; they penetrate into all groups of society. No group consists entirely of decent or indecent people.” ― Victor Frankel; 'In the tragic vision, individual sufferings and social evils are inherent in the innate deficiencies of all human beings, whether these deficiencies are in knowledge, wisdom, morality, or courage. Moreover, the available resources are always inadequate to fulfill all the desires of all the people. Thus there are no "solutions" in the tragic vision, but only trade-offs that still leave many unfulfilled and much unhappiness in the world.' — Thomas Sowell; Without hysteria there is no Left; is corruption increasing, or has it always been like this?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Existentialism is a philosophical framework that emphasizes personal choice and the creation of meaning in life. This belief is centered around the idea of freedom of choice, that we have the power to make choices in life, regardless of our circumstances. It also involves rejecting the victim mentality, taking control of our lives and making choices that positively impact us. Victor Frankel, a renowned psychiatrist, explored the idea of finding meaning in life through his book, "Man's Search for Meaning." He encouraged individuals to forge their own path and create meaning in their lives. Existentialism also touches on the concept of existence preceding essence, questioning our beliefs, embracing personal responsibility, authenticity, and recognizing the absurdity in life. Resources: Check out the: Quick Start Morning Routine: https://www.emotionalbadass.com/morning-routine Exclusive Bonus Episodes, Video Livestreams, Wellness tips, and Community: https://www.patreon.com/emotionalbadass Resources I offer: Emotional Strength Training Courses: https://www.emotionalbadass.com/courses Weekly Wellness emails where I share mental health tips directly to your inbox: https://www.emotionalbadass.com/newsletter Individual 1:1 coaching: https://www.emotionalbadass.com/coaching If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support my work https://www.buymeacoffee.com/emotionalbadass Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors. Learn more: https://www.emotionalbadass.com/sponsors Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Shawn Murphy is a spiritual teacher, author, and podcast host dedicated to helping people find their spiritual paths. He has written two books, has a podcast, and gives online courses. Murphy's teachings are focused on helping people become more connected, compassionate, and mindful. He also works to help people learn to trust their intuition and create a life full of meaningful and fulfilling experiences. https://tornbetweentwoworlds.com/ BRANDON HANDLEY Hey there's, spiritual dope. I am on here today with Sean Murphy. Sean Murphy reached out to me in an email, and I couldn't resist as he reached out and said, hey, let's collaborate. And the information that you shared with me that you're hoping to share this message of hope for people that have been suffering from mental illness to new parents with children. You and I spoke a little bit on the front end of this. I think that you've got a great message for children or for parents that are raising children. How do we do it in a spiritual way? You can call it whatever you want, but I think in a way that allows for children and humans to grow up believing in who they are, which inherently allows for, I think, faster, quicker, easier spiritual process. Right. In addition, you also do some mentoring with clairvoyance mediums, and specifically those that do not have a good spiritual support system. Love to hear more about that. And you share quite a bit more. And I just said, you know what? This makes sense. And you come from a business and engineering background, too, which is always, I think, a challenge. And a big part about what this podcast is about to begin with is how do we blend the two worlds, right? Like, we've got this. You're either spiritual and you're out in the woods and you're hugging a tree sean. Or you're this materialist who's cutting down the trees and shoving the spiritual people out of the way. But I think what you found is something that a number of people have found or are looking to find, is that you can have both worlds exist at the same time. SHAWN MURPHY Yeah. One of the papers that I wrote is called A Return to the Times of the Founders of Science and Religion. Essentially, if you look at the time between Homer and Socrates, 3000 to two and a half thousand years ago, this is a place and time that Galileo went back to, that Erwin Schroeder went back to, to rediscover a holistic view of science and religion, science and spirituality, essentially. And as an engineer, as a scientist, I am drawn to that and finding out that Pythagoras was a spiritual healer, he was a musician, socrates was a sculptor. Besides being the father of logic and that harmony that exists at that time between spirituality, science, logic is just a major draw in my life. And I try to bring that out to other scientists, other engineers who want to find logic in spirituality. And that's the connection that I have with business people and with logical thinkers, is there is a lot of logic behind spirituality? BRANDON HANDLEY Not for sure. I appreciate that, and it's amazing. Like you're saying, we go back thousands of years to the time of Socrates and Pythagoras, and we learn a lot of things about those people that we certainly weren't taught in school. Right. The spiritual elements and some of their actual philosophy. We learned a couple of things that they think the education system thinks that we should know. This will help support you and your education in certain ways, but they leave out some of these, I think, larger elements. If you didn't go, unless you went to some type of private school or Catholic school or what have you, spiritual element is ignored right. In the education system. So, Sean, I usually like to start these off with the whole idea that you and I are merely vessels for universal energy, and it's expressing itself to and through us and generally for somebody's highest and best. Good. Right. Hopefully. And to that end, the conversation that you and I are going to have, you and I will understand. Right. And we'll think we're having that conversation, but there's going to be somebody who tunes in, and they're going to hear a completely different conversation that's meant only for them. What do you think that message is for that person? What's coming through you today? SHAWN MURPHY Well, I think the most important message that I try to portray to people, and it's what inspired me to start writing was that we are, as you said, we're all spiritual beings. We existed before we came into this life. We came into this life for a reason, for purpose. And as I said, discovering that purpose is the most important thing you can do in this life for me. People talk about spiritual awakening. I've had five in my life peeling back the onion, as it were, of my material life and understanding what my original spiritual meaning was. And anytime you can peel back one of the layers of that onion, you have this opening up of a world that you didn't understand before. It's scary, it's different, but that's what we're here to do. We're here to learn and discover. It's been a scary road for me at some times, but more recently, it's been really enjoyable to peel back another layer and find a new part of me. BRANDON HANDLEY Perfect five awakening five. So let me ask you this. If you've experienced one, I think a lot of people feel like the awakening in of itself is enlightenment or the end of the road, like, hey, look, I'm working on my awakening. And then, as I'm sure you experienced for yourself, the awakening is or an awakening is kind of like the beginning, which is almost annoying. You're like, what do you mean? I just got here. I've worked my whole life and we got here. This is amazing, but this is just the beginning. And then to have five, I'd love to hear more about that because it's like you said, an awakening can be scary in of itself. But to have multiples is, it kind of like it gets easier as it goes along. Is each one of them like this roller coaster? Tell me a little bit more about that. SHAWN MURPHY Well, the first one was when I was 14, when I was a child. People always said, he's going to be an engineer because he takes everything apart. When he puts it back together, it still works. So I was kind of indoctrinated in this idea that I was an engineer. And I certainly had a very logical mind. It was an excellent mathematician. But every Sunday I went to church and it didn't make any sense to me. Right. And and and I had this question in my my mind and said, if God created this, why can't I understand Him? And at the age of 14, I embarked on a mission to try and answer that question. I left the Catholic Church. My parents required me to go to church every Sunday, so I still went to church. I went to the Baptist church, I went to the Jewish services, I went to Hindu services. I just looked around and tried to find an answer. If there is a God, then I should be able to understand Him, because he made this according to you. Right. And so by the time I graduated from college, I had looked at 18 different religions. The one that appealed to me the most through that journey was was Buddhism. And I kind of gave up the search after I left college because I really didn't find an answer to my question, original question. And it wasn't until I was 30, I guess 32 or 33, that I had the second awakening, which was an inner drive, forcing me to study everything I could about spirituality. And then a year later, my daughter was born in the 28th week. She was about that big. She was 1300 grams. And then I realized why I spent so much time learning about spirituality, because this test that was given to our family was one that I needed support with. And my studies had helped me to be optimistic and positive about this tiny little girl who came into our lives and helped me to become the right father for her. BRANDON HANDLEY Absolutely sounds like that was definitely a challenge. But I mean, even to have kind of this awakening at an early age or I think the yearning for an answer at the age of 14 and the idea that, hey, if I'm created by God, then there should be some type of innate understanding of this whole system. And that makes sense, right. I think that I can buy into that. I love that. You dove into, like, 18 different religions, so you just kind of went through each one of these, and you probably had a lot of seeds planted at that point in time, right? Each one of those kind of imparted a thing. And I'm certainly curious to hear more about what you found was similar throughout all of those. SHAWN MURPHY Well, that's interesting. You asked the question. I use this image in my work. It's the image of the three blind men and the elephant. If you know the image and the study of all these religions, maybe take a step back, and it's one of the gifts that I've had. It's one of those double edged sword gifts. But I see things from 50,000ft. I see the big picture, and it causes me a lot of traumas on a lot of times, believe me. BRANDON HANDLEY Sure. SHAWN MURPHY But I started looking at all these religions I was studying and looked at the commonality, as you said, between them, and likened it to if. Here's the truth. It's an elephant, four legs, a trunk, a tail, and I've got all these blind men walking around a bit. One of them thinks it's a tree, one of them thinks it's a wall. One of them thinks it's a snake. That's how I see religion. There are all these prophets sent with the same message, and they were understood differently by different peoples. BRANDON HANDLEY Yeah. SHAWN MURPHY And there can only if you believe in a spiritual world and if you believe in Creator, there can only be one truth. And by looking at all those religions, you can maybe understand essentially what it might be. BRANDON HANDLEY And that makes sense. That always has made sense to me. You're given a message, even you, right when writing your books and your stories. And I'm sure that with your engineering background and your sense of logic, you're sharing it in a way that should be digestible. Right. But there's still going to be somebody who then reads what you said maybe, and they go to share it with somebody else and be like, this is what he's saying, and they're going to mess something up, or they're just not going to interpret it the way that you would. Like I said about this conversation that you and I are having, somebody's going to tune into it, and they're going to be like, this is what they're saying, and that's not what we're saying at all. Right. Not only is the message that you're sharing out and the message of religions that have been shared out through thousands of years being misinterpreted. Right. Then over thousands of years, they become degraded or degenerated almost from the original intent. And it just becomes like the stuff that people say, but nobody has an understanding of the words that are coming out of their mouth. SHAWN MURPHY Yeah, that's true. I grew up in the Catholic Church, and I spent a lot of my time trying to understand how it became what it was or what it is. And that was a difficult journey, I really have to admit it. I spent a lot of time looking at its history, reading the catechisms, reading the console findings and so forth. I think it's easier to look at today with the political situation that's going on, to understand how politics can really twist up the truth. One of the most important aspects of spirituality that I teach is reincarnation. And this basically Buddhist idea that we come numerous incarnations until we become perfect and we no longer need to come back as humans anymore. So we become perfect spirituality in a spiritual sense. And that's exactly what Jesus says. He says you must become perfect as God is perfect. And Christians deny that today. Christians deny also the fact that he said you need to love your enemies. But the concept of reincarnation helps me to understand why I need to love my enemies, because they're always with us, and they're always developing with us. Right. They're on a path that we're on, but maybe they just started it, but in the end, they will have finished it. So in the end, we're all brothers and sisters. There's no enemies in the end. BRANDON HANDLEY That makes sense, too, right, in regards to even love thy neighbor as thyself kind of thing, or we're all one in that line of thinking. So I want to get back real quick on the awakenings. Right. The one thing I definitely want to know is myself. Having had a singular one that I would call almost like the big bang and the kind of the roller coaster of that I'd love to hear more about, just, I guess, the overall experience, like you're talking about, you had your daughter come in pretty early, but having had the awakening prior to it so that you could prepare yourself for that, right? I think the idea of Providence comes into that as well, where you're always given kind of what you need right before you need it, even though you don't know why you got it. Right. Why would I have another awakening? I'm pretty in step with all this stuff. So what would you say to that? Is each one a little bit different? Do they all have a similar element? What's your experience been on that? SHAWN MURPHY They've all been instigated by an outside force. In my life, I was blessed with an empathic daughter. BRANDON HANDLEY Okay. SHAWN MURPHY Somebody who just exudes love. She's caring, helpful, stops fights in the playground. Just is an amazing, amazing person. A very, very old soul. And my wife and daughter went to visit my mother. And after the visit, my mother called me up and she said, your daughter is so beautiful and loving and caring. You were like that when you were her age. What happened? My mother said this. She said what happened? Right? And I was the youngest of five children and my older brothers and sisters didn't appreciate me for who I was and that's what happened, right? So I went on this journey because I knew who my daughter was. And for me to think I was like that at some time in my life, I was like that when I was five years old. So I went on this journey of trying to discover my inner child. And it was a long journey, lots of pain and suffering along that journey. I never discovered it. I'll just put it that way. But it opened up a lot of doors for me. BRANDON HANDLEY Real quick there. When you say you never discovered it, we never discovered what your inner child or in touch with that empathetic soul that you are. SHAWN MURPHY No, I never really discovered what happened to me when I was a young child. BRANDON HANDLEY Got it. SHAWN MURPHY I never discovered those memories. BRANDON HANDLEY Right? SHAWN MURPHY And I came to peace with it in the thought that maybe discovering those memories is not the best thing for me. BRANDON HANDLEY Fair enough. And I don't know about you, but along this journey, I find the more that I try to chase something down, the more elusive it is, right? And then the moment I say, alright, I'm fine, I'm good, I'm going to take my ball and go. That's when everybody shows up. All the things are like, oh, we're right here. We've been here the whole time. Okay. So who knows? Sounds like that still could happen for you. It's interesting that you bring that up because we talked a little bit about that too in the beginning. I listened to another episode of yours. We talked about how do you keep the children from getting squashed? How do you keep that empathy alive? How do you keep that old soul to hopefully get to perfection in this lifetime, for lack of better terminology, in a better way or something? So my guess is that you found some of those ways yourself. I'd love for you to share that with the group here. SHAWN MURPHY Yes, I did. I actually connected to a number of people on the similar wavelength. Friend of mine is founder of a school in India that specifically caters to enhancing a child's spiritual self, help them discover their spiritual self. But certainly you can look at all the stuff, but my daughter was born 180 degrees outside of me. She's 180 degrees different than I am today. Well, today and when she was born, she's completely different. Right? BRANDON HANDLEY Right. SHAWN MURPHY I'm an engineer, I'm a logical thinker, a mathematician. She's not she's creative. She's an actress, a singer, a musician. I'm none of those things. So she's completely different than I am. Now, what that meant was that I had to conform in some way as a father. I could have forced her to be like me, which I didn't want to do. And I promised my wife I wouldn't do that. BRANDON HANDLEY Right. SHAWN MURPHY So I had to try to discover who she was and to find the right coaches to help her with those things that I have no idea about. BRANDON HANDLEY Sure. Yeah, that makes sense. SHAWN MURPHY I'm not an actor. I'm not a musician. I'm not a singer. BRANDON HANDLEY Yeah, that makes sense. That makes sense. I think that's great that you did that. Right. You realized that it wasn't within your immediate capacity to be able to help her to foster the truth of who she is, and so you look for some people that might be able to. SHAWN MURPHY Yeah. BRANDON HANDLEY That's pretty powerful. One of the things, too, that we talked about here, you talked about in the beginning here is the idea that we come here for a reason and a purpose, and that discovering that is kind of the most important thing you can do. Right. Who is it? Mark Twain? Almost. What have you found in your coaching and your daily life and your searches here? A what do you feel like if you had to state what your purpose is? I'd love to hear that. And B, how do you help others and do you help others to find that for themselves? And what's that look like? SHAWN MURPHY Have you ever read Victor Frankel? BRANDON HANDLEY Yeah. Man. Search for me. SHAWN MURPHY Man search for me. In my work, I pull on many of these experts who have spent their lifetime developing an area of expertise, people like Byron, Katie, Victor Frankel, Dr. Edward Bach. Many, many others who I point people to. Just don't take my word for it. Take somebody's word for it who spent their life studying these topics. BRANDON HANDLEY Sure. SHAWN MURPHY How to find joy in your life, how to discover yourself. And that's what I lean on in trying to discover myself. And I think I say in my book that it's the most important thing that I think a person can do. But that's backed up by what Franco said. He said the people who survived Auschwitz had meaning in their life to survive it. BRANDON HANDLEY Right. SHAWN MURPHY And if you think about the high level of depression and suicide tendencies in young people today, I correlate that with here's a soul, a spirit coming into this lifetime with a purpose. And in this heavily material world, the soul can't actualize that purpose. Right. They have parents telling them that they need to get a job and do something materialistic, but they have a different purpose. BRANDON HANDLEY Right. SHAWN MURPHY And that depression is a spiritual depression because the spirit can't do what it came in this life to do. Right. BRANDON HANDLEY Yeah. SHAWN MURPHY That's why I say the most important thing is to help children understand what their talents are, what their spiritual gifts are. So that they can be fulfilled in childhood and also be fulfilled in adulthood. BRANDON HANDLEY Right. Do you find and look, I'm all for helping the children again. And is that what you feel like your purpose is as part of this, too? Is your purpose in helping create a space like that? SHAWN MURPHY My personal purpose is helping people who are misunderstood to being able to listen to people who are misunderstood. And I'm not trying to save the world. I'm trying to help individuals. I've met a couple of budding clairvoyance who had no support system around them. Nobody believed them, right? And I discovered them, and they kind of cling to me because I'm the only person who sees them for who they are and recognizes who they are. That, to me, is my purpose. I've talked a lot about that in different interviews of how I know that that's my purpose, but I feel it very strongly. BRANDON HANDLEY I think that's what matters most. There's a really good book called what is it? The Permission to Beat His Light or something like that, based off of, I think, Adler's work in the end, right. You assign the meaning, and I'm sure that's kind of like where Victor Franklin gets to too. You personally assign the meaning to the thing, whatever it is, and then you kind of get behind it and you work with it, and that becomes kind of like your life work until it changes or whatever. I'm sure there can always be nuanced. SHAWN MURPHY And they would say, well, when one twin had schizophrenia, there's a 50% chance that the identical twin had schizophrenia. And I was like, that's a coin toss, right? That doesn't tell me anything. BRANDON HANDLEY Sure. SHAWN MURPHY So after my second master's degree, I had a statistics professor who was a good friend, and I went and downloaded all these identical twin studies and looked at the data that they had collected. And then I called up Roger and I said, Roger, am I stupid? Because this doesn't make any sense to me. These identical twin studies show that schizophrenia if I'm an identical twin, there's a 50% chance that I am schizophrenic. If I'm a fraternal twin, there's a 20% chance I'm schizophrenic. If I'm a sibling, there's a 10% chance that I'm schizophrenic. If I'm the parent, there's a five or 1% chance that I'm schizophrenic. I said, Roger, you need five variables to define that equation, right? And he said yes. He said, I've actually studied that. I've studied those statistics in the past, and there is no covariance between the variables. Well, our current model for humanity is that we are a product of genes and environment. There's two variables. The statistics say you need five. BRANDON HANDLEY Right? SHAWN MURPHY So I wrote MIT and I said, you're doing a new twin study. Why don't you gather more data to discover what these other three variables might be? BRANDON HANDLEY Sure. SHAWN MURPHY And they said, well, we understand the problem, and we're looking in the genes for the answer. I said with genes are a variable. You can't look inside of one variable to find the answer. BRANDON HANDLEY Right? SHAWN MURPHY But that's the statistical information that showed me that we are much more than just our genes in our environment, right? BRANDON HANDLEY It's interesting to get the poke from statistics, right? Be like, hey, wait a second. I think that's awesome because these revelations can come from, like, anything, right? Awakenings can come from biting your tongue. And something could happen in that instant where you're just like, it all makes sense, right? It all kind of comes together and, like, you perk up and you're like, oh, that's what they were saying. That's what was happening. And here's what we need to kind of kind of do to flesh that out. Sean, let's talk about real quick your book series, Torn Between Two Worlds. What's happening in those series? And what can somebody expect to find within the series? SHAWN MURPHY Well, the series was written to talk about originally the first three dimensions where there's tension. I mean, there's tension between science and religion. Some people think that one can't exist without the other. And what I did and I mentioned some of the people schrodinger yellow leo and so forth. What I did was try to eliminate the tension between those two extremes to say that there was a time when science and religion or science and spirituality were won. And let's stop looking at the differences and let's start using the tools that science has created to examine religion. BRANDON HANDLEY What are some of those tools? SHAWN MURPHY Well, logic and reason. BRANDON HANDLEY Okay. Yeah. SHAWN MURPHY Let's understand where these doctrines came from. And many of them came from powerful men, right? They came from corrupt men. As I said before, reincarnation was taught in Christianity up until the 6th century Ad. When the emperor of Rome declared it as heresy and replaced it with the concept of eternal damnation. BRANDON HANDLEY Fact there. Right? I mean, that's crazy. Yeah. SHAWN MURPHY It's a political tool. BRANDON HANDLEY Yeah. Right. SHAWN MURPHY Eternal damnation is a political tool. BRANDON HANDLEY Right. SHAWN MURPHY And that's what you use to control the people. BRANDON HANDLEY That's right. SHAWN MURPHY You can't control people who believe in reincarnation now. BRANDON HANDLEY They'll be like, Better luck next time. SHAWN MURPHY Yeah. BRANDON HANDLEY Better luck next time. SHAWN MURPHY That's the point of the first book. The second book is torn between wisdom and rhetoric. It was the most difficult of the four books that I wrote for me to write because I intellectually understand the difference between wisdom and rhetoric. But I'm not always clear on the two in my own life. But that is trying to point out how rhetoric is used politically to create these rules. But yet wisdom is something that can only be learned through experience and through long study and is a very different character to it. The fourth book is torn between materialism and spirituality. And kind of going back to the original question you asked is how do we live as material beings and knowing that we're spiritual beings? Also, how do we deal with this balance? Some spiritual people neglect their material side. Right. Many people don't acknowledge a spiritual side to their life. So how do you find that balance between being here, being a business owner, being a worker, being an accountant, and being a spiritual person? BRANDON HANDLEY Sure. SHAWN MURPHY Right. And that's something I worked through for a long time, because I was in the investment business, in the money business, and when I became awakened to my spiritual self, I thought, oh, no, I shouldn't be in this business. BRANDON HANDLEY Sure. She has to struggle, right? SHAWN MURPHY For sure. BRANDON HANDLEY How did you come to terms? SHAWN MURPHY But I realized that that's the business that needs spiritual people in it. Okay. It needs light to overcome the darkness that's actually in that business. BRANDON HANDLEY Sure. SHAWN MURPHY The fourth book is a completely different book because it goes into the self help area. It was written in honor of Dr. Edward Bach, who wrote heal thyself. I don't know if you've ever read it. No, it's a it's a 20 minutes read. BRANDON HANDLEY I have 20. SHAWN MURPHY No, he he suggested that as a doctor, the best thing that he can do is to teach his patients to use their knowledge of themselves to heal themselves, because as a doctor, he doesn't know about everything that's happening in my life or your life. You know more about yourself than anybody can ever know. And I should, as a doctor, teach you to heal yourself based on what you know about yourself. This takes it one step further from what he talked about, but in the same vein, to help people discover the spiritual battles that they're in in their life, the spiritual baggage that they brought with them, along with their spiritual gifts that they brought with them into this line. And then to provide a plethora of treatments, of natural treatments, to increase their energy level, to dispel the negativity from their life and to just become stronger spiritual. BRANDON HANDLEY That sounds great. Sounds absolutely helpful. Right. When I think of the idea that you bring up there, though, spiritual battles and spiritual gifts and our spiritual baggage, do you have some tools? What's one way that one or two ways that somebody can recognize any of those in their lives? SHAWN MURPHY Well, they're basically pretty much confined to the area of mental illness. I tell people that I went with my wife to the cardiologist, and she needed a mitral valve replacement, and the cardiologist said that this surgery is 97% successful. And then I thought about it, and I said what? Mental health treatment is 97% successful? Right. BRANDON HANDLEY We it's all or nothing, right. SHAWN MURPHY On the on the physical, physical side, from what doctors do in surgery, the success rate is very high. Right. But when it starts to get into things that have a spiritual cause, which mental illness does, the success rate is horrible. BRANDON HANDLEY It is. SHAWN MURPHY In treating depression and did and schizophrenia. It's horrible. And so the people that I'm reaching out to. Are the people who have been on the drugs and the drugs aren't working, and they're looking for something different. They've been on antidepressants. They've been on antipsychotics, and they're not working because the voices are still there, and that's the spiritual battle that they're dealing with. BRANDON HANDLEY Right, yeah. That makes sense. As a society, we don't try to typically, and I think I would say up until more recently, either accept it. Right. I know quite a few people now that are, like, mediums clairvoyant or in that space, and it was scary for them to open up and share that with the world. But now that they are, they're better for it versus, oh, we better shut that down. Right. You want that to stop? We want it to stop for you. Because if we don't have an understanding of it, if we don't have this kind of and I think this goes to your very point of this logic and this science and these tools and reason and attaching spirituality to it if we don't have a reason to it. Because we precluded the spiritual spirituality can be a part of any science. Right. If we take all that out and we're trying to apply logic and you're missing a key element, you're never going to solve it. SHAWN MURPHY Exactly. What a lot of people don't understand in the New Age sort of practices is that there are natural laws, and the natural laws are pretty simple. There are spiritual laws that created those natural laws. BRANDON HANDLEY What's an example of that. Yeah, what's an example there? SHAWN MURPHY Well, a number of them are intimated in a number of religions. When you give, you receive more in return. John Nash got the Nobel Prize for his gaming theory, where he proved mathematically that that's true. I don't know if you're familiar with. BRANDON HANDLEY That, but was he A Beautiful Mind? Yes. What a great movie. SHAWN MURPHY But he proved that it's economically better to make sure that the party that you're working with is benefited as much as you're benefiting, and yet you actually have better economic returns if you do that. BRANDON HANDLEY Right. SHAWN MURPHY That's one of the spiritual laws that I think was well proved by John Nash. BRANDON HANDLEY Now I got to go watch it again. I got a whole new I got a whole new I'll put it on tonight, Sean. SHAWN MURPHY Yeah. Because it's when the blonde comes in the room is the point where when you get to that point, when the blonde walks in the bar, you'll understand what he's talking about. BRANDON HANDLEY I'm looking forward to it. SHAWN MURPHY It's very well done. But there's the eye for an eye law. Right. I mean, what we do in this life has consequences, and the people who are suffering from schizophrenia are suffering from those consequences. BRANDON HANDLEY From, like, previous lies. Explain that one a little bit more for me. SHAWN MURPHY So the people that they oppressed misused whatever they did to them in that previous life, the spirits of those people have the right of revenge. BRANDON HANDLEY Wow, what a concept. I love that idea. I don't want to be Schizophrenic. Let me ask you this real quick there, Sean. Is there a resolution to that in this lifetime? For the Schizophrenic. SHAWN MURPHY It'S the most difficult resolution that there is because the spirits have the right of revenge. And the only way to overcome that is through forgiveness. But it needs to be forgiveness on both sides. Okay. BRANDON HANDLEY That's a tricky one. SHAWN MURPHY It's very tricky. But there are things that the Schizophrenic can do to increase their spirituality. Increase their level of spirituality by helping others, by doing other things that they can minimize that impact. And that's what I've been helping people to do, is to help them not necessarily rid themselves, but distance themselves from these vengeful spirits. BRANDON HANDLEY What a powerful one. I love that sean. Thanks for sharing those. So I'm at a little section here where I kind of actually almost towards the end of time. Of course, nobody knows you, and I had some technical front end. So I get to a little part in the podcast where I just say, hey, basically, this is spiritual speed dating, right? Sean? Somebody out there is looking for their next spiritual dating and you're up for spiritual bachelor, as it were. Let your wife know that this does not impede or infringe on the relationship that you currently have in any way, shape, or form. So to that end, spiritual bachelor number one, I'd like to ask you one or two questions. Are you ready? SHAWN MURPHY Okay, go ahead. BRANDON HANDLEY Man. I don't think I've asked this one too often. Describe heaven and how to get there. SHAWN MURPHY Heaven is part of the spiritual world. I mean, there's basically the Earth is between heaven and hell. That's where we come from. That's where our corrupt souls come from, is from hell. And we are working our way to heaven. Heaven has many, many levels to it. The lower regions of heaven are what are called the restoration levels. So these are the places we go in between lifetimes to be educated, to get ready for our next lifetime with the end goal of reaching that place that we once inhabited before we fell. BRANDON HANDLEY I like it. I've never heard of not that I've done much research on heaven, but the many levels of heaven. The idea of the restoration levels reminds me of a series by I think it's Pierce Anthony and the Immortal series. Really well done. But he talks about similar pieces, right. And purgatory and whatnot and just kind of what that looks like. And that's what that reminded me of. This is a good one for you. What is the relationship between science and religion? SHAWN MURPHY I mentioned Erwin Schroedinger. He wrote a book about his experience because he was conflicted with what happened at the dawn of quantum mechanics. He went back to these early Greeks and he wrote about democratic. Democratic was the one who theorized the structure of the atom 2.6 thousand years ago and theorized the structure of the solar system. But he said about democratists sooner democratists could go to him and ask him about the structure of the atom, the structure of the solar system, about mathematics, about geometry, about love, and about God. The reason that these people pythagoras Euclid, Archimedes, democratists, Socrates, that the reason that their theories survived two and a half thousand years without being corrected, is that they understood the material world and the spiritual world. They understood the laws that exist between the spiritual world and the material world. And so the laws that they created for us, for as scientists, are eternal because they're created in a holistic environment between science and spirituality. BRANDON HANDLEY It's almost like there's really not a separation unless forced. SHAWN MURPHY Religion is a political tool. Spirituality has concrete laws as science has concrete laws. BRANDON HANDLEY Got it a nice distinction there as well. I think that when we talk about the relationship between science and religion, what you're saying is right. The relationship really exists between science and spirituality, whereas religion as a political tool, it deviates in and of itself from spirituality. Not a great distinction. I love it, Sean. Thanks for that. Sean, where can people go to find out more about you if they want to connect with you? SHAWN MURPHY I am a major contributor to Cora. I run the spaces on Cora. The spiritual world. Early Christian wisdom. I'm a big contributor to the Afterlife forum on Cora. They can find me on Twitter, on Instagram, or just go to my website, torn between Two Worlds.com, and you can connect with me. And I'm happy to talk with anybody. It's one of the joys that I've discovered, is talking to people who feel rejected by society. And I've not found anybody that I don't enjoy talking to. BRANDON HANDLEY Fantastic. Sean, thank you so much for being on today. And we'll let you go. SHAWN MURPHY Well, thank you so much for having me. Have a good day.  

In this episode, I go over a few steps you can take to manage seasonal depression maybe and avoid an existential vacuum. We discuss Victor Frankel's ideas about Existential Vacuum in his book Man's Search For Meaning.  I also cover the idea of the Hero's Journey with ideas from Joseph Campbell's  Hero with a Thousand Faces.  Life is far to short not to plan a journey.  Also, the business philosopher Seth Godin, in his blog, suggests we should not get distracted by the event and miss the importance of the journey.  What do you have planned for the New Year? Have you mapped out a journey, or are you waiting?  Be sure not to wait too long. 

In this recap episode of Flow Over Fear, I share some of the lessons I learned from my interview with Alice Penn, MD. As a former medical doctor to C-Suite executives, who transitioned into the world of corporate finance, Alice has an amazing perspective on the world of personal development, in which she brings vast medical and executive expertise to her coaching, consulting and speaking practice. In this recap, I share key parts of our conversation, including: - The science of change - Victor Frankel's visualization of future self - Hopelessness is not the end - Marriage to an addict - Solving for stuck - Removing limiting beliefs - Anxiety leading to fear of failure: Unrelenting standards - Flipping negative traits into a positive - Finding grace - Overcoming challenges - Practicing grit If you'd like to learn more about Alice, you can find her at https://www.alicepennmd.com/

I continue my Journey with YOU by offering this wonderful interview. Dr. Marcy Willard is Founder & CEO of Cadey. Dr. Willard is a tech entrepreneur, licensed psychologist, nationally certified school psychologist, and published author. Dr. Willard, or Marcy, is one of my fellow Moms who has offered me insight and gentle guidance. Lots of show notes, so short introduction. Enjoy!1:00 - How Marcy entered this Journey2:05 - Addiction is not biased 3:05 - Understanding the intense pain when you're a "Good Parent"4:30 - The Myth of Rehab being a 'Short term fix',  how Rehab is NOT Recovery and Marcy's Article on 'Drug Addition and Teens'5:15 - Honestly, Recovery does not have an end...and that is okay5:40 - Genetics, and how it is not just from the Parents7:10 - Family Patterns and Marcy's article on 'Common Family Problems'8:25 - Self Medication at the Adolescent level8:55 - The Treatment Center viewed as the Training Camp / Boot Camp10:00 - Surrendering to being "Okay"  10:50 - Building Community to support Post Treatment Center Recovery11:15 - The Key to Recovery "was within me"11:30 - Michael Singer, 'Everything will be okay when you're okay with everything', Living from a Place of Surrender 12:30 - The strength and power in choosing how to react, Victor Frankel's Man's Search for Meaning and Edith Eger's The Choice 13:30 - Choosing not to attend the party we are invited to 14:30 - Expectations: STOP bringing your Expectation Guy!  15:30 - Measuring the Gain, not the Gap and referencing Dr. Ben Hardy's book The Gap and the Gain16:45 - Honoring the Addict17:30 - Marcy's article, Addict has Entered the Room19:00 - Seeing the Addict in front of you and how that can be a part of your own Recovery Journey20:00 - Debra Jay on the Master Manipulator, don't underestimate the power of addiction as it is the undoing of many Families, Debra Jay's website, lovefirst.net22:00 - Engaging professionals as SOON as you can as that's when the Magic starts to happen as the addict shrinks and your Child starts to grow 23:45 - Five stages of Grieving24:15 - Marcy connects losing a brother to addiction and how that impacted the Journey with her child28:00 - Supporting your Child in developing their Self, including boundaries29:00 - Don't personalize, your Child's Addiction is not about YOU31:45 - Even in the toughest of circumstances, try to listen and SEE your child32:45 - Marcy's Courses (click here)Thank you for listening and please visit www.siblinghoodofrecovery.com for free resources, links to organizations, groups and individuals who can offer help in the Journey of Recovery towards healing from substance use disorders. If you like this Podcast, please leave a rating on wherever you're listening. It will help to get the word out. If there is one message I can leave you with, the best you can offer your loved one battling addiction is love and a healthier you. Walk gently, my friend.

Jay Steinfeld |  Experimenting and Enjoying the Ride  "You really never know when you set out to do anything, if it's going to work. If you do know, then you're not experimenting enough."  — Jay Steinfeld    This week's guest is Jay Steinfeld, author of Lead from the Core and founder of Blinds.com, which he sold to Home Depot in 2014. Steinfeld remained the company's CEO until he left in 2020 to not retire but, as he calls it, "rewire." He teaches business and entrepreneurship at Rice University, serves on multiple boards, and is active in charitable organizations.   Jay's predominant approach to life and to business is to learn as much as possible, with the understanding that you're never going to know it all. He believes in experimentation, and in taking small steps to try something new to figure out if it's something he wants to build on. The loss of two important people in his life—his mother when he was a teenager and his wife after 25 years of marriage, both to cancer in their late 40s—also motivated him to learn and come to a better understanding of how he wanted to live his life. Two texts he cites as influential are Man's Search for Meaning by Victor Frankel and The Happiness Hypothesis by Jonathan Haidt.   Jay explains how being value-led drove him in building his company. One of these values is experimenting without fear of failure. By articulating and modeling the core values of the company, he was able to hire people who would not be afraid to speak up and experiment. He was also able to guide his business as it was sold to Home Depot, making sure that the people who had helped him build his business were recognized, appreciated, and well compensated for all they did. Honesty is another value Jay discusses in this episode, where he advises CEOs to "not be chickenshit" but to be the one who tells people what they need to know.    Another value Jay discusses is to "enjoy the ride." Having challenges and facing the unknown have been motivating for him, and he loves working with others to come up with new ideas and solutions. He believes his greatest achievement is assembling teams of people who succeeded at doing things he could never have done alone.    In this episode of Leading with Genuine Care, you'll also learn: How the loss of Jay Steinfeld's mother and wife affected how sees the world  How he approaches social media  How he went about planning for his "rewirement" and the one person he wanted to meet  When it might make sense to give up  How to model and send the message to employees that experimentation is valued  What you need to do if an employee is not performing up to expectations  What to do before selling a business    Connect With Jay Steinfeld   Website www.jaysteinfeld.com Link to download first chapter of book: www.jaysteinfeld.com/thebook Book page on Amazon: Lead from the Core: The Four Principles for Profit and Prosperity   LinkedIn www.linkedin.com/in/jaysteinfeld   Twitter www.twitter.com/jaysteinfeld   The 2022 Leading with Genuine Care Retreat is at full capacity.*  *If you would like to be placed on the waiting list, please click here and fill out the form. If a current attendee is not able to attend, we will contact you right away. The Leading with Genuine Care Leadership Retreat is a mindfulness meditation retreat specifically designed for business leaders and entrepreneurs. Suitable for meditators at all levels, the retreat will enable you to cultivate a deeper, leadership-based mindfulness practice while in a peaceful and rejuvenating mountain location. Previous attendees have reported experiencing increased productivity, increased focus, and new perspective – among other benefits – as a result of what they learned.      Get Rob's Weekly Newsletter Never miss an inspiring conversation about compassionate, positive leadership on the Leading with Genuine Care podcast plus other great articles and insights. Click below, and you'll also get a download of his favorite mindful resources.   https://www.donothingbook.com/resource-guide    Follow Rob Dube on Social Media  LinkedIn:  www.linkedin.com/in/robdube    Facebook:  www.facebook.com/rob.dube.1   Twitter:  twitter.com/robddube     Rob Dube's Website www.donothingbook.com   Buy Rob's book, donothing: The Most Rewarding Leadership Challenge You'll Ever Take amzn.to/2y9N1TK  

Have you ever wondered how to get your hormones in balance? If you're a woman in her midlife, you're probably already feeling the effects of hormone changes. But don't despair! Dr. Sonya Jensen is here to tell us all about how we can use self-love to achieve ultimate hormone balance.   In this episode, Dr. Jensen shares her insights on how the way we feel about ourselves affects our hormones. She also provides practical tips on how we can start loving ourselves more, in order to achieve better hormone balance. If you're struggling with hormonal issues, this is the episode for you!   About Dr. Sonya Jensen: Dr. Sonya Jensen is a Naturopathic Physician with a mission to change the way women understand their bodies and themselves. She believes that women are the center of their families and communities, and by supporting them, we are creating a ripple effect that will support the whole.   Dr. Jensen is a mother of two boys, an author, yoga teacher, podcaster, workshop and retreat leader, as well as the co-founder of Divine Elements Health Center, The Longevity Lab, and The Health Ignited Academy, alongside with her husband, Dr. Nicholas Jensen. Her background in cell biology and lived experience with Ayurvedic Medicine in her home has given her insight into the human body that helps her serve the women and families she works with from multiple different lenses.   Dr. Jensen believe it is everyone's birthright to live a happy, healthy, joyful, and abundant life, and she's honoured to help her community move from a state of simply surviving to genuinely thrive.   In this episode, you'll learn:   -How our feelings about ourselves affect our hormones   -Why self-love is essential for hormone balance   -Practical tips for how to start loving yourself more -How hormones are related to the nervous system   So tune in, and learn how to get your hormones in balance with self-love!   If you liked this episode, please subscribe to the Hormone Prescription Podcast and leave us a review! We appreciate your support!   (00:00): The relationship you have with yourself is the most important one in your life. Your hormones tell your story, the imprints, the traumas, and the victories.   (00:10): So the big question is how do women over 40 like us keep weight off, have great energy, balance our hormones and our moods, feel sexy and confident, and master midlife? If you're like most of us, you are not getting the answers you need and remain confused and pretty hopeless to ever feel like yourself again. As an o g Yn, I had to discover for myself the truth about what creates a rock solid metabolism, lasting weight loss, and supercharged energy after 40, in order to lose a hundred pounds and fix my fatigue, now I'm on a mission. This podcast is designed to share the natural tools you need for impactful results and to give you clarity on the answers to your midlife metabolism challenges. Join me for tangible, natural strategies to crush the hormone imbalances you are facing and help you get unstuck from the sidelines of life. My name is Dr. Kyrin Dunston. Welcome to the Hormone Prescription Podcast.   (01:04): Hey everybody. Welcome back to another episode of The Hormone Prescription with Dr. Kirin. Thank you so much for joining me today. You are gonna love my guest today. As much as I love her after you listen to our interview. She is a soulful physician who is passionate about helping women with their health and their hormones and to live more empowered and embodied lives. Sound familiar? I believe in all the same things. And we have a lot of similar interests in training. So I'll tell you a little bit about her, and then we'll get started, and we'll talk in the interview about the quotes that I shared with you at the beginning from her about your relationship with yourself being the most important one in your life and how your hormones tell your story. If you're not sure about what that means, stay tuned and we'll dive into it.   (01:53): So Dr. Sonia Jensen is a naturopathic position in Canada and she's on a mission to change the way women understand their bodies and themselves. She believes that women are the center of their families and communities, and by supporting them we're creating a ripple effect that will support the whole. She is the mom of two boys. She's an author, yoga teacher, podcaster workshop and retreat leader, and she's the co-founder of Divine Elements Health Center, the Longevity Lab, and the Health Ignited Academy with her husband, Dr. Nicholas Johnson. She has a background in cell biology and her lived experience with Irv medicine in her home has given her insight into the human body that helps her to serve the women and families she works with from multiple different lenses. She believes it's everyone's birthright to live a happy, healthy, joyful, and abundant life. I believe the same, and she's honored to help our community move from a state of simply surviving to genuinely thriving. Welcome Dr. Sonya Jensen.   (02:54): Thank you so much for having me. Such an honor and I'm very excited about our conversation.   (02:59): Me too. We have so many joys and loves in common and you really approach women's health from such a deep spiritual place, which I do too. I wanna dive into that, but I wanna start with how you came to have this perspective because not all physicians who work with women and work with women in their hormones work with women in their health. Really it's very, a very mechanical approach in the mainstream. And so how did you come to have this deeper appreciation for what's going on with women's health?   (03:38): Yeah, thank you. It's a great question and I think for me, just from the beginning, I've just had a very curious mind about humans in general and how we operate and why we make the choices we make. And just observing, you know, myself and my culture and understanding the stresses and traumas that I went through growing up and how that impacted my health really didn't become clear to me until I was actually in naturopathic school and in training. And the beauty of naturopathic school is they do really teach us to look at health from a different lens, like very holistic, but it still doesn't hit that spiritual, that emotional piece that's actually impacting our health and our everyday relationships to others, to ourselves and our hormones. So as I started working with women and started to see their stories unfold in front of me initially, you know, you have your training so you're doing all your differential in your mind and trying to figure out, okay, what's the best next step?   (04:37): I'm already like 10 steps ahead even as they're telling me their story. And it really wasn't until I feel like I became pregnant with my first son and I really paused and started to recognize changes in my body and started to be just so present in myself that that forced me to be present with the women that were in front of me. And what that did, it actually created a trajectory of healing for me. And I went down this healing path of becoming a yoga teacher, understanding how my trauma started impacting me and my hormones in my youth from having cervical dysplasia to P C O S, to all these things and thinking, oh, there were just physical manifestations. But realizing that physical manifestation came from something deeper. And as I started to pause and listen to women's stories and connecting the dots for them, I started to really understand like, this is such important work that we're not uncovering enough as physicians or even as women. We're not even aware that we can ask these questions and understand that how intimately connected all of this is. So really, I have to say it was, it's my patience that have given me this opportunity to learn more.   (05:48): Yes. I love, you know, how the journey becomes the teaching and the lesson, the patience teach us. And it's, that's part of my story too, but it took me a month a lot longer than it sounds like it took you, you know, I've heard it say that you can learn through pain or you can learn through pleasure and unfortunately in the past I've gone the pain route and after I as a mainstream physician, my health was tanked. Many people listening know that story so I won't repeat it. And then I really had a more mechanistic approach. Well I gotta do salivary cortisol and the Dutch test to look at my hormones and balance and do all the things. And then I achieved a great deal more health and vitality. But then came the next lesson, which really gets to the things you're talking about. And I love this quote that you shared with me before we started, the relationship you have with yourself is the most important one in your life. And I don't think I got that, that that was a real relationship and important to address in terms of my health. And I think that most of the women I work with, when I say that, they kind of look at me like I'm a little crazy. What are you talking about ? Can you explain what that means?   (07:05): Yeah, I think our relationship, or I feel that our relationship dictates everything cuz that self-talk that we women especially have, as soon as we wake up, we look at ourselves in the mirror, and instantly we have criticism instantly we have a to-do list instantly. We're already thinking about what others might think or what we need to do to meet others' expectations, whether it's our partner or our children and even ourselves from the conditioning that we've received through observing the women when we were growing up, or the conditioning that was just passed down from generation to generation. And so all of that sets us up to have these sets of beliefs about who we are and how we're supposed to present ourselves. And in that I think we lose this ability to understand who we actually are, who we were meant to be in this lifetime, in this body.   (07:57):  And instead we're just playing these roles that we're given and wearing these masks that we have to put on in order to just navigate our days. And it really, I feel, isn't until we understand that we're doing that, that we have these roles that we're playing, these masks that we're wearing, that we can start unleashing some of those. And then through that we start to understand, okay, what's actually important to me? How do I define success? What does health actually look like? What do I want to dream into my life? What's my self worth? All of those things will dictate our actions and will dictate how we even are relating to our partners or to ourselves. And I think that in itself will then imprint itself into ourselves and our bodies. And then the body starts to speak, right? Like the more women deal with autoimmune disorders and cancers than men do. And so when you start to unravel some of those stories of like, why is our self fighting ourself? Why are these cancer cells producing themselves and creating these whole new communities? Like what about us is so disconnected that we've forgotten our true essence cuz we've learned to really shun that voice or not listen to it cuz there's so much noise in our environment. Mm-hmm   (09:10): . So I hear some people thinking right now that Sonya, what does, what I think and the roles I play and the mask I wear have to do with my physical health. Like what does it have to do with autoimmune disease and cancer? They don't get that connection. Can you help them understand that?   (09:30): Yeah. If we can just go to the simplicity of how our nervous system works, right? We have a sympathetic nervous system, the parasympathetic branch and the sympathetic is our fight or flight, it's our, you know, the one that we rely on for protection to run away from that dangerous situation that we might be in and in our perceived mind when we're triggered by something, this could be a smell, this could be a conversation, this could be a look that a partner gives us. And all of a sudden we're taken back to a moment when we're young and maybe we were scolded for doing something or maybe we had a big T trauma, these micro things that may have happened. Wake up your brain, this amygdala, your emotional center, and then tell the brain, Okay, I need, I need, I need to understand what's happening here.   (10:14): And then the hippocampus comes in, which is your memory center. They start talking to one another. They fuel your hypothalamus, which then tells your pituitary gland to give the reaction that your physiology needs in order for you to survive this moment. And when we're doing that on a repeated basis, again, this could be making lunches for our kids, taking, dropping them off to school and then to soccer and then to this. And we're in this race, but the body's like, wow, she's in danger all the time. So I have to give her this cortisol, I have to give her this adrenaline in order for her to make it through her day. And so we create this pattern in our physiology, which then tells our sex hormones like progesterone and estrogen and testosterone to take a backseat. Cuz it's not about creating life or healing or resting, it's about surviving right now.   (11:01): So well said. And I, I think that, I was talking with a group of women yesterday. I met at a yoga retreat and I met this group of women and of course the topic with women always comes back to hormones. Cuz if you, yes, you can't meet a woman who doesn't have a hormone problem, it, it just doesn't exist. And I was explaining to them, you know, that the hormones originate in your central nervous system, they're part of your nervous system and most people don't get that. And you also shared this quote with me that I love hormones tell a woman's story, the imprints, the traumas and the victories. So can you talk about how hormones are related to the nervous system, that whole system you just talked about? I think you touched on it, but I really wanna make sure everybody listening gets it. Mm-hmm a clear picture and how their biography has become their biology. Like Carolyn mes.   (11:55): Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No that's beautiful. And you know, if we understand our hormones are responding to our environment. So that's our internal environment, that's our external environment, that's our emotional environment, chemical, physical, all of it. They're basically messengers that are communicating a message that they're receiving and then relaying it to another cell. So if we think about it in terms of stress, everybody understands stress. When we're under stress, immediately the brain's thinking, okay, what can I do to support her? And the thing that it can do to support us, the hypothesis will tell the pituitary gland to then talk to our adrenals to secrete cortisol. And cortisol, Again, it's a necessary component of our system, it's part of our circadian rhythm, it's necessary for energy, it's necessary as an anti-inflammatory at some points. But when we're overusing it, when we're overutilizing it, our progesterone, which is one of our sex hormones that actually regulates our cycle, it's anti-anxiety.   (12:52): It's, it's the one if you feel like you know you need a warm hug, progesterone gives you that warm hug , but pro turn, right? But progesterone turns into cortisol. So if we're continuously turning our progesterone into cortisol, so you know that's going to change the relationship between progesterone and one of our other main hormones called estrogen. And estrogen I feel like is kind of the, it's the warrior hormone. It's what gives us energy. It's, it's good for our skin, it's good for our mucus me, it's good for so many things. And it changes their relationship, which then creates, you know, this dominance that happens with this estrogen over progesterone. So now what does that look like for an everyday woman that might look like heavy periods that might look like PMs or mood changes the week before your period. That might look like hot flashes and night sweats during your transition to perimenopause and menopause. So these everyday things that we're feeling, even anxiety and depression can be a result of this action that stress has on our nervous system. So it's our job to define what is stress, what is causing these triggers. Emotional, mental, chemical and physical.   (14:05): Yes. So well said. And I know some women are thinking, well I hear about stress management is important for my hormone balance. I know I'm supposed to meditate, I can't shut my mind off. So they don't, I'm not really gonna do it. I hear people talk, they hear me talking about probably you talking about , you need to live your life differently. Take the mask off, really develop this internal relationship with yourself and they have no concept. Yeah. About how do I do this? They go to their regular doctor who basically doesn't speak that language. How do you help people bridge the chasm that is, that exists between mainstream medicine right now and people like you and me?   (14:50): Yeah, I think helping women bridge that gap in a sense that just what we're doing, just this conversation, right? Teaching, teaching women that this is science based, right? It's our nervous system, it's our physiology, it's all of that. But it's so impacted by our life and our choices and all the things that are going on in our every day. And so in my book I created a quiz and it speaks to the triangle of disconnect because I feel like every disease process, everything that we suffer from is because of disconnection. And so what it did is defined three archetypes. So once the diva, the other ones the duchess, and then the other one is the damsel. So when you do this test or quiz, you kind of understand, okay, how do I actually operate cuz we don't even know sometimes because it's so autopilot, we don't know which archetype we are operating in in that moment.   (15:45): So the Duchess, just to describe it a little bit, she's like the CEO of our family or even of our business. Like she's got her schedule, she's getting up at 5:00 AM am doing her workout, getting the kids ready, like she's super organized. She's really got everything covered on the outside because she's in that race all the time and not really able to sit in her feminine energy at all or have any softness towards herself. She's usually suffering with like insomnia or digestive issues or of course hormone issues which stem from that. And then you have the damsel, which is like the community builder. I mean she's the one that everybody goes to. She's the one that brings people together. She will put herself last and everybody else ahead of her and she's usually the one that's not using her voice to communicate what's going on.   (16:32): So now we see thyroid issues because she's not communicating and there's usually some sort of cyst growing within her. Or these women usually have some sort of cancer because they just haven't been able to express what they need. The diva is the tricky one cuz she's the one that's been playing the roles and wearing the mask even tighter than the others. Cuz she may look like everything is okay on the outside. But her inner world is very chaotic. She probably went through a trauma that didn't, that created this inability for her to feel safe in her body. So when we start to understand, but she has gifts too. I mean she's the life of the party, right? She's the one that glows and is radiant. And so I find when we can identify where we sit and we might be all of them in some moments, we can use the gifts of these roles in mass and we can then understand if I play into this cuz it's not my essence, I may create this cascade of hormone changes because my nervous system is going to be impact and my brain's going to think I'm in danger.   (17:37): I'm not relaxed in my body, so my hormones can't do their job well, therefore I have symptoms. So I think teaching women that it's not normal to have horrible PMs and migraines before your period. It's not normal to have really dry vaginal area and really bad hot flashes when you're transitioning. We've normalized all of this. And so I think when we understand that it's not, we can then reverse engineer like, okay, where did this stem from? And you know, the western medicine can't deny that because it's science based. It's, it's your physiology.   (18:15): Yes. I love that. The diva, the damsel and the duchess. So everybody think about what roles you are playing and which, which do you identify with. And I love that you highlighted the, things which aren't normal. I recently did a TED talk and I had this refrain, Could menopause be the cause? Because I see so many women, and maybe you do too. I'd love for you to share your experience. They, like I said, you get a group of women and they're all talking about, Oh I get migraine headaches. Oh I never had an orgasm. I don't care if I ever have sex again. Oh my hair is falling out. Oh I have dry eye. Oh I've got irritable belt. Like all these things. And sometimes they recognize that they, these problems are hormonally based, but more often they're running from doctor to doctor specialist to specialist neurologists for their migraines, gastroenterologists for their irritable bowel. Never realizing that hormones play a role. So I really want everybody listening to hear what we're saying. And I love that you highlighted like, PMs is not normal, disman or a pain on your period is not normal. But we have normalized it, it's common in our culture, but it's not normal. So how do you speak to women about ho the, the vast array of problems that hormones can cause.   (19:38): Yes. So before we even get into, there's something that you said there was really important just like a group of women together and what we're talking about, right? And this might be like a cultural thing. I think there's a like a bigger thing going on here where we, we tend to want to talk about our problems to connect and what can happen sometimes in a healing journey for a woman. She gets so identified with her symptoms because it gives her reason to take care of herself. It gives her reason to connect with her neighbor or her girlfriends that without it sometimes it's hard to move through life because now it's become part of our identity. So I think the first thing for us women to do is like, okay, what are the things that we're actually celebrating with each other? Or does misery like companies so much that we want to talk about our problems?   (20:26): And I think there should be a safe place for us to be able to communicate all that's going on. And I think we also have to question like how much of of that am I keeping in my life? Because that is what gets me connection or that is what gives me permission to tell my husband or my partner that hey, I need to go get a massage today. I need to go do this because I have this thing going on. So I think reframing what self-care and self-worth and all those things are. So a part of that, I just wanted to touch on that before stepping into the the hormone piece. Cause I think it's, it's just a reframe that I think all of us women kind of need for ourselves.   (21:01): Absolutely. Thank you for doing that.   (21:03): Yeah. And then when it comes to, so how do we like educate women that everything is connected to hormones? Well, when we think about, I'm just gonna bring up stress again cuz that's just so common. Like I'm under stress, I've got a deadline, I've got insomnia, I've got all these things going on. These hormones are the ones that are taking the message from your brain that your brain has received this message from the outside world and your internal world and now has to tell your organs to secrete these hormones. To bring that message to the next piece in order for the body to function the way it needs to go without hormones. So for example, when you're eating food hormones are at play, your glucose and your insulin. Insulin is a hormone. And we don't realize that, you know, as we're aging and stepping into menopause and all of a sudden we have some weight in around our belly, and we're eating the same that we did maybe 10 years ago and not being able to digest like we did before.   (21:56): Cuz insulin is shifting. If insulin is high, your testosterone is low. And for women we need testosterone. It's for our motivation, it's for libido, it's for lean muscle mass. So now the everyday things that we do all connect back to hormones, what we eat, the pesticides that are sprayed on our fruits and vegetables look like estrogen, which is a hormone. The products that we're using on our skins have hormone disruptors which change our hormones. Everything in our environment, in our thoughts and beliefs in our physiology is impacted by hormones or, or is impacting the hormones. (22:36): It's so true. And I talk with women every day, they say, but kirin, I don't know how to do it differently. My life is my life. I've got two kids. Um, I've got a partner, I have certain responsibilities at home. I have a job, you know, I've got an an ill elderly parent, I have to care for, I have my commute. That's not gonna change. I have all these things in my life. My life is set up this way. How in the world do I even start to tease it all apart and do it differently? Yeah. So where do you start? Where do you tell them to start? Yeah.   (23:13): Yeah. One moment at a time. I mean the first thing is recognizing stress is always going to be there. Life is the, this is life. But how we respond to it can be a choice. So bringing in daily habits, habit stacking I find is helpful. So everyone's brushing their teeth in the morning. So while you're brushing your teeth, maybe you have a mantra written on your mirror that you're repeating in your mind when you're brushing your teeth. So there now you've just given yourself some me time to connect with something a little bit bigger than you. Maybe you have a non-negotiable every day. So I actually get women to make a joy list. So you have your joy list. What are the things that give me joy? And it can be something so simple for me it's a cup of tea. So then I make sure every day I'm having a little bit of time to myself with that cup of tea.   (24:00): So now that's bringing calm into your nervous system. So it's retraining that pattern that is go, go, go. But instead it's reteaching the mind that hey, no, she is pausing, she is stopping. So now maybe in between the trigger and the response, there'll be some space and time for her to not react with that anxiety and that rush that shows up in her world. So starting with these simple things, maybe it's not taking something away from your diet, maybe it's adding something good, maybe it's adding like a greens powder, maybe it's adding some more healthy fats. Maybe it's adding something so that you feel like you've done something that day for yourself and that in itself feels like a victory. So then you desire it more. So you start with one thing, then the next thing and the next thing. Even with detoxifying our environment that impacts our hormones, I always say start with one room.   (24:52): Maybe we start with the bathroom and we look at the products for using. But you do it in stages, so it doesn't feel overwhelming, and it feels like this lifestyle shift that you can do. I've got two boys, two businesses, you know there are so many things that we all do. And I think the moment we realize we are worth it because we have this one vehicle and this lifetime to have the experiences that we want to dream the life that we want. So our job, it is our duty to take care of this vehicle.   (25:21): Yeah. I love this other quote you shared with me. By creating a morning routine, you are not only priming your body and mind for the day, but giving your soul a gift of nourishment and love. Mm-hmm , I love that. And I find if I start my morning right with the right routine, the rest of the day becomes so much easier. But if you're some reason I get thrown off of that routine then the rest of the day can be quite challenging. Mm-hmm , you mentioned something else in there. You said that you could get some space between trigger and response and I know what you're talking about, but I don't know that everybody does. So can you explain that?   (26:06): Yes. So when we have a conversation with somebody, we're watching something and all of a sudden we start to feel this like inner emotion coming up. Maybe it's rage, maybe it's anxiety, maybe it's something else kind of fueling our brain to react. Maybe the reaction is sadness, maybe the reaction is irritation in that moment in between there, in between that input we have like a millisecond to decide are we going to react to this or are we going to observe our own reaction and then respond to it. So there's a famous quote by Dr. Victor Frankel. He um, wrote the book, Man Search for Meaning. And there's another book called The Choice by Dr. Edith Edgar. And they're both Holocaust survivors. So he speaks to freedom and how freedom actually lies in that space between a stimulus and our response to that. Cause we've all been through it, someone says something and we react and we realize after like, oh you know, that's not how I wanted to show up but because I felt the way I did, I showed up that way.   (27:13): Maybe we, you know, maybe it's with our kids, we get irritated because it's a week before our period or you know, the, we haven't slept well and we're reacting to life instead of actually responding. So I find when you give ourselves space in the morning or whenever it is for you, it practices that we get to practice that so that in our everyday moments when there's a trigger that shows up instead of reacting right away, we can take a breath and we can pause and then we can choose how we're going to react. Cuz I do feel like that's true freedom cuz we're not now, we're not reacting because something else is taking over. It's not controlling us, but instead we're in the driver's seat of our life when we do that.   (27:54): Right. Thank you for explaining that. And that was certainly something I had to learn on my healing journey cuz when you're triggered, that's your sympathetic nervous system. Mm-hmm going into overdrive. And so really learning how to put a pause in there and do it differently. And a lot of us who had big T traumas or little T traumas are nervous systems are primed to go into that sympathetic drive like very quickly. So learning to just get into that observer mind and not have that knee-jerk reaction I know has been key for me. Is it, is it something that you help women to develop a practice around and how, how do you help them do that?   (28:38): Mm-hmm . Yeah. And I think what you said something before that was really important. You know, women try to meditate and all of a sudden they're like, I can't meditate too many things on my mind. I think there's a myth that meditation, you're supposed to feel complete bliss, but really, as you probably know, meditation helps you unravel the story. So it's not always bliss. And I think that looks differently for everyone. So that joyless is the first thing that I get women to make. Cuz maybe your meditation is going for a walk in nature or maybe it's dancing or maybe it is putting on a good show on Netflix because it's bringing you laughter and joy just for that moment. Mm-hmm . So I think finding what brings you joy first helps to create just space for you to do something for yourself. And then me bring in this element of like, okay, I'm gonna give you a three minute, one to three minute breath that you can just practice.   (29:28): So you're just placing your hands on your body and you're just breathing and that's easy, we can all breathe. Right? So once we start that and then they kind of get to the next level like, oh yeah, that was easy. I could do them. Okay, now that you've done one to three minutes, why don't we try five minutes or 10 minutes or why don't we break it up, do it in the morning and do it in the evening. So we start creating these little habits and then educating the women on, you know, all the choices we're making throughout the day are going to fuel those hormones. So when you choose something, when you're about to choose a food or what you're going to watch or conversation that you're gonna have, ask yourself a question, Is this going to nourish me? And if the answer is no, maybe we make a different choice. If the answer is no and we still do it, then maybe no later without any shame or judgment we ask ourselves, Huh, I wonder what that was about. So I find the more we question, the easier it becomes to remove judgment, to remove shame, but to really just observe who we are. And I find that's key to falling in love with yourself again, cuz that morning is that time to fall in love with yourself, which is so important.   (30:34): So I love that you just said that because it's really tossed around love yourself. You have to love yourself first. All this, but talk about what does that mean, self love? I think that people could use more clarity on that.   (30:49): Yes. Yeah. It's triggering. It's like, well how do you do that? What does that even mean? And for me, and I'll speak to just from my experience and the women that I've worked with, it's when I'm making choices that fuel me instead of deplete me. So when I'm making a choice to eat food that I know are going to energize myself, I'm loving myself. If I choose to go somewhere out of obligation, I mean I come from a really big Indian family, we have weddings every week and there's all this stuff going on all the time. And if I'm going because I have to, I'm not loving myself At that moment, it's an obligation. But if I'm going out of joy and wanting to connect with my family, then I'm loving myself. So I think it's in our daily choices and that shows us that we are worthy, that it's our birthright to be in joy and we can fall in love with ourselves and love ourselves and it's through those choices.   (31:43): Yeah. I always say that self-love is a verb, it's not a feeling. Mm-hmm . And it's the act, it's the love that you give yourself when you set boundaries internally with yourself, when you set boundaries externally and when you take those actions, exactly like you said, that move you towards health. And that gets to another quote that you shared with me before we started. True health is the result of choosing habits that help you enhance your life rather than help you escape it. Yes. And so many of us, this was true of me too. My life was just crazy chaos. And so in order to escape it, I was basically medicating with food and wine and coffee and TV and all the things that we all use to escape it. I didn't realize that's what I was doing. And so how do you help women kind of wake up to really pay attention to what they're doing and make different choices?   (32:44): Yeah, so that, I actually observed when I was sitting in Spain one day. Yeah. And I was just watching people and I was watching these elders and they're like, you know, arm in arm dressed up on a Sunday afternoon making out on the bench, you know, just like in their like true bliss. And then you see them going and having their taps and their, and their wine and things. And I'm like, hey, this culture that eats at like 10:00 PM or midnight drinks all day, . And why are they living longer? What is the secret here? And again, it I, I went back to 'em like it's connection. We're all searching to go back home. We're all searching for that connection. So when we're escaping, like what, why don't we feel safe in the moment that we're in? So I will always seed these questions for women and then if we look at the habits that we have, okay, are we choosing coffee to wind up wind to wind down and feeling like we deserve that wine at the end of the day?   (33:39): Cuz we've made it through the day, right? And we all have our things questioning, Okay, what if I didn't have that wine? Would I still feel deserving of rest? Would I feel deserve of a walk around the block? What is that giving me? And often women by themselves, I don't even have to say anything they know, they already know, right? No, it's not serving me. It actually gives me insomnia. I can't sleep well then my digestion's off the next day and now I have no energy. And it's this vicious cycle. So once we start changing that relationship with that thing that we think is helping us, then all of a sudden we can shift that relationship. And then later on maybe we bring it in once in a while and it's more about a having it for joy rather than depending on it to escape.   (34:20): Yeah, I know that's true in my life. I used to have the wine to wind down and then when I got on this path, I said, Well that's not healthy. It's hurting my gut. It's unbalancing my blood sugar. It's causing all kinds of problems. So I started doing yin yoga in the evenings to wind down and I, I couldn't believe that, you know, an hour of yin yoga would restore me to feel better than a glass of wine. So that replaced. And then the coffee in the morning, I stopped that and I started going for real vigorous hit training in the morning. And that got me the energy that I needed and just replacing habits one by one and really making conscious choices. So instead of trying to escape my life, and I also wanna give a little hope to any woman out there who is, as I described earlier, but ki I've got, you know, all these responsibilities, this is my life, I can't do it any differently.   (35:16): I used to think the same thing and people would say to me, Well you should just stop delivering babies, right? Just do gynecology. No I can't. Women depend on me. You know? And I couldn't see how I could do it differently. And I worked with this one life coach back then, and she had me, she said, Just, I want you to write every day my life is and how it feels. Peaceful, joyful, free, all. And I thought she was crazy. But I just kept writing it. I kept writing it. And you know, fast forward a decade, my life looks completely different. And it is all those things that I wrote about. And so I think if you really focus on your intention and what is the feeling you want to cultivate in your life organically, these things start to change and you start making more empowered choices. Yeah. What do you think?   (36:07): Yeah, yeah. I mean it's like that example, all of a sudden you think about buying a red car and then you're seeing red cars everywhere. Whereas before you thought there's no red cars around, of course I'm gonna get a red car. And it's the same thing with this like self care and manifesting the kind of life that you want. And it's, as soon as you focus on it, it's like what Tony Robbins says, What you focus on grows. So as soon as you start focusing on all of a sudden these opportunities show up, conversations, podcasts that you're listening to, things start to come into your life that give you the signal or this like nudge towards that direction that you're trying to move towards. But are we listening to them is the other question. So we can we pause enough to kind of see what they're trying to speak to us and are we listening to that inner voice too that's trying to tell us the same thing?   (36:51): And I think when you do something repeatedly, I mean yoga get training, they teach this too. Like when you're doing a meditation for 40 days, 66 days, 90 days, like there's an actual change that's happening in the patterning of your nervous system. So we're changing that relationship you were speaking to, you know, doing that hit work out in the morning, that's giving you that real dopamine rise for a longer period. So you're feeling that joy in your brain instead of this like a quick dopamine that we get from, you know, put into cart and then go on on Amazon or somewhere else that we might be escaping life from. And so I think, yeah, what you said is key that we really, we are all busy, we have these full lives and that won't change, but how we respond to it, we can change.   (37:42): Yes. Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom with us today, Dr. Soya. I'd love for you to tell everyone about your book, your podcast. We won't have a link in the show notes to Dr. Sonia's website. Dr You Jensen, j e n s e n.com. She has a free download there she's gonna tell you about. So tell everybody about all the places they can find you and all the wonderful things you've created for them. (38:10): Thank you. So you can find me on Instagram as well, Dr. Sonya Jensen there and the website and my book, Woman Unleashed, it's Revive or Release Your Story, Revive Your Hormones, Reclaim Your Freedom. And it was, it's a lot of me that's in there, my story and also my patient stories and how we just linked everything in this conversation too. So it's, it's kind of a self-discovery book that you can utilize and every chapter has a pause moment that allows you moments to reflect or to understand yourself better. And if you go to the website, put your email in, you will get the first three chapters, which has the quiz in those first three chapters. So you can figure out if you're a diva, a duchess, or a dance. Yeah,   (38:53): . I am gonna go take that. I wanna know which one I am. I have suspicion, but . Awesome. Well, thank you so much for sharing this wonderful wisdom with everyone. I so appreciate it. And for everybody listening, thank you for tuning in and spending this time with us today. We're really grateful that you've taken time to nurture yourself by getting some information and inspiration. And I'd love for you to take action and share with us on social media what you did. Don't just let this be information and inspiration, but actually take action. That's how change happens, right, Sonya?   (39:32): Absolutely. Thank you so much and thank you for all the work that you're doing and for this platform too. You're changing so many lives and it's, I just love seeing women empowering other women. Thank you.   (39:43): Thank you. And thank you all for joining me for another episode of The Hormone Prescription with Dr. Kirin. Look forward to seeing you next week. And until then, peace, love, and hormones y'all.   (39:56): Thank you so much for listening. I know that incredible vitality occurs for women over 40 when we learn to speak hormones and balance these vital regulators to create the health and the life that we deserve. If you're enjoying this podcast, I'd love it if you'd give me a review and some subscribe. It really does help this podcast out so much. You can visit the hormone prescription.com where we have some free gifts for you, and you can sign up to have a hormone evaluation with me on the podcast to gain clarity into your personal situation. Until next time, remember, take small steps each day to balance your hormones and watch the wonderful changes in your health that begin to unfold for you. Talk to you soon.   ► Get FREE downloads from Dr. Sonya Jensen - Moon & Seed Cycling CLICK HERE.   ► Feeling tired? Can't seem to lose weight, no matter how hard you try?   It might be time to check your hormones.   Most people don't even know that their hormones could be the culprit behind their problems. But at Her Hormone Club, we specialize in hormone testing and treatment. We can help you figure out what's going on with your hormones and get you back on track.   We offer advanced hormone testing and treatment from Board Certified Practitioners, so you can feel confident that you're getting the best possible care. Plus, our convenient online consultation process makes it easy to get started.   Try Her Hormone Club for 30 days and see how it can help you feel better than before.   CLICK HERE to sign up.

Victor Frankel quote

In this episode, Dr. Pauline Boss, esteemed scientist practitioner who coined the term 'Ambiguous Loss,' discusses the meaning of Ambiguous Loss and how it differs from other losses. Drawing upon powerful examples, Dr. Boss discusses physical ambiguous loss and psychological ambiguous loss due to dementia from disease, brain injury etc. She clarifies that Ambiguous Loss is not a result of pathology, but rather the ambiguity of the circumstances of loss. Using examples like the families of 9-11 she describes the understandable impact on a family when a parent is gone but loss cannot be substantiated. With the aim of building resilience rather than pathologizing, Dr. Boss discusses the Psychological Family, the Family Narrative and the ability to engage Dialectical Thinking - 'my husband is both absent and present in our hearts and minds.' Dr. Boss references Victor Frankel's Importance Of Finding Meaning, Adjusting Mastery Up Or Down and discovering 'New Hope' by risking change.

In this episode, Dr. Pauline Boss, esteemed scientist practitioner who coined the term 'Ambiguous Loss,' discusses the meaning of Ambiguous Loss and how it differs from other losses. Drawing upon powerful examples, Dr. Boss discusses physical ambiguous loss and psychological ambiguous loss due to dementia from disease, brain injury etc. She clarifies that Ambiguous Loss is not a result of pathology, but rather the ambiguity of the circumstances of loss. Using examples like the families of 9-11 she describes the understandable impact on a family when a parent is gone but loss cannot be substantiated. With the aim of building resilience rather than pathologizing, Dr. Boss discusses the Psychological Family, the Family Narrative and the ability to engage Dialectical Thinking - 'my husband is both absent and present in our hearts and minds.' Dr. Boss references Victor Frankel's Importance Of Finding Meaning, Adjusting Mastery Up Or Down and discovering 'New Hope' by risking change.

Brant and Sherri intend to talk briefly about humility and end up talking not so briefly about humility (and a several other things). Quotes: “If you want to know about humility, I'm your guy!” “The song has a spooky early 70's vibe.” “It strokes our egos to be right.”

In this episode, Anthony and Brian discuss how hope is one of the fundamental emotions giving us purpose in life, how to cultivate hope through positivity, Brian's experience with hope and cancer, tools to build positivity and hope, and how to live a long and fulfilling life, and many other gems throughout the episode.Show Notes:https://www.egolab.us/podcast/show-notes-e4-what-makes-us-human-use-hope-to-build-a-fulfilling-lifeEpisode Summary:We all grapple with life's complexities, yearning for a beacon of hope to guide us. Ever wondered how harnessing hope and optimism can power our dreams, infuse joy and empower us to conquer life's daunting challenges? We're taking you on a deep-dive into this extraordinary force, with profound insights drawn from Victor Frankel's 'Man's Search for Meaning' and an exploration of the potent placebo effect of optimism and hope. Our journey takes us through the critical role of community and support systems in nurturing hope, the stark contrast between solitude and loneliness, and the power of self-compassion, self-love, and gratitude in framing a new perspective on hope. You'll get a peek into the intriguing concept of a 'happiness thermostat' as proposed by Jonathan Haight, and an examination of the lifestyle choices contributing to the impressive longevity of the Okinawan culture. This episode is not just an exploration of hope, but also a testament to its power - as seen in Brian's personal battle with cancer. Learn how Brian embraced positivity to ride through this challenging phase and gain insights from his experience on nurturing hope and living a long, meaningful life. We've got handpicked book recommendations, guided worksheets, and reflective questions to bolster your journey of embracing hope and optimism. So come aboard, and let's illuminate our paths together, with hope as our guiding light.Timestamps(0:00) Intro(0:42) Hope and Finding Your Why(3:43) The Placebo Effect and Hope(6:30) Hope and Communities, Fighting Cancer, Finding The Will to Live, Friendship, and Impermanence(16:33) How to Use Positivity to Cultivate Hope(20:48) Creating a community of Hope within yourself(25:02) Tools for developing Hope, Gratitude, and Optimism(27:30) Is Being Optimistic an Inherent Trait or Can We Develop it?(31:37) Ikigai and Hope - Do Optimistic People Live Longer?(34:13) What If I don't Want To Be Hopeful?

Dr. Shani Fox is a Physician, coach, speaker, and cancer survivor expert. Cancer survivors can regain control of their health and confidence by working with Dr. Shani Fox. She has helped many cancer patients and survivors overcome their fears of recurrence, rebuild relationships, and make the most of their lives after cancer. Dr. Shani's positive remarks on survivors' inherent potential to achieve wellness and happiness make her a popular speaker and writer for cancer survivors. As well as co-authoring The Cancer Survivor's Fear First Aid Kit, she has lectured at notable events such as the Annie Appleseed Conference, the Oncology Association of Naturopathic Professionals annual conference, and the Cancer Support Community. She now gladly accepts podcast invites to speak to cancer survivors, their loved ones, and those who serve them. In her forties, Dr. Shani realized that she was sleepwalking. She was raised in a well-intentioned household. However, Dr. Shani felt like she were the family's black sheep. She was well aware that she was living someone else's life and that if this continued, she would be miserable. Dr. Shani's father served as an inspiration. She came close to losing him when he was 52 years old due to an accident, but he lived another 28 years. Within those 28 years, her father lived each day as if it were his last, leading an extraordinary life. The book "Victor Frankel's Man's Search for Meaning" discusses the importance of making good decisions. The act of making a decision and committing to it is tremendously powerful because everything that follows is what is required to get there, and it helps to put things in perspective. Dr. Shani was up close and personal with pancreatic cancer since her father died of the disease when she decided to become a doctor and experienced the loss of a loved one to the disease. Despite being diagnosed with the disease, she saw that her father fought it and refused to let it limit what he could accomplish, continuing to visit friends and family. It was an inspiration for Dr. Shani to watch. In this episode, Dr. Shani discusses embracing new beliefs to begin a new chapter in your life. She emphasizes the need to surround oneself with people who value and trust your decisions to go through such a process and recognize that these decisions are crucial to discovering your true self and purpose. Episode 188 of the Beyond Adversity Podcast is a must-listen for anyone who feels living a different life and feels lost in the process. It's for people who are still searching for their true calling, the true meaning of their lives, and accepting that not everyone you know will take your new beliefs and changes, and it's for those pivotal moments when you can see who genuinely and honestly supports your decision to grow and find inner peace. "The Beyond Adversity Podcast with Dr. Brad Miller is published weekly with the mission of helping people "Grow Through What They Go Through" as they navigate adversity and discover their promised life of peace, prosperity, and purpose. Websites: https://drshanifox.com/ (https://drshanifox.com/)  YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/DrShaniFox (https://www.youtube.com/c/DrShaniFox)  LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drshanifox (https://www.linkedin.com/in/drshanifox)  Twitter: https://twitter.com/drshanifox  (https://twitter.com/drshanifox ) Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/cancersurvivordoc/ (https://www.facebook.com/cancersurvivordoc/) 

Ajahn Karunadhammo recounts his reading of Victor Frankel’s: Man’s Search for Meaning. He explores how we can use extremely adverse circumstances to open our hearts and act with goodwill and compassion. This talk was offered on November 4, 2021 at Abhayagiri Buddhist Monastery.

Who is Paul?In addition to being a member of the International Coach Federation, I’m a Fellow of the Chartered Institute of Management Accountants, a Fellow of the Chartered Institute of Management Consultants and Advisors, an NLP Business Practitioner, Regional President of the Professional Speaking Association, a Maynooth University approved trainer, a mentor with the Irish Stock Exchange for companies proceeding to Initial Public Offering (IPO), a business mentor for Enterprise Ireland, and a trained facilitator with the Dr Demartini Institute, and have studied a plethora of areas including electrical engineering, computer programming, taxation, human behaviour, and philosophy.Key TakeawaysYou don't have to be famous to feel that you're not getting what, it touches everybody When you're on your purpose, and you're doing work that's in line with your purpose, well, then that's when your passion increases and increases exponentially. Because it's a different type of passion. It's an inner passion, and the love and the joy what Napoleon Hill referred to, it's that burning desire within yourself to make a difference.The secret of success is knowing your true life purpose. Valuable Free Resource or ActionThere is a community and free ebook at https://paulwilliamdavis.com/TranscriptNote, this was transcribed using a transcription software and may not reflect the exact words used in the podcast) Stuart Webb 0:40 I'm here today with Paul Davis. Paul is an ultra popular business advisor, you get a massive amount of experience huge amount of experience. As an intuitive personal advisor, bestselling author, award winning business growth consultant speaker, and he he says that his clients regularly refer to him as a game changer when it comes to the insights that he shares with them, and results they achieve. So I'm rather hoping we're going to get some of that today as we have our discussion. It's a cup of coffee. Paul, I hope you're there with your cup of coffee major here. Welcome to the podcast, Paul. Good, good, good to be here. That's really embarrassing when you read that stuff. You too muddy? So let's just start with with with the obvious first question. So who is your ideal client? what's the what's the the biggest challenge that they face?Paul Davies 11:22 Sure. Okay. So my ideal clients or their business owners, the vast majority of my clients will be in professional services. But I've worked with a lot of executives, CEOs, C suite individuals, celebrities, and people that we well known as well in the marketplace, and, and work with them from in a number of different aspects. But typically, what they do for comment to me, they're typically in space, that they're looking for a bit of clarity, they're looking for a direction for life. So people will, for some of them, people will perceive as being hugely successful, that they have everything that you know that either the business is going well, or that they have everything that people perceive that people should have less that way. And so people do see them as being successful. but inwardly they're saying, Do you watch, I, you know, the business is going well, but I'm not actually, I'm not getting anything from myself. And so they're looking for a bit of clarity, looking for direction, they will regularly use terms along the lines of I feel like I'm just on the hamster wheel on a treadmill. And I'm just going from day to day, and just not getting any fulfillment, I'm going to crossroads, I there's no purpose, there's no meaning in my life. And so inwardly, they will be quite sad or unhappy. That's for that way. And they're searching for more meaning and more purpose in their life.Stuart Webb 12:46 common to many people, isn't it? Paul, you don't have to be famous to feel that you're not getting whatPaul Davies 12:50 it felt absolutely not, though, that it touches every, every every walk of life and every individual to be honest.Stuart Webb 12:57 Yeah. So one of the common mistake people make when we try to solve that problem without without getting help from somebody like yourself.Paul Davies 13:04 And it's, well, it's something that somebody is not going to discuss with anybody else. For the vast majority of my clients, they, they have to hold on to their persona, in terms of so the run under business order, they're very senior individual, and therefore they've got employees, they've got a team and all that kind of thing. So therefore, if they were to let their guards down, that has a huge impact on them. And it has a potential to for one bad word to their fear is that it could ruin their life, it could render business, it could ruin everything that they're seeing as being both in their family, their society, their team members, and so on. So a lot of them won't seek out help from the perspective of they don't know where to go to be quite honest. They don't fall into the category of well, I should go to a therapist or should go to the counselor or like, it's not really that it's kind of it's just just constant search for what's going to give me meaning or fulfillment. So what a lot of people do is they they go and search online, and then they do watch pretty much the vast majority of people out there do to try and find purpose and meaning. And what they find is that, you know, they'll come across things along the lines of, you know, if you take Victor Frankel's book, Viktor Frankl was was the person that survived the concentration camp during the war. And he wrote a book Man's Search for Meaning. And so if you read the book, you'll understand so you know what perfect, Frankel says, you know, the meaning of life is the meaning you give it. But it still doesn't answer the question for the individual. Because literally, really what you could say is well, okay, you could give meaning to anything. And it's the meaning that you give something that gives you meaning, but that's it doesn't answer the question doesn't solve the problem. And then other things that you find online, or people that are books or people that they read or training courses, for example, they'll say, Well, you know, you got to find your passion. If you find your passion, then that's your purpose, and turn that into Your purpose turns out into your business and so on. But it's actually not that that's actually incorrect. Because what I've discovered is that passion follows purpose. But what I mean by that is like, I'm passionate about a lot of different things. I love red wine. I love horse riding, I love everything that's to do with life related. And we've seen recently, just just in last weekend, in terms of Richard Branson going into outer space, yeah, I would absolutely be number one on on that ticket. And so they're my passion is, that's what I love. But it has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with my purpose. So when people try and find their passion, in order to find a purpose, is actually the wrong way around. When you're on your purpose, and you're doing work that's in line with your purpose, well, then that's when your passion increases and increases exponentially. Because it's a different type of passion. It's an inner passion, and the love and the joy what Napoleon Hill referred to, it's that burning desire within yourself to make a difference. So it's, it's, it's, that's what's actually drives passion. And then we would have heard terms in relation to, you know, find your why. And if you find this, why,Stuart Webb 16:04 exactly what I was just thinking, Paul, I'm fairly sure that you were going to bring that out.Paul Davies 16:08 It's, it's not because then again, lymphokines way you can apply of why to anything. But you got to know your purpose first, before you can apply your why. So people try and see and here's the here's the biggest mistake discharge, people try and find out why but they're consciously thinking, to work out what your why is. And as business consultant, I've come across this so many times in terms of, because we've heard so many other business coaches or mentors or trainers, not offended and talk about finding your voice. But they're talking about from a conscious perspective, your why your true why what I call your genius inspiration that comes from your unconscious. So you'll never be able to find it, I bring my clients sure way of how to find it from your unconscious, because you got to look for the evidence. But trying to work it out consciously is never going to give it but the thing is, you need to know your purpose first meaning you got to know your what your mission is. And when you know, your mission, which is your purpose, though is to wash your to do well then now to fly, make the mud, the wind makes sense to what your mission is. So that's that there's some of the mistakes that people find. But honestly, it's it's what's out there. And I'm very, very unique and in want to do very, very unique and how we do it as well. And Bush, it that's the information that's out there online and books and articles things. And unfortunately, it brings a lot of people down a lot of cul de sacs and they still end up having that sense of, it's still not giving me what I want. It's still not telling me what I need to do in this life. What What am I supposed to do? What's the direction supposed to go in? So that's typically what you find.Stuart Webb 17:45 It's great resource, the internet is net, but it doesn't actually help you discover some of those things. Because there is so much out there, you still get that guy to help you move in the right direction to discover what you're trying to try and try to pull that has been hugely insightful. What's the valuable free, action valuable free resource that you'd leave with the audience today to sort of get them to sort of start that journey themselves?Paul Davies 18:10 Yeah, absolutely, that there's two things that the audience can can gain access to. One is if I'm building a community of purpose driven business owners, so these are business owners that wants to, there's two for one bad word, two communities within one community. There's the community that are business owners that want to find out their budget purposes, and they want to develop more personal mastery skills. So if people go to the executive coach calm, and they find out enough, a lot more information that you can go to my website, and there's a link on the website. But the executive coach comm would bring them to the actual community itself. And then also within the community is people that I've helped him to find what their purpose is, I'm bringing through a particular methodology, you could call the pilots manual. And when when they go through the pilots manual, now they know exactly what their purpose is. And they offer those groups of people now what we're doing is we're building and scaling a business around what's our purposes. So it's a proper purpose driven business, if you follow what I mean. And that's one free resource. It's, it's freely available to join. It's not on any social media, which is absolutely perfect for my audience. And I personally don't like social media, a lot of my business owners and clients don't like social media, either. So I've actually built the community on a standalone profit platform, completely off social media. And also if people go to my website, if you go to Paul, William Davis, calm, there's a free ebook that I have on there. And that's I taught all of it, what's the meaning of life? And how to how do you actually find your life purpose? And so I debunk a lot of myths that are out there. And like what I've just said around relation to finding your why and so on. So I talk a little bit more about those in the book itself. But then I also give you the the structure of how do you actually find your true purpose and so Both freely available to your listeners. Great.Stuart Webb 20:03 Thank you. Thank you. So what's that concept or book or program that's been most impactful in your experience?Paul Davies 20:10 I've had a lot of time with this question before I came on the interview Stewart, and there is so many books and people that have come across over the years I've worked with, I've worked with amazing geniuses out there. And they've all be phenomenal. They've all made a huge, huge impact. But what I went back to was false. The starting point on one of my journeys, as we're going through, and the book that came up was the power of the subconscious mind, which is by Dr. Joseph Murphy. And that, for me was kind of an insight is that Oh, my god detector is much, much bigger here. And so that was, as well as the light bulb moment for pandas reading that book.Stuart Webb 20:47 Yeah, yeah, it's interesting. One of the most beneficial concepts that I came across very early in my career was that johari window, which is a very simple thing to talk about, which is, you know, how much of what our behavior, our our understanding of myself is still buried beneath the surface that we ourselves are not even aware of. So I agree with you that that sort of concept is an incredibly powerful, it's something you must understand that otherwise, you never get to understand the way in which you behave. Other people understand you anyway. Absolutely. Yeah. So it's been a fascinating discussion. But I guess there's one question that I should have asked you, which I haven't. So I'm now going to ask you to pose that question. And please, the answer to that question. Otherwise, that will make people sitting there unfulfilled with a lack of action? IUnknown Speaker 21:33 don't know whether I'll give you the answer, though. That's the only thing. The only question you should have asked is, what's the secret to success?Unknown Speaker 21:42 Actually, in my view, the secret of success is knowing your true life purpose. I don't mean your true life purpose, which comes from your unconscious. And so it's not something you create, literally, it's guided from your unconscious. So when you know your true life purpose, that's the single most powerful way for you to enable to you to actually reach your full potential.Unknown Speaker 22:01 Well, that's been an incredibly insightful interview. Thank you so much for your time on the podcast. I really appreciate the time you've taken to come and do this. Folks. If you would like to hear more of the stuff that we're doing here. It's not rocket science. five questions over coffee, I'm sure a copy of that. I've just been so fascinated. I've not been able to even take this out. But the Paul's got the time now. Please subscribe to the newsletter. You can get that by going to tcaa dot FYI, forward slash, subscribe that tcaa dot FYI, forward slash subscribe and get on the newsletter distribution so that you can hear more about what we do. Paul, thank you so much for your time today. It's been insightful. I look forward to getting the copies of getting into bold in those communities myself as a purpose driven business owner myself. Really appreciate the time you spent with us today. Subscribe to our newsletter and get details of when we are doing these interviews live at https://TCA.fyi/newsletterFind out more about being a guest at : link.thecompleteapproach.co.uk/beaguestSubscribe to the podcast at https://link.thecompleteapproach.co.uk/podcastHelp us get this podcast in front of as many people as possible. Leave a nice five-star review at  apple podcasts : https://link.thecompleteapproach.co.uk/apple-podcasts and on YouTube : https://link.thecompleteapproach.co.uk/Itsnotrocketscienceatyt!Here's how you can bring your business to THE next level:1. Download my free resource on everything you need to grow your business on a single pageMy approach is to provide you with tools, techniques and templates which have been tested and proven by me and hundreds of business owners like you to explode their business growth; get them "investment ready"; or develop a "prospectus for sale" to enable them to plan an exit. Here is a detailed breakdown of how you can grow your business to 7-figures in a smart and sustainable way. https://link.thecompleteapproach.co.uk/1page2. Join The Complete Approach Facebook Group :  https://TCA.fyi/fb Connect with like-minded individuals who are all about growth and increasing revenue. It's a Facebook community where we make regular posts aimed at inspiring conversations in a supportive environment. It's completely free and purposely aimed at expanding and building networks.3. Join our Success to Soar Program and get TIME and FREEDOM. : https://link.thecompleteapproach.co.uk/Success-to-SoarIf you're doing 10-50k a month right now: I'm working with a few business owners like you to change that, without working nights and weekends. If you'd like to get back that Time and still Scale, check the link above.4. Work with me privatelyIf you'd like to work directly with me and my team to take you from 5 figure to 6 and multi-6 figure months, whilst reducing reliance on you. Click on https://link.thecompleteapproach.co.uk/DiscoveryCall  tell me about your business and what you'd like to work on together, and I'll get you all the details. Get full access to It's Not Rocket Science! at thecompleteapproach.substack.com/subscribe

The second part of our meaning and purpose double bill; we further discuss the existential therapy of Irving Yalom in more detail, logotherapy as devised by Victor Frankel and get advice from children, friends and Disney about what really matters in life. We also respond to a listener problem about destiny. If you are in distress, crisis, or need urgent help contact The Samaritans in your current location. OR: In Northern Ireland contact lifeline on 0808 808 8000 In ROI Call 116 123 to speak to a Samaritan England -  https://www.nhs.uk/service-search/mental-health/find-an-urgent-mental-health-helpline Wales - C.A.L.L. Mental Health Helpline for Wales - 0800 132 737 (FREE and available 24/7) Text help to 81066. Scotland - https://www.seemescotland.org/urgent-help/ The USA - If you or someone you know is in crisis, please call 911, go to the nearest emergency room, call 1-800-273-TALK (8255) to reach a 24-hour crisis center or text MHA to 741741 at the Crisis Text Line. Canada - https://www.canada.ca/en/public-health/services/mental-health-services/mental-health-get-help.html Australia- Lifeline (call 13 11 14)

I finish "Man's Search For Meaning" on my camping trip.  And looking up the side of the mountain I immediately have an opportunity to put his ideas in practice.  It's better than NetFlix!Administrative: (See episode transcript below)Check out the Tools For A Good Life Summit here: Virtually and FOR FREE https://bit.ly/ToolsForAGoodLifeSummitStart podcasting!  These are the best mobile mic's for IOS and Android phones.  You can literally take them anywhere on the fly.Get the Shure MV88 mobile mic for IOS,  https://amzn.to/3z2NrIJGet the Shure MV88+ for  mobile mic for Android  https://amzn.to/3ly8SNjGet A Course In Miracles Here! https://amzn.to/3hoE7sAAccess my “Insiders Guide to Finding Peace” here: https://belove.media/peaceSee more resources at https://belove.media/resourcesEmail me: contact@belove.mediaFor social Media:      https://www.instagram.com/mrmischaz/https://www.facebook.com/MischaZvegintzovSubscribe and share to help spread the love for a better world!As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.Transcript: Mischa Z: 00:03 All right. Victor E Frankl, Frankl Frankl. Yes. Victor E Frankl. "Man's Search For Meaning" more thoughts of my camping trip. Um, on the last episode, I was going to say how Victor Frankl perhaps inspired me, or I got to draw a direct correlation between service and, um, how Victor Frankel thinks what drives man is meaning having meaning in your life. And Victor breaks it down into three main ways. It's not necessarily what I'm going to do on this episode because I've not prepared. Gosh, you'd hope I would be, but there's lots of winging it these days. Um, it seems that there's always something going on. Let it rip, let it rip, take the messy action. Anybody out there wanting to create a podcast, a blog, a YouTube channel who wants to start, you know, getting their thoughts, ideas, their message out there, or maybe they just want to entertain who knows what the motive is, but they want to use a blog, a YouTube channel, um, a podcast as a mechanism for this or this, the source to do that.Mischa Z: 01:29 Take the messy action. Just take the messy action. That's what I'm going to tell you because you probably, well, I'm guessing you don't have an audience yet, so no one's going to be there to judge you. And if you do have an audience while they know who you are anyways, so no big deal take the messy action is which what I seem to be gifted with doing, taking the messy action on my podcast. So Viktor Frankl, um, you know, one of the things he talks about is his, his meaning how having a purpose in your life, and it does not have to be big and it doesn't have to be, it's having meaning in the moment. That's what it is. It's having meaning meaning in the moment. And he talks a lot about it in regards to the concentration camp experience and how people can derive meaning in life, even though they're headed towards death rapidly or they're seeing it or, or all of this.Mischa Z: 02:40 And I am, I'm hesitant to talk about it because it's so extreme. And I'm a white boy from Wyoming who now lives in Encinitas, California making podcast episodes. So, um, one thing I had been saying to a few friends is, you know, as we're trying to detach from controlling people, places and things, and trying to learn how to find joy or meaning in, in the moment and cede control of, of how we think people are supposed to act, feel, think what they're supposed to do, you know, as we're scaling God up bigger and bigger, and then, you know, inevitably someone brings these extreme circumstances of murderers and rapists and, you know, military leaders or, you know, leaders who do lots of damage. Right? And I had this thought of like, well, can we have our god so big and trust so much that there is something greater than this moment of our human existence, that if we were to have an executioner or we could smile lovingly to that executioner, or as they were opening the door to, you know, the, the, the hangman's noose for us, and I'm doing the best I can to talk about that idea, to be willing, to talk about that idea, to conceptualize that idea, given my, given my circumstances.Mischa Z: 04:35 Um, and so fast forward to reading Victor Frankel's book, and then in essence, he's talking about love and finding meaning in the moment as you're, you know, suffering extremely and perhaps dying, um, or being put to death. Um, I'm going to still work on how to talk about that. I think they're, they're interesting ideas. One idea that he floats is, um, is like: if you put even a small amount of gas in an enclosed space, the gas evenly distributes through that space, perfectly, and he correlates that to that, to suffering. He's like, so it doesn't matter how much suffering you have in a human consciousness. If it's a little, it's going to fill up the space. Same as gas fills up the void. And so he's like, Hey, his thesis is suffering a suffering, which is pretty crazy, right? Cause this dude went through for three years in four concentration camps.Mischa Z: 06:07 Um, anyway, I get my, thank you for listening to that. I'm going to try to continue to talk about the ideas that were sussed out, um, by Viktor Frankl in his book and within me. And one thing was, is finding meaning one way to find meaning is service. How can you serve in the moment? And, uh, I love that because I'm all about service. I've talked about it on other episodes. It's a big part of, you know, recovery of the recovery community is carrying the message. How can you be of service? And it's obviously within churches and religions and, and there's plenty of nonprofits out there. And so it's, it's this, isn't a new idea by any means on a big scale, as well as on a small scale. Being nice, forgiving, smiling, opening the door for somebody. Like it can be the tiniest things, a gracious nod, letting somebody in within traffic, like letting somebody in without throwing a fit, flipping them off. You know, if somebody cuts you off graciously, be cut off smile, wave. Thank you.Mischa Z: 07:31 Um, so it's, it's about nine o'clock at night on the camping trip and it's dark and there is a heavy, there's this part of a climb to get to the next lake. I wish I could remember what it is, but it was up heavy, heavy, like you almost wanted to have ropes, but you know, people were doing it with backpacks and things. But a couple of guys we look up and all of a sudden we see headlamps at nine o'clock at night, scaling down this chute to get back to crater, to, um, iceberg lake. And, um, it was hard enough for people to do that part of the hike in daylight let alone at night. So it was, it was honestly better than watching Netflix because it's a very far away, but you can see the two headlight beams and a very dramatic, very dramatic.Mischa Z: 08:31 They make it that it takes them half an hour, 45 minutes, whatever it is. And, um, they walked by us because the trail goes by our campsite and we're talking to them for a second. And I say, Hey, I'm inspired all of a sudden, Hey, do you guys need a campsite? Because they're clearly tired by now. It's 10 o'clock at night and you can't see anything to find a campsite. And, um, I happened to know where a couple of campsites were and they were so relieved and so excited and so happy. And, um, and I just thought of Victor Frankl and being of service and, and how in that moment after just finishing his book, I got to ask those guys if I could help them with a campsite. And we showed him this, uh, ridiculous campsite that we found, and they were just so happy.Mischa Z: 09:28 And, you know, I was gratified in the moment gratified in that I had meaning. And, um, it was just a really cool experience and to be in nature, just feeling the whole vibe of that, all the flow of it all. And, uh, yes, I'm doing a quick time check. Um, that's what I've got for you. The serendipitous events that led to me finishing the whole book and then yeah, I would encourage anybody to read "Man's Search For Meaning". Great, great book, just a great, great book. And I'll talk more about it. Love to all again, I'm going to say, get your tails out there and go camping. Get out in nature detached for two or three days, if you can, but I guess you can do silent retreats, all sorts of things. Um, many people are doing that. I'm just going to encourage you to do it again. If you have done it and absolutely get out there, if you haven't. All right, I'm done peace out.

I brought one book on my camping trip.  Victor E Frankl's “Man's Search For Meaning".  And circumstances allowed me to read the whole thing.  And after a long hike there is nothing like jumping in a mountain lake and drying off on a granite slab.Administrative: (See episode transcript below)Check out the Tools For A Good Life Summit here: Virtually and FOR FREE https://bit.ly/ToolsForAGoodLifeSummitStart podcasting!  These are the best mobile mic's for IOS and Android phones.  You can literally take them anywhere on the fly.Get the Shure MV88 mobile mic for IOS,  https://amzn.to/3z2NrIJGet the Shure MV88+ for  mobile mic for Android  https://amzn.to/3ly8SNjGet A Course In Miracles Here! https://amzn.to/3hoE7sAAccess my “Insiders Guide to Finding Peace” here: https://belove.media/peaceSee more resources at https://belove.media/resourcesEmail me: contact@belove.mediaFor social Media:      https://www.instagram.com/mrmischaz/https://www.facebook.com/MischaZvegintzovSubscribe and share to help spread the love for a better world!As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.Transcript: Mischa Z: 00:04 This episode is going to be more, well, this episode is going to be about "Man's Search For Meaning". "Man's Search For Meaning", Victor E Frankl, and not necessarily about the book, but just about an idea that I had on how to, how to talk about the book, I suppose. Um, and then the serendipitous events on how I got to read the whole book during my camping trip. So again, if you're just jumping in, I just got back from this amazing two or three day camping trip at, uh, at mammoth lakes in mammoth, um, which is in the Southern Sierras, I believe, you'd think I'd know. Um, anyhow, uh, so I go on this trip on this camping trip. I bring a book. This book happens to be "Man's Search For Meaning" Viktor E Frankl. I just noticed too, I'm a trip that his name is Victor E victory.Mischa Z: 01:14 I mean, how great is that? I cannot believe I've never noticed that before. So I bring Victor Victor's book, "Man's Search For Meaning" with me and plan on reading. Some of it I don't was absolutely not planning on reading the whole thing. But the hike and was pretty strenuous for me. It was a good, you know, eight miles plus, uh, you know, two or 3000 elevation gain. And you've got a 25 pound pack on 25 pound plus pack on. And so that can be...it was hard on my knees. I'll just be honest with you. So I was definitely knees were sore on day two. So day one, we hike up there. It's beautiful. Great hike. Just unbelievable. We pass, um, a few lakes. Let's see if I can remember what they are. Ghost lake, I think was one of them. I doesn't matter. We ended up at the third lake, however, iceberg lake iceberg lake, which I've talked about and we got to jump in iceberg lake and then lay on the granite, which is just so good. If anybody, if you have an opportunity to jump on a mountain lake that is ice cold and then dry off and heat yourself on a granite slab mother earth, it does not get much better.Mischa Z: 02:44 So the next day we were planning on doing a 10 mile hike with a little bit of elevation gained, moving on to another campsite. But my knees were pretty sore. And I talked about this on a previous episode two ago, maybe, but that I was being encouraged to hike by my camping partner, Kyle, hello, Kyle, if you're listening and Kyle was like, Hey, let's go. And I was like, I listened to my body and did the self care and was like, no, I am not going. I need a down day. And I cannot tell you what a miracle that is because oftentimes I will just push through it, take some Advil, you know, charge, make it happen, like be strong. And uh, I said, you know what? The universe is telling me, "listen to your body". And I did. And thank goodness I did. So that gave me a full day to hang out at Iceberg lake, which is about, I think it's, you know, nine or 10 it's.Mischa Z: 04:00 I think it was 9,800 feet elevation God's country. It is so beautiful. Just this lake is surrounded on all sides by these massive granted peaks, you know? Um, and then the outlet is where you hike up. That's where the, the, the, um, the lake, you know, turns... The river, drains down, you know, drains out of, out of this out of, I don't know how if I'm saying this right, but it's just beautiful. And the solitude is incredible and the quiet is incredible. And, um, you're far enough out there that a couple people you run into. Um, and so I had an opportunity to dive into "Man's Search For Meaning ",Viktor Frankl and what an intense, heavy, deep book, um, you know, ultimately Viktor Frankl, Viktor Frankl was, and, uh, the death camps during world war II, you know, he started at Auschwitz and then went to three others.Mischa Z: 05:13 So for three years, and he somehow survived and, you know, hence Man's Search For Meaning. And he, you know, he defines his logo therapy, L O G O therapy. I'm not sure if I'm saying that right, but logo, I believe is Latin for "meaning". I believe it is. Anyway. I'll dig back in. I'm not necessarily, this episode is not necessarily to tell you about the meaning of the book, but just to say, I had an opportunity to read the book. And at the same time I need to start. Part of my project is to go on to you...pick three to five groups. Facebook groups that have combined a combined audience of a hundred thousand people. And then you start every day, you do a value post. So a post that adds value to each of those groups, your three to five groups. And every day you answer, it's either two or three questions.Mischa Z: 06:23 Um, question threads, there is three, three questions per group. So to build that habit, those are next steps for me. And so "Man's Search For Meaning”. I just dog-eared so many pages. There were so many great, great sentences and bits of awareness. So my thought was, and hopefully I'll be able to turn some of those inspirations into podcast episodes, but for now I'll finish my thought. It was to take those sentences and create a value post for the group. So what's the sentence. Perhaps I could relate it to an experience of my life in my life. Bam, there's a value post. And that was very exciting to me to be like, oh yes, here's a way here is a way that you can do these daily posts, add value, hopefully create some inspiration or some, you know, some contemplation for people. And then hopefully you inspire them and you inspire them enough that they come look at your Facebook page.Mischa Z: 07:39 Hey, where, who is this guy? Mischa, that's talking about giving us these value bobs as what you'd call them. So that's the theory. So you have that to look forward. You have you get to hear me talk about my progress with that. Does this, as a way to build an audience and to suss out your perfect customer, does it work? Is it effective? And, uh. I thought it was really cool that I listened to my body, held the boundary with my camping friend. Kyle. Stayed at the campsite, just meditated and rested and relaxed and detached and read "Man's Search For Meaning" and had all this great inspiration. So there you have it. I think that's enough for me. I hope I've closed the loop. I'll open another loop. The other loop is next episode. I'm going to talk about how in "Man's Search For Meaning" part of what Victor Frankel's theory is, is that meaning is what drives man, and not pleasure, as Freud says, but meaning. Having meaning and he breaks down meaning and all sorts of cool ways, three ways in particular actually. And they don't have to be...You can still find meaning in the face of your executioner. Which is one thing which is pretty wow. Right? That's what he's talking about. I'm not going to claim to have no that, um, but he does talk about that. But he talks about being of service as one of the ways, you know? Um, and I'm going to tell you how I got to be of service literally after I finished the book. So fun. All right. Love to all. Peace out.

Can psychedelic therapy help depression? We are now in the middle of the first psychedelic resurgence since the last bout of research in the 60's and 70's led by legends of the psychedelic movement like Dr. Stan Grof at Harvard. This resurgence is taking place on two fronts: Firstly, following promising results from Imperial College's Psidep 1 study into the use of Psilocybin, the active ingredient in Magic Mushrooms, to treat treatment-resistant depression; there has been a host of studies around the world at leading universities like Harvard investigating many other compounds as well as Psilocybin like famous rave drug MDMA and horse tranquilliser Ketamine. This is an odd turn of events for compounds that have been systematically demonised by governments and accused of worsening mental health conditions. Secondly, we are seeing a a massive increase in the participation of Ahyuasca rituals, whose active ingredient is DMT, one of the most hallucinogenic compounds in the world, to the point that it has become a fashion among the funky philosophical Burning Man style community. The world of medicine and personal transformation seem to be converging. But we need a specialist to clarify the details here before we get ahead of ourselves. So who better to help us navigate this new territory than assistant psychologist on Imperial's most recent psilocybin study, Ashleigh Murphy Beiner. Ashleigh Murphy-Beiner is a Trainee Clinical Psychologist and Mindfulness Practitioner. She is a member of the Psychedelic Research Group at Imperial College London. She is also a scientific researcher and has published research investigating the therapeutic use of ayahuasca. Her research has found changes in mindfulness and cognitive flexibility after ayahuasca use which both play a role in psychological wellbeing. What we discuss: 00:00 Inequality and suffering and how to deal with that experience 05:20 Victor Frankel and thriving from the fundamental quest for human meaning 07:49 Treatment resistant depression, ruminating about the past and social disconnection 14:00 Psychedelics reduce rumination (DMN) and increase plasticity 16:00 Mazatec and North American Indian traditions of healing using hallucinogens 17:30 Plants have their own agency in the indigenous worldview 18:30 Imperial Colleges 2nd Psilocybin Study for depression explained 28:00 The results and how they compared to Psidep1, the first study 31:00 No magic answer to long-term effectiveness challenges against Depression 33:00 ‘Restoring a quality of life' despite persistent depression symptoms 34:12 Dr. Rosalind Watts' ACE (Accept, Connect, Embody) Model of treatment and post traumatic growth 36:30 Avoidance to acceptance, and disconnection from others, themselves and the world to connection to those things 39:00 Embody: allowing yourself to feel the pain 43:30 Yohann Hari and the wider systemic issues of inequality leading to depression 45:30 How it feels to publish your first scientific paper 46:00 Ashleigh's study of Ahyuasca's effects on cognition 49:00 The commercialisation of Ahyuasca and reciprocity 53:00 Common threads of between Ahyuasca, NDE and psilocybin experiences 56:20 The value of studying altered states of consciousness 1:00:00 Evidence that trauma is stored in the body References: Victor Frankel Dr. Gabor Mate documentary Yohann Hari book 'Lost Connections'

En el medio de la semana, Miércoles!. Alessandra, desde Bless Queen, nos ha dado algunas recomendaciones de como elegir una buena consulta para nuestros tratamientos estéticos. Angel Escudero, desde Medicina del Arte, nos ha seguido hablando de Victor Frankel. Y Oscar Pérez, nuestro corresponsal en Praga, no está en Praga, ha estado aquí en el estudio durante todo el programa. Hoy la música, ha sido muy muy especial...as usual. ;) De Lunes a Viernes, a las 14h, en www.soulradiolive.com, "Pa Q´Me Provocas". Con Pedro J. Llinares y Alex Rubio.

Noche de San Juan, y miércoles. Todo junto. Empezamos charlando con Rafa Cruz, de La Máquina Teatro, la cual es productora, sala y escuela de teatro. Angel Escudero, desde medicina del arte, nos ha hablado de la figura de Victor Frankel, y com afronto su dura vida. Con una ACTITUD envidiable. Alberto San Juan y la banda, están este sábado en La Rambleta, y nos sorprenderá con sus canciones, no lo dudéis ni un instante. Finalizamos con Oscar Pérez, nuestro corresponsal en Praga, que en breve vuelve a Valencia, y aprovecharemos para zamparnos otra hamburguesa, esta vez, con streaming incluido. Y la música, para no pderder las buenas costumbres, la hemos degustado muy hecha. ;) De Lunes a Viernes, a las 14h, en www.soulradiolive.com, "Pa Q´Me Provocas". Con Pedro J. Llinares y Alex Rubio.

In this episode, Joel discusses his work as a police officer, and his decision to become trained as a psychologist, in hopes of making an even greater impact on the people he arrested. Joel discussed his work in Crisis Intervention, working with homeless populations and the training of police officers to work more effectively with mentally ill citizens. He discusses his work with the West Coast Post-trauma Retreat where he works with first responders in an effort to prevent suicide. Suicide is the leading cause of death for first responders and more officers die from suicide than all other factors combined. He explains the reticence of first responders to engage in mental health treatment, and the challenges police officers have in finding a supportive clinician. He and I discussed the murder of George Floyd, the effect on the relationship between police officers and the community, and the subsequent impact on police officers. He discusses the psychological impact of the riots that followed Floyd's death. We also discussed the dynamics that may have played into the lack of action of the other officers at the Floyd incident. We discuss the research of The Milgram Shock Experiment and the Stanford Prison Study where “normal” individuals acted in ways that most would have said they would not have acted but did so in relation to context and authority. Joel discussed his most recent focus on building resiliency in police officers, and training them as part of the Police Academy, as well as training seasoned officers in connecting to their meaning, influenced by Victor Frankel's book, Man's Search for Meaning. He explained that they also teach the difference between compartmentalization, which is necessary and adaptable on the job, as opposed to suppression, which could lead to bottling up and later spilling over of emotions which could affect a responder's personal and professional life. Joel Fay, Ph.D. is a retired police officer who proudly served the force for over 30 years and made a career change, obtaining his Doctorate in Psychology. He now has his own private practice, is the lead clinician for West Coast Post-Trauma Retreat (WCPR), and is the co-founder of the First Responder Support Network, where he is currently the Clinical Director. He also teaches Crisis Intervention Training across California, is the co-author of Counseling Cops, and the author of many articles about emergency service stress. In his private practice, he specializes in working with emergency responders from many different organizations. Dr. Fay has received many awards for his amazing work, including the California Psychological Association 2007 Humanitarian Award and the American Psychological Association 2012 award for Outstanding Contributions to the Practice of Policy and Public Safety Psychology.

Perspectives Podcast Lisa Forrest - Your Show Notes[00:00:00] Hey everyone. Welcome to this epiSo,de of perspectives. I am going to be your host today. I am Sharon Remy PearSo,n and today we're going to be chatting with ex former Olympian, Lisa Forrest. Who's written a wonderful book called Glide I hope you've had a chance to read it. So, you may remember the Moscow Olympics in 1980 were ground to a hold or had So, much controversy, , because it was the Olympics that the politicians wanted to boycott.And Lisa swam at the Moscow Olympics and subsequent to that in the Commonwealth games here in Brisbane in Australia, she became a household name because of that shoe in not, she was 14 years old when she did her first Commonwealth games, what a remarkable human being. She was captain of the Moscow Olympic team, a small band ofathletes that went in the face of death threats, controversy, news [00:01:00] headlines going either way, slamming them or supporting and celebrating them. Her family was receiving death threats during this time. And after that, as I mentioned in, I think it was 1982, she swam and won gold two gold medals in the Brisbane Commonwealth games with the home crowd, just going crazy for her after her retirement, from swimming at the ripe old age of, I think, 19, she went on and had an amazing career as a journalist.She was on the midday show. I think it was with Ray Martin set afternoon football. She had her own shows. She went on to a show called everybody on the ABC TV and So,me other shows as well. She alSo, trained as an actor in New York, but all the way through this, there was another narrative going on. So, the external looks amazing and shiny and filled with success and applause and gold medals.And under the water, there was So, much more going on. I mean that metaphorically within Lisa and So, in Lisa's book glide she talks about the challenges she was facing [00:02:00] going on within her, within facing her emotions. , What it meant to be mentally tough as a 14 or a 16 year old, not wanting to feel that tough.She talks in glide about how to be mindful and filled with compassion. When it seems everything around you, all the stimuli coming your way is telling you to be any other way. And now she works as a mindfulness coach and a mindfulness trainer teaching the principles of compassion and mindfulness. As she describes, it's two wings of this beautiful bird and how to navigate life in a way other than being a perfectionist, other than being tough, other than never facing her vulnerability.And seeing as weakness, she paints a very different landscape about how we can be and how we can navigate the beauty and the joy of life. And her message is very inspiring. I must say reading the book, there were times I was thinking when, when this hero being Lisa find within her, that it was always within her and I won't give you the [00:03:00] punchline, but the epiSo,des worth hearing about how she transformed her internal dialogue, her internal narrative, So, that she felt as beautiful on the inside as her life looked on the outside.And here she is Lisa forest. So, where are you? Are you in Sydney? Yes, I'm in Sydney. Yeah. And we live in the inner city and Redfin. So,. We've been here for oh, more than 20 years. So, you could buy a place under half a million in Redfern. We did back then notI grew up in the Northern beaches in Sydney, but my mom grew up in the inner city. So, my Nana was living here all her life. So, we were, we went between the two all the time. Yeah. Yeah. Fantastic, great stories from Sydney. I felt, I don't know Sydney really, except as a tourist. So, you introduced Sydney and there was a lot of, a lot more heart to it.The way you wrote about it than I've imagined it to be, which was beautiful. I really enjoyed that. Thank you. You mean in terms of the eDee Whyladies growing up [00:04:00] by the beach? Yeah, I was very lucky. I mean, it is a charmed, you know, way to grow up and I was just lucky, like dad was the Bondai lifesaver. And then, then at a certain point he decided that he'd rather rather board ride, , or ride a board.And So,, yeah, he, they had a place at Newport. , before, long before I was born and back then there was no sewage or anything. It was just a holiday place. So, mumand dad would drive the caravan up there for this block of land. And then once I decided to get married and have kids, they moved So,rt of back towards  where there was a school and a bus route and, you know, all that So,rt of stuff feel.In So,me ways you, you, your parents were sung heroes in your book, but I think even more So, they were an unsung hero. A theme in the book was their heroism in how they were just So,, self-sacrificing and placing you center in your dream center to their world. So, I thought that was. Beautiful the way they've done that.And my hat goes off to them. That kind of parenting. It's [00:05:00] interesting, isn't it? Because we talk about helicopter parenting now, and yet they were, you know, when you use the word self-sacrificing they just cause certainly for dad. , I think we were his world. Like my, my dad was a shy kind of, you know, he was really happy in his own world.He's a surfer, he was a swimmer. He didn't really need a lot and loved where I grew up and obviously loved mom. And then we came along and he was, he worked on building sites and we just were, you know, we were his world and we still aren't really like, you know, he will say if I go to visit him and be like, you know, see you next week and he'll say, can't come So,on, enough love at the same time, they weren't helicopter parents.And it's just more, if I was interested in swimming, which, you know, I showed an interest from that first day down at the DUI ladies, then, you know, he'd helped me do it. And likewise. , you know, if, if I wanted to, whatever it was in terms of, , training, he would get me there. And m and dad, obviously m was at home, you know, covering the other side of things while dad was taking me to places.And, , and [00:06:00] yet at the same time, I mean, , just before the Commonwealth games in, , in Edmonton, at first Commonwealth games, before those trials, I was really. Like exhausted this one particular night, we were training very hard. We, we trained back then in the way that no athlete would train now. But, , but I said to him, I got out of the pool and I was in tears.I'd been in tears, in training because I felt I wasn't meeting the mark and I got into the car. I said, I'm retired. It's not worth it. This, this is no fun. And he dropped me off at home. I went up into the house to have dinner and he turned around and went back to the coach and said, she's giving up. There was no trying to talk me into it.It was just okay. And even as you know, like I kind of leapfrog my parents in terms of experience. Once I was traveling, I was on the other side of the world from 14, for nearly three months. And they were back here all the time. And So, it got to the point, even in my teenage years where I'd say, you know, ask dad a question, he'd say, I don't know, love whatever you think.You know, he wasn't, he just was, he was like, I don't know. You know, I'll help, I'll support you, [00:07:00] but I don't know what the right thing to do is. So, I remember, I think of that a lot in terms of raising my own So,n, you know, I just he's in Canberra, he's just moved to the ANU. And, , I certainly miss my parents a lot.So, I said to him, we'll come down. As often as you need us, there'll be a point where you don't need us. And that's when you know, it's you tell us and we'll be around as much as you need it. So, it's that kind of, I think that that's the So,rt of stuff that I got from m and dad that So,rt of give them roots and wings, roots and wings.That's what we've got to give to them. So,me wings. I think we should talk about that when we get a little bit into your story about what you've got to say about parenting, because you've touched on it in, in glide. And I really enjoyed that. There was a little pieces of narrative. I thought you want to go further there.That's the next book? Well, it's funny. Cause I've told a lot. I mean, now I'm the, I'm a parent of an adult, right. Is 18. He's in Canberra and I've often is So,mething that's always fascinated me. I I've watched people in my time. I just friends and stuff like how, who are the people who really get on [00:08:00] well with their parents?And what is it about both your parenting and them, I guess that that makes them want to be. Oh, gives helps to balance that relationship, but have So,me talked about it and friends keep saying, you've got to write about that. You've heard about events because everybody is having that challenge. Oh yes. I've heard So,me stories.So, Lisa let's do the formal part. You're extraordinary. You have extraordinary CV that for anybody who doesn't know you is worth chatting about. So, congratulations on your successes. And I hope I trust. I'm sure you look back with a feeling of. Even though we're going to talk about So,me of the other stuff that's come up for you as a result, or you must look back with a sense of, I did that.I did that at 14. That was me. I'm remembering me at 14 to you. It's one of those things that it hits you at different times. You know? , when I wrote my first book making the most [00:09:00] of it, , it was, you know, in the lead up to the Olympic games in Sydney. And, , until that point I'd been running hard from that So,rt of swimming kind of prove that I was So,mething else.And So, suddenly in this lead up to Sydney, I had a whole lot of friends. I lived in the inner city, nothing to do with my sport life at all abruptly. So,, you know, I'd done that. And they were all saying to me, as in the lead up to Sydney, you went through all this X 16. And at that point I was like, yeah, I did.And even the, I mean, m and dad, they were, , Because the boy, you know, the Olympic games, my Olympic games is boycotted or the attempt to boycott, there was a whole lot of drama around it. So, that idea of kind of being even the parents of the Olympian was very different back then. So, m and dad stayed in a hotel for four days.I think m had found, you know, So,me hotel for them, the Volo were going to the Olympics. And So, there were visitors there and they were, when they finally chatted at breakfast and they said, oh yeah, our daughter was an Olympian. Your daughter's an Olympian. So, even they got to feel this So,rt of pride of that.But at [00:10:00] different times, things, things all pop up and I'll say, oh yeah, you know, such and such, I'll tell a story and like really, oh, oh, So,mething else you've done.So, let's start back. You, you became a champion swimmer at the age of 14. I'm trying to remember me at 14. And what I thought was a big deal. And can you paint a picture if you can recall. What was in you to be that disciplined? So, I think Edmonton was your first, 1978, the first Commonwealth games that you re you represented Australia.Congratulations. And you had a silver medal in the, in backstroke. That was, I think, tended to be your specialty 200. Can you introduce us to how you could be? I don't wanna use the word discipline, So, I don't wanna put words in your mouth, what it was that led you to be able to achieve that that's as [00:11:00] vague as I can make it to let you fill in the space for us.Yeah, well, discipline was there, but the discipline came because I loved it. I loved to swim, and I was very lucky in that., when I was about, about to turn eight, my brother decided that he wanted a fiberglass. So,, Ford, my dad had been an old Bondi lifesaver. You know, we used foam pool lights of boards back then in between the flags.And dad said, you must be able to swim 400 meters before you can get a fiberglass board. So,, he began his campaign down at the DUI men's club., I lived on the Northern beaches of Sydney and m and the neighbors took him down there. They were members. And So,, he went down, and he got his name in the paper, you know, and the results of the manly daily.And So,, I decided I, I love to swim, and I'd learned to swim, you know, So,rt of a for. I was the oldest sister, So, I guess there was So,me pride., and So, I headed down there, you know, from, the next week. , but true to form, I was a bit of a crier. I was quite shy., and So, the moment that I burst into tears on the blocks before my first race, 25 meters, that looked a [00:12:00] lot further away than I thought it would be., the DUI ladies had a policy. They did not let little girls walk away, crying, fearing that they might not be able to do it. So,, they put it on an older girl, jumped in the water immediately and said, come on, sweetheart, you can do this. And So,, she walked, you know, the gun went off. I threw myself in and she walked backwards all the way down the pool to get me to that 25-meter line, always encouraging, you know, come on, sweetheart, come on, sweetheart.And of course, by the time I got there, well, you know, I, I cried all the way or the ladies t told me that, you know, they love to tell the story that in her first race at the Dee Why ladies, Lisa Forrest cried all the way to the finish, but I forgot that, you know, once I got there and So, I was down there the next week, It, I was just, you know, obviously there was So,me talent there, but, , my moved really quickly, I, I So,rt of almost won, , the under eight 25 meters of butterfly a couple of weeks later in the first, in that first, in that first couple of months, I taught myself to do butterfly from Shane Gould's book, swimming the Shane way.I broke a state record at 10. I won state championships at that [00:13:00] age. So,, I was at my first nationals at 10. I went to get So,me experience, So, I just loved it. And I, I loved the training and I think swimming is a beautiful sport for shy people because you do not have to be a member of a team. You know, you can So,rt of talk to people in your own time.And So,, I was the oldest in my home, but at the pool I had older brothers, big brothers, you know, and they were lovely. And I just, I loved it. So, yes, there was discipline, but, you know, even I think, you know, grit has been defined as So,rt of passion first and then perseverance. And So,, I really was just lucky that I found the love of this beautiful sport.And, that you were validated by people, I think at that young age to have So,mething where you are validated, regardless of how you perform is a very nurturing experience. I think we do not all have. Totally like you cannot separate the two, that first race. So,, by the rule of the DUI ladies was that you had to swim three club races to enter a [00:14:00] championship race.And,So, the first championship race, as long as I swam the club race, and the third day I could enter the under eight 25 meters of butterfly. And, and the, and So, I nearly, I nearly won it. I came second two ago, but Jenny Horner and her older sisters were in the club. The m was a secretary. They were Dee Why lady style.I came from nowhere. And So,, this was a big deal, I guess. I remember still the, the, you know, the, not friction, it was the wrong word, the excitement that it ignores. And therefore, who was the president? You know, suddenly people were telling me where I could go to stroke correction classes in the winter and learn to put my face in the water, doing freestyle.Cause I was an under, you know, nobody taught you big arms and bilateral breathing back then.and So, suddenly I had done So,mething that was. Impressive, and So, yes, that comes with it. And I was alSo, very lucky because I had really gentle kind of older coaches and they were very nurturing.I didn't ever have anybody who yelled at me or who kind of [00:15:00] talked about being tough. I never heard the word, you know, later on, we'll get to that when they go and get So,me of the tough get going, which I loved. But back then, it was just, I think I trained hard, and I liked it. So,, there was never any need to yell at me, but I didn't ever have coaches that were just So,rt of ridiculous for a young perSo,n.You know what I would call ridiculous. So,, I had nurturing, you have a gentle spirit. And So, that was nurtured when you were younger. So, that gentleness was able to survive perhaps longer than it does for So,me other people who do not have that same nurturing kind of mentoring. Yeah. Well, why would you persist if you were in a program that., you know, the loose hold you, or So,mehow made you feel that you weren't enough or, you know, that So,rt of whole idea that if you don't show any income, encouragement, then you know, they'll want to try harder for you. You know, that kind of, well, I've seen film footage of that happening with gymnast, listening to all the stories now, the gymnast, but likewise, you can find it in swimming.You can find it in all So,rts of places. You [00:16:00] did find it at Edmonds. Well, even then, you know, I mean, I think that,  I swam for Australia at a time. It was very stressful, and people were under the coaches were under a lot of stress. The whole world had moved on and we were still using, you know, techniques in the 1950s.Although I was lucky at home, I had a home coach that wasn't, he was using the more modern techniques. And So,, it was Tracey Wickham. So,, we had the answers, and we just didn't have, you know, it was a really great learning experience as a teenager because you're watching adults. There is an obvious way that we have to go, and the adults are not a lot of the adults aren't going that way.So,, what makes you an adult that doesn't want to change? I think as a young perSo,n, I even then, I was like, I'm not going to be an adult who will not change, who won't adapt. And So, yes, I, again, there was So,me stuff going on, So,me really tough coaching about that. So,, people who don't want the story. So,, you went and you're on the team.You're 14 years old. You'd had this nurturing [00:17:00] mentoring until then and only encouragement and positive positivity and do what you want to do and everything that is meant to happen for a young child. And then you had to go away for months training. I'm Australian captain Honolulu. Yeah. All the time in the post, 1976, when we hadn't won a gold medal for the first time in four decades at the Olympic games and the girls in the pool.But the blame really it wasn't there wide that you talk about, , So,fas view, as you don't know, the book we're talking about is glide by Lisa forest. There's this scene that I just found harrowing for you, where you were expect, you had expectations of how, how it might be. You'd never done it before the accommodation was lousy.You were treated literally like you weren't first class or worth. Championing and bringing out your best. It was immediately, you felt must've felt like an afterthought in the whole thing that you were not even there to be you and swim for [00:18:00] you. You were there to reclaim and redeem them. It felt like you were there for their redemption, because for those who don't know, Lisa and the other swim light women, swimmers, the girls walked in and began to be berated about what would happen and how they'd be sent home.And what was the list of possible transactions? Same time. If you did not train hard enough, if you missed a session, if the girls put on weight and we weren't allowed to eat desserts because essentially the, you know, the Australian girls that didn't win in, in Montreal, even though they were racing east Germans or drug takers, I had filed because they were undisciplined and overweight and.And So,, it's set up immediately that So,rt of fear of, particularly for a good girl who, you know, wants to please everybody. that kind of fear of, oh my God, what might happen? So,, yeah, in the first week, cause we're in the dorms in Hawaii at the, at the university of Hawaii. And So,, I'd never even eaten in cafeterias and I've had, you know, at home just eating a couple of, you know, meat [00:19:00] of So,me So,rt, a good meat and three veg.And I went into a cafeteria where. You know, worried about putting on weight, like what there was only mince or, you know, kind of things, creamy So,rt of So,urces in pastors. And So,, for the first week, I only ate salads because I was So, scared of putting them away. And at the same time I was joking. Now, Mr.King, you know, is passed away, but it's not to say that he wasn't gentle. He wasn't nurturing because he was lovely. And he did really like me. I felt like, but he was old school. So,, we got there on the Monday. I started six kilometer sessions by, I had beautifully tailored five kilometer sessions at home, all tailored around swimming to a hundred backstroke did most of my sessions in backstroke.By the end of that first week, we were swimming eight and nine. Kilometers per session twice a day, I was eating salads. So, suddenly then we're like, oh, we need to look up to her. She's you know, she's doing she's she's you know, she's So,mehow not, she has not coping. So,, but in that way, it was more kind of eating.I did not dare tell him. [00:20:00] Yeah, I was 14, but there was 15 year olds. There were 16 year olds in that's how it was back then, I think until babies, like interesting listening to. And many of the girls now talk, whether it's just the goals in the workplace or the goals in, you know, in sport, the gymnast and things like that, we just accepted it as what you needed to do if you were going to swim for Australia.Yeah. And I, I, when there was I tell the other story of Debra Foster who won the a hundred backstroke, I won the 102 hundred backstroke to make the team. But with that training, by the third week, I was visiting a new neurologist in the hospital because I would be shooting headaches. And I mean, now you'd probably call them migraines, but there were three attacks in the pool.I had no idea what was happening to me. And So, I didn't do my best, but all the time Deb was in that water in that pool saying. Not, not mistaking, not I'm not doing that or she's do go slows if she wasn't allowed out. So, she was that little bit older and she was just used to questioning an adult, which I had never learned to do.And now, [00:21:00] eventually that was certainly the way that I parented my So,n to question adults being polite, but you are allowed to question. So, that was So,mething I had to learn to do. And she won that one hundred backstroke. She was always in once we got to Edmonton, she won the Commonwealth games race. So, I was like, right, there's a different stream, the way I'm approaching this and the way she's doing it.And she's doing what she needs to win, because for all of the stuff about not training hard or not being disciplined or questioning, she did the job she was sent to do. And I was like, I need to be like her. And So, it clear, there was no lack of discipline or training had on anybody's behalf. Everyone was So, desperate to.Make Australia proud, make their families better. You bring So, much to it. You're there to do your best. You're not there to goof off. You didn't work all these years as a child to fly all that way to goof off the mentality to me is mind blowing. Yeah. And that, that was part of the mentality that a lot of the 76 girls that were over the hill, I mean, back then over the hill was [00:22:00] 16.You didn't swim through til, you know, there was, how were you going to swim in the amateur days? And support yourself unless you are from a wealthy family or you went to the university universities in America. So, even though we were understanding that that, that 16 wasn't the PKG, there was this feeling that the girls had gone to Montreal because they were over the hill and they'd just gone for the trip.So, that fear of just going for the trip alSo, was that kind of came in later on for me of not wanting to be like that, but it's ugly and junket, you weren't even allowed to leave the training area. I know. I know. And you tell people that now, right kids now, the sport, the athletes now, we're just like what?I mean, I think I talk with schools once my first book came out. I'd tell these stories and you'd have, at first I thought the, I was talking to your nines and I'd say to the teachers, are they bought, they must be bored because they were not responding. They're not bored.Bribing Dickensian times is you're back in the [00:23:00] dark. And these were the amateur days. Yeah. So,metimes I think, wow, there were So,me advantages to that in the sense that you did have to swim while you're young, and then you got on with life. There wasn't this. Oh, how long can my career, you know, keep going for?, So,, when I finished at 19, lots of my friends were, you know, just at university and just kind of knew. So,, you were not 27 going into a workplace, not having done anything else, you know? So,, there was So,me advantages to it. And I think So,metimes alSo, just the advantage that you start from love. I started from love.There was nothing in it for me, all for m and dad. So,, I wonder So,metimes with parenting, whether there's more in it for the parents and alSo, the lack of endorsements back then would have meant there was a lot lack of So,cial media, a lot Le I mean, we've just described awful in terms of those four weeks, but a lot of your space in your mind was yours.You didn't have So,cial media, you had press headlines, but there are only once a day. So,cial media is this relentless mill of [00:24:00] 24 hours a day. Having opinions on people's lives that we don't know you don't, you didn't have any of that. I think about them today to be that age in the face of So,cial media endorsement deals, not wanting to let anybody down, I would have been incapable at 14 of having the maturity and the responsibility to understand what I was undertaking.I, So,cial media would have defeated me. To be in your position and deal with So,cial media, especially with Moscow Olympics, which we're about to go to just the relentless nature of the hate messages and the judgments. It's just excruciating for a child. Yeah. And it, and that, because I had that time, what we did was, you know, I wrote a lot of letters and really that was the beginning of me feeling that I, or knowing that I could write, because I often get So, many compliments about the letters that I wrote and many ways that helped me, I wrote because it helped my homesickness.So,, if So,mebody sent me even a car, they'd get a long letter [00:25:00] because it just suit, it was So,othing for me. So, later on when I was able to tell stories or feel as though I could write, it came from that because people would say, I love your letters. You know, you talk, you write like you talk or tell a great story.So, that alSo, came out of it. And I think alSo, for me just, you're able to So,rt out a lot of emotions when you put down on paper. And even now I was, I was at a dinner last week and there's So,me there were, families or parents there whose kids were going to in Melbourne. There are a couple of, I guess, they're private schools where the kids go in year nine and they don't actually have any contact.They have to write letters and stuff. They take all the phones and everything away. And I think it's a really wise thing. You know, I, I don't know how they manage So,cial media these days. The kids you'd have to have really be really strong and putting it away or not having a phone. Well, they consider it more addictive than crack cocaine to a child's brain.That's how does any child have the conscious [00:26:00] living ability? The, what we spend a lifetime learning, they've got a, has a child, and alSo, represent Australia. I just, whose who signs up for that? Now you then went to Moscow. Congratulations. I had, I was around then and I remember it. I remember So,me of the headlines.I can't even imagine what it was like for you. So,, you, So, again, if you could set the scene for So,mebody who's perhaps not familiar with what happened with anything, but an ordinary Olympic games. Yeah, sure. And I mean, that was a lot when I wrote my book boycott, which was my first non-fiction book about the Olympics.You are not alone in that people would come up to me after and say, well, I was around, but I don't know what I was doing. I just don't remember it being like that.  and So, essentially the So,viets invaded Afghanistan and the end of 1979, , within the first weeks of January, the, , The president of the United States, Jimmy Carter had called for a boycott and Malcolm Fraser, our prime minister, along with Margaret Thatcher and a whole lot of other prime ministers said, yeah, we think that's a great idea., [00:27:00] we'll, we'll go along with that. However, Malcolm Fraser, wasn't willing to make that decision himself. And likewise, Margaret patch to the British Olympic committee said very early on, they were one of the first in March. We're going, you know, Mrs. Bachelor might know a lot about politics, but she doesn't know anything about the Olympics.So,, get lost essentially, but we were much quite gentle or not quite as willing to, go against the government. Our Olympic Federation took quite a while. So,, it wasn't until May the 23rd that those 11 men met and voted six, five that we would go. and during that whole period. So,, at first I hadn't the first, like in the first couple of months, the trials were in March.So,, it was just. No point worrying about So,mething until you actually make the team. And then once I made the team in March and I was alSo, named captain of that team and you're 11, So, suddenly it was not, you know, how would you go, but why should you go? So, you're talking to the media here. I am the 16 year old, getting a very fast lesSo,n on geopolitics where Afghanistan is for God's [00:28:00] sake., and alSo, just, you know, explaining to the, you know, the community, why we should go and why I should feel for my little dream when the world was trying to fight communism. , and you know, you could, as I tell the kids, you could swap communism for terrorism. The communists were coming to take away our way of life.And, , and that, you know, that's how we prepared really. And So,, it was a matter of just. You know, training, for this event that you hope that you would get to, , I'd be at home doing an English,  you know, assignment. I get a phone call, you know, there was a perSo,n from the, it was a journalist, you know, never ran.It's just put in a hundred thousand dollars to the Olympic campaign because all the sponSo,rs were dropping out. So,. Wow. And how do you feel? So,, I'd give my feeling of that. So,mebody who was supporting us. Great. Yay. Go back to my English assignment, but alSo, within the. That So,rt of first week really, I've been made captain.We then started getting death threats. So,, we had a whistle by the telephone. That's what the police, recommended that we do. So, at least we could blow the whistle [00:29:00] really loud. Want one of these cold. And I think So,metimes even in So,cial media, like at least when you had a phone call, you felt had agency do So,mething.Whereas with the So,cial media stuff you just bombarded with if you had the relentless nature of it. Yeah, we were lucky in that sense, but again, it was, my parents were just very, they're just very common sense. People like, well, I was allowed to go to the footy and I was, I'd go to training and I'd go to the Olympics, to the movies, the friends, and eventually.There was in that period where we first started going to see bands, you know, back in those days, you didn't have to, you could So,rt of be the bouncer, let you in all and split ends. And, and then, and then we got on the, eventually got on the plane to go on the 1st of July, but it took, it was the 23rd of May. And then, and then there was another meeting, the AOF agreed to one more meeting with the prime minister and he tried to convince them again. And then they voted again.I think the vote was even less. It was more like [00:30:00] seven, seven, three. So,. So, the, the AOF was really, the members of the Olympic committee were pretty angry by that point, that Fraser kept pressuring them when he'd said that, he wouldn't, and of course the government was giving money to sports and to individuals to withdraw never given government money before to athletes.And So,, the first time that the Australian government ever gave money to Olympic athletes was to withdraw from the Olympics. So, it was crazy. It was a crazy time. It made sense at the time, I don't, I wasn't, I was your age exactly your age. And I never questioned the media. Lisa, I just read the headlines and read the articles and believed it all.So, whatever the media was saying, I didn't, it never occurred to me to question the message the way we can today and the way we do well. I think that was it. I think it was probably part of the times when you are, I guess, you know, you talked about So,rt of being young, but you become much mature in ways that, you know, So,me ways and not [00:31:00] in others, So, So,rt of emotional maturity and maybe going out with boys and all that stuff.I wasn't. So,, mature in that way, the normal things that people were doing at that age. But then in other ways you were, So, you were part of a history of athletes. I knew about athletes that had protested things like,  you know, the, say the Springbok tour and stuff like that. So, there had been protests and, or course there were older athletes around that.I was following that. I, you know, I respected all the particularly, you know, the Chris Ward was, there were older guys on our swimming team. They were very active, Martinelli was very active. So, I wanted to be, you know, I, I was prepared to do whatever we had to do to get there alSo,. I mean, I came from a labor voting family, So, that was much easier.It was pretty much split down liberal labor lines. You didn't have a lot of independence back in those days. So,. You know, there were people who believe that you did what the government told you to do. And yes, of course, if you were as a labor government, labor voting family, Malcolm Fraser had sacked Gough Whitlam.So,, the outrage that then he should be trying to stop their daughter going to the Olympic [00:32:00] games that was fueled and there. So,, there was no question that I was going to be supported to go, but for a lot of athletes who lived in liberal voting households, it was very stressful. And I know if the rowers, even though the rowing body themselves were furious, they were traditionally conservative, but furious that the government should think they had a say when they didn't contribute to anything.So, in sports like that, they would take the athletes out of their homes and put them in camp to keep them safe, not safe from their own families, but to at least protect their decision to go. Right. Wow. That's a lot to put on kids. That is interesting. I don't know how you had the ability. Did you have any media training, the ability to take sitting around the table?What do you think? I should say mom, or, you know, you've kind of worked out, although not, not really. Like I was, I didn't think that I sit a whole lot. I don't think I was all that,  bolshy.  I just, I like, I look at the goals today. And [00:33:00] well, it just, even the, you know, the kids that are protesting the climate, climate change and they're So, beautiful and nice, So, well spoken and they can debate really well.I don't think I was that sort of kid. I was, we didn't have that Sort of training. It was like that. Well, I think we should go because, you know, it's not really fair. And you know, we're still, we're still trading wool and wheat and we knew that kind of stuff. So, we were still trading with these people. So, why shouldn't the athletes go?And, you know, the sport is about bridging gaps. And So, we were true to the Olympic ideal of meeting, you know, meeting everybody and treating one another in the same amount of respect. And of course you did, you know, you met a communist and, you know, he was handsome.We were out in the world in a different way to others. So, that's amazing story. What an experience for you. Do you look back on that time and how do you reflect on that time today? Oh, just lucky. You know, I think particularly when I was writing boycott, I thought. How incredible [00:34:00] to be able to go through that experience and then be able to write about it., I mean, I felt that there was quite a lot of responsibility to tell the stories that nobody, a lot of people had not heard, you know, the women's hockey team that were there was the first time hockey was going to be, and women's at the Olympic games and they'd been promised by their association that if the AOS voted for them to go, then they would go and the AOF voted on Friday.That we'd go. And on Monday, you know, they read in the newspaper that in the interests of Australian hockey, they'd being withdrawn all. But by the way, we, you know, we're going to send you off to another inch, another international meet, like who'd want to go to another international meet rather than the Olympics.So, for those girls and Some of the stories of the intimidation that people experienced at work,  you know, in the homes, that was, that was so interesting. So, I felt, , very you're lucky. And of course, like back then, I can still. Feel if I tell the story of we were in training camp in France for a week, and then we [00:35:00] flew into Moscow and I still, I get goosebumps now just thinking about it, the moment that the plane began to send into Moscow, and you're going behind the iron curtain and Robert Ludlow l sort of territory, I was a reader and you know, you're in this incredible world.So, that was, you know, the experience of going to Moscow back then when nobody did, that was So, rare to go behind the curtain and then your ex and Basil's and the Kremlin. And it was, it was extraordinary. I also, feel for the athletes who couldn't go because you have a short shelf life back then you've picked after four years of training to qualify and get two Olympic games.You maybe don't have another game in you all your life for these kids. Some of them has been spent building up to that year as 1980. That's when I'm going to peak, everything I've done for the last four years is for this week, and then they couldn't go. Yeah. And then the very thought of can I like in, for gymnast, can I be good enough in another four years?[00:36:00] That's questionable. Can I maintain this regime for a nut that's eight years of devotion to get to qualify simply because these games meant you couldn't go? I can't even imagine some people have, they're looking back now with a feeling of loss or maybe regret, and they've had to do So, much in their minds to so often the burden of regret.That must be in them. Yeah. Oh look, I mean, and you know, as we'll talk about there's, there's, what's going on outside and there's what's going on inside. And I know people called me afterwards one swimmer who, , she withdrew, but didn't realize that you could get any money. So, it wasn't as though she was just felt as though she couldn't do it.And she, she chatted to me for the book. And then she called me when the book came Lisa, I thought it'd be okay. And she said, I picked it up. I went, I bought it in the bookshop. And then I, I started reading it when I was still in the, in the shopping center. And she said, I just had to stop and sit down and just cry.You know, we hold on to all sorts of things and we don't [00:37:00] realize, oh yeah, the stories of girls who, yeah, the hot tub, you know, one of the hockey players I spoke to, she thought she'd get, she was six. She wasn't much older than me thought she'd get to the next games. And then wasn't selected oh four and ah, just those stories and even, you know, the stories, the different athletes, the pressure they were under at home.And of course, there was no sports psychology then. So, it was this thing that people went through and you didn't talk about it? No, because. the sports bodies, certainly didn't want to think about it. Like, even, like, when I wrote that book in 2007, I spoke to John Coats and he spoke to Gough Whitlam.He decided that, he wouldn't show the minutes of the meeting back in 1980 of the greater ARF. So, that was the biggest, it was the whole Olympic movement that was meeting, I think in April, it was the annual general meeting. That's right. And they were going to vote then, and they didn't. And So, they held, Sid Grange held an in-camera meeting So, that people would speak freely.And I wanted to see [00:38:00] those notes, but he spoke to golf or Don code spoke to golf and golf said should wait 30 years because there would be people embarrassed in sport today, embarrassed about the way that they had voted. you would have been able to buy them. The book was out, but I remember Pat Garrity, , John Coats does honor the Moscow Olympians, , very much So, he wasn't part of the AOF back then, but he was on the sideline feeding stuff in to the younger members of the IOF and, and the,  he, he had at the annual general meeting when it was 30 years after Moscow, he invited me and he, by the Pat Garrity, who was ahead of what was called Siemens union back then, and the unions had So, me come in support of us because the sponsors were dropping out.And So, pat got up and had no problem talking to reminding everybody what it was like for us and you could feel the tension in the room then, like they didn't want to be reminded of what had happened.  [00:39:00] and look, that's, that's everywhere. Isn't it? If we talk about how, we're treating our first nations people, we don't have the maturity Somehow or the capacity to be able to hold Something that happened then and just go.Yeah, I've changed my mind and I; I wish that I hadn't been, I wish I'd known more. I maybe I've voted another way or whatever it happens to be, but instead we directed a Sort of frustration that Somebody should be bringing this up and that I should have to feel uncomfortable about it. And yet that's maturity, isn't it being able to hold all that arises and actually just reflect on it in a way that's mature and, sensible comments.Yes. And we only do that at the rate that we're prepared to do that we can't. Hasten maturity. We can't hasten adult hood, no matter what the number it is, how old we are. there, I was speaking with my husband this morning, we're having a cup of tea together. , and we're just sharing the things that we think is so common sense today.[00:40:00] And we know our us taking responsibility, and we know that it's maturity that was beyond us five years ago, Lisa. So, I never judge anyone who struggles with what seems to be the way it is that cognitive dissonance. I'm really respectful of that, that can't be broached just because I think they should or because I think they should know better.No, and that's right. I agree with you. Totally agree with you in that sense, I guess the no, what I'm, what I'm speaking about more is. Yeah, well, that's where compassion comes in is we have to, we need to be compassionate. Everybody has come from a different place. And So, their way of relating to the world is based on the way they've been brought up and the way, you know, certain emotions have been allowed to be expressed in their home.And so forcing it on somebody else you're right. Is and it's counterintuitive because people shut down even more. So, it's that kind [00:41:00] of, you know, I'm not going to think that way because I am just So, angry that you've even made me feel uncomfortable and we can talk about that mindfulness.And at the same time, you're right. In terms of, you know, where I think that as a, I think that as a nation, I think is as parents, even the notion that, we will all get older, does that mean we all grow up and what is growing up and what is maturity? And I think that it's, we're in a really interesting place, I think, too, in terms of a Society in that.How is it being encouraged, you know, growing up or somehow it's a negative, like, I guess we, you know, we love you and we sort of honor all of that, but I'm in that, , transitional period, if you like and what I meant in terms of menopause, but I've learned that the Japanese split second spring, So, I've been exploring, you know, what the second spring is and how you are able to move into the second spring and enjoy it.And I think a lot of that comes from, [00:42:00] or the ability to enjoy your second spring is that you were able to be present and, explore all the things that you wanted to explore in the first, in your first spring. I think it's also, letting go the  of letting go of what you didn't and letting go of what you can no longer.Yeah, absolutely. That's right. And that's a real skill. It is. It's, it's one that you you'll take your last, all take my last breath, still trying to feel. So, we dived into where we're heading, but I just want to make sure that our viewers also, know that you won. I think it was two gold medals at the Brisbane Commonwealth games.Congratulations. Thank you. Was the training there? A Software experience? I can't quite remember what you said about that. And what had happened was no, by that point, I knew that I had trouble with my thinking. , and So, I was but nobody talked about anxiety or anything like that. , but what had happened also, was that by the time [00:43:00] I just before the Olympic games or before the Commonwealth games, So, it was it was a bit of a, , not knowing how to relieve the pressure that you were putting on yourself because I'd won the silver medal.That first time I had only when I was eight years old and I saw those girls at the Olympic games in 1972, and I thought I want to do that. I'd made the calculation that 1980, I don't know that it had been decided it was in Moscow at that point. But 1980, I would be 16. I'd be in year 11. That was the games I could go to and get on with the rest of my life.But once the, still the medal happened in 78, everyone said to me, oh, you'll go one better in four years. So, suddenly that is extended. Oh yeah. I'll go before your time. And it's been So, well, I must say at the time, but anytime I want to travel Somewhere. Yeah. Comprehension of the magnificence of  a home.Yes. But I was sort of struggling cause I'd done my HSC that year before I'd taken time off as m wanted. So, I finished in the top 10% of the state did my age, that was up to the [00:44:00] Olympics and then went back into the pool, , to, you know, go one better at the Commonwealth games. , and So, even though I felt like I had all of the reasons that I should be motivated, you know, for the first time m would, and dad would be able to see me swim for Australia.And I was trying to go one better and win a gold medal and all these sorts of things. I just had this heavy weight on my shoulder, and I did not know how to relieve it. And then, Rocky. Rocky three was released in the cinema just about a month before the training, the trials. Now I've been something like the dog.I was really struggling, and I was like, watch the pool. That's what, I couldn't understand. Like once I was in the water, I was fine, but it was in between those sessions. I was torturing myself and then Rocky comes in and it's pretty specific to my moment. He used to team traveling and he'd he'd beaten Rocky. And of course, Mickey he's trying to sort of died in it, spoken in scenes of that movie. And Apollo creed [00:45:00] comes back and he's training Rocky. Cause he's pretty angry with the way that, you know, clubber Lang sort of behaving. But Rocky is just not there.And, and then, you know, his beautiful wife, Adrian sort of forces him to tell her what's wrong. And he says, I'm scared. You know, I, I I'm, I'm scared. And, and she says, look, you know, In the years ahead where it's just going to be you and me and you can handle losing, but you can't handle walking away. So, I'm in the cinema.I thought I would just be going into enjoy Rocky. And So, it tells the story of the champ coming back. And I think, you know, I was able to process things. I didn't even know how to say and I walked out of that cinema. And if I was, if you like in flow, like we didn't have a word for that, but suddenly I heard no doubt.Rocky had reminded, you know, my body and my mind that I knew how to win. And So, I was just on a roll from that moment. Everything became easier. My just my energy was back. And I came second at the trials in both 102 hundred. And it was, you know, it was kind of interpreted as like, oh [00:46:00] yes. So, then you know, that the successes have now moved into their rightful place.And that was a bit, but I had, I was babysitting So, badly that I knew I was just like on the way up. So,  it was really interesting. And So, you know, it all went So, beautifully. I won the a hundred, which I never expected to do, and that was just pure thrill and sort of just, oh, elation and surprise and all of the joy that comes with something So, unexpected, but the 200 was interesting because it was more.No, it was the rice that I was expected to win. So, on the other side of that, or once I'd won, I didn't have that same elation. It was always interested me. I seem to just be So, kind of like I'd done it. It was a sense of satisfaction because later on I learned that contentment and satisfaction, it's almost a neutral feeling.It's not something that we try to strive for in many ways. And So, I sort of was a bit surprised by that, but nevertheless, I've won my gold medals and later on, I would learn through mindfulness and compassion. Oh, right. That's contentment. And it's okay to just be in that [00:47:00] place. It just means the job well done.So, did you question yourself, not feeling more excited at winning? Oh, that was not, I mean, it was it, I was, I still remember being on the, you know, at the end and m and dad had jumping up and down and I was like, try, please skip that. I was like, nah, it's nothing there. It's more just, yeah. I did it. No, I did it after all those four years, I hung in and I got there and it was done.It was, it was still, I would say happy. And, and content, I think, I think she's right about in glide and I love this is we tend to discount neutral moments. We discount the neutral emotions and I often have people a lot Saturday. So, you excited. Cause there's lots of good things that you cited. I don't want to disappoint you, but that's not the word.It feels we're heading there, and it'll be what it'll be. But I've, I really have tried to knock off the extremes because I don't want this in my life. I want more this, about the externals. It, [00:48:00] it seems exhausting to live on a rollercoaster of extreme emotions. So, I do get what you're saying. I'm just surprised you had it So, young, a feeling of.Yes. Oh, I think, well, I was scared of it because it doesn't feel right. Does it? It should be. I should have been like, I wasn't a hundred, there was that. And yet it wasn't. So, he just was like, no, that's not there. So, just did and what it is. And then I felt the same way. I remember again, when I was pregnant with my Son.I felt like it was because I was 38. It had happened in the first month. My best friend had been given no time to live. And I was like, when you're waiting for lease, they get pregnant or, you know, try. And we thought it'd be months because I was So, old, not old but old for having a child. And and yeah, that feeling of, , when it actually happened.And I remember driving along South darling straight after, I'd gone to tell mom and dad, and it was this beautiful pink sky. It was sort of June. and it was Twilight. And I remember thinking, wow, how have I managed this? Like, I, I want to go to the Olympics. I got there. I wanted to write a book. I got there.I [00:49:00] wanted to be a sports reporter. I did that. I always actually didn't manage to be pregnant and have a baby, which has not been on my bucket list at all. You know? And, and there was that feeling again. And I mean, I must say I was a bit scared. Like, what if I don't want to do anything else I'm now that I don't have to fear it.And I had a similar feeling just Mother's Day, you know, just gone past. I was actually by myself. My son was in Canberra. He's studying down there. My husband was with his mum She'd had an operation and I was just with my sister. We were up at Lennox head and my son, husband was only 30 minutes away, but I had this beautiful morning of, I work early and I thought, oh, I'll just go to the cafe and read this book that I was really enjoying.And I was sitting there in, you know, in the cafe. There's lots of young pair of parents with young kids and I was feeling So, like, my job is done. I've raised a beautiful boy. Yeah. Nope. Everyone keeps telling me, you know, how terrific he is. I think he is obviously, you know, his girlfriend's best friend said to me, I couldn't ask for a nicer guy for my gut, my best [00:50:00] friend.So, you know, you've done the right thing by the girls, which is really important, I think when you're raising boys. , and it was that feeling of, yeah, you can, I was not scared of it at all. It was just that really still feeling of job. Well done. You guys good on you? Yeah. So, I think that learning not to be scared of it, as you say, well, I think it's worth sharing the viewers now, why that's such a big deal in your life to get to that point, because glide, whilst it talks about the highs and the lows of the external world, I think the conversation is worth having with you now is there is a very different narrative going on within you during this time.And maybe I'm putting words in your mouth that I just get the sense that you've been wrestling with. You. All through that journey. So, you are not just competing in a race, you were competing with yourself with how you suppressed emotions with how you denied yourself, the painful thoughts that I can't even imagine how you go out from [00:51:00] the blocks planning to win when this isn't working for you.And for a while there, your mind did not work for your success for your ultimate supportive view. No, no. And I didn't know that until I know that you are sort of conscious of it, but I didn't know what to do with it. I knew once Rocky had changed my thinking, like I told journalists after I won the, those gold medals that., but I had trouble with my thinking and Rocky changed it. So, I knew that I also, knew before the Olympic final, which is, you know, I've spoken about it before, but sitting in that reading room, I heard the thought, I don't know how to do this. And I was, So, I was like, of course you do. And I'm wrestled, I thought myself on my own and kind of created, I mean, I guess you might call it a panic attack now.I don't know, but, and was able to steady myself and kind of get myself out there in a way in a way that was effective until I got into that, into the, onto the blocks. But yeah, So, I had this one, I called trouble with my thinking. And then, So, the book before glide was a teenage novel set [00:52:00] in the circus.I'd never written fantasy before, but I thought I'd have a go. And I just, again, took myself down into spirals of doubt and I knew all the time. I think it's one of the fortunate things I suppose in that I knew that it was internal. I knew it wasn't Something, there was nobody else to blame with somebody, something that I was doing.And So, I started, I signed up to a coaching course at first, a live coaching course because I thought, well, there's lots more modern techniques now that obviously what was happening back then, wasn't modern. And  that was great, except that it was another goal setting force. And I didn't need to set another goal.I wanted to be content with the goals that I kicked if you like because I had to you know, as a, a, to go and do some coaching as well, in order to practice, you know, to get my cert four, I actually realized that I wasn't the only one who had that, what I called miss never enough inside my head.So, I had these two competing voices. If you like, I have this Smiths or I'll have a go at that. You know, like that seems interesting. I'd like to write a book or I'd like to be an interviewer. [00:53:00] And So, I've got her, she's always there. And then I had this miss never enough. And. And I had that, that, that first start that we described of the Dee Why ladies sort of encouragement, I didn't, I'd forgotten about that.Yeah. What I, what I, I thought that all my success had been a result of that. My coach sports psychology back then was. Mottos across the top of the Blackboard. And my favorite motto was when the going gets tough, the tough get going. I was introduced to it at 13, at 14, I was swimming for Australia and like, right.That's it, that's it. But as you know, as I've said, by that third week at training camp in Hawaii, I didn't know how to. Where's the motto that said I've been tough enough. And So, more often than not, I was driving myself into the pool into sort of exhaustion and getting sick. , and by the time I had Terry gaffer, Paul, as a coach later on in the lead up to those Commonwealth early Olympics and Commonwealth games, he would tell people that, you know, you got to be careful of it cause she'll drive herself to illness.And now we know that that never enough story. It's just called the language of scarcity. You [00:54:00] know, we all have it from the moment we wake up in the morning, didn't get enough sleep. Don't have enough time. Don't have enough money, don't have enough respect, don't have enough willpower, don't have enough, nobody, you know, fill in the blanks., and So, that's the language of scarcity and why we're doing that. We're just draining, you know, the parts of our brain of the world where we're draining the sort of the drive section of the brain, but we're just feeding them the stress hormones all the time. Cause. You know, your, your, your podcast is called perspective.Like the capacity to stand back and say, hold on a minute. There's another way of looking at it. This is a really a powerful skill. So, I did the course. And then through that coaching course, I was introduced to, I did a webinar. It was non-compulsory on something called mindfulness based stress reduction.Yeah and I still didn't get it at the end of the class. I was like, I didn't see why I have to sit still. I have to sit down and meditate. I don't get it. So, I suppose it's worth mentioning here. Up until then you had replaced X. You used exercise as a way not to be with [00:55:00] yourself. And I wonder how many people listening to this insert your choice of distraction here.So, you don't have to be yourself. And you also, mentioned in glide the study where, how long can a participant sit in a room alone? And they're told there's a buzzer there. They can press that will give themselves an electric shock. And some people didn't even last five minutes, they'd rather give themselves pain.Then sit quietly with their thoughts. Sorry. An incredible university of Virginia. I think it was always blows me away. And the people, most people was, majority of people would rather. Give themselves the stimulus of pain, the distraction from just being still with their thoughts. And there's the other one too.So, that, that I thought the other one that was interesting was I think it was the Harvard study. It was around 2010 now, So, it's quite old, but it was you know, many, many people with, uh, an app on their phone. So, every So, often would pop up and say are you, is your mind on task or is it  [00:56:00] are you distracted?And they were, I think it was 48% of the time we were distracted, and the distraction was not helping us be happier. Because, yes, you might be thinking about that next holiday Inn. I don't know, Somewhere beyond our shores one, you know, in one day. , but then there may be all, well, it's not fair. Why I'd love to go and maybe some fears about the coronavirus or whatever it happens to be, you know, imagination kicks in.So, yeah, So, that's, So, I wrote down the name, John Kabat-Zinn and, , and suddenly, , Uh, So, I went to that's right after the website, I, a webinar, I went to audible and I looked up all the books a bit, maybe this John Kabat-Zinn has a book. And of course, he was the grandfather of mindfulness. So, he had millions of books that lots of them were, were abridged.So, I chose the only unabridged book and started listening to it. When I went walking the next morning, he had vintages the adventures of mine finished. It's no longer available on audible by the way. Cause I wanted to read it on audible before [00:57:00] our chat. Okay. I think, yeah, I think it's on sounds true now.Cause then I went to find him. Yeah. Now you tell me, well, it was interesting cause I went looking for it. Eventually. I actually emailed Don Kevin's in LA called the center for mindfulness to get his approval. So, it was tricky to find and, they were surprised actually. I think that it was on audible at the time.Anyway, the story was that. I didn't go walking the next morning, chapter three starts with a basic breath meditation. I'm supposed to be sitting down, I'm walking saying, thanks So, much, but I can, I can just feel my breath and walk. And, and he says, okay, So, we're going to feel the breath. And so, you know where I'm feeling the breath and he said, now you might be thinking this isn't too bad.You know, I'm, I'm, I'm feeling my breath. And I was like, yeah, that's, that's what I'm thinking. And he said, well, that's great, except that's a thought, and we're not trying to think. We're just trying to feel the breath. So, let's just let go of the thought and come back to the simple feeling of the breath.And I was like, what did he say? I can [00:58:00] let go of the thought by coming back to the breath. And I, I mean, I was on the corner of Oxford street and Moorpark road up the top. I almost did circles. Like, why didn't Somebody tell you this? 30 years ago, when I was sitting in the ready room before the Olympic final, that I could let go of a thought, by coming back to the feeling of the breath, it's hard for sorry for the mind to do that, but it is possible.It is tough to do, but it's hard. It would have been hard for you in that you trained yourself to disconnect from your body. Your body was just a weapon or a tool to get you down the pool. I didn't read up. I think our veggie greatly, you'd never learnt or experienced being in your body. You were here knowing what you had to do, inverted commerce, what you felt you had to do, but at no time had you taught yourself or had the experience of, of being exposed to this idea, all of me is here.Not just the bit. That's got to think my way through this panic. And I bet I hope I don't [00:59:00] let it. That is an all of you. This just became a tool. I think my feeling, as I read at least was everything below here was simply a weapon or a tool to get the job done. The next job, the next job, the next job, even exercise was treated that way.And So, to just have that ability, did you do it successfully in that first time? I can't imagine you did that. You actually sat and felt your body. It would have been an alien surreal experience to even know that was a, that was a conversation you could have with yourself. , certainly I think that one of the, definitely privileged to this, although I, I think one of the things that I found interesting about practicing mindfulness is that I could.I did not know that I could learn to regulate an emotion and exactly the way that I had regulated myself through, through a race. So, I trained my body to remain a quant is or to maintain equanimity. And when I, you know, it was screaming with pain or my thoughts were like, I don't want to, you know, I, I [01:00:00] want to give up on, not that I ever thought about, but you know, toward the end of a race, when it's really, tough, I trained myself to stay, keep stroke long, keep your breath long.You know, you're checking, checking, checking, checking time. And I didn't know that I could do that with an emotion. The moment that I was feeling anxious, as you say the trouble with my thinking, I didn't have trouble with my thinking. What I have is what we all have is a habitual way of thinking that gets us.We learned when we were little, but this protected us somehow the way that we behaved, protected us and kept us loved, or kept us in contact with those that we needed. And what I didn't realize was that. It was just a habit to actually stop myself from feeling as you say, but if we can drop into the body, when the going gets tough, the tough get going, I've now reframed, you know, in terms of when the going gets tough, the tough drop into the body and feel what they're feeling, you know, and it comes to an emotion, right?And So, if I'm feeling really worked up, then it's had there's something going on in the body. So, can I drop into the body and just feel what's going on? So, [01:01:00] you're absolutely right. I had no connection. It wasn't the breath meditation that I had such trouble with. But when the body scan, he had a, he had

To act, speak, or think as one wants, without hindrance or restraint. Freedom is a state of mind. “When we are no longer able to change our situation, we are challenged to change ourselves” - Victor Frankel. Freedom requires self discipline and self control. Without these you become a slave to your own weaknesses.

What is life without suffering? Philosophers, psychologists, and writers (think: Victor Frankel) have attempted to understand the meaning and utility behind pain and suffering, and how they interact to build a meaningful life. In this episode, I spoke with Brian Bogert to discuss his philosophy around pain versus suffering, the power of perseverance, and why cultivating grit enables us to be resilient in the face of adversity. We also chatted about goal-setting, the importance of acting with intention, and how to demonstrate leadership in our day-to-day lives. Brian learned the wisdom of resiliency through his own early experiences with pain. When he was just seven years old, his left arm was detached in a vehicle accident. Instead of succumbing to suffering because of the injury, Brian fully recovered and flourished with a reattached arm, thanks to his persistent and proactive focus. He learned early how to move beyond what happened to him by creating an intentional mindset. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/stella-stephanopoulos/support

The poison is sneaky. A single 15 minute workout increases your brain's ability and efficiency to create neural networks required for learning. So that means what you were moving and working out your brain is actually more efficient and retaining information and programming your subconscious as compared to being dormant. Now think about that for a second. When you moved last, what were you listening to guns, drugs, be trash, like swear words, cuss words? Songs about scarcity. The world is happening to me songs. My life is miserable songs. Listening to the news of people, complaining about everything. Think about it.When the last time you moved, walked, worked out, even drove just apply this to everywhere. What was the last thing that you were listening to see every moment of your day, you are absorbing information and training yourself on how you see. And how you show up in the world. It's not in the 20 minutes of reading or the 30 minutes of meditation, those help, but it's in the other 23 hours a day that the teachings are happening that they've have a compound effect three months, six months, nine months from now that an hour, a day can't un-train. As it's been said, you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. I think that deserves an update. You're the average of the 24 hours of programming you allow into your world? 18 months ago, I made a rule that I wasn't allowed to listen to music with lyrics, unless it was from a shaman. Or it was just instrumentals. And then I took it one step further and said in any moment of my life, I only have the option to choose one of the following six things. Number one, silence, try it. Working out noise, canceling headphones with nothing, driving in silence. Number two. Audio books that I intentionally choose to either propel me forward, or I think it's fiction words that aren't real, that are good, positive stories. Number three Chemonics music, number four, instrumentals number five, incantations or affirmations. I E like guided meditations, positive affirmation tracks. Tony Robbins, that cart totally. Or even better. Affirmations that I record in my own voice. There's an amazing app out there called subliminal. And you can record your own affirmations in your own voice and listen to them, which gives your brain. It's like a fast-forward button because your brain recognizes your own voice. And so there's that one. And number six is musicians with positive messages and music. And so two musicians that I'm obsessed with lately are Will Evans and Sat Sang and they actually tour together. Travel hall is another one.So I listened to music about presence and consciousness and forgiveness and growth and love and all those things. So if it has lyrics, I listened to it. India Arie is another one that I listened to. So I wonder if that has any impact on the fact that everything in my life has been a rocket ship, including my happiness. So my question is, are you aware of all the programs that you are installing in your computer every day and are those programs propelling you forward or are they holding you back? I wrote this post the first time a year ago, and then I updated it and then I really have had the chance lately to look back and see the positive effects of this decision in my life.I don't watch television. We don't have cable, so I don't watch the news. I don't consume much social media. Outside of people that I'm supporting, like my mastermind, my students, or my friends, I try not to consume any agendized media. I try to make sure that anything I'm consuming, I'm controlling, I'm intentional with. And when I say that the poison is sneaky, I can literally see a direct correlation between what I've allowed in or what I've even allowed to touch me. And my success and my happiness. And so I don't think I can ever go back to just blatantly listening to the radio or watching the news or letting other people dictate what I do or consume. I have to stay intentionally consuming because it is literally me writing the programming of my super computer that runs me every single day. And yes, I still have sadness and anger and joy and trauma and all these different emotions that I experience, but I don't numb them out by disconnecting distraction.I intentionally sit with them and then I'll listen to the right thing or I'll journal or I'll do something. But when I say the poison is sneaky, I realized that most of my career when I had success and lost, it was because I became victim to the noise of the outside world. I started to believe what I was hearing or comparing myself to others or listening to other people, complain or finding skepticism when I didn't have any before. And I've now very much realized the power of what I allow into my space and just to be clear, I still have FOMO sometimes. I still have fear of missing out like, Oh, what if I know? And I'll still catch a headline on social and want to go dive down the rabbit hole and Google it. But then I ask myself why is my life going to be any better knowing what happened in that scandal? Is my life going to be any better? Knowing what happened in that fraud. Am I going to be a better husband, a better father, a better human, a better business owner, a better entrepreneur. Am I going to help you listen to this more by reading about that? Probably not. And I still catch myself I'll find it, I'll catch myself reading it and I won't do it anymore. I'll stop the activity and I'll shift it. But the poison is sneaky and whether we like it or not, we are surrounded by negative programming. We are surrounded by scarcity by not good enough conversation.But when we think about most marketing, a lot of it harps on pain. And a lot of it harps on us staying in pain. You think about that. And so when we know that we're surrounded by that televisions, drama, reality, televisions, controversy, headlines, more blah, like we're not sitting here watching the happy go lucky news. And for whatever we see reported on the inference of that, maybe that's not the right word, whatever you see your part on the other side of that, there's also positive stories to report on, but those don't get attention. Those don't get consumption, but we have to be really intentional about what we consume and what we allow in now.so the poison is sneaky and I wrote this post around my workouts because for years I only worked out to music. And one of the hardest things that I did was I started working out in silence. Now I'm one of those interesting people when I would run, I would always like to run in silence and just listen to nature. But when I was in the gym, I always wanted to listen to music, the hard stuff or anything. And I started working out in silence and running was easy for me, but working out like lifting weights and moving a lot in silence. Was actually really difficult and most gyms play loud music. So I was just started using my noise, canceling headphones and keeping them on and may end where there's some interesting thoughts in there of self-doubt you can't do it.Do one more like without any external fuel whatsoever, but it ended up being really powerful for me. And now what's really funny is when I work out with heavyweights. I actually listen to like lectures from philosophers or doctors or audio books or things like that. Like now I don't even listen to music when I work out. I just listened to good positive talks, but I wrote this post because I was going through that phase and it was really interesting because as my body's working on and moving. I have an increased ability in my brain to create neural networks for learning. And as I'm working out, I'm actually more absorbed full of all that stuff coming in.And I worked out once or twice a day, and I was thinking about all that rap music that I listened to and things like that and what it was saying and what I wasn't even like consciously hearing, but with subconsciously programming my body. With subconsciously programming, the computer that would then go relate to my wife, relate to my customers, relate to my team and wondered why I was acting or behaving the way that I was, because I was a little disconnected from self and my values because something else had programmed it in.so I wanted to talk about this because, as entrepreneurs. As business owners, as people that are listen, you're listening to this podcast, you're changing the world. The end. Thank you for doing the work that you do, but your job isn't to shine somebody else's light. Your job is to shine your light. Your light is what makes the difference, your light, signature the brightness of your life, your message, your product, your story, your offer, the way that you lead your team, the way that you lead your family, the way that you speak words into people, the way that you speak words in yourself, like every single thing that you do is your gift. And the more time that you have connected to you. And your intuition in that space, the brighter your light becomes. It's your message. Not somebody else's message that stuff. Isn't going to help your message. I need you to spend more time in relationship with you and your message or disseminating your message. Like instead of listen to the musical, make music, instead of listening, just go do a live video, make content, do something. You need to be intentional about every single thing that comes into your world. Every single thing that you hear that you watch, that you listened to, you have to be intentional about it, including the environments that you're in. if you're not consuming leave space so you can create. So if you go into the sauna to sit there and silence and watch what happens, you'll consume your own thoughts and you'll have the best clarity you've ever had. Go sit on the couch, look out the window and just stare at nothing and practice boredom for 30 minutes.These are the seven book recommendations that I have. Book number one, I'm going to preface book number one. With a statement that I learned to love and understand more and more every single day. You are guaranteed to be in a relationship with one person for the rest of your life. And that is you. And it is a relationship shift that needs to be practiced and pursued no different than your significant, other than your kids, then your business partners. It has to be pursued. So book recommendation, number one, Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends on It by Kamal Ravikant. So book number two is the wedge by Scott Carney. Now Scott Carney wrote another book. I think it's along the lines of what doesn't kill us. How cold exposure he studied. Wim Hoff. I got into cold therapy and breath work through Wim Hoff cold therapy is what helped me start to be. More proactive and less reactive to situations outside of myself. It was huge for my PTSD, my nightmares, the things that I struggle with. And so book number two is the wedge by Scott Carney. And basically my summary of this book is this book talks about and gives you ways to teach yourself on how to control your autonomic nervous system. So in the world happens when trauma happens, when your ad account gets shut down, that employee quits, when you lose money. That you are given a moment of awareness to pause and choose your response instead of reacting. And so it puts you in the driver's seat of awareness and it gives you tools to train yourself, to be able to hold what's coming in from the world. So you can respond versus react.Book number three, the secret to life, the secret to life. The thing. That we don't appreciate until it's taken away and that most people wish they could have one more of. Breath. So the book is Breathe by James Nestor. Now I had done breath work and understood breath work and use breath work. But once I read this book, it changed my relationship and I realized how breathing is the secret weapon of success for entrepreneurs and human beings that utilize it? It's absolutely mind-blowing. I could not do this book justice. Breathe more, but breathe more now. And then after you finished that book brief by James Nestor. Book number four, in my opinion, is a manuscript, a manual of how you should live your life and how you should live in business. This book is a playbook. It is literally a playbook that guarantees your success both in life and in business. And this book is called the Go-Giver by Bob Burg. The Go-Giver by Bob Burg. It'll change everything. Guaranteed. If you use this book as a manual, there is zero way. And zero way that you can lose in life or in business. So book number four is the Go-Giver by Bob Burg. Now book number five is about toxic thinking and toxic thinking is something I didn't really understand and toxic thinking. When eliminated is just a simple choice in the way that we have an internal dialogue and the way that we relate to certain things, this book is by an author named Jamie smart. And this book is a really easy read or a really easy lesson. It is called the little book of clarity, the Little book of clarity by Jamie Smart. And let me give you the overview and the premise for me. So basically I lived, most of my entrepreneurial career of I'll do this when right. I'll buy that. When I will start working out. When I hit this number, I will hire this employee. When I get that, I will spend more time with my family when I hit that thing. Here's the truth is that thing never comes because the finish line. Always moves. And so toxic thinking is thinking just that there is any other moment, but now, and it gives a really simple tools and practices to shift that, thinking to create the results now, which actually amplify everything that you do. And so that book is absolutely amazing. Book number six, books. Number six is extreme ownership by Jocko Willink. Now I might have an affinity for this book because I was in the military and I really appreciate directness, but Jocko. I don't care if you've heard of him or not the way that he delivers the wisdom through his life experience. And what he has is mind blowing Jocko was a commander in the Navy seals. I believe, I don't remember his specific rank. He was in the Navy seals. For most of his career has seen stuff that most human beings should never wish. That another human being saw he has had experience with things that most people never experienced and the way that he delivers this, plus being a husband, a father, and a human being is just absolutely beautiful to me. And so I've never met Jocko personally. I consume a lot of his content. I love his books. I love a lot of his social posts. I love the example that he is, but this book is extreme ownership. Is really an important concept to understand as a human being, no one's coming to save us as a business owner as an entrepreneur. No, one's coming to save us. If you have low sales, nobody's going to come magically show up at your doorstep and bring you on a unicorn, a sales bucket. We have to find the solution. We have to empower somebody, inspire somebody, do it ourselves. Nobody's coming to fix that situation. Nobody's coming to have that hard conversation. Nobody's going to come lose the weight for us or make the money for us or change this for us only. We are. And back when I used to be in the personal development world, when I was going through trainings, they always used to say a hundred percent responsible, a hundred percent of the time. And it was this concept that I really didn't understand. And what took me a long time to understand it wasn't even, it wasn't even the fact that like I might be responsible. It's the fact that I look at every situation like I am responsible, which empowers me to always choose my next input. And so no one's coming to save us. Nobody's coming to save me. And so extreme ownership is a very amazing way and an amazing book that reminds me of that. And it gives me the tools required to put me in action. And then my final book is about perspective. And my final book is about deep perspective because I have a story in my life, I've experienced the life that I've utilized as a story. I have life experiences that most people, when I share them, give me sympathy or empathy. And I have a story that I've been able to hide behind before. Where my story has been my crutch. It's been my distraction. It's been my kind of excuse card, my get out of jail free card. Like I don't have to do the whole work side of the story. And I used to hide behind this story and my story was missing some perspective because I wasn't using my story for good all the time. I was using my story, but I didn't know better at the time. I was just afraid to feel and afraid to be really vulnerable with those close to me. But this book. Oh, man. I listened to this book like once every six months and this book just has a way, it has a way of like slapping reality. And to me, like slapping perspective into me where I was like, I would give anything to have my life again, a hundred times over from this book.And though that book is man's search for meaning by Viktor Frankl, man's search for meaning by Viktor Frankl. I can't say anything else about that book. I won't even do it justice, if you have never read or listened to that book, do it. If you have listened to it again, and then consume a lot more of Victor Frankel's work, I found writings from him and things like that. It is absolutely mind blowing.

Reach Sky Bergman at skybergman@gmail.com. To learn more visit her website lives-well-lived.com  TRANSCRIPTThis is Changing the Rules, a podcast about designing the life you want to live, hosted by KC Dempster and Ray Loewe, the luckiest guy in the world.KC Dempster  0:12  Good morning, everybody. Welcome to Changing the Rules. I'm KC Dempster. And I'm here with my co host Ray Loewe. At the, here we go, wonderful Wildfire Podcast Studios in beautiful downtown Woodbury, New Jersey.Ray Loewe  0:27  You did that all by yourself? That was extraordinary.KC Dempster  0:30  Yeah, that's because I'm extraordinaryRay Loewe  0:32  must be Tuesday.KC Dempster  0:36  Yes, and we have an amazing, amazing guest to talk with today. And, Ray, do you want to say a few words before we get jump right in?Ray Loewe  0:44  Yeah, we have a young lady by the name of Sky Bergman, we're going to introduce her in a second here. And the whole project that she's been working on just kind of fits the luckiest people in the world. So well. Okay, and let's just get right to it. Because there's just so much to say. So let me start by saying that Sky Bergman is a photographer, and a filmmaker. I'm going to give her more kind of the takeaway is she's got this extraordinary film that we're gonna be talking about today, which will be aired on PBS in May. So this is, you know, top notch stuff here. We're not, we're not in the minor leagues.KC Dempster  1:25  Yeah, we're getting into the a list here.Ray Loewe  1:27  Yeah. And so sky has been professional photography and videography at Cal Poly state in San Luis Obispo in California. And she's been there for quite a while. So you know, she's established her herself. She also is a fine art photographer, and she has displays in museums all over the world. Okay. She in her earlier career was a travel photographer.KC Dempster  1:53  That's fascinating.Ray Loewe  1:54  It was only fascination it's near and dear to my heart. I wish I could do that. Yeah, I love to travel. I love to take pictures. I just haven't figured out how to be good enough to do that. Yeah. And lastly, she's a filmmaker and sky Say hello.Sky Bergman  2:08  Hi, thank you so much for having me. I really appreciate the opportunity to speak with both of you.Ray Loewe  2:13  Well, I think the opportunity is ours more than yours, because you have an extraordinary project here. And let's start off by getting right into the project part of this. And talk a little bit about what you had in mind when this whole thing. Well, actually, let's back up a little bit. Let's talk about your grandmother first.Sky Bergman  2:38  Absolutely near and dear to my heart. I always love talking about my grandmother.My grandmother was an amazing woman and really was my hero and my role model. And she came out to visit me for the very first time she lived in Florida. And as you mentioned, I live in California. And she came out to visit me for the first time when she was 96. Wow. For the next four summers. She spent the month of August with me which if you had been in Florida in August, you know it was a good time to leave here. And we would spend that month cooking, we go to the farmers market, we come home we cook because I realized like all good cooks. She never wrote a recipe down. And I really wanted to capture her cooking and her essence. And I guess in a way I realized that that was really the way she showed her love was through her cooking. And we had a remarkable time of filming what we called our Cucina Nonna series. And I should say I never did any video up until that point. But it was my grandmother that inspired me to do that. And, and so it was just wonderful. But when she was turning 100 I went back with her to Florida and she was working still working out of the gym. She started at the age of 80. So it is now too late to start something new. I wanted to use that as an excuse, no excuses.But I thought I better filmer because I mean nobody's gonna believe that almost 100 she's still working out at the gym. And I had a I had her miced, thankfully. And I said, Grandma, can you give me some words of wisdom. And she said things like live life to the limits and be kind. And I came back from that trip. And I was looking at approaching 50 I'm now 55 but I was in my late 40s and I was looking for role models of what I wanted the rest of my life to look like. And you know, I think that when we look at the those types of things in movies on TV, there's they're so stereotypical, and they're, they're terrible. It's not, you know, they're not positive role models of aging. So I was really specifically looking for positive role models of aging. And so I put a call out to my friends, family and all my alum that I've taught over the 26 years I've been here at Cal Poly. And I said, here's a link to this one minute video that I put together my grandmother, and if you have somebody like her that's an inspiration as much as she is To me, please nominate them for this project. And it was just amazing the heartwarming, heartfelt nominations that I received and four years later and 40 interviews later, I had a film. There must be inspiration.KC Dempster  5:17  I was gonna say there must be more to it than that, because it's an amazing film.Ray Loewe  5:20  Yeah. So let's, let's, let's get into the project. So you're you are a professor, for good or bad, right? So So it's, it's natural that you would take this thing and turn it into a project and involve your students. So to talk a little bit about the project itself, and how you got involved in some of the things that happened?Sky Bergman  5:44  Sure, well, you know, I had I created this film. And I had, like I said, 40 people with 3000 years of collective life experience, and we had a very successful theatrical release. And I would go to audiences. And I would say to them all, how many of you know somebody that would have been perfect for the film, and of course, like 98% of the hands would go up. And one of the things that I realized as I was doing the film, in the research for the film is I found that the last 100 years, is the first time in human history that we've looked to anyone other than our elders for advice. And I really feel the world is suffering as a result. And so I realized, I have all these people that watch the film, and think, wow, I know somebody that would be great to interview to connect with as a result of watching this film, why not make an intergenerational project that has makes that happen, and connect the generations and and make sure that those, you know that history is not lost, and that youth and students have that wisdom of our elders that is also being lost, I very much take for or used to take for granted that I was very close to my grandparents, and even had my great grandmother lived to be 97. I was 19, when she passed away. So she was very much also an influence in my life, but so many people don't have that. And so I collaborated with somebody here at my university that teaches the psychology of aging class. And we started showing the film and then to elders and to students. And then having those students and elders Connect, pairing them up. And they use the questions that I formulated for the film, to really get to know each other throughout the quarter. And then we do a big wrap party at the end, where they get to present what they've learned. And it's it's just such a wonderful experience that's happened in many universities and high schools across the country. This is just the first place that we did it and kind of created this learning module that can be plugged in played into other institutions. And we're doing it virtually now. We're working with senior planet, members throughout the country and our students here. And so it's it's just it's amazing. And I think, you know, one of the things that the Coronavirus has spotlighted is issues of loneliness and social isolation. And these intergenerational connections really minimize the divide between generations. And you it's really hard to have a stereotype belief about another group of people if you know somebody from that group of people. So I feel like I'm combating ageism one story and one connection at a time.Ray Loewe  8:20  Well, you know, that's all true that the COVID thing has caused this disruption in the force here. But But I think there's something more to that. And you were telling me about one of your students, I think his name was James, who you took out with you and you don't talk about his comments from?Sky Bergman  8:36  Oh, yeah. So I have this wonderful student, when I would do these interviews for the film, I would try and take a student with me more so that they would learn and they can help me set up lights and things like that. And he was on the interview with me for lucky Louie who was a wonderful man who used to make fresh mozzarella every morning for his daughter's deli right up until a week before he passed away. And he was 97 when he passed away, but when we interviewed him, he was 92. And and this and and he is just lucky Louie just talks up a storm and so engaging. And James and I kind of went out to lunch after we did the interview and had a little bit of a, you know, wrap about, Hey, what did you think of this interview? And James said to me, wow, I never knew that older people talked so much. I mean, you know, it's kind of funny, right? Because I grew up with my grandparents. They're Italian. They talk all the time.But I said to him, Well, James, don't you have any, any elders in your life? And he said, Well, I have a grandfather, but I've never really talked to him. And I said, Okay, no, it's coming up on Thanksgiving. And I said, Here's your assignment. I want you to take this list of questions. And I want you to start the conversation with the grandfather. And he came back from that trip and he was beaming from ear to ear because he had he didn't know how to start the conversation and I don't think his grandfather did either and they had the most incredible time. And I think that that's one of the things that this kind of module that we put together really works, because it's really hard to say to somebody, just tell me about your life, you know, it's much easier if you have a list of questions that you can go down that kind of start that conversation. And what a gift that was for me to see James's reaction after having that dialogue and that conversation with his grandfather after all these years, and James is like in his 20s. So it's not like he's a young kid. But he just, I think that neither the grandfather nor nor the grandson knew where to start the conversation. And so putting it in some kind of a framework helped to open up a really wonderful relationship for both of them.Ray Loewe  10:47  You know, this is so important. And we had a mini project here, my wife is an educator, and we took a class of eighth graders and connected them with a long term care at home group. And we brought the kids in to talk to the senior citizens. And once we got going, we couldn't shut them up. So you're absolutely right, there's a need for a starting point. And one of the problems with what we did is we had to get all these permission slips to get kids to go out of the classroom. So Zoom is done as another favor here in a way. Okay, absolutely. So, so other than the fact that your project has recorded seniors, which is wonderful, it's gotten students to understand how to talk to seniors. Are there any other notable things that you want to mention here?Sky Bergman  11:44  Well, I mean, I think it's also, you know, especially in this time that the film, really one of the things that I that I did when I I didn't know, first of all, I should go back step back a moment. I didn't know that I was creating a film when I started this project. I really just thought I was collecting the stories of elders, and maybe it'd be a web series or something, but it ended up when I there was one woman that I interviewed, who had came over on the very first Kindertransport, and she still had the cardboard number that she was wearing around her neck. When she came on that Kindertransport, which was the Quakers in the for those of you that know, don't know what the Kindertransport is the Quakers in the United Kingdom, were trying to save as many Jewish children from Austria and Germany as they could before the war broke out, and they save 10,000 Kids Wow. And she was one of them. And I'm Jewish, and I didn't even know that story. And she, like I said, still had this cardboard number that she wore around her neck. And I thought I have this has to be a film, this has to be something more than just a web series. Now, I've never done a film before why I thought I could do that. I don't know. But I've always been one of those people that I say why instead of you know, I say why not? Instead of why. And I just if it's my passion, I just follow it. But you know, I think that the the film right now, these these stories of resilience and overcoming obstacles, is really resonating with people and helping us get through this time of the pandemic, because we're all going through this unique time together. And I think that one of the things that is so notable for me from the film that has really helped me is Evy Justesen, she's one of the people that I interviewed from the film talks about reading Victor Frankel's Man's Search for Meaning. And the thing that she got out of that was that there are many times when you can't control the things that are happening around you. But what you can control is your attitude. Your attitude is really the only thing that you can control. And the moment that, you know, we can't control that there's a pandemic going on. But we can control our attitude. And we can learn to pivot. And, you know, like you were saying, Ray, that now this has opened up a whole new world of people being online and connecting in different ways than we would have. And I've done screenings literally all over the world that maybe wouldn't have happened with Q and A's. And you know, where I can be part of it, because I'm doing it from my house and streaming it anywhere in the world. And so, I think that, in this moment, those stories of resilience, it gives us hope that we can get through this time as well.KC Dempster  14:17  Sky, did you run into any I know, especially centering around survivors of the the camps in World War Two, that a lot of times they didn't want to talk about it. So that's why their family didn't know anything. Did you run into that? Or you know, anything like that?Sky Bergman  14:36  I did. I actually, you know, I think Well, part of it is I think that because I was doing the film as a total labor of love and the people that I was interviewing and knew the story of my grandmother and they could and I could show the footage of her and really that's why I was doing the film they could they could sense that that true love, right? So they opened to me in ways that they hadn't opened up to other people, including family members. I mean, I think of the story of Emmy Cleves, who I interviewed her because she does the yoga that I do. And she's been a teacher that yoga practice for many, many years. She was in her 80s. When I interviewed her, she's now 92. And she, I didn't know this whole other story, but she and her mother escaped Riga, Latvia, and it's a long story short, they were trying to get on a plane on a train, they were on a train platform, and her mom was on the train platform. And she was handing up the bags to her mom and the doors, the train just closed, and the train took off. And she was left on the train platform by herself. At the age of I think 16. And she really had never shared that story before. And I remember the moment that she shared it with me as I was interviewing her. And my jaw just dropped. And then I had to keep going with the interview and just, you know, pivot because Okay, I was thinking, I was interviewing her for one reason, which was, wow, you're doing this amazing thing. And you've been doing this your whole life. And here, she had this great tragedy that happened in her life. And, you know, I can't help but think, what was I doing at that age? And how would I have reacted? How would I have gotten through that? And so, yes, there were certainly those stories that I think came out. And what I found interesting was that these people knew, at a certain point, knew that I was making a film. And yet they're still incredibly open and trusting. And I think, in that was a real gift for me that they were so trusting with their stories. And I, I said that I was on a panel discussion with five of the people that were in the film, one of them being Paul Wolf, Marion's husband. And I said that and he said, you know, we, we are so thankful to you, because you cared enough to collect our stories. And so I think at a certain moment, these people are at the point where they really want their stories to be heard, and they want it preserved for the next generations to come. And so maybe that just was at the right moment in time for me to collect some of those stories that they didn't feel comfortable talking about earlier.KC Dempster  17:14  So So do you think it's that your audience is should be geared more towards younger people to to show them the impact of what they should be doing? Or continue or not continue? I'm making an assumption, but to be showing it to people who are in their 70s 80s 90s, who have stories to tell? I mean, where? Or is it like across the board?Sky Bergman  17:39  It's really across the board. I mean, I think what it does is every generation gets something different out of watching the film. So you know, 70s 80s and 90s, maybe it makes you realize, wow, I should think about recording my story and sharing that so that I can, you know, leave that as my legacy. I think people who are like my age. I'm actually I'm a Gen Xer, but you know, Gen Xers and boomers. And I hate to put people in categories, but there is that those categories are those categories. I think it helps us look at what do we have to look forward to as we age, you know, and then I think, for younger generations, like the students in high schools and colleges that have primarily dealing with these intergenerational projects, it gives them a connection to the history and a connection to learning something about, you know, what they can look forward to in terms of their life and how they can put it in perspective. And, you know, I often have students comment, when they have seen the film, and when they've done this project, that one of the biggest takeaways for them is that the really the only difference between the student and the elder is age and that they there's so they find that there's so much more that they have in common than they ever thought they would. And that's so wonderful to hear. Because I think again, there's this stereotypical belief that it's like, well, if you're older, you're I'm not gonna have anything that I can talk to you about. And that's just not true. And I think it's just it takes that time of sitting down with somebody over an extended period of time to realize that those those stereotypical beliefs that we had can be thrown out the window. Yeah, yeah.No, the the website that you have this on is www dot lives hyphen, well, hyphen, lives.com. And, and, you know, you've talked a little bit about the conversations you had with some of these people about their past. But one of the things that I gathered out of looking at this thing is the part about the lives well lived. So can you take a minute and talk about what is a life well lived?That's a really good question. And I would say, you know what, when I put together the film, one of the things that I really tried to make sure of was that in every story that I told there was a poignant moment, a word of wisdom and humorous moment because we all need humor to get through the tough times. So you know, the words of wisdom that I collected, you can actually see them on the website. If you go to the film stars page, my favorite quotes from everyone in the film are on that page. And but I think, you know, I can sum up the best quote, and probably the best definition of a life well lived that I heard from one of the people in the film was from Lucky Louie, who said, "Happiness is a state of mind, you can be happy with what you have, or miserable with what you don't have. You decide." And I think of that often. You know, it's really again, it comes down to your attitude. But I think that, for me, my definition of a life well lived is it really comes from my grandmother, which is, she had this adage to just always be kind. And I think that she really lived her life that way. And if we were all just a little kinder to each other, imagine what a better world this would be. That's for sure. And that is, that is my definition of a life well lived is to be kind to each other.Ray Loewe  21:06  Okay, well, unfortunately, we're at the end of our time. And I think your last statement is a great way to kind of end here. And we're gonna post your website along with our podcast notes. So people are going to be able to find you. And I would encourage people to look at this. It is wonderful. It's it's mind boggling. It's motivational. It's brings out all the emotions in you when you go through this. And you can do private airings of this, if you wish, if you have your own group. And there's a nominal cost to do that. And I'm sure Sky will show up and make her comments along the way. Is that is that true Sky?Sky Bergman  21:45  Indeed, indeed.Ray Loewe  21:46  And and so just thank you so much for being with us. And thank you for showing us that you're one of the luckiest people in the world and for introducing us to a whole bunch of other luckiest people in the world. So thanks so much for being with us.Sky Bergman  22:02  Thank you. Thank you so much for having me.KC Dempster  22:04  And thank you everybody for tuning in. Again, a fabulous podcast, share it with your friends, and tune in again next week when we'll have another great guest for you.Kris Parsons  22:15  Thank you for listening to Changing the Rules, a podcast designed to help you live your life the way you want and give you what you need to make it happen. Join us next week for our next exciting topic on Changing the Rules with KC Dempster and Ray Loewe, the luckiest guy in the world.   

Using Your Speaking To Influence James Taylor interviewed Karen Leong and they talked about Using Your Speaking To Influence In today's episode Karen Leong talk about Using Your Speaking To Influence. Karen Leong is a sought-after keynote speaker and Influence thought leader. A TEDx speaker, and the author of the book ‘Win People Over – 75 Simple and Powerful Ways to Influence Anyone', she was featured as one of the ten influential professional speakers in Singapore by the Singapore Business Review. A regular guest contributor on television, radio and print, Karen was on Channel News Asia's panel as an Influence and Body Language expert, where she analysed the last US Presidential Debates “live” in the studio. Karen is the co-founder of Influence Solutions, a leading learning and development organization, headquartered in Singapore with offices in USA, India and Sweden. She has been profiled on Channel U's CEO series and in the media as one of the “10 Fearless Singaporean entrepreneurs who made it happen”. In leading organizational development projects, Karen builds upon her decade-long corporate career specializing in audit, consulting and IPO projects with KPMG in Singapore, Hong Kong and China. What we cover: Productivity, Performance and Profit Using Your Speaking To Influence Words, Voice and Visuals The 2 Pillars of Influence Resources: Karen's Website Please SUBSCRIBE ►http://bit.ly/JTme-ytsub ♥️ Your Support Appreciated! If you enjoyed the show, please rate it on YouTube, iTunes or Stitcher and write a brief review. That would really help get the word out and raise the visibility of the Creative Life show. SUBSCRIBE TO THE SHOW Apple: http://bit.ly/TSL-apple Libsyn: http://bit.ly/TSL-libsyn Spotify: http://bit.ly/TSL-spotify Android: http://bit.ly/TSL-android Stitcher: http://bit.ly/TSL-stitcher CTA link: https://speakersu.com/the-speakers-life/ FOLLOW ME: Website: https://speakersu.com LinkedIn: http://bit.ly/JTme-linkedin Instagram: http://bit.ly/JTme-ig Twitter: http://bit.ly/JTme-twitter Facebook Group: http://bit.ly/IS-fbgroup Read full transcript at https://speakersu.com/using-your-speaking-to-influence-sl093/ James Taylor Hi, it's James Taylor, founder of SpeakersU. Today's episode was first aired as part of International Speakers Summit the world's largest online event for professional speakers. And if you'd like to access the full video version, as well as in depth sessions with over 150 top speakers, then I've got a very special offer for you. Just go to InternationalSpeakersSummit.com, where you'll be able to register for a free pass for the summit. Yep, that's right 150 of the world's top speakers sharing their insights, strategies and tactics on how to launch grow and build a successful speaking business. So just go to InternationalSpeakersSummit.com but not before you listen to today's episode. Hey, there is James Taylor and I'm delighted today to welcome Karen Leong. Karen is a sought after keynote speaker and influence thought leader, a TEDx speaker and the author of the book win people over 75 simple and powerful ways to influence anyone. She was featured as one of the 10 influential professional speakers in Singapore by the Singapore business review. A regular guest contributor on television, radio and print. Karen was on Channel News Asia's panel as an influence and body language expert where she analyzed the last US presidential debates live in the studio. Karen is the co founder of influence solutions, a leading Learning and Development Organization headquartered in Singapore with offices in the USA, India and Sweden. She has been profiled on Channel us CEO series and in the media as one of the 10 feelers, Singaporean entrepreneurs who made it happen. In leading organizational development projects, Karen builds upon her decade long corporate career, specializing in audit consulting and IPO projects, with KPMG in Singapore, Hong Kong, and China. It's my great pleasure to have Karen join us today. So welcome, Karen. Karen Leong Thank you, James. And it's such a pleasure to be speaking with you and, and really adding value to your amazing platform. James Taylor So share with everyone that's watching right now, what's happening in your world just now know, lots, Karen Leong lots of things are happening. In fact, you know, a lot of companies are seeking to help their people to be more influential. And one of the two most important things that are happening, there's a lot happening in the leadership space, and now especially in change, helping companies to deal with disruption. So life is very exciting. We live in very interesting time. James Taylor Absolutely. And that was a Chinese thing he was he said he was it beware of living in interesting times, because it's a bit of a double edged sword is it has opportunities and threats, as well. Karen Leong No, no, absolutely. And this is also one thing that we always focus on, you know, in every situation, there is a problem, and there is an opportunity. So whichever every, you know, whichever point that you focus on becomes your reality. So the good thing is, you know, again, the more we start to see these interesting times as great opportunities, we are going to be finding them James Taylor tell everyone, how did you get started into this world of speaking? I mean, I mentioned before you work with KPMG, big consulting type projects as well. But when did the person we know us today that can speak at a keynote speaker? When did that part begin? Karen Leong You know, you know, that's, that's a really interesting question, James. And a lot of people always ask, how do you get started in the speaking business? How do you become an entrepreneur because I speak a lot on entrepreneurship as well. So one of the turning points came when I decided that, you know, I had a burnt out when I was working too hard in audit, and consulting. And I decided to take a break. So I took a year long sabbatical in Amsterdam, helping women who are trafficked in the sex industry, and just take stepping out, changing my perspective, really helped me to discover that it's not just success, I'm gunning for but significance. So that's when I started my first business and fashion, and helping people look good. And then I realized that, hey, what I really want is not only to help people to look good, but to feel good, and be at their best. And this is now my second business influence solutions. I co founded it. We've been within business for over seven years now. And it's really exciting. You know, now that we have offices in three other continents, and I think so. So I always tell people, you know, just step out of the comfort zone, try different things and you never, you'll be amazed at the kind of doors of opportunities that opened up. James Taylor And as you started moving into becoming a speaker, who were those early mentors for you who the people that maybe have taken you under their wing have helped support you and can provide advice and mentorship. Karen Leong One interesting tip that I always give aspiring speakers is to surround yourself with people who are very different from you. And I would say that, you know, one of my closest partners and mentors is Mike Harmon, co founder and director. We started the company together. Seven years ago. And the interesting thing is because he had such a different perspective for me, in fact, we still debate and Quarrel a lot. But that, but you know, when you surround yourself with with people who are different, you expand your worldview, you do not get limited by how you see things. So that helped me to see beyond a one dimension perspective of the business, that I not only honed my craft in speaking, but also running a speaking business. And I think for every speakers, you know, how to excel on stage is important. But yet how to excel off stage is equally important, because we often spend more time building the business to preparing to speak on stage, James Taylor essentially, as I've been interviewing all these incredible speakers, one of the things that I've seen, it's not with every speaker, but I would say probably the majority of them, there is a creative peer there there is someone else, they have the help support them in their speaking, it could be spouse, it could be a business manager, and usually that person is the complete opposite of them. So usually, the speaker is a person who obviously very happy getting up on stages, and being that person, and the person is more in the office, it loves all the detail and going to the fight near the fine detail of things and the selling and making stuff happen as well. So it's great that you have in your business, one of those creative pairs, you have someone that can it can act as the opposite. I mean, this is one of the things I was you know, from your time at KPMG that now in organizations, you know, after the last big crash in the US and the worldwide crash, when they looked at it, they said one of the things that they found is those companies that took the biggest crash with the least diverse in terms of their their senior leadership, as well. So in a lot of companies has spent a lot more time on having much more diverse boards in them as well to to have a different different views coming. Karen Leong No, absolutely. And we need to remember one thing you know, as speakers, why clients seek us out is because they're having a problem. And one of the biggest problems that companies all face are the problem with people and performance. And, and so you know that being able to help companies to tap into diversity is always going to be a powerful way of solving real problems, that almost any company with more than a couple of people will face. Because you know, you think about it, you know, if you have a team of 10 people all who are cognitive and intelligent, there is bound to be conflict, there is bound to be different viewpoints. So, for us, like you know, at influence solutions, we have a mandate, where we are focused on helping companies be more profitable by helping people be more productive, and productivity performance. These are the two peas, that companies are all looking for the end of the day. I mean, they might hire us for for being an expert in change in leadership influence. But at the end, it is performance. It is productivity, its profitability that companies are seeking solutions for so and so that's that's one thing that I want to ask people to do. You know, it's like when you become a problem solver, you would always be in demand. James Taylor So you are known as being like present terms of being an influential person yourself and helping others become influential, whether that's as CEOs or speakers or whatever their their role in his life in life. I'm interested like that, that whole thing about insurance, we hear that phrase batted around a lot. But can you actually say, what really is influenced? What does that? What does that mean? And what are the component parts of it of being influential? Karen Leong You know, you hit upon a magic question. Because a lot of times influence is such a broad word, like like, you know, so how do you actually break it down to something simple? If you really think about it, I'm going to ask you to do an experiment, which is to look into your head, when you meet somebody for the first time. What happens? James Taylor Right, so Karen Leong two questions pop up. Let's look at the first question. When you meet someone new, the first question you ask yourself is do I like this person? And this happens in a matter of seconds. So it's not logical? It's an intuitive, it's an emotional answer. So the answer is, No. What happens is that the conversation ends, there is no incentive to really want to know that person. But the answer is yes, I like you, then we are more motivated to start, continue interacting, continue listening to that person. So what does like really mean? It actually the mind is actually asking us do I trust this person's intentions? So that's the really first pillar of influence which is likability, which is to have people trust your intentions. And let's look at the second pillar of influence. When people like you, they will ask a second question, do I respect you? Now what this really means is do I trust your capabilities. So influence is broken down into whether somebody trusts your intentions, and trust your capabilities. And when some, when you're able to help people to like and respect you at the same time, that's when you are in a zone of maximum trust. And so a lot of people tend to veer more towards using like, or more towards using respect, but I want to share with you this magic sentence, like opens the door to influence. And it's respect that keeps the door open. So any, whether you are a speaker, or you're an executive, or just anybody who wants to get buy in from people do remember, number one, the power of helping out letting people know that your intentions are pure. So they trust you, they lead you. And secondly, to showcase your expertise, so that people trust your capability. James Taylor So just thinking about breaking that down and the like, and the respect, and I'm almost thinking that now, when a speaker goes out on stage, isn't that great speakers I've seen rather than start with all the very tactical things, the start is like Simon Sinek, they'll start with why they're why they're in it, which is basically pulling, going to the intention, do I trust this person is what this person is saying? Do I Do I trust that their intention is right there why connects with me as well. And that kind of then helps with that that like part. And then they will then go on? Sometimes it's done beforehand, by the by the person that's announcing them on saying this person is the top of this and has all these awards? And sometimes that speaker maybe they weren't necessarily right at the start. But relatively early on, usually in the first 15 minutes. They'll say something along the lines. So why should you Why should you listen to what I'm saying? And and they're basically kind of laying out the risk, the respect part, they're laying out their qualifications as to why why you should be listening to them on this particular topic, Karen Leong and very well said. So I think the key thing is understanding the sequencing, a lot of speakers who are eager to showcase your expertise, job flying, but a lot of people don't realize the importance of opening the door first. And I like how you talked about the why, you know, when people feel your passion, and they feel that your heart is in the right place, not so much focusing on yourself, but on giving, on helping the audience benefits, perhaps because you have a cause it's bigger than your own. That's when people decide that, hey, I'm going to let you in, I'm going to listen. And only when that happens, can you then have your message Connect really powerfully with them? James Taylor Now one of the things that you've done before is I know in on news channels, analyze the body language, and I'm interested on that on that, like factors especially, are there things that you see from the speakers who are able to connect very, very quickly, and build that likability with the audience very, very quickly, that they all have in common, Karen Leong you know, it's so likeability is one of the simplest way to show likability is when you know, when you are really, you know, when you when you show that you like the other person, so people, so two things happen, people like people who like them. So which means that you know, starting out and just, you know, being real smiling, and just having open gestures tell people that, hey, I'm open, I like you. Well, the second thing is people like people who are like themselves, so which means that, you know, if you're able to connect with people at the same level, as opposed to looking down at people, where people feel that, hey, you know, they can really relate to you. Perhaps even the way you speak the more conversational it is, it feels like they are having a talking to a friend talking to somebody who cares. So the more people feel that they are like you and you are like them, again, that connection becomes a lot closer and they are going to let you in. Because likability is about closing the gap. The same thing, what is rapport, rapport, establishing rapport is from a French word needs to bring back, which means that you're able to close the gap to make people feel that hey, you are actually in sync with them. So body language definitely plays a very, very strong role in communicating the message, not just your words, James Taylor and it's interesting because I remember seeing it there was there was that famous stat years ago and it's probably probably wrong, but it was something along the lines of it's 7% is what you say. 30% is exactly how you say. And the vast majority is like body language you mentioned, like open gestures and things as well. And I'm guessing one thing that you always noticed about speaking in Singapore is, is a very global audience that you speak to them. Because people it's a, it's a meeting point, it's a hub from people all over the world. Obviously, a lot of big companies there. So you might be speaking to a room of 100 people, and there's like 50 different nationalities in that room as well. So you've kind of got you've got to kind of figure out then about how to how to connect with, you know, with with people have got maybe very different backgrounds to you different kind of cultures to use, or is there any any advice that you would give for speakers, when you are speaking to those more global audience is not quite as homogenous, you're speaking people from all over the world, different cultures, different backgrounds? Is there anything you can do to increase that likability factor early on, you know, Karen Leong he, as I speak, you know, in so many different countries across so many different industries, and it's really fascinating how similar people are. Because if you look at that, we all have the same emotions, we all, you know, have the same primary fears, the same primary dreams. So the key thing about likability, you talked about, you know, the three B's that 7%, where, you know, we communicate three ways, using words, using a voice. And also using visual like body language, people like you when they feel that you are congruent. What this means is that your words match up to the tone of your voice, which matches up to your body language. And when people feel that, hey, this person is in sync, that means you're authentic, you're speaking from the heart. That's when people feel that, hey, you are real. So just a really small tip, like, you know, during one of the presidential debates, I wouldn't I wouldn't let I will let you guess who which candidate we were talking about, then? You know, so the person was actually speaking something that was, you know, positive, but suddenly shaking the head. So it's really interesting. Imagine if you're saying something, which is, you know, you're saying that, yes, I said, Yes, but you're shaking your hand. The thing is that we all give out micro expressions. And when we don't believe what we say, when it's not congruent, our body actually speaks louder than our words do. And that's when people go, I'm not really, really sure whether, you know, I really trust you. So here's the tip, when we share something that we're really passionate about, for speakers who want to who want to, you know, to build a brand, the key thing, go back to your passions, because passions, helps us to keep it real. And you can't fake it, people connect to the see passion, people can feel passion, and that's when you are most. James Taylor So though, that it's interesting, you know, you're just talking about that, you know, those micro expressions and I was thinking about the other day there was in sports, they have tells on Poker, they have tails in in betting and things. And I remember listening to something recently, it was a very famous tennis player, I think it was like, maybe Boris Becker or Andrew Andre Agassi or someone, and he consistently would beat this opponent for years and years. And it was always these big matches a lot of tension. And it was all be them. And his opponent could never quite work out how he was beating him every single time. And it was only after I think was accuracy after he retired. They were having dinner together. And he said to me, oh, the guy system, I can never look at how you managed to beat me. I always knew exactly what I was gonna be playing next. And I think was agassi said, well, you have a tail, you have this microexpression that you do every time I know you. And for him it was if he was going to hit into the left corner, let's say he would, he would do something with his lips, or as nice as you can put into the left. And if it was the right it was to the right. And he said all I had to do was just watch your face. And I could tell exactly what you're gonna hit that shot. So I knew and this this I wish it is so obvious or obvious. And and I think that's one of the things that's interesting is I noticed I don't know if you do this, but I do this and it's extremely uncomfortable. I find to watch your videos of after you're presented on something and you see all those little micro expressions, those body language things and you can start to pick up actually, I can hear what I'm saying. But like when I switch the volume when I put the mute off, it just is not marrying up with with what I'm saying. When you when someone's built that respect, they say that they've got the like, they've got the respect How do they How do they leverage that respecting they've built the gone audience the the audience is liking them, the audience now respect them. How'd you How can you then leverage that for something else, Karen Leong you know, I love the story, but talking about legacy and and building upon it to the power of respect. I mean, just just to share with you that, just just take the example, that about how I wanted to build on respect, because, you know, when I wrote the book when people over and that was the book on influence, I, I was not yet an authority on influence. And I wanted to become a thought leader in influence. And that's why I decided to write a book. But the key thing is, a lot of people think that you need to be an authority first, before you become an author, before you get that respect, actually, it's the other way around, you know, when you become an author, you actually become an authority. So So, you know, to deciding that I'm going to write the book to win people over and through interviews, more than 100 interviews, and, and then designing and running my influence 247 programs for executives in 13 countries, and, and having an influence profiling tool, and we had 10s, of 1000s of profiles. See, that whole process actually helped me to hone my expertise, and help me to hone and clarify what exactly a person can do to become effortlessly naturally influence. So what I want to just point out is that, you know, just get started. And writing a book is one of the best credibility, indie caters the best way that you can add value to your audiences. So you're going to ask everyone just start writing, if you haven't had a book, you know, but it's writing on blogs or writing on social media, that process is going to sow the seeds for you to be able to write a book and become that thought leader, and the authority James Taylor and the fact you've influenced, you've interviewed all those, you know, 100 plus people about about influence. So you have all that primary research that you've done as well, was there anything as you were interviewing all these people, and it was something in the book, which maybe sounds a little bit counterintuitive, about an influence you can have shouldn't really work. But you just found time and time again, this is this is a really powerful way to influence anyone, Karen Leong let us show you something, which is interesting. A lot of people think that in order to really influence somebody, I need to put in a lot of effort. But the key thing is, we actually don't need to put a lot of effort in order to be able to win somebody. So just share a really short story. And it came out from what is one part of my book and how you can transform any relationship. So there was a there was a guy in the audience. And, you know, I asked him, I mean, he he actually said that, you know, he had somebody he wanted to influence. But the person so often what's the first word that comes to mind? And this was actually during a keynote? What was the first one that comes to mind when you think of that person? And he said, Well, you know, the person is really selfish. And so I said, Okay, so you could change the word into a neutral word, what would it be? And, you know, the whole audience actually gave him a lot of suggestions, a word that can replace selfish, but that's very similar in meaning that doesn't have a negative connotation. After about easily 20 suggestions, he couldn't find a word until somebody came up with a word, guess what it was? It's a magic word. It's called Word misunderstood. misunderstood? And he said, Yes, I think I think I could replace selfish with this misunderstood, and it didn't have any negative connotation. So you know, I said, Why don't you every time you see this person, you're going to replace that word? And can you let me know how it went? Do you know like, one month later, he actually shared with me that, you know, his relationship with a person changed. He was actually a colleague of his. And, you know, nothing happened in the first few days. But after missing the word misunderstood, he had a deeper conversation with her. And, you know, and then he realized that actually, she is a single mother and bringing up a daughter. And that's when it hit him that she's actually far from selfish because everything she did was for the daughter. So what I wanted it self love. Yeah, so just a really simple tip. We put words on everybody, but it's a client, whether it's a colleague, you know, whether it's a friend or purse or anybody, we slap a word on them. If the word is a negative one, your relationship would tend to be negative. But if the word is if we can change the work to neutral or positive The interesting thing is, we will start to open channels of communication. And, and that would actually allow us to understand the person and we'd be amazed at, you know, again, how people start to view and, and, and view people differently. So, so all of the things that we're all a mixed bag of words. And when you change the word into a positive one, you will have a positive relationship. And that's a simple tip in terms of transforming any relationship you want. James Taylor And as you were going in through your journey in terms of becoming a speaker, and speaking more internationally, was there a key aha moment and insight, light bulb moment you went, Oh, okay, this is maybe the direction I want to go with my speaking or these are the types of clients I want to work with, or you made some kind of key distinction in your speaking work. Karen Leong You know, it's really interesting, you asked that, because I want to look back in my journey, it has been so diverse, you know, the kinds of industries and the kind of countries that I've been in that, in fact, it's, it's my ability to transcend industries, to transcend cultures, and even leadership levels that has allowed me to really hone my expertise and make a big difference. So you know, even right now, I'm working on my next book, which is called the catalyst, micro actions that can spark personal revolutions. And I'm also in the process now of interviewing my next 100 people. And it's fascinating. It's fascinating that, you know, that there is so much actually, so much of the same problems, that people who are so different things. And again, there are so many amazing solutions that can work across situations. So I think, you know, sometimes it's good to go wide, before we go narrow, because when we go wide, and we speak in all kinds of platforms, it actually allows us to find what is the niche that allows us to make the biggest impact, no matter what industry and what country, James Taylor I think it's one of the interesting things about being a being a speaker, because you get to speak at so many different industries and so many different into so many different countries. You after a while, if you're speaking on one particular topic, and you're talking to his clients about how that topic relates to them, you start noticing patterns we've got so obviously the industry is is neither here nor there, it's you start to see the patterns, or whether it's in pharmaceuticals, or whether it's in entertainment, or whether it's in some completely different industry, you're going to get to see those things and then that can really become more like principles, and then you're able to kind of feed that back into your, your speaking as well. So I love that I love the idea of like finding catalysts, and moments of that, you know, those kind of catalyst moments that happen. So I'm looking forward to reading that book as it when it comes out next. And Karen Leong I'll keep you posted. James Taylor I want to see that book. So I was in your your speaker bag was in that bag that you carry with you to all of your various speaking engagements, you never leave home without what's in that bag. You know, it's Karen Leong interesting. I mean, I do have a bag that's kind of packed. And, but but essentially, it's easy. The key thing is that I always, you know, like to travel like so even though I pack it, it's like it's just the same thing, you know, having my clickers having a, you know, the other tech nail down. But the fascinating thing is that, you know, nowadays, I also always bring at least just one copy of my book. Because every, every time I'm being asked, you know if where is it that they can find my book. And I don't sell my books at keynotes. But most I mean, unless the conference organizers package it. But um, but but I realized that you know that that book has really opened the doors, and has really helped to create incredible value, especially, you know, whenever I'm speaking. So it's it's like a very natural calling card. And it's a way for me to at least give immediate value to to someone who has asked the best question. I love I love it when people ask questions, and my keynotes are always so many questions. So I always believe in rewarding in rewarding curiosity. And the more people are curious, you know, that's going to change the game for them. James Taylor And if you were to recommend one tool, one app, mobile app or tool online resource that you find really useful for yourself as a speaker, what would that tool be Karen Leong five letters Asana. I, my team because we're a global team. We live by our sada because you see running a speaking business Just not about speaking, it's about understanding how you run a smooth business that provides immediate value to your clients. So for us, you know, we work also virtually, across so many different time zones, and the ability to hold each other accountable. The ability to ensure that projects are done to expect a quality and to expect it speed. Because we pride ourselves on being fast in responding to clients, and ensuring that our clients are successful. So the only way that we could train companies and teams on how to be better leaders, how to be more productive, how to thrive on change, is if we embed the same principles within the organization. So I highly recommend productivity tools like Asana, so that we are efficient, highly productive, able to deliver massive value in the shortest amount of time. And what about a James Taylor book, if you do recommend just one book, not one of your own books, but maybe a book that is influenced your life, it could be on speaking or it could be on on influence? Or another topic, do you think would be a real value to the attendees here just now? What would that book be, you know, Karen Leong the book that has made the biggest change for me is Victor Frankel's Man's Search for Meaning. I have reread the book a couple of times. Because the thing is, you know, a lot of people want to, you know, embark on a journey to find success. Many people also want to do this to find happiness. But knowing what I know, now, you know, it's really doing something that's meaningful, that will allow us to play the long game, because the speaking business, you know, it's ultimately fulfilling, it can also be a roller coaster of challenges. And so, tying back to really doing that something meaningful, I think it gave me the resilience to go the distance, it gives me the gumption to really continue, and to do my best work. So that's the one book that I might go to, James Taylor I love I love that book as well. Um, I think, Mike, my take on that book is, I don't know, I don't know what your thoughts are better. But the big takeaway I took for it was that sometimes we don't necessarily know that at the point that we're living in an experience, what that meaning is, is only when we look back, it's like, I'm the one who uses it, it's almost like a movie film, when you can look back or make sense at the end of the movie, but when you're in the middle of the movie, or the stuff that maybe doesn't quite make sense to you. But you said, as long as that scene makes sense to you, and that that scene has meaning, then at the end of it, then you can kind of see how they all relate to each other. It's very difficult. You know, someone said, what was the meaning of life? You know, when you're, when you're, when you're in it, it's like, that's almost like to be a question, like, what is the meaning of what I'm doing now and this this part of my life, but that's that I don't know, how you feel. But that's, that was my kind of takeaway from that book, Karen Leong you know, what I've learned is the incredible human spirit. And it is one thing I want to leave people with is what I've, through the work I've done, I realized that everyone is born influential, that everybody has the capability to influence. And there's just two things we need to remember. Number one, just have the purest of intentions. And number two, be generous in giving your expertise and giving your knowledge. And when you focus on these two things, you would naturally activate the influencer with him. And that's also my mission, to help people to tap into that natural influencer. To me, it's not about learning a technique. It's actually about freeing and unleashing what's really inside such that we can do it, you know, so effortlessly. And that's actually also one of my passions. And my my main aim is to empower more natural influences worldwide. James Taylor So I'm going to ask you to finish up Africa. One of my final questions is, I want you to imagine you woke up tomorrow morning, and we say Singapore and Singapore. And you have all the skills that you've acquired over the years, all the knowledge, but no one knows you, and you know, no one, you have to completely restart your career. What would you do? How would you restart things? See, I Karen Leong know James, you like to ask very interesting questions. But it's I like it, you see if I had to completely restart everything. the fascinating thing is, you know, I, I have actually started from zero before. And now that this is my second successful business, I realized that we actually don't need anything But conviction and passion to get started. So imagine is a speaking business the best way to get started because we don't need anything to actually, you know, get up on stage and start sharing value. So I would just continue doing what I'm really passionate about and start giving, you know, giving value speaking to not for profits, helping companies with CSR, and just getting my talent. And the fascinating thing is that, you know, the more we give, the more we see the world as a place of abundance, a world of collaborators, we actually will start building a very supportive, empowering networking community naturally. So I would just simply start speaking. James Taylor So I was just saying that like in terms of giving value, one of the things you're giving value to this audience is you provided a special report which is the key to effortless influence, we're going to have a link here just below this video so people can click on that and go through and access that as well. If people want to just kind of connect with you reach out to you maybe to learn refer you for speaking opportunities or just just to connect where's the best place for them to do that Karen Leong so you know I'm available on Facebook at Karen young Connect I'm also available LinkedIn so and or just drop me an email at Karen at Karen Jones comm I'm always open to see how I could offer value connect people and really just make an impact. So you know, Facebook, LinkedIn, and email These are my three go to places. James Taylor Well, Karen, absolute pleasure speaking with you to get today I'm looking for I know we're probably going to meet up in a few weeks time I'm going to be in Singapore speaking and so we'll get a chance to kind of hang out as well. And thank you so much for coming on the summit today. Karen Leong Thank you so much. It's been such an enlightening and inspiring conversation with you. It's a pleasure to be here. James Taylor Today's episode was sponsored by speakers you the online community for speakers and if you're serious about your speaking career then you can join us because you membership program. I'll speak as you members receive private one on one coaching with me hundreds of hours of training content access to a global community to help them launch and build a profitable business around their speaking message and expertise. So just head over to SpeakersU.com to learn more. #speakersU #speakerslife

I'm not weird, I'm an intuitive personality type. What Does That Mean? What Does it Mean to be intuitive in Life, Business, and Relationships? Jessica Butts is a therapist, speaker, coach, and author. She helps female entrepreneurs with an intuitive personality type to find their strengths.  Her most recent book is “Don't Do Stuff You Suck At”. Using the Myers-Briggs personality assessment and her own Front Seat Method, Jessica dives into personality strengths and weaknesses so that her clients can be unapologetically themselves and only do the tasks that produce effective results for their time. Jessica is also the author of “Be Unapologetically Who You Are: A Journal From Jessica Butts”. The Power of Personalities Myers Briggs and the Front Seat Life Method I am an INTJ personality on the Myers-Briggs personality scale. Read more to learn what that means! An INTJ Intuitive Personality means: I for Introverted. That means I get energy from being alone, with only one or two people, and having quiet time compared to extroverts who find energy from being with other people. Jessica's Front Seat Method goes into more detail explaining that introverts can also find energy from being with other people, and extroverts do sometimes like to be alone or have quiet time. N for Intuitive. Only 25% of the population are intuitives. Intuitives think outside the box, feel like weirdos, and are unorthodox in their thinking.  People with intuitive personalities are very into self-development, think a lot about the future, do not like the status quo and typically don't function well in a 9 to 5 job, don't like routine, and always need something to look forward to. T for Thinking. A thinker makes decisions from the head and is very logical, which is excellent in business.  Only 25% of the female population are thinkers. Very few people.  In life, and business a more logical decision-maker. J for Judging. Organized, decisive decision-makers, typically on time, have a plan for their future and can get very headstrong with their plans. Jessica's goal is to get everyone back to who they innately are. Environmental factors, the way we were parented, and experiences cause us to change over time.  The more people show up as the personality type, they were born with the happy they will be, the more successful they will be, the more money they will make, and the more things will flow. The more unapologetically we are who are, the better life is. But it does take courage. As an INTJ I am kind of a nutty professor.  I like projects and researching.  As an intuitive, I am more interested in things and concepts where an INFJ is more like a therapist. The Intuitive Personality Type Intuitives are weird. We are outside the box. How can someone with an intuitive personality type fit in and feel better about themselves? Seventy-five percent of the world are S's.  When learning this fact, it's mind-boggling as an intuitive personality type to realize that you aren't weird and there is nothing wrong with you. Intuitives are experiential learners. They are often not very scholastic, who are often labeled as learning challenged because we learn differently. Everything in school is set up for S's, and N's don't learn the same. Intuitives learn by doing.  They want to engage with things and touch things.  They are very hands-on. Humans are very egocentric. We need to learn about how God designed us, how we were born, and start our businesses and relationships based on how we learn, and who we are. Don't Stuff You Suck At Being well-rounded is not practical. Certain cultures believe that is how we are supposed to be, but it isn't possible to achieve. Not everyone can do everything and do everything perfectly.  So why do we try to do things we suck at. We need to start accepting ourselves as who we are and not try to be everything. People are designed to be good at two specific things.  Good at details and data or creative, outside the box, futuristic, personal development type of things. Think of the front seat and back seat analogy.  When we are doing things that we aren't good at because we weren't meant to be doing them, it's like we are in the back seat drunk.  It isn't bragging. It's about doing the things you are good at and not wasting your time, money, or energy to do those things. When people try to do things that they aren't good at, it's like everyone in the car falls asleep and the baby in the back seat wakes up.  The baby is equal to a reptilian brain.  The reptilian brain in times of stress either flights or flees. As an introvert, the baby gets loud and bossy, and angry.  In this situation, an extrovert will flee.  They will want to be in bed and hiding and not able to show up. When we try to do things that we aren't good with, we lose energy, we aren't in flow, and it feels like walking through mud or pushing a boulder up a hill.  The result is depression and not want to get out of bed. Our front seats are where we were born and what we are meant to be. The First Step is Awareness We don't need to try to change ourselves, just recognize what we are good at and what we are not good at. Hire out the rest and contribute to the economy. It is destructive to try to be well rounded. Mindset Work is Great But we Need Action The 3 S's of Taking Action Systems Structure Singular Focus When we try to do everything, it doesn't work.  And when you sit around thinking positive thoughts, but don't put action into play, you aren't going to accomplish anything.  Action is necessary! Being an entrepreneur is not for the faint of heart. Everyone gets to be who they are, they just have to understand who they are. Don't let your life dictate, determine who you are, and take action. Necessary Action to Let Go of Control Man's Search for Meaning by Victor Frankel is an incredible resource for this topic. Victor writes that there is always a stimulus. Our personal freedom comes between that stimulus and our response. We have to realize what we don't have control over. There is no control over other people, but we can control our reaction to them. “Codependent No More, How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself” by Melodie Beattieis another book that can change one's life by helping them realize what they have control over and have no control over.  When people's lives feel out of control, they try to control other things and problems can arise in life and relationships. Learning your own personality type, learning how to self-soothe and take care of yourself, then be in healthy relationships, results in true freedom. Recognize your strengths and weaknesses, then take control to take action to do the work needed to discover your personality to adjust your life accordingly to make an impact on the rest of the world. Self-learning is very powerful and is a lifelong journey of self-exploration. Jessica's methodology always starts with who are you, where are you going, how are you going to get there? You have to have the foundation before you can move forward or everything will crumble. Don't jump ahead before you build the foundation. Don't try to get everyone to like you. Your brand is who you are and how you differentiate yourself. You aren't meant to work with everyone and if people don't like you, it's OK as long as you are being true to yourself. If people don't like you, they aren't a good fit and they'll save you so much time and frustration because they aren't your ideal audience and who you're meant to work with! The more authentic you are, the more you will attract your ideal audience and repel those you aren't meant to work with. Learn more about your host, Robyn Graham, click HERE. To learn about The Brand Marketing Insider by Robyn Graham, click HERE. Join the Female Entrepreneur Insider Facebook Group HERE. Book a Brand Marketing Strategy Session HERE. Ask Me Anything HERE. Connect with me, Robyn Graham: Website | Instagram | LinkedIn | Facebook | Twitter | YouTube | Pinterest Learn more about and connect with Jessica: Website: www.jessicabutts.com Instagram: www.instagram.com/frontseatlife Personality quiz: https://jessicabutts.com/front-seat-life-personality-assessment/

Having a vision for someone is like holding space for them, believing they can become their best self. I have a written vision for many people in my world@ They don't know I do, because it is not about them. It is about how I see them. Victor Frankel, a psychiatrist from the Nazi War Camps wrote this in his book. What you believe about someone tends to be the person they can become.Have a vision for your family and friends. Here is one vision I have for a friend. "They might live in forgiveness, and see their life as happy" I Love you. I'm Dan Clark. https://tinyurl.com/y4kropz2 --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/daniel-c-clark/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/daniel-c-clark/support

Mankind has always searched for the purpose of trials.  In this podcast, we explore an insight by Victor Frankel and what it teaches us about trials.

All right. It's Monday or Tuesday or Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. But recording this for a Monday because it's a Monday minutes episode, but, you know that cause of the intro already. Today's is going to be about setting mindset, having clarity, and being really crystal clear on what we're doing.And so today I'm going to be reading you a quote from one of my favorite books. The book is called man's search for meaning by Viktor Frankl as an entrepreneur. I think it is required reading as a human being. I think it is required reading. I've read, listened to it again two times so far in the last 10 days, I'm going to be listening to it again.And so this quote hits on a lot of levels for me. It hits on personal life, my interpersonal relationships, my business, my team, my everything, and it's really helpful to get re-grounded. And so I keep this on my desk. And so I'm going to share this quote with you, and then we're going to wrap the episode.So here we go. Ready? This is from Victor Frankel. Don't aim at success. The more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it. For success like happiness cannot be pursued. It must ensue and it only does so as the unintended side effect of one's personal dedication to a cause greater than oneself, or as the byproduct of one surrender to a person other than oneself, happiness must happen. And the same holds for success. You have to let it happen by not caring about it. I want you to listen to what your conscious commands you to do and go on to carry it out to the best of your knowledge. Then you will live to see that in the long run, in the long run, I say successful follow you precisely because you had forgotten to think about it.Wow. Every time I read that, It's really grounding and presencing for me. And so this is one of those topics in one of those things that I remind myself of often to get plugged back into presence in the pursuit of impact and a byproduct being income and success. And he nails it on so many fronts and super, super wise man, but this quote always, always gets me. And so take this throughout your day, write it down, Google it. Google Viktor Frankl quote, success quote, or don't aim at success. Find it, read it, print it out, keep it around you. If it lands in, resonates for you.And so that's today. That's another episode of Monday minute, set your direction, put it into focus, carry this for three a week. And at any moment you need to come back and listen to this again, listen to it again, listen to it all day. Like I put that book on repeat, and we'll see you guys in the next episode and always remember because sometimes I forget to say it, but it's implied at this point, relationships beat algorithms.

In Episode #16, Camille and Tanya explore opportunities for silver linings in the many challenges we are all facing this year by radically re-storying 2020.   Tanya shares a deeply personal story of her ex-husband’s 19-year struggle with mental illness and recent suicide. Stephen’s death is tragic, but it has also provided a needed release for his family and loved ones, who felt like they had lost him years ago.   From mental illness to concentration camp memoirs to activism, over-identifying with the victim or the perpetrator can cause us to lose ourselves in our trauma. When we are out of our power, we cannot help or support each other.   In the short term, 2020 may seem like the year from hell, but in the long term it may lead to needed clarity. Tanya and Camille each share what they have lost and gained this year and how the challenges of 2020 have led them to reclaim their wholeness.   “When the worst happens...there is still the opportunity for incredible blessing through connection. That's what can't be taken: our connection with ourselves and with each other.” -Tanya Taylor Rubinstein   Episode Transcript [00:00:01] Restoring the Culture is hosted by Tanya Taylor, Rubinstein Story mentor, and Camille Adair, family constellation facilitator. [00:00:11] In this podcast, these long term friends explore how stories servi lives. Their inquiry meanders into the realms of science, theater, health and consciousness, moving the individual and global narratives forward as they draw upon their relationship as the laboratory for their experiments. In truth, so many of us feel isolated and alone in our deepest longing. [00:00:38] Each one of us is necessary rediscovering the truth of our human story and listening to what is calling us forward so that we can restoring the culture together. [00:00:52] Hey, everybody, this is Tonya. And welcome back to another episode of Restoring the Culture with my dear friend Camille Adair and me. And today we are going to talk about radically restoring 20/20 and what that means to us. [00:01:11] And Camille's going to start with a little passage from Victor Frankel's man's search for meaning. [00:01:19] But in robbing the prison of its reality there lay a certain danger. [00:01:26] It became easy to overlook the opportunities to make something positive of camp life opportunities, which really did exist. [00:01:39] Leaves me speechless, right? [00:01:42] Amazing. Yeah, this speak by leaving us speechless. Sort of not unlike this year. Right. [00:01:49] There's a lot of speechlessness. And I think I mean, to think if you could find a silver lining. [00:01:56] And living in a concentration camp, surely we can find silver linings. For 20/20 with. [00:02:08] The pandemic. With massive fires, with many deaths from the pandemic. [00:02:17] With social isolation and the wave of depression that's resulting from that increased suicides. Right. [00:02:27] I mean, we can pay the the dark picture, but what's underneath it that's wanting to get our attention? I'd love to know your thoughts on that. Mm hmm. [00:02:38] Well, thanks for asking. It's such a huge. [00:02:42] Such a huge topic that we're biting off here. [00:02:46] And I just want to say to our listeners, as always, there's no dogma here. [00:02:51] There's no agenda here. [00:02:55] We just let you all in on our personal exploration, which is what Camille and I have been doing and our friendship for 20 years. So, I mean, it's it's a humbling thing. It's interesting that you chose Victor Frankl, because I have been moved to. [00:03:12] I've been rereading Elie Wiesel's night and day, also concentration camp memoirs. I'm thinking about the children at the border and concentration camps and also reading about the forced sterilization of people of color, women of color in Georgia. And you know just what's happening in this moment. Right. So I just want to first acknowledge this moment, September 20th, 2020, a couple days after Ruth Bader Ginsburg died. That being in the news also. Right. Right after Rosh Hashana. Right after Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year. So and in the midst of it all were 40, I think 45 or 46 days from the U.S. presidential election. So so why are we both being called to return to Holocaust stories now? [00:04:06] It's like. Well, I think about Steven. Yeah. If we read story, what's going on personally, right? I mean, that takes me to the personal. [00:04:15] Well, it's very interesting. So Stephen was my is my was my daughter's father, and he committed suicide. [00:04:24] This in the last three weeks ago today. [00:04:30] And he had schizoaffective disorder. [00:04:33] He was. Jewish. [00:04:38] From L.A., sort of the nice Jewish boy stereotype or a trope or whatever, but he really was that very, very brilliant and. [00:04:51] His family had Holocaust drama on his father's side. I think this is what I want to say about all of it. What I want to come back to when you asked me that question. OK. There's trauma. We are a traumatized society where traumatized culture, we're traumatized species. And I think about like the Peter Levine work about in our animal self and our nervous systems, how animals have been attending to their trauma and had because of our mindset and because of things we talk about patriarchy, white supremacy and on and on colonization, all the things that have kept us in boxes and how those things traumatize us individually and collectively. So how do we seek liberation? [00:05:44] In the camps while holding space to get out of the camps. How do rats, how do we open to liberation in the prison of our trauma? Wow. Walking our way out of that trauma to the best of our ability. [00:06:02] I guess I'm curious to know in what way have you been released from a concentration camp since Stephen died? [00:06:10] Such a great question. Well. The love was liberated. The mental illness and his trauma. [00:06:22] Played into my own trauma when I lost my daughter's father and it was in a very traumatic so circumstance and what it did was it triggered my trauma and I started getting panic attacks. I stopped performing my own. One woman shows I became afraid to speak about my life publicly onstage when that had been my art form before. And I became terrified that something would happen to my daughter. It felt life or death to me. [00:06:57] When I saw what happened to Schizophrenic's, what I saw, there was no Stephen unknown in his eyes. [00:07:05] And he was trying to strangle me on my daughter's fourth birthday. And it was that was not who he was in any shape or form. You know, I said to you earlier. He was the least racist. Most feminists that I knew about in the best sense of the word, the least homophobic, white, cis straight man I ever met. He was truly committed to social justice. [00:07:29] He had been an anti-apartheid advocate when when he was in Berkeley as a young man. And he was just so about justice and about love. But when I lost him and this is the help mental illness, when you're on the other side of it and of course, for the person is we lose the ability to access. [00:07:51] But what happened was that trauma cut off my voice. [00:07:55] And like I was saying to you, as soon as he died, there was total grief. I smashed my finger really hard that night and had to go to the emergency room the night before. He jumped that night, that same night. And I smash my grandmother's wedding ring that I always wore the diamonds into my finger and it was bleeding and had to be cut off by the doctor. And a few hours later he'd jumped and there was some kind of cosmic connection. But and I screamed when when that finger was hurt, I screamed like this, this hellacious scream that I only remember screaming twice before and once had to do with his suicide attempt before. [00:08:44] Oh, wow. So. I think we're all cosmically connected. I know it, I know it in my being. I. [00:08:55] I think the support from the other side of the veil is greater than it's ever been teaching us, showing me personally that the connection and the love is always there. [00:09:07] All the ancestral work, both you and I have done all the personal healing work. I like to come to that the love is always there and that we can move back and forth the Brit across the bridge. And I love what Victus Franco says and Elie Wiesel to a different story. [00:09:23] But this thing of the opportunity of the present moment, even in the worst of circumstances, to me that's radical radical resilience. So how in 2020, you know, the year people are calling the hell a year. [00:09:40] How can we restore it to see the incredible opportunities to be in service to each other, to love each other more at this time? [00:09:52] Well, it's interesting. As I hear you talk, one of the ways that I wonder about. This restoring for you and for me, I met Stephen. Fortunately knew him before his mental illness. Yeah. You know, set sat in. One of the things that strikes me is that you refer to him as the father of your daughter. He was your husband. And I remember that hit me when you told me that he died, that he suicided. [00:10:25] I remember at 4:00, as sad as I was for your daughter, I was sad for you because you lost a husband who you divorced only because of his mental his untreated mental illness. You didn't divorce Steven. You divorced his mental illness. [00:10:47] It's a very interesting thing you are saying. [00:10:52] And because I was thinking yesterday, I mean, I wrote something up and I said, I don't have a problem. [00:11:02] With white people, I have a problem with whiteness. I don't have a problem. [00:11:08] I never did with Stephen. I have the problem with mental illness. [00:11:11] If we can separate out the toxicity, whether it's individual or cultural, and of course, it's not just toxicity that sounds so harsh. [00:11:21] It's a byproduct of trauma. All of it. [00:11:24] Well, and because of that, every race has that trauma, which absolutely watching that makes it really hard and how we language all of this. Right. [00:11:35] It's why I'm reading this book right now, my grandmother's hands. [00:11:38] And it's about racialized trauma and the pathways to mending our hearts and bodies. And it talks about the different things we need to do if we're in white bodies versus black bodies because it's all DNA memory from our own clusters. [00:11:53] And that's different. It takes on a different tone and tenor. [00:11:59] That's right. That makes a lot of sense to me. [00:12:02] You know, just like schizophrenia takes on a different tenor than somebody who loses somebody to drug addiction or somebody who loses somebody to cancer. There's all there's a loss and all those things. But there's a different human story right attached to it, which is why, once again, the thing you and I talk about the as above so below path. [00:12:25] But yes. And Steven was my husband. He was my best friend for sure. We shared values in a profound way, which was the only reason I agreed to have a child with him. I wasn't sure I wanted a child. I wasn't one of those women that always knew they'd have a child. It was his idea. And I was 32 when I got pregnant and. [00:12:53] The love once again is released and I feel him helping me. You were the one that said to me it's like after 19 years of losing him to mental illness. [00:13:04] I got the FA. I got the other parent back. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. You have him back? [00:13:11] I have him back as the other parent. And I do want to say that was always more our natural relationship was friendship and co parent. [00:13:20] It wasn't some big love affair on either side. There was love, but we felt familial immediately when we met. We felt so deeply familial. And in many ways I'd say, yeah, definitely like co parents and best friends. And so that's the honest energy of us. And I can own the honest energy of us because I think we spent a lot of time. We had problems besides his schizophrenia. That was what took us down. [00:13:52] But there was definitely a trying to make our relationship a big love affair, and it wasn't. [00:14:01] And so there's something to about like that was conflict in our relationship that had nothing to do with his mental illness. [00:14:06] We were great co parents and best friends. And we have a beautiful daughter together, a beautiful, brilliant daughter. [00:14:17] So I wonder, what is the relationship? I mean, I'm not saying there's an answer to this, because the most profound wisdom is I think at these in these days is held in the unknown. But I guess I want to skirt the edges of an inquiry which is feeling into the relationship between covered and Stevens, the timing of Stevens death. [00:14:40] Well, then I want to hear from you. The relationship between Kofod and everything that's changed in your life because, yes, like, well, people are saying 20-20 right is the worst year, the year from hell. And I would say through the Ecos lens. [00:14:57] That's the truth. [00:14:59] I mean, from the souls lands and from the long stories lands, because that's what we're here for, right? The long story, my friend and teacher, right now, produ taffin talks all the time about the long story of the soul and all the threads past, present, future, quantum time, no matter what's going on in the body now. [00:15:23] So in the long story, I feel like 2020 is a blessing. I could never say it will be a blessing that my daughter's father was in that much pain and that he had to end his life, felt he had to end his life that way. [00:15:41] But the the liberation that I feel personally and that that knowing he is also free of that suffering, there's like I feel like there's an outbreath. [00:15:53] And I was talking with his mother about it like that we're all taking an outbreath cause and eat and, you know, like we know how the story ends now. And there's something holding with that that's so hard. I think it's a metaphor for this time. [00:16:07] The tension part of what the tension of those 19 years did teach me was holding with the tension, not knowing the ending of the story. And it's hard to hold with that tension. [00:16:22] And then the story changed, right? It didn't really. And it changed. [00:16:28] Yeah, well, it reminds me of the living dead. I mean, I think it's that way with people, you know, who have Alzheimer's or dementia. [00:16:35] Yes. Yes. People with with severe mental illness, untreated mental illness. [00:16:41] People with, you know, late stage substance abuse addiction. I think it's like the person left a long time ago. And so what you are left with is this body that is acting things out in certain ways and a voice that may still sound like them. And, of course, their soul is still there in some way. [00:17:01] But the relationship that we had was interrupted. [00:17:08] Exactly. And and they become unavailable for a long time for the relationship. And it's actually in the release of the body that the love, the availability comes back. So for me, in terms of 20/20. Right, so many deaths. [00:17:24] And I think we're seeing like. The death culture we live in, the extreme materialism, the extreme pressure on us all to do something. Be something the. My God, the struggles, you know, and where it's taken us at this moment in humanity around the big issues and that the intimacy issues. So I don't know. But I just know you have for me that there's a clarity. [00:17:59] And I have my voice back in a way, and I feel him supporting me. And so what happens? Like Victor Frankl in the camps. What happens when the worst happens? And there is still this opportunity. For incredible blessing through connection, right? That's what can't be taken if we have connection with ourselves and with each other. [00:18:26] I think that's been the silver lining for me, even though the process has been hard, very hard at times, is that it's forced me inward, right? It's like I was traveling a lot. I had a lot of ways in which I was had developed really sophisticated coping mechanisms for some things that were difficult for me to face. [00:18:46] And. [00:18:48] And we all do that. Right. I mean, it's not a bad thing. That's like kind of some part of human brilliance is that we we find our ways. Right. [00:18:56] And and then to be someone who loves to travel and loves to engage with a lot of people. [00:19:02] And then here I am. And my you know, I mean, what is it? [00:19:06] It's like maybe 14 by 14 foot office where I spend most of my time. And so it has definitely driven me inside of myself. [00:19:18] And. [00:19:20] I have to be careful, right, that I don't get lost. [00:19:23] But I also feel like, you know, we've been moving into such a different direction in our culture. Right. [00:19:31] We've been doing this inflationary move for so long around, get bigger, get louder, be more visible. Right. And I feel like something's happened for me where I'm going into this reverse place and I'm finally I'm fine. And it's happening organically. It's not been something I've contemplated. It just is happening because of the circumstances. But it's become so deep for me that it's like I'm going. [00:20:00] I'm going into almost like a gestational phase. And I think it's really good. I mean, I think that that's really the blessing of it. Right. [00:20:09] It's and it's amazing. And you and I talked about it's almost like we're like the sliding doors because I realize her to me really went small and small for me. Doesn't necessarily look like small for somebody else. Like somebody could look at me and say, that's not small, that's big. But for me, I contained for 19 years and it was a big deal when I stopped performing and felt a lot of fear about what had always come naturally to me and what I'd been trained in as an actor. [00:20:40] And I know that right now, as you're going in, my call is to show up with my team now in the world and to lean all the way and with my voice and what I learned and what I've integrated. And all of a sudden there's a congruency in my voice that hasn't been there before. There was like fragmented. [00:21:02] I had parts of myself, but I actually feel that I have my whole self back. Maybe for the first time since I was a young child. [00:21:14] You know, it's interesting when I think about because you said you lost your voice when Steven's mental illness came as to play, right? Yeah. [00:21:20] And I think that there are many ways which in which the soul can become entangled. And it's not just past and future can be in the present. [00:21:29] But it almost makes me wonder if part of you. [00:21:34] Was occupying a space with Steven. And that that's part of where your voice went, was sort of in accompanying him in a way where he was at. Like, could there have been almost some kind of an entanglement in the present moment? That isn't about time, but it is about space and conditions, right? [00:21:53] Yes, there totally was. And you're so intuitive to ask that question, because what I got. And I haven't said to anybody out loud was when he tried to strangle me because his schizophrenia had kicked in. He was looking in my eyes and tried to strangle me and kill me on my daughter's fourth birthday. Somebody had to stop driving by and pull them off. And from my point of view, there was no conflict. Then I looked in his eyes that I went, Oh, Steven's gone mad. There's no Steven there. Nobody. He didn't have his diagnosis shed. Nobody believed me. But I knew there was something that was. I'm a cop, cautious with my words here, because it's not going to sound maybe politically correct, but there was an energy in him that was very. [00:22:47] Evil. It looks like a demon to me. And I met its gaze cause it was a Steven, I met this energies gaze and. The night Stephen died, when I set my finger was smashed and I yelled. There was that energy came out of me in the scream. [00:23:14] And it scared my scared my current husband. And I felt it come through my eyes. [00:23:20] And I looked up, said like Steven looked at me and I was like some part of me. I swallowed part of the energy perhaps for him. And it was suppressing me. [00:23:35] I mean, it was wild. And then when I when I heard about his death, I knew immediately the energy that had come out of me the night before that. [00:23:44] Like in quantum time before he jumped, I was released from that energy. [00:23:50] It makes a lot of sense and, you know, it's interesting because in one of the traditions I work in schizophrenia because of schizophrenia is an identification with both the victim and the perpetrator. [00:24:04] Well, Steven told me getting back to the Holocaust, I had a very, very strong belief and a past life memory that I was put to death in the camps as a Jewish pope, Polish woman. Steven had a very strong belief that he was a guard, a Nazi guard in the camps. [00:24:24] Really? Well, what's really interesting, when we think back on Victor Frankl, he that's well, that was his sanity. Was that. [00:24:32] He didn't identify with the perpetrators. He also didn't identify with the victims. He stayed, Victor. [00:24:41] So, like, how do we remain who we are amidst all of the turmoil is happening in the world and stay ourselves when we when we identify with the victim or the perpetrator. [00:24:54] It's like we don't even recognize that we literally have stepped in to some kind of like a toxic field. [00:25:04] Perdita would call it a puddle. [00:25:07] She calls it like we step in the puddle of our issue and our ancestral issue, perhaps. And certainly for me. [00:25:15] That has happened with particularly my activist self, like Around Black Lives Matter. And my relationship to really decolonizing myself and whiteness. But there was a point when I over identified with black women's pain. And then when we when I realized when I did that I was out of my power. I was actually out of even being useful to them. And it was I was re traumatizing myself. I also wasn't in deep relationship then. And you could always tell. I could always tell on social media, like white women who are just sort of like I just want to say kissing ass to black women. [00:25:54] And they're they're out of their power. They just think, now I've got to give all my power away. [00:26:00] I can't. And when the reality is it's not an intimate relationship unless we can actually address these things and talk about them. Right. So there's so many ways, so many puddles. [00:26:13] We can step in and be outside of our integrity, around the power we do carry. And being honest about it because of our overidentification with the victim or the perpetrator. And I do think in our culture we celebrate overidentification with victimhood. It's really hard to support ourselves in each other and standing actually and owning our full power. Right. And you and I have talked about the self victim. [00:26:39] Identifying with the victim leads to entitlement and then we become the perpetrator. Right. I mean, it really is. They really are on the same continuum. Yes. They're not separate continuums. They're completely related. [00:26:51] It's a different paradigm. And they we move back and forth between victim, perpetrator and inner victim, outer victim, inner perpetrator out of victim. Right. It's a different paradigm to say I'm here. I'm here with my ancestors. I'm here. I'm right. Relationships are willing to become right. [00:27:08] Relationship with everybody. Right. I mean, and it's messy. I do want to say it's not a linear process in my experience. Right. [00:27:17] Right. [00:27:19] So what else do you want to say about 2020, 20-20, like, what is your what is your wisdom? Like, if you had to distill it of like what you've gotten so far from this year and perhaps your hope moving forward, I think. [00:27:37] One of the things that's happened for me is that I've given myself permission to really have more limitation, like in awe. [00:27:50] It's almost like the pathway to me for me to unfold in my fullness is by saying, knowing when to say no and knowing when to say yes, that there is no price like the price of leaving part of myself behind is not negotiable now. That's become a reason. And that's a real shift inside of me. That is, it's changing me. And I would also say that I've. [00:28:17] I feel like I have cut I've come into contact with the intelligence of love and not just the love between people, but the intelligence of love. And I really feel like for me, that's. [00:28:36] It's not only the gift, it's like I'm waking up to something that I've always known. Mm hmm. So what Cobbett, what the pandemic and what all of this has done for me in getting more in touch with myself is it's actually more of a remembering than a learning something new. Right. It's detaching from all the distractions that kept me, you know, spending more time on the level of persona than the level of soul. Yeah, totally. [00:29:05] How about you? [00:29:09] I think this time has really awakened me to embodying. [00:29:16] Myself and has confronted my own spiritual bypass, my desire to spiritual bypass or do emotional bypass and really land more in my body land and become more human. [00:29:35] I feel like like containment is my medicine because I've been able to express myself throughout my life despite saying I lost part of my voice. [00:29:48] That's true. And I've still been able to express more than contain. So everything is about simplicity, structure. And that's to me, the sacred masculine I'm bringing in to the relationship with the divine feminine. I'm feel. [00:30:07] Much more whole from coming through this year. [00:30:10] And and great fall like for the expiated lessons of this year, because I know we have to learn now as a species, not individually only, but as a species in quantum time, because there is no time with everything that's happening in the big cosmic narratives. And my hope going forward is, you know, one of the things I've been saying to my clients is how are we going to write news stories of the culture? [00:30:40] I think it's now about getting smaller, not bigger. And why smaller? I mean, more intimate. [00:30:48] I do, too. Hundred percent sharing our deepest, most intimate stories and making the unspeakable, unspeakable. And moving past shame. Right. That's how we're going to. Those are the news stories said the old stories. They're also the news stories going deeper in that connection. [00:31:09] Sounds like we're moving, huh? Things are moving and shifting and. As always, it's a privilege to be here. I feel. [00:31:20] Yeah, this one feels important. That's all I'll say. Mm hmm. [00:31:24] Thanks, everybody, for listening. Yeah. Thanks, everyone, for being with us. [00:31:33] Thank you for joining Camille and Tanya for this episode of Restoring the Culture. If you were inspired, we would deeply appreciate it if you would leave a review on iTunes or any other platform where you heard our podcast. For more ongoing inspiration and support, please join our no cost global Facebook community. Restoring the culture. You can support that podcast by making a donation here. And remember, we are each restoring the culture as we reach story. Our own lives. See you next time.

The man who survived the greatest catastrophe in human history- Victor Frankel. Learn his attitude which helped him survive the horrific tortures of Nazi concentration camp.

In this episode, Leah interviews her close friend and mentor Jason Sisneros, aka The Bald Avenger, and sh#t gets real AND controversial. Hold on for this one because this episode is not like the rest. Jason's stories and knowledge will have you on the edge of your seat. Get the full story of Leah getting her a** kicked by Jason, only to turn her life around completely (that's right, Leah wasn't doing the a** kicking that time) and get the inside scoop of child trafficking rescues that relies heavily on Police funding. This episode is raw and real and might put you in place, making you realize that you, in fact, are not broken. Get the All Class SUPER Pass for $2,222 HERE: https://theleahsteele.kartra.com/page/2022ALLCLASSSUPERPASS-PODCAST Find Jason on Social: https://www.facebook.com/thebaldavengerofficial/ https://www.instagram.com/thebaldavengerofficial/ https://www.facebook.com/AntonJaeGlobal https://www.instagram.com/AntonJaeGlobal/ Learn about Anton Jae Global: www.antonjae.com/getinthegame Want to know how to get further connected to all of the things in Leahland? Keep reading! Find Leah on Social Media:  Instagram: www.instagram.com/theleahsteele Facebook:www.facebook.com/theleahsteele Twitter: www.twitter.com/theleahsteele LinkedIn:www.linkedin.com/in/theleahsteele YouTube:www.youtube.com/leahsteele Join Leah's FREE Facebook group WEALTH ALCHEMY for Monthly Wealth Forecasts and all things Wealth Alchemy at www.facebook.com/groups/realwealthalchemy Get your daily dose of Leah - REAL, RAW & UNCENSORED - by joining her FREE Telegram Channel here: https://t.me/thewealthwitch For more information on Leah and her current offerings, visit her website:  www.theleahsteele.com Opt-in to Leah's email list and receive a FREE excerpt from her new book Wealth Alchemy HERE: https://theleahsteele.kartra.com/page/WealthAlchemyBook Have questions or want to hear a certain topic on the podcast?! Email media@theleahsteele for inquiries!  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Marco Lopez is a mindset coach, he works with business's and individuals within the U.S. and internationally, to quiet the noise and achieve deeper mindset changes. For more information about what Marco does visit www.mindtunenow.com 0:00 Thank you to our sponsors AM300.com/Mettle 0:12 Opening 2:07 Preston introducing guest Marco Lopez mindset coach at Mindtunenow.comMarco@mindtunenow.com 5:10 Marco talks about optimizing minds, optimizing thinking and optimizing time. 7:55 Marco talks about delegating things to the subconscious mind. 10:45 Marco talking about how to use your mind in the right way 13:01 Marco talking about what each mind is really good at. s really good at. 14:26 Preston talking about how the show was named using techniques Marco is talking about 16:58 Marco talking about keeping conscious mind calm. 18:32 Preston asks, “How do we be present in the moment?” Marco answers. 20:10 We all have mental noise, not everyone talks about it, but we all have it. 21:45 Four connections needed to move from noise to S-O-N-G. 31:37 Purpose of life is to help others. 33:10 Preston talking about how finding your WHY, and then moving forward. 39:59 Mental noise is our own insecurities. 35:37 If you want to do something good, you have to go against the force. 39:36 Talking about Victim State of Mind 41:39 Finding the Power in all situations 42:02 Victim V.S. Resistance 42:17 Marco references Victor Frankel’s book, Man’s Search for Meaning. https://www.amazon.com/Mans-Search-Meaning-Viktor-Frankl/dp/0807014273/ref=sr_1_2?crid=38LGPO4Q31NGN&dchild=1&keywords=victor+frankel+mans+search+for+meaning&qid=1598850218&sprefix=victor+frankel%2Caps%2C280&sr=8-2 42:56 Preston talking about 80% of success is being present and wherever you go, there you are. 44:54 Mentally free, tiny bit at a time. One day at a time, small successes over time. 48:07 To get in contact with Marco minetunenow.com or email marco@mindtunenow.com. 48:57 Mindset is the invisible factor under the surface. It’s not about What you say, its about Who you Are! 50:47 Marco’s 30 second message: There are two types of thinking, logical and intuitive thinking. Intuitive mind is the Gift, the logical mind does the work. 52:33 Thank you for being here, please share this podcast with someone you know who could benefit by it. You can find us on Instagram, facebook and twitter @mettlementality. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/mettlementality/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/mettlementality/support

Brandon Handley 0:00 4321 Hey there podcast land thanks for tuning in. We are taking another hit a spiritual dope and today I've got Jeremy snowed and joining me He is a dad, a granddad friend and men's mentor. He finds fulfillment being a resource a community connector. He runs a men's growth and development group Hero's Journey men's online discussion circle, and host a biannual man's three days meetup. He spends his free time discovering life hacks, physical movement and mindfulness practices. Jeremy, thanks for joining me today. What's going on? What's up? Jeremy Snowden 0:38 What's up? Thanks so much for the invitation, man. Yeah, Brandon Handley 0:41 yeah, I don't it was like, it was kind of like, it was a no brainer. You know, it was like, you know, we we've crossed paths, Facebook paths so many times, right. When I spun this up, I was like, you won't point so just you're kind of like a brother, brother from another mother right type of thing. Cuz, like, I think we're the same people. Right. Right. And and and the more we have these conversations, the more we kind of find that that's true. You and I were just talking before this about a mutual, you know, mentor that we found online. Eddie Bryant, right, who's doing who's doing some stuff. And you mentioned I just discovered on the week before, so I was like, this is just, yeah, it's fun. It's fun. And it's funny. So before we even get started, man, so before we even get started, I feel like I feel like we're kind of like, we're conduits for the creative energies forces in the universe, right? Yeah. And we're put together right now on this podcast, to speak to somebody. Right? And somebody needs to hear this, and it needs to come from you. What is it? Unknown Speaker 1:51 Man? Jeremy Snowden 1:52 Okay, so Wow, right on the spot, did you Okay, so I think more than anything else For me if I was if I was looking at the person that needs to hear this you are a human being not a human doing you know there's more to you than you know that you're at then you're aware of and just fully embody yourself No I think that would be a good Brandon Handley 2:24 I love it. I love it man right i mean you're you're you're a human being not a human doing we get so caught up. Gosh, reactivity, right all the activity although RUN RUN, RUN doo doo doo I got to be productive man. If I'm not productive, they're gonna kick me off the team. Jeremy Snowden 2:42 Right? The pressure and the stress? Yeah, Brandon Handley 2:45 yeah. Yeah, absolutely. So I love it. I love it. You're a human being. Unknown Speaker 2:51 And I think the other thing is, Brandon Handley 2:53 knowing yourself right? And when you get into this kind of the spiritual realm and And you're you're getting into all these different involve with all these different groups. Excuse me. And these conversations, the word self can take on a number of connotations, right? Come on, what do you got? So tell me what you know. So, I'll give you an example of something that I saw this morning. And it actually had to do kind of like Maslow's law, right? hierarchy of needs. And when you get to the top there, it's self expression, self actualization. Ah, true. So, I mean, you know, if I asked you what that meant to you to basically that's the pinnacle, self expression, Self Realization, what does that mean? Right? Jeremy Snowden 3:42 Wow, that's deep. For me, I guess it is finding experiences where I can be the observer, so that I can see myself clearly, you know, so depression in a wave of just that one the day that you just don't want to get out of That it just feels like your blanket is concrete, you know? And you can't explain it or anything. And so I have to, I call it father myself or, you know, work within my higher self, if you will. And almost to put my hand on my shoulder, if you will, and say, Hey, I know what you're feeling. Yeah. It's almost like it's two separate people or, you know, like my tradition. It's you know, you're a tripartite three part being spirit soul body, you have a spirit, you know, or I'm sorry, you are spirit you live in, you know, you have a soul you live in a body, you know, and now it seems like it's probably more complex and yet more simple. It's just but at any point, it's just seeing myself in those feelings, I can feel this I'm not those feelings. Right. But I you know, I can resonate with those feelings. Who's the it does that that's me. You know, you talk to yourself. A couple of days ago, I was like, let's have pizza and I was like, Who's let's Brandon Handley 5:06 good idea for us to go get these things together. And that's great though I was just I was just listening to a book this morning actually. It's called mastering your emotions and the exercises in there is is what you just talked about, right? One of those is very powerful exercise you you see you see this observer exercise actually happen a Unknown Speaker 5:26 lot in NLP, right? I'm not Brandon Handley 5:29 sure yet, right. So it's the same thing you you, you You see, first of all, you're already here right? But if you can remove yourself one or two or three times and see that situation just like you said, you know you're in that better fathering yourself. I love that because you know, as a father, you know what that means by you. Put your hand on on your shoulder, and you're going to walk yourself out there with comfort and care and say, Hey, Paul, we got this we got right. And we're gonna go face this, whatever it is. Absolutely. Right. Yeah, love that the concrete blanket man that made me feel I felt it. I felt that corps right. Yeah, man. So, you know, my tradition is what what is your tradition? Because you said my in my tradition, Jeremy Snowden 6:11 right? My historically if you will, first time I make the distinction between religion and spirituality, right. I'm not religious, I'm spiritual. Brandon Handley 6:20 Yeah, show Yeah. Jeremy Snowden 6:21 Right. Yeah. But at the same time, it was, you know, growing up in up drew up in a Christian environment, if you will, okay. And everything was about hierarchies, structures and pecking orders. It just life in general. You know, like, who makes the most money who's the cutest who's the tallest, the smartest, prettiest? Sure. Um, you know, and just that, that linear thinking like that. And so, for me, breaking out of that, I don't know if this is the proper time to talk about that or not, but basically just I was, you know, a very Launch Bible believer in you know, born again Christian you know for quite some time and while I do admire and respect a lot of my, a lot of my time there and of course my friends and my you know who become your, your family that you choose, you know? Sure it's I can see it now and you know having the whole dark night of the soul or nights or months you know. Right So, but in that I can see the need for that as a part of part of my life. So that was my background. Sure. Brandon Handley 7:31 Yeah. It's funny you say that right? Like I'm I'm not religious, but I am spiritual and I think that a lot of people get that confused. I don't have a religion. Yeah. But I am spiritual right because I think that you know, you have a religion you're not you are not religious you have it right. Like, that's your background and your your kind of upbringing and, and, and, you know, the path that you follow, and it's funny that you bring up you know, we we have Eddie Bryan and In common a couple weeks ago like i said i was first I listened to him but you know there's some he talks about Vedanta and Hinduism right and he talks about all the different paths of Hinduism and right in the end he does it sooner or later you just got to bet on one line later just got it you got it you got a bet on one Yeah. Oh it because otherwise you're just always kind of popping around Yeah. And it It's funny how I landed on the just pick one theory or idea and I got that through the science of getting rich Wallace D wattles. Right I've never read that book. I mean, it's it's my all time it's in my top five man it's such a great book. But it's like just follow just read this one book and don't read any don't pay attention to anything else for like until you This is part of your soul, Unknown Speaker 8:54 bro. Brandon Handley 8:56 I'm so sorry to dive down in that right so okay. So you're running the men's group. Let's give a little more background journey man like, I mean, let's let's do this first, I always like to talk about the front end of it, you know, what is it you're doing? Tell us about? Tell us about your tell us about the men's group, right? The hero's journey, men's online discussion circle, right? Like, how did that get started? And what's going on? Jeremy Snowden 9:21 Yeah, so almost two years, well, longer than two years ago, I connected with some guys and some Facebook groups. And I was just blown away to see what the same questions over and over and over again. You know, my wife cheated on me, you know, or my wife left me or my girlfriend, you know, yada, yada. Or we can't give a lot we can never, you know, come to a conclusion on anything or whatever. Right? And so I figured, you know, I'm throwing my opinion in this whole thing, just to see what happens to kind of see where I'm at with my peers. You know, where are we at? You guys don't know me from Adam. I don't know you from Adam. And you. It's almost like my friend of mine, Andy. You might No to he and he's just he just trolls your stuff because he thinks you're cool. You know? We can't is it silly? Brandon Handley 10:07 Yeah, yes. No, he's funny though. So he doesn't get a choice. Great troll. Yeah. Jeremy Snowden 10:12 And he's like, and he's sort of my, my spiritual project, you know, to get him to start walking along that Brandon Handley 10:20 path. Don't go to the dark side. Jeremy Snowden 10:22 Right and he's he's doing everything he can to, you know, push, push it up, push me off it but Anyway, I digress. But he says, You know, I said something about, you know, just try not to read the comments right about now with everything heated up. You read people's comments, and you're just like, oh, but he retorted and said that it's all about the comments. And really, that's that's that's community right there. Yeah, you can actually trace your community within those comments. You know, CS Lewis said it this way, and I'll get off my soapbox. He said, I mean, Brandon Handley 10:55 this is immunity. That's exactly what this is the soapbox, bro. That's why we're here. All right. All right. Jeremy Snowden 11:02 community doesn't happen until someone else says YouTube. Mm hmm. You know, and so I created an online community of people that like, we have the same kind of challenges, you know, a lot of them are still married or, or, you know, some art, you know, and the thing that we do is we use the book as an excuse a friend of mine, Stan, you can you might know him as well. Stan, Michael, he, he wants to talk to me about the law of the third's, it's very similar to this mode to Brandon is like, you know, I have this light ring. I don't know if you have a light rain, but I kind of see that as my vortex. You know, I mean, like, it's, it's almost like, if we were to practice you know, like all of the different magical traditions, if you will, where you could look through water and see spirit on the other side. That's what we're Brandon Handley 11:56 doing. You know, we're ending the evil stepmother and Mirror mirror on the wall. fairest of them all right. I mean, come on somebody that stops everywhere, right? Like, here's the thing, like, here's the thing is what's so great about like this space is like, once you realize you tripped over into it, you're like, Oh, it's everywhere. Everybody's been trying to tell me my entire life. Jeremy Snowden 12:16 Come on. Right? Right on your face, right? Brandon Handley 12:20 Mm hmm. I mean, we'll cliches and you know, stuff. Your parents told you that you said, Nah, shut up. Stop. You're crazy. Don't talk to my friends. Right? It's everywhere. I was I was on the plane, coming back from Denver. And I was watching the Madeline L'Engle movie with Oprah in it. A stitch in time, A Wrinkle in Time, Wrinkle in Time, man. And it was everything you and I are about and I was like, I was taking notes like furious. I was like, oh, brah Oh, Oprah, not again, more Oprah right um, Mirror mirror on the wall. Right, just like yeah, that's the vortex that's looking looking, looking looking. piercing the veil, right? Jeremy Snowden 13:06 Yes. I'm Brandon Handley 13:09 with you. Yeah, tell me more. So Hero's Journey hero's journey. Tell us all Batman. Jeremy Snowden 13:14 So it's very similar, right? You could see these different themes in everybody's lives. We're all living the same life. Brandon Handley 13:21 Suddenly, let's talk about the things right, let's talk about let's talk about the hero's journey. Because if you're not familiar with it, who's it come from? Jeremy Snowden 13:31 Joseph Campbell, is a mythologist very wise man who did research to be able to see these common themes and all stories Star Wars, right? Um, Brandon Handley 13:45 gosh, went nuts. Oh, so if is he recently like that went went went when was he? You know, I do know some history on him. But I you know, I'm not this is not a test. But I want I want I want people to hear from you. I was like, Unknown Speaker 14:00 No, kind of monopoly, Jeremy Snowden 14:02 probably circa and I can look it up too. But probably circa 1950s around that time, I guess Brandon Handley 14:09 so he predates he predates Star Wars and all that Jeremy Snowden 14:13 stuff, right? For sure. For sure. And yeah, just pulling him up here just as a nerd Brandon Handley 14:18 with rain. Sure, man. So, before, Jeremy Snowden 14:21 right so yeah, he was born. Right so 1904 so in died 1987 So, yeah, he was an inspiration to Steve Lucas. Is that right? I'm not a big Star Wars fan but Lucas. Lucas right, George There it goes. I think he's towards. I'm showing my own coolness right now to some of your audience. Yeah, but anyway, um, he just really, you know, well, it says he was influenced, for instance by Nisha Christian Judy Krishnamurti. Carl Jung. I mean, just Schopenhauer. I mean, like he basically canonized The concept of you know that the departure, the initiation of the hero, and the return, you know, and with each and there's got subsections and all that you could read on it, of course online. But it's just that we have the same story except I think in my mind's eye, I'm thinking what you talked about Maslow's hierarchy of needs kind of the same thing. You know, I'm saying there's, there's levels to this shit. Brandon Handley 15:25 Right, right, right, though. Absolutely. Jeremy Snowden 15:27 And unfortunately, we talked about it earlier, maybe some people this round just don't want to get it. Brandon Handley 15:32 Well, there's a there's a section in the story, right is some people reject the hero's call, right? Because the beginning there, right? is is is okay. And and here's, you know, if you want my take on it, which you're not asking for, but I'll give it to you. Ain't on me. Right. So we've got the hero's journey. Then there's, there's the call of the hero, right? That's when you're when you and I are in this journey, we felt something I mean, so overwhelming that if you didn't do it, something inside you died. Yeah. Right if you don't and that's so that's the that's the hero's call, right? The hero's call is, is there's something Unknown Speaker 16:17 within me that if I don't share it, Brandon Handley 16:21 if I don't help to give this away Unknown Speaker 16:24 within my lifetime I may as well stop now. Right? Yeah. Brandon Handley 16:29 So you feel that and then you have a couple opportunities to say Nah, fuck that I'm gonna go have a beer. Right? Right and so you can sub you can sub do that in a number of ways. And and I'm not sure if you ever watched the series on Netflix it's called the umbrella factory. And and what I realized by watching the umbrella factory was there's one girl on there I'm not not to give away the whole plot, but like she was subdued her entire life from her innate superpowers. By medication, right Though, you know, to what where I'm getting there is is like a religion, ad. You know, people who my grandmother was diagnosed as schizophrenic now, we didn't have like we weren't super close, but the question begs to be answered. What's your medium? Yeah, right. Right. And and there wasn't, there wasn't the space in the place, then that we've got now available to allow for that. Yeah, to explore that, which is I love where we are now. So, to me, the hero's call is just that right? There is something within you, right? And if you if you don't answer that, you've got to suppress it. And that's when you start to kind of each time because it's going to be it's going to come more than once. It's gonna keep coming right there every, every moment in your life is kind of an opportunity for that hero's call, right? Yeah. And if you don't answer that You're gonna wither away and die. Yeah. Yeah, that's my take on it. Jeremy Snowden 18:04 What do I think that's wonderful man, that's, that's really good. I love this volley. Plain and simple is because that's how I grow. You know, for the longest I looked around to people that were in suits on Sunday morning, and it's like, you guys can't bring the fire here What's going on? You know, and I was like, there's got to be more. And it's not that they weren't good people. It's just that sometimes when we put constraints on our, our faith or our religion, whatever it is, right, it's, it's we kind of like it's like, I used to lead worship, you know, so and I love worship music. But it was like, only part of the dance and when I when I when I stepped down from that, if you will, and began to sit down on my back porch, right, and, you know, dance in front of the moon. Nobody else is around. It's just me and God. So everything outside of my body is dancing with me. It felt more authentic. Then, you know, playing and although I still play music I still love. I still love worship music but it seemed that I was, you know, we could we following a rigid tradition didn't allow me or spirit for me to be able to just blossom it just kept me in this kind of in a confined space so sure, sure kind Brandon Handley 19:21 of like kind of like I mean, if you think about a tangle of roots and in a confined space in a box, right, like I mean, there's just Unknown Speaker 19:29 nowhere to go. Brandon Handley 19:30 Yeah, okay. Well, I mean, it's fair, but I'm just curious too, because all right, look, you've got this group you're doing you're and you're and you're walking them through, like the hero's journey, right? So I stopped everybody here for a second at, you know, rejecting the call. So what happens when you answered a call is you know, take me there. Right? Jeremy Snowden 19:48 Well, I mean, first off, and I know this different for everybody. I mean, number one is when i don't know i don't get probably the same thing. Granted, it's like even the cashier will start telling me about it. Marriage, you know, I'm saying and it's so it's like you know, I gotta also safeguard my energy at the same time but it's like working with guys that are like somes kind of like a little off and I need some just help. What they really need is just somebody to walk with them that second phase right, which is the initiation right percent, right. So it's, it's and it's it's Simba or I'm sorry. It's symbols friends. Timonium, Puma. Yeah. Cool. Brandon Handley 20:30 Right. So now saying that the other day I don't even care. No. Jeremy Snowden 20:34 Yeah. And then you have her freaky, right, the monkey that shows the bigger picture, if you will, right. And then the mentor Right, so the mystic, mystical mentor. There you go. And that's where I mean again, that the hero's journey arc works Yoda all stories, right. There you go. Right. Go. So walking with them is it for me at least it's as much as just for saying I see you. Yeah, I see you. And he's like, looking at you now. Right? You've done it. Unknown Speaker 21:06 I'll tell you Brandon Handley 21:08 that, that that saves me. when when when, you know, when that happened to me, I was like something was a little off. And I had to reach out to, you know, three, three people, three different people. And I was like, Unknown Speaker 21:21 I don't know what's going on. Yeah. Brandon Handley 21:24 I'm not losing my shit, but I'm not quite right. I just thought I'd let you guys know. Right? And at same time also reached out to a Buddhist Reverend friend, right? I said, Hey, here's what I'm feeling. And he goes, you're cool. I was like, working with them. Right. But to your point, this is a little over three years ago. The I had the exact same feeling of, hey, look, I want to be the greeter. Right? Kind of like a scarecrow in The Wizard of Oz. Unknown Speaker 21:58 Right. Yeah, yeah. Unknown Speaker 22:00 We're gonna cross paths you're gonna cross paths or paths are gonna interweave. You're on the way to Emerald City. I'm sure I'll walk along with you for a while. Jeremy Snowden 22:08 We're off to see the wizard. Right. Yeah. Right. Yeah, Brandon Handley 22:11 yeah, so exactly the same. Yeah. Tell me more. Jeremy Snowden 22:14 Yeah. So a lot of the times, it's, it's a matter to, I mean, it's just us watching them as kids, we had invisible friends. Right. And then we're told, well, that's stupid, you know, but I think that they serve whether they were real, you know, if you can, if you if you accept, you know, spirits or demons or whatever, if you go along that track are whether they are just an aspect or element of our own spirit or mind. You know, however you see it, they serve a purpose, you know, and one of those is to, to watch, like, you know, again, is my tradition. It's like, there are such things, it's watchers, right? Have you noticed a lot of paintings that people do when they're shrooms are a plant medicine. There's a lot of eyes around the eyes have it? Sure. So, you know, sometimes people just need you to be their spotter, you know, as they're going through that stuff. You don't need to have. Brandon Handley 23:15 Yeah, you listen, you Listen, don't trip by yourself on the first time, right? Like everybody knows that. I'm just saying, right? Like, it's, it's, it's very similar though, right? Like, you know, you want to be in a safe place and especially when you're in a vulnerable condition such as an awakening or such as like, you know, especially look men are just as vulnerable as anybody else. I I believe, more so because if they're going through the, you know, the call to hero, right. And they don't know where to turn. Most of us haven't been prepared for this. Yes. Right or don't recognize, right don't recognize that they've been prepared for now because I'll I would also say that due to the Your religion, you were able to put things into some kind of framework. You're like, you know what, holy shit. there's a there's a story in the Bible that lines up to the scene that I'm going through right now, what was the outcome? And you could you can say in your mind, right, this was the outcome. What does that outcome really mean, though? Because that outcome no longer is, is this kind of this story, right? No, this is no longer like, you know, you know, the walls of Jericho, just falling down what, you know, what was that story? If I could put that into modern language, right, I circled it, you know, XYZ times. And, you know, is that a story of patience and perseverance of you know, and that's what this really meant, right? And that's what I'm experiencing. Sure. Is, did you have that? You know, is that how you kind of translated your, is that what made it easier for you or was it is it a journey that kind of like really set the tone for you? Jeremy Snowden 24:56 Right, right. Well, it was, I guess, It was a mixture of both. So as you were sharing, I was like, dude, I'm I'm letting him go, because this is really this is solid meat here. This is about where I'm at. So it came to a point where and I won't go into that on the just because for time sake, but, you know, I was going through my dark night of the soul if you will season right. And I just realized I need to zoom up a little further and not just assume that text, no offense to anybody else, any text. Okay, so across the board for me, if it does not resonate with my heart, I just can't receive it. Right. Right. So if I can apply it because I think it's wholesome, right? I mean, I All scripture is given for admiration and for admonition and examples for us and got out and I believe that they're good. They're good stories. Some of them don't apply the way that I was told they applied. And so I have to, you know, observe them as the self Right, yeah. As it's just like, you know, looking at your kids candy, I hate to, you know, make the word candy, you know, I'm saying but it's like, you know, when you're at Halloween, you're just checking get your, you know, you get your fill of Reese's Pieces that Brandon Handley 26:14 you find those passwords don't need all those candy. Jeremy Snowden 26:18 But, you know, I had to I had to scrutinize each thoughts, you know, of any any text. So that's why I'm listening to, you know, Edwin Bryant right now. And, you know, the yoga sutras of Patanjali. It's because there are words there. They're, what three 5000 years old. And he is explaining them and I even have to scrutinize him for myself for my own personal self right now. Not out loud, right? I'm Brandon Handley 26:48 good. Jeremy Snowden 26:49 All right, all the greats I don't I just, I've come here on the same dispensation and it's my responsibility to unpack it. You know, there's a difference. I put it this way. There's a difference. belief and faith, right? And it's like, yeah, was that media? Yeah. So like faith is all scripture calls faith substance. Right? It's a substance. Okay? Right. Whereas belief seems to me to be just an ideology, you know, and it's like, sometimes we mistake I have in the past mistakes as interchangeable. But then when my ideology falls apart, that's when your faith has to come alive. So that's what happened. Okay, so when, when that happened, because of the dark night of the soul, right, I decided to investigate and search things to see if they're actually what they really are for, for my own selves. Brandon Handley 27:43 And describe, like dark night, a soul a little bit. So for somebody that, you know, that feels like they've been through it, or you know, or what does it mean to you because I think that that has a different meaning to people to Unknown Speaker 27:55 write. Jeremy Snowden 27:58 I think it's part of this The Hero's Journey story arc, if you will, in the dragons, the the bankruptcy, the divorce the, you know, the difference stimuluses that caused the response in you? Is it parallelisation? Like, I've been there, like, you know, where you're just paralyzed, you don't know what to do. It was Wednesday, like, a day ago, and now it's, you know, Sunday morning or whatever, you know, you just kind of lose track of everything. It's best. That's my own personal experience. I don't really cry a lot. It's not. Brandon Handley 28:31 I mean, is it like a depression point? Is it a focal point? Do you have to kind of hit? Jeremy Snowden 28:38 Okay, so, very similar to what you said. It's like, Is there a diagnosis for it? That is actually right. Or do we just what is what we call depression? Right? Yeah. Is it? Is that Unknown Speaker 28:54 the call? Sure you Jeremy Snowden 28:57 believe so. You know, think it's thick. Right, and they have to withdraw themselves and and heal themselves or not you know and so you know I kind of think that ladder it's yeah I think you're right my mom actually was kids phrenic and we her and I lived with her demons you know as her behavior is powerful Brandon Handley 29:21 I mean how do you look at that now? Jeremy Snowden 29:25 Yeah so i i i don't know in terms of we've I guess my sisters and I've we've we've had that those conversations is a demon is a devils that are like literal doubles. Is it just the serotonin synaptic gaps and durose transmitters that blah blah, you know, misfire Listen, listen to I mean, there's always there's always a science psychology about it, right? Like I'm right. And that's, that's frustrating, right? Because you can science away just about anything you want. Right? Brandon Handley 29:56 Let's talk about it from let's talk about it from just your You know, your own life experience perception, your own human words? Know what's out. You know, if you're looking at that right now, like I said about my grandmother does that, you know, all right, well, Was she a medium? Was there something was she in contact when you got plenty of people that say I talk to angels, you know, is there something trying to communicate through her and it was a matter of if she had had the right teacher or teaching. It could have been just tremendous power that could have brought good into the world. Unknown Speaker 30:31 Sure. Jeremy Snowden 30:33 Isn't that crazy, too? And could it be I mean, and rest are soul. It could it be that she denied the call? Brandon Handley 30:42 Don't so that's the thing, right? If you don't, if you're not, Unknown Speaker 30:46 so, for me, a lot of this is already like my first language. Brandon Handley 30:54 I was raised this way like my mother was I was born out in San Francisco. My mom was like, I mean I picked up the exact same eaching book. She got like, I'm stupid, retarded. Like, I mean, everything she ever said is like, I'm like, Oh my gosh, she was right. Right. and and, and and like, I mean, yeah, you know, I brought up Alan Watts with her and she's like, Oh yeah, I remember seeing him in San Francisco, Alan. Know. And so, so when I experienced all this stuff, I kind of had a background in it right. I was like, Jeremy Snowden 31:29 nice. It was almost like I'm Brandon Handley 31:34 falling into like, down comforters. Wow, you were just like beautiful gowns. You know, like, wow, I was like, Man, this is a great place to be. Yeah. How can I explain to everybody else where I'm at, right like, I mean, and and do it in a way and that's part about this podcast, right? How can you know a big part of it's okay, great. It's cool. You feel that way, but How can you apply that in? Yeah, practicality, right? And so, so you're doing that in your group, right? you're grabbing these men. And you're saying, All right, we're cool here. This is a safe space. Here's what you're going through, and you're using the hero's journey to walk them along the journey. Right? Jeremy Snowden 32:19 So through the challenges of everyday life through divorce or whatever. And also like, like, in my case, for instance, which in the hero's journey Ark, my dragon was hell. I mean, Holy moly, right. I mean, like, if I'm wrong, I can get a, you know, you know, don't collect $200 go directly to hell, you know, find stamped and it's your own. It's your own damn fault, Jeremy, because I'm now seeking things or allowing things or understanding things that are contrary to my upbringing, if you will. So that was my that was that was that I was just so afraid. You know what What people are gonna think, you know, how people are gonna act toward me, now that I'm able to hold space for a wizard, if I wanted to, you know, I'm saying, you know, or somebody else, it's all welcome here. Brandon Handley 33:11 Sorry. I'm sure the reference behind that. I don't even know, man, I'm just you know, let's just like it's just like, hey, like, you know, all are welcome. Nobody's kind of kept out. Right. And so that's kind of what you were you're talking about. Right? Jeremy Snowden 33:25 Right. But it was because I hit that firewall and push through it, you know, and what if I can give? Can I give a brief example, dude? Yeah, absolutely. Please do. So a couple of years ago, I did plant medicine over at a Native American church. Right. Okay. And I was like, for sure. This is the thing that sends you to hell Brandon Handley 33:45 right here, for sure. Was that the first time you've ever done plant medicine? Yes. Yeah. Okay. What is plant medicine? Jeremy Snowden 33:53 Well, I guess. I think I guess that's not exactly true, but From a vantage point of hallucinogenic as a medicinal Brandon Handley 34:04 right for medicinal purposes well yeah as originally intended Jeremy Snowden 34:09 one could argue that marijuana is plant medicine. Sure. Absolutely. Talking about that about and I westca no it's the it's the South American route that is extracted created into a tea you drink it shit yourself, etc etc. Brandon Handley 34:24 There's nowhere to go a little declare. Gives you as Jeremy Snowden 34:29 many Doritos as you want. You're like, absolutely Brandon Handley 34:35 good exchange. Jeremy Snowden 34:36 So, you know, in my mind's eye, I was like, I mean, I changed my will before I went in you know, I mean, it was I was thinking this I prepared with intentions, etc. about it. I meditated and prayed on it, and then I, you know, I went in, put your money down. That's where it's at, right everywhere. So I'm in of course, I won't go into the experience right now, but The thing is, is that things that I seen made sense to me. Yeah. It makes sense to me in a way that maybe the things that I've read didn't make sense to me. Sure. I didn't change my religion, or if you will, so much as it it really helped me to open my spirit, if you will. Everybody should do it, because it was a trip and a half and it was a heavy deal, Brandon Handley 35:24 you know, about no doubt. Well, but I mean, look, I it's kind of like, um, it's kind of like the the walls are already weakened. And that just, you know, that just Unknown Speaker 35:37 positive in a damn Jeremy Snowden 35:39 right. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. You know, it didn't make me better. It didn't make me a better father or husband or getting married or anything. It just changed you. Exactly. I mean, let's just, even if you look at it from a purely scientific standpoint, you know, where it was the who's hallucinogenic. It's, you know, It was legal the way that I obtained it the whole nine yards. So I'm pretty certain that but it's, you know, I'm just Brandon Handley 36:06 waiting for the address at the end of the show. Jeremy Snowden 36:14 Well, but the thing that if you just look at it from a scientific point of view, where it's just a hallucinogenic that, you know, responded to your nervous system, creating a sense of euphoria and blah, blah, blah, colors, right, good shit. It was right. Nonetheless, it wasn't really about the experience, right? Because it really is about the outcome. Really, right. Yeah. I, this experience is a great, everybody's got it. Right. You know, Brandon Handley 36:44 you take it, I mean, look at me, it's, it's, it's, you know, everybody's got experiences, right? It's, it's not that you don't have the experiences How do you translate those experiences? And that's, that's really the outcome, like so it's it's every, you know, You know, my wife has never done any hardcore drugs, or drugs. I don't think she's ever smoked a weed or maybe she took a hit, but like, she never was like, hey, let's sit around all afternoon and like smoke his bowl, like, Oh my God just filled the bottled water, right? Like she never hung out did all that, but like, um, you know, she'll have some drinks and whatever. But so she's had experiences that she's had. And I've had, you know, plenty of experiences similar to one I just outlined and much rougher and tougher. And she looks at my life like, wow, you went through some shit. I'm like, it's not. Everybody's gone through some shit. It's somebody translate that how do you? How do you take your stories, and empower yourself? Because what we've done though, historically, and I think this is part of what you're teaching your men and working with your men is take these stories and your experiences, and empower yourself. And that's kind of the pinnacle of the hero's journey is that my writers? Tell me more. I'm talking way too much. Yes, Jeremy Snowden 37:56 this is the collaborate. I think it's great but the return That's the final third of the hero's journey the return when, you know King off, Arthur is able to pull the sword from the stone where Simba grabs the courage to be able to, you know, go and get his bride and defeat his uncle and circle and lie, you know. So. So it's it's again, it's it's, it's the, it's the return and for me, it's like well, we started at the, you know the departure like with some some of my guys, we started the departure, and I don't determine that for you. Like, I'm very careful not to try to dictate what I see God as for someone else. Yeah, you can't. Right. Right, right. Yeah. That's right. Brandon Handley 38:42 So that's what that's what it is frustrating. Um, and that's the product it's frustrating but it's also the problem because you Yeah, it's uh, if you say you know, God, then you don't know God type thing, right? Like because Unknown Speaker 38:58 you can't, you can't Brandon Handley 39:00 Put that into words. If you've gotten that kind of the first place that this kind of dawned on me experiences can't be translated they must be experienced was a de five rings book. If you've ever read that, right? Have you ever read that? That Samurai? Oh, yeah. And I was just beginning Jiu Jitsu at the same time, but like he would be talking about like, you know, kind of these different sword moves and swords, spots and spaces. And he can tell you how to do the moves, you can watch how to do the moves, but it's not until not only do you go try to do the moves, when you nail the move, and you get it right, then you know, you've just executed it correctly, right? You're like, wow, you know, because it'll be just a muscle here or muscle here and change and adjustment angle here or there. That makes it all work, right. So minor, minor adjustments, but when you nail it, you've experienced it. And that's all you can tell somebody like you'll know when you get it. Right, you'll know when you write like algebra and fractions. Jeremy Snowden 40:05 Yeah. Oh, and you're like, bingo. Yeah, I got you best nine years of my life. Brandon Handley 40:16 So, so you're running this group, you've been running this group for a while now. Right? And and you're, you're ramping up. You want to expand my right or wrong. For sure. Yeah. Let's talk about that. Tell me what's up. Yeah. Jeremy Snowden 40:31 So because of my experience of divorce seven years, and just when I was able to kind of release that yoke of what my reality was, or when I created as far as my story, and then realize I used to be, I used to be a husband and a father, then it'd become, you know, an ex husband. I changed roles right. And then the kids stopped calling me because they were certainly going off to high you know, High School in college. So they respect Less than less. And it's like so now I'm not even a dad. And so it you know, although I was technically Of course, you know, when they needed something specially, but and and it's just part of their journey they're they're doing what they need to do as well. But it really caused me to be up to to look inside to make it happen. And so that's sort of what I'm approaching other guys that are just having those questions right now. You know so Brandon Handley 41:26 the question is, what is what are some of the trigger questions you hear and you're like, you're like, you're like I know it. I know you need me. Right, I can help you. What are those questions? Jeremy Snowden 41:35 Well, the key the key word that I listened for should back in my Bible days, Hey, have you been reading your Bible? Not as much as I should? Sure. Yeah. Are you exercising not as much as I should? It's like, why don't you design a life for yourself when you fully embody yourself? And so you know, whenever I hear those kind of things like should how things are supposed to To be or ought to, if they're open if people are open to it, and again, it's a matter of audience, right? I don't know who, who needs me. I'm, I'm just opening myself to do. I'm doing a 21 day kind of a challenge. It's really not about the 21 days. It's not about doing activities, although it is it's just about someone watching you through your journey as you're developing. So those dark days where you don't want to get up and you get a text from me that says, you're making your bed right and you're doing your five push ups. Put a thumbs up when that's done, holler to you later. Peace, right? It'll put a smile on your face. It'll make you it'll make you do it even though you don't want to do it. It's valid. Right? It's just it's it's billion dollar that they already have. Sure. Brandon Handley 42:44 Yeah. That hasn't been on hasn't been hasn't been bolstered. Right. It hasn't been supported. It hasn't been encouraged, Jeremy Snowden 42:52 right? Um Brandon Handley 42:55 I would you know, I would stop were we talking about it. I'm Sure you Unknown Speaker 43:00 flow, the book flow, you bought a book Brandon Handley 43:03 is it in his book where he talks about and I think it is in his book where he talks about like, you know, some of the older cultures like in China and Oriental cultures, they cultivated the sense of being, right. They cultivated, they were cultivated people. And we get the sense of and you know, when we say, oh, that person's cultivated, we this we think aristocratic, we think money, wealth, and all these other things, but know, what he's talking about is they've cultivated that inner sense of being right. They've cultivated that, you know, stoicism and applied it and it's internalized, right. That's, that's, that's, that's, that's what they've done. And that's what we haven't done. Right. So that in a Western culture, right, you know, and, and, and I'll throw this other one at you too, because I keep kicking it around. You know, adulting is hard, but you know what, the full word is adulterated. We've been adulterated and changed, right? There's this change and transition. So adulting being adulterated. When we go through this metamorphosis. It's a it is a challenge. And if you don't have people like yourself, myself, I'm there to catch you as you come in or greet you, right? I mean, the officer into the church is there to greet you to welcome you like that. Right? It's You're welcome here, come into this place where you're welcome. And and and be prepared to hear some stories that if you're, they're no longer pearls before swine, right, that they're no longer pearls before swine, like, these are all the stories that are now before you that after you cross this threshold of understanding, you get now you're like, Ah, yeah, because you can't you I think we're talking a little bit about this earlier. It's like you can't go to people who haven't already had the experience. Tell them about the experience, and have them ready to accept it because It sounds unreal. Unknown Speaker 45:02 That's right. Right. But the beauty is Brandon Handley 45:08 we've got, you know, Vedanta Hinduism, all the stories from you know, the the writing to your pata shots. But I mean even, you know, the the cuneiform Egypt lives this, these are not and this is this is what you're talking about though these are not new feelings. These are not new questions. These questions have all been answered before. Yeah. But they've been answered by generations before us who had other experiences to reference around them. Right. And we've got to do that now. We've got to retranslate those stories into a language that somebody else can understand. Jeremy Snowden 45:46 And more or less one that resonates with our just tacking on for me, it's like, yeah, yeah, right. It's not something that I'm parroting anymore and not that you're living it. Brandon Handley 45:56 You're living, you're living it, you've embodied it. It is now internalized and when you express yourself, self expression, your inner self. Right? That's what's coming out. It's like the Wayne Dyer thing, right? You know, if you put nothing if you're an orange, essentially right, the only thing it's going to come out of you is orange juice because all you've been putting in you is pouring right? I mean for you, all you've been putting into yourself is like this love, right? I've been putting into yourself Is this just the story and your understanding and you've been working on yourself? You've been cultivating yourself so that you can Unknown Speaker 46:31 share so that you can get Yeah, yeah. Jeremy Snowden 46:34 You know, I find that a lot of guys and again, I work in more in the manned space than I you know, I've got of course you know, lots of Lady for fret friends that are women but I pretty much in the man's face in terms of self development. Um, and maybe that's just more I'm just that's how I'm wired. You know, I there's a lot of common, there's more commonality, so for sure, but you find that a lot of guys have been motivated and burdened by shame. Okay, it's, it was the, it was the tool that drew the you know that trival drove him to school, it was the tool that kept him in line. It's the and then all of a sudden, you know, and that's where I'm thinking, Man, if people are feeling sensing that on the regular, something's not right, your, your, your, your heart is as a as a and this is just my experience, if your heart is just pushes that way, it's like it feels it and it pushes it away. And so sometimes people use excessive alcohol or drugs or whatever, you know, to, or eating or whatever to be able to mask that. But that's just, that's just the symptoms, you're just cutting leaves off the, you know, the, the weed or whatever, you know, but it's going to continue to grow. It's just going to be there until you find a way to be able to not even address it, but address yourself. It's okay. You know, it's alright, man, everybody makes mistake, I really do it in my there. And just going through that process of not, you know, that self talk process to bring really an impact besides the story, the stories and outside thing, which some of it was true, some of it happened, a lot of it didn't. And you replayed it, you know, 90,000 times every day over the last 20 years or whatever. So I think that's why people need to have other people it's not just by my coaching, you know, video, you know, whatever's and you will be a millionaire too. It's, hey, so was it hard brushing your teeth this morning, man. You know, you look tired, like doing a video. You know, like how when you do video with people. Brandon Handley 48:49 So, you know when I chatted with a doctor who was helping men Go through depression, right? She was actually working on, you know, men who are suicidal, right? Trying to get them help, right because her brother had had done this himself. And so she made that kind of her life's work Unknown Speaker 49:15 column Unknown Speaker 49:22 for three, to one more back. Brandon Handley 49:27 What are some, like, you know, applications of kind of what we're talking about there, right? Because it sounds to me a little bit like, you know, using the observer as a tool, right? That's what it was right? So she would she would say, hey, with men, right? They want to try it first. They want to try to do it on their own first and so she would offer them a toolbox. Do you offer your guys like a toolbox? Beautiful. Jeremy Snowden 49:49 I think that the the book study in itself is that toolbox like resource, and it's really not me. It's the other guys I mean, we get on a zoom call. We talked about You know, like, right now we're doing Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. Right? Great ground, the great book, right? Yeah, nothing wrong with that. And we're just going through it and what we're doing, we're talking the language to each other. So I use that as a toolbox. I mean, plain simple is people guys always say it's so hard to be able to be a part of a men's group. Well, the men's group is, you know, your bowling league, if it's the right guys, you know, or, you know, the people that you you know, whatever, you know, hike with or cycle with, that can be a part of your men's group. So it doesn't have to be an officially sanctioned thing. So that's my that would be my tool, my toolbox and you know, then I work on work with people one on one, you know, we do the, the hero's journey men's circle, just that's, that's what I do. That's what I do for my life, not for a living. So I'm charging for I probably never will. It's just a way to be able to have these conversations because if you think about it, in Spanish, everybody's taking Spanish, one Spanish To write, and none of us can even order from the taco truck. You know, I'm saying, why is that? Well, because we didn't get a chance to practice it. Right? So when you're reading a book, a really good book, and then you're talking to somebody about it, like what you and I just did, you know, in the hero's journey, you broke it down. I was like, amen. Amen. I was like, Wow, dude. So, you know, and then she's talking about it. What does it do? It solidifies my ideas. It helps you to contrast them against yours. Sure, not for the not for the cause of debate. You're a stranger you're hearing you know, Australia or whatever. I know you're not but you know, I'm saying Brandon Handley 51:35 but actually, I heard there's a lot of spiders there the other day and we don't want to be in Australia. So Unknown Speaker 51:40 Crikey there goes that cranky. Brandon Handley 51:42 But I was like, they all said it with kangaroos and platypus and koalas. Unknown Speaker 51:47 100% Brandon Handley 51:50 The it's also funny too. Are you able to do me a favor man. Take your camera and swirl it around and rattle off some of the books that Unknown Speaker 52:01 Like well now, right? Yeah. Jeremy Snowden 52:05 Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. The Millionaire Next Door right I know that you got that. First things first time traps Elements of Style as far as writing I think you and I think Brandon Handley 52:16 that's where we like that's where we that's where we hit off right like we really don't know. Yeah. Jeremy Snowden 52:23 One minute to do list Heidegger Martin Heidegger, you know, basic writings pemuteran john, which is great, right? I never saw you're not so smart. It's more just a analytical book. You got some Seth Godin represent, right? Yeah, check this Unknown Speaker 52:38 out says one way book man. For sure. Right. Jeremy Snowden 52:42 Right. So of course Four Agreements represent right. The Alchemist over there while the heart by john Eldridge. Hmm. You know, so, uh, I hate to say I'm well read, but I'm just not. Unknown Speaker 52:57 So. I think Brandon Handley 52:58 I think the other thing you hit on there too. is, you know, it's not just reading these books, discussing them and applying them. So otherwise it's a it's what they call shelf esteem. Whoo. Right. Right. You know, what good is it doing it? Yeah. Great. You read all the books. What out of that particular book did you love right? Or you know, if you want to, you know, we'll talk about I talked about high fidelity and the crown a lot, you know, not the chronological order but how you got from how I got from like, you know, blondie, you know, Tomic in 1981 to shatter herbs and Rolling Stones like got into like a you know, man who's right out to that like a talking heads you know, it's always the same, it's the same right like I could tell you a chronological order how I made these brownies and and and the songs and how they made me move. right and and and and what I took out at that time, what was my heart feeling? Same thing with the book. So right like, What? What inside of that book made? What was the? What about that book made you move? What about that book made you change? What changes did you make? Because you've read that? Unknown Speaker 54:18 Yeah. Right. So, um Brandon Handley 54:23 what are some like great applications that you would give some people from any one of those books include Unknown Speaker 54:32 include include call heroes, you know, hero's journey. Wow. Jeremy Snowden 54:37 Um, well, again, I think that the the hero's journey is a template for your entire life and it can happen so quickly right in different areas and aspects of your life. So it's not just a one time winner takes all you know, it's it's you got to go through this story again, it's just a different story. Like, like my kids, they went vegan, right. And I was thinking in my mind Amway is next. Unknown Speaker 55:05 This only leads to one place. Jeremy Snowden 55:08 Now, you know, no, not necessarily, but it's just that we all go through face to face. Yeah. All right. Have you been born again yet? You know, are you Unknown Speaker 55:16 sure? We go through the? Yep, yep. Yeah. Jeremy Snowden 55:20 So, um, I think that probably love, of course, the Four Agreements primarily for its, if you will, the, the number, the preface, but the beginning where he talks about how society created things about us, like your name, it's not your name. It's what you're called, you know, it's not you, you know, or your language was chosen for you because of where you were born. You know, those kind of, so when you when you when you understand that part, then you understand Wait a second, then, I mean, things get really weird. You're like, what do I do with my hands, you know, kind of thing. It's, and so I really like that seven hands. Habits of Highly Effective People. Oh my gosh, in terms of, you know, if you're dealing with anger, for instance, you know, then, I mean, understanding Victor Frankel's stuff, Jewish, Austrian psych psychiatrist and lecture now he's on a table exercising his last Enduring Freedom, you know, the power to choose his response. He couldn't control the stimulus what was happening to him at the time, Unknown Speaker 56:24 right. Jeremy Snowden 56:26 And, you know, his response you could control because of the space in between, which is his power to choose. Brandon Handley 56:33 Yeah, that's based in between is is it that's, that's something that me once you recognize that space in between, so there's so much power and absolute there's so much power in that. And you know, not for nothin like I was always like, felt like, you know, the fastest way to answer had to be like the smartest one right now. You're the fastest One answer, but the more I think about it, like, the person who goes away and comes back with an answer, like the next day and really thought about it, that's the person I admire, you know the person with a question. Okay, well, yeah, I'll talk to you tomorrow. Jeremy Snowden 57:16 Yeah. Nice. Brandon Handley 57:18 Right and and then and then we usually within that time, you kind of figure out some answers for yourself. And to me anyways, whenever you ask a question, you're like, Look, not for nothing. You've got it. You've got a pre loaded answer already. You know what I mean? You're like, even in even for yourself, right? Like, you know, the whole idea of what you seek is seeking you, right? It's just like, you're just, you know, you're sending out to the university. Like, this is what I'm looking for. It'll the universe is like, Alright, well, here it is. You're like, Ah, yeah. where, you know, you know, you know not I don't know where you you, you only had eyes for that. Jeremy Snowden 57:54 Right? Right. How about this, just throw a little bit of spice in Coggins did that. How many of us are self sabotaging at the 10th and goal all day, Brandon Handley 58:07 every day? Jeremy Snowden 58:08 Because we, I mean, we can see it through the membrane. And we're afraid what that means. Brandon Handley 58:14 There's a really good book on that. Let me see if I've got it here. Notice there is I can do anything. I do anything, only if I knew what it was how to discover how to discover what you really want and how to get it. And this is, the concept is about scanners. Right? And scanners are like, you know, I forget what it is, but like, you know, some of us we've got this story, that we're not going to go do this thing, because we feel like why can't go do this because if I did that, I'd leave my family behind. Right or or like, you know, something would happen, my family, they would get upset with me and so we tell ourselves, all these stories They're just that write stories. And so we stop ourselves at the 10 yard line. Because internally, we've got, like some story that we told ourselves that we heard, you know, 30 years ago. Unknown Speaker 59:11 That's so digged. In it's it's entrenched. Yeah. Right. Brandon Handley 59:16 And and whether or not we like to admit it, we know that that's still in there, right? We're like, we're like, now I got rid of that. Like, yo, bro, you don't get rid of words. Right? They keep coming. They keep coming back. And that's just like those stories that we keep telling ourselves and then we say, yeah, we think we got it fixed. And we am still there. Jeremy Snowden 59:35 Right? Yeah. Incredible. Yeah. Brandon Handley 59:38 Yeah, I mean, Jeremy Snowden 59:39 that's a that's sorry. That's like, a choice, right? Brandon Handley 59:44 Yeah, that's a space right. That's a space in between, right. That's a space that's a that's the that's the opportunity to recognize the story that you've told yourself over and over and over and over again, and and that's your opportunity to say Not today. Unknown Speaker 1:00:01 Right? Yeah. Brandon Handley 1:00:03 I talked way too much on this one, Jeremy, thanks for letting me talk. I mean, I can see why, you know, you're you're the guy that that, you know, thanks for this is how you hold space. I appreciate it. You know where, you know, you've got this coming up, where can people go join this group with you? Jeremy Snowden 1:00:18 Absolutely. Thanks. And first off, I wanted to say, you know, I mean, like, you're rocking it to, like, as far as like living your ultimate path. I can, I really can see from my side of the screen. Here's somebody that's going after it, you know, I'm saying you still have obligations, you still have things you have to do. And so this is extra right Brandon Handley 1:00:40 side, hustle, whatever. It's not. here's, here's, here's the thing, and I appreciate that, right. It's not the side hustle. This is I mean, you'll listen to a lot of other people. If you make this the thing you have to do. There's resistance in that and there's worrying there's concern and so you will think back, right you hold things back that are true. Do you because you're concerned what other people may think. Right? And so if you just do it, because it's true to you without expectation, I mean, we talk about Buddhism, right? And we talk about suffering is due to desires but suffering to me is due to our expectations suffering, his desires, our expectations, not being realized the way that we thought that they were going to come out right. So if we do this with the intention, if I do this with the intention that this has to work, all pressures on this all pressures on me that I lose my freedom with that, yeah, beautiful my freedom with that, so but I do appreciate the truth of the matter is this is true to me. 100% right now, getting to lead with spirituality instead of hiding behind your father for the rest of us was awesome. You know, doing that five group was great. They brought me To exactly where I am today it was necessary. I did you know I did prosperity practice and and dabbled in LA. But that also brought me here to ultimately spirituality. I'm like, you know what, I'm just gonna I'm just gonna leave with spirituality. Like we talked in the in this is like, that's who I feel like I need to be I need to be the greeter I need to be the person that greets like you just like you right? Like, just like it is 100% you know, so we're walking the same we're walking a similar path, right? And and we're just there to help people out man and the whole deal with this podcast is we're out there doing it successfully and living our path and having a more fulfilled life through this version of ourselves. Unknown Speaker 1:02:48 And there are plenty of people doing it. And my total intent is to show you that you can do it too. Brandon Handley 1:02:58 I love that right. There's some There's something else. There's something in Jeremy's story that you're going to hear today that resonates with you that says, I gotta, I gotta follow my path. I gotta, I gotta I gotta open up my own heart. I feel like I feel like I could you know, benefit from hanging out with Jeremy and learning about, um, you know, the hero's journey, I've never heard about it. So go ahead, spend some time there. Understand it's like to give people space and follow your path, man. Jeremy Snowden 1:03:25 Absolutely. So we have a Facebook group, of course, hero's journey, which immense discussion discussion circle, which means you know, you're in, you're in if you want in your in piping, just we follow a DBA D Don't be a, you know, whatever. Don't Don't just don't troll in there just for the sake of trolling. Yeah, but it's a great place to be able to connect, you know, it's a safe spot. Some people what I've noticed, too, is there more. They're more reserved, you know, they they they want to watch for While and that's fine. And but it's a great place to connect. And of course, you can message me, of course, Jeremy Snowden, feel free to add me if you're a guy that's into growth mindset, if you're trying to find your way or if you just need some pointers or some feedback, always willing to schedule a call with you. Brandon Handley 1:04:17 Yeah, I think that's awesome that you're holding that space for these people. And, you know, you're accepting them and you're helping them. You're helping them find themselves man. And that's super important. So thank you for joining. So that's Jeremy Sloane on Facebook. And I know you're on Instagram to where should they find you on Instagram? Jeremy Snowden 1:04:39 Instagram is bald headed Movado. It's a project that's a tongue in cheek, I'm biracial. And so I kind of take potshots at you know, the the notion that you know, what are you supposed to be then? So it's more of a tongue in cheek thanks, but I enjoy it. I love I love I'd love to connect there to all thank Unknown Speaker 1:04:59 you Thank you so much for joining us today. Cool. Thanks, brother. Transcribed by https://otter.ai

In this episode, Dr. Pauline Boss, esteemed scientist practitioner who coined the term 'Ambiguous Loss,' discusses the meaning of Ambiguous Loss and how it differs from other losses. Drawing upon powerful examples, Dr. Boss discusses physical ambiguous loss and psychological ambiguous loss due to dementia from disease, brain injury etc. She clarifies that Ambiguous Loss is not a result of pathology, but rather the ambiguity of the circumstances of loss. Using examples like the families of 9-11 she describes the understandable impact on a family when a parent is gone but loss cannot be substantiated. With the aim of building resilience rather than pathologizing, Dr. Boss discusses the Psychological Family, the Family Narrative and the ability to engage Dialectical Thinking - 'my husband is both absent and present in our hearts and minds.' Dr. Boss references Victor Frankel's Importance Of Finding Meaning, Adjusting Mastery Up Or Down and discovering 'New Hope' by risking change.

In this episode of The Run With Chestnut podcast, Francesco and Simon review “Man’s Search for Meaning” by Victor Frankel. Join them as they discuss the chronology of the book as Frankel narrates and analyzes his time in the WWII concentration camps as well as what he learned from his experience. Reach out to us on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook @RunWithChestnut to give us any feedback, or future topic requests.

Un episod conţinând mărturia lui Costel Pârnău şi felul cum a înţeles să treacă peste nişte tragedii ale vieţii greu de îndurat, dar şi o discuţie despre acţiune şi implicare, după cum este scris în pilda talanţilor. În a doua parte vorbim despre cartea Omul în căutarea sensului vieţii de Victor Frankel şi despre felul cum oamenii, în ciuda tragediilor vieţii aleg să meargă mai departe. Felul cum o faci însă, face diferenţa în calitatea vieţii ce ţi-a mai rămas dăruită de Dumnezeu. Episodul acesta conţine un mesaj atât de puternic încurajator încât nu merită să îl ratezi.

Today, as I was writing my new book, I turned on cable news to see Senator Tim Scott @SenatorTimScott on the "daily briefing "with Dana Perino @DanaPerino. I turned up the volume to hear with Senator Tim Scott had to say, and it touched me deeply. I'm an emotional guy, and Senator Scott's message really touched my very core! Senator Scott told a story about how his mother raised him and his brother. His message is that the REAL difference-maker is about the importance of education and imagination. He also emphasized what his mother taught from an early age, "If we blame everyone else for where we are, we never get to move forward." Powerful! I then share a quick video of Nazi concentration camp survivor, Victor Frankel. This should be the primary message that will create lasting change and increase personal fulfillment: "Reach for the stars and improve your mindset." This is the only sure way to create the future we all want. Stop blaming! Thank you to Senator Tim Scott's mother for teaching her children a true and universal principle. Thank you to all parents, teachers, and leaders who inspire us to stretch beyond what we believe is possible, and shun a "victim" mindset. Adopting a victor and abundance mindset is the only sustainable way forward that elevates all individuals, families, homes, schools, churches, communities, and a nation. • Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/SPpVUvGEdUc

Hi everyone, thank you for tuning in - this will be 1st of many interviews that I do with people that I think will help you, mentally and physically within your work and personal life. On this video is one of my best friends James Rubin who is the CEO of a leading Waste Management Company in the UK His journey is pretty crazy - from never living up to the high expectations from school , to picking up a book that changed his whole life and set him on this journey and mission to have an industry that is customer focused and to be environmentally friendly. Not everyone would see waste management as exciting but James knows his WHY and it helps him everyday to use this vehicle to change the world and make an impact James has been great at setting up a structure within his business where after close to 8 years of work 12-15 hours a day has been able to step back and allow the machine to run. That is so important because it now allows him to focus on going to the next level Parts of his journey have had supposed failures but James has taken on these challenges and now actually grown the business. You do not learn from success, you learn from failures , that is what makes you stronger. James mentioned a number of books that has helped him to grow Rich Dad Poor Dad - Robert Kiyosaki Think and Grow Rich - Napoleon Hill E- Myth - Michael Gerber Chris Howard course - leaders course Victor Frankel - man search for meaning Simon Sinek - starting from why I asked James for 5 tips that will help to motivate and inspire 1- Have Gratitude 2- How you speak to yourself internally 3- Meditation 4- practicing non judgement with other people but also the situation you are in 5- We are here to serve others within business Hope you enjoy the video, please comment and let me know your thoughts

What would it be like if you could rally your whole neighborhood to tackle a serious problem you all share? What would it feel like to help lots of people find strength and solutions they never imagined they had inside themselves? Can you imagine facing a massive crisis like, say, a pandemic, with love, calm, and optimism? You definitely can if you are today’s guest, Tracey McConnell. A long-time community organizer, non-profit advisor, and personal growth coach, Tracey is no stranger to hardship or challenge, but she meets difficulty with a loving resolve that is truly inspirational. Her special skills help her to bring diverse people together and find the common ground that makes it possible to move into a solution. A skillful facilitator, Tracey leads us in a Focused Conversation to model how we can come together on even the most difficult topics, see the humanity in everyone, and make things better for all. Join us for a refreshing dip into the pool of possibilities on episode 24 of the Rocket Feather Podcast. SHOW NOTES References: Creative Capacities LLC: https://www.CreativeCapacitiesLLC.com Tracey@CreativeCapacitiesLLC.com (928) 925-4020 Tracey on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CreativeCapacitiesLLC/ Rocket Feather Community Lab on Facebook Institutions We Support & Admire: Arizona Community Foundation MATForce El Gato Azul The Raven Cafe Music Credits: AShamaluevMusic Quotes: “Between Stimulus and Response There Is a Space. In That Space Is Our Power To Choose Our Response” Charles attributed this quote to Victor Frankel but apparenly the story is more complex. Check it out at Quote Investigator: https://quoteinvestigator.com/2018/02/18/response/ --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/rocketfeather/message

Megan :                                00:03                     Hi, this is Megan Guido with What's your MO in Healthcare and today we're going to shift out of talking about the dynamics of healthcare and we're going to talk about how color code can help you survive the holidays with your family. So you're going home for the holidays. Are you excited or dreading it? Family dynamics are hard and spending compressed time with family in one location is stressful. It can bring up all kinds of stuff. Whether you're a young adult who's sleeping in your old bedroom that's being turned into an office or it's figuring out how to talk to a new member of your family that you really don't even know. It can get pretty uncomfortable. Color Code, the personality assessment that helps you understand people's core motives and what drives them, can help. It won't necessarily relieve all of your discomfort, but it can help you understand why your family members are behaving the way they are and hopefully give you an opportunity to give them some grace.Megan :                                01:04                     Remember, you are spending time with people you may know well or you may not know at all. Now if you have the benefit of knowing the family member, well you may even know their MO or what drives them and that's great. For instance, mom is a Red and she wants to control all the activities. "We're doing a Secret Santa this year. We're having eggnog and singing carols on Christmas Eve and then we're opening presents at 9:00 AM on Christmas day followed by brunch. Reds like to run the show but isn't that nice though? You can sit back and enjoy it. Embrace the opportunity not to have to make a lot of decisions and embrace the opportunity to spend time with your family members instead of trying to manage the activities yourself. You don't want to get into a control battle or a fight.New Speaker:                    01:53                     Speaking of fights, your Blue brother may bring up an old argument that wasn't resolved.Megan :                                01:59                     Blues hang onto things for a long time. They do this for a number of reasons. First, they may not feel like the issue is resolved or that there is an injustice that must be corrected. Second, they may be personally hurt or bothered by what they perceive as a moral injustice. They are driven to address it because it's hurting the intimacy of the relationship and that's what drives their existence. Try to have patience with the Blue. You can always suggest that you understand that the argument was hurtful or the interaction was disappointing or it's an issue that yes you agree needs to be resolved, but that the holidays are not necessarily the ideal time to do that. So suggest a different time when it can be addressed.New Speaker:                    02:46                     So what about your new daughter-in-law who you're pretty sure is a white personality. You're trying to get to know her but she's really quiet or you find her hiding in the bedroom or watching TV when family activities are going on. You may think really that's kind of rude.Megan :                                03:03                     Why doesn't she interact with the family? Remember, White personalities can get overwhelmed by too much activity or a lot of noise and if you have a particularly roucus family, the White personality is going to withdraw. They will observe and they'll spend time with you. But they do need some downtime. So don't take it personally. It's not a snub, it's just survival. If there is any conflict that arises amongst the family, most likely the White personality is going to avoid it, leave the room. Or if they can't physically leave the room, they may even try to mediate and help find a diplomatic solution to the issue. And that's a good thing. You want to listen to her.New Speaker:                    03:48                     And what about your crazy aunt? If she's a yellow, her eccentricity may be when she really shines. She loves Christmas time and holidays. This is her time to be with people and to really shine. Embrace her spontaneity and her charisma.Megan :                                04:04                     People are drawn to that charisma and creativity. Don't count on them to get everything perfect during the holidays. So you may actually sit down to eat at 9:00 PM instead of 7:00 PM but go with the flow and jump in to help. A Yellow will welcome it and you'll always have a good time making that stuffing or wrapping presents, even if it's at midnight. If you are a controlling Red or Blue, practice deep breathing and recognize that it doesn't have to be perfect.New Speaker:                    04:33                     So I want to wrap up this special bonus Color Code podcast with a quote from Victor Frankel. And he said, "Between stimulus and response, there is a space. And in that space is our power to choose a response. In our response lies our growth and freedom." So in Color Code vernacular, that really translates to taking a hundred percent responsibility for the relationship. Remember, you can't change your family, but you can change how you respond to them. You have the choice and the power to find joy in that space known as the holidays.New Speaker:                    05:10                     So with that, I do wish you a happy holiday. And this is Megan Guido with "What's your MO in Healthcare?" 

In this second part (part 2) of the "Joy, Empathy, and Provider Burnout" podcast, Dr. Laurie Drill-Mellum, an emergency medicine provider and a strong advocate for breaking down the communication barriers that are all too abundant today in medicine, continues her discussion around the challenging issue of "burnout" in healthcare. Enjoy the podcast! Objectives:     Upon completion of this podcast, participants should be able to: Explain how developing skills of empathy can lead to better self and patient care. Recognize that the continuum of emotions clinician's experience are normal and that there are ways - using intention and attention, to influence their impact on one's practice and life. Give examples of my understanding to the shifting dynamics around clinician and patient expectations in the current era and how to effectively tend to them. CME credit is only offered to Ridgeview Providers for this podcast activity. Complete and submit the online evaluation form, after viewing the activity.  Upon successful completion of the evaluation, you will be e-mailed a certificate of completion within 2 weeks.  You may contact the accredited provider with questions regarding this program at  rmccredentialing@ridgeviewmedical.org. Click on the following link for your CME credit: CME Evaluation: "Joy, Empathy, and Provider Burnout - Part 2" (**If you are listening to the podcasts through iTunes on your laptop or desktop, it is not possible to link directly with the CME Evaluation for unclear reasons. We are trying to remedy this. You can, however, link to the survey through the Podcasts app on your Apple and other smart devices, as well as through Spotify, Stitcher and other podcast directory apps and on your computer browser at these websites. We apologize for the inconvenience.)  The information provided through this and all Ridgeview podcasts as well as any and all accompanying files, images, videos and documents is/are for CME/CE and other institutional learning and communication purposes only and is/are not meant to substitute for the independent medical judgment of a physician, healthcare provider or other healthcare personnel relative to diagnostic and treatment options of a specific patient's medical condition.”    FACULTY DISCLOSURE ANNOUNCEMENT  It is our intent that any potential conflict should be identified openly so that the listeners may form their own judgments about the presentation with the full disclosure of the facts. It is not assumed any potential conflicts will have an adverse impact on these presentations. It remains for the audience to determine whether the speaker’s outside interest may reflect a possible bias, either the exposition or the conclusions presented. Planning committee members and presenter(s) have disclosed they have no significant financial relationship with a pharmaceutical company and have disclosed that no conflict of interest exists with the presentation/educational event. SHOW NOTES: CHAPTER 1: As Fred related, our journey between starting and finishing our practice matters. The "dash" in our practice, in our lives. Firstly, mindfulness can help us begin to "own the dash", as it will help us to slow down, notice out thoughts and feelings. The second is acceptance. Accepting that things are not always going to go well. There will be pain. In our day to day and year to year existence. What will you recall and reflect on? What will others reflect on about you? Victor Frankel in "Man's Search for Meaning", astutely points out that how we react in our lives is one of the last "true freedoms". Self-awareness is a great first step in the road to recognizing and remedying burnout. Are we experiencing dread in going to work, moodiness, arriving late to work drinking more alcohol? The vast majority of burnout tends to be due to a systems problem, especially as it relates to workload and workflow. We are asking too much of people. Therefore, it is imperative that our systems also contribute in recognizing and treating burnout. Of course, there is always the possibility that continuing to work in medicine, despite addressing burnout symptoms, changing systems, etc., may just result in the practitioner moving on to a different field or even career in some cases. The triple aim in health care is going to depend on the wellbeing of those who are doing the work. And what exactly happens when we actually lose someone to burnout? The cost is significant, and in multiple layers. Cost to replace a physician, for instance, is approximately $1.5 million. Lost revenue, recruitment costs (which can be exorbitant nowadays due to the very competitive market that is out there), loss of clientele, etc. And as it turns out, the up and coming health care providers are looking for a healthy work-life blend. Even leading to less income in order to achieve a better work culture and atmosphere. At the same time, limiting hours and training exposure, as well as the "hands-offs" that occur in patient care, do lead to concerns for patient safety and potentially care outcomes. Supporting our colleagues in the infancy of their career as well as the twilight is equally important. While focusing on our own individual professional well-being and work-life blend, offering support as a group in general is equally important; checking-in with our colleagues and making sure they feel supported, in other words. CHAPTER 2: Do you experience joy or do you experience happiness in your life and career? Maybe a bit of both? Joy is continued practice, while happiness is an on and off feeling. Shauna Shapiro, a mindfulness professor, compared two people: a lottery winner and an accident victim who is paralyzed. After a year out from their very disparate experiences, they were each at the baseline level of joy. Gratitude does in fact affect your happiness, and thereby contributes to a culture and ongoing experience of joy. For instance, the three daily gratitudes as advocated by the happiness guru, Seligman. Simple, but proven to be effective, and in a very short period of time. Turning the emotional and sometimes traumatic aspect of our jobs into the privilege of having a "front seat" to the awe and mystery of patient care, as coined by Rachel Remen, can also help to shift the perspective and lead to resiliency and joy in our work. Self care and relationships is equally important. Having a "3 AM friend" for instance. We are all human and have times in our lives when we need to purge. Recognition of value in promoting self-resilience is the first step, followed by setting a goal to do this, and then actually executing it. Whether it's a book club, a running club, gardening, etc. While the individual is key to their own resilience, coping with and preventing burnout, we can lean on one another as well. Schwarz Rounds and peer support networks are great mechanisms to empower and lift-up the individual. Dr. Laurie Drill-Mellum discusses the "thread" in our lives. Something that gets us from point A to point B, and through the "snow storm". What do we hold onto and what motivates us? What is it that feeds our sense of purpose? In our work, and in our personal lives. In addition, the Hopi elder metaphor of being in a canoe and getting somewhere relates that it is not so much the point of the destination, as much as who you're with on the journey. Thanks for listening.  

In this episode, Dr. Pauline Boss, esteemed scientist practitioner who coined the term 'Ambiguous Loss,' discusses the meaning of Ambiguous Loss and how it differs from other losses. Drawing upon powerful examples, Dr. Boss discusses physical ambiguous loss and psychological ambiguous loss due to dementia from disease, brain injury etc. She clarifies that Ambiguous Loss is not a result of pathology, but rather the ambiguity of the circumstances of loss. Using examples like the families of 9-11 she describes the understandable impact on a family when a parent is gone but loss cannot be substantiated. With the aim of building resilience rather than pathologizing, Dr. Boss discusses the Psychological Family, the Family Narrative and the ability to engage Dialectical Thinking - 'my husband is both absent and present in our hearts and minds.' Dr. Boss references Victor Frankel's Importance Of Finding Meaning, Adjusting Mastery Up Or Down and discovering 'New Hope' by risking change.

Covered: How you can be more than who you are right now A message for everyone who doesn’t have the success they want yet How to build the capacity for your success What it means if you don’t have success yet How Gandhi was able to take on the British Empire Why Nelson Mandela was able to stay positive in jail with a life sentence How to turn on new genes for self improvement Victor Frankel‘s advice for finding bliss even while in a Nazi concentration camp The one human freedom that cannot be taken away Why being smart isn’t enough according to Elon Musk How to use your smart phone for productivity and success The perfect path that has been given to you as a gift And more!.. Your questions help me create the content you want to hear and need more explanation on. That means this show can only reach it's full potential with your participation! So think of a question from the podcast content you'd like to have played on the show and click the link to leave me a message: http://www.storyhackinghero.com/askme I can't wait to hear from you!
 Dave Anderson P.S. When your question is picked I"ll play it on the podcast and give you a shoutout. That's my way of saying thank you for being an important part of the Story Hacking community!

Tikiri Herath is the award-winning author of the Red Heeled Rebels suspense thrillers and the Rebel Diva empowerment series. She has lived and worked on four continents and holds a Bachelor's degree from the University of Victoria and a Master's from the Solvay Business School in Brussels. After a lifetime of global travel and work, Tikiri is now a recovering nomad who calls Vancouver, Canada home.    In this episode we talk about: - society's message to go to school, be serious and get a secure job - the series of events that lead to a REAL wake-up call - the grounding question Tikiri asks herself 'when I'm at my deathbed, what will I say to myself' - the importance of her morning routine, where she started and where she is now     Book recommendation: Man’s search for meaning by Victor Frankel   ____________________________________________________   I'm obsessed with storytelling and vulnerability because I believe that this is the truest way to find and stand in your power! Whether you are looking to discover the story of you or just more inspiration to stand in your power, let’s connect! Find me on FB: https://www.facebook.com/jessicaburrellcoaching   Never miss an update or podcast episode: www.jessicaburrell.com  

I'm joined by Charles Morris for a very special episode focused on meditation and mindfulness. Charles is a fellow Microsoftie and is currently Director, Global Learning & Development where he's helping to bring those concepts into Microsoft life. Charles is also a father himself so he's our first "two-fer" of expert and dad. We cover a lot of ground on this one and jump around a bit so I edited the order of our discussion to lead off with a "what is meditation" discussion for any newbies. From there we cover common misconceptions of meditation, the science behind the practice, where meditation and religion overlap (or don't) and then into a discussion of Charles' personal history with meditation and Microsoft. He's bringing the two together through his Mindful Growth program (links to more info on that below). Here are all the links to concepts we discussed: Victor Frankel - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Viktor_Frankl Google's "Search Inside Yourself" program + institute - https://siyli.org/ Other corporate mindfulness programs: Aetna - https://www.aetna.com/health-guide/yes-can-stop-multi-tasking-successful-executives-share-mindfulness-secrets.html Salesforce - https://medium.com/@salesforce/how-i-started-practicing-mindfulness-at-work-d2964cf95ec1 Charles' Proposal for the "Mindful Growth" program - https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/mindful-growth-accelerating-microsofts-transformation-charles-morris/ The Mindfulness Studies masters program Charles mentioned - https://lesley.edu/academics/graduate/mindfulness-studies-masters London cabbies - larger hippocampus due to having to memorize streets - https://www.wired.com/2011/12/london-taxi-driver-memory/ Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction - Mindfulness-based stress reduction Meditation apps: Insight Timer - https://insighttimer.com/ Headspace - https://www.headspace.com/ Calm - https://www.calm.com/ Digital Detox - http://digitaldetox.org/ Waldorf education - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Waldorf_education Finally, I talked a bit about a product we love in our house called K+. K+ is an organic sports drink formulated specially for young athletes. It has the right amounts of the good stuff your kids need and none of the stuff they don't. And it tastes great (I like it too!). You can buy it on their site - https://kplusorganics.com/, at select healthy grocery stores like PCC and on Amazon here: https://www.amazon.com/Organic-Beverage-Vitamins-Replenish-Electrolytes/dp/B07H445K9H/ref=sr_1_2_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1551118084&sr=8-2&keywords=K+plus

In the Future State, what does our culture look like? In this episode, we cover the issue of missing elders in our culture. Joining me in this discussion are Dr. Loren Kerns, director the doctor of ministry program at Portland Seminary and Dr. Nick Willis, professor of mathematics at George Fox University. All three of us are in our 40s, married and with children. Nick has just recently returned from a conference about this topic and gives some really interesting insights and Loren has just reread Victor Frankel's book, Man's Search for Meaning. Nick and Loren's experiences both as academics and as fathers provide some insights into this issue and some hope for aspiring elders. Definitely worth a listen.

This week, on The Conscious Consultant Hour, Sam welcomes Spiritual Coach and Teacher, Art Drentlau. Art has studied the teaching of over 30 Spiritual Masters and Mentors for over 30 years. He understands how the Process of Creation works and can explain it in simple and easy to understand terms. He wants us to know that we are here on Earth to experience Ecstasy because that is our Birthright. Part 1: Sam welcomes his guests and announces his partnership with the Awaken Fair. His first quote discusses how as long as we have a dream and a heartbeat, there is still something we want, a vision or dream to manifest us. There is no reason to stop continuing. Keep moving forward. Never give up and never give in. All dreams will have their day. The second quote discusses to hold the spirit and continue following your dreams. You never may have imagined where you end up. The universe has an amazing imagination. As long as you keep putting one foot in front of the other, one day you will end up in a beautiful place, and it will seem to happen in a blink of an eye. Sam introduces his guest, Art Drentlau. He studies sprits and the higher self. He discusses what got him started on the path. He discusses learning spirituality and his discovery with it when he was 17 years old. Part 2: Art discusses how when he was in the navy, he found how easy it was to brainwash soldiers through the stimulated attacks. He talks about getting involved with churches in his area in northeast Ohio. Art has been deep studying spirituality for a while. There was a lull for Art for a while, but recently he found Abraham and Bashar's teachings, where he can learn things more scientifically. Between the two of them, Art has been able to find his path. Art talks about how we are far more than we have come to believe. There is good news and bad news: We are the only ones standing in the way of our magnificence. We have been brainwashed for over 1000 years. There is no concept of no. Wherever our attention goes or our energy goes, that is where we expand. Part 3: Art talks about Victor Frankel. He is one of the only men who thrived in that death camp, even as he watched his entire family get shot in front of him. He learned to love the men who murdered his family. When found in the concentration camp, he was in the peak of health. He discusses the book he is writing. Sam discusses the idea that the concept of heaven and hell have been promulgated by religion. Church came up with the concept of hell to control people through fear. Art talks about a spiritual shift taking place in today's society. More people are becoming reawakened. Part 4: We are changing from a carbon-based system to a crystal-based system. Humans are only using about 10% of our abilities. There are other civilizations that are using more energy to where they do not have to communicate as we do. While many in this country have mansions and cars, happiness is still elusive to them. To change where you are at right now, you have to be happy with your circumstances. There is only now. Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-conscious-consultant-hour8505/donations

The mindset of a victim or victor is a clear choice that only we can make ourselves, regardless of past or present circumstances, experiences of the situation. A victor takes ownership, is accountable and responsible for their life; a victim is stuck in blame, excuses and denial about the situation and circumstances beyond their control. In victim, no change is possible, its completely fixed; change is only possible as a victor; look at the famous example pf Oprah Winfrey a victim or sexual abuse to global victor in business, media and a force for good.

We can survive in happy times without purpose, but we especially need purpose in sad times. Victor Frankel the inventor of Loco-therapy survived the Nazi concentration camps because of purpose. In conditions that kill the spirits of mighty men, that destroyed the bodies of able men, frail professor Victor Frankel survived these Nazi concentration camps. How did he survive the thin blankets, the threadbare clothes, the biting cold of Germany in the winter? They gave them thin soup to drink every other day, a crust of bread every other day, but how did he survive the dehumanizing treatment? Because he discovered his reason for being, and he came out of it and said “it was not the typhoid fever that killed people it was not the pneumonia, people died when they lost their reason for being.” Vision is the ability to see the future beforehand. And purpose is our reason for being, why we’re here -our assignment. Myles Munroe defines leadership as the capacity to influence others through inspiration motivated by a passion generated by a vision, produced by a conviction, ignited by a purpose. So we see that purpose is the ignition for leadership. It’s the reason for leadership, purpose has a conviction. Purpose creates a passion; purpose is what generates a vision. Vision is one of the most critical factors to leadership and you cannot give what you don’t have. This is why we all must have a personal vision. Also without a personal vision, you don’t know if the vision of the leader is taking you to your preferred destination, and your vision is designed around your purpose. Bear it in mind that vision is a picture of where you are going, vivid, glowing, detailed; write it down, don’t just think it, ink it. Purpose is the reason for making the trip, and purpose would keep you throughout the trip. The bad times, the good times, you will remember your destination, you will remember your reason for making the journey, and you will negotiate the potholes with joy. You will stop at the rest stops with joy, because you know the reason why you are making the trip. Today as you go about your daily activities put a spring in your step, you are not an error, you are not a random occurrence, you are God’s design, His handiwork, and you are God’s ambassador, my dear listener, REPRESENT.

Genesis 28:10-22 “Surely the Lord was in this place, and I was not aware of it.” Genesis 28:16 “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances.” Victor Frankel, Man’s Search for Meaning Discussion questions: 1. What moments have helped […] The post I Choose…My Future Story appeared first on Middletown Christian Church.

In this episode we'll explore the nature of Christian hope from 1 Peter ch.1. We'll learn the story of a Holocaust survivor named Victor Frankel and what he learned about human psychology and hope. This story gives us a profound insight into the important role that hope based on the resurrection of Jesus can play in our lives.

Amanda is an Irish national bikini champion and has been training for well over 10 years. Amanda received a first class honours degree in sport and exercise science and retuned to university to complete a degree in health science specialising in naturopathy, nutritional medicine and western Herbal medicine. Amanda is one half of the amazing recalibrated bodies team (see episode 85 with her fiancé Daniel)    In Today’s episode we talk about all the mistakes Amanda made when she started of and how to get leaner without a massive calorie restriction.  An absolute must listen for any female athletes.    Check Recalibrated Bodies out on all their platforms below: http://www.recalibratedbodies.com https://www.facebook.com/recalibratedbodies/ https://www.instagram.com/recalibratedbodies/?hl=en     Book Recommendations: The Life Changing Magic of Not Giving a F*ck – Sarah Knight A man’s search for meaning – Victor Frankel  

  Please Support The Show With a Donation   This week we talk to Emily Esfahani Smith Emily Esfahani Smith is the author of The Power of Meaning: Crafting a Life That Matters She graduated from Dartmouth College and earned a master of applied positive psychology from the University of Pennsylvania. She writes about psychology, culture, and relationships. Her writing has appeared in the Wall Street Journal, New York Times,Time, The Atlantic, and other publications. Emily is also a columnist for The New Criterion, as well as an editor at the Stanford University's Hoover Institution,   In This Interview, Emily Esfahani Smith and I Discuss... The One You Feed parable Her new book: The Power of Meaning: Crafting a Life That Matters The difference between happiness and meaning That the defining feature of a meaningful life is connecting and contributing to something that lies beyond the self The three criteria of a meaningful life: feeling that one's life is significant in some way, feeling that one's life is driven by a sense of purpose and feeling that one's life is coherent That human beings are meaning-seeking creatures That there's more to life than feeling happy That our current culture doesn't emphasize meaning and purpose Victor Frankel's important work related to the role of meaning in our lives The role of meaning when facing adversity That responsibility and duty are wellsprings of meaning That the wellsprings of meaning are all around us The four pillars of a meaningful life: Belonging, Purpose, Storytelling, and Transcendence The wisdom in what George Eliot has to say about the people that keep the world going in small yet indispensable ways: that the goodness of the world is dependent on their unhistoric acts What kind of relationships lead to a sense of belonging That purpose can come in all shapes and sizes That reflecting on the story of your life can lead to a greater sense of meaning in your life The two different types of storytelling That transcendent experiences are crucial to having a greater sense of meaning in life The good news about what's happening to us as a species       Please Support The Show with a Donation  

Is happiness overrated? We spend a lot of money and time working toward being happy. But all this happiness seeking doesn't actually mean we will be. Instead of trying to live a happy life, some say we should try to build meaningful lives. This is much more attainable. Also, just because you're happy doesn't mean you'll live and longer and super duper happy people are kind of a drag. Are you unhappy? Reggie has a list of traits that characterize chronically unhappy people. Plus, Diane Von Furstenberg, laughter yoga, Victor Frankel, Carnation instant milk and raw eggs, Noxema, and Thanksgiving relative angst. Sponsored by Fuck It I'm Changing Plans and Boycotting Thanksgiving Travel Insurance, the insurance that recognizes holiday travel is contingent only if you're candidate, the right candidate, the candidate who doesn't advocate white supremacy wins.    

Dave Brisbin | 12.28.14 Heading into a new year, there seems to be a lot of fear about the direction of the world in general and our country and our lives in particular. Jesus said he came to bring life and life abundantly, but where is that abundance in the fearful attitudes being displayed? Victor Frankel said that the last of human freedoms is the ability to choose our attitude in any given set of circumstances. Paul of Tarsus said he'd learned to be content in all his circumstances. How did they do this? How do we? There are three songs that I believe convey the heart of the life toward which Jesus is calling: Crazy World, Cruel, Crazy, Beautiful World, and for the new year, Auld Lang Syne. To first understand and then to begin to live the crazy contradictions and disparate themes played out in these songs is to again glimpse talya—the attitude-word Jesus used that means both child and servant at the same time—the means to find that we can live with abundant trust even if we lack the clarity of a risk free world.