Podcasts about in i john

In I John 2:6 we read these words written about what it means to be a follower of Jesus: "Whoever claims to live in him must live as Jesus did." In his new book, "Radical Like Jesus", Greg Stier helps us to understand what it means to be in Christ and to live like Jesus. I'm excited about this book and how we can use it in our homes, our churches, our youth groups, and our own lives. And, I'm especially excited to be chatting with my passionate and engaging friend, Greg Stier, about his new book, on this episode of Youth Culture Matters.

Does the carnal christian exist-- What does John mean by -commit- or -practice- sin. In I John 3-4-10 John gives us all two categories. Children of God and children of the Devil. Today we'll examine what it is to practice sin or practice righteousness.

Does the carnal christian exist-- What does John mean by -commit- or -practice- sin. In I John 3-4-10 John gives us all two categories. Children of God and children of the Devil. Today we'll examine what it is to practice sin or practice righteousness.

Does the carnal christian exist? What does John mean by "commit" or "practice" sin. In I John 3:4-10 John gives us all two categories. Children of God and children of the Devil. Today we'll examine what it is to practice sin or practice righteousness.

In I John 2:5 the apostle writes, “Whoever keeps his word, truly in this one the love of God is completed.” The Greek phrase translated “the love of God” (ἡ ἀγάπη τοῦ θεοῦ) could be understood as God's love for us or our love for God. Dr. Elizabeth Mburu explains the grammar, the context, and the reasoning behind her conclusion. Dr. Mburu is Associate Professor of New Testament and Greek at Africa International University, Nairobi, Kenya, and is the regional coordinator for Anglophone Africa for Langham Literature. She is on the board of the Africa Bible Commentary and is the editorial coordinator and New Testament editor for its revision. Her publications include Qumran and the Origins of Johannine Language and Symbolism and African Hermeneutics. She has also contributed the exegetical notes on 1, 2, 3 John to the forthcoming Greek New Testament Study Bible (Zondervan). Check out related programs at Wheaton College: B.A. in Classical Languages (Greek, Latin, Hebrew): bit.ly/4abFiF7  M.A. in Biblical Exegesis: https://bit.ly/4aesr5b 

In Pastor Nate's 2nd sermon in the REMAIN series, through I John, he addresses a question at the beginning, that will leave you evaluating, do I truly know Jesus? In I John 2, the author, John, challenges the believers, if you know him, you will love him, and if you love him, you will obey him. Watch and Listen to this message, knowing you are being prayed for, and have already been prayed over while tuning in!

In I John 4:1 We are reminded to try the spirit in all things. Asking the Holy Spirit to guide as there are practitioners of deception,blame and outright falsehoods that abound in the world today and as was in the days of Jesus dealing with the Pharisees, there are those that practice that same thing. Claiming to have authority that they do not have and were never given. Seek His face, His truth and His knowledge and He will show wisdom through you. Remember that God's peace is true and he promises that, we just need ask. II Thessalonians 3:16 is a reminder of that. Too John reminds us in his first letter that God's perfect love drives away fear, if we seek that very thing. I John 4:18 and do not forget that God did not give us a spirit of fear. His peace, love he has for us always. I love the blessing God tells Moses to have Aaron bless the Children of Israel; The Lord bless the and keep the; The Lord make His face shine upon thee; The Lord lift up His countenance upon the and give thee peace. Amen, Ahmad.

John shows us in this text that Jesus is an amazing Savior who through The Gospel has set believers free from sin's power and sin's penalty/condemnation. In I John 2:1-2, John writes to sin compromisers and self-condemners about how they are to respond to sin in their lives. Further, those still condemned can come to Jesus for forgiveness by grace through faith in Christ.

The Bible tells us that one of the evidences of the fact that we have been born again and are in Christ is love. Followers of Jesus are called to love each other because we've been loved by God. The great evidence of God's love for us is that he sent his son as a sacrifice for our sin. In other words, God demonstrated his love for us with the death of his son Jesus on the cross. God's love is a faithful, giving, self-sacrificing, and consistent love. In I John 4:7 we are called to “love one another,” a statement which is not a suggestion, but a command. Sadly, in today's world the way we understand, live, and give “love” has become self-serving and self-seeking. Parents, is it the latter or former kind of love that you are living out in your home with your spouse and children? If our “love” is a “love” that seeks to satisfy itself, it is nothing but selfishness. Instead, love your children and spouse in a truly biblical manner, thereby fulfilling your calling to love as Jesus has loved.

In I John 4, our Apostle of love addresses the antichrist spirit that permeates our world today.  The antichrist spirit is one that denies who Jesus is and opposes the Deity of Christ. This evil spirit embodies the Babylon system that has intertwined into the very fabric of the nations and cultures of this world.  Its source is Satan, but it uses human beings to express its opposition to Jesus and all He stands for. It controls our educational system, our judicial system, our political system, our economic system, and our religious system in America.  That should shake us to the core of our being.

The true Christian life is about denying ourselves and not doing the same things that the world does.  Jesus said if we are going to follow him we must deny ourselves, take up our cross and follow him.  In another place he said we must count the cost of following him.  In I John chapter 1, the Bible says that God is Light and in Him is no darkness at all. If we say that we are in right relationship with him and walk in darkness, we are lying and not doing or practicing the truth.  However, if we walk in the light then we are truly in right relationship with him.   It is our decision whether or not we walk in light or darkness.  There are certain things that believers must avoid because those things are rooted in darkness. The Bible must be used to define what God considers light and what He considers darkness and then as believers we must choose which one we are going to walk in.   We continue this current series with Episode 2: Make The Decision To Walk In The Light.

This episode looks at Luke 2:6-11 and I John 4:1-6. In the Luke passage, we find a portion of the Christmas story when the angels announced the "good news of great joy" to the shepherds on the hillside. This "great joy" is available this 2020 Christmas season. In I John 4 we are introduced to one of the hopes the "great joy" of Luke 2 has for all those who are filled with God's Spirit: "Greater is He that is in you!" We learn from this lesson that Jesus came in the flesh to save us and to give us the power to overcome the world.For those who use Word Aflame Curriculum, the Bible passage focused on in this episode comes from Lesson 3 of The Living Word, Winter 2020-21, entitled, "Greater Is He That Is In You" (December 20, 2020). This episode is produced by the Pentecostal Publishing House and is hosted by Jonathan McClintock. Visit us at www.pentecostalpublishing.com

In Eph.5:18 we find God's command: “Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery.” (Which is wild, reckless living). Then the verse continues with the command: “Instead, be filled with the Spirit”. So, it is God's clear instruction to all Christians to be filled with the Holy Spirit. In I John 5:14,15 there is this promise: “that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us, we know that we have what we asked of Him”. This means that if we ask God to fill us with His Holy Spirit according to His command, we can know that according to His promise, He hears us and fills us with His Holy Spirit. We are filled with the Holy Spirit by faith alone. True prayer is one way of expressing our faith. The following is a suggested prayer: Dear Father, I need You. I acknowledge that I have sinned against You by directing my own life. I thank You that You have forgiven my sins through Christ's death on the cross for me. I now invite Christ to again take His place on the throne of my life. Fill me with the Holy Spirit as You commanded me to be filled, and as You promised in Your Word that You would do if I asked in faith. I pray this in the name of Jesus. As an expression of my faith, I now thank You for filling me and directing my life through the Holy Spirit. You can use this prayer, which is in the outline, to ask God to fill you with His Holy Spirit. At our next meeting we will look at the results of living under the control of the Holy Spirit.

Title: Defend the Faith Text: II John 4-11 FCF: We often struggle with how to respond to those who teach a false gospel. Prop: Because true children of God walk in truth, love and obedience, we must defend the faith. Scripture Intro: [Slide 1] Turn in your bible to II John. In a book that only spans 13 verses, it may be a little surprising to see that we will be covering the vast majority of them in this sermon. There are all kinds of different preachers out there. Some preachers tend to be a little more topical and cover large portions of scripture in their sermons. Others tend to be more exacting of the text and cover sometimes only a word per sermon. My philosophy has always been to try to capture the thought of the author. Paragraphs typically serve as good indicators for where the author’s thought begins and ends – the only problem of course – is that the manuscripts we have of the text of scripture from the original languages did not include any punctuation at all – much less paragraph markings. I really did try this week to separate this sermon into two. However, what became apparent was verse 4 through 11 has no obvious thought break. Starting in verse 4, he makes a point and continues to run with that point until he starts to say his goodbyes. I suppose we should expect in a letter this brief that he would probably only have 1 point to communicate clearly and then say his goodbyes. There are two dangers. If I divided his thought we may miss his meaning, if I don’t you may lose some details. I decided the latter was the better option, but I need your help. There is a lot in this sermon – so you must keep paying attention. I am in II John, I’ll begin reading in verse 4. I am reading from the NET but you can follow along in whatever version you prefer. Transition: The last couple weeks I have let you off easy with a couple shorter sermons. Well this week is where we make up for it. We are covering a lot of ground, so do your best to pay attention. The folks at home have the luxury of a pause feature, but for those who are here, do your best to stick with me ok. I.) Genuine Christians walk in truth, love and obedience, so we must live in truth, love and obedience. (4-6) a. [Slide 2] 4 – I rejoiced greatly because I have found some of your children living according to the truth, i. There are two ways we could read this. One is fairly passive aggressive and the other is not. ii. John could be saying that he is rejoiced to find out that not all of the people in the church there had stopped living in the truth. iii. Or, John could be saying that he met some of the church there and was overjoyed to find that of that small sampling, all of them were living according to the truth. iv. I don’t think John would have pulled any punches and worded it this way if it was the former. So, the latter interpretation is preferred. Not being the elder or leader of the church in question, he may not have had opportunity to meet with many of the church there. But, what a joy it would be, after seeing the fallout of the church from I John, to meet others from another church who remained faithful. b. [Slide 3] Just as the Father commanded us. i. If you have not picked up on the line of reasoning by now that God expects obedience from those who are truly His people – I’d say that you may be a visitor here and this is your first time in this church. ii. God’s command to His true children is to live according to the truth. To walk in obedience. To live as if you are the ongoing recipients of His grace, mercy, peace, and love. Because you are. iii. But John is not just going to complement this church… now he will exhort her. c. [Slide 4] 5 – But now I ask you, lady () that we love one another i. In the next couple verses there are parenthetical statements that disrupt the flow of thought. I have approached this by excluding those phrases from consideration until we finish the thought. ii. I feel as though this will help us not get distracted. iii. John’s charge is that we love one another. It is interesting. iv. He is not charging her exclusively – but all of Christianity including himself. With what command? v. To love one another. vi. So why is he commanding her to do this? Is this church failing to do this? vii. Well that is where the parenthetical statement comes in… d. [Slide 5] (not as if I were writing a new commandment to you, but the one we have had from the beginning) i. It is not that this church had been failing to love one another. ii. In fact John said before that he loved them in truth. And since, at least some of them were walking in truth, it is logical to conclude that they also were continuing to love one another. iii. Rather this is a standing order from the Father that all His children love His children with the love of Christ. iv. From the beginning is not the beginning of time but rather the beginning of their conversion. v. Jesus said that he gave a new command that they love one another as He had loved them. vi. And so this command is the marching order from conversion to glory. e. [Slide 6] 6 – () This is the commandment, just as you have heard from the beginning; Thus you should walk in it. i. The first part of this is another parenthetical statement so continuing John’s thought, he says ii. That this command to love one another, since it IS something you were given from the beginning that adds weight to the fact that you should walk in it. That you should live it. iii. But parenthetically John wants to define his terms. iv. What does it mean to LOVE one another? f. [Slide 7] (Now this is love: that we walk according to His commandments.) i. Obedience to God is love. ii. So obeying God equals loving other believers. We need to adjust our understanding of what it means to love one another. iii. As we pointed out in our I John series – we love others by loving God. And we cannot love God if we do not obey Him. Our love toward our brothers and sisters is not, in fact, aimed at them at all. Our love is aimed at Christ in them. iv. To obey the second greatest command, you must obey the first. v. And so here again as we saw in I John these three evidences of being fathered of God continue to exist. vi. In I John we noted that a person who has growing faith, enduring selfless love, and progressive obedience is a person who has been fathered of God. vii. In II John Truth contains all the giftings of God the triune to His beloved children. And John has commended some of this congregation for walking in truth. Now he asks them to walk in love which He says is walking in obedience. Truth, love and obedience. viii. This sounds an awful lot like Faith, love and obedience from I John. ix. And as we discovered in our Wednesday bible study this past week – separating truth, love, obedience, grace, mercy, peace, is a fool’s errand. They are one – all-encompassing gift of God to His dear children in Christ. x. So, what then is the command that they should walk in? They must love… and if love is defined as obedience to God, and if love flows from truth, then all three are commanded. We love in truth and to love we must obey God. xi. So the command is to walk in truth, love and obedience. g. [Slide 8] Passage Truth: John tells his readers that the commands that God has given them from the beginning of their new life in Him, endures even now. h. Passage Application: That they must walk in truth, love and obedience and continue to do so. He will build and expand on this and what this means in the text to follow. i. [Slide 9] Broader Biblical Truth: Zooming out from the text to I John, to Romans, to Ephesians, to Leviticus, to Deuteronomy, to Isaiah, to Micah – we see that God has always and will always command His people to walk in truth, love, and obedience. And no matter which covenant context you are in, the life of those in covenant with God continues to bear the same fruit. j. Broader Biblical Application: And now – in the New Covenant, we who are IN Christ bear all the more the responsibility and the capability of walking in truth, love and obedience. Transition: [Slide 10(blank)] But John is only getting started. He needs to expand on this to bring out a specific expression of this application. II.) Genuine Christians walk in truth, love and obedience , so we must watch out for deceivers. (7-8) a. [Slide 11] 7 – For many deceivers have gone out into the world, i. So the segue to this next point is difficult to realize. ii. John says “for” for is a word of subordination. It means that whatever follows is somehow related to what has been said before. iii. So John desires greatly that this church continue to walk in truth, love and obedience. iv. So related to that thought is this one… v. Many liars have gone out into the world. This implies that they were once not in the world. This is not John’s way of expressing someone who has rejected or lost their salvation, but rather a person who has left or rejected the confession of the church proving they were never part of them. vi. Now we may balk at that and wonder what does one of these have to do with the other, but it seems fairly obvious. vii. If all believers have been commanded to and will continue to walk in truth, love, and obedience – then when you find some “believers” who do not… you should take note. They are liars. viii. But how do we know they are no longer walking in truth, love, and obedience? b. [Slide 12] people who do not confess Jesus as Christ coming in the flesh. i. Doctrinal confession and adherence is included in walking in truth. It is not the sum total – but it is included. And therefore, one sign that they are not walking in truth, love, and obedience is that they deny doctrinal truths. ii. What particularly is their brand of lie –the specific context in which John writes here is the teaching that Jesus Christ was a human. iii. This is a teaching we should be extremely familiar with although it is somewhat disconnected from our culture. Most people today assume Jesus was a human just not God. iv. John’s words here affirm both though. Jesus as Christ coming in flesh. He was the Messiah of God that came in flesh. Both God and Man. c. [Slide 13] This person is the deceiver and the antichrist! i. John had similar language to refer to these folks in I John. ii. Definite articles in Greek do not function with the strength that they do in English. iii. This is rightly translated the deceiver and the antichrist – but we dare not think or assume that he is saying that such liars are THE deceiver and THE antichrist. iv. The man of lawlessness and Satan Himself are not somehow absorbed or in possession of a person who is an apostate who denies Jesus’ humanity. Such a statement stretches the Greek article farther than it can go. v. But we should walk away from this text with the strong language that John has used. vi. Such people – who were once part of the assembly, who now deny Christ come in flesh, who deny his atonement, who deny the Sonship to Yahweh, who deny the Old Testament program set in motion and fulfilled in Christ – such people who deny core Christological truth… vii. Are they confused? Deceived? Are they victims? Ought they be coddled? Ought they be plead with to repent? viii. John calls them the deceiver and the Antichrist. What does this mean? ix. They are working for their master Satan and in the spirit of the man of lawlessness that is to come. x. Those… are VERY strong words. Words we ought to be mindful of when we speak about people who have “deconverted” – specifically those who have deconverted and now adamantly oppose or teach against their former confession. xi. It is not that they are simply unsaved. It is not that they have been deceived. THEY ARE NOT VICTIMS! xii. Rather – they are agents of darkness. They are anti- Christ. They are God’s enemies. xiii. So what is John’s call upon his readers? How will they walk in truth, love, and obedience in reference to those who have gone out? d. [Slide 14] 8 – Watch out, so that you do not lose the things we have worked for, i. Beware! Beware! John says. ii. Jude says they are dangerous reefs leading only to shipwreck iii. Beware oh Christian! They only destroy! iv. If you do not beware, what will happen? We will lose what we have worked for. What does that mean? v. Well this is somewhat of a subject of debate. 1. Some have looked ahead to verse 9 and seen it as a plainer expression of what John says here. In other words, to lose what we have worked for, is to prove that they were never truly converted. This church will lose what the apostles had labored over in their community – specifically the conversion of their souls. This however, seems to present more questions than it does answers. 2. The other way to approach this is to define this as the ministry of the gospel. Although Jesus has given a guarantee that His church will be victorious over the gates of hell – that does not mean every local visible church. Some churches will be (and indeed have been) ravaged by apostates and false teachers. If they are allowed to persist. If they are coddled. If they are not seen for what they are… They will destroy all that we have worked for. vi. This second interpretation is what I prefer when I look at this text. It makes more sense to me that John is not necessarily talking about the church’s status in relationship to salvation, but rather the church’s status in relationship to the work of God in the world. vii. So the negative reason they should beware is that these apostates are sure to destroy what God is doing in their community if they allow them. viii. The positive reason though is… e. [Slide 15] But receive a full reward. i. So that the full reward in that day when we approach that throne will be given to us. ii. That we who have been found faithful in the little things will be given more. iii. How we conduct ourselves in ministry here on earth does have an effect on our reward in the kingdom to come. And while are not told precisely what that means or how that works – John’s point is this… iv. Do not underestimate the destructive power of the apostate. If you do, you will watch as the entire ministry crumbles around you. v. Instead – beware and mark them. Prepare each other for their lies. And stand firm and defend the faith so that you will be found faithful and rewarded accordingly. vi. We have the hope for eschatological reward. That great kingdom of which we are ambassadors now. The kingdom is coming and now is. Be sure to receive your full reward. Beware of these people. f. [Slide 16] Passage Truth: Since, as we noted the word “for” includes subordination, the truth that all believers walk in truth, love, and obedience remains. As an extension to that ongoing truth, John warns that there are those who will not endure in truth, love and obedience. So what is to be done with them? g. Passage Application: John teaches his readers that they ought to beware – to keep on guard for who have left and are now teaching doctrine opposed to what they had heard about Christ. For two reasons. 1.) so that the work they began may not come to nothing and 2.) so that they may receive their full reward. h. [Slide 17] Broader Biblical Truth: Again – since “for” indicates subordination- A believer walking in truth, love, and obedience would never be one of these people who fail to confess a proper Christology. And so, the only conclusion is that these people are liars. This was in I John, it is in Galatians, it is laced throughout the Scriptures. What they believe and teach is how we determine if they are false or not. If they are a liar or not. So the only question is - what do we do with these liars? i. Broader Biblical Application: From Old to New Testament the teaching is the same. Beware. Mark them. They only destroy and rob you of God’s reward. Transition: [Slide 18] For us this teaching is very difficult. How is it that walking in truth, love, and obedience can also include excommunicating someone from the truth, excluding them from love, and dismissing them from the community of obedience? We will see this in the next words of John. III.) Genuine Christians walk in truth, love, and obedience, so we must not welcome false teachers. (9-11) a. [Slide 19] 9 – Everyone who goes on ahead and does not remain in the teaching of Christ does not have God. i. This serves as a doctrinal reminder of what John was saying in verses 4-6. ii. To run ahead, to excel, to separate yourself from the pack, is usually viewed as a good thing. iii. But to run ahead past the teaching of Christ is actually to run away from the bonds of saving faith. iv. Perhaps John is quoting his enemies, who may have said, “we have gone beyond the simple teachings of Christ to more excellent things.” v. The teaching of Christ here is not the teaching Christ taught but rather the teachings about Christ. vi. It is not ok for someone to leave the Christological truths that we have received to form some novel iteration of Christological truth. vii. There are a great many areas of life that coming up with new ideas is something to be desired. Theology is not actually one of them. viii. John says plainly if you ever depart what you have learned of Christ and cling to other teachings not already revealed – then you cannot be God’s child. b. [Slide 20] The one who remains in this teaching has both the Father and the Son. i. If the first point was true so is this. ii. The one who remains, safe and secure in Christological truth has both the Father and the Son. Why? iii. Because to have the Father you must go through the Son iv. And to have the Son you must have the right one. One who is not God, not a man, not the messiah, not the atonement, not the high priest, not the king, not the prophet, not the intercessor, not the mediator – that one is not the Son. v. So what relationship does this statement have to what John said previously about losing what we’ve worked for and attaining a full reward? Potentially, John extends his warning beyond just the ministry in their community and even into their very hearts. Not only could you lose the gospel’s impact – but at some point, if you succumb to the teachings too – you may yet prove that you were never God’s in the first place. c. [Slide 21] 10 – If anyone comes to you and does not bring this teaching, do not receive him into your house i. Anyone – actually broadens John’s thought. Before, apostates were in view (those who had gone out) but now it is anyone who does not bring what they had taught. Or to put it positively, anyone who brings a message other than normal Christological confession. What do you do with these folks? ii. Not even receive them into our houses? Wow. That seems kinda harsh right? iii. This could mean either deny hospitality or even deny them entrance into a house church. In either case the point is made that they ought not to bring these false teachers in among them and effectively approve of their message. iv. This is a far cry from how we treat false teachers today. Many reach out and carefully attempt to lovingly woo them into the fold. Some even invite them to their churches to debate and lovingly correct. John says don’t even let them in the door. v. But wait – there’s more. d. [Slide 22] and do not give him any greeting. i. Do not even say to them – Good day! Hello! Good Morning! ii. Wow, really? iii. The greeting here no doubt implies an expression of welcoming and even (as we see in letters) a recognition of what is true of them in Christ. How can you express welcome or truth about them when all that is simply not true. John is basically saying – don’t lie. iv. Why? e. [Slide 23] 11 – because the person who gives him a greeting shares in his evil deeds. i. Welcoming them into your home and expressing to them what is true of a Christian but what is definitely not true of them – only serves to confuse. ii. That is the evil deeds of the apostate and false teacher – he sows confusion and destruction. iii. Expressing your welcome and even indicating that certain things are true of them when they aren’t – makes you the cause of confusion and destruction as well. f. [Slide 24] Passage Truth: John reiterates his point – that true children of God continue to walk in truth, love, and obedience. They do not stop. g. Passage Application: So what do they do with those who have stopped? Those who have left the faith and are now teaching a different gospel? Are we only to look out for them – or can we do more? John says to be unwelcoming to them and their teachings. h. [Slide 25] Broader Biblical Truth: All true believers continue to walk in truth, love and obedience. We know this. We have seen this truth taught in various contexts. So what else do we do with those who are false teachers? i. Broader Biblical Application: In order to walk in truth, love and obedience, you and I must have a passion to keep God’s church pure. To keep His gospel pure. Why? Because the gospel is the power of God unto salvation. And anytime we add to or take away from the gospel that has been revealed, we make it something else entirely. When confronted with an apostate or false teacher who preaches an anti-Christ message… what does it mean to walk in truth, love, and obedience? It means to politely, without violence, have nothing to do with them. We see those false prophets of the old testament punished with death by stoning. In the New Testament Paul says if anyone, me, and angel, another apostle – if ANYONE presents another gospel to you – LET THEM BE ACCURSED! Let them be punished forever and ever. Transition: [Slide 26 (blank)] So how then can we live? Conclusion: Friends in the last year, so many people have deconverted from Christianity. So many have said, they once believed in God and Jesus, but now they see that the teachings of scripture are antiquated and out of touch and simply untenable. Added to this, there are so many voices out there – influential voices – voices that masquerade themselves as evangelical – yet do not teach the gospel of Jesus Christ. I’m not talking about those who might water down scripture – although they aren’t much better. Specifically, I am speaking of those who preach a Christ, a cross, a God, a Spirit that is not of the bible. Recently – one of these teachers was publicly exposed as a false teacher in a documentary that is now on Netflix – that if you haven’t seen, you should go see, called American Gospel. In addressing this confrontation this false teacher called the film demonic and dangerous. Probably because it had the audacity to suggest that his peddling of the prosperity gospel was in fact not the gospel at all. What ought to be our response to those who peddle a gospel that is less or more than the scripture tells us? Seriously! What are we to do with them? Pray for them? Seek to help them? Reach out to them? What? We are, in a word, unwelcoming of them. Let them be accursed. We ought to oppose them. “But I thought Christ tells us to pray for our enemies.” Yes pray for OUR enemies. But John has revealed them to be not OUR enemies but God’s. Just as we do not pray for Satan to repent – so also we do not pray for apostate false teacher to repent either. Let them be accursed. Why? That seems so unloving! That is because your love is focused on the wrong person. You are trying to love the enemy of God when you should be focused on loving first the children of God. For the sake of the purity of the church and those who are young in the faith – Let them be accursed. There is too much at stake, the work is too great, the time too short to waste our time praying for and lovingly welcoming false teaching apostates. Now I do want to clarify. John is not talking about your Christian friend who has a few things loose in his theology. John is not talking about the atheist, Satanist, wiccan or Muslim down the street that denies the God of the bible. He is specifically talking about those who were among us, who confessed the same things that we have or at least appeared to, and have left that behind to confess something different. Specifically, he is talking about Any person who claims to have or have had the gospel of the bible, but preaches something different… that is what he is talking about. John gives us clarity on how we are to respond to those who teach a different gospel than we have heard. They are enemies of God, so we reject them and their message. Not in a violent way, but in an aggressive way, not to harm them, but to defend the faith. This is walking in truth, love, and obedience. This is an expression of all who are genuine children of God. We defend the faith.

Title: The Truth In Us Text: II John 1-3 FCF: We often struggle with the surety our faith brings in truth. Prop: Because the truth that resides in us encompasses all we need to be what God wants us to be, we must take comfort that we reside in truth. Scripture Intro: [Slide 1] Turn in your bible to II John. It is bittersweet to say goodbye to I John. It really is worse than I felt after Matthew. Perhaps because it seemed like I John had just begun and then it was finished. I think John could have written 3 or 4 more waves of teaching for us- and I would have been ok with it. But in God’s providence, II John and III John are closely related in theme to I John. So in a way I sort of get my wish. II and III John in many ways continue on with what John has said, but also add a few levels of application and detail that I John lacks. The background for this book is almost identical to I John. Probably written in the early 90s, just before being sent to Patmos as a prisoner. The secessionist crisis was John’s purpose for writing this book as well. Although with a different application. We should review what the secessionists believed just to make sure we are all on the same page. The secessionists were proto-gnostics, believing that Christ did not actually come in flesh, but rather was a Spirit being who served the real Father which was not Yahweh. They believed that sin was not only impossible for them now but that they had never really sinned at all. They also believed that they were part of a spiritual race traced all the way back to Seth. All that salvation was – was awakening to the truth that they were part of this real spirit heritage. In I John, John writes to a church that this group had left. In II John the audience is slightly different. It appears that the audience has thus far been spared this doctrinal aberration and is still holding fast. So John writes, what is really, a warning to them to be on guard and defend the faith. As such, many have reasoned that II John is probably a cover letter sent to a church close to the one written to in I John. Along with this letter, he probably sent I John. We don’t know if this is true or not, but it is plausible. Especially given the shortness of both II and III John. Only 15 verses in II John. And to add more confusion to this, he says at the end – “Though I have many other things to write to you…” You kind of walk away from II John saying – uh yeah John – you could have written A LOT more! But if we read I John with II John as if they came together – we could understand that John has probably reached the limit of what he could communicate with pen and paper. And so we begin II John today – which continues and builds upon what John has already said in I John. I am in verse 1 of II John. I’ll be reading from the NET today but follow along in the version you prefer. Transition: Since this is basically just a greeting that we’ll be discussing today, the sermon will probably be a little shorter than usual. I know you won’t complain too much. But don’t mistake its brevity for unimportance. The message here is highly valuable to set the tone for the rest of the letter. I.) Love for other believers flows from and for the sake of abiding and enduringly present truth, so we must take comfort that this truth resides in us. (1-2) a. [Slide 2] 1 – From the elder i. Although John does not name himself in this book, just as he did not in I John – there is sufficient evidence from church history and comparing style and phraseology to the Gospel of John to strongly indicate that this is John speaking. ii. Calling himself an elder rather than an apostle could potentially have some significance. iii. As we asserted early in our study of I John, these books were probably written later toward the end of the first century. Most likely in the early 90s. iv. This being the case, John calling himself the elder, rather than the apostle suggests one or both of the following. 1. John is quite a bit older than those to whom he is writing. Thus, the elder is less a title of authority and rather a reference to his age. 2. The use of the term elder above apostle could be in reference to the shift in eras. There was an apostolic era where the apostles exercised considerable influence over the formation and edification of the church. However, given this late date of the letter, most likely John is the only apostle yet alive. Therefore, the era of the apostle was all but expired. And the Elder leadership of the church had replaced it. v. Perhaps both are in view. b. [Slide 3] To an elect lady and her children i. Debate rages as to whether this is a particular woman and her children or another way to refer to local assemblies as a mother and her children. ii. Although both “elect” and “lady” are known to be Greek names of women, neither as a name is compelling in the text. iii. Further complicating this is that at the end of the letter John seems to be with her elect sister’s children… so her nephews and nieces? iv. The most satisfying interpretation is that John is not speaking of a particular woman or her children but rather a local assembly. The church as a whole would be the elect lady (the bride of Christ) but the children would be those who are part of that assembly. c. [Slide 4] Whom I love in truth (and not I alone, but also all those who know the truth) i. The truth is a concept that we will elaborate on in verse 2, but for now we must recognize that the truth is what holds John’s love for this local assembly. It is not just that John truly loves them – but rather he loves them in truth. ii. And it is not his love alone but also the love from all others who know the truth. iii. So not only does the truth contain John’s love for this local assembly – but any and all who have this truth also love this local assembly. iv. It leaves us wondering what this truth could be. Let’s keep going. d. [Slide 5] 2 – because of the truth that resides in us i. His love for this local assembly is, in fact, because of or for the sake of that truth. ii. That truth resides, abides, and rests in … us iii. John’s love in truth is because or for the sake of the truth itself which resides in all who know the truth. iv. What is abundantly clear is that John is not talking about something that is true, or even a confession of orthodoxy. v. The full measure of what John means by truth is still quite difficult to pinpoint. So we must press on. e. [Slide 6] And will be with us forever i. Certainly, a confession could be with us forever, but this seems relational. ii. There seems to be more here than merely an expression of orthodoxy or doctrine. iii. This truth resides in us and will be with us forever. iv. Is this truth a person? Is it a work? What is this truth? f. [Slide 7] Passage Truth: Although a simple greeting, John already assures the readers that he loves them. And there can be no greater assurance that he could speak than to tell them that he loves them in truth. Indeed he is not alone. All who know the truth love them. Why? For the sake of abiding and enduringly present truth, they love. This truth seems, then, to be quite important. g. Passage Application: Indeed, so integral is this truth in this opening greeting, that the application for his readers, although not overt, is fairly easy to guess. It mimics the theme of I John. What a comfort to know that this love produced by truth is for the sake of truth that abides in all of them and will remain with all of them. h. [Slide 8] Broader Biblical Truth: The phrase “the truth” is used throughout the scriptures. Certainly it is a noble pursuit. In Judaism and even the Greek and Roman culture, the truth was something sought by everyone. And Of course in John’s gospel Jesus calls Himself the truth. In I John, God the Father is called the True One. There is no question that truth means far more than a list of facts, a creed or a confession. Truth is all encompassing of what it means to be God’s child. John loves them in truth. And all who know this truth love them too. And it is for the sake of this abiding and enduringly present truth that they do love. That is truth with… teeth. i. Broader Biblical Application: And so, as we investigate this truth throughout this text – it should be great joy that this truth resides in us, if it does. Of course, if you have failed I John – II John will not put you at ease. Transition: [Slide 9(blank)] So far we’ve seen that this truth that John speaks of is both the spring that produces love for other believers and this love is for the sake of this abiding truth that will be with us forever. So, if love flows from and for this abiding and enduringly present truth, what else comes from this abiding and enduringly present truth? II.) In this truth and love God’s gift of salvation will be with us, so we must take comfort that this truth resides in us. (3) a. [Slide 10] 3 – Grace, mercy, and peace will be with us from God the Father and from Jesus Christ the Son of the Father in truth and love. i. Again John uses the verb – will be with us. ii. In Greek, word order in a sentence communicates emphasis of thought. English sentences typically follow the same pattern. Subject, verb, object. Otherwise you end up sounding like Yoda “Ran to the church he did” iii. In Greek though, the speaker and writer would emphasize thoughts in a sentence by putting them first. John begins this new sentence with “will be with us” iv. The interesting thing is that John says this in a future tense. v. He is not saying this as a command or a hope, like most greetings to biblical letters– but rather a guarantee. vi. Will be with – US. vii. John includes himself in the guarantee too. viii. Another interesting thing is that this verb is in the third person singular. It would be (he/she/it) will be with us. Now if we carry on through this text we find John mentions 3 things that come from God in truth and love. ix. It perplexed me greatly because 3 things cannot be singular. Unless of course, if we are talking about God Himself He can be 3 persons in one. x. This then, is the secret to the question – what is this truth that John’s love is in? What is this truth that resides in us and will be with us forever? What is this truth in which we love others for its sake? xi. I’d say that John has just added another clue. Grace, mercy, and peace from God and from Jesus Christ His Son is also IN the truth and IN love. So this truth that resides in us, that will always be with us. This truth that produces love for others. This truth contains God’s grace, God’s Mercy, and God’s Peace to us. xii. Grace is God’s action to provide to us regeneration, salvation, sanctification and glorification. Where the grace of God ends and the Spirit of God begins is difficult to pinpoint. xiii. Mercy is God’s action to forgive us of Sin and expiate it from us. xiv. Peace is God’s action to end all hostility with us as He punishes His Son for our sin in propitiation. xv. In these three – the very atonement – our very salvation is summarized. In backward order the Son suffered our fate and expiated our sin, paving the way for the New Covenant. In forward order the way we experience salvation, by the grace work of God to raise us from death to life and to give us mercy from God through the blood and Peace with God. xvi. Grace, Mercy and Peace from God and His dear son, fits into truth and into love. xvii. And as John says, he loves them in truth. xviii. So love fits into truth. xix. In other words – this truth that John speaks of is far beyond simple doctrinal confession or orthodoxy itself. Rather – it is the sum total of the gifts of God to us whereby we are not only saved, but also able to do all that He asks. xx. The truth – is everything. And it resides in us and will be with us forever. b. [Slide 11] Passage Truth: So John guarantees his readers that they reside in this truth. That they will always have this truth. And that in this truth they find love for one another – the love of God. And within this truth and this love, they find the very core of our ongoing salvation. Grace, Mercy and Peace. This truth resides in them. Wow! c. Passage Application: So they can only leave this greeting feeling encouraged and assured that they are part of the this blessed community of those who have this abiding and enduringly present truth and love. This great salvation. d. [Slide 12] Broader Biblical Truth: Even just from our past discussion of I John we have seen how great our salvation that God has given us truly is. And II John starts off the same way – exalting the truth that we have been given in Christ. He is the truth and He is in us and we are in Him. e. Broader Biblical Application: And so we draw great comfort from this. Comfort in this truth that resides in us. Transition: So how then shall we live? Conclusion: [Slide 13(end)] John’s letter is once again given to those whose identity he is sure of. He knows that they are children of an elect lady. He knows that the truth resides in them and will be with them forever. He knows that God’s gift in salvation in every aspect will be with them in truth and love. What a way to start a letter! What a way to set the tone! John has some words of instruction that he is about to get to very soon. But before all that – what words of encouragement it is to know that those to whom he is speaking, have the truth in them. The message of II John dovetails so nicely with that of I John, that we really can move from one to the other as if they were the same letter. Yet even here we have caution laced under the surface. In John’s guarantee, he says very clearly that this truth resides in his readers and will continue to do so. That God’s grace, mercy, and peace will continue to be with them in that truth. And that their love will continue in this truth. If you wanted to turn all this into a conditional sentence you could say – If you love other believers and continue in grace, mercy, and peace from God and His Son, then the truth resides in you. How can we be so sure? Truth is the spring from which our love for other believers flows Love for other believers flows for the sake of this abiding and enduringly present truth. And both truth and love are the source from which God’s grace, mercy, and peace continue to be with us through our lives now and forever and ever. Therefore, truth and love are twin graces given to all God’s children, encapsulating all that God has done for them, and enabling them to be all that He asks them to be. So for those who passed I John’s tests – this is great comfort to know that they too will see God’s love continue to pour out of them. They will continue to see God’s grace, mercy, and peace in their lives because they are His true children in His Son. But for those to whom love does not endure. For those to whom God’s grace, mercy, and peace seem to cease – to these there is no assurance that this truth is in them. And so – are is the truth in you? How would you know? Do you love others who follow Christ? Do you see God’s grace, mercy and peace on your life? John has much more to say in this little letter – but we have to start here. Are you the ones that John is writing to or not? If not, you cannot try harder to produce love or somehow force God to give you grace, mercy and peace. You can only seek God and keep seeking Him. If you are a true child of God – then take comfort. The truth resides in you and will always be with you. And in that truth, love and the ongoing gift of salvation will continue to be with you too. But remember… after this wonderful intro to the letter, John will call to action this church – to stand firm against the onslaught. Be comforted in who you are – but don’t think for a moment that that means you are now allowed to be passive. No Christian – John’s call to arms is coming. We’ll get into it next week.

Title: Finale Text: I John FCF: We often struggle knowing if we really are God’s child Prop: Because God changes His people from the inside out, we who progressively look more and more like Christ ought to gain assurance that we are His. Scripture Intro: [Slide 1] Turn in your bible to the book of I John chapter 3. Today we will officially finish the book of I John together. Since I have been your pastor this marks the 5th book that we have finished in 4 years, and Lord willing in another couple months we will add two more to that list as we complete the Epistles of John. I trust that the study has been extremely helpful for you. As a follower of Christ I hope that you have come away recognizing how marvelous a salvation that God has given to you. If not, I will attempt one final shot at helping you to see that as we look at the whole book together today. If you are not a follower of Christ – at least not really – I hope that you have found this book to be incredibly unnerving. I hope that you have left each message with concern for your soul. I hope that you have seen John’s confidence as he gives the definition of a genuine believer, and that you have compared that to your life and found that you do not measure up. Most of all, I hope that you will seek the Lord for mercy and grace. I pray that He may yet bring you to life and faith in His dear Son. So that you may live and walk in Him. Today looks more like a topical sermon than a text based one. As such we won’t be reading a lot of scripture today. I struggle with this because I greatly fear standing up here and spouting off words that are mine and not from God. But with this overview, this finale, we know what God has said in I John. Really this is a review of what God has said… in order that we may learn and grow from it. But I would like to read one passage of scripture from I John that I hope will hone our thoughts on the 4 major themes of this book. I am in I John chapter 3 starting in verse 1 and I will read to verse 3. I am reading from the NET but follow along in the version you prefer. Transition: So in my review of all the sermons on I John, I have come to 4 major themes John gives. There are probably more. And these may not have made other’s list. They are all related to some degree. I will begin foundationally and end at the pinnacle. I hope that this message is a blessing to my true brothers and sisters – and a caution to all others. I.) [Slide 2] First, in I John I see that for the author, doctrine matters – a lot! a. What you believe or don’t believe proves whether or not you have been born of God. (4:3) i. John’s specific doctrinal focus is that of the status of Jesus as the Messiah, the Son of God, the God-Man, and the atonement for our sins. ii. If you lack any of these distinctives in your Christology you cannot be a genuine follower of Christ. iii. This is the truth of the Son, and it is only revealed to and believed by those who have been born of God. iv. Anyone who denies any of these distinctives is an anti-Christ. They are not born of God. b. Arriving (generally) at the same doctrinal confession is guaranteed to all who have the Spirit of God. (2:27) i. The anointing that we have from God is the Spirit that He has placed in us. ii. We who are of God do all have this Spirit within us. iii. God’s truth is spiritually discerned and therefore, when we all receive the same instruction of truth from God, we can rest assured that it is truth from His Spirit. c. Those who actively oppose the truth are anti-Christs and were never part of us (2:19) i. Those who were once part of the faith but walk away show that they were never truly part of it to begin with. ii. Such opposition to truth is something for which God refuses to grant life. d. [Slide 3] What does this mean for us? i. You cannot minimize core church doctrine. 1. Although there are many things in scripture that are preferential and determined by personal conscience on the matter – There is quite a bit in scripture that is core doctrine. 2. Remember that Sola Scriptura does not mean private interpretation of the Word of God. Rather – it means what the church has received from the scriptures. 3. To understand what core doctrine is, we must trace it from the scripture but also follow it back through church history to the scripture. No one gets to determine what the text means by his own personal study. Rather, he is called to depend on the Spirit in Him and in others who are of the faith to determine what the scriptures say. 4. In doing that – we arrive at core doctrine that is without debate and is necessary for someone to truly be a child of God. 5. This is how I study for a sermon. I first pray and ask God’s Spirit to help me understand. I spend as much time as I need to determine what the text is saying to the original hearers. Then after this, I check my conclusions against commentators from various points in church history, from the present all the way back to the 2nd century. It is remarkable that although on the minor details we may disagree… the major premise of the text remains the same – every time. 6. In I John specifically – Christology is on display. But this does not mean it is the only doctrine necessary for true conversion. ii. Secondly, it is important for us to observe that everything God calls us to do is predicated upon what is true. 1. Throughout the letter John rarely commands his readers to do anything. 2. But what happens in every case, is that it is only after establishing doctrinal truth that he commands his readers to act. 3. Actions flow from truth. Therefore one of them is not more important than the other. Instead, they are dependent on each other. 4. Doctrine is neither unnecessary to do what God asks, nor is it the enemy preventing you from doing what God asks. 5. Knowledge does puff up, but doctrine always transforms you. Because doctrine is The Word of God which will not return void. 6. If doctrine seems to have made you cold to obedience and to love, it is not doctrine that you have acquired but rather the knowledge of doctrine and with it arrogance. Transition: This concept is laced to the rest of the threads in John’s epistle so we had to begin with doctrine. So let us now build upon this layer and find another thread flowing through I John. II.) [Slide 4] Second, John concedes that the Christian life may include doubt, but insists that it should not be the norm. a. All that John writes is so that his readers will be assured of their own identity in Christ. (5:13) i. The purpose of his letter was to comfort his readers who had been told that they were missing something. ii. They were teetering on doubt, unsure as to whether or not they were truly God’s children. iii. John’s purpose was to point to truth and their lives to show that they had every reason to be confident that they were God’s children. b. John does not count it acceptable or even normal for his readers to doubt their own identity, even amid their own sin. (1:9-10; 2:1-2; 12-14) i. Even in their sin, it is their response that John points to for confirmation that they have an intercessor who is their atonement. ii. And he, very early, guarantees them that although they still wrestle against sin, they have conquered the world and Satan through Christ. c. John’s whole purpose is to shake his readers into assurance. If doubt was a normal part of the Christian walk, John could have written a much shorter letter. Instead – he writes 5 chapters taking the same themes and repackaging them in different ways to push his readership to understand that they CAN KNOW they are God’s children. d. [Slide 5] In light of this Christians should i. Not be content to flounder in doubt but rather ii. They should be confident in Christ turning their eyes off themselves and to Him. iii. Fake Christians, however, should listen to John and grow in uncertainty and doubt until they realize they are not who they say they are. Transition: But why is John so confident that a Christian should be able to know they are God’s children? III.) [Slide 6] John is convinced that a Christian can know they are a Christian because doctrinally he understands that how a person lives flows out of what they truly are. a. If you say one thing and live another, you are lying. (1:5-2:2) i. Talk is cheap. ii. Saying that you walk in light, know God, love God – yet continuing to discard doctrine, hate God’s people, and live disobedient to God’s law proves that you are lying. iii. Why can he say this? b. If you are living it proves you are alive. (1:5-2:2; 5:5-12; 20) i. Because this life we live in the flesh we live by faith into the Son of God! ii. It is not we who live but Christ in us. iii. We are dead with Christ, alive with Christ, and obedient with Christ. iv. We are in Christ and He in us. v. Ultimately it is through union to the Son and His life-giving power in that union that we draw confidence. vi. Sure, the things we look for are observable good works as evidence – but that doesn’t mean that those good works are from us. vii. Instead – they are only possible because we have been united to the son, inheriting all things from Him. viii. It could never be a “live to become” sort of relationship. Why? Because we were dead in sin. A dead thing cannot do anything. ix. No the way this works is that God has to create in us life. From that life, from new birth, from re-creation, from adoption we can then as a new creation go and do. x. Therefore, as John puts it, if anyone is found doing things that living creatures do – then it proves they are alive already. xi. That is why he says in the end of the book… c. Being Fathered of God produces growing faith, love, and obedience. (5:1-4) i. Faith, love and obedience is the core of all he is saying is true of a genuine believer. ii. But all of these are not true of someone and then they become a believer. Rather if they are true of someone – it shows that they are already fathered of God. d. [Slide 7] John is so sure that his readers should live free of doubt. He is so sure because they have observable evidence that they are alive. Dead things do not act alive. Dead things act dead. But they have growing faith, enduring selfless love, and progressive obedience. That means that they should not doubt – but rather look at their lives and realize… THEY COULDN’T DO THAT ON THEIR OWN! That had to be done TO them. Transition: Ultimately John sets this up fairly airtightly. The doctrine he teaches says that being made alive and living for God can only happen if and when God intervenes on our behalf. Therefore, a Christian should gain confidence in their identity, in who they are, because they have been made that way. Not from birth – but from rebirth. God intervened for them and did something to change who they were. That change in them produces predictable and observable traits. God is the hero of John’s epistle. Because although John is calling his readers to look at their lives to find evidence of their genuineness – he makes sure to tell them WHY that evidence is in them. This leads us to the pinnacle theme that John puts forth. IV.) [Slide 8] God richly provides for His true children. a. God keeps them in the light (1:7) b. God forgives and cleanses them from sin (1:7; 2:2; 12; 15; 29; 3:5; 5:16-19) c. Christ will intercede for them (2:1-2; 3:16; 4:10) d. God completes His love in them (4:7-5:4) e. In Christ, since He conquered the evil one, they have conquered the evil one (2:12-14; 3:8; 4:4;5:18-19) f. The Holy Spirit preserves them in truth (2:27; 4:4-6) g. They are Fathered of God (2:29; 3:1-3; 4:7; 5:1-4; 18) h. God resides in them and they in Him (2:5-6; 24;27-28; 3:6; 9; 24; 4:13; 15-16; 5:20) i. The Holy Spirit resides in them (2:27; 3:9; 24; 4:13) j. God’s love pours out of them toward each other and toward God (4:7-5:4) k. God’s testimony about His Son is proven in their lives (5:5-12) l. God will hear them (3:18-24; 5:14-17) m. Christ will protect them from sin (3:3,6;9;5:16-20) n. They are in the Father through being in the Son (5:20) o. [Slide 9] How can John be so convinced that we can know that we are God’s true children by predictable and observable evidence in our lives? Because it isn’t up to us… it is up to God! p. God acts and His children benefit. This doesn’t absolve His children from obedience – as we saw John command his readers on a few occasions – but it does give confidence to his readers to know that they will be successful – primarily because God won’t let them NOT be. Transition: [Slide 10] So what can we draw from the overall message of John’s first epistle? Conclusion: If God is responsible for all of this… Then those who are His children should all have predictable and observable evidences of His working in their lives. It won’t translate to perfection because even though God is doing all this, we are still involved – so it won’t be perfect. But it also will not fail. When God says He brings us into His family, adopts us, new births us, raises us from death, and makes us a new creation – He means it. And seeing this grand list of all that He promises to do– we can’t be someone who lives exactly as they always have and expect to somehow also be God’s child. It doesn’t work that way. That’s why the message of this book if you are failing these tests is not to try harder. The message of this book if you are failing these tests is to wake you up to the fact that you aren’t actually a follower of Christ and that you never have been. But I daresay that even this is not John’s true aim in this epistle. Although it is appropriate for fake Christians, casual Christians, carnal Christians to all come to I John and tremble in uncertainty – and certainly John would probably not be opposed to that outcome – it really isn’t why he wrote this. [Slide 11 (end)] His primary audience was God’s true people. So in light of all that God is promising to do in our salvation - we no longer have to wonder any more… hey why do I hate sin now? Hey why do I love God’s word? Hey why do I love God’s people? Hey why do I trust God more and more? Hey why do I really want to do all God wants? Hey why do feel that I need to repent when I sin? All these questions are answered in I John. Because you are a new creation. Old has gone and new has come. You have been united with Christ and therefore you are united in Him in every way. You have been plunged into Him. These are merely the predictable and observable evidences that God has fathered you. They aren’t ways to please God more or areas you can boast in. It is like your family DNA. As a product of the genes of your mother and father you will have genetic commonalities between you. To the extent that if we analyzed your DNA today we could with high precision, having never seen your face, we could see that you were a child of your parents. However – if we were simply to look at you and your parents – we’d arrive at the same conclusion without any of the science and without any tests. This is what John is saying. How do you know that your DNA proves that you are God’s child? Do you have His nose that hates the smell of sin and death? Do you have his eyes that looks on His family with love? Do you have His feet that walk stable and sure through rough terrain? Do you have His mouth that speaks words of life? If you are His child – everyone who knows Him will have to spend only a short time with you to realize that you are His child. And just like you can’t very well boast in the size and shape of your nose as if you accomplished it somehow – you can’t very well take credit for your hatred of sin – after all you once served it willingly and without pause. No there is no pride in what God has done in us and to us. There is only joy, and gladness, and thanksgiving, and praise. You may be thinking, why would He do something like that… for me? Friends. That. Is. Grace. I hope if you are a true follower of Christ, as revealed in I John, that you leave this book in confidence, knowing that you have been remade. And I hope that that confidence that He who began a good work in you will complete it in that day – only serves to embolden your obedience, to give you courage to kill your sin, to give you fervency in your love for one another. I hope that as you step out to obey your God – John’s message of God’s part in all this is only a catalyst to drive you ever on toward the mark to win the prize for His glory and the glory of His dear Son. You are His own possession recreated in Christ as a masterpiece for good works which He has predestined for you before the foundation of the world. That is your pedigree. So go and do them.

EVERYTHING AROUND US IS CHANGING! Some people look back and long for the past...for the good old days. Other people look forward, embracing the future, change and “progressive” philosophy. In I John 2:24 – 3:3 the Apostle John gives believers crucial...

In I John 2:12-14 the Apostle John unveils assets and achievements every believer receives at salvation and that should grow through time. It has been said that our thoughts are the most influential shapers of our lives, because the constant thoughts...

In I John 4-19-5-3, John provides us a test which we can use to identify counterfeit love for God.- In this message, we look at the basis, the explanation, and the justification for this test of counterfeit love.

Join the Marriage After God Movement! Thousands have already said yes and we want to invite you to join them. Learn More Here http://marriageaftergod.com Is love something that we can fall in and out of? Can I still be in love if I don't feel like it? What if I'm not happy in my marriage anymore? If I fell into love once can I fall into love again with someone else? READ TRANSCRIPT [Aaron] Hey, we're Aaron and Jennifer Smith with Marriage After God. [Jennifer] Helping you cultivate an extraordinary marriage. [Aaron] And today, we're gonna be tackling the question, can you fall out of love in marriage? Welcome to the Marriage After God podcast, where we believe that marriage was meant for more than just happily ever after. [Jennifer] I'm Jennifer, also known as Unveiled Wife. [Aaron] And I'm Aaron, also known as Husband Revolution. [Jennifer] We have been married for over a decade. [Aaron] And so far, we have four young children. [Jennifer] We have been doing marriage ministry online for over seven years through blogging and social media. [Aaron] With the desire to inspire couples to keep God at the center of their marriage, encouraging them to walk in faith every day. [Jennifer] We believe the Christian marriage should be an extraordinary one, full of life. [Aaron] Love. [Jennifer] And power. [Aaron] That can only be found by chasing after God. [Jennifer] Together. [Aaron] Thank you for joining us in this journey as we chase boldly after God's will for our life together. [Jennifer] This is Marriage After God. [Aaron] Hey, thanks for joining us on another episode of the Marriage After God podcast. We just wanna invite you at the end of the podcast or anytime, really, to leave us a star rating and a review. That helps other people find our podcast, and we also love reading those reviews. So if you wanna take a minute, and again, the easiest way to do that is just to hit one of the stars at the bottom of the app, and that will just give us a rating right there, or you can leave us a text review. We love reading those, so we just wanna invite you to do that. [Jennifer] Another way you can support the podcast is by shopping on our online store, shop.marriageaftergod.com. We have a ton of resources that we've wrote for you guys, including some prayer books, but also, I wanna take a minute to highlight our newest book that we wrote for you, Marriage After God. In fact, today's episode, we're gonna be sharing from Gary Thomas's book, but he read Marriage After God, and this is what he had to say about it: "Marriage After God is not your typical marriage book. "Rather than focus on the common symptoms "of marriage dysfunction and lack of intimacy, "Marriage After God dives into and focuses "on the root causes: the need for faith, biblical truth, "fellowship, ministry, and God-ordained vision. "The Smiths take the wise path of urging us "to grow a better marriage by focusing first "on growing closer to God." [Aaron] Yeah, so we just wanna invite you to pick up a copy of that. We wrote it to encourage your marriage, to find out what God's purpose for your marriage is, and we believe God has a purpose for every one of us in the body, especially your marriage. So please pick up a copy of that book today, and we'd love to get it in your hands. [Jennifer] All right, as always, we're gonna jump into our icebreaker question. Aaron, why don't you start by answering this? What is your favorite game or activity to do with the kids right now? [Aaron] I think I really like wrestling on the ground with the kids. They all climb on top of me. Partly, it lets me lay down for a little bit. Or building forts with our huge, big couch pillows. I think that's awesome. With Elliott specifically, I like practicing drawing. We put on a YouTube show and learn how to draw a dragon or a dinosaur or something like that, and that's a lot of fun. [Jennifer] Yeah, some other games that I would say we've been really into lately is Blokus or Blokus, I don't really know how to say that. [Aaron] Oh yeah, I just played with that them. [Jennifer] So that's super fun, super easy to catch onto, and we've been playing Battleship a lot. [Aaron] Oh, that's a good one. [Jennifer] Yeah. [Aaron] But he gets frustrated when I win. [Jennifer] Everybody gets frustrated when they don't win. So we're working through some of those things, but yeah, those are some games. [Aaron] That was a good question. [Jennifer] That we love with the kids right now. [Aaron] So before we get into our topic, discussing whether or not we can fall out of love in our marriage, I wanna read a quote from Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas, on page 157. "The opposite of biblical love isn't hate; it's apathy. "To stop moving toward our spouse "is to stop loving him or her. "It's holding back from the very purpose of marriage." [Jennifer] Well, I feel like that answers the question right there. [Aaron] Yeah, and well, it's a great start to the conversation, because I feel like people might think, of course, yeah, you can't fall in and out of love, but that's kind of where our world's gone, in the secular world and in the Christian world, and we see it often in emails we get, in messages we get on our social media. We just thought it's a very pertinent topic to bring up with our communities. It's something that we've had to deal with in our own marriage, just feeling that like, well, maybe this isn't gonna work, maybe this isn't right, and just maybe dispel some of the lies about it, think biblically and clearly about it, so that those that might be feeling this way can think better and pursue God in the decision. [Jennifer] Yeah. So, when I thought about this topic to discuss today, the first thing that came to my mind is we need to be aware of the things we're saying, the phrases that we use to describe the life that we're living, the things that we're choosing. And so I just kind of went back to the beginning of like, okay, so where did this phrase come from? What does it mean? [Aaron] Yeah, 'cause we grew up, this is like. [Jennifer] This is what we know. [Aaron] I wanna fall in love. Everyone wants to fall in love. [Jennifer] Yep, or people ask you, oh, when did you fall in love with each other? [Aaron] Right, like it was a day. [Jennifer] Yeah. So, I Googled where this phrase came from, and Wikipedia says this: "falling in love is the development of strong feelings "of attachment and love, usually toward another person. "The term is metaphorical, emphasizing that the process, "like the physical act of falling, is sudden, "uncontrollable, and leaves the lover in a vulnerable state, "similar to fall ill or fall into a trap." [Aaron] I love how it uses those negative phrases. [Jennifer] I know, I was gonna say, as I kept looking into this, I found other phrases like fall asleep or fall behind. Someone else likened it to a surprise, like falling down the stairs. [Aaron] Yeah, there are all these negative connotations with falling, which is really unfortunate, that one of the most, supposed to be the most euphoric and most powerful and magical things that we get to experience is love with another person, and we've turned it into, with our common language and how we describe things, it's so weak, in my opinion. [Jennifer] Yeah, that's exactly what I was gonna say. It kind of strips the beauty of one, knowing what true love is, and then choosing it, because here it's making you sound like it's just happening to you, that there's no control in any of it. [Aaron] Yeah, and I think that one of the traps of the enemy, you know, falling into the trap, like you said, that's he's taken something so beautiful that God invented and created and something that he's given as a gift to his children, and boiled it down. You know, if he can change the terms and the words and the definitions, then he can change the meanings of thing. And so, I think that's the first thing that our listeners can start to think about, is if they fell in love, right, and I know people are really thinking, like, I think you're just going overboard. What's the big deal? It's just a phrase. But it's not just a phrase, because like you said, if we're not aware of the things that we're saying, we don't realize that we define things by the things we say. Words do have meaning, and if we say them over and over and over again, they have meaning, and if we believe them, like, if I believe we fell in love, then it's not hard to believe that we can fall out of love. [Jennifer] Right. [Aaron] Because the definition, it's something that happened to me, I had no control over it. We were just in this whirlwind, and oh my gosh, the passions, and you're beautiful, and I love you, and oh, we have similar things that we like, and oh, and the way you think, and you're so funny, and all these things, which are totally good things, and they totally add to my attraction to you or attraction to another person and draw us, and actually do invoke emotions in us and feelings. And those are all given to us by God. But if we boil down love to just those things, those feelings, then the moment those things change, the moment those things disappear, the moment those things that we used to be enamored by now bug us, because that happens. Like, oh, it was so cute the way you would say that one thing, and now that way you say that all the time really bugs me, and I don't like it. [Jennifer] Yeah. So, here's the other just sad, sad part about all of this, is that in marriage, we come up against this very thing that you're talking about, is if things change. So let's say there's hard circumstances, or you really get to know each other after years and years of marriage, and there's just things like, as you said, bug you. If we say that we fell into love with one another and that goes back to this sudden thing that there's no control over, who's to say that we can't fall in love even after we're married? [Aaron] Right. [Jennifer] And someone else comes along, and no, I've done it again. I've fallen in love again, but not with you. That's dangerous. [Aaron] Yeah, and you know what, I had no control over it. We've actually heard this. I'm sorry, I love you still, but this other person came along, and they're feeding my love tank. [Jennifer] It becomes a justification for sin, and nobody's taking responsibility. That's shat I'm trying to get at. [Aaron] Right, and I think that's what we wanna talk about in this, and where we're gonna try and go with this, is to take away the decision and the control and the thoughtfulness in love is to take away the power of the love in the first place, of what God's doing. The Bible says that God is love. So he invented it, he designed it. It's his creation. It's something that, something that he is love. It existed with him. And so for us to boil it, like, oh, I fell in love, oh, I fell out of love, it's something I go in and out of, and it's not a choice. It's just whatever I feel at the moment. And what's so dangerous about that is the Bible tells us to not operate in our feelings. That's what's called carnal. Our carnal flesh is our feelings, the chemical reactions in our brain, which is exactly what feelings are. You get a burst of oxytocin, and you get a burst of all these different hormones that are good hormones that God created us with, and we define something very spiritual with a very fleshly reaction. And I think that spiritual things definitely bring those emotional reactions, which is why they're good: God made it that way. But love's not defined by those things. And a perfect example is if we're thinking about falling in and out of love, or when things are hard, I must not be in love anymore, or they must not love me anymore, or maybe they've fallen out of love with me or we're falling out of love with each other, I just think of Christ on the cross, you know? He goes into the Garden of Gethsemane, and he prays, Lord, let this cup pass from me. And he's praying that the suffering he was about to partake, that he was about to be obedient to endure, was for his bride. And he's saying, I don't know if I can do this, but I'm not gonna choose. Lord, you chose. And his will was that he went to the cross, because salvation was at hand, for the body of Christ, for the world. And so, if we look at Christ, would he fall out of love when he's on the cross? He's like, oh, this is too hard. I just don't love them anymore. No, he loved us beyond what his flesh wanted, and that's exactly what I wanna talk about. The power of love goes way beyond how we feel, because there was times that you didn't feel in love with me. [Jennifer] No, definitely. In those early years, when our circumstances were really hard, yeah, I didn't feel very much in love with you, and it even brought us to a point of seriously contemplating divorce and separation, but there were other factors involved. Walking in sin, just choosing to isolate from each other time and time again led to that in our marriage. [Aaron] Yeah, we tried. We stayed together. We were friends, to an extent, and there was areas of our marriage, intimacy, sexual intimacy, that wasn't exactly how we wanted it to be. It was actually the opposite of what we wanted. And it led to thoughts in us, sinful thoughts, and I remember me thinking, man, I should have experimented before I got married. I should have had more partners before I got married. [Jennifer] And I remember having thoughts of, well, maybe we're just not compatible, physically, emotionally, mentally. I just thought like, we're not for each other. [Aaron] And wasn't there even a season where you looked outside of our marriage? You didn't go actually do anything, but you desired? [Jennifer] Oh, for sure. [Aaron] Another man, and your heart wasn't with me? [Jennifer] Yeah. [Aaron] And that is what happens when how we feel is defining what we do. [Jennifer] Yeah, and I wanna get to some of those things that come up, reasons why people would feel as though they fell out of love with one another, because I think it's good for us to acknowledge them and address them, because we're all experiencing this thing called marriage, and if we're not willing to confront the hard things, then maybe our hearts would be prone to wanna avoid them or not confront them, and that's not good. [Aaron] Well, and before you get into that, I think the reason, again, going back of the beginning of this, of like, love being something that you fall into, it's accidental, it's I had no control over it, it leaves room, because that's what we believe about it, it leaves room for us to use that lack of control, like, it has nothing to do with me; therefore, when the things we're about to talk about come up, well, I'm just not in love anymore, and that, you know, that's what it is. You can't force me to love someone I don't love anymore. Unfortunate, but that's how it is. Thanks, God. [Jennifer] And that it's his fault for making us wrong or something. [Aaron] Yeah, or taking away the love or whatever it is, and now we have an excuse that's outside of us. Well, see, I mean, too bad I don't love him anymore. I would love to still love him, but it's just not working out. It's not where my heart's at anymore, and I'm moving on. And so it leaves a back door that you don't have to be responsible to go through. You just get brought through it, without any of your own control, when in reality, that's not true. [Jennifer] Yeah, we want everyone to hear this right now. We have an obligation to each other. [Aaron] It's called oneness. It's called a covenant. It's not just an earthly contract. It's not just like a, well, if you fulfill your end of the bargain, I'll fulfill mine. That's actually not what biblical marriage looks like, sounds like, smells like at all. It's a choice that we make to walk in, 'cause Christ chose to walk in his relationship, going to the cross regardless of how we responded to him. And that's our example. It's exactly the picture we get in Ephesians five. Like, hey, bride, you're the church. Hey, husband, you're Christ. You're the picture of Christ in this marriage, and this is how you act. And so, as long as it's something that happens to us, we have no control over it, we have no responsibility to it. [Jennifer] So, I've gotta bring this up real quick. This isn't in our notes, and it's not the direction we were gonna take it, but I think it's important to ask, and so I'm just gonna put it out there, and then maybe you guys can have a conversation about this with your spouses. We can even talk about it later. You talked about love being a choice. You talked about it being a powerful experience and not something that we don't have control over or based on feelings. My question is, do we fall in and out of love with God? Because I would look at Christian culture and say there's a lot of people that base their relationship with God off of how they feel. [Aaron] And what they get. [Jennifer] Or what they get out of it. [Aaron] Yeah, what they believe they deserve. [Jennifer] And so you see this tendency of flowing in and out of God during seasons of, I'm for him, I'm not, I'm for him, I'm not. And so I think that it's important to consider this question in light of our relationship with him. [Aaron] Well, before we move on to some of the reasons why people might feel like they fell out of love, let's talk about how we fell in and out of love with God, because of our marriage, because of the things that we were feeling and going through and experiencing, the hardships within our sexual relationship, the hardships with the sins that we were choosing to walk in and being unrepentant of, and walking in total immaturity and bitterness and anger that man, you had your own relationship dealings with God where you were just angry at him 'cause you were like, God, I deserve a good marriage. [Jennifer] Yeah, I felt like I did all the right things to equal a good marriage, like it was some sort of formula, so when I didn't get it, I was mad at him, because I believed that he was powerful enough to just make everything perfect, give me everything I want, and it be beautiful, and I believed this. I truly believed that. It wasn't just for my benefit that I had a perfect marriage, that it would be so that we can do ministry together for God. [Aaron] It was good reasons, yeah. [Jennifer] Yeah, there's always good reasons. [Aaron] Well, and we wanna be happy. We wanna have joy in our marriage. But this relationship with God was built on what he owed you. And like you said, you fell in and out of love with God the same way you fell in and out of love with me. I couldn't give you what you thought you deserved in a husband. I wasn't giving it to you. It's not that I couldn't give it to you. I was treating you the way you thought you deserved to be treated. I wasn't acting the way you thought I should act. I wasn't speaking the way you thought I should speak. And so your love with me was conditional. It was based on those things. Your love with God was conditional. And I was the same way. I thought that, all I wanted was a wife that I could love and be with and have sex with and enjoy and that would go and do amazing things for God together, and none of that felt like it was real. I was like, okay, God. I wait for marriage, I save myself, I try and be pure, which, in reality, I wasn't. My addiction to pornography, my other things that I was dealing with. I had a picture of who I was. I thought I was better than I was. And then I'm like, God, you owe me this thing, and you're not giving it to me. And so my relationship with God was transactional. Like, hey, I did this thing; now you do this thing. What are you doing? So I think that's a great thing you brought up, that we think our relationship with God is something outside of what we choose and something that happens to us, or our feelings. Like, I feel close to God, which is so dangerous, because I would imagine there's times when Paul, naked and beat in prison, did not feel close to God. I would imagine when Joseph was in the pit after being thrown in there by his brothers and then sold into slavery and then lied about by the wife and then put in prison and forgotten about by the baker, or the cupbearer, I believe there was times he did not feel close to God, but the truth would be is God was close and was doing something very specific in all of those situations. [Jennifer] Greater than what they could even have imagined. [Aaron] And so, we don't get pictures in those stories of them saying where's God, where are you. God was close, whether they felt him close or not. And that is the reality, that God is so close to us. He's not far off, even when we feel like he's far off. [Jennifer] Was he close to us when we were enduring those four hard years of our marriage? [Aaron] He was probably closer then. When I look back, I'm like, oh, God was there every moment. [Jennifer] But did it feel like it? [Aaron] No, it didn't feel like it. It felt like I was praying and he was just ignoring me. It felt like I was being picked on, or that he was being vindictive, like laughing at me. That's how I felt sometimes. But that's not true at all. So just like we're talking about this falling in and out of love, what I felt about God was false. My feelings were lying to me. [Jennifer] What changed? How did you go from that to being able to choose to love God and remain faithful to him, no matter what? [Aaron] Him confronting me with the truth that what he says is true and what I feel is false. I brought up Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane. He brought that story to my attention, and said, look what Jesus did for you. And then he was like, are you not willing then to do the very little thing of just loving your wife, even if you can't get what you want from her? Like, what it cost Christ on the cross is infinitely heavier than what it's gonna cost you to say yes to your bride and keep going. And he just revealed the fallacy in me that my feelings are true and that that's how I'm gonna dictate where I'm gonna go and the direction I go and what I believe, and they're wrong. The Bible tells us, and we'll get to that scripture in a minute, just to not walk in the flesh, but to walk in the Spirit. [Jennifer] Let's talk more about that. So, we're gonna first go through a brief list of why people feel as though they "fall," air quotes here, "out of love." [Aaron] So going back to things that don't feel good, and especially when it's in conjunction with your relationship with your spouse. So tough times. [Jennifer] Yeah, hard circumstances. [Aaron] Like, financial situations and pain and suffering and confusion and those sorts of things, crazy things like loss of children. The hard things can immediately make us not feel good. And you know what? When we don't feel good, Christ wants us to lean on him. He wants us to have his strength and his peace, you know, that surpasses all understanding, and when we don't go to God for those things and when we look to our spouse to fulfill them, which we did that. [Jennifer] Yeah, it's so dangerous. I remember feeling so disappointed in you and in our relationship, because you couldn't do the things that I wanted you to be able to do, which only Christ could do. [Aaron] To fulfill those desires in your heart or to take away the fears that you had, the insecurities, and only God gets to play that role in our life, because you know what, I'm a human. [Jennifer] Yeah, you will fail me. [Aaron] And I remember I tell you this, I even told you this when I asked you to be my wife. I said I'm going to fail you. [Jennifer] Yeah, I should have listened. [Aaron] I warned you. I gave you a little, what do you call it. [Jennifer] Framework, I don't know. [Aaron] Yeah, I gave you a pre-warning. This is what you're getting into. [Jennifer] Okay, so yeah, tough times definitely. Needs not being met. So I'm over here thinking, no, I need this from you and being convinced that I can't continue on in my part until I get what I need. [Aaron] Right, so in our situation specifically, we couldn't have sex. [Jennifer] Yeah, it was painful. [Aaron] And that was very painful. [Jennifer] For me. [Aaron] And I'm thinking, in my mind and in my heart, in my spirit, okay, the one thing that my spouse is supposed to be able to give me directly to me physically is sex, and she can't give it to me. Well then, I'm validated in my sin over here, or I'm allowed to be angry like this, or God, how dare you? And so my love for you was dictated by what you can do for me or what you're not doing for me, and vice versa. You put me on that pedestal of holding you up emotionally and being strong for you when you weren't strong, which husbands should do, but I'm not the main source of that. [Jennifer] Right. [Aaron] I can never fulfill that. That's called idolatry. We can actually put our spouses in a position of God, and what happens is because they're not God, you immediately translate that, we translate that to, oh, they must not love me. [Jennifer] But God is love. [Aaron] God is love, yeah. [Jennifer] Your spouse isn't love, although your spouse is called to love you. God is love. He's the only one that can truly fulfill that. [Aaron] So needs not being met spiritually, emotionally, physically, and I just wanna mention that there are some relationships. I think of veterans that have been hurt physically, or mentally, and they might not be able to fulfill a certain marital role, physically and emotionally and mentally. Does that mean they don't love you? Does that mean you've fallen out of love? No, that's a situation that God's allowed to happen, and that has to be navigated through the Word of God, through the Holy Spirit and patience and perseverance and recognize that those things don't define whether or not you're in love with your spouse or not. And that's a reality for some people. There's some people that will permanently never be able to have sex. [Jennifer] And that's just one thing. [Aaron] That's one thing, yeah. [Jennifer] There's other people who can't walk or can't talk. There's a lot of things. [Aaron] There's people that deal with postpartum depression, wives, moms that go through postpartum depression and might not be able to give emotionally, and that's gonna take a husband to step up more, be like, well, I'm gonna love more right now. I'm not gonna make them feel like I'm abandoning them and skipping out. [Jennifer] Yeah. Okay, so another one would be desiring a different kind of life because of unmet expectations, and you kind of touched on this before, but I struggled with this. I felt like I had these expectations of what marriage should be like. [Aaron] Yeah, what our life should be like, where we should be. [Jennifer] And after years of not receiving that or them being unmet, I started desiring a different kind of life. And that can easily feed a wandering soul. [Aaron] Right, so we fell in love, and we individually had unique pictures of what our relationship would look like, what our life would look like, what our marriage would look like. And so what we do is, well, so I have this picture, picture A, and my marriage is picture Z. Oh, we must not be in love. This must not be right. Something's wrong here. Let's throw this out, start over. And so we look over the fence, or we look other places. So, and this leads to happiness. [Jennifer] Desiring happiness. [Aaron] Desiring happiness. The Bible doesn't promise happiness, but being a Christian should guarantee, if we choose it, joy. [Jennifer] Right, which is more powerful. [Aaron] Which is more powerful, because Paul, when he was naked and beat and in prison, had joy. All the disciples, all of the missionaries and martyrs had joy amidst terrible things. But happiness is not something necessarily promised. Now, happiness can be a fruit of joy, but does lack of happiness equate to lack of love? Like, we're no longer in love, I'm not happy anymore. I wanna speak about this happiness for a second, Jennifer. [Jennifer] I was just gonna say, I hear it all the time. People say, doesn't God want be to be happy? [Aaron] Yeah, well not just doesn't God. They actually, and I don't know who has taught them this, but they literally, they start their message off to us about why they're leaving their husband with saying, God wants me to be happy, and I'm not happy. Therefore, I'm leaving. And so, what they've done is they've literally turned their disobedience and their sin into approval by God, because they've equated happiness to God's will. And that's not true. [Jennifer] Is there a scripture in the Bible that says God wants us to be happy? [Aaron] No. Not to my knowledge. But there's plenty about joy in all circumstances. The joy of the Lord is our strength, and that's something that can come amidst, so if happiness is God's will for us, take that truth, take that gospel, to all of the people suffering through terminal cancer. [Jennifer] Or famine. [Aaron] Or yeah, hunger, or loss of children or worse. I can't even come up with all the situations that a Christian might go through, or even a person, and go to them and saying, hey, God wants you to be happy, and then the moment they're not happy, God doesn't love me, or I'm outside God's will. It's a false gospel. The happiness is good, and it comes. But I think joy, the Bible talks of joy, which is a fruit of the spirit. Happiness is not a fruit of the spirit. So if we equate, again, if we take words and we equal them to other things, like happiness equals love, happiness equals God's will, the moment we're not happy, boom, we're no longer in love, we're not in God's will. We can make all sorts of crazy decisions based off of that equation. And it's just wrong. [Jennifer] So, moving down the list, we have two more. One is just experiencing overall discontentment in life. [Aaron] Right, I'm not happy with what I have. This isn't what I want, that I want more. [Jennifer] Just constantly, like you're playing that mental reel over and over and over again about all the things that make you not content, and then desiring a pain-free or comfortable life, which I think everybody, at the root of their heart, wants a pain-free life. But is that a reality? [Aaron] It's not that we need to pursue that. I don't think that's what our goal is in life. But if our goal is in our marriage, if that's our definition of a good, healthy, loving marriage, 100% of marriages are gonna be let down. But that's why we see such a high divorce rate in the church and in the world, because we've defined love with all of these terms. Comfort, happiness, fulfillment, contentment. And if I don't feel those things, boom, I must not be in love anymore. [Jennifer] Okay, so what's the bottom line? [Aaron] The bottom line is love was never intended to be just a feeling. God gave us these feelings as a gift to accompany our love, but when those feelings disappeared, love doesn't disappear. It's called the honeymoon phase. Like, you're enamored with your spouse. Everything's new and fresh. But what happens when it's not new wand fresh? What happens when life's boring? [Jennifer] Or hard. [Aaron] What happens when life's hard? Love in this situations should grow. [Jennifer] And endure. [Aaron] Yeah, because they endure. The relationship turns into one of stamina, endurance, perseverance. [Jennifer] I Corinthians 13:7 says love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Not some things, not the few things that I can handle. It's all things. So if we say that we love one another, we have to be able to bear all things and endure all things and have that kind of perseverance. [Aaron] And it comes down to, that's what Christ did. He endured the cross, because he loved us. And that's amazing. Even now in the church age, in the age that we live in now where God's grace and mercy is just poured out on the world and he's being patient, it says that his patience and kindness is to lead us to repentance, talking of love. Why doesn't he just strike us all down, because we are sinners, you know? He's righteous; we're not. But he's patient with us, and his love for us is in such a way that he shows us by example of how we should love, in forgiveness and patience and endurance, because that's what Christ did on the cross. He took the sins of the world, that anyone who believes in him will not perish but have everlasting life. That is love, and if Christ can love that way, and this is what God showed me, is if Christ can love you like this, Aaron, what has your wife ever done that's worse than what you or the world has done to me? Nothing. Literally it doesn't matter what you do to me. It's not unforgivable. So I guess I would just say, if love is based on something that we have no control over, something that happens to us, if love is a feeling, then we're literally basing the most beautiful thing that God has ever given us, love, which he is love, it's who he is, and we boiled it down to a fleshly thing. Like, that is a fleeting, like, oh, some might get it, some might not. And I think we should rather look at love as a muscle that needs to be strengthened. [Jennifer] I like that, exercised. [Aaron] Or, actually, here's a better analogy. Love is a seed. You plant a seed, and then you nurture it and you grow it. Our love started, I should say. We didn't fall in love. Our love started back when we were dating, when we were learning each other. [Jennifer] We were attracted to one another. [Aaron] We were attracted. [Jennifer] We chose to spend time with one another. [Aaron] Yeah, back then, our love was so, if you think about it, our love was so immature, because it was based on very vain things, how we looked, how we talked, how we spent time with each other, things that made us laugh. And now, our love is based on. [Jennifer] So much more. [Aaron] Oh my, so much more. Surviving hard things, flourishing in hard things, renewing in the way we think about each other, communication, knowledge. [Jennifer] Ministering to our kids. Ministering to others. [Aaron] Yeah, having children and learning how to become one in our parenting. So our love now is built, it's growing. I wouldn't say it's a big sycamore tree or something. But I would say it's a tree now, where it once was just this seed that could easily be stamped out if we didn't take care of it. So I think that is a more accurate way to take a picture, is that love was something we planted, we chose to plant. Hey, we're gonna take a risk on this seed. We're gonna love this, and let's grow it. So then, if that's the case, then "falling out of love," air quotes again, is really choosing to let the tree die. [Jennifer] Right, which, I mean, going back to that quote by Gary Thomas from Sacred Marriage, biblical love isn't hate; it's apathy. [Aaron] Letting it die. [Jennifer] Letting it die. [Aaron] Stop watering it, stop feeding it, stop giving it sunlight, smother it, and it can even be worse than that, intentionally harming the love because you want out, because you're not happy, and now doing very hateful, wicked things within the marriage. [Jennifer] Being disrespectful, letting your anger lash out. [Aaron] Cheating. [Jennifer] Cheating. [Aaron] Yeah, unfaithfulness with your heart, eyes, physically. [Jennifer] All things that are lack of self-control, because you're not exercising that muscle of self-control. [Aaron] So here's another quote from Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas, and it says this: "Christian love is an aggressive movement, "an active commitment. "In reality, we choose where to place our affections," which goes back to, are we gonna choose to nurture our love seed? Feels so weird. But this tree that we're growing together, as we're being weaved together and we're growing this love. And I just love that picture of that. It's an aggressive movement, an active commitment, that we are not going to just whimsically and apathetically see if love continues on without us doing anything, that we're gonna recognize that it's no, no, I'm going to choose again to love you today, and then when something happens, actually, I'm gonna choose right now to love you anyway. [Jennifer] Yeah, and I like that. This quote, you know, when it says in reality, we choose where to place our affections, I think sometimes we can choose to place our affections on what we see outside the marriage. [Aaron] So, let's just give 'em some practical ways, 'cause now we've dispelled it. You don't fall in and out of love. It's a lie the enemy uses to break up marriages all the time, and as mature Christians, we're gonna pursue loving our spouses the biblical way and saying, yes, Lord, I'm gonna choose to love, because you are love, and I wanna love like this. So what are some practical things that the couples listening can start thinking about, start pursuing and saying, oh, we're gonna invest in this seed that we've planted, at whatever point that seed was planted. [Jennifer] Okay, so first thing I would say is intimacy. I think I had this idea in our marriage that intimacy just happened, and it was something that was natural. [Aaron] It was always gonna be magical. [Jennifer] Yeah, I came to find out, it's actually something that needs to be planned for and prepared for. [Aaron] Sought after. [Jennifer] And requires intentionality. And so, I would say, be intentional in pursuing one another in those ways. And intimacy is a lot of different things. It's not just physical. It's also in the way that you communicate and just being thoughtful of one another. [Aaron] Yeah, but intimacy, the physical intimacy cannot be neglected. [Jennifer] Sure, so important. [Aaron] But the emotional intimacy can't be neglected either. [Jennifer] Either, yeah. [Aaron] The Bible, I just wanted to bring this up, it uses the word knew or knowledge when it comes to physical intimacy in the Bible. It says so-and-so knew so-and-so, and it's talking about sex. This intimacy we're talking about, it's radical transparency, radical openness, that you're not afraid to be naked emotionally, naked physically, naked spiritually before your spouse, and that you know each other, and that's a lifelong pursuit. So, and that combats falling out of love, or feeling like you're falling out of love, or in the truth, choosing to not love anymore. [Jennifer] Yeah, and if you do feel like, you know, not that you're apathetic towards one another, but that you just have some isolating tendencies going on in your marriage, be the first one to initiate intimacy. [Aaron] Yeah, go open those doors, go open those windows. Let light in. [Jennifer] Okay, another one is have an eternal perspective and a hope that fuels your heart so that you can persevere. Having a hope for why we're doing this thing called marriage and what we have to look forward to changed the way that we were able to persevere in our relationship. [Aaron] Yeah, and so recognizing that my wife is also my sister in the Lord. Like, the Bible tells us how to interact with our brothers and sisters in Christ. Then I get to see her and say, well, I'm gonna treat her well. She's my closest neighbor, so I'm gonna love her as myself. I'm gonna use the gifts that God's given me to bless her and to serve her. And so if we recognize that, that we are both part of the body, then we're not gonna mistreat and take advantage of and do things that we wouldn't do to another believer. So, another one is discipline yourself in walking faithfully and humbly. [Jennifer] So real quick, I just wanna read one another quote. I know this is a heavy Gary Thomas episode. [Aaron] Well, this book was hugely influential on our marriage. [Jennifer] Yeah, if you guys haven't read Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas, you should definitely go grab a copy. But on page 156, it says this: "One of the great spiritual challenges for any Christian "is to become less self-absorbed. "We are born intensely self-focused. "The discipline of Christian marriage "calls us into the Christian reality of sharing "and enjoying fellowship in a uniquely intimate way. "Maintaining an interest in and empathy for someone else "is by no means an easy discipline to maintain, "but it is a vital one. "It is a skill that must be learned." I love this quote, because I think it's so important to recognize that there is discipline required of us, and there's an obligation, like I said earlier, to one another, to love one another, but to also enjoy fellowship with each other, which is what Gary's saying right here, and to maintain an interest for, an empathy for each other, and again, he says this isn't easy, but it is vital, and it's something that we need to learn. Like you said, it's a muscle that we should be exercising. [Aaron] Yeah, a lot of times, the Bible uses the term walk in love. So it's something that you walk out on a daily basis. In I John, it says practice righteousness. So these are things that we get to practice toward each other, with each other, for each other, on a daily basis, on a moment by moment. And even if you're in a super, super hard situation and season of your marriage, you can right now choose to walk in love with your spouse. [Jennifer] And truly, this is walking in maturity. This is what makes us mature, is by choosing to walk this way. [Aaron] Yeah, so again, walking in maturity. I would say be okay with hardship, and ask God how it can be used to mature you, to mature us? So God, this season's hard. God, I don't feel in love. I don't feel close to my spouse. Help me, show me how I should see correctly. Show me where I can change. Show me how I can love my wife still, love my husband still. How can I serve them? Help me do it in your Spirit. And then another one is the last one, actually, is recognize there's something greater at risk. It's what we talk about in the Marriage After God book, is that our marriages are meant for more than just happily ever after. Having a good, strong, healthy, mature, growing, thriving, loving, intimate marriage isn't for that alone. That's not the end. It's the means to the end. The end is that we are witnesses for Christ, that we are preaching the gospel with our words and our lives, that our marriages are pictures of the gospel to the world, that the husband represents Christ, that the wife represents the church, that their relationship represents an unconditional love that Christ had for his church, and how we interact with each other and how we raise our children and how we treat each other. And so, and not just that, but in I Timothy chapter three, it talks about the ministry of an overseer in a church and how it's a noble task, it's a noble thing for any believer to pursue, any man in the church, and it talks about having one wife and managing their home well, and it says, how can you manage the household of God if you can't manage your own home, right? If there's no self-control within me, if there's no love between me and my wife, if my children don't honor me and cherish me, those are things that the Bible says are results of how we choose to walk with our spouse. And our authority, our power, our message gets diluted or destroyed when we don't love that way. When love is something that we can just fall out of, what it essentially is saying is God can just fall out of love. Like, oh, today I don't love you anymore. And that's just false. He is love. He cannot not love us. And so, we need to show that. And so the greater thing that's at risk is the gospel. And when we don't have a correct understanding and definition of love in our marriage and what that looks like, we show an incorrect gospel to the world. And we need to recognize that. [Jennifer] So, the beginning of this episode started with can you fall out of love in marriage. That wouldn't be the right way to say it. It would be, are you choosing to not love your spouse anymore? And so I think that this is a really important topic, and it's something that we should address, even if maybe you're not feeling this way. If you feel like you love your spouse and you're walking the way you should be biblically, I think it's still important to address some of these things and these practical things that we've brought up and just see, you know, evaluate your marriage and see, are you walking the way that God wants you to be walking, and are you choosing love, regardless of your circumstances and regardless of anything else that's going on? [Aaron] Yeah, and maybe you're not, like Jennifer said, not at that place of not in love anymore, but are you choosing apathy? Are you just not caring? [Jennifer] Are you being lazy? [Aaron] Yeah, are you being lazy? And I think that's something that we should be aware of and repent of if we are. If we're being lazy in our marriage, then we're not loving. We're kind of being self-focused and hoping that our husband or our wife is gonna love us the way we wanna be loved, but we're not gonna give the love the way we wanna be loved. I just don't think that's the way a Christian should walk, and I think we need to, I mean, I'm guilty of this sometimes and need to change. Like, I'm being lazy, I'm gonna step up, I love you. Let's work on this, let's grow, let's water this tree. [Jennifer] I love it. Okay, we wanna invite you guys to join us in prayer. Dear Lord, may we always choose love. May we always have hearts that are motivated by love to be unified, pursuing intimacy and peace in marriage. Thank you for equipping us and empowering us by your Holy Spirit to choose to love unconditionally and sacrificially. We pray against our flesh from getting in the way, and we pray against our selfish ways. Please continue to sanctify us and transform us so that we would be more like you. Protect our marriage from the threats of the enemy and his evil desire to tear us down. Lord, please help us to be unified as one and help us to love each other in the way we interact with each other every day. May our commitment to remain steadfast in our love for each other glorify you in our marriage. In Jesus's name, amen. [Aaron] Amen. Hey, we just wanna thank everyone for listening this week, and we pray that this episode blessed you. We pray that it's gonna cause some good conversations, and we look forward to having you next week. Did you enjoy today's show? If you did, it would mean the world to us if you could leave us a review on iTunes. Also, if you're interested, you can find many more encouraging stories and resources at marriageaftergod.com and let us help you cultivate an extraordinary marriage.

In I John 2: 28--3:10 the Apostle John reminds us of Christ's coming and of our identity in Him and speaks very directly about the issue of sin in our lives. He writes “The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the devil's work.” What is the devil's work that Jesus came to destroy? How did Jesus destroy it? How does sin affect our relationship with God?

In I John 2: 28--3:10 the Apostle John reminds us of Christ's coming and of our identity in Him and speaks very directly about the issue of sin in our lives. He writes “The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the devil's work.” What is the devil's work that Jesus came to destroy? How did Jesus destroy it? How does sin affect our relationship with God?

In I John 2-18-28, John writes to help us to not be ashamed at the coming of Jesus.- In this message, we unpack lessons for how to do that, as well as John's exhortation to watch out for those who are against us.

http://www.biblestudytools.com/ezekiel/passage/?q=ezekiel+36:26-29 (Ezekiel 36:26-29a) In physical life, emotional life, relational life, and spiritual life the heart is absolutely essential. February is often spoken of as the month of love. Because of Valentine's Day, we emphasize love between men and women in a romantic sense, but it's a good month for us to remember all expressions of love, matters of the heart. In I John 4:7, 8 it says, “Beloved, let us love one another for love is of God and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. He who does not love does not know God, for God is love.” The heart is essential to the expression of love in human life. A song in a musical says, “You gotta have heart. Miles and miles and miles of heart.” Our heart is physically critical – pumping blood in our circulation systems. The heart is vital to good health, to strength of energy, to stamina. No wonder the Bible uses the term “cardia” (translated heart) more than one thousand times. The heart is our emotional center ranging from joy to sorrow, from turmoil and inner storm to peace, from feeling troubled inside to rejoicing, from be filled with love to being consumed with selfish ambition and lust. We might be filled with fear or have a deep trust of the heart. We might be full of pride or humility. We might be discouraged to lose heart or encouraged to take heart. People speak of the heart as the seat of our desire, the source of our passions. It might be envy or lust. If the passion is directed to the One who gave us life – God – people would say, I seek the Lord my God with all my heart. How is your heart today? The heart is a place of understanding, wisdom, and insight. It is also spoken of as our moral center. When Peter preached on Pentecost Day, he talked about how the sinfulness of humanity has caused the death of Jesus, the Son of God, on the cross. Scripture says the people were “cut to the heart.” They had a conviction of their responsibilities, their sinfulness, and they asked Peter, “What should we do?” Peter responded, “Repent and believe in the Lord Jesus Christ.” The heart is important to our relationship with God. Jesus once said, “These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me.” As I prepared to share this message, I read an article by Mark DeJesus who wrote, “8 Signs You Have a Broken Heart.” The first sign he listed was someone has an untrusting approach to relationships. All too often we can have promises made that are violated. Somebody might abandon us, and as a result of people's lies and deception, we have difficulty trusting in relationships. Another sign we might have a broken heart is that we have unrelenting struggles with fear and anxiety and worry. We're just paralyzed by those fears because we've been hurt too often in the past. The third sign that your heart is broken is you have a hard time processing love, either in the giving of love or the receiving of love from someone when it's offered to you. Again, almost as a way to protect our emotional vulnerability, we shut off the spigot of our love and we don't give it or allow it to penetrate our inner soul. Another sign that our heart might be broken is if we react in a volatile way, especially a dominant feeling of anger. It's like we've been hurt so often, disillusioned so often, that it is our immediate response. The fifth thing that DeJesus said is, “You have a broken heart if your body begins to break down.” He quotes Proverbs 17:22, “A merry heart does good like medicine for the soul, but a broken heart dries up the bones.” Have you ever met someone who is seemingly healthy in every way except for the fact that they have been through some emotional trauma and, as a result of comprehensive physical health, was suffering? Often our hearts are broken when we are stuck in dysfunctional patterns of life. We may even find those patterns of behavior to be undesirable and unhealthy, yet we still continue

What comes to mind you think of the word “light?” What does it do, and how does it do it? In I John 1-2:2, we’re told about the distinctions between lightness and darkness.

The world around us is full of deceit. Whether you realize it or not. I’m talking about things that look and seem enticing, but in the end will lead to complete destruction. You see, this is the same with anti-gospel influences in the marketplace and even the world today. In I John 4:1-3, the Bible […] The post Recognizing Deceit appeared first on Ministry in the Marketplace.