Youth Culture Today with Walt Mueller

“Home is where the heart is.” That cliché is a great descriptor of the way that a little child's life revolves around family and home. Then, the teenage years arrive and something begins to change. Because they are now growing up, teenagers begin the process of disengaging from the kind of ties they've had with you as they begin to focus more and more time on building relationships with their peers. Even though the shift is normal, it can be quite painful to watch your kids trade family time for friend time. These new relationships with friends serve as a bridge between the dependence of childhood and the independence of adulthood. But never, never, never forget this fact: You are still vital! Research and observation have shown that we must remain engaged and available to our teens. Teens whose parents are absent from their lives as a result of choice or circumstance are teens who hurt deeply. You are important and significant in their lives!

All this week we've been looking at the recent Surgeon General's warning on the Harms of Screen Use in the lives of our children and teenagers. One of the valuable aspects of the report is the list of recommended steps we can take in our homes to reduce screen time and all of the negative effects. The report suggests five “Ds”. First, discuss screens, social media, and the negative effects with your kids. Set clear expectations for your kids regarding healthy screen use. Second, you need to do. This means modeling the very screen use behaviors you want to see in your kids. Third, delay screen time from the earliest age and for as long as possible. Then, set clear boundaries on time, place, and content. Fourth, divert your kids away from their screens by providing alternative activities, such as chores, homework, music, and play. Finally, disconnect from your screens, especially at meals and other times when your family is together. Let's Detox from screens as a family!

All this week we're looking at the recent Surgeon General's warning on the Harms of Screen Use in the lives of our children and teenagers. If you're a parent whose been wondering about the effects of screen time on your kids, I encourage you to pause and think about exercising your God-given responsibility to nurture your kids well by setting clear borders and boundaries on screen time. The advisory tells us that in teenagers there are clear mental health and behavioral concerns related to social media use. Higher screen time is linked to anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and body image concerns. Researchers have found clear links to higher levels of family conflict, aggression, poor relationships with friends, and the use of tobacco, alcohol, and drugs. In addition, almost half of all teens have experienced cyber-bullying. Parents, our highest calling it to lead our kids into a vital relationship with Jesus Christ. Are you allowing screens to become an idol in your home?

All this week we're looking at the recent Surgeon General's warning on the Harms of Screen Use in the lives of our children and teenagers. The report tells us that the content our kids see on their screens matters, and screen use is most likely to cause harm to children and adolescents when one or more of the following content features is present. First, the content is designed to increase use through features like rewards, which encourage daily play and prompt the algorithms fed to our kids. Second, some content promotes risky behaviors like self-harm, disordered eating, violent behavior, substance abuse, sexual practices, or viral social media challenges. Third, there's the ever present danger of interaction with strangers and predators who use social media and gaming to exploit, abuse, traffic, and sextort our kids. Fourth, there's the collection of data about our kids that is then used to manipulate the content they're exposed to. Finally, there's the danger of exposure to pornography.

All this week we're looking at the recent Surgeon General's warning on the Harms of Screen Use in the lives of our children and teenagers. The advisory says that screen use may be harmful when a child loses control over their screen use, and warning signs of compulsive behavior begin to manifest in our child's life. Parents, are you seeing any of the following warning signs? Spending too much time on screens or constantly thinking about them. Repeatedly asking to use screens, often while whining, crying, or sulking. Using screens to feel better and becoming upset or moody when screen time ends. Hiding or lying about screen use. Getting defensive when asked about screen use. Trying unsuccessfully to reduce screen use. Showing symptoms of withdrawal when screens are not available. Prioritizing screen time over responsibilities, family time, and other activities. And finally, continuing to engage with their screens despite the disciplinary negative consequences.

Late last Spring, the United States Surgeon General issued an advisory warning regarding how to protect children and teens from the harms of screen use. The advisory tells us “harmful screen use among children and adolescents has become a public health concern”, with screen exposure often beginning before a child's first birthday and then increasing as children age. In fact, by the time they reach adolescence, children may spend more time on screens than sleeping or attending school. If you're a parent, I'm sure you're aware of the many ways screen use is affecting your kids, and it's usually not in a positive manner. The advisory warns us that “harmful screen use, particularly on social media is linked to developmental, mental, and physical health challenges and poor educational outcomes.” Parents, because God has called us to protect our children from harm, we'll be spending each day this week learning more about the Surgeon General's advisory.

Last spring I was watching the local news when I saw a story about a group of ten teenagers who were riding e-bikes while being chased by the police. It all happened in broad daylight, as the kids vandalized school athletic fields, stopped traffic on a busy street, and injured a man  by riding past and kicking him, all while shouting profanities. Because electronic bikes can be customized to travel at speeds higher than forty-five miles an hour, all of the riders got away from the police and were never caught. Parents, e-bikes are everywhere and chances are your kids already have one or will be pestering you for one. Be aware of the local regulations, many of which are being formed, debated, and enacted even as we speak. These bikes are dangerous, and it's your God-given responsibility to ensure the safety of your kids, teaching them to ride not only with care, but with respect for others. Yes, all of our activities, even riding a bike, should be seen as an act of worship!

It hurts to watch our kids suffer. In a youth culture pervaded by bullying, our kids may sometimes suffer injustice at the hands of others. Sometimes, their suffering is brought on by choices they've made. At other times, circumstances related to illness or accidents are the cause of their suffering. The Scriptures teach us that because of the flawed nature of ourselves and our world, we should not be surprised by difficulty and suffering. In fact, times of difficulty, pain, and suffering are what God uses to draw us to Himself, to conform us to His likeness, and to whittle off all that extra “fluff” that keeps us from maturing in our faith. The Psalmist knew this to be the case. In Psalm 119:71 we read, “My suffering was good for me, for it taught me to pay attention to your decrees.” When our teens suffer, it might actually be good for the simple reason that God is at work in their lives. While we want to see them thrive in a life free of hurt and pain, suffering can be good.

Several years a thirty-something friend of mine called to tell me what happened to him while he was driving. His heart began beating out of his chest. His face turned red, and he began to sweat profusely. Thinking he was having a heart attack, he drove to the ER, only to learn he was over-consuming caffeine. Because of the way caffeine can effect one's physical health, experts are increasingly concerned about the use of caffeine products among our children and teens. For several years now, caffeine-infused energy drinks have been the target of warnings. Now, kids are using caffeine pouches as a pick-me-up, which are placed between the cheek and gums to deliver a quick dose of caffeine into the bloodstream, each one being equal to up to two cups of coffee. There are a host of side effects, along with tolerance and withdrawal. Parents, teach your kids to stay away from caffeine pouches as a way to steward the health of their bodies to the glory of God.

One of the most heart-breaking and difficult aspects of being a Christian parent who longs to see his kids embrace and mature in their own faith, is the rocky nature of adolescent faith. Much of their “wavering” is simply a part of the teenage territory and the process of adopting their family's faith as their own. But maybe an even greater amount of that wavering is rooted in their humanness. . . a reality that we share with them. Let's face it – we are all sinful and fallen people whose lives – just like the lives of so many Biblical characters – have always been marked by periods of doubt, struggle, problems, and failures. The Bible is filled with stories of rebellious human beings who were called by God to be His people, but who often stubbornly followed their own will and way. Becoming transparent with our kids about the presence of these realities in our own lives can be liberating for them. It not only allows them to see us in our full humanity and dependence on God, but it gives them permission to struggle, doubt, and sometimes fail. 

I still can't stop thinking about something that happened back in May and the college commencement season. There were several news reports that popped up regarding the response of graduating students to things that their commencement speakers were saying. It seems that concerns over Artificial Intelligence spurred on choruses of boos at a variety of schools where the commencement speakers were touting AI. One of the main reasons for the pushback is the fact that college graduates are watching the quick advance of AI and wondering if the technology will actually take their place in the job market. During a recent dinner out in a restaurant, I interacted with a waitress who had graduated with a dual degree in IT and Marketing. She blamed her lack of a job on the presence of AI in those fields. I believe that the response of these students is warranted as we have to tap the brakes and exercise caution regarding the space we carve out for Ai in our lives.

Every now and then I come across some words from a social media influencer that are good, true, right, and helpful. That's what I encountered on an Instagram reel posted by Matt Chenard. In his post on anxiety, Chenard shares four steps he takes when he feels anxious and depressed, steps that we can share with our kids. First, pray about the good things in your life. Thank God for His goodness and blessings. Second, pray about what's on your heart. Tell God what it is you are anxious about. Surrender it to Him and ask Him to carry it. Third, pray for wisdom and discernment to know what you can and can't control. Pray for wisdom on how to best take action on that which you can control. And fourth, speak truth to your mind and heart. Meditate on God's Word. Read it to yourself, making His truth louder than the lies the world would have us believe. I love these four steps, and I believe they can be used in transformative ways to help your kids battle their anxiety.

There's a story about a thirteen year old boy and something that happened to him on a day in April nineteen fifty nine that reminds me of a way we parents should be praying regularly for our kids. Steve Saner was growing up in Cincinnati and was big fan of the Reds. Without his parents knowing it, Saner would often skip school on game days to head over to Crosley field to catch a game. He would move around the stadium, trying to catch balls that would go into the stands. On that day in in nineteen fifty nine, Saner was standing behind the right field fence when the Red's Ted Kluszewski hit a home run over the outstretched glove of Pirate's right fielder Roberto Celemente. A news photographer from the Cincinnati Enquirer captured a photo of the moment, and when Saner's father saw his son's picture in the paper, the boy's cover was blown. Saner was caught! So, what should we pray? That our kids' sin will be exposed, so that we have an opportunity to set them straight!

Last Spring I had two of my grandkids with me during a visit to the community where I spent my elementary and middle school years. I was prompted to take a trip down memory lane when right at noon, the fire whistle at the local volunteer fire department let out that familiar siren. I stopped dead in my tracks. “Did you hear that?” I asked the kids. “Yes”, they replied. “That's the twelve-o'clock whistle, and there's another one that will go off again at five pm.” During the 1960's it was those regularly timed test whistles that my mother was talking about whenever she sent us out the door play, telling us to come home for lunch when you hear the twelve o'clock whistle, and home for dinner when you hear the five o'clock whistle. We were involved in what was called unsupervised and unstructured free play. Researchers now tell us that this is what builds resiliency and agency in kids. Parents, we help our kids when we pull back on the helicopter parenting.

I once heard someone say, you tell me how your spend your time, and I'll tell you who or what your God is. For kids growing up in today's over-scheduled smartphone-saturated world, it's reasonable to assume that most kids spend far too little time or no time at all reading and studying their Bibles. This means that they spend more time focused on nurturing their allegiance to the idols of this world, rather than on nurturing their relationship with the One true God. We need to make it priority one to model regular Bible reading to our kids, while involving them in learning how to read the Bible by reading with us. Teach your children read the Bible regularly. Teach your children to read the Bible rightly, by seeking to understand it's intended meaning rather what they might think it means. And finally, read the Bible repetitiously, pondering, meditating on, and re-reading a passage. Parents, lead your children into embracing a hunger and thirst to know God's Word. 

I have an eleven year old grandson who has a history of asking deep theological questions that are not always easily answered. For example, he recently asked how old Adam and Eve were when they sinned. I wasn't quite sure how to answer that question as we don't really know. However, his curious mind was at work, so we were able to talk about our first parents and their rebellion against God. In a recent article, Lauren Groves, author of the Toddler Theology board book series, tells us that it's never too early to teach theology to our kids. Parents, you need to know that the culture is catechizing our kids twenty four seven. They are constantly learning. This means that we need to take the words of Deuteronomy six seriously by looking for and taking any and every opportunity to teach our kids from birth about the things of the Lord. We are called to pass down the truths of the faith to the next generation. Are you taking the time to teach your kids about God?

One of the most important lessons we as Christian parents need to learn is that, as the Bible says, salvation is of the Lord. We cannot drag our kids kicking and screaming into God's Kingdom. It is the Holy Spirit that does that work. Consider these words from Dr. Dan Doriani in his book, “A Man After God's Own Heart”: “Commands can change the behavior of children or employees, if you have the ability to punish disobedience. But law, by itself, never renews the heart. The love and grace of God change us. The truth changes people if the Spirit has renewed them and given them ears to hear. But teachers, and parents, don't have the power to change hearts. We cannot make people do what is right. In short, the root of obedience is God's prior grace and fruit of obedience is conformity to his person and plans.” Parents, our greatest desire for our kids must be to see them come to know, love, and faithfully serve Jesus Christ. Ask the Holy Spirit to do His work in their lives.

The online sports media platform RG recently ran a piece on gambling addiction in adolescents and young adults. The story caught my eye as we here at CPYU believe that sports gambling is the next big frontier for adolescent addiction. Listen to what RG says about peer influence and the role of social circles in teen gambling: Peer influence plays a significant role in gambling behaviors among adolescents and young adults. During this stage, individuals are heavily influenced by their social circles, often adopting behaviors and attitudes that align with those of their peers. If gambling is normalized within a peer group, individuals may feel pressure to participate to gain social acceptance or maintain friendships. Social media and online communities frequently promote gambling as an exciting or glamorous activity, creating a digital environment that reinforces risky behavior.” Parents, talk to your kids about online gambling, and monitor their online activity to prevent them from taking part. 

We live in a current cultural climate that teaches our children to avoid pain and pursue pleasure. While none of us like pain and we do like pleasure, the reality is that we live in a broken world where pain and suffering do exist. God promises to alleviate all pain and suffering when Jesus returns to usher in the new heavens and the new earth and God's shalom is restored, but we do live in that in between time where suffering actually becomes a tool for God's glory and our good. You see, our suffering is used by God to take us out of ourselves so that we might lean into Him. It's a kind of wake-up call he uses to conform us to His image. We need to teach our kids a good theology of suffering. The Psalmist writes, “It is good for me that I was afflicted, that I might learn your statutes.” Christian counselor Ed Welch tells us, “Suffering is God's surgery that leads to health when responded to by faith.” Teach your kids that God is always at work in their lives, even in their suffering.

A few years ago, a Harris Poll uncovered some data regarding the attitudes of Gen Z toward technology. Keep in mind that this is the generation born between 1997 and 2012, the first of which could experience the iphone when they were ten years old. The research found that eighty percent of Gen Z was concerned that their generation has become too dependent on technology. Three-quarters of them expressed concern about how social media was impacting their mental health in negative ways. And sixty percent wished they could turn back the clock and live in a day and age before everyone was plugged into digital devices. In other words, what they were longing for was a time they themselves never experienced, but somehow knew was better. I wonder if your kids feel this way. If they share these concerns, invite them to shut down for a period to experience life without all the distractions. Encourage them to experience connections that aren't digital.

According to a survey conducted by the Girl Scouts of the USA organization, our girls are feeling a growing amount of anxiety regarding their futures. The survey found that fifty-four percent of girls ages five to thirteen say that the idea of becoming an adult is scary or overwhelming. For girls ages eleven to thirteen, the number feeling the same wariness about the future is sixty percent. The survey reports that one not-at-all-surprising reason for this anxiety is the presence of social media and what the survey refers to as growing up in a hyper-digital world. One remedy suggested by the Girl Scouts of the USA is a remedy that should be readily available in the church. That is, providing girls with older mentors who will walk through life with them, offering them the kind of presence and support that will not only steer them in the right direction, but facilitate the growth of resiliency. You've heard it said that it takes a village to raise a child. Look for kids to mentor at your church.

From time to time I have given you updates on teenagers and drug use. The latest data from the National Institute on Drug Abuse show us that while the use of drugs and alcohol continues to be a problem among our kids, there is some good news. The majority of our teenagers report no use of substances during the previous thirty day period. Ninety one percent of eighth graders, eighty two percent of tenth graders, and sixty six percent of twelfth graders report using no marijuana, alcohol, or nicotine in the last thirty days. This trend reflects a steady decline that's held since twenty twenty. However, the most frequently used substances by our kids are alcohol, nicotine via vaping devices, and marijuana. What this means is that our work is not done. The ready availability of these substances coupled with the adolescent bent towards experimentation and self-medication, requires our constant diligence, our educational efforts, and our willingness to intervene when necessary.

Something is trending among British teenagers that has left us wondering if we will ever see it here. A survey of two thousands parents and their teenage children offered some insight into how social interactions are changing in our increasingly digitized world. Ninety two percent of the teenagers surveyed said that they are much more comfortable and at ease communicating with someone via text or emoji than they are at communicating face-to-face. In addition, fifty-six percent of the teens surveyed are uncomfortable engaging in small talk, and they admit that they'd go to lengths to avoid it. And finally, twenty four percent of the teens say they cannot deliver a handshake that's confident. Parents, I'm guessing that you were trained to look people in the eye, carry on a conversation, and deliver a firm handshake. We need to foster face-to-face intergenerational communication, and our churches are a great place for making that happen!

There's a common scene in old western movies where a weary traveler comes into town, ties up his horse in front of the tavern, and steps to the bar. The bartender always asks, “What'll you have?” If you ask that question of teenagers looking to quench their thirst with something other than water in today's world, the number one beverage of choice is energy drinks. Researchers at Piper Sandler say that thirty nine percent of respondents choose energy drinks over coffee, which is number one for thirty one percent, and soda, which is number one for thirty percent. Yes, our kids love their caffeinated beverages. But since we are called by God to steward our kids' physical well-being, we should be aware of what one Texas cardiologist, Dr. Ravi Ashwarth, is saying. He's seeing more kids who use these drinks coming in with heart palpitations, anxiety, chest pains, and shortness of breath. He gives us this directive: “energy should not come from the can. It should come from health.”

Some new research reported in the World Journal of Pediatrics offers some compelling data regarding the connection between the borders and boundaries put on screen time use, and a child's video gaming behavior. Researchers found that greater screen time on the part of parents, combined with the habits of allowing screen use at meals and in the bedroom, and using screens to manage behavior, was linked to some concerning outcomes in the lives of their kids. What were these concerning outcomes?Kids raised in these kinds of homes showed a higher level of later use of mature-related games, problematic video game use, and greater amounts of weekend gaming time. We shouldn't be surprised that our screen-time borders and boundaries, or lack thereof, influences our child's behavior. Parents, we are called to lead our kids to spiritual maturity. Take stock of the example you are giving, make changes, and prepare your child for a lifetime of flourishing in their faith.

Last year, the Gallup organization released the results of their latest American Values Index. Respondents were given a list of twenty-three values and were asked to choose all of those values that were important to them. Finishing at the top of the list were family, with forty nine percent placing that as most important, and Freedom, with thirty-percent placing that at number one. Rounding out the top ten in this order following family and freedom, were health, integrity, faith, trustworthiness, happiness, respect, kindness, and knowledge. It's encouraging to see these results. The key, however, to bearing fruit from these values is that we choose to prioritize and functionally live out the values we say that we hold. As Christians, we know the family is a creational institution, established by God, as one male and one female enter into a covenantal marriage, then bearing the fruit of children. Parents, spend time with your kids, and diligently nurture them in the faith.

All this week we've been looking at some great quotes that help us to look deeply into who we are and how our culture has shaped us and our kids. Here's quote from C.S. Lewis: "If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world." These words are especially helpful as we live in a  materialistic, market-driven world. With our teenagers seeing thousands of marketing messages a day, there's no doubt that many of those messages sink in, convincing them that their lives will be complete if they just make this one purchase, acquire this one thing, or get to experience this one great experience. Those who are older know what that's all about. We also know from experience that no matter what promises are made, they are never fulfilled. Lewis reminds us that we have been made by God and for a relationship with God. 

All this week we're looking at some great quotes that help us to look deeply into who we are and how our culture has shaped us and our kids. Here's one from writer G.K. Chesteron: “Christianity has died many times and risen again; for it had a God who knew the way out of the grave.” Chesterton's words hold true today in a cultural climate where the threats to deep and meaningful Christian faith run deep and wide. Researchers with the National Study of Youth and Religion are telling us that the shape of faith for Christian kids is anything but Christian. Researchers have labeled this faith “Moralistic, Therapeutic, Deism.” What this means it that kids believe their purpose in life is to be good and feel happy, and God exists to help make that happen whenever they decide they need him. Sadly, this is not Biblical faith. True biblical faith is that God has saved them, and that they exist to bring glory to Him.

All this week we're looking at some great quotes that help us to look deeply into who we are and how our culture has shaped us and our kids. Journalist Dorothy Day wrote these thought-provoking words: “If I have achieved anything in my life, it has been because I have not been embarrassed to talk about God.” Parents, how much time do you spend talking about God? And when you talk about God, what is it that you tell your kids? Research from the National Study of Youth And Religion points to the fact that America's teenagers and young adults have little or no knowledge about God. When asked to verbalize what they know about God, few have anything to say. Much of their confusion is rooted in the fact that there haven't been any adults committed to teaching them about who God is and who He's called them to be. Parents, study the Scriptures, know God, and teach your kids.

All this week we're looking at some great quotes that help us to look deeply into who we are and how our culture has shaped us and our kids. Here's one from C.S. Lewis: “A world of nice people, content in their own niceness, looking no further, turned away from God, would be just as desperately in need of salvation as a miserable world. . . and might even be more difficult to save.” What do Lewis's words have to do with today's youth culture? Sadly, research is pointing to the fact that many kids and adults – some who claim to be followers of Jesus Christ – believe that salvation depends not on the free grace and sacrifice of our Lord Jesus Christ, but on our works and living as a nice person. But the Scriptures are clear: our salvation is a free gift of God that depends on our trusting in him alone. Teach your kids the truth about the saving grace God shows to us, through his son, Jesus Christ.

Here's a thought-provoking quote that I recently ran across from Ralph Waldo Emerson - “A person will worship something, have no doubt about that. That which dominates our imaginations and our thoughts will determine our lives and our character. Therefore, it behooves us to be careful what we worship, for what we are worshipping we are becoming.” You may now be wondering why I would use time on a spot about today's youth culture to share an old quote from someone who's not living. Well, there's great wisdom in Emerson's words, wisdom that holds true for our kids and even ourselves as we live in today's world. You see, all kinds of potential idols jockey for our attention and allegiance. And even though we claim to be followers and worshippers of Jesus Christ, it's easy to slip into worship of something else. Take a look at your life. What do you worship? And what are you modeling for your kids? 

This is a big weekend for those of us living here in the United States. Tomorrow, we celebrate the two hundred and fiftieth anniversary of our nation, or, what's called our Semiquincentennial. You've no doubt experienced the buildup and even some anniversary events, where the main theme of these celebrations is freedom. This weekend's events give us a great opportunity to teach our kids about true freedom, which is the freedom which comes through a relationship with Jesus Christ. Take some time to read and talk about John chapter eight, verses thirty one to thirty eight. This is where Jesus says, “If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth and truth will set you free. If the son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” True freedom is not the ability to do whatever we want whenever we want. True freedom comes when we are liberated from sin's power and penalty through the death of Christ on the cross, and living obediently to His glory!

One of the great responsibilities we have as parents raising kids in today's screen-saturated world is the prevention and treatment of what's now known as digital fatigue. Also known as “tech burnout”, digital fatigue occurs when the excessive use of digital devices like a smartphone and the constant connection to the online world becomes exhausting. We live in a world of over-stimulation, where notifications and other prompts continually increase screentime. What occurs is a multi-layered state of exhaustion that's mental, physical, emotional, and yes, spiritual. When screen time takes up most of our time, other important and noble pursuits fall by the wayside, including the time we should be spending in God's Word and prayer. In effect, our screens become idols. They don't give us life. Rather, they suck the life out of us. What we need to do is get our kids to tap-out from screen time, so that they can tap in to the gifts of Jesus Christ, God's Word, and sabbath.

The latest “State of Today's Family” report from Barna includes some interesting insights into how Gen Z is thinking about and practicing marriage. In the years since nineteen fifty, the average age of first marriage has increased by about eight years for both men and women. The average age now for men is thirty, and for women it's twenty-eight. They seem to be waiting longer in order to become more emotionally ready, more financially stable, and more certain of the long-term viability of the marriage. Gen Z is also the least likely generation to say that marriage is important for raising children, with only two-thirds agreeing. This research reminds us of the importance of teaching our kids about God's institution of marriage, equipping them to understand the importance of a covenantal commitment between one man and one woman, and that marriage has been ordained as the place for children to be born. Are you correcting the culture's script for marriage?

Recently, I was reading through a list of projected youth culture trends for 2026 published by the fashion media platform, Qui Talks. One trend that caught my eye is actually quite hopeful, and it's one that we should not only take note of, but work to facilitate. The Qui Talks site calls the trend “The Cozy Comeback”, explaining that it's all about a generation that increasingly finds itself burnt out and desiring a slower pace of life. The site tells us that young people are romanticizing rest – not as laziness, but as survival. In a youth culture world marked by anxiety, constant pressure, and ongoing stimulation, this is not at all surprising, after all, God made us for a rhythm of work and rest. What a great opportunity we have to introduce our kids to the restorative and God-ordained practice of sabbath. The translation of the Hebrew word for Sabbath is translated as “cease” or “desist”, which clearly reminds us of our need to rest. Start with one day, Sunday, to practice Sabbath.

Way back in the year 1750, the famous preacher and theologian Jonathan Edwards preached his farewell sermon in Northampton, Massachusetts. We all know that when people give their parting words, they say things that they deem of the utmost importance. Guidelines that they want to be remembered. Edwards spoke these words that have absolutely no expiration date: “Every Christian family ought to be as it were a little church, consecrated to Christ, and wholly influenced and governed by his rules. And family education and order are some of the chief means of grace. If these fail, all other means are likely to prove ineffectual.” Parents, do you hear what Edwards is telling us? In order to effectively pass on the faith, we must prioritize the Christian education of our children in the home. This means that we not only know and live out God's will and way for our lives ourselves, but we speak truth to our kids, and we do it all without ceasing. Are you committed to this in your home?

One of the most encouraging trends regarding kids and smartphones is the fact that a growing number of school districts are banning phone use and engagement during the school day. Some schools have installed cell phone lockers where kids place their phones at the beginning of the school day, and where they retrieve them when school lets out. Support for cellphone bans in school is on the rise among U.S. adults, with seventy-four percent saying they would support banning middle and high school students from using cellphones during class, and forty-four percent want them banned for the entire day. Researchers at the Pew Internet and Life Project tell us that now, forty-one percent of our thirteen to seventeen year olds support a ban during class time. Whether that number rises or not, it's important that we as adults instill and enforce borders and boundaries that help our kids remain safe. The Lord has called us to protect our kids from harm, and we must!

Now that I have grandkids entering their teenage years, I've got a front-row seat to see what's popular among kids, especially when it comes to shopping and spending money. In today's world, the top categories for teen spending are clothing and other accessories, food and snacks, entertainment and gaming, and experiences with friends, like concerts and other outings. Marketing's push for the maintenance of youthful beauty has our girls spending lots of money on make-up, hair care, and skin care. But don't count out our boys in this last category! Young Gen Z males are spending an average of three-hundred-twenty-four dollars a year on cosmetics, skin care, and fragrances. Because marketing effectively convinces our kids to spend, spend, and spend some more, we need to ramp up our efforts to teach biblical principles on stewardship. In First Timothy six seventeen, we are reminded to not put our hope in wealth, but to put our hope in God. Teach your kids to spend wisely.

When Kentucky mother Holly LaFavers looked at a charge that popped up on her bank account, she panicked. What she found was a Forty-two-hundred dollar charge. Upon further investigation she discovered that her eight-year-old son Liam had ordered seventy thousand dum dum lollipops from Amazon when using her phone. And yes, Liam did it all on purpose as he wanted to share them with his friends. Holly LaFavers was unable to get Amazon to refund her money, so she spread the word in her community about the cases of Dum Dums and was able to sell them to friends and neighbors. Eventually, Amazon stepped up and offered a refund. While the story does put a smile on our faces as we think about well-intentioned Liam, it reminds us that there are times when a phone in the hands of an eight-year-old is risky business. This time, the story turned out ok, but we need to be careful as our kids can see and hear dangerous things. Parents, be diligent with your kids.

If you've got any suspicions that social media is increasing the body image pressures our kids feel, your suspicions are correct. An internal study conducted by Meta, the parent company of Instagram, found that the algorithms were pointing users who already have body image concerns to a disproportionate amount of “eating disorder adjacent” content, which is feeding the pressure these kids already feel over their bodies. In fact, as a result of these algorithmic content feeds, kids with existing body image concerns were being exposed to ten point five percent of their total content being related to body image. For those users who were content with their bodies were seeing only three point three percent of their total content being related to body image. The point here is this: social media algorithms are throwing fuel on the body dysmorphia problem. We need to push back by helping them understand that their identity is not in what they look like. 

Are your kids cheating in school? Have you talked to them about what it means to honor the Lord in their academic pursuits? You might be surprised to learn that according to the International Center for Academic Integrity, a survey of over seventy thousand high school students found that ninety-five percent of students admitted to some form of cheating. Sixty four percent admitted to cheating on a test. And, fifty-eight percent admitted to plagiarism. I've been hearing reports from teachers on how students are cheating these days. Some students take audio notes of test questions immediately after leaving an exam, and then share the audio notes with other students. One report said that a student had a cheat sheet attached to the bottom of his Croc. In Colossians three twenty three we read, “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for me.” Teach your kids to embrace academic integrity as they study to build their minds, and faithfully serve the Lord.

On this weekend when we look forward to celebrating Father's Day, I want to remind the fathers who are listening of their greatest responsibility in life. In Ephesians six four we read this: “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” If we are taking the time to carefully, diligently, and correctly teach the Word of God to our children, we will have fulfilled our highest calling as parents. Writing back in eighteen eighty three, English pastor Robert William Dale has this word for dads that still rings true today. “Parents should care more for the loyalty of their children to Christ than anything besides, more for this than for their health, their intellectual vigor and brilliance, their material prosperity, their social position, and their exemptions from great sorrows and great misfortunes.” Dad, on this weekend when you are celebrated, ask the Lord to lead you into how to best lead your kids.

In a recent interview with NPR about her new book, “Dopamine Kids”, Dr. Michealeen Doucleff, spoke about the tricks and tools that tech companies use to hijack the brains and dopamine systems of our kids. Her book offers up a science-based plan to rewire the brains of our kids, which have been captured by screens. Doucleff tells us that these tricks and tools have been developed and utilized by the gambling industry. But during the 2000s, the tools were adapted by developers to be used in social media and gaming platforms. This is all done as a strategy to keep our kids tethered to their devices, a strategy that we know is working when our kids protest our removal of screens from their hands. Doucleff says that the games and apps are designed to give kids the feeling that their fundamental needs and desires are being met, by releasing dopamine into their brains. As Christians, we know that the greatest need and longing existing in our kids can only be met through a relationship with Jesus Christ.

In the past, we've issued warnings about how kids are consulting with non-human AI chatbots online to get advice on all sorts of things, including mental health issues. The trend is dangerous, as so many of the news and research reports are now telling us. A new peer-reviewed study published on PubMed reports on how these AI chatbots are responding to the questions kids ask about appearance, body image, weight, eating, and diet. The responses reveal that chatbots are providing answers that lean into cultural standards for eating, thinness, and appearance, rather than pointing kids to safe dietary practices. There are legitimate concerns regarding the impact of these answers on kids, particularly the very real possibility of encouraging issues related to body dysmorphia and disordered eating. Parents, we need to set the table for our kids to come to us with these questions by fostering strong relationships that will result in our ability to give biblically-faithful answers to all of their questions.

In First John two sixteen we read these words: “For all that is in the world – the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life – is not from the Father but is from the world.” Those words offer some great directives related to how we present ourselves on social media. I got to thinking about that when I read this directive in a recent edition of TableTalk magazine: “Selfish pride is the antithesis of humility and is the way of the world. If we seek to exalt ourselves at the expense of others, we will produce only strife, and we will not enjoy a lasting exaltation anyway. But if we humble ourselves, God will exalt us.” John Calvin chimes in with this: ‘We emulate and envy, because we desire to be eminent. This is a way wholly unreasonable, for it is God's peculiar work to raise up the lowly, and especially those who humble themselves.” Parents, all of us, especially our kids, are encouraged to trumpet ourselves. Teach your kids to glorify God in all things, rather than themselves.

The structure, complexity, and functioning of the human brain gives glory to God, our Creator! With the advancements being made in brain scans, researchers are seeing just how incredibly magnificent the human brain really is. Recent findings indicate that the brain changes its wiring of neural circuits over the course of our lives. The phase of change known as adolescence kicks off around age nine, and then continues until around the age of thirty-two. While the bodies of our children and teens reach maturity during the teenage years, we have to understand that the brain is not yet fully formed. The last part to develop is the frontal lobe, which is responsible for decision-making and impulse control. Understanding this reality allows us to more fully understand our kids. This should not excuse poor decision-making or behavior during the teen years, but it does explain it. It should also motivate us to fulfill our God-given role to nurture them in the discipline and admonition of the Lord. 

Eric Liddell, the subject of the movie “Chariots of Fire” came to mind recently as I read a news story about a decision made by a 16-year-old teenager from Satellite Beach, Florida. Liddell, a devout Christian, chose not to run his 100 meter heats in the 1924 Olympics because they were being held on a Sunday. Last fall, high school swimmer Michael Alexander Shapira, gave up his place in the Florida 2A state championship meet because the event was set to begin on sundown Friday, which is the start of the Jewish Sabbath. A devout Jew, Shapira received pressure from his coach and teammates to change his mind. Shapira said this: “When you sanctify God's name in public, you show the world what it means to live with faith. This isn't about what I want. It's about who I am.” In February, Shapira was named International Jewish Teen of the Year. Parents, how easily we sacrifice our Sabbath and Sunday worship for youth sports. What are you teaching your kids?

During the months of spring and early summer, suicide attempts among young people tend to rise. Pastoral Counselor Karen Mason offers some great advice on how to interact with a person who you think might be experiencing depression and considering suicide. She says that our job is to recognize when a situation is serious and to take action according to the seriousness of the crisis. Listen non-judgmentally to the person at risk. Become familiar with the suicide risk factors and warning signs. . . a list of which can be found on our website at cpyu.org. Mason says that the best way to assess the seriousness of a situation is to ask the person at risk. As uncomfortable as it may be to ask the person directly, it is the best way to determine risk. In fact, asking directly can create relief for a suicidal person who may have no other idea about how to start a conversation. There is no evidence that asking puts the thought of suicide in a person's mind. So ask. You might be saving a life.

One of the great concerns regarding the growing presence and use of Artificial Intelligence has been labeled as “surveillance capitalism” by writer Shoshana Zuboff. Zuboff defines surveillance capitalism as a system that claims human experience as free raw material for translation into behavioral data. AI takes this raw material, analyzes it, and then harnesses it to nudge, coax, tune, and herd behavior toward profitable outcomes. As it relates to your kids, think of it this way. They spend lots of time online, becoming addicted to social media platforms designed to addict them. Data on their online behavior is consistently collected, as they are being watched. Profiles of your kids are then created from that data, and then sold to companies and marketers who want to reach them with something to sell. In other words, the online attention of our kids is being commodified, which in turn commodifies our kids. Parents, this is just one more caution you need to heed.

Becky Kennedy and Sheryl Zielger are both psychologists who are raising teenagers themselves. I discovered their names in an article they had written for CNBC's online site. The article's title caught my eye: “If you want to raise stronger, more independent kids, give them this: They need it now more than ever say psychologists.” Kennedy and Ziegler cit how many parents today are so filled with the fear of doing something wrong, that they try not to push too hard or enforce too many rules, assuming that doing so might push their kids into stress, anxiety, and a host of other mental health issues. But the two tell us that this is NOT what our kids need. Rather, what our kids need is for us to boldy claim – and in some cases reclaim – our parental authority. They say that now more than ever need us to offer up a safe system, a structure where we are in control. As Christian parents, we know from reading Scripture that this is our responsibility. But are we exercising our God-given authority?

The word “precocious” comes from the Latin word that is translated as “to ripen before.” In our day and age, the word precocious is used to describe something that develops early or before the usual time. We often pair precocious with the word puberty to describe the process of physical maturation in children long before the average age of onset. Now, the word precocious is being coupled with the word love, with precocious love referring to the intense romantic, emotional, and deep attachments kids are forming during their childhood and before adolescence. With research showing that dating breakups among teenagers lead to a greater incidence of suicidal thoughts and actions, we must be concerned for our younger kids who are at an even greater risk if a so-called break-up occurs. We need to be diligent in teaching our kids to prioritize their relationship to the Lord first, knowing that only He can fill the relational hole that so many try to fill with a significant other.