Youth Culture Today with Walt Mueller

For the last few years I've told parents that one strategy for helping their kids fight the body image pressures they feel from marketing is to do a Google search for celebrities without makeup. The classic with and without photos I'd put up were of actress Scarlet Johannsen, who looked like two completely different people when the photos were placed side by side. Sadly, the advances in artificial intelligence now make it possible for us to embrace a desired visual self as we avoid sitting in the hair and makeup chair, and instead have our appearances glamorized by using one of the many online apps. I want to issue a warning about this subtle and dangerous trend. On one level, trying to overcome our perceived appearance flaws exposes our own insecurities and our dedication to the idol of appearance. In addition, it creates pressure on others who now feel the pressure as the result of the comparison. Can't we just be ourselves? Can't we spend our precious time growing in our faith?

On this Labor Day, I want to pose a question to you: Where will your kids land in terms of the vocations they choose when they enter adulthood? How has God uniquely gifted them? What are their interests and abilities? No matter what vocation they choose, one essential lesson we must instill in them while they are still young is this: all work matters to God. I love these words from theologian Abraham Kuyper: "Wherever man may stand, whatever he may do, to whatever he may apply his hand, in agriculture, in commerce, and in industry, or his mind, in the world of art, and science, he is, in whatsoever it may be, constantly standing before the face of his God, he is employed in the service of his God, he has strictly to obey his God, and above all, he has to aim at the glory of his God." Parents, teach your kids that we image God when we engage in our work. Teach them that all work is a form of worship, and that we are to bring glory to God.

All this week we've been looking at helpful insights for Christian parents from Dr. Christian Smith's research on how parents pass their faith on to the next generation. In addition to reminding Christian parents of the role that walking their talk plays in the faith formation of their kids, Smith has found a number of traits that are present in families where the Christian faith is passed on to kids. One of Smith's best and most helpful suggestions is that parents engage in channeling for internalization. What does this mean? Channeling for internalization is a term describing how parents purposefully arrange for their kids to have involvements and relationships that reinforce rather than replace their more direct parental influence on their kids. In other words, we want to get them involved with Christian adults from our church, with a youth group, with a youth pastor, and others who will have a positive spiritual input on your kids. Are you taking the time to make this happen with your kids?

All this week we're looking at helpful insights for Christian parents from Dr. Christian Smith's research on how parents pass their faith on to the next generation. In addition to reminding Christian parents of the role that walking their talk plays in the faith formation of their kids, Smith has found a number of traits that are present in families where the Christian faith is passed on to kids. Parenting style plays a huge role. It is broadly true that the parents who successfully pass on their faith to their children exhibit what is called an authoritative parenting style. There are two crucial traits present in authoritative parenting. First, parents consistently hold their children to clear and demanding expectations, standards, and boundaries in all areas of life. Second, these parents work hard to relate to their children in a manner marked by an abundance of warmth, support, and care. This combination of clear expectations and affective warmth is powerful in a child's spiritual formation.

All this week we're looking at helpful insights for Christian parents from Dr. Christian Smith's research on how parents pass their faith on to the next generation. In addition to reminding Christian parents of the role that walking their talk plays in the faith formation of their kids, Smith has found a number of traits that are present in families where the Christian faith is passed on to kids. One of these traits is that during the normal ebb and flow of daily family life during the week, parents take the time to talk with their children about the Christian faith. Parents look for opportunities to tell their kids what they believe, why they believe it, what the Christian faith means and implies, and why it matters to them. This is not sermonizing. Rather, these are natural, warm, and normal discussions on any number of topics. Those parents who welcome questions from their kids are especially good at opening the door for these conversations. Parents, we need to live and speak our faith.

All this week we're looking at helpful insights for Christian parents from Dr. Christian Smith's research on how parents pass their faith on to the next generation. Smith has found that no other institution or program comes close to the faith-shaping influence of moms and dads. Smith also found that the reason these other influences pale in comparison to parents is the way that moms and dads live out their faith in the context of their day-to-day ordinary lives. Kids who grow up to be committed to Christ almost always have parents who are extremely serious about and committed to their faith. Conversely, parents who are not especially committed, attentive, and intentional in passing on their faith will produce children who are less religious than they are, if they are religious at all. Smith says that parents who want to pass on their faith must believe and practice their faith genuinely and faithfully. You see, kids are not fooled by a parental faith that is purely a performance. 

I have found Researcher Dr. Christian Smith to be a huge help to me in my various roles as a dad, a grandfather, and trainer of youth workers and parents. Smith, who teaches sociology at the University of Notre Dame, has spent over two decades studying the religious and spiritual lives of adolescents. His recent book, Handing Down the Faith: How Parents Pass Their Religion On To The Next Generation, looks at how American parents pass their faith on to their children. Smith says that the good news is that among all possible influences, parents exert far and away the greatest influence on their children's religious outcomes. Smith says that the empirical evidence is clear. In almost every case, no other institution or program comes close to shaping faith as parents do – not congregations, not youth groups, not youth pastors, not Christian schools, not missions projects, and not Christian camps. All this week we'll be looking at what Christian parents can learn from Smith's research.

I recently had conversation with a grandmother who was surprised by some things she had heard her six and eight year old grandchildren saying during a family visit. The young children were asking for downtime, expressing  how they were feeling with the word anxiety, and one even mentioned the need to be alone to decompress. Welcome to the new world of childhood anxiety. The Journal of the American Medical Association reports that between twenty-fourteen and twenty-twenty-three, pediatric visits for anxiety issues rose by more than two-hundred-fifty-percent, from one-point-seven -percent to six-point-one percent. Parents, this warrants our attention on at least two levels. First, we need to release our kids from the pressures of over-scheduling and screen-filled lives. In addition, we need to teach our kids to look to Christ, reminding them to embrace and live the words of First Peter Five, seven: “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”

Have you ever thought about how and why we make the decisions we make? Every decision we make is based on some authority. Same thing goes for our kids. It's highly likely that your kids rely unconsciously on some combination of authorities including peers, family, the media, and their feelings. While all of these authorities can lead us in the right direction and to good decisions, there is one primary authority we are called to live in conscious submission to. It's the authority of the One who formed us, made us, and desires us to find our rightful place in life in a relationship with Him. Perhaps the greatest parental responsibility we have is to teach – through our words and example – that all of life is to be lived under the authority of God. Our own eyes, ears, and lives must be focused on Jesus, who said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me”, and on God's revelation of Himself in the Bible. In many ways, this is the secret to a Godly life.

As the years since the advent of social media have passed, we are learning more about the good, the bad, and the ugly related to this ever-present influence in the lives of our kids. New research from the University of South Queensland in Australia have found that teenagers who frequently use social media are three times more likely to try cannabis than those who use social media occasionally. Published in the Journal of Substance Abuse and Addiction Treatment, the study has links high social media use by teenagers with increased impulsivity and risk-taking, two aspects of teen life that already exist! These behaviors are both strongly associated with substance abuse experimentation. What do our kids encounter on social media? They encounter peer influence, trends, and other content that normalizes risk-taking and the use of substances. Parents, this is one more reminder of the fact that we need to peel our kids away from screens. Are you setting borders and boundaries?

Here's a little phrase you may have heard from your teen in one form or another in response to your efforts to provide parental guidance and direction: “That may be ok for you. But it's not right for me.” Welcome to the emerging world of moral relativism. In today's world, kids are encouraged to create truth for themselves. The only rule is that there are no rules. There is no universal standard of right and wrong. Rather, it's up to the individual to determine what is right and what works for them. Take a look around and you'll see evidence of teens living under the authority of self as they make all kinds of lifestyle choices. The end result of the loss of this shared moral compass is anarchy. Taken to an extreme, your kids won't be choosing to obey you. While it makes our parenting task that much harder, we must confront moral relativism whenever it rears its ugly head in our kids' lives. Carefully point out the contrast between God's never-changing standards, and the ever-changing personal “truths” of moral relativism.

The dictionary defines plagiarism as the act of using another person's words, ideas, or intellectual property and presenting them as your own original work without proper attribution. In the academic world, it's a violation of integrity and a type of cheating. As someone who has been a student and who teaches students, I am well familiar with the need to adopt the highest standards of academic integrity. I know that the best learning comes when we do all the necessary research and writing ourselves. In today's academic world, from elementary school up through post-graduate education, more and more students are caving to the temptation to use Ai to not only do all the research, but to do all the writing as well. One graduate professor I know says that since the advent of Ai, the quality of his student's writing has improved dramatically. He's justifiably concerned about his student's honesty. Teach your kids that as Proverbs eleven three says, “The integrity of the upright guides them."

Parents, the teen years are full of change and emotional ups and downs. I want to encourage you to take your teenagers shifting emotions seriously. I caved in far too often to the temptation to write off my teenagers' emotions as silly and childish. My insensitivity communicated not only that I didn't care, but that I was rejecting them. What I eventually learned is that my kids' emotional resilience depended greatly on the relationship they had with us as parents. They needed us to hang in there with them and to love them despite the emotional highs and lows over what to us, as adults, seemed like trivial stuff. What may seem like an overreaction to us is in reality them handling their lives in the best way they know how. Our job is to realize that they're not yet adults. They don't have our maturity. They're on their way. . . and we need to be sensitive and loving if we are going to fulfill our role to lead them to an emotionally stable adulthood.

If it hasn't yet happened to you, chances are very good that it will. You learn that both you and another person purchased the same item at the same place at the same time, and yet the prices you paid were not the same. Surveillance pricing is the practice of using artificial intelligence technologies and consumer data collection to set individualized prices for goods and services. Also known as dynamic pricing, algorithmic pricing, and personalized pricing, companies change prices based on a persons browsing history, location, and device type. In addition, technology is being used to discover your willingness to pay, which is a strategy used to identify the highest possible price an individual will accept before abandoning the purchase. The reality is that these new marketing techniques are being used to sell to you and your kids. Parents, talk to your kids about these tactics and point them out when you see them. In addition, join the effort to enact legislation to end the practice.

Remember flunking a test? Getting cut from a team? Getting caught drinking? Crossing sexual boundaries? Wrecking the family car? Having to attend summer school? Do you remember hating those moments, feeling like your life was crashing down quickly, and desperately wanting to snap your fingers to make it all disappear? Chances are that you now look back on those times of failure as watershed moments in your life where you learned great lessons, where God helped you make directional adjustments that had a positive impact on your life, where you learned more about your God-given gifts and abilities, and where you learned great lessons in handling hardship. Your kids are going to fail and feel like failures at some point during their adolescent years. In fact, they will fail many times over. Walk through those failures with them by listening to their pain, processing that pain with them, sharing stories of how you learned from your own failures, and offering an eternal perspective on how God grows us through our failures.

Sadly and not surprisingly, scammers are employing all the latest technological tools to steal money and identities. One of the latest tactics our kids need to know about is what's called voice phishing, or vishing. It's a scam that uses Ai technology to clone and mimic the voices of someone you know in order to trick and manipulate you into sharing sensitive information or getting you to transfer funds. Cybersecurity experts report that these vishing attacks have increased by four hundred and forty two percent over the course of the last year. That voice that sounds familiar may not be who you think it is. Scammers are using traditional phone calls, messaging apps, social media apps, and text messages to get you to take the bait, bite, and respond by compromising your personal information. Your family should create a secret word or phrase to use if you suspect you are being victimized. Ask the caller for the password, and if they can't give it to you, you're being scammed.

“Home is where the heart is.” That cliché is a great descriptor of the way that a little child's life revolves around family and home. Then, the teenage years arrive and something begins to change. Because they are now growing up, teenagers begin the process of disengaging from the kind of ties they've had with you as they begin to focus more and more time on building relationships with their peers. Even though the shift is normal, it can be quite painful to watch your kids trade family time for friend time. These new relationships with friends serve as a bridge between the dependence of childhood and the independence of adulthood. But never, never, never forget this fact: You are still vital! Research and observation have shown that we must remain engaged and available to our teens. Teens whose parents are absent from their lives as a result of choice or circumstance are teens who hurt deeply. You are important and significant in their lives!

All this week we've been looking at the recent Surgeon General's warning on the Harms of Screen Use in the lives of our children and teenagers. One of the valuable aspects of the report is the list of recommended steps we can take in our homes to reduce screen time and all of the negative effects. The report suggests five “Ds”. First, discuss screens, social media, and the negative effects with your kids. Set clear expectations for your kids regarding healthy screen use. Second, you need to do. This means modeling the very screen use behaviors you want to see in your kids. Third, delay screen time from the earliest age and for as long as possible. Then, set clear boundaries on time, place, and content. Fourth, divert your kids away from their screens by providing alternative activities, such as chores, homework, music, and play. Finally, disconnect from your screens, especially at meals and other times when your family is together. Let's Detox from screens as a family!

All this week we're looking at the recent Surgeon General's warning on the Harms of Screen Use in the lives of our children and teenagers. If you're a parent whose been wondering about the effects of screen time on your kids, I encourage you to pause and think about exercising your God-given responsibility to nurture your kids well by setting clear borders and boundaries on screen time. The advisory tells us that in teenagers there are clear mental health and behavioral concerns related to social media use. Higher screen time is linked to anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and body image concerns. Researchers have found clear links to higher levels of family conflict, aggression, poor relationships with friends, and the use of tobacco, alcohol, and drugs. In addition, almost half of all teens have experienced cyber-bullying. Parents, our highest calling it to lead our kids into a vital relationship with Jesus Christ. Are you allowing screens to become an idol in your home?

All this week we're looking at the recent Surgeon General's warning on the Harms of Screen Use in the lives of our children and teenagers. The report tells us that the content our kids see on their screens matters, and screen use is most likely to cause harm to children and adolescents when one or more of the following content features is present. First, the content is designed to increase use through features like rewards, which encourage daily play and prompt the algorithms fed to our kids. Second, some content promotes risky behaviors like self-harm, disordered eating, violent behavior, substance abuse, sexual practices, or viral social media challenges. Third, there's the ever present danger of interaction with strangers and predators who use social media and gaming to exploit, abuse, traffic, and sextort our kids. Fourth, there's the collection of data about our kids that is then used to manipulate the content they're exposed to. Finally, there's the danger of exposure to pornography.

All this week we're looking at the recent Surgeon General's warning on the Harms of Screen Use in the lives of our children and teenagers. The advisory says that screen use may be harmful when a child loses control over their screen use, and warning signs of compulsive behavior begin to manifest in our child's life. Parents, are you seeing any of the following warning signs? Spending too much time on screens or constantly thinking about them. Repeatedly asking to use screens, often while whining, crying, or sulking. Using screens to feel better and becoming upset or moody when screen time ends. Hiding or lying about screen use. Getting defensive when asked about screen use. Trying unsuccessfully to reduce screen use. Showing symptoms of withdrawal when screens are not available. Prioritizing screen time over responsibilities, family time, and other activities. And finally, continuing to engage with their screens despite the disciplinary negative consequences.

Late last Spring, the United States Surgeon General issued an advisory warning regarding how to protect children and teens from the harms of screen use. The advisory tells us “harmful screen use among children and adolescents has become a public health concern”, with screen exposure often beginning before a child's first birthday and then increasing as children age. In fact, by the time they reach adolescence, children may spend more time on screens than sleeping or attending school. If you're a parent, I'm sure you're aware of the many ways screen use is affecting your kids, and it's usually not in a positive manner. The advisory warns us that “harmful screen use, particularly on social media is linked to developmental, mental, and physical health challenges and poor educational outcomes.” Parents, because God has called us to protect our children from harm, we'll be spending each day this week learning more about the Surgeon General's advisory.

Last spring I was watching the local news when I saw a story about a group of ten teenagers who were riding e-bikes while being chased by the police. It all happened in broad daylight, as the kids vandalized school athletic fields, stopped traffic on a busy street, and injured a man  by riding past and kicking him, all while shouting profanities. Because electronic bikes can be customized to travel at speeds higher than forty-five miles an hour, all of the riders got away from the police and were never caught. Parents, e-bikes are everywhere and chances are your kids already have one or will be pestering you for one. Be aware of the local regulations, many of which are being formed, debated, and enacted even as we speak. These bikes are dangerous, and it's your God-given responsibility to ensure the safety of your kids, teaching them to ride not only with care, but with respect for others. Yes, all of our activities, even riding a bike, should be seen as an act of worship!

It hurts to watch our kids suffer. In a youth culture pervaded by bullying, our kids may sometimes suffer injustice at the hands of others. Sometimes, their suffering is brought on by choices they've made. At other times, circumstances related to illness or accidents are the cause of their suffering. The Scriptures teach us that because of the flawed nature of ourselves and our world, we should not be surprised by difficulty and suffering. In fact, times of difficulty, pain, and suffering are what God uses to draw us to Himself, to conform us to His likeness, and to whittle off all that extra “fluff” that keeps us from maturing in our faith. The Psalmist knew this to be the case. In Psalm 119:71 we read, “My suffering was good for me, for it taught me to pay attention to your decrees.” When our teens suffer, it might actually be good for the simple reason that God is at work in their lives. While we want to see them thrive in a life free of hurt and pain, suffering can be good.

Several years a thirty-something friend of mine called to tell me what happened to him while he was driving. His heart began beating out of his chest. His face turned red, and he began to sweat profusely. Thinking he was having a heart attack, he drove to the ER, only to learn he was over-consuming caffeine. Because of the way caffeine can effect one's physical health, experts are increasingly concerned about the use of caffeine products among our children and teens. For several years now, caffeine-infused energy drinks have been the target of warnings. Now, kids are using caffeine pouches as a pick-me-up, which are placed between the cheek and gums to deliver a quick dose of caffeine into the bloodstream, each one being equal to up to two cups of coffee. There are a host of side effects, along with tolerance and withdrawal. Parents, teach your kids to stay away from caffeine pouches as a way to steward the health of their bodies to the glory of God.

One of the most heart-breaking and difficult aspects of being a Christian parent who longs to see his kids embrace and mature in their own faith, is the rocky nature of adolescent faith. Much of their “wavering” is simply a part of the teenage territory and the process of adopting their family's faith as their own. But maybe an even greater amount of that wavering is rooted in their humanness. . . a reality that we share with them. Let's face it – we are all sinful and fallen people whose lives – just like the lives of so many Biblical characters – have always been marked by periods of doubt, struggle, problems, and failures. The Bible is filled with stories of rebellious human beings who were called by God to be His people, but who often stubbornly followed their own will and way. Becoming transparent with our kids about the presence of these realities in our own lives can be liberating for them. It not only allows them to see us in our full humanity and dependence on God, but it gives them permission to struggle, doubt, and sometimes fail. 

I still can't stop thinking about something that happened back in May and the college commencement season. There were several news reports that popped up regarding the response of graduating students to things that their commencement speakers were saying. It seems that concerns over Artificial Intelligence spurred on choruses of boos at a variety of schools where the commencement speakers were touting AI. One of the main reasons for the pushback is the fact that college graduates are watching the quick advance of AI and wondering if the technology will actually take their place in the job market. During a recent dinner out in a restaurant, I interacted with a waitress who had graduated with a dual degree in IT and Marketing. She blamed her lack of a job on the presence of AI in those fields. I believe that the response of these students is warranted as we have to tap the brakes and exercise caution regarding the space we carve out for Ai in our lives.

Every now and then I come across some words from a social media influencer that are good, true, right, and helpful. That's what I encountered on an Instagram reel posted by Matt Chenard. In his post on anxiety, Chenard shares four steps he takes when he feels anxious and depressed, steps that we can share with our kids. First, pray about the good things in your life. Thank God for His goodness and blessings. Second, pray about what's on your heart. Tell God what it is you are anxious about. Surrender it to Him and ask Him to carry it. Third, pray for wisdom and discernment to know what you can and can't control. Pray for wisdom on how to best take action on that which you can control. And fourth, speak truth to your mind and heart. Meditate on God's Word. Read it to yourself, making His truth louder than the lies the world would have us believe. I love these four steps, and I believe they can be used in transformative ways to help your kids battle their anxiety.

There's a story about a thirteen year old boy and something that happened to him on a day in April nineteen fifty nine that reminds me of a way we parents should be praying regularly for our kids. Steve Saner was growing up in Cincinnati and was big fan of the Reds. Without his parents knowing it, Saner would often skip school on game days to head over to Crosley field to catch a game. He would move around the stadium, trying to catch balls that would go into the stands. On that day in in nineteen fifty nine, Saner was standing behind the right field fence when the Red's Ted Kluszewski hit a home run over the outstretched glove of Pirate's right fielder Roberto Celemente. A news photographer from the Cincinnati Enquirer captured a photo of the moment, and when Saner's father saw his son's picture in the paper, the boy's cover was blown. Saner was caught! So, what should we pray? That our kids' sin will be exposed, so that we have an opportunity to set them straight!

Last Spring I had two of my grandkids with me during a visit to the community where I spent my elementary and middle school years. I was prompted to take a trip down memory lane when right at noon, the fire whistle at the local volunteer fire department let out that familiar siren. I stopped dead in my tracks. “Did you hear that?” I asked the kids. “Yes”, they replied. “That's the twelve-o'clock whistle, and there's another one that will go off again at five pm.” During the 1960's it was those regularly timed test whistles that my mother was talking about whenever she sent us out the door play, telling us to come home for lunch when you hear the twelve o'clock whistle, and home for dinner when you hear the five o'clock whistle. We were involved in what was called unsupervised and unstructured free play. Researchers now tell us that this is what builds resiliency and agency in kids. Parents, we help our kids when we pull back on the helicopter parenting.

I once heard someone say, you tell me how your spend your time, and I'll tell you who or what your God is. For kids growing up in today's over-scheduled smartphone-saturated world, it's reasonable to assume that most kids spend far too little time or no time at all reading and studying their Bibles. This means that they spend more time focused on nurturing their allegiance to the idols of this world, rather than on nurturing their relationship with the One true God. We need to make it priority one to model regular Bible reading to our kids, while involving them in learning how to read the Bible by reading with us. Teach your children read the Bible regularly. Teach your children to read the Bible rightly, by seeking to understand it's intended meaning rather what they might think it means. And finally, read the Bible repetitiously, pondering, meditating on, and re-reading a passage. Parents, lead your children into embracing a hunger and thirst to know God's Word. 

I have an eleven year old grandson who has a history of asking deep theological questions that are not always easily answered. For example, he recently asked how old Adam and Eve were when they sinned. I wasn't quite sure how to answer that question as we don't really know. However, his curious mind was at work, so we were able to talk about our first parents and their rebellion against God. In a recent article, Lauren Groves, author of the Toddler Theology board book series, tells us that it's never too early to teach theology to our kids. Parents, you need to know that the culture is catechizing our kids twenty four seven. They are constantly learning. This means that we need to take the words of Deuteronomy six seriously by looking for and taking any and every opportunity to teach our kids from birth about the things of the Lord. We are called to pass down the truths of the faith to the next generation. Are you taking the time to teach your kids about God?

One of the most important lessons we as Christian parents need to learn is that, as the Bible says, salvation is of the Lord. We cannot drag our kids kicking and screaming into God's Kingdom. It is the Holy Spirit that does that work. Consider these words from Dr. Dan Doriani in his book, “A Man After God's Own Heart”: “Commands can change the behavior of children or employees, if you have the ability to punish disobedience. But law, by itself, never renews the heart. The love and grace of God change us. The truth changes people if the Spirit has renewed them and given them ears to hear. But teachers, and parents, don't have the power to change hearts. We cannot make people do what is right. In short, the root of obedience is God's prior grace and fruit of obedience is conformity to his person and plans.” Parents, our greatest desire for our kids must be to see them come to know, love, and faithfully serve Jesus Christ. Ask the Holy Spirit to do His work in their lives.

The online sports media platform RG recently ran a piece on gambling addiction in adolescents and young adults. The story caught my eye as we here at CPYU believe that sports gambling is the next big frontier for adolescent addiction. Listen to what RG says about peer influence and the role of social circles in teen gambling: Peer influence plays a significant role in gambling behaviors among adolescents and young adults. During this stage, individuals are heavily influenced by their social circles, often adopting behaviors and attitudes that align with those of their peers. If gambling is normalized within a peer group, individuals may feel pressure to participate to gain social acceptance or maintain friendships. Social media and online communities frequently promote gambling as an exciting or glamorous activity, creating a digital environment that reinforces risky behavior.” Parents, talk to your kids about online gambling, and monitor their online activity to prevent them from taking part. 

We live in a current cultural climate that teaches our children to avoid pain and pursue pleasure. While none of us like pain and we do like pleasure, the reality is that we live in a broken world where pain and suffering do exist. God promises to alleviate all pain and suffering when Jesus returns to usher in the new heavens and the new earth and God's shalom is restored, but we do live in that in between time where suffering actually becomes a tool for God's glory and our good. You see, our suffering is used by God to take us out of ourselves so that we might lean into Him. It's a kind of wake-up call he uses to conform us to His image. We need to teach our kids a good theology of suffering. The Psalmist writes, “It is good for me that I was afflicted, that I might learn your statutes.” Christian counselor Ed Welch tells us, “Suffering is God's surgery that leads to health when responded to by faith.” Teach your kids that God is always at work in their lives, even in their suffering.

A few years ago, a Harris Poll uncovered some data regarding the attitudes of Gen Z toward technology. Keep in mind that this is the generation born between 1997 and 2012, the first of which could experience the iphone when they were ten years old. The research found that eighty percent of Gen Z was concerned that their generation has become too dependent on technology. Three-quarters of them expressed concern about how social media was impacting their mental health in negative ways. And sixty percent wished they could turn back the clock and live in a day and age before everyone was plugged into digital devices. In other words, what they were longing for was a time they themselves never experienced, but somehow knew was better. I wonder if your kids feel this way. If they share these concerns, invite them to shut down for a period to experience life without all the distractions. Encourage them to experience connections that aren't digital.

According to a survey conducted by the Girl Scouts of the USA organization, our girls are feeling a growing amount of anxiety regarding their futures. The survey found that fifty-four percent of girls ages five to thirteen say that the idea of becoming an adult is scary or overwhelming. For girls ages eleven to thirteen, the number feeling the same wariness about the future is sixty percent. The survey reports that one not-at-all-surprising reason for this anxiety is the presence of social media and what the survey refers to as growing up in a hyper-digital world. One remedy suggested by the Girl Scouts of the USA is a remedy that should be readily available in the church. That is, providing girls with older mentors who will walk through life with them, offering them the kind of presence and support that will not only steer them in the right direction, but facilitate the growth of resiliency. You've heard it said that it takes a village to raise a child. Look for kids to mentor at your church.

From time to time I have given you updates on teenagers and drug use. The latest data from the National Institute on Drug Abuse show us that while the use of drugs and alcohol continues to be a problem among our kids, there is some good news. The majority of our teenagers report no use of substances during the previous thirty day period. Ninety one percent of eighth graders, eighty two percent of tenth graders, and sixty six percent of twelfth graders report using no marijuana, alcohol, or nicotine in the last thirty days. This trend reflects a steady decline that's held since twenty twenty. However, the most frequently used substances by our kids are alcohol, nicotine via vaping devices, and marijuana. What this means is that our work is not done. The ready availability of these substances coupled with the adolescent bent towards experimentation and self-medication, requires our constant diligence, our educational efforts, and our willingness to intervene when necessary.

Something is trending among British teenagers that has left us wondering if we will ever see it here. A survey of two thousands parents and their teenage children offered some insight into how social interactions are changing in our increasingly digitized world. Ninety two percent of the teenagers surveyed said that they are much more comfortable and at ease communicating with someone via text or emoji than they are at communicating face-to-face. In addition, fifty-six percent of the teens surveyed are uncomfortable engaging in small talk, and they admit that they'd go to lengths to avoid it. And finally, twenty four percent of the teens say they cannot deliver a handshake that's confident. Parents, I'm guessing that you were trained to look people in the eye, carry on a conversation, and deliver a firm handshake. We need to foster face-to-face intergenerational communication, and our churches are a great place for making that happen!

There's a common scene in old western movies where a weary traveler comes into town, ties up his horse in front of the tavern, and steps to the bar. The bartender always asks, “What'll you have?” If you ask that question of teenagers looking to quench their thirst with something other than water in today's world, the number one beverage of choice is energy drinks. Researchers at Piper Sandler say that thirty nine percent of respondents choose energy drinks over coffee, which is number one for thirty one percent, and soda, which is number one for thirty percent. Yes, our kids love their caffeinated beverages. But since we are called by God to steward our kids' physical well-being, we should be aware of what one Texas cardiologist, Dr. Ravi Ashwarth, is saying. He's seeing more kids who use these drinks coming in with heart palpitations, anxiety, chest pains, and shortness of breath. He gives us this directive: “energy should not come from the can. It should come from health.”

Some new research reported in the World Journal of Pediatrics offers some compelling data regarding the connection between the borders and boundaries put on screen time use, and a child's video gaming behavior. Researchers found that greater screen time on the part of parents, combined with the habits of allowing screen use at meals and in the bedroom, and using screens to manage behavior, was linked to some concerning outcomes in the lives of their kids. What were these concerning outcomes?Kids raised in these kinds of homes showed a higher level of later use of mature-related games, problematic video game use, and greater amounts of weekend gaming time. We shouldn't be surprised that our screen-time borders and boundaries, or lack thereof, influences our child's behavior. Parents, we are called to lead our kids to spiritual maturity. Take stock of the example you are giving, make changes, and prepare your child for a lifetime of flourishing in their faith.

Last year, the Gallup organization released the results of their latest American Values Index. Respondents were given a list of twenty-three values and were asked to choose all of those values that were important to them. Finishing at the top of the list were family, with forty nine percent placing that as most important, and Freedom, with thirty-percent placing that at number one. Rounding out the top ten in this order following family and freedom, were health, integrity, faith, trustworthiness, happiness, respect, kindness, and knowledge. It's encouraging to see these results. The key, however, to bearing fruit from these values is that we choose to prioritize and functionally live out the values we say that we hold. As Christians, we know the family is a creational institution, established by God, as one male and one female enter into a covenantal marriage, then bearing the fruit of children. Parents, spend time with your kids, and diligently nurture them in the faith.

All this week we've been looking at some great quotes that help us to look deeply into who we are and how our culture has shaped us and our kids. Here's quote from C.S. Lewis: "If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world." These words are especially helpful as we live in a  materialistic, market-driven world. With our teenagers seeing thousands of marketing messages a day, there's no doubt that many of those messages sink in, convincing them that their lives will be complete if they just make this one purchase, acquire this one thing, or get to experience this one great experience. Those who are older know what that's all about. We also know from experience that no matter what promises are made, they are never fulfilled. Lewis reminds us that we have been made by God and for a relationship with God. 

All this week we're looking at some great quotes that help us to look deeply into who we are and how our culture has shaped us and our kids. Here's one from writer G.K. Chesteron: “Christianity has died many times and risen again; for it had a God who knew the way out of the grave.” Chesterton's words hold true today in a cultural climate where the threats to deep and meaningful Christian faith run deep and wide. Researchers with the National Study of Youth and Religion are telling us that the shape of faith for Christian kids is anything but Christian. Researchers have labeled this faith “Moralistic, Therapeutic, Deism.” What this means it that kids believe their purpose in life is to be good and feel happy, and God exists to help make that happen whenever they decide they need him. Sadly, this is not Biblical faith. True biblical faith is that God has saved them, and that they exist to bring glory to Him.

All this week we're looking at some great quotes that help us to look deeply into who we are and how our culture has shaped us and our kids. Journalist Dorothy Day wrote these thought-provoking words: “If I have achieved anything in my life, it has been because I have not been embarrassed to talk about God.” Parents, how much time do you spend talking about God? And when you talk about God, what is it that you tell your kids? Research from the National Study of Youth And Religion points to the fact that America's teenagers and young adults have little or no knowledge about God. When asked to verbalize what they know about God, few have anything to say. Much of their confusion is rooted in the fact that there haven't been any adults committed to teaching them about who God is and who He's called them to be. Parents, study the Scriptures, know God, and teach your kids.

All this week we're looking at some great quotes that help us to look deeply into who we are and how our culture has shaped us and our kids. Here's one from C.S. Lewis: “A world of nice people, content in their own niceness, looking no further, turned away from God, would be just as desperately in need of salvation as a miserable world. . . and might even be more difficult to save.” What do Lewis's words have to do with today's youth culture? Sadly, research is pointing to the fact that many kids and adults – some who claim to be followers of Jesus Christ – believe that salvation depends not on the free grace and sacrifice of our Lord Jesus Christ, but on our works and living as a nice person. But the Scriptures are clear: our salvation is a free gift of God that depends on our trusting in him alone. Teach your kids the truth about the saving grace God shows to us, through his son, Jesus Christ.

Here's a thought-provoking quote that I recently ran across from Ralph Waldo Emerson - “A person will worship something, have no doubt about that. That which dominates our imaginations and our thoughts will determine our lives and our character. Therefore, it behooves us to be careful what we worship, for what we are worshipping we are becoming.” You may now be wondering why I would use time on a spot about today's youth culture to share an old quote from someone who's not living. Well, there's great wisdom in Emerson's words, wisdom that holds true for our kids and even ourselves as we live in today's world. You see, all kinds of potential idols jockey for our attention and allegiance. And even though we claim to be followers and worshippers of Jesus Christ, it's easy to slip into worship of something else. Take a look at your life. What do you worship? And what are you modeling for your kids? 

This is a big weekend for those of us living here in the United States. Tomorrow, we celebrate the two hundred and fiftieth anniversary of our nation, or, what's called our Semiquincentennial. You've no doubt experienced the buildup and even some anniversary events, where the main theme of these celebrations is freedom. This weekend's events give us a great opportunity to teach our kids about true freedom, which is the freedom which comes through a relationship with Jesus Christ. Take some time to read and talk about John chapter eight, verses thirty one to thirty eight. This is where Jesus says, “If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth and truth will set you free. If the son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” True freedom is not the ability to do whatever we want whenever we want. True freedom comes when we are liberated from sin's power and penalty through the death of Christ on the cross, and living obediently to His glory!

One of the great responsibilities we have as parents raising kids in today's screen-saturated world is the prevention and treatment of what's now known as digital fatigue. Also known as “tech burnout”, digital fatigue occurs when the excessive use of digital devices like a smartphone and the constant connection to the online world becomes exhausting. We live in a world of over-stimulation, where notifications and other prompts continually increase screentime. What occurs is a multi-layered state of exhaustion that's mental, physical, emotional, and yes, spiritual. When screen time takes up most of our time, other important and noble pursuits fall by the wayside, including the time we should be spending in God's Word and prayer. In effect, our screens become idols. They don't give us life. Rather, they suck the life out of us. What we need to do is get our kids to tap-out from screen time, so that they can tap in to the gifts of Jesus Christ, God's Word, and sabbath.

The latest “State of Today's Family” report from Barna includes some interesting insights into how Gen Z is thinking about and practicing marriage. In the years since nineteen fifty, the average age of first marriage has increased by about eight years for both men and women. The average age now for men is thirty, and for women it's twenty-eight. They seem to be waiting longer in order to become more emotionally ready, more financially stable, and more certain of the long-term viability of the marriage. Gen Z is also the least likely generation to say that marriage is important for raising children, with only two-thirds agreeing. This research reminds us of the importance of teaching our kids about God's institution of marriage, equipping them to understand the importance of a covenantal commitment between one man and one woman, and that marriage has been ordained as the place for children to be born. Are you correcting the culture's script for marriage?

Recently, I was reading through a list of projected youth culture trends for 2026 published by the fashion media platform, Qui Talks. One trend that caught my eye is actually quite hopeful, and it's one that we should not only take note of, but work to facilitate. The Qui Talks site calls the trend “The Cozy Comeback”, explaining that it's all about a generation that increasingly finds itself burnt out and desiring a slower pace of life. The site tells us that young people are romanticizing rest – not as laziness, but as survival. In a youth culture world marked by anxiety, constant pressure, and ongoing stimulation, this is not at all surprising, after all, God made us for a rhythm of work and rest. What a great opportunity we have to introduce our kids to the restorative and God-ordained practice of sabbath. The translation of the Hebrew word for Sabbath is translated as “cease” or “desist”, which clearly reminds us of our need to rest. Start with one day, Sunday, to practice Sabbath.