Youth Culture Today with Walt Mueller

One of the great forefathers of our Christian faith was Augustine of Hippo, who lived from 354 to 430 AD. You may know him as Saint Augustine. Perhaps you've even read some of his writing, including his Confessions, which is his autobiography, and the City of God. His conversion story is fairly well known, as his mother had diligently prayed  seventeen years for her son to come to faith in Jesus Christ. Recently, I've been reading a little book of quotes from Augustine, and I ran across these words from one of his sermons. I believe they're good words to inform the way we parent: "Good superiors rebuke those who stir up strife, comfort those of little courage, take the part of the weak, refute opponents, and guard against traps. They teach the ignorant, awake the indolent, put the presumptuous in their place, mollify the quarrelsome, help the poor, liberate the oppressed, encourage the good, suffer the wicked, and love everyone." Parents, love your children well!

Perhaps you, like me, are someone who on occasion was called back to reality by a school-teacher who caught you day-dreaming, not paying attention, or staring out a window during class. I know that it happened to me several times, from elementary school right on through to high school. In today's world, it's reasonable to assume that the most likely in-school distraction is a smartphone screen. Recent research reported in the Journal of the American Medical Association tells us that teens spend on average about five hours a day on their smartphones, two hours of which is spent on social media. During the school day, the average amount of time spent on smartphones is seventy minutes, with thirty minutes on social media, fifteen minutes of that time on video apps, and fifteen minutes on apps for gaming. Once again, we are finding that phone time takes our kids away from learning time. Parents, if it hasn't been done already, work with your schools to ban smartphones during the day.

I recently heard a song from 1981 that got me thinking about today's children and teens and the kinds of things that they face in today's rapidly changing culture. You might remember the song titled “Under Pressure” that was sung by the band Queen and David Bowie. The reason I think about the song is that its title captures the reality so many of our kids feel as they struggle to navigate life in today's world. There are a variety of mounting pressures our kids feel, including things like appearance pressure, athletic pressure, and academic pressure. Recent research from the UK found that academic pressure during adolescence is linked to depression and self-harm into early adulthood. The reality is that while our kids do need to be encouraged to use their abilities to do their best, many feel pushed to achieve beyond what they are actually capable of doing. Parents, encourage your kids to study to the glory of God as an act of worship, and don't make an idol of their grades.

If you could go back in time to face your sixteen year old self, what advice would you give to that teenager you once were? My list of advice would certainly be long, but there's one essential push I'd give to adolescent Walt regarding how he was spending his time. I would tell that younger version of myself to stop making excuses about how little time he said he had to read, study, and meditate on God's Word. I have to admit that I wasted loads of time that could have been spent on more important pursuits, including growing in my understanding of God's will and way for my life as put forth in the Bible. Still, I have to admit that I'm glad I grew up then rather than now. I recently read that the average teen spends seven hours and twenty-two minutes looking at screens each day. Today's kids have even more distractions, meaning that we need to go the extra mile in encouraging them through our example and words to spend time daily in God's Word. That's a great investment for now and the future.

Parents, today I want to remind you to warn your kids about some very real dangers they might face in today's smartphone and social media saturated world. Sexting is defined as the act of sending, receiving, or forwarding sexually explicit or suggestive photos, videos, or messages through their phones and digital devices. For our vulnerable and easily influenced kids, the dangers are real. Recent research on kids thirteen to seventeen found that one in three kids have received a sext, and one in four have sent one. In spite of our warnings, these numbers are up from 2019. The other related danger is sextortion, which occurs when someone is tricked into sending nude images or videos, and then the perpetrator threatens to share those images unless they are given some kind of payment. Researchers found that nearly half of those who had sent a sext were targeted with sextortion. Parents, warn your kids, and teach them that God has called them to flee from sexual immorality.

Somewhere there's an assumption flying around that Christian kids are somehow immune from being vulnerable to the growing tide of negative influences in today's rapidly changing culture. Many of us have bought the lie that “those things don't happen in Christian families,” or that “they don't happen to Christian kids.” Believing that lie can lull us to sleep, keeping us from realistically recognizing and addressing the pressures that all kids face in today's world. You see, it doesn't matter where they live, who they live with, or what kind of school they go to. Any kid, anywhere, can be influenced by any of the negative and dangerous aspects of our culture at any time. No church, school, family, or child is immune. Parents, I want to encourage you to pay attention to the voices out there in the culture that are influencing your kids. How can you guide them through the lies if you don't know the lies? You see, what we don't know, don't want to know, or refuse to know can and will hurt them. 

Parents, some new research on the effects of social media, screen time, smartphone use, and videogaming on eleven to twelve year olds warrants our attention. Reported in the American Journal of Preventive Medicine, the study set out to examine associations between problematic screen use, and behavior and mental health outcomes one year later. Problematic screen use occurs when kids can't control their online time and it starts to cause conflicts, stress, or problems at home and school. The study found that problematic mobile phone and social media use were prospectively associated with higher depressive, attention-deficit, and conduct problems. In addition, there were higher instances of suicidal behaviors, sleep disturbances, and substance use initiation. This data is just part of the growing amount of research that should cause us to wake-up to the fact that our kids are way too attached to their screens. Set strict time limits in order to facilitate good mental, relational, and spiritual health.

One of the cultural pressures that's trickling down quickly from our adult world into the world of children and teens is what's become known as hustle culture. Hustle culture is a fast-spreading mindset and lifestyle that glorifies non-stop work and constant productivity in an effort to achieve professional success. One's self-worth easily gets tied to this, leading to a relentless pursuit of what for a long-time has been called the American Dream. The version of hustle culture evidencing itself in the world of our kids is known as “grind culture.” With it's spread fueled by peer pressure and social media, grind culture has our kids pursuing academic perfection, the need to have one's entire life mapped-out, choosing activities that make one's college applications look good, and posting one's achievements online. We need to hustle our kids out of grind culture, as it fuels the sin of pride, sacrifices God's plan for sabbath rest, and hijacks their hearts away from finding their identity in Christ. 

I was fortunate to have Christian parents who modeled Christ-like grace in our home. When I think of my parents' grace, one specific instance comes to mind. It happened late in my teenage years. I had hurriedly left our family dinner table to meet a friend. In my haste, I failed to look in the rear-view mirror while I sped in reverse out of our driveway. My progress was interrupted abruptly with a loud, crashing bang. I had backed my mother's car into the driver's side of my dad's car. Fearing the worst, I slowly walked back into the house to inform my dad of what I had done. I walked into the kitchen and said to my dad, “I just backed mom's car into yours.” He put down his fork, lowered his head into his hands, as all of us waited in anticipation to hear what my father would say. He slowly lifted his head out of his hands and nodded it from side to side in disbelief. Then he looked at me and said some amazingly freeing words: “They're just two pieces of metal.” Grace.

Would you agree with this sentence: “It is becoming common knowledge that social media use has led to harmful psychological consequences, including the amplification of a psychological phenomenon known as FOMO, or fear of missing out.” Those words penned by professor Keith Hess of Oklahoma Baptist University in a recent edition of Salvo Magazine, in an article entitled “Beware the Other Attention Deficit Disorder.” Hess says that FOMO is pushing us into two manners of faulty thinking. One is the bandwagon fallacy, where we see something online and we decide to do it only because others are doing it. The second is the false urgency fallacy, where we act quickly without thinking, simply because we feel we will miss out if we don't. These fallacies are nurturing us and our kids away from acting with wisdom and discernment. Proverbs fourteen fifteen reminds us that “the simple believes everything, but the prudent gives thoughts to his steps.” 

All this week we've been looking at how smartphones are cutting into the sleep time our kids desperately need, and what we as parents must do to remedy this problem. Because we as Christian parents must teach our kids to glorify God in every nook and cranny of their lives, we must set the table for them to sleep counter-culturally, worshipping God through good stewardship of their bodies by getting enough rest. First, do not allow your children and teens to sleep with any devices in their room. Remove the tempting distraction! Second, keep your child's phone in a secure place to charge overnight. Turn the phone off so that notifications are silenced. Third, expect pushback from your child. Let them know that your action is not due to mistrust, but to responsibly fulfilling your role to love and parent them by God's design. And finally, remind your child that God has created our bodies for a rhythm of work and rest, and that a lack of sleep only brings harm.

All this week we're looking together at how smartphones are cutting into the sleep time our kids need, and what we as parents must do to remedy this problem. Parents, here are just some of the dangers associated with digitally-interrupted sleep. First there's anxiety and depression. Counselors who screen patients for these issues will oftentimes first ask patients if they are getting enough sleep. A lack of sleep not only leads to anxiety and depression, but will make them worsen over time. Second, there's decreased academic performance. Kids who are sleep-deprived are sleepy during the day, exhibit a reduction in cognitive skills, and wind up with lower grades. Third, there's the health issue of obesity. People who are tired crave and eat more food. Fourth, there's an increased risk of heart disease. Fifth, neurological functions suffer. For example, one's driving ability. And finally, a lack of sleep leads to aggressive and inappropriate behavior. Tomorrow, we look at parental action steps. 

All this week we're looking together at the issue of how smartphones are cutting into the sleep time our kids desperately need, and what we as parents must do to remedy this problem. Parents, I want to share with you some realities that demand your attention and response. Researchers tell us that eighty-nine percent of our teenagers keep at least one electronic device in their bedroom at night, usually a smartphone. While thirty-six percent of teenagers sleep with their phone in their bed or on their pillow, it's reasonable to assume that most others keep the phone within reach by placing it on a bedside stand or on the floor next to their bed. And six out of ten kids ages eleven to seventeen use their phones between midnight and five am on school nights. And one-third of all teens admit to waking up in the middle of the night to use their phones. Is this a problem? You bet. There are many dangers associated with digitally-interrupted sleep. Tune in tomorrow as I share some of those dangers.

All this week we're looking together at the issue of how smartphones are cutting into the sleep time our kids desperately need, and what we as parents must do to remedy this problem. For our kids today, uninterrupted sleep is about as familiar to them as pay-phones, black and white TVs, transistor radios, and other artifacts that they see as part of their parents' olden days. Researchers tell us that children and teens have always needed just over nine hours of uninterrupted sleep for healthy growth and development. This is the way God has created our kids to grow, and he has established a need for all of us to experience a daily rhythm of waking time and rest. But judging from what the research is telling us about new patterns of adolescent sleep, healthy physical and emotional teenage development is also in jeopardy of becoming an artifact of the past. Teenage pressures and distractions are on the increase, while good old-fashioned uninterrupted sleep is on the decline.

Are you a parent who laments the fall-out from smartphones and how they've permeated and changed not only youth culture, but your very own children and teens. When we notice the negative effects these devices are having on our kids and we choose to intervene by setting up borders and boundaries, arguments are sure to ensure. In fact, recent research says that the most common point of parent-child conflict these days is screen time and what is and is not appropriate. I'm guessing that most of you who are listening right now know exactly what I'm talking about as you have experienced these conflicts in your own home. But I want to encourage you to stay the course and not give up. Your kids need you to step in to fulfill your nurturing and protective role to keep them from harm and provide for their well-being. One area where borders and boundaries are needed is the over night hours. Stay with us all week as we will be talking about our kids and digitally interrupted sleep.

Our children need parents who will openly explain and discuss what is happening to their bodies as they pass through puberty. We live in a world that constantly sets unrealistic standards regarding physical beauty so that only a handful can measure up. Teenagers spend hours in front of the mirror looking for facial and body flaws. Figuratively speaking, they look over their shoulders and see images of the “perfect people” – the actors, actresses, supermodels, sports stars, and other media heroes - who “meet” them everyday through online videos, movies, television, social media and billboards. Parents, offer your teen a godly perspective on the changes that are taking place. In addition to modeling the unconditional love and acceptance of Christ during the physically awkward years, Mom and Dad should temper the social pressure to be preoccupied with outward appearance. Take the time to teach your children about the inward qualities of godliness. 

One of the subtle, or maybe not so subtle, traps of social media is the way that we use it as a digital megaphone to trumpet ourselves. And because we all need to look good on social media, it's usually not our real selves that we put out there, but our idealized selves. I have often said that if you seek the spotlight, it will blind you. That's a mantra we and our kids should all embrace, knowing that we must join with John the Baptist to say, “I must decrease so that he might increase.” The great 20th century preacher Martyn Lloyd- Jones writes this: "When the Holy Spirit works in us, what He does is to make us glorify the Lord Jesus Christ. The man in whom the Spirit dwells does not talk about himself; whether he is a preacher or whatever he may be, you do not come away talking about him." And, consider these words from Charles Spurgeon: “The moment we glorify ourselves, since there is room for only one glory in the universe, we set ourselves up as rivals to the Most High.”

I was recently at a social function where I asked a mother how her fifth grade daughter was doing. “Well”, the mom replied, “She's a little bit sad. She just broke up with her boyfriend.” The fact that we were talking about a fifth-grader got me to thinking about how much the world of kids and their dating relationships have changed over the years. Not only are kids dating younger and then marrying older, but there's a whole new set of slang terms that we older folks need to know if we are going to keep up with the kids. If you hear your kids talking about “throning”, they are referring to efforts to date someone based on how that someone will raise their social status by giving their own image a boost. “Shrekking” involves dating someone you're not attracted to, hoping that dating down in the looks department will lead to better treatment from the person. And “monkey-barring” has you holding on to one partner until you have moved on to the next. So parents, now you know!

Parents, did you know that understanding the world of your kids is a part of your parental calling? Youth workers, Sunday School teachers, pastors, and other significant adults all play an important role in the spiritual development of children, but Scripture is clear: The primary arena for Christian nurture is the home. Parents are called by God to teach the truth of God's Word by precept and example. An understanding of our kids and their culture helps us to function as cross-cultural missionaries – taking the Word of God from our culture into theirs. It helps us to prepare them for the reality of the unique challenges they will face in today's world. Only then can we effectively teach them to walk through difficult times by integrating Christian faith into all of life. Regularly ask your kids about the pressures, problems, challenges, and choices they and their peers are facing in today's world. Then, take time to get into God's Word so that you might direct them into handling whatever it is they are facing.

Meta is the company that owns Facebook and Instagram. While there might not be too many teenagers hanging around on Facebook these days, our kids are engaging for hours a day with a variety of other social media platforms. In recent months, there's been well-deserved pushback on the movers and shakers at Meta regarding the ways in which their social media platforms harm our vulnerable children and teens. The allegations against Meta are the same allegations, we believe, that should be levied against all social media platforms that are designed to draw and keep our kids. Earlier this year, a document released as part of a court filing revealed that one in five thirteen to fifteen year old Instagram users saw nudity or sexual images on Instagram. And to clarify, none of those one in five users were looking for those images. In fact, they say they didn't want to see the pictures. Parents, our God-given responsibility is to guide and protect our kids. Set up social media boundaries.

Parents, today I want to ask you a question that you might find a bit odd. The question is this, Are you doing what you can to convince your kids that they are indeed sinners? Listen to these words from the late Martyn Lloyd-Jones. I cannot imagine a worse state for anybody to be in than for him or her to say he or she does not feel he or she is a sinner. The Holy Spirit convicts and convinces us of sin, and if He has not done it for you, if you value your own soul, ask Him to do it. Christ came to die for sinners, not for the righteous, and the first work of the Spirit is to convict of sin, of righteousness and of judgment. We come to Christ for salvation after the Spirit has convinced us of sin, because the Lord Jesus Christ is the answer to our need.” Parents, because we live in a world that scoffs at the Gospel of Jesus Christ, we increasingly believe in the goodness of human beings, which leads us to forget that we are sinners in need of a Savior. Be sure your kids are aware of their sin and their need for Jesus!

Recently, the Center Against Sexual and Family Violence in El Paso, Texas, began raising awareness among their constituency about a new type of dating violence they were seeing among teenagers. It's being called digital violence, a name that captures the changing realities of life for children and teens as they grow up in a smartphone and social media saturated world. Using the digital tools they have at their fingertips, along with the growing number of artificial intelligence options, teens as young as middle schoolers are creating and distributing images of their dating partners which compromise and undermine trust. In addition, there is the creation and spread of rumors, both visually and textually. Parents, we are living in the Wild West when it comes to life on the digital frontier. Pay attention, and always look for ways to teach your kids to live counter-culturally to the glory of God. As Paul says in Romans twelve, this is the spiritual worship to which we are called.

One of the most essential lessons we need to teach our children and teens is that God calls them to be responsible stewards and caretakers of their bodies. In First Corinthians Six, the Apostle Paul tells us that we are to honor God with our bodies. We are to care for them as an act of worship. For parents, this means that we must warn them about being careful about what it is that we put into our bodies, as that can effect them either positively or negatively, both now and for the rest of their lives. A recent study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association found that cannabis use among adolescents increases their risk of being diagnosed with anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, and other psychotic disorders up to and including age twenty-five. Doctors are reporting seeing patients who have used cannabis developing these mental health issues. Parents, teach your students to steward their bodies to God's glory, educating them to worship God through self-care. 

It's a fact that many of you who are listening to my voice right now are weighed down under the burden of a child or grandchild who has entered into rebellion and walked away at some level from you and from the Church. I know that this is a heartbreaking load to carry. And when you are carrying it, you are often led to feel like nobody understands or nobody is willing to step up and carry the load with you. I want to remind you of the words Jesus has spoken in Matthew 11:28. He says, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and over-burdened, and I will give you rest! Put on my yoke and learn from me. For I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Along with Saint Augustine, we can pray these words for each other, “Lord, those who are bowed down with burdens you lift up, and they do not fall because You are their support.” Burden-bearing parents, may the Lord bless you today with a deep sense of his promised peace. 

Are you, like me, tired of all the boasting that goes on on social media? Are you tired of having to face the temptation of giving in to the pressure of comparison which fuels that broken human desire of working to keep up with the Joneses? For those of us who are old enough to remember what life was like in a world without the distraction of social media, we long for those days when boasting and comparison, while certainly something that existed, didn't hammer us twenty-four seven through a digital device. Today, I want to encourage you to be someone who teaches your kids to navigate social media with a First Corinthians one thirty one attitude, while teaching your kids to do the same. First Corinthians one thirty one tells us this, “Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord.” All of us, young and old alike, need to realize that our lives should be centered not only the glorification of ourselves, but on the glorification of God. Imagine how things would change if that were the case.

As we get ready to celebrate power of the Cross and the Resurrection of Jesus this weekend, I want to ask you if you've taken any time to talk with your kids about the earth-shattering significance of what it is that we will be celebrating. The fallout from our culture's growing reality of biblical illiteracy hit me hard when a couple of years ago on the day after Easter my daughter-in-law, an athletic trainer at a large suburban high school, shared with me a conversation she witnessed between a group of a dozen student athletes who were in the training room. Everyone was chatting about their Spring Break when one of the students asked, “What the heck is Passover and Easter about?? I know nothing.” Multiple kids agreed that they didn't know the story, and some jokingly said, “I think it's something about Jesus. . . maybe his birthday.” Over the course of this weekend, why not read Matthew chapters twenty six, twenty seven, and twenty eight together as a family?

The TikTok video was titled, “Go to bed old, wake up hot.” The video is just one in the growing number of online tutorials posted by social media influencers to get women and girls using what's called “the morning shed” routine. Wanting to know more about this new viral trend, I watched as the girl on the screen removed and peeled off all kinds of multi-colored patches, masks, wraps, mouth tape, chin straps and I don't know what else more as she demonstrated another attempt at finding meaning, value, and purpose in outward appearance as opposed to inward character. Of course, medical experts are warning parents to keep an eye on this trend, as many of these products can harm the skin of our children and teens. But even more than that, we need to consider the hearts of our girls as they seek to squelch their insecurities with an expensive and even dangerous bedtime and morning routine. Parents, we need to raise our kids to counter-culturally glorify God through their spiritual growth.

For those of us who have experienced the death of someone we love, we spend more time thinking of them when the calendar turns to the anniversary of their death. On this day in twenty twenty, my father died and went into the presence of Christ at the earthly age of eighty-eight. The late Tim Keller penned these words about death: “Rather than living in fear of death, we should see it as spiritual smelling salts that will awaken us out of our false belief that we will live forever. When you are at a funeral, especially one for a friend or a loved one, listen to God speaking to you, telling you that everything in life is temporary except for his love. This is reality. Everything in this life is going to be taken away from us, except one thing: God's love, which can go into death with us and take us through it and into his arms. It's the one thing you can't lose.” Keller's words are good, true, right, and so reassuring. Friends, precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints.

It's spring and the farmers are out in force prepping their fields and planting seeds with the hope and anticipation of a bountiful harvest. There's a new trend among our kids that's all about farming, but not in the way our professional farmers are now farming here. No, our kids are involved in what's called “aura farming.” In the teenage world, someone who has aura is someone who has the same kind of glowing presence as the top social media influencers, beloved celebrities, and people who ooze coolness. Aura Farming is the term used to describe the act of doing things online to boost your cool factor in the eyes of the world that's watching you on social media. In essence, you're farming and fishing for the social capital of likes, positive comments, and a growing number of followers. Parents, this is a troubling trend as our kids are going to look for love and attention in all the wrong places. Lead them to find their identity, purpose, and value in Jesus Christ and not in the eyes of others.

The beverage coolers in one of our local quickmarts take up almost two entire walls. There's everything in there from a variety of water products, to carbonated soft-drinks, to energy drinks. Many of the beverage products in those coolers are what would be known as SSB's, or sugar-sweetened beverages. It's no secret that our children and teens largely favor these ssb's, as they are packaged and marketed in ways that attract their attention, along with the fact that kids have always loved the taste. A new study reported in the Journal of Human Nutrition and Dietetics reminds us that these drinks and other sugary foods do contribute to childhood obesity and type 2 diabetes. But the study also found that there's a connection between high sugary drink intake and increased anxiety in teenagers. Parents, you are called to keep watch over and steward your child's physical and mental health. Control your child's intake of sodas, energy drinks, and sweetened juices.

Paul Kingsnorth has written an engaging and thought-provoking book on technology which serves to warn us by looking ahead to the dangers that are coming due to our un-thinking embrace of all things digital. The book is titled Against The Machine: On The Unmaking of Humanity. Kingsnorth's analysis should serve as a wake-up call to all of us, especially parents, as he shares how the individuals behind the rapid development and acceleration of Artificial Intelligence keep pushing ahead while admitting that they don't know where AI is headed. Kingsnorth writes that “many of them seem to be actively frightened of what is happening, even as they make it happen.” He tells us that when these AI developers were polled for their opinions, over half of those involved in developing AI systems say they believe there is at least a ten percent chance that they will lead to human extinction. This begs a question: are we listening? Tread carefully and with wisdom into new technologies. 

As a parent, what is your posture regarding how your kids will best navigate today's youth culture? I want to warn you against two dangerous postures. Some parents take the approach I call false optimism. It's an approach that looks at the world and with a shrug of the shoulders says, “No need to worry, Everything is going to be alright.” Truth is, the collective lot of children and teens hasn't gotten any better. False optimism leads to forfeited influence because there's nothing anyone needs to do. Another dangerous posture is what I call alarmist pessimism, which looks at the world and says, “It's so bad and so far gone that nobody can do anything about it.” Not only does this view belittle God, but it too forfeits parental influence because there's nothing anyone can do. I would like to encourage you to take the approach of biblical realism, as you seek to accurately understand the culture forces out there, so that you can responsibly lead your kids into navigating all of life to God's glory.

The title of a research study from the University of Hawaii recently caught my eye. The study title is this: “Frequency of Negative Adult Spectator Behavior at Adolescent Sporting Events.” Any of us who have attended a youth sporting event or who are raising young athletes know the sideline behavior of parents is often concerning, and sometimes even appalling. The introduction to the study recognizes that youth sports are a popular extracurricular activity that can support the physical, social, and emotional development of children and adolescents. But based on our current youth sports spectating culture, the researchers also recognize that there are detrimental aspects, including negative parent behavior, which in turn effects young athletes negatively. Researchers found that with eleven to fifteen year old youth baseball, there were an average of 5.2 negative adult spectator behaviors per game. Parents, we need to do better. Let's not turn youth sports into and identity maker or breaker for anyone!

Are you aware that Time Magazine's 2025 Person of the Year is actually a group, rather than an individual? Named as winner were the “Architects of Artificial Intelligence,” an award which is given for the transformative impact AI is having on our culture and lives. Being given the title does not always signify a positive contribution, but rather the most influential contribution.  AI is truly changing our world and our lives, at a speed of cultural change never before seen. One example of AI's negative influence is how its being used for voice cloning and voice phishing. A person receives an urgent phone call or voicemail. The voice of a relative or friend, cloned by AI, then feigns an emotional or financial panic, asking you to wire money or make a credit card payment immediately. AI is truly making us wonder if we can trust anyone or anything anymore. Security experts suggest every family has codewords to be used to verify a caller's identity. This new world requires caution on our part.

Parents, do you understand that seeing your kids come to Jesus is not just about belief, repentance, forgiveness, and eternal life? Something else has to happen after our kids accept Christ as their Savior. Salvation is not just about justification, but about a lifetime of sanctification. We become followers of Jesus who integrate the Christian faith and kingdom of God into all of life. Theologian David Wells describes it this way: “True conversion is not an isolated experience but one that is related to a life of discipleship. Discipleship belongs to and should follow from conversion the way that natural life belongs to and should follow from live birth. And just as there is no discipleship without conversion, so there is not conversion with an ensuing life of discipleship that involves growth in moral maturity, a deepening faith, and loving service.” The goal of our parenting should be to nurture our kids into a compelling faith that transforms every area of their lives.

All this week we've been looking at barriers to lasting faith and the reality that far too many kids are leaving high school, home, and church, then heading off to college and walking away from their faith. In his helpful article, Why Youth Stay In Church When They Grow Up, Pastor Jon Nielson lists three reasons that are present in the lives of young people who continue to embrace and grow in their faith long after high school graduation. First, they have been truly converted. Rather than simply being happy that our kids are attending youth group, we should be praying that the Gospel would be preached into their lives and embraced by our kids. Second, they have been a part of a youth ministry focused on equipping rather than entertaining. While fun is present, the focus is on leading kids deeply into God's Word and the life of discipleship. Finally, kids who grow up and continue to grow in their faith have parents who lived and preached the Gospel to them.

All this week we're looking at barriers to lasting faith and the reality that far too many kids are leaving high school, home, and church, then heading off to college and walking away from their faith. Pastor Jon Nielson believes that one of the foundational reasons for this is that our kids have not grown up in homes where their parents have preached the Gospel to them. My own forty years of experience has taught me that when it comes to faith, kids are most likely to grow up to embrace the beliefs and behaviors they've seen and heard lived and taught by mom and dad. Of course, kids who grow up in non-Christian homes can come to saving faith. And, kids who grow up in strong Christian homes may launch on a Prodigal journey. Parents, don't rely on the youth pastor and youth ministry to nurture your children in the faith. They are there to assist you as you endeavor to grow in your faith, and in turn lead out of your own spiritual maturity as you raise your kids for Christ.

All this week we're looking at barriers to lasting faith and the reality that far too many kids are leaving high school, home, and church, then heading off to college and walking away from their faith. Pastor Jon Nielson believes that one of the foundational reasons for this is that our kids have been entertained by our youth group efforts rather than equipped to live the difficult life of discipleship. He reminds us that in Ephesians, Paul tells us that Christ gave teachers to equip the saints for ministry and to build up the body of Christ. Youth workers need to see themselves primarily as teachers. Have we taught our students well if they graduate from high school without good Bible-reading habits, Bible-study skills, and strong examples of discipleship and prayer? If not, we've lost them. Youth workers, it's good to build loads of fellowship and fun into the youth group experience. But  if that's all there is, we've done more to win kids to fun, than to a lifetime of following Jesus.

All this week we're looking at barriers to lasting faith and the reality that far too many kids are leaving high school, home, and church, then heading off to college and walking away from their faith. Pastor Jon Nielson believes that one of the foundational reasons for this is that our kids have not been converted to the faith. Nielson says that we all too often settle for our kids being nominal Christians or pretty good kids. In Second Corinthians five seventeen, Paul tells us that anyone who is in Christ is a new creation. Salvation is a miracle that comes from the glorious power of God through the working of the Holy Spirit. Nielson believes that we need to stop being pleased with attendance at youth group and retreats. Instead, we need to get back to a focus on conversion and trust God's Spirit to bring about change as we preach, teach, and talk to our kids. Converted kids are hungry to know God's Word. Converted kids go on to love Jesus and serve the Church.

Several years ago here at CPYU we began what we call our College Transition Initiative. This initiative was our response to the concern parents, youth workers, and pastors were expressing regarding the growing percentage of youth group kids who had been raised in Christian homes, but had then gone off to college and pushed either the pause or stop buttons on their faith. It was as if they were jettisoning everything they had learned while growing up, in order to live what's now seen as a normal college life void of Christian commitment. We realized that perhaps we aren't nurturing or discipling young people correctly, leaving them with a mutation of the Christian faith that at the very least is just an ad-on to the rest of life, or at the very worst not even Christian faith at all. Parents, we are called to nurture our children and teens in the faith, teaching them the truths of God's word and trusting God's spirit to change their hearts. Stick with us all week, as we look at barriers to lasting faith.

Several of my youth worker friends are reporting that many kids in their youth groups are feeling increased loneliness. The data supports this growing widespread epidemic of loneliness. God has made us for relationships, and when the pressures of life, the breakdown of the family, over-scheduling, and increased time focused on screens combine, it's a perfect storm resulting in feeling alone. Sadly, Common Sense Media reports that three in four teenagers are now using AI for companionship. And, in an effort to find emotional and mental health support, many are relying on non-human chatbots to counsel and guide them through their struggles. Common Sense Media has issued this stern warning: “Teens should not use AI chatbots for mental health or emotional support. AI chatbots are not safe and reliable for these purposes.” Parents, our kids need real flesh and blood relationships, starting with you. That is the first step in stemming the tide of teen loneliness.

Parents, today I want to encourage you to have your family attend a church where the adults, teenagers, and children all worship together rather than going their separate ways when they walk into the building. By doing this, they will be afforded the opportunity to see the faith modeled by other adults. Writer Steve Garber knows the valuable role the inter-generational Christian community plays in the spiritual awakening, growth, and nurture of kids. He writes, “For individuals to flourish they need to be part of a community of character. Community is the context for the growth of convictions and character. What we believe about life and the world become plausible as we see it lived out all around us.” Parents, your kids need to experience the full breadth and depth of the larger body of Christ. God will use your church and wide diversity of members, young and old alike, to celebrate and affirm all that you are teaching them as you nurture them in the home. 

One of the slang terms you might hear male teenagers use these days is “homiesexual.” We all know that a homie is someone who is a close friend. The term homiesexual can be used in a variety of ways, and it's always helpful to ask just what a person means when they say it. One of the most common definitions applies the term to male friendships that are deep and intimate in emotional ways. Sometimes these friendships defy traditional masculine gender roles, as the homies hug and cuddle without any homosexual feelings or inclinations. In other contexts, the term could refer to a homosexual attraction to or relationship with someone who is a friend. It's always a good thing to ask for clarification when the term is used because of the full spectrum of meanings. We are reminded once again of our need to dig into God's Word to help our kids come to an understanding of the gender binary, and the purpose and place of sex, which is in the context of a heterosexual, monogamous, covenantal marriage.

In his book Against The Machine, writer and thinker Paul Kingsnorth contends that thanks to digital technology and advances in AI, we are moving into a world that is governed by Algorithm's and AI, rather than by God-imaging humanity. In essence, we are letting the machine guide and direct our lives. I want to encourage you to take note of the four values the Machine is promoting. First, there's a reliance on science rather than faith in God's revelation to define the nature of reality. Second, the highest good that's promoted is to serve and advance one's self, rather than living a life of sacrificial selfless Christ-like love. Third, sex is seen as primary to what we do, with the pursuit of my own pleasure as foundational to my identity. And finally, there's the screen, which serves to attract our undivided attention, distracting us from reality and thereby undermining our humanity. Will we allow ourselves and our children to become slaves to the machine, or followers of Jesus Christ?

Now that all of my children have moved out of adolescence, I'm realizing they didn't come equipped with a switch or button that could be tripped or pushed to make them accept, embrace, and believe everything we told them about faith and life. Instead, I needed to allow them to grow just as I was allowed to grow. Our kids intellectual, physical, and spiritual development are all ongoing processes. They don't happen instantaneously or overnight. Our role is to consistently model and speak truth into their lives. Then we must allow the Holy Spirit to do the work that only he can do. We serve to guide and direct. God's Spirit works to bring about change and growth at just the right time, and does so over the course of time. We can't do what only God can do. Always remember they're in process. Prayerfully expect God to open their eyes at just the right time, a time that may, in fact, be pretty far down the road. In the meantime, be faithfully growing and living out your faith before their watchful eyes.

I was recently going through some old family photos from back when I was an elementary-aged boy. I came upon one picture that brought back memories of certain summer days that I just didn't like at all. There I was, sitting in front of a flower bed with a bucket by my side as I was making my way across the front of the house pulling weeds. I was glancing at the camera as my dad snapped the shutter, and truth be told, my glance was really a glare. There were two arguments I remember having regularly with my parents. One came when they instructed me to do my chores, including weeding. The other came when they told me to do my homework. In today's world, those parent-child arguments still exist, but there's a new number one argument at the top of the list. Can you guess what it is? It's over screen time. As parents, we need to nurture our children from a young age into limits on screen time. Christian discipleship includes navigating our devices to God's glory.

Blaise Pascal described a universal hole in the soul as a Godshaped vacuum. Alister McGrath describes Pascal's model as “a God-shaped emptiness within us, which only God can fill. We may try to fill it in other ways and with other things. Yet one of the few certainties of life is that nothing in this world satisfies our longing for something that is ultimately beyond this world.” Teenagers are no different from anyone else. Their great need is to have this God-shaped emptiness filled by God. If you listen and look closely, you'll see and hear that their music, films, social media, and very lives are crying out for spiritual wholeness. Over the years I've had the privilege of working with thousands of teenagers. I can't remember a single one who didn't exhibit this thirst for God. Each of us can look directly into the eyes of the teenagers we know and love and be certain this is their reality, too. Even when they don't recognize it as such, we can rest in the assurance their hunger is for heaven. 

The folks at Defend Young Minds have released some new data telling us that social media is now the most common way that kids are exposed to porn. Six out of ten minors now say they were exposed to porn by accident on social media. This is up from almost four out of ten in 2023. Thirteen is the average age of first exposure, with reports of first exposure even at six years old. And the four most common social media sources for exposure are X, Snapchat, Instagram, and TikTok. The report also states that even if your kids are not searching for sexual content, the algorithms will deliver it to them. Defend Young Minds tells us that the best way to protect your kids from pornography, predators, and other harmful content is to, in their words, delay, delay, and delay your kids access to social media. In addition, we need to teach our kids that pornography is a form of sexual immorality, which takes God's good design for sex, and destroys it through encouragement to sin.

Artificial Intelligence, or AI, is all the buzz right now. It's come on the scene quickly, and so many are enamored with what it can do. For those of us who have engaged with AI through the growing number of apps that are out there, we are generating songs, videos, images, and even text in literally a split second, and what we see is so amazing that it can draw us in just as quickly as it responds to our prompts. Dartmouth University professor Scott Anthony has been watching his students to discern what they're feeling about a future saturated with AI. In an article in Fortune Magazine, titled “They'll lose their humanity: the professor says he's surprised just how scared his Gen Z students are of AI”, Anthony says he's noticing that his students fear losing their critical thinking skills to the AI Machine. The late media philosopher Marshall McLuhan saw this coming. He said this, “We shape our tools and then our tools shape us.” Parents, exercise caution in how you embrace AI in your life and home. 

Raising children in the Christian faith is not an easy job. In fact, the more intentional we are about pointing our kids to Christ and equipping them to live to His glory, the more we become a threat to the enemy of God and his kingdom of darkness. Spiritual oppression, opposition, and trials will come. Satan does not like what intentional Christian parents are doing. I was thinking about this recently while reading James one, two to three: “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for your know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.” Notice that James does not say “if you meet trials.” Rather, he says “when you meet trials.” Family turmoil and difficult situations with kids are realities for all Christian parents. We are told to “count it all joy” when we face these trials. The joy we are to feel is not happiness, but the assurance that God will use these things for our good and His glory. Parents, God is at work parenting you, while you parent your kids.

As we finish up our week-long look at nurturing our kids away from materialism, here are some practical guidelines to help you address this issue in your home. Sit together as a family and read through the Sermon on the Mount. As the passage is read aloud, have each family member jot down anything from Jesus' words that offer insight into how we are to view and manage money and wealth, along with insights into where one finds true meaning and satisfaction in life. Take time to discuss your observations. Tell your children about times in your own life when you had your hopes dashed by something material that did not fulfill as you imagined it would. Evaluate any hopes and expectations for your children and teens that might be pushing them into a lifestyle of materialism. Adjust your hopes and expectations based on this definition of success: “True success in life is faithfulness to God and obedience to his commands, whether your net worth is 10 cents or 10 million dollars.”