Youth Culture Today with Walt Mueller

A recent survey by Wired Research, asked one thousand parents of kids ages fourteen to eighteen if they thought their children were prepared to manage their finances in adulthood. The survey found that only eight percent of the parents surveyed believe their teenagers are “extremely prepared” to handle their finances in adulthood. What's interesting is that this is a ten percent drop from last year, when eighteen percent of the parents reported the same. This declining confidence reminds us that as Christian parents, we need to go out of our way to teach our kids biblical principles of good financial stewardship, to teach them about saving, to teach them about tithing, and to teach them to recognize and push back on the constant flow of marketing messages seducing them to spend, spend, and spend. First Timothy six ten tells us that “the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs.”

A recent survey conducted in England asked parents to report on how many hours a week their fifteen to seventeen year old boys were playing video games. The survey found that on average, the boys were gaming for almost thirty-four hours a week! Researchers were struck by the fact that in England, schools are expected to be open for thirty two and a half hours a week. What this means is that these boys were spending more time each week playing video games, than they were spending in school. Parents, we need to realize that our kids are being shaped by where they spend their time, who they spend time with, and what they spend their time doing. The teenage years are prime years for education, and what we learn then will shape or mis-shape us into who we are for the rest of our lives. I was reminded of the importance of time with family, time spent at church and in youth group, and the powerful role these thing play in positive spiritual nurture. How are your boys spending their time?

Today, I want to pass on a message of hope for any parent who finds themselves in the midst of a struggle of some kind with their child. More of us than you know are familiar with your pain. I once had a friend tell me that whatever difficulties we face with our children should be seen as God's curriculum for us, as God is parenting and growing us at the very same time we are parenting our children. I love these words from Pastor Philip Ryken: “For the faithful who believe in Jesus Christ, the hand of God is an image of comfort and assurance. We know that the hand of God is a hand of love. We know this because we know that the hands of Jesus were pierced for our transgressions when he was nailed to the tree. This gives us the hope and the faith to leave everything in God's hands – all our burdens, all our trials, and all our cares. The Savior who loves us and died for us will also take care of us.” Jesus says to all of us, “come to me all you who are weary and heavily burdened, and I will give you rest.”

It doesn't take a degree in rocket science to see that there's been a decline in parental sideline behavior over the course of the last few years. I recently watched a viral video where a referee had to stop a girls' soccer game to address a parent who was allegedly heckling him over his calls. The video caught him saying this: “Do I look like I should be doing seven games in twenty-four hours. No I don't. You know why I'm doing seven games in twenty-four hours? Because there are fewer and fewer people who are willing to do this. Do you understand that? And most of the time people that are unwilling to do it is because of you people.” He ended with this: “So why don't you just grow up.” Parents we need to take seriously the words of the Apostle Paul in Romans twelve eighteen: “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” Are allowing the good gift of youth sports to become an idol in your life? If so, take steps to change your priorities!

For the last twenty or so years, educators, parents, and researchers have lamented what they believe is a decline in reading for pleasure among adults. The concern is that the increase in daily screen time, including time with TVs, computers, and smartphones, would cut away at the practice of reading. A new study published in iScience found that leisure reading, also known as reading for pleasure or fun, had declined by forty percent from 2003 to 2023. More specifically, the percentage of people who daily read for pleasure dropped from twenty-eight percent, to sixteen percent. We can assume that adults who are not readers will mostly raise kids who aren't readers. We applaud the growing movement to get our kids reading more, which requires that we adults be reading more as well. Reading improves literacy skills and prevents cognitive decline. For the Christian, reading the Bible, both alone and together, feeds our spiritual growth. Is your family reading?

As debates continue to rage regarding the effects of smartphones on the physical, spiritual, emotional, relational, and cognitive health of our kids, we need to exercise caution. One caution is this: Don't put a smartphone in the hands of a young child. In fact, we need to be cautious about doing the same with our older kids, with many experts saying that we should wait to do so until the age of sixteen at the earliest. Listen to this first-person testimony from Matthew Gasda that was published in a Brooklyn-based underground magazine: “I'm aware that my flip phone is holding the line for me. That if I bought a new iPhone, I would spiral into levels of depravity and stupidity, hitherto unknown, in that over time, I would lose even the ability to be aware of this, and that is really the danger of the smartphone. You stop being aware of what you could have been. You lose the mythic hope of being a fully-fledged human being, and you start to crave submission to the digital Oversoul.”

In Proverbs twenty-nine twenty five we find words that speak volumes of truth which we need to hear in our social media-saturated world. “The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is safe.” All of us struggle at times with making a good impression while wondering what other people think about us. This, according to Proverbs, is a snare, as it can become an obsession, trapping us into the vicious and spiritually deadly whirlpool of making every effort to seek man's approval, rather than living to the glory of God. Tim Keller says that “if we look to human beings more than to God for our worth and value, we will be trapped by anxiety, an over-need to please, by the inability to withdraw from exploitive relationships, by the inability to take criticism, and by a cowardice that makes us unable to confront others.” As Christians, we must push back on our bent towards fear of man, as we learn to live to God's glory alone. And, we need to lead our kids to do the same.

When I first got started in youth ministry I was a young single man who, truth be told, thought he knew a whole more than he actually did. One of my most arrogant moves was to somehow believe that I knew more about the kids in our youth group than even their parents knew about them. And, embarrassing truth be told again, I look back and can see that my younger self had a clear sense of how to raise children, and this, long before I had children of my own. Having children of my own along with having several decades of experience under my belt, I hope that this older version of myself is far more wise than that young fool I once was. This all came to mind recently when I read these words of wisdom from John Stott: “It is always best to respond to God's call neither with extreme self-confidence nor with complete self-doubt, but with humble trust in the living God who equips those He calls.” Parents, I've learned that we're always learning, and that our strength and wisdom comes from God.

According to the Aspen Institute, the youth sports industry here in the United States is a forty billion dollar a year business. About sixty million kids are playing youth sports, with the average family spending just over a thousand dollars a year on a child's primary sport, which is a forty six percent increase since twenty-nineteen. Sadly many parents are pushing their kids to achieve in sports as a way of addressing their own unfulfilled dreams, and to live vicariously through their kids. Twenty percent of sports parents believe their child could play a Division One sport, and ten percent hold on to the unrealistic dream that their child could go professional. But the reality is quite different. For example, only one in six hundred and ten high school baseball players will get drafted by a major league team, and one in ten-thousand- three-hundred and ninety-nine high school basketball players will go pro. Parents, have you made sports an idol, prioritizing your child's success over their spiritual growth?

If you are thinking about helping your kids navigate the world of Artificial Intelligence in regards to research and gathering information, I want to read you some helpful words from professor, Dr. Thomas Fowler in a recent edition of Touchstone Magazine. “Do the chatbots add any value with their search capability? Basically, no; the behavior of chatbots is completely at variance with the methods of research done by a real person, who finds sources and then critically filters and analyzes them, seeking to extract the most important and best-justified conclusions in light of the subject and of reality. This process we call “truth seeking,” but it is not what AI does: It does not decide what is true and what is not. AI systems are “built to be persuasive, not truthful,” says an internal Microsoft document. We need to lead our kids away from sources that lie. Parents, teach your kids how to engage in the process of using the Bible as the basis for developing skills in wisdom and discernment.

These words from musician Lacey Sturm in the forward to Rut Etheridge's book God breathed, are wonderful words about the power of Scripture. “Whenever I find truth in any place I immediately know that it is guaranteed to be a biblical principle in display. As a smart aleck atheist who met God on the day I planned to commit suicide, I was not one to take people's word for what they said about God. I wanted to know for myself. What I found in the Bible when I read it for myself was staggering. In the Bible I found Truth. The most profound, living, mind-blowing truth after truth after truth. I have always been a lover of truth. To find that the Bible was a book of truth was crazy enough, but then to find that it was alive and word-for-word breathed from the mouth of God, words which God intended for me to read and understand and learn so I could actually know Him – are you serious?! This is still absolutely astounding to me.” Parents, where else can we turn?

Our current cultural climate is one that is marked by hatred and divisions. If our kids follow the lead of what they are seeing and learning on social media, they will be nurtured into something other than what Jesus commands in John fifteen twelve. “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.” In his book “Mere Morality”, the late theologian Lewis Smedes tells us that the way Jesus loves us is the norm for how we are to love others. His life is our authoritative model. Smedes goes on to share four truths about how Jesus loves. First, love moved Jesus to help people. Second, love moved Jesus to help all people. Third, love moved Jesus to help all people for their sakes. Specifically, he humbled himself and suffered the agony of human life and the cross for our sakes. And finally, love moved Jesus to help all people for their sakes without regard for cost. This is what we must model and teach if we want our kids to love others as Jesus has loved them.

Parents, our God-given high calling and privilege is to raise and nurture our children in the Christian faith. Nothing is more important than that! The word “Catechesis” captures the reality of what it means to fulfill this responsibility. Catechesis is about teaching sound doctrine for sound living. In their book about catechesis, Grounded in the Gospel: Building Believers the Old Fashioned Way, J.I. Packer and Gary Parrett write, “Because we have lost the practice of catechesis today, superficial smatterings of truth, blurry notions about God and godliness, and thoughtlessness about the issues of living – career-wise, community-wise, family-wise, and church-wise – are all too often the marks of evangelical congregations today.” Parents, what would happen if we would take these words seriously, prompting self-examination about how deep we are endeavoring to grow in the faith, so that we might in turn raise up children who know the truth, and serve the Lord with passion?

With school back in session and the fall school sports season in full swing, I want to take a minute to get you thinking about a health issue related to kids and sports. As parents, we need to be diligent about ensuring the physical safety of our kids and their bodies as it relates to concussions. God made the brain to be a complex organ. In recent years experts have been sounding the alarm about the short and long-term damage that concussions can do to the brain. A study in the journal Pediatrics suggests that the effects of a concussion may last longer than previously thought, a reality we should consider when we are pondering when to get our kids back on the field. Some concussions take months rather than a few weeks, to heal. It takes longer if the athlete has had a prior concussion. In a day and age when we value athletics and on-field achievement perhaps too much, think about the long-term effects that today's decisions might have on your kids.

Think for a moment about the trying times parenting throws your way. If you're involved in youth ministry or some other activity with teenagers, think about the hard times you've encountered in that role. Can you say like the Apostle Paul, “We proclaim him, admonishing and teaching everyone with all wisdom so that we present everyone perfect in Christ. To this end I labor, struggling with all his energy, which so powerfully works in me.” What role do you allow God to play? I know all too well from my own history and experience that I often fail to live in total dependence on God. I've tried to parent my own children and minister to other kids with my own efforts and willpower. I find myself tired, burned out, and defeated. True dependence on God requires that we recognize our need to have our lives radically reoriented and reorganized by God. We need His guidance and enabling every minute of every day in every area of our lives.  Ask God to give you the gift of dependence on Him. 

The dictionary defines integrity as “firm adherence to a code of moral values” and “the quality of being complete or undivided.” Integrity describes a life that is united in a complete and consistent whole. An intregrated life is one where words, thoughts and actions consistently reflect the will of God for our lives. It is a life where one's faith in God is woven in and through every area of life, including all that one does. . . even when no one else is looking. What can we do to counter the loss of integrity in today's youth culture and lives of our kids? First, take stock of yourself and take corrective action where necessary. Second, map out a lifestyle of 24/7 integrity where your faith intersects with and permeates all of life. Live out your faith in your marriage, vocation, play, media use, sexuality, and conversation. And finally, map out a life of integrity for your kids by pointing out and challenging their duplicity in the context of a loving and supportive relationship.

For the last few years I've told parents that one strategy for helping their kids fight the body image pressures they feel from marketing is to do a Google search for celebrities without makeup. The classic with and without photos I'd put up were of actress Scarlet Johannsen, who looked like two completely different people when the photos were placed side by side. Sadly, the advances in artificial intelligence now make it possible for us to embrace a desired visual self as we avoid sitting in the hair and makeup chair, and instead have our appearances glamorized by using one of the many online apps. I want to issue a warning about this subtle and dangerous trend. On one level, trying to overcome our perceived appearance flaws exposes our own insecurities and our dedication to the idol of appearance. In addition, it creates pressure on others who now feel the pressure as the result of the comparison. Can't we just be ourselves? Can't we spend our precious time growing in our faith?

On this Labor Day, I want to pose a question to you: Where will your kids land in terms of the vocations they choose when they enter adulthood? How has God uniquely gifted them? What are their interests and abilities? No matter what vocation they choose, one essential lesson we must instill in them while they are still young is this: all work matters to God. I love these words from theologian Abraham Kuyper: "Wherever man may stand, whatever he may do, to whatever he may apply his hand, in agriculture, in commerce, and in industry, or his mind, in the world of art, and science, he is, in whatsoever it may be, constantly standing before the face of his God, he is employed in the service of his God, he has strictly to obey his God, and above all, he has to aim at the glory of his God." Parents, teach your kids that we image God when we engage in our work. Teach them that all work is a form of worship, and that we are to bring glory to God.

All this week we've been looking at helpful insights for Christian parents from Dr. Christian Smith's research on how parents pass their faith on to the next generation. In addition to reminding Christian parents of the role that walking their talk plays in the faith formation of their kids, Smith has found a number of traits that are present in families where the Christian faith is passed on to kids. One of Smith's best and most helpful suggestions is that parents engage in channeling for internalization. What does this mean? Channeling for internalization is a term describing how parents purposefully arrange for their kids to have involvements and relationships that reinforce rather than replace their more direct parental influence on their kids. In other words, we want to get them involved with Christian adults from our church, with a youth group, with a youth pastor, and others who will have a positive spiritual input on your kids. Are you taking the time to make this happen with your kids?

All this week we're looking at helpful insights for Christian parents from Dr. Christian Smith's research on how parents pass their faith on to the next generation. In addition to reminding Christian parents of the role that walking their talk plays in the faith formation of their kids, Smith has found a number of traits that are present in families where the Christian faith is passed on to kids. Parenting style plays a huge role. It is broadly true that the parents who successfully pass on their faith to their children exhibit what is called an authoritative parenting style. There are two crucial traits present in authoritative parenting. First, parents consistently hold their children to clear and demanding expectations, standards, and boundaries in all areas of life. Second, these parents work hard to relate to their children in a manner marked by an abundance of warmth, support, and care. This combination of clear expectations and affective warmth is powerful in a child's spiritual formation.

All this week we're looking at helpful insights for Christian parents from Dr. Christian Smith's research on how parents pass their faith on to the next generation. In addition to reminding Christian parents of the role that walking their talk plays in the faith formation of their kids, Smith has found a number of traits that are present in families where the Christian faith is passed on to kids. One of these traits is that during the normal ebb and flow of daily family life during the week, parents take the time to talk with their children about the Christian faith. Parents look for opportunities to tell their kids what they believe, why they believe it, what the Christian faith means and implies, and why it matters to them. This is not sermonizing. Rather, these are natural, warm, and normal discussions on any number of topics. Those parents who welcome questions from their kids are especially good at opening the door for these conversations. Parents, we need to live and speak our faith.

All this week we're looking at helpful insights for Christian parents from Dr. Christian Smith's research on how parents pass their faith on to the next generation. Smith has found that no other institution or program comes close to the faith-shaping influence of moms and dads. Smith also found that the reason these other influences pale in comparison to parents is the way that moms and dads live out their faith in the context of their day-to-day ordinary lives. Kids who grow up to be committed to Christ almost always have parents who are extremely serious about and committed to their faith. Conversely, parents who are not especially committed, attentive, and intentional in passing on their faith will produce children who are less religious than they are, if they are religious at all. Smith says that parents who want to pass on their faith must believe and practice their faith genuinely and faithfully. You see, kids are not fooled by a parental faith that is purely a performance. 

I have found Researcher Dr. Christian Smith to be a huge help to me in my various roles as a dad, a grandfather, and trainer of youth workers and parents. Smith, who teaches sociology at the University of Notre Dame, has spent over two decades studying the religious and spiritual lives of adolescents. His recent book, Handing Down the Faith: How Parents Pass Their Religion On To The Next Generation, looks at how American parents pass their faith on to their children. Smith says that the good news is that among all possible influences, parents exert far and away the greatest influence on their children's religious outcomes. Smith says that the empirical evidence is clear. In almost every case, no other institution or program comes close to shaping faith as parents do – not congregations, not youth groups, not youth pastors, not Christian schools, not missions projects, and not Christian camps. All this week we'll be looking at what Christian parents can learn from Smith's research.

I recently had conversation with a grandmother who was surprised by some things she had heard her six and eight year old grandchildren saying during a family visit. The young children were asking for downtime, expressing  how they were feeling with the word anxiety, and one even mentioned the need to be alone to decompress. Welcome to the new world of childhood anxiety. The Journal of the American Medical Association reports that between twenty-fourteen and twenty-twenty-three, pediatric visits for anxiety issues rose by more than two-hundred-fifty-percent, from one-point-seven -percent to six-point-one percent. Parents, this warrants our attention on at least two levels. First, we need to release our kids from the pressures of over-scheduling and screen-filled lives. In addition, we need to teach our kids to look to Christ, reminding them to embrace and live the words of First Peter Five, seven: “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”

Have you ever thought about how and why we make the decisions we make? Every decision we make is based on some authority. Same thing goes for our kids. It's highly likely that your kids rely unconsciously on some combination of authorities including peers, family, the media, and their feelings. While all of these authorities can lead us in the right direction and to good decisions, there is one primary authority we are called to live in conscious submission to. It's the authority of the One who formed us, made us, and desires us to find our rightful place in life in a relationship with Him. Perhaps the greatest parental responsibility we have is to teach – through our words and example – that all of life is to be lived under the authority of God. Our own eyes, ears, and lives must be focused on Jesus, who said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me”, and on God's revelation of Himself in the Bible. In many ways, this is the secret to a Godly life.

As the years since the advent of social media have passed, we are learning more about the good, the bad, and the ugly related to this ever-present influence in the lives of our kids. New research from the University of South Queensland in Australia have found that teenagers who frequently use social media are three times more likely to try cannabis than those who use social media occasionally. Published in the Journal of Substance Abuse and Addiction Treatment, the study has links high social media use by teenagers with increased impulsivity and risk-taking, two aspects of teen life that already exist! These behaviors are both strongly associated with substance abuse experimentation. What do our kids encounter on social media? They encounter peer influence, trends, and other content that normalizes risk-taking and the use of substances. Parents, this is one more reminder of the fact that we need to peel our kids away from screens. Are you setting borders and boundaries?

Here's a little phrase you may have heard from your teen in one form or another in response to your efforts to provide parental guidance and direction: “That may be ok for you. But it's not right for me.” Welcome to the emerging world of moral relativism. In today's world, kids are encouraged to create truth for themselves. The only rule is that there are no rules. There is no universal standard of right and wrong. Rather, it's up to the individual to determine what is right and what works for them. Take a look around and you'll see evidence of teens living under the authority of self as they make all kinds of lifestyle choices. The end result of the loss of this shared moral compass is anarchy. Taken to an extreme, your kids won't be choosing to obey you. While it makes our parenting task that much harder, we must confront moral relativism whenever it rears its ugly head in our kids' lives. Carefully point out the contrast between God's never-changing standards, and the ever-changing personal “truths” of moral relativism.

The dictionary defines plagiarism as the act of using another person's words, ideas, or intellectual property and presenting them as your own original work without proper attribution. In the academic world, it's a violation of integrity and a type of cheating. As someone who has been a student and who teaches students, I am well familiar with the need to adopt the highest standards of academic integrity. I know that the best learning comes when we do all the necessary research and writing ourselves. In today's academic world, from elementary school up through post-graduate education, more and more students are caving to the temptation to use Ai to not only do all the research, but to do all the writing as well. One graduate professor I know says that since the advent of Ai, the quality of his student's writing has improved dramatically. He's justifiably concerned about his student's honesty. Teach your kids that as Proverbs eleven three says, “The integrity of the upright guides them."

Parents, the teen years are full of change and emotional ups and downs. I want to encourage you to take your teenagers shifting emotions seriously. I caved in far too often to the temptation to write off my teenagers' emotions as silly and childish. My insensitivity communicated not only that I didn't care, but that I was rejecting them. What I eventually learned is that my kids' emotional resilience depended greatly on the relationship they had with us as parents. They needed us to hang in there with them and to love them despite the emotional highs and lows over what to us, as adults, seemed like trivial stuff. What may seem like an overreaction to us is in reality them handling their lives in the best way they know how. Our job is to realize that they're not yet adults. They don't have our maturity. They're on their way. . . and we need to be sensitive and loving if we are going to fulfill our role to lead them to an emotionally stable adulthood.

If it hasn't yet happened to you, chances are very good that it will. You learn that both you and another person purchased the same item at the same place at the same time, and yet the prices you paid were not the same. Surveillance pricing is the practice of using artificial intelligence technologies and consumer data collection to set individualized prices for goods and services. Also known as dynamic pricing, algorithmic pricing, and personalized pricing, companies change prices based on a persons browsing history, location, and device type. In addition, technology is being used to discover your willingness to pay, which is a strategy used to identify the highest possible price an individual will accept before abandoning the purchase. The reality is that these new marketing techniques are being used to sell to you and your kids. Parents, talk to your kids about these tactics and point them out when you see them. In addition, join the effort to enact legislation to end the practice.

Remember flunking a test? Getting cut from a team? Getting caught drinking? Crossing sexual boundaries? Wrecking the family car? Having to attend summer school? Do you remember hating those moments, feeling like your life was crashing down quickly, and desperately wanting to snap your fingers to make it all disappear? Chances are that you now look back on those times of failure as watershed moments in your life where you learned great lessons, where God helped you make directional adjustments that had a positive impact on your life, where you learned more about your God-given gifts and abilities, and where you learned great lessons in handling hardship. Your kids are going to fail and feel like failures at some point during their adolescent years. In fact, they will fail many times over. Walk through those failures with them by listening to their pain, processing that pain with them, sharing stories of how you learned from your own failures, and offering an eternal perspective on how God grows us through our failures.

Sadly and not surprisingly, scammers are employing all the latest technological tools to steal money and identities. One of the latest tactics our kids need to know about is what's called voice phishing, or vishing. It's a scam that uses Ai technology to clone and mimic the voices of someone you know in order to trick and manipulate you into sharing sensitive information or getting you to transfer funds. Cybersecurity experts report that these vishing attacks have increased by four hundred and forty two percent over the course of the last year. That voice that sounds familiar may not be who you think it is. Scammers are using traditional phone calls, messaging apps, social media apps, and text messages to get you to take the bait, bite, and respond by compromising your personal information. Your family should create a secret word or phrase to use if you suspect you are being victimized. Ask the caller for the password, and if they can't give it to you, you're being scammed.

“Home is where the heart is.” That cliché is a great descriptor of the way that a little child's life revolves around family and home. Then, the teenage years arrive and something begins to change. Because they are now growing up, teenagers begin the process of disengaging from the kind of ties they've had with you as they begin to focus more and more time on building relationships with their peers. Even though the shift is normal, it can be quite painful to watch your kids trade family time for friend time. These new relationships with friends serve as a bridge between the dependence of childhood and the independence of adulthood. But never, never, never forget this fact: You are still vital! Research and observation have shown that we must remain engaged and available to our teens. Teens whose parents are absent from their lives as a result of choice or circumstance are teens who hurt deeply. You are important and significant in their lives!

All this week we've been looking at the recent Surgeon General's warning on the Harms of Screen Use in the lives of our children and teenagers. One of the valuable aspects of the report is the list of recommended steps we can take in our homes to reduce screen time and all of the negative effects. The report suggests five “Ds”. First, discuss screens, social media, and the negative effects with your kids. Set clear expectations for your kids regarding healthy screen use. Second, you need to do. This means modeling the very screen use behaviors you want to see in your kids. Third, delay screen time from the earliest age and for as long as possible. Then, set clear boundaries on time, place, and content. Fourth, divert your kids away from their screens by providing alternative activities, such as chores, homework, music, and play. Finally, disconnect from your screens, especially at meals and other times when your family is together. Let's Detox from screens as a family!

All this week we're looking at the recent Surgeon General's warning on the Harms of Screen Use in the lives of our children and teenagers. If you're a parent whose been wondering about the effects of screen time on your kids, I encourage you to pause and think about exercising your God-given responsibility to nurture your kids well by setting clear borders and boundaries on screen time. The advisory tells us that in teenagers there are clear mental health and behavioral concerns related to social media use. Higher screen time is linked to anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and body image concerns. Researchers have found clear links to higher levels of family conflict, aggression, poor relationships with friends, and the use of tobacco, alcohol, and drugs. In addition, almost half of all teens have experienced cyber-bullying. Parents, our highest calling it to lead our kids into a vital relationship with Jesus Christ. Are you allowing screens to become an idol in your home?

All this week we're looking at the recent Surgeon General's warning on the Harms of Screen Use in the lives of our children and teenagers. The report tells us that the content our kids see on their screens matters, and screen use is most likely to cause harm to children and adolescents when one or more of the following content features is present. First, the content is designed to increase use through features like rewards, which encourage daily play and prompt the algorithms fed to our kids. Second, some content promotes risky behaviors like self-harm, disordered eating, violent behavior, substance abuse, sexual practices, or viral social media challenges. Third, there's the ever present danger of interaction with strangers and predators who use social media and gaming to exploit, abuse, traffic, and sextort our kids. Fourth, there's the collection of data about our kids that is then used to manipulate the content they're exposed to. Finally, there's the danger of exposure to pornography.

All this week we're looking at the recent Surgeon General's warning on the Harms of Screen Use in the lives of our children and teenagers. The advisory says that screen use may be harmful when a child loses control over their screen use, and warning signs of compulsive behavior begin to manifest in our child's life. Parents, are you seeing any of the following warning signs? Spending too much time on screens or constantly thinking about them. Repeatedly asking to use screens, often while whining, crying, or sulking. Using screens to feel better and becoming upset or moody when screen time ends. Hiding or lying about screen use. Getting defensive when asked about screen use. Trying unsuccessfully to reduce screen use. Showing symptoms of withdrawal when screens are not available. Prioritizing screen time over responsibilities, family time, and other activities. And finally, continuing to engage with their screens despite the disciplinary negative consequences.

Late last Spring, the United States Surgeon General issued an advisory warning regarding how to protect children and teens from the harms of screen use. The advisory tells us “harmful screen use among children and adolescents has become a public health concern”, with screen exposure often beginning before a child's first birthday and then increasing as children age. In fact, by the time they reach adolescence, children may spend more time on screens than sleeping or attending school. If you're a parent, I'm sure you're aware of the many ways screen use is affecting your kids, and it's usually not in a positive manner. The advisory warns us that “harmful screen use, particularly on social media is linked to developmental, mental, and physical health challenges and poor educational outcomes.” Parents, because God has called us to protect our children from harm, we'll be spending each day this week learning more about the Surgeon General's advisory.

Last spring I was watching the local news when I saw a story about a group of ten teenagers who were riding e-bikes while being chased by the police. It all happened in broad daylight, as the kids vandalized school athletic fields, stopped traffic on a busy street, and injured a man  by riding past and kicking him, all while shouting profanities. Because electronic bikes can be customized to travel at speeds higher than forty-five miles an hour, all of the riders got away from the police and were never caught. Parents, e-bikes are everywhere and chances are your kids already have one or will be pestering you for one. Be aware of the local regulations, many of which are being formed, debated, and enacted even as we speak. These bikes are dangerous, and it's your God-given responsibility to ensure the safety of your kids, teaching them to ride not only with care, but with respect for others. Yes, all of our activities, even riding a bike, should be seen as an act of worship!

It hurts to watch our kids suffer. In a youth culture pervaded by bullying, our kids may sometimes suffer injustice at the hands of others. Sometimes, their suffering is brought on by choices they've made. At other times, circumstances related to illness or accidents are the cause of their suffering. The Scriptures teach us that because of the flawed nature of ourselves and our world, we should not be surprised by difficulty and suffering. In fact, times of difficulty, pain, and suffering are what God uses to draw us to Himself, to conform us to His likeness, and to whittle off all that extra “fluff” that keeps us from maturing in our faith. The Psalmist knew this to be the case. In Psalm 119:71 we read, “My suffering was good for me, for it taught me to pay attention to your decrees.” When our teens suffer, it might actually be good for the simple reason that God is at work in their lives. While we want to see them thrive in a life free of hurt and pain, suffering can be good.

Several years a thirty-something friend of mine called to tell me what happened to him while he was driving. His heart began beating out of his chest. His face turned red, and he began to sweat profusely. Thinking he was having a heart attack, he drove to the ER, only to learn he was over-consuming caffeine. Because of the way caffeine can effect one's physical health, experts are increasingly concerned about the use of caffeine products among our children and teens. For several years now, caffeine-infused energy drinks have been the target of warnings. Now, kids are using caffeine pouches as a pick-me-up, which are placed between the cheek and gums to deliver a quick dose of caffeine into the bloodstream, each one being equal to up to two cups of coffee. There are a host of side effects, along with tolerance and withdrawal. Parents, teach your kids to stay away from caffeine pouches as a way to steward the health of their bodies to the glory of God.

One of the most heart-breaking and difficult aspects of being a Christian parent who longs to see his kids embrace and mature in their own faith, is the rocky nature of adolescent faith. Much of their “wavering” is simply a part of the teenage territory and the process of adopting their family's faith as their own. But maybe an even greater amount of that wavering is rooted in their humanness. . . a reality that we share with them. Let's face it – we are all sinful and fallen people whose lives – just like the lives of so many Biblical characters – have always been marked by periods of doubt, struggle, problems, and failures. The Bible is filled with stories of rebellious human beings who were called by God to be His people, but who often stubbornly followed their own will and way. Becoming transparent with our kids about the presence of these realities in our own lives can be liberating for them. It not only allows them to see us in our full humanity and dependence on God, but it gives them permission to struggle, doubt, and sometimes fail. 

I still can't stop thinking about something that happened back in May and the college commencement season. There were several news reports that popped up regarding the response of graduating students to things that their commencement speakers were saying. It seems that concerns over Artificial Intelligence spurred on choruses of boos at a variety of schools where the commencement speakers were touting AI. One of the main reasons for the pushback is the fact that college graduates are watching the quick advance of AI and wondering if the technology will actually take their place in the job market. During a recent dinner out in a restaurant, I interacted with a waitress who had graduated with a dual degree in IT and Marketing. She blamed her lack of a job on the presence of AI in those fields. I believe that the response of these students is warranted as we have to tap the brakes and exercise caution regarding the space we carve out for Ai in our lives.

Every now and then I come across some words from a social media influencer that are good, true, right, and helpful. That's what I encountered on an Instagram reel posted by Matt Chenard. In his post on anxiety, Chenard shares four steps he takes when he feels anxious and depressed, steps that we can share with our kids. First, pray about the good things in your life. Thank God for His goodness and blessings. Second, pray about what's on your heart. Tell God what it is you are anxious about. Surrender it to Him and ask Him to carry it. Third, pray for wisdom and discernment to know what you can and can't control. Pray for wisdom on how to best take action on that which you can control. And fourth, speak truth to your mind and heart. Meditate on God's Word. Read it to yourself, making His truth louder than the lies the world would have us believe. I love these four steps, and I believe they can be used in transformative ways to help your kids battle their anxiety.

There's a story about a thirteen year old boy and something that happened to him on a day in April nineteen fifty nine that reminds me of a way we parents should be praying regularly for our kids. Steve Saner was growing up in Cincinnati and was big fan of the Reds. Without his parents knowing it, Saner would often skip school on game days to head over to Crosley field to catch a game. He would move around the stadium, trying to catch balls that would go into the stands. On that day in in nineteen fifty nine, Saner was standing behind the right field fence when the Red's Ted Kluszewski hit a home run over the outstretched glove of Pirate's right fielder Roberto Celemente. A news photographer from the Cincinnati Enquirer captured a photo of the moment, and when Saner's father saw his son's picture in the paper, the boy's cover was blown. Saner was caught! So, what should we pray? That our kids' sin will be exposed, so that we have an opportunity to set them straight!

Last Spring I had two of my grandkids with me during a visit to the community where I spent my elementary and middle school years. I was prompted to take a trip down memory lane when right at noon, the fire whistle at the local volunteer fire department let out that familiar siren. I stopped dead in my tracks. “Did you hear that?” I asked the kids. “Yes”, they replied. “That's the twelve-o'clock whistle, and there's another one that will go off again at five pm.” During the 1960's it was those regularly timed test whistles that my mother was talking about whenever she sent us out the door play, telling us to come home for lunch when you hear the twelve o'clock whistle, and home for dinner when you hear the five o'clock whistle. We were involved in what was called unsupervised and unstructured free play. Researchers now tell us that this is what builds resiliency and agency in kids. Parents, we help our kids when we pull back on the helicopter parenting.

I once heard someone say, you tell me how your spend your time, and I'll tell you who or what your God is. For kids growing up in today's over-scheduled smartphone-saturated world, it's reasonable to assume that most kids spend far too little time or no time at all reading and studying their Bibles. This means that they spend more time focused on nurturing their allegiance to the idols of this world, rather than on nurturing their relationship with the One true God. We need to make it priority one to model regular Bible reading to our kids, while involving them in learning how to read the Bible by reading with us. Teach your children read the Bible regularly. Teach your children to read the Bible rightly, by seeking to understand it's intended meaning rather what they might think it means. And finally, read the Bible repetitiously, pondering, meditating on, and re-reading a passage. Parents, lead your children into embracing a hunger and thirst to know God's Word. 

I have an eleven year old grandson who has a history of asking deep theological questions that are not always easily answered. For example, he recently asked how old Adam and Eve were when they sinned. I wasn't quite sure how to answer that question as we don't really know. However, his curious mind was at work, so we were able to talk about our first parents and their rebellion against God. In a recent article, Lauren Groves, author of the Toddler Theology board book series, tells us that it's never too early to teach theology to our kids. Parents, you need to know that the culture is catechizing our kids twenty four seven. They are constantly learning. This means that we need to take the words of Deuteronomy six seriously by looking for and taking any and every opportunity to teach our kids from birth about the things of the Lord. We are called to pass down the truths of the faith to the next generation. Are you taking the time to teach your kids about God?

One of the most important lessons we as Christian parents need to learn is that, as the Bible says, salvation is of the Lord. We cannot drag our kids kicking and screaming into God's Kingdom. It is the Holy Spirit that does that work. Consider these words from Dr. Dan Doriani in his book, “A Man After God's Own Heart”: “Commands can change the behavior of children or employees, if you have the ability to punish disobedience. But law, by itself, never renews the heart. The love and grace of God change us. The truth changes people if the Spirit has renewed them and given them ears to hear. But teachers, and parents, don't have the power to change hearts. We cannot make people do what is right. In short, the root of obedience is God's prior grace and fruit of obedience is conformity to his person and plans.” Parents, our greatest desire for our kids must be to see them come to know, love, and faithfully serve Jesus Christ. Ask the Holy Spirit to do His work in their lives.

The online sports media platform RG recently ran a piece on gambling addiction in adolescents and young adults. The story caught my eye as we here at CPYU believe that sports gambling is the next big frontier for adolescent addiction. Listen to what RG says about peer influence and the role of social circles in teen gambling: Peer influence plays a significant role in gambling behaviors among adolescents and young adults. During this stage, individuals are heavily influenced by their social circles, often adopting behaviors and attitudes that align with those of their peers. If gambling is normalized within a peer group, individuals may feel pressure to participate to gain social acceptance or maintain friendships. Social media and online communities frequently promote gambling as an exciting or glamorous activity, creating a digital environment that reinforces risky behavior.” Parents, talk to your kids about online gambling, and monitor their online activity to prevent them from taking part. 

We live in a current cultural climate that teaches our children to avoid pain and pursue pleasure. While none of us like pain and we do like pleasure, the reality is that we live in a broken world where pain and suffering do exist. God promises to alleviate all pain and suffering when Jesus returns to usher in the new heavens and the new earth and God's shalom is restored, but we do live in that in between time where suffering actually becomes a tool for God's glory and our good. You see, our suffering is used by God to take us out of ourselves so that we might lean into Him. It's a kind of wake-up call he uses to conform us to His image. We need to teach our kids a good theology of suffering. The Psalmist writes, “It is good for me that I was afflicted, that I might learn your statutes.” Christian counselor Ed Welch tells us, “Suffering is God's surgery that leads to health when responded to by faith.” Teach your kids that God is always at work in their lives, even in their suffering.