Youth Culture Today with Walt Mueller

Recent research published in the Journal, Neuroscience, reports on the effects of physical activity, physical fitness, and screen time on the brain developments of adolescents. We already know that the childhood and adolescent years are marked by brain development, which is according to God's good design. We also know that since we are created as integrated beings, what we put into our bodies coupled with our behaviors influence brain development for better or for worse. Not surprisingly, this new research is summarized by researchers with these words: “Our new findings highlight the importance of an active lifestyle, good physical fitness and moderate screen time for brain development in adolescence.” Parents, we are responsible to steward the development of our kids bodies and brains to the end of their good and God's glory. Are your kids getting outside to play and move around? Are they engaging in sports activity? And, are you limiting their time with screens?

Our kids are always learning from us. Our words and our example shape who they will become, a reality established by God as he has created individuals and families. This means that for better or for worse, our kids are watching, and what they see in us and from us will play a powerful role in shaping who they are. The Journal of Health Psychology is hammering this point home. They've found that there's some kind of connection between a mother who is frequently engaged with social media, specifically taking, editing, and posting selfies, and a daughter who is interested in having cosmetic surgery. It's believed that these daughters have adopted a kind of dissatisfaction with their appearance that they inherited from watching their mom's own dissatisfaction. Parents, we live in an appearance obsessed culture. Your obsessions will influence your kid's obsessions. We urge you to find your identity in the rock, Jesus Christ, and not in your appearance.

Recent research from the Journal of the American Medical Association serves to remind us of our need to be diligent in protecting our kids from experiencing trauma to their brains while playing sports. Using new imaging techniques, researchers at Columbia University have discovered that the area of the brain behind the forehead – known as the cerebral cortex – suffers the most damage from repeatedly heading a soccer ball. The practical result of this damage is a decline in cognitive function. In the past, you've heard us talk about the growing body of research regarding CTE, or chronic traumatic encephalopathy, a condition leading to cognitive decline. If you want to learn more about CTE we suggest you check out the website of the concussion legacy foundation. Parents, we are called to steward the physical, mental, and spiritual health of our kids. Are you taking steps to insure that they won't engage in activities that put the gift of their God-given brains at risk? If not, take steps now.

At the start of this year's school year, we were hearing reports about more and more schools nationwide that were taking steps to get the smartphones out of their student's hands during the school day. This a great move that every school district should take. But there's still concerns about how much time our kids are spending with their smartphones and social media during their out-of-school hours. Some new research, that's not at all surprising, should push you as a parent to set limits on smartphone use in your home. It seems that social media is effecting test scores. For kids ages nine to thirteen, just one hour on social media per day can lower test scores by at least one or two points. Kids who spent as high as four hours a day on social media saw up to a five point drop on their test scores. Our students should be pursuing a love of the Lord with all of the capacities of their minds. Let's help them do this well by setting clear borders and boundaries on smartphone use.

All this week we've been looking at some of the latest data from the Pew Research Center on how parents of children ages twelve and under are managing the realities of life in a smartphone saturated world. One finding that should cause us to pause in our parenting steps is this: parents overwhelmingly think using social media does more to harm than benefit their kids. In fact, eighty-percent of parents of kids twelve and under say that there are more harms than benefits from social media. This begs a question: If, in fact, there are any harmful aspects related to social media use, why are we allowing our kids to engage with social media through their smartphones and screens? Parents, the Apostle Paul tells us in the book of Ephesians that our high calling is to nurture and raise our children in the admonition of the Lord. We need be about the work of protecting our children from harm and providing for their well-being. Remember this as you think about your kids and social media.

All this week we're looking at some of the latest data from the Pew Research Center on how parents of children ages twelve and under are managing the realities of life in a smartphone saturated world. One finding deserving our attention is this: that even for the youngest of our kids, the YouTube video platform is widely used. Eighty-five percent of parents say their child ever watches YouTube, with half of those watching on a daily basis. Sixty percent of parents report that their child under two watches YouTube, and it's at eighty-four percent for kids ages two to four! Parents, are you aware that your kids are being marketed to through YouTube? Are you aware that there are a variety of messages and worldviews being dispensed and promoted, many of which are contrary to the Gospel and a Christian world and life view? Two necessary responses come to mind. First, limit their time with smartphones. And if they are watching YouTube, watch wisely with them.

All this week we're looking at some of the latest data from the Pew Research Center on how parents of children ages twelve and under are managing the realities of life in a smartphone saturated world. Researchers found that about one in four parents of kids ages birth to twelve have a smartphone of their own. Did you hear that? We're not talking kids who have access to someone else's smartphone, but kids who have a smartphone of their own! Of course, we would expect but not applaud the fact that well over half of our eleven and twelve year olds would have a phone of their own. And the numbers diminish as the ages get younger. But twenty nine percent of eight to ten year olds, twelve percent of five to seven year olds, and eight percent of children under five have their own smartphone. As Christian parents, we need to question the practice of putting a device that's addictive, distracting, and full of roadways into unbiblical worldviews into the hands of our impressionable kids.

All this week we're looking at some of the latest data from the Pew Research Center on how parents of children ages twelve and under are managing the realities of life in a smartphone saturated world. The survey found that screen use is starting young. Ninety percent say their kids interact with the TV screen. Almost seventy percent have kids who interact with a tablet. Sixty-one percent interact with a smartphone. Half of the twelve and under cohort of kids engages in gaming. Just under forty percent use a laptop. And at this point, eight percent of five to twelve year olds are currently engaging with an AI chatbot. Paul in his letter to the Colossians says to “set your minds on the things that are above, not on things that are on earth.” CPYU Research Fellow Mike Terry writes, “With screens, it's increasingly likely that their minds are being brought lower into fragmentation, and not lifted higher into focus on the things of God.” Parents, your calling is to point them to Christ.

One of the youth culture realities all of us need to understand is what's called “Age Compression.” Simply stated in layman's terms, Age Compression means that the things today's parents needed to navigate during their own teenage years are now things our pre-school and elementary-aged kids need to navigate. This means that pressures, problems, choices, and opportunities exist for kids who are at the most vulnerable of young ages. One area of concern is navigating life with our kids on what's called “the Digital Frontier.” Today's parents are called on to manage things like smartphones and social media that weren't an issue for them at that young age. The folks at the Pew Research Center recently surveyed over three thousand parents of kids ages twelve and under. Almost seventy percent say their kids use a tablet, and sixty-one percent a smartphone. So, what's a parent to do? Stick with us all this week as we look at the research from Pew, and parental response strategies.

Why do so many parents tiptoe gingerly around their children in today's world? More and more parents are afraid to step up, take the reins, and assume their God-given position of authority. Instead, parents have become like butlers, available to wait on and serve their kids' every desire and whim. Fearing rejection, we sometimes go against our better judgment and God's design to say yes when we should be saying no. God established the family with a pecking order. Those who are older and wiser are charged with the duty of raising, nurturing, and protecting those who are young and not-so- wise. In other words, parents are to parent their children. Dad, mom: you have a God-given responsibility to love your teenager, to guide them through life, to protect them from harm, and to provide for their well-being. This means that there are times when you will have to teach your kids God's will and way by saying no. Parent your teenagers to the glory of God!

It doesn't take a degree in rocket science to see that there's been a decline in parental sideline behavior over the course of the last few years. I recently watched a viral video where a referee had to stop a girls' soccer game to address a parent who was allegedly heckling him over his calls. The video caught him saying this: “Do I look like I should be doing seven games in twenty-four hours. No I don't. You know why I'm doing seven games in twenty-four hours? Because there are fewer and fewer people who are willing to do this. Do you understand that? And most of the time people that are unwilling to do it is because of you people.” He ended with this: “So why don't you just grow up.” Parents we need to take seriously the words of the Apostle Paul in Romans twelve eighteen: “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” Are allowing the good gift of youth sports to become an idol in your life? If so, take steps to change your priorities!

Truth be told, I've been having some fun with AI. I've especially been having a good time with AI's ability to create songs, and to manufacture photos. And of course, I'm not alone. I'm not surprised that today's kids know a lot more about AI and how to leverage it than I will ever know. The Future Report Study found that in Europe, forty percent of teenagers us AI daily or almost daily. Many of their schools allow the use of an AI tool. In school, teens say they use AI to explain hard topics, get instant answers or feedback, make learning more fun, and to strengthen their ideas and problem solving skills. Out side of school, they are using AI to write and edit, to produce visual art, to create videos, and to design and build projects. We must remember that AI is not a neutral or benign tool. It will reshape its' users over time. We have to wonder if our kids will lose their creative thinking skills and ability to discern. Keep an eye on this parents. And, be sure to set limits on where your kids can go online.

Today, I want to warn you about a dangerous substance abuse trend which centers around an increasingly popular herbal drug which is available online and in stores, including gas stations and vape shops. Known as Kratom – K-r-a-t-o-m – the drug comes from the tree of the same name that is native to Southeast Asia. Users chew the tree's leaves, brew the leaves, or create a liquid extract. Users who ingest Kratom in low doses report that the effects are like those of a stimulant which increases alertness and energy. When used at higher doses, it works as a sedative to calm one's nerves and anxiety, and to reduce pain. The drug takes effect in minutes with the effects lasting a few hours. The physical side effects are many, and there also side effects on one's brain and nervous system, including hallucinations, and in some cases, death. Our kids are at risk, and we must warn them about the dangerous effects of this and all other drugs. Protect your kids by learning more about Kratom.

Yesterday was the first Sunday in advent. Advent is the church season leading up to Christmas that's all about expectation, waiting, and preparation. It's a time to focus on the coming of the King and his Kingdom into the world. It's a time to think about how God through his mercy and grace is restoring the world we've broken to its original purpose and glory through Jesus Christ. Sadly, its such a busy time of preparation for meals, gatherings, decorating, and gift-giving that the real meaning of Christmas gets lost in the rush. Let me encourage you to start slowly and keep moving slowly through the season of advent this year. Focus less on the doing, and more on the waiting. Each one of us, including our kids, needs God to burst into our life to do for us what we in no way can do for ourselves. Salvation, redemption, and new life come through Christ alone. It's not earned or deserved. This year, talk to your kids about advent. Then, wait with great expectation and celebrate the King with great joy!

When sixteen year old Maryland high school football player Taki Allen ate a bag of doritos following practice earlier this year, he crumpled up the bag and stuffed it in his pocket. All Allen was doing was waiting for a ride along with several of his teammates when several police cars showed up. With guns drawn, police instructed Allen to put his hands up and get on the ground. After getting handcuffed, police searched Allen for a gun, which he did not have. The sixteen year old was surprised by it all and wondered why this was happening. It seems that the school uses a video security system which relies on Artificial Intelligence to detect threats, including the presence of guns. In this case, the AI detection system failed miserably, as it mistook Allen's Dorito bag for a gun! This story could have ended quite differently due to an AI mistake. This goes to show that our move into this new AI world is going to be fraught with unexpected consequences. We need to tread carefully onto this new frontier.

Today we celebrate Thanksgiving. Many of us have gathered to enjoy a day filled with conversation, an abundance of food, and perhaps some football. If you're like me, many of these long-held holiday traditions could wind up filling the day so full that we actually forget to pause and give thanks to God for His many blessings. This year, I've resolved to spend some time alone to pause and give thanks to God. I encourage you to do the same. I'm going to go outside and look around. I am grateful for my eyesight and for the all the beautiful things he put in the world for me to see. I will thank God for the people he has placed in my life. I will thank him for the luxuries of life that I tend to take for granted as if I deserve them. Finally, I am going to thank God for the difficulties of life. Perhaps your circumstances have you focused on your difficulties. If so, give thanks. It is through difficulties that God leads us to a deeper faith and dependence on Him. Thanks be to God for His kindness and grace!

A current lawsuit case hitting the courts is one we need to be aware of if we love and lead kids. A seventeen year old New Jersey teenager is suing the company that created an AI app that will manipulate any photo, allowing app users to remove the clothing of the person in the picture. When she was fourteen and posting photos of herself on social media, a male classmate manipulated one of those photos using the app, which kept the young girl's face recognizable on a body that was not clothed. The fake image, as expected, was widely circulated among classmates and friends through social media. The suit is asking the courts to require the company to remove all fake images, to remove the app from the internet, and to provide financial compensation for loss of privacy and emotional harm. These tools in the hands of anyone of any age can be incredibly destructive. Warn your kids, and teach them to respect the privacy and image of God in all humans. Real or fake, it's pornography.

Sometimes it's the emergency room doctors who are the first to warn us about the latest online challenges kids are engaging in at the risk of death and injury. Without going into too much detail, there are several reports of burned and injured teens who have engaged in what's called “the jam jar pulse jet” challenge. Thanks to several online tutorials, kids are pouring regular household rubbing alcohol in a jar, and then engineering the lid in ways that allow them to ignite the dangerous and potentially deadly device. Kids are not aware of just how risky this is, as the jars are prone to explode, which then throws the fiery fuel along with glass shards onto anyone nearby. Burns, vision loss, cuts, lacerations, and other injuries can result, along with potentially fatal bleeding. Parents, be aware of this trend. Talks to your kids about risky behavior and online challenges. Monitor their use of smartphones and social media, and be sure to teach them to honor God by honoring their health.

It's been a few weeks since the initial arrests involving an FBI investigation into a widespread gambling network which included several people involved with the NBA. This story reminds us of just how prevalent gambling is, including sports gambling, which involves many of our kids who use online betting apps. For example, the New York Council on Problem Gambling is reporting that over the course of the last year, a large majority of high school aged kids have placed at least one bet. In addition, the number of kids ages twelve to seventeen who meet the standards for problem gambling has been on the rise. The rash of advertisements, along with smartphones and peer pressure have contributed to the teen gambling problem. Parents, we need to realize that gambling is both fueled by and fuels the love of money, which is a thirst which the Bible tells us will never be satisfied. In addition, Jesus warns that in an attempt to gain the whole world, a person may lose their soul.

In today's digital age, viral social media trends are often seen as harmless fun, but they can pose significant spiritual and physical dangers to our children. These trends, driven by likes and shares, often encourage behavior that clashes with biblical values. They can lead our teens to seek validation from an online audience of their peers rather than from God, who created them uniquely in His image. The Apostle Paul warns us in Romans 12:2, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” Many of these trends encourage conformity to the ways of the world. They can lead to comparison, anxiety, and even recklessness, pushing our children to prioritize a moment of online fame over their safety and spiritual well-being. It's our duty to guide our children through this digital landscape with wisdom and discernment. By discussing these trends openly and grounding our conversations in Scripture, we can help them to stand firm in their faith.

Today, I want to share with you a prayer for a wandering adult child, included in Kathleen Nielson's wonderful book, “Prayers of Parents for Adult Children”: “Lord God, I do not know and cannot see her heart, but all her steps appear to turn away from you, away from light and life found in your Son. I know, Lord, that you see into the darkest heart; your perfect wisdom lays out all our paths. Please turn her feet and move her heart toward you, toward life in Christ, I pray. I do not know just how you might ordain to call her to yourself to find eternal life and life abundant, through believing in your Son. I know that you have given your breathed-out Word, the writings that can make us wise for salvation as we believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, the living Word made flesh to save us. Please, by your Spirit and your people, speak your Word of life into her heart, I pray. I trust in you, even as I daily ask, please lead her to believe in Christ your Son, I pray.”

Thanks to the continued rise of body-image pressure that has been fed and fueled by marketing and social media, our teenage boys are being encouraged to engage in what's called “Testosterone-maxxing”, or “testmaxxing.” The practice involves attempts to increase male hormone levels through the use of hormone medications. A host of social media influencers have been building their following of teenagers young and old alike, some barely into puberty, feeding the narrative that to be a real man you must have bulging muscles and washboard abs. This trend is fueling a rise in unrealistic body expectations, dissatisfaction with one's body, and dangerous medication trends. And thanks to the algorithms, our curious kids who seek information on bulking up in this way will continue to receive more and more information, thereby driving them deeper and deeper into this dark hole. Parents, monitor your boys, and teach them that their identity is not to be found in their muscle tissue, but in Christ.

From the time that our first parents chose to follow their own desires rather than God's guidelines in Genesis three , our world and everything in it has been marred by sin. Consequently, our families are populated by broken people living with broken people. Because of this, our marriages are at times very difficult. And, parenting is difficult as well. We are broken parents raising broken kids. Yes, there are times and seasons of great joy, but there will be bumps in the road. We make a huge mistake if we expect to have a perfect family with perfect kids. We may even base our contentment in life on having a perfect family. If that's the case, we are only setting ourselves up for disappointment. One reason for this is that we have set a perfect family up as an idol. And like all other idols, the idol of family can never and will never deliver what we hope it will. Parents, just like you and me, our kids are broken and in need of redemption. Look for your source of happiness in Jesus Christ. 

Parents, are you aware of the online chatbot service known as character.ai? Users can create virtual characters and personalities they can then interact with in a variety of ways. While users can engage with the chatbots to play games or assist with writing projects, the folks at Parents Together Action and Heat Initiative are telling us that when they engaged with character.ai while posing as teens under the age of eighteen, the AI chatbots conversed with them in ways that are best described as sexual exploitation and emotional manipulation. They also gave harmful advice, including offering drugs and even recommending armed robbery. Parents, this calls for increased diligence on your part, as according to the researchers, character.ai allows kids as young as thirteen on the platform, and they don't require age or identity verification, which means kids even younger can join. Set online time limits for your kids, and always monitor their use of digital devices.

In Proverbs twenty-nine twenty five we find words that speak volumes of truth which we need to hear in our social media-saturated world. “The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is safe.” All of us struggle at times with making a good impression while wondering what other people think about us. This, according to Proverbs, is a snare, as it can become an obsession, trapping us into the vicious and spiritually deadly whirlpool of making every effort to seek man's approval, rather than living to the glory of God. Tim Keller says that “if we look to human beings more than to God for our worth and value, we will be trapped by anxiety, an over-need to please, by the inability to withdraw from exploitive relationships, by the inability to take criticism, and by a cowardice that makes us unable to confront others.” As Christians, we must push back on our bent towards fear of man, as we learn to live to God's glory alone. And, we need to lead our kids to do the same.

I recently heard a theologian say that he has stopped trying to discern whether people he meets and knows are believers by asking them, “Are you saved?” Instead, he asks them this question: “Is Christ living in you?” He explained this switch by saying that many people today look back on a particular church service or camp experience where they raised their hand or went forward at the invitation to commit their lives to Christ. Sadly, while they no longer pursue a relationship with Christ, they believe that they are indeed Christians. Rather than falling on the good soil we read about in the Parable of the Sower, these are seeds that have fallen on the stony soil where the initial joy fades quickly and withers under pressure. This distinction should drive us to nurture our kids into understanding that the Christian life is not captured in a momentary decision, but is marked by a life of sanctification, where every square inch of their lives is lived with gratitude to the glory of God!

If you are thinking about helping your kids navigate the world of Artificial Intelligence in regards to research and gathering information, I want to read you some helpful words from professor, Dr. Thomas Fowler in a recent edition of Touchstone Magazine. “Do the chatbots add any value with their search capability? Basically, no; the behavior of chatbots is completely at variance with the methods of research done by a real person, who finds sources and then critically filters and analyzes them, seeking to extract the most important and best-justified conclusions in light of the subject and of reality. This process we call “truth seeking,” but it is not what AI does: It does not decide what is true and what is not. AI systems are “built to be persuasive, not truthful,” says an internal Microsoft document. We need to lead our kids away from sources that lie. Parents, teach your kids how to engage in the process of using the Bible as the basis for developing skills in wisdom and discernment.

There's a scene in the 1986 movie “Wildcats” that was oft-imitated by kids trying to be funny back in the late 1980's. A group of cheerleaders dance and chant at the other school's cheerleaders, “U-G-L-Y you ain't got no alibi! You ugly!” While the scene was intended to be funny, the real-life sentiment is still being dished-around as a biting criticism among the teenage population. In today's social media saturated world, it's the word “Chopped” that's trending among kids. While we adults are largely ignorant to teen slang, we need to be aware that when teens call someone “chopped”, they're issuing a put-down about that person's appearance or social status. We need to respond with the kind of support that builds resilience if our kids are being labeled as “chopped.” And, for those kids who call others “chopped” either face-to-face or online, we need to correct them, reminding them that the Scriptures call us to treat others with Christ-like love, kindness, and humility.

How will you respond to your children when they make a mistake or do something wrong? What will you say if your daughter turns her back on all that you taught her and winds up sexually active and pregnant? What will you say if your son gets suspended from school for fighting? What will you do if you find drug paraphernalia in your teen's room? What will you do if your daughter gets arrested for shoplifting? Remember that just like you and me, your teen's sinfulness is the greatest problem they face. All teens will encounter temptation and all teens will make sinful choices. The determining factor in whether or not a bad choice turns into a situation that gets better or worse will depend on your response. Let me suggest that your goal should be to redeem these situations by turning a mistake into an opportunity for your teen to become a more Godly and Christ-like person. Treat them with the same grace your Heavenly Father treats you when you are the offending party. 

Recent research coming out of Hong Kong assessed twenty-six hundred school children regarding video gaming and mental health. The research looked at what's called binge-gaming, defined as spending at least five hours in a row playing computer games. They found binge-gaming to be associated with poor sleep, anxiety, stress, loneliness, and depression. Three in ten kids surveyed reported spending so much time on video games that they would classify as binge-gamers or to be dealing with what's called internet gaming disorder. Specifically, this applied to four in ten boys and around one-quarter of the girls. Researchers also found that these habits result, not surprisingly, in a drop in school performance. Parents, we have been entrusted by God to care for the spiritual, emotional, and physical health of our kids. Our parenting must bring glory to God by setting screen-time limits for our kids, and by teaching them to steward everything they and have to His glory!

Earlier this year I ran across an opinion piece written in The Sydney Australia Morning Herald by author and mother of three, Kerri Sackville. The title of the piece was quite blunt, but it does capture our need to rethink how we as parents are using social media. Sackville's title reads, “Nobody wants to read those posts about how brilliant your kids are.” Sackville goes on to remind us that nobody likes to read a boast. Still, we are living on a social media landscape where we are prone to use pictures and text to boast about how smart and talented our kids are, especially when it comes to athletics, academics, and extracurricular activities. Christian parents are by no means immune to this, and I've even seen some boast about their evidences of their kids' faith. Parents, teach your kids to let their actions speak for themselves as they pursue excellence. And, with the Apostle Paul in second Corinthians ten seventeen, we all must say, “Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord.” 

For the last twenty or so years, educators, parents, and researchers have lamented what they believe is a decline in reading for pleasure among adults. The concern is that the increase in daily screen time, including time with TVs, computers, and smartphones, would cut away at the practice of reading. A new study published in iScience found that leisure reading, also known as reading for pleasure or fun, had declined by forty percent from 2003 to 2023. More specifically, the percentage of people who daily read for pleasure dropped from twenty-eight percent, to sixteen percent. We can assume that adults who are not readers will mostly raise kids who aren't readers. We applaud the growing movement to get our kids reading more, which requires that we adults be reading more as well. Reading improves literacy skills and prevents cognitive decline. For the Christian, reading the Bible, both alone and together, feeds our spiritual growth. Is your family reading?

Parents, the world is full of distractions for our teens, and some can be more dangerous than they appear. While we teach them values rooted in faith, we must also be aware of the modern cultural challenges they face. One of those is gambling. Aggressive and pervasive marketing for online platforms along with social media and peer pressure are making it easier for young people to be drawn into sports betting and gaming with real money. This can quickly spiral into addiction, leading to financial hardship and compromising the integrity we strive to instill. The Bible tells us in Hebrews 13:5, “Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have.” Let's have open, honest conversations with our teens about the financial, addictive, and moral risks of gambling, grounded in the wisdom of biblical truth and a desire to be obedient followers of Jesus Christ. Remind them that true contentment isn't found in placing bets, but in the blessings God has already provided.

With artificial intelligence spreading like wildfire through the digital landscape and into the lives of our kids, we would be mindful to tread carefully and set limits knowing that jumping into new technologies is sure to bring a mix of the good and the bad. In a recent article in First Things magazine, Mary Harrington offers these words: “The end of print culture is already upon us. With it's end, we are already witnessing the disintegration of modernity's load-bearing foundations, including the valorization of facts and objectivity, and a conception of the individual subject as a universal model of human personhood. This reality-picture, which crystallized in the seventeenth century, is already well on its way to dissolution in the solvent bath of digital media, a process radically accelerated by the spread of AI.” Parents, our high calling and privilege is to train our children up in the nurture of the Lord. Don't let cultural change drive your kids away from experiencing their full humanity as a follower of Jesus Christ!

In a recent edition of the Kids Today online newsletter, correspondent Anna North asked, “What do we lose when teens don't babysit?” In her article, North tells us how the teenage baby-sitting culture has changed over the years, with fewer and fewer teens actually baby-sitting, and fewer and fewer parents hiring teen baby-sitters. With a smaller amount of teens engaging in this once widespread rite of passage, North argues that kids are missing out on a formative experience that can build a teenager's confidence level as they learn to exercise responsibility. Kids who babysit others are given the opportunity to learn social skills, they learn to deal with problems, and they develop in their critical-thinking abilities. In a day-and-age when kids are tethered to their phones, and phones are even used as baby-sitters, why not encourage your kids to take a baby-sitting course and take on the baby-sitting responsibility. This is one more way to nurture our kids into a healthy adulthood. 

Because I was a typical kid who was doing typical mischievous things in my neighborhood, one of our regular childhood after-dark activities was to play “ring and run.” You may have called that “ding-dong ditch” where you grew up. You ring a random doorbell then run and hide, leaving the homeowner befuddled as they look around to figure out who was at the door. Of course, this was long before the advent of the video doorbell. But even in this video doorbell world, a viral TikTok trend has kids engaging in a new and dangerous version of the prank, this time known as the “Door Kick Challenge” or the “Door Knock Challenge.” Because it is a trend marked by aggressiveness and oftentimes property damage, Police have been warning parents of the legal ramifications. In addition, there are concerns that residents might take violent action against what they perceive to be an intruder. Parents, warn your kids are the dangers, risks, and potential fallout of this foolish viral trend.

What would you do if you were running the last cross-country race of your high school career and that race was the state championship meet? Now I'm not a cross-country runner, but I imagine that I would be racing to not only win, but to do the best I had ever done. I recently ran across the story of Kaylee Montgomery, a high school senior who set out to beat her personal best in the Arkansas state championship cross-country race. Just forty yards from the finish line, Kaylee came up on a rival runner, who had collapsed from exhaustion. Kaylee stopped, helped Julia Worthington up, and supported her body as they moved together slowly to the finish line, while all the other runners passed. When interviewed, Kaylee said that she was encouraging Julia, praying that the Lord would give Julia strength to finish. In a world where winning is increasingly seen as everything, we applaud this kind of Christ-like service from a teen. Let's encourage our kids to do the same.

I recently watched a video posted by the owners of a female black labrador retriever who they took to an outdoor restaurant where they were grabbling a meal. The video showed the dog choosing to sit on a separate couch, all the way at the end, facing the opposite direction from it's owners while acting like she didn't want to have anything to do with them. The owners posted, “Our moody teenager who sat herself as far away as she possibly could from her parents. The nerve of this girl.” I chuckled a bit as we all remember our own teenage years and our desire, from time to time to NOT be seen with our parents. It's known as individuation, which is a normal developmental process where our kids want to develop their own sense of self and independence from their parents. But parents, realize this, they are still watching you. Your presence and influence are more important than ever, as you model and teach what it means to live as a faithful follower of Jesus Christ. 

As debates continue to rage regarding the effects of smartphones on the physical, spiritual, emotional, relational, and cognitive health of our kids, we need to exercise caution. One caution is this: Don't put a smartphone in the hands of a young child. In fact, we need to be cautious about doing the same with our older kids, with many experts saying that we should wait to do so until the age of sixteen at the earliest. Listen to this first-person testimony from Matthew Gasda that was published in a Brooklyn-based underground magazine: “I'm aware that my flip phone is holding the line for me. That if I bought a new iPhone, I would spiral into levels of depravity and stupidity, hitherto unknown, in that over time, I would lose even the ability to be aware of this, and that is really the danger of the smartphone. You stop being aware of what you could have been. You lose the mythic hope of being a fully-fledged human being, and you start to crave submission to the digital Oversoul.” 

A recent survey by Wired Research, asked one thousand parents of kids ages fourteen to eighteen if they thought their children were prepared to manage their finances in adulthood. The survey found that only eight percent of the parents surveyed believe their teenagers are “extremely prepared” to handle their finances in adulthood. What's interesting is that this is a ten percent drop from last year, when eighteen percent of the parents reported the same. This declining confidence reminds us that as Christian parents, we need to go out of our way to teach our kids biblical principles of good financial stewardship, to teach them about saving, to teach them about tithing, and to teach them to recognize and push back on the constant flow of marketing messages seducing them to spend, spend, and spend. First Timothy six ten tells us that “the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs.”

According to the Aspen Institute, the youth sports industry here in the United States is a forty billion dollar a year business. About sixty million kids are playing youth sports, with the average family spending just over a thousand dollars a year on a child's primary sport, which is a forty six percent increase since twenty-nineteen. Sadly many parents are pushing their kids to achieve in sports as a way of addressing their own unfulfilled dreams, and to live vicariously through their kids. Twenty percent of sports parents believe their child could play a Division One sport, and ten percent hold on to the unrealistic dream that their child could go professional. But the reality is quite different. For example, only one in six hundred and ten high school baseball players will get drafted by a major league team, and one in ten-thousand- three-hundred and ninety-nine high school basketball players will go pro. Parents, have you made sports an idol, prioritizing your child's success over their spiritual growth?

Our current cultural climate is one that is marked by hatred and divisions. If our kids follow the lead of what they are seeing and learning on social media, they will be nurtured into something other than what Jesus commands in John fifteen twelve. “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.” In his book “Mere Morality”, the late theologian Lewis Smedes tells us that the way Jesus loves us is the norm for how we are to love others. His life is our authoritative model. Smedes goes on to share four truths about how Jesus loves. First, love moved Jesus to help people. Second, love moved Jesus to help all people. Third, love moved Jesus to help all people for their sakes. Specifically, he humbled himself and suffered the agony of human life and the cross for our sakes. And finally, love moved Jesus to help all people for their sakes without regard for cost. This is what we must model and teach if we want our kids to love others as Jesus has loved them.

School has been back in session for a couple of months now and you can be sure that there are a host of high schoolers thinking about where they are going to attend college. Members of SheKnows Teen Council were surveyed regarding their approach to college applications. When asked to use one word to describe how they were feeling about the application process they used a variety of words, including uncertain, overwhelmed, anxious, nervous, stressed, competitive, terrified, ready, excited, and restless. We have found that our culture along with peer and social media pressure has made the college application process stressful for both students and their parents. As Christian parents, we need to lead our kids into understanding that college acceptance is not to be pursued as a mark of their identity. Rather, they are to lean into the peace given by God as He directs the process, and they are to approach college as vocational prep for a lifetime of serving and glorifying God.

Once again, I want to give you a little update on the slang words that are trending in today's world of children and teens. I do this as a service so that you can overcome your chronic parental ignorance in order to understand your kids, and even use these words yourself in a fun-loving effort to embarrass your kids! The word Aura refers to someone's cool level. At times kids will give aura points to someone who has shown a high level of cool. If someone has crashed out they have lost their temper. Kids are glazing when they engage in overrating or hyping something up too much. Tuff, spelled T-U-F-F, is a synonym for awesome or excellent. The words bussin and smacks are often used to describe food that is very good. And if you are wondering how to refer to something that's good rather than bad, well, throw baddie, straight fire, or gas into the conversation. I know, it all sounds very confusing, but just like we did during our teen years, our kids are inventing and using slang.

Late last summer, I checked off a long-standing bucket list item by spending a day at the Little League World Series in Williamsport, Pennsylvania. Experiencing it for myself was awesome, and it was made even better by taking my three oldest grandsons along with me. While the baseball was good, there was much more than the games to experience. As would be expected in today's marketing saturated world, a variety of companies from sporting goods stores to those who make sunscreen had experiential booths set up. My grandsons, being young baseball players themselves, were especially drawn to the Easton bat display, where all the attention was placed on the Easton Hype Fire bat, which retails for anywhere from three hundred to four hundred dollars, which is actually cheaper than their five hundred dollar Dub bat. This got me thinking: why do we spend so much on youth sports? Is this really good stewardship? And what are we teaching our kids about spending to God's glory?

Today, I want to warn you about yet another viral teenage TikTok video challenge, this one that's been around for awhile, but has seemed to find new life resulting in some dangerous practices, hospitalizations, and even death. Social media's Benadryl Challenge hit the news again last month when the parents of a thirteen year old girl found her hallucinating with an elevated heart rate of almost two hundred beats per minute. Her parents rushed her to the hospital where she was treated and recovered. When doctor's asked if this was a suicide attempt, the girl said that she had learned from online videos and a friend that taking enough Benadryl would lead to a high. Upon looking through her daughter's phone, the mother found videos promoting the Benadryl challenge all over her feed. Parents, our kids are impulsive and they are prone to taking risks. But they benefit from warnings that stem from your knowledge, warnings to guide them into caring for their God-given bodies.

Many parents have been playing catch-up when it comes to understanding and setting boundaries around emerging technologies. One such technology is the growing prevalence of online Artificial Intelligence chatbots, a technology which we can all interact with to get answers to our questions, to create photos, and to do research, among other things. Here at CPYU, we have many concerns about AI, chatgpt, and chatbots. Yes, they can be used for good, but there are many stories coming out about teenagers who have interacted with the technology in search for guidance, direction, and answers to their questions. Recently, the family of sixteen-year old Adam Raine filed suit against OpenAi for the role that ChatGPT played in their son's suicide. Raine was able to bypass some of the safety features to get information about methods of suicide. Parents, our kids are navigating the confusing years of adolescence with many questions. Are you listening and giving biblical answers?

The kids have been back in school for a couple of months now, which has allowed plenty of time for marketers to collect their data on the spending preferences and habits of our kids. The folks at TeenVoice tell us that this year kids were excited about shopping. Using a scale of one to five, the excitability factor averaged about three-point-six, with girls and boys being equal, and younger kids more excited than those who are older to go shopping. When it comes to who is influencing their purchases, social media and parents hold equal influence. You won't be surprised that this year's in-demand shoe brands are Nike, Adidas, and Jordans. Preferred backpack brands are Nike, Jansport, and North Face. And what about skinny jeans? Well, they are “out” this year. As Christian parents, we need to mindful of our need to counter the constant onslaught of marketing messages that convince our kids that they are what they wear. Instead, we need to teach them principles and practices of biblical stewardship.

The prayers we find in the Scriptures are prayers that we can pray for our children and teens. In II Thessalonians 3:5, the Apostle Paul follows up his statements on God's faithfulness and promised protection from the evil one with this prayer: “May the Lord direct your hearts to the love of God and to the steadfastness of Christ.” First, Paul prays that God would “direct,” or “make straight” the paths of their hearts. We too should be praying that God would remove all the obstacles the evil one throws in the paths of our kids. Second, he prays that their hearts would be focused on the love of God and on Christ's endurance. Like Paul, we should pray that our kids would not only be focused on God's love for them, but on pursuing their own love for God. And, just as Christ steadfastly pursued and endured earthly trials and the suffering of the Cross, so too should we desire that our kids would grow in their faith to the point of persevering for Christ in the midst of great challenges. 

C.S. Lewis once said, “God whispers to us in our pleasures, but shouts to us in our pains.” Those words capture a truth that the Scriptures put forth from Genesis to Revelation. It seems that whenever God would do his greatest work in the lives of those he loved, he would bring about great spiritual growth and increased faith through the gift of pain. In today's world, we are taught to avoid pain and pursue pleasure. In addition, we've been led to believe that if we are experiencing the pain of difficulty and difficult times, God must be absent. But the Bible teaches us the exact opposite. God is present in our sufferings. How is it that we miss this truth so easily? As parents, there will be times of great hearthache, pain, and difficulty. Never forget that these are the times where God is parenting us, where he is doing great work, and where he is nurturing us into people who are totally dependent on him and on nothing else. Consider it all joy when you experience God's love in pain.