Youth Culture Today with Walt Mueller

Our children need parents who will openly explain and discuss what is happening to their bodies as they pass through puberty. We live in a world that constantly sets unrealistic standards regarding physical beauty so that only a handful can measure up. Teenagers spend hours in front of the mirror looking for facial and body flaws. Figuratively speaking, they look over their shoulders and see images of the “perfect people” – the actors, actresses, supermodels, sports stars, and other media heroes - who “meet” them everyday through online videos, movies, television, social media and billboards. Parents, offer your teen a godly perspective on the changes that are taking place. In addition to modeling the unconditional love and acceptance of Christ during the physically awkward years, Mom and Dad should temper the social pressure to be preoccupied with outward appearance. Take the time to teach your children about the inward qualities of godliness. 

One of the subtle, or maybe not so subtle, traps of social media is the way that we use it as a digital megaphone to trumpet ourselves. And because we all need to look good on social media, it's usually not our real selves that we put out there, but our idealized selves. I have often said that if you seek the spotlight, it will blind you. That's a mantra we and our kids should all embrace, knowing that we must join with John the Baptist to say, “I must decrease so that he might increase.” The great 20th century preacher Martyn Lloyd- Jones writes this: "When the Holy Spirit works in us, what He does is to make us glorify the Lord Jesus Christ. The man in whom the Spirit dwells does not talk about himself; whether he is a preacher or whatever he may be, you do not come away talking about him." And, consider these words from Charles Spurgeon: “The moment we glorify ourselves, since there is room for only one glory in the universe, we set ourselves up as rivals to the Most High.”

I was recently at a social function where I asked a mother how her fifth grade daughter was doing. “Well”, the mom replied, “She's a little bit sad. She just broke up with her boyfriend.” The fact that we were talking about a fifth-grader got me to thinking about how much the world of kids and their dating relationships have changed over the years. Not only are kids dating younger and then marrying older, but there's a whole new set of slang terms that we older folks need to know if we are going to keep up with the kids. If you hear your kids talking about “throning”, they are referring to efforts to date someone based on how that someone will raise their social status by giving their own image a boost. “Shrekking” involves dating someone you're not attracted to, hoping that dating down in the looks department will lead to better treatment from the person. And “monkey-barring” has you holding on to one partner until you have moved on to the next. So parents, now you know!

Parents, did you know that understanding the world of your kids is a part of your parental calling? Youth workers, Sunday School teachers, pastors, and other significant adults all play an important role in the spiritual development of children, but Scripture is clear: The primary arena for Christian nurture is the home. Parents are called by God to teach the truth of God's Word by precept and example. An understanding of our kids and their culture helps us to function as cross-cultural missionaries – taking the Word of God from our culture into theirs. It helps us to prepare them for the reality of the unique challenges they will face in today's world. Only then can we effectively teach them to walk through difficult times by integrating Christian faith into all of life. Regularly ask your kids about the pressures, problems, challenges, and choices they and their peers are facing in today's world. Then, take time to get into God's Word so that you might direct them into handling whatever it is they are facing.

Meta is the company that owns Facebook and Instagram. While there might not be too many teenagers hanging around on Facebook these days, our kids are engaging for hours a day with a variety of other social media platforms. In recent months, there's been well-deserved pushback on the movers and shakers at Meta regarding the ways in which their social media platforms harm our vulnerable children and teens. The allegations against Meta are the same allegations, we believe, that should be levied against all social media platforms that are designed to draw and keep our kids. Earlier this year, a document released as part of a court filing revealed that one in five thirteen to fifteen year old Instagram users saw nudity or sexual images on Instagram. And to clarify, none of those one in five users were looking for those images. In fact, they say they didn't want to see the pictures. Parents, our God-given responsibility is to guide and protect our kids. Set up social media boundaries.

Parents, today I want to ask you a question that you might find a bit odd. The question is this, Are you doing what you can to convince your kids that they are indeed sinners? Listen to these words from the late Martyn Lloyd-Jones. I cannot imagine a worse state for anybody to be in than for him or her to say he or she does not feel he or she is a sinner. The Holy Spirit convicts and convinces us of sin, and if He has not done it for you, if you value your own soul, ask Him to do it. Christ came to die for sinners, not for the righteous, and the first work of the Spirit is to convict of sin, of righteousness and of judgment. We come to Christ for salvation after the Spirit has convinced us of sin, because the Lord Jesus Christ is the answer to our need.” Parents, because we live in a world that scoffs at the Gospel of Jesus Christ, we increasingly believe in the goodness of human beings, which leads us to forget that we are sinners in need of a Savior. Be sure your kids are aware of their sin and their need for Jesus!

Recently, the Center Against Sexual and Family Violence in El Paso, Texas, began raising awareness among their constituency about a new type of dating violence they were seeing among teenagers. It's being called digital violence, a name that captures the changing realities of life for children and teens as they grow up in a smartphone and social media saturated world. Using the digital tools they have at their fingertips, along with the growing number of artificial intelligence options, teens as young as middle schoolers are creating and distributing images of their dating partners which compromise and undermine trust. In addition, there is the creation and spread of rumors, both visually and textually. Parents, we are living in the Wild West when it comes to life on the digital frontier. Pay attention, and always look for ways to teach your kids to live counter-culturally to the glory of God. As Paul says in Romans twelve, this is the spiritual worship to which we are called.

One of the most essential lessons we need to teach our children and teens is that God calls them to be responsible stewards and caretakers of their bodies. In First Corinthians Six, the Apostle Paul tells us that we are to honor God with our bodies. We are to care for them as an act of worship. For parents, this means that we must warn them about being careful about what it is that we put into our bodies, as that can effect them either positively or negatively, both now and for the rest of their lives. A recent study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association found that cannabis use among adolescents increases their risk of being diagnosed with anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, and other psychotic disorders up to and including age twenty-five. Doctors are reporting seeing patients who have used cannabis developing these mental health issues. Parents, teach your students to steward their bodies to God's glory, educating them to worship God through self-care. 

It's a fact that many of you who are listening to my voice right now are weighed down under the burden of a child or grandchild who has entered into rebellion and walked away at some level from you and from the Church. I know that this is a heartbreaking load to carry. And when you are carrying it, you are often led to feel like nobody understands or nobody is willing to step up and carry the load with you. I want to remind you of the words Jesus has spoken in Matthew 11:28. He says, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and over-burdened, and I will give you rest! Put on my yoke and learn from me. For I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Along with Saint Augustine, we can pray these words for each other, “Lord, those who are bowed down with burdens you lift up, and they do not fall because You are their support.” Burden-bearing parents, may the Lord bless you today with a deep sense of his promised peace. 

Are you, like me, tired of all the boasting that goes on on social media? Are you tired of having to face the temptation of giving in to the pressure of comparison which fuels that broken human desire of working to keep up with the Joneses? For those of us who are old enough to remember what life was like in a world without the distraction of social media, we long for those days when boasting and comparison, while certainly something that existed, didn't hammer us twenty-four seven through a digital device. Today, I want to encourage you to be someone who teaches your kids to navigate social media with a First Corinthians one thirty one attitude, while teaching your kids to do the same. First Corinthians one thirty one tells us this, “Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord.” All of us, young and old alike, need to realize that our lives should be centered not only the glorification of ourselves, but on the glorification of God. Imagine how things would change if that were the case.

As we get ready to celebrate power of the Cross and the Resurrection of Jesus this weekend, I want to ask you if you've taken any time to talk with your kids about the earth-shattering significance of what it is that we will be celebrating. The fallout from our culture's growing reality of biblical illiteracy hit me hard when a couple of years ago on the day after Easter my daughter-in-law, an athletic trainer at a large suburban high school, shared with me a conversation she witnessed between a group of a dozen student athletes who were in the training room. Everyone was chatting about their Spring Break when one of the students asked, “What the heck is Passover and Easter about?? I know nothing.” Multiple kids agreed that they didn't know the story, and some jokingly said, “I think it's something about Jesus. . . maybe his birthday.” Over the course of this weekend, why not read Matthew chapters twenty six, twenty seven, and twenty eight together as a family?

The TikTok video was titled, “Go to bed old, wake up hot.” The video is just one in the growing number of online tutorials posted by social media influencers to get women and girls using what's called “the morning shed” routine. Wanting to know more about this new viral trend, I watched as the girl on the screen removed and peeled off all kinds of multi-colored patches, masks, wraps, mouth tape, chin straps and I don't know what else more as she demonstrated another attempt at finding meaning, value, and purpose in outward appearance as opposed to inward character. Of course, medical experts are warning parents to keep an eye on this trend, as many of these products can harm the skin of our children and teens. But even more than that, we need to consider the hearts of our girls as they seek to squelch their insecurities with an expensive and even dangerous bedtime and morning routine. Parents, we need to raise our kids to counter-culturally glorify God through their spiritual growth.

For those of us who have experienced the death of someone we love, we spend more time thinking of them when the calendar turns to the anniversary of their death. On this day in twenty twenty, my father died and went into the presence of Christ at the earthly age of eighty-eight. The late Tim Keller penned these words about death: “Rather than living in fear of death, we should see it as spiritual smelling salts that will awaken us out of our false belief that we will live forever. When you are at a funeral, especially one for a friend or a loved one, listen to God speaking to you, telling you that everything in life is temporary except for his love. This is reality. Everything in this life is going to be taken away from us, except one thing: God's love, which can go into death with us and take us through it and into his arms. It's the one thing you can't lose.” Keller's words are good, true, right, and so reassuring. Friends, precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints.

It's spring and the farmers are out in force prepping their fields and planting seeds with the hope and anticipation of a bountiful harvest. There's a new trend among our kids that's all about farming, but not in the way our professional farmers are now farming here. No, our kids are involved in what's called “aura farming.” In the teenage world, someone who has aura is someone who has the same kind of glowing presence as the top social media influencers, beloved celebrities, and people who ooze coolness. Aura Farming is the term used to describe the act of doing things online to boost your cool factor in the eyes of the world that's watching you on social media. In essence, you're farming and fishing for the social capital of likes, positive comments, and a growing number of followers. Parents, this is a troubling trend as our kids are going to look for love and attention in all the wrong places. Lead them to find their identity, purpose, and value in Jesus Christ and not in the eyes of others.

The beverage coolers in one of our local quickmarts take up almost two entire walls. There's everything in there from a variety of water products, to carbonated soft-drinks, to energy drinks. Many of the beverage products in those coolers are what would be known as SSB's, or sugar-sweetened beverages. It's no secret that our children and teens largely favor these ssb's, as they are packaged and marketed in ways that attract their attention, along with the fact that kids have always loved the taste. A new study reported in the Journal of Human Nutrition and Dietetics reminds us that these drinks and other sugary foods do contribute to childhood obesity and type 2 diabetes. But the study also found that there's a connection between high sugary drink intake and increased anxiety in teenagers. Parents, you are called to keep watch over and steward your child's physical and mental health. Control your child's intake of sodas, energy drinks, and sweetened juices.

Paul Kingsnorth has written an engaging and thought-provoking book on technology which serves to warn us by looking ahead to the dangers that are coming due to our un-thinking embrace of all things digital. The book is titled Against The Machine: On The Unmaking of Humanity. Kingsnorth's analysis should serve as a wake-up call to all of us, especially parents, as he shares how the individuals behind the rapid development and acceleration of Artificial Intelligence keep pushing ahead while admitting that they don't know where AI is headed. Kingsnorth writes that “many of them seem to be actively frightened of what is happening, even as they make it happen.” He tells us that when these AI developers were polled for their opinions, over half of those involved in developing AI systems say they believe there is at least a ten percent chance that they will lead to human extinction. This begs a question: are we listening? Tread carefully and with wisdom into new technologies. 

As a parent, what is your posture regarding how your kids will best navigate today's youth culture? I want to warn you against two dangerous postures. Some parents take the approach I call false optimism. It's an approach that looks at the world and with a shrug of the shoulders says, “No need to worry, Everything is going to be alright.” Truth is, the collective lot of children and teens hasn't gotten any better. False optimism leads to forfeited influence because there's nothing anyone needs to do. Another dangerous posture is what I call alarmist pessimism, which looks at the world and says, “It's so bad and so far gone that nobody can do anything about it.” Not only does this view belittle God, but it too forfeits parental influence because there's nothing anyone can do. I would like to encourage you to take the approach of biblical realism, as you seek to accurately understand the culture forces out there, so that you can responsibly lead your kids into navigating all of life to God's glory.

The title of a research study from the University of Hawaii recently caught my eye. The study title is this: “Frequency of Negative Adult Spectator Behavior at Adolescent Sporting Events.” Any of us who have attended a youth sporting event or who are raising young athletes know the sideline behavior of parents is often concerning, and sometimes even appalling. The introduction to the study recognizes that youth sports are a popular extracurricular activity that can support the physical, social, and emotional development of children and adolescents. But based on our current youth sports spectating culture, the researchers also recognize that there are detrimental aspects, including negative parent behavior, which in turn effects young athletes negatively. Researchers found that with eleven to fifteen year old youth baseball, there were an average of 5.2 negative adult spectator behaviors per game. Parents, we need to do better. Let's not turn youth sports into and identity maker or breaker for anyone!

Are you aware that Time Magazine's 2025 Person of the Year is actually a group, rather than an individual? Named as winner were the “Architects of Artificial Intelligence,” an award which is given for the transformative impact AI is having on our culture and lives. Being given the title does not always signify a positive contribution, but rather the most influential contribution.  AI is truly changing our world and our lives, at a speed of cultural change never before seen. One example of AI's negative influence is how its being used for voice cloning and voice phishing. A person receives an urgent phone call or voicemail. The voice of a relative or friend, cloned by AI, then feigns an emotional or financial panic, asking you to wire money or make a credit card payment immediately. AI is truly making us wonder if we can trust anyone or anything anymore. Security experts suggest every family has codewords to be used to verify a caller's identity. This new world requires caution on our part.

Parents, do you understand that seeing your kids come to Jesus is not just about belief, repentance, forgiveness, and eternal life? Something else has to happen after our kids accept Christ as their Savior. Salvation is not just about justification, but about a lifetime of sanctification. We become followers of Jesus who integrate the Christian faith and kingdom of God into all of life. Theologian David Wells describes it this way: “True conversion is not an isolated experience but one that is related to a life of discipleship. Discipleship belongs to and should follow from conversion the way that natural life belongs to and should follow from live birth. And just as there is no discipleship without conversion, so there is not conversion with an ensuing life of discipleship that involves growth in moral maturity, a deepening faith, and loving service.” The goal of our parenting should be to nurture our kids into a compelling faith that transforms every area of their lives.

All this week we've been looking at barriers to lasting faith and the reality that far too many kids are leaving high school, home, and church, then heading off to college and walking away from their faith. In his helpful article, Why Youth Stay In Church When They Grow Up, Pastor Jon Nielson lists three reasons that are present in the lives of young people who continue to embrace and grow in their faith long after high school graduation. First, they have been truly converted. Rather than simply being happy that our kids are attending youth group, we should be praying that the Gospel would be preached into their lives and embraced by our kids. Second, they have been a part of a youth ministry focused on equipping rather than entertaining. While fun is present, the focus is on leading kids deeply into God's Word and the life of discipleship. Finally, kids who grow up and continue to grow in their faith have parents who lived and preached the Gospel to them.

All this week we're looking at barriers to lasting faith and the reality that far too many kids are leaving high school, home, and church, then heading off to college and walking away from their faith. Pastor Jon Nielson believes that one of the foundational reasons for this is that our kids have not grown up in homes where their parents have preached the Gospel to them. My own forty years of experience has taught me that when it comes to faith, kids are most likely to grow up to embrace the beliefs and behaviors they've seen and heard lived and taught by mom and dad. Of course, kids who grow up in non-Christian homes can come to saving faith. And, kids who grow up in strong Christian homes may launch on a Prodigal journey. Parents, don't rely on the youth pastor and youth ministry to nurture your children in the faith. They are there to assist you as you endeavor to grow in your faith, and in turn lead out of your own spiritual maturity as you raise your kids for Christ.

All this week we're looking at barriers to lasting faith and the reality that far too many kids are leaving high school, home, and church, then heading off to college and walking away from their faith. Pastor Jon Nielson believes that one of the foundational reasons for this is that our kids have been entertained by our youth group efforts rather than equipped to live the difficult life of discipleship. He reminds us that in Ephesians, Paul tells us that Christ gave teachers to equip the saints for ministry and to build up the body of Christ. Youth workers need to see themselves primarily as teachers. Have we taught our students well if they graduate from high school without good Bible-reading habits, Bible-study skills, and strong examples of discipleship and prayer? If not, we've lost them. Youth workers, it's good to build loads of fellowship and fun into the youth group experience. But  if that's all there is, we've done more to win kids to fun, than to a lifetime of following Jesus.

All this week we're looking at barriers to lasting faith and the reality that far too many kids are leaving high school, home, and church, then heading off to college and walking away from their faith. Pastor Jon Nielson believes that one of the foundational reasons for this is that our kids have not been converted to the faith. Nielson says that we all too often settle for our kids being nominal Christians or pretty good kids. In Second Corinthians five seventeen, Paul tells us that anyone who is in Christ is a new creation. Salvation is a miracle that comes from the glorious power of God through the working of the Holy Spirit. Nielson believes that we need to stop being pleased with attendance at youth group and retreats. Instead, we need to get back to a focus on conversion and trust God's Spirit to bring about change as we preach, teach, and talk to our kids. Converted kids are hungry to know God's Word. Converted kids go on to love Jesus and serve the Church.

Several years ago here at CPYU we began what we call our College Transition Initiative. This initiative was our response to the concern parents, youth workers, and pastors were expressing regarding the growing percentage of youth group kids who had been raised in Christian homes, but had then gone off to college and pushed either the pause or stop buttons on their faith. It was as if they were jettisoning everything they had learned while growing up, in order to live what's now seen as a normal college life void of Christian commitment. We realized that perhaps we aren't nurturing or discipling young people correctly, leaving them with a mutation of the Christian faith that at the very least is just an ad-on to the rest of life, or at the very worst not even Christian faith at all. Parents, we are called to nurture our children and teens in the faith, teaching them the truths of God's word and trusting God's spirit to change their hearts. Stick with us all week, as we look at barriers to lasting faith.

Several of my youth worker friends are reporting that many kids in their youth groups are feeling increased loneliness. The data supports this growing widespread epidemic of loneliness. God has made us for relationships, and when the pressures of life, the breakdown of the family, over-scheduling, and increased time focused on screens combine, it's a perfect storm resulting in feeling alone. Sadly, Common Sense Media reports that three in four teenagers are now using AI for companionship. And, in an effort to find emotional and mental health support, many are relying on non-human chatbots to counsel and guide them through their struggles. Common Sense Media has issued this stern warning: “Teens should not use AI chatbots for mental health or emotional support. AI chatbots are not safe and reliable for these purposes.” Parents, our kids need real flesh and blood relationships, starting with you. That is the first step in stemming the tide of teen loneliness.

Parents, today I want to encourage you to have your family attend a church where the adults, teenagers, and children all worship together rather than going their separate ways when they walk into the building. By doing this, they will be afforded the opportunity to see the faith modeled by other adults. Writer Steve Garber knows the valuable role the inter-generational Christian community plays in the spiritual awakening, growth, and nurture of kids. He writes, “For individuals to flourish they need to be part of a community of character. Community is the context for the growth of convictions and character. What we believe about life and the world become plausible as we see it lived out all around us.” Parents, your kids need to experience the full breadth and depth of the larger body of Christ. God will use your church and wide diversity of members, young and old alike, to celebrate and affirm all that you are teaching them as you nurture them in the home. 

One of the slang terms you might hear male teenagers use these days is “homiesexual.” We all know that a homie is someone who is a close friend. The term homiesexual can be used in a variety of ways, and it's always helpful to ask just what a person means when they say it. One of the most common definitions applies the term to male friendships that are deep and intimate in emotional ways. Sometimes these friendships defy traditional masculine gender roles, as the homies hug and cuddle without any homosexual feelings or inclinations. In other contexts, the term could refer to a homosexual attraction to or relationship with someone who is a friend. It's always a good thing to ask for clarification when the term is used because of the full spectrum of meanings. We are reminded once again of our need to dig into God's Word to help our kids come to an understanding of the gender binary, and the purpose and place of sex, which is in the context of a heterosexual, monogamous, covenantal marriage.

In his book Against The Machine, writer and thinker Paul Kingsnorth contends that thanks to digital technology and advances in AI, we are moving into a world that is governed by Algorithm's and AI, rather than by God-imaging humanity. In essence, we are letting the machine guide and direct our lives. I want to encourage you to take note of the four values the Machine is promoting. First, there's a reliance on science rather than faith in God's revelation to define the nature of reality. Second, the highest good that's promoted is to serve and advance one's self, rather than living a life of sacrificial selfless Christ-like love. Third, sex is seen as primary to what we do, with the pursuit of my own pleasure as foundational to my identity. And finally, there's the screen, which serves to attract our undivided attention, distracting us from reality and thereby undermining our humanity. Will we allow ourselves and our children to become slaves to the machine, or followers of Jesus Christ?

Now that all of my children have moved out of adolescence, I'm realizing they didn't come equipped with a switch or button that could be tripped or pushed to make them accept, embrace, and believe everything we told them about faith and life. Instead, I needed to allow them to grow just as I was allowed to grow. Our kids intellectual, physical, and spiritual development are all ongoing processes. They don't happen instantaneously or overnight. Our role is to consistently model and speak truth into their lives. Then we must allow the Holy Spirit to do the work that only he can do. We serve to guide and direct. God's Spirit works to bring about change and growth at just the right time, and does so over the course of time. We can't do what only God can do. Always remember they're in process. Prayerfully expect God to open their eyes at just the right time, a time that may, in fact, be pretty far down the road. In the meantime, be faithfully growing and living out your faith before their watchful eyes.

I was recently going through some old family photos from back when I was an elementary-aged boy. I came upon one picture that brought back memories of certain summer days that I just didn't like at all. There I was, sitting in front of a flower bed with a bucket by my side as I was making my way across the front of the house pulling weeds. I was glancing at the camera as my dad snapped the shutter, and truth be told, my glance was really a glare. There were two arguments I remember having regularly with my parents. One came when they instructed me to do my chores, including weeding. The other came when they told me to do my homework. In today's world, those parent-child arguments still exist, but there's a new number one argument at the top of the list. Can you guess what it is? It's over screen time. As parents, we need to nurture our children from a young age into limits on screen time. Christian discipleship includes navigating our devices to God's glory.

Blaise Pascal described a universal hole in the soul as a Godshaped vacuum. Alister McGrath describes Pascal's model as “a God-shaped emptiness within us, which only God can fill. We may try to fill it in other ways and with other things. Yet one of the few certainties of life is that nothing in this world satisfies our longing for something that is ultimately beyond this world.” Teenagers are no different from anyone else. Their great need is to have this God-shaped emptiness filled by God. If you listen and look closely, you'll see and hear that their music, films, social media, and very lives are crying out for spiritual wholeness. Over the years I've had the privilege of working with thousands of teenagers. I can't remember a single one who didn't exhibit this thirst for God. Each of us can look directly into the eyes of the teenagers we know and love and be certain this is their reality, too. Even when they don't recognize it as such, we can rest in the assurance their hunger is for heaven. 

The folks at Defend Young Minds have released some new data telling us that social media is now the most common way that kids are exposed to porn. Six out of ten minors now say they were exposed to porn by accident on social media. This is up from almost four out of ten in 2023. Thirteen is the average age of first exposure, with reports of first exposure even at six years old. And the four most common social media sources for exposure are X, Snapchat, Instagram, and TikTok. The report also states that even if your kids are not searching for sexual content, the algorithms will deliver it to them. Defend Young Minds tells us that the best way to protect your kids from pornography, predators, and other harmful content is to, in their words, delay, delay, and delay your kids access to social media. In addition, we need to teach our kids that pornography is a form of sexual immorality, which takes God's good design for sex, and destroys it through encouragement to sin.

Artificial Intelligence, or AI, is all the buzz right now. It's come on the scene quickly, and so many are enamored with what it can do. For those of us who have engaged with AI through the growing number of apps that are out there, we are generating songs, videos, images, and even text in literally a split second, and what we see is so amazing that it can draw us in just as quickly as it responds to our prompts. Dartmouth University professor Scott Anthony has been watching his students to discern what they're feeling about a future saturated with AI. In an article in Fortune Magazine, titled “They'll lose their humanity: the professor says he's surprised just how scared his Gen Z students are of AI”, Anthony says he's noticing that his students fear losing their critical thinking skills to the AI Machine. The late media philosopher Marshall McLuhan saw this coming. He said this, “We shape our tools and then our tools shape us.” Parents, exercise caution in how you embrace AI in your life and home. 

Raising children in the Christian faith is not an easy job. In fact, the more intentional we are about pointing our kids to Christ and equipping them to live to His glory, the more we become a threat to the enemy of God and his kingdom of darkness. Spiritual oppression, opposition, and trials will come. Satan does not like what intentional Christian parents are doing. I was thinking about this recently while reading James one, two to three: “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for your know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.” Notice that James does not say “if you meet trials.” Rather, he says “when you meet trials.” Family turmoil and difficult situations with kids are realities for all Christian parents. We are told to “count it all joy” when we face these trials. The joy we are to feel is not happiness, but the assurance that God will use these things for our good and His glory. Parents, God is at work parenting you, while you parent your kids.

As we finish up our week-long look at nurturing our kids away from materialism, here are some practical guidelines to help you address this issue in your home. Sit together as a family and read through the Sermon on the Mount. As the passage is read aloud, have each family member jot down anything from Jesus' words that offer insight into how we are to view and manage money and wealth, along with insights into where one finds true meaning and satisfaction in life. Take time to discuss your observations. Tell your children about times in your own life when you had your hopes dashed by something material that did not fulfill as you imagined it would. Evaluate any hopes and expectations for your children and teens that might be pushing them into a lifestyle of materialism. Adjust your hopes and expectations based on this definition of success: “True success in life is faithfulness to God and obedience to his commands, whether your net worth is 10 cents or 10 million dollars.” 

Today we continue our week long look at steering our kids to the Lord, and away from the idolatrous trap of materialism. There is no quick way to survey the Bible's exhortations and warnings regarding money, wealth, and materialism. The Bible is clear that while God does bless many with abundance, it is the love of money and wealth that is sinful and idolatrous. The 10 Commandments forbid the worship of any god other than the one true God, along with coveting things that belong to others. Jesus tells us that one cannot serve both God and money, and that money can blind us to our need to worship and serve God. We are called to put our hope in God alone and to be content with what we have. God's people are to see themselves as stewards rather than owners of all they've been given. We are to honor the Lord with our wealth, giving freely and generously to the work of the Lord. Money and things cannot heal the brokenness in our lives as a result of sin. Only Jesus can! 

All this week we're looking at how to help our kids see and run from the idol of materialism. We need to teach them that the accumulation of things will never satisfy their deepest yearnings and desires. They need to know that they have been created by God for a relationship with God. Sin has broken that relationship, leaving us all spiritually empty and hungering for redemption and restoration. The Book of Ecclesiastes tells us that we have eternity in our hearts, which means that our yearnings can only be answered and filled by God. Only God can fill the hole in our souls. God cares deeply about our attitudes towards money and wealth. Did you know that more is said in the New Testament about money and wealth than about heaven and hell combined? Five times more is said about money than about prayer. And sixteen of Christ's thirty-eight parables deal with money. All of us need to realize that the love of money and and things can consume us, keeping us from living to God's honor and glory.

All this week we're looking at how to push back on the idol of materialism. Materialism is fed by a marketing machine that it is estimated now spends seventeen billion to twenty billion dollars on marketing to children and teens, a number that is projected to increase significantly on an annual basis over the coming years. It's conservatively estimated that by the time they reach the age of eighteen, our kids will easily have seen over a million ads. We must consider the fact that as materialism, marketing, and spending power has been on the rise, there's been a parallel decline in the mental health and well-being of children and teens. Anxiety, stress, body-image issues, depression, loneliness, suicide, and a host of other mental health problems are being fed by the combination of a desire to have more, and the realization that your gnawing emptiness means you will never have enough. Listen in tomorrow as we look at what God's Word says about the idol of materialism.

All of us, parents and kids alike, are swimming in a cultural soup which promotes materialism. We are encouraged hundreds of times a day to hinge our happiness and fulfillment in the ongoing accumulation of as much as we possibly can. As Christians, we need to not only recognize this fact, but we need to take steps to understand how we are drawn to this pervasive idol so that we might smash it to pieces, and raise our kids to love and serve Jesus Christ above all else. Materialism is defined as “the belief that money, possessions and physical comforts are more important than spiritual values”, and “a preoccupation with or stress upon material rather than intellectual or spiritual things”. In today's world, the pervasive presence of marketing has coupled with spiritual emptiness to convince us that it is through the accumulation of money and possessions that one finds the pathway to happiness, satisfaction, security, and joy in life. Listen all week as we look at how to push back on materialism.

One of the most effective ways to get our kids to look critically and Christianly through eyes of faith at their rapidly changing culture is to help them understand and apply the truths of God's Word. In fact, this ranks right up there as job number one as we take on our responsibility to nurture our children and teens in the faith. One particularly helpful practice is to sit together in church in order to listen to the Word of God preached in the sermon. The practice of taking notes is one we should both model and teach to our kids. Then, each and every week, use the drive home or a time together later in the day to ask a question or two of everyone in the family. Here are some basic questions to get you started. What's one new thing you learned about Jesus or God? What was the big idea that the pastor was communicating? Was there anything you didn't understand or found confusing? What does what we heard in the sermon mean for our lives? Do your kids a favor, and help them to listen, learn, and apply.

Here's a warning to parents from Union University's Phil Davignon. In a Touchstone article on increased secularization, he says we should be concerned about the influence of media content on our kids, but at the same time we let our kids watch all kinds of things online. He writes, “It is an open secret that the design for these apps relies on the same principles as casinos do. Psychologists suggest that using the language of addiction is no mere metaphor, since apps such as TikTok efficiently deliver a dopamine hit, leaving people craving more. Christian parents may prefer content-neutral social media to films with foul language, but doing so fails to recognize that form matters. Christians are people of the Word. To love God means to cultivate a mind that attends to God's presence in the Word of Scripture and the Logos of Creation. The TikTok generation is losing the capability to attend to anything of substance, as their minds become accustomed to a steady stream of online diversions.” 

When we can't act responsibly, behaving ourselves in ways that don't risk danger to others and ourselves, outside intervention is needed so that the most vulnerable are protected. For several years now we've been talking about the out-of-control idolatry of youth sports, a reality that puts incredible pressure on our kids, costs vast amounts of time and money, and can lead to all kinds physical, emotional, relational, and spiritual problems. While sports is a good thing when experienced as one part of a child's balanced life, we've made them an ultimate thing, and it's costing our kids, our families, and our culture dearly. Kids feel the anxiety from the pressure to perform, while parents allow themselves the anxiety of paying exorbitant amounts of money for kids to participate. Now Congress is intervening to stop what's being labeled as a crisis in youth sports that is exacting great costs both now and in the future. Parents, let's remember that the most important thing is pointing our kids to Jesus.

I just don't know who or what to believe anymore! Have you ever found yourself thinking or saying this out loud regarding what you encounter or social media. With advances in AI generated content and the ways in which we as individual users can create content on social media, those of us who are concerned about the accuracy of what we see oftentimes leaves us scratching our heads while muttering, “Is that true?” The reality is that we are living in a world where the prevalence of falsehood is on the rise, as well as the chances for each of us to be scammed or duped. A new report from the Pew Research Center tells us that a fifth of U.S. adults now regularly get their news on TikTok, a figure which is up sharply since 2020. In fact, forty-three percent of adults under the age of thirty say they regularly get their news from TikTok, which is up from nine percent in 2020. While we can't tell you where to go to find trusted truth online, we can tell you to beware, and to warn your kids to do the same.

We just celebrated Valentine's Day, that holiday that's traditionally filled with red hearts, cupid's arrows, rose bouquets, and chocolates. Many of our younger kids had the opportunity to share those cute little Valentine's Day cards with their classmates. I remember bringing home  a bag filled with twenty to thirty cards every year when I was a kid. And while Valentine's Day was all about love, I have to admit that my young mind really didn't understand what romantic love actually was. How about taking some time this week to throw out these questions at the dinner table in order to give all your kids an opportunity to truly understand romantic love. How did God lead you to the person you married? What is one piece of marriage advice that you think it's important for kids to hear? How does the Bible define love versus what we see in the movies? How does a married couple stay together through difficult times? And what does God want us to know about marriage?

I remember being a young kid and singing these words in church: "Are you weak and heavy-laden? Burdened with a load of care?" As parents, there have been times when all of us have had to honestly answer "Yes". At other times, the "Yes" comes from dear friends who are locked into periods of unimaginable burden-bearing. Difficulty is to be expected as we are all sinners living in a broken world. If you take the time to read Hebrews 12 you will find words on sonship and the Lord's discipline. God disciplines those He loves. We are reminded that while we may be feeling crushed by the weight of our present burdens, God is present and at work. Remember the words of Hebrews 12:11 - "For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it." Parents, remember that while you are parenting your children, God is parenting and forming you, especially during the hard times.

In the past, you've heard me talk about the epidemic of body dysmorphia which is spreading like wildfire thanks to social media. Body dysmorphia is defined as a mental disorder marked by an overwhelming and all-consuming preoccupation with a perceived flaw in one's appearance. One new subset is what's called muscle dysmorphia, a belief that one's body is too small, too skinny, and not muscular enough. This has also been called bigorexia, megarexia, and reverse anorexia. Mental health and medical experts are now warning that this is the latest eating disorder affecting our teens, as more and more teenagers, particularly our boys, are struggling with bigorexia. Much of this is being fueled by the presence of social media and the comparison it fosters, while promoting muscularity as a measure of one's value. We must help our kids understand that their identity is not to be found in what they look like. Rather, it's the value they already have in God's eyes that counts.

The Genesis creation narrative tells us that after creating humankind both male and female in His own image, God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it.” This creation mandate reveals God's intentions for His image-bearers. New research conducted by the Pew Research Center indicates that for today's teenagers ages thirteen to seventeen, getting married and having kids is not a top priority. In fact, eighty-six percent of the respondents say that it's extremely or very important for them to have a job or career they enjoy and which brings financial success when they reach adulthood. Only thirty-six percent said that they cared about getting married, and just thirty percent say it's important to have children. With the cultural tide moving in this direction, perhaps we need to do a better job of teaching about God's heart and design for the family, teaching them that having and raising children is a high privilege and high calling!

Do you remember your own middle school years? For most of us, it seemed brutal. Some things never change. Young peers can create, find, and point out all kinds of negative things in ways that are now sometimes defined as “bullying” or “harassment.” But if your home is place of refuge from that craziness, you will be instilling a healthy sense of resiliency that can sustain your kids through the pressure. One way to do this is to take the opposite approach of their peers. . . who are all too quick to point out and celebrate deficiencies. Look for and encourage your teen to develop their God-given gifts and abilities. Complement them on their successes. Point out their strengths. We need to be parents who are encouragers rather than discouragers. And, as we encourage our kids to develop their gifts, remind them of the importance of excellence. Exercising and developing one's gifts and abilities is ultimately an act of worship. See and celebrate the uniqueness God has placed in your kids.

It is not enough to see our kids come to Jesus. Rather, our goal should be to lead them into walking with Jesus, both now and for the rest of their lives. Some three hundred and seventy five years ago, the Puritan pastor Jeremiah Burroughs wrote about what it means to walk with God. He wrote, "Walking with God is when we make God's will the rule of our will. The soul does what God does. What's the way of God but the way of holiness and righteousness, when the soul makes the will of God to be its own rule? I will not act on my own will. I will not act on anything but the will of God. What is it that God wills? Then I will the same thing. The soul walks the way God walks when it suits itself with God, when it sets the Lord as an example before it. This is to walk with God: to do as God does, to imitate God." Parents, God has willed that you be the one to nurture your children in the faith. You do so through your words and your actions. And there's not substitute for the example of your walk with God.

Recent research from Lifeway tells us that “the single greatest influence over spiritual health is regular Bible reading while growing up. Plainly put, the parents of young adults indicate that regular Bible reading as children yields the greatest influence over spiritual health.” Any of us who are Bible readers know this to be personally true, as the Holy Spirit works to change us, conforming us to the image of Christ as we read God's Word. And what could serve as a better example to our children than our time spent reading and studying the Bible, along with the time we spend reading the Bible together as a family. As an adult, I realize now that my greatest and most treasured memories are not those of family vacations or other family activities. Yes, those are great memories, but they don't hold the same value as those memories of habits and times that shaped my faith and who I am today. I'm grateful to my parents for their example as Bible readers who took God's Word seriously.