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Episode Description:Healing from divorce trauma, betrayal, addiction, and grief starts with understanding what you can control—and releasing what you can't.In this deeply personal episode of Doing Divorce Different, Lesa Koski sits down with author Dana Killion to explore healing from divorce trauma and what it really takes to move from surviving something painful to becoming emotionally whole.Dana shares her experience of discovering her husband's secret life while he was in treatment for alcoholism, the difficult decision to eventually end their marriage, the deaths of both parents, and the devastating loss of her oldest son.Together, Lesa and Dana explore why getting an answer to “why?” can be so important after betrayal—and what to do when the person who hurt you cannot give you that answer. Dana introduces her “story of why” process: using the facts you know to create enough understanding to stop cycling through resentment and begin finding closure.They also discuss healing from divorce trauma when addiction is involved, why loving someone doesn't mean you can save them, how boundaries can coexist with love, and how to recognize when unresolved anger may be a sign that your healing isn't finished.Most importantly, this episode offers hope for anyone who feels overwhelmed by what comes next. You don't have to solve your entire future today. One small step can become another—and those baby steps can eventually become a ladder.If you're navigating divorce, betrayal, addiction, grief, or another major life transition, this conversation about healing from divorce trauma will remind you that what happened to you does not have to determine what happens next.Timestamps:(00:00) Introduction to Dana Killion and Becoming Unbreakable(02:00) Dana's story of addiction, betrayal, divorce, and profound loss(05:30) Why trauma makes us question our history and identity(08:00) What to do when you never get the “why”(10:00) Creating your own “story of why” to find closure(13:00) The three versions of your trauma story(16:00) Loving someone struggling with addiction(20:00) The question: “What if this is as good as it gets?”(24:00) Why you cannot save another person(28:00) How to know whether you're actually healed(32:00) Turning a wound into a scar(36:00) Trauma, forgiveness, and releasing resentment(40:00) Why both people have emotional work to do(43:00) What to do when trauma knocks you off your feet(47:00) Baby steps: rebuilding confidence one action at a time(50:00) How small steps become a ladder forwardKey Takeaways:Closure doesn't always have to come from the person who hurt you. Dana's “story of why” can help you create understanding from the facts you already know.Loving someone with an addiction does not give you the power to do their recovery work for them.Lingering bitterness and resentment may be signs that a traumatic experience still needs healing.You control how much of your story you share—and with whom.When divorce or trauma feels overwhelming, don't solve your entire future. Take one small, constructive step and build from there.Guest Bio:Dana Killion is an author, speaker, and trauma-informed guide whose work focuses on resilience, healing, and moving beyond survival. Her newest book, Becoming Unbreakable: A Big Sister's Guide to Trauma, draws on her lived experience with an addictive marriage, divorce, the loss of both parents, relocation, and the death of her oldest son. Dana uses her story and hard-earned insights to help others understand trauma and move toward emotional wholeness.Resource Links:https://www.danakillion.com/?utm_source=chatgpt.comhttps://amplifypublishinggroup.com/product/nonfiction/health-medicine-and-wellness/mental-health/becoming-unbreakable/?utm_source=chatgpt.comOsteoStrong Minnesota — https://osteostrongmn.com/affiliate-referral-koski/Soberlink for Family Law — https://www.soberlink.com/divorce/family-law?utm_source=affiliatelink&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=lesa-koski-affiliatelinkAffiliate disclosure: Some links above are affiliate links, which means I may receive a commission if you purchase through them, at no additional cost to you.Tags/Keywords:healing from divorce trauma, divorce trauma, divorce recovery, healing after divorce, betrayal trauma, divorce and addiction, alcoholic spouse, addiction and marriage, divorce after infidelity, trauma recovery, finding closure after divorce, emotional healing after divorce, divorce support for women, women over 40 divorce, divorce mediation, divorce coach, co-parenting, rebuilding after divorce, grief after divorce, forgiveness after betrayal, boundaries in marriage, Dana Killion, Becoming Unbreakable, Doing Divorce Different, Lesa Koski

Guided Divorce MeditationsIf you're stuck in a divorce fight that is making you anxious, angry, or completely unable to think clearly, start here.Our Guided Divorce Meditations are designed for the moments when you need to regulate your nervous system before you respond, negotiate, argue, or make another expensive decision.Divorce Crash CourseGoing through divorce and wondering what you should fight for, what you should let go, and how to avoid making expensive mistakes?Our Divorce Crash Course is a private podcast and guidebook designed to help you understand the divorce process, make smarter decisions, and avoid costly emotional mistakes.Typically priced at $150, it's available now for $50, thanks to our angel underwriters OurFamilyWizard and Soberlink.Episode Show NotesPeople spend thousands of dollars fighting over some truly ridiculous things in divorce.A wooden spoon. A blender. A sixth-grade yearbook. Beanie Babies. Airline miles. Even a tanning bed.And as funny as those stories sound, there is a very real reason they matter.Because most of the time, the thing you are fighting over is not actually the thing you are fighting over.In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea Rappaport and family law attorney Morgan Stogsdill are joined by attorneys Sarah Jacobs and Jamie Berger of Jacobs Berger for a conversation about the emotional and financial cost of digging in during divorce. One client spent hours in court fighting over a wooden spoon named Willy Woo. Another divorce came down to a battle over a blender. And one case required attorneys to spend days sorting through tubs of Beanie Babies because neither side could let them go. The stories are absurd.The behavior behind them is not.Divorce Can Turn Small Things Into Expensive BattlesWhen you are going through divorce, emotion can completely distort value.An object may be worth $100, but suddenly it represents your marriage, your history, your independence, your power, or your need to finally “win.”That is where people start spending far more in attorney fees than the thing they are fighting over is actually worth.In the episode, Andrea points out that the fight over one wooden spoon likely cost thousands of dollars in legal fees alone. And that is exactly why divorce strategy matters.Before you dig in, you have to ask yourself:What is this actually worth?Not emotionally.Financially.The Real Problem May Be ControlSometimes the fight is not about property at all.Morgan explains that many of these so-called “squirrel issues” ultimately come down to control. When someone feels like they have lost control of their life, their finances, their family, or the divorce process itself, they may try to regain that feeling of control by pushing the other person's buttons. Sarah adds that fear can drive the same behavior: fear of change, fear of being alone, fear of losing the life you knew, and fear of what comes next. That means the blender may not be about the blender.The yearbook may not be about the yearbook.And the airline miles may not be about the airline miles.Sometimes the fight itself has become a way to stay connected to the relationship, hold onto control, or avoid confronting the much bigger reality that the marriage is ending.Principle Has a Price TagOne of the strongest lines in this episode comes from Jamie:Principle has a price tag.If you are fighting over something purely because you believe you are right, you need to understand what that principle is going to cost you.That cost may be financial.It may also be emotional.You can absolutely decide that something matters enough to fight for. But that decision should be intentional—not reactive.Jamie recommends being honest with yourself and with your attorney about what truly matters to you and why. Treat Divorce Like a Business TransactionMorgan's advice is simple: do the math.Take the emotion out of the issue for a moment and write down the actual numbers.What is the item worth?What would it cost to replace?How many hours will your attorney spend fighting over it?How much will those hours cost?What are you potentially giving up in order to get it?Sometimes seeing those numbers on paper is enough to change your perspective. That does not mean divorce is emotionless.It means your decisions should not be controlled by those emotions.Give Your Attorney the “Shark Tank” PitchSarah offers another test:If you are determined to fight for something, explain why it matters in a way that would actually sound reasonable to a judge.Sell the argument.Explain the value.Explain what you are willing to give up in exchange.If you cannot make the case convincingly to your own attorney, you may want to reconsider whether this is really the hill you want to die on. And that matters beyond the object itself.Being unreasonable about a relatively small issue can affect how your position is perceived when the court is dealing with things that matter much more—support, custody, property division, or settlement.Ask Yourself What This Will Matter Five Years From NowThis may be the most useful perspective shift in the entire episode.Five years from now, are you going to care who got the blender?Are you really going to remember the airline miles?Will winning the fight over a piece of furniture have made your post-divorce life meaningfully better?Probably not.Andrea shares her own experience of losing a baby blanket she had slept with since birth—something she once believed she could never live without. A decade later, she is still standing. That is not to minimize the emotional meaning of possessions.It is to remind you that you are capable of letting go.Three Questions to Ask Before You FightBefore you spend another dollar arguing over something in your divorce, do three things.First, ask yourself why this matters so much.Second, do the math and compare the value of the item to the cost of fighting for it.Third, if you still want it, make the case. Explain why it matters, what it is worth, and what you are willing to give up to get it.If you cannot answer those questions clearly, it may not be worth the fight. Because getting divorced is already expensive enough.You do not need to make it more expensive just to prove a point.In This EpisodeAndrea, Morgan, Sarah, and Jamie discuss ridiculous divorce fights, how emotional attachment can drive up legal fees, why control and fear fuel unnecessary conflict, when possessions really are worth negotiating over, how mediation can help rein in a case, and how to make smarter financial decisions during divorce.They also tackle one critical question:Is this thing actually valuable—or are you just trying to win?SEO Keywordsdivorce mistakes, expensive divorce mistakes, what to fight for in divorce, divorce legal fees, divorce strategy, fighting over assets in divorce, divorce property division, emotional divorce decisions, high conflict divorce, divorce settlement strategy, divorce mediation, divorce attorney fees, divorce negotiation tips, divorce financial mistakes, dividing property in divorce

Need Help Calming Your Nervous System?Try our Guided Divorce Meditations, created specifically for the moments when divorce anxiety, anger and overwhelm are taking over.Use them before responding to a triggering text, before a difficult conversation, before court, before mediation—or anytime you need help getting out of your head and back into control.Divorce Crash CourseGoing through divorce and have no idea what you're supposed to be doing next? Start with our Divorce Crash Course—a private podcast and guidebook designed to help you understand the divorce process, avoid expensive mistakes, and feel a whole lot less lost.Typically priced at $150, it's available now for just $50, thanks to our angel underwriters OurFamilyWizard and Soberlink.High-conflict people—and especially manipulative, narcissistic exes—can have an incredible ability to get inside your head. One text, one email, one strange interaction at school pickup can completely derail your nervous system if you let it.And during divorce, that matters.Because when you are already emotionally exhausted, stressed, angry and running on fumes, that is exactly when you are most likely to make a bad decision. You fire off the text. You respond to the email. You call your attorney while completely dysregulated. You snap at your kids. You take the bait.In this mini episode, Andrea talks about what happens when a high-conflict ex triggers you and why your first job is not to win, explain, defend or react. Your first job is to recognize that you are triggered and give yourself a grown-up timeout.And that is where STFU comes in.No, not that STFU.This one stands for:S — StopRecognize what is happening before you react.T — Take SpaceGet out of the immediate situation long enough to regulate yourself.F — Find Your GoalAsk yourself what you actually want to accomplish in that moment.U — Utilize a ResourceCall a friend. Talk to your therapist. Go for a walk. Fold laundry. Clean the kitchen. Listen to music. Or use one of our Guided Divorce Meditations to help calm your nervous system and move through the anxiety, anger and overwhelm before you do something you regret.Andrea also talks about splitting, a manipulation tactic often seen in high-conflict dynamics. Splitting can push you away from the very people who are trying to support you—your friends, family, therapist, attorney or partner. And when you are already worn down by divorce, it becomes even easier to start taking your stress out on those people.That is exactly why emotional regulation matters so much during a high-conflict divorce.The goal is not to never get triggered. You will.The goal is to catch yourself before that trigger starts making decisions for you.And if you are in one of those moments where your brain is spinning, your heart is racing and you feel like you are about to absolutely lose it, this is also exactly what our Guided Divorce Meditations were created for. They are short, practical tools you can use when divorce anxiety, anger or panic is taking over and you need help getting yourself back to baseline.Because sometimes the best thing you can do for your case, your kids and your own sanity is simple:Stop. Take space. Find your goal. Utilize a resource.Divorce is a marathon. Protect your energy. Protect your judgment. Protect the relationships that matter to you.And when a high-conflict ex tries to pull you into the chaos?Do not take the bait.In This EpisodeAndrea talks about dealing with a high-conflict or narcissistic ex, recognizing emotional manipulation during divorce, avoiding reactive communication, managing divorce triggers, understanding splitting, using the STFU method to regulate yourself, and knowing when to step away before making a costly mistake.Need Help Calming Your Nervous System?Try our Guided Divorce Meditations, created specifically for the moments when divorce anxiety, anger and overwhelm are taking over.Use them before responding to a triggering text, before a difficult conversation, before court, before mediation—or anytime you need help getting out of your head and back into control.Subscribe to the podcast so you don't miss an episode, and leave us a review if the show is helping you.www.ratethispodcast.com/notsuckYou can do this. You are doing this. And you are going to get through your divorce.high conflict divorce, narcissistic divorce, divorcing a narcissist, narcissistic manipulation in divorce, high conflict ex, divorce triggers, emotional manipulation, toxic ex spouse, divorce anxiety, emotional regulation during divorce, co parenting with a narcissist, how to respond to a narcissist, divorce meditation, guided divorce meditation, divorce stress, divorce podcast

Episode Description:Divorce advice for women navigating emotional overwhelm, finances, co-parenting, conflict, and rebuilding confidence with attorney Nicole Sodoma.When divorce is new and emotions are high, it can feel nearly impossible to think clearly, make financial decisions, or know what to do next. In this episode of Doing Divorce Different, Lesa Koski sits down with family law attorney, author, and certified parenting coordinator Nicole Sodoma to offer practical divorce advice for women who feel overwhelmed, afraid, or unprepared.Drawing from 25 years of family law experience—and her own divorce—Nicole explains why emotional support and legal advice should come from different professionals, how women can begin understanding their finances, and why gathering information is one of the most empowering first steps.Lesa and Nicole also explore why women apologize when they have done nothing wrong, how “I'm sorry” can become a way to avoid necessary conflict, and why healthy relationships require boundaries, communication, and honest conversations.You'll also hear meaningful divorce advice for women raising children through separation, including how to avoid loyalty binds, communicate with a difficult co-parent, and recognize that each child may experience the same divorce very differently. Nicole shares practical tools such as scheduled co-parenting communication, a shared email account for school and activity information, and the powerful biblical practice of “Selah”—pausing before responding when emotions are high.This honest conversation offers compassionate divorce advice for women who want to make thoughtful decisions, protect their children, understand their finances, and move forward without losing themselves. Listen, save, and share this episode with someone who needs to know that she is not alone.Timestamps:(00:00) Introduction to divorce advice for women with Nicole Sodoma(02:00) Nicole's experience as a family law attorney and divorced mother(04:40) What to do when divorce emotions feel overwhelming(08:35) Empowering women during and after divorce(11:00) Why women must understand their finances(16:30) Why women say “I'm sorry” when they are not sorry(18:15) Conflict avoidance, boundaries, and relationship repair(21:00) Gray divorce, personal change, and evolving within marriage(25:30) Helping children cope with separation and divorce(27:40) How children experience divorce differently(30:15) Staying for the children versus modeling a healthy relationship(32:20) Prenuptial agreements and having difficult financial conversations(37:20) Communicating with a difficult co-parent(38:30) Using a shared email account for children's information(40:15) When AI may help improve co-parenting communication(41:30) The biblical meaning of “Selah” and pausing before responding(43:00) Final encouragement from Nicole and LesaKey Takeaways:Seek emotional support from a therapist or coach so your attorney can focus on providing legal strategy and advice.Learn where the money is, gather financial records, and do not allow embarrassment to keep you uninformed.Repeatedly saying “I'm sorry” may avoid immediate conflict, but it can prevent couples from addressing the real issue.Children experience divorce differently and should never be asked to carry a parent's emotional burden or choose sides.Create calm, factual, and predictable co-parenting communication—and practice “Selah” by pausing before responding to a trigger.Guest Bio:Nicole Sodoma is a marriage-loving divorce attorney, author, certified parenting coordinator, and certified collaborative law attorney with more than 25 years of family law experience. She is the founder and managing principal of Sodoma Law, a family law firm serving clients across multiple offices and states. Nicole is also the author of Please Don't Say You're Sorry, a candid and compassionate book about marriage, separation, divorce, and rebuilding. As a divorced mother of three and stepparent of two, Nicole brings both professional expertise and deeply personal insight to conversations about divorce, co-parenting, finances, and life after separation.Resource Links:Nicole Sodoma's website: https://nicolesodoma.com/Order Please Don't Say You're Sorry: https://nicolesodoma.com/order/Sodoma Law: https://sodomalaw.com/Follow Nicole on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nicolesodoma/Connect with Nicole on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicolesodomaOurFamilyWizard co-parenting communication platform: https://www.ourfamilywizard.com/OsteoStrong Minnesota—Lesa's affiliate link: https://osteostrongmn.com/affiliate-referral-koski/Soberlink family-law alcohol monitoring—Lesa's affiliate link: https://www.soberlink.com/divorce/family-law?utm_source=affiliatelink&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=lesa-koski-affiliatelinkAffiliate Disclosure: Some links may be affiliate links. If you make a purchase through one of these links, Lesa may receive compensation at no additional cost to you.Tags/Keywords:divorce advice for women, Nicole Sodoma, Lesa Koski, Doing Divorce Different, women and divorce, divorce attorney advice, preparing for divorce, emotional divorce support, divorce financial preparation, finances during divorce, co-parenting after divorce, co-parenting communication, helping children through divorce, divorce with children, high-conflict co-parenting, gray divorce, divorce empowerment, stop apologizing, women saying sorry, boundaries in marriage, conflict resolution, life after divorce, family law attorney, parenting coordinator, collaborative divorce, prenuptial agreements, Please Don't Say You're Sorry, Selah pause before responding, Christian divorce support, faith during divorce, shared parenting email, OurFamilyWizard, Soberlink, divorce podcast

September is National Recovery Month, so I'm kicking off a mini-series called Sobriety 101. This one's for anyone who wants a path to recovery outside of the traditional 12 steps. I'm a 12-stepper myself, but after 450+ episodes of this podcast, I know there isn't just one way to get and stay sober. In this episode, I'm sharing what I would do first if I were starting over today and didn't want to go the 12-step route: get brutally honest with myself about whether I can actually moderate. I talk about my own two years of trying (and failing) to control my drinking, the writing exercise I'd use to get clarity fast, and a warning about "coaches" who prey on people who aren't ready to fully give up alcohol. Today marks 11,821 days sober for me, one day at a time. This episode is brought to you by Soberlink, a high-tech breathalyzer with facial recognition and tamper sensors that sends results straight to the people who need proof you're doing the work. Go to soberlink.com/oneday to claim your $100 enrollment bonus with a qualifying plan. Next week: how to get through your first week of sobriety, nervous system regulation, and how to identify (and survive) your drinking triggers. If there's a topic you want me to cover in this series, leave a comment and let me know. Subscribe on YouTube and Apple Podcasts, and share this with someone who needs it.

Divorce and Emotional Endurance: 3 Ways to Survive a High-Conflict DivorceGuided Divorce Meditations for When You're About to Lose Your Sh$tFor the moments when you can't sleep, when you miss your kids, when you're worried about money, or just need to get through the next ten minutes.

Divorce and Hidden Cryptocurrency: How to Find Crypto Your Spouse May Be Hiding

Episode Title: Can You Keep the House in Divorce? Mortgage Assumptions, Refinancing & the Mistakes to AvoidEpisode Description: Keeping the house in divorce? Learn how mortgage assumptions, refinancing, home equity buyouts, and divorce-decree wording can affect your future. For many families, deciding what to do with the home is one of the most emotional—and financially significant—parts of divorce. Selling is not always the only answer. Keeping it is not always the right answer, either. The key is getting the right information before your agreement is final.In this episode of Doing Divorce Different, Lesa Koski talks with divorce mortgage specialist Brett Leschinsky about what it really takes to keep the house in divorce. They explain why a low interest rate should not be the only factor in your decision, how a name-delete mortgage assumption works, and why the spouse keeping the home must qualify using post-divorce income and debt.You will also learn the critical difference between being on the title and being on the loan, how missed payments can affect an ex-spouse whose name remains on the mortgage, and why precise divorce-decree wording may influence whether an equity payment is treated as a buyout or a cash-out refinance. Brett also shares when temporarily keeping both names on a loan may work—and why trust, timing, and a detailed exit plan matter.If you are wondering whether you can keep the house in divorce, refinance after divorce, assume your current mortgage, or buy another home before the divorce is final, this conversation will help you ask smarter questions before signing your decree. Listen, save, and share this episode with anyone facing decisions about divorce, real estate, or mortgage financing.Timestamps (approximate)(00:00) Introduction: Can you afford to keep the house in divorce?(02:50) How Brett became a divorce mortgage specialist(07:15) The emotional and financial sides of keeping the family home(09:00) Why higher interest rates changed divorce negotiations(11:45) Mortgage assumptions: where to start and whom to call(15:30) Qualifying with post-divorce income, debts, and debt-to-income ratios(20:55) Why divorce-decree wording matters to mortgage underwriting(23:00) Home-equity buyout versus cash-out refinance(26:00) DIY divorce paperwork and when limited-scope legal help may matter(29:50) Title versus loan: ownership is not the same as repayment responsibility(34:20) Risks of leaving both spouses on the loan after divorce(38:40) Final advice and Brett's mortgage-rate handbookProduction note: Replace these estimates with exact player timestamps after the final audio edit, especially if advertisements or an introduction are added.Key TakeawaysDo not automatically sell the home—or automatically fight to keep it. Compare the full post-divorce cost of ownership with realistic alternatives, including rent.A mortgage assumption is never guaranteed. Confirm that the servicer allows it and learn its underwriting requirements before the divorce is finalized.The spouse keeping the home generally must qualify using post-decree income and debts; servicers may apply different debt-to-income limits.Title and loan responsibility are separate. A quitclaim deed can change ownership, but it does not remove a borrower from the loan.The wording in the divorce decree can affect financing options. Coordinate with a divorce mortgage specialist and legal professional before signing—not after.Guest BioBrett Leschinsky is a Minnesota mortgage consultant (NMLS #334641) who has worked in mortgage lending since 2002 and specializes in home-financing issues connected to divorce. After discovering that traditional mortgage advice did not always fit divorcing families, he committed himself to helping clients and family-law professionals understand assumptions, refinancing, equity buyouts, loan qualification, and timing. Brett has discussed divorce mortgage mistakes on WCCO's Real Estate Radio Hour and has presented educational programs for family-law attorneys.Resource LinksConnect with Brett Leschinsky / Mortgage Forest: https://mortgageforest.com/Contact Brett or request his Divorce Handbook: https://mortgageforest.com/contact/OsteoStrong Minnesota: https://osteostrongmn.com/affiliate-referral-koski/ (affiliate link)Soberlink for Family Law: https://www.soberlink.com/divorce/family-law?utm_source=affiliatelink&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=lesa-koski-affiliatelink (affiliate link)Affiliate disclosure: Some links may be affiliate links, which means Lesa may receive a commission at no additional cost to you.Tags/Keywordskeeping the house in divorce, divorce mortgage, mortgage assumption after divorce, refinance after divorce, home equity buyout divorce, divorce and real estate, name delete assumption, remove spouse from mortgage, divorce decree mortgage wording, title versus mortgage, quitclaim deed divorce, buying a home during divorce, divorce financial planning, family home after divorce, divorce mortgage specialist, Minnesota divorce, divorce mediation, Doing Divorce Different, Lesa Koski, Brett Leschinsky

Divorce Keeping You Up at Night? How to Stop the 2 A.M. SpiralDIVORCE CRASH COURSE: Divorce is expensive. Making avoidable mistakes makes it even more expensive. Our Divorce Crash Course gives you the information we wish every person had before and during divorce—from choosing an attorney and understanding your finances to custody, parenting agreements and the mistakes that can cost you thousands.Typically priced at $150, available now for $50, thanks to our angel underwriters, OurFamilyWizard and Soberlink.[GET THE DIVORCE CRASH COURSE HERE]NEW: GUIDED DIVORCE MEDITATIONS: When your brain won't shut up about your divorce, we made something specifically for that. Our Guided Divorce Meditations are short, on-demand meditations for the moments divorce hits hardest—including when you can't sleep, you're worried about money or your kids, you're spiraling about your marriage, or you're struggling with a custody transition.[GET THE GUIDED DIVORCE MEDITATIONS HERE]If divorce is keeping you awake at night, you're definitely not alone.You go to bed exhausted, but the second everything gets quiet, your brain decides it's time to solve your entire divorce.What if my ex is hiding money? What if something happens with the kids? What does that email from my attorney mean? What if this goes to trial? Did I remember to send that document? Should I respond to that text? What if I can't afford this?Suddenly it's 2:34 a.m., you're wide awake, and you're trying to solve problems that probably cannot be solved from your bed.In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea Rappaport and family law attorney Morgan Stogsdill are talking about divorce anxiety, insomnia and what to do when you can't stop thinking about your divorce at night.And we're giving you an actual strategy.Morgan explains how to separate the things that genuinely require action from the things that feel urgent because your anxious brain is filling in the blanks. Andrea shares why losing sleep during divorce can make an already difficult situation worse—and potentially affect the decisions you're making the next day.The goal isn't to pretend everything is fine.It's learning to recognize what needs your action—and what needs your inaction.In This Episode You'll LearnWhy divorce anxiety can feel so much worse at nightWhat to do when you wake up worrying about your divorceThe pen-and-paper strategy Morgan recommends for getting worries out of your headHow to determine whether something actually requires actionWhy you should think twice before emailing your divorce attorney late at nightHow to create a running list of questions for your attorneyWhy you should draft—but NOT send—emotional late-night emailsHow late-night texts and emails from your ex can destroy your sleepWhy setting communication boundaries with your co-parent mattersHow to use OurFamilyWizard notification settings more strategicallyWhy sometimes doing absolutely nothing is the smartest action you can takeWhat to tell yourself when your brain refuses to shut downWhy resting can be enough when you can't force yourself to fall asleepHow changing your environment may help break the cycle when you're lying awake spiralingThe 2 A.M. Divorce Brain DumpIf you wake up in the middle of the night and your brain is racing, Morgan recommends keeping a pen and paper next to your bed.Write down everything that's occupying your brain—not just the divorce stuff.Then go through the list and ask yourself:Can I actually take action on this tonight?Or:Do I have any control over the outcome of this tonight?If the answer is no, cross it out for tonight.If the answer is yes, decide whether it truly requires action immediately or whether you can make a plan to handle it tomorrow.Most things can wait until morning.And if it's something you want to discuss with your divorce attorney, write it down or put the email in your drafts. Do not hit send at 2 a.m.Your rested morning brain may have a very different—and considerably shorter—email to send.Stop Letting Your Ex Into Your BedroomNot literally. We have an entirely different podcast episode for that problem.We're talking about your phone.If your ex tends to send inflammatory texts, emails or co-parenting messages late at night, you do not have to allow those notifications to dictate when your nervous system goes into overdrive.Morgan recommends setting boundaries around when you receive and read messages. Andrea also points out that if you're using OurFamilyWizard, you can choose when you receive your daily notifications.Your ex's 10:30 p.m. message does not automatically become your 10:31 p.m. emergency.And it goes both ways.Don't send your ex angry late-night messages either. Aside from destroying everyone's sleep, creating a documented pattern of bad communication is probably not something you want your attorneys—or potentially a judge—reading later.What Needs Action—and What Needs Inaction?We often divide our problems into two categories:Things I can control.Things I can't control.Andrea offers a different way to think about it during divorce:What needs my action?And:What needs my inaction?Sometimes inaction is an active decision.You can recognize that something is scary, painful or uncertain without trying to solve it tonight.You aren't pretending the problem doesn't exist.You're deciding:Not now.Tomorrow, you can reopen the box.Tonight, your job is to rest.When Your Brain Still Won't Shut UpSometimes you've written everything down. You've made tomorrow's list. You've silenced your notifications. You've decided what can wait.And your brain is still going.That's exactly why we created our Guided Divorce Meditations.Earlier this week, we released one of the meditations completely free on the podcast: For When You Can't Sleep.It's about 10 minutes long, and Andrea walks you through putting those thoughts and fears somewhere safe for the night—not throwing them away, not pretending they don't matter, but giving yourself permission to stop carrying them until morning.The complete Guided Divorce Meditation library is $20 and includes meditations created specifically for different moments of divorce when you need help quieting the noise.[GET THE GUIDED DIVORCE MEDITATIONS HERE]Resources MentionedDivorce Crash CourseGuided Divorce MeditationsOurFamilyWizardSoberlinkSubscribe, Rate & ReviewIf How Not to Suck at Divorce is helping you get through your divorce a little smarter, calmer and more prepared, please subscribe and leave us a review. It helps more people find the show and allows us to keep creating resources that actually help you through this process.Rate the podcast:www.ratethispodcast.com/notsuckAnd remember: you are going to get through this.One step at a time. One day at a time. And sometimes, one hour at a time.You've got this.And we've got you.SEO Keywordsdivorce anxiety, can't sleep during divorce, divorce insomnia, divorce keeping me awake, how to sleep during divorce, anxiety during divorce, divorce stress, divorce anxiety at night, divorce meditation, guided divorce meditation, meditation for divorce anxiety, divorce sleep meditation, how to stop thinking about divorce, divorce overthinking, divorce attorney advice, communicating with ex during divorce, co-parenting communication, divorce lawyer communication, high conflict divorce, divorce mental health, coping with divorce, divorce podcast, How Not to Suck at DivorceMentioned in this episode:Need Extra Cash?Why not see how much Worthy can get you for your ring? It's a risk free process- and Worthy works with you to get the best price possible. Get an extra $100 if your ring sells for more than $1500. https://vip.worthy.com/divorcepod/?utm_medium=podcast&utm_source=how_not_to_suck_at_divorce

Want Your Ex to Behave Better? Try This Instead

Gray divorce after 50 can affect your health, strength, bone density, muscle, and independence. Learn practical ways to rebuild stronger.When we talk about gray divorce, we usually talk about the house, retirement accounts, Social Security, spousal maintenance, and the fear of beginning again. But we do not talk nearly enough about the body carrying us through it all.In this solo episode of Doing Divorce Different, Lesa Koski shares why physical strength deserves a place in every woman's gray divorce plan. Drawing from her own breast cancer recovery, osteopenia diagnosis, menopause journey, and experience with OsteoStrong, Lesa explores how small, sustainable choices can help women care for their bones, preserve muscle, support balance, and protect their independence.You'll hear a thoughtful discussion about bone-density screening, strength and weight-bearing exercise, nourishment during stressful seasons, and questions to ask your healthcare provider—especially if you are postmenopausal, have cancer-treatment history, or use a GLP-1 medication such as Ozempic, Wegovy, or Zepbound.Gray divorce can make the future feel uncertain, but caring for your body is one place where you can begin reclaiming agency. You do not have to transform everything at once. One walk, one nourishing meal, one appointment, or one conversation can become the next strong step in your comeback.This episode is for educational purposes only and is not medical advice. Consult your physician or another qualified healthcare professional about your personal health, medications, nutrition, exercise, and bone-density screening.If this episode encourages you, please follow the show, save it for later, and share it with a woman navigating gray divorce, menopause, weight loss, cancer recovery, or another major midlife transition.Timestamps (approximate):(00:00) Why physical strength matters during gray divorce(02:35) Bone loss, osteopenia, and the hidden risk to independence(05:10) Reclaiming agency through small, healthy choices(07:45) Lesa's breast cancer recovery and bone-health wake-up call(11:05) Lesa and her mother's personal experience with OsteoStrong(15:35) Bone-density screening, DEXA scans, and questions for your doctor(19:10) How divorce stress can disrupt sleep, food, and exercise(22:30) GLP-1 weight loss, muscle loss, and bone-health conversations(27:10) Five ways to support strength, mobility, and independence(33:20) Why nourishment and community belong in your comeback plan(37:40) Choosing one strong next step after divorceKey Takeaways:Physical strength supports mobility, balance, confidence, and independence during and after gray divorce.Bone loss can be silent, so women should ask a qualified healthcare provider whether bone-density screening is appropriate for them.Small, repeatable actions—walking, resistance training, nourishing meals, rest, and medical appointments—can restore a sense of agency.Women experiencing significant weight loss, including those using GLP-1 medications, should discuss muscle, nutrition, and bone health with their healthcare providers.Community is part of strength; supportive groups, friends, faith communities, and wellness spaces can help women feel seen during major transitions.Guest Bio:This is a solo episode featuring Lesa Koski, a divorce mediator, divorce coach, attorney, educator, author, breast cancer survivor, and host of Doing Divorce Different. Lesa helps women approach divorce with clarity, dignity, and hope while creating a strong, meaningful life on the other side. Her guiding message is: Midlife is not your crisis—it's your comeback.Resource Links:Explore OsteoStrong Minnesota through Lesa's affiliate link: https://osteostrongmn.com/affiliate-referral-koski/Learn about Soberlink for divorce and family law through Lesa's affiliate link: https://www.soberlink.com/divorce/family-law?utm_source=affiliatelink&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=lesa-koski-affiliatelinkLearn more about Lesa, divorce coaching, mediation, and her community: https://lesakoski.comAffiliate disclosure: Lesa may receive compensation if you use an affiliate link. This does not increase your cost. OsteoStrong is not medical treatment, and individual experiences vary. Consult an appropriate healthcare professional before beginning a new health or exercise program.Tags/Keywords:gray divorce, gray divorce after 50, divorce after 50, women and divorce, bone health for women, bone density after menopause, osteopenia, osteoporosis prevention, strength training after 50, menopause bone health, GLP-1 muscle loss, GLP-1 bone health, Ozempic and bone health, Wegovy and muscle loss, Zepbound and strength training, women over 50 health, midlife comeback, divorce recovery, rebuilding after divorce, healthy aging for women, independence after divorce, Doing Divorce Different, Lesa Koski, divorce coach, divorce mediator, OsteoStrong Minnesota

Financial confidence during divorce starts with understanding your budget, gathering financial information, and learning how to negotiate without fear.If you don't understand your marital finances—or you've always relied on your spouse to manage the money—you are not alone. Divorce can suddenly require you to make decisions about budgets, retirement accounts, property division, spousal support, taxes, and your home while you are also experiencing grief and emotional overwhelm.In this episode of Doing Divorce Different, Lesa Koski sits down with Certified Divorce Financial Analyst Rhonda Nordick to explain how women can build financial confidence during divorce one small step at a time.Rhonda shares how her childhood experiences shaped her relationship with money and eventually inspired her to help women advocate for themselves financially. She explains why lasting confidence requires both knowledge and practical experience—and why trying to absorb too much financial information while experiencing divorce trauma can leave women feeling even more overwhelmed.You'll learn the first financial step to take when divorce becomes a possibility, how your current and projected budget affects property division and support, and how to identify gaps in financial information.Rhonda also introduces her BRIDGE Method for organizing the financial divorce process and teaches her powerful ANOT negotiation formula. This four-part approach helps women communicate assertively, make clear requests, and negotiate without becoming aggressive or abandoning their own needs.If fear, avoidance, or people-pleasing has kept you from participating fully in financial conversations, this episode will help you begin developing financial confidence during divorce. You do not need to understand everything today. You need the right information, the right support, and the courage to take your next small step.Listen, save, and share this conversation with someone who wants to make informed financial decisions and build financial confidence during divorce.Timestamps:(00:00) Introduction to financial confidence during divorce(01:45) Rhonda Nordick's personal money story and Bold Beginnings(05:10) How childhood experiences shape our beliefs about money(08:20) Lesa's experience with financial fear and unexpected retirement(10:15) Why confidence requires both financial knowledge and experience(13:05) Managing money decisions while experiencing divorce trauma(15:45) The first financial step: Understanding your spending and budget(18:20) How budgeting affects support, property division, and your home(20:15) Rhonda's BRIDGE Method for organizing divorce finances(23:30) Identifying missing information, income gaps, taxes, and liquidity(25:35) Why women may agree to unfair terms to avoid conflict(27:00) The ANOT negotiation formula explained(29:15) Example: Negotiating a home buyout or refinancing timeline(32:00) How people pleasers can communicate assertively without aggression(34:15) Using negotiation and communication skills beyond divorce(36:05) Final encouragement for building financial confidenceKey Takeaways:Financial confidence grows when financial knowledge is combined with practical experience and small successes.Your first step should be understanding your current spending and estimating your post-divorce expenses.Accurate budgets and financial documents are essential when evaluating support, property division, housing, taxes, and liquidity.Rhonda's ANOT formula—Acknowledge, Naturally, Obviously, and The Ask—helps you negotiate kindly and assertively.You don't need to learn everything at once; focus on the information required for the next decision in front of you.Guest Bio:Rhonda Nordick is a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, educator, speaker, and author featured in the book Bold Beginnings. Drawing on her personal money story and years of teaching experience, Rhonda helps women understand complex financial information, evaluate divorce settlement options, and advocate for themselves without apology. She is featured in this episode because of her practical, trauma-informed approach to building financial confidence and negotiating during divorce.Resource Links:Rhonda Nordick's website and services: https://womensfinancialwellnesscenter.com/Schedule a Divorce Clarity Call with Lesa Koski: [Insert booking link]Learn more about OsteoStrong Minnesota: https://osteostrongmn.com/affiliate-referral-koski/Learn more about Soberlink for divorce and family law: https://www.soberlink.com/divorce/family-law?utm_source=affiliatelink&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=lesa-koski-affiliatelinkDisclosure: Some resource links may be affiliate links. If you use one of these links, Lesa may receive compensation at no additional cost to you.Tags/Keywords:financial confidence during divorce, divorce finances for women, divorce financial planning, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, CDFA, divorce budgeting, divorce negotiation tips, negotiating a divorce settlement, financial preparation for divorce, women and money, divorce financial checklist, property division, spousal maintenance, spousal support, keeping the house after divorce, divorce mediation, divorce settlement negotiation, assertive communication, people pleasing in divorce, financial empowerment for women, BRIDGE Method, ANOT negotiation formula, Rhonda Nordick, Lesa Koski, Doing Divorce Different podcast, divorce podcast for women, midlife divorce, divorce help for women

Why do people deny they've been drinking when the evidence seems undeniable? If you've ever found yourself questioning your own reality after confronting a loved one, you're not alone. In this episode, Amber Hollingsworth explores the psychology behind denial and why the lie often isn't about convincing you—it's about protecting the person from shame, fear, consequences, or the painful reality of what admitting the truth would mean. Together, we'll discuss why gathering more proof rarely changes someone's mind, how families become trapped in the role of investigator, and why you don't need a confession to trust the patterns you're seeing. You'll also learn the difference between policing someone's behavior and creating healthy accountability, along with practical strategies for responding when facts still aren't enough to break through denial. If you're exhausted from smelling someone's breath, checking receipts, searching the house, or debating what you know you witnessed, this conversation will help you step out of the detective role and into a healthier way forward. Resources Mentioned: • Soberlink: Learn how Soberlink can provide an objective accountability structure that reduces suspicion and helps families move away from detective work:https://go.familyrecoveryacademy.online/soberlink-jul26-why-lie-about-drinking-using • Denial Breakthrough Intensive: Learn how denial and defensiveness really work, how to lower resistance without minimizing the problem, and how to stop having the same arguments that never lead to change:https://www.familyrecoveryacademy.online/motivation-unlocked-challenge If you found this episode helpful, be sure to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who may need this conversation today. This episode is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for individualized medical, mental health, or legal advice.

Divorce Crash CourseThinking about divorce or already in the middle of one? Don't make expensive mistakes before you understand your rights.Our Divorce Crash Course gives you practical guidance on attorneys, finances, custody, parenting agreements, and the biggest mistakes people make during divorce.Typically priced at $150, available now for just $50 thanks to our angel underwriters, Our Family Wizard and Soberlink.

Divorce Isn't Fair: How to Stop the Negative Spiral and Move Forward

Divorce Cyberstalking: What to Do If You Think Your Ex Is Watching You OnlineDivorce Crash Course: Don't make expensive divorce mistakes.Our Divorce Crash Course walks you through the biggest legal, financial, emotional, and co-parenting mistakes people make during divorce — and how to avoid them.Typically priced at $150, available now for just $50, thanks to our angel underwriters, Our Family Wizard and Soberlink.Start the course here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseCyberstalking during divorce can make you feel unsafe, paranoid, unsteady, and completely overwhelmed.But here's the thing: sometimes what feels “crazy” is actually a real digital safety issue.In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea Rappaport and Morgan L. Stogsdill are joined by Steven Bradley, a former FBI task force leader, cybersecurity expert, domestic violence specialist, and cyberstalking educator, to talk about what to do if you think your ex is watching, tracking, monitoring, or digitally harassing you during divorce.And yes — this episode is scary.But more importantly, it is actionable.Steven explains that cyberstalking is often easier than people realize because many exes already know your passwords, security question answers, shared devices, family routines, Wi-Fi setup, smart home devices, and personal information. Cyberstalking is not always some dramatic hacker-in-a-hoodie situation. Sometimes it is access to your Amazon Alexa, Ring doorbell, Nest thermostat, pet camera, cloud account, location sharing, shared passwords, or old devices.In other words: your ex may not need to “hack” you if they already have access.Terrifying? Yes. Useful to know? Also yes.In this episode, we cover:How cyberstalking can show up during divorceWhy many people dismiss early warning signs as “coincidences”How smart home devices can be used to monitor or harass someoneWhy shared passwords and security questions are a major riskWhat to do if you think your ex has access to your phone, email, cloud, or devicesWhy you should not delete suspicious messages or evidenceHow to create a timeline of cyberstalking concernsWhen to tell your divorce attorneyWhy co-parenting apps can help protect communicationHow VPNs, multi-factor authentication, and anti-malware tools can helpWhy public Wi-Fi can be riskyWhat parents should know about children's apps, gaming, and DiscordWhy taking action can lower paranoia and help you feel saferFirst signs of cyberstalking during divorceCyberstalking can start small.You may notice:strange text messagesanonymous calls or emailsyour ex showing up where you aresmart home devices acting strangelylights, thermostats, or cameras changing unexpectedlyunfamiliar apps on your phonelogin alertsodd account activitysomeone seeming to know things they should not knowSteven explains that many offenders start with small behaviors and escalate when they feel they can get away with it. That is why it is important not to dismiss everything as coincidence, especially during a high-conflict divorce or custody battle.What to do if you think you are being cyberstalkedSteven's first action step is simple:Do not delete anything.Preserve texts, emails, screenshots, suspicious messages, device alerts, app changes, login warnings, and anything that feels off. Create a timeline. Write down what happened, when it happened, where you were, and what evidence you have.Digital evidence can be time-sensitive, and some data may disappear or overwrite itself. The sooner you document, the better.Tell your divorce attorney earlyIf you believe you may be dealing with cyberstalking, do not wait until it becomes unbearable.Tell your attorney.Morgan explains that divorce lawyers may need outside experts to help connect the dots, preserve evidence, and explain what is happening in a way the court can understand. Cyberstalking can be technical, and many attorneys and judges are not cybersecurity experts.This is not about panicking.It is about protecting yourself, documenting what is happening, and getting the right people involved early.Secure your digital lifeSteven recommends assuming your passwords may be compromised and taking steps to secure your digital life.That may include:changing passwordschanging security questionsturning on multi-factor authenticationreviewing location sharingchecking Life360, Find My, Snap Maps, and similar appsauditing old accountsclosing accounts you no longer useusing anti-malware tools on phones and computersavoiding public Wi-Fi when possibleusing a reputable VPNchecking shared smart home devicesreviewing cloud accessremoving your ex from shared accounts and devicesAnd yes, this includes the things people forget about: Alexa, pet cameras, thermostats, doorbells, old apps, children's devices, shared family accounts, and even old platforms you forgot existed.Friendster, we are looking at you.Why co-parenting apps matterIf communication with your ex feels unsafe, chaotic, manipulative, or digitally risky, this may be a time to talk to your attorney about using a court-monitored co-parenting app.In this episode, Steven and Morgan discuss how a co-parenting app like Our Family Wizard can help keep communication contained, documented, and harder to manipulate.If you are concerned about cyberstalking or digital harassment, talk to your attorney about whether requesting a co-parenting app makes sense in your case.Our Family Wizard:www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck20How Not to Suck at Divorce listeners can save 20% off the Essentials package for the first year through our relationship with Our Family Wizard.The biggest takeawayTechnology is not the problem.Stalking, control, and harassment have existed forever. Technology just makes it easier.The goal is not to become paranoid. The goal is to become aware, document what is happening, and take action early.As Andrea says in this episode, doing nothing is often the part that makes you feel crazier. Taking action — documenting, telling your attorney, changing passwords, securing accounts, using a co-parenting app, and asking for help — can help you feel safer and more grounded.If something feels off, do not ignore it.Document it. Tell your attorney. Secure your devices. Get help early.You've got this. And we've got you.Connect with Steven BradleySteven Bradley is a former FBI task force leader, cybersecurity expert, domestic violence specialist, and cyberstalking educator.sbradley@ourfamilywizard.comJoin The How Not to Suck at Divorce CommunityNeed more support during divorce?Join our free private Facebook community for real conversations, support, and guidance from people who understand what you are going through.How Not to Suck at Divorce Community Listen to How Not to Suck at DivorceWebsite: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/Podcast: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/podcastDivorce Crash Course: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseSEO Keywordsdivorce cyberstalking, cyberstalking during divorce, cyberstalking ex, online stalking during divorce, digital safety during divorce, divorce cybersecurity, ex tracking me during divorce, smart home devices divorce, co-parenting app, Our Family Wizard, divorce safety, high conflict divorce, divorce attorney advice, digital harassment divorce, cyber abuse divorce, online harassment divorce, divorce podcast, How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea Rappaport, Morgan Stogsdill, Steven BradleyMentioned in this episode:Smarter Way to Sell Your Jewelry After my divorce was finalized, I sold my old engagement ring to a jeweler — and honestly, I was stunned by how little I got for it compared to what it originally cost. If I could do it all over again — which is kind of the theme of this podcast — I would have sold it through Worthy. Worthy is a modern, smarter way to sell your jewelry online. Their process is incredibly easy: they cover shipping and insurance, professionally clean and photograph your jewelry, and have it graded by experts...

Divorce: How to Stay Grounded When Everything Feels UnsteadyDivorce Crash Course:Don't make expensive divorce mistakes.Our Divorce Crash Course walks you through the biggest legal, financial, emotional, and co-parenting mistakes people make during divorce — and how to avoid them.Typically priced at $150, available now for just $50, thanks to our angel underwriters, Our Family Wizard and Soberlink.Start the course here:https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseDivorce can make everything feel unstable.Your home, your routines, your finances, your parenting schedule, your future — all of it can feel like it's shifting under your feet. So how do you stay grounded when the divorce process feels anything but steady?In this mini episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea Rappaport shares a simple but powerful grounding reminder from her own backyard: be like the tree.Yes, really.After staring up at the big, mature trees in her yard, Andrea reflects on how trees survive season after season. They lose leaves. They lose branches. They weather storms. But because their roots run deep, they remain standing.And honestly? That is a pretty perfect divorce metaphor.This episode is a calming reminder for anyone going through divorce, considering divorce, or recovering from divorce anxiety. You may feel overwhelmed, reactive, scared, or completely unsteady right now — but that does not mean you are going to be taken down by this process.You may lose some leaves.You may lose a branch.You may look and feel different on the other side.But you will still be here.You will still be strong.You will still be you.Andrea also talks about how spending time outside, planting flowers, caring for something living, and reconnecting with nature can be a surprisingly grounding way to manage divorce stress and anxiety.No, you do not need to become a full horticulture goddess. You do not even need to know if “horticultury” is a word.But you may need a plant.Or a pot.Or a tree to stare at for a minute while you remind yourself that you are more rooted than this moment feels.In this episode, Andrea talks about:How to stay grounded during divorceWhy divorce can make you feel emotionally reactiveHow nature can help regulate stress and anxietyWhy trees are the perfect metaphor for surviving divorceHow to calm your nervous system when life feels unstableWhy divorce is a marathon, not a sprintHow small grounding practices can help you through hard daysWhy you will still be standing after this storm passesThis episode is for you if:You are feeling overwhelmed by divorceYou are struggling with divorce anxietyYou feel emotionally reactive or unsteadyYou need a quick grounding reminderYou are trying to get through a hard divorce dayYou need reassurance that you will survive this processYou want a calming mini episode that does not feel overly woo-wooDivorce is unsettling. It is emotional. It can feel completely unhinged.But you do not have to become unhinged with it.When in doubt, be like the tree.Stay rooted in who you are. Stay grounded in what you know. And remember: you are going to get through this.You've got this.And we've got you.Listen to How Not to Suck at DivorceWebsite:https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/Podcast:https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/podcastDivorce Crash Course:https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseSEO Keywordsdivorce anxiety, divorce stress, how to stay grounded during divorce, grounding during divorce, divorce meditation, divorce mini episode, coping with divorce, emotional regulation during divorce, divorce support, divorce podcast, divorce advice, how to get through divorce, divorce healing, divorce overwhelm, divorce nervous system, stress during divorce, nature and anxiety, How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea Rappaport, Morgan StogsdillMentioned in this episode:Smarter Way to Sell Your Jewelry After my divorce was finalized, I sold my old engagement ring to a jeweler — and honestly, I was stunned by how little I got for it compared to what it originally cost. If I could do it all over again — which is kind of the theme of this podcast — I would have sold it through Worthy. Worthy is a modern, smarter way to sell your jewelry online. Their process is incredibly easy: they cover shipping and insurance, professionally clean and photograph your jewelry, and have it graded by experts to help maximize its value. What makes Worthy different is that they create a competitive auction environment where buyers bid against each other for your piece — meaning they are motivated to help you get the highest price possible. It's completely risk-free and honestly something I wish I had known about sooner. Get started today by heading to worthy.com/divorcepod and lock in an extra $100 when your jewelry sells for more than $1,500.

Divorce issue:When you don't agree with your attorney and Why Going Rogue Can Cost You Thousands

Divorce: How to Talk to a Guardian ad Litem Without Hurting Your Custody Case

Divorce and Children: The Parenting Mistakes That Can Increase Your Child's Anxiety | Featuring Retired Judge Michele Lowrance

Divorce Doesn't Need to Be Solved by EOD

Stay-at-Home Parent and Divorce: How to Leave an Unhappy Marriage When You Don't Have Your Own IncomeThinking about divorce is hard.Thinking about divorce when you're a stay-at-home parent can feel impossible.How do you afford an attorney? What happens if your spouse controls the finances? Will you have to go back to work immediately? What if you've been out of the workforce for years?First, get your hands on the $50 Divorce Crash Course to save money on your divorce process. In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea Rappaport and top family law attorney Morgan Stogsdill tackle one of the most common concerns we hear in our community: how stay-at-home parents can prepare for divorce without letting fear take over.Whether you're a stay-at-home mom, stay-at-home dad, or the primary parent managing the household, this episode will help you understand your options, your value, and the practical steps you can take right now to prepare for your next chapter.In This EpisodeWhy stay-at-home parents often feel trapped in unhappy marriagesThe biggest misconceptions about divorce and stay-at-home parentingHow to afford a divorce attorney when you don't have your own incomeWhy gathering financial documents is one of the most important first stepsWhat attorneys look at when evaluating maintenance and alimonyHow education, training, and work history impact divorce outcomesWhether you should go back to work before filing for divorceWhat to do if your spouse controls the financesHow fear causes stay-at-home parents to underestimate their valueWhy information is the key to making better divorce decisionsWays to start generating income before and during divorceHow OurFamilyWizard can help co-parents stay organizedKey Takeaways✔️ Being a stay-at-home parent does not make you less valuable in a divorce.✔️ The work you do inside the home has real value, even if it doesn't come with a paycheck.✔️ Every divorce case is different, which is why getting legal advice early is critical.✔️ Gathering financial documents now can save you time, money, and stress later.✔️ Fear often makes stay-at-home parents feel powerless—but information creates confidence.✔️ There are often more options available than you realize.✔️ Divorce is a marathon, not a sprint.✔️ You do not have to have everything figured out before taking the next step.If You're Thinking About DivorceOne of the biggest mistakes people make is assuming they need to have a complete plan before speaking with an attorney.You don't.You simply need enough information to understand your options.The sooner you start learning about the divorce process, your finances, and your legal rights, the sooner you'll be able to make decisions from a place of confidence instead of fear.Our Family WizardCheck them out- they are a resource that is here to help you make coparenting easier. You can save 20% on your essentials package here: www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck20Divorce Crash CourseIf you're considering divorce—or you're already in the middle of one—the Divorce Crash Course was created for you.Learn how divorce works, what mistakes to avoid, how to save money on attorney fees, how to protect your finances, and how to make smarter decisions throughout the process.Typically priced at $150, available now for just $50 thanks to our angel underwriters, Our Family Wizard and SoberLink.

Fear Is the Quiet Devil in Divorce (Here's How to Stop Letting It Run the Show)Divorce is scary.Not because every fear is true, but because fear has a way of convincing us that the worst-case scenario is right around the corner.In this mini episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea Rappaport explores why fear becomes one of the most powerful forces during the divorce process—and how you can stop it from controlling your decisions.Get The $50 Divorce Crash Course. Drawing on insights about nervous system regulation, anxiety, and personal experience, Andrea explains why confidence doesn't come from feeling fearless. It comes from collecting evidence that you can do hard things and survive them.If you're feeling overwhelmed by attorney consultations, difficult conversations, legal decisions, or uncertainty about the future, this episode will help you understand how fear works—and how to move forward anyway.In This EpisodeWhy fear becomes so powerful during divorceHow your nervous system learns through evidence, not reassuranceThe connection between confidence and small winsWhy tackling smaller fears helps prepare you for bigger challengesHow knowledge and information reduce anxietyThe role of curiosity in overcoming fearWhy waiting is one of the hardest parts of divorceHow catastrophic thinking keeps you stuckThe surprising benefits of positive daydreamingHow to calm your brain before making important decisionsKey Takeaways✔️ Fear loses power when you gather evidence that you can handle difficult situations.✔️ Confidence is built through action, not certainty.✔️ Small challenges train your nervous system to tolerate bigger ones.✔️ Knowledge reduces fear because uncertainty fuels anxiety.✔️ Divorce decisions are easier when your nervous system is regulated.✔️ Catastrophizing is a habit—not a prediction.✔️ You are allowed to imagine positive outcomes too.✔️ Calm first. Then apply the tools.A Practical ExerciseThink about one thing you're afraid of during your divorce.Now don't tackle that thing first.Instead, ask yourself:What's one smaller thing I can do today that feels slightly uncomfortable but manageable?Maybe it's:Scheduling an attorney consultationPosting in a support groupAsking a question you've been avoidingCompleting paperwork you've been putting offSetting a small boundaryEvery action becomes evidence.And evidence creates confidence.Divorce Doesn't Require FearlessnessYou do not have to become fearless to get through divorce.You only need enough evidence to remind yourself:"I've survived 100% of the difficult things I've faced so far."You can survive this too.Divorce Crash CourseLooking for practical guidance, legal insights, and emotional support during divorce?Our Divorce Crash Course walks you through the biggest mistakes people make during divorce, how to save money on attorney fees, what to expect during the process, and how to make smarter decisions when emotions are running high.Typically priced at $150, available now for $50 thanks to our angel underwriters, Our Family Wizard and SoberLink.

Biggest Mediation Mistakes to Avoid:After decades on the bench, retired Judge Michele Lowrance has seen firsthand what truly destroys families during divorce—and it isn't always what you think.Don't miss out on the $50 Divorce Crash CourseIn this powerful episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea Rappaport and Morgan L. Stogsdill sit down with the Honorable Michele Lowrance, retired domestic relations judge, nationally recognized mediator, author of The Good Karma Divorce, and one of the leading voices in family law and divorce mediation. Together, they explore why mediation is often a better path than litigation, what happens to families when conflict escalates into court battles, and how parents can protect their children while navigating one of life's most painful transitions.Judge Lowrance shares the science behind emotional decision-making, the impact of divorce conflict on children, why the right mediator can make or break your case, and how even high-conflict couples can find a path toward resolution.If you're preparing for mediation, considering litigation, or simply trying to make better decisions during your divorce, this episode is a must-listen.In This Episode, We Discuss:Why mediation is often a better alternative to courtroom litigationWhat happens to children when parents remain locked in conflictThe emotional and neurological impact of divorceHow fear, anger, and grief affect decision-makingWhy good people struggle during mediationThe critical role of the mediatorHow to choose the right mediator for your divorceWhat to expect from the first mediation sessionWhy high-conflict divorces can still benefit from mediationHow to move from emotional reactions to thoughtful decisionsThe concept behind The Good Karma DivorceKey Takeaways✔️ Divorce decisions made from anger often create long-term damage✔️ Mediation allows families to move toward acceptance rather than remaining stuck in conflict✔️ The right mediator should challenge, guide, and creatively problem-solve—not simply carry offers back and forth✔️ Children are deeply affected by ongoing parental conflict✔️ Emotional regulation is one of the most important skills during divorce✔️ The first mediation offers are often difficult—but that doesn't mean mediation isn't working✔️ You won't always feel the same way about your ex that you do today✔️ Keeping your focus on the future can help you make better decisions nowThree Action Steps from Michele Lowrance1. Don't Impose Your AgendaBefore discussing a difficult topic with your co-parent, ask whether it's a good time for the conversation. Respect timing and create rules of engagement that reduce conflict.2. Remember You Won't Always Feel This WayThe emotions you're experiencing right now are real—but they won't last forever. Make decisions based on your future, not just your current pain.3. Keep Your Eye on the TargetFocus on healing, protecting your children, and moving forward. Don't try to navigate divorce alone—get the support you need.About Michele LowranceMichele Lowrance is a retired Cook County Domestic Relations Judge, nationally recognized divorce mediator, author, and family law thought leader. She practiced family law for more than two decades before serving nearly twenty years on the bench and has dedicated her career to helping families resolve conflict with less trauma and more humanity.Her book, The Good Karma Divorce, explores how individuals can emerge from divorce with dignity, healing, and purpose.Divorce Crash CourseThinking about divorce? Currently going through one?Our Divorce Crash Course walks you through the biggest mistakes people make during divorce, how to save money on attorney fees, what to expect during the process, and how to protect yourself legally and financially.Typically priced at $150, available now for $50, thanks to our angel underwriters, Our Family Wizard and Soberlink.

Divorce Mediation: Why Preparation Matters More than you Think Most people approach divorce mediation with one thought:"I have to do this."But what if that's the wrong mindset?Make you check out the $50 Divorce Crash Course. In this mini episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea Rappaport explains why mediation can actually be one of the most valuable opportunities you'll have during your divorce—and how proper preparation can save you time, money, stress, and frustration.Too many people walk into mediation without a clear strategy, without understanding what they want, and without discussing realistic outcomes with their attorney. The result? Missed opportunities, wasted time, and unnecessary conflict.Andrea breaks down exactly how to prepare for mediation, what questions to ask your attorney, and why mediation should be viewed as an opportunity to move closer to your goals—not just another frustrating step in the divorce process.This episode is sponsored by Worthy: the smarter way to sell your jewelry. Get started by heading to Worthy.com/divorcepod and lock in an extra $100 when your item sells for more than $1,500.In This Episode, We Discuss:Why mediation is often misunderstood during divorceThe biggest mistake people make before mediationWhy preparation is critical to successful mediationHow to identify what you actually want from the processCreating a mediation strategy with your attorneyUnderstanding realistic outcomes before you walk into the roomHow to anticipate what your spouse may ask forWhy mediation can provide valuable information—even if no agreement is reachedThe importance of choosing the right mediatorHow mindset impacts divorce outcomesKey Takeaways✔️ Mediation gives you more control than having a judge decide for you✔️ Showing up unprepared can cost you valuable opportunities✔️ You should clearly define your goals before mediation begins✔️ Work with your attorney to develop a negotiation strategy✔️ Ask your attorney for best-case, worst-case, and most likely outcomes✔️ Even unsuccessful mediation can provide valuable information✔️ Mindset matters—view mediation as an opportunity, not a punishment✔️ The more prepared you are, the better positioned you'll be to advocate for yourself and your childrenQuestions to Ask Your Attorney Before MediationIs what I want realistic?What steps will help us get there?What do you think the other side is likely to ask for?What is the best-case scenario?What is the worst-case scenario?What is the most likely outcome?What concessions or "sweeteners" might help move negotiations forward?What should I expect during the mediation process?About the HostsAndrea Rappaport is a comedian, marketer, divorce survivor, and co-host of How Not to Suck at Divorce. Through humor, honesty, and practical advice, Andrea helps people navigate divorce with more confidence and less fear.Morgan L. Stogsdill is Head of Family Law at Beermann LLP and brings legal insight and real-world family law experience to every episode.Divorce Crash CourseThinking about divorce? Currently going through one?Our Divorce Crash Course walks you through the biggest mistakes people make during divorce, how to save money on attorney fees, what to expect during the process, and how to protect yourself legally and financially.Typically priced at $150, available now for $50, thanks to our angel underwriters, Our Family Wizard and Soberlink.

Divorce Anxiety Relief: A 5-Minute Guided Reset for When Everything Feels Like Too MuchIf you're listening to this episode, chances are something happened.Maybe you received a text from your ex.Maybe your attorney sent an email.Maybe you're feeling overwhelmed by co-parenting, custody issues, financial stress, or simply the emotional weight of divorce.Or maybe nothing happened at all.Maybe you're just exhausted.In this special guided meditation episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea Rappaport walks you through a simple but powerful exercise designed to help calm your nervous system, regulate overwhelming emotions, and get your brain back online when divorce anxiety starts to take over.When we're triggered during divorce, our brains often convince us that every problem needs to be solved immediately. This guided reset helps you slow down, reconnect with the present moment, and remember one important truth:Your feelings are real. But they are not emergencies.Whether you're experiencing divorce anxiety, panic, sadness, anger, overwhelm, or emotional exhaustion, this episode is designed to help you pause, breathe, and regain perspective.Save this episode and come back to it anytime you need a reset.In This Episode You Will Learn✅ How to calm your nervous system during divorce stress✅ Why emotional overwhelm can make it difficult to think clearly✅ A simple grounding exercise to reduce anxiety✅ How to stop spiraling thoughts during divorce✅ Why your feelings are real—but not emergencies✅ How to regulate your emotions before responding to a triggering text or email✅ Practical techniques for staying present during difficult moments✅ How to focus on the next hour instead of the next yearTimestamps(00:00) Welcome and emotional reset(01:00) Why your feelings are not emergencies(02:15) Understanding divorce anxiety and spiraling thoughts(03:30) Grounding exercise: 5 things you can see(04:15) Grounding exercise: touch and sound awareness(05:15) Why your divorce is not your identity(06:20) Focusing on the next hour instead of the next year(07:10) Guided affirmations for divorce recovery(08:20) Final breathing exercise and encouragementKey Takeaways

***Link to the Guided Meditation for Divorce Anxiety**How Not to Suck at Divorce YouTube Divorce: How to Handle the Rejection When You Didn't Want the DivorceDivorce is painful no matter what. But when you're not the one who wanted it? It can feel like so much more than a life change. It can feel like rejection.In this heartfelt mini episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea Rappaport and Morgan Stogsdill tackle one of the most painful—and least discussed—parts of divorce: being the spouse who didn't want the marriage to end.But first- Don't miss out on our Divorce Crash Course. It's $50 for a limited time. Get it now to save thousands on your divorce. Why does being left hurt so much? Why do so many people immediately assume they're not enough? And how can that emotional pain quietly derail your divorce case, cost you money, and keep you stuck chasing answers you'll never get?Andrea and Morgan break down what happens to your brain when you're blindsided by divorce, why rejection often feels personal even when it isn't, and how to keep heartbreak from driving legal decisions.Plus, Andrea shares a simple but powerful tool that helped her survive some of her darkest divorce days: the "scheduled meltdown."In This Episode You Will Learn✅ Why divorce rejection feels so personal ✅ What happens to your brain when you're blindsided ✅ Why people often treat divorce like evidence against themselves ✅ How emotional pain can lead to expensive legal mistakes ✅ The difference between grieving a person and grieving a future ✅ Why family court cannot provide emotional closure ✅ How heartbreak can derail settlement negotiations and mediation ✅ The legal risks of making decisions from a place of hurt ✅ Andrea's "scheduled meltdown" technique for emotional regulation ✅ How to get your brain back online when emotions take overTimestamps(00:00) Why divorce feels like rejection when you didn't want it (03:16) The emotional conclusions people make after being left (04:20) How rejection can derail your divorce strategy (05:21) You're not really fighting about the house (06:33) Grieving the future you thought you would have (07:07) Why legal deadlines don't stop for heartbreak (08:17) The expensive trap of chasing closure (10:12) Morgan's cautionary tale about "Chad" and emotional decision-making (12:02) The opposite problem: fighting every battle out of anger (13:30) Separating emotion from legal strategy (14:00) Andrea's "scheduled meltdown" exercise (16:33) How to release emotions without sabotaging your case (18:18) Why this divorce is only one episode in your storyKey Takeaways

People are already using AI during divorce whether attorneys like it or not.They're asking ChatGPT to:analyze texts from their exexplain legal documentshelp write co-parenting responsesbuild parenting schedulesorganize timelinesprepare for mediationand sometimes… emotionally spiral at 2amSo where's the line between using AI strategically and using it in a way that could quietly damage your case?Leave us a review!

Manipulation during divorce can make you feel like you're constantly reacting, constantly defending yourself, and constantly emotionally exhausted. One minute you're calm… and the next, you're spiraling because your ex sent another manipulative text, guilt-inducing email, or chaotic late-night message.So how do you stop the cycle?

Nobody really prepares you for the moment your ex moves on romantically. You may think you're okay… until suddenly there's another person around your children, sitting at school events, helping with bedtime routines, or becoming part of your kids' everyday lives.And that can feel incredibly painful.

Everyone tells you to set boundaries. What nobody talks about is how to know when those boundaries are no longer working and when you've reached the point where nothing is changing no matter how much love, patience, support, or sacrifice you give. In this episode, Amber dives into one of the hardest and most emotionally loaded questions families face when dealing with addiction or destructive behavior: How do you know when it's truly time to walk away? This is not a conversation built on guilt, anger, or fear. It's about understanding the clearest sign that tells you the relationship dynamic has crossed into a place where cutting ties may be the only healthy option left. Amber explains why so many people stay stuck in the waiting phase, hoping for a breakthrough, searching for the “right” answer, or waiting for permission to finally let go. You'll also hear why the things you've done up until now were not weakness or failure. They were survival strategies that made sense based on the information, hope, and emotional reality you were living in at the time. Amber breaks down how people slowly reach the point where boundaries stop creating change and start becoming empty lines that only drain your emotional energy. This episode is for the people carrying the weight of impossible decisions. The ones wondering if they are giving up too soon, staying too long, or losing themselves in the process of trying to save someone else. If you've been searching for clarity, this conversation will help you better understand the difference between healthy hope and painful denial. Additional Resources:

Divorcing someone who feels smarter, wealthier, more connected, or more powerful than you can feel incredibly intimidating. Whether your spouse is an attorney, business owner, CEO, doctor, or high-income professional, many people enter divorce already convinced they are going to lose.But here's the truth: powerful does not mean invincible.

Should You Hire a “Shark” Divorce Attorney? Here's What No One Tells YouWhen you're preparing for a difficult divorce, it's tempting to think you need the most aggressive divorce lawyer money can buy. A “pit bull.” A “shark.” Someone who promises to destroy your ex in court.But is hiring a shark divorce attorney actually the smartest strategy—or one of the most expensive mistakes you can make?

GET THE DIVORCE CRASH COURSE!In this mini episode of How Not To Suck At Divorce, Andrea Rappaport and family law attorney Morgan L. Stogsdill introduce something they've been quietly working on for months: the brand-new Divorce Crash Course (DCC).This project has truly been a labor of love—built to give people going through divorce the information most attorneys simply don't have time to walk you through.And yes… this episode starts with Andrea surviving a spring break indoor water park, wearing airplane-sized noise-canceling headphones, smelling like pond water, and nearly losing her dignity.But once the laughter settles, Andrea and Morgan dive into something that could change the way you navigate your divorce.The Divorce Crash Course was created to help people avoid the most common—and most expensive—mistakes made during divorce.Because the truth is:Most people enter divorce with no roadmap, no strategy, and no idea what they don't know yet.That's where the DCC comes in.What Is the Divorce Crash Course?The Divorce Crash Course is a private podcast paired with a downloadable guidebook designed to walk you step-by-step through the divorce process.Inside the Crash Course, Andrea and Morgan break down the biggest issues people face in divorce and provide practical tools to help you make smarter decisions from the beginning.Unlike typical divorce resources, the DCC combines:a private podcast you can listen to anytimea printable guidebookclickable resources and templatesstep-by-step guidance on navigating divorceThe goal?To give you the same strategic insight Morgan gives her clients in a way that's accessible, clear, and affordable.Why This Divorce Crash Course Is DifferentAndrea and Morgan spent hours building this program because they know how overwhelming divorce can feel.Instead of leaving people to figure things out alone, the Divorce Crash Course provides:A clear roadmap for navigating divorceGuidance on how to communicate with your attorneyTools to help you save money on legal feesTemplates to organize your finances and parenting plansInsider tips on avoiding costly divorce mistakesAnd thanks to the support of OurFamilyWizard and Soberlink, the program is available for a fraction of what similar legal resources cost.What You'll Learn in the Divorce Crash CourseThe Divorce Crash Course addresses some of the most common questions people have during divorce, including:How to Save Money on Divorce Attorney FeesLearn how to communicate with your attorney efficiently so you're spending money where it matters most.What to Do With the Family HomeShould you keep the house or sell it? The course walks through how to think about this decision logically and strategically.How to Organize Your Divorce FinancesThe guidebook includes a custom marital balance sheet template that helps you track assets, debts, and financial information before speaking with your attorney.Parenting Plans and Custody AgreementsDivorce often becomes most emotional when discussing parenting time.The course includes:Common court-approved parenting schedulesKey provisions people forget to include in parenting agreementsTips for negotiating custody arrangements effectivelyThe Most Common Divorce MistakesAndrea and Morgan also break down the most frequent—and expensive—mistakes people make during divorce and how to avoid them.What's Included in the Divorce Crash CourseWhen you purchase the Divorce Crash Course, you'll receive:A private podcast with five guided episodesA downloadable guidebook with clickable resourcesA divorce balance sheet templateCustody schedule examplesTools to help you communicate with your attorney and your exOnce purchased, the private podcast can be added directly to your preferred podcast app so you can listen just like a normal show.Andrea recommends listening to one episode at a time and working through the guidebook alongside it.Frequently Asked Question:Do I Need the New Divorce Crash Course if I Bought the Old One?This is the question Andrea has received most frequently.The answer: Yes, the new Divorce Crash Course is different.While some concepts may overlap with previous guides, this new version contains completely new content, additional tools, and a private podcast format that makes it easier to absorb the information step-by-step.Why Andrea and Morgan Created ThisAndrea went through divorce herself.Morgan has spent nearly two decades practicing family law.Between them, they've seen the same painful patterns over and over again:People making expensive mistakes simply because they didn't know what questions to ask.The Divorce Crash Course was built to change that.It's designed to give people the knowledge and tools they need to move through divorce with more clarity, confidence, and control.A Little Humor Along the WayThis mini episode wouldn't be complete without the signature How Not To Suck At Divorce humor.Between discussing the Divorce Crash Course, Andrea shares:Her hatred of indoor water parksThe questionable hygiene of spring break crowdsWearing pilot-style headphones in public to survive the noiseAnd the moment a stranger at Dunkin' Donuts asked if she was her kids' great grandmotherBecause if you're going to survive divorce…You might as well laugh along the way.Where to Get the Divorce Crash CourseYou can purchase the Divorce Crash Course directly through the link below.Once you check out, you'll receive immediate access to:the private podcastthe downloadable guidebookall templates and resources

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)We break down escalation loops in co‑parenting, why they entrench, and how divorce coaches can interrupt them with practical, evidence‑informed tools. We share the pause protocol, BIF writing, nervous‑system resets, and real‑time awareness checks that end reactive volleys and protect the long game.• definition of escalation loops and why they persist in divorce• reactive communication and negative reciprocity mechanics• amygdala hijack and dysregulation as baseline conditions• pattern entrenchment and confirmation bias reinforcing the story• the pause protocol as an active strategy• choosing structured channels and using BIF for concise replies• loop awareness questions to stop mid‑exchange• regulate first, respond second using body‑based tools• reframing the real goal from winning arguments to stable co‑parenting• the coach's role as steady, strategic partnerIf today's episode was useful to you, please share it with a colleague, leave a review wherever you listen to your podcast, or come find me at the DCA community. And if you would like to learn more about the training we provide to support the professional practice of divorce coaches, please check us out at divorcecoachesacademy.com This episode includes a sponsored segment featuring Soberlink, a court-recognized alcohol monitoring system designed to support families navigating divorce and co-parenting. Soberlink provides objective, real-time accountability that helps reduce conflict, increase trust, and support safer parenting arrangements when alcohol use is a concern. Learn more about Soberlink and their professional resources at soberlink.com. Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.comInstagram: @divorcecoachesacademyLinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academyEmail: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Living with alcoholism can make you question everything—your judgment, your boundaries, even your reality. If you're thinking about divorcing an alcoholic (or you're not ready to leave yet, but you know something has to change), this episode is for you.Morgan Stogsdill and Andrea Rappaport sit down with Jeff Wright, an insurance brokerage founder and mentor who has helped countless people navigate toxic, alcohol-fueled relationships—shaped by his own childhood experience with an abusive alcoholic parent.Together, they unpack why leaving an alcoholic spouse can feel impossible (even when the situation is clearly unsafe), how trauma bonds keep people stuck, and what “self-preservation” really looks like when you're trying to protect your children and your sanity.You'll also learn the practical steps to take before you file: who to talk to (and who not to), how to make a plan quietly, how to build confidence when you feel shattered, and what legal tools can help keep kids safe—including monitoring options like Soberlink, testing, and supervised parenting time.If you've been surviving in chaos, consider this your permission slip to stop normalizing it—and start building a path out.What You'll Learn in This EpisodeWhy living with an alcoholic partner can distort your reality and decision-makingThe real reasons people stay (hint: it's often not money)What a trauma bond is and why “they hurt you, then hug you” feels like loveHow alcoholism impacts the drinker's brain—and why denial can be extremeHow to assess your home environment: stress signals, kids' behavior, and “waiting for them to come home” tensionWhat self-preservation actually means: privacy, planning, and choosing the right supportWhy your divorce attorney is not your therapist—and why you need bothConcrete action steps: quiet planning, go-bag/documents, separate accounts, and rebuilding confidenceLegal tools that can support safety for kids (monitoring/testing options and structured parenting arrangements)Episode Highlights / Timestamps00:00 The reality: alcoholism can make you question your judgment and reality00:57 Sponsor: OurFamilyWizard + discount code02:11 Who this episode is for (especially if you haven't left yet)03:07 Meet Jeff Wright and why this is his mission06:07 Jeff's childhood with an abusive alcoholic father (and lasting impact)08:17 Morgan explains why this becomes “normal” when you're living it10:29 Why people don't leave: kids, fear,...

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)We explore why love and conflict can coexist during divorce and how skill, not intention, changes outcomes. We show how awareness, regulation, and alignment transform automatic reactions into choices that protect kids and shape a healthier family system.• acknowledging care while choosing to leave• love as orientation, not conflict strategy• conditioned patterns and nervous system activation• awareness of triggers and pre‑reaction cues• regulation tools that create space and choice• alignment of behavior with future goals• shifting family dynamics by changing one response• redefining love as practiced stability and restraintIf you are interested in learning more about the professional practice of divorce coaching as a form of dispute resolution, please do not hesitate to check us out at Divorce CoachesAcademy.com This episode includes a sponsored segment featuring Soberlink, a court-recognized alcohol monitoring system designed to support families navigating divorce and co-parenting. Soberlink provides objective, real-time accountability that helps reduce conflict, increase trust, and support safer parenting arrangements when alcohol use is a concern. Learn more about Soberlink and their professional resources at soberlink.com. Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.comInstagram: @divorcecoachesacademyLinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academyEmail: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Text Me!White-knuckling through detox and hoping for the best isn't a strategy, and for many people, it's the reason they keep ending up back in crisis.In this episode of the Sober Vibes Podcast, I chat with addiction recovery specialist and nurse practitioner Trent Carter to unpack a smarter, more sustainable approach to recovery, one that treats addiction like the chronic condition it is and builds a real bridge from crisis to long-term stability.Trent explains why ER detox loops and one-size-fits-all treatment scripts leave people stranded, and how targeted medications, clear education, accountable follow-up, and real-life structure can make sobriety feel achievable instead of fragile.Together, we talk through the Three Pillars of Change — awareness, education, and action and show how these pillars turn lofty recovery goals into daily, realistic wins. Trent breaks down when medications like naltrexone or buprenorphine can be helpful, why “meds as a crutch” is the wrong frame, and how to think about tapering versus long-term maintenance with honesty and clarity.This episode is practical, science-backed, and deeply hopeful, reminding listeners that recovery becomes sustainable when the plan actually matches real life.In this episode, you'll learn:Why ER detox loops and poor discharge planning fail peopleGaps in addiction care quality and educationWhy medication-assisted treatment is a bridge, not a crutchHow outpatient and IOP programs support real-life recoveryWhy inpatient treatment must be followed by strong aftercareResources Mentioned:Subscribe to my YouTube Channel1:1 CoachingMy Book Connect with Trent:WebsiteBookPODCAST SPONSOR:This episode is sponsored by Soberlink, a trusted accountability tool for anyone navigating early recovery. Whether you're rebuilding trust with loved ones or want more structure in your sobriety, Soberlink offers a discreet and empowering way to stay on track.Sober Vibes listeners, sign up HERE and claim our $100 Enrollment Bonus.This episode is sponsored by ExactNature, a trusted holistic tool for anyone navigating recovery and sobriety. Use code SV25 at checkout to save on your order. Click here to shop and save. Grab my Masterclass for Free:Gain access to my Masterclass when you submit a review on iTunes. Email me sobervibes@gmail.com with a screenshot of the review, and I will send you the code to unlock mThank you for listening! Help the show by Rating, Reviewing, and/or Subscribing to the Sober Vibes Podcast. Connect w/ Courtney:InstagramJoin the Sobriety Circle Apply for 1:1 CoachingOrder the Sober Vibes Book

Text Me!What if the bravest thing you do is stop negotiating with alcohol?In this episode of the Sober Vibes Podcast, Courtney Andersen sits down with women's mentor and certified EFT tapping practitioner Sophia Grinjella to explore what really happens after you decide to quit drinking and how to actually stay alcohol-free without white-knuckling.Sophia shares how quitting alcohol at 29 reshaped her identity, friendships, travel experiences, and daily energy. What started as years of moderation and “trying to control it” eventually led to a full pivot into presence, health, and self-trust. A key part of that transformation? EFT tapping—a powerful blend of cognitive and somatic work that helps regulate the nervous system, calm cravings, and replace liquid courage with embodied confidence.Together, Courtney and Sophia unpack the messy middle between deciding to quit and truly living free. They talk about grief for the old self, navigating FOMO, setting boundaries with friends, and learning how to show up at dinners, dates, airports, and social events without a glass in your hand.In this episode, you'll learn:What EFT tapping is and how it works for cravings and anxietyHow daily tapping routines can reduce urges and ease FOMOWhy the moderation cycle stalls real changeRegulating the nervous system to build absolute, lasting confidencePractical tools for airports, dinners, and social eventsHow to replace “liquid courage” with self-trustThis episode is for anyone ready to stop bargaining with alcohol and start building a life rooted in calm, clarity, and self-trust.Resources Mentioned:Subscribe to my YouTube Channel1:1 CoachingMy Book Connect with Sophia:WebsitePODCAST SPONSOR:This episode is sponsored by Soberlink, a trusted accountability tool for anyone navigating early recovery. Whether you're rebuilding trust with loved ones or want more structure in your sobriety, Soberlink offers a discreet and empowering way to stay on track.Sober Vibes listeners, sign up HERE and claim our $100 Enrollment Bonus.This episode is sponsored by ExactNature, a trusted holistic tool for anyone navigating recovery and sobriety. Use code SV25 at checkout to save on your order. Click here to shop and save. Grab my Masterclass for Free:Gain access to my Masterclass when you submit a review on iTunes. Email me sobervibes@gmail.com with a screenshot of the review, and I will send you the code to unlock my MaThank you for listening! Help the show by Rating, Reviewing, and/or Subscribing to the Sober Vibes Podcast. Connect w/ Courtney:InstagramJoin the Sobriety Circle Apply for 1:1 CoachingOrder the Sober Vibes Book

Text Me!If you've ever told yourself… “I just need to try harder.” “I should be able to control this.” “Tomorrow will be different.”…but nothing actually changes, this episode is for you.Today, I break down the REAL reason quitting feels impossible when you're relying on willpower alone and why this doesn't mean you're weak. It means you're using the wrong tool for the job.If you're trying to figure out how to stop drinking every night, tired of white-knuckling your way through evenings, or wondering why logic and good intentions never seem to stick, you'll finally understand what's going on beneath the surface.This episode is especially supportive for women who feel frustrated, ashamed, discouraged, or confused about why they can be successful in every other area of life… except this one.In this episode, you'll learn:Why willpower is a temporary emotion, not a strategyHow alcohol hijacks the brain's reward systemWhy cutting back feels impossible when you're stressedThe deeper emotional triggers behind drinkingWhat actually works if you want long-term changeHow to build real coping tools so you know how to relax without alcoholWhy sobriety coaching helps you succeed without burnout or perfectionismThe strategy that replaces shame and willpower with clarity and confidenceIf you're stuck in the “I will do better tomorrow” loop, this episode will help you understand why and how to break free, finally.Resources Mentioned:Subscribe to my YouTube Channel1:1 CoachingMy Book PODCAST SPONSOR:This episode is sponsored by Soberlink, a trusted accountability tool for anyone navigating early recovery. Whether you're rebuilding trust with loved ones or want more structure in your sobriety, Soberlink offers a discreet and empowering way to stay on track.Sober Vibes listeners, sign up HERE and claim our $100 Enrollment Bonus.This episode is sponsored by ExactNature, a trusted holistic tool for anyone navigating recovery and sobriety. Use code SV25 at checkout to save on your order. Click here to shop and save. Grab my Masterclass for Free:Gain access to my Masterclass when you submit a review on iTunes. Email me sobervibes@gmail.com with a screenshot of the review, and I will send you the code to unlock my Masterclass for free!Thank you for tuning in!Thank you for listening! Help the show by Rating, Reviewing, and/or Subscribing to the Sober Vibes Podcast. Connect w/ Courtney:InstagramJoin the Sobriety Circle Apply for 1:1 CoachingOrder the Sober Vibes Book

Text Me!If you keep telling yourself you're going to “cut back,” drink less, or stop pouring that next glass… yet somehow end up in the same cycle, this episode is for you.In today's conversation, I break down the real reason it's so hard to change your drinking, the hidden excuses and internal stories that subtly keep you stuck. Whether you're trying to figure out how to stop drinking wine, struggling with alcohol and stress, or wondering why the desire to change isn't matching your follow-through, this episode brings clarity and compassion to the process.These excuses aren't about weakness. They're protective patterns your brain uses to avoid discomfort, and once you understand them, everything begins to shift.In this episode, you'll learn:The six most common excuses keeping women stuck in the drink-less cycle Why rationalizing your drinking feels so convincing in the moment How emotional bargaining (like “I deserve it”) sneaks in Why waiting for life to “calm down” doesn't workHow these patterns block real progress and peaceWhy sobriety coaching helps you break the pattern and move forwardWhat to do when you're ready to make a change but feel terrified to startTools for early mindset shifts and how to relax without alcoholIf you're sober curious, frustrated with yourself, or tired of making promises you can't seem to keep, this episode will help you understand why and what to do next.Resources Mentioned: Subscribe to my YouTube ChannelPODCAST SPONSOR:This episode is sponsored by Soberlink, a trusted accountability tool for anyone navigating early recovery. Whether you're rebuilding trust with loved ones or want more structure in your sobriety, Soberlink offers a discreet and empowering way to stay on track.Sober Vibes listeners, sign up HERE and claim our $100 Enrollment Bonus.This episode is sponsored by ExactNature, a trusted holistic tool for anyone navigating recovery and sobriety. Use code SV25 at checkout to save on your order. Click here to shop and save. Grab my Masterclass for Free:Gain access to my Masterclass when you submit a review on iTunes. Email me sobervibes@gmail.com with a screenshot of the review, and I will send you the code to unlock my Masterclass for free!Thank you for tuning in!Thank you for listening! Help the show by Rating, Reviewing, and/or Subscribing to the Sober Vibes Podcast. Connect w/ Courtney:InstagramJoin the Sobriety Circle Apply for 1:1 CoachingOrder the Sober Vibes Book

Text Me!When you stop drinking, it doesn't just change your habits; it changes your relationships. And that shift can feel uncomfortable, exciting, confusing, and empowering all at once.In this episode of the Sober Vibes Podcast, I break down how quitting alcohol impacts friendships, dating, marriage, and family dynamics, and how to navigate those changes with confidence and clarity. From handling awkward conversations to setting boundaries, this episode is your guide to building healthier, more aligned relationships in your alcohol-free life.Whether you're sober curious, navigating grey area drinking, or trying to learn how to relax without alcohol, this episode offers both compassion and strategy for anyone in early sobriety or shaky sobriety.In this episode, you'll learn: Why relationships shift when you stop drinking What to say when people question your choices How to handle dating and intimacy without alcohol How to build new, supportive friendships in sobriety Why long-term partners may react the way they do How to create a connection based on honesty not drinking How community support makes it easier to stop drinking and stay consistent

Text Me!If parties, weddings, and work events feel stressful now that you're not drinking, you're not alone. Social pressure is one of the biggest obstacles people face when trying to quit drinking, and today's episode gives you real support, real scripts, and real confidence to walk into any event alcohol-free.In this episode of the Sober Vibes Podcast, I delve into how to navigate the awkward moments, uncomfortable questions, and internal pressure that arise in social settings when everyone around you is drinking. Whether you're early in sobriety or navigating coping without alcohol, this episode gives you the tools you need to stay grounded and empowered.What You'll learn: How to handle comments like “You're not drinking?” with confidence The psychology of peer pressure (and why their reaction isn't about youWhat to say when someone pushes a drink on you How to create an exit plan that protects your peaceWhy having support to quit drinking makes social situations easierStrategies from an alcohol recovery coach to help you stay strong How to redefine fun without letting alcohol steal the momentIf social events have been your biggest trigger or the place where you feel the most vulnerable, this episode will help you finally feel prepared and confident walking into any environment.

Today we have Robyn. She is 49 years old from Columbia, SC and took her last drink on June 30th, 2020.   This episode brought to you by:   Better Help – 10% off of your first month #sponsored Soberlink – sign up and claim your $100 enrollment bonus   We are planting the seed early and inviting you to join us for our 7th annual Restore course coming January 2026. Registration opens Monday, December 1st.   [02:39] Thoughts from Paul:   We have all heard the word recovery, but what does that mean? And does it ever end? Paul recently came across a line he likes that says, "If substance use or drinking no longer interferes with your ability to live a productive and loving life, then recovery has been achieved."   Using the logic of this line, Paul shares with us several ways that we can see if recovery has been achieved. Maybe you'll have to (or get to) attend meetings or chats for the rest of your life or maybe your recovery has already been achieved. So now what?   A simple answer is don't go back to drinking but in addition to that, sticking with the pack or community that helped you achieve recovery in the first place is a good start.   [07:54] Paul introduces Robyn:   Robyn is 49 and she lives in Columbia, SC with her husband, stepdaughter and two pit bulls. She is an office manager for a transportation company and enjoys reading, playing games and spending time with her family. Robyn was previously interviewed on episode 306.   Robyn grew up very shy and quiet and never really felt she fit in. The desire to rebel was building up and when she moved from Maine to South Carolina towards the end of high school, she viewed it as an opportunity to try new things including alcohol and other drugs.   After graduating high school, Robyn met someone and ended up getting married at the age of 18. She didn't realize the issues he had, and it was her first exposure to an abusive relationship with an addict.   Fortunately, she was able to escape that relationship but jumped right into another one that she considers her first real relationship. Their drinking looked normal for their age but over time, it started to create cracks in their relationship, and they split up soon after moving away from friends and family.   Feeling abandoned again and not knowing anyone, Robyn started going out and meeting people at bars alone after work. The relationships she had were with others who partied like she did, which helped her ignore the addictions that were creeping in. Her codependent nature found her feeling stuck in another abusive relationship, but over time she was able to start pulling away and made attempts to regulate her drinking.   After their break-up, Robyn began a close friendship with a friend from work. With his influence and help, she began to explore her traumas and started to organically cut back on her drinking as he rarely drank. They eventually began a relationship, and Robyn happily assumed the role of stepmother to his two children. She still drank, but it looked very different, and "mommy wine culture" made it seem ok.   After the sudden death of Robyn's mother, she took on the role of caretaker to her stepfather. This meant helping him with his grief and moving him closer to her. The drinking was beginning to become unmanageable. In September 2017, she discovered the upside of quitting drinking through a Google search that led her to Holly Whittaker and Annie Grace.   Upon discovering that going alcohol free could be a good thing, Robyn began to read a lot of quit lit and found podcasts. She told her husband about her struggles and felt a weight lift immediately. A few months later she joined Café RE and being part of a community was life changing. There were several stops and starts and she almost gave up quitting just before the announcement of the first Ditching the Booze course. That was the fuel Robyn needed to try again.   Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down, you gotta take the stairs back up. We can do this.   Café RE RE on Instagram Sobriety Tracker iTunes