How Not To Suck At Divorce

Going through divorce? Get the Divorce Crash Course before you make an expensive mistake.Our Divorce Crash Course includes a private podcast and printable workbook with parenting agreement guidance, questions to ask your attorney, and communication templates to help you get organized. Typically priced at $150, available now for $50, thanks to our angel underwriters OurFamilyWizard and Soberlink.Get the Divorce Crash CourseYour co-parent did something that pissed you off. Does your attorney need to hear about it?The kids come home in clothes that stopped fitting three years ago. Your ex introduces a new partner without following the parenting agreement. Someone buys concert tickets on your parenting night—and tells your child before asking you. Meanwhile, you're finding out about school issues after everybody else.When you're navigating a high-conflict divorce or custody dispute, it can be hard to tell the difference between an irritating interaction and a concern that deserves professional attention. Ignoring everything doesn't feel right. Paying your attorney to address every problem gets expensive. So how do you decide?In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea Rappaport welcomes back Atlanta family law attorney, former judge, and guardian ad litem Dan Bloom to work through real co-parenting scenarios. Dan keeps returning to one question: How is this affecting your child?Andrea and Dan explore why context matters, how to recognize patterns, and how to raise concerns with your attorney or guardian ad litem without turning every email into a custody battle. They also discuss why asking children to keep secrets between households changes the conversation—and how to respond when your child shares something uncomfortable.In this episode, you'll learn:How to assess co-parenting conflict by its effect on your child.When clothing disputes become more than an argument about missing outfits.What to consider when an ex introduces a new partner outside the parenting agreement.How to support a child who has been told to keep a secret from you.How to handle activities scheduled during your parenting time.Why repeated exclusion from teacher emails and school information deserves attention.How to document concerns without spending every day reliving them.Why Dan generally recommends checking with your attorney before raising an issue with a GAL.How to ask for help in a way that focuses on your child and a workable solution.What matters to your child may be different from what bothers you.A missing shirt may not affect your child's day. A missing comfort item that helps them sleep might. An inaccurate comment to a friend may be frustrating; misleading a teacher about the other parent's involvement can have different consequences. Dan explains why the details matter more than assigning every incident the same level of urgency.The conversation also tackles the emotional trap of trying to get your ex to admit you're right. You may never receive that apology or satisfying final email. The more useful goal is protecting your child from the conflict, recognizing concerns that need attention, and choosing a response that serves your family.Connect with Dan BloomDan consults on high-conflict custody matters in Georgia and throughout the country. If you need help thinking through difficult co-parenting situations or preparing to communicate with a GAL, reach out to ask whether his consulting services are a fit.Learn more about Dan BloomContact Dan's firmKeep co-parenting communication in one place with OurFamilyWizard.Andrea discusses how OurFamilyWizard can help keep messages organized and available for later review. The episode also covers using its tone tools to reconsider a message before frustration takes over the conversation.Explore OurFamilyWizardBefore you send the angry message, give yourself a few minutes.Our Guided Divorce Meditations include 11 short meditations created for difficult divorce moments, including worry about your kids, parenting exchanges, loneliness, and frustration with the process. Listen privately through your favorite podcast app when you need support before deciding what to do next.Get the Guided Divorce MeditationsSubscribe to How Not to Suck at Divorce, share this episode with someone navigating a difficult co-parenting relationship, and leave us a review.You've got this. And we've got you.

Going through divorce? Start with the Divorce Crash Course.Before you agree to a parenting schedule, make sure you understand what you're agreeing to. Our Divorce Crash Course includes a private podcast and printable workbook with parenting agreement guidance, questions to ask your attorney, and email templates to help you communicate more efficiently. Typically priced at $150, available now for $50, thanks to our angel underwriters OurFamilyWizard and Soberlink.Get the Divorce Crash Course“We'll alternate holidays.” Great. What does that actually mean?Who gets Halloween? Does Thanksgiving parenting time include enough days to travel to see family? What happens when your child's birthday falls on your ex's day—and the two-hour visit you negotiated makes everyone miserable?In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea Rappaport and family law attorney Morgan Stogsdill tackle holiday parenting schedules, co-parenting conflict, and the emotional reality of spending holidays without your kids. Both hosts arrive tired and cranky, which means the advice is practical, the opinions are strong, and nobody is pretending this is easy.Andrea shares the holiday travel detail she missed in her own parenting agreement, along with what she learned from her first Thanksgiving away from her children. Morgan explains why family traditions, realistic exchange times, and your children's changing needs deserve attention before you finalize a holiday schedule. They also discuss the potential benefits—and complications—of including an option to review parenting arrangements through mediation.The conversation gets into the details that can make holidays harder than they need to be: splitting trick-or-treating between households, calling in the middle of a family celebration, and making children feel responsible for a parent's loneliness. You're allowed to miss your kids. The challenge is finding support for those feelings while giving your children room to enjoy their time with their other parent.In this episode, we discuss:What to consider before agreeing to alternate holidays after divorce.Why out-of-state family visits may require more than one day of parenting time.How to identify the traditions that matter most to each household.Why a parenting schedule for toddlers may need a fresh look as children grow.The benefits and risks of future mediation or schedule-review provisions.Halloween, birthdays, and the pressure of switching households during a celebration.How to plan a brief, reassuring holiday check-in without grilling your kids.Creating something to look forward to together—even when you don't have the actual holiday.You don't need an expensive trip or elaborate celebration to make meaningful memories. A movie night, favorite snacks, or your own Thanksgiving on Saturday can give you and your kids something to anticipate. The calendar date doesn't have to carry the entire relationship.Missing your kids? Start with our Guided Divorce Meditations.The hours before an exchange—or the quiet after your kids leave—can be some of the hardest. Our 11 short guided divorce meditations were created for moments like missing your children, feeling lonely, worrying about the future, and struggling to sleep. Listen privately through your favorite podcast app when you need a little support getting through the next few minutes.Get the Guided Divorce MeditationsKeep holiday planning organized with OurFamilyWizard.When holiday plans involve travel requests, schedule changes, and messages with your co-parent, having a shared place to communicate can help you keep track of the details. Learn more about OurFamilyWizard, a supporter of How Not to Suck at Divorce and an angel underwriter of our Divorce Crash Course. And remember, we are the only podcast that can save you 20% on your first year. Explore OurFamilyWizardSubscribe to How Not to Suck at Divorce, share this episode with someone navigating their first holiday season after separation, and leave us a review. You've got this. And we've got you.Mentioned in this episode:Smarter Way to Sell Your Jewelry After my divorce was finalized, I sold my old engagement ring to a jeweler — and honestly, I was stunned by how little I got for it compared to what it originally cost. If I could do it all over again — which is kind of the theme of this podcast — I would have sold it through Worthy. Worthy is a modern, smarter way to sell your jewelry online. Their process is incredibly easy: they cover shipping and insurance, professionally clean and photograph your jewelry, and have it graded by experts to help maximize its value. What makes Worthy different is that they create a competitive auction environment where buyers bid against each other for your piece — meaning they are motivated to help you get the highest price possible. It's completely risk-free and honestly something I wish I had known about sooner. Get started today by heading to worthy.com/divorcepod and lock in an extra $100 when your jewelry sells for more than $1,500.

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Divorce comes with a lot of advice. Andrea has some opinions about that advice.Get the Divorce Crash CourseGet the Guided Divorce MeditationsIn this mini episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea shares 10 of her most unpopular divorce opinions—the ones that might make your lawyer raise an eyebrow, your mother clutch her pearls, or your group chat light up.Some of them are practical: you and your spouse should have separate attorneys, even if the divorce is amicable. Some are emotional: losing friends during divorce can be completely normal, and therapy should be treated as an essential part of the process, not an afterthought. And some might be a little more controversial—like the idea that dating during divorce is not automatically a terrible decision, as long as you talk to your attorney first and understand how complicated it can become.Andrea also tackles one of the hardest parts of co-parenting during divorce: what to do when your ex is behaving badly in front of the kids. Pretending unhealthy behavior is normal can be confusing for children, but criticizing the other parent can pull them directly into the conflict. The goal is to address the behavior without making your child responsible for the adult problem.And then there's the survival stuff nobody talks about enough.Maybe you need to talk to your doctor about medication if your anxiety, sleep, appetite, or ability to function are falling apart. Maybe you desperately need a hobby that has absolutely nothing to do with your divorce. Maybe buying the sweater, getting your nails done, ordering takeout, or replacing your sheets is exactly the small reminder you need that your entire life has not been put on hold.And yes, Andrea is also making the case for watching more television—especially at night, when divorce anxiety has a way of turning you into a private investigator rereading texts, emails, locations, and Venmo transactions. Sometimes the healthiest thing you can do is turn off your divorce brain and binge something deeply unserious instead.Finally, Andrea takes on the marital home. Keeping the house after divorce can feel deeply important, especially when children are involved. But if keeping it leaves you financially stretched, unable to rebuild savings, or constantly afraid of the next major expense, it may not actually be protecting you or your kids. A house is not the only place where you can create safety, stability, and family.This episode is not a list of rules. It's permission to question some of the divorce advice we hear over and over again—and to remember that your life does not have to stop while your divorce is happening.Because divorce is part of your life. It does not get to become your whole life.In this episode:Why Andrea believes divorcing spouses should have separate attorneysWhy losing—and making—friends during divorce can be completely normalWhy therapy may be one of the most important forms of divorce supportHow to address unhealthy behavior from an ex without putting kids in the middleThe pros, cons, and complications of dating during divorceWhy it may be worth talking to your doctor about mental-health supportWhy hobbies, television, and small treats can actually help you copeWhy keeping the marital home is not always the best financial or emotional decisionAndrea's 10 Unpopular Divorce Opinions1.You and your spouse should not share an attorney.Even in an amicable divorce, each person should have independent legal advice and someone protecting their individual interests.2.You may lose friends during divorce — and make new ones.Divorce changes relationships. Some friendships fade, others deepen, and some may exist only for this particular season of your life.3.You need a therapist during divorce.Divorce can trigger anxiety, grief, anger, childhood trauma, and other issues that go far beyond the legal process.4.If your ex is behaving badly, you can address that behavior with your kids.The key is talking about unhealthy behavior without criticizing the other parent or pulling your child into the conflict.5.Dating during divorce is not automatically a bad idea.Talk to your attorney first, understand the potential complications, and know that dating can be either a welcome distraction or a giant additional headache.6.You may need medication during divorce.If anxiety, depression, sleep problems, or stress are interfering with your ability to function, talk to your doctor and therapist rather than ignoring your mental health.7.You need a hobby during divorce.Having something in your life that has nothing to do with your case can be incredibly helpful for your mental health.8.You should still treat yourself.Within reason, your entire life does not need to stop because you are getting divorced.9.Watching more TV during divorce may actually help.Especially at night, distraction can keep you from spiraling, rereading texts, checking accounts, or obsessing over your case.10.Keeping the marital home is not always the right decision.If keeping the house leaves you financially strained, walking away from it may ultimately create more stability for you and your children.email us hello@hownottosuckatdivorce.com

Divorce Crash Course If you want more help understanding the divorce process, avoiding expensive mistakes, and knowing what to expect before you make major decisions, check out the Divorce Crash Course.Guided Divorce Meditations For the moments when you're about to send the email, respond to your ex, or completely lose your shit, our guided meditations are designed to help you calm your nervous system before you make the situation more expensive.Your divorce lawyer may be expensive — but sometimes the thing making your divorce even more expensive is… you.In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea and Morgan break down the habits that can make a divorce case harder, longer, and more expensive, even when you think you're being helpful. From trying to run your own legal strategy to rewriting documents with AI, over-emailing your attorney, negotiating with your ex without being prepared, and withholding important information, this episode is basically a loving intervention from your divorce lawyer. Morgan explains why clients sometimes accidentally create more legal work by trying to save money. One major example? Redlining legal documents or using AI to rewrite agreements without understanding whether those changes would actually work in court. That often means your attorney has to undo the work, start over, and spend even more billable time fixing it. Andrea and Morgan also talk about the emotional reason people do this in the first place: divorce is terrifying. When your children, finances, home, and future are involved, it can feel impossible to hand over control to another person. But that fear can push you into micromanaging your lawyer, chasing answers that don't exist yet, or relying too heavily on AI for legal strategy. You'll also learn a smarter way to communicate with your attorney, including when to pick up the phone instead of sending a novel-length email, how to comment on a legal document without trying to rewrite it yourself, and the exact kind of question to ask when you're waiting on opposing counsel and starting to panic. The episode also tackles one of the biggest traps in high-conflict divorce: negotiating directly with your ex when there is a history of control, pressure, or manipulation. Morgan explains when direct negotiation can actually save money — and when it can backfire badly if you go into the conversation without knowing your legal boundaries. And finally: do not hide things from your lawyer.Whether it's a fight, missing money, an agreement you made directly with your ex, or something you're embarrassed to admit, your attorney cannot protect you from information they do not have. Morgan explains why withholding key facts can seriously damage your case — and in some situations can even lead an attorney to withdraw from representing you. What You'll LearnWhy trying to be your own divorce lawyer can cost you more moneyWhen AI can help during divorce — and when it absolutely should notWhy you should not use ChatGPT or Claude as your legal strategistHow to communicate with your divorce attorney without racking up unnecessary feesWhen to call your lawyer instead of sending a long emailHow to review legal documents without rewriting them yourselfWhat to do when opposing counsel is not respondingHow to negotiate with your ex without getting pressured into a bad dealWhy you need to tell your divorce lawyer the whole truthHow fear and anxiety can quietly make your divorce more expensiveA Better Way to Follow Up With Your Divorce LawyerIf you're waiting for a response from opposing counsel, Andrea and Morgan suggest asking something like:“It's been X amount of time since we heard from opposing counsel. What is a realistic timeframe for a response, and if we don't hear back by then, what would our next step be?” That gives you information, a timeline, and a plan — without sending your lawyer four emails in one week asking whether they've heard anything yet. Divorce, AI, and Your Legal StrategyAI can be incredibly useful for organizing information, brainstorming questions, calming yourself down, or helping you prepare for a conversation.But AI does not know your judge.It does not know your local court.It does not understand the history of your case the way your attorney does.And it may confidently give you an answer that sounds brilliant and is completely wrong for your situation. Use the robot. Just don't let the robot run your divorce.ResourcesDivorce Crash Course If you want more help understanding the divorce process, avoiding expensive mistakes, and knowing what to expect before you make major decisions, check out the Divorce Crash Course.Guided Divorce Meditations For the moments when you're about to send the email, respond to your ex, or completely lose your shit, our guided meditations are designed to help you calm your nervous system before you make the situation more expensive.Our Family WizardOur Family Wizard is the most respected coparenting app and we seriously want you to consider it. and We are the only podcast that can save you 20% off your first year. Private Community Join our free private community for support from people who actually understand what this process feels like.Mentioned in this episode:Our Family WizardHow Not to Suck at Divorce is proud to be the only podcast that can offer you 20% off your first year of the essentials package. Visit Our Family Wizard to ask your attorney is OFW is right for your family. Our Family Wizard

Going through a high-conflict divorce can make it feel impossible to imagine a life where your phone isn't constantly lighting up, your nervous system isn't on high alert, and every day doesn't bring another crisis. But this episode is proof that there can be an after.Get the Guided Divorce Meditations to help you through these moments when you feel like you are going to lose your sh$t. In this mini episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea shares the real-life story of a man who spent nine years navigating a brutal high-conflict divorce involving emotional abuse, manipulation, gaslighting, court battles, documentation, and children caught in the middle. Today, his kids are thriving, he has rebuilt his life, and he is in a healthy new marriage. More importantly, he shared what actually helped him survive.Andrea breaks down the lessons from his story, including why you have to stop trying to make irrational behavior make sense, how to document your divorce without allowing it to consume your life, and why preparing for conflict is often more useful than desperately trying to prevent it. They're also powerful reminders for parents. Your children are watching how you move through difficult situations—not whether you “win” every argument. The way you regulate yourself, build a support system, set boundaries, and respond to chaos teaches them how to survive hard things, too. And perhaps the biggest lesson: do not wait until your divorce is over to start rebuilding your life.Create new routines. Make new traditions with your kids. Reconnect with people you love. Find something that belongs only to you. Divorce may be a marathon—but even marathons end. For people dealing with an extremely difficult former spouse, traditional co-parenting may not always be realistic. Andrea also discusses parallel parenting, business-like communication, boundaries, and reducing opportunities for conflict when cooperative co-parenting simply isn't possible. If you are in the stage of divorce where you genuinely cannot picture your life feeling normal again, this episode is for you.You don't have to believe everything will suddenly become perfect.You just have to believe that this part will not last forever.In This Episode, You'll LearnHow to stop wasting energy trying to understand a high-conflict exWhy you should document everything without living inside the documentationHow to prepare for a high-conflict “avalanche”What your kids learn from watching you navigate divorceWhy therapy and personal growth can matter more than a courtroom victoryHow to start rebuilding your life before your divorce is officially overWhen parallel parenting may work better than traditional co-parentingHow boundaries and structured communication can reduce divorce conflictWhy examining your own patterns can change what happens after divorceResourcesDivorce Crash Course If you're overwhelmed by the divorce process and afraid of making expensive mistakes, our Divorce Crash Course was created to help you understand what's coming and make smarter decisions along the way.https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOurFamilyWizard Andrea also discusses how structured co-parenting communication can help reduce the feeling that you are constantly being bombarded by your ex, particularly in high-conflict situations. We are the only podcast that can save you 20% on Our Family Wizard. www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck20And if this episode helped you, follow How Not to Suck at Divorce so the next episode finds you automatically.

Guided Divorce MeditationsIf you're stuck in a divorce fight that is making you anxious, angry, or completely unable to think clearly, start here.Our Guided Divorce Meditations are designed for the moments when you need to regulate your nervous system before you respond, negotiate, argue, or make another expensive decision.Divorce Crash CourseGoing through divorce and wondering what you should fight for, what you should let go, and how to avoid making expensive mistakes?Our Divorce Crash Course is a private podcast and guidebook designed to help you understand the divorce process, make smarter decisions, and avoid costly emotional mistakes.Typically priced at $150, it's available now for $50, thanks to our angel underwriters OurFamilyWizard and Soberlink.Episode Show NotesPeople spend thousands of dollars fighting over some truly ridiculous things in divorce.A wooden spoon. A blender. A sixth-grade yearbook. Beanie Babies. Airline miles. Even a tanning bed.And as funny as those stories sound, there is a very real reason they matter.Because most of the time, the thing you are fighting over is not actually the thing you are fighting over.In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea Rappaport and family law attorney Morgan Stogsdill are joined by attorneys Sarah Jacobs and Jamie Berger of Jacobs Berger for a conversation about the emotional and financial cost of digging in during divorce. One client spent hours in court fighting over a wooden spoon named Willy Woo. Another divorce came down to a battle over a blender. And one case required attorneys to spend days sorting through tubs of Beanie Babies because neither side could let them go. The stories are absurd.The behavior behind them is not.Divorce Can Turn Small Things Into Expensive BattlesWhen you are going through divorce, emotion can completely distort value.An object may be worth $100, but suddenly it represents your marriage, your history, your independence, your power, or your need to finally “win.”That is where people start spending far more in attorney fees than the thing they are fighting over is actually worth.In the episode, Andrea points out that the fight over one wooden spoon likely cost thousands of dollars in legal fees alone. And that is exactly why divorce strategy matters.Before you dig in, you have to ask yourself:What is this actually worth?Not emotionally.Financially.The Real Problem May Be ControlSometimes the fight is not about property at all.Morgan explains that many of these so-called “squirrel issues” ultimately come down to control. When someone feels like they have lost control of their life, their finances, their family, or the divorce process itself, they may try to regain that feeling of control by pushing the other person's buttons. Sarah adds that fear can drive the same behavior: fear of change, fear of being alone, fear of losing the life you knew, and fear of what comes next. That means the blender may not be about the blender.The yearbook may not be about the yearbook.And the airline miles may not be about the airline miles.Sometimes the fight itself has become a way to stay connected to the relationship, hold onto control, or avoid confronting the much bigger reality that the marriage is ending.Principle Has a Price TagOne of the strongest lines in this episode comes from Jamie:Principle has a price tag.If you are fighting over something purely because you believe you are right, you need to understand what that principle is going to cost you.That cost may be financial.It may also be emotional.You can absolutely decide that something matters enough to fight for. But that decision should be intentional—not reactive.Jamie recommends being honest with yourself and with your attorney about what truly matters to you and why. Treat Divorce Like a Business TransactionMorgan's advice is simple: do the math.Take the emotion out of the issue for a moment and write down the actual numbers.What is the item worth?What would it cost to replace?How many hours will your attorney spend fighting over it?How much will those hours cost?What are you potentially giving up in order to get it?Sometimes seeing those numbers on paper is enough to change your perspective. That does not mean divorce is emotionless.It means your decisions should not be controlled by those emotions.Give Your Attorney the “Shark Tank” PitchSarah offers another test:If you are determined to fight for something, explain why it matters in a way that would actually sound reasonable to a judge.Sell the argument.Explain the value.Explain what you are willing to give up in exchange.If you cannot make the case convincingly to your own attorney, you may want to reconsider whether this is really the hill you want to die on. And that matters beyond the object itself.Being unreasonable about a relatively small issue can affect how your position is perceived when the court is dealing with things that matter much more—support, custody, property division, or settlement.Ask Yourself What This Will Matter Five Years From NowThis may be the most useful perspective shift in the entire episode.Five years from now, are you going to care who got the blender?Are you really going to remember the airline miles?Will winning the fight over a piece of furniture have made your post-divorce life meaningfully better?Probably not.Andrea shares her own experience of losing a baby blanket she had slept with since birth—something she once believed she could never live without. A decade later, she is still standing. That is not to minimize the emotional meaning of possessions.It is to remind you that you are capable of letting go.Three Questions to Ask Before You FightBefore you spend another dollar arguing over something in your divorce, do three things.First, ask yourself why this matters so much.Second, do the math and compare the value of the item to the cost of fighting for it.Third, if you still want it, make the case. Explain why it matters, what it is worth, and what you are willing to give up to get it.If you cannot answer those questions clearly, it may not be worth the fight. Because getting divorced is already expensive enough.You do not need to make it more expensive just to prove a point.In This EpisodeAndrea, Morgan, Sarah, and Jamie discuss ridiculous divorce fights, how emotional attachment can drive up legal fees, why control and fear fuel unnecessary conflict, when possessions really are worth negotiating over, how mediation can help rein in a case, and how to make smarter financial decisions during divorce.They also tackle one critical question:Is this thing actually valuable—or are you just trying to win?SEO Keywordsdivorce mistakes, expensive divorce mistakes, what to fight for in divorce, divorce legal fees, divorce strategy, fighting over assets in divorce, divorce property division, emotional divorce decisions, high conflict divorce, divorce settlement strategy, divorce mediation, divorce attorney fees, divorce negotiation tips, divorce financial mistakes, dividing property in divorce

Need Help Calming Your Nervous System?Try our Guided Divorce Meditations, created specifically for the moments when divorce anxiety, anger and overwhelm are taking over.Use them before responding to a triggering text, before a difficult conversation, before court, before mediation—or anytime you need help getting out of your head and back into control.Divorce Crash CourseGoing through divorce and have no idea what you're supposed to be doing next? Start with our Divorce Crash Course—a private podcast and guidebook designed to help you understand the divorce process, avoid expensive mistakes, and feel a whole lot less lost.Typically priced at $150, it's available now for just $50, thanks to our angel underwriters OurFamilyWizard and Soberlink.High-conflict people—and especially manipulative, narcissistic exes—can have an incredible ability to get inside your head. One text, one email, one strange interaction at school pickup can completely derail your nervous system if you let it.And during divorce, that matters.Because when you are already emotionally exhausted, stressed, angry and running on fumes, that is exactly when you are most likely to make a bad decision. You fire off the text. You respond to the email. You call your attorney while completely dysregulated. You snap at your kids. You take the bait.In this mini episode, Andrea talks about what happens when a high-conflict ex triggers you and why your first job is not to win, explain, defend or react. Your first job is to recognize that you are triggered and give yourself a grown-up timeout.And that is where STFU comes in.No, not that STFU.This one stands for:S — StopRecognize what is happening before you react.T — Take SpaceGet out of the immediate situation long enough to regulate yourself.F — Find Your GoalAsk yourself what you actually want to accomplish in that moment.U — Utilize a ResourceCall a friend. Talk to your therapist. Go for a walk. Fold laundry. Clean the kitchen. Listen to music. Or use one of our Guided Divorce Meditations to help calm your nervous system and move through the anxiety, anger and overwhelm before you do something you regret.Andrea also talks about splitting, a manipulation tactic often seen in high-conflict dynamics. Splitting can push you away from the very people who are trying to support you—your friends, family, therapist, attorney or partner. And when you are already worn down by divorce, it becomes even easier to start taking your stress out on those people.That is exactly why emotional regulation matters so much during a high-conflict divorce.The goal is not to never get triggered. You will.The goal is to catch yourself before that trigger starts making decisions for you.And if you are in one of those moments where your brain is spinning, your heart is racing and you feel like you are about to absolutely lose it, this is also exactly what our Guided Divorce Meditations were created for. They are short, practical tools you can use when divorce anxiety, anger or panic is taking over and you need help getting yourself back to baseline.Because sometimes the best thing you can do for your case, your kids and your own sanity is simple:Stop. Take space. Find your goal. Utilize a resource.Divorce is a marathon. Protect your energy. Protect your judgment. Protect the relationships that matter to you.And when a high-conflict ex tries to pull you into the chaos?Do not take the bait.In This EpisodeAndrea talks about dealing with a high-conflict or narcissistic ex, recognizing emotional manipulation during divorce, avoiding reactive communication, managing divorce triggers, understanding splitting, using the STFU method to regulate yourself, and knowing when to step away before making a costly mistake.Need Help Calming Your Nervous System?Try our Guided Divorce Meditations, created specifically for the moments when divorce anxiety, anger and overwhelm are taking over.Use them before responding to a triggering text, before a difficult conversation, before court, before mediation—or anytime you need help getting out of your head and back into control.Subscribe to the podcast so you don't miss an episode, and leave us a review if the show is helping you.www.ratethispodcast.com/notsuckYou can do this. You are doing this. And you are going to get through your divorce.high conflict divorce, narcissistic divorce, divorcing a narcissist, narcissistic manipulation in divorce, high conflict ex, divorce triggers, emotional manipulation, toxic ex spouse, divorce anxiety, emotional regulation during divorce, co parenting with a narcissist, how to respond to a narcissist, divorce meditation, guided divorce meditation, divorce stress, divorce podcast

Divorce and Emotional Endurance: 3 Ways to Survive a High-Conflict DivorceGuided Divorce Meditations for When You're About to Lose Your Sh$tFor the moments when you can't sleep, when you miss your kids, when you're worried about money, or just need to get through the next ten minutes.

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Divorce Keeping You Up at Night? How to Stop the 2 A.M. SpiralDIVORCE CRASH COURSE: Divorce is expensive. Making avoidable mistakes makes it even more expensive. Our Divorce Crash Course gives you the information we wish every person had before and during divorce—from choosing an attorney and understanding your finances to custody, parenting agreements and the mistakes that can cost you thousands.Typically priced at $150, available now for $50, thanks to our angel underwriters, OurFamilyWizard and Soberlink.[GET THE DIVORCE CRASH COURSE HERE]NEW: GUIDED DIVORCE MEDITATIONS: When your brain won't shut up about your divorce, we made something specifically for that. Our Guided Divorce Meditations are short, on-demand meditations for the moments divorce hits hardest—including when you can't sleep, you're worried about money or your kids, you're spiraling about your marriage, or you're struggling with a custody transition.[GET THE GUIDED DIVORCE MEDITATIONS HERE]If divorce is keeping you awake at night, you're definitely not alone.You go to bed exhausted, but the second everything gets quiet, your brain decides it's time to solve your entire divorce.What if my ex is hiding money? What if something happens with the kids? What does that email from my attorney mean? What if this goes to trial? Did I remember to send that document? Should I respond to that text? What if I can't afford this?Suddenly it's 2:34 a.m., you're wide awake, and you're trying to solve problems that probably cannot be solved from your bed.In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea Rappaport and family law attorney Morgan Stogsdill are talking about divorce anxiety, insomnia and what to do when you can't stop thinking about your divorce at night.And we're giving you an actual strategy.Morgan explains how to separate the things that genuinely require action from the things that feel urgent because your anxious brain is filling in the blanks. Andrea shares why losing sleep during divorce can make an already difficult situation worse—and potentially affect the decisions you're making the next day.The goal isn't to pretend everything is fine.It's learning to recognize what needs your action—and what needs your inaction.In This Episode You'll LearnWhy divorce anxiety can feel so much worse at nightWhat to do when you wake up worrying about your divorceThe pen-and-paper strategy Morgan recommends for getting worries out of your headHow to determine whether something actually requires actionWhy you should think twice before emailing your divorce attorney late at nightHow to create a running list of questions for your attorneyWhy you should draft—but NOT send—emotional late-night emailsHow late-night texts and emails from your ex can destroy your sleepWhy setting communication boundaries with your co-parent mattersHow to use OurFamilyWizard notification settings more strategicallyWhy sometimes doing absolutely nothing is the smartest action you can takeWhat to tell yourself when your brain refuses to shut downWhy resting can be enough when you can't force yourself to fall asleepHow changing your environment may help break the cycle when you're lying awake spiralingThe 2 A.M. Divorce Brain DumpIf you wake up in the middle of the night and your brain is racing, Morgan recommends keeping a pen and paper next to your bed.Write down everything that's occupying your brain—not just the divorce stuff.Then go through the list and ask yourself:Can I actually take action on this tonight?Or:Do I have any control over the outcome of this tonight?If the answer is no, cross it out for tonight.If the answer is yes, decide whether it truly requires action immediately or whether you can make a plan to handle it tomorrow.Most things can wait until morning.And if it's something you want to discuss with your divorce attorney, write it down or put the email in your drafts. Do not hit send at 2 a.m.Your rested morning brain may have a very different—and considerably shorter—email to send.Stop Letting Your Ex Into Your BedroomNot literally. We have an entirely different podcast episode for that problem.We're talking about your phone.If your ex tends to send inflammatory texts, emails or co-parenting messages late at night, you do not have to allow those notifications to dictate when your nervous system goes into overdrive.Morgan recommends setting boundaries around when you receive and read messages. Andrea also points out that if you're using OurFamilyWizard, you can choose when you receive your daily notifications.Your ex's 10:30 p.m. message does not automatically become your 10:31 p.m. emergency.And it goes both ways.Don't send your ex angry late-night messages either. Aside from destroying everyone's sleep, creating a documented pattern of bad communication is probably not something you want your attorneys—or potentially a judge—reading later.What Needs Action—and What Needs Inaction?We often divide our problems into two categories:Things I can control.Things I can't control.Andrea offers a different way to think about it during divorce:What needs my action?And:What needs my inaction?Sometimes inaction is an active decision.You can recognize that something is scary, painful or uncertain without trying to solve it tonight.You aren't pretending the problem doesn't exist.You're deciding:Not now.Tomorrow, you can reopen the box.Tonight, your job is to rest.When Your Brain Still Won't Shut UpSometimes you've written everything down. You've made tomorrow's list. You've silenced your notifications. You've decided what can wait.And your brain is still going.That's exactly why we created our Guided Divorce Meditations.Earlier this week, we released one of the meditations completely free on the podcast: For When You Can't Sleep.It's about 10 minutes long, and Andrea walks you through putting those thoughts and fears somewhere safe for the night—not throwing them away, not pretending they don't matter, but giving yourself permission to stop carrying them until morning.The complete Guided Divorce Meditation library is $20 and includes meditations created specifically for different moments of divorce when you need help quieting the noise.[GET THE GUIDED DIVORCE MEDITATIONS HERE]Resources MentionedDivorce Crash CourseGuided Divorce MeditationsOurFamilyWizardSoberlinkSubscribe, Rate & ReviewIf How Not to Suck at Divorce is helping you get through your divorce a little smarter, calmer and more prepared, please subscribe and leave us a review. It helps more people find the show and allows us to keep creating resources that actually help you through this process.Rate the podcast:www.ratethispodcast.com/notsuckAnd remember: you are going to get through this.One step at a time. One day at a time. And sometimes, one hour at a time.You've got this.And we've got you.SEO Keywordsdivorce anxiety, can't sleep during divorce, divorce insomnia, divorce keeping me awake, how to sleep during divorce, anxiety during divorce, divorce stress, divorce anxiety at night, divorce meditation, guided divorce meditation, meditation for divorce anxiety, divorce sleep meditation, how to stop thinking about divorce, divorce overthinking, divorce attorney advice, communicating with ex during divorce, co-parenting communication, divorce lawyer communication, high conflict divorce, divorce mental health, coping with divorce, divorce podcast, How Not to Suck at DivorceMentioned in this episode:Need Extra Cash?Why not see how much Worthy can get you for your ring? It's a risk free process- and Worthy works with you to get the best price possible. Get an extra $100 if your ring sells for more than $1500. https://vip.worthy.com/divorcepod/?utm_medium=podcast&utm_source=how_not_to_suck_at_divorce

Divorce Anxiety Keeping You Awake? A Guided Meditation for SleepGet the complete Guided Divorce Meditation collection here.Can't sleep because of your divorce? This episode is for you.When you're going through a divorce, nighttime can be brutal. The house gets quiet, the distractions stop, and suddenly your brain decides it's the perfect time to think about everything.Money. Your kids. Your ex. That text you received earlier. What your attorney said. What you wish you'd said. What happens next. What went wrong in your marriage. What your life is going to look like six months from now.And somehow you're supposed to sleep.In this special mini episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea is sharing one of our brand-new Guided Divorce Meditations completely free.This meditation was created specifically for the nights when divorce anxiety won't let you sleep.Put in your earbuds, get comfortable, and press play.You don't need to figure out your entire divorce tonight. You don't need to solve tomorrow's problems from your bed. Right now, you just need to get through this moment and give your brain and body a chance to rest.Get the Complete Guided Divorce Meditation CollectionIf this meditation helps, we've created an entire library of Guided Divorce Meditations for the specific moments during divorce that can feel completely overwhelming.These aren't generic meditations. They're designed for the actual thoughts, fears and situations that come with divorce—worrying about money, worrying about your children, replaying your marriage, dealing with the emotions around custody transitions, and the moments when your mind simply will not stop spiraling.We created these for you because sometimes you don't need another piece of divorce advice.Sometimes you just need someone to help you get through the next ten minutes.And if there's a part of divorce you're struggling with that we haven't created something for yet, tell us. Reach out and let us know what you need. Everything we create at How Not to Suck at Divorce is designed to make this process a little less overwhelming.You can do this.You're already doing it.One step at a time. One day at a time. You've got this...and we've got you. And if you need more support with action steps, our Divorce Crash Course is available for you right here.Mentioned in this episode:Smarter Way to Sell Your Jewelry After my divorce was finalized, I sold my old engagement ring to a jeweler — and honestly, I was stunned by how little I got for it compared to what it originally cost. If I could do it all over again — which is kind of the theme of this podcast — I would have sold it through Worthy. Worthy is a modern, smarter way to sell your jewelry online. Their process is incredibly easy: they cover shipping and insurance, professionally clean and photograph your jewelry, and have it graded by experts to help maximize its value. What makes Worthy different is that they create a competitive auction environment where buyers bid against each other for your piece — meaning they are motivated to help you get the highest price possible. It's completely risk-free and honestly something I wish I had known about sooner. Get started today by heading to worthy.com/divorcepod and lock in an extra $100 when your jewelry sells for more than $1,500.

Want Your Ex to Behave Better? Try This Instead

Divorce Crash CourseThinking about divorce or already in the middle of one? Don't make expensive mistakes before you understand your rights.Our Divorce Crash Course gives you practical guidance on attorneys, finances, custody, parenting agreements, and the biggest mistakes people make during divorce.Typically priced at $150, available now for just $50 thanks to our angel underwriters, Our Family Wizard and Soberlink.

Divorce Isn't Fair: How to Stop the Negative Spiral and Move Forward

Divorce Cyberstalking: What to Do If You Think Your Ex Is Watching You OnlineDivorce Crash Course: Don't make expensive divorce mistakes.Our Divorce Crash Course walks you through the biggest legal, financial, emotional, and co-parenting mistakes people make during divorce — and how to avoid them.Typically priced at $150, available now for just $50, thanks to our angel underwriters, Our Family Wizard and Soberlink.Start the course here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseCyberstalking during divorce can make you feel unsafe, paranoid, unsteady, and completely overwhelmed.But here's the thing: sometimes what feels “crazy” is actually a real digital safety issue.In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea Rappaport and Morgan L. Stogsdill are joined by Steven Bradley, a former FBI task force leader, cybersecurity expert, domestic violence specialist, and cyberstalking educator, to talk about what to do if you think your ex is watching, tracking, monitoring, or digitally harassing you during divorce.And yes — this episode is scary.But more importantly, it is actionable.Steven explains that cyberstalking is often easier than people realize because many exes already know your passwords, security question answers, shared devices, family routines, Wi-Fi setup, smart home devices, and personal information. Cyberstalking is not always some dramatic hacker-in-a-hoodie situation. Sometimes it is access to your Amazon Alexa, Ring doorbell, Nest thermostat, pet camera, cloud account, location sharing, shared passwords, or old devices.In other words: your ex may not need to “hack” you if they already have access.Terrifying? Yes. Useful to know? Also yes.In this episode, we cover:How cyberstalking can show up during divorceWhy many people dismiss early warning signs as “coincidences”How smart home devices can be used to monitor or harass someoneWhy shared passwords and security questions are a major riskWhat to do if you think your ex has access to your phone, email, cloud, or devicesWhy you should not delete suspicious messages or evidenceHow to create a timeline of cyberstalking concernsWhen to tell your divorce attorneyWhy co-parenting apps can help protect communicationHow VPNs, multi-factor authentication, and anti-malware tools can helpWhy public Wi-Fi can be riskyWhat parents should know about children's apps, gaming, and DiscordWhy taking action can lower paranoia and help you feel saferFirst signs of cyberstalking during divorceCyberstalking can start small.You may notice:strange text messagesanonymous calls or emailsyour ex showing up where you aresmart home devices acting strangelylights, thermostats, or cameras changing unexpectedlyunfamiliar apps on your phonelogin alertsodd account activitysomeone seeming to know things they should not knowSteven explains that many offenders start with small behaviors and escalate when they feel they can get away with it. That is why it is important not to dismiss everything as coincidence, especially during a high-conflict divorce or custody battle.What to do if you think you are being cyberstalkedSteven's first action step is simple:Do not delete anything.Preserve texts, emails, screenshots, suspicious messages, device alerts, app changes, login warnings, and anything that feels off. Create a timeline. Write down what happened, when it happened, where you were, and what evidence you have.Digital evidence can be time-sensitive, and some data may disappear or overwrite itself. The sooner you document, the better.Tell your divorce attorney earlyIf you believe you may be dealing with cyberstalking, do not wait until it becomes unbearable.Tell your attorney.Morgan explains that divorce lawyers may need outside experts to help connect the dots, preserve evidence, and explain what is happening in a way the court can understand. Cyberstalking can be technical, and many attorneys and judges are not cybersecurity experts.This is not about panicking.It is about protecting yourself, documenting what is happening, and getting the right people involved early.Secure your digital lifeSteven recommends assuming your passwords may be compromised and taking steps to secure your digital life.That may include:changing passwordschanging security questionsturning on multi-factor authenticationreviewing location sharingchecking Life360, Find My, Snap Maps, and similar appsauditing old accountsclosing accounts you no longer useusing anti-malware tools on phones and computersavoiding public Wi-Fi when possibleusing a reputable VPNchecking shared smart home devicesreviewing cloud accessremoving your ex from shared accounts and devicesAnd yes, this includes the things people forget about: Alexa, pet cameras, thermostats, doorbells, old apps, children's devices, shared family accounts, and even old platforms you forgot existed.Friendster, we are looking at you.Why co-parenting apps matterIf communication with your ex feels unsafe, chaotic, manipulative, or digitally risky, this may be a time to talk to your attorney about using a court-monitored co-parenting app.In this episode, Steven and Morgan discuss how a co-parenting app like Our Family Wizard can help keep communication contained, documented, and harder to manipulate.If you are concerned about cyberstalking or digital harassment, talk to your attorney about whether requesting a co-parenting app makes sense in your case.Our Family Wizard:www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck20How Not to Suck at Divorce listeners can save 20% off the Essentials package for the first year through our relationship with Our Family Wizard.The biggest takeawayTechnology is not the problem.Stalking, control, and harassment have existed forever. Technology just makes it easier.The goal is not to become paranoid. The goal is to become aware, document what is happening, and take action early.As Andrea says in this episode, doing nothing is often the part that makes you feel crazier. Taking action — documenting, telling your attorney, changing passwords, securing accounts, using a co-parenting app, and asking for help — can help you feel safer and more grounded.If something feels off, do not ignore it.Document it. Tell your attorney. Secure your devices. Get help early.You've got this. And we've got you.Connect with Steven BradleySteven Bradley is a former FBI task force leader, cybersecurity expert, domestic violence specialist, and cyberstalking educator.sbradley@ourfamilywizard.comJoin The How Not to Suck at Divorce CommunityNeed more support during divorce?Join our free private Facebook community for real conversations, support, and guidance from people who understand what you are going through.How Not to Suck at Divorce Community Listen to How Not to Suck at DivorceWebsite: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/Podcast: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/podcastDivorce Crash Course: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseSEO Keywordsdivorce cyberstalking, cyberstalking during divorce, cyberstalking ex, online stalking during divorce, digital safety during divorce, divorce cybersecurity, ex tracking me during divorce, smart home devices divorce, co-parenting app, Our Family Wizard, divorce safety, high conflict divorce, divorce attorney advice, digital harassment divorce, cyber abuse divorce, online harassment divorce, divorce podcast, How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea Rappaport, Morgan Stogsdill, Steven BradleyMentioned in this episode:Smarter Way to Sell Your Jewelry After my divorce was finalized, I sold my old engagement ring to a jeweler — and honestly, I was stunned by how little I got for it compared to what it originally cost. If I could do it all over again — which is kind of the theme of this podcast — I would have sold it through Worthy. Worthy is a modern, smarter way to sell your jewelry online. Their process is incredibly easy: they cover shipping and insurance, professionally clean and photograph your jewelry, and have it graded by experts...

Divorce: How to Stay Grounded When Everything Feels UnsteadyDivorce Crash Course:Don't make expensive divorce mistakes.Our Divorce Crash Course walks you through the biggest legal, financial, emotional, and co-parenting mistakes people make during divorce — and how to avoid them.Typically priced at $150, available now for just $50, thanks to our angel underwriters, Our Family Wizard and Soberlink.Start the course here:https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseDivorce can make everything feel unstable.Your home, your routines, your finances, your parenting schedule, your future — all of it can feel like it's shifting under your feet. So how do you stay grounded when the divorce process feels anything but steady?In this mini episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea Rappaport shares a simple but powerful grounding reminder from her own backyard: be like the tree.Yes, really.After staring up at the big, mature trees in her yard, Andrea reflects on how trees survive season after season. They lose leaves. They lose branches. They weather storms. But because their roots run deep, they remain standing.And honestly? That is a pretty perfect divorce metaphor.This episode is a calming reminder for anyone going through divorce, considering divorce, or recovering from divorce anxiety. You may feel overwhelmed, reactive, scared, or completely unsteady right now — but that does not mean you are going to be taken down by this process.You may lose some leaves.You may lose a branch.You may look and feel different on the other side.But you will still be here.You will still be strong.You will still be you.Andrea also talks about how spending time outside, planting flowers, caring for something living, and reconnecting with nature can be a surprisingly grounding way to manage divorce stress and anxiety.No, you do not need to become a full horticulture goddess. You do not even need to know if “horticultury” is a word.But you may need a plant.Or a pot.Or a tree to stare at for a minute while you remind yourself that you are more rooted than this moment feels.In this episode, Andrea talks about:How to stay grounded during divorceWhy divorce can make you feel emotionally reactiveHow nature can help regulate stress and anxietyWhy trees are the perfect metaphor for surviving divorceHow to calm your nervous system when life feels unstableWhy divorce is a marathon, not a sprintHow small grounding practices can help you through hard daysWhy you will still be standing after this storm passesThis episode is for you if:You are feeling overwhelmed by divorceYou are struggling with divorce anxietyYou feel emotionally reactive or unsteadyYou need a quick grounding reminderYou are trying to get through a hard divorce dayYou need reassurance that you will survive this processYou want a calming mini episode that does not feel overly woo-wooDivorce is unsettling. It is emotional. It can feel completely unhinged.But you do not have to become unhinged with it.When in doubt, be like the tree.Stay rooted in who you are. Stay grounded in what you know. And remember: you are going to get through this.You've got this.And we've got you.Listen to How Not to Suck at DivorceWebsite:https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/Podcast:https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/podcastDivorce Crash Course:https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseSEO Keywordsdivorce anxiety, divorce stress, how to stay grounded during divorce, grounding during divorce, divorce meditation, divorce mini episode, coping with divorce, emotional regulation during divorce, divorce support, divorce podcast, divorce advice, how to get through divorce, divorce healing, divorce overwhelm, divorce nervous system, stress during divorce, nature and anxiety, How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea Rappaport, Morgan StogsdillMentioned in this episode:Smarter Way to Sell Your Jewelry After my divorce was finalized, I sold my old engagement ring to a jeweler — and honestly, I was stunned by how little I got for it compared to what it originally cost. If I could do it all over again — which is kind of the theme of this podcast — I would have sold it through Worthy. Worthy is a modern, smarter way to sell your jewelry online. Their process is incredibly easy: they cover shipping and insurance, professionally clean and photograph your jewelry, and have it graded by experts to help maximize its value. What makes Worthy different is that they create a competitive auction environment where buyers bid against each other for your piece — meaning they are motivated to help you get the highest price possible. It's completely risk-free and honestly something I wish I had known about sooner. Get started today by heading to worthy.com/divorcepod and lock in an extra $100 when your jewelry sells for more than $1,500.

Divorce issue:When you don't agree with your attorney and Why Going Rogue Can Cost You Thousands

Divorce: How to Talk to a Guardian ad Litem Without Hurting Your Custody Case

Divorce and Children: The Parenting Mistakes That Can Increase Your Child's Anxiety | Featuring Retired Judge Michele Lowrance

Divorce Doesn't Need to Be Solved by EOD

Stay-at-Home Parent and Divorce: How to Leave an Unhappy Marriage When You Don't Have Your Own IncomeThinking about divorce is hard.Thinking about divorce when you're a stay-at-home parent can feel impossible.How do you afford an attorney? What happens if your spouse controls the finances? Will you have to go back to work immediately? What if you've been out of the workforce for years?First, get your hands on the $50 Divorce Crash Course to save money on your divorce process. In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea Rappaport and top family law attorney Morgan Stogsdill tackle one of the most common concerns we hear in our community: how stay-at-home parents can prepare for divorce without letting fear take over.Whether you're a stay-at-home mom, stay-at-home dad, or the primary parent managing the household, this episode will help you understand your options, your value, and the practical steps you can take right now to prepare for your next chapter.In This EpisodeWhy stay-at-home parents often feel trapped in unhappy marriagesThe biggest misconceptions about divorce and stay-at-home parentingHow to afford a divorce attorney when you don't have your own incomeWhy gathering financial documents is one of the most important first stepsWhat attorneys look at when evaluating maintenance and alimonyHow education, training, and work history impact divorce outcomesWhether you should go back to work before filing for divorceWhat to do if your spouse controls the financesHow fear causes stay-at-home parents to underestimate their valueWhy information is the key to making better divorce decisionsWays to start generating income before and during divorceHow OurFamilyWizard can help co-parents stay organizedKey Takeaways✔️ Being a stay-at-home parent does not make you less valuable in a divorce.✔️ The work you do inside the home has real value, even if it doesn't come with a paycheck.✔️ Every divorce case is different, which is why getting legal advice early is critical.✔️ Gathering financial documents now can save you time, money, and stress later.✔️ Fear often makes stay-at-home parents feel powerless—but information creates confidence.✔️ There are often more options available than you realize.✔️ Divorce is a marathon, not a sprint.✔️ You do not have to have everything figured out before taking the next step.If You're Thinking About DivorceOne of the biggest mistakes people make is assuming they need to have a complete plan before speaking with an attorney.You don't.You simply need enough information to understand your options.The sooner you start learning about the divorce process, your finances, and your legal rights, the sooner you'll be able to make decisions from a place of confidence instead of fear.Our Family WizardCheck them out- they are a resource that is here to help you make coparenting easier. You can save 20% on your essentials package here: www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck20Divorce Crash CourseIf you're considering divorce—or you're already in the middle of one—the Divorce Crash Course was created for you.Learn how divorce works, what mistakes to avoid, how to save money on attorney fees, how to protect your finances, and how to make smarter decisions throughout the process.Typically priced at $150, available now for just $50 thanks to our angel underwriters, Our Family Wizard and SoberLink.

Fear Is the Quiet Devil in Divorce (Here's How to Stop Letting It Run the Show)Divorce is scary.Not because every fear is true, but because fear has a way of convincing us that the worst-case scenario is right around the corner.In this mini episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea Rappaport explores why fear becomes one of the most powerful forces during the divorce process—and how you can stop it from controlling your decisions.Get The $50 Divorce Crash Course. Drawing on insights about nervous system regulation, anxiety, and personal experience, Andrea explains why confidence doesn't come from feeling fearless. It comes from collecting evidence that you can do hard things and survive them.If you're feeling overwhelmed by attorney consultations, difficult conversations, legal decisions, or uncertainty about the future, this episode will help you understand how fear works—and how to move forward anyway.In This EpisodeWhy fear becomes so powerful during divorceHow your nervous system learns through evidence, not reassuranceThe connection between confidence and small winsWhy tackling smaller fears helps prepare you for bigger challengesHow knowledge and information reduce anxietyThe role of curiosity in overcoming fearWhy waiting is one of the hardest parts of divorceHow catastrophic thinking keeps you stuckThe surprising benefits of positive daydreamingHow to calm your brain before making important decisionsKey Takeaways✔️ Fear loses power when you gather evidence that you can handle difficult situations.✔️ Confidence is built through action, not certainty.✔️ Small challenges train your nervous system to tolerate bigger ones.✔️ Knowledge reduces fear because uncertainty fuels anxiety.✔️ Divorce decisions are easier when your nervous system is regulated.✔️ Catastrophizing is a habit—not a prediction.✔️ You are allowed to imagine positive outcomes too.✔️ Calm first. Then apply the tools.A Practical ExerciseThink about one thing you're afraid of during your divorce.Now don't tackle that thing first.Instead, ask yourself:What's one smaller thing I can do today that feels slightly uncomfortable but manageable?Maybe it's:Scheduling an attorney consultationPosting in a support groupAsking a question you've been avoidingCompleting paperwork you've been putting offSetting a small boundaryEvery action becomes evidence.And evidence creates confidence.Divorce Doesn't Require FearlessnessYou do not have to become fearless to get through divorce.You only need enough evidence to remind yourself:"I've survived 100% of the difficult things I've faced so far."You can survive this too.Divorce Crash CourseLooking for practical guidance, legal insights, and emotional support during divorce?Our Divorce Crash Course walks you through the biggest mistakes people make during divorce, how to save money on attorney fees, what to expect during the process, and how to make smarter decisions when emotions are running high.Typically priced at $150, available now for $50 thanks to our angel underwriters, Our Family Wizard and SoberLink.

Biggest Mediation Mistakes to Avoid:After decades on the bench, retired Judge Michele Lowrance has seen firsthand what truly destroys families during divorce—and it isn't always what you think.Don't miss out on the $50 Divorce Crash CourseIn this powerful episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea Rappaport and Morgan L. Stogsdill sit down with the Honorable Michele Lowrance, retired domestic relations judge, nationally recognized mediator, author of The Good Karma Divorce, and one of the leading voices in family law and divorce mediation. Together, they explore why mediation is often a better path than litigation, what happens to families when conflict escalates into court battles, and how parents can protect their children while navigating one of life's most painful transitions.Judge Lowrance shares the science behind emotional decision-making, the impact of divorce conflict on children, why the right mediator can make or break your case, and how even high-conflict couples can find a path toward resolution.If you're preparing for mediation, considering litigation, or simply trying to make better decisions during your divorce, this episode is a must-listen.In This Episode, We Discuss:Why mediation is often a better alternative to courtroom litigationWhat happens to children when parents remain locked in conflictThe emotional and neurological impact of divorceHow fear, anger, and grief affect decision-makingWhy good people struggle during mediationThe critical role of the mediatorHow to choose the right mediator for your divorceWhat to expect from the first mediation sessionWhy high-conflict divorces can still benefit from mediationHow to move from emotional reactions to thoughtful decisionsThe concept behind The Good Karma DivorceKey Takeaways✔️ Divorce decisions made from anger often create long-term damage✔️ Mediation allows families to move toward acceptance rather than remaining stuck in conflict✔️ The right mediator should challenge, guide, and creatively problem-solve—not simply carry offers back and forth✔️ Children are deeply affected by ongoing parental conflict✔️ Emotional regulation is one of the most important skills during divorce✔️ The first mediation offers are often difficult—but that doesn't mean mediation isn't working✔️ You won't always feel the same way about your ex that you do today✔️ Keeping your focus on the future can help you make better decisions nowThree Action Steps from Michele Lowrance1. Don't Impose Your AgendaBefore discussing a difficult topic with your co-parent, ask whether it's a good time for the conversation. Respect timing and create rules of engagement that reduce conflict.2. Remember You Won't Always Feel This WayThe emotions you're experiencing right now are real—but they won't last forever. Make decisions based on your future, not just your current pain.3. Keep Your Eye on the TargetFocus on healing, protecting your children, and moving forward. Don't try to navigate divorce alone—get the support you need.About Michele LowranceMichele Lowrance is a retired Cook County Domestic Relations Judge, nationally recognized divorce mediator, author, and family law thought leader. She practiced family law for more than two decades before serving nearly twenty years on the bench and has dedicated her career to helping families resolve conflict with less trauma and more humanity.Her book, The Good Karma Divorce, explores how individuals can emerge from divorce with dignity, healing, and purpose.Divorce Crash CourseThinking about divorce? Currently going through one?Our Divorce Crash Course walks you through the biggest mistakes people make during divorce, how to save money on attorney fees, what to expect during the process, and how to protect yourself legally and financially.Typically priced at $150, available now for $50, thanks to our angel underwriters, Our Family Wizard and Soberlink.

Divorce Mediation: Why Preparation Matters More than you Think Most people approach divorce mediation with one thought:"I have to do this."But what if that's the wrong mindset?Make you check out the $50 Divorce Crash Course. In this mini episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea Rappaport explains why mediation can actually be one of the most valuable opportunities you'll have during your divorce—and how proper preparation can save you time, money, stress, and frustration.Too many people walk into mediation without a clear strategy, without understanding what they want, and without discussing realistic outcomes with their attorney. The result? Missed opportunities, wasted time, and unnecessary conflict.Andrea breaks down exactly how to prepare for mediation, what questions to ask your attorney, and why mediation should be viewed as an opportunity to move closer to your goals—not just another frustrating step in the divorce process.This episode is sponsored by Worthy: the smarter way to sell your jewelry. Get started by heading to Worthy.com/divorcepod and lock in an extra $100 when your item sells for more than $1,500.In This Episode, We Discuss:Why mediation is often misunderstood during divorceThe biggest mistake people make before mediationWhy preparation is critical to successful mediationHow to identify what you actually want from the processCreating a mediation strategy with your attorneyUnderstanding realistic outcomes before you walk into the roomHow to anticipate what your spouse may ask forWhy mediation can provide valuable information—even if no agreement is reachedThe importance of choosing the right mediatorHow mindset impacts divorce outcomesKey Takeaways✔️ Mediation gives you more control than having a judge decide for you✔️ Showing up unprepared can cost you valuable opportunities✔️ You should clearly define your goals before mediation begins✔️ Work with your attorney to develop a negotiation strategy✔️ Ask your attorney for best-case, worst-case, and most likely outcomes✔️ Even unsuccessful mediation can provide valuable information✔️ Mindset matters—view mediation as an opportunity, not a punishment✔️ The more prepared you are, the better positioned you'll be to advocate for yourself and your childrenQuestions to Ask Your Attorney Before MediationIs what I want realistic?What steps will help us get there?What do you think the other side is likely to ask for?What is the best-case scenario?What is the worst-case scenario?What is the most likely outcome?What concessions or "sweeteners" might help move negotiations forward?What should I expect during the mediation process?About the HostsAndrea Rappaport is a comedian, marketer, divorce survivor, and co-host of How Not to Suck at Divorce. Through humor, honesty, and practical advice, Andrea helps people navigate divorce with more confidence and less fear.Morgan L. Stogsdill is Head of Family Law at Beermann LLP and brings legal insight and real-world family law experience to every episode.Divorce Crash CourseThinking about divorce? Currently going through one?Our Divorce Crash Course walks you through the biggest mistakes people make during divorce, how to save money on attorney fees, what to expect during the process, and how to protect yourself legally and financially.Typically priced at $150, available now for $50, thanks to our angel underwriters, Our Family Wizard and Soberlink.

Divorce Anxiety Relief: A 5-Minute Guided Reset for When Everything Feels Like Too MuchIf you're listening to this episode, chances are something happened.Maybe you received a text from your ex.Maybe your attorney sent an email.Maybe you're feeling overwhelmed by co-parenting, custody issues, financial stress, or simply the emotional weight of divorce.Or maybe nothing happened at all.Maybe you're just exhausted.In this special guided meditation episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea Rappaport walks you through a simple but powerful exercise designed to help calm your nervous system, regulate overwhelming emotions, and get your brain back online when divorce anxiety starts to take over.When we're triggered during divorce, our brains often convince us that every problem needs to be solved immediately. This guided reset helps you slow down, reconnect with the present moment, and remember one important truth:Your feelings are real. But they are not emergencies.Whether you're experiencing divorce anxiety, panic, sadness, anger, overwhelm, or emotional exhaustion, this episode is designed to help you pause, breathe, and regain perspective.Save this episode and come back to it anytime you need a reset.In This Episode You Will Learn✅ How to calm your nervous system during divorce stress✅ Why emotional overwhelm can make it difficult to think clearly✅ A simple grounding exercise to reduce anxiety✅ How to stop spiraling thoughts during divorce✅ Why your feelings are real—but not emergencies✅ How to regulate your emotions before responding to a triggering text or email✅ Practical techniques for staying present during difficult moments✅ How to focus on the next hour instead of the next yearTimestamps(00:00) Welcome and emotional reset(01:00) Why your feelings are not emergencies(02:15) Understanding divorce anxiety and spiraling thoughts(03:30) Grounding exercise: 5 things you can see(04:15) Grounding exercise: touch and sound awareness(05:15) Why your divorce is not your identity(06:20) Focusing on the next hour instead of the next year(07:10) Guided affirmations for divorce recovery(08:20) Final breathing exercise and encouragementKey Takeaways

***Link to the Guided Meditation for Divorce Anxiety**How Not to Suck at Divorce YouTube Divorce: How to Handle the Rejection When You Didn't Want the DivorceDivorce is painful no matter what. But when you're not the one who wanted it? It can feel like so much more than a life change. It can feel like rejection.In this heartfelt mini episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea Rappaport and Morgan Stogsdill tackle one of the most painful—and least discussed—parts of divorce: being the spouse who didn't want the marriage to end.But first- Don't miss out on our Divorce Crash Course. It's $50 for a limited time. Get it now to save thousands on your divorce. Why does being left hurt so much? Why do so many people immediately assume they're not enough? And how can that emotional pain quietly derail your divorce case, cost you money, and keep you stuck chasing answers you'll never get?Andrea and Morgan break down what happens to your brain when you're blindsided by divorce, why rejection often feels personal even when it isn't, and how to keep heartbreak from driving legal decisions.Plus, Andrea shares a simple but powerful tool that helped her survive some of her darkest divorce days: the "scheduled meltdown."In This Episode You Will Learn✅ Why divorce rejection feels so personal ✅ What happens to your brain when you're blindsided ✅ Why people often treat divorce like evidence against themselves ✅ How emotional pain can lead to expensive legal mistakes ✅ The difference between grieving a person and grieving a future ✅ Why family court cannot provide emotional closure ✅ How heartbreak can derail settlement negotiations and mediation ✅ The legal risks of making decisions from a place of hurt ✅ Andrea's "scheduled meltdown" technique for emotional regulation ✅ How to get your brain back online when emotions take overTimestamps(00:00) Why divorce feels like rejection when you didn't want it (03:16) The emotional conclusions people make after being left (04:20) How rejection can derail your divorce strategy (05:21) You're not really fighting about the house (06:33) Grieving the future you thought you would have (07:07) Why legal deadlines don't stop for heartbreak (08:17) The expensive trap of chasing closure (10:12) Morgan's cautionary tale about "Chad" and emotional decision-making (12:02) The opposite problem: fighting every battle out of anger (13:30) Separating emotion from legal strategy (14:00) Andrea's "scheduled meltdown" exercise (16:33) How to release emotions without sabotaging your case (18:18) Why this divorce is only one episode in your storyKey Takeaways

People are already using AI during divorce whether attorneys like it or not.They're asking ChatGPT to:analyze texts from their exexplain legal documentshelp write co-parenting responsesbuild parenting schedulesorganize timelinesprepare for mediationand sometimes… emotionally spiral at 2amSo where's the line between using AI strategically and using it in a way that could quietly damage your case?Leave us a review!

Manipulation during divorce can make you feel like you're constantly reacting, constantly defending yourself, and constantly emotionally exhausted. One minute you're calm… and the next, you're spiraling because your ex sent another manipulative text, guilt-inducing email, or chaotic late-night message.So how do you stop the cycle?

Nobody really prepares you for the moment your ex moves on romantically. You may think you're okay… until suddenly there's another person around your children, sitting at school events, helping with bedtime routines, or becoming part of your kids' everyday lives.And that can feel incredibly painful.

Divorcing someone who feels smarter, wealthier, more connected, or more powerful than you can feel incredibly intimidating. Whether your spouse is an attorney, business owner, CEO, doctor, or high-income professional, many people enter divorce already convinced they are going to lose.But here's the truth: powerful does not mean invincible.

Should You Hire a “Shark” Divorce Attorney? Here's What No One Tells YouWhen you're preparing for a difficult divorce, it's tempting to think you need the most aggressive divorce lawyer money can buy. A “pit bull.” A “shark.” Someone who promises to destroy your ex in court.But is hiring a shark divorce attorney actually the smartest strategy—or one of the most expensive mistakes you can make?

One of the biggest mistakes people make during divorce is showing up emotionally overwhelmed and completely unorganized. If you want to save money on attorney's fees, strengthen your divorce case, and stop wasting time reacting emotionally, you need one thing: a timeline.

The Happy Surprises in Divorce No One Talks AboutDivorce is painful, overwhelming, and emotionally brutal—but there are also surprising parts of the divorce process that can be unexpectedly healing, empowering, and even beautiful. If you're in the thick of divorce and struggling to see beyond the pain, this episode offers a hopeful reminder that not every part of this journey is negative.

Divorce and Big Decisions: How Your Hormones May Be Affecting Your Divorce More Than You ThinkPerimenopause and hormonal changes can impact your mood, anxiety, emotional regulation, and even your ability to make major life decisions—especially during divorce. If you're wondering whether your marriage is falling apart, your emotions are out of control, or you simply don't feel like yourself, understanding how hormones and perimenopause affect divorce decisions may be more important than you realize. And men, this episode has some good info for you, too.

Why Your Divorce Attorney May Not Be Fighting for You (And What You're Missing About Divorce Law)Feeling like your divorce attorney isn't fighting hard enough for you? In many divorce cases, the issue isn't that your attorney is failing you—it's that family court only allows attorneys to fight for what the law actually supports. If you don't understand how divorce laws, family court, and legal strategy work, it can feel like your lawyer is rolling over when they may simply be telling you the truth about your case.

Five years after your divorce, your life will look completely different—and not in the way you're probably imagining right now. Divorce recovery, life after divorce, and rebuilding your identity can feel overwhelming in the moment, but the long-term outcome might surprise you in the best way.

Divorce Mistakes That Cost Thousands: What NOT to Do Before You FileDivorce mistakes can cost you thousands, especially when you don't understand the divorce process, hiring a divorce lawyer, or how parenting agreements and legal decisions actually work.

If you're really concerned about saving money in your divorce, then you need The Divorce Crash Course- it will save you THOUSANDS. Get it here. If your ex or the other side is telling you that your divorce lawyer “isn't doing their job”… don't panic just yet.In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea Rappaport and Morgan Stogsdill break down one of the most common—and manipulative—tactics used during divorce: making you doubt your own attorney.You'll learn why the other side often blames your lawyer when they're feeling pressure, how this tactic is used to gain leverage, and how to tell the difference between strategy and an actual problem with your legal representation.Because while it can happen… most of the time, it's not what you think. WHAT YOU'LL LEARN:Why your ex says your lawyer isn't doing their jobHow “splitting” is used to create doubt and gain leverageWhen this happens most (mediation, proposals, pressure moments)Why lack of response can actually be a legal strategyHow to avoid spiraling and wasting money reacting emotionallyThe real signs your divorce lawyer might actually be the problemWhen to trust the process vs. when to question it KEY TAKEAWAY:Just because the other side says your lawyer is the problem…

Get the Divorce Crash Course and grab your Balance Sheet Template here!Struggling to get what you want in your divorce? You're not alone—and the problem may not be what you're asking for, but how you're negotiating.In this mini episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea Rappaport and Morgan Stogsdill break down one of the most common (and costly) mistakes people make during divorce negotiations—and how to fix it.Using a real-life example of “Chad and Brenda,” they explain why disorganized settlement proposals, scattered responses, and multiple documents can quickly derail progress, increase stress, and cost you time and money.You'll learn how to stay aligned in negotiations, keep proposals clear, and use simple visual tools—like structured documents and balance sheets—to track progress and make smarter decisions. WHAT YOU'LL LEARN:How to negotiate effectively in divorceWhy responding within the same proposal structure mattersThe biggest mistake people make in settlement negotiationsHow to avoid confusion and “losing track” during back-and-forth offersWhy using one document or balance sheet can simplify the entire processHow visual organization can reduce stress and improve outcomes KEY TAKEAWAY:Divorce negotiations aren't just about what you ask for—they're about how clearly and strategically you communicate.When everything is organized in one place, you make better decisions, avoid unnecessary conflict, and move the process forward more efficiently. RESOURCES:Want a simple way to organize your divorce finances and negotiations?

Get the Divorce Crash CourseYou might not want to hear this… but you need to.If your divorce feels more stressful than it should, you might be part of the problem—and it likely comes down to unrealistic expectations.In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, hosts Andrea Rappaport and Morgan Stogsdill break down the most common ways clients unintentionally make their divorce harder, more expensive, and more emotionally draining.From expecting your attorney to respond immediately… to assuming you'll get full custody… to chasing a “forensic accountant fantasy”… this episode is your reality check.Because divorce is emotional—but the legal system is procedural. And when your expectations don't match how the system actually works, it creates unnecessary stress, frustration, and costly mistakes.What You'll Learn:Why expecting immediate responses from your attorney is setting you up for frustrationWhat actually qualifies as a legal “emergency” (and what doesn't)Why most people don't need a forensic accountant (and when you actually do)The truth about full custody and how courts really make decisionsWhy divorce timelines are not in your controlHow unrealistic expectations increase your anxiety—and your legal billsKey Takeaway:Divorce isn't just hard because of your ex.It's hard because of the expectations you bring into it.When you shift your mindset and understand what you can—and can't—control, the entire process becomes more manageable.Want more real, no-BS divorce advice?

Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseDivorce is overwhelming. Some days you're strong, focused, and ready to tackle legal decisions. Other days you just need something — anything — to help calm your nervous system and get through the moment.In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, host Andrea Rappaport shares three surprisingly simple tools that helped her survive some of the hardest days during her own divorce:Target. Alexa. TikTok.These everyday distractions may sound random, but they can actually help interrupt the emotional spiral that many people experience during divorce. When your brain gets stuck ruminating about things you cannot control, small shifts in your environment can make a big difference.If you're struggling with loneliness, anxiety, or intrusive thoughts during divorce, this episode offers practical — and refreshingly honest — ways to break the cycle.Why Divorce Triggers Emotional SpiralsDivorce often creates a perfect storm of stress:• uncertainty about the future• loneliness and silence at home• repetitive thoughts about the past• emotional overwhelmWhen your brain gets stuck in this loop, it becomes harder to regulate your emotions. Sometimes the healthiest move isn't deep therapy work — it's simply interrupting the spiral long enough to reset your nervous system.3 Surprisingly Helpful Divorce Coping Tools1. Target: Get Out of the HouseWhen you're stuck ruminating about your divorce, one of the best things you can do is change your physical environment.Walking around a place like Target gives your brain new visual input — colors, textures, movement — which can interrupt repetitive thought patterns.You don't need to go on a shopping spree. Just walking through a store, moving your body, and being around other people can lift your mood and help you reset.2. Alexa: Don't Sit in SilenceSilence can be one of the hardest parts of divorce, especially when you suddenly find yourself living alone.Using a voice assistant like Alexa (or any smart speaker) can help fill that space with:• music• podcasts• random questions• background noiseEven small interactions with sound can help regulate your emotional state and keep your mind from spiraling.3. TikTok: Embrace the DistractionScrolling on TikTok may not be the self-care advice most therapists give — but sometimes distraction is exactly what you need.When you're deep in divorce stress, going down a completely unrelated rabbit hole can give your brain a break from obsessive thinking.The goal isn't perfection — it's survival.Bonus Tip: Go Sit at a Bar (Even If You Don't Drink)One of Andrea's unexpected coping strategies during divorce was simply sitting at a bar with a laptop or book.Not for drinking — for connection.Bars are one of the few places where casual conversation with strangers still happens. Being around other people, hearing conversations, and interacting with a bartender can break the feeling of isolation many people experience during divorce.The Truth About Divorce Self-CareSome days you'll make healthy choices:• therapy• journaling• exercise• meditationOther days you just need something that helps the pain stop for a moment — and that's okay.Divorce is not a sprint. It's a marathon. And learning how to survive the difficult days is part of the process.Key Takeaways From This Episode• Divorce anxiety often comes from rumination and emotional isolation• Changing your environment can help interrupt negative thought loops• Sound and background noise can reduce feelings of loneliness• Distraction isn't always unhealthy — sometimes it's necessary• You don't have to do everything perfectly to get through divorceRemember ThisYour divorce will end.You won't be going through this forever. One day you will look back and realize that you survived something incredibly hard — and came out stronger on the other side.And until that day comes, remember:You've got this. And we've got you.Our Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Meeting with a divorce attorney for the first time can feel overwhelming. You're emotional, uncertain, and trying to make decisions that could impact your finances, your children, and your future. The problem is that when you're in that emotional state, it's easy to walk into a consultation unprepared and ask the wrong questions-or miss the questions that actually matter.In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Morgan Stogsdill pulls back the curtain on what really happens during divorce consultations and shares the best—and worst—questions you can ask a divorce attorney.If you're preparing to meet with a lawyer, this episode will help you walk into that consultation with confidence, ask smarter questions, and avoid mistakes that could cost you time and money.What You'll Learn in This EpisodeWhy divorce attorneys struggle to answer questions like “How long will this take?” and “How much will this cost?”How preparation before your consultation can dramatically improve your legal strategyThe surprising question every client should ask their attorney about how they present as a witnessHow communication expectations with your legal team can affect your experience and your billThe powerful question Morgan asks clients that reveals the hidden risks in a divorce caseThe Questions Divorce Attorneys Wish You Would AskDuring your initial consultation, asking thoughtful questions can help you better understand your case and set realistic expectations.Some of the most helpful questions include:1. How would I present as a witness if this case went to court? Even though most divorces settle before trial, understanding how your behavior, communication, and evidence may be perceived can help you strengthen your case.2. Is there anything in my story that could make achieving my goals difficult? This question allows your attorney to set realistic expectations and identify potential challenges early.3. What is the best way to communicate with you and your team? Many law firms work collaboratively with legal teams. Understanding how communication works can help you get faster responses and better support.4. What can I do to be more prepared and save money on legal fees? Being organized—creating timelines, gathering documents, and preparing information—can significantly reduce the amount of billable time your attorney spends on your case.Questions That Are Hard for Attorneys to AnswerWhile they're completely understandable, two questions clients ask most often are also the hardest to answer:“How long will my divorce take?”The timeline depends on many variables, including court schedules, negotiations, cooperation between parties, and whether the case settles or goes to trial.“How much will my divorce cost?”Divorce costs can vary widely depending on how contentious the case becomes, whether mediation is used, and how prepared both parties are throughout the process.The Question That Reveals EverythingOne of the most powerful questions Morgan asks potential clients is:“What's the worst thing your ex is going to say about you?”This question often catches people off guard, but it reveals critical information about potential arguments, credibility, and issues that could surface during negotiations or litigation.Being honest about weaknesses in your case allows your attorney to prepare for them strategically.Preparing for Your Divorce ConsultationWalking into a consultation prepared can make a huge difference in how productive the meeting is. Some helpful steps include:gathering financial documentsunderstanding who your spouse's attorney may beorganizing a timeline of eventsthinking through your goals for the divorceThe more information you bring to the consultation, the easier it is for your attorney to give meaningful guidance.Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseResources Mentioned in This EpisodeGuide: How to Hire the Right Divorce AttorneyThe Divorce Crash CourseHow Not to Suck at Divorce Private CommunityYou can find direct links to these resources in the episode show notes.About the PodcastHow Not to Suck at Divorce helps people navigate divorce with clarity, strategy, and support. Hosted by comedian Andrea Rappaport and family law attorney Morgan Stogsdill, the podcast breaks down the legal, financial, and emotional realities of divorce so listeners can avoid costly mistakes and move forward with confidence.Our Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicagoMentioned in this episode:Natural Cycles When your body feels unpredictable, your decisions shouldn't have to be. Get insight and clarity with NC° Perimenopause. Visit Naturalcycles.app/divorce to learn more and save on a subscription and wearable.Natural Cycles

Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseRate our show! www.ratethispodcast.com/notsuckDivorce can bring out emotions you didn't even know you had. One minute you're trying to stay calm and take the high road, and the next minute you're imagining what it would feel like to throat punch your ex. If that sounds familiar, you're not alone.In this mini episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea Rappaport talks about what to do when your ex pushes you to your absolute emotional limit. While it might feel satisfying in the moment to lash out, reacting emotionally during the divorce process can make your case more complicated—and a lot more expensive.Instead of reacting impulsively, there are a few powerful ways to redirect that anger and turn it into something far more productive.In this episode, you'll learn three practical ways to manage intense emotions during divorce, avoid unnecessary conflict, and stay focused on the bigger picture: protecting your outcome and your future.What You'll Learn in This EpisodeWhy reacting emotionally during divorce can backfire legally and financiallyHow writing the angry email you'll never send can help release frustrationThe importance of shifting from emotional reaction to strategic thinkingWhy understanding your ex's motivations can help you respond more effectivelyHow moving your energy into action can help regulate intense emotions during divorce3 Things to Do Instead of Throat Punching Your Ex1. Write the email you want to send—but don't send it. Get the anger out. Write exactly what you want to say. Just don't hit send. Emotional messages during divorce can easily become evidence that complicates your case.2. Think, don't feel. When your ex does something that makes you furious, pause and ask yourself: what are they actually trying to accomplish? Understanding their strategy can help you respond more effectively instead of reacting emotionally.3. Do anything that moves the energy out of your body. Anger is energy. Go for a walk, organize something, run an errand, take a class—anything that helps you move through the emotion instead of sitting in it.Divorce Is Emotional—But Strategy MattersDivorce can sometimes feel like psychological warfare. But the more you can shift from emotional reaction to strategic decision-making, the better your outcome will be.A moment of anger may feel satisfying in the short term, but preparation and clear thinking will serve you much better throughout the divorce process.As Andrea says in this episode:Plan more. Cry less.Need More Support During Divorce?If you feel like your divorce process is happening faster than you can keep up with, the Divorce Crash Course can help.Inside the course, we break down the strategy behind divorce—from finances and working with your attorney to custody agreements and avoiding the biggest mistakes people make during the process.The goal is simple: help you protect your sanity, your finances, and your future.Resources MentionedThe Divorce Crash CourseThe How Not to Suck at Divorce private communityAbout the PodcastHow Not to Suck at Divorce helps people navigate divorce with clarity, strategy, and support. Hosted by Andrea Rappaport and family law attorney Morgan Stogsdill, the podcast breaks down the legal, financial, and emotional realities of divorce in plain English—so you can avoid costly mistakes and move forward with confidence.Our Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Get the NEW Divorce Crash Course right here!Ever read an email from your divorce attorney and think:“What the hell does that even mean?”You're not alone.In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, hosts Andrea Rappaport and Morgan L. Stogsdill break down the confusing world of legal jargon, attorney shorthand, and “lawyer speak” that leaves so many divorce clients feeling lost.If your attorney has ever said things like:“We'll reserve that issue.”“Opposing counsel is being unreasonable.”“The judge may not view this favorably.”“We need more discovery.”…and you nodded along while secretly thinking “am I winning or am I getting screwed?” — this episode is for you.Morgan translates the most common divorce lawyer phrases into plain English, while Andrea asks the questions every client is secretly thinking.You'll also learn how to tell the difference between normal legal communication and a lawyer who simply isn't communicating well.Because understanding your divorce strategy isn't a luxury — it's your right.What You'll Learn in This Episode✔ What lawyers actually mean when they say “we'll reserve that issue” ✔ Why divorce attorneys avoid giving 100% certainty about outcomes ✔ The real meaning behind “the judge may not view this favorably” ✔ Why discovery is one of the most misunderstood parts of divorce ✔ How to tell if your attorney is explaining strategy clearly ✔ Red flags that signal a bad communicator (or worse) ✔ When it might be time to get a second legal opinionDivorce Lawyer Phrases TranslatedMorgan and Andrea break down common phrases you may hear from your divorce attorney:“That's not something we want to concede.” Translation: Not necessarily a “no” — but definitely not right now.“We'll reserve that issue.” Translation: The decision is being pushed down the road until more information is available.“The judge may not view this favorably.” Translation: This could seriously backfire in court.“Opposing counsel is being unreasonable.” Translation: Something behind the scenes is slowing the process down.“We need more discovery.” Translation: We need documents, financials, or evidence to support your case.Green Flags: Signs You Have a Great Divorce LawyerA strong divorce attorney should be able to explain:• What is happening in your case • Why it matters • What your options are • The risks and rewards of each choice • The strategy moving forward • The potential cost of each moveA good lawyer explains things like they're talking to their neighbor — not lecturing a law school class.Red Flags in Attorney CommunicationIf you consistently feel:⚠ More confused after speaking with your lawyer ⚠ Like your questions are dismissed ⚠ Intimidated for asking clarification ⚠ Unsure of the strategy ⚠ Like you're being told to “just trust me”…it may be time to reconsider the relationship.Questions You Should Ask Your Divorce LawyerIf something doesn't make sense, try asking:• “Can you explain that in plain English?” • “What does that mean for my case specifically?” • “What's the best-case and worst-case scenario?” • “What's the strategy behind this?” • “Is this something judges typically approve?” • “How will this affect my legal fees?”You deserve to understand the process and the plan.When It Might Be Time for a Second OpinionGetting another legal perspective is not a betrayal.Consider a second opinion if:Communication is unclearStrategy hasn't been explainedYou feel dismissed or confusedYour gut says something isn't rightGreat lawyers aren't threatened by second opinions — they welcome informed clients.Resources Mentioned