How Not To Suck At Divorce

Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseRate our show! www.ratethispodcast.com/notsuckDivorce can bring out emotions you didn't even know you had. One minute you're trying to stay calm and take the high road, and the next minute you're imagining what it would feel like to throat punch your ex. If that sounds familiar, you're not alone.In this mini episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea Rappaport talks about what to do when your ex pushes you to your absolute emotional limit. While it might feel satisfying in the moment to lash out, reacting emotionally during the divorce process can make your case more complicated—and a lot more expensive.Instead of reacting impulsively, there are a few powerful ways to redirect that anger and turn it into something far more productive.In this episode, you'll learn three practical ways to manage intense emotions during divorce, avoid unnecessary conflict, and stay focused on the bigger picture: protecting your outcome and your future.What You'll Learn in This EpisodeWhy reacting emotionally during divorce can backfire legally and financiallyHow writing the angry email you'll never send can help release frustrationThe importance of shifting from emotional reaction to strategic thinkingWhy understanding your ex's motivations can help you respond more effectivelyHow moving your energy into action can help regulate intense emotions during divorce3 Things to Do Instead of Throat Punching Your Ex1. Write the email you want to send—but don't send it. Get the anger out. Write exactly what you want to say. Just don't hit send. Emotional messages during divorce can easily become evidence that complicates your case.2. Think, don't feel. When your ex does something that makes you furious, pause and ask yourself: what are they actually trying to accomplish? Understanding their strategy can help you respond more effectively instead of reacting emotionally.3. Do anything that moves the energy out of your body. Anger is energy. Go for a walk, organize something, run an errand, take a class—anything that helps you move through the emotion instead of sitting in it.Divorce Is Emotional—But Strategy MattersDivorce can sometimes feel like psychological warfare. But the more you can shift from emotional reaction to strategic decision-making, the better your outcome will be.A moment of anger may feel satisfying in the short term, but preparation and clear thinking will serve you much better throughout the divorce process.As Andrea says in this episode:Plan more. Cry less.Need More Support During Divorce?If you feel like your divorce process is happening faster than you can keep up with, the Divorce Crash Course can help.Inside the course, we break down the strategy behind divorce—from finances and working with your attorney to custody agreements and avoiding the biggest mistakes people make during the process.The goal is simple: help you protect your sanity, your finances, and your future.Resources MentionedThe Divorce Crash CourseThe How Not to Suck at Divorce private communityAbout the PodcastHow Not to Suck at Divorce helps people navigate divorce with clarity, strategy, and support. Hosted by Andrea Rappaport and family law attorney Morgan Stogsdill, the podcast breaks down the legal, financial, and emotional realities of divorce in plain English—so you can avoid costly mistakes and move forward with confidence.Our Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Get the NEW Divorce Crash Course right here!Ever read an email from your divorce attorney and think:“What the hell does that even mean?”You're not alone.In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, hosts Andrea Rappaport and Morgan L. Stogsdill break down the confusing world of legal jargon, attorney shorthand, and “lawyer speak” that leaves so many divorce clients feeling lost.If your attorney has ever said things like:“We'll reserve that issue.”“Opposing counsel is being unreasonable.”“The judge may not view this favorably.”“We need more discovery.”…and you nodded along while secretly thinking “am I winning or am I getting screwed?” — this episode is for you.Morgan translates the most common divorce lawyer phrases into plain English, while Andrea asks the questions every client is secretly thinking.You'll also learn how to tell the difference between normal legal communication and a lawyer who simply isn't communicating well.Because understanding your divorce strategy isn't a luxury — it's your right.What You'll Learn in This Episode✔ What lawyers actually mean when they say “we'll reserve that issue” ✔ Why divorce attorneys avoid giving 100% certainty about outcomes ✔ The real meaning behind “the judge may not view this favorably” ✔ Why discovery is one of the most misunderstood parts of divorce ✔ How to tell if your attorney is explaining strategy clearly ✔ Red flags that signal a bad communicator (or worse) ✔ When it might be time to get a second legal opinionDivorce Lawyer Phrases TranslatedMorgan and Andrea break down common phrases you may hear from your divorce attorney:“That's not something we want to concede.” Translation: Not necessarily a “no” — but definitely not right now.“We'll reserve that issue.” Translation: The decision is being pushed down the road until more information is available.“The judge may not view this favorably.” Translation: This could seriously backfire in court.“Opposing counsel is being unreasonable.” Translation: Something behind the scenes is slowing the process down.“We need more discovery.” Translation: We need documents, financials, or evidence to support your case.Green Flags: Signs You Have a Great Divorce LawyerA strong divorce attorney should be able to explain:• What is happening in your case • Why it matters • What your options are • The risks and rewards of each choice • The strategy moving forward • The potential cost of each moveA good lawyer explains things like they're talking to their neighbor — not lecturing a law school class.Red Flags in Attorney CommunicationIf you consistently feel:⚠ More confused after speaking with your lawyer ⚠ Like your questions are dismissed ⚠ Intimidated for asking clarification ⚠ Unsure of the strategy ⚠ Like you're being told to “just trust me”…it may be time to reconsider the relationship.Questions You Should Ask Your Divorce LawyerIf something doesn't make sense, try asking:• “Can you explain that in plain English?” • “What does that mean for my case specifically?” • “What's the best-case and worst-case scenario?” • “What's the strategy behind this?” • “Is this something judges typically approve?” • “How will this affect my legal fees?”You deserve to understand the process and the plan.When It Might Be Time for a Second OpinionGetting another legal perspective is not a betrayal.Consider a second opinion if:Communication is unclearStrategy hasn't been explainedYou feel dismissed or confusedYour gut says something isn't rightGreat lawyers aren't threatened by second opinions — they welcome informed clients.Resources Mentioned

GET THE DIVORCE CRASH COURSE!In this mini episode of How Not To Suck At Divorce, Andrea Rappaport and family law attorney Morgan L. Stogsdill introduce something they've been quietly working on for months: the brand-new Divorce Crash Course (DCC).This project has truly been a labor of love—built to give people going through divorce the information most attorneys simply don't have time to walk you through.And yes… this episode starts with Andrea surviving a spring break indoor water park, wearing airplane-sized noise-canceling headphones, smelling like pond water, and nearly losing her dignity.But once the laughter settles, Andrea and Morgan dive into something that could change the way you navigate your divorce.The Divorce Crash Course was created to help people avoid the most common—and most expensive—mistakes made during divorce.Because the truth is:Most people enter divorce with no roadmap, no strategy, and no idea what they don't know yet.That's where the DCC comes in.What Is the Divorce Crash Course?The Divorce Crash Course is a private podcast paired with a downloadable guidebook designed to walk you step-by-step through the divorce process.Inside the Crash Course, Andrea and Morgan break down the biggest issues people face in divorce and provide practical tools to help you make smarter decisions from the beginning.Unlike typical divorce resources, the DCC combines:a private podcast you can listen to anytimea printable guidebookclickable resources and templatesstep-by-step guidance on navigating divorceThe goal?To give you the same strategic insight Morgan gives her clients in a way that's accessible, clear, and affordable.Why This Divorce Crash Course Is DifferentAndrea and Morgan spent hours building this program because they know how overwhelming divorce can feel.Instead of leaving people to figure things out alone, the Divorce Crash Course provides:A clear roadmap for navigating divorceGuidance on how to communicate with your attorneyTools to help you save money on legal feesTemplates to organize your finances and parenting plansInsider tips on avoiding costly divorce mistakesAnd thanks to the support of OurFamilyWizard and Soberlink, the program is available for a fraction of what similar legal resources cost.What You'll Learn in the Divorce Crash CourseThe Divorce Crash Course addresses some of the most common questions people have during divorce, including:How to Save Money on Divorce Attorney FeesLearn how to communicate with your attorney efficiently so you're spending money where it matters most.What to Do With the Family HomeShould you keep the house or sell it? The course walks through how to think about this decision logically and strategically.How to Organize Your Divorce FinancesThe guidebook includes a custom marital balance sheet template that helps you track assets, debts, and financial information before speaking with your attorney.Parenting Plans and Custody AgreementsDivorce often becomes most emotional when discussing parenting time.The course includes:Common court-approved parenting schedulesKey provisions people forget to include in parenting agreementsTips for negotiating custody arrangements effectivelyThe Most Common Divorce MistakesAndrea and Morgan also break down the most frequent—and expensive—mistakes people make during divorce and how to avoid them.What's Included in the Divorce Crash CourseWhen you purchase the Divorce Crash Course, you'll receive:A private podcast with five guided episodesA downloadable guidebook with clickable resourcesA divorce balance sheet templateCustody schedule examplesTools to help you communicate with your attorney and your exOnce purchased, the private podcast can be added directly to your preferred podcast app so you can listen just like a normal show.Andrea recommends listening to one episode at a time and working through the guidebook alongside it.Frequently Asked Question:Do I Need the New Divorce Crash Course if I Bought the Old One?This is the question Andrea has received most frequently.The answer: Yes, the new Divorce Crash Course is different.While some concepts may overlap with previous guides, this new version contains completely new content, additional tools, and a private podcast format that makes it easier to absorb the information step-by-step.Why Andrea and Morgan Created ThisAndrea went through divorce herself.Morgan has spent nearly two decades practicing family law.Between them, they've seen the same painful patterns over and over again:People making expensive mistakes simply because they didn't know what questions to ask.The Divorce Crash Course was built to change that.It's designed to give people the knowledge and tools they need to move through divorce with more clarity, confidence, and control.A Little Humor Along the WayThis mini episode wouldn't be complete without the signature How Not To Suck At Divorce humor.Between discussing the Divorce Crash Course, Andrea shares:Her hatred of indoor water parksThe questionable hygiene of spring break crowdsWearing pilot-style headphones in public to survive the noiseAnd the moment a stranger at Dunkin' Donuts asked if she was her kids' great grandmotherBecause if you're going to survive divorce…You might as well laugh along the way.Where to Get the Divorce Crash CourseYou can purchase the Divorce Crash Course directly through the link below.Once you check out, you'll receive immediate access to:the private podcastthe downloadable guidebookall templates and resources

How to Respond to Threats and Aggressive Emails During Divorce: 2 Acronyms That Can Save Your SanityDivorce can make even the calmest person feel like they are about to unravel.One inflammatory text. One manipulative email. One last-minute demand from your soon-to-be ex.And suddenly your nervous system is on fire.In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Morgan Stogsdill and Andrea Rappaport share two simple acronyms designed to help you stop spiraling, regulate your nervous system, and decide whether a response is actually necessary.If you are dealing with high-conflict divorce communication, threatening messages, co-parenting drama, or an ex who knows exactly how to push your buttons, this episode will give you practical tools you can use immediately.Because when your ex is trying to bait you, your best move is not to react — it's to get strategic.In This Episode, We Talk About:how to respond to threatening emails during divorcewhat to do when your ex sends an inflammatory texthow to stop emotional spiraling during divorcewhy your nervous system reacts so strongly to conflictthe best way to pause before responding to your exhow to tell if a message actually requires a responsewhen to call your divorce attorney and when not tohow to communicate strategically in a high-conflict divorcewhy not every “urgent” message is truly urgenthow co-parenting apps like Our Family Wizard can reduce stressWhy Divorce Communication Feels So TriggeringWhen you're going through a divorce, communication with your ex is rarely neutral.Even a simple message can feel loaded. A text about travel, money, or the kids can instantly send your brain into panic mode — especially if the wording feels aggressive, manipulative, or threatening.Andrea explains that this is often a nervous system response. Your body reacts as though you are under attack, even if the threat is emotional rather than physical.That is why so many people:fire off emotional responsesregret what they wrote laterfeel hijacked by anxietyspend hours spiraling over one messageThis episode teaches listeners how to interrupt that pattern before it hurts their peace — or their case.Acronym #1: STOPThe first tool Morgan and Andrea teach is STOP, a simple framework designed to help listeners stop the immediate emotional unraveling.S — StopLiterally stop.Do not react. Do not respond. Do not keep ruminating.Say the word out loud if you have to:Stop.T — TemperatureChange your temperature to help regulate your nervous system.Andrea explains that cold temperature can help bring your system back online.Examples include:holding iceputting ice on your wristsdrinking ice-cold waterusing an ice roller on your faceO — OxygenBreathe.When people are triggered, they often hold their breath, tense up, and make the spiral worse.The key is to exhale first, then let yourself breathe back in.P — PriorityYour priority is your mental wellbeing, not firing back at your ex.Most messages do not require an immediate response.This is where listeners are reminded to give themselves at least an hour before doing anything.Why You Should Never Respond in the Same Emotional StateMorgan explains that when people respond too quickly, it is often obvious to attorneys, judges, and anyone reading the email that they got baited.That matters.Fast, emotional responses can:escalate conflictmake you look reactivestrengthen the other person's sense of controlpotentially hurt your caseWhen someone knows they can trigger you instantly, they are more likely to keep doing it.That's why creating time between the message and the response is such an important strategy in divorce communication.Acronym #2: THREATThe second acronym in the episode helps listeners figure out whether a response is warranted at all — and if so, how to respond strategically.T — TimingAsk yourself:Does this message actually need a response?If it does, do I need to respond today?The answer is often no.H — Highlight the parts that actually matterPull out the parts of the message that involve:your childrenmedical decisionsschedulingextracurricularsactual legal issuesIgnore the inflammatory filler.R — Redline the BSMorgan and Andrea encourage listeners to mentally cross out the emotional garbage.Most threatening divorce emails are full of:baitingexaggerationpersonal attacksirrelevant accusationsAndrea says it best:Most threatening emails are 80% emotional dribble-drabble garbage and only 20% actual legal issues.E — Emotionless evaluation of the factsLook at the message again without emotion and ask:Is there any actual merit here?Is anything true?Is there something that genuinely needs attention?A — Ask your attorneyIf the issue has merit or is really weighing on you, this is where your attorney comes in.Morgan reminds listeners that sometimes spending money on your lawyer is worth it for peace of mind and strategy.T — Take the strategic routeOnce you've gone through the steps above, you can decide whether:you should respondwhen you should respondhow you should respondThat is strategy. Not reactivity.High-Conflict Divorce Communication: Why Strategy MattersThis episode is especially helpful for people dealing with high-conflict divorce, difficult co-parenting communication, or an ex who weaponizes timing and urgency.Morgan gives an example of a co-parent suddenly demanding an answer about international travel for the kids and insisting that tickets need to be booked immediately.That kind of message can trigger panic fast.But the point of the THREAT framework is to help listeners separate:true urgencyparenting agreement languagelegal issuesmanipulative pressureSo they can...

Divorce is emotional. It's stressful. And if you're not careful, it can also become incredibly expensive.In this mini episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea Rappaport shares five things you should absolutely never do during a divorce — from serious legal mistakes that can impact your case to a few embarrassing (but very real) moments she experienced during her own divorce.Because when emotions are running high, it's easy to make decisions that feel good in the moment but can create bigger problems later.Whether you're navigating divorce right now or trying to prepare for what lies ahead, these practical tips will help you avoid common pitfalls and stay focused on what actually matters.Why Divorce Mistakes Can Cost You More Than You ThinkOne of the hardest parts of divorce is that you're making major legal and financial decisions while under extreme emotional stress.During this episode, Andrea explains why some of the most common divorce mistakes happen when people:react emotionally instead of strategicallyrely on advice from the wrong sourcesallow their ex to provoke them into conflictbring outside people into the legal dramaLearning how to pause, reset, and respond thoughtfully can save you thousands of dollars in attorney's fees — and a lot of unnecessary stress.The 5 Divorce Mistakes You Should Never Make1. Taking Legal Advice From Friends Who Got Divorced in Another State (or Another Decade)Divorce laws vary dramatically depending on where you live and when the divorce occurs.Andrea explains why taking advice from a friend who was divorced years ago — or in another state — can create unrealistic expectations and costly confusion.For example:Some states are more likely to award long-term alimonyOther states focus on short-term rehabilitative supportProperty division laws vary significantly across jurisdictionsRelying on outdated or out-of-state advice can lead to misunderstandings and expensive conversations with your attorney.2. Speaking in Court When No One Asked You ToDivorce court can be intimidating — especially in the age of virtual hearings.Andrea shares a hilarious (and slightly humiliating) story about accidentally unmuting herself during a Zoom court hearing when the judge was actually addressing an attorney with the same last name.Lesson learned:Never unmute yourself in court unless the judge is speaking directly to you.3. Responding to Threatening Emails ImmediatelyWhen you're in the middle of a divorce, aggressive emails or legal threats can trigger an emotional reaction.But responding immediately is one of the biggest mistakes you can make.Research shows it takes about 20 minutes for your nervous system to reset after a stressful event.Andrea recommends waiting at least an hour before responding, and using that time to regulate your body with simple strategies like:taking a walkdrinking ice-cold waterholding ice to your wristsdoing quick bursts of physical movementResponding calmly and strategically is always better than reacting emotionally.4. Bringing Your New Relationship Into the Divorce DramaDating during divorce happens more often than people admit.But involving your new partner in the details of your divorce can create unnecessary complications.Andrea explains why bringing your new love interest into legal conflicts can:create loyalty conflictsgenerate bad adviceescalate emotional tensionInstead, keep your dating life separate from the legal process whenever possible.5. Believing the Negative Things Your Ex Says About YouPerhaps the most important advice in this episode:Do not internalize the hurtful things your soon-to-be ex says about you during the divorce process.In many cases, these comments are designed to weaken your confidence or gain leverage in negotiations.Divorce is not the time to determine your self-worth.Your job right now is simply to survive the process and move forward.Healing and personal growth come later — after the legal storm has passed.Divorce Is a Marathon, Not a SprintDivorce often feels like an emotional roller coaster.Some days you'll feel strong and hopeful. Other days you'll feel completely overwhelmed.That's normal.The most important thing to remember is that you are not alone in this process.The How Not to Suck at Divorce podcast exists to provide practical divorce advice, real-life experiences, and the support you need to navigate this difficult chapter with confidence.Coming Up Next on the PodcastIn this week's full episode, Andrea and Morgan introduce two powerful acronyms designed to help you:respond to threats during divorcemanage aggressive communicationprotect your case while staying calmIf you struggle with how to respond to your ex during divorce, you won't want to miss it.Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicagoMentioned in this episode:Natural Cyles When your body feels unpredictable, your decisions shouldn't have to be. Get insight and clarity with NC° Perimenopause. Visit Naturalcycles.app/divorce to learn more and save on a subscription Natural Cycles

Real answers to the financial, parenting, and legal questions keeping you up at night.If you're going through a divorce, chances are you've asked yourself at least one of these questions:Who keeps the house?Do I have to pay alimony?What happens if my ex won't cooperate?How does a GAL affect custody?What counts as marital property after separation?In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea and Morgan answer real divorce questions submitted by members of their private community. From community property and spousal support to 50/50 parenting schedules, marital settlement agreements, home sales, custody concerns, and separation, this episode covers the kinds of issues that keep people up at night during divorce.This is an honest, practical, and empowering conversation designed to help you think more strategically, ask better questions, and make smarter decisions during the divorce process.In this episode, we discuss:What happens to business assets and property in divorceWhether keeping finances separate during marriage really protects an assetWhat to know about community property vs. separate propertyHow alimony, maintenance, or spousal support may be determinedWhether a salary increase can affect alimonyWhat to include in a divorce agreement if your ex may stop paying supportHow to think about custody, 50/50 parenting schedules, and parenting plan logisticsWhat a GAL (guardian ad litem) does in a divorce or custody caseHow to present concerns about the other parent without sounding reactiveWhether a spouse who moved out still has to help pay bills, utilities, or repairsWhat happens when an ex refuses to cooperate with the sale of the marital homeWhether retirement assets can be used to buy out a spouse's share of the houseWhy having the right strategy with your attorney can save money and stressKey takeaways from this divorce Q&ADivorce is rarely just about one issue. It is often a mix of legal questions, emotional stress, parenting concerns, and financial uncertainty all happening at once.In this episode, Morgan explains why it is so important to be proactive, not reactive during divorce. Whether you are dealing with custody, alimony, property division, a difficult ex, or a confusing settlement agreement, the more informed and prepared you are, the better decisions you can make.Andrea also shares an important reminder for anyone deep in divorce stress: sometimes you do not need to blow up your life or make a dramatic change. Sometimes you just need a break, a reset, and a strategy.If you're struggling with divorce right now…This episode is for you if you are:feeling overwhelmed by the divorce processworried about making the wrong financial decisionconfused about custody or parenting issuesdealing with an uncooperative exunsure what questions to ask your lawyertrying to figure out what is actually worth fighting forBecause divorce is not one-size-fits-all. And sometimes the biggest source of anxiety is simply not having enough information.Mentioned in this episodeOur Family Wizard – a co-parenting communication app often respected by courtsThe How Not to Suck at Divorce private communityThe upcoming Divorce Crash Course, including guidance on how to communicate more effectively with your attorneyAbout How Not to Suck at DivorceIf you're going through a divorce or thinking about divorce, this podcast is here to help you avoid major divorce mistakes and move through the process with more clarity, confidence, and support.Hosted by Morgan Stogsdill, head of family law at the largest family law firm in the country, and Andrea Rappaport, comedian and marketing expert, How Not to Suck at Divorce combines legal insight, real-life perspective, and humor to help make divorce feel a little less overwhelming.Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicagoMentioned in this episode:Natural Cyles When your body feels unpredictable, your decisions shouldn't have to be. Get insight and clarity with NC° Perimenopause. Visit Naturalcycles.app/divorce to learn more and save on a subscription Natural Cycles

Divorce can feel overwhelming, lonely, and emotionally devastating. In fact, during the process it can feel like your entire life has fallen apart — like there's no way things will ever feel normal again.But what if they do?In this mini episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Morgan shares a real story about a client who struggled deeply during his divorce. At the time, he couldn't imagine life without his marriage and could barely engage in the divorce process.Fast forward a few years, and his life looks completely different.This episode is a reminder that even when divorce feels impossible, there truly is light at the end of the tunnel.If you're in the middle of divorce, newly divorced, or feeling stuck in the emotional aftermath, this episode is for you.What We Discuss in This EpisodeWhy divorce can feel emotionally debilitatingThe intense fear, overwhelm, and uncertainty that come with ending a marriageA real-life story of a client who struggled deeply during divorceWhy some people shut down during the divorce processHow life can change dramatically in the years after divorceWhy time truly is one of the most powerful healing toolsHow small steps and mindset shifts help you move forwardThe Truth About Divorce That People Don't Talk AboutDuring divorce, many people feel:Paralyzed by fearOverwhelmed by decisionsEmotionally exhaustedUnsure what life will look like nextIt's completely normal.Divorce isn't just legal paperwork or financial negotiations — it's a major emotional and mental transition.But as Morgan explains, even clients who struggle the most during divorce often look back years later and realize something powerful:Life didn't fall apart — it changed, and in many cases, it got better.If You're Going Through Divorce Right NowIf you're listening and thinking:"That might happen for someone else, but not for me."Take a breath.The truth is that healing from divorce doesn't happen overnight. Sometimes it happens slowly — one hour, one day, one step at a time.But you will not feel this way forever.RememberEven when divorce feels like the hardest thing you've ever gone through:You are still standing. You are still moving forward. And you will get through this.You've got this.And we've got you.Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicagoMentioned in this episode:Natural Cycles This episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce is sponsored by Natural Cycles. Wondering if it's perimenopause or just stress? Take control. Visit NaturalCycles.app/divorce to explore a science-backed way to understand your body's changes & save on a subscription and wearable. When your body feels unpredictable, your decisions shouldn't have to be. Get insight and clarity with NC° Perimenopause. Visit Naturalcycles.app/divorce to learn more and save on a subscription and wearable. You're not alone in this transition. There are tools to help you make sense of what your body is doing. Visit naturalcycles.app/divorce to learn more and save on a subscription

An affair can destroy your marriage — but it does not have to destroy your divorce strategy.In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, family law attorney Morgan Stogsdill and comedian Andrea Rappaport tackle one of the most emotionally explosive divorce triggers: infidelity. Joined by therapist and Now What? podcast host Amy Neufeld, we break down what betrayal does to your nervous system, why your brain goes into survival mode, and how that can lead to expensive, irreversible divorce mistakes.If you're going through divorce after an affair, this conversation will help you understand what's happening in your body and mind — and give you practical action steps so you can make smarter decisions around custody, finances, and communication.In this episode, we cover:Why an affair can't destroy your divorce strategy unless you let emotions run the caseThe “Chad and Brenda” story: how revenge spending and legal warfare can implode the marital estateWhy infidelity is often attachment trauma (and why it feels like physical pain)What betrayal does to your brain: hypervigilance, panic, shutdown, and intrusive imagesThe 3 common responses to betrayal: attack, despair, or detachmentWhy anger can feel productive — but still cloud judgment during divorce negotiationsThe unpopular truth: divorce lawyers can fire clients, especially when trauma turns into sabotageHow to stop using the legal system for emotional relief (and why courts can't “make it right”)Amy's practical “Now What?” tools to stabilize after betrayal:Routine to rebuild predictabilityContain the pain so it doesn't take over your entire daySeparate facts from your story to calm your nervous system and make clearer decisionsWhy “the story” can create collateral damage (friends, family, custody dynamics)Co-parenting boundaries: why tools like OurFamilyWizard can help reduce conflict and document patternsThe mic-drop takeaway: An affair is an event. The story you build around it can shape the next decade of your life.If you're in the middle of divorce after cheating…This episode is for you if you're:Struggling to eat, sleep, or think straightFeeling consumed by intrusive thoughts or mental imagesTorn between revenge and “doing the right thing”Afraid you'll make a decision you'll regret financially or with custodyTrying to co-parent while you're still emotionally floodedAction Steps from this episodeBuild one predictable routine you can repeat dailyCreate a daily window to contain the pain (even 5 minutes counts)Write down what's fact vs story so your brain stops spiralingAvoid processing betrayal in court — process it with a qualified trauma-trained therapistUse structured communication to protect yourself during co-parentingGuest: Amy Neufeld — Therapist, Founder of Intentional Action Therapy, Host of Now What?Website: amyneufeldtherapy.comPodcast: Now What? https://pod.link/1881151960Our Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

How do you know when it's truly time to leave your marriage?In this mini episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea Rappaport shares the deeply personal story of how she knew her marriage was over — and the warning signs she ignored long before she finally said the words, “I want a divorce.”Andrea talks openly about the quiet red flags that started as whispers, the gut feelings she tried to ignore, and the emotional toll of staying in a relationship that wasn't healthy or sustainable. If you're questioning your marriage, feeling lonely in your relationship, or wondering if divorce might be the right next step, this episode offers an honest and compassionate perspective.Sometimes the hardest part of divorce isn't the legal process — it's acknowledging what your heart has already been trying to tell you.This episode is about learning to listen to those whispers before they become screams.In This EpisodeAndrea shares:The early red flags she ignored while datingWhy unhealthy relationships can feel familiar and “normal”The emotional experience of living in a marriage that doesn't feel rightWhat it feels like to avoid going home because the relationship feels so lonelyWhy many people stay in marriages long after they know something is wrongThe moment Andrea finally said “I want a divorce”Why gathering information about divorce can help you feel more empoweredThe importance of having a safe place to talk about what you're going throughIf You're Wondering Whether It's Time to Leave Your MarriageIf you're asking yourself questions like:Is my marriage over?Why do I feel so lonely in my relationship?How do I know when it's time to get divorced?What does it feel like when a marriage isn't working anymore?You are not alone. Many people experience the same doubts, fears, and emotional confusion before deciding to leave a marriage.This episode offers a reminder that listening to your instincts and seeking support can help you navigate one of the hardest decisions of your life.Resources MentionedIf you're thinking about divorce, these steps can help you start gathering information and support:Speak with a therapist or trusted professionalTalk to a divorce attorney to understand your optionsConnect with a supportive community of people going through similar experiencesContinue learning about the divorce process so you can make informed decisionsAbout the PodcastHow Not to Suck at Divorce is hosted by Morgan Stogsdill, head of family law at one of the largest family law firms in the country, and comedian Andrea Rappaport.Each episode helps people navigate divorce with expert guidance, honest conversations, and practical advice so you can avoid the biggest divorce mistakes.Divorce may be overwhelming, but you don't have to go through it alone.Final ReminderDivorce is a marathon, not a sprint.Some days you need information. Other days you just need to feel seen and heard.And if you're listening to this episode and questioning your marriage, know this:You deserve happiness.And remember:You've got this… and we've got you.Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicagoMentioned in this episode:Natural Cycles This episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce is sponsored by Natural Cycles. Wondering if it's perimenopause or just stress? Take control. Visit NaturalCycles.app/divorce to explore a science-backed way to understand your body's changes & save on a subscription and wearable. When your body feels unpredictable, your decisions shouldn't have to be. Get insight and clarity with NC° Perimenopause. Visit Naturalcycles.app/divorce to learn more and save on a subscription and wearable. You're not alone in this transition. There are tools to help you make sense of what your body is doing. Visit naturalcycles.app/divorce to learn more and save on a subscription

If you think you're messing up your divorce… relax.In this mini episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Morgan Stogsdill and Andrea Rappaport bring you a much-needed mental break with five outrageous, real-life divorce stories that prove one thing:No matter how chaotic your situation feels… someone is doing it worse.From a $15,000 bedazzled Buddha that cost double to fight over in court, to a couple who spent $100,000 litigating an ashtray (yes, really), to a husband who tried to avoid divorce by claiming he was technically a zombie — this episode highlights the wildest ways people derail their own divorce cases.Because here's the truth: divorce is emotional, but court is not.And when pettiness, revenge, or ego drive decisions, the only real winner is the attorney bill.In This Episode, We Cover:Why fighting over sentimental items can cost more than they're worthThe $100,000 ashtray case (and why judges lose patience)The legal consequences of “in-game crime” during divorceThe Beyoncé “To the Left” security system revenge momentThe infamous “zombie defense” divorce caseWhy judges see more chaos than you realizeHow not to let ego drive your legal strategyWhile this mini episode brings humor, the underlying message is serious:✔️ Petty fights cost real money ✔️ Emotional reactions extend litigation ✔️ Judges have seen everything — including wackadoo defenses ✔️ Revenge may feel good, but it rarely plays well in court ✔️ Strategy > spectacleDivorce can feel overwhelming, nauseating, and heavy. Sometimes you need a break — and sometimes you need perspective.If you're doggy-paddling through your divorce, consider this your reminder:You are not alone. You are not the most chaotic case in the courthouse. And you can absolutely get through this.Resources MentionedJoin our free, confidential divorce communityCheck out the updated Divorce Crash CourseExplore our downloadable divorce guidebooksOur Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Living with alcoholism can make you question everything—your judgment, your boundaries, even your reality. If you're thinking about divorcing an alcoholic (or you're not ready to leave yet, but you know something has to change), this episode is for you.Morgan Stogsdill and Andrea Rappaport sit down with Jeff Wright, an insurance brokerage founder and mentor who has helped countless people navigate toxic, alcohol-fueled relationships—shaped by his own childhood experience with an abusive alcoholic parent.Together, they unpack why leaving an alcoholic spouse can feel impossible (even when the situation is clearly unsafe), how trauma bonds keep people stuck, and what “self-preservation” really looks like when you're trying to protect your children and your sanity.You'll also learn the practical steps to take before you file: who to talk to (and who not to), how to make a plan quietly, how to build confidence when you feel shattered, and what legal tools can help keep kids safe—including monitoring options like Soberlink, testing, and supervised parenting time.If you've been surviving in chaos, consider this your permission slip to stop normalizing it—and start building a path out.What You'll Learn in This EpisodeWhy living with an alcoholic partner can distort your reality and decision-makingThe real reasons people stay (hint: it's often not money)What a trauma bond is and why “they hurt you, then hug you” feels like loveHow alcoholism impacts the drinker's brain—and why denial can be extremeHow to assess your home environment: stress signals, kids' behavior, and “waiting for them to come home” tensionWhat self-preservation actually means: privacy, planning, and choosing the right supportWhy your divorce attorney is not your therapist—and why you need bothConcrete action steps: quiet planning, go-bag/documents, separate accounts, and rebuilding confidenceLegal tools that can support safety for kids (monitoring/testing options and structured parenting arrangements)Episode Highlights / Timestamps00:00 The reality: alcoholism can make you question your judgment and reality00:57 Sponsor: OurFamilyWizard + discount code02:11 Who this episode is for (especially if you haven't left yet)03:07 Meet Jeff Wright and why this is his mission06:07 Jeff's childhood with an abusive alcoholic father (and lasting impact)08:17 Morgan explains why this becomes “normal” when you're living it10:29 Why people don't leave: kids, fear,...

Think emailing your divorce lawyer is the “cheapest” way to communicate? Think again.In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Morgan (yes, Morgan is solo because Andrea has the flu

If your ex is still controlling you and you keep reacting, explaining, or trying to keep the peace… you might be actively hurting your legal case without even realizing it.Because here's the thing: divorce doesn't cure controlling behavior—it often exposes it. And control doesn't always look loud. Sometimes it looks “polite.” Sometimes it looks like silence. Sometimes it looks like a thousand tiny moments that make your stomach drop.In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, attorney Morgan Stogsdill and comedian Andrea Rappaport break down what control looks like after separation, why it escalates, and the legal + emotional action steps to shut it down.And yes—there's also a story involving a tambourine, a fire-lit “happiness class,” and a man casually threatening everyone with a tombstone. (Welcome to the show.)What You'll Learn in This Episode✅ How control shows up during divorce (even when it's not obvious)Morgan explains that control can look like:Financial control: “I'll pay when I feel like it,” monitoring spending, moving goalpostsMicromanaging parenting and second-guessing everything you doWeaponized silence / delayed responses to make you spiralMaking you feel like you need permission for decisions you don't need permission for“Polite” manipulation disguised as “concern for the kids”Why control often escalates after separationAndrea explains the psychology: when someone loses access and power, they often pull harder—because control is how they regulate their discomfort.The dangerous legal issue most people miss: “splitting”Morgan explains how controlling behavior can drive a wedge between you and your attorney—making you doubt your lawyer, hold back details, or get pulled into the ex's narrative.That's not just stressful. It can derail your strategy and cost you serious money. The communication trap that keeps you stuckIf your nervous system is hijacked every time they text you, you'll default to the old pattern:ReactingOver-explainingTrying to smooth things overTrying to get them to “understand”Which gives them exactly what they want: access.The Tools That Help You Stop the Control1) Tighten the structure (legally + logistically)Morgan explains why vague agreements don't work with controlling people. Example of vague: “reasonable communication.” Problem: “reasonable” becomes a playground for manipulation.2) Reduce accessBecause (say it with us): control fades when access fades.That may mean:limiting communicationusing a parenting appnot responding to baitpushing...

Rushing a divorce can cost you money, leverage, and peace—especially if you're dating, listening to family “advice,” or skipping the right experts. In this episode, Morgan Stogsdill and Andrea Rappaport break down the most common divorce regrets and the smart, strategic moves to avoid them.In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Morgan and Andrea unpack the most common divorce regrets they see over and over again: the ones that quietly cost you money, complicate custody, drag out the process, and make you look back thinking… why did I do that?Get real divorce advice your lawyer may be too polite to share. We break down unpopular divorce opinions and practical divorce tips that can save you thousands of dollars in legal fees, reduce stress, and help you avoid costly mistakes. How Not to Suck at Divorce is the divorce podcast for people who want clarity, strategy, and supportFrom rushing because you've moved on romantically, to letting your dad become your “legal strategist,” to skipping experts like OurFamilyWizard because you're trying to save money—this is your highlight reel of what not to do (and what to do instead).And yes… Billy Bob Thornton and Angelina Jolie make an appearance. Because apparently six marriages is one way to earn a PhD in divorce.In this episode, we cover:The #1 regret: rushing your divorce and leaving money on the tableWhy “I want to be divorced by March” can backfire fastHow outdated financials and an old balance sheet can cost you thousandsWhy your new partner should not be part of the divorce “mischigas”The danger of letting family and friends influence legal decisionsHow well-meaning parents can accidentally run up your legal billWhen outside experts (forensic accountants, co-parenting tools, therapists) actually save you moneyWhy trying to “cheap out” can lead to a future court nightmareThe difference between fighting for what matters vs. fighting over balsamic vinegarHow to decide what's worth it (and what's just ego, fear, or control)Key Takeaways (Quick & Skimmable)1) Don't rush the process and leave money on the tableWhen you're desperate to be done, you cut corners. That's how people sign agreements with missing details, outdated account values, or unclear parenting language—then regret it later.Do this instead: Ask your attorney if your timeline is realistic, and if it is—map the steps from A to Z.2) Don't bring your new relationship into your divorce chaosYour new person may mean well, but they are not your lawyer—and emotionally, it can start poisoning the relationship fast.Do this instead: Process the divorce with your therapist, your support system, and your attorney—not your new partner.3) Don't let non-lawyers steer legal decisionsEven smart, loving parents can unintentionally derail the strategy—especially when they aren't in the day-to-day “trenches” of your case.Do

When your divorce is dragging because the other side won't respond, it can feel like psychological warfare—especially when kids and money are on the line. In this episode, Morgan Stogsdill and Andrea Rappaport break down what's actually happening when a divorce case stalls, how to tell the difference between normal delays and strategic stalling, and what to do next.You'll learn the practical legal steps attorneys use to create structure—like mediation deadlines, motions to compel, subpoenas, depositions, and discovery strategies—plus the mindset shifts that keep you from spiraling and spending thousands of dollars reacting emotionally. Bottom line: when the time is right, get aggressive—because talk is cheap.Stalling is one of the most common (and most infuriating) divorce experiences, and it happens for a few big reasons:They don't have their shit together (missing documents, incomplete financials, no affidavit, disorganized life)They think you'll panic and settle cheap just to end the painIt's a power play (silence = control, especially with high-conflict people)Their attorney is overwhelmed, under-resourced, or occasionally strategic (timing money events like bonuses, etc.)The good news: stalling isn't a dead end. It's a problem that can be solved with structure, strategy, and sometimes court pressure.The First Question to Ask Your LawyerBefore you go scorched earth, ask this exact question:“Is this delay normal… or is this strategic stalling?”Morgan explains that a good attorney can often tell you:whether the other lawyer is just chronically slow/unorganized, orwhether the other side is intentionally dragging things out to wear you down.These two scenarios require totally different responses.What Judges Respond To: Structure + DeadlinesStalled cases usually move when there's something real on the calendar:court datesmotion hearingstrial datesmediations with firm deadlinesMorgan's most practical advice:If nothing is moving, push for a trial date. Even if the first date doesn't “stick,” a real end date creates pressure—and pressure creates movement.Action Steps: What You Can Do When the Other Side Won't Respond1) Stop guessing. Get clarity.Tell your attorney you're frustrated and ask:Is this normal?What's the standard timeline in this jurisdiction?What steps do we take in order if they don't comply?At what point do we file something?This helps you avoid spending money “going aggressive” too early… only for the judge to give them another two...

If you're saying “my ex is a narcissist”… listen first.If you've spent more than five minutes on TikTok, Reddit, or Instagram, you've seen it everywhere: “My co-parent is a narcissist.” And we get why that label feels validating. It gives your pain a name.But here's the problem: labels don't carry weight in court — behavior does. And when you lead with a diagnosis you can't prove, you risk looking reactive, emotional, or unreliable in the one place where credibility matters most.In this episode, we're joined by two powerhouse custody attorneys — Kristen Holstrom and Samantha McBride (the Custody Queens) — to explain what actually helps you win: specific facts, consistent documentation, strong boundaries, and a strategy that keeps you from getting pulled into emotional warfare.What You'll Learn in This EpisodeWhy calling your ex a narcissist can backfire legally and emotionallyThe difference between traits vs. a true clinical diagnosis (and why it rarely shows up in court)What judges care about most in custody cases: co-parenting and facilitating the other parent's relationshipHow to build a case using patterns, timelines, and evidenceWhy social media is forever (even if you delete it)How co-parenting apps like OurFamilyWizard can protect you and create documentation“Chess, not checkers”: how to stop reacting and start controlling your side of the streetWhy custody evaluations can go sideways when you show up with labels instead of factsKey Takeaways (AKA: The stuff that saves you money and sanity)1) Labels feel good. Evidence wins cases.Courts don't decide custody based on “he's a narcissist.” They decide based on what happened, how often, and how it impacts the children.2) Your credibility is everything.If you sound like you're diagnosing your ex, you may unintentionally look like the unstable one — especially in high-stakes settings like custody evaluations.3) Social media can cost you custody time and settlement leverage.Posting, reposting, liking, or commenting on “narcissist” content can be used against you. Even deleted posts can come back via screenshots.4) Boundaries are strategy — not weakness.Tools like OurFamilyWizard don't mean you failed. They mean you're building guardrails and a paper trail.5) Power is preparation.When you're organized, strategic, and documenting the right things, you get your power back.Action Steps (Do this after you finish the episode)Drop the label. Keep the facts. Replace “He's a narcissist” with: “He missed 7 pickups in 30 days.”Build a timeline. Dates, times, missed exchanges, late pickups, medical info withheld, school info excluded.

One minute you feel strong, clear-headed, and relieved… and the next you're sobbing in your car wondering if you just destroyed your life. If you feel emotionally unrecognizable during divorce, you are not alone—and you're not “doing it wrong.”In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, attorney Morgan Stogsdill and comedian/marketing guru Andrea Rappaport break down the emotional rollercoaster of divorce—why it happens, why it's normal, and how letting emotions drive decisions can create legal and financial consequences you can't unwind.You'll learn how to adopt emotional neutrality (without becoming emotionless), why realistic expectations protect your sanity, and the exact do's and don'ts that help you stay grounded—especially when kids and co-parenting are involved.What You'll Learn in This EpisodeWhy divorce triggers “emotional whiplash” (relief, guilt, rage, panic, regret—sometimes all at once)The difference between feelings vs. facts in divorce decision-makingWhy emotional highs aren't the problem—expectations areWhy emotional lows don't mean you're making the wrong choiceWhat “emotional neutrality” actually means (and why it's self-preservation)How to ask your attorney for realistic expectations and a Plan BThe biggest mistakes people make when they're activated (and how to avoid them)Practical ways to regulate your nervous system and get off the rollercoaster(Practical Action Steps)If you're in the early stages of divorce—or you're already activated—here's what Andrea and Morgan want you to do:✅ 1) Adopt emotional neutrality“That meeting went well. Okay.”“That meeting didn't go well. Okay.” Neutrality is not numbness. It means your feelings are not in charge.✅ 2) Ask for realistic expectations (every time)When something goes well, ask your attorney:“What's a realistic expectation from here?”“What if this strategy doesn't work—what's our Plan B?”✅ 3) Don't make permanent decisions in temporary emotional statesMorgan's legal rule: if you're activated, you pause—not react.✅ 4) Stabilize with routinePredictable routines regulate your nervous system when your life feels unpredictable.✅ 5) Write it down—don't reactJournal the emotion, then bring it to your therapist (not your attorney). Your attorney is your legal guide—not your emotional support system.✅ 6) Choose ONE safe personAvoid oversharing with people who escalate you (you know who you are, “Tina from the bar”

If you haven't filed for divorce yet but you're spiraling, crying, rage-texting, and panic Googling how to leave your spouse...this episode is your pre-divorce game plan. Andrea walks you through the “invisible work” that protects you before you file: creating a private email, organizing finances, understanding monthly expenses, regulating emotions, interviewing attorneys strategically, protecting kids from adult stress, and avoiding common mistakes that can cost you money (and peace).This is not about being sneaky—it's about being smart.Key Topics CoveredWhat to do before you file for divorceHow to create a private email and start organizing information safelyThe pre-divorce financial lists you need (accounts, debts, passwords, credit score)Why tracking monthly expenses now saves you later (hello, financial affidavits)How to stay emotionally neutral and avoid the “high-high / low-low” spiralHow to interview attorneys and choose the right “business partner”What NOT to do before filing (spending changes, threats, escalating conflict)How to protect your kids (routines, boundaries, therapy support)Bonus: writing down your “why” and what you want on the other sidePractical Pre-Divorce Action Steps (Checklist)Do these before you file:Create a new private email address (separate from anything your spouse can access).Start a Google Doc/Sheet to track:All known accounts (banking, retirement, investments, credit cards, loans)Unknowns you need to identify (accounts you suspect exist, balances you don't know)Passwords/access issuesPull your credit score and document it.List all monthly expenses (mortgage/rent, utilities, insurance, subscriptions, kids' expenses, activities, childcare).Interview at least 3 attorneys before hiring—choose strategy, not vibes.Keep household routines stable (especially if you have kids).Don't threaten, don't escalate, and don't make sudden spending changes.Get a hobby/outlet (something healthy + consistent).Consider lining up a therapist for your kids if you expect the process to hit them hard.

Support and survival tools for one of the hardest days of divorce.“When the house is quiet, the feelings are loud.” If you're facing Christmas (or any holiday) without your kids, this episode is your survival guide.Andrea Rappaport and Morgan Stogsdill talk about one of the most painful parts of divorce: the first (or early) holidays when your children are with the other parent. The anxiety can start days in advance, and the empty-house silence can feel unbearable — but Morgan reminds listeners that this is usually a moment in time, not a sign that you made the wrong decision about divorce.You'll hear real, practical tools for getting through the day hour-by-hour (doggy paddling counts), what not to do when you're spiraling, and why “effective support” matters. You'll also get tips for keeping conversations with your kids positive, avoiding emotional landmines, and making a plan that helps you survive the holiday — without shame, stalking your ex, or numbing yourself into oblivion.In This Episode, We CoverWhy holidays without your kids after divorce can feel like a crisis momentHow to tell the difference between grief and a “divorce decision”Why “two truths can coexist” (you can be doing the right thing and it can hurt)The best coping strategies for surviving Christmas without your childrenWhat not to do: social media spirals, isolating, stalking your ex, emotional decisionsWhy moving your body helps your mind calm down (“an exhausted body is a calm mind”)How to use community support (even anonymously) when you feel aloneHow to talk to your kids without making them feel responsible for your emotionsCo-parenting communication tools (and why OurFamilyWizard helps when rules aren't followed)Morgan's “Chad” story: how making a plan helped a parent survive the first Christmas aloneWhy leaving the house is the #1 non-negotiable tool (even a drive-through counts)Key Takeaways1) This is normal — it doesn't mean you're weakAndrea says it best: no amount of self-care candles fixes the fact that your kids aren't here. Missing your children doesn't mean you're failing. It means you're hurting.2) Don't make big decisions in a holiday spiralMorgan sees clients question everything during the holidays — but she rarely sees people truly halt divorce because of it. These feelings are real, but they're usually temporary.3) Doggy paddling is still progressYou don't have to “thrive” today. You just have to get through it. Hour-by-hour is allowed.Holiday Survival Plan (From the Episode)Here's your breakdown, straight from Morgan + Andrea:✅ 1. Move your body (or at least get moving)Walk outside if you canIf it's cold: use a short YouTube workout videoIf...

If you're overwhelmed, exhausted, pretending you're fine, or Googling “How to pretend I'm not miserable in my marriage and ruin Christmas?” this conversation is exactly what you need.December hits differently when your marriage feels heavy. In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Morgan and Andrea break down why the holidays can push you into emotional overdrive and why that does not automatically mean you need to file for divorce today. From understanding the difference between a crisis moment vs. a clarity moment, to learning the now-iconic Pantry Party Plan, this episode gives you practical strategies to stay grounded, calm, and emotionally safe during one of the most triggering months of the year.You're Not Weak — You're OverwhelmedAndrea and Morgan open the episode with a message so many listeners need to hear: You're going to be okay. Holiday stress isn't proof that your marriage suddenly collapsed — it's proof that December is a pressure cooker.Friends. Traditions. Money. Kids. Expectations. Fake joy. Your nervous system is maxed out, and that's normal.A crisis moment feels like:wanting to flee your househiding in the pantrycrying out of nowherefantasizing about driving away and not coming backpanic bubbling in your chestThese moments do NOT require divorce decisions.A clarity moment feels like:“Yep… this marriage still doesn't feel right.”annoyance, sadness, or distancenoticing repeating patternscalm recognition of misalignmentClarity = information Crisis = not the time to actThis distinction alone saves listeners from major mistakes.December will give you a moment where you need to step away — mentally or physically. Andrea introduces the Pantry Party Plan, a simple, strategic grounding tool to stop panic from running the show.Step 1: Set a timer.3 minutes → small wobble5–7 minutes → medium crisis10 minutes → major meltdown preventionStep 2: Exhale first. Panic makes it nearly impossible to breathe in. So start by pushing out all your air, then allow the inhale.Step 3: Add your mantra. Pick something that makes you laugh, relax, or feel powerful. Andrea's? “Bitches ain't shit.” Find one that works for YOU.

This episode is especially helpful if you're searching for:How to prepare for divorce without filingEmotional separation before divorceHow to survive the holidays before divorceWhat is a silent divorce?How to tell your spouse you want a divorce (but not yet)Divorce timing strategyHow to protect kids during separationIf you're quietly planning your next chapter, this one is for you.In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Morgan Stogsdill and Andrea Rappaport dive deep into the concept of the silent divorce: the unofficial, emotional separation that happens when one or both partners know the marriage is ending, but they're not ready to officially file yet.If you're feeling emotionally checked out, unsure of timing, scared of disrupting the holidays, or stuck in a “limbo marriage,” this episode helps you understand what a silent divorce is, the signs you're in one, and most importantly : what to DO about it.Andrea and Morgan break down two scenarios:1️⃣ When both spouses know divorce is coming but are waiting.2️⃣ When only one spouse knows, and the other has no idea.You'll hear practical guidance, emotional support, and legal strategy to help you prepare without panicking, protect your kids, and avoid major divorce mistakes.Plus, you'll hear hysterical QuickBooks chaos, psychic readings on Oak Street, and a glamorous side quest to the Waldorf Astoria. Classic HNTSAD energy.What You'll Learn in This Episode:✔ What a “silent divorce” actually isHow emotional withdrawal and parallel living become the early stage of divorce long before filing papers.✔ Signs you're in a silent divorce– Minimal communication– Loss of intimacy– Roommate vibes– Emotional loneliness– Avoidance of conflict– No partnership energy✔ If both partners know divorce is comingDo this:Keep things predictableSet temporary boundaries (separate bedrooms, shared spaces, routines)Treat this time as preparation, not limbo✔ If only you know divorce is comingDo this:Understand your secrecy is not deceit — it's strategyConfide in only ONE trusted personStart preparing emotionally, financially, and legally✔ Why timing matters (especially during the holidays)Morgan explains why the holiday season is almost never the right moment for a divorce announcement — legally, strategically, and emotionally.Andrea shares how to survive the “holiday performance pressure” without pretending everything is perfect.✔ How to handle parenting when you're silently divorcingSimple scripts, routines, and communication tips to help keep kids grounded and minimize emotional fallout.✔ The #1 thing that reduces divorce fear: preparationFear = confusionConfidence = clarityThis episode shows you how to take the first steps safely, smartly, and privately.“A silent divorce is not a selfish move — it is a strategic move.”“You don't have to file today to...

Emotions don't win in divorce court — facts and strategy do. In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, divorce attorney Morgan Stogsdill and comedian-turned-divorce-advocate Andrea Rappaport walk you through how to negotiate your divorce like a pro using their THINK framework:T – Take the emotion out of itH – Have realistic non-negotiablesI – Identify their pain pointsN – Negotiate from facts, not feelingsK – Keep your BATNA in mind (your best backup plan)If the idea of mediation, settlement conferences, or sitting across from your ex makes you want to hide in a hole, this episode is your game plan. You'll learn how to work with your lawyer instead of against them, what's actually realistic to ask for, how to use what you know about your ex as legal leverage, and why clinging to your emotions can cost you big money, time, and sanity.Whether you're just starting your divorce, heading into mediation, or trying to wrap up a long, exhausting case, this episode will help you stay out of court if possible, save money, and make smarter decisions for you and your kids.In This Episode, We Cover:Why “facts win” in divorceHow emotions spiral, stories get twisted, and why judges and mediators care about documents, numbers, and timelines — not drama.T = Take the emotion out of itAndrea's “Ziploc bag and freeze your feelings like a 2018 pot roast” strategyHow to notice when you're triggered in mediation (hello, Brenda and Chad)What to say to your lawyer when you're about to lose it — and when to zip it and let them speak for youH = Have realistic non-negotiablesThe difference between must-haves and nice-to-havesWhy “I want 100% custody” usually isn't realisticHow to decide which holidays, financial terms, or parenting provisions are truly non-negotiableMorgan's example of a client who refused to accept any end date on maintenance — and why that was realistic in her caseI = Identify their pain pointsHow to “play detective” and figure out what your ex really cares about (ego, money, reputation, time with kids, a specific property, etc.)Morgan's story of using a husband's obsession with a particular property to get her client more money on the balance sheetWhy negotiation is less about what you want and more about what motivates themN = Negotiate from facts, not feelingsWhy you should write your facts in clear bullet points, not emotional paragraphsHow “friend of the family” promises and verbal side deals (hi, John

If you want the real truth about divorce, buckle up. In this episode, Andrea and Morgan deliver the unfiltered, uncomfortable, absolutely-necessary truths your lawyer wishes you understood…but might be too afraid to say directly.From how the legal system really works to why your expectations are sabotaging your sanity, this episode is the wake-up call you need if you're navigating divorce, co-parenting, or even just preparing for that dreaded Thanksgiving dinner with your very opinionated family.This one is honest, hilarious, a little unhinged (hi Andrea), and packed with strategic guidance that will help you avoid major mistakes.What You'll Learn in This Episode1. Nothing in divorce is “fair” — and why that mindset will destroy youThe legal system doesn't care about fairness. It's designed for equitable distribution, not emotional justice.2. Stop expecting the legal system to deliver revengeMorgan breaks down why the courts aren't built to punish your ex — even when you deeply (and correctly) feel they deserve it.3. Lower your expectations, raise your strategyWhy your expectations are often unrealistic, what “the range” actually means in divorce outcomes, and how lowering your expectations protects your mental health and your wallet.4. Know the law where you actually live (yes, geography matters)Andrea reminds listeners that different states = different standards. Don't guess. Don't Google. Ask your lawyer to explain what's realistic where YOU live.5. Stop focusing on your ex — focus on YOUYour ex won't suddenly transform into a better human mid-divorce. (Brenda does not become Glinda.) Focus on your responses, your regulation, and your strategy.6. Backseat drivers & Thanksgiving disastersHow to shut down intrusive family commentary (“That's not fair!”) and exactly what to say at the holiday table when everyone wants details about your divorce.7. Your kids will hurt — but they will be OKAndrea shares her own emotional story about her first Thanksgiving without her kids, and how focusing on what she could control changed everything.8. Do NOT fire off emotional textsUse a communication app like OurFamilyWizard to protect yourself legally and emotionally — especially with the ToneMeter feature that stops you from sending something you'll regret. Hard Truths from This EpisodeThe legal system is not designed to make you feel better.Your ex won't change just because you'd like them to.Your attorney isn't your therapist.Fairness is not a legal standard. Equitable is.Focusing on your ex keeps you stuck.You are responsible for asking your lawyer the right questions.Your expectations need to be realistic, not emotional.⏱️ Timestamps00:00 — Hard truth: nothing about divorce is “fair”00:05 — Why the legal system will NOT give you justice or revenge00:21 — Show intro01:12 — Morgan's chaotic morning + the freight elevator monkey situation02:38 — Why a small client gift boosted the entire legal team03:26 — Andrea's shocking weekend text to Morgan04:30 — Kim Kardashian's “All's Fair”: Andrea's surprising review05:36 — HARD TRUTH #1: Lower your expectations08:43 — How to “bet on yourself” when everything feels...

If you're in the middle of a divorce and constantly asking yourself “WHY is this happening?”, this episode is about to save you money, misery, and a whole lot of emotional tailspinning.This week, Andrea and Morgan dive deep into the question that can either move your divorce forward—or completely derail you: WHY.When is asking why strategic?And when is it a waste of attorney fees (or your sanity)?To help break it all down, we're joined by Cary J. Mogerman, one of the most respected divorce attorneys in Missouri. Cary brings decades of experience, a wise-professor vibe, and a no-nonsense approach to helping clients understand the process clearly, calmly, and strategically.Cary J. Mogerman is one of the most highly regarded divorce lawyers in Missouri and wellknown to other top family law attorneys throughout the United States. He is a Fellow of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers and in 2022, served as President of the national organization. He is a Diplomate of the American College of Family Trial Lawyers, an invitation-only assemblage limited to 100 members throughout the United States; Cary is a member of its executive committee. He is a Fellow of the International Academy of Family Lawyers.https://carmodymacdonald.com/people/cary-j-mogerman/In this conversation, you'll learn:Why “Why is this happening to me?” is a therapist question—not a lawyer questionHow to ask WHY in a way that strengthens your strategy, saves money, and reveals leverageWhy understanding your spouse's emotional triggers can completely shift mediationThe one communication mistake clients make that drives lawyers insaneWhen your lawyer should break things down in plain languageWhy slowing down your responses (yes, YOU) will prevent disasterHow to stop burning money on the wrong kind of questionsWhy the legal process feels slow, confusing, and unfair—and what to do with thatHow to advocate for yourself without apologizingPLUS: Andrea reveals a HUGE co-parenting milestone (Shabbat dinner with the ex… yes, seriously), and Morgan talks through why listeners were so triggered by last week's episode—and what that means for your own healing.This is the episode you NEED if you're negotiating, mediating, litigating, co-parenting, or just trying to get through the day without rage-texting your ex or panic-emailing your lawyer.Key Takeaways1. Not All “Why” Questions Are Helpful“Why is this happening?”“Why is he acting like this?”“Why is she being crazy?”These are human questions—but not legal ones.They belong in therapy, not in your billable hours.2. Strategic Why's Are POWERFULWhy are we filing this motion?Why is this our mediation plan?Why is my ex reacting this strongly to ONE issue?These help your attorney build a smarter, more effective case.3. Your Lawyer Should Explain Everything in Plain LanguageCary breaks down why attorneys NEED to simplify their communication—and why you should never feel embarrassed asking:“Can you explain that in normal-person English?”4. Your Spouse's Triggers = Your StrategyYou know your spouse better than anyone.Your insights help your attorney negotiate smarter and faster.5. Don't Make Split-Second Decisions During Emotional SurgesYou're not being chased by a bear.Slow down. Breathe. Don't respond immediately.You can literally save thousands of

If the idea of “healthy co-parenting” makes you want to throw your phone, this episode is for you. Comedian Andrea Rappaport and powerhouse family law attorney Morgan Stogsdill sit down with co-parenting expert and bestselling author Jon Bassford, JD, MBA, CAE, whose real-life story of turning a hostile divorce into a functional, daily-communication co-parenting dynamic will shock you—in the best way.Jon's new book, The Co-Parenting Secret: It's Not About You, doesn't sugarcoat the difficulty or pretend everyone can be friends. Instead, it offers a revolutionary reframe: stop thinking about "my time" or "their time" and start thinking about your child's life. It challenges the toxic win/lose mindset and offers a new model: collaborative parenting focused on emotional safety, communication, and showing up for your kid every time.His message resonates with divorced, separated, dating-but-split, or any parents navigating two-home situations, because it's not about having a friendly ex or following a perfect plan. It's about making intentional choices that prioritize your kids above your own convenience, preferences, or pride.Jon is also a TEDx speaker, CEO of Lateral Solutions, and brings 20+ years of executive leadership to his work but this book isn't about applying business frameworks to family life. It's about the messy, honest journey of getting co-parenting right after getting it wrong.Jon didn't start with unicorns and rainbows. There was resentment, trash-talking, incompatible living… the whole messy thing. But he learned the intentional steps that transform co-parenting from a battleground into actual teamwork. In this episode, we dig into what co-parenting looks like when it's real, what to do when your ex refuses to cooperate, and why saying “Of course” instead of “Fine” could change literally everything.Whether you're co-parenting with a narcissist, parallel-parenting with someone who refuses to meet you halfway, or just trying to not lose your mind over a simple schedule swap, you'll walk away with mindset shifts, scripts, action steps, and legal strategy you can use TODAY.Key Takeaways1. Co-Parenting Doesn't Start Perfect — It EvolvesJon and his ex did not get along at first. There was hostility, miscommunication, and resentment — just like what most people experience. Progress happens in baby steps, not giant leaps.2. Saying “Of Course” Isn't About Your Ex — It's About YouYour instinct is to say “no.” That's human. But dropping your guard and choosing calm over chaos immediately changes your internal state. Less spiraling, less anger, less anxiety.3. Strategic Co-Parenting Helps You in CourtMorgan breaks down how tools like Our Family Wizard create evidence showing you are the reasonable parent. If a judge ever needs to get involved, this matters A LOT.4. Letting Go Isn't Weak — It's SurvivalJon explains how resentment destroys your peace more than it punishes your ex. Letting go isn't excusing behavior — it's freeing yourself.5. Your Why Keeps You GroundedCo-parenting gets easier when you know why you're doing it: stability for your child, emotional peace for yourself, and a healthier long-term dynamic.Timestamps00:00 — Why “our natural reaction is to say no”00:17 — Morgan explains the legal strategy behind saying “yes”00:31 — What saying “of course” does for you00:57 — Andrea on isolation during divorce01:12 — Why connecting with community matters01:27 — Truly Engaging partnership + holiday card...

This week, Morgan and Andrea flip the script and want you to SUCK at divorce. Yep, you read that right. Learn how to Set aside your feelings, Utilize experts, Calm your nervous system, and Know the facts: a game-changing framework that'll help you make better decisions (and fewer expensive mistakes) during your divorce.From cortisol spikes to co-parenting apps, nervous-system hacks, and even Amazon finds that actually don't suck, the girls cover it all ...with the perfect blend of legal insight, emotional honesty, and wine-soaked humor you've come to expect.

You're almost done… which is exactly when smart people make expensive mistakes. In this punchy, practical episode, Andrea and Morgan tackle “divorce senioritis”, that end-of-process urge to rush, stop reading, or pick last-minute fights, and lay out the three biggest mistakes people make in the final stretch of divorce (plus how to avoid them without losing your mind or your money).✅ What You'll Learn (Skimmable Takeaways)1.Don't glaze over “small” document editsTiny word shifts like “may / shall / will” can flip legal meaning.Action: Print the latest draft, run a Word Compare, read line-by-line for one quiet hour, and send your written questions to your attorney.Ask explicitly: “Do these changes affect any earlier documents (e.g., parenting or financial agreements)?”2.Stop the 11th-hour nickel-and-dimingAdding minor demands late (or “saving money” by not calling your lawyer) can drag negotiations and raise fees.Action: Bullet the 5–8 items bugging you; ask your lawyer:“Which of these have a realistic chance of success and are worth pushing to get us across the finish line?”Big picture > petty wins.3.Prepare for the mixed emotions after finalizationRelief, sadness, anticlimax—it's normal to feel the opposite of what you expected.Action: Don't over-schedule a celebration that day. Give yourself space to process, rest, and recalibrate.

The first 30 days of divorce can feel like a tornado: unpredictable, emotional, and expensive if you're not careful. In this episode, hosts Andrea Rappaport (comedian + marketing guru) and Morgan L. Stogsdill (family law powerhouse) share the top three mistakes people make in the early days of divorce, and how to avoid them.From texting your ex when you're angry, to oversharing on social media, to thinking you can “speed through” the legal process. This episode breaks down the emotional, financial, and legal landmines that derail people again and again. You'll laugh, cringe, and probably see yourself in a few of these moments (we've all been there).If you're newly separated or about to file, this episode is your permission slip to pause, breathe, and get smart.

When divorce gets messy, who gets the details, your best friend or your lawyer? Comedian Andrea Rappaport and family-law powerhouse Morgan L. Stogsdill break down exactly what belongs in your attorney's inbox (strategy, facts, timelines, negotiations) and what belongs at brunch (feelings, venting, support). You'll learn how to communicate efficiently to save money, protect leverage, and avoid sabotaging your case, plus how to choose the right friends to lean on without getting “keyed up and liquored up” and firing off expensive emails. Practical scripts, pattern-tracking tips, and a reminder that attorney-client conversations are confidential.Negotiating without lawyers? Tell your attorney first.What to report: “We've been negotiating directly,” plus the round-by-round back-and-forth (Offer → Counter → Counter). This preserves leverage and prevents your lawyer from being blindsided by opposing counsel's “but the parties already agreed…” (≈ 11:00–12:31).Use cost-effective communications.Prefer a short bullet-point email or a 15-minute call to recap facts; end with a clear question (“Is this relevant / do you need more?”) so your lawyer can triage quickly (≈ 12:06–12:41, 16:45–17:45).Medical issues can change your financial outcome.Tell your lawyer the bottom line (e.g., “Follow-up testing showed I had a stroke; next steps include X”). This can impact maintenance/alimony, health-insurance planning, and future medical costs—don't hold back due to privacy; it's confidential (≈ 6:01–8:54).Kids & custody: document patterns, not one-offs.Track behaviors over time (timeline with dates) and escalate only when a pattern emerges. Use a co-parenting app (e.g., OurFamilyWizard) so records are centralized and tamper-resistant (≈ 18:59–20:29, 36:13–36:49).Do not crowd-source legal strategy or finances to friends.Don't pass around your financial affidavit/balance sheet or share strategy; non-experts amp anxiety and can trigger costly re-work by your legal team (≈ 24:07–26:45).Avoid “keyed up + liquored up” emails.Late-night venting to your lawyer = billable time and often requires follow-up to unwind, costing hundreds for nothing actionable (≈ 24:49–25:48).Attorney-client privilege & scope.Your lawyer needs high-level facts and actionable timelines; save feelings for friends/therapist unless they reveal patterns relevant to the case (≈ 4:47–5:37, 18:59–19:46).00:00 Why lawyers need the facts; negotiating w/o attorneys03:38 Attorney vs. friend: who gets what06:01 Medical issues that change financial outcomes09:35 Private negotiations: how to report rounds + counters12:06 Bullets vs. calls; add a question to every email16:45 Kids' issues: patterns, timelines, apps21:16 Choosing the right friend (avoid “Sally Big Mouth” & hidden agendas)24:07 Don't show friends your balance sheet; cost traps32:56 Community + handwritten cards (sponsor segment)41:19 Marathon mindset + resources/community“Your attorney protects your case; your friend protects your heart—don't confuse the two.”“If you're negotiating directly, tell us—and give...

Money talk can make anyone want to hide under a blanket (or a naked sweater

Do you feel like your life is on pause until your divorce is finalized? You're not alone, but you don't have to wait for papers, court dates, or signatures to start moving forward.In this candid (and hilarious) episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, comedian Andrea Rappaport and top family law attorney Morgan Stogsdill share the real truth about life “in limbo” during divorce and how to reclaim your sense of control today.What You'll Learn:Why waiting for “someday” is the biggest trap people fall into during divorce.The difference between what's legally on hold vs. what's emotionally self-imposed Practical ways to feel progress when everything seems stuck: routines, and community support.Andrea's relatable (and ridiculous) humor about skincare, salmon sperm masks, and why she hates the word healing.Morgan's legal tips on dating, parenting schedules, and even buying a house before your divorce is final.A game called “I Give You Permission” where the hosts hand out real-life permission slips to help you breathe easier and take action now

In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea Rappaport and Morgan Stogsdill get into the often-overlooked connection between divorce and grief. Divorce can intensify feelings of loss, loneliness, and emotional pain, making it crucial to find healthy coping mechanisms, community support, and tools for personal growth.The hosts explore why grief isn't just about the death of a loved one—it's also a natural and valid response to the end of a marriage or relationship. They break down common misconceptions about grief, the importance of mental health support, and how to create grief-informed workplaces that help employees heal. You'll also hear actionable strategies for emotional healing, including creative outlets and building supportive communities.If you're navigating the complex emotions of divorce and grief this conversation offers both compassion and practical guidance.What you'll learn:Divorce is grief: Ending a marriage is a major life loss that requires emotional healing.Holidays amplify emotions: Loneliness and sadness often increase during seasonal gatherings.Grief is not linear: It may show up as anger, sadness, guilt, or even relief.Misconceptions hurt healing: Ignoring or minimizing grief can slow down recovery.Community matters: Leaning on support groups, friends, and family can ease the burden.No set timeline: Everyone's grieving process looks different.Workplace awareness: Grief-informed policies benefit both employees and employers.Creative outlets help: Journaling, art, and other self-expressive activities can be powerful coping tools.Validation is healing: Recognizing all forms of grief encourages healthier mental health.You're not alone: Many people share similar struggles and experiences.Rebecca Feinglos (pronounced fine-gloss) is a certified grief support specialist and founder of Grieve Leave. Rebecca founded Grieve Leave in 2021 as a way to document her experience on a year-long grief sabbatical, as a way to process her own grief and loss— she lost her mother in her teens, her father in 2020, and her marriage in a drawn-out divorce. Grieve Leave has grown into a community of 25,000 that provides tangible takeaways, resources, and a healthy dose of humor, creating an entire movement around taking intentional time to grieve. Rebecca has been featured in LA Times, Fortune, TIME,

When you're in the middle of a divorce, one of the most important decisions you'll ever make is hiring the right attorney. In this powerhouse episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, hosts Andrea Rappaport (comedian) and Morgan Stogsdill (head of family law at the largest firm in the U.S.) sit down in Los Angeles with celebrity divorce attorneys and judges to uncover what really matters when it comes to navigating high-stakes cases.From avoiding the “shark attorney” trap to protecting your kids and learning how to negotiate like a pro, this episode is full of real talk and insider advice. Oh, and yes—we spill some behind-the-scenes tea from our LA adventure, hotel fiascos included.What You'll Learn in This Episode

Do you want your lawyer to actually call you back, explain the plan, and move your case forward? It's not magic...it's how you communicate and collaborate.In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea and Morgan break down what puts you on your divorce attorney's priority list (and what lands you on the “not today” pile). You'll hear real stories, simple scripts, and clear next steps to get faster responses, clearer strategy, and better service...without spending more than you need to.Questions answered in this episode:How do I get on my divorce attorney's good side so my case stays a priority?What is a realistic email or call response time from a divorce lawyer?How should I ask for clearer next steps when I don't understand legal emails?When is it time to get a second opinion or switch divorce attorneys—and how do I do it?What behaviors instantly sour attorney-client relationships (and what to do instead)?Listen in for the exact do's and don'ts, respectful scripts that work, and a refreshingly honest take on getting the support you deserve during divorce.Resources & Links Mentioned in This Episode:Need a thoughtful way to connect? Shop our curated greeting cards here.Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major (and expensive) mistakes. Learn more here.Our Family Wizard is a fantastic resource for anyone navigating co-parenting. Check out our partnership here.Friends, slide into our DMs—we love hearing from you. We're always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this, and we've got you.Instagram: @hownottosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

When an affair is part of your divorce story, it can feel like there's no justice...especially in a no-fault state. In this candid, funny-but-serious conversation, Andrea and Morgan break down what you can control: your money, your mindset, and your parenting decisions. They explain how dissipation (spending marital funds on a third party) might matter, when it's worth digging into records, what to ask your lawyer, and why protecting your mental health (and your kids) is the real win. You'll also hear how new partners or messy situations (hello, “au pair drama”) can affect parenting time and how to keep your own behavior from hurting your case.What You'll Learn:What a no-fault divorce actually means for affairsHow spending money on someone else can affect your caseA simple way to ask your lawyer about looking into dissipation without overspendingWhy protecting your mental health matters more than “justice”How new partners or messy situations can impact parenting timeOur Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

When you're stuck wondering if you should stay married or finally move forward with a divorce, the decision feels impossible. In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea and Morgan get real about how to weigh your options—emotionally and practically—so you can stop spinning in circles and start finding clarity.They share a powerful acronym to help you evaluate your marriage, plus the exact logistical steps you should take if divorce might be on your horizon. From emotional check-ins to financial prep, you'll walk away knowing what questions to ask and what to do next.Questions answered in this episode:How do you know if it's really your marriage—or just outside stress—making you unhappy?What is the TALK acronym and how can it help you evaluate your relationship?Why is therapy (with a professional, not a friend) a critical first step?What does “attunement” actually mean in a marriage, and why does it matter?How can laughter and levity show you the health of your relationship?Why do you need to understand the divorce process before making a decision?What financial steps should you take if you're not sure whether to divorce?How does timing (holidays, business cycles, even illness) affect the right moment to file?What should you know about custody laws in your state before deciding?How do you know if you're mentally strong enough to start the divorce process?Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Let's face it—back to school hits different when you're divorced… and especially when you're the one stuck writing 40 thank-you notes from a six-year-old who can barely write his name.In this episode, Andrea and Morgan are tackling two of the most unhinged yet relatable parenting hurdles:

Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Andrea and Morgan talk with Laura Richards, host of That's Where I'm At podcast, about navigating divorce when abuse is part of the marriage. Laura shares her story of leaving a relationship that looked perfect from the outside but was filled with covert control, manipulation, and emotional harm behind closed doors. Alongside Laura's experience, Andrea and Morgan offer practical and legal guidance for protecting yourself during this challenging time.In this episode, you'll learn:How to identify and safeguard important items, financial records, valuables, and sentimental possessions before they can be taken or hidden.The importance of creating a legally sound safety plan for yourself and your children, even if the abuse has never been physical.Why you should expect the early stages of divorce to be the most difficult, and how to prepare mentally and emotionally for that period.How control can shift during divorce and the subtle ways an ex may try to manipulate or intimidate you.Why having your own attorney matters, even if mediation feels amicable.The role of supportive communities, therapy, and trusted resources in rebuilding your confidence and moving forward.Connect with Laura:Website: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/Podcast: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/episodes/Instagram: @thatswhereimatpodcastOur Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Abuse doesn't always leave visible scars. If you're in a marriage where your every move is controlled; whether it's how you spend money, where you go, or who you see, you may be experiencing abuse without realizing it.In this episode, we're giving you the 3 critical steps to take before you leave an abusive marriage, straight from a divorce lawyer's perspective. Then, you'll hear a riveting, eye-opening conversation with Dr. Nadine Macaluso—therapist, trauma-bond expert, and former wife of Jordan Belfort, the infamous “Wolf of Wall Street.”Dr. Nadine shares:How coercive control and trauma bonds keep people trappedThe truth about love bombing, cognitive dissonance, and the cycle of abuseWhat really happened behind the Hollywood portrayal of her marriageHow she rebuilt her life, earned her doctorate, and now helps others break freeWhether your situation mirrors hers or not, the insight and strategies in this episode could save you time, money, and possibly your safety.Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck20Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

In today's episode, Andrea sits down (sans Morgan! She's out of the country!) to drop some real talk about the hard truths of divorce that no one wants to hear...but everyone needs to. From AI misinformation to expensive attorney mistakes, high-conflict communication, and the emotional fallout of lost friendships, this episode delivers clarity and comfort for anyone navigating the messy middle of divorce.As always...Absolutely NO fluff. No filter. Just the truth. And a whole lot of support.What You'll Learn:Why you should NEVER EVER use Chat GPT for divorce adviceHow to stop chasing “fair” and start playing smartWhat to ask your lawyer before litigation (and how to prep your mindset)Why calming your nervous system is the most powerful legal tool you haveHow to protect your wallet when communicating with your attorneyWhat to do when your friendships shift during your divorceMentioned Episodes:How to Prepare for a Divorce Battle with Mia PoppeAI, ChatGPT, and Divorce: What You Need to Know with Steven BradleyOur Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck20Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

AI might be your late-night bestie, but should it be your divorce attorney? In this candid and insightful episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Morgan and Andrea welcome back crowd-favorite and former FBI agent Steven Bradley aka the Tech Cowboy to bust myths, deliver tough truths, and provide essential clarity around using AI like ChatGPT during divorce. From legal hallucinations to cringeworthy court moments, this episode will change how you think about AI's role in your case (and possibly your life). Tune in to learn how to use these tools wisely without risking your custody case, or your dignity.What You'll Learn:Why ChatGPT is not designed for divorce or legal advice, and how it can backfireWhat “AI hallucinations” are and why they matter in courtHow Our Family Wizard's ToneMeter AI actually protects youSimple rules for using AI safely (and legally) during divorceThe difference between closed AI and open AI and why it matters for your caseQuestions Answered in This Episode:Can ChatGPT really help you with your divorce?Why is it risky to input personal info into open AI tools?What's the legal fallout of using AI-generated legal documents in court?How can co-parents use AI responsibly when emotions are high?Is there any safe way to get help from AI during divorce?Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

In this powerhouse episode, Andrea and Morgan welcome powerhouse attorney and metaphysical strategist Mia Poppe to help listeners emotionally and mentally prepare for the courtroom. Mia shares her toolkit for staying grounded during the most difficult moments of divorce—especially when “divorce psychosis” sets in. This raw, honest, and practical episode is packed with real-life strategies for surviving and thriving through litigation.What You'll Learn:What “divorce psychosis” is and why it's a temporary but very real stateHow to protect your peace when litigation gets nastyTactical steps to handle inflammatory messages from opposing counselWhy emotional intelligence matters more than money in courtHow meditation and mindset work can transform your case and your lifeOur Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

In this episode of How Not To Suck At Divorce, Heather McGinley, Emmy award-winning author and founder of The Happily Never After, shares her powerful story of growing up in a fundamentalist Christian family with 21 siblings and how her unconventional upbringing shaped her approach to relationships and divorce. She discusses the mistakes she made during her divorce process, including not interviewing multiple attorneys and failing to file for temporary support, while offering hope that life's most difficult endings can lead to beautiful new beginnings.What You'll HearHeather's shocking revelation about growing up as the eldest of many children in a "quiverfull" fundamentalist Christian household (hit play to find out HOW many siblings

Fear. It's the uninvited guest in every divorce and today, we're dragging it into the light. Andrea and Morgan sit down with Crazy Ex-Wives Club host Erica Bennett, whose own divorce journey turned from heartbreak and confusion into a masterclass in emotional self-preservation. Erica shares how fear nearly derailed her decisions, how she clawed back her confidence, and why your fear is lying to you. From psychic readings to the art of “future tripping,” this episode is packed with hard truths, solid strategies, and a big reminder that you are not alone in the chaos.What you'll learn: • Why fear is a terrible advisor during divorce • How to identify fear-based thinking before it tanks your decisions • The problem with “future tripping” and how to stop it • Tips to reset your nervous system when you're spiraling • What really happens during trial separations (and why they often backfire) • The emotional cost of being “too nice” during divorce • How to keep your kids at the center and not the middle of co-parenting • Tools for managing communication when your ex checks out • Why shared custody must come with accountability • How Erica rebuilt her life and happiness post-divorceOur Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Andrea and Morgan are diving deep into the emotional rollercoaster of pre-divorce decisions, from trial separations and nesting, to financial agreements and moving out. With personal stories, expert legal insight, and a healthy dose of humor, this episode is a must-listen for anyone standing at the edge of a marital crossroads. Whether you're considering divorce or simply feeling unsettled, this episode will help you think three steps ahead and avoid the most common (and very costly) mistakes.What you'll learn:Why trial separations may backfire (especially if kids are involved)The pros and serious cons of nesting during separationHow moving out early can hurt your case without proper legal strategyWhy unofficial financial deals are a huge red flagWhat to do instead: safe, strategic first moves to protect yourselfOur Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

When manipulation sneaks into your divorce, it's not just annoying, it's super dangerous. In this candid episode, Andrea and Morgan teach you how to spot the most common manipulation tactics used before and during divorce, and how to stop falling for them. With the unforgettable acronym WTF (Want, Three Steps Ahead, Facts), they walk you through real scenarios, including guilt-tripping about the kids, controlling family finances, and “let's not use lawyers” setups. Plus, Andrea shares a personal story that inspired the entire conversation complete with a tribute to her late grandmother, the original queen of no-BS.What you'll learn:The WTF method: Want, Three Steps Ahead, and FactsHow pre-divorce manipulation keeps you stuck (and what to do)Why “we don't need lawyers” is a massive red flagGuilt tactics involving kids, family, and moneyHow to shut down drama without escalating conflictThe emotional and financial cost of being reactiveHow to think like a chess player, not a punching bagOur Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mediation doesn't have to suck—but walking in unprepared absolutely does. In this solo power-packed episode, Andrea and Morgan deliver the exact roadmap you need before entering mediation. Whether it's your parenting plan, finances, or both on the table, this episode walks you through every question to ask your lawyer, how to mentally prepare, and the secret negotiation strategies that'll keep you calm, confident, and in control.What you'll learn:The 4-part strategy to prep for mediation like a proWhat makes a bad mediator—and how to avoid oneWhy your first offer will probably suck (and that's okay)What “sweeteners” are and how to use them to get what you wantTips to regulate your emotions and stay focused during mediationWhether attorney-assisted mediation is worth itHow to build your own mediation “cheat sheet”Why mediation saves you time, money, and sanity (even if it fails)Burning Questions Answered:“How do I know if what I'm asking for is realistic?”“What if my ex throws something crazy at me?”“Do I need to get the mediator to like me?”“Can I call my lawyer during mediation?”“What happens if we can't agree on anything?”Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseSo… your spouse wants a divorce and you don't? Oof. That's a brutal position to be in—and one we know all too well. In this candid, no-holds-barred episode, Andrea and Morgan dive into the exact steps you need to take—legally and emotionally—when divorce isn't your idea, but it's happening anyway. Whether the papers haven't been filed yet or you've already been served, this is your guide to protecting yourself, preparing smartly, and finding solid ground when your world feels upside down.What You'll Learn:The first 3 legal steps to take if your spouse hasn't filed yetHow to emotionally process being blindsided by divorceWhat to do (and not do) if your spouse has filedWhen discernment counseling works (and when it won't)How to avoid expensive legal mistakes just because you're overwhelmedWhy it's critical to understand your attorney's strategyBurning Questions Answered:“What if I don't want a divorce—do I have any control?”“How can I financially prepare if I'm in the dark?”“Is couples therapy enough to save us?”“What happens if I ignore the divorce petition?”“How do I hold it together when I'm falling apart?Our Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

If you've ever fired off an angry text, regretted it immediately, or found yourself stuck in never-ending drama with your ex—this episode is for you. Andrea and Morgan sit down with the legendary Bill Eddy (lawyer, therapist, mediator, and creator of the BIFF method) to unpack exactly how to communicate with high-conflict people—without losing your mind (or your case).You'll learn why your responses might be feeding the fire, what judges actually notice in emails, and the two acronyms that can completely transform how you co-parent with a difficult ex. Whether you're in the thick of divorce or trying to rebuild your peace afterward—this is a must-listen.What you'll learn:What the BIFF method is (and why every lawyer uses it)How to end hostile conversations without fueling the fireWhat judges think when they read your emailsHow to save major money by communicating smarterThe difference between reacting and respondingWhy empathy is a power move (not a weakness)How to stop playing the blame game and move forwardThe biggest legal risk of oversharing via text or emailHow to draft a response that makes your ex pause, not pounceWhat “emotional mirroring” is—and how to avoid itBurning questions answered in this episode:What do I actually say when my ex sends a nasty email?How can I communicate effectively if my ex is a narcissist?Should I respond to everything my co-parent says?Why does tone matter if we're already in court?How do I keep conflict from costing me a fortune?Connect with Bill Eddy:Website: www.highconflictinstitute.comBooks: BIFF for Co-Parent Communication, Ear Statements, and moreInstagram: @highconflictinstituteOur Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago