Recovery Elevator 🌴

Today we have Ben. He is 45 years old from Liverpool, UK and had his last drink on September 26th, 2021.   Sponsors for this episode include: Better Help – 10% off of your first month Sober Link - $50 off of device using this link   [02:01] Thoughts from Paul:   According to Stanford neuroscientist Andrew Huberman, all health, longevity, and your daily moods, along with your overall state of being, is tied to the quality of your sleep. When you drink alcohol, the quality of your sleep drastically diminishes, leaving you in a state of disrepair the following day.   Paul shares many examples of how poor sleep affects our bodily functions and how drinking even small amounts of alcohol adds fuel to that fire.   When we remove alcohol and we begin entering deep sleep cycles again, all of these negative consequences of poor sleep start to disappear. It may not happen in one night but within time, trust the body and this function will return to normal.   [09:22] Paul introduces Ben:   Ben was a previous guest on Episode 364.   Ben started drinking when he was 14. It was tied into music and his social life. Alcohol and music helped him to escape the strife that he was having at school with bullies and being different than everyone else.   Drinking was a huge part of his rock and roll lifestyle. Drinking with bandmates while writing music, going out after practice and drinking after performances were all part of the landscape for Ben in his early 20s. This continued and progressed over the next decade.   Towards the end of his 30s, Ben says things started to get really dark for him. He found himself just wanting to drink on the tour bus and be left alone. The days of wanting to drink to socialize and be connected were gone for him.   When he realized his drinking was becoming an issue, Ben tried to stop for periods of time. Later on, to create accountability Ben would make pacts with his brother where if he drank on one of his 30-day breaks, his brother could sell Ben's guitar. The idea of stopping completely was unthinkable to Ben at the time.   After a situation where Ben almost lost all of his musical equipment at the end of a tour, he started to look into AA. It was recommended to him by someone he knew who had gotten sober. He was a bit dubious of it because he thought AA was only for people that had a problem. When Ben first spoke at the meeting he thought he might end up making light of his story but found himself crying instead and made the statement that he was scared that if he never drank again, that there would be nothing for him to look forward to for the rest of his life.   Throughout 2020 and 2021, Ben would find himself having two day drinking binges nearly every week. He had just gotten an apartment without housemates or family for the first time and had no one he had to be accountable to. The fact that his job wasn't 9-5 gave him a lot of free time. The moderation techniques began again because he wasn't ready to believe he had to quit entirely.   After a few rock bottom incidents, Ben finally made the decision to stop. In the first few months he used a variety of tools including harm reduction. He allowed himself to play video games again and eat food that he had always denied himself while drinking. When he reached out to be on the podcast the first time, he utilized that as motivation to stay sober at least until the interview a few months later.   Year one of sobriety found Ben still having cravings and just getting used to life being sober but says years two and three found him celebrating personal and professional successes. He says life can still be complicated at times but has learned to use obstacles as opportunities. Meditation has been a powerful tool for Ben in his recovery in addition to journalling, limiting his phone usage, reading and exercise.   Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down, you gotta take the stairs back up. I love you guys.   RE on Instagram Café RE RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes       

Today we have Christopher. He is 27 years old from Melbourne, Australia and he took his last drink on July 13th, 2019.   Sponsors for this episode include: Better Help – 10% off of your first month   On October 4th-15th, we are going to Peru!  There are still three spots available for this 11-day 12-night journey throughout Cusco, Machu Picchu and the Sacred Valley. Included in this journey are hiking the Inca Trail and a service project with Peruvian Hearts.   [02:38] Thoughts from Paul:   Today Paul presents the third of a three-part series where he covers the healing one may expect in the first year away from alcohol. This week he covers the spiritual (not necessarily religious) component of healing and what can generally be expected over the course of the first year away from alcohol.   Spiritual growth isn't necessarily linear and likely won't start in the first week. There may have been a moment before your last drink when time seemed to stop, and you were pulled into the present moment where you could see where things were headed if you didn't quit drinking.   For some this growth may involve religious exploration and for others it may just be feeling the pull to be in nature or seeing life synchronicities and being able to decipher signals of intuition in your body. Creativity may return and books like Julia Cameron's The Artist's Way can help unblock creative channels.   Paul shares many different ways spiritual healing can show up for people on the journey to being alcohol-free.   [09:28] Paul introduces Christopher:   Chris is 27 and lives in Melbourne, Australia. He is about to start being a psychologist in a few weeks where he looks forward to being of service, but currently is working in the restaurant area of a pub. For fun he enjoys the outdoors, running, hiking and is a fan of philosophy.   Chris' drinking began like many others when he was in his teens. He says he instantly felt free, and his problems slipped away. He drank when the opportunities arose, and it was mainly binge drinking on the weekends.   Chris said he cared a lot of what others thought of him or if they found him interesting, so he began to believe that he had to drink in order to please them. This led to an escalation in his drinking and not long after he began to question his it but didn't feel like it was an addiction. He kept himself busy to avoid dealing with those thoughts. When Chris was 19 or 20, he was going into another semester at school and was exhausted. He decided to take this time to quit alcohol and drugs. He found himself thinking about alcohol a lot during this time and began to explore what this meant to him. Chris didn't want to share with anyone what he was doing so kept it to himself.   After the three-month break, Chris went back to drinking and it wasn't the same. He realized that alcohol had been ruined for him. He was drinking just because he was terrified of the alternative but eventually decided to quit and this time shared his intention with others.   In spite of having multiple years away from alcohol, Chris didn't feel completely sober. He recently began to prioritize his sobriety and utilize more resources in his recovery. He was listening to the RE podcast but also became more active in Café RE and started going to AA meetings and getting a sponsor. Realizing that he couldn't do it alone was a big revelation for Chris. He says that prioritizing his sobriety is the most important component to having control over the rest of his life.   Christopher's parting piece of guidance: “do what's right for you. Your truth is your truth and there is going to be a lot of outside noise, but you probably know what is going on deep down better than you realize.”     Recovery Elevator Go big, because eventually we'll all go home. I love you guys.   RE on Instagram Café RE RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes       

Today we have Adam. He is 34 years old from Denver, CO and took his last drink on May 19th, 2022.   Sponsors for this episode include: Better Help – 10% off of your first month Café RE – the social app for sober people   [02:41] Thoughts from Paul:   Today Paul presents the second of a three-part series where he covers the healing one may expect in the first year away from alcohol. This week he covers the mental component of healing and what can generally be expected over the course of the first year away from alcohol.   In the beginning, don't expect much but the brain fog will begin to lift by the end of the first week. Emotions will start to show up and you should embrace them. Seeing mood swings is completely normal but they will begin to improve over the next few months   Over the first year there are a lot of improvements to our awareness, our emotional regulation and our dopamine system.   Paul shares many more examples, but this is a short version of a longer list, and the mental healing goes on for years. Perhaps the biggest shift mentally is how you now feel about yourself now that you've made such a positive change by ditching the booze.   [11:45] Paul introduces Adam:   Adam was born and raised in Denver, CO. He and his fiancé are getting married in August this year. Adams works in the government affairs lobbying space in Colorado. For fun he loves skiing, hiking, reading and recovery work.   After his first drink at age 14, Adam knew he wanted to do more of it. He says he was a fearful kid and as he grew older his fears became more tangible, and he never felt prepared to deal with them. A lack of confidence and feelings of not adapting like others found him seeking comfort in alcohol and other drugs.   In the transition between high school and college, Adam shares that his substance use increased because it was more accessible. Stressed out while studying abroad in Rome found him developing a nightly drinking habit to cope.   Adam was in a cycle of binge drinking and drinking nightly after graduation and starting his career. He kept defending his drinking as he is just doing it for now and eventually, he will stop. Adam was keeping a bottle of vodka in his car and hiding how much he was drinking from his partner.   In 2021 after a weekend filled with drinking, Adam's wife came home from errands to find him unresponsive. He ended up in the hospital with a BAC over .4. After a mini-intervention by his family, he said he just wouldn't drink but wasn't interested in asking for help. He was able to white-knuckle for 150 days, got divorced and then got a new job and apartment. He decided that it was long enough to quit drinking and went out with friends.   After several months of drinking again and then getting into trouble at work, Adam began to realize he wasn't having fun anymore. Some friends that were in a 12-step program invited him to join them and he decided to say yes and hasn't left yet.   Adam identifies with the word “alcoholic” and feels like it helps others view the word differently by seeing normal people using the word. Once starting the program, he dove into the work in addition to reading books and relating to other peoples stories. Realizing he needed help and that he couldn't control his drinking was a weight lifted for Adam.   Adam is still working with a sponsor to continue to learn more about himself. Adam tries to find ways to integrate recovery into his day and be more present with his loved ones. Adam shares he is no longer overwhelmed with fears since he has more tools to help him now.   Adam's parting piece of guidance: keep trying, don't give up on yourself and keep coming back.     Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down; you've got to take the stairs back up. WE can do this. I love you guys.   RE on Instagram RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes       

Today we have Maggie. She is 42 years old, from Switzerland, and she took her last drink on February 24th, 2024.   Sponsors for this episode include: Better Help – 10% off of your first month Café RE – the social app for sober people     Registration for our annual alcohol-free retreat in Bozeman is now open. From August 6th through 10th, we will be spending lots of time in nature, doing breathwork, a lakeside hangout, laser tag and more.   In October of this year, we are going to Peru!  There are still spots available for this 11-day 12-night journey throughout Cusco, Machu Picchu and the Sacred Valley.   [02:43] Thoughts from Paul:   A question Paul hears and sees frequently is what to expect when we put the bottle down. He shares that the destruction of alcohol happens in three steps. First the spiritual component, then mental and finally physical. Healing tends to happen in the reverse order. There will be overlap and the transition is not quite linear, nor does the healing ever stop.   Paul expands on what to expect when healing begins and how it can look for our bodies and minds in the first week, month, six months to a year.   [12:06] Paul introduces Maggie:   Maggie is from Switzerland but lives in Hong Kong with her husband Chris and their four dogs. They enjoy spending time on the beach, stand up paddling and triathlons.  Professionally, Maggie was the head of IT in investment banking but has recently changed careers and now is an options equity trader.   Maggie says she had her first drink when she was 13 and instantly felt relief from her anxiety. During her teen years, she says she and her friends spent a lot of time going out to bars and she discovered clubbing and cocaine when she was 18.   Maggie did well in school and started working with hedge funds after graduating. She says the workdays ended at 4pm and everyone would go out to have drinks afterwards. Her drinking wasn't concerning to her at this point in time.   Maggie moved to Hong Kong when she was 24 and this is when she began to realize that she didn't have an off switch when it came to alcohol. Everyone else would be ready to go home and Maggie says she was just getting started.   From the age of 20 to around 30, Maggie says things got progressively worse. While everything looked successful and stable on the outside, inside she was falling apart. Maggie would compare herself with people that were worse off than her as a way to justify her drinking. Moderation entered the picture, and she would sign up for a lot of physical activities as a way to force herself to be sober.   Maggie moved to Singapore before COVID but then lost her job and was there for a year without her husband. That is when she went from binge drinking to daily drinking. Upon her return to Hong Kong, her husband told her she needed to go to AA.   After four years of stops and starts while trying to make AA work, Maggie knew she needed to try something different. Addicted to multiple substances, Maggie checked herself into rehab but relapsed as soon as she left. After her return to Hong Kong, Maggie tried another location where they used EMDR therapy which helped her find the root causes of her addiction issues.   Maggie was given Antabuse after leaving rehab and that has helped alcohol become a non-negotiable for her. In sobriety she learned that she couldn't return to her old job. She has made a career change that allows her to work less hours and find a new hobby creating and selling her art.   Maggie feels peaceful now. Her goals are to continue to do sports and be a better athlete, continue to travel and maintain her current peaceful lifestyle.   Maggie's parting piece of guidance: hang in there and you will eventually get there. Never give up and maybe also explore the root cause of what is causing the drinking in the first place.   Recovery Elevator This isn't a no to alcohol but a yes to a better life. I love you guys.   RE on Instagram RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes       

Today we have Kaylee. She's 33 years old from Camp Hill, PA and took her last drink on December 24th, 2024.   Sponsors for this episode include: Better Help – 10% off of your first month Sober Link – learn more and save 50% off of a device   Registration for our annual alcohol-free retreat in Bozeman is now open. From August 6th through 10th, we will be spending lots of time in nature, doing breathwork, a lakeside hangout, laser tag and more.   [03:38] Thoughts from Paul:   Paul shares a comment that he heard recently in a Café RE chat. Stephanie said she eventually called the fight with alcohol. It is another way to frame the moment where we surrender to what is when it comes to our drinking. We know moderation isn't working, anxiety is getting worse and the shame and torture from alcohol is reaching unprecedented levels. It becomes time to throw in the towel.   He also shares a line from an upcoming interviewee who stated, “sobriety has given me the keys to the car of my dreams, I just hate the color”. So, the universe will always align with our hopes, our dreams, and desires, but we may want the package to look different.   It is all about accepting the journey that life places in front of you.   [07:08] Paul introduces Kaylee:   Kaylee is 33 and lives in Camp Hill, PA. She has two daughters aged 15 and six. She is still trying to figure out what she likes to do for fun, but enjoys movies, concerts and spending time with her daughters.   Kaylee says she was a sensitive kid. She struggled with depression and self-harm when she was very young and was always searching for a remedy her feelings. Kaylee drank experimentally by sporadically sneaking alcohol out of her mom's cabinet.   When she was 15, she was assaulted and learned early on that using alcohol could help numb her pain. Kaylee says that any time her emotions were strong, she knew she could use alcohol to not think about the negative emotions and things that happened to her. Her usage became a regular thing on the weekends with friends while she was a teenager.   Kaylee had her first daughter when she was 17 and thought maybe she was done with the party life. She didn't drink while pregnant but not long after her daughter was born, she was right back to drinking. Moving to her first apartment at age 21 also contributed to an increase in her drinking and now she felt free to drink however she wanted to, including by herself.   When Kaylee went right back to drinking after her second daughter, she knew she needed to try to cut back and moderate. She was taking online quizzes asking, “am I an alcoholic?” and considered AA meetings only to determine she was fine and could cut back on her own.   After a few years trying moderation, Kaylee found herself in a dark place with suicidal thoughts. She decided to seek therapy and was open with someone about her drinking for the first time. She was able to get sober for about six months.   In January 2024 after a breakup, Kaylee found herself drinking heavily again. After calling a suicide hotline looking for help, she ended up going to detox for a week. After detox she continued an outpatient program but again thought she could moderate. As Christmas approached, Kaylee was thinking that she could not continue drinking into another year. She began to talk to a good friend of hers who was extremely supportive.   The first few weeks were tough, but she started to get better physically. Within the first month she says her mind started coming back and she started feeling more like herself. Kaylee reconnected to her faith and became more open about her struggles which she says helps a lot.   Kaylee says the tools she uses the most in her recovery are journaling, talking to someone when she is having cravings or triggers, praying and meditation, and staying open with those close to her.   Recovery Elevator Rule 22 – lighten up, let's not take ourselves too seriously. I love you guys.   Café RE RE on Instagram RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes       

Today we have Jenny. She is 38 years old from Hudson, WI and she took her last drink on February 16, 2020.   Sponsors for this episode include: Better Help – 10% off of your first month   Recovery Elevator has a nonprofit called Café RE which is our alcohol-free community. For all of our happenings and what we offer, click on Recovery Elevator Events.   [02:35] Thoughts from Paul:   It doesn't really matter what word or label we attach to our relationship with alcohol. It doesn't matter what we call it; we still need to do something about it. Paul says that his own pursuits of solving the “why” behind his drinking and how his addiction took hold has been a revealing journey of self-discovery even he won't be able to pin down exactly why he crashed and burned so hard.   When we relentlessly scour the past for reasons why we drink, we take our energies away from the only moment where true healing and peace reside, which is this very moment right now.   Addiction does everything it can to pull us from the present moment. Ruminating on what happened, what you have tends to be fruitless. Befriend and make peace the part of you that seeks oblivion and self-destruction. An addiction path may be what our souls choose in hopes of teaching us what really matters in life.   [09:03] Paul introduces Jenny:   Jenny is a previous guest and was featured in Episode 417 back in 2023 after celebrating three years alcohol-free.   Jenny is married and they have a seven-year-old son. She enjoys exercise, adventure and being outside. She does professional development for the construction industry.   Jenny drinking when she was 11 years old with the goal of being a rebel. She says she had a goal of being a tough, naughty girl and says it let her down the road to 22 years of binging and going on benders with alcohol and drugs.   In her late twenties, Jenny had a miscarriage and says that it was at that point that she knew she had a problem, and she didn't think she'd be able to stop. She and her husband had their son in 2017 and decided a life change was needed so they moved back home after living out west for a while. She was 31 years old, unemployed, had a newborn son and was deeply in debt. The move to her in-law's basement and being back in her hometown opening old wounds drove Jenny to use alcohol more and more to escape.   Rock bottom came for Jenny after Super Bowl Sunday 202. She got very sick while driving and called out of work. For the next few days, she was hungover and thinking about ways to end things. A spiritual awakening and vision of an uncle that had passed away before she was born, led Jenny to get up and decide enough was enough.   Jenny says the first week was hard like ripping a bandage off and bleed profusely. All aspects of her life needed to be explored. She wanted to live a life of integrity and knew she needed to do the right things for herself. She feels like every day is a victory for all of us on the journey.   After a year without alcohol, her husband encouraged her to find connection and she tried AA. That group helped her define her higher power and she loves AA and the 12 steps. She finds that friendships in recovery are so much deeper.   In the last few years since she was on the podcast, Jenny says not much has changed but life is more stable now. When she quit drinking, she was able to address other issues that she wasn't aware she had. She is capable of just being and seeking peace in her life.   Jenny knows that relapse is a non-negotiable for her. She says she hasn't come this far to only come this far. Being able to tell the whole story about things that happen is important to her.   Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down. You got to take the stairs back up. We can do this.   Café RE RE on Instagram RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes       

Today we have Laura. She is 40 years old from Reno, NV and she had her last drink on August 1st, 2017.   Sponsors for this episode include: Better Help – 10% off of your first month   Tomorrow April 1st, registration opens for our annual alcohol-free retreat in Bozeman. From August 6th through 10th, we will be spending lots of time in nature, doing breathwork, a lakeside hangout, laser tag and more.   [02:58] Thoughts from Paul:   On this life journey, what we think is fun or important to us is constantly changing. You have identified that serenity, happiness and peace have become much more important to you than the excitement of drinking. After all, drinking lifts us up for a short while but always lets us down in the end.   Peace is knowing we are living our healthiest life and knowing that whatever happens, we're going to be just fine because we're not making life harder than it needs to be by drinking.   We are aiming to place our bodies and minds in a state where they are properly nourished so then we can be present to fully enjoy and be thankful when the emotion of happiness arrives. We are choosing peace over the brevity of a buzz. We are choosing life.   [05:51] Paul introduces Laura:   Laura is married, and lives in Reno, Nevada. She is currently transitioning out of working in nonprofit communications to going full time with her own business. She enjoys all things outdoors, lifting weights, and making funny Tik-Toks.   The minute Laura started drinking she felt like it was the elixir to confidence and connection. Throughout college and into her 20s, she didn't think much about her drinking because she was drinking like everyone else around her. Leaving college, Laura didn't really know what she wanted to do with her life. Looking back now, she recognizes how much drinking disconnects you from yourself.   Laura moved to Lake Tahoe and became a snowboard bum. This is where her drinking progressed. Little red flags started to pop up, but she would disregard them and treat her drinking like it was an intentional choice.   In her late twenties, Laura got a DUI. This drove her to recognize that she needed to quit drinking and was able to for a few months. She thought after that, she had it under control only to end up right back where she was soon after.   Laura began to try and moderate and take breaks. When she realized it was hard to quit for two weeks, she knew she had a problem. After a blackout, Laura decided it was time to give sobriety a try. Quitting drinking felt scary, but it felt scarier to continue down the path she was on. She didn't know anyone that was sober but once she listened to people's stories on the RE podcast, she had hope.   After 7 months of working on her recovery by herself, she relapsed at a memorial for a friend. Recognizing that she was on the right path in sobriety, she went right back to it. She started going to AA and found a sponsor. Laura admits it was a lot of work, but she was ready for it. She shares that she had a lot of epiphanies during the first six to nine months.   Laura picked up a lot of healthy practices in recovery which helped her rediscover herself and build confidence. She says no tequila shot could ever compare to the feeling of being able to trust yourself, respect yourself and have authentic connections with other people.   In her new business, Laura is a backpacking guide. She organizes adventure retreats for sober women. Your Sober Pal   Laura's favorite resources: Recovery Elevator podcast, 12 Step Program and online recovery communities.   Laura's parting piece of guidance: it might e a lot of work up front, but it's going to take you places you couldn't even imaging and you're going to amaze yourself along the way.     Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down. You have got to take the stairs back up. We can do this.   Café RE RE on Instagram RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes       

Today we have Niko. He is 43 years old from San Juan, Puerto Rico and took his last drink on September 2nd, 2024.   Sponsors for this episode include: Better Help – 10% off of your first month Café RE   Next week registration opens for our flagship retreat in Bozeman which is always a lot of fun. In addition to our lake hangout, breathwork and recovery workshops, we're also playing laser tag. We also have a few spots left for our alcohol-free trip this October to Peru which includes travel to Cusco, the Sacred Valley and of course, Machu Picchu.   If you have quit drinking and are looking for new alcohol-free friends, Café RE is the social app for sober people. With 24/7 access to a like-minded community committed to living alcohol-free, you'll never feel alone on this journey.      [03:25] Thoughts from Paul:   Jackass alumni Stevo-O once said he didn't experience alcoholism until he quit drinking. In 1958 alcoholism was first classified as a disease. How does one experience this disease after they stop drinking?   Paul shares his thinking that “if you want to find out why you drink, quit drinking and you'll find out pretty quickly”. And another thought “it's not an alcohol problem; it's a sobriety problem”. When you are addicted to alcohol, withdrawals are a huge problem. But another issues presents itself when we are sober and no longer using alcohol to cope or cheat code for dopamine. Our eyes are wide open to the movie of our lives and there is no way to shut it off.   This is why people in recovery attend social circles where people can talk about the baseline state of the human mind, which is restless, irritable and discontent. When we come together, we have a better chance to heal.   [07:25] Paul introduces Niko:   Niko lives in San Juan, Puerto Rico and is the youngest of three siblings. He enjoys beach tennis, swimming and volleyball, which was something he played a lot in school.   Niko first tried alcohol when he was around 12. By age 14, he had his first blackout. For years Niko never questioned his drinking because he figured if he could tolerate it and wasn't doing stupid or embarrassing things, he was fine.   Niko was recruited to play volleyball in a college in Pennsylvania. His drinking interfered with his grades, but he never questioned his drinking until recently. Drinking is very embedded in his culture and says it isn't abnormal for teenagers to be drinking at the table with adults.   In his 30s, Niko says he added cocaine to his drinking, and this continued until last year. Niko knew he had an issue with it, but it wasn't until his girlfriend presented an ultimatum that it was the drugs or her. He was able to quit cocaine and started therapy where he proclaimed he still had to be able to drink. After a few weeks, he talked with a friend that had recently quit drinking who encouraged him to give it a try.   The first week without alcohol was pretty tough for Niko but he says things turned around in the second week as he entered the pink cloud and started thinking he should keep going.   Niko has dabbled in AA and SMART Recovery. He sees his therapist once a week and also attends group therapy with up to 8 other people. Without alcohol Niko is getting to know himself again and his therapist helps a lot with that. She introduced him to the RE podcast which he says he has listened to a lot while going to the gym and walking the dog. He has lost 45 pounds since quitting drinking and is starting to do more of the sports he loved when he was younger. Since he has been getting to know himself, he is finding the ability to be more present for others as well.   Niko's parting piece of guidance: if you think you have a problem or maybe you don't think you have a problem, just give yourself a try. You won't regret it.     Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down, but you gotta take the stairs back up. I love you guys.   RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes       

Today we have Alyssa. She is 30 years old from Vancouver, WA and took her last drink on September 5th, 2024.   Sponsors for this episode include: Better Help – 10% off of your first month Sober Link –   Next Monday, our five-week course called Ditching the Booze. This is our alcohol-free 101 crash course and is included with Café RE membership. All sessions are live and you're tuning in with others who are in the same spot as you. The sessions are also recorded in case you can't attend.   On Tuesday, April 1st, registration opens for our flagship retreat in Bozeman which is always a lot of fun. In addition to our lake hangout, breathwork and recovery workshops, we're also playing laser tag.   [03:20] Thoughts from Paul:   Today Paul talks about why alcohol can be so hard to quit, why the process of quitting can take years and can contain many stops and starts.   Addiction guru Gabor Mate says, “addictions are always a human response to pain, suffering and trauma”. We are constantly in search of homeostasis. When we find something effective at helping us find this relief, it becomes our first technique to use when we are in pain. After drinking long enough, you'll get to the point where you only feel good, or dopamine will only be created when we are drinking.   It takes time after quitting drinking for our body to naturally create dopamine on its own. You will need to learn new routines, create new habits and figure out a way to fill the time that used to be spent drinking. Paul shares with us several other reasons quitting drinking is hard.   Why do you think quitting drinking is so hard? Comment on RE's Instagram page. There's a post for today's episode.   [09:02] Paul introduces Alyssa:   Alyssa lives in Vancouver, WA with her fiancé and two Rotskis. She currently works as a server and in her free time she enjoys reading and traveling with her fiancé. They are currently trying to determine where they are going to move to be closer to family.   Alyssa says she had an early introduction to alcohol but never really considered it an issue until she met her fiancé who doesn't drink. For years, everyone around her drank so she didn't notice her own drinking.   Alyssa's drinking increased slowly but became daily during the pandemic. In 2021 she read Easy Way to Quit Drinking by Allen Carr and was able to stop for a few months.   For Alyssa, her drinking began to create an inner turmoil, and it started to erode her confidence because she was making promises to herself and then breaking them by drinking instead of accomplishing her goals. After quitting for a period of time, Alyssa thought that she would be able to moderate. In time, she says, she was right back where she was.   After moving in with her father while they save up to find their own place, Alyssa says the lack of goals and uncertainty of the future found her drinking more to cope. She was no longer active and was losing self-esteem while anxiety and depression took hold. At the bottom of her heart, Alyssa knew that eliminating alcohol would help fix the way she was feeling.   Alyssa chose a quit date and started seeking sober podcasts and books to prepare, including This Naked Mind. It was after a night out with friends that Alyssa told her fiancé that she didn't want to drink anymore. He was very supportive of her decision and offered to help however he could.   Alyssa continued to read This Naked Mind and participated in a 30-day sober challenge. This paired with the liberation she felt from her decision led to a pink cloud experience for Alyssa. Anxiety and depression started to lift quickly. Going forward, she is trying to figure out what she wants to do in the future, and she believes in sobriety the options are endless.   Alyssa's parting piece of guidance: Just listen to that little voice. Give sobriety as many chances as you gave alcohol.       Recovery Elevator Rule 22: lighten up - let's do our best not to take ourselves too seriously. I love you guys.   RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes       

Today we have Lisa. She is from Brisbane, Australia and took her last drink on February 24th, 2022.   Sponsors for this episode include: Better Help – 10% off of your first month   If you have quit drinking and are looking for new alcohol-free friends, Café RE is the social app for sober people. With 24/7 access to a like-minded community committed to living alcohol-free, you'll never feel alone on this journey.    [02:35] Thoughts from Paul:   Healing from alcohol addiction is more about restoring the original circuitry we arrived on the planet with, opposed to learning anything new. You already have everything you need to quit drinking. There is nothing wrong with you, we simply need to remove the layers of muck, grime, false stories and incorrect paradigms that we have accumulated over the years of living in a toxic culture.   As you clean up your inner mess, you're also laying the foundation for others to begin their healing process. When you heal, others around you heal.   [07:27] Paul introduces Lisa:   Lisa is 45 years old and lives in Brisbane, Australia. She runs a residential rehab for women. For fun, Lisa enjoys CrossFit and the community that comes with it. She has a 21-year-old son.   Lisa first tried alcohol when she was 17. It was an issue from the first time she picked it up. Once she got the feeling in her system, she just kept going. This continued until she was pregnant with her son who was born when she was 24 years old.   When her son was 13 months old, Lisa became a single mom and wanted to find herself again as he started to get older. With her mom helping her with her son, she was able to start going out to meet people and says the only way she knew how to do that was with alcohol involved. Lisa says she thought to be sociable, you had to drink.   There were times when Lisa was able to abstain for extended periods while focusing on her son and fitness, but she always went back to it. She found herself using drinks as a reward to get through the weekdays and then would binge drink on the weekends. This cost her multiple jobs in the fitness and nutrition world. Lisa found herself blaming everything but herself or her drinking.   Lisa had been working on getting sober for quite a while but had always been trying to do it for other people or jobs. A few years before her sobriety date, she had a revelation that she had to quit drinking for herself. She was able to go 500 days from that point and says she wasn't doing the work suggested to her and ended up drinking again. At this point she was adding other substances to her drinking. A weekend camping trip in November 2021 ended badly for Lisa and after her partner picked her up, she shared that she didn't want to live anymore. The fact that she felt that way scared her.   When her son questioned her about going to rehab, Lisa told her she couldn't because she had so many other obligations. The drinking continued and she would start going to lengths to try and conceal it. After a weekend away with her son, she found herself on a balcony consumed with suicidal thoughts. It was then that she called a rehab to try and get help. Within a few days, she travelled 8 hours south to start rehab.   Lisa says her connection to herself is now authentic. She no longer looks to others or external things to make her happy. Lisa feels free and can now be grateful for her addiction because of where it has led her. She knows she has to put herself and her recovery first which was hard in the beginning. And now after three years, she still makes sure to attend meetings and do what needs to be done to stay sober every day.   Lisa's parting piece of guidance: just put it down one day at a time. And if it takes one minute at a time, one hour at a time, whatever it is that you need to do to get off the booze, there is a better life out there for you.   Recovery Elevator Go big because eventually we'll all go home. I love you guys.   RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes       

Today we have Charlie. She is 32 years old from London, UK. She took her last drink on December 28th, 2024.   Sponsors for this episode include: Better Help – 10% off of your first month   In October of this year, we are going to Peru!  There are still spots available for this 11-day 12-night journey throughout Cusco, Machu Picchu and the Sacred Valley. Registration closes June 2nd which is the deadline for Inca trail tickets.   [02:50] Thoughts from Paul:   According to NCS solutions, who poll people about their drinking, the number of people who want to cut back on their drinking increases every year.   In 2025, 36% more people participated in Dry January than in 2024. A good reason why the numbers are increasing is reflected in a poem Paul shares called Memories of Alcohol by an unknown author.   So much of the work we do is reframing how we view alcohol. Subconsciously it is still deeply ingrained in our culture that drinking enhances our lives, but we have all learned that it doesn't. Once the voice in our head starts telling us that a drink would be nice or we deserve a drink we can start giving it some tough love and tell it that no, a drink would not be nice and please give me some better ideas.   [05:09] Paul introduces Charlie:   Charlie is a software engineer from London and will be getting married in April. For fun, Charlie has rediscovered that she enjoys skiing, running and swimming.   Growing up, Charlie witnessed both parents struggle with divorce and use of alcohol and medications.  She started drinking when she was around 14. Charlie says everyone around her drank and seemed to be having a good time, so she joined in without thinking twice.   Around her mid-twenties, Charlie started to have a subtle undercurrent of doubt in her mind and a quiet voice suggesting that maybe she wasn't the best version of herself anymore. Since she never had what others would consider a problem, she didn't think her drinking was an issue.   Charlie began to find things weren't going wrong for her, but they weren't necessarily going right either. She felt stagnated. In an effort to try and make changes to this she removed alcohol from time to time and began to connect the dots between her stagnation and the alcohol use.   Charlies says she tried moderation, but it was exhausting. Her all-or-nothing mentality made it difficult. She also shares that she has had multiple stints of around 100 days without alcohol because she learned that was a good amount of time to feel many of the positive effects of quitting.   This time feels different for Charlie because she has leaned into the sobriety community a bit more. She has been listening to podcasts and reading books and learned that the key to maintaining sobriety is to find community. Since there are more people around her encouraging her and sharing insights, Charlie feels this time is indefinite as opposed to the other times when she had a finish line of sorts.   Charlies says since quitting drinking her positivity has returned and she is feeling like the younger version of herself now. She shares that it's amazing how much you can fit into a day when half of it isn't taken up by drinking or recovering from it.   Charlie's parting piece of guidance: if you've never quit drinking before, what's that worst that can happen?   Recovery Elevator It all starts from the inside out. I love you guys. We can do this.     Café RE RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes       

Today we have Robbie. He is 43 and lives in Moses Lake, WA. He took his last drink on August 15th, 2024   Sponsors for this episode include: Better Help – 10% off of your first month   3,649 days ago, or 1 day shy of ten years, the first episode of the Recovery Elevator podcast dropped. Paul remembers the date well because for three months after the first episode released, he kept thinking “oh my God, what have I done?”. Burning the ships in podcast format gave Paul a lot of anxiety, but here we are, 523 weeks later and thank you listeners, for keeping the show alive.   30 Best Sobriety Podcasts   [04:13] Thoughts from Paul:   Paul shares the definition and his thoughts around the term gray area drinking. The definition states that it is the space between end-stage drinking and every now and again drinking. Gray area drinking could also be classified as someone who can stop drinking without medical detox or can stop on their own before someone stages an intervention.   Paul believes it's all gray area drinking. Be it one beer a month or 10 beers a night. One common thread he hears on this podcast is “and then xyz happened”. It's these major life events that can ramp up the drinking and everyone has life happen to them.   [07:10] Paul introduces Robbie:   Robbie is 43 years old and lives in Moses Lake, WA. He currently works at a chemical plant in the semiconductor industry. He has five children in the age range of eight months to 14. They enjoy spending time outdoors and at the lake near their home. Robbie is a big sports fan and played sports often while growing up.   Robbie took his first drink when he was in college in his 20s. He didn't drink much until he lost his dad in 2013.  Without knowing how to process his grief and having young children, Robbie learned that drinking helped him be numb and he started drinking four or five days a week. At the time, Robbie was working as a corrections officer, which was a very stressful job that contributed to his drinking as well.   In 2018 Robbie's marriage ended. This was the first time he had been away from his children. He moved two hours away from them to stay at his mom's house. After his second DUI in two weeks, the judge imposed alcohol monitoring for Robbie. This helped him stay sober for a year but only because he had to be.   Thinking he could now moderate, Robbie started drinking soon after no longer having the monitoring device. He says he wasn't having a good time, and he was just using it to numb out from multiple traumas.   In February 2024 Robbie reached a breaking point and reach out to his brother-in-law who helped him find a treatment center in Utah. Robbie was there for 35 days and felt like he had made a lot of progress. He learned a lot about himself and started doing counseling. Robbie finally got some help dealing with some big traumas throughout his life. He says he feels like he used alcohol to punish himself thinking he deserved to be miserable.   After a brief relapse, Robbie says he woke up on August 15th and just knew it was over, and he had to stop drinking for good. He decided to try naltrexone which he first learned about in rehab. He took it for the first month and says he still has no desire to drink. Robbie goes to AA meetings, listens to podcasts and audiobooks, and is a member of Café RE. Robbie stays accountable with his family and friends at work. People have noticed a positive change in him.   In the past Robbie quit drinking because he was forced to, or for other people. He said on August 15th; he was doing it for himself. He says sobriety is the greatest gift to himself and his kids.   Robbie's parting piece of guidance: If you're asking yourself if you drink too much or if it's becoming a problem, it already is. Listen to your gut. Believe in yourself that you can quit.   Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down; you got to take the stairs back up. We can do this.     Café RE RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes       

Today we have Jeremy. He is 43 years old and lives in Portland, Maine. He took his last drink on January 23rd, 2019.   Sponsors for this episode include: Better Help – 10% off of your first month   Recovery Elevator is going back to Peru in October 2025. On this 10-night, 11-day trip of a lifetime, we will be hiking the Inca Trail and participating in two service projects. Registration has been open for two weeks and we have about five or six spots left.   [01:40] Thoughts from Paul:   About three weeks ago, we had a gentleman named Nate share his story for one of our dry January sessions. He mentioned that just before he quit drinking, his spouse poured out a bottle of Jameson Irish whiskey onto their lawn. The whiskey killed a circular patch of grass, making it an area where conditions were no longer suitable for growth, and Nate eventually had to replace the entire section of grass.   Today's episode is titled "Would a Drink Help?". This phrase is often depicted in movies, TV, and other media after a long day or stressful event. For those of us who find it difficult to have just one, a drink will never help. It's not the fifth or the 10th drink that gets you into trouble, it's always the first. Because it leads you to have the fifth or 10th drink which will leave a dead ring of grass inside us.   Unlike grass, our brains and bodies can heal from the poison. So, in answer to the question of “would a drink help?” the answer is always no, and it will always leave you in a worse position. We wouldn't ask this question about any other substance either.   It takes time before the neurons in the brain that a drink can help stop firing together so go easy on yourself.   [07:11] Paul introduces Jeremy:   Jeremy is 43, married with no kids and works in tech consulting. They have an English bulldog and for fun, Jeremy enjoys snowboarding, hiking, and music. He is also a house music DJ and plays multiple instruments.   Jeremy first began to recognize that his drinking was an issue for him in his twenties. He began drinking in his teens and used alcohol to help him escape feelings around an assault that happened when he was 15. Since Jeremy didn't participate in team sports in school, he spent time with people that did other things like drink and do drugs.   After taking a six-month break from drinking when he was 22, Jeremy thought he was fine since he was able to quit for a period of time. He moved to Boston, made some friends there and began grad school. He shares that his drinking didn't look out of control but as he approached his 30s, he realized that his friends were starting to slow down, have families and he was still wanting to spend time in bars. Over time his drinking was creating issues with his wife, and he was starting to feel unhappy both when he was drinking and when he was not. Things looked ok on the outside, but inside they were breaking down. The blackouts were becoming a major issue for him, and he couldn't see a way out.   In 2018, Jeremy and his wife had a fight and that's when he broke down and told her he was struggling. He started reading books about quitting but was still struggling after a few weeks. A note from his wife was a catalyst to seek help from therapy and he discovered SMART Recovery. He kept going back and made connections with others in the meetings.   Jeremy shares how there are so many ways to get sober now and that you don't have to hit rock bottom to quit drinking. He says you have to get over the fear and just focus on the day in front of you. Since quitting drinking Jeremy says he has learned that he doesn't need alcohol to feel comfortable anymore. He is comfortable with who he is now and with therapy has helped learn to love himself and forgive himself for the past.   Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down; you got to take the stairs back up. We can do this.     Café RE RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes       

Today we have Dave. He is 69 years old from Beaver Creek, CO. He took his last drink in September 17th, 2024.   Sponsors for this episode include: Better Help – 10% off of your first month Sober Link - receive $50 off of a device   If you have quit drinking and are looking for new alcohol-free friends, Café RE is the social app for sober people. Come join the party!   Tonight begins our first ever AF Songwriting Course starting at 8pm EST. Connect with other sober musicians and improve your own song writing skills.   [02:40] Thoughts from Paul:   Paul shares an article from the San Francisco Chronicle regarding the tanking sales of red wine in San Francisco restaurants. All alcohol sales were down but mocktail sales were up.   Many people share that it's tough to quit drinking where they live. Paul discovered a statistic from the CDC that says where he lives in Gallatin County, Montana is listed as the drunkest of all 3,244 counties in America.   In the state of Montana, they place a white cross on the road where traffic fatalities occur in hopes of reminding drivers to take caution and slow down. 66% of these white crosses are alcohol related.   There is no judgement towards those that are still binge drinking. At Recovery Elevator, we are not better than anyone, we have just chosen a different path. If you feel called to walk this pathway with us, we'd love to have you.   [10:01] Paul introduces Dave:   Dave lives in Beaver Creek, CO with his dog Tango. He is very active in the AA community in his area and cherishes the connections he has made there. He enjoys skiing, biking, and traveling. He has three kids and recently became a grandfather. Dave is currently seeking his master's degree in clinical counseling.   Alcohol was present in Dave's life growing up as his parents drank socially. He drank socially as well throughout high school and college. He drinking didn't become problematic until later. Dave shares that his alcohol use disorder stemmed from his chronic childhood emotional trauma. Alcohol later became the solution to dealing with unwanted emotions.   In 2016 after raising his kids independently and a relationship had ended, Dave started to use drinking to deal with some voids in his life. He had a successful commercial real estate business but didn't have many local friends at the time.   Dave went to rehab in 2017 after having two DUIs in December of 2016. He was able to stay sober until 2021 and says again it was emotional overwhelm that sparked more field research. He found help in a psychologist who was a clinical director of a rehab facility. He was able to get sober again in July of 2021.   A reunion in September of 2024 found Dave having beers with friends thinking he would just have a few and would be fine. Dave had more the next day and realized that if he didn't clear the rest of the alcohol out at the end of the day, he would continue to drink. Dave credits his tools and connection in AA to being able to get sober once again.   Dave is huge on connection. Both connections with people and connections with a higher power. He enjoys going to meetings and being of service to others in the community. Dave says one of the greatest gifts of sobriety for him is giving up control of outcomes. He chooses to deal with emotional overwhelm is awareness and since he no longer has alcohol in his system it is easier for him to be aware of what is happening. Dave is a big believer in journaling because of the connection from the hand to the head. When he puts his feelings on paper, he can see rational versus irrational thoughts.   Dave's parting piece of guidance: stay with your feelings, journal about them.   Dave is looking for internship that involves 200 hours of direct engagement of one-on-one counseling with or without supervision. If you can help, reach out to info@recoveryelevator.com.     Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down; you got to take the stairs back up. You can do this.     Café RE RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes       

Today we have Kathy. She is 57 years old from Phoenix, AZ. She took her last drink on October 21st, 2024.   Sponsors for this episode include: Better Help – 10% off of your first month   Registration for one of our best international sober travel itineraries opens today, as we are going back to Peru October 4th – 15th, 2025. We are starting off in Cusco, then head into the sacred valley, and of course we're doing the Inca Trail to Machu Picchu.   Next Monday our first ever AF Songwriting Course starts at 8pm EST. Connect with other sober musicians and improve your own song writing skills.   [02:43] Thoughts from Paul:   At the end of last week's episode, I discussed how certain chapters in our lives might be closing, particularly those involving drinking and all the associated antics. As Yung Pueblo poetically expressed, endings are a natural part of life. The universe thrives on cycles, where every beginning anticipates an eventual end. Embrace this closure, grieve it, if necessary, write a farewell letter and consign it to the flames if it helps. But remember, alongside the end of the partying comes the end of hangovers, bloating, puffy eyes, heartburn, and a myriad of other unpleasant side effects.   Let yourself mourn the end of this chapter. For me, the cessation of drinking heralded a new beginning in September 2014. Let's explore what awaits after setting the bottle aside—a life free from elevated liver enzymes.   Five months ago, I asked our Instagram followers to describe sobriety in three words. The prevailing themes were peace, energy, and presence. I can't predict your future, but I can assure you that whatever it holds, you'll face it with more vitality, tranquility, and mindfulness. This journey is far from solitary, as more Americans are reducing their alcohol intake.   So, as one party ends, another begins, brimming with the promise of a healthier, more vibrant life.   [06:09] Paul introduces Kathy:   Kathy is 57 years old, is divorced and lives in Phoenix, AZ with her husky mix named Mario. She works in big data analytics. For fun, Kathy enjoys walking her dog, hiking, riding a mountain bike, kayak and read. She enjoys memoirs, thrillers and enjoys Quit Lit.   Kathy says her drinking was in the moderate category for many years. In her forties she became part of a friend group that enjoyed drinking and spending time on the lake together. Kathy was comfortable letting her hair down and didn't have any fears of becoming an alcoholic.   Kathy did begin to question her drinking after it started noticeably affecting her sleep and how she felt the next day. She explored some Quit Lit and since her drinking didn't look like the author's, Kathy decided it wasn't bad enough to stop completely but would try to cut back a bit and skip days here and there.   When Kathy was diagnosed with early-stage breast cancer, the doctors put her on pills she couldn't drink with. It was a relief to her to have to stop, but was surprised how little support others would have for her not drinking. After her oncologist told her she could drink a little, she started drinking again. A constant cycle of ramping up and ramping down began.   After some issues with her white blood count, Kathy had to quit for three weeks awaiting a blood test. She decided to join Café RE for support to quit drinking. Kathy really identifies with gray area drinking and has found stories from other people helpful in continuing her pursuit of quitting drinking. She prefers her life without alcohol and hopes to continue. She says her sleep has improved and she looks forward to lifting weight again, traveling and being cancer-free.   Kathy's parting piece of guidance: if you're questioning it, just start talking to sober people, join Café RE, seek out more podcasts, whatever.     Recovery Elevator Alcohol is shit and we both know it. I love you guys.     Café RE RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes       

Today we have Nick. He is 41 and lives in Richfield, MN. He took his last drink on November 8th, 2023.   In one week, registration for one of our best international sober travel itineraries opens, as we are going back to Peru October 4th – 15th, 2025. We are starting off in Cusco, then head into the sacred valley, and of course we're doing the Inca Trail to Machu Picchu.   Next Monday our first ever AF Songwriting Course starts at 8pm EST. Connect with other sober musicians and improve your own song writing skills.   Sponsors for this episode include:   Better Help – 10% off of your first month   [03:19] Thoughts from Paul:   Imagine if aliens were cruising the universe and made a stop on planet Earth and they saw human beings drinking a substance that appeared to be damaging their lives.   But first, this is revealing of the power of the unconscious mind, or the paradigms in our society. If you take crack, cocaine, heroin and meth and right off the bat it's like, yeah, that will fuck your life up. But with alcohol, which has the data to show it's the most dangerous drug on the planet, it's flipped. Thankfully the correct messaging is starting to come out, but we have a way to go still.   Paul shares what he imagines would be the conversation between aliens and humans as they begin to ask questions about why we humans are consuming a toxic substance that has no health benefits and leaves them incapacitated the next morning.   [08:24] Paul introduces Nick:   Nick is married with three young children. He says he is a pop culture aficionado. He enjoys hunting, fishing, camping and spending time at their cabin a few hours away. Nick is big into fitness as well.   Being around alcohol was a normal thing for Nick growing up. He drank some in high school but hit the ground running in college with all the typical vices. He says he never had any major consequences and did well in school. The “work hard, play hard” mentality ran strong even after college.   Nick met his wife on a flight and soon after they began a long-distance relationship. Around this time Nick says his drinking was causing some negative behavior and people were noticing. A comment from his dad had Nick feeling some embarrassment so he started trying to moderate his drinking by limiting his consumption while socializing but drinking more at home alone. After attempting to moderate with the use of an app, Nick found himself drinking more in secret. He and his wife would have conversations about it, but he wasn't ready to quit. Nick was hiding bottles of alcohol throughout the house and drinking daily and going out less, so it wasn't as obvious to others that he had an issue. It was a constant battle in his mind.   One afternoon, Nick drove with his wife to pick up their daughter from preschool. When he came out of the school, his wife had taken the driver's seat. He had driven to the school drunk, and she decided enough was enough. She took them to the police station and had him arrested. When he came by the house the next day he expected her to kick him out but instead she hugged him and shared she just wanted him to get better.   Nick was able to stay sober for three months, but wasn't doing it for himself so it didn't stick. His drinking ended up worse than ever after that until he finally hit rock bottom. He wasn't doing well physically or mentally at this point. He woke one morning and decided to go to treatment that week.   Nick threw himself into treatment and experimented with several modalities. In the past he was resistant to AA but now embraces it as an abundant resource and enjoys the community. Nick's health has greatly improved, and he has been able to get off of all medications in addition to ditching the booze. Fitness is his medicine now, Nick says.   Nick's parting piece of guidance: You can do it. Do it for yourself, don't do it for someone else.   Recovery Elevator Alcohol is shit and we both know it. I love you guys.     Café RE RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes       

Episode 518 – Your Idea of Good Evolves   Today we have Ashley. She's 25 years old from Spokane, WA and took her last drink on September 22nd, 2024.   Sponsor for this episode:   Better Help – 10% off your first month   This February, we are doing our first ever alcohol-free singer-songwriter course. In this six-week course you're going to connect with other sober musicians. You're going to improve your songwriting skills and hear from professional musicians. We will all write our own songs which we will share in the last week.   Registration is open for Recovery Elevator's first ever Men's Retreat will be April 5th through the 12th in Costa Rica.   [03:17] Thoughts from Paul:   Quoting Yung Pueblo, “Maturity is knowing that endings are a part of life. Jobs change, who you hang out with changes. Your idea of what is ‘good' evolves. An ending is a sign that you're opening a new chapter.”   There's a saying in this space that we stop maturing when our drinking becomes problematic. When alcohol begins to take over every aspect in our lives, our maturation is halted. Our idea of what is good evolves, but it doesn't evolve when we keep labeling booze as a good time.   Start using your brain to build your alcohol-free life in your mind. Eventually the universe will line up to make this happen, in fact, it's already happening. Think about the podcast you are listening to and how you got here. You're probably way further down this journey than you think.   [07:30] Paul introduces Ashley:   Ashley lives in Spokane, WA and works for a cleaning business. She enjoys crafting and journaling. Right now she is working on a scrapbook that looks like a Vision Board for 2025.   Ashley says she didn't really drink until college. When COVID shut everything down in 2020, Ashley was a junior in college and had just turned 21. She was living alone in a studio apartment and got to drink the way that she wanted to drink. When she noticed her drinking ramp up, she started to cut it back a bit.   After the shutdown was lifted, Ashley started bartending and didn't want to drink much on the job. That shifted a bit when she changed jobs and was working at a brewery where she and other coworkers would take drinking breaks while on their shift. Over time she recognized she was drinking too much and tried to moderate at least at work.   Ashley began to recognize that she didn't like that she was becoming very cynical while at this job. She talked to her partner about it, and he encouraged her to leave the job since it was affecting her so negatively. Ashley took the time off after quitting to do whatever she wanted and saw her drinking increase. She would hide her bottles so her partner wouldn't see how much she was actually drinking.   On the day of her last drink, Ashley and her partner had gone out and bar hopped. Ashley ended up blacking out and when she woke up, her partner was gone. She could not remember most of the night before and wasn't sure  what was going to happen next but knew she could no longer drink.   Ashley says the first two days were full of anxiety, but she just focused on one day at a time. She distracted herself with movies and video games. At therapy that week, she shared where she was with alcohol for the first time. Her therapist recommended the I Am Sober app which Ashley found very helpful. The cravings have decreased over the last few months and when they do happen, she plays the tape forward. Since quitting Ashley says her depression and anxiety has reduced dramatically. She has more energy, and her routines have become more consistent. Ashley is happy to find she can still socialize even without alcohol.   Ashley's parting piece of guidance: it is important for you to look inside yourself and see if it's actually something you want to do or if you're afraid to do it, maybe look into why you're afraid to do it.   Recovery Elevator Rule 22, let's lighten up, not take ourselves too seriously. I love you guys. We can do this.   RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes       

Episode 517 – Protect Your Sobriety Like it's Your Kid   Today we have Cindy. She is 36 years old, lives in Los Angeles, CA and took her last drink on December 31st, 2023.   Sponsor for this episode:   Better Help – 10% off your first month   Café RE is THE social app for sober people. If you are struggling to meet people who no longer drink alcohol, then this community app is for you. Yes, it is mostly online, but we've got a bunch of in-person meetups on the calendar.   This February, we are doing our first ever alcohol-free singer-songwriter course. In this six-week course you're going to connect with other sober musicians. You're going to improve your songwriting skills and hear from professional musicians. We will all write our own songs which we will share in the last week.   [03:11 Thoughts from Paul:   A member of Café RE shared that their therapist told them to protect their own sobriety like it was one of their own children, especially in the delicate stages at the beginning. Everything good that comes your way in life will be anchored to your sobriety.   This seed, that perhaps today is tender, raw and vulnerable, can grow up to provide shade for others. This seed that you are nurturing will provide life, care and love to others in the very near future. This may seem like a lot of pressure, but here's the cool thing: we are not worried about watering the seed tomorrow, we're taking it one day at a time. That's it.   Listeners, thank you for being here, together we are infinitely stronger.   [06:40] Paul introduces Cindy:   Cindy is 36 years old and lives outside the city of LA. She works in a hospital and has been with her husband for 13 years. They have a cat named Murphy.   Cindy recalls her first real experience with alcohol was when she was 14 or 15. Her friend knew someone who was visiting, and they had a hotel room. While there she drank a whole glass of vodka straight because she didn't know how to drink. The night was a disaster, Cindy says. From that point on Cindy says she never had an off switch.   After high school Cindy started working and taking classes at a community college. She discovered the party scene, had a fake ID and knew people that could get her into clubs. When she was 20, Cindy first voiced her thoughts that she had a problem with alcohol. Her friend reassured her that they were young and that's what young people do.   After meeting her husband, they bonded over going out to new restaurants and bars together. Cindy says her drinking calmed down a bit because she had someone to help her rein it in. The moderation attempts started at this point in time.   In 2017, Cindy fell into a deep depression. She says nothing specific triggered it, but says alcohol had a lot to do with it. One evening she called the suicide hotline just to talk to someone and came to realize it was time for some therapy. Her current therapist is the first person she told about her alcohol problem since she was 20. She says talk therapy is helpful for seeing a different perspective.   Before quitting drinking, Cindy's schooling required her to attend different meetings. She says it was an eye-opening experience. Soon after, Cindy committed to Dry January. She looks back at the first 30 days and uses it as motivation to keep going. Her advice to people that are currently doing Dry January is to play the tape forward and consider what it might look like if they drink again.   Cindy says her anxiety has decreased and she has learned to be kinder to herself. She tries to just take one task at a time and ask, “what things do I need to take care of today?” Focusing on the present moment and meditation has helped her a lot in addition to therapy and time at the beach.   Cindy's parting piece of guidance: if you have an inkling that anything is an issue, listen to that voice – your gut instinct is telling you something.   Recovery Elevator We took the elevator down, you gotta take the stairs back up. I love you guys.   RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes       

Episode 516 – The Source of Pain   Today we have Hattie. She is 34 years old from South London, UK, and she took her last drink on April 25th, 2021.   Sponsors for this episode include:   Better Help – 10% off your first month   Sober Link - get a promo code for $50 off of the device.   Registration is open for Recovery Elevator's first ever Men's Retreat will be April 5th through the 12th in Costa Rica. We've got space for 12 guys.   Café RE is THE social app for sober people. If you are struggling to meet people who no longer drink alcohol, then this community app is for you. Yes, it is mostly online, but we've got a bunch of in-person meetups on the calendar.   [03:57] Thoughts from Paul:   Ask the Magic 8 Ball “is alcohol the primary source of my pain?” and the responses will be “it is certain” “it is decidedly so” “without a doubt” and “yes, definitely”.   Of course, alcohol is causing the pain. It's the most destructive and addictive substance on the planet and for some strange reason it's still in our face daily with advertising everywhere.   You want to start viewing alcohol similarly to how you would look at a moldy, half-eaten hoagie sandwich on a park bench: you wouldn't touch that sandwich, let alone eat it. The tricky part is that our addiction lies to us in our own voice and do it's best to convince you that alcohol is the source of relief rather than pain. Which it can be at first, but inevitably that doesn't last long.   But your life is not over when you quit drinking. A better chapter is just beginning.   [09:24] Paul introduces Hattie:   Hattie grew up in a place called New Forest where there are wild ponies and pigs. She now lives in London with her husband and two young children. Hattie works in sustainability and also has set up Sober Happy Free on Instagram and TikTok sharing her story around sobriety.   Hattie says she took her first drink at 14. Her alcohol seeking behavior began quickly thereafter. She says alcohol helped her with confidence and feeling comfortable with herself. Drinking was more of a need than a want, she says. She says at this age it was easy to consider the drinking normal but knew that drinking alone or secretly would be a problem.   When Hattie was around 26, she was introduced to cocaine which allowed her to drink more and drink longer. Hattie says she did not have any authentic connections with people at this time. There was not a corner of her life that alcohol didn't touch.   Even once getting pregnant, which she and her husband were trying to do, she looked at the test and wondered “how on earth am I not going to drink?” Hattie made it through the pregnancy but was drinking as soon as she could after and says she was right back where she started.   Seeing a lot of people talking about Dry January online inspired Hattie to give it a try. She continued after the month ended, but never planned to quit entirely and was planning dates that she would allow herself to drink. Hattie got a sobriety coach and ended up not drinking for four months. The day that she decided to have a drink, she found herself on the phone with a friend who was in AA saying she couldn't do it anymore.   Hattie joined AA and found community. She still stays involved in it now at over three years sober. She has a sponsor, and they worked through the 12 steps together. Hattie's advice around AA is to go into it with an open mind.   For Hattie, year one was about changing her lifestyle. Year two was more about discovery as she tried new hobbies and experiences. Hattie says year three has been about giving back to the community by way of chairing meetings and starting her sober social media accounts. She is passionate about breaking the stigma of alcohol abuse.   Hattie's parting piece of guidance:  If alcohol is dominating your life or playing a negative role in it, the best thing you can do is get sober.   Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down, you've gotta take the stairs back up. We can do this.   RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes       

Episode 515 – The Joys of Detox   Today we have Patrick. He's 43 years old from Montreal, Quebec and took his last drink on November 11th, 2024.   Join Recovery Elevator for our Restore Dry January course. This is our most intensive course, and it's all about accountability. This is the best setup we've had yet for this course as participants get access to all of Café RE, including the chats and the community when they sign up for the course.   Recovery Elevator's first ever Men's Retreat will be April 5th through the 12th in Costa Rica. We've got space for 12 guys. Registration for this event opens December 30th at 8AM EST.   AG1 – offering new subscribers a free $76 gift when you sign up   [3:58] Thoughts from Paul:   **DISCLAIMER** alcohol is the most dangerous substance to detox rom. Listen to your body and seek medical attention if you think you need to.   It doesn't matter what you're eliminating from your diet, the body does not like change. Studies have shown that when we take that first step forward in making change, the body can and will create chemicals of discomfort to pull you back into your comfort zone.   Part of the withdrawal from alcohol is your dopamine center learning how to create it's own dopamine again, but much of this discomfort is your body rebuking any change whatsoever. Yes, there will be some discomfort but after doing Recovery Elevator for ten years, Paul says that not one person he has met has regretted there decision to quit drinking. It's a one-way street once you begin to feel and see the benefits.   [7:57] Paul introduces Patrick:   Patrick is 43 years old and lives in Montreal, Quebec. He works in the administrative field at a hospital, and he enjoys running (5k every day), spending time with his friends and watching TV.   Patrick says he was born prematurely and wants to share that Fetal Alcohol Disorder exists. Both of his parents were alcoholics, and he had to parent them early in his life. At the age of 13, Patrick became responsible for his mother's care when she was diagnosed with Korsakoff Syndrome. He tried to help get her sober, but she was unable to and she ended up passing when she was 42 and Patrick was 16.   Patrick says that while in school he drank mainly on the weekends with friends. After school he moved to Montreal and says that drinking was glorified in his community. This continued until his mid thirties when he met someone and fell in love. His drinking stopped without him noticing.   Their relationship changed when his partner decided to move to the US. They ended the romantic relationship but remained close friends. Not long after COVID hit, Patrick and his friend were talking on the phone, and his friend told him that he was struggling with addiction. Patrick was planning to meet up with him and talk about their common issues, but unfortunately his friend passed away from an overdose.   Not being able to have any closure after his friends passing, Patrick's drinking picked up from functional to full time. He started to recognize his mother in himself and decided to quit drinking cold turkey. This lasted for several months but then he landed back where he was.   This November Patrick quit again and says this time he feels more stable. He has sought assistance from doctors and attends 12 step meetings along with mediation and running. He realizes that one drink is not an option. In order to reinforce the plan to stay sober, Patrick meditates and has learned to say “no” to events that will challenge his sobriety, he is avoiding places where he used to purchase alcohol, he has friends he can call on and he does at least seven meetings each week.   Patrick's parting piece of guidance: listen to your inner voice. Give 12 step meetings a try. Have an open mind and listen. You'll learn about others and most importantly, you learn about yourself.   Recovery Elevator Go big, because eventually we'll all go home. I love you guys.     Café RE RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes       

Episode 514 – A Drinking Problem is Totally Normal   Today we have Erin. She is 50 years old from Denver, CO and took her last drink on August 21st, 2023.   Registration for Dry January is now open. This is our most intensive course, and it's all about accountability. If you've been trying to quit drinking and haven't found success, it's most likely you're not surrounded by the right people or don't have community. Over 70% of our Restore Dry January participants report making it through January without taking a drink.   Café RE is the social app for sober people. We meet over 30 times a month online with our daily chats covering all different topics or specialty chats. If you're looking for accountability with others who are ditching the booze or have already done so, we'd love to have you.   [02:48] Thoughts from Paul:   Paul's opinion is that a drinking problem is a normal response to living in a culture that has completely lost its marbles. Most anthropologists believe that addiction is a modern phenomenon that stems from how we are living as a culture.   Eckhart Tolle in his book A New Earth says that what we have labeled as “normal” regarding our culture is actually completely insane.   Gabor Mate recently wrote The Myth of Normal about how our culture is toxic and right for addiction. According to Dr. Mate, addiction isn't a disease but a completely normal response to living in a fucked-up world.   Your drinking problem is not your fault. It is a response to a fractured world. You found a solution, a way to cope and it worked for a while. As Laura McKowen says, “it's not your fault but it is your responsibility”.   Listening to a sobriety podcast is part of you taking that responsibility.   [08:08] Paul introduces Erin:   Erin is 50 years old and divides her time between Colorado and Costa Rica. She has been married for 26 years and they have three college age children. Erin has a yoga business where she films YouTube videos, hosts retreats and does yoga teacher training.   Erin says her drinking was “normal” throughout high school and college. After graduating from college, she and her boyfriend moved to Maui and had jobs in the restaurant industry. She still feels her drinking was normal compared to her friends and lifestyle.   They soon moved back to Colorado, got married and started a family. Erin didn't drink throughout her pregnancies and didn't feel she was missing out initially. After moving into a neighborhood with other young families like there, drinking became a social activity, and Erin began to recognize she drank more and had a higher tolerance than others.   In her mid-forties, Erin started going through perimenopause and it was hard on her. She began using alcohol to self-medicate. Because of her job, she felt she was living out of alignment with her values. In spite of her drinking being a huge topic with her therapist, she was not ready to seek treatment. She attempted to quit on her own and says she white knuckled for five months before going back to drinking, quickly back to where she was before quitting.   When her husband and her friends tried to intervene, she was angry. They had already arranged everything, and Erin ended up going to rehab and in spite of her fear, ended up being a great experience.   Erin says they focused on healing the whole person, and once she realized for the first time that she was not alone, she felt the shame and fear lift. It was a small community, and they participated in a lot of modalities for healing. The education was a helpful part of the process.   Erin dove into books, podcasts, attended AA meetings, and joined Café RE which she considers her primary resource. Erin says her yoga practice has contributed to her healing.   Erin's parting piece of guidance: If you are thinking you can't do it, you can. It's possible and worth every single second of pain.   Recovery Elevator It all starts from the inside out. I love you guys.     RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes       

Episode 513 - 10 Things to do Daily   Today we have Forrest. He is 31 years old from Atlanta, GA and took his last drink on March 14th, 2022.   Sponsors for this episode:   Visit Sober Link to learn more and to get a promo code for $50 off of the device.   Registration for Dry January is now open. This course is all about accountability, connection, and having fun. We come together 14 times in the month of January via Zoom, and you'll also find yourself in smaller breakout rooms where you can connect with others who are ditching the booze.   If you enjoy the Recovery Elevator podcast, please help spread the word by leaving a review wherever you listen from.   [03:38] Thoughts from Paul:   Paul shares a list of recommendations of little things to dry and do daily. The best way to make change in your life is with small, intentional steps towards your goal.   1)    Water – at least once per day, drink as much water as you can. Dehydration causes a lot of our fatigue later in the day.   2)    Meditation – for a few minutes each day, turn your gaze inward.   3)    Posture – stand up, pull your shoulders back, arch your back, look to the sky and hold it for 30 seconds.   4)    Fuel – make a point to eat one healthy item daily and be conscious about it.   5)    Movement – five minutes of light to moderate movement each day.   6)    Nothing – literally, do nothing. Start slow with as little as one minute.   7)    Play – try new hobbies or rediscover old ones.   8)    Learn and grow – read a book or watch a YouTube video about something that interests you.   9)    Connect with another human being – Ideally one you can be yourself around.   10)  Make someone else's life better - A tremendous amount of happiness will come to you when you help someone else out.     [10:28] Paul introduces Forrest:   Forrest grew up in a household where alcohol was present, but he was never exposed to overindulgence. He also had little interest in trying it and says he didn't have his first drink until late freshman year of college where it was a beer pong situation. Forrest says his drinking during college looked very normal.   After graduating, Forrest found himself with a corporate job and the happy hours that came with it. Between the happy hours several days of the week and the shenanigans he pursued with his other friends in their early twenties, Forrest started to notice his alcohol consumption increase. After a few occasions of questioning himself about the previous nights, a voice told him that he wasn't ready to quit, but he definitely needed to start moderating.   After attempting moderation for a while, Forrest determined it was not helping. The process of quitting started for Forrest when he joined a health challenge with a friend. It wasn't long into the challenge when he started noticing some benefits but returned to his old habits after 45 days and ended up back where he was when he began. Forrest began to negotiate with himself that after his birthday, he would try to go alcohol free again. It was March when he looked at himself and realized he needed to quit for at least a year.   Forrest started reading a lot of quit lit and listening to podcasts. Learning the science behind alcohol use disorder was very helpful for Forrest. Within the first year of quitting drinking, Forrest lost 60 pounds and was seeing many other positive changes in his body. He started finding physical activity easier and began to enjoy it again.   Forrest's parting piece of guidance: if there is something in your mind that gives you an inkling that you need to question your alcohol consumption habits, there is nothing wrong with seeking knowledge, doing research, and you might come across a journey that you didn't necessarily know was in your future.   Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down; you got to take the stairs back up. I love you guys. We are doing this.     RE merch Café RE Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes       

Episode 512 – Side Effects of Sobriety   Today we have Tammy. She is 61 years old from San Diego, CA. She took her last drink on September 6th, 2021.   Sponsors for this episode:   Better Help  - code ELEVATOR for 10% off of your first month   Registration for Dry January is now open. When you sign up for Restore, you not only get access to the course, but you also get access to the whole Café RE community. If you sign up in December, you get access to the community for the rest of December and all of January. This is Recovery Elevator most intensive alcohol-free course. We will meet 14 times in January and it's all about accountability.   Free Relapse Prevention Plan   [04:26] Thoughts from Paul:   Paul recently came across a post from someone who recently quit drinking, and they included a list of things they no longer suffer from. Or this could be said that these are the possible side effects of sobriety.   Paul shares the extensive list ranging from the loss of anxiety and depression to improvements to their body – both functions and appearance.   Life is hard in the first place, and you layer on just a couple of the ailments listed, then you're living life in hard mode. That list really drives the point home that alcohol is taking way more than it is giving.   Paul is a big fan of pen to paper, pro and con sheets, all that jazz. He suggests writing down for yourself what you've experienced when you take some time off booze and imagines it's going to look similar to the list he just shared.   [08:30] Paul introduces Tammy:   Tammy is 61 years old and lives near San Diego. She is married and together they have six adult children. She worked in advertising before having children and after they were older, she became a real estate agent. For fun, Tammy started writing a book about her alcohol-free journey, and also enjoys researching her ancestry.   Tammy says her drinking began as typical binge drinking on the weekends in high school and then escalated a bit in college. After graduating she began to work in advertising where drinking during the day was normal. Tammy's drinking cut back after she started having her children. She says she didn't drink very often while raising her daughters.   After turning 40, Tammy began allowing herself a glass of wine at the end of the day. It was used as a reward for making it through the day with three young children. After the financial crisis, Tammy and her husband had to sell their dream house. There was a lot of strain on their marriage as well and they eventually divorced. Finding herself alone raising three daughters, Tammy would start drinking more.   After she began dating her current husband, Tammy says her drinking slowed down. He was sober but didn't mind that she drank. After a while they got engaged and moved in together. Tammy says things were going great and then COVID lockdown found the family coming and going a lot, and it was a party all the time. She was exhausted all the time and even though she knew it was due to her drinking she wasn't ready to quit. Over the summer after their wedding, she had some failed moderation attempts and there were a lot of birthday parties. After the last party around Labor Day, Tammy had a moment of clarity where she knew she had to quit.   After Tammy had quit, she started reading books and listening to podcasts. She wasn't interested in AA although she does see it's value and it helped her husband. The scientific information blew her away, Tammy says. She slept a lot in the first month of sobriety. After that, she began to notice her general health was improving. The value of hearing people's stories on podcasts has helped Tammy a lot. By writing her book, she wants to help lift people up and show them the way.   Tammy's parting piece of guidance: get quiet and just listen to yourself and believe in yourself.   Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down; you got to take the stairs back up. We can do this. I love you guys.     RE merch Café RE Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes   

Episode 511 - How to Market Alcohol   Today we have Arlina. She is 55 years old from Boise, ID and took her last drink 30 years ago.   Restore – registration opens Monday December 2nd. This is Recovery Elevator's most intensive AF course for someone looking for extra accountability for Dry January.   Recovery Elevator's first ever AF Songwriting course will be in February 2025. During the six-week course, participants will write, edit and perfect a song that you'll perform for the cohort in week six.   Sponsors for this episode:   Better Help  - code ELEVATOR for 10% off of your first month     [03:09] Thoughts from Paul:   When Dr. David Nut, a British researcher was tasked by the government to put a harm score on 20 of the world's drugs, it wasn't crack, heroin, meth or cocaine in the number one spot. It was alcohol. Especially when looking at the economic impact.   Paul says that when he becomes president, he would not attempt prohibition, which was an epic fail in the early 20th century. But he would promote education about the effects of alcohol early and often focusing on the fact that NONE is the healthiest amount to drink.   Also up to be reformed would be taxes, advertising, labeling and taking responsibility for it's trash and recovery for those affected by their product.   [08:02] Paul introduces Arlina:   Arlina has been sober since April of 1994 when she was 25 years old. Arlina was also a guest on Episode 232 five years ago. She grew up in California but now lives in Idaho. Arlina spent time working as an account executive for both large and small companies, but now enjoys crafty things and making soap. She is married and they have two grown sons and an English bulldog.   Early childhood was difficult for Arlina. After some traumatic events, the idea that something was wrong with her was instilled in her. Arlina began to feel like if she couldn't be good, she could be good at being bad. Her first drink happened when she was around 9 years old when she had the urge to escape her feelings. Drugs and alcohol anesthetized her pain. Binge drinking was what Arlina did most of her drinking career and says that it was fun at first, then became fun with problems, and finally it was just problems. She says she didn't have connection with herself, so she was seeking external validation through her drinking.   Two years before quitting, Arlina knew she had a problem and didn't want abstinence to be the solution, so she tried moderation for a while. Eventually she was able to quit drinking, but it was a few more months before she realized that marijuana caused the same issues for her, and she quit that as well. Arlina shares some concepts from the book What Happened to You? The main concept being that our coping mechanisms used when we are young are repurposed when we are older. She says she has done and continues to do a lot of work to help her stay away from the default.   Arlina has recently written a book called The 12 Step Guide for Skeptics. She hopes with this book that she will show others that the 12-step process is a worthwhile process for everyone.   Arlina still goes to AA meetings even after thirty years of sobriety because it fulfills several things for her. The need for connection, the need for service, review of the information that got her sober and it gives her a place to process her feelings   Arlina's parting piece of guidance: all the answers are inside of you. Be kind to yourself and just be patient.   Sober Life School The 12 Step Guide For Skeptics One Day at a Time   [49:58] Outro:   This podcast isn't about demonizing alcohol, but we also don't want to keep our head in the sand. And if we have an opportunity and platform to speak our mind to make positive change, then we have to do it.   Keep showing up, I love you guys.   Recovery Elevator We took the elevator down; we got to take the stairs back up. We can do this.     RE merch Café RE Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes       

Episode 510 – Alcohol Policy   Today we have Kevin. He is 42 years old, from Fresno, CA and is celebrating 500 days at the time of this recording.   Sponsors for this episode:   Better Help  - code ELEVATOR for 10% off of your first month   AG1 – free gift with your first subscriptions, in addition to their Welcome Kit.   Restore – registration opens Monday December 2nd. This is Recovery Elevator's most intensive AF course for someone looking for extra accountability for Dry January.   [03:34] Thoughts from Paul:   Happy Thanksgiving Week!  Life is not perfect but there is so much to be thankful about. Paul shares that when a sponsor first challenged him to write down five things he was grateful for each day, he could not do it. Nowadays he recognizes so much to be thankful for.   This entire week is all about gratitude and giving thanks. This is a tradition in our modern culture that tells us to come together as a family and give thanks. Plus, there's pumpkin pie.     A tip to help you stay sober this Thursday and throughout the week: create accountability, AKA, Burn the Ships. It doesn't have to be with everyone in your family, but at least somebody who isn't your dog has to know you won't be drinking. And don't forget to bring your own drink of choice to any gathering you attend.   [08:32] Paul introduces Kevin:   Kevin is 42 and lives in the Fresno area. He owns and operates a commercial landscape business. He is married and has one daughter in college and a son in third grade. For fun, he enjoys nature, reading, CrossFit, playing golf and coaching his son's sports teams.   Kevin says he first drank in high school, and it was the typical weekends and parties, but nothing too dramatic. In college it turned into regular Thursday through Saturday thing. He equated drinking with a good time and doesn't really have many regrets.   Right before Kevin's senior year of college, he found out his long-time girlfriend was pregnant. They ended up getting married and Kevin went on to finish college. Shortly after his daughter was born, he completed college, and his wife and daughter moved in with him. Drinking became a reward for him and happy hours were commonplace. At one point he recalls telling a coworker he needed to quit drinking during the week. This was his first thought about moderating. He says it didn't stick.   Kevin's wife was his drinking partner and when she decided to quit for health reasons, Kevin opted to continue. Over time, it strained their relationship, and she would ask him to cut back and moderate. Kevin would try, but it wouldn't last long. He started to realize it was a problem when he was concealing some of his drinks so that she wouldn't know how much he had.   After discovering the RE podcast, Kevin didn't initially hear anyone he identified with. Once he did, however, he realized that he was not alone with the issues he was having. He knew he had to quit but wasn't sure when. Kevin didn't think AA would be for him. He eventually went to some meetings and would get a little time away from alcohol but would go right back to it mainly in isolation. The cycle continued for a while.   Now with 500 days, Kevin reflects that initially focused on how he could get to 200 days instead of the day in front of him. He had to really embrace AA in order to change his thinking. Taking things one day at a time and being present has become important to Kevin. Acknowledging and moving past some resentments was very helpful for him.   Since ditching the booze, Kevin says that he is able to deal with whatever happens in life without the need to numb. He has a lot less anxiety and stress about things and has more confidence that alcohol will not fix things for him.   Kevin's parting piece of guidance: don't quit quitting.   Recovery Elevator We took the elevator down; we got to take the stairs back up. We can do this. I love you guys.     RE merch Café RE Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes       

Episode 509 – It's a Sobriety Problem   Today we have Nicole. She is 46 years old from Fairfax, VA. She took her last drink on May 18th, 2023.   If you are seeking community on your alcohol-free journey, Café RE is just the place. We have been off Facebook for over a month, and we love our new home. In addition, we are also a non-profit. We would love to see you there!   Restore – registration opens Monday December 2nd. This is Recovery Elevator's most intensive AF course for someone looking for extra accountability for Dry January.   Sponsors for this episode:   Better Help  - code ELEVATOR for 10% off of your first month   [03:32] Thoughts from Paul:   Paul is always saving lines or notes that he would like to use in future podcasts. Today he reads a bunch of those that haven't quite found a home yet. This includes random stats, some of the consequences of drinking, how alcohol affects us, and that connection is an important component in our lives regardless of addiction status.   [09:02] Paul introduces Nicole:   Nicole lives in northern Virginia with her partner. They have three cats, one dog and three horses. Nicole and her partner both participate in dressage and eventing. She enjoys running marathons.   Nicole says she did not start drinking when she was young. When she was in her late teens she started a 12 year long modeling career. Due to the weight restrictions around her modeling contract, she says she could not afford the calories from alcohol.   Her drinking began when she was in grad school in her 30s. She began casually drinking with some friends and was always a little leery of alcohol with an unexplainable concern that she might develop a problem but ignored it. COVID definitely had an impact on her. Around that time, she was also going through a divorce and her father had developed some chronic health issues.   Nicole feels she had control of her drinking for five to seven years and reflects that it's like you have control of it until you don't. She says she wasn't the type to drink to excess which allowed her to compare herself to others and believed she didn't have a problem. Ignoring the red flags in her drinking habits, it was when Nicole caught herself shaking while trying to sign in to a work conference that she realized she was having consequences. Because she minored in addiction studies, she feels that knowledge pushed her to observe herself and her drinking.   Nicole decided to try to cut back on her drinking like she did with smoking. She was not able to successfully do it. She was beginning to realize she had to drink even when she didn't want to. Nicole started looking into outpatient rehab and no one would take her because she was having shakes. She reluctantly went to inpatient rehab with the plan of staying for one week. Nicole ended up doing the full 30 days after realizing she could not do this alone. She uses Vivitrol (Naltrexone) and is a proponent of medical treatment for addictions.   Nicole didn't do AA having a hard time wrapping her ideas around it. She chose therapy and SMART recovery. Her background in science has helped her understand possible triggers. She finds having a plan very important to avoid boredom, which she learned is a trigger for her. Nicole feels that the intensity of the coping mechanism needs to match the intensity of the craving.   Nicole's parting piece of guidance: you are not alone, be pro-choice in your recovery, try to trust yourself a little bit.   [00:00] Outro:   If there is a question that you would like to have Paul answer on the air of the RE podcast, record a voice memo and email it to info@recoveryelevator.com. We will select a coup for Paul to answer on the air.   Recovery Elevator We took the elevator down; we got to take the stairs back up. We can do this.     RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes       

Episode 508 – Your Job is to Have Fun   Today we have Fanny. She is 39 years old and lives in Wilmington, NC. She took her last drink on February 3rd, 2021.   Recovery Elevator is going back to Peru in October 2025. On this 10-night, 11-day trip of a lifetime, we will be hiking the Inca Trail and participating in two service projects. Registration opens January 13th and closes May 30th in order to secure tickets to the Inca Trail.   Sponsors for this episode:   Better Help  - code ELEVATOR for 10% off of your first month   Sober Link - $50 off of device using this link   [01:43] Intro:   Better Rhodes recently sent Paul a couple of drinks to sample, and he shares that they were all fantastic. Gone are the days when O'Doul's was the only alcohol-free option around.  Paul says his favorite was Hiyo.   Better Rhodes – code RECOVERYELEVATOR15   [04:05] More thoughts from Paul:   Paul shares an article called Benefits of Play for Adults that shares the importance of being playful as adults. Remember that as a child, you were naturally playful without alcohol. Somewhere along the way we forget how to be playful and then we link alcohol with having fun.   This is great news for healing. Just like some of us have goals to hit a certain amount of steps in our day, you should aim to have at least a certain amount of laughs. Laughter is the best medicine and some of the side effects may be a boost to your immune system, release of endorphins, reduction of stress and anxiety and improvement of mood.   Your job, listeners, is to have fun. The healing pathway will contain challenges, but overall, it cannot be more stressful or boring than when you were drinking. You need to have fun and please don't take yourself too seriously at any moment on this journey.   [09:48] Paul introduces Fanny:   Fanny has lived in NC most of her life and recently proposed to her fiancé who she plans to marry in March. For her profession, she says it's all things food. Recipe developer, food writer and content creator. For fun, Fanny enjoys outside activities such as biking, hiking and walking her dogs.   During high school and college, Fanny says she drank like any other college kid and always enjoyed a party. Over time, Fanny found herself using alcohol to push down negativity and some lingering questions about her sexuality.   When Fanny moved to California for a while, she said drinking was fun again. She says she learned a lot about herself there including that she didn't want to be an actress, her real passion was food, and she found herself wanting to return to North Carolina.   After moving back, Fanny met someone, and they eventually married. Drinking was a big part of their lifestyle. They moved to Illinois for his job right before the pandemic and found themselves isolated without family and friends. Fanny says the drinking ramped up and there were some incidents that gave her a lot of guilt and shame. They eventually divorced and Fanny moved back to NC.   Fanny started a relationship with a friend from college who expressed their concerns over drinking because their ex had an issue. Fanny assured her that she was not like she was in college. After a two-day bender, it was Fanny's girlfriend that helped her call her parents and get some help. Fanny was able to find a rehab in Western NC with the help of her therapist.   Fanny says the first few days were tough, but eventually she settled in and became a sponge trying to learn everything about the addiction. Through her rehab she was exposed to several different recovery modalities and found she enjoys Recovery Dharma the most. She really identifies and enjoys the Buddhist perspective on recovery.   Recovery Elevator We took the elevator down; we got to take the stairs back up. We can do this.     Café RE  - promo code OPPORTUNITY waives the set up fee RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes       

Episode 507 - Why the First 30 Days Can be Rough   Today we have Jason. He is 56 years old and from Minneapolis, MN. He took his last drink on December 31st, 2021.   Sponsors for this episode:   Better Help  - code ELEVATOR for 10% off of your first month   [01:06] Intro:   In today's episode you are going to hear Jason say that he doesn't identify as an alcoholic. How many alcoholics do you think have been interviewed on the podcast? Paul says the answer is zero.   Zero because whenever people hear the word alcoholic, the first things that come to mind are homeless, living under a bridge, brown paper bag. Zero guests have fit this description.   Studies show that only 5% of alcoholics are actually homeless, living under a bridge, etc. However we are all walking the same path regardless of how far it takes us.   It's never too late to get help, and we've got your back. The real villain here is alcohol, not the addict. In 2024, you can be alcohol-free, you can be sober, you can be sober curious, you can be an alcoholic in recovery. At the end of the day it's all about getting honest with yourself.   [04:16] More thoughts from Paul:   Drinking can be challenging in the first 30 days. Paul shares with us a piece about this that uses an analogy comparing our brain and neurotransmitters to toy boxes and toys.   During recovery, our brain is resetting itelf now that the alcohol is halted. This will take time. A couple of week to a couple of months. Go slow, be kind to yourself and let the body heal. Your part is not drinking, and the universe solves the other part which is time.   [07:36] Paul introduces Jason:   Jason has lived in Minnesota all of his lfe, currently in Minneapolis. He is married with two sons, 14 and 12. He works in sales. Jason says for fun, he is getting into golf and he is a pilot who enjoys flying for fun as well as for business.   Jason says he had his first drink as a junior in high school. It wasn't a remarkable event but he ended up becoming a typical drinker: parties and weekends, etc. He got married when he was 21 to his first wife, and she did not drink. Therefore Jason didn't drink much during his 20s. The company he worked in sales for, had a big drinking culture that Jason started to get more involved in. Around the same time his marriage wasn't working out and he found himself divorced and drinking more often afterwards. At the time it didn't feel out of control although in hindsight Jason feels it was excessive – almost daily and every weekend complete with hangovers.   In his 40s Jason met his current wife who is a social drinker. His drinking continued, but he did begin to question it. He began to try a lot of methods of moderations, some of them worked for him but it became exhausting after doing it for about five years. On December 17th of 2021, he had decided he was going to quit. He says he drank a lot for the first week or so after that as a reminder to himself of how bad it was.   On New Year's Eve, Jason had two beers and ended up dumping out half of his third. He was done. Jason said the first month went well and the biggest thing he missed was having something to look forward to. Once he made the decision it wasn't that hard for Jason.   Jason shares that he read a lot and listened to podcasts which really helped him. He mentions the book Almost Alcoholic which helped him identify that he was in the middle ground with his drinking.  Jason has had no desire to return to drinking and his cravings were few and far between over the last nearly three years. Going forward, Jason wants to find more hobbies and things he enjoys doing with his kids. He enjoys the subtle calm that is in his life now.   Jason's parting piece of guidance: you don't have to identify as an alcoholic for quitting to be the best option for you.   Recovery Elevator We took the elevator down, we got to take the stairs back up. I love you guys. We can do this.     Café RE  - promo code OPPORTUNITY waives the set up fee RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes       

Episode 506 – Drink Yourself Sober   Today we have James. He is 33 years old from Birmingham, UK and he took his last drink in May 30th, 2023.   Café RE is now off of Facebook and we have our own app. If you're looking for accountability with others who are ditching the booze or have already done so, we'd love to have you.   Sobertopia – a platform for all things Alcohol-Free   Drop the Bottle   Sponsors for this episode:   Better Help  - code ELEVATOR   AG1   [03:57] Thoughts from Paul:   Today's guest James said something that sparked a dormant memory for Paul, which was to drink yourself sober. Paul shares how in the summer of 2014, he knew he was quitting drinking, it was just a matter of time. He was reading quit lit and the alcohol was no longer working for him.   Trying to expedite the quitting, Paul drank with the intent to give himself more reasons to quit. Even though he does not recommend anyone do this he shares this as a reminder that paid that we listen to, embrace, and no longer run from can be one of the best teachers. It can shine light on where not to go. And pain is also the crack where the light of healing enters.   As Paul has mentioned in a recent episode – it takes what it takes, and he had to embrace the pain and even purposely step into it more in order to start the healing.   [08:52] Paul introduces James:   James is 33 years old; he works in administration at a university. He is a musician in a few bands and has been doing a lot of touring. He also enjoys reading, walking with his partner and spending time with his cats.   James shares that he doesn't remember his first drink but remembers a few occasions in his teens where he went overboard when there was free access to alcohol. He says it was clear from the start that he was “all or nothing” when it came to drinking.   Between ages 18 and 26, James worked in bars and was around alcohol a good bit. He also got introduced to other drugs but saw his usage of alcohol and drugs just part of the lifestyle. Both James and his partner had transitioned to 9-5 jobs. He says he took the lifestyle with him, but she did not. This contributed to them drifting apart. Since he was able to work hard and party hard, he didn't see an issue.   After moving to another town alone, James says there was less of a balance between work and play and on a few occasions feels he should have lost his job. If anyone ever spoke to him about his drinking, he would brush it off as he was just living in the moment and as an artist the struggle would benefit his work.   Off and on, James would moderate and was able to quit for a bit in 2020. After a little over 100 days, he felt like the monotony of the day-to-day got to him and he started drinking again. He didn't care much about his job and was somewhat relieved to be able to go to gigs with the bands and not worry about not drinking.   He ended up moving back to Birmingham and reconnecting with his partner. They moved in together with the rule that he wouldn't bring that lifestyle home. James started the job he has now and started only drinking on the weekends or at gigs with the band. Over time, he recognized that alcohol was creating a lot of problems for him and it was no longer much fun.   On May 31st James decided he had to let it go for good. It wasn't his first rodeo, so he knew what to expect. Accepting that nothing worth doing is going to be easy was helpful for him. He is making living amends with his partner and says it means more to him than he can put into words that she has been there for him through it all. James treats every day like day one and checks into sober communities often. He says he scared himself straight and keeps a mindfulness around cravings and that drinking one help anything.   James' parting piece of guidance: If you're thinking about it, you probably need to. There is no shame in falling and picking yourself back up.   Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down, got to take the stairs back up. We can do this.     RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes       

Episode 505 – What is Recovery?   Today we have Dave. He is 46 and lives in Boston. He took his last drink on March 5th, 2023.   Sponsors mentioned in this episode:   Better Help  - code ELEVATOR     There are two spots left on our next Alcohol-Free travel trip to Vietnam. This upcoming January 9th-20th, 2025, we're heading to this incredible Southeast Asia paradise for 10 days and 11 nights with 25 travelers who are done nursing hangovers.   On January 1st, 2025, join us for Dry January. We meet 14 times as a group during the moth and the session days are Sundays, Mondays and Thursdays.   And in February, we are doing out first ever alcohol-free Singer/Songwriter course. In this six week course you'll learn all about the song writing process, hear from professional musicians about how they write songs, and you'll write and perfect your own song during the course. Experience with an instrument is recommended to required as this is not a “how to play and instrument” course.   [03:32] Thoughts from Paul:   Paul shares that when he first began his alcohol-free journey, the word “recovery” was loaded for him. He initially didn't want anything to do with it and didn't really understand what it meant.   In a post from Café RE a member named Adam shared a little about what recovery means to him. Paul expands on that commenting about what recovery means to him as well. Russell Brand sums it up pretty well by saying we are “recovering the person we are meant to be.” We have no chance of doing this with alcohol in our lives, or at least, many of us don't.   There is no right or wrong way to ditch the booze and take what you want and leave the rest. Paul says he isn't suggesting building your own program from scratch at the beginning. Pick a program or community and give it your all. If there is something that scares you, that's where you need to go. Recovery is uncomfortable at first, but definite worth it.   [08:36] Paul introduces Dave:   Dave was born and raised in the Boston area. He has been married for 20 years and has two girls that are 16 and 13 years old. He enjoys all things sports including golf and spending time supporting his daughter who plays hockey. He also enjoys reading and exercise.   Dave grew up in a tight knit family with a father that had chronic illness. He says that his father's illness as well as the illnesses of other family members really shaped his life, and he never felt safe.   Dave witnessed his parents drink, but never saw them drunk. He avoided drinking throughout high school as a rule follower and it created anxiety for him when he did.   In college, he did drink a bit on the weekends, but nothing crazy. Dave says once he recognized that the drinking stopped some anxiety, that is when a problem developed. He would drink casually on the weekdays and more on the weekends. As life began to be a little more stressful after having kids, every social even revolved around having drinks. Since drinking helped him feel safe, he started doing it more frequently over time.   A health scare had Dave thinking about his drinking for the first time. He didn't quit right away but did start seeing a therapist and talking about it. He decided to quit for a while, but never committed to it long term. Dave started drinking again and it increased gradually over time. Over the next few years, it increased in quantity and frequency.   Another health event 18 months ago found Dave realizing he needed to commit to quitting. His first week was really tough with anxiety and poor sleep. Podcasts and therapy along with joining Café RE were very helpful for Dave. After several months, it was his wife that helped him realize that he is now a non-drinker. For Dave the top three benefits of being AF are a clear mind, presence and confidence.   Dave's parting piece of guidance: Just do it and stay with it.   Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down, got to take the stairs back up. You can do this.     RE on Instagram RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes       

Episode 504 – A Dopamine Feast   Today we have Don. He is 44 and lives in Clarkson, MI. He took his last drink on November 15th, 2021.   Sponsors mentioned in this episode:   Better Help  - code ELEVATOR     The theme for this podcast is I am Here, I am Whole. What does that mean? It means, that in this moment, the only moment that has ever mattered or ever existed, I choose to be here, and I will view myself as whole.   Please don't kick the can of wholeness, authenticity and self-love down the road. It has to be now.   [04:22] Thoughts from Paul:   Paul shares that he really enjoyed the book Dopamine Nation by Dr. Anna Lembke, minus one part of it that talks about a dopamine fast as a way to beat an addiction.   A recent NYT article summarizes why Paul doesn't like the dopamine fast idea. It has to do with the quote that “it's less about quitting drinking, and more about creating a life that doesn't require alcohol”. There are many healthier ways to release dopamine, such as hobbies you enjoy, that don't involve your drug of choice. Trying new things helps us release dopamine as well.   The last paragraph of the article says “consequently, America's problem isn't that we're a bunch of hedonists hooked on capitalism's dopamine hits, it's that so many of us aren't able to get our social, physical and emotional needs met in healthy ways. Instead of a dopamine fast, we need a dopamine feast - one that makes us want experiences we actually like, rather than compulsively responding to craving”.   [08:36] Paul introduces Don:   Don is an anesthesiologist, and he lives in Clarkston, MI. He started enjoying traveling since his mid-30s and has been to 30 countries, five continents and heading to Antarctica at the end of the year. Don is a big fan of sports and roots for the teams out of Detroit.   Alcohol always seemed to have a positive light around it when Don was younger. Whether it was a gathering or party the adults seemed more relaxed, happy and silly. It always seemed like something to look forward to when he got older. Being more of a goody-two-shoes, Don says, he didn't try alcohol until the summer after school ended. He recalls feeling like he was comfortable in his own skin and his racing thoughts relaxed. Don says he was immediately someone that couldn't stop drinking once he started.   Don says his 20s were spent in school and would drink heavily maybe once a month. In his 30s after graduating and feeling he achieved all of his goals, he wondered “what's next?” Don says that alcohol didn't answer the question, but it prevented him from having to answer it. Don says that he realized he was gay as a young man and never wanted to deal with it. Drinking helped him push that away too.   COVID sped up the inevitable, Don says. Having more time off work due to less surgeries being performed; Don would start drinking more on his off days. Once work became busy again, he's drinking continued where it was and started affecting his work. When Don arrived at work still drunk after a Labor Day weekend binge, he says receiving a call from his boss was relief.   When Don started rehab, he knew he was going to need to address being gay in addition to having a drinking problem. After completing rehab, Don began attending a program for health professionals that gives him the accountability he needed.   Don says AA is a big part of his life now. He says he enjoys the community and accountability. He is testing out dating to see if it's something that he wants to do. After falling in love with Costa Rica, he decided to build a house there. The greatest gift Don says he was given in sobriety is the ability to be present.   Don's parting piece of guidance: Just start. You've got to start somewhere and if that's rehab, than so be it. Take a break from your job, people will be much more supportive than you think they will.   Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down, got to take the stairs back up. I love you guys.     RE on Instagram RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes       

Episode 503 – It Takes What It Takes   Today we have Leah from Akron, OH. She took her last drink on September 4th, 2022.   Sponsors mentioned in this episode:   Better Help  - code ELEVATOR   Tonight is our first session of our Ditching the Booze Mindfulness course. It will be on Monday nights at 7:30 EST for the next five weeks. This course will teach you the basics of mindfulness and mediation. It is included with Café RE membership. Visit Café RE to sign up if you aren't already a member.   Speaking of Café RE, our community is no longer on Facebook. We have found a new home that is off social media, and it now has an app that you can find in the app stores.   [03:28] Thoughts from Paul:   The only thing harder than forgiveness is the opposite – resentments. It is important that we begin with forgiving ourselves.   It takes what it takes for you to get sober and quit drinking. There is no set pathway into and out of a drinking problem. Paul believes this is one of the reasons why alcohol-free communities are so non-judgmental, loving and accepting. Those who have quit drinking know that it takes what it takes.   Paul shares some “it takes what it takes” stories from himself and others working on their alcohol-free journey. Never quit quitting and you will find your way. It takes what it takes.   [08:20] Paul introduces Leah:   At the time of recording, Leah is celebrating 2 years alcohol-free. She grew up in Akron Ohio, she is 36 and just got married, they have a 3-month-old daughter. For fun Leah enjoys hiking, singing, hanging out with friends and spending time with her baby.   Leah shares the story of what drove her to make the decision to quit drinking. After waking up on a bench next to a river and realizing that she was barefoot and had walked over a mile in a blackout, she feared what might happen next if she continued to drink.   Leah began drinking in high school and felt that it gave her courage to be herself. She says she was always addicted to that feeling. After leaving a bad relationship to an alcoholic, Leah started dating her now-husband. He is a normal drinker and Leah felt safe with him.   Leah says over time her drinking increased and the blackouts started. She says she isn't the same person when she drinks and would often get angry and start fights with her partner. Waking up feeling regret and shame and promising she wouldn't do it again became commonplace for Leah.   It was Leah's therapist through Betterhelp that suggested she check out some podcasts and that's how Leah stumbled upon RE. She says she just started listening from the beginning and found the interviews with others very helpful and she no longer felt alone in this battle.   Leah says since quitting drinking, she has lost weight and feels better overall. The first year she struggled with boredom since drinking was her hobby. She has been working on her unresolved childhood trauma and learning how to be herself without drinking. Leah's emotions have leveled out and she no longer gets angry as often as she used to. Leah and her husband are still able to share the same hobbies, and she now drinks NA beers. Cravings have not been a big issue for her, she remembers how bad the following days were when she would drink, and it helps her stay grounded.   In the future, Leah would like to have another child, but she is comfortable where she is right now.   Leah's parting piece of guidance: one day at a time.   Recovery Elevator Go big, because eventually we all go home I love you guys     RE on Instagram RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes       

Episode 502 – The Tallest Tree in the World   Today we have Kurtis. He is 32 from Seattle, WA and took his last drink on October 12th, 2023.   Sponsors mentioned in this episode:   Better Help  - code ELEVATOR   AG1   Paul loves pickles but doesn't love to be in them. When it comes to drinking, this quote shows up often: “When I controlled my drinking, I didn't enjoy it. When I enjoyed my drinking, I couldn't control it.” That is a good example of what it is like to be in a pickle with your drinking.   DTB Mindfulness course starts Monday October 7th for 5 weeks. This course is for Café RE members only, and we would love for you to join us!  Visit Café RE to sign up if you aren't already a member.   [03:32] Thoughts from Paul:   While the tallest tree on the planet currently is a redwood but it would be the Douglas Fir if we stopped cutting them down. Scientists theorize the highest a tree can pull water up it's roots is 480 feet and that's how big the Douglas Fir trees were back in the early 1800's before we began harvesting them.   Paul shares with us his love of trees and how they have helped him on his recovery journey. He also shares some facts about how indigenous people around the world are healthier than we are and how many of them use trees as a source of wholeness that cure physical ailments and mental health conditions.   When looking for connection, don't overlook the trees in your back yard that are holding the soil in place. Nature should 100% be part of your recovery portfolio.   [10:07] Paul introduces Kurtis:   Kurtis currently lives in Seattle, WA and is originally from Detroit. He has two cats and is a musician and a mixing engineer. He says he used to use drinking as a way to be creative and says it has been interesting to figure out his relationship with music without drinking.   Kurtis says he didn't drink much in his younger years. He took his first drink at age 21. He was in a lot of bands after moving to Seattle. He would bring beer to practice which quelled his anxiety.   After Kurtis was diagnosed with ADHD in 2020, he started taking medication that helped him focus. He admits he took more than prescribed and would then utilize alcohol to help him go to sleep. When waking up with a hangover, his medication would help him combat it. It was a vicious cycle, Kurtis says.   Kurtis knew he had issues but couldn't determine whether it the pills or the drinking that was causing the problem. He was having a hard time going more than a few days without drinking and often found himself drinking in the morning. After failed moderation attempts, he ended up having to quit both the alcohol and the medication at the same time in October of 2023.   When he made the decision to quit, Kurtis says there were a lot of small rock-bottom moments that led him to it. Kurtis shared that it was tough quitting both things at the same time. He was worried that his productivity would decrease when he had to stop taking the medication. The drinking was slightly easier, however. Without taking the stimulant he wasn't feeling so much anxiety at the end of the day which diminished his desire to drink.   Kurtis started finding other activities to fill his time and began to see great results. He was walking a lot, began to lose weight, and started feeling really good. He was able to recognize that quitting drinking opened up a lot of doors for him to feel better. He is more present with others and feels more confident in general.   Kurtis shares that the RE podcast has been helpful along with the Reddit Stop Drinking group. Talking about his journey with others has also helped a lot.   Kurtis' parting piece of guidance: moderation, research and failing is all part of the process. It's important to be kind to yourself and not feel like you have to match what others are doing.   Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down, you got to take the stairs back up. We can do this.   RE on Instagram RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes       

Episode 501 – The Camaraderie of Sobriety   Today we have Kendra. She is 36 years old from Alexandria, MN and took her last drink on March 22nd, 2024.   Sponsors mentioned in this episode:   Better Help  - code ELEVATOR   There are 4 million podcasts on iTunes with tens of millions of episodes. Do you want to know what the #1 downloaded episode was, for two years straight? Is was an episode titled - What Alcohol Does to your Body, Brain and Health, by the Stanford Neuroscientist Andrew Huberman.   All new registrations for Café RE will be added to our community, which is no longer on Facebook. We have found a place that allows us to make these connections better. Beginning October 1st, all current members will start shifting over there as well.   The theme for this podcast is I am Here, I am Whole. These lyrics mean that yes, we can fix, we can make changes, but while listening to this podcast, reinforce the fact that you are not broken. We are all perfectly imperfect, but in this moment, we are all here and we are all whole.   [06:15] Thoughts from Paul:   Paul shares a story about a recent situation involving his goat Hot Dog and some wiring on his truck. After attempting and failing to fix the issue himself, Paul took his truck to the shop where he purchased the truck topper.   After several hours of troubleshooting and referencing the vehicle's owner manual, they found a fuse had blown. This was five weeks after the incident. What Paul didn't know was that his taillights had been out as well. The man said that Paul was lucky the cops didn't pull him over for a DUI. Paul quickly shared that he had quit drinking to which the man replied that he had as well. The conversation continued for a bit about their mutual sobriety.   One thing Paul has recognized in recovery is that the many teams, committees and organizations he has being involved with are no match for the camaraderie of sobriety. He encourages us to leverage the fact that you don't drink to make deeper connections.   [08:44] Paul introduces Kendra:   Kendra is 36 and has lived her life in Minnesota all her life. She is an RN that works with kidney doctors. For fun Kendra enjoys outdoor activities, spending time with her daughter and has been getting into meditation lately.   About six years ago, Kendra started recognizing that drinking wasn't fostering anything positive in her life. She was going through some major life changes and found herself reevaluating things. Kendra says she didn't have an off switch and found herself drinking too much and being hungover most of the next day. She began to try to quit drinking but found it difficult and she would give into peer pressure a lot.   Over the last three years, Kendra attempted many moderation techniques. She was using a sobriety tracker to see her progress. She started bringing NA options to events, and even if she would still drink, she acknowledges that it was less. While there were no stereotypical rock-bottom events, Kendra recognizes that everyone's rock bottom looks different.   Also, over the last several years Kendra started listening to podcasts about recovery and found the book This Naked Mind by Annie Grace which she feels helped her. She says everything was lining up to push her towards what life could look like without alcohol.   Kendra said she only had eight drinks from January to March this year. Her quit date is a few days after her father's 39th sobriety anniversary. Kendra says that listening to other's stories has been helpful. She finds that being prepared and planning before going to social functions is important.   Kendra's best sober moment: where she can be present with her daughter and remember everything.   Kendra's parting piece of guidance: keep it simple and just try to keep logging those days. One decision at a time and focus on your overall health.   Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down, you got to take the stairs back up. We can do this.   RE on Instagram RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes       

Episode 500 – I Am Here, I Am Whole   Today we have Brady. He is 43 years old from Denver, CO and took his last drink on July 18th, 2023.   Whatever day you are on, we want to hear it, see it and support you. On Sundays, head on over to RE on Instagram and post on our Roll Call. Let the world know where you are at.   There are still a few spots open on our next Alcohol-Free travel trip to Vietnam. This upcoming January 9th-20th, 2025, we're heading to this incredible Southeast Asia paradise for 10 days and 11 nights with 25 travelers who are done nursing hangovers.   Starting Monday September 16th, all new registration for Café RE will be added to our community, which is no longer on Facebook. We have found a place that allows us to make these connections better. Beginning October 1st, all current members will start shifting over there as well.   Sponsors mentioned in this episode:   Better Help  - code ELEVATOR   [03:57] Thoughts from Paul:   For 500 straight Mondays, Recovery Elevator has released an episode with someone sharing how they quit drinking. We do this to help, to serve, and also selfishly since Paul and all members of the team are also on this AF journey.   Paul started this podcast in 2015 and just celebrated 10 years since his last drink. He shares how he started the Recovery Elevator Sobriety Tracker. He also shares that since starting, we now have Café RE, have done five international sober travel trips, have had 15 official RE retreats, and over 1500 people have signed up for our courses. Paul shares what he is most happy about are the gains in his personal life. He is married and has a three-month-old son and is well into a creating a life that no longer requires alcohol.   The lyrics to the new intro song: “I am here, I am whole” remind us that there is nothing wrong with us, we are not fractured, and we can correct the imbalance in our lives. And we don't have to do it alone.   [11:00] Paul introduces Brady:   At the time of recording, Brady just celebrated one year alcohol free!   Paul and Brady have been friends for a very long time, and both acknowledge that it's good be on the other side of their drinking times to now sharing sobriety with one another.   Brady and lives in the suburbs of Denver, he is 43 years old and is a realtor and formerly a high school teacher. Brady is married and they have a five-year-old son.   Brady says he drank more than the average high school student. He thinks his drinking in college was on par with normal for that time of life. It wasn't until his late thirties that he started to realize that his relationship with alcohol wasn't good. He feels that the time during COVID just normalized drinking at home for him. It became an everyday thing, and he slowly stopped having any interest in anything other than drinking.   An acute panic attack one night found him feeling empty. When he talked to his mom about it, she asked if he had been drinking. It was then that he started to connect the dots and was on the road to exploring the role alcohol had in his life. He never considered himself an alcoholic, but knew he was not living the life he wanted to.   Since quitting drinking, Brady has lost 20 pounds, is says he is more aware of what he is doing and it's more purposeful. Brady has discovered that everything is clearer now. He mentions listening to The Huberman Lab podcast about alcohol really helped him in addition to Alan Carr's book about quitting drinking. Learning what alcohol really does to us has been an important tool for Brady. He has not attended AA but had a lot of support from people around him and was comfortable sharing with them. Brady has shifted his identity to no longer being a dude that drinks.   Brady's parting piece of guidance: just do it, find those resources that will help you.     Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down, you got to take the stairs back up. We can do this.      

Episode 499 - Get Your Roll On   Today we have Kerri. She is 55 years old, lives in Redding, CA and took her last drink on March 2nd, 2022.   Sponsors mentioned in this episode:   Better Help  - code ELEVATOR Soberlink – receive $50 off of a device Better Rhodes – code RECOVERYELEVATOR15 RiseUp Coffee Athletic Brewing Sarilla   [02:47] Thoughts from Paul:   Prior to AA, alcoholism was considered a fatal disease. In less than 100 years, so much progress has been made in how alcoholism is viewed and treated. Now there is 100% a way out.   We now know the most potent antidote to addiction is connection. And this looks like community, preferably one that contains a lot of laughter, which we have all heard is the best medicine.   Paul shares with us that when he was crafting the recent Bozeman Retreat's itinerary, he spent a lot of time thinking about one of the activities he was considering: a Skee-Ball tournament. The retreat is already full of the standard heavy hitters of share groups, breathwork, etc. but he wanted to try something different. Check out the pictures of the event in the post today: RE on Instagram   So, 100 years ago, it was shock therapy and isolation to cure alcoholism. Today it's Skee-Ball, laughter, and connection.   [10:34] Kris introduces KMac:   Kerri is 55 years old and lives in Redding, CA. She has two adult daughters and five grandchildren. She is married and they have two dogs. For fun, Kerri has recently gotten into ultrarunning. She works full time for RE/Café RE as the community manager and event coordinator.   Kerri says she started drinking in high school and was a blackout drinker from the beginning. She and her first husband drank a lot during their marriage, and it escalated for Kerri after their divorce.   Kerri became a teacher later in life, but her drinking caused her to lose multiple teaching jobs over the course of a few years. She was involved with her local AA group and had a sponsor during this time. She ended up joining Café RE and rather quickly, volunteered to help do the show notes for the podcast. Over time her involvement with RE evolved.   Kerri had over a year alcohol free before the binge drinking returned. She had stopped counting days and recognized that it made it easier for her to drink. Currently days are very important to Kerri.   As Kerri began working more for RE, she feels that it took away the community for her. She didn't feel comfortable sharing her struggles within the groups because of her role.   Knowing that she couldn't recover alone, Kerri began to open up and have tough conversations with the RE team. She was at the point where she was feeling like she was never going to be able to quit and found herself, with the encouragement of others, making the decision to go to inpatient rehab.   Kerri says that being The Hab was tough at first and a lot of the people there were younger than her. After finding a good counselor and therapist, she was able to finally start opening up and sharing. At the end of 60 days, it was recommended she continue, so she stayed an additional 30.   After leaving she continued to do what she was doing while she was in rehab, which helps. She used to question why she drank like she did, but over time has decided it doesn't matter.   Kerri says the biggest thing she has learned about herself is the importance of truly believing she is worthy. She is now able to recognize when she has feelings and being able to share them. She is more likely to ask for help when she needs it.   To the listener that is experiencing their own version of pacing around the living room not wanting to drink, Kerri wants to remind them that it's not too late, this doesn't have to be who you are or the road that you go down, you are worth asking for help and there is a community out there that are willing to walk that path with you.   Kerri's first episode: RE Episode 255   Recovery Elevator You're the only one that can do this, but you don't have to do it alone. Love you guys.   Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes   

Episode 498 – Be the Light   Today we have Ava. She is 17 years old and lives in Central North Dakota. She has been sober since October 13th, 2006.   Sponsors for this episode:   Visit Better Help today to get 10% off your first month   [03:16] Meat and Potatoes Time:   A few months ago, after a lot of prayer and consideration, Kris had a tough call with Paul. While he enjoys his job as podcast host immensely, his life has been changing. His kids are getting older and busier, and he has opportunities to step up his investment in his local community.   Kris shares what this podcast has meant to him both as an interviewer and as a long-time listener. All of our stories have values, and he reminds us of the importance of being a light. No one lights a lamp and then covers it with a wash tub or shoves it under a bed. You set it up on the lampstand so that those who enter the room can see their way.   We each have a light in us that is meant to shine.    [10:18] Kris introduces Ava:   Today Kris is speaking with a very special guest: Ava, his 17-year-old daughter. She works as a nanny and works front desk at a gym. For fun, Ava likes to read and spend time with her friends.   Ava shares that the first time she became aware of alcohol's presence in her life was when she was around ten. She noticed that her dad always had beer. She didn't recognize that alcohol was causing a problem in her environment until her parents separated, Dad went to rehab, and they explained things to her.   Anxiety was common for Ava during this time. Her mom and dad were fighting a lot, and weren't very present at home, and she found herself looking after her little brother more and more. Ava didn't feel like she had an outlet to share her feelings. She was left feeling like she wasn't good enough and trying to be a people pleaser and take care of others.   Ava remembers the last years of Kris drinking as being hard. She had been told that her dad was staying at the lake because it was closer to his work. She didn't realize what was going on until she heard her mother on the phone talking about a divorce. Ava says that was hard to hear. Her parents were trying to protect the kids from what was going on. Ava says that this was a very difficult time for her. Her anxiety was up, and she started internalizing that she was the problem for her parents   Going through the transition to middle school was a hard time for Ava. Her anxiety had increased, and she tried really hard to make things go right there since she felt so much instability at home. She was crushed when she and her brother were told their parents were separating.   Kris started rehab and was spending as much time with the kids as possible. Time together helped them rebuild a healthy relationship. Ava says some of the anxiety went away and when it comes up for her now, she knows how to deal with it.   These days Ava enjoys the time they all spend together as a family. She feels much more comfortable and open with her parents now that things are calmer at home. Having a relationship with God and friends at church and school has been helpful for Ava.   Ava looks forward to graduating high school and plans to become a counselor. She has the desire to help people who are going through some of the things she has and mental health in general.   Ava's advice for folks going through tough times: taking it one step at a time, it doesn't have to be a big light-switch change   Ava's parting piece of guidance for those thinking about sobriety: do it. It is probably the best choice you can make for yourself and those around you.   Ava's advice for a loved one of someone with addiction: know that they are loved and valuable and would encourage them to find someone they trust that they can talk to because they are not alone.   Recovery Elevator You're the only one that can do this, but you don't have to do it alone. Love you guys.   RE on Instagram RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes   

Episode 497 – I Can't – You Can – Take It   Today we have Shelby. She is 38 years old and from Windsor Ontario. She took her last drink on December 23rd, 2023.   Sponsors for this episode:   Visit Better Help today to get 10% off your first month   Visit Exact Nature use code RE20 to save 20% off of your order   [04:10] Thoughts from Paul:   Paul seeks to soften the entry point to AA and simplify the first three steps.  For many the steps are intimidating. They are nebulous, part dogmatic and for some there are simply too many God or higher power references. But the do make it clear many times that this God (higher power) is of your understanding. You can even use a red stapler as your higher power – they will fully support you.   The first three steps of AA: 1)    We admitted we are powerless over alcohol 2)    We came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity 3)    We decided to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him.   Which can be broken down to: 1)    I can't 2)    You can 3)    Take it   Paul says he feels the most powerful part of AA isn't the God stuff, it's the group. The group is always stronger than the individual.   I can't, the group can. Here you go. I'll see you all again tomorrow.   [10:18] Paul introduces Shelby:   Shelby is 38 years old, lives in Windsor Ontario and works for a car manufacturer on the assembly line. For fun Shelby enjoys all sports, camping and hiking.   In high school Shelby was very athletic. When she was 15, she decided to focus on hockey and made it onto a junior team. She learned about hockey culture and part of that is drinking and partying. Due to traveling and playing hockey Shelby didn't have time to drink much during high school. While attending a development camp for hockey, Shelby had an injury that put her on the side lines. Throughout her time at Ohio State, doctors would tell her she was fine as she continued to suffer injuries that eventually required surgery. Shelby had dreamed of going to the Olympics and never considered she might not be able to.   She left school early and felt like a failure. Shelby knew her drinking was already an issue, and she needed a change of scenery. Shelby says she didn't have an identity outside of being an athlete. Alcohol and being social became a distraction for her and she avoided playing hockey for a long time.   The older she got; the more Shelby didn't feel like she had accomplished anything. Life after being an athlete was tough for her. Around 30 years old she realized she needed to make some healthy changes. She accepted an offer to play hockey with some friends and ended up getting coaching opportunities afterwards. She decided to do it and since she was getting back in shape, she decided to quit drinking for three months which led to almost two years.   After losing a close uncle, Shelby drank after his funeral. She continued to drink for a few years and tried using moderation techniques. At an alumni game, she was not able to play due to an unhealed injury. She showed up drunk and ended up losing her coaching job. After this she decided to quit drinking again.    Since quitting this time around, Shelby has started attending therapy. This has helped her uncover some of her issues. She does not care for AA and says in the beginning it was hard doing things that she used to do while drinking. Shelby deals with cravings by going for walks, listening to podcasts and using her quit drinking app. She enjoys doing things that she missed out on when she was younger. Shelby also looks forward to trying new things and traveling. Her clarity is so much better, and she loves that she knows she can make plans and keep them.   Shelby's parting piece of guidance: start today and start small and take it slow.   Recovery Elevator We took the elevator down; we have to take the stairs back up. I love you guys. We can do this.   RE on Instagram RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes   

Episode 496 – One Way Street   Today we have James. He is 40 years old and lives in Melbourne, Australia. He took his last drink on November 20th, 2023.   Sponsors for this episode:   Visit Better Help today to get 10% off your first month   Visit Exact Nature use code RE20 to save 20% off of your order   [04:16] Thoughts from Paul:   The Paris Olympic Committee opted to not sell alcohol. They were confident that they could have successfully applied to sell alcohol but still decided not to. In an article from NBC News, it mentioned the following: “While many people enjoy a casual drink, that's not always the case. According to estimates by the French Public Health Society, 49,000 people are killed a year by alcohol consumption, which also causes 120 billion euros in damages.” Them choosing not to sell alcohol proves that things are changing around the globe regarding alcohol consumption.   Expanding on the topic of staying the course from last week's episode, Paul shares that sobriety is a one-way street. He has yet to hear a story where someone with alcohol-free has gone back to drinking and was happy with the decision.   The common theme when it comes to what drove them back to alcohol was that they drifted from the AF community and attended less meetings or stopped altogether. They second part of this is they all said it was not a pleasant experience and many ended up right back where they were.   Do not beat yourself if you do some field research. We often need those reminders to reinforce internally that you made the right decision. Paul says he hasn't met a single person who said they made the wrong choice when they decided to choose an alcohol-free life.   [11:03] Kris introduces James:   James lives in a rural area south of Melbourne, Australia. He is married with two kids, enjoys going to the gym and recently started playing football again.   James says he had a normal upbringing. He put a lot of pressure on himself and felt like he was always being watched. Alcohol entered his life when he was around 14 and drinking helped him turn things off as an escape and he felt freedom.   At 18, James moved out of his parent's home with some older friends and was drinking on extended weekends but still very functional. When he was 20, he ended up moving to London where he felt complete freedom to do whatever he wanted, including living in a pub. James continued the weekend binge drinking with very little consequence.   After moving back to Australia in his late 20's, James started a successful business and met the woman who is now his wife. Over time his feelings of not being “good enough” in many areas of his life were very stressful and found James drinking more to self-medicate and disconnect.   Towards the end of his drinking, James says he and his wife were very disconnected. He was acting out and taking a lot of risks. After confronting him one day, James told her his life was a mess and she told him it was either rehab or leaving. James opted for the easier option of leaving and chose an Airbnb close to a pub where he could drink and gamble. After a few days of this bender, his wife showed up and lovingly took him home. He started doing research but was scared to commit to inpatient care due to running his business.   James eventually found an outpatient treatment that would suit him. He has been alcohol-free ever since. Working on his connections with his family is something James is really proud of. He looks forward to doing the step work with his sponsor in AA and growing stronger spiritually.   James' biggest fear around quitting: feeling his feelings and having to digest them.   James' favorite resources in recovery: Recovery Elevator podcast and a book with spiritual principles for each day that he can meditate on.   James' parting piece of guidance: Stick to it, keep showing up day by day and the magic happens down the track.   We are the only ones that can do this RE, but we don't have to do it alone. I love you guys.   Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes   

Episode 495 – Stay the Course   Today we have Robbie. He is 28 years old from Palm Springs, CA and took his last drink on January 4th, 2024.   Sponsors for this episode:   Visit Better Help today to get 10% off your first month   Visit Sober Link to sign up and receive $50 off a device.   [4:28] Thoughts from Paul:   You are listening to this podcast because you've correctly identified that alcohol is what is holding you back. You see that alcohol isn't delivering what was promised.   Your inner guidance to quit drinking, to explore what that would look like is correct. Stay the course. You're inner voice is spot on. You are on the right path.   Paul shares his struggles with finding homeostasis after welcoming his child into the world. He feels his nervous system is stuck in a level of fight or flight. While he is feeling a lot of emotions around this, he reminds himself to stay the course. So, for all of those parents who are seeking sobriety – we will stay the course with you.   What does staying the course look like when we depart from alcohol? Maybe it is tuning in to the podcast each week or logging just one more day alcohol-free. Maybe you are working through a quit lit book and the voice is saying it wasn't that bad. Keep reading. Keep listening. Keep showing up. We are on the right path and it's paramount that we stick together.   [10:18] Paul introduces Robbie:   Robbie lives in Palm Springs, CA. He enjoys tennis, pickleball, golf and interior design.   Robbie says he didn't drink much growing up and only started to drink while studying abroad in Australia. He was able to drink socially with little issue. The drinking became more frequent after Robbie had graduated college and was living alone in Denver. He found himself at happy hours and then returning home to continue to drink. At the time, Robbie knew that his drinking wasn't normal but chalked it up to being a phase.   During COVID lockdowns, Robbie ended up moving back to Montana to stay with his parents. Drinking was a great excuse since he didn't have obligations. After moving back to his apartment, his drinking began earlier in the day over time. He was starting to have physical repercussions from drinking heavily and decided to try and moderate or cut back. One event found him going to the liquor store for “hair of the dog” and on the way back he ended up passing out. Robbie woke up in an ambulance on the way to the ER and had no idea who called them. This didn't deter Robbie from drinking, he just knew that if he tried to quit again, he would need to have medical detox.   On a trip to Montana visiting family, Robbie ended up getting a DUI right down the street from his parents' house. After his father picked him up from jail, he knew the cat was out of the bag.   At Christmas, Robbie decided to stay in Denver and told his mother that he was spending time with his girlfriend but ended up staying home. When his mother found out he wasn't with her, see felt driven to send Robbie an email expressing concerns about his health. He felt a lot of relief when he read it and knew that he was going to be able to get help now since his family was aware of his problem.   Robbie went to Betty Ford and stayed there for 21 days. It was more social than Robbie was accustomed to, but he grew very close with the people he was there with. After a few step-down programs, Robbie still goes to Betty Ford frequently and while AA isn't his favorite modality, he enjoys trying new meetings and keeps an open mind to all things recovery. He utilizes meetings, podcasts and gratitude lists in recovery and when he has a craving, he has found box-breathing helps him a lot.   What has sobriety made possible for Robbie: reconnecting with and loving himself.   Robbie's parting piece of guidance: pick up the 100-pound phone, ask for help and you'll be really surprised by people's response to that.     Recovery Elevator Go big, because eventually we all go home. I love you guys.   RE on Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes   

Episode 494 - Discomfort = Good   Today we have Erin. She is 47 years old from Colorado and took her last drink on May 21st, 2022.   Sponsors for this episode:   Visit Better Help today to get 10% off your first month   Café RE – promo code OPPORTUNITY waives set up fee.   [02:53] Thoughts from Paul:   Paul shares with us “pain is followed by pleasure and pleasure is followed by pain”. Drinking to change the way you feel in order to feel better in the short term, will lead to a greater dip on the other side. Not only does drinking often come with a physical hangover, but the dopamine dip can be even worse.   The Comfort Crisis by Michael Easter is a great book on discomfort. The main point of the comfort crisis is to show that society's relentless quest for pleasure is actually doing us a tremendous amount of harm.   The discomfort that comes with ditching the booze is like a different type of gym that is making you so much stronger. Studies show that it was not uncommon for our ancestors to run and walk more than 25 miles in a day. Today we call that a marathon. They called it going out for dinner. A good sobriety tool to add to your toolkit is seeking discomfort – both the physical and the mental.    Buddha said that life is suffering, and all attempts to avoid the suffering only create more suffering. Logging alcohol free days and leaning into the boredom and discomfort is incredibly healthy for you and is actually level 10 self-care, even though it hurts.   [09:57] Kris introduces Erin:   Erin lives in a small town in Colorado. She is a psychotherapist. She lives with her partner and two dogs. They enjoy all things outdoors; hiking, skiing, walking, going to the lake and she is fortunate to love her work as well.   Growing up in a small town in South Dakota, Erin says drinking was part of the youth culture. Her older siblings drank and made it sound like fun. The first time Erin drank, she blacked out, but doesn't recall it being a bad experience. She drank at parties in high school, but her drinking slowed down when she went to college.   Living in Boulder, CO, Erin enjoyed more outdoor activities instead of drinking heavily. Her roommate and she got the opportunity to go on tour with their favorite band a few times and Erin remembers that as being when drinking was fun. She was a music lover and while working in clubs she enjoyed the perk of free drinks and meeting the bands.   In her late 20s, Erin had a career change and was with a partner that drank a lot. She says she drank a lot with them and was able to maintain her job and her martial arts training. She was working with women that came from domestic abuse situations so in comparison, she thought she was doing alright.   Erin ended up leaving the martial arts community but began drinking with her work community. Everyone else was able to drink Friday night and be done, whereas Erin wouldn't stop until Monday. She started having withdrawal symptoms when the bender was over, but this wasn't enough to make her quit.   Erin would try moderation and kept her drinking to a minimum when with her boyfriend, but it was different when she was alone. It wasn't until a bender while pet sitting that her boyfriend saw her in really rough shape. He made her leave with him and the next morning, Erin asked to go to the hospital because she knew it was time to quit for good.   Once Erin quit, she focused on telling the truth and surrendering to the fact that she could no longer drink. Erin has leaned into community and is going to retreats. It gives her something to look forward to on her calendar.   Erin's favorite resources in recovery – podcasts and other people's stories   Erin's parting piece of guidance – there's a wisdom in patience, and simplicity. Do one or two things each day that are good for yourself. Sobriety is a journey and the brain is healing.   We are the only ones that can do this RE, but we don't have to do it alone. I love you guys.   RE on Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes   

Episode 493 – The War is Over, and I Lost   Today we have Allie. She is 31 and lives in Central, MA. She took her last drink on March 20th, 2024.   There are still a few spots open on our next Alcohol-Free travel trip to Vietnam. This upcoming January 9th-20th, 2025, we're heading to this incredible Southeast Asia paradise for 10 days and 11 nights with 25 travelers who are done nursing hangovers.   Sponsors for this episode:   Visit Better Help today to get 10% off your first month   Exact Nature use promo code RE20 to receive 20% of your order   [03:25] Thoughts from Paul:   Paul shares that he lost the war with alcohol. It was not for lack of effort… for over ten years, he would get back up and keep fighting, he would implement new strategies to control his drinking, but it didn't matter. He still lost.   He eventually raised the white flag and through the process of deconstruction, Paul says humility entered on its own without invitation. Every day he has to remember just how bad he got his ass kicked.   Through the addiction process, humility is a gift that we receive. Humility is a modest view of one's own self-worth or importance and addiction is the equalizer that puts us all on the same level.   Losing the battle with alcohol is a humbling process which imprints on us a heaping dose of humility, which never leaves.   A big part of today's intro is empowering you to recognize this incredible gift. Once the battle with alcohol is over and humility is gained, we ultimately win.   [10:38] Paul introduces Allie:   Allie is 31 years old, and currently lives in central Massachusetts. She is married and they recently bought a house. For work she is an occupational therapist for students with different learning disabilities. For fun she enjoys the beach, travel, reading and exercise.   Allie started experimenting with alcohol in high school – the typical parties on the weekend. Her parents were big advocates for safety around alcohol and knew that Allie and her brother were at the age of experimentation. Allie knew family members that had issues with alcohol but wasn't worried about them developing for herself.   After college, Allie moved to Boston and started to work. She says she enjoyed the social scene. Initially she didn't drink during the week but on the weekends the excitement of being with friends found her trying to keep the party going when others were fine to stop.   During COVID Allie and her friends would have happy hours over Zoom. Around 2022 was when she first heard the term “sober curious” but said the word “sober” scared her. Allie shares that she had times when she knew she had drank too much and felt some shame and guilt around it. This led her to start listening to podcasts about sobriety and hear stories from others that felt the same way. Allie found listening to other people her age quitting drinking was really motivating and helpful for her to realize she wasn't alone.   Because she wasn't an everyday drinker, she didn't think she had a problem. She would attempt moderation by limiting her drinks and avoiding certain alcohol. Allie quit drinking for stretches of time, but usually because of diet or an upcoming event. It wasn't until one night of overindulgence led to worrying her father when she realized that she needed to quit.   Since quitting, Allie listens to a lot of podcasts, attends therapy and journals regularly to reflect on where she is. Learning about the science has been very helpful to her and she has fostered a great relationship with herself while improving relationships with others. Self-discovery, self-acceptance and self-awareness have helped Allie realize that she is just someone that cannot drink.     Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down; you gotta take the stairs back up. I love you guys.   RE on Instagram RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes   

Episode 492 – Alcohol Isn't the Problem   Today we have Kristi. She is 50 years old and lives in Rome, GA. She took her last drink on December 11th, 2023.   We just opened a few more spots for our upcoming retreat this August 14th through 18th in beautiful Bozeman, MT.    Sponsors for this episode:   Visit Better Help today to get 10% off your first month   Exact Nature use promo code RE20 to receive 20% of your order   [02:19] Thoughts from Paul:   We think this is all about alcohol, but it's not. There are different support groups for many various addictions, and the one thing that they have in common is whatever comes before the word “Anonymous” is not the problem.    Page 64 in the Alcoholics Anonymous Big Book states that the liquor was but a symptom. The booze isn't the problem. There are deeper causes and conditions that are manifesting themselves in a drinking problem, gambling problem, shopping problem, etc.   For many of us, alcohol isn't the problem. It is but a symptom of what went down in our infant and toddler years. Childhood trauma (which can be both what happened to us and what didn't happen for us) can leave us with holes that we end up doing anything to fill. Many of those interviewed on this podcast explain that the first drink made them feel whole again.   We drink to change the way we feel and to cover up uncomfortable emotions. Alcohol is being used to cover up deeper issues. This may or may not be what you wanted to hear today, but it's important to keep this podcast real.   TRIGGER WARNING: The upcoming interview references self-harm.   [10:54] Kris introduces Kristi:   Kristi is 50 years old and is a hairstylist in Northwest Georgia. She has a 33 year old daughter with special needs, a partner and three dogs. For fun she enjoys reading, cooking and looks forward to getting back to kayaking.   Kristi says she had a good childhood. Her parents divorced when she was young, and they both remarried when she was around seven. Growing up, Kristi felt like she was on the fringe of being part of the “in” crowd so would do what everyone else was doing to fit in.   Kristi had her first drink when she was around 14 years old. At age 16, she got pregnant and dropped out of school. After she had her daughter, she started experimenting a lot and found herself in and out of destructive relationships.   Around the age of 27, Kristi found herself addicted to opiates. During this time her father, who struggled with mental illness, committed suicide. This sent her on a downward spiral. About a year later she found a place that helped her quit the opiates. She was there for 8 months and when she returned, she drank because she knew that pills were her issue, not alcohol.   Kristi says she was a binge drinker. Alcohol was a way for her to mask the pain of the loss of her father as well as the struggles she had raising a special needs child.   As a hairdresser when COVID happened, she says she went downhill quickly. There was no work and being homebound found her day drinking and over time it started earlier in the day. The day drinking continued after returning to work and she had a few events that led her to seek treatment. It was an up and down experience for her after the first detox, but Kristi never gave up and neither did her family and friends.   After six months of sobriety, Kristi says it feels different this time. She has been leaning into Café RE and reaching out to some other friends to expand her connections. She found this and mediation to be most helpful to her.   Recently Kristi started going to college with the goal of being a counselor. She wants to use what she has been through to help others.   Kristi's favorite resources in recovery: Cafe RE and podcasts.   Kristi's parting piece of guidance: just do it. Life is so much clearer. There are so many things on the edge of your fingertips if you just put down the bottle.   Recovery Elevator Go big, because eventually we all go home. I love you guys.   RE on Instagram RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes   

Episode 491 – Sobriety is Not….   Today we have Santino. He is 36 years old, lives in Taunton, MA, and took his last drink on May 24th, 2022.   Sponsors for this episode:   Visit Better Help today to get 10% off your first month   Café RE – promo code OPPORTUNITY waives set up fee.   [02:55] Thoughts from Paul:   A question we all eventually ask ourselves during our lifetime is – who am I? Eckhart Tolle (the author of The Power of Now and A New Earth) says that through the process of finding out who we are not, we also find out who we are.   One of our Café RE hosts, Tonya, shared a great list of what sobriety is not which Paul shares and elaborates on:   1)    Sobriety is not the same for everyone. 2)    Sobriety is not going back to how things were. 3)    Sobriety does not rid you of your past. 4)    Sobriety is not the end of your life if you enter recovery or treatment. 5)    Sobriety is not the end of socializing. 6)    Sobriety is not something you can do halfheartedly. 7)    Sobriety is not just a temporary thing.   Rumi says “don't be held captive. Your life has no border or shoreline”. Don't be held captive by a mind created definition of what sobriety is because in reality, it can be whatever you want it to be. It can be infinitely boundless.   [10:42] Paul introduces Santino:   This is Santino's third appearance on the podcast, and he is celebrating 2 years alcohol free at the time of this recording.   Santino grew up in the Midwest but currently lives in eastern MA. He is currently working on writing his memoir and he and his wife are expecting their second child.   Curiosity in his early teens led Santino to try alcohol. He joined the military after high school where drinking is generally part of the culture. Santino considers his drinking rather benign until his late twenties. It was then that he began to use alcohol for coping through uncertainty in his life. Once he started finding himself focusing more and more on his next drink, he began gaslighting and manipulating to protect his drinking. Santino acknowledges that he was becoming like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.   Several months before he quit drinking, Santino had a bad withdrawal experience. At the time he was depressed and cared little about himself. He recognized that this may be what a rock bottom feels like and didn't want to go through this again. He was able to quit for three months in early 2022, but a birthday celebration in March found him falling right into the old habits.   A turning point for Santino was after watching coverage of a school shooting while at the bar. Thinking about becoming a better example for the children of the future, he stopped drinking that day. He calls this clocking out of purgatory. An ultimatum from his wife after discovering hidden debt sealed the deal for Santino.   Comparing the first year of sobriety to the second year, Santino feels there is pure form of clarity that he has. He no longer feels the need to hide anymore. He is exploring who he is and what he can offer to the universe.   Santino says he has been attending individual and marriage therapy which has been helpful to him. He works on fostering his relationships, attends AA meetings, practices positive self-talk, and works on connecting with his emotions and his inner self daily.   Santino's favorite recovery quote: “the world record for the longest time without a drink is 24 hours.”   One thing Santino has learned in sobriety: that he has always had something to offer the world – his true, authentic self.   Santino's favorite sober moment: having the emotional capacity to deal with life as he knows it as well as deal with conflicts he would otherwise run away from.   Santino's parting piece of guidance: give yourself the grace that alcohol will never give you.   Recovery Elevator Go big, because eventually we all go home. I love you guys.   RE on Instagram RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes   

Episode 490 - Expectations are Premeditated Resentments   Today we have Stephanie. She is 48 years old and lives in San Diego, CA. She took her last drink on January 11th, 2020.   Sponsors for this episode:   Visit Better Help today to get 10% off your first month   Café RE – promo code OPPORTUNITY waives set up fee.   [2:21] Thoughts from Kris:   Kris shares that he and his family have always enjoyed camping. Recently, he was looking forward to a week that the family could get together, probably for the only time this summer due to work and social schedules. Things did not go as planned due to obligations, weather and some mishaps along the way.   Kris found his mind making the determination that if their week didn't look exactly like it was planned, then it was no longer good. This is one of Kris's work-in-progress areas in his recovery. He shares that it's somewhat normal to have expectations from the people in our lives and society in general, but what do we do when people, places and things fall short of those expectations?   A few things that Kris does is practice gratitude – he is grateful for the time he does get to spend with family and the great weather they had for most of the week. He also practices taking a self-inventory and shares page 86 from AA's Big Book to give us an idea of what that looks like.   Let Kris know how you navigate expectations and resentments – kris@recoveryelevator.com   [09:48] Kris introduces Stephanie:   Stephanie lives in San Diego with her husband and twin 16-year-old boys. She works as a legal analyst for a Fortune 10 company and loves sports. In her free time, she enjoys hiking, playing games and traveling.   Stephanie witnessed her father become a heavy drinker after the loss of her mother. She was young at the time and as she grew up vowed that she would not drink like he did. At 15, Stephanie first tried alcohol and ended up the victim of an assault during a blackout. Due to this, and her father's alcoholism, Stephanie was very careful with her consumption for many years.   After having kids and one of them was diagnosed with autism, she began to use alcohol as a coping mechanism to deal with her high stress job and parenting. Others would participate with her having drinks after work, so it felt like a normal, adult thing to do.   When Stephanie's husband became disabled in a work accident, things got tough for them financially. Her drinking increased while she was working to rebuild their lives. As things began to improve for the family, she realized that she was drinking too much but was sure she would be able to quit when she was ready – since she didn't look like her father, she didn't think it was that big of an issue.   When she tried to quit alone in 2019, she was able to get four months and thought she could return to normal drinking. After a while she was drinking to blackout again and knew she needed to get help. She attended rehab for 60 days and also discovered the RE podcast. Hearing others share their stories really helped her. Community has become so important to Stephanie, and she has made a lot of friends along the way that she calls her Spiritual Gangsters.   Stephanie's plan in sobriety moving forward: continue being present with others, exploring her life's purpose and living life authentically.   Stephanie's parting piece of guidance: despite what you have been told, life without alcohol is so much more fun, fulfilling and connected than your life while drinking ever was.   We might as well go big RE, because eventually we all go home. I love you guys.   RE on Instagram RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes   

Episode 489 – The Best Parts of an Alcohol-Free Life   Today we have Chris. He is 56 years old and lives in Beacon, NY and took his last drink on April 18th, 2024.   Registration for our next Alcohol-Free travel trip to Vietnam opens TODAY! This upcoming January 9th-20th, 2025, we're heading to this incredible Southeast Asia paradise for 10 days and 11 nights with 25 travelers who are done nursing hangovers.   Welcome to our new listeners! We are glad to have you with us. You are in the right place. There is a whole new authentic life awaiting you, which isn't far away.   Congratulations to Paul and his wife on the birth of their new baby boy!   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored   [04:10] Thoughts from Paul:   A few weeks ago, Paul asked our Instagram followers what is the best part of being sober or living an alcohol free life. He shares with us some of the responses he received.   The four biggest commonalities he saw were: 1)    More authenticity 2)    Less shame and regret 3)    More energy 4)    More clarity   Think of the sobriety quote “you're giving up one thing for everything”.   Sober Link   [11:16] Paul introduces Chris:   Chris says he is 56 years old and grew up in northern New Jersey, close to NYC. Cooking is his passion, and he has worked in the food and beverage industry all of his life, currently in a director role. Chris also enjoys the outdoors and currently lives in the Hudson Valley.   Beyond the occasional night of overindulgence, Chris says his drinking was normal. He was around alcohol a lot in the industry he works in. After getting married, he and his wife enjoyed entertaining in addition to traveling to wineries and distilleries and building a collection. Over time Chris began drinking more than just wine with dinner, had booze all over the house and was drinking earlier in the day and more often.   After he and his wife got divorced, Chris found himself drinking more heavily and was less discriminate of what he was drinking as long as he was getting his fix, as he calls it. He was breaking commitments and becoming less functional in his day-to-day life.   Chris didn't drink heavily around other people but told his family in 2018 that he needed help. He went into treatment and was able to gain 14 months. He was part of a sober community called Ben's Friends geared towards those in the service industry. Chris was able to gain some sobriety time but had a series of stops and starts with several more visits to rehab as well.   Currently at 34 days, Chris is working on rebuilding his life. He knows time will heal his relationships with family, and he is attending IOP for accountability. He is spending a lot of time outdoors and is grateful that the weather has been nice. He attends AA meetings, Café RE chats, and participates in meetings with Ben's Friends. Missing meetings is a non-negotiable for Chris and he also makes sure to nurture himself physically and spiritually.   Chris' best sober moment: being present with his partner while on vacation.   Chris' parting piece of guidance: stay connected.   Café RE – promo code OPPORTUNITY waives set up fee. RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes      Recovery Elevator We took the elevator down. We gotta take the stairs back up. You can do this.

Episode 488 – Hello Truth   Today we have Christine. She is 58 and lives in Ontario. She took her last drink on December 29th, 2022.   Recovery Elevator is going to Vietnam January 9th-20th, 2025. Registration for our newest alcohol-free travel trip opens July 1st. We have room for 25 passengers on this journey. We have AF workshops, a home stay and a service project planned, plus you'll be traveling with others who have already ditched the booze.   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored   [02:56] Thoughts from Paul:   Paul shares with us some articles reminding us of what we already know: alcohol is shit. Society is waking up to the fact that no amount of alcohol is good for you.   In 2023, GQ had an article titled The Year We realize Any Alcohol Is Bad For You.   The World Health Organization, who once supported the stance that one to two drinks per day is beneficial, is now doing an about face.  Their headline was No Level of Alcohol Consumption is Safe For Your Health.   The New York times also had an article further showing that the truth is emerging: Even A Little Alcohol Can Harm Your Health.   Canadian Centre on Substance Use and Addiction shares Canada's Guidance on Alcohol and Heath.   NBC News shares their take on the fact that drinking moderately is not healthier than abstaining   If you want to join the discussion, go to the Recovery Elevator Instagram page and let us know what your thoughts are on today's intro. Or write to your local politician and let them know that alcohol is shit.   Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE20   [10:08] Kris introduces Christine:   Christine is 58 years old and has two adult children, two cats, and is divorced. Christine is a massage therapist and enjoys participating in theater and reading in her spare time.   Christine said that she knew there was alcoholism in her family, and her parents didn't drink. She knew it was something that people needed to be careful with.   While at university, she saw her older brother participating in the party scene and believed that drinking was just part of the experience. She started drinking and says that it was like a release valve for her and helped her with her awkwardness.   After marrying her husband, Christine says drinking wasn't part of their life for a long time. The occasional bottle of wine turned into more alcohol towards the end of the marriage.  Upon splitting up and moving to a new community, Christine found a music scene and easy friends there to frequently spend time drinking with.   Christine feels she was leading a double life and not many people knew the extent of her drinking. Her brother noticed and was concerned. Christine started having regret for her drinking and attempted moderation for a while.   Eventually she picked up Allan Carr's book at the bookstore and began taking notes. Toward the end of 2019 she was able to quit for a period of time until the pandemic struck.   Since she was not working and unable to care for her parents as she had been doing, she used the time to drink and felt entitled to the break. After being able to go out again, she started feeling the shame and despair set in. She began to realize she wasn't going out for the music and friends, but for the drinks. After getting sick for two weeks and being unable to drink, something told Christine to take this opportunity to keep going.   Christine found podcasts, YouTube testimonials, and began reading quit lit again feeling called to sobriety. She joined and became active in Café RE. Keeping a list in her phone of her whys and why nots which helped her a lot.   Christine's parting piece of guidance: we shouldn't be asking ourselves if it's bad enough to quit, we should be asking if it's good enough to keep.   Chrstine's plan in sobriety going forward: seeking in-person connections.     Café RE – promo code OPPORTUNITY waives set up fee. RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes      Recovery Elevator Go big, because eventually we'll all go home. I love you guys.

Episode 487 – How Would You Walk?   Today we have Sarah. She is 45 and lives in Indiana. She took her last drink on December 31st, 2022.   Let's talk AF International travel with Recovery Elevator. We've got some incredible trips in the works. We're going to Vietnam for 12 days in January 2025. Then Back to Costa Rica for our 4th trip to the Blue Zone in April 2025, and then, we're going back to Peru in October 2025 where we're going to the Inca Trail and work with Non-profit Peruvian Hearts again.   Athletic Greens   [02:42] Thoughts from Paul:   The World Heart Federation published a policy brief in 2022 staying there is “no level of alcohol consumption that is safe for health.” There was and still is a collective belief that alcohol is good for you. This is especially prominent in the wine culture.   The paradigm is slowly cracking which is a huge step in the right direction. When Paul started Recovery Elevator in 2015, you couldn't find that line anywhere. It was almost customary to see a line that says something like “studies show moderate alcohol consumption can improve heart health and longevity”.  Today the tides are turning and a narrative that alcohol can wreck your world (aka, the truth) is emerging. People are waking up to the lies that Big Alcohol has sold us.   Check out this recent article about a new phenomenon called BORGS explains what these are and then follows it up with the snippet about alcohol being shit.     [09:18] Paul introduces Sarah:   Sarah is 45 and lives in Indiana. She is married with two kids and works in marketing. When she isn't running the kids to their practices and games, she enjoys exercising, reading and backpacking.   Sarah parents divorced when she was 11 and she grew up with her mother who she was very close with. She doesn't recall alcohol being very present in their lives. Sarah didn't drink much in high school but in college and into her 20s, everything she and her friends did involved alcohol. She always knew her drinking looked a little different than everyone else's, but didn't identify it as a problem.   When Sarah was 35, her mother was diagnosed with brain cancer. Sarah quit working so that she could care for her mother through the diagnosis. Her drinking increased as she dealt with being a caretaker, having a family in addition to not working.   After her mother died four years later, Sarah says she did not know how to deal with life. She would drink into a blackout almost daily and was stuck in the cycle of wanting to quit but not being able to. Sarah began to worry that it might not be possible for her and worried that she would disappoint her mother if she wasn't able to quit.   In time, Sarah found sober podcasts and tried medications to help. She says Antabuse worked, but she would stop taking it in order to drink. No one knew she was taking it to try and quit and Sarah feels that by not sharing, she always left the door open to drink again.   Sarah knew something had to change and decided to come clean with her husband. Being active in the Café RE community helped Sarah gain the courage to choose a quit date and write a letter to her husband letting him know what was going on. Sarah says she received a lot of support from him.   After the physical withdrawals, Sarah felt hopeful. As the months went on, she protected her sobriety by avoiding situations where there was drinking, and she began to gain more confidence. Sarah says that when she has thoughts of drinking, she does chooses to put her energy into her sober resources instead.   Sarah's best sober moment: experiencing the Northern Lights with her son   Sarah's parting piece of guidance: never quit quitting.   [41:14] Outro:   Paul invites listeners to answer some questions not with words in their minds, but in how they carry themselves. How would you walk if…….?   Café RE – promo code OPPORTUNITY waives set up fee. RE merch Instagram   Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes      Recovery Elevator Go big, because eventually we'll all go home. I love you guys.

Episode 486 - The Most Dangerous Thing on the Planet   Today we have Adam. He is 46 from Flowermound, TX and took his last drink on December 31st, 2022.   Recovery Elevator is going to Vietnam January 9th-20th, 2025. Registration for our newest alcohol-free travel trip opens July 1st. We have room for 25 passengers to this southeast Asia destination. We have AF workshops, a home stay and a service project planned, plus you'll be traveling with others who have already ditched the booze.   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored   [03:00] Thoughts from Paul:   Paul shares many things that are dangerous but concludes that the most dangerous thing on the planet is the Ego. The reason why it is so dangerous is because it is never fully satisfied, it's always hungry, lives in constant state of lack and is always seeking more, more, more.   Alcohol is but a symptom of the most dangerous thing on the planet. Addiction gets a bad rap, but it does serve a purpose. It forces you to split from the thinking mind. As the author of The Untethered Soul, Michael Singer says you are the one hearing or witnessing the thoughts, but you are not your thoughts.   Some of the humblest people Paul has met have been people in recovery. The addiction is the equalizer and forces us to seek a better way no longer guided by the blind pursuit of the ego.   Sober Link.  Sign up for a $50 off promo code.   [10:22] Kris introduces Adam:   Adam is a registered nurse, married to his wife for 23 years and they have two children. He loves hiking, camping and walking and enjoys tabletop gaming and the creativity and childlike innocence that it has awoken.   Alcohol was not very present in Adam's childhood household. When he was 15, he had a bad experience with hamburgers and cheap alcohol that kept him away for a while. Typical teenage experimentation was there, but not much booze in his high school years.   Becoming a young adult found Adam at college and going to a lot of parties. The heavier partying led to Adam beginning to have blackouts and hangovers. He ended up going to the Appalachian Mountains for some mission work and to get away from his dissonance around substance use. He says it still followed him there and eventually he had to go back home. Adam says drinking was part of he and his wife's early dating period. After getting married and having kids, Adam was working 45 minutes from home and found himself drinking on the way home from work and the drinking was becoming daily. He knew it didn't feel right but continued to do it. Deciding to start nursing school after the birth of their second child was very stressful and Adam's drinking eventually found him seeking to stop but with short stints of sobriety, he would go back and feel stuck. This continued for Adam for a while and started to affect his relationships.   Adam feels he finally had a time where it just clicked for him. He had joined Café RE and then joined the Restore course and he was able to organize some tools and awareness around his drinking. He knew he had work to do but he was willing to work on it finally. He currently has a great support network and close friends that he is doing the work with. Adam feels that a lot of things about him have changed and every day he sees joy.   Adam's biggest fear around quitting drinking: the fear of not having fun   Adam's plan moving forward: staying connected and immersed   Adam's parting piece of guidance for people thinking about quitting drinking: it makes the world colorful again and life will move in the direction it's supposed to move.     Café RE – promo code OPPORTUNITY waives set up fee. RE merch Instagram   Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes      Recovery Elevator It all starts from the inside out. I love you guys.

Episode 485 – The Social Cost of Alcohol   Today we have Jennifer. She is 41 from Hamilton, OT Canada and took her last drink on January 18th, 2024.   Recovery Elevator is going to Vietnam January 9th-20th, 2025. Registration for our newest alcohol-free travel trip opens July 1st.   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored   [02:09] Thoughts from Paul:   Paul shares some information from an article he saw on the Instagram page recoveryroadmap.me. It discusses how in Canada, despite bringing in $13 billion in tax revenue, the net social costs in 2020 was $19 billion. And it is even worse in the US.   The bright side of all of this is that we are becoming aware of this major deficit, and change is taking place. The demand for alcohol is lowering as people are becoming more aware that alcohol is not good for you. Two years ago, The Huberman Lab did a podcast called What Alcohol Does to Your Body and he debunked the myth that alcohol is good for you.   Paul also shares that thanks to an initiative called Sounds Right, musicians who use natural sounds can list “Nature” as a featured artist and royalties from the tracks will go toward environmental causes.       Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE20   [08:33] Paul introduces Jennifer:   Jennifer is married and they have a daughter and a standard poodle. She works for the family business and for fun she plays paintball, tennis and volleyball – anything active with friends.   Jennifer says that as the “good girl” growing up, she always wanted to be bad and says that drinking fit in with that. During the week she was excelling in school, but on the weekends, she went to raves with friends and started smoking weed. She enjoyed the duality of her life and the same pattern continued at university.   While in her first year of college, her father bought back his company with a ten-year plan of Jennifer becoming the CEO. The stress and responsibility of this and her parents divorce a few years later all found her drinking escalating. Some of her friends told Jennifer's mom about her drinking and staged a small intervention to which Jennifer was not receptive. She assured everyone she was ok, but then just began to isolate when she drank.   After the plan found her becoming the CEO, her drinking went from nights and weekends to drinking all day just to cope. She recognized that this was a problem but was scared to mention it to anyone. This is when she first joined Café RE, started listening to podcasts and trying to learn more about the disease. Jennifer tried a lot of moderation methods but was never successful until she got pregnant with her daughter at 35. She was able to quit drinking while pregnant and a few months after having the baby.   After returning to work, Jennifer says her drinking started right where she left off. She says she was beginning to have disturbing thoughts and finally concluded that she needed help. Not being able to come up with a good way to quit without anyone knowing, she decided to confide in her cousin who she knew would understand.   In January of 2024 at a dinner with her cousin, mom and husband, Jennifer was able to burn the ships, and everyone was very supportive. Upon going to treatment shortly after, Jennifer says she took her recovery very seriously and wanted to make it worth her time.   Journaling and practicing mindfulness are big parts of Jennifer's recovery, she takes time to be present with her daughter and her life, attends meetings and counseling regularly and says stacking habits are important to her growth. Nurturing the sober version of herself has been great for her. Jennifer can see a future now   Jennifer's best sober moment: Walking my daughter to school and being present.   Jennnifer's parting piece of guidance: Don't be afraid to ask for help.     Café RE – promo code OPPORTUNITY waives set up fee. RE merch Instagram   Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes      Recovery Elevator It all starts from the inside out. I love you guys.

Episode 484 – Recovery is a Sandwich   Today we have Brian. He is 59 from Eastern Iowa. He took his last drink on May 23rd, 2023.   Recovery Elevator is going to Vietnam January 9th-20th, 2025. Registration for our newest alcohol-free travel trip opens July 1st and we've got room for 25 passengers. Who's up for seeing the world with a group of travelers who have ditched the booze?   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored   [02:24] Thoughts from Kris:   Kris' topic today is one of the foundational themes in recovery which is telling our story or burning the ships as we refer to it at Recovery Elevator.   Burning the Ships refers to when Hernan Cortez sailed across the ocean and ordered his men to burn their ships when they landed. There was no turning back, no retreat. When we share our story, we can no longer hide from it and are faced to move forward with others having knowledge of our journey.   This isn't a black and white situation so it will be different for everyone, and we each have to do what is right for us. Kris shares the different levels of burning the ships and his experiences with them. He feels that the positives outweigh the negatives. When people hear our stories, not just the stats, it changes their perception. Hearing our stories in others', helps us know we are not alone, and we never know the impact that sharing our stories may have on others.   Think of the moments that have inspired you. What is your version of that? Let Kris know what you think. How has burning the ships played out for you?  Email kris@recoveryelevator.com to share your thoughts.   Athletic Greens: https://www.athleticgreens.com/recovery   [10:48] Kris introduces Brian:   Upon the release of this episode, Brian has just celebrated one year of sobriety! He is married, together they have five adult children and seven grandchildren. Brian is active and enjoys many outdoor activities, home projects, travelling and reading.   Brian grew up on a farm and recalls it was common for people to have drinks after a long day of work. He says he and his friends would sneak beer out of curiosity. When he was in his teens, he and his friends would drive around the gravel roads with a cooler of beer. After graduating high school, Brian joined the military, which was a tradition in his family. He was enlisted for two years and lived the “work hard, play hard” life that is common in that environment.   Shortly after discharge from the Army, Brian got a DUI. He did not feel this was a red flag to stop drinking, just needed to pay the fine and move on. After graduating college, he got his first job in management and married his first wife. They bought land and started a family together. Brian says drinking was mostly social on the weekends and at the local tavern after work.   Brian and his wife got a divorce after 15 years married. Soon after, Brian began suffering from extreme anxiety and panic attacks. He tried medication and meditation to deal with it, but it was still intense.   A few years later, Brian started dating his current wife. They were very social and frequently drank, but she was not a heavy drinker. Brian began to find himself waking up with anxiety and would often change his work hours to accommodate his drinking or recovery from the night before.   In December of 2020 Brian discovered his sister had recently become sober. He feels this really led him to examine his drinking. Upon arriving home from that visit, he started reading a lot and listening to podcasts. He began attending more group chats with Café RE and connecting with other folks in recovery. Brian says his sister taught him a lot of mindfulness exercises which he has found very helpful.    Brian's parting piece of guidance for those considering sobriety: just dig in and try it.   Café RE – promo code OPPORTUNITY waives set up fee. RE merch Instagram   Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes      Recovery Elevator I love you guys. Go big because eventually we'll all go home.