From Hostage To Hero

Most lawyers focus on how to argue damages. Very few spend enough time truly understanding the loss. And jurors can feel that. In this week's episode, I break down the 3 components every damages argument needs: Understanding the loss Valuing the loss Communicating the loss We also talk about: Why metaphor matters How small stories hit harder than big explanations A simple framework I use to think about non-economic damages Because damages aren't about formulas. They're about helping jurors understand what was taken. Love, Sari P.S. If this episode hit home for you, my live webinar on May 28th is going even deeper into how the H2H Method™ helps jurors connect to what actually matters in trial. We're going beyond the FHTH book and into what works in today's courtrooms.Register now → sariswears.com/webinar   Quote: "When everything says trial should be this very formal, sterile process, we have to fight against that. It's a very human process. The things jurors talk about in voir dire — family, health, purpose, connection — those are the exact things your plaintiff lost." Sari de la Motte Can't get enough of me? Connect with me here: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/saridelamotte/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SariSwears Watch on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@SariDLM  Free FB Group for Plaintiff & Criminal Defense Attorneys https://www.facebook.com/groups/fromhostagetohero/

Today is my 54th birthday, which honestly feels surreal to say out loud. And it got me reflecting on how I somehow went from being a classically trained pianist… to becoming the "Queen of Voir Dire." There was no grand plan. No moment where I suddenly felt ready. Just a series of moments where my want became bigger than my worry. In this week's podcast, I share the full story of how I found this work, the risks I took before I could afford to take them, the mentors who changed my life, and the 7 biggest lessons I've learned over the last 24+ years. But more than anything, this episode is about what happens when you stop waiting for certainty and start trusting what you really want. And THANK YOU for being part of this community and this journey with me.

You're spending your voir dire on the wrong thing. And it's not subtle. You're trying to get ahead of the defense's argument—funneling defense points, repeating their story, mapping out everything wrong with what they might bring up. Meanwhile, your jury is soaking up defense point after defense point. That's the problem. Because what you give airtime to, they give weight to. In this week's podcast, I break down the 4 topics you should avoid in voir dire, because they quietly hand power to the other side (even when you think you're doing it right). Love, Sari P.S. If you want to go deeper on this, join me LIVE on May 28th for my Beyond the Book Webinar. I'll walk you through the H2H Method™ and how it actually works in real cases and you can even bring your own case for live feedback. Register NOW → sariswears.com/webinar

You might be asking the wrong questions. Not bad ones.  Just ones that never get past small talk. And if that's happening in your voir dire… you're missing the moment where jurors actually connect. Because connection doesn't come from: "Where are you from?" "What do you do?" "Have you ever…?" It comes from something deeper. From getting jurors to talk about what they value and actually staying there long enough for it to mean something. Most attorneys don't do this. Not because they don't care… but because they've never been shown how. And that gap? It shows up later in your damages. Coach K and I break all of this down in this week's podcast: What a resonant conversation actually is Why it changes the way jurors see your case And how to start shifting your questions (without it feeling forced or awkward) If your jury feels a little disconnected… this is likely why. Love, Sari Download FREE Worksheet Quote:  "What we're really wanting from our jurors is to invest in the process. And the best time to do that is in voir dire — when they can talk about themselves and what they value… because at its core, what our plaintiff attorneys are fighting for are human values, things that we all care about. And that's what was taken in every single case."  Sari de la Motte Can't get enough of me? Connect with me here: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/saridelamotte/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SariSwears Watch on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@SariDLM  Free FB Group for Plaintiff & Criminal Defense Attorneys https://www.facebook.com/groups/fromhostagetohero/

I'm seeing this a lot lately, so let me say it straight: If your case feels too simple, you're probably FINALLY getting it right. You keep trying to add more: more detail, more explanation, more persuasion. But jurors don't need more. They need clarity. When you hit the point where someone hears your case and thinks, "Well… duh," that's the sweet spot. Because "duh" means: It's common sense It's easy to understand It's hard to argue with And most importantly, it triggers the question you want: "If it's so obvious… why didn't they do it?" That's where your power is. Not in being clever. Not in making it complex. In making it undeniable. So if part of you is thinking, "This feels too basic…" Good. Lean in. Love, Sari   Quote:  "If your case makes someone think, 'Well, duh,' that's when you know you've got it right. It means it's clear, it's common sense, and it's something no one can argue with. That's where your power is — not in being clever, but in being undeniable." Sari de la Motte Can't get enough of me? Connect with me here: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/saridelamotte/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SariSwears Watch on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@SariDLM  Free FB Group for Plaintiff & Criminal Defense Attorneys https://www.facebook.com/groups/fromhostagetohero/

Have you ever caught yourself thinking: "Why does everything feel so overwhelming lately?" It might not be your caseload. It might not be your schedule. It might be this: You're making thousands of decisions every single day. Big ones. Small ones. Constant ones. And it's draining you. In this week's episode, I break down the exact tools I use to cut through decision fatigue, so you can STOP spinning and START moving. Here's a quick look: Why "just thinking about it" keeps you stuck (and what actually works instead) How to create a personal litmus test so decisions become automatic The simple shift that instantly reduces overwhelm (hint: zoom out) Because the goal isn't to make more decisions. It's to make fewer and better ones. If you've been feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or mentally tapped out… this one's for you. Love, Sari P.S. If you're stuck between options right now, don't overthink it, grab the free decision-making download and work through it step-by-step: https://sariswears.com/decisions   Quote:  "The average person makes like 35,000 decisions a day… and for trial attorneys, you're making more high-stakes decisions than most people. All of these decisions lead to overwhelm." Sari de la Motte Can't get enough of me? Connect with me here: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/saridelamotte/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SariSwears Watch on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@SariDLM  Free FB Group for Plaintiff & Criminal Defense Attorneys https://www.facebook.com/groups/fromhostagetohero/

Have YOU ever thought: "I don't think I want to do this anymore." Not forever. Not dramatically. Just… quietly, in the back of your mind. In this week's episode, I sat down with Coach K to talk about why so many trial attorneys hit this exact point. And no, you're not alone.

I'm bringing this episode back because this question keeps coming up: "How do I explain my number for non-economic damages?" And here's the truth… You don't. At least not the way most attorneys try to. There is no real formula for non-economic damages. And when you try to force one… jurors can feel that it's not real. What they're actually looking for is much simpler: Do YOU believe the number you're asking for? In this episode, I walk through: The difference between price vs. value Why jurors don't need a calculation And how to present your number in a way they'll trust If you want to actually practice this, my Damages Masterclass is happening THIS June, and this is exactly what we work on. It's small group, hands-on, and designed to change how you show up in court. Give the episode a listen, and if this is something you've struggled with, come work through it with me in June. Tune in NOW!

This is my most listened-to podcast episode… ever.

What if the issue isn't your case… but HOW you're thinking about the jury? Most lawyers won't say this out loud, but it's happening. You're asking the jury to do MORE than their job. Not just decide the case, but decide if you're good enough. If they rule in your favor → you feel validated. If they don't → you question everything. That's the trap. Because the jury's job is simple: hold bad actors accountable. That's it. They are NOT there to:

One of our H2H™ crew members, Chrissy Hagen, recently tried a medical malpractice case that resulted in a defense verdict. After trial, she reached out with a great question: Should we be spending MORE time addressing defense points during trial? In this episode, we talk through:

What's actually motivating you in trial?

Let's talk about the voice in your head. The one that says: "You should settle." "You're not ready." "If you lose, you're exposed." That's NOT wisdom. That's your saboteur and it's trying to keep you "safe." In this week's episode, I break down:

You ever feel like your brain just… won't cooperate?

Michael was here in Portland for our January Masterclass… so of COURSE I had to take the opportunity to sit down with him in the podcast room.

I'm joined by special guest Nate Cobb, a New Mexico-based trial lawyer who used to say, "I don't need that mindset stuff." Until a case forced him to find out the hard way that mindset isn't optional — it's EVERYTHING. In this episode, Nate breaks down a recent case that settled mid-trial for $17.5 million and exactly what made the difference when the pressure was on. We talk about:

One decision changed Tom D'Amore's (one of my FAVORITE clients) entire practice: He stopped being "great at settling cases"… and became a trial beast. In this episode, Tom and I break down what actually shifted everything:

Here's what I see all the time in trial openings:

Hot take: Closing is NOT your last chance to re-argue the evidence. By the time you stand up, jurors are overloaded, stressed, and terrified of getting it wrong. And piling on more facts? That's not helping. Closing has one job

If delegating feels risky and holding on feels exhausting, this episode will hit home. On the podcast this week, I'm joined by Coach K and Meredith Berg, an EOS Implementer, to talk about the real reason running your firm feels so damn heavy — and what ACTUALLY fixes it.

This year will look EXACTLY like last year unless something deeper changes. MOST people don't fail because they lack discipline or ambition. They fail because they're chasing results instead of identity. You don't want the verdict. You want the feeling you think comes with it. And here's the part no one wants to admit: Willpower is trash. It runs out. Every time. In this week's podcast, I break down: ⚡ Why goals alone don't work ⚡ Why "doing more" keeps you stuck ⚡ Why everything shifts when you decide who you are first If you want different results this year, don't write a longer to-do list… Decide who the hell you are. Then act like it. The rest follows. Tune in NOW!

If you're a trial lawyer, you've probably been told some version of this:

The year is winding down. Trials are slowing. Your brain is STILL going a mile a minute. This week on Sari Swears, I'm joined by guest speaker Coach K for a conversation that feels like hitting the reset button before the new year. We talk through the mindset traps that quietly wear trial lawyers down and what to do about them. We Break Down:

Have you ever felt COMPLETELY drained by this work… even when everything is technically "going fine"? Not just tired, but heavy? That's exactly what we're talking about this week on Sari Swears and Coach K is back with me for this episode. We're diving into secondary trauma — the kind you absorb from:

Let's talk about money. Specifically: what money can buy... and what it can't. That distinction? It's everything in trial. And it's everything when it comes to damages. Economic damages? You've got bills, life care plans, receipts… Non-economic? You're asking the jury to put a number on grief. On lost joy. On the inability to hold your child again. In this podcast episode, I'll show you EXACTLY how to:   ✅ Separate price from value in voir dire, opening, and closing ✅ Use stand-in language and metaphor to anchor your ask ✅ Reframe the jury's role so they stop thinking they're buying something and start seeing what their number really represents If you've ever struggled to confidently ask for a big number… This one is for YOU. Tune in NOW!

If you're anything like I was a few years ago… You're doing everything. You're hustling. You're building. And you're running a successful business. BUT, you STILL feel trapped. That's because you're operating like a solopreneur, not an entrepreneur. (Spoiler: one burns out, the other builds a team.) In this week's podcast, I'm sharing something outside of the trial world, but essential to your success inside the courtroom:

Do you ever catch yourself repeating things in trial and worry it's too much? Let me stop you right there: it's NOT too much. In fact, you probably need to repeat yourself MORE. This week's podcast episode is all about how intentional repetition helps your jurors: ✔️ Understand your case ✔️ Remember your core messages ✔️ Trust YOU Too many attorneys are afraid of sounding redundant. But repetition, when done right, is one of the most powerful teaching tools you have. In the episode, I break down:

You ever meet someone and think, "Oh, they're about to break wide open." That was PI attorney Shaun Lieser. When he first joined our H2H world, he was smart (still is), capable (still is), and honestly?  A little stuck. Then he FLIPPED the switch. Inside the episode, we talk about:

Ever been in a conversation that went sideways fast?

If instinct is your only strategy in the courtroom, you've already lost ground. This week's episode might ruffle a few feathers. Because I'm calling BS on the myth of "natural trial talent." You know the one.

If you've ever found yourself spiraling mid-trial, wondering “am I doing this right?” — this episode is for you. Because here's the truth:  ⚡️ There is no “right.” ⚡️ You can't perform your way to presence. ⚡️ You can't think your way into connection. You have to practice being present. In this episode, I share 7 ways to step out of your head and into the courtroom with power and presence.  Here are 3 to get you started:

We've all done it. Sat at our desk, typing out an opening statement word-for-word, hoping it'll somehow click once we're standing in court. But here's the thing: The way you practice is the way you'll perform. And if you're only rehearsing in your head, hunched over a keyboard, your brain's gonna BAIL on you the moment you stand up. In this week's podcast episode, I'm breaking down how to FINALLY get off your notes and deliver an opening that's confident, conversational, and compelling. I'm giving you:

Have you ever heard a phrase in court and cringe a little? Not because it's wrong, but because it's so… overused.  We've all said them. BUT.  The game has changed. Jurors are sharper. Attention is shorter.  And credibility is everything. So in this week's podcast, I'm breaking down 7 phrases that are killing your case and offering better ways to build connection and trust. Tune in NOW!

I recently sat down with Mike Takla on the Bad Law, Worse Facts podcast, and we went deep.

Life hurts sometimes.

This week's episode is a little different. Raw. Real. And one of the MOST powerful stories we've ever shared on the podcast. I sat down with the incredible Kim Valentine — a powerhouse trial attorney who went from being homeless and addicted… To someone who now walks into the courtroom fully expressed, fully embodied, and fully herself.

Welcome to the very first episode of Sari Swears — the podcast that FINALLY sounds like me, looks like me, and says the things I've ALWAYS wanted to say without editing myself down to fit in a box. We ditched the old name.  Rebuilt the studio.  And YES — there's a theme song now that SLAPS. This episode is the start of something completely new.

This week's episode is your blueprint for setting the bar (and the boundaries) before the case ever starts. We're talking SYSTEMS that protect your time, your team, and your peace. We're getting into:

Ever wonder what you're REALLY communicating in the courtroom? Your posture. Your tone. Your presence. It ALL lands with the jury LONG before your words do. This week, I'm talking about something I call Nonverbal Intelligence and WHY it's one of the most overlooked (and powerful) tools in your trial arsenal. Here's what we get into:

Your brain's job? To keep you safe. Your job? To lead anyway. Most of the fear you feel in trial is fake news — just recycled thoughts about losing, judgment, or not measuring up. But here's the kicker: Your thoughts aren't facts, and you can rewrite them. This week's episode hands you the tools to:

There's this quiet habit so many of you have… AND it's costing you in the courtroom. You're waiting. Waiting to be liked. Waiting to be approved of. Waiting for some signal that it's safe to lead. But here's the truth: Nobody hands you authority in that courtroom, you CLAIM it. In this episode, I'm diving into what I call the Permission Principle.  So many of you are holding back without even realizing it.

Jurors DON'T need a show. They NEED a leader. In this week's episode, I'm handing you the entire back-of-house blueprint, so you can finally STOP faking confidence and START generating real influence — WITHOUT THE BURNOUT. Ditch the fear-based prep. Drop the performance act. And lead the hell out of your next trial.

People always ask me: "How do I get big verdicts using the H2H Method?" Well… this episode breaks it down. No fluff. Just the real, step-by-step story of how I used H2H to help secure an 8-figure verdict in a REAL case. From the very FIRST consult to the moment the jury DELIVERED the verdict — this is exactly what went down. In this episode, I walk you through:

Waiting to feel confident before stepping into court is like waiting to get in shape BEFORE hitting the gym. Cute idea, but that's not how this works. PLEASE, for the love of voir dire: ❌ STOP rehearsing defeat. ❌ STOP letting fear run your case. ❌ STOP pretending some “big name” lawyer is better for your case than you are. 

Let's be real… life's heavy right now. Trial?  Even heavier. So I'm bringing back one of MY favorite episodes… Because we could all use a reminder that joy is part of the job

Jurors won't follow a lawyer who second-guesses. If dread runs your prep… it's running your case. Break the cycle before it breaks your case.

Bringing back one of the MOST popular debriefs EVER on my podcast. Scott Maucere had a complex securities fraud case — three state laws, seven claims, and 11 defendants. And he shaped it into a sharp and simple story the jury didn't JUST understand… they BELIEVED in it. And yes… he brought a pink piggy bank into court, pulled out a hammer and made the jury GASP.

Ever walked out of a courtroom feeling defeated and thought, "Maybe I'm not as great as I hoped?" I know you've been there. But I want you to remember:

Yeah, I turned 50 three years ago... BUT. Everything I said back then?  Still true.  Maybe truer. This encore episode is about what I've learned after five decades of building a life, a business, and a body that BEAT f*cking cancer — and what I REFUSE to do anymore. If you're GRINDING your way to some imaginary finish line… If you're WAITING to enjoy the life you've already built… You NEED to hear this. You're so focused on the end, you're missing the life happening right NOW. Love, Sari    Quote:  “The point is the journey, my friends. It's not where we're headed. It's not where we think happiness lies. Happiness lies in enjoying the journey.”  — Sari de la Motte   * * * * JOIN US FOR COMMAND THE COURTROOM: 2-DAY IN-PERSON OPENING MASTERCLASS WITH SARI DE LA MOTTE * * * *   

Have you ever realized that every verdict you've EVER won started BEFORE you “felt” ready? That is because… ⚡ “READY” is a decision, not a feeling. ⚡ Take this 15-minute power shot and hit the ground running: 1️⃣ Myth-buster: Perfection ≈ Procrastination → Fastest path to regret. 2️⃣ Mind-hack: Swap “someday” for “right f–ing now” by reframing this belief. 3️⃣ Action trigger: A 3-word mantra that karate-chops analysis paralysis right in the throat.  Count backwards from 3, then just. fucking. go. 

Hosted by the one and only Kevin de la Motte — my husband, our lead mindset coach, and beloved “Coach K” to the H2H crew. In this powerful episode, Kevin takes on a habit so MANY trial attorneys cling to: over-preparing.  And he shows you how it's NOT helping your case — in fact, it might be hurting it. Inside, Kevin breaks down: ⚡️ 3 damaging myths about preparation ⚡️ Why you'll never feel “100% ready” — and why that's okay ⚡️ What actually wins cases (hint: it's not your color-coded outline) ⚡️ The mindset practice that can shift everything in the courtroom You've got nothing to prove. But you DO have a powerful message to deliver. Let Kevin show you how to show up as the badass you already are. Tune in NOW!