Java with Juli

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Juli Slattery sits down with guests over coffee and you get to join them. We have honest conversations about sex, marriage, pornography, intimacy, singleness, truth and God's design for sexuality.

Authentic Intimacy®


    • Jun 2, 2025 LATEST EPISODE
    • weekly NEW EPISODES
    • 43m AVG DURATION
    • 313 EPISODES

    4.9 from 1,446 ratings Listeners of Java with Juli that love the show mention: slattery, java, thank you juli, rethinking, christian marriages, biblical view, covenant, reading books, sexuality, great biblical, intimacy, sexual abuse, wounds, hard topics, tough topics, biblical perspective, christian perspective, julie, tackling, biblical truth.


    Ivy Insights

    The Java with Juli podcast is a valuable resource that offers insightful and thought-provoking discussions on a variety of topics. Whether you're in a new relationship or looking to deepen your understanding of biblical sexuality, this podcast provides a space for reflection and growth. Host Julie Slattery is easy to listen to and creates an atmosphere that feels like having a chat with a friend. The inclusion of Scripture keeps the conversations centered on truth and provides encouragement and guidance. This podcast is truly a gift.

    One of the best aspects of The Java with Juli podcast is the range of topics that are addressed. From issues related to biblical sexuality and relationships to parenting and personal healing, there is something for everyone. Each episode tackles these hard conversations head-on, but does so with love, compassion, and an open-minded perspective that considers all viewpoints. The guests brought on the show also offer unique insights and add depth to the discussions.

    The only downside to this podcast is that it doesn't publish episodes frequently enough. Listeners eagerly await new episodes because they appreciate the knowledge and wisdom shared by Julie Slattery and her guests. It would be beneficial if there were more frequent releases to keep up with the demand for this valuable content.

    In conclusion, The Java with Juli podcast is a must-listen for those seeking guidance on biblical sexuality, relationships, parenting, healing, and more. Julie Slattery's approach brings together objective analysis, scientific research, and biblical teachings in a way that is relatable and accessible. This podcast has the power to transform marriages, help individuals heal from trauma, and provide clarity on often overlooked topics within the Christian church.



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    Latest episodes from Java with Juli

    God's Design for Sexuality: Teaching Kids to Stand Firm & Love Big, #569

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 2, 2025 44:15


    Want to raise faithful and loving kids in an LGBT-affirming world? This episode is one you can't afford to skip. You don't have to choose between truth and love—this conversation will equip you to give your kids both. Grab your Java and join us!  Guest: Rachel Gilson    Follow-up Resources: Parenting Without Panic in an LGBT-Affirming World by Rachel Gilson Java with Juli  #312 Born Again This Way: Rachel's Story (AI Members Only) Sign up for our email list and stay in the know about all things happening around Juli's upcoming book, Surrendered Sexuality.

    Unpacking Emotional Baggage: How to Get to the Root of Conflict in Marriage with Dr. Dan Allender, #568

    Play Episode Listen Later May 26, 2025 49:58


    Turns out, the stuff we haven't dealt with from childhood shows up ... right in the middle of our relationships. Sit down with Juli and Dr. Dan Allender as they discuss why we must be willing to explore our own stories in order to create safety, nurture curiosity, and repair what's broken. Guest: Dr. Dan Allender   Follow-up Resources: The Deep-Rooted Marriage by Dr. Dan Allender Java with Juli #169 Your Wounded Heart (AI Members Only) Join an Online Book Study!

    3 Myths We Believe About "Being One" In Marriage, #567

    Play Episode Listen Later May 19, 2025 27:42


    We spend a lot of our marriages thinking that “becoming one” means, "You'll become more like me. And once you become more like me, then we'll become one." Instead, what if you could say to your spouse, “I can love you just the way you are without having to change you.” If that's the kind of oneness you want for your marriage (present or future), grab your Java and pull up a chair with Juli and Hannah. Co-host: Hannah Nitz (@hannahnitz)   Follow-up Resources: My Husband Isn't My Best Friend (blog) Join an Authentic Intimacy Online Book Study!

    AI & Porn: The Attachment Crisis No One Sees Coming, #566

    Play Episode Listen Later May 12, 2025 46:22


    AI is changing the game when it comes to pornography—and it's becoming more addictive and more dehumanizing than ever. This episode explores the impact of modern porn, including its ties to fantasy, gaming, and a distorted view of connection. If you or someone you love is navigating this journey, there is hope! Guests: Jonathan Daugherty & Joel Warneking   Follow-up Resources: Join an Online Book Study!  Hot Topic Kit: Porn in Marriage (for AI Members)—not a member, get it here. Gateway to Freedom Intensive Workshop 423 Communities, 423 Podcast

    How to (Really) Love Your Neighbor with Jada Edwards, Ep. #565

    Play Episode Listen Later May 5, 2025 47:50


    The relationships you struggle with the most? This episode is for those. Juli sits down with Bible teacher Jada Edwards to share stories about the ways they've fallen short when it comes to loving others, and how God has transformed their understanding of what it means to love the way He does. (Spoiler alert: Sometimes the best way to learn love is to start with the person who bugs you the most.) Guest: Jada Edwards (@jada_edwards)   Resources: Sign up for our email list and stay in the know! Jada's book: A New Way to Love Your Neighbor How to Have Tough Conversations (blog) Encountering the Radical Love of Jesus (blog) AI Members Only: Why “Love Is Love” Doesn't Mean What You Think It Means, Ep. #401  

    #564 Why People Turn to Porn and How to Break the Cycle

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 28, 2025 36:35


    Sadly, wrestling with pornography addiction is increasingly commonplace. But how do people find pornography? And why do they keep going back to it? In the final of this series revisiting Reclaim, Troy and Melissa Haas of HopeQuest, share their testimony and expertise around pornography addiction, and what it takes to overcome it.   Guests: Troy and Melissa Haas   Troy and Melissa's Website: hopequestgroup.org/ Troy and Melissa's Instagram: @hopequestgroup   Partner financially with Authentic Intimacy!   Resource: #549 What the Latest Research Shows About Porn Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.

    #563 Practical Advice for Talking to Kids About Sex and Culture

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 21, 2025 46:17


    Navigating the teenage years has never been easy, whether you're the parent or the child. So as parents, how can you help your teenager or pre-teen have a better experience? What practically can you do to put them in a stronger position to navigate their teenage years safely, with more clarity about God's love for them and design for their sexuality? Three guests – James Talbert, Josh Miller, and Chelsey Nutgren – join Juli to share some much-needed practical advice for raising surrendered kids in our current cultural moment.   Guests: James Talbert, Josh Miller, Chelsey Nutgren   James' Website: Citizens Akron Josh's Website: Riverwood Chapel Akron   Website: AXIS.org Website: Center for Humane Technology   Resource Series: Blog: Talking to Your Kids About Sex: Why, When, and How Blog: 5 Reasons You're Not Talking to Your Kids About Sex (and How to Overcome Them) Blog: Sexual Integrity: The Heart of Sexually Discipling Your Kids   Find out more about donating to Authentic Intimacy.   Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.

    #562 The Best Way to Stop Fighting in Your Marriage

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 14, 2025 41:43


    James 4:1 so famously writes, “What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you?” It's not surprising that marriage is a hotbed for conflict. When you live so closely with someone else, it's easy to see their flaws, shortcomings, and mistakes in high definition. So what can you do to stop constantly fighting? In this special session from Reclaim 2024, Brad Rhoads shares what helped cut fighting and elevate fun in his marriage. Guests: Brad Rhodes, Grace Marriage Brad's Website: gracemarriage.com Brad's Instagram: @grace_marriage   Blog: Forgiveness is Hard, Grace is Harder   Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.

    #561 Help for Christian Wives Who Don't Like Sex

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 7, 2025 65:41


    We've talked about the fact that many women struggle to ‘flip the switch' and enjoy married sex, and we've talked about what might contribute to that. But we haven't talked about what husbands can do to help their wives enjoy sex. Juli shares a conversation from Gary Thomas' Podcast where she was a panelist alongside Debra Fileta and Belah Rose.   Host: Gary Thomas   Featured Speakers: Dr. Juli Slattery, Debra Fileta, MA, LPC and Belah Rose   Gary's Website: garythomas.com Gary's Newsletter: garythomasbooks.substack.com   Book: Married Sex by Gary Thomas and Debra Fileta, MA, LPC Book: Rethinking Sexuality by Dr. Juli Slattery Book: God, Sex and Your Marriage by Dr. Juli Slattery   Juli's Website: authenticintimacy.com Debra's Website: debrafileta.com Belah's Website: delightyourmarriage.com   Please support Joy and Zack Skarka on GoFundMe   Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.

    #560 Can Biblical Churches be LGBTQ-friendly?

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 31, 2025 53:16


    There are so many challenges that come with leading a church well, especially when it comes to how to express their stance on Biblical sexuality. Many want to be a place where people can wrestle with the truth about God and sex and figure things out, while also being sure to prioritize biblical orthodoxy. How can they do both? Pastor Evan Wickham, from Park Hill Church in San Diego, joins Juli to share lessons he's learned and what his church is doing to lead biblically with clarity and love.   NOTE: We had some technical issues with recording this episode, but wanted to make sure you got to hear a great conversation--thanks for being patient with us!   Guest: Evan Wickham   Park Hill's Instagram: @prkhllchrch Evan's Instagram: @evanwickham   Park Hill's Website: parkhillsd.church   Join our email list!   Blog: Has God Changed His Mind About Sex?   Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.

    #559 What if Male Sexuality Is More Complex Than We Think?

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 24, 2025 49:42


    Historically, inside and outside the church, male sexuality has been talked about as a purely orgasm-driven experience. But is it possible we have oversimplified the male sexual experience? What if there's more to the way men think and feel about sex than we've previously considered?  Dr. Corey Allan joins Juli for a very different conversation about male sexuality. Guest: Dr. Corey Allan Corey's Website: smr.fm Corey's Instagram: @sexymarriageradio   Resource: Purity Culture Failed Men Too   Sign up for the email list!   Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.

    #558 Christians Need To Change The Way They Talk About Married Sex

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 17, 2025 30:43


    As we work to change the purity narrative and undo many of its effects, we have to look at some of the continued harm it does to marriages. There's still so much missing in the way Christian couples are taught about marital intimacy. How can Christians celebrate the gift of sex that God gave in marriage? Juli shares a conversation she had with the late Dr. Doug Rosenau, where he shared both what is missing and what is needed in the church when it comes to talking about the beauty of sex in marriage.   Guest: Dr. Doug Rosenau, Institute for Sexual Wholeness   Institute for Sexual Wholeness   Book: The Gift of Sex: A Guide to Sexual Fulfillment by Clifford and Joyce Penner Book: A Celebration of Sex: A Guide to Enjoying God's Gift of Sexual Intimacy by Douglas E. Rosenau   Podcast: #543 How the Old Testament Reveals God's Heart for Women, Sex, and Covenant Love   Transcript 00:00 - Introduction to Christian Sexuality Conversations 03:14 - The Church's Perspective on Sex in Marriage 16:26 - Understanding Female Sexuality and Mutual Pleasure 29:13 - Nuancing Gender and Desire in Sexual Conversations   Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.

    #557 Understanding The Harm of Purity Culture and How to Move Forward

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 10, 2025 43:29


    One of the biggest criticisms of purity culture is the way it reduced sexuality to a list of do's and don'ts, but there are lots of other reasons millennial men and women report feeling burned by it. Dr. Camden Morgante, author of “Recovering from Purity Culture”, shares some of the harmful narratives that formed the movement, and provides some alternative approaches to discussing sexuality.   Guest: Dr. Camden Morgante   Website: drcamden.com Instagram: @drcamden   Book: Recovering From Purity Culture by Dr. Camden Morgante Free Resource: Why You Still Need Boundaries As You Pursue Sexual Integrity   Sign up for our email list!   Timestamps 00:00 Introduction to Purity Culture 02:13 Camden's Personal Journey and Professional Insights 05:58 Understanding the Harm of Purity Culture 09:52 Navigating Sexual Awakening in Adolescence 13:58 The Importance of Teaching Values 15:57 Dating Dynamics and Courtship Culture 22:08 Modesty and Its Misinterpretations 25:07 The Role of Patriarchy in Purity Culture 30:54 Steps Towards Healing and Wholeness 39:03 Conclusion and Final Thoughts   Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.

    #556 Why We Can't Ignore What Offends Us About Jesus

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 3, 2025 40:33


    If questions about sex lead to questions about God, it's important that we know and follow Jesus as He really is. Rick Lawrence, author of “Editing Jesus”, joins Juli to discuss how many American Christians make Jesus into an image other than Himself.   Guest: Rick Lawrence   Rick's Website: ricklawrence.com Book: Editing Jesus: Confronting the Distorted Faith of the American Church by Rick Lawrence   Join our email list! Guide: “3 Reasons Questions About Sex Lead to Questions about God”   Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.

    #555 Can You Have A Great Marriage Without Sex? Juli Answers Your Questions

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 24, 2025 39:56


    In this special Q&A episode, Juli answers your questions about sex and marriage. You'll hear answers to questions like, why did God make us sexual when it causes so much pain? Does sex matter in marriage? And, is it possible to be too focused on sex in marriage?   Join Juli and Hannah for a brief exploration of good biblical theology on sex and marriage.   Co-host: Hannah Nitz   Hannah's Website: hannahnitz.com Hannah's Instagram: @hannahnitz   Blog: Overcoming Sexual Shame and Fear in Marriage Blog: Help! How Much Sex is “Normal” for Married Couples?   Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.

    #554 Sex and the Female Body: How to Swap Shame For Celebration

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 17, 2025 46:23


    How can women overcome fear and shame around their bodies and embrace the beauty of God's design for sex? Whether from purity culture, other messages, or poor experiences, many women don't see their bodies and sex as good or beautiful. Francie Winslow, host of the podcast “Heaven in Your Home” went through her own struggle with this, and joins Juli to explain how she is learning to embrace the goodness of God's design.   Guest: Francie Winslow   Website: franciewinslow.com Instagram: @franciewinslow   Strong Foundation To Starting Well: Claiming A Healthy Vision For Married Sex Pleasure & Orgasm: Passion & Practicals Of A Wife Receiving Pleasure   Java with Juli: #550 What to Do When Sex is Painful   Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.

    #553 Divorce and Separation: How to Know What to Do

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 10, 2025 39:35


    When a marriage is in crisis, it can be hard to know what the next step should be. Is divorce the only option? Are there other steps available that couples often miss? Dr. Greg Smalley, Vice President of Marriage and Family Formation at Focus on the Family, joins Juli to talk about some of the options couples can explore.     Guest: Dr. Greg Smalley     Focus on the Family Website   Java with Juli: #489 Thinking About Divorce? You Might Want to Listen to This First Java with Juli: #519 Why we Need to be Better at Caring for Divorced People in the Church   Blog: Why and How to Pursue a Healing Separation Blog: Is Divorce the Right Answer?   Become a member!   Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.

    #552 When You Want Sex More Than Your Husband Does

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 3, 2025 32:44


    It's reported that 20-30% of marriages have a higher-desire wife and lower-desire husband. This means that while many women may wish their husbands requested less sex, there are also many women who experience the opposite. For the woman who wants her husband to want sex a little more, Sheri Mueller, LCPC, author of “I Want Him to Want Me”, joins Juli to share insights, wisdom, and encouragement.   Guest: Sheri Mueller, LCPC   Sheri's Website: marriagetrac.com Sheri's Instagram: @growthtrac   Book: I Want Him to Want Me by Sheri Mueller, LCPC Blog: Why Christians Need to Care About Sex   Missed last week's episode? Listen to it here.   Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.

    #551 How Keeping Secrets Keeps Us in Shame

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 27, 2025 41:56


    What secret are you keeping? Many of us keep secrets to protect ourselves. But secrets also hide us from others. They can prevent us from being fully known and fully loved. Jason VanRuler, author of “Get Past Your Past”, joins Juli to share some insights about secrecy and why it's worth us living in the light.   Guest: Jason VanRuler   Website: jasonvr.com Instagram: @jason.vanruler   Book: Get Past Your Past by Jason VanRuler   Java with Juli: #539 The Impact Of Shame And How To Overcome It   Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.

    #550 What to Do When Sex is Painful

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 20, 2025 38:57


    Sexual pain makes sex challenging, stressful, and a source of tension rather than a source of pleasure. Sadly, it's a very present reality for many couples, and one that can quickly erode sexual intimacy for years or even decades. Many women are told to ‘watch porn', ‘drink wine', or ‘relax', with no clear diagnosis found and no real solution given. Today's guest, Jess Setiz, knows this reality all too well. Now a trauma-informed pelvic health practitioner, Jess struggled through painful sex for 8 years before she and her husband were able to find a solution that really worked. She joins Juli to share what she learned, and how she's helping other women enjoy pleasurable, pain-free sex.   Guest: Jess Seitz   Website: painfreeintimacy.com Instagram: @painfree.intimacy Facebook Group   Java with Juli: #547 How to Talk to Your Spouse About Sex Check out more resources on sex in marriage   Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.

    #549 What the Latest Research Shows About Porn

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 13, 2025 42:26


    How many men and women consume porn on a regular basis? How common is porn use within the church? How is porn affecting us?   Nick Stumbo, Executive Director of Pure Desire Ministries, unpacks the surprising results of a recent study conducted by Barna on pornography use, and shares potential solutions.     Guest: Nick Stumbo, Pure Desire Ministries     Website: puredesire.org Instagram: @puredesirepdmi   Beyond the Porn Phenomenon Report   Java with Juli: #542 A Pastor, His Porn Problem, and How His Church Restored Him Missed last week's episode? Click here to listen to it! Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.

    #548 How To Repair Your Relationships

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 6, 2025 60:01


    What does it take to have good friendships, healthy family relationships, or a strong marriage? John Van Epp, creator of the RAM theoretical model, has some strong and well-researched ideas about what it takes to make your relationships stronger than ever.   Guest: Dr. John Van Epp   John's Website: lovethinks.com Book: Endgame: The Church's Strategic Move to Save Faith and Family in America by John Van Epp and J.P. De Gance Book: Becoming Better Together  by John Van Epp Website: ramseries.com   Java with Juli: #539 The Impact Of Shame And How To Overcome It   Learn more about online book studies   Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.

    #547 How to Talk to Your Spouse About Sex

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 30, 2024 48:26


    Talking about sex and sexual issues with your spouse can be intimidating. Dr Corey Allan breaks down why discussing sex can be challenging for married couples, and what husbands and wives can do about it.   Corey's Website: smr.fm Corey's Instagram: @sexymarriageradio   Explore more resources on sex in marriage!   Java with Juli: #528 The 3 Superpowers Your Sex Life is Missing Java with Juli: #534 Four Surprising Things Killing Your Wife's Sex Drive Blog: How To Talk to Your Spouse About Sex   Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.

    #546 Answering the Most Popular Questions on Sex, Dating, and Singleness

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 23, 2024 43:27


    Juli and Hannah answer your questions about sex and singleness in this week's special Java with Juli episode.   Hannah's Website: hannahnitz.com Hannah's Instagram: @hannahnitz   Explore resources on Singleness and Dating   Check out our online book studies!   Partner with Authentic Intimacy— donate today!   Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.

    #545 George Barna: Parenting and Discipleship in a Sexually Chaotic World

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 16, 2024 49:02


    Raising your kids to love and know Jesus has never been easy, and in a culture saturated with messages about human sexuality, it can feel next to impossible to raise your kids with biblical values and a Christian sexual ethic. How do we effectively disciple our kids? Dr. George Barna, founder of the Barna Group and America's foremost faith and culture researcher, joins Juli to talk about his new book, “Raising Spiritual Champions”, and what parents can do to equip their kids with a robust faith.   Website: georgebarna.com Book: Raising Spiritual Champions by Dr. George Barna   Trying to teach your kids about Christian sexuality? Check out our free resource, “10 Questions and Answers Your Child May Ask About Sexuality”   Partner with Authentic Intimacy— donate today!   Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.

    #544 What You Need To Know About Sex, Aging and Menopause

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 9, 2024 49:27


    How do you know you've started menopause? Can you get pregnant during menopause? What happens to your sex drive during menopause? Experts Dr. Debra Taylor, LMFT and Dr. Michael Sytsma, CST, CPS, join Juli to share some crucial information about menopause, options for easing symptoms, and how husbands can be sympathetic supporters at this pivotal moment in a woman's life.   Guests: Dr. Debra Taylor, LMFT and Dr. Michael Sytsma, CST, CPS   Debra's Website: debraltaylortherapy.com Mike's Website: intimatemarriage.org Mike's Instagram: @buildingintimatemarriages @drsytsma   Find out more about our Online Book Study groups! Partner with Authentic Intimacy!   Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.

    #543 How the Old Testament Reveals God's Heart for Women, Sex, and Covenant Love

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 2, 2024 42:25


    Was the God of the Old Testament less benevolent than the God of the New Testament? Or are too many of us missing the greater truths and narratives woven into a beautiful, historic text? Dr. Sandra Richter, author of The Epic of Eden, joins Juli to bring a rich and refreshing perspective to women, God, and the Old Testament.   Guest: Dr. Sandra Richter   Sandra's Website: linktr.ee/sandralynrichter Sandra's Instagram: @sandralynrichter   Book: The Epic of Eden: A Christian Entry into the Old Testament by Dr. Sandra Richter Book: Deborah Bible Study Guide plus Streaming Video: Unlikely Heroes and the Book of Judges (Epic of Eden) by Dr. Sandra Richter   Donate to Authentic Intimacy!   Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.

    #542 A Pastor, His Porn Problem, and How His Church Restored Him

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 25, 2024 44:23


    What should a pastor with a porn problem do? How should his church respond? Pastor Garrett Kell joins Juli on the podcast to talk about his years-long struggle with porn, coming clean, and how his church responded to his sin.   Garrett's Instagram: @j.garrett.kell Book: Pure in Heart: Sexual Sin and the Promises of God by J. Garrett Kell   Donate to Authentic Intimacy on Giving Tuesday!   Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.

    #541 Teaching Sexuality: Pitfalls, Purity Culture, and the Best Path Forward

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 18, 2024 56:16


    Purity culture taught a lot of unhelpful things and left a lot of questions unanswered for believers. While it's clear a new approach is needed, it's challenging to know how to leave legalism behind and teach a true-to-scripture vision of sexuality. Noah Filipiak, the author of Beyond the Battle, joins Juli to share where he sees a need to educate today's youth, and why he wrote his new book, “Needed Navigation”.   Guest: Noah Filipiak   Book: Beyond the Battle by Noah Filipiak Book: Needed Navigation: A Teen's Guide to His or Her Identity in Christ in a Sex & Porn-Filled World by Noah Filipiak   Java with Juli: #535 What Men Weren't Taught About Sex (with Sam Jolman) Partner with AI   SUBMIT A QUESTION FOR THE SHOW!   Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.

    #540 A Pastoral Perspective on Supporting Those with Gender Dysphoria

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 11, 2024 44:56


    Knowing what God's word says about a topic and walking that out in a way that honors Him and dignifies others are two very different things. So how do we move in love and integrity towards friends and loved ones struggling with gender dysphoria? Pastor Sam Ferguson joins Juli to get practical about loving the hearts of hurting people while staying rooted in God's Word.   Guest: Sam Ferguson   Book: Does God Care About Gender Identity? By Sam Ferguson SUBMIT A QUESTION FOR THE SHOW!   Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.

    #539 The Impact Of Shame And How To Overcome It

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 4, 2024 44:54


    We all experience shame, and for many of us that shame is deeply connected to our sexuality. “Why am I drawn to sinful things?” “Will I ever overcome my addictions?” When it comes to addressing shame, few of us know how to address it effectively, so Curt Thompson, MD, author of “The Soul of Shame”, joins Juli to help explain what it is, where it comes from, and what to do with it.   Guest: Curt Thompson, MD   Curt's website: curtthompsonmd.com Curt's Instagram: @curtthompsonmd   Book: The Soul of Shame by Curt Thompson, MD   SUBMIT A QUESTION FOR THE SHOW!   Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.

    #538 How I Rebuilt Faith In God After Church Abuse

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 28, 2024 44:16


    buse so often warps our sense of self and our sense of who God is. How do you lose the lies and rediscover your faith? Author and adventurer Ryan George joins Juli to talk about how he disentangled the manipulation and abuse of his past and discovered who God really is.     Guest: Ryan George     Ryan's Website: explorience.org Ryan's Instagram: @ryplane   Book: Hurt and Healed by the Church by Ryan George   Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.

    #537 Can You Be a Christian Feminist?

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 21, 2024 44:18


    Why did God design our bodies the way He did? Is our gender more than our bodies? What does it look like to live out our male and femaleness? Dr. Abigail Favale, author of “The Genesis of Gender”, joins Juli to talk about why our bodies matter and how to cultivate a deep and rich theology around sex and gender.     Guest: Dr. Abigail Favale     Abigail's website: abigailfavale.wixsite.com/home  Book: The Genesis of Gender by Dr. Abigail Favale   Learn more about becoming an Authentic Intimacy member!   Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.

    #248 Gay Girl, Good God: Jackie Hill Perry's Story

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 14, 2024 43:59


    When we struggle with sexual sin, what is God's ultimate hope for us? Is it that we stop our sexual sin? Or does it go beyond that to addressing our sinful nature and hearts, bringing us to a place of submission and surrender? Jackie Hill Perry shares how God drew her to Himself and brought her out of a lesbian lifestyle.   Guest: Jackie Hill Perry     Book: Gay Girl, Good God by Jackie Hill Perry   REGISTER FOR RECLAIM: SURRENDERED SEXUALITY! Learn more about becoming an Authentic Intimacy member!   Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.

    #536 How To Help Your Kids Avoid Identity Traps

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 7, 2024 48:51


    How do we root our identities in Christ and help our children do the same? Jonathan Holmes, Executive Director at Fieldstone Counseling, shares with Juli how we can avoid identity traps and teach our kids to do the same. Guest: Jonathan Holmes Jonathan's Instagram: @akjonathanholmes Book: Grounded in Grace: Helping Kids Build Their Identity in Christ by Jonathan Holmes   Get more info about Reclaim: Surrendered Sexuality!   Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.

    #297 Finding Freedom in the Midst of Brokenness

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 30, 2024 43:44


    Many men and women experiencing same-sex attraction struggle to imagine they can be loved by God and live a life of real freedom. Is there a future where you can be free and fulfilled? Laurence Koo, guest speaker at our upcoming Reclaim Conference, joins Juli to share what freedom looks like when you experience same-sex attraction.   Guest: Laurence Koo   authenticintimacy.com/reclaim2024   Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.

    #535 What Men Weren't Taught About Sex

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 23, 2024 45:03


    The vast majority of men didn't get a sufficient sex education. Besides a handful of condoms and advice to not get girls pregnant, wasn't there more they needed to know about women, sex, and romance? Sam Jolman, LPC, author of “The Sex Talk You Never Got”, joins Juli to talk about what men didn't learn about sex growing up.   Guest: Sam Jolman, LPC   Sam's Website: samjolman.com Sam's Instagram: @samjolman   Java with Juli: #275: Finding Freedom from Unwanted Desires Blog: Purity Culture Failed Men Too   Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.

    #534 Four Surprising Things Killing Your Wife's Sex Drive

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 16, 2024 43:18


    Female sexuality is complex, with numerous factors weighing into how a woman may feel about sex at any given time. Obstacles run the gamut, from parenting young kids, to demanding jobs, and sexual pain. What about the lesser-explored reasons why a woman might not feel excited about sexual intimacy with her husband? Dr. Jennifer Degler joins Juli to share her thoughts and observations.     Guest: Dr. Jennifer Degler     Jennifer's Website: jenniferdegler.com Jennifer on Instagram: @drjenniferdegler     Blog: Five Things You Need to Know About Women, Orgasm & Intimacy Donate to Authentic Intimacy!   Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.

    #533 Why It Feels Impossible To Beat Your Sin

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 9, 2024 41:27


    Are we supposed to battle our sin or surrender it to the one who has already defeated it? Juli and Hannah discuss the difference between struggle and surrender, the role of the Holy Spirit in our lives, and what happens when we resist God's leading in our lives instead of embracing it.     Co-host: Hannah Nitz     Hannah's Website: hannahnitz.com Hannah's Instagram: @hannahnitz   Book: Absolute Surrender by Andrew Murray   Find out more about Reclaim: Surrendered Sexuality Claim your free sex and culture resource!   Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.

    #532 How the Church Can Help Stop Domestic Abuse

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 2, 2024 52:07


    Studies have shown that churches are often among the first places people turn when they are experiencing domestic abuse, but unfortunately churches aren't always well-informed when it comes to how to help victims. Chris Moles and Stacey Womack, who work independently in organizations PeaceWorks and Abuse Recovery Ministry Services, join Juli to talk about what churches need to know when it comes to helping abuse victims.     Guests: Chris Moles and Stacey Womack     Chris's Website: chrismoles.org PeaceWorks Podcast Website:PeaceWorks Podcast PeaceWorks Live: Peaceworks Live 2024 Stacey's Website: Abuse Recovery and Ministry Services National Domestic Violence hotline Sign up for Second Cup! Learn more about Authentic Intimacy membership.   Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.

    #531 The Basics of Talking to Kids About Sex

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 26, 2024 52:11


    Discussing sexuality with children can be intimidating. As a Christian parent you long to give your kids a faith-based sex education and you want to do so without shame, but often the very first step towards this is the most challenging. Thankfully, there are more and more experts providing support and guidance in this area. Dr. Julia Sadusky, author of “Start Talking To Your Kids About Sex” and “Talking with Your Teen about Sex”, joins Juli to provide wisdom on age-appropriate sex education and give some practical parenting tips for Christian families seeking to engage in healthy conversations with their kids about sex. Guest: Dr. Julia Sadusky Julia's Website: juliasadusky.com Julia's Instagram: @drsadusky   Book: Start Talking To Your Kids About Sex by Julia Sadusky Book: Talking with Your Teen about Sex by Julia Sadusky   Get your free resource: 10 Answers to Questions Your Child May Ask You About Sexuality   Sign up for an Online Book Study!   Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.

    #530 Sexuality and Smartphones: How to Help Teens Thrive

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 19, 2024 44:11


    How do you help your kids develop a healthy relationship with social media, avoid the traps and pitfalls, and learn how to connect with peers safely and authentically? Pastor James Talbert from Citizens Church Akron joins Juli to share what he's learned through ministry about the good, the bad, and the ugly of social media.   Guest: James Talbert   Website: citizensakron.com Instagram: @citizensakron   Get your free resource on answers to questions your child may have about sexuality!   Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.

    #529 Modern Dating: How To Do It Well

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 12, 2024 56:32


    How do you set the pace for a dating relationship? What kind of expectations should you have? How do you break up with someone without disrespecting them? Kait and JJ Tomlin from Heart of Dating join Juli to help singles navigate the ups and downs of modern dating.   Guests: Kait and JJ Tomlin   Heart of Dating website: heartofdating.com Heart of Dating Instagram: @heartofdating @kaitness @jjtomlin Book: Thank You for Rejecting Me by Kait Warman Tomlin Podcast: @HeartofDating   Get the free Heart of Dating Boundaries in Dating Guide Sign up for the School of Dating first dibs list for first dibs at registration and the lowest price!   Sign up for Second Cup here! Learn more about becoming a member!   Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.

    #528 The 3 Superpowers Your Sex Life is Missing

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 5, 2024 42:43


    Wondering how to improve your sex life? Beyond the general relationship advice and intimacy tips you might have found online, there's an unpopular argument you might not have heard: that the key to improving your sexual connection lies with you. Christian Sex Therapist Dr. Michael Sytsma joins Juli to talk about three underrated ways couples can boost their sexual and emotional intimacy.   Guest: Dr. Michael Sytsma Michael's website: intimatemarriage.org   Java with Juli: #516 Don't Skip Foreplay! (and Other Advice from a Christian Sex Therapist) Explore more resources on Sex in Marriage   Find out more about Online Book Study groups here!   Ladies, check out our upcoming Online Coaching Intensives: Dr. Jennifer Degler: Sexuality for Wives Lyschel Burket: Hope and Healing for Wives for Sexual Intimacy After Betrayal Click here to learn more and sign up!   Register for Second Cup on August 20th!   Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.

    #228 (Bonus) Intimacy After Infidelity

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 29, 2024 37:05


    In this special re-release, Troy and Melissa Haas of HopeQuest join Juli to answer the question: Can a couple's sexual relationship survive and thrive after infidelity? While they were serving as missionaries, Troy's long-term addiction to pornography was revealed. As hard as this was on their marriage, Melissa soon realized she had her own issues around sexuality too. They join Juli to tell her what was wrong, and how God helped them heal and find restoration.   Guests: Troy and Melissa Haas   Instagram: @hopequestgroup Website: hopequestgroup.org   Sign up for Reclaim now and save $20! Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.

    #527 Why Friendship, not Romance, is the Greatest Love of All

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 22, 2024 49:32


    Have we lost our vision for loving relationships outside the context of marriage and the nuclear family? What was the greatest love Jesus described in the Bible? Was it romantic love, or a different type of sacrificial love? Rebecca McLaughlin joins Juli to explain how we've minimized friendship and overemphasized sexual relationships.   Guest: Rebecca McLaughlin   Rebecca's Website: rebeccamclaughlin.org Rebecca's Instagram: @rebecc_mclaugh   Book: “No Greater Love” by Rebecca McLaughlin   Register for Reclaim: Surrendered Sexuality FREE with code: JWJ24* *code only works for first four registrations   Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.

    #526 How God Heals Us From Past Abuse and Trauma

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 15, 2024 48:04


    Abuse and the trauma it creates run deep. How can survivors begin to move forward? In this episode we explore a deeply personal journey of recovery from decades of sexual, physical and emotional abuse, discussing how embracing the fatherhood of God can transform your life. Author Jennifer Michelle Greenberg shares how her heavenly father and a healthy marital relationship helped her heal from her  painful past.     Guests: Jennifer Michelle Greenberg and Jason Greenberg   Website: Jen's website Instagram: @jenmgreenberg Book: “Not Forsaken” by Jennifer Michelle Greenberg Book: “Defiant Joy” by Jennifer Michelle Greenberg   Java with Juli: #512 Friends Who Hurt Us: How To Recognize Unlikely Sources Of Abuse Java with Juli: #92: When the Woman You Love Was Abused Blog: I Was Sexually Abused. Now, God Is Restoring My Identity     Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.

    #525 Churches and Porn: What isn't Working and How to Change it

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 8, 2024 51:45


    Struggles with pornography are incredibly common within the Church, and the problem isn't going to go away on its own. What can churches do to be an environment where it is safe for congregants and leaders to admit struggles and get the support they need to overcome them? How can those going into ministry receive sufficient discipleship and care so they can heal from past traumas, win the battle, and walk closely and authentically with Jesus? Sam Black, Director of Life Change Education at Covenant Eyes, and author of “The Healing Church: What Churches Get Wrong about Pornography and How to Fix It”, joins Juli to discuss what the church at large can do to address the issue of pornography. Guest: Sam Black Website: thehealingchurch.com Website: covenanteyes.com App: The Victory App Instagram: @covenant.eyes Book: “The Healing Church: What Churches Get Wrong about Pornography and How to Fix It” by Sam Black Book: “Her Freedom Journey” by Dr. Joy Skarka and Dr. Juli Slattery Get your free 5-day guide to finding freedom from sexual sin! Check out Authentic Intimacy's partner ministry, Sexual Discipleship®!     Be Broken Ministries Pure Desire Samson Society SheRecovery   Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.

    #524 Her Freedom Journey: A Powerful New Book Helping Women Overcome Porn And Sexual Shame

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 1, 2024 40:23


    Introducing “Her Freedom Journey”, Juli and Joy's brand new book! In this very special podcast episode, Joy and Juli talk about the lack of discussion around female sexuality in the Church, and particularly around issues like pornography and masturbation. Joy shares some of her personal story, and together she and Juli talk about the heart behind the new book.     Guest: Dr. Joy Skarka     Website: joyskarka.com Instagram: @joyskarka   Listen to the episode where Joy tells her full story.   Get your free copy of “Her Freedom Journey! Email podcast@authenticintimacy.com with your name, address, and why you love listening to  Java with Juli. First 10 senders will get a free copy.*   Pre-order “Her Freedom Journey” here!   Be Broken Ministries SheRecovery   *Open to those in the US only.   Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.

    #523 How Past Family Patterns Impact the Way You Love Today

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 24, 2024 49:43


    The way we are brought up has a significant influence on the way we form attachments with others. There are few relationships in which this is as pronounced or as obvious as marriage. Kay and Milan Yerkovich, authors of the breakthrough book, “How We Love”, want to empower couples to become more aware of the ways in which their early years formed them, and to acquire the skills to develop secure attachments for healthy, long-lasting relationships.     Guests: Kay and Milan Yerkovich   Book: How We Love by Kay and Milan Yerkovich Website: howwelove.com Instagram: @howwelovebook   Get your free resource on marriage conflict resolution! Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.

    #522 The Paradox of Hope and Brokenness: Jesus, Depression and SSA

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 17, 2024 52:21


    In Jesus there is hope for healing and transformation, but that doesn't mean that in this life we won't experience hardship and brokenness. Brenna Blain, renowned speaker and new author, knows this better than most. Experiencing same-sex attraction and fighting her own mental health battle from around the age of 14, Brenna joins Juli to explain how coming to the very end of herself led her to a place desperate enough to long for God Himself, and not just His healing.   Guest: Brenna Blain   Brenna's Website: brenna-blain.vercel.app/ Brenna's Instagram: @bunonmyhead   Help is available. If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts, call or text 988, the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.   Explore more resources on healing. Learn more about the Authentic Intimacy member community and available resources. Partner with Authentic Intimacy.   Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.

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