Podcast appearances and mentions of michael sytsma

Special Patreon Re-Release: God, Sex, and Your Marriage: Interview with Dr. Juli Slattery    *DISCLAIMER* This interview includes some adult themes and is not intended for young ears.   **Transcription Below**   Matthew 9:37 (NIV) "Then he said to his disciples, “The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few."   Questions we discuss: For many couples, sex can be a difficult area of marriage and you encourage people that is normal, but you also warn us not to confuse normal with healthy. What is normal for married couples and what is healthy, as it relates to sexual intimacy in marriage? What is God's genius chemical cocktail that we experience during sex? Will you give a brief overview of your four pillars of intimacy?   Dr. Juli Slattery is a clinical psychologist, author, speaker and broadcast media professional with over twenty-five years of experience counseling, and teaching women. She's the president and co-founder of Authentic Intimacy, a unique ministry devoted to teaching God's design for intimacy and sexuality. In 2020, Juli launched SexualDiscipleship.com, a platform designed to help Christian leaders navigate sexual issues and questions with gospel-centered truth. She hosts a weekly podcast, Java with Juli, where she answers tough questions about relationships, marriage, and spiritual, emotional and sexual intimacy.  www.authenticintimacy.com    Other Episodes with Dr. Juli Slattery on The Savvy Sauce:   Passion Pursuit with Dr. Juli Slattery   Patreon 26 Holy Sex with Dr. Juli Slattery   Life-Giving Marriage with Dr. Juli Slattery   Thank You to Our Sponsors: Chick-fil-A East Peoria and The Savvy Sauce Charities (and donate online here)   Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook or Instagram or Our Website   Please help us out by sharing this episode with a friend, leaving a 5-star rating and review, and subscribing to this podcast!   Gospel Scripture: (all NIV)   Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”   Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”   Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”    Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”    Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”    Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”    John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”   Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”    Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”   Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”   Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession- to the praise of his glory.”   Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”   Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“   Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“   Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”   **Transcription**   [00:00:00]   Laura Dugger: Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, where we have practical chats for intentional living. I'm your host Laura Dugger, and I'm so glad you're here.    [00:00:18]   Laura Dugger: Today's message is not intended for little ears. We'll be discussing some adult themes, and I want you to be aware before you listen to this message.   I'm grateful for today's sponsor, Chick-fil-A East Peoria. Check them out online to place your order for dining or catering, or to fill out an application to join their friendly team. Visit cfaeastpeoria.com.   Hey friends, I wanted to share some exciting news with you. Savvy Sauce Charities has officially received our confirmation from the IRS that all donations are tax deductible. I know that we have super generous listeners, so we wanted to let you know you can now mail your check to Savvy Sauce Charities, P.O. Box 101, Roanoke, Illinois, 61561. Thanks in advance for supporting Savvy Sauce Charities. [00:01:24]    And now I'm pleased to share this episode with you that used to only be available to paying patrons. Dr. Juli Slattery is my returning guest today. She has written another fantastic book entitled God, Sex, and Your Marriage. And now she's going to give us a healthy vision for sexual intimacy in marriage and share actionable ways that we can grow in maturity and delight and health in our relationship with our spouse.    Here's our chat.   Welcome back to The Savvy Sauce, Dr. Juli.   Dr Juli Slattery: Oh, thanks so much for having me.   Laura Dugger: Well, even from the get-go on the dedication page of your book, you dedicate it to your brothers and sisters in Christ, some who have labored before you, and some who now work alongside you in reclaiming God's design for sex. You quote the last part of Matthew 9:37, when you say, "The field is ripe for the harvest, but the laborers are few." [00:02:28] Will you elaborate on what you mean by this?   Dr. Juli Slattery: Yeah. I think within the field of Christian sexuality, there are things that we can disagree on. Some of those conversations can be characterized by looking back at what people have written before and being critical of that or looking at the ways that we disagree today on different topics and how we apply the scriptures.    So as I was wrapping up this book, I just have such a heart for unity in the body of Christ and recognize that there are so few people that really want to see God reclaim biblical sexuality, that I just want us to link arms and to work together, to learn from each other, to give honor to each other, and just to be in the trenches, like encouraging one another, instead of focusing on maybe where we differ. [00:03:25]    So that's kind of the heart of it, as well as just a gratitude for the people that have gone before us, the people that were speaking and writing on this topic over the last few decades. Again, I think we're looking back and saying purity culture was horrible and, you know, like just be with more of a critical eye, which we need to learn from the past. But I think, you know, I just really want to have a spirit of graciousness and unity as we say, Hey, we're kind of working off of the shoulders of the people who have been really pioneers in this field.   Laura Dugger: I think that goal of unity is such a worthy one. For so many couples, sex can be a difficult area of marriage. And you write that this is very normal, but you also warn us not to confuse normal with healthy. You go on to write, and I'll just quote it here, "Just consider that the normal American is overweight, overstimulated, exhausted, and lonely." [00:04:29] So, Juli, from your perspective, what is normal for married couples and what is healthy as it relates to sexual intimacy in marriage?   Dr. Juli Slattery: I would say normal is a lot of conflict around sex, frustration, unfulfilled desires, lack of communication. They don't know how to talk about sex or navigate conflict around just differences. I think it's normal for there to be some level of pornography in a marriage. One or both of the individuals bringing in a history of pornography and a struggle with pornography. I think it's normal to have a lot of confusion and shame just around being a sexual person.    So those are all sort of the normal barometer of what I see as I talk to married Christian couples. Again, I think there's peace in knowing, okay, we have good company around us. We're not the only couple struggling with these things, but I also don't want that to be a message that things should just stay the way they are. [00:05:35]    Laura Dugger: I love that. Can you elaborate then on what is healthy?   Dr. Juli Slattery: Yeah. So healthy is sort of the opposite of what I've mentioned. Healthy is that there's healthy, regular communication around sex. So a couple can talk about not just how often they want to have sex, but the deeper issues of what does sex represent for me as an individual? What does it represent for us as a couple? Being able to talk through things from the past, past wounds and shame, and being able to seek the Lord together. It's healthy to honor each other in their sexual relationship, honor the differences that they might be bringing of sexual desire and what they're hoping for in their sexual relationship, navigating together the challenges that they face, but navigating as a team.   So the challenges of we have no energy because we're exhausted with little kids or the challenges of one of us might be working through some trauma from the past, the challenges of how do we address the pornography in our marriage and how do we learn to enjoy each other within our own covenant? [00:06:46]    So those are kind of the markers of a healthy sex life. I don't think there are many couples who would just say automatically, we were there when we first got married. But unfortunately, I think there are also not a lot of couples who would say we're actually working towards those goals. Instead, we have a tendency to just kind of stay stuck where we are.   Laura Dugger: I think an obvious answer would be that communication is going to help us move in that direction of health. But if this healthy vision sounds wonderful, how do people actually engage in this? What are a few of the first steps they can take?   Dr. Juli Slattery: I think one of the first steps is just really broadening your horizon of what God created sex to be. And really, it's taking a step back and asking yourself the question, what do you think a good sex life is actually supposed to look like from a Christian standpoint? [00:07:45]    I think it's fascinating for couples to have that conversation and, first of all, to see where they differ in their understanding of what a good sex life is meant to be, but also where they struggle to flesh it out because there just hasn't been a lot of great teaching on, how do we as a couple even have the same goals related to our sex life.   That was the main reason why I wrote God, Sex, and Your Marriage was to give Christian married couples a vision for what God created sex to be and to have them together agree on, here's what our mature sex life is meant to look like and we want to start working toward that. But if you don't know what you're working toward, then you're just going to stay stuck.   Laura Dugger: I appreciate resources like this. If anybody's listened to any of our other topics on sexual intimacy on The Savvy Sauce, you know that we recommend reading a book, ideally with each other. But even if it's just you reading it yourself, there's so much to glean. [00:08:49] And like you said, Juli, you're casting this vision.   But then even as you read this aloud to one another or you each read a chapter and then come together and discuss, it gets you comfortable talking about this language and it brings up even more questions like you just mentioned that can be natural conversation starters.   Dr. Juli Slattery: Yeah, that's a great suggestion for every married couple, including myself and my husband. I guess something that we've tried to do throughout our marriage is to be reading a book on sex together, preferably, as you mentioned, out loud, because it really does get you comfortable in terms of just what language to use and what it's like to have a conversation around sex.   Laura Dugger: Absolutely. So just really, I've thought this so many times, but thank you for the labor and the work you put into putting this resource together so that we have an option that we can trust.    Dr. Juli Slattery: Yeah, well, I think we tend to write the books that we would want to read. So, yeah, a lot of it has just come out of our own journey. [00:09:49]    Laura Dugger: Well, and I agree with another point that you make in the book when you talk about sex being so important to God and so we can expect it to constantly be under spiritual attack. So will you just tell us more about that idea?   Dr. Juli Slattery: Yeah. I think the average Christian, as you look at the cultural landscape, there's no question that sex is under attack and that we see it distorted and we see it being such a confusing topic for our kids, for just our culture. We can recognize that and we can look at different ways that sex is being used against us in our world today, but we're less likely to see how that's happening within our own marriages.   But I think just being aware of the fact that Satan hates everything God made as beautiful, and sex is such a powerful picture of God's covenant love, of the fact that he created us for intimate unity. That Satan really wants to twist that. And he'll do it any way he can. [00:10:56] He'll do it through shame. He'll do it through us even having a very limited perspective of what sex should be. He'll do it through dividing you and having sex be the main source of conflict in your marriage. He'll do it through pornography and marital affairs and betrayal.    I think we have to be on the lookout and say, hey, this really is a spiritual terrain, not just in the world at large, but it's a spiritual terrain within my own heart and within our marriage.   Laura Dugger: But then you don't leave us there with that message of attack because in that same chapter you conclude with this quote: "God's power to redeem is greater than Satan's power to destroy." So, Juli, how have you seen that practically played out in couples' lives?   Dr. Juli Slattery: Boy, I've just been so blessed to see that played out over and over again. In the ministry that I run, Authentic Intimacy, we've been doing this for a decade now. [00:11:56] I can't explain it, but all I can tell you is that when an individual or a couple begins to really get God's perspective of sexuality, when they alone or together begin to surrender this area of their life to God, you just see change, you see healing, you see redemption, you see freedom where there once was shame and lies.   It's commonplace in our ministry to see that, which is amazing because every life that's redeemed really is a work of God. But the scripture says that His word doesn't return void, but it accomplishes what it's sent out to do. And I get to see that. I get to see that as couples are healing and recovering from betrayal, as people are looking to get set free from pornography, as people are trying to navigate the impact of past trauma and what that's done to their sex life, as couples are confronting some of the anger or bitterness or selfishness that have developed over the years because of their differences and sexual desire. [00:13:03] I've just gotten to see all those sort of things redeemed by God's power, and sex starts to become something that really does unify a husband and wife together.   Laura Dugger: Well, that makes so much sense because I've been convicted so many times and had to be reminded when God will gently call me back to Himself where I've shared a struggle with my husband, or if I'm questioning something in parenting and I'm just thinking on it and ruminating on it, God will gently remind me, come to Me with this, share with Me. And in the same way, with the topic of sex, you're encouraging us in this book to invite God to fight for us, and it's really His strength and power that can heal us in this sacred space.   Dr. Juli Slattery: Yeah. It makes so much sense, Laura. But in reality, I think most of us kind of bar God from our sex lives. We don't realize we do it, but we never praise a married couple about our sex lives.[00:14:07] We never invite God into our shame. We never even think or want to think about the fact that He's present with us in the bedroom because that sort of creeps us out.    But if you're trying to fight a spiritual battle with your own strength and you're barring God's presence from that place, then you're not going to win it. I had to confront this in my own life in marriage many years ago. I didn't realize how much I was doing that, but I think because the church has been so silent on sex over the years, we just naturally have this sort of separate category of sexuality where God doesn't enter. So, boy, what a powerful thing to begin surrendering this to the Lord and asking for His wisdom and His help.   Laura Dugger: Powerful indeed. I remember one wife shared with me they don't pray together about sex out loud, but she has prayed before, even when they're in the act, and just shared real-time, Okay, Lord, I'm having a really hard time experiencing orgasm, and I would love to experience that today, so can you help me get there?" [00:15:16] And she said the results have been incredible. And I just think He cares so much about every detail of our lives that I love that story and what she shared because I think it shows His heart that He wants to share delight with us, and He's created this.   Dr. Juli Slattery: Yeah, it brings God honor and pleasure when a married couple enjoys sex to the fullest because that's what He created it for. I think somehow we've bought this lie that God's embarrassed of our sexuality or it's a necessary evil, instead of it being something that we clearly see in the Song of Solomon and Proverbs chapter 5 and other places in Scripture that God delights in this. He created sex for this purpose.   And part of fighting the spiritual battle that we face in our world is reclaiming the ground of what sex looks like in our marriage. And so there are a lot of people who are frustrated at what's happening to their kids or what's happening to our culture, but at the same time they don't fight for godly sexuality within the space of their own bedroom. [00:16:22] And that really is where the battle begins, is in our own hearts and our own lives.   Laura Dugger: Well, let's now discuss the four pillars of intimacy, and hopefully you can just give a brief overview of each. Beginning with faithfulness and specifically, why do you write that holy jealousy is good?   Dr. Juli Slattery: Yeah. If I can back up just for a minute, the whole premise of this book is that God created sex within marriage to be a form of revelation. Like through marriage and sexuality, the Scripture says God is revealing to us what his covenant love is like. And we see that in the Old Testament in God's covenant relationship with Israel and how often He used language of marriage and sexuality as a metaphor to explain His love for Israel.    Then in the New Testament we see the same thing happen with Jesus' relationship with the church. We see all this bridal language, intimacy language, sexual language to express what covenant looks like between Christ and His bride. [00:17:35] And I know for a lot of people that's sort of a mind shift, but if you can think about it this way, God creates the physical world in order to reveal Himself to us. So God has created marriage and sexuality as a form of revelation to reveal for us this special relationship of covenant.   So what I did with these four pillars of covenant love is say, OK, if God's love, if His covenant love is like this, then this is what defines a healthy sex life. So I broke down these four aspects of God's love for His covenant people and then applied it to sexuality.    So the first pillar that I talk about there is faithfulness. That faithfulness is the very foundation of any covenant. That a covenant isn't a relationship that's based on what feels good or what I feel like doing in the moment. It's a relationship based on your character, on your promise.    Part of that is that within covenant you have a sacred sense of belonging to each other. And so there is a holy jealousy within covenant. [00:18:43] And we see this in God's relationship with Israel where God actually says, My name is jealous. I am jealous for you. I'm a jealous God. And when you worship other gods, I'm angry.    That seems to be true within the covenant of marriage, that sexually we belong to each other exclusively, and there should be a healthy anger, protectiveness, and even jealousy if that exclusivity isn't honored. So, Laura, for example, I was talking to a woman who her marriage was in bad shape. There had been conflict over many years, there had been pornography addiction, and her husband cheated on her. And she said, "I was so dead that I wasn't even angry. My love for him was so dead that I didn't even get mad." [00:19:43] You'd be like, "Why would she not get mad? Is that a sign of health to not get mad when your husband cheats?" No. That's a sign of a very dysfunctional relationship, of a covenant that's dead.    So a healthy marriage means that we fight for each other and we protect our sexual relationship and that if there is a violation, then there is reason to be upset,there is reason to be angry. I think this is so key that we talk about you really can't build anything else in your sex life if you don't have faithfulness. That's the bare minimum foundation.   Laura Dugger: And now a brief message from our sponsors.    [00:20:25]   Sponsor: I want to say thank you to our longtime sponsor, Chick-fil-A East Peoria. I hope that you've already downloaded the Chick-fil-A app. Because did you know that with the app you can skip the line and have food ready for you when you arrive? This is one of my favorite options when I'm taking my four daughters to Chick-fil-A East Peoria. Download the Chick-fil-A app today and start earning points toward free rewards that are fully customized to your preferences and tastes.   Chick-fil-A was named as one of Glassdoor's best places to work in the nation. That's a huge honor. And one team member even wrote, "No comparison. This is a great job for a first job, extra money, or for career advancement. Such a loving environment, great management, and fair pay." Chick-fil-A believes that the local and involved ownership ensures fostering an environment where you are known, challenged, and cared for.   So if you're looking for a wonderful place to work, visit Chick-fil-A East Peoria or fill out an application online today at cfaeastpeoria.com.    [00:21:31]   Laura Dugger: We are so excited to celebrate with you that The Savvy Sauce Charities received our IRS confirmation that all donations are officially tax deductible. We hope that you're going to take action to partner with us.   There are details laid out on our website, which is thesavvysauce.com, and they're going to walk you through the process to donate, and it's also going to share our tax ID number. The donation process is as easy as just filling out a check for Savvy Sauce Charities and mailing it to P.O. Box 101, Roanoke, Illinois, 61561.    If we've contributed to your life in any way by resourcing you to grow closer in intimacy with God and others, would you now contribute to us financially? In this way, we are so excited to partner together and hopefully meet each other's needs. Our team wants to continue producing these podcasts, and we're expectant that if you're listening right now, you value The Savvy Sauce Charities enough to make a donation.    We view this work as ministry, so we happily spend thousands of dollars each year to record and produce these episodes. And our ultimate prayer is that your experience with Savvy Sauce Charities will make an impact for eternity. So if that is true for you, if you've ever received a blessing in any way from this nonprofit, would you prayerfully consider donating to Savvy Sauce Charities? Any amount is greatly appreciated.   And in fact, you've heard me say before, if every listener gave only $1 per month, it would completely offset all our costs. Again, we have all the details listed on our website, thesavvysauce.com, if you are interested in making a donation. We look forward to partnering with you.   [00:23:32]   Laura Dugger: Can you elaborate about the chemical cocktail and why God is so genius in this creation?   Dr. Juli Slattery: Yeah, sure. You know, I think one of the reasons that we really struggle with faithfulness is because we believe at a heart level that marriage is more about attractiveness and getting our sexual needs met than believing that marriage is about covenant. And one of the ways that I explain that is just to show, you know, God has designed new sex and a new relationship to elicit different kinds of chemicals in our brain than a long-term relationship and long-term sexual interaction.   So the new relationship is going to have adrenaline and a neurotransmitter called PEA. And together, adrenaline and PEA make you feel like there's this huge output of dopamine, which is the pleasure hormone of the brain. [00:24:34] And so it makes you feel intoxicated. It makes you feel like you're on a drug.    This is why pornography is so addictive. But God has given that cocktail in the beginning of a relationship, in the beginning of seeing each other naked for the first time, so that it would be a cementing kind of experience for a husband and wife. Unfortunately, our world has really hijacked that with pornography and other sexual offerings. But God's design is that you shouldn't be able to forget your honeymoon. Like it should be like a cementing experience for you.   But then as you're married for a while and you have sex regularly, you don't get that same adrenaline and PEA unless you're doing something kind of fun or new or exciting. But in general, you'll get just kind of output of oxytocin, which is a bonding hormone. It connects you to your spouse. And you also get endorphins, which is sort of a feel-good, all-is-well-with-the-world kind of neurotransmitter. [00:25:39]    And so God has designed a married sex life to have elements of both of these, of new and exciting things, say, for example, on your anniversary or you go away for a vacation and you're really focusing on your sex life, but also to have these bonding and feel-good chemicals to take place just in the normal course of life.    But, Laura, what happens is we get addicted to that new and exciting, and so we kind of begin to neglect the sexual relationship and instead are tempted by what's going to make us immediately feel good in the moment. So that's kind of just understanding how God wired our sexuality and, again, why He's a genius, but also understanding how, if we're not wise, that wiring can be worked against us.   Laura Dugger: That's so helpful to be wise in all of that. Just the incredible amounts that He gives us. You had cited another source that says men can have their oxytocin levels raised more than 500% after orgasm. [00:26:49] That may be why they're able to open up more emotionally after they've connected sexually. You also talk about the bonding agent of vasopressin. Would you like to share anything about that?   Dr. Juli Slattery: Yeah. So the two hormones, oxytocin and vasopressin, kind of go together. Vasopressin is kind of more, from what I understand, like the male form of oxytocin. But these hormones have been shown, as you mentioned, to bond people together, to make a man feel more connected and more likely to be vulnerable.    And interestingly, there's even some studies that show that a man whose body is rich with this oxytocin and vasopressin is less likely to be attracted to another woman. So some people will call it the fidelity hormone.   But when you begin to understand this as a wife, that regular sex with my husband is helping him feel emotionally closer to me, is fostering vulnerability and connection, is helping him to focus on me and me to focus on him, it helps with temptation that comes from the outside. [00:28:02]    And that's not at all to put pressure on a wife to say it's your job to keep your husband faithful. But it is to recognize that God has created sex to be a very powerful experience that is meant to bond you together. And you want to use that for the advantage of your marriage instead of allowing the enemy to use it as something that could tear you apart.   Laura Dugger: That's so good. There's so much there in that first pillar of faithfulness. But for the second pillar of intimate knowing, what separates that intimate knowing from what you call a sanctified hookup?   Dr. Juli Slattery: I think, again, we have to go back to God's covenant love to understand what we're working towards. And if you have been in a covenant relationship with God through Jesus Christ for any amount of time, hopefully you've learned that one of the goals of your relationship with God is to know Him more intimately, to say, Hey, I know God and Jesus more intimately today than I did five years ago. [00:29:07] And through the struggles of life, through the highs and the lows, I've developed intimacy with the Lord.   Jesus talks about this when he talks about, you know, being so intimately connected to Him, it's like a vine in a branch. Like we're in communion all the time. So when we apply that to our sexual relationship, the goal of sex is not just to have our bodies exchange fluids, but it's to be on a journey together of deep knowing of sharing with each other.   Just like in our relationship with God, the valleys, the difficulties, actually are when intimacy can be forged even greater than when things are going well. And I think this is really important because for most married couples, they're going to experience some real challenges in their sex life.   Dr. Juli Slattery: challenges in their sex life and instead of just saying, well, we can't enjoy each other or we have different desires, looking at that as an opportunity of, how do I know my spouse more intimately because of the challenge that we're experiencing? [00:30:12]    When I work with couples who are going through difficulties like infertility or somebody's struggle with pornography or somebody's struggle with healing, what those couples will say is now we're beginning to talk at a deeper level than do you want to have sex or not. Now, we're talking about my shame underneath my sexuality or my frustration that I walked into marriage with these expectations and now I feel like they're not being met. So you're beginning to communicate about your heart, you're beginning to share the sexual journey.   Unfortunately I think there are a lot of married couples who don't see this. All they think of is sex. It's just what our bodies are doing instead of really looking at it as an opportunity to forge intimacy at a much deeper level.   Laura Dugger: The third pillar is sacrificial giving. I'd love for you to share your personal story about God calling you to sacrificial giving. [00:31:15]    Dr. Juli Slattery: Yeah. One of the things that I've shared in my own life is that I'd say for the first 10 or 15 years of marriage, sex was one of those things that I wasn't very interested in, my husband was more interested in and particularly when we had three little boys running around the house, you know, I really avoided sex. I really didn't want to engage with it. I would always look for sort of the opportunity in the evening to say, “Hey, I need to do my devotions. This is my time.”    I remember going through that period of marriage where I would spend time with God usually in the evening and there would be times where it was like the Lord was really asking me, like if you really want to love Me and serve Me, why haven't you surrendered this area of your life to me?   And He began to just really prompt me to look at what it is to say, how do I love my husband sexually? How do I look at the conflict that I have within my own heart around sexuality and really begin to ask the Lord to heal that and to help me to enjoy what He has given me in marriage? [00:32:27] But during that season it was a lot of, how do I lay aside my own agenda and really understand my husband's sexual drive? How do I understand what would please him?    And Laura I just think a lot of us go into marriage and we think the sexual aspect of marriage will be something that won't require anything from us, that we just get to get, we get to receive. And for sure God has designed us to receive sexually, but He's also designed us so that we have to give sexually.   Why would he do that? Like people are like, why is God so cruel to make sex so difficult to navigate? But what God began to show me is He wants me to learn to love as Christ loves. Christ's love for us has always been sacrificial. And our love for Him in covenant is called to be sacrificial. We're called to lay down our own lives and take up the cross and follow Him. [00:33:30]    So I think there's something beautiful when we begin to understand that part of a healthy sex life is both the husband and wife approaching this with the attitude of, how do I serve you? How do I love you well? And when a husband and wife both have that attitude, the level of intimacy and even the level of pleasure has such a greater capacity than when we approach sexuality with just the mindset of what can I get from it.   Laura Dugger: Will you go even a little bit more specific with one of those quiet times with the Lord? What were you praying about? And what did he lead you to do?   Dr. Juli Slattery: So I was praying, you know, Lord, I just really want to know how to love You more and serve You. Like it was a time in my life where the Lord really was calling me deeper. What I just felt the Lord prompting me to do is to initiate sex with my husband.    I remember just kind of arguing with God in that moment, like, this is my time with You. You know, I think sometimes when we spend time with the Lord and we're studying the scripture, He wants us to actually put the Bible down and walk out what He's called us to do in his scripture. [00:34:45] And it was during that season of life again where God was just prompting me.   That night, that evening was the first time just prompting me like, hey, if you want to love Me more, if you want to know what My love is like, then go up and engage with your husband, because he's the one I've given you to love and he's the one I've given to love you. That really started us on a journey that didn't happen immediately, but over years of really surrendering this to God, we've learned what it is to serve each other and love each other well sexually.   Laura Dugger: And I'll just paraphrase from page 108 when that evening you sheepishly shared with your husband, when you came up and kind of surprised him and just said, "I was praying and it was like, God told me to come up here and initiate sex with you." And I love his response. He said, "No way! I was praying, asking God to tell you to do that." [00:35:44]    Dr. Juli Slattery: Yeah, that's a true story. That really happened. So yeah, it's amazing how God works.   Laura Dugger: I love that so much. I want to make sure that you're up to date with our latest news. We have a new website. You can visit TheSavvySauce.com and see all of the latest updates. You may remember Francie Hinrichsen from Episode 132, where we talked about pursuing our God-given dreams. She is the amazing businesswoman who has carefully designed a brand new website for SavvySauce Charities, and we are thrilled with the final product.So I hope you check it out.    There you're going to find all of our podcasts, now with show notes and transcriptions listed, a scrapbook of various previous guests, and an easy place to join our email list to receive monthly encouragement and questions to ask your loved ones, so that you can have your own practical chats for intentional living. [00:36:45]    You will also be able to access our donation button or our mailing address for sending checks that are tax deductible, so that you can support the work of SavvySauce Charities and help us continue to reach the nations with the good news of Jesus Christ. So make sure you visit TheSavvySauce.com.    I just appreciate those personal stories, even how when you were meeting with the Lord, having your quiet time, how He called you to go and seek your husband. There's a part of Matthew 5:23-24, that illustrates this as well. It just says, "Therefore, if you're offering your gift at the altar, and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them. Then come and offer your gift."   I just appreciate how the Lord even values that horizontal relationship first and the restoration there, and then you come back and reconnect vertically as well. [00:37:49]    Dr. Juli Slattery: Boy, it's true. Like that's the living out of our love for a God, for sure. There's also scripture that talks about like, if you say that you love Me, but you're not loving your brother, then your love for me isn't genuine. So I'm paraphrasing there. But you know, the scripture that I think has really gotten me over the years that I don't think many people apply to sexuality, is when Jesus is teaching at the Sermon on the Mount, and He says, even pagans know how to be kind to those who are kind to them. Like even pagans know how to greet those who greet them. But I say to you, love your enemies and do good to those who persecute you.    Not that my husband is my enemy, or was persecuting me, but the attitude of even a pagan wife knows how to love her husband well, when he's doing everything she wants, when he's attractive to her, when he's bringing her flowers, when he's attentive. But it requires the supernatural love of God for us to reach inside of ourselves and love in a way that is sacrificial. [00:39:01]    God wants us to become great lovers. He wants us to learn to love like He loves. And that's not a natural love that the average husband or wife can accomplish on their own strength. It's something that comes through intimacy with God and through saying, Lord, I want to become more like you in every area of my life. And again, our sexual relationship is not excluded from that. It perhaps can be the most challenging and vulnerable aspect of showing us how to love like God loves us.   Laura Dugger: Just one more thing to draw out of your chapter. I appreciated your balance between encouraging us to ask ourselves, are we being a cheerful giver? Then you also quote our mutual friend, Michael Sytsma, who is a pastor and also a certified sex therapist and author and speaker, that he says, the Bible does talk about fasting, but speaks far more about the feasting. [00:40:06]    Dr. Juli Slattery: Dr. Sytsma is just a wealth of wisdom on this topic. I've learned a lot from him. And that really sort of ushers in that fourth pillar of covenant love. So we've covered faithfulness, intimate knowing, sacrificial giving, but the fourth pillar is passionate celebration.    God has designed sex to be a passionate celebration of our covenant with each other. It is the way in our bodies that we remember, and we rejoice together that we've covenanted our lives to one another. God created sex to be pleasurable. He created the climax, He created the dopamine centers in our brain that go off with great delight when we experience sex with each other.    This is an important pillar. If you're looking at your sex life, and you say, okay, we're faithful to each other, and we're building intimate knowing, and I have a servant attitude, but I experienced no pleasure, then something's wrong with your sex life. [00:41:10] That's something that you need to work toward as an individual and as a married couple. There are a lot of Christian women who would identify with that, who would say, yeah, I do this primarily for my husband. I don't really love it. I don't really know how to enjoy it.    I would say to that woman that that's not the fullness of what God has designed for your sex life to look like in a marriage. He may be challenging you as he's challenged me over the years to really work on what does it look like for me to enjoy this gift, not just to be a giver of it, but also to be a receiver of it.   Laura Dugger: If anybody has their book, I'm thinking specifically, there is this part on page 133, where you draw out some fascinating discoveries about passionate celebration even in our relationship with the Lord, what that looks like, but how that transfers to the marriage as well. [00:42:10] Just things that we wouldn't think of: prayer and singing releasing certain bonding hormones.   Dr. Juli Slattery: Yeah. Yeah. So when you think about like our gatherings as a church body on Sundays or whenever you gather, what you're doing is you're gathering as part of the Bride of Christ. Usually we think of our Sunday services about the message. Yeah, the message is an important part, but it's not the most important part of our gathering. Our gathering is to express our love to our Savior and to our husband, to our heavenly Father, to all of it. We're rejoicing in Him. We're worshiping him as a collective group.    And what the research has shown is that when people gather together and they sing together out loud and when they dance, the same kind of chemicals are released in their brain as are released during sex. So they're getting the dopamine, they're getting the endorphins, they're getting the oxytocin. [00:43:15]    So when God's people get together and sing together and worship the Lord together, they're actually getting that same bonding hormone that unites you as the family of God, as a husband and wife would get together as they celebrate their covenant. So it's been really cool for me to study and to see these parallels of what God designed His relationship with us to be like, and then also what He designed marriage to be like. And to see that in many ways, even our bodily and neurological response will mirror each other.   Laura Dugger: It's just incredible to learn more about those relationships. Juli, as we seek to apply this conversation now to our own lives, what's an example of a possible next step forward?   Dr. Juli Slattery: Yeah, I think, Laura, a lot of us as married Christians, we think about biblical sexuality in terms of morality. In other words, let's keep the rules, let's obey God. And as we talked about in the faithfulness pillar, that certainly is a very critical part of how we honor God and each other within our sexual relationship. [00:44:30]    But the other pillars are all about maturity. I think you can be married for 10 years, 15 years, 20 years, 30 years or more as a married couple and never considered, what does it look like for us to mature in our sexual love? How can we say five years from now that we love each other more deeply sexually than we than we do right now? What do we need to work on? Which of these four pillars requires our immediate attention?    The book God, Sex, and Your Marriage can be helpful. We also are releasing a video curriculum and workbook for couples to go through this material that can be really helpful that you could do as couples or do in a small group. But things don't change unless we become intentional about changing them.    And so, you know, I think for all of us, we need that challenge to not just settle for the way things are, but to really ask the Lord to begin redeeming sex within our marriage, again, as part of that larger spiritual battle of reclaiming God's design for sex within our world. [00:45:42]    Laura Dugger: If part of this plan of ours for intentionality includes learning more from you, where can we go to do that?   Dr. Juli Slattery: You can find everything that we do at AuthenticIntimacy.com. So there's a podcast, blog, this book and other books and workbooks and small group opportunities. So you can find all of that at our website, Authentic Intimacy dot com.   Laura Dugger: Wonderful. We will link to that, as always, in the show notes for today's episode. Juli, you have been on multiple times, so you know we are called The Savvy Sauce because "savvy" is synonymous with practical knowledge. And so is my final question for you today. What is your savvy sauce? [00:46:26]    Dr. Juli Slattery: Well, I would have to go back and listen to the episodes I've been on before to see if I say the same one all the time. But my savvy sauce is just really spending time with the Lord and really trying to make sure I reserve that first hour of the day for connection with Him, for surrendering to Him, learning from Him, just wanting to do what he calls me to do. So that's my savvy sauce right there.   Laura Dugger: Well, you are always a calm and steady and helpful guest. As we opened this discussion, we talked about that passage from Matthew 9:37, where Jesus is saying the field is ripe for the harvest, but the laborers are few. So I just want to say thank you for being a willing and skilled helper. I'm so grateful to get to have you as my returning guest.   Dr. Juli Slattery: Oh, Laura, thank you. Thanks for giving me a chance to share. It's always a joy to talk to you. [00:47:31]    Laura Dugger: Likewise.    One more thing before you go. Have you heard the term "gospel" before? It simply means good news. And I want to share the best news with you. But it starts with the bad news. Every single one of us were born sinners, but Christ desires to rescue us from our sin, which is something we cannot do for ourselves.   This means there is absolutely no chance we can make it to heaven on our own. So, for you and for me, it means we deserve death and we can never pay back the sacrifice we owe to be saved. We need a Savior.   But God loved us so much, He made a way for His only Son to willingly die in our place as the perfect substitute. This gives us hope of life forever in right relationship with Him. That is good news.   Jesus lived the perfect life we could never live and died in our place for our sin. [00:48:31] This was God's plan to make a way to reconcile with us so that God can look at us and see Jesus. We can be covered and justified through the work Jesus finished if we choose to receive what He has done for us.   Romans 10:9 says that if you confess with your mouth Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.    So would you pray with me now? Heavenly Father, thank You for sending Jesus to take our place. I pray someone today right now is touched and chooses to turn their life over to You. Will You clearly guide them and help them take their next step in faith to declare You as Lord of their life? We trust You to work and change lives now for eternity. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen.    If you prayed that prayer, you are declaring Him for me, so me for Him. You get the opportunity to live your life for Him. [00:49:31] And at this podcast, we're called The Savvy Sauce for a reason. We want to give you practical tools to implement the knowledge you have learned. So you ready to get started?    First, tell someone. Say it out loud. Get a Bible. The first day I made this decision, my parents took me to Barnes & Noble and let me choose my own Bible. I selected the Quest NIV Bible, and I love it. You can start by reading the Book of John.    Also, get connected locally, which just means tell someone who's a part of a church in your community that you made a decision to follow Christ. I'm assuming they will be thrilled to talk with you about further steps, such as going to church and getting connected to other believers to encourage you.    We want to celebrate with you too, so feel free to leave a comment for us here if you did make a decision to follow Christ. We also have show notes included where you can read Scripture that describes this process.    Finally, be encouraged. Luke 15:10 says, "In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents." [00:50:36] The heavens are praising with you for your decision today.    If you've already received this good news, I pray that you have someone else to share it with today. You are loved and I look forward to meeting you here next time.

Send us a textIn this mid-month deep dive, our guest hosts revisit a popular interview with Michael Sytsma, President of Key Bank in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Michael shares his unconventional journey to leadership and his dedication to serving his community. The episode highlights his inspiring story about helping create a sustainable orphanage in the Democratic Republic of Congo with his friend Christophe and delves into his philosophy of servant leadership. Michael emphasizes the importance of creating a positive work environment, lifelong learning, and the powerful role of faith in his leadership style. Listeners are encouraged to reflect on their own leadership journey, the legacy they want to leave, and how they can make a positive impact in their daily lives.Support the showBe sure to rate and follow our podcast!

In this mini episode of More Than Roommates (our last “Quickie”), Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss what's next—what do you do with all that's been shared in these 12 days of Quickie episodes. We also share some recommended resources to help you take the next step in your marriage and sexual intimacy. Questions to Discuss:Which episode of the 12 days of Quickies was most helpful to you?What's something you learned in this series that you want to apply in your marriage?Are there some concepts discussed in these episodes that would be good to discuss with community to help encourage and challenge each other? Resources:Book – Married Sex: A Christian Couple's Guide to Reimagining Your Love Life, by Gary Thomas and Debra FiletaWebsite – Authentic IntimacyPodcast – Christian Sexuality – Java with JuliPodcasts – The Naked Marriage Podcast with Dave & Ashley Willis and Marriage on the Line with Dave & AshleyBook – A Celebration of Sex for Newlyweds, by Douglas RosenauBook - Secrets of Sex and Marriage: 8 Surprises That Make All the Difference, by Shaunti Feldhahn and Michael Sytsma

In this mini episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss some common myths and stereotypes about sex drive, desire, and frequency and some potential differences between men and women.  Questions to Discuss:What's the biggest challenge you face in your marriage related to sex drive, desire, and frequency?Have a conversation with your spouse about the topics raised in this episode. Make sure you listen well and seek to understand. Resources:Book – Secrets of Sex and Marriage: 8 Surprises That Make All the Difference, by Shaunti Feldhahn and Dr. Michael SytsmaBook – Married Sex: A Christian Couple's Guide to Reimagining Your Love Life, by Gary Thomas and Debra FiletaPodcast – Married with Benefits (FamilyLife Network)Website – Authentic Intimacy

Welcome to the Marriage Talk Podcast - Ep 191 - Secrets of Sex Part TWO with Shaunti Feldhahn & Dr. Michael Sytsma with a special focus on their breakthrough book, Secrets of Sex and Marriage: 8 Surprises That Make All the Difference Most people are curious about sex and would love a few answers. "Are we normal?" "Why isn't my spouse as interested in sex as I am?" "I don't want to feel pressured, but don't want to disappoint my spouse either--what do I do?" "How do we handle the impact of medication, menopause, porn, ED, pain . . . ?" Most importantly: "How can we get on the same page and create a thriving intimate life?" Sex is one of the most common marriage issues (for example, almost 80% of couples are mismatched in how often they want it), but it doesn't have to be that way. Relationship researcher Shaunti Feldhahn and renowned sex therapist Dr. Michael Sytsma have identified eight simple, transformational factors to help you move from disconnection to delight. This is knowledge you can trust,based on vast clinical experience and their breakthrough research, including the largest nationally representative study ever conducted with married couples about sex. This book is not a "sex manual"; it is a fascinating, practical field guide that will help you intimately understand your spouse and create the marriage you've always wanted. BUY THE BOOK MORE RESEARCH AND INFORMATION: https://secretsofsexandmarriage.com/ WATCH THE ENTIRE PODCAST INTERVIEW: https://youtu.be/hY2Q1GJHoeA ------------ WATCH the Marriage Talk Podcast on our YouTube Channel CLICK HERE for more information on the ministry and marriage events hosted by Jay and Laura Laffoon CLICK HERE for more information on Bill Hobson and the Hobson Media Podcast Network Have a question, comment, suggestion for Marriage Talk? We'd love to hear from you! Email us: marriagetalkmin@gmail.com Follow us on Facebook        

Welcome to the Marriage Talk Podcast - Ep 190 - Secrets of Sex Part ONE with Shaunti Feldhahn & Dr. Michael Sytsma with a special focus on their breakthrough book, Secrets of Sex and Marriage: 8 Surprises That Make All the Difference Most people are curious about sex and would love a few answers. "Are we normal?" "Why isn't my spouse as interested in sex as I am?" "I don't want to feel pressured, but don't want to disappoint my spouse either--what do I do?" "How do we handle the impact of medication, menopause, porn, ED, pain . . . ?" Most importantly: "How can we get on the same page and create a thriving intimate life?" Sex is one of the most common marriage issues (for example, almost 80% of couples are mismatched in how often they want it), but it doesn't have to be that way. Relationship researcher Shaunti Feldhahn and renowned sex therapist Dr. Michael Sytsma have identified eight simple, transformational factors to help you move from disconnection to delight. This is knowledge you can trust,based on vast clinical experience and their breakthrough research, including the largest nationally representative study ever conducted with married couples about sex. This book is not a "sex manual"; it is a fascinating, practical field guide that will help you intimately understand your spouse and create the marriage you've always wanted. BUY THE BOOK MORE RESEARCH AND INFORMATION: https://secretsofsexandmarriage.com/ WATCH THE ENTIRE PODCAST INTERVIEW: https://youtu.be/hY2Q1GJHoeA ------------ WATCH the Marriage Talk Podcast on our YouTube Channel CLICK HERE for more information on the ministry and marriage events hosted by Jay and Laura Laffoon CLICK HERE for more information on Bill Hobson and the Hobson Media Podcast Network Have a question, comment, suggestion for Marriage Talk? We'd love to hear from you! Email us: marriagetalkmin@gmail.com Follow us on Facebook    

We are taking the month of December to highlight the top podcasts since the beginning of our podcast journey. Today our CFL team sits down with ordained minister, licensed professional counselor rectified sex therapist, professor, and national speaker Dr. Michael Sytsma. Dr. Sytsma has over 30 years of clinical experience in sex therapy and he founded Building Intimate Marriages, Inc. He is also co-founder of Sexual Wholeness, Inc. and co-author of the book we are discussing today, “Secrets of Sex & Marriage: 8 Surprises that make all the difference. Part 2

How do you know you've started menopause? Can you get pregnant during menopause? What happens to your sex drive during menopause? Experts Dr. Debra Taylor, LMFT and Dr. Michael Sytsma, CST, CPS, join Juli to share some crucial information about menopause, options for easing symptoms, and how husbands can be sympathetic supporters at this pivotal moment in a woman's life.   Guests: Dr. Debra Taylor, LMFT and Dr. Michael Sytsma, CST, CPS   Debra's Website: debraltaylortherapy.com Mike's Website: intimatemarriage.org Mike's Instagram: @buildingintimatemarriages @drsytsma   Find out more about our Online Book Study groups! Partner with Authentic Intimacy!   Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.

We are taking the month of December to highlight the top podcasts since the beginning of our podcast journey. Today our CFL team sits down with ordained minister, licensed professional counselor rectified sex therapist, professor, and national speaker Dr. Michael Sytsma. Dr. Sytsma has over 30 years of clinical experience in sex therapy and he founded Building Intimate Marriages, Inc. He is also co-founder of Sexual Wholeness, Inc. and co-author of the book we are discussing today, “Secrets of Sex & Marriage: 8 Surprises that make all the difference.

*DISCLAIMER* This message contains adult themes and is not intended for little ears. Special Patreon Release: Remaining Sexually Engaged Through the Years with Dr. Michael Sytsma Colossians 3:14 (NIV) “And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.” Dr. Michael Sytsma is a certified sex therapist, ordained minister, and co-founder of sexual wholeness.  Dr. Mike has been working with couples in a variety of capacities since 1987. He currently works with Building Intimate Marriages in Atlanta, GA as he meets with clients, teaches, and speaks at various conferences. He and Karen have been married since 1985 and have two sons, Josiah and Caleb. Building Intimate Marriages Website Thank You to Our Sponsor: Chasing Sacred (Use code SAVVY for 20 percent off their Bible studies) Connect with The Savvy Sauce through Our Website Gospel Scripture: (all NIV) Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,” Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.” Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.” Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.” Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.” John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.” Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession- to the praise of his glory.” Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.” Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“ Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“ Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”

Today we revisit one of the best of a recent episode of SMR. In it, I'm joined by Shaunti Feldhahn and Dr Michael Sytsma as we talked through their new book, Secrets of Sex and Marriage. Based on their latest research with couples, what surprised them most? What do married couples need to know about how things actually play out in marriage? And what should married couples do about our differences and similarities? Learn more about them and their work here - https://secretsofsexandmarriage.com/ Enjoy the show! Sponsors ... LEAN: Get 15% OFF by going to https://takelean.com Use our code PASSION to get 15% off. The post Best of SMR: Secrets of Sex and Marriage #693 first appeared on Sexy Marriage Radio.

Wondering how to improve your sex life? Beyond the general relationship advice and intimacy tips you might have found online, there's an unpopular argument you might not have heard: that the key to improving your sexual connection lies with you. Christian Sex Therapist Dr. Michael Sytsma joins Juli to talk about three underrated ways couples can boost their sexual and emotional intimacy.   Guest: Dr. Michael Sytsma Michael's website: intimatemarriage.org   Java with Juli: #516 Don't Skip Foreplay! (and Other Advice from a Christian Sex Therapist) Explore more resources on Sex in Marriage   Find out more about Online Book Study groups here!   Ladies, check out our upcoming Online Coaching Intensives: Dr. Jennifer Degler: Sexuality for Wives Lyschel Burket: Hope and Healing for Wives for Sexual Intimacy After Betrayal Click here to learn more and sign up!   Register for Second Cup on August 20th!   Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.

Welcome to episode 4 of 5 in our Summer Series called, Cultivating an Emotionally Healthy Marriage. Joining us for a conversation about sex is our dear friend, a licensed marriage and family therapist whose specialization in graduate school was sex therapy, Laura Dugger.In this episode, Laura talks about how sex makes everything better. Wait until you hear the research! With honesty, vulnerability, and a solid dose of fun, Josh and Christi's interview with Laura includes:The hidden benefits of sexHow to talk to your spouse about sexReasons for, and how to, schedule sexIndividual differences when it comes to sexThe God-given purpose of sex in marriage We hope you download the pdf files that go along with these episodes (found in show notes below) and use them in your small groups, with your spouse, or as a companion guide to the content.Show Notes: How Marriage is Saving Me: Sign up for weekly devotionalhttps://shorturl.at/NtnCq Download the free discussion guide pdf for the Summer Series. https://www.famousathome.com/summerseriessignup Ladies, register now for Tender & Fierce!https://www.famousathome.com/tenderandfierce Men, join the interest list for our exciting, upcoming men's discipleship journey! https://www.famousathome.com/mensinterestformListen to this episode on Youtube by clicking here.https://youtu.be/NzgcDR013P0RESOURCES MENTIONED BY LAURA DUGGER: Listen to the Savvy Sauce Podcast! hosted by Laura Duggerhttps://thesavvysauce.com/Dr. Jennifer Konzen podcast episode: Fostering a Fun, Healthy Sex Life with your Spouse with Dr. Jennifer Konzenhttps://shorturl.at/mPQvW Visit The Art of Intimate Marriage Website: Access to Dr. Konzen's book, podcast, sex therapist training, and a marriage video series.https://www.theartofintimatemarriage.com/Listen to Dr. Douglas Rosenau podcast episode: Ways to Deepen Your Intimacy in Marriage with Dr. Douglas Rosenauhttps://shorturl.at/EfLZ8Read A Celebration of Sex by Dr. Douglas Rosenau: A guide to enjoying God's gift of sexual intimacyhttps://amzn.to/4cMWVfk Listen to Dr. Michael Sytsma podcast episode: Enjoying a God-Honoring, Healthy Sex Life with Your Spouse with Certified Sex Therapist and Ordained Minister, Dr. Michael Sytsmahttps://shorturl.at/A2pHOListen to Francie Winslow podcast episodes: Sex in Marriage and Its Positive Effects with Francie Winslow, Part 1https://shorturl.at/Mx9Iw Science and Art of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage, Part 2https://tinyurl.com/bddr6b58 Listen to Drs. Clifford and Joyce Penner podcast episode: Easy Changes to Enhance Your Sexual Intimacy in Marriage with Dr. Clifford and Joyce Pennerhttps://tinyurl.com/5n897dpn Time stamps:(0:38) Introduction(3:31) An introduction to Laura Dugger(6:00) Laura's journey into becoming a sex therapist(8:15) Disclaimer about the sex conversation(9:33) Specific ways sex makes everything in your life better(11:28) Biblical foundation for sex(15:45) Addressing body image(21:11) Healthy ways to have conversation about sex(27:30) Common differences in couples(31:08) Purity culture, pornography, and rewiring our brains for healthy connection(33:35) Talking about desire discrepancy and scheduling sex(38:27) Testosterone in women and best time of day for sex(40:40) One piece of advice for husbands(42:44) One piece of advice for wives(44:54) How to know when to reach out for outside support(49:00) The last word

*DISCLAIMER* This episode is intended for adults   Top Ten from 2023 #6 Secrets of Sex and Marriage: An Interview with Dr. Michael Sytsma   Micah 6:8 (NIV) "He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God."   Questions and Topics We Cover: Will you share a few practical sexual education tips with us? What are the best ways spouses can practice communicating well about sex and what are the potential benefits? How does "desire tend to work differently for men and women"?   Dr. Michael Sytsma is a certified sex therapist, ordained minister, and co-founder of sexual wholeness.  Dr. Mike has been working with couples in a variety of capacities since 1987. He currently works with Building Intimate Marriages in Atlanta, GA as he meets with clients, teaches, and speaks at various conferences. He and Karen have been married since 1985 and have two sons, Josiah and Caleb, and one daughter-in-law.   Secrets of Sex and Marriage Website   Building Intimate Marriages Website   Previous Episodes with Dr. Mike on The Savvy Sauce podcast: Ten Common Questions About Sex, Shared Through a Biblical Worldview with Dr. Michael Sytsma   Enjoying a God-Honoring, Healthy Sex Life with Your Spouse with Certified Sex Therapist and Ordained Minister, Dr. Michael Sytsma   Desire Discrepancy in Marriage with Dr. Michael Sytsma   Patreon 29 Remaining Sexually Engaged Through The Years with Dr. Michael Sytsma   Thank You to Our Sponsor: The Sue Neihouser Team   Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook or Instagram or Our Website   Donate to Savvy Sauce Charities here!   Please help us out by sharing this episode with a friend, leaving a 5-star rating and review, and subscribing to this podcast!   Gospel Scripture: (all NIV)   Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”   Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”   Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”    Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”    Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”    Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”    John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”   Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”    Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”   Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”   Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession- to the praise of his glory.”   Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”   Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“   Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“   Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”  

How does a couple fight for purity when our culture is saturated with pornography? Jim Daly speaks with Dr. Michael Sytsma and Shaunti Feldhahn about encouraging people to resist the temptation to look at pornography. Also, John and the Smalley's explain why porn can have a devastating impact on marriages.   Find us online at focusonthefamily.com/marriagepodcast or call 1-800-A-FAMILY   Receive the book Secrets of Sex & Marriage for your donation of any amount!   Focus on Marriage Assessment   Listen Anytime   Contact our Counseling Department   The Truth Offers Hope and Freedom from Pornography Addiction    If you've listened to any of our podcasts, please give us your feedback.

How does a couple fight for purity when our culture is saturated with pornography? Jim Daly speaks with Dr. Michael Sytsma and Shaunti Feldhahn about encouraging people to resist the temptation to look at pornography. Also, John and the Smalley's explain why porn can have a devastating impact on marriages.   Find us online at focusonthefamily.com/marriagepodcast or call 1-800-A-FAMILY   Receive the book Secrets of Sex Marriage for your donation of any amount!   Focus on Marriage Assessment   Listen Anytime   Contact our Counseling Department   The Truth Offers Hope and Freedom from Pornography Addiction    If you've listened to any of our podcasts, please give us your feedback. To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/1196/29

Married sexuality has its challenges, internal and external, and it can be tempting to quit having sex or step outside the marriage, but there are ways to address some of the issues and overcome them as a couple.   Christian sex therapist Dr. Michael Sytsma joins Juli to talk about: How to manage mismatched libidos Why foreplay matters What to do if you experience symptoms of Erectile Dysfunction Why sex is important in marriage How to re-enter holy sexuality and eroticism after abstaining without it becoming sin Guest: Dr. Michael Sytsma Website: Building Intimate Marriages Instagram: @buildingintimatemarriages   Explore more resources on Sex in Marriage   Sign up for Second Cup!   Learn more about becoming a member.     Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.

Past sexual abuse can be one of the most difficult things to discuss with your spouse. John, Erin and Greg provide hope to people who've been sexually abused. Plus, Jim Daly speaks to Dr. Michael Sytsma about how you can be a source of healing, if your spouse has experienced past sexual trauma.   Find us online at focusonthefamily.com/marriagepodcast or call 1-800-A-FAMILY   Receive the book Secrets of Sex & Marriage for your donation of any amount!   Hope Restored   Listen Anytime   Sexual Trauma and Its Effect on Marriage   Contact our Counseling Department    If you've listened to any of our podcasts, please give us your feedback.

Past sexual abuse can be one of the most difficult things to discuss with your spouse. John, Erin and Greg provide hope to people who've been sexually abused. Plus, Jim Daly speaks to Dr. Michael Sytsma about how you can be a source of healing, if your spouse has experienced past sexual trauma.   Find us online at focusonthefamily.com/marriagepodcast or call 1-800-A-FAMILY   Receive the book Secrets of Sex Marriage for your donation of any amount!   Hope Restored   Listen Anytime   Sexual Trauma and Its Effect on Marriage   Contact our Counseling Department    If you've listened to any of our podcasts, please give us your feedback. To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/1196/29

Unrealistic expectations going into marriage will lead to disappointment. That principle also applies to sex. John, Erin and Greg discuss how unhealthy expectations is something many couples struggle with. You'll also hear Jim Daly talk with Shaunti Feldhahn and Dr. Michael Sytsma about loving your spouse, even when sex isn't going perfectly.   Find us online at focusonthefamily.com/marriagepodcast or call 1-800-A-FAMILY   Receive the book Secrets of Sex & Marriage for your donation of any amount!   Focus on Marriage Assessment   Listen Anytime   5 Things Experts Wish You Knew About Healthy Sex in Marriage   Contact our Counseling Department    If you've listened to any of our podcasts, please give us your feedback.

Unrealistic expectations going into marriage will lead to disappointment. That principle also applies to sex. John, Erin and Greg discuss how unhealthy expectations is something many couples struggle with. You'll also hear Jim Daly talk with Shaunti Feldhahn and Dr. Michael Sytsma about loving your spouse, even when sex isn't going perfectly.   Find us online at focusonthefamily.com/marriagepodcast or call 1-800-A-FAMILY   Receive the book Secrets of Sex Marriage for your donation of any amount!   Focus on Marriage Assessment   Listen Anytime   5 Things Experts Wish You Knew About Healthy Sex in Marriage   Contact our Counseling Department    If you've listened to any of our podcasts, please give us your feedback. To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/1196/29

Sadly, many marriages today have at least one spouse who's struggling with pornography. Jim Daly speaks with Dr. Michael Sytsma and Shaunti Feldhahn about the great damage porn can do to a marriage. Then, John and Greg discuss some practical steps a person can take towards wholeness if he or she is struggling with pornography.   Find us online at focusonthefamily.com/marriagepodcast or call 1-800-A-FAMILY   Receive the book the Secrets of Sex & Marriage for your donation of any amount!   Focus on Marriage Assessment   Listen Anytime   Responding to Your Husband's Secret: Porn   No Porn Marriage Podcast   If you've listened to any of our podcasts, please give us your feedback.

Sadly, many marriages today have at least one spouse who's struggling with pornography. Jim Daly speaks with Dr. Michael Sytsma and Shaunti Feldhahn about the great damage porn can do to a marriage. Then, John and Greg discuss some practical steps a person can take towards wholeness if he or she is struggling with pornography.   Find us online at focusonthefamily.com/marriagepodcast or call 1-800-A-FAMILY   Receive the book the Secrets of Sex Marriage for your donation of any amount!   Focus on Marriage Assessment   Listen Anytime   Responding to Your Husband's Secret: Porn   No Porn Marriage Podcast   If you've listened to any of our podcasts, please give us your feedback. To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/1196/29

Sex is a wonderful gift for marriage, and yet, it can also be complicated. John and Greg address how physical intimacy is a top issue many couples fight over. You'll also hear Jim Daly talk with Shaunti Feldhahn and Dr. Michael Sytsma about how couples can work through scenarios where one spouse wants sex more than the other. Finally, Erin Smalley will offer a helpful perspective on how to ask your spouse for sex.   Find us online at focusonthefamily.com/marriagepodcast or call 1-800-A-FAMILY   Receive the book the Secrets of Sex & Marriage for your donation of any amount!   Focus on Marriage Assessment   Listen Anytime   Article: The Best Ways to Deal with Mismatched Libidos in Marriage   Article: What is Intimacy?   If you've listened to any of our podcasts, please give us your feedback.

Sex is a wonderful gift for marriage, and yet, it can also be complicated. John and Greg address how physical intimacy is a top issue many couples fight over. You'll also hear Jim Daly talk with Shaunti Feldhahn and Dr. Michael Sytsma about how couples can work through scenarios where one spouse wants sex more than the other. Finally, Erin Smalley will offer a helpful perspective on how to ask your spouse for sex.   Find us online at focusonthefamily.com/marriagepodcast or call 1-800-A-FAMILY   Receive the book the Secrets of Sex Marriage for your donation of any amount!   Focus on Marriage Assessment   Listen Anytime   Article: The Best Ways to Deal with Mismatched Libidos in Marriage   Article: What is Intimacy?   If you've listened to any of our podcasts, please give us your feedback. To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/1196/29

What's it look like to keep the romance alive when it things are flaming out? Well, Ron and Nan Deal, Juli Slattery, and Michael R. Sytsma, PhD are here to help. They're talking about bringing back that love, having meaningful chats and noticing when things feel off. Show Notes and Resources Want to hear more episodes by Ron Deal? Listen here! Catch more of his thoughts at rondeal.org, and on X @RonLDeal Want to hear more episodes by Dr. Juli Slattery? Listen here! Catch more of her thoughts at authenticintimacy.com, and on Instagram and Facebook @authenticintimacy Want to hear more episodes by Michael Sytsma? Listen here! Catch more of their thoughts on Facebook @drsytsma Set sail on the ultimate romantic getaway! Book now for the 2025 Love Like You Mean It Marriage Cruise, sailing from Miami, FL on February 8 - 15, 2025. Don't miss our LLYMI Cruise Madness Sale! Secure your spot at lovelikeyoumeanitcruise.com. Find resources from this podcast at shop.familylife.com. See resources from our past podcasts. Find more content and resources on the FamilyLife's app! Help others find FamilyLife. Leave a review on Apple Podcast or Spotify. Check out all the FamilyLife's podcasts on the FamilyLife Podcast Network

What's it look like to keep the romance alive when it things are flaming out? Well, Ron Nan Deal, Juli Slattery, and Michael R. Sytsma, PhD are here to help. They're talking about bringing back that love, having meaningful chats and noticing when things feel off. To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/84/29

What's it look like to keep the romance alive when it things are flaming out? Well, Ron Nan Deal, Juli Slattery, and Michael R. Sytsma, PhD are here to help. They're talking about bringing back that love, having meaningful chats and noticing when things feel off. To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/84/29

It's common for married couples to ask, "how often should we be physically intimate?" While there's no rule, Jim Daly speaks to Dr. Michael Sytsma and Shaunti Feldhahn on why many couples struggle to agree on frequency. You'll also hear John and the Smalley's offer encouragement to couples who are struggling to enjoy sex.   Find us online at focusonthefamily.com/marriagepodcast or call 1-800-A-FAMILY   Receive the book Secrets of Sex & Marriage for your donation of any amount!   Focus on Marriage Assessment   Listen Anytime   Contact our Counseling Department   The Best Ways to Deal with Mismatched Libidos in Marriage   If you've listened to any of our podcasts, please give us your feedback.

It's common for married couples to ask, "how often should we be physically intimate?" While there's no rule, Jim Daly speaks to Dr. Michael Sytsma and Shaunti Feldhahn on why many couples struggle to agree on frequency. You'll also hear John and the Smalley's offer encouragement to couples who are struggling to enjoy sex.   Find us online at focusonthefamily.com/marriagepodcast or call 1-800-A-FAMILY   Receive the book Secrets of Sex Marriage for your donation of any amount!   Focus on Marriage Assessment   Listen Anytime   Contact our Counseling Department   The Best Ways to Deal with Mismatched Libidos in Marriage   If you've listened to any of our podcasts, please give us your feedback. To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/1196/29

How do you deal with a situation where you and your spouse have differing desires regarding sex? Jim Daly talks with Dr. Michael Sytsma and Shaunti Feldhahn about three kinds of sexual desire that most couples deal with. Also, John and the Smalley's discuss what couples can do if one or both spouses are resistant to sexual intimacy.   Find us online at focusonthefamily.com/marriagepodcast or call 1-800-A-FAMILY   Receive the book Secrets of Sex & Marriage for your donation of any amount!   Focus on Marriage Assessment   Listen Anytime   Contact our Counseling Department   The Best Ways to Deal with Mismatched Libidos in Marriage   If you've listened to any of our podcasts, please give us your feedback.

How do you deal with a situation where you and your spouse have differing desires regarding sex? Jim Daly talks with Dr. Michael Sytsma and Shaunti Feldhahn about three kinds of sexual desire that most couples deal with. Also, John and the Smalley's discuss what couples can do if one or both spouses are resistant to sexual intimacy.   Find us online at focusonthefamily.com/marriagepodcast or call 1-800-A-FAMILY   Receive the book Secrets of Sex Marriage for your donation of any amount!   Focus on Marriage Assessment   Listen Anytime   Contact our Counseling Department   The Best Ways to Deal with Mismatched Libidos in Marriage   If you've listened to any of our podcasts, please give us your feedback. To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/1196/29

What does it look like to let God reclaim sex in your marriage…when sex is painful? Or when it feels like an obligation? Or when your spouse wants to engage in BDSM? In this special Live Q&A episode from Reclaim 2022, Juli is joined by Dr. Jennifer Degler and Dr. Michael Sytsma as they provide biblical, practical answers to questions on sex that some of us are too afraid to ask.   Guests: Dr. Jennifer Degler and Dr. Michael Sytsma   Jennifer's Website: jenniferdegler.com/ Mike's Website: intimatemarriage.org/   Website: (American Board of Certified Sex Therapists) abcst.org Website: mycounselor.online Website: (International Society for the Study of Women's Sexual Health) isswsh.org Blog: 3 Reasons Why “Faking It” is Making Your Bad Sex Life Even Worse   Register for Reclaim! Become a Member

Have you tried to be encouraging to your spouse, but he or she wasn't receptive to it? Jim Daly talks to Shaunti Feldhahn and Dr. Michael Sytsma about some healthy perspectives on if your spouse isn't receiving your kind words. Plus, John and the Smalley's discuss how positive affirmations can help a couple build trust and have more enjoyable intimacy.   Find us online at focusonthefamily.com/marriagepodcast or call 1-800-A-FAMILY   Receive the book Secrets of Sex & Marriage for your donation of any amount!   Focus on Marriage Assessment   Listen Anytime   Contact our Counseling Department   Honest Affirmation Can Make Your Marriage Great   If you've listened to any of our podcasts, please give us your feedback.

Have you tried to be encouraging to your spouse, but he or she wasn't receptive to it? Jim Daly talks to Shaunti Feldhahn and Dr. Michael Sytsma about some healthy perspectives on if your spouse isn't receiving your kind words. Plus, John and the Smalley's discuss how positive affirmations can help a couple build trust and have more enjoyable intimacy.   Find us online at focusonthefamily.com/marriagepodcast or call 1-800-A-FAMILY   Receive the book Secrets of Sex Marriage for your donation of any amount!   Focus on Marriage Assessment   Listen Anytime   Contact our Counseling Department   Honest Affirmation Can Make Your Marriage Great   If you've listened to any of our podcasts, please give us your feedback. To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/1196/29

Being affirmed by your spouse is great, but do you need it to survive? John, Erin and Greg explain why affirming your spouse is healthy, and discuss the difference between a need and a strong desire. You'll also hear from Jim Daly and Dr. Michael Sytsma on why feeling good about yourself is your decision, and should not be dependent on what your spouse says.   Find us online at focusonthefamily.com/marriagepodcast or call 1-800-A-FAMILY   Receive the book Secrets of Sex & Marriage for your donation of any amount!   Focus on Marriage Assessment   Listen Anytime   Discovering Mutual Pleasure in Marriage   Honest Affirmation Can Make Your Marriage Great   If you've listened to any of our podcasts, please give us your feedback.

Being affirmed by your spouse is great, but do you need it to survive? John, Erin and Greg explain why affirming your spouse is healthy, and discuss the difference between a need and a strong desire. You'll also hear from Jim Daly and Dr. Michael Sytsma on why feeling good about yourself is your decision, and should not be dependent on what your spouse says.   Find us online at focusonthefamily.com/marriagepodcast or call 1-800-A-FAMILY   Receive the book Secrets of Sex Marriage for your donation of any amount!   Focus on Marriage Assessment   Listen Anytime   Discovering Mutual Pleasure in Marriage   Honest Affirmation Can Make Your Marriage Great   If you've listened to any of our podcasts, please give us your feedback. To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/1196/29

Dr. Michael Sytsma is a licensed professional counselor, certified sex therapist, ordained minister, professor, and national speaker. With over 30 years of clinical experience and an expert leader in sex therapy, he founded Building Intimate Marriages, Inc. and co-founded Sexual Wholeness, Inc. Learn more at: intimatemarriage.org. Dr. Mike's latest book Secrets of Sex and Marriage: 8 Surprises That Make All the Difference was co-written with Shaunti Feldhahn and is available on Amazon and everywhere books are sold. Find out more at: https://secretsofsexandmarriage.com/ You can follow Dr. Mike on social media: @drsytsma

Dr. Michael Sytsma is a licensed professional counselor, certified sex therapist, ordained minister, professor, and national speaker. With over 30 years of clinical experience and an expert leader in sex therapy, he founded Building Intimate Marriages, Inc. and co-founded Sexual Wholeness, Inc. Learn more at: intimatemarriage.org. Dr. Mike's latest book Secrets of Sex and Marriage: 8 Surprises That Make All the Difference was co-written with Shaunti Feldhahn and is available on Amazon and everywhere books are sold. Find out more at: https://secretsofsexandmarriage.com/ You can follow Dr. Mike on social media: @drsytsma

You long to feel emotionally safe in marriage. When you feel that safety, it can positively impact your sexual relationship. Shaunti Feldhahn and Dr. Michael Sytsma talk with Jim Daly about the need to focus on good things in your marriage, even outside of the bedroom. Plus, John and the Smalley's talk about how you can help your mate overcome his or her insecurities.   Find us online at focusonthefamily.com/marriagepodcast or call 1-800-A-FAMILY   Receive the book Secrets of Sex & Marriage for your donation of any amount!   Focus on Marriage Assessment   Listen Anytime   Contact our Counseling Department   5 Things Experts Wish You Knew About Healthy Sex in Marriage   If you've listened to any of our podcasts, please give us your feedback.

You long to feel emotionally safe in marriage. When you feel that safety, it can positively impact your sexual relationship. Shaunti Feldhahn and Dr. Michael Sytsma talk with Jim Daly about the need to focus on good things in your marriage, even outside of the bedroom. Plus, John and the Smalley's talk about how you can help your mate overcome his or her insecurities.   Find us online at focusonthefamily.com/marriagepodcast or call 1-800-A-FAMILY   Receive the book Secrets of Sex Marriage for your donation of any amount!   Focus on Marriage Assessment   Listen Anytime   Contact our Counseling Department   5 Things Experts Wish You Knew About Healthy Sex in Marriage   If you've listened to any of our podcasts, please give us your feedback. To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/1196/29

The truth is, many couples face challenges regarding physical intimacy. John, Greg, and Erin share why a satisfying sex life takes time and doesn't happen overnight. You'll also hear from Jim Daly, who talks to Shaunti Feldhahn and Dr. Michael Sytsma about common misconceptions many couples have about sex.   Find us online at focusonthefamily.com/marriagepodcast or call 1-800-A-FAMILY   Receive the book Secrets of Sex & Marriage for your donation of any amount!   Focus on Marriage Assessment   Listen Anytime   Contact our Counseling Department   5 Things Experts Wish You Knew About Healthy Sex in Marriage   If you've listened to any of our podcasts, please give us your feedback.

The truth is, many couples face challenges regarding physical intimacy. John, Greg, and Erin share why a satisfying sex life takes time and doesn't happen overnight. You'll also hear from Jim Daly, who talks to Shaunti Feldhahn and Dr. Michael Sytsma about common misconceptions many couples have about sex.   Find us online at focusonthefamily.com/marriagepodcast or call 1-800-A-FAMILY   Receive the book Secrets of Sex Marriage for your donation of any amount!   Focus on Marriage Assessment   Listen Anytime   Contact our Counseling Department   5 Things Experts Wish You Knew About Healthy Sex in Marriage   If you've listened to any of our podcasts, please give us your feedback. To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/1196/29

Originally Aired on February 28, 2023View this episode on Youtube----------HELP REACH THE YEAR-END GOAL TO IMPACT MORE LIVES!We have a goal of $103,000 to reach even more individuals and families in 2024 through this podcast and all our other ministries.To partner with us, give at Bebroken.org/donate or call 210-822-8201.----------Sexual betrayal in marriage is more common than most of us would like to admit. But this terrible fracture is not incurable for couples who choose to go on a journey of healing and restoration.Our guest today is Dr. Michael Sytsma, a licensed professional counselor, ordained minister, professor, and founder of Building Intimate Marriages. In our conversation, Michael answers questions about the “why” of affairs, the impact of past trauma, the myth of affairs only occurring in “bad” marriages, how to know if restoration is possible, what is required for restoration, and more. To learn more about Michael and Building Intimate Marriages, visit IntimateMarriage.org.More Resources:Secrets of Sex and Marriage (book)Gateway to Freedom for MenWives Care GroupsRelated Podcasts:Rebuilding a Healthy Marriage After BetrayalAffair Recovery Through a Trauma LensHelping Husbands and Wives Go All In----------Please rate and review our podcast: Apple PodcastsSubscribe to our YouTube channel.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/pure-sex-radio/donations

Sometimes, one spouse desires sex more than the other. When that happens, how can you and your spouse talk about it? John and the Smalley's address why it's good to put your spouse's needs above your own. Also, Jim Daly talks to Dr. Michael Sytsma and Shaunti Feldhahn about why it matters that you and your spouse have a good sex life.   Receive the book Secrets of Sex & Marriage for your donation of any amount!   Focus on Marriage Assessment   Listen Anytime   Find Questions You Can Ask Your Spouse About Sex   Contact our Counseling Department   If you've listened to any of our podcasts, please give us your feedback.

Sometimes, one spouse desires sex more than the other. When that happens, how can you and your spouse talk about it? John and the Smalley's address why it's good to put your spouse's needs above your own. Also, Jim Daly talks to Dr. Michael Sytsma and Shaunti Feldhahn about why it matters that you and your spouse have a good sex life.   Receive the book Secrets of Sex Marriage for your donation of any amount!   Focus on Marriage Assessment   Listen Anytime   Find Questions You Can Ask Your Spouse About Sex   Contact our Counseling Department   If you've listened to any of our podcasts, please give us your feedback. To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/1196/29

*DISCLAIMER* This episode is intended for adults   Secrets of Sex and Marriage: An Interview with Dr. Michael Sytsma   Micah 6:8 (NIV) "He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God."   Questions and Topics We Cover: Will you share a few practical sexual education tips with us? What are the best ways spouses can practice communicating well about sex and what are the potential benefits? How does "desire tend to work differently for men and women"?   Dr. Michael Sytsma is a certified sex therapist, ordained minister, and co-founder of sexual wholeness.  Dr. Mike has been working with couples in a variety of capacities since 1987. He currently works with Building Intimate Marriages in Atlanta, GA as he meets with clients, teaches, and speaks at various conferences. He and Karen have been married since 1985 and have two sons, Josiah and Caleb, and one daughter-in-law.   Secrets of Sex and Marriage Website   Building Intimate Marriages Website   Previous Episodes with Dr. Mike: Ten Common Questions About Sex, Shared Through a Biblical Worldview with Dr. Michael Sytsma   Enjoying a God-Honoring, Healthy Sex Life with Your Spouse with Certified Sex Therapist and Ordained Minister, Dr. Michael Sytsma   Desire Discrepancy in Marriage with Dr. Michael Sytsma   Patreon 29 Remaining Sexually Engaged Through The Years with Dr. Michael Sytsma   Thank You to Our Sponsor: Leman Property Management Company   Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook or Instagram or Our Website   Donate to Savvy Sauce Charities here!   Please help us out by sharing this episode with a friend, leaving a 5-star rating and review, and subscribing to this podcast!   Gospel Scripture: (all NIV)   Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”   Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”   Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”    Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”    Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”    Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”    John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”   Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”    Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”   Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”   Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession- to the praise of his glory.”   Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”   Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“   Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“   Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”

When was the last time you and your spouse talked about sex? The truth is, many couples struggle to discus it at all. Jim Daly speaks to Shaunti Feldhahn and Dr. Michael Sytsma about why many couples face challenges regarding physical intimacy. Plus, John and the Smalley's address why you need to talk about physical intimacy.   Receive the book Secrets of Sex & Marriage for your donation of any amount!   Focus on Marriage Assessment   Listen Anytime   Find Questions You Can Ask Your Spouse About Sex   Contact our Counseling Department   If you've listened to any of our podcasts, please give us your feedback.

When was the last time you and your spouse talked about sex? The truth is, many couples struggle to discus it at all. Jim Daly speaks to Shaunti Feldhahn and Dr. Michael Sytsma about why many couples face challenges regarding physical intimacy. Plus, John and the Smalley's address why you need to talk about physical intimacy.   Receive the book Secrets of Sex Marriage for your donation of any amount!   Focus on Marriage Assessment   Listen Anytime   Find Questions You Can Ask Your Spouse About Sex   Contact our Counseling Department   If you've listened to any of our podcasts, please give us your feedback. To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/1196/29

Michael Sytsma has nearly 20 years of leadership experience in the banking industry, as well as many leadership roles in non-profits. Join me today as we discuss servant leadership, what Michael has learned through the years, and about a ministry he is involved in and very passionate about. Michael's LinkedIn Christophe's Children website KeyBank Support the showBe sure to rate and follow our podcast!

If you're a married person feeling like there's a giant chasm between the level of sexual desire you and your spouse experience, this special re-air episode is for you. Through over two years of research and work, Shaunti Feldhahn and Dr. Michael Sytsma surveyed and documented numerous married couples, examining the way they connect around sexual intimacy in their marriage. They investigated trends, causality, and correlation all in a bid to help couples bridge the gaps they experience in their sexual intimacy, and their findings might just surprise you. Guests: Shaunti Feldhahn and Dr. Michael Sytsma     Book: Secrets of Sex and Marriage: 8 Surprises That Make All the Difference by Shaunti Feldhahn & Dr. Michael Sytsma Website: Building Intimate Marriages Explore more Authentic Intimacy resources on Sex in Marriage Partner with Authentic Intimacy!

Today Bob and Dannah Gresh bring you more advice from their sex therapist, Joyce Penner. You'll get practical encouragement for how to rebuild your intimacy along with a book recommendation that'll help you feel like you're not alone if you're experiencing barriers in the bedroom.Buy the Happily Even After book by Dannah GreshUse the coupon code “HEA” to get a free month of Covenant Eyes screen accountability.LISTEN:Shaunti Feldhahn talks with Erin Davis about “Why we still need sexual integrity” on Grounded Chelsea and Layton Boeve on the Liberator podcastCONTACT:Joyce Penner at Passionate Commitment for sex therapyFind a Christian sex therapist near you at Dr. Michael Sytsma's Sexual Wholeness, Inc.READ:Secrets of Sex and Marriage: 8 Surprises that Make All the Difference by Shaunti Feldhahn and Dr. Michael SytsmaEnjoy: The Gift of Sexual Pleasure for Women by Clifford and Joyce PennerThe Married Guys Guide to Great Sex by Dr. Clifford and Joyce Penner

This episode is for anyone interested in investing in their sexual relationship from an early stage to set the foundation for a fulfilling and intimate connection in the future. My wife and I are beginning our fifth decade in life. We had a discussion the other night about what kind of sex life we want to have in our 50s, 60s, 70s, and 80s and beyond! Having a long term vision for your sex life will bring up things that are important to address. For example, you might find it difficult to find sex pleasurable, have some hang-ups around sex that you want to overcome, or you might have a tendency to withdraw emotionally when you feel rejected, or it might be time to finally address the underlying causes of premature ejaculation. Today's guest is Dr. Michael Sytsma, a licensed sex therapist and evangelical pastor. Michael is the author of an excellent book called The Secrets of Sex and Marriage. I absolutely loved his insights about the importance of exploring sensuality and pleasure in various aspects of life, not just sexual experiences. In this episode you'll hear us talk about the role of mindfulness and being present in one's body, as well as the significance of connecting arousal with emotional intimacy and connection within the relationship. We'll emphasize that a healthy and fulfilling sex life requires a holistic approach that considers spiritual, emotional, physical, and relational aspects.  Most of all, we'll talk about being seductive to our spouse, and what that means. And sometimes building a great sex life requires grieving the things you're not going to be getting.   For more great content like this, check out the following resources: Next Level!: https://getyourmarriageon.com/next-level/ Couples Retreat (Dallas/Ft Worth area): https://getyourmarriageon.com/couples-retreat-dfw/ Website: getyourmarriageon.com Instagram: @getyourmarriageon Fun and Sexy app for couples: Intimately Us

"He said at 74, I am having the best sex of my life. At 74, my penis only occasionally shows up for the party. But I am still having the best sex of my life. I wish I had known in my thirties how to have this kind of sex."What is sex ultimately about? How can married couples enjoy sex more? How do you deal with differences in sexual desire? In this episode, Dr. Michael Sytsma offers a robust theology of sexuality AND clinical wisdom on how to unlock arousal, increase intimacy, and have fun in the bedroom.Dr. Michael Sytsma is a licensed professional counselor, certified sex therapist, ordained minister, professor, and national speaker. He has over 30 years of clinical experience in sex therapy and is the founder of Building Intimate Marriages, Inc. and co-founder of Sexual Wholeness, Inc.Buy Mike's new book: Secrets of Sex & Marriage: 8 Surprises that Make all the Difference (this is a paid link).Learn more at secretsofsexandmarriage.com***Join HMA this week only @ joinhma.com!*** Take the Husband Material Journey... Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy (open this week only) Thanks for listening!

Dr Michael Sytsma joins me again as we dive into the idea of how there is something much deeper going on during sex. There is a higher view to take. Learn more about Dr Sytsma here - https://intimatemarriage.org/bim-team/mike-sytsma/ On the Xtended Version ... I continue the conversation with Michael about Dr Schnarch's idea of eyes-open-sex. Enjoy the show! Sponsors ... Manscaped: Get 20% off and free shipping on the worlds best grooming products for men. Use the code Passion at https://manscaped.com Covenant Spice: Your safe place for Christians to find ways to spice up their sex life. Use our code radio and get a free gift with every purchase at https://covenantspice.com Join Relay: Learn more about the pornography recovery group program Chandler created, the Relay app: bit.ly/passionately-married-relay The post A Higher View | Dr Michael Sytsma #627 first appeared on Sexy Marriage Radio.

Dr Michael Sytsma joins me again as we dive into the idea of how there is something much deeper going on during sex. There is a higher view to take. Learn more about Dr Sytsma here - https://intimatemarriage.org/bim-team/mike-sytsma/ On the Xtended Version ... I continue the conversation with Michael about Dr Schnarch's idea of eyes-open-sex. Enjoy the show! Sponsors ... Manscaped: Get 20% off and free shipping on the worlds best grooming products for men. Use the code Passion at https://manscaped.com Covenant Spice: Your safe place for Christians to find ways to spice up their sex life. Use our code radio and get a free gift with every purchase at https://covenantspice.com Join Relay: Learn more about the pornography recovery group program Chandler created, the Relay app: bit.ly/passionately-married-relay

Dr. Mike is back to talk about his new book Secrets of Sex & Marriage that he co-wrote with marriage research expert Shaunti Feldhan.   Dr. Michael Sytsma is a licensed professional counselor, certified sex therapist, ordained minister, professor, and national speaker. With a pastoral heart, a gift in teaching, and a passion for helping couples grow in marriage, Dr. Systma uses his skills to teach couples important truths about marriage in a fun and interesting way, helping them to grow into healthier, transformative relationships with their spouses. He has over 30 years of clinical experience in sex therapy and is the founder of Building Intimate Marriages, Inc. and co-founder of Sexual Wholeness, Inc. He is coauthor of Secrets of Sex & Marriage: 8 Surprises that Make all the Difference, with Shaunti Feldhahn and contributor to several other works. Learn more about Dr. Sytsma by visiting https://intimatemarriage.org/bim-team/mike-sytsma/ Looking for more episodes on Affair Recovery?  Here are additional conversations, including more with Dr. Mike. Looking for more episodes on marriage enrichment?  Check out this page for more.

Sex and marriage Part 2. That’s coming up on this edition of Building Relationships with Dr. Gary Chapman. Last week, Shaunti Feldhahn revealed some groundbreaking research with married couples. This week, counselor and sex therapist, Dr. Michael Sytsma talks about how to overcome sexual struggles in marriage. Don’t miss this Building Relationships with Dr. Gary Chapman. Featured resource: Secrets of Sex and Marriage: 8 Surprises That Make All the DifferenceSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Prepare to be encouraged by a mentoring session with Shaunti Feldhahn. We are diving into sex and sexuality with Shaunti, as she shares her insight and clinical understanding and perspective. Some of the topics we covered in this conversation include: Surprises that make all the difference. Why sexuality matters. A vision for intimacy. Affirming insecure places. Desire - types of desire and levels of desire. God's beautiful gift of sexuality for women.  About Shaunti Feldhahn: Shaunti received her graduate degree from Harvard University and was an analyst on Wall Street before unexpectedly becoming a social researcher, best-selling author and popular speaker. Today, she applies her analytical skills to investigating eye-opening, life-changing truths about relationships, both at home and in the workplace. Shaunti's books (including several with husband, Jeff) are known for their aha moments and relationship transformations! These groundbreaking research-based books, including  For Women Only, The Kindness Challenge, and most recently, Secrets of Sex and Marriage have sold more than 3 million copies in 25 languages and are widely read in homes, counseling centers and corporations worldwide. Find her new book, Secrets of Sex and Marriage: 8 Surprises That Make All the Difference, Shaunti Feldhahn, Dr. Michael Sytsma   Related Episodes: High & Low Libido, episode 150 Your Wonderful Female Body - Sexual Desire, episode 109   You're Invited: Keep learning with Francie! Join the Discipleship Circle group mentorship. This is a SWEET community of women, connected with the purpose of seeking God's heart for their reclaiming  a redeemed view of sex and sexuality. Inside the circle, we will explore and discover the good news about God's heart for sex. Learn more here: Discipleship Circle   Listen to Heaven in Your Home Family Music: Spotify Apple Music YouTube Connect with Francie: Receive Francie's weekly newsletter  Website Instagram

We are finishing up our Sexual Wholeness series and if you haven't been listening, make sure you go back and tune it to  some of the fantastic interviews with Shaunti Feldhahn and Dr. Michael Sytsma. We are bringing  Jay Stinger back on the podcast to help us talk about how to develop healthy sexuality in our children. We have a lot of kindred connections with Jay and we so appreciate his work.     Jay Stringer is a licensed mental health counselor, ordained minister, researcher and speaker on the subject of sexual desire. Jay is the author of the award-winning book Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing. Unwanted is based on a multi-year research project with over 3,800 men and women to understand the key drivers of unwanted sexual behavior; pornography, infidelity, or buying sex. Jay is based in New York City where he lives with his wife, Heather, and their two children.   Resources Jay recommends are listed on his Instagram bio. Next week we will be talking with one of the experts he mentions, Kristen Miele, who developed Sex Ed Reclaimed! Don't miss it.  To connect with Jay, visit the following: WEBSITE -  jay-stringer.com SOCIAL -  Instagram: jay_stringer_ Facebook: @JayStringerUnwanted Twitter: @_jaystringer   BOOK - Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing, by Jay Stringer   ========================   We LOVE that you have decided to join us this week for the Living Wholehearted Podcast. We hope you enjoyed the conversation, tips, and resources to help you transform every relationship that matters most to you. If you think this will help someone you know, make sure you send it their way or share on socials. Tag us @living_wholehearted and @terramattson! Don't forget to FOLLOW/SUBSCRIBE so you don't miss an episode and help spread the word by leaving us some stars on a review. Thanks for partnering with us to help more leaders, just like you, who want to live and lead with integrity at home, work and in the community.  Go to livingwholehearted.com and sign up to receive our free leadership tips and updates delivered to you in our monthly newsletter. And, if you are a girl mom, check out mycourageousgirls.com.   Until next time, be the leader you would follow!   Grateful for you, Jeff & Terra   To connect with Jeff & Terra Mattson and Living Wholehearted, go to:   INSTAGRAM @TerraMattson @Living_Wholehearted @MyCourageousGirls   FACEBOOK @WeAreLivingWholehearted @MyCourageousGirls   WEBSITES LivingWholehearted.com TerraMattson.com  MyCourageousGirls.com   RESOURCES Shrinking the Integrity Gap        https://davidccook.org/shrinking-integrity-gap-book/       https://a.co/d/dRiP4Ii Shrinking the Integrity Gap e-Course        https://www.livingwholeheartedstore.com/e-courses Courageous: Being Daughters Rooted in Grace       https://mycourageousgirls.com/shop/p/book-courageous-being-daughters-rooted-in-grace Dear Mattsons        https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLdPzQ_cUwCbRc-MQ40KL3a6ze06CiY38l Helping Moms Raise Confident Daughters        http://cpguides.org  

Shaunti received her graduate degree from Harvard University and was an analyst on Wall Street before unexpectedly becoming a social researcher, best-selling author and popular speaker. Today, she applies her analytical skills to investigating eye-opening, life-changing truths about relationships, both at home and in the workplace. Shaunti has written several books (including several with husband, Jeff), including For Women Only, The Kindness Challenge, Thriving in Love & Money, and the recently released Secrets of Sex & Marriage: 8 Surprises That Make All the Difference, which she coauthored with dr. Michael Sytsma. In our conversation, we talk about sexual abuse in the church and how to respond. 

Sex is one of the most common marriage issues (for example, nearly 80% of couples are mismatched in how often they want it), but it doesn't have to be that way. Listen in as we continue our talk with Dr. Michael Sytsma!

We've started a series on sexual wholeness and today we are going to continue our conversation about Secrets of Sex & Marriage: 8 Surprises That Make All The Difference. If you missed last week, make sure you check out our initial interview with Shaunti Feldhahn. Today, in our conversation with Dr. Michael Sytsma we dive deeper into the practical reality of the data and how it can inform, and maybe transform, our thinking and our attitudes about sex and our spouses. Warning, when you talk with a sex therapist, nothing is off the table! Our guest unpacks the myths and the misunderstandings around our sex lives, even debunking one of the most widely held beliefs about sex. You'll have to tune in to hear what he says!   We hope these conversations will bring some healthy doses of biblical, clinical and relational truth your way as we talk about all things sex. Dr. Michael Sytsma is an ordained minister, licensed professional counselor, certified sex therapist, professor, and national speaker. With over 30 years of clinical experience in sex therapy, he founded Building Intimate Marriages, Inc. and co-founded Sexual Wholeness, Inc. He just co-authored the book, Secrets of Sex & Marriage, with Shaunti Feldhahn (who was featured in last week's episode, #175).   To connect with Dr. Sytsma, visit: Book Website - https://secretsofsexandmarriage.com/ Twitter - https://twitter.com/drsytsma Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/buildingintimatemarriages/ Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/intimatemarriage/ Website -  https://intimatemarriage.org/   ========================   If you've got kids, join us for the Perfectly Imperfect parenting conference, Every Parent Wants to Know, hosted by Christian Parenting. We (Jeff & Terra Mattson) will be sharing  biblical and clinical wisdom as we answer the question, "How do we help our children develop healthy sexuality?". This online conference launches on April 14, but you can watch and rewatch all the videos through the end of 2023. Get your tickets here: https://www.perfectlyimperfect.org/a/2147529418/DJui8Bf6   We LOVE that you have decided to join us this week for the Living Wholehearted Podcast. We hope you enjoyed the conversation, tips, and resources to help you transform every relationship that matters most to you. If you think this will help someone you know, make sure you send it their way or share on socials. Tag us @living_wholehearted and @terramattson! Don't forget to FOLLOW/SUBSCRIBE so you don't miss an episode and help spread the word by leaving us some stars on a review. Thanks for partnering with us to help more leaders, just like you, who want to live and lead with integrity at home, work and in the community.  You can always subscribe to our monthly newsletters at livingwholehearted.com. And, if you are a girl mom, check out mycourageousgirls.com.   Until next time, be the leader you would follow!   Grateful for you, Jeff & Terra   To connect with Jeff & Terra Mattson and Living Wholehearted, go to:   INSTAGRAM @TerraMattson @Living_Wholehearted @MyCourageousGirls   FACEBOOK @WeAreLivingWholehearted @MyCourageousGirls   WEBSITES LivingWholehearted.com TerraMattson.com  MyCourageousGirls.com   RESOURCES Shrinking the Integrity Gap        https://davidccook.org/shrinking-integrity-gap-book/       https://a.co/d/dRiP4Ii Shrinking the Integrity Gap e-Course        https://www.livingwholeheartedstore.com/e-courses Courageous: Being Daughters Rooted in Grace       https://mycourageousgirls.com/shop/p/book-courageous-being-daughters-rooted-in-grace Dear Mattsons        https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLdPzQ_cUwCbRc-MQ40KL3a6ze06CiY38l Helping Moms Raise Confident Daughters        http://cpguides.org  

Today our CFL team sits down with ordained minister, licensed professional counselor, certified sex therapist, professor, and national speaker Dr. Michael Sytsma. Dr. Sytsma has over 30 years of clinical experience in sex therapy and he founded Building Intimate Marriages, Inc. He is also co-founder of Sexual Wholeness, Inc. and co-author of the book we are discussing today, "Secrets of Sex & Marriage: 8 Surprises That Make All the Difference.

In this episode James and Lisa have a conversation with Shaunti Feldhahn, co-author of the book "Secrets of Sex and Marriage." The episode tackles one of the most taboo topics in most relationships - Sex in marriage. Shaunti and her co-author, renowned sex therapist Michael Sytsma, spent three years and $120,000 on a research project involving interviewing over 5,300 people, leading to major surprises and aha moments. They identified the little things that make a big difference in making marriage sex work. The episode reveals how communication is crucial and how making people understand the differences in desire and addressing underlying issues can bring freedom and growth in a relationship. With the book designed to be read together, Shaunti believes that "Secrets of Sex and Marriage" can help couples understand each other better and feel validated. "Communication is the elephant in the room - the topic we avoid because of its awkwardness. Despite having close friends, we rarely address it with them. It's the only issue we never speak about, leading to the creation of myths and misunderstandings which guide our actions. If we don't learn to communicate with our partners, these myths will keep us from true understanding." Topics discussed:- How intimacy in marriage is the least talked-about topic- Research on the little things that make a big difference in making marriage intimacy work- Communication gaps and misunderstandings and how they impact intimacy- Understanding the differences in desire- Establishing signals or cues for willingness to engage in sexual activity- The church as a safe place for difficult conversations, and the creation of a curriculum on intimacy in marriage Resources:Schedule a Discovery Call about Marriage RebootSUBSCRIBE: NewsletterSupport the Podcast:patreon.com/ArtofSpousingOther episodes you'll enjoy:Practising the Art of SpousingGuest Resources:Websites: shaunti.com, secretsofsexandmarriage.comIG: @shauntifeldhahnFB: Shaunti FeldhahnShaunti's Books: Secrets of Sex and Marriage: 8 Surprises That Make All the Difference FOR WOMEN ONLY: What Men Think 98% of the Time: What You Need to Know about the Inner Lives of Men. What You Need to Know About How Guys Think For Men Only, Revised and Updated Edition: A Straightforward Guide to the Inner Lives of Women Thriving in Love and Money: 5 Game-Changing Insights about Your Relationship, Your Money, and Yourself Shark Tank Episode Mention in PodcastConnect with us:Send Questions and Comments to: hello@artofspousing.comWebsite: artofspousing.comFB: artofspousingIG: @artofspousingJames IG: @thejamesduvallLisa IG: @lisaduvallSUBSCRIBE ON:Apple PodcastsSpotifyGoogle PodcastsAmazon MusicArt of Spousing is edited using Descript...the all-in-one audio & video editing application.Loved this episode? Leave us a review and rating here 

Last week we discovered the overall heart-cry of many couples today. We've learned that we are not alone in our struggle, and that there is more opportunity to engage in intimacy than we give credit to! This week, we have the co-author of "Secrets of Sex and Marriage" Dr. Michael Sytsma detailing the many ways we can engage with our spouse that produces a deeper knowing of each other's soul - which results in a better sex life! Take the next 30 minutes and invest in your relationship and marriage! Book - https://secretsofsexandmarriage.com/ ABOUT DR. MICHAEL SYTSMA: Dr. Michael Sytsma has been working with couples in a variety of capacities since 1987. He is a licensed professional counselor in the state of Georgia, a Certified Sex Therapist and a Certified Professional Counseling Supervisor. He is also an ordained minister with The Wesleyan Church and has served as a staff pastor for churches with attendance from 30 to over 1000. He is currently appointed to Building Intimate Marriages, Inc. by The Wesleyan Church where he provides marriage and sex therapy and training to other professionals. Michael also cofounded Sexual Wholeness, Inc., a Christian non-profit dedicated to training, equipping, and certifying professionals in human sexuality. Michael has been married to his wife Karen since 1985. They have two sons and a daughter- in-law, Josiah, Caleb and Dinah. To learn more about Dr. Michael Sytsma, visit his website: https://intimatemarriage.org/bim-team/mike-sytsma/.   Follow Dr. Shannan Crawford: https://drshannancrawford.com/ https://crawfordclinics.com/ 

Last week we discovered the overall heart-cry of many couples today. We've learned that we are not alone in our struggle, and that there is more opportunity to engage in intimacy than we give credit to! This week, we have the co-author of "Secrets of Sex and Marriage" Dr. Michael Sytsma detailing the many ways we can engage with our spouse that produces a deeper knowing of each other's soul - which results in a better sex life! Take the next 30 minutes and invest in your relationship and marriage! Book - https://secretsofsexandmarriage.com/ ABOUT DR. MICHAEL SYTSMA: Dr. Michael Sytsma has been working with couples in a variety of capacities since 1987. He is a licensed professional counselor in the state of Georgia, a Certified Sex Therapist and a Certified Professional Counseling Supervisor. He is also an ordained minister with The Wesleyan Church and has served as a staff pastor for churches with attendance from 30 to over 1000. He is currently appointed to Building Intimate Marriages, Inc. by The Wesleyan Church where he provides marriage and sex therapy and training to other professionals. Michael also cofounded Sexual Wholeness, Inc., a Christian non-profit dedicated to training, equipping, and certifying professionals in human sexuality. Michael has been married to his wife Karen since 1985. They have two sons and a daughter- in-law, Josiah, Caleb and Dinah. To learn more about Dr. Michael Sytsma, visit his website: https://intimatemarriage.org/bim-team/mike-sytsma/.   Follow Dr. Shannan Crawford: https://drshannancrawford.com/ https://crawfordclinics.com/ 

On this episode, we are joined by Shaunti Feldhahn, Dr. Michael Sytsma to talk about their new book, Secrets of Sex and Marriage: 8 Surprises That Make All the Difference. They share some incredible research in this episode to help you and your wife have your most fulfilling sex life. Grab the book here: https://www.amazon.com/Secrets-Sex-Marriage-Surprises-Difference/dp/0764239554/?tag=shaunticom-20 ---- For all links mentioned in the episode & more XO content, visit: https://linktr.ee/nakedmarriage Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today I'm joined by Shaunti Feldhahn and Dr Michael Sytsma as we talk through their new book, Secrets of Sex and Marriage. Based on their latest research with couples, what surprised them most? What do married couples need to know about how things actually play out in marriage? And what should married couples do about our differences and similarities? Learn more about them and their work here - https://secretsofsexandmarriage.com/ Enjoy the show! Sponsors ... HoneyLove: Get 20% OFF @honeylove + Free Shipping with our promo code Passion at https://www.honeylove.com/passion #honeylovepod The post Secrets of Sex and Marriage | Shaunti Feldhahn and Dr. Michael Sytsma #616 first appeared on Sexy Marriage Radio.

Today I'm joined by Shaunti Feldhahn and Dr Michael Sytsma as we talk through their new book, Secrets of Sex and Marriage. Based on their latest research with couples, what surprised them most? What do married couples need to know about how things actually play out in marriage? And what should married couples do about our differences and similarities? Learn more about them and their work here - https://secretsofsexandmarriage.com/ Enjoy the show! Sponsors ... HoneyLove: Get 20% OFF @honeylove + Free Shipping with our promo code Passion at https://www.honeylove.com/passion #honeylovepod

Shaunti Feldhahn and professional sex therapist Dr. Michael Sytsma join Jim and John to discuss common questions that married couples ask about physical intimacy. Whether you just tied the knot, or you've been married for decades, there are bound to be questions surrounding the topic of sex -- and that's okay! (Part 2 of 2)Receive the book "Secrets of Sex & Marriage" for your donation of any amount! Plus, receive member-exclusive benefits when you make a recurring gift today. Your monthly support helps families thrive: https://donate.focusonthefamily.com/don-daily-broadcast-product-2023-03-16?refcd=1622603Get more episode resources: http://www.focusonthefamily.com/episodes/broadcast/answering-questions-about-sex-in-marriage-part-2-of-2#featured-resource-ctaIf you've listened to any of our podcasts, please give us your feedback: https://focusonthefamily.com/podcastsurvey/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Shaunti Feldhahn and professional sex therapist Dr. Michael Sytsma join Jim and John to discuss common questions that married couples ask about physical intimacy. Whether you just tied the knot, or you've been married for decades, there are bound to be questions surrounding the topic of sex -- and that's okay! (Part 1 of 2)Receive the book "Secrets of Sex & Marriage" for your donation of any amount! Plus, receive member-exclusive benefits when you make a recurring gift today. Your monthly support helps families thrive: https://donate.focusonthefamily.com/don-daily-broadcast-product-2023-03-16?refcd=1622603Get more episode resources: http://www.focusonthefamily.com/episodes/broadcast/answering-questions-about-sex-in-marriage-part-1-of-2/#featured-resource-ctaIf you've listened to any of our podcasts, please give us your feedback: https://focusonthefamily.com/podcastsurvey/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Dr. Michael Sytsma is a licensed professional counselor and certified sex therapist.  He earned a Ph.D. from the University of Georgia in Marriage and Family Therapy, and his dissertation topic was "Sexual Desire Discrepancy in Married Couples".  Dr. Sytsma has over 30 years of clinical experience in sex therapy and founded Building Intimate Marriages, Inc. and co-founded Sexual Wholeness, Inc. Dr. Sytsma is the co-author of a new book, along with Shaunti Feldhahn, entitled "Secrets of Sex & Marriage - 8 Surprises That Make All the Difference". In the research for this book Dr. Sytsma and Shaunti Feldhahn did the largest nationally representative survey ever conducted with married couples about sex.  This research, entitled "The Marriage Intimacy Project" (MIP) was conducted over the span of three years, involving a large research team, professional survery companies and several partner organiazatons to gather, analyze and organize input from more than 5,300 individuals using anonymous surveys and interviews. Through this research the authors identified eight simple, transformational factors to help move couples from disconnection to delight.  This book reveals the most importat sex-related issues for the average couple - offering workable solutions and lasting hope.  The book is not a "sex manual:, but it is a fascinating and practical field guide that will help couples more intimately understand one anohter and create the marriage they've always wanted. Please note - Tony interviewd Shaunt Feldhahm in episodes 108 & 109 of The Power of Purity Podcast is you'd like to check it out! Visit intimatemarriage.org

In a world that has jaded and obscure expectations and ideas about romance, intimacy, sex, and relationships, we wanted to break down what studies and research say about desire between married couples. Joining us again is Shaunti Feldhahn who has recently released her book, co-authored with Dr. Michael Sytsma, titled "Secrets of Sex & Marriage". Shaunti takes us through the deep heart cries of many couples from "how much sex should we be having?" to "why won't my partner initiate sex and intimacy?" to the overwhelmingly honest "am I alone in this?" Tune in next week to hear from Dr. Michael Sytsma, a licensed professional counselor, certified sex therapist, ordained minister, professor, and national speaker.   Secrets of Sex & Marriage (Book & Resources) Website | Instagram | YouTube | Faceboook   Follow Dr. Shannan Crawford: https://drshannancrawford.com/ https://crawfordclinics.com/

In a world that has jaded and obscure expectations and ideas about romance, intimacy, sex, and relationships, we wanted to break down what studies and research say about desire between married couples. Joining us again is Shaunti Feldhahn who has recently released her book, co-authored with Dr. Michael Sytsma, titled "Secrets of Sex & Marriage". Shaunti takes us through the deep heart cries of many couples from "how much sex should we be having?" to "why won't my partner initiate sex and intimacy?" to the overwhelmingly honest "am I alone in this?" Tune in next week to hear from Dr. Michael Sytsma, a licensed professional counselor, certified sex therapist, ordained minister, professor, and national speaker.   Secrets of Sex & Marriage (Book & Resources) Website | Instagram | YouTube | Faceboook   Follow Dr. Shannan Crawford: https://drshannancrawford.com/ https://crawfordclinics.com/

Dr. Michael Sytsma is a licensed professional counselor and certified sex therapist.  He earned a Ph.D. from the University of Georgia in Marriage and Family Therapy, and his dissertation topic was "Sexual Desire Discrepancy in Married Couples".  Dr. Sytsma has over 30 years of clinical experience in sex therapy and founded Building Intimate Marriages, Inc. and co-founded Sexual Wholeness, Inc. Dr. Sytsma is the co-author of a new book, along with Shaunti Feldhahn, entitled "Secrets of Sex & Marriage - 8 Surprises That Make All the Difference". In the research for this book Dr. Sytsma and Shaunti Feldhahn did the largest nationally representative survey ever conducted with married couples about sex.  This research, entitled "The Marriage Intimacy Project" (MIP) was conducted over the span of three years, involving a large research team, professional survery companies and several partner organiazatons to gather, analyze and organize input from more than 5,300 individuals using anonymous surveys and interviews. Through this research the authors identified eight simple, transformational factors to help move couples from disconnection to delight.  This book reveals the most importat sex-related issues for the average couple - offering workable solutions and lasting hope.  The book is not a "sex manual:, but it is a fascinating and practical field guide that will help couples more intimately understand one anohter and create the marriage they've always wanted. Please note - Tony interviewd Shaunt Feldhahm in episodes 108 & 109 of The Power of Purity Podcast is you'd like to check it out! Visit intimatemarriage.org

Sexual betrayal in marriage is more common than most of us would like to admit. But this terrible fracture is not incurable for couples who choose to go on a journey of healing and restoration.Our guest today is Dr. Michael Sytsma, a licensed professional counselor, ordained minister, professor, and founder of Building Intimate Marriages. In our conversation, Michael answers questions about the “why” of affairs, the impact of past trauma, the myth of affairs only occurring in “bad” marriages, how to know if restoration is possible, what is required for restoration, and more. To learn more about Michael and Building Intimate Marriages, visit IntimateMarriage.org.More Resources:Secrets of Sex and Marriage (book)Gateway to Freedom for MenWives Care GroupsRelated Podcasts:Rebuilding a Healthy Marriage After BetrayalAffair Recovery Through a Trauma LensHelping Husbands and Wives Go All In----------Please rate and review our podcast: Apple PodcastsSubscribe to our YouTube channel.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/pure-sex-radio/donations

Are you sexually "mismatched" in marriage? Do you feel like your in "drive" all the time while your spouse is in neutral (or even putting on the brakes)? Here's good news: You're likely closer than you think. Sex therapist Dr. Michael Sytsma and analyst Shaunti Feldhahn share about two types of desire, "receptive desire" and "initiating desire," and how to build a bridge between to the two. Guests: Shaunti Feldhahn & Dr. Michael Systma Show notes: Secrets of Sex and Marriage: 8 Surprises That Make All the Difference by Shaunti Feldhahn & Dr. Michael Sytsma* Dr. Sytsma's practice: Building Intimate Marriages Join Juli for Second Cup *Affiliate link. AI may earn fees.

Lots of people claim to know about what makes sex and marriage the BEST it can be, but Dr. Michael Sytsma and Shaunti Feldhahn have done one the LARGEST research studies to determine the REAL secrets of relational success! Join Shannon & Dr. Sytsma as they discuss their monumental research project and their NEW BOOK that promises to be a game-changer!

In this episode, we'll visit with Shaunti Feldhahn and Dr. Michael Sytsma, authors of the new book Secrets of Sex & Marriage about:The surprising statistics that were found in conducting research for the book.How pornography impacts the satisfaction people have with their marriage and sex.How couples work through the impact of porn to find the intimacy they desire.Advice for church leaders in using the findings of this book in their ministry.More Information/Resources:Book website: https://secretsofsexandmarriage.comShaunti's website: http://shaunti.com/Dr. Mike's website: http://intimatemarriage.org/Follow on Social Media:Shaunti:Instagram: @shauntifeldhahnFacebook: @ShauntiFeldhahnOfficialDr. Michael Sytsma:Twitter: @drsytsmaInstagram: @buildingintimatemarriagesFacebook: @IntimateMarriageCovenant Eyes offers a clear path to freedom through trusted relationships and free resources. TRY COVENANT EYES FREE FOR 30 DAYS: (Promo Code: FreePodcast) Stay up to date on the latest news and guests on The Covenant Eyes Podcast by signing up for our newsletter: https://learn.covenanteyes.com/podcast-newsletter/ Accountability, Christian, Church, Covenant Eyes, Dr. Michael Sytsma, Freedom from Porn, How to Quit Porn, Intimacy, Marriage, Ministry Leader, Pastor, Porn, Porn Addiction, Pornography, Porn Addiction Recovery, Quit Porn, Secrets of Sex and Marriage, Shaunti FeldhahnTry Covenant Eyes for FREE today!Use Promo Code: FreePodcast

When we were early in our marriage, I often said to Mark, “Sex! I could go the rest of my life without it!” And he totally believed me. True story! Needless to say, we had all kinds of challenges in that area of our marriage, and eventually, we sought out sex therapy. And it was a game-changer for us!It's no secret that sex is an important part of any marriage, but we are often hard-pressed to talk about it honestly with one another. It can be hard to find Christian resources to dig into this somewhat taboo topic, and yet it is one of the areas that can drastically impact your marriage for the better!Today, we are talking about how to get a different perspective on sex. Helping us do that is Shaunti Feldhahn and Dr. Michael Sytsma. They are the authors of a new book called Secrets of Sex & Marriage: 8 Surprises That Make All the Difference. Shaunti is a bestselling author, social researcher, speaker, and has a graduate degree from Harvard. She uses her analytical background to help relationships thrive. And Dr. Michael Sytsma is an ordained minister, licensed professional counselor, Certified Sex Therapist, professor, and national speaker.In this episode, you'll hear:How they collected information about sex and marriagesThe two primary ways desire worksWhat the true gatekeeper to having more sex isAnd more!I pray this is exactly what you are needing to hear today!Show Notes: https://jillsavage.org/feldhahn-sytsma-131

The largest nationally representative study ever conducted with married couples about sex reveals most couples have challenges due to differences. Shaunti Feldhahn and Dr. Michael Sytsma's insights help you communicate with, understand, and enjoy your spouse in every season of your marriage.  https://shaunti.com/ 

Relationship researcher Shuanti Feldhahn and renowned sex therapist Dr. Michael Sytsma have identified 8 simple, transformational factors to address the myths and reveal how common marital differences on frequency and desire truly are. Enlightening and encouraging! https://shaunti.com/ 

Feeling undesired, unattractive? Researcher Shaunti Feldhahn & sex therapist Michael Systma get real about differences in sexual desire—and how to deal. Show Notes and Resources One-year to Get Closer to Your Partner: A 500 hour journey to get closer to your partner. Listen to Shaunti Feldhahn & Dr. Michael Sytsma podcast, Married with Benefits. Find resources from this podcast at shop.familylife.com/. See resources from our past podcasts. Find more content and resources on the FamilyLife's app! Help others find FamilyLife. Leave a review on Apple Podcast or Spotify. Check out all the FamilyLife podcasts on the FamilyLife Podcast Network

If you're in a relationship and you value a sex life that is exciting and enduring, hear what our expert Dr. Michael Sytsma, experienced sex therapist and marriage researcher, has to say. His high-quality research findings are so encouraging for couples who look forward to a vibrant sex life for decades! Openness and honesty about physical intimacy plays a vital role. Did you know that there are different and equally legitimate types of sexual desire? The issues in your sex life that are frustrating you may be more resolvable than you think. Discover how and why with Dr. Mike, back with us for the third time to explain the results of his research from the book he co-authored, Secrets of Sex and Marriage.

What’s normal in bed? Researcher Shaunti Feldhahn and sex therapist Dr. Michael Systma offer tips for better, fulfilling, and connected married sex. Show Notes and Resources One-year to Get Closer to Your Partner: A 500 hour journey to get closer to your partner. Listen to Shaunti Feldhahn & Dr. Michael Sytsma podcast, Married with Benefits. Find resources from this podcast at shop.familylife.com. See resources from our past podcasts. Find more content and resources on the FamilyLife's app! Help others find FamilyLife. Leave a review on Apple Podcast or Spotify. Check out all the FamilyLife podcasts on the FamilyLife Podcast Network

When it comes to sex…what's normal? Sex therapist Dr. Michael Sytsma and Shaunti Feldhahn discuss research about drive, initiative, and other questions.

The most frequent question that brings people to our website is, "How can I make my spouse want more sex?" Research from The Intimacy Project gives some very encouraging and practical answers that will help you do just that. Dr. Carol talks with Dr. Michael Sytsma, ordained minister, licensed professional counselor, certified sex therapist, and professor about his 30 years as a sex therapist and the fascinating results of his research on married sex. You're certain to discover some ways to make your married sex life much better and more satisfying. Connect with Dr. Sytsma on his website, Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram. Find the book by Dr. Sytsma and Shaunti Feldhein Secrets of Sex and Marriage: 8 Surprises That Make all the Difference, and related resources Check out these articles on our website: - 9 Possible Reasons Your Spouse Doesn't Want to Sleep with You - Having the Sex Talk With Your Spouse If you need individualized help, check out Dr. Carol's Coaching services

We all want to have better sex lives, but it's not always easy to make that happen. Understanding the research around desire, arousal and our biology can go a long way in helping us improve our sex lives. Listen to today's show to learn some key tools and insights that will help you improve your sex life today! In this episode with Michael Sytsma, we discuss relationship advice topics that include: The different types of desires that men and women exhibit and how understanding them will improve your sex life The difference between desire and arousal and key points about both areas How to bring the art of seduction into your relationship The importance of creating a healthy connection outside of the bedroom to improve your sex life Important questions to ask your partner about sex The number 1 turn on for women according to research Creating a vision for your sex life in your relationship Navigating pain issues during sex And much more! Sponsors Like A Kitten curates adult subscription boxes created to inspire and influence female sexual wellness. Like A Kitten is offering our listeners 15% off AND free shipping when you go to LikeAKitten.com/ido OR enter code IDO at checkout. Füm helps you shake bad habits. Head to TryFum.com and use code IDO to save 10% off when you get the Journey pack today. The Journey pack comes with three unique flavors and the new Version 2 Füm to help kick start your positive habits. Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Chase & Sarah Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Science and Art of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage: An Interview with Francie Winslow, Part 2   "Therefore my people have gone into captivity, Because they have no knowledge;" Isaiah 5:13 NKJV   Questions and Topics We Discuss: Will you elaborate on the science of sex? When two become one, what has God designed to occur at a hormonal level? What is your best list of benefits that come from a husband and wife connecting sexually on a regular basis?   Jesus captured Francie's heart at a young age, and she has been on an adventure following Him since then, fueled by a love for His word and His presence.   As a young woman Francie served in Mother Theresa's home for the dying in Kolkata, sat in brothels with girls trapped in the sex trade of Chang Mai, slept in the bush of Namibia to reach tribal people and orphans with the Gospel of Jesus, visited the homes of the poor in the Dominican Republic, and helped with the rebuilding and development of a village in Sri Lanka after the 2004 tsunami.   For the past few years, Francie has been focused on writing and speaking about God's good gift of intimacy in marriage.  She's been featured on Christianity Today's blog and Moody Radio, The Don't Mom Alone Podcast, and Java with Juli, and several others as she shares about the power of sex in marriage. Most recently, she's launched a podcast called Heaven in Your Home where she talks all about sex, marriage and the mission of God.   In it all, Francie is passionate about inviting others to experience God's tangible love that has the ability to transform every area of life.      Francie has a BA in Political Science and a Masters degree in Evangelism and Leadership from Wheaton College in Wheaton, Il.  She currently lives in the suburbs of Washington DC with her six kids and husband.    Francie Winslow's Website Francie Winslow's Podcast   Episodes with Dr. Michael Sytsma on The Savvy Sauce: Ten Common Questions About Sex, Shared Through a Biblical Worldview   Enjoying a God-Honoring, Healthy Sex Life with Your Spouse   Desire DIscrepancy in Marriage with Dr. Michael Sytsma   Remaining Sexually Engaged Through the Years with Dr. Michael Sytsma (Paying Patrons Only)   At The Savvy Sauce, we will only recommend resources we believe in! We also want you to be aware: We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.    Francie's Green Superfood Recommendation   Recommended Resources to Learn about Sex: Celebration of Sex The Art of Intimate Marriage Passion Pursuit Enjoy! The Gift of Sexual Pleasure for Women Restoring the Pleasure The Married Guy's Guide to Great Sex   Additional Recommended Resources at www.thesavvysauce.com   Thank You to Our Sponsor: WinShape Marriage   Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook or Instagram or Our Website   Please help us out by sharing this episode with a friend, leaving a 5-star rating and review, and subscribing to this podcast!   Gospel Scripture: (all NIV)   Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”   Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”   Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”    Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”    Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”    Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”    John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”   Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”    Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”   Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”   Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession- to the praise of his glory.”   Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”   Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“   Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“   Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”

Sex therapist Dr. Mike Sytsma says that when a couple tells him how they kiss or how they make love, he can tell them how they interact in other areas too. Every couple has a dance‍‍–we dance around our wounds and insecurities, both inside and outside the bedroom. Don't believe it? Listen in! Guest: Dr. Michael Sytsma Show notes: Sexual Desire in Marriage (teaching series by Michael Sytsma) 5 Things You Need to Know About Women, Orgasm & Intimacy (Juli's blog) Watch Juli's 3-part video series, Why God Cares About Your Sexuality. Not an AI member? Watch the first video free.

The subject of sexuality and sexual desire in marriage brings up lots of questions. In this episode, Ron Deal interviews Dr. Michael Sytsma, a pastor and sex therapist, who talks about how to pursue the heart of intimacy with one another. You'll hear teaching on how to manage differences in sexual desire in marriage, how we can reflect who Christ is in our sexual lives, and how to form deep intimate connections in the process. Show Notes and Resources The (Nearly) Complete Guide to Better Married Sex online course Listing of Certified Christian Sex Therapists Give us a review of this show or ask us a question. We may answer it on an upcoming podcast. Call (407) 826-2606 or email BlendedQuestions@familylife.com Learn more about Blended and Blessed Live Event and Livestream Listen to previous podcasts #30 and #66 for more insight into this topic. Learn more about The Smart Stepfamily Marriage book book Links not working for you? Go to our website to get more details about this episode: https://www.familylife.com/75.

Science and Art of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage, Part 2   "Therefore my people have gone into captivity, Because they have no knowledge;" Isaiah 5:13 NKJV   Questions and Topics We Discuss: Will you elaborate on the science of sex? When two become one, what has God designed to occur at a hormonal level? What is your best list of benefits that come from a husband and wife connecting sexually on a regular basis?   Jesus captured Francie's heart at a young age, and she has been on an adventure following Him since then, fueled by a love for His word and His presence.   As a young woman Francie served in Mother Theresa's home for the dying in Kolkata, sat in brothels with girls trapped in the sex trade of Chang Mai, slept in the bush of Namibia to reach tribal people and orphans with the Gospel of Jesus, visited the homes of the poor in the Dominican Republic, and helped with the rebuilding and development of a village in Sri Lanka after the 2004 tsunami.   For the past few years, Francie has been focused on writing and speaking about God's good gift of intimacy in marriage.  She's been featured on Christianity Today's blog and Moody Radio, The Don't Mom Alone Podcast, and Java with Juli, and several others as she shares about the power of sex in marriage. Most recently, she's launched a podcast called Heaven in Your Home where she talks all about sex, marriage and the mission of God.   In it all, Francie is passionate about inviting others to experience God's tangible love that has the ability to transform every area of life.      Francie has a BA in Political Science and a Masters degree in Evangelism and Leadership from Wheaton College in Wheaton, Il.  She currently lives in the suburbs of Washington DC with her six kids and husband.    Francie Winslow's Website Francie Winslow's Podcast   Episodes with Dr. Michael Sytsma on The Savvy Sauce: Ten Common Questions About Sex, Shared Through a Biblical Worldview   Enjoying a God-Honoring, Healthy Sex Life with Your Spouse   Desire DIscrepancy in Marriage with Dr. Michael Sytsma   Remaining Sexually Engaged Through the Years with Dr. Michael Sytsma (Paying Patrons Only)   At The Savvy Sauce, we will only recommend resources we believe in! We also want you to be aware: We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.    Francie's Green Superfood Recommendation   Recommended Resources to Learn about Sex: Celebration of Sex The Art of Intimate Marriage Passion Pursuit Enjoy! The Gift of Sexual Pleasure for Women Restoring the Pleasure The Married Guy's Guide to Great Sex   Additional Recommended Resources at www.thesavvysauce.com   Thank You to Our Sponsor: WinShape Marriage   Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook or Instagram or Our Website   Please help us out by sharing this episode with a friend, leaving a 5-star rating and review, and subscribing to this podcast!   Gospel Scripture: (all NIV)   Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”   Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”   Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”    Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”    Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”    Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”    John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”   Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”    Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”   Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”   Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession- to the praise of his glory.”   Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”   Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“   Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“   Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”

When a spouse complains about their partner's level of desire for sex, there are common misunderstandings. Did you know there are different but equally valid types of sexual desire? We loved the opportunity to sit down again with Dr. Michael Sytsma (second-time guest; see also Episode 3) for a science-based and super-practical conversation largely focused on original research he conducted along with fellow researcher, Shaunti Feldhahn (we were honoured to host Shaunti on Episode 9). For example, a couple may easily misjudge that they are further apart in what they want out of their sex life than they actually are. Find out solutions to some of the common mistakes and misconceptions couples struggle with and get on with making your sex life more of what you both want it to be.

    *DISCLAIMER* This episode is intended for adults   Top 10 From 2019: #8 Enjoying a God-Honoring, Healthy Sex Life with Your Spouse with Dr. Michael Sytsma   Proverbs 5:18 NIV “May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.”    Dr. Michael Sytsma is a certified sex therapist, ordained minister, and co-founder of sexual wholeness.  Dr. Mike has been working with couples in a variety of capacities since 1987. He currently works with Building Intimate Marriages in Atlanta, GA as he meets with clients, teaches, and speaks at various conferences. He and Karen have been married since 1985 and have two sons, Josiah and Caleb.   Other Episodes with Dr. Michael Sytsma: Episode 104: Differing Sexual Desire in Marriage Episode 6: 10 Common Questions About Sex, Shared Through a Biblical Worldview (Intimacy Series)   At The Savvy Sauce, we will only recommend resources we believe in! We also want you to be aware: We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.comand affiliated sites.    Dr. Michael Sytsma's Website  Kids Night In Faith Boxes The Power of a Positive No by William Ury   Thank You to Our Sponsors: Note Card Cafe and Clearly Filtered Use Discount Code "SavvyWaterFilters" to get 20% off your first purchase. Limit 1 per customer, please :)   Just for Fun and Highly Recommended by Laura Lara Casey's Product: The Kid's Bundle (Write the Word for kids - have you seen this yet? It is awesome!!!) Lara Casey's 2020 6-months Powersheets...Not exaggerating: these are changing my life!!!    Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook or Instagram or Our Website   Please help us out by sharing this episode with a friend, leaving a 5-star rating and review, and subscribing to this podcast!   Also, check out our Patreon Page to find out how to gain access to additional podcasts and bonus goodies!   Gospel Scripture: (all NIV)   Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”   Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”   Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”    Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”    Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”    Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”    John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”   Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”    Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”   Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”   Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession- to the praise of his glory.”   Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”   Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“   Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“   Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”

*DISCLAIMER* This message contains adult themes and is not intended for little ears.   Sexual Desire Discrepancy in Marriage with Dr. Michael Sytsma   Ephesians 4:2 (NIV) “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.”    Dr. Michael Sytsma is a certified sex therapist, ordained minister, and co-founder of sexual wholeness.  Dr. Mike has been working with couples in a variety of capacities since 1987. He currently works with Building Intimate Marriages in Atlanta, GA as he meets with clients, teaches, and speaks at various conferences. He and Karen have been married since 1985 and have two sons, Josiah and Caleb.   Building Intimate Marriages Website   Thank You to Our Sponsor: Samaritan Ministries   Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook or Instagram or Our Website   Please help us out by sharing this episode with a friend, leaving a 5-star rating and review, and subscribing to this podcast!   Also, check out our Patreon Page to find out how to gain access to additional podcasts and freebies!   Just for Fun and Highly Recommended by Laura Lara Casey's Product: The Kid's Bundle (Write the Word for kids - have you seen this yet? It is awesome!!!) Lara Casey's 2020 6-months Powersheets...Not exaggerating: these are changing my life!!!    Gospel Scripture: (all NIV)   Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”   Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”   Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”    Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”    Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”    Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”    John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”   Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”    Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”   Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”   Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession- to the praise of his glory.”   Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”   Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“   Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“   Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”  

*DISCLAIMER* This episode is intended for adults   10 Common Questions About Sex, Shared Through a Biblical Worldview with Certified Sex Therapist and Pastor, Dr. Michael Sytsma   Hebrews 13:4(a) NIV “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure,”   Dr. Michael Sytsma is a certified sex therapist, ordained minister, and co-founder of sexual wholeness.  Dr. Mike has been working with couples in a variety of capacities since 1987. He currently works with Building Intimate Marriages in Atlanta, GA as he meets with clients, teaches, and speaks at various conferences. He and Karen have been married since 1985 and have two sons, Josiah and Caleb.   Dr. Michael Sytsma's Website  Recommended author on positive sentiment override: John Gottman   Thank You to Our Sponsor: Chick-fil-A East Peoria   Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook or Instagram or Our Website   Please help us out by sharing this episode with a friend, leaving a 5-star rating and review, and subscribing to this podcast!   Also, check out our Patreon Page to find out how to gain access to additional podcasts and freebies!   Gospel Scripture: (all NIV)   Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”   Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”   Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”    Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”    Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”    Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”    John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”   Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”    Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”   Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”   Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession- to the praise of his glory.”   Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”   Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“   Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“   Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”

*DISCLAIMER* There is a brief part of this message that is not intended for little ears.   Responding to God's Stirring with Elizabeth Pehrson, Founder of The Exchange   ‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭5:15-16‬ ‭(AMP‬‬) “Therefore see that you walk carefully [living life with honor, purpose, and courage; shunning those who tolerate and enable evil], not as the unwise, but as wise [sensible, intelligent, discerning people], making the very most of your time [on earth, recognizing and taking advantage of each opportunity and using it with wisdom and diligence], because the days are [filled with] evil.”   Elizabeth Pehrson wants to live in a world where her children pick up after themselves without being asked, a short order cook shows up every night to make dinner and laundry folds itself. As a mom of eight children - ages 19,18,17,15,14,13,11 and 8, she thrives on coffee and chaos and she is energized by people. She is married to her best friend, David, also known as the most patient man in the world!  She loves investing in women.  When she is not taking care of her small army, her flock of chickens and her two dogs, you can find her fishing on a lake. Elizabeth is founder of The Exchange, which is a monthly gathering that seeks to inspire women to live on purpose and with intention.  You can reach her at empehrson@gmail.com.    At The Savvy Sauce, we will only recommend resources we believe in! We also want you to be aware: We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.comand affiliated sites.    The Best Yes by Lysa TerKeurst Frientimacy by Shasta Nelson Draw the Circle: 40 Day Devotional by Mark Batterson Ask It by Andy Stanley The Exchange Website    Thank You to Our Sponsors: ChewbeadsEnter code “SAVVY” at checkout to enjoy 15% off your order!   Thank you to Our Other Sponsor: Night In Boxes Order your box here!   Previous episodes with Dr. Michael Sytsma: 10 Common Questions About Sex, Shared Through a Biblical Worldview Enjoying a God-Honoring, Healthy Sex Life with Your Spouse   Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook or Instagram or Our Website   Please help us out by sharing this episode with a friend, leaving a 5-star rating and review, and subscribing to this podcast!   Also, check out our Patreon Page to find out how to gain access to additional podcasts and freebies!   Gospel Scripture: (all NIV)   Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”   Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”   Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”    Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”    Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”    Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”    John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”   Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”    Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”   Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”   Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession- to the praise of his glory.”   Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”   Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“   Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“   Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”

*DISCLAIMER* This episode is intended for adults   Enjoying a God-Honoring, Healthy Sex Life with Your Spouse with Certified Sex Therapist and Ordained Minister, Dr. Michael Sytsma   Proverbs 5:18 NIV “May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.”    Dr. Michael Sytsma is a certified sex therapist, ordained minister, and co-founder of sexual wholeness.  Dr. Mike has been working with couples in a variety of capacities since 1987. He currently works with Building Intimate Marriages in Atlanta, GA as he meets with clients, teaches, and speaks at various conferences. He and Karen have been married since 1985 and have two sons, Josiah and Caleb.   At The Savvy Sauce, we will only recommend resources we believe in! We also want you to be aware: We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.comand affiliated sites.    Dr. Michael Sytsma's Website  Kids Night In Faith Boxes The Power of a Positive No by William Ury   Thank You to Our Sponsor: WinShape Marriage   Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook or Instagram or Our Website   Please help us out by sharing this episode with a friend, leaving a 5-star rating and review, and subscribing to this podcast!   Gospel Scripture: (all NIV)   Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”   Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”   Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”    Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”    Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”    Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”    John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”   Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”    Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”   Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”   Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession- to the praise of his glory.”   Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”   Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“   Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“   Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”  

*DISCLAIMER* This episode is intended for adults   10 Common Questions About Sex, Shared Through a Biblical Worldview With Certified Sex Therapist and Pastor, Dr. Michael Sytsma   Hebrews 13:4(a) NIV “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure,”   Dr. Michael Sytsma is a certified sex therapist, ordained minister, and co-founder of sexual wholeness.  Dr. Mike has been working with couples in a variety of capacities since 1987. He currently works with Building Intimate Marriages in Atlanta, GA as he meets with clients, teaches, and speaks at various conferences. He and Karen have been married since 1985 and have two sons, Josiah and Caleb.   Dr. Michael Sytsma's Website  Recommended author: John Gottman   Thank You to Our Sponsor: Leman Property Management Company   Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook or Instagram or Our Website   Please help us out by sharing this episode with a friend, leaving a 5-star rating and review, and subscribing to this podcast!   Gospel Scripture: (all NIV)   Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”   Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”   Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”    Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”    Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”    Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”    John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”   Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”    Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”   Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”   Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession- to the praise of his glory.”   Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”   Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“   Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“   Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”