Midlifing

Send us a textLee and Simon talk about a moral conundrum: whether we ought to follow the wishes of the dead or that we owe more to those who remain alive.  Things covered: video calls and the future, Blake and Jerusalem, Simon dancing in Dorset, Helen Poynor, transformative art, Jefrey infected by another dog (Lola), Lee practising looking up, Simon has a moral conundrum about following the wishes of the dead or taking care of the living, giving people the option, Simon's feeling about honouring the wishes of the dead, the emotional intelligence of Lee's dad (Norman), Lee's grandad was a wheelwright, not falling out over a wheelbarrow, sentimentality, being clear or not.Get in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net. ---The Midlifing logo is adapted from an original image by H.L.I.T: https://www.flickr.com/photos/29311691@N05/8571921679 (CC BY 2.0)

Send us a textLee and Simon talk about changing their minds about things that matter, and finding compassion.Things covered: scent update and the feeling of clean fresh skin, schoolboy French, 'believing' in climate change, scepticism without an object, anthropogenic climate change, changing your mind, perspectives changing through what we read (or not), Lee's binary nature, dancing the flick switch, changing in time, Lee's beliefs re trans bodies, Derrida (again), post-structuralism, gender performativity, fixed positions, allyship, we are human doings not human beings, being changed by theory, the extent to which education changes or transforms us, beliefs and facts, seatbelt use, cultural change through legislation, theoretical paradigms, overestimating the impact of the academy and conversations that spill out from the academy, Judith Butler and trans bodies, woke narratives, wokeness, not voicing disagreement, arguing doesn't change minds, finding compassion. Get in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net. ---The Midlifing logo is adapted from an original image by H.L.I.T: https://www.flickr.com/photos/29311691@N05/8571921679 (CC BY 2.0)

Send us a textLee and Simon discuss scent profiles and the ways bodies smell. Things covered: jam donut focaccia, waking up early, cli-fi (climate fiction), The Deluge by Stephen Markley, description of a suicide bomber's body (from the inside) at the moment of detonation, Simon's scent profile, delving into the olfactory, not showering often, bottom hygiene, Crocodile Dundeee and two dunnies, armpit sweating while emailing, clothes shopping, wedding anniversaries, tolerating Lee, Lee blending scents (again), getting a window replaced in a property built in 1540, Lee living in a boarded up house (I Am Legend), Lee has a little spritz, Simon not wanting to spend his money on scents, Lee's sensitivity to the malodorous, Lee speaking to the Board of Governors, GANs (General Adversarial Network), AI (and machine learning), and artists using AI, Lee is not a pizza and beer man, body odour, an unwashed person, pheromones and being turned off by how someone smells, sniffing Bob, Simon needs a shower, releasing scents on the equinox and the solstice, Lee is correct. Get in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net. ---The Midlifing logo is adapted from an original image by H.L.I.T: https://www.flickr.com/photos/29311691@N05/8571921679 (CC BY 2.0)

Send us a textLee and Simon discuss furniture and curated maximalism (obviously Lee does most of the talking here), and chronic pain.Things covered: the excitement of countdowns, Lee goes to a wine festival, how many Beatles are left, whether the Beatles voted or not, the trailer for Sinners, Hitchcock's "The Birds" (and its soundtrack), spring cleaning, Swedish death cleaning, various style magazines, curated maximalism, being judged when people come into your home, Lee running his hands along the walls because they are so smooth, Simon's boss is a hoarder, moving buildings at work, two half empty apartments, formica tables, Lee's new sofa, Lee being ashamed of his shallowness, Simon being aescetic, Lee running the world from his bed (like Trump), Trump's alleged golden showers, the sofa as the public facing comfort space, Antonio Citterio, the bigness of TVs, getting out of bed and back pain, putting your socks on while standing, 40 years of back 'stuff', getting used to chronic pain, rotation about the longitudinal axis, the word 'curation' makes Simon gip, Elle Decoration and Vogue.Get in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net. ---The Midlifing logo is adapted from an original image by H.L.I.T: https://www.flickr.com/photos/29311691@N05/8571921679 (CC BY 2.0)

Send us a textSimon and Lee talk about metaphors and the tragedy of how poetry is taught, before discussing three truisms from Anthony de Mello.Things covered: the bell is tolling, true words said in jest, many a slip between cup and lip, not understanding metaphors, being literal, not liking poetry while really liking poetry, the meaning of poetry, Kae Tempest, Lee having an ugly cry at the traffic lights, Simon sneezes, all the Latin Simon and Lee know, the sweetness of dying for your country, Wilfred Owen, nationalism and nation states, Lee recites Owen's "Dulce et Decorum Est", Siegfried Sassoon, the Reform party in the UK, Anthony de Mello's "Awareness", returning love for hate, including the excluded, admitting you are wrong, turning the other cheek (Jesus during Sermon on the Mount), Wikipedia and academic research, Lee definitely married up, the unfettered unfiltered version of Lee, the reason to continue podcasting. Get in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net. ---The Midlifing logo is adapted from an original image by H.L.I.T: https://www.flickr.com/photos/29311691@N05/8571921679 (CC BY 2.0)

Send us a textSimon and Lee talk about things they love.Things covered: back in Blighty, the nature of home, putting down roots, having multiple passports (Jason Bourne), freedivers, things we love, what Lee is wearing (again), being self-conscious (or not) about the things we wear, being policed and judged, tortilla covered sourdough, Lee loves perfume and smelling good, layering perfumes, clothes or scent, Dubai chocolate, cookie mix floor tiles, negronis, spending time with friends outside, being social, Simon loves stillness, Stansted Airport, a bus trip to Coventry, TikTok, three hours swiping, the absence of boredom and over-stimulation, Simon's yin phase, two different looks in two different countries, Coventry after dark. Get in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net. ---The Midlifing logo is adapted from an original image by H.L.I.T: https://www.flickr.com/photos/29311691@N05/8571921679 (CC BY 2.0)

Send us a textSimon and Lee discuss the way age starts not to manner (as we get older), the absurdity of reducing friction in our lives, and then have a quick conversation about Adolescence. Things covered: Buona Pasqua, Lee's raw early morning voice, the true reason for buying a house, Lee's Dad's 84th birthday, the cost of a pint of Guiness, the way age starts not to matter, eating only the inside of a cake, Lee's vowels, BBQ Norman, Lee's Mum's spreadsheet, buying a storage cupboard to lead a frictionless life, kitchens as a place of work, Sassari apartment update (more about the floors), other languages (and the limits of vocabulary), Adolescence, misogyny. Get in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net. ---The Midlifing logo is adapted from an original image by H.L.I.T: https://www.flickr.com/photos/29311691@N05/8571921679 (CC BY 2.0)

Send us a textSimon reports in (once again) from Sardegna while attempting to buy a kitchen and the question of consent raises its head again. Lee and Simon also discuss Simon's lack of sartorial elegance. Things covered: marble floors and empty walls, buying a kitchen, 3D models of kitchens, discounts, putting washing machines in kitchens, boring jobs, sharing news over a negroni, descriptions of spaces in another language, asking for consent in Portughese, another leak in Lee's roof, climate change being real, imagining things (and bodies) in spaces, big cultural shifts, fritelle, the beginning of the end, trying to remove marble from a wall, bumping into friends on the street, having one's arm squeezed by a stranger, not being very dapper in an Italian city, Lee being a little more handsy than he thinks he is (on a train), Winnie-the-Pooh (and wanting to be sure of you), Simon is not dapper and Lee tries to give him some sartorial advice. Get in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net. ---The Midlifing logo is adapted from an original image by H.L.I.T: https://www.flickr.com/photos/29311691@N05/8571921679 (CC BY 2.0)

Send us a textSimon reports in from Sardegna before Lee and he veer off into talking about what draws us to snake oil. Things covered: Getting the sound right while recording in a 'cathedral', flight delay, the mundanity of owning a place, Nodi networking function in Alghero, bumping back into Italian, experiences that are both concrete and abstract, dealing with uncertainty, meeting a life-coach, snake-oil, "l'aria fritta" (fried air), what draws us to people selling fried air, having one's buttons pushed over and over again, Sardegna drawing in a dreamcatcher vibe, homemade brick oven and making pizze, primal human experiences, cranio-sacral massages, gong showers (sound baths), golden showers, people talking (or not) about their kinks, piss play, more prevalent than us vanillas, lacking imagination (or perhaps theory of mind), Portishead, Beth Gibbons (singing Gorecki Symphony 3), how to be introduced into something we didn't use to like (e.g. yoga for Lee), the things we end up doing and believing, jam cocktail (listener feedback), unattributed quote from last week to George Saunders' commencement speech (in the links below).  --- Related links (and necessary corrections): Beth Gibbons singing Górecki's Symphony No. 3 (not number 5): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-YlGYxCSDJUGeorge Saunders' commencement speech at Syracuse: https://genius.com/George-saunders-graduation-speech-at-syracuse-2013-annotated Get in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net. ---The Midlifing logo is adapted from an original image by H.L.I.T: https://www.flickr.com/photos/29311691@N05/8571921679 (CC BY 2.0)

Send us a textSimon and Lee don't talk about Adolescene (yet), spend way too long discussing Reacher (again), before discussing whether we become kinder with age. Things covered: Lee guesses Adolescence, finishing off the Reacher series (and just how bad it is), reading all the Reacher novels, trying to remember Duffy's name from Reacher, the Yankees and the Redsox, Stephen Tin Tin Duffy, founding member of Duran Duran (Lee reads out a bunch of stuff from wikipedia), not talking about Deliverance, becoming kinder with age (or not), a Rolodex, intransigence, Lee's parents getting kinder to Bob and the first time they met her, becoming more ourselves, being comfortable acknowledging our struggles, forgetting people's names, growing into ourselves, getting kinder to ourselves, watching people die, the sense of being connected and part of the human race, the desire to be happy. Get in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net. ---The Midlifing logo is adapted from an original image by H.L.I.T: https://www.flickr.com/photos/29311691@N05/8571921679 (CC BY 2.0)

Send us a textSimon and Lee talk about the relevance and irrelevance of age as precipitated by a Simple Minds song.  Things covered: Opening a can of beer, being taken out for lunch by a former PhD student, Noble Rot (Lambs Conduit, London), Reacher (the TV show), Anthony Michael Hall (The Breakfast Club), aging and looking aged, Lee and Andrew Child's 'In Too Deep', jumping the shark (again), The Chills, the Dunedin sound, Lee in Portugal again after a heavy pour, Finn and Sophie's visit to Coventry, Simple Minds' 'Don't You Forget About Me', having children versus not having children and the progression of time, not seeing people for a long time, cheque books, very short think pieces on TikTok, Gen X transitioning across so many different media types, Napster, Simon's upcoming visit to Italy, Negroni O'Clock, an empty apartment, a "preventino" or quote for renovation, getting a quote is different from a marriage proposal, Simon going to an online funeral (again) -- the death of his Aunt Adrienne Nolan (RIP).Get in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net. ---The Midlifing logo is adapted from an original image by H.L.I.T: https://www.flickr.com/photos/29311691@N05/8571921679 (CC BY 2.0)

Send us a textSimon almost got hit by a hearse and as a consequence Lee and Simon discuss the nature of stress.  Things covered: Taking risks on a bike, where humans feel stress, noticing being stressed, degrees of stress, the difference between stress and anxiety, Simon not having headaches, migraines, difference limens, Simon has a panic attack during an Italian lesson, shame and disappointment, Jefrey gives Australian and New Zealand cuisine an 8, Lee on a high with the Falmouth Postgraduate conference, Lee wears his home-knitted scarf, Lee's knitting tension is gorgeous, Lee exceeding expectations (more knitting stuff), becoming expert at things, managing self-expectations, Lee's urge to be liked (food related this time), scrapping out a jam jar, cows with names produce more milk, Lee knitting throughout the entire conversation, Lee going to high-level meetings, advertising for knitting, finding strategies for coping, Lee's first week out of Instagram and just how good it is. Get in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net. ---The Midlifing logo is adapted from an original image by H.L.I.T: https://www.flickr.com/photos/29311691@N05/8571921679 (CC BY 2.0)

Send us a textLee and Simon talk about things that bother them about themselves and learning to live with them. Things covered: Apple iCloud shared accounts and how shit they are, a ladybird backflip a la Jackie Chan, ladybugs, speaking all Northern, living in Lancaster, Blackpool, depressed British seaside towns, PIGS acronym (Portugal, Italy, Greece, Spain), Bob and Lee's ladybirds experience, finding out what ladybirds taste like, Torch Song Trilogy, the difference between hardware and software, knitting stick count in, Simon getting high on his own (bread) supply, Oliver Burkeman's Meditation for Mortals, learning to live with the the things that bother them, people pleasing, Totnes street folk singer who hates Lee, Lee sounding a bit more unhinged, chaos in the world of Bob and Lee (and singing a Christmas Carol), Bob and Lee teaching with Henry and William (their dogs at the time), performing "like me", pay them bitches no mind, self-absorption, Simon's clunking dogging him until he dies, Antipodeans going overseas to see the world (their big OE), risky humour in Turkey, the line between getting it right and getting it very wrong, squaring ourselves with ourselves, being aspirational, human beings recognising their shapes, saying goodbye. Get in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net. ---The Midlifing logo is adapted from an original image by H.L.I.T: https://www.flickr.com/photos/29311691@N05/8571921679 (CC BY 2.0)

Send us a textLee and Simon talk about things in life that are abstract and concrete, some things about Lee's knitting, freedom of thought and action, being happy in difficult times.Things covered: Being homeowners, sliding doors, pocket doors, porta a libero (bifold door), talking about futures (all part of an apartment update), a(nother) knitting update (including the possibility of a knitted onesie), ribbing (more knitting), Lee reaches clickety-clackety on the pearl stitch but is not through the first series yet, counting stitches and losing track, hurt people hurt people, a sin is thought is as bad as a sin in action, freedom of thought and action (Alegre's Freedom to Think), marks made on the body, a bit of chatGPT action, Alan Carr's "Chatty Man", lining the pockets of another tech billionaire, pushback on the term "male privilege", Derridean deconstructions, Lee getting angry at billionaires (again), being happy in difficult times. Get in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net. ---The Midlifing logo is adapted from an original image by H.L.I.T: https://www.flickr.com/photos/29311691@N05/8571921679 (CC BY 2.0)

Send us a textLee and Simon talk about songs that make them dance (or not in Lee's case).Things covered: an Oliver Spencer jacket, body size, Simon's nickname "Snogglegrass", having brothers, David Byrne's American Utopia (by Spike Jonze), I Zimbra by David Byrne, songs that make you dance, songs that make you sing, songs that make you cry, Nina Simone's "Don't Smoke in Bed", Sarah Bareilles "Once Upon Another Time", Elbow "Build A Rocket Boys!", searching for pitch, Lee banging his head three times, the feeling of longing for the things we can't do, Cyndi Lauper's "Time After Time", a printer stuck in Depeche Mode (joke), being Depeche Mode fans (or not), Depeche Mode's fanbase, Duran Duran "The Reflex!" lip sync competition in 1986, being popular (or not), having too much fun (and not being shamed), dance like nobody's watching, singing to musicals, Hamilton, Lee's wonky shoulder, Lee's knitting update (a woolen tanktop), apartment owning update, happy endings.--- Correction:David Byrne's American Utopia is a Spike Lee film not a Spike Jonze film.Get in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net. ---The Midlifing logo is adapted from an original image by H.L.I.T: https://www.flickr.com/photos/29311691@N05/8571921679 (CC BY 2.0)

Send us a textLee and Simon have a conversation about moral compromises. Things covered: knitting update, Simon's management training (difficult conversations), adult egos, being able to express emotions clearly, being compromised (morally) at work, being party to more privileged information, safe spaces, being responsibility for things that are bigger than me, the compromises of undergraduate recruitment, Simon's previous job at (Toe)Roehampton, working at a sausage factory, being a dream killer, different aptitudes, Jimi Hendrix story about not making it, thinking critically, survival at what costs?, selling shit versus helping people, Simon's compromise in supporting PhD dance students, medical update from Simon and his encounters with the National Health Service, (and is back on butter?).Get in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net. ---The Midlifing logo is adapted from an original image by H.L.I.T: https://www.flickr.com/photos/29311691@N05/8571921679 (CC BY 2.0)

Send us a textSimon shows up late so Lee bangs on fabulously. But then they talk about how much time we spend in our bodies (versus in our heads) and whether it's possible to spend too much time (in our bodies).Things covered: Lee gets going by himself while waiting for Simon to show up (late), if only dogs could talk, Saturday Night Live, Lee failed to plug in his microphone (up until 06:50mins), needing a checklist and checking them off, Heaven songs, spending time in your body, spending too much time in your body, what it means to be 'in your body', different from using your body, physical labour, noticing your body from the inside as opposed to how your body looks, Simon agrees with himself, over sensitivity to what is going on in your body, a joke coming down the pike (not masturbation), paying too much attention to one's self and to others (say when someone is walking towards you), sensitivity to others when teaching, when we are aware of our bodies, Lee's impinged neck nerve, ibuprofen, Lee spending a lot of time ranking things (in his job), Simon sitting on a ball all day, more on consent and yoga (it really happened), the problem of not spending enough time in our bodies, not having computers in meetings, getting rid of desks and chairs, sending emails during meetings, Dilit school in Rome (and the choreography of chairs).Get in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net. ---The Midlifing logo is adapted from an original image by H.L.I.T: https://www.flickr.com/photos/29311691@N05/8571921679 (CC BY 2.0)

Send us a textLee and Simon talk about becoming experts (in knitting), reducing screentime and nostalgia for things we have never experienced. Warning: episode includes SPOILERS for the film Conclave.Things covered: Knitting update from Lee, maintaining the intensity of a hobby, well-being and knitting, novices, expertise and thinking, changing sides while teaching a dance class, being the best in a (yoga) class, the slowness of learning a new skill, Lee being a slow study, knitting becoming a meditation, being distracted from stress, much less screentime, knitting in bed, spending less time on our phones is a really good thing, using a phone to talk to people, anemoia, millenials being nostalgic for the time before smartphones existed, how rare videos were in the 1990s, our conversations were not recorded, audio recording from 1977 of watching Star Wars at the cinema, the complexity of growing up with smartphones, Lee watched Conclave (his homework) -- WARNING spoilers included (but not written here), Gabrielle Eastwood-Ellis as a woman in the Catholic Church, Lee finds a new Chicken Restaurant, being a chicken in Portugal, many restaurants at the bottom of Bob and Lee's road in Portugal, gentrification, Simon participates in a yoga class, consent to touch in a yoga class. Get in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net. ---The Midlifing logo is adapted from an original image by H.L.I.T: https://www.flickr.com/photos/29311691@N05/8571921679 (CC BY 2.0)

Send us a textLee and Simon go on a typically chaotic ride that is tricky to summarise other than they catch up. Just read below.Things covered: Lee takes up knitting, the latest on Mark Zuckerberg, Badly Drawn Boy's Pissing in the Wind, Lee's knitting sticks, reducing screen time, finding a hobby that isn't reading, Lee's year of not buying anything, Simon's recording mishap, screentime by proxy, finger knitting, Lee travelling the globe (Portugal) in a mini-van, taking knitting needles on a plane, Hannibal Lecter, dog muzzles, Simon saw two films with John Lithgow (Footloose, Conclave) and Lee guesses the first very quickly, The World According to Garp, The Adventures of Buckaroo Bonzai, the overlap in Simon and Lee's taste, Conclave (no spoilers), David Lynch's death and his films, Lee remembers Victoria Wood's death, Eraserhead, The Elephant Man, Ecosia (search engine), changing which side of the bed you sleep on, lying on top of Bob, body temperature, people with English as a second language, true facts, no content at the 23min mark, Lil's Permesso di soggiorno, three suitcases full of cash in Sardegna, there's many a slip between cup and lip, not gifting the suitcases, man with a van, how best to get stuff from Coventry to Sassari (and the emotional implications), paying customs, Brexit, not having two of everything and doing it all in one fell swoop, one's forever home, second-hand things, number of phone pickups a day, not even real bodies, Tim Cook paying $1m to Donald Trump's inauguration, Elon (doesn't get a mention), knitting for weeks, touching dough too much when you are learning.Get in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net. ---The Midlifing logo is adapted from an original image by H.L.I.T: https://www.flickr.com/photos/29311691@N05/8571921679 (CC BY 2.0)

Send us a textLee and Simon continue their conversation with Matthew Onarheim-Smith about his experiences of depression.Apologies for Simon's mic level.Things covered: Agency and depression, ketamine treatment (not officially approved for depression), the patterns of depression, combined with talk therapy, failure, shame and hope, Thich Naht Hahn and hope, out of body experiences, living with depression (or chronic pain), acceptance, Uroskolen, bringing yourself to the feelings you want to run away from, the narratives we tell ourselves, not being our thoughts, others hearing our stories, buying into our personal stories, seeking help, interbeing, despair that is shared, not knowing the feeling (of depression), seeking solitude, Matthew's generosity and gentility, how best to help, more on seeking help. --- Related links (and necessary corrections): coping with depression: https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/self-help/tips-and-support/cope-with-depression/Self-care for depression: https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/depression/self-care/Mental Health Foundation: https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/explore-mental-health/a-z-topics/depressionmen and depression: https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/explore-mental-health/a-z-topics/men-and-mental-healthMatthew's "Moving Dad" YouTube channel: https://youtube.com/@amovingdad1310Matthew's "Moving Dad" Instagram channel: https://www.instagram.com/amovingdadUroskolen https://www.uroskolen.no/Get in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net. ---The Midlifing logo is adapted from an original image by H.L.I.T: https://www.flickr.com/photos/29311691@N05/8571921679 (CC BY 2.0)

Send us a textLee and Simon bring on their first ever (official) guest – Matthew Onarheim-Smith – to talk about his experiences of depression.Apologies for Simon's mic level.Things covered: Introducing Matthew Onarheim-Smith, Quick by Shona McCullagh, annoying songs, driving with Simon, flirting with depression, entering the conversation with a plan of what to discuss, having a relationship with depression, not feeling good and recognising something is wrong, sound trauma in Vienna, tinnitus, stress as a destabiliser, feeling free, the sensation of depression, thought loops and identifying with those thoughts, Uroskolen (the angst school), courage in discussing depression, shame and stigma, gender and shame, Lee making ginger-bread and going to bed early, Trevor Noah, ADHD and being raised by women, Bette Midler and talking about me, resistance to discussing depression, suicidal ideation, NZ men, dance as a place inhabited mostly by women, men bonding by sharing an activity, showing weaknesses and flaws, dancing for Shona Dunlop-McTavish (and the fertility dance), the feeling of talking about depression.--- Related links (and necessary corrections): coping with depression: https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/self-help/tips-and-support/cope-with-depression/Self-care for depression: https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/depression/self-care/Mental Health Foundation: https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/explore-mental-health/a-z-topics/depressionmen and depression: https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/explore-mental-health/a-z-topics/men-and-mental-healthMatthew's "Moving Dad" YouTube channel: https://youtube.com/@amovingdad1310Matthew's "Moving Dad" Instagram channel: https://www.instagram.com/amovingdadUroskolen https://www.uroskolen.no/Get in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net. ---The Midlifing logo is adapted from an original image by H.L.I.T: https://www.flickr.com/photos/29311691@N05/8571921679 (CC BY 2.0)

Send us a textLee and Simon catch up a bit before Lee discusses having his testicles scanned. Yes. Scanned. Things covered: Waking up from a nap, staying up late, snow on the ground, 2025, Lee has visitors from Alice Springs, the size of Alice Springs, Alice Sings (a choir), Simon spoiling a surprise party, baby in the house, Lee's nextdoor neighbour Jill, time keeps on ticking, Lee has a lump on his testicles and had them scanned, man-sized tissues, the NHS, Finn needs to check his balls (men aged 17-35), Lil makes an appearance, testicular cancer, the machinations of a testicular scan, superficial lumps, Lee's history with problematic balls, epididymitis, varicocele, making jokes when anxious, Lee is fine, self-diagnosis, epididymal cyst, the diagnosis, manual palpation, hospital in Ashburton, who we turn to or call when we are sick (and/or scared). Get in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net. ---The Midlifing logo is adapted from an original image by H.L.I.T: https://www.flickr.com/photos/29311691@N05/8571921679 (CC BY 2.0)

Send us a textLee and Simon talk about being sensitive (or not) to others and Lee had a conversation with his Dad about politics (spoiler: changing what we watch and read changes what we think and believe). Things covered: Queen at Live Aid (1985), Lee has been having a lot of fun, Simon is not a big drinker, Simon and Lil's cocktail phase, Gimlets, Lee helping the Portuguese government (not really), having fun vicariously, Queen being big in Italy, Pink Floyd, I don't like mondays, Bob Geldof, Happy Salmon, Do They Know It's Christmas "documentary", Midge Ure, Boomtown Rats, The Golden Girls, Sting's haircut in Band Aid, films with "gold" in the title, sneezing then blowing your nose, covering your mouth when your cough (or not), what we did and didn't learn from the pandemic, bodily policing, our capacity to be sensitive to others, Lee's Dad's politics, bootstrapping, first-hand evidence, Socialism, Lee reading Marx to his Dad, Norman's media diet has changed, changing what we watch and listen to changes the way we see the world, flaming aetheism, Darth Vader giving Lee a car, Lee "Strident" Miller, turning their frowns upside down, Happy New Year!Get in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net. ---The Midlifing logo is adapted from an original image by H.L.I.T: https://www.flickr.com/photos/29311691@N05/8571921679 (CC BY 2.0)

Send us a textLee and Simon enter the Christmas spirit by discussing fart walking. Simon reads Lee a brief story, they discuss a plan to move things and Lee has an airport encounter. Things covered: Determination to continue, Simon being a Christmas grinch, saying Happy Solstice, putting clothes down in different rooms, Lee in Portugal (hence poppy microphone), fart walking, Bob Whalley's suggestions (and drunken guest appearance), flight attendants' crop dusting, David Sedaris stories (sadness and meanness), not talking to people on airplanes, post-prandial walks, reading a (bread) story to Lee, the song of sourdough, Simon has a follower (no that's not right, it's Lil), physical (analogue) emojis, getting stuff (and what stuff) from Coventry to Sardegna, the first item on a list, emptying your pockets as you go through security, Lee gets a pat down in airport security, back to back meetings in full sun, the tupperware container sky in the UK, a Friends episode (doing things slowly = sexier), airport feedback, smelly toilets (which is how they are supposed to be), Bob asking L&S to do ASMR, cooking for guests in Lisbon, porridge cooked overnight, Bob and Lee going to a restaurant for Christmas. Get in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net. ---The Midlifing logo is adapted from an original image by H.L.I.T: https://www.flickr.com/photos/29311691@N05/8571921679 (CC BY 2.0)

Send us a textLee and Simon talk about their bodily 'tells' regarding stress, then digress into a conversation about fashion before a surprise guest appearance. Things covered: A bodily tic and noticing habits, lip balm, Jon Kabat-Zinn "we are being breathed", work stress, breath, holding back tears, trait anxiety and recipes for heart attacks, Bob's stressors are different, the stress of travelling (and leading up to travelling), airports being designed to bring out the worst in people, Lee's new blue headphones, Simon being able to hear himself, replacing the battery on Bose headphones for £200, "Buy Now" documentary (Netflix), e-waste, Karl Marx and deskilling the work force, Lee's new Payntr Harris Twead overcoat, Boglioli Milano, Loewe electronics and Loewe spanish fashion hour, Lee not buying anything again, unnecessary food, Percy Pigs, Simon's Marshmallow Test failings, the resources required to produce 'junk' food, Tony's Chocolonely chocolate, Bob Whalley makes a guest appearance (at remove, lean in to hear) and comes up with a suggestion or three for next week's episode, plus mukbanging and fart walking.Get in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net. ---The Midlifing logo is adapted from an original image by H.L.I.T: https://www.flickr.com/photos/29311691@N05/8571921679 (CC BY 2.0)

Send us a textLee and Simon start with a bit of follow-up before droping into a conversation about human resources and being in conversations that are not what we think they are. Things covered: Lee sings Simon a song, some follow up re Simon's TikTok job, IBAN numbers, foreign exchange trading, Irene Miller's FX chops, why Irene passed out last week (fanmail from Midlifing's resident Doctor Corbetron), Strictly Come Dancing research, anger at Bruce Forsyth, BBC spending money on EDI agenda, OfCom, Candoco Dance Company, human resources, Scooby Doo, Wayne's World, paradigm shifts (see link below), sending emails while naked, legal arse covering, Lee running a little hot, body temperature in general, Lee's contradictions, lighthouse keepers, embarrassing climb-downs, showering with a t-shirt on just in case, colleagues who you have never met, mandatory training at work, PREVENT training, radicalisation, intimacy co-ordination, Simon zipping up, interoception land, Simon's internet broke.--- Related links (and necessary corrections): Ship vs lighthouse paradigm shift: https://www.deseret.com/2023/12/14/23953259/paradigm-shift-families-faith/Get in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net. ---The Midlifing logo is adapted from an original image by H.L.I.T: https://www.flickr.com/photos/29311691@N05/8571921679 (CC BY 2.0)

Send us a textSimon meets up with an old academic friend and it sparks a conversation between Lee and Simon about having a plan B (which might involve collaborating with TikTok). Things covered: Lee's Apple Watch, meeting a proper academic, having a Plan B, going to the cinema, doxing, a letter from TikTok, content moderation, PTSD from content moderation, generating dance content, Lee's grant winning capabilities, Bob and Lee's Plan B (involves houses), Lee's Mum's hospital visit, real midlifing content, Lee's Mum's health, the Silent Generation, clown face emoji, silly cows (gendered), passing out in the bathroom, "my knickers my knickers" (and having a cold butt on the floor), stories from Lee's parents being necessary for Midlifing, memories (and things) from our parents (including from a distance), the 'fixing' and solidity of parents, grief. Get in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net. ---The Midlifing logo is adapted from an original image by H.L.I.T: https://www.flickr.com/photos/29311691@N05/8571921679 (CC BY 2.0)

Send us a textAfter keeping some content in his pocket for some time Lee springs a question on Simon about touch and fondness. Things covered: Simon being able to move bodies, Lee's content about touch and fondness, Lee's love for Jefrey, consent, touch being less appropriate, because HR, Simon's dance training and making contact with people all the time, newborns who are not held, Simon asking a PhD student to touch them, things gained and lost regarding consent, dropping a consent grenade, Simon touching people far less than he used to, Lee's actor training and feeling emotions in and through the body, third eye, root chakra, third eye blind, a hangover from being a fat kid, deep insecurity about one's body, Simon hugging male cousins in NZ, the rigidity of make hugs, the back pat, not to be the first person to leave the hug, the nature of hugging, air kissing in Italy, physical intimacy in NZ that is coded in violence, Lee's story about 3 spanish boys on the train (belly prodding), physical contact at work.Get in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net. ---The Midlifing logo is adapted from an original image by H.L.I.T: https://www.flickr.com/photos/29311691@N05/8571921679 (CC BY 2.0)

Send us a textIn part 2 of a two-parter Simon and Lee carry on (obviously) from last week and get lost (and het up) discussing misogyny.Things covered: voting with our own best interests, the ruling classes, the feminist narrative, misogyny, Bob going shopping for batteries, skin hunger after COVID, getting closer and closer, women and fear, more misogyny, seeing ourselves in other men, rape culture, consent, 16 Candles, The Breakfast Club, Lee's huge fondness for horror films, the final girl (the girl who survives), Nightmare on Elm Street (spoilers), Star Wars (briefly, also BIG spoiler), violence, the responsibility of men to be small, Jefrey waking up early on the weekends, Lee's face has two settings (Binary Face Miller), Lee's age (he's 5 years younger than Simon), Hannah Arendt, to make monsters of others, recognising degrees of humanity, Eichmann trial (in Israel, not Nuremberg), how to edit this essay, saying goodbye. Correction: Eichmann was tried in Israel in 1961, not in post-war trials in Nuremberg. Get in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net. ---The Midlifing logo is adapted from an original image by H.L.I.T: https://www.flickr.com/photos/29311691@N05/8571921679 (CC BY 2.0)

Send us a textIn part 1 of a two-parter Simon and Lee start off (inevitably) with an apartment update, some elongated preamble, check in post US election, and voting in our own best interests (or not).Things covered: Photoshop vs CAD models, learning 3D modelling, planning a kitchen (again), apartment update, Bob and Lee making a list of all the things they are going to do on their week off, camping in one's own place, podcast relationships, parasocial relationships, Colin and Johnny's podcast, Lee asks for feedback from listeners we don't know, US election aftermath, Simon's upcoming 4 year hiatus from all news, Lee's weekly team meetings (that happen every week), remembering Boris Johnson (and him dancing at a wedding), Simon tries to remember something (again), gently touched on erectile dysfunction, things we haven't talked about (not bowel movements for instance), Corbetron's rubbish joke about erectile dysfunction, Simon keeps trying to remember something, realising that Boris was very popular which was revealing about the UK, Hilary in 2016, Kamala being competent, middle-aged white men liking Trump, humans are just sophisticated bees. Get in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net. ---The Midlifing logo is adapted from an original image by H.L.I.T: https://www.flickr.com/photos/29311691@N05/8571921679 (CC BY 2.0)

Send us a textSimon seeks some advice from Lee about keeping things in confidence, and then they talk about what our work colleagues really think of us. Things covered: A messed up beginning riddled with technological issues and two different audio streams, Sennheiser headphones, Sony headphones, photoshopping floor plans (apartment update), Lee's Dad flipping houses, renovations from another country, Ian Dury and the Blockheads (Hit Me With Your Rhythm Stick), the rhythm method, a drummer in the room as a form of contraception, a conversation in confidence, burning bridges with everybody, overestimating one's capacity to intervene productively, Simon's nickname Clunk, a hilarious way for Lee to be an arsehole, Jefrey (the dog) trying to eat a croissant from a 2 year old, Lee being an excellent Agony Uncle, Lee singing musical tunes, staff away days (that aren't away), saying things we like about colleagues, emerging themes about what Simon's colleagues think of them, Simon's capacity to organise, baked goods at work, cupboard love, lightness of touch at work, being funny at work, hypothetically what Lee's colleagues would say about him, people pleasing, 360 reviews.  Get in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net. ---The Midlifing logo is adapted from an original image by H.L.I.T: https://www.flickr.com/photos/29311691@N05/8571921679 (CC BY 2.0)

Send us a textLee and Simon discuss the extent to which identities are tied to work, and some other stuff. Things covered: International Champagne Day (25 October), talking in the third person, Prosecco, Cava, a biscuity Champage, Franciacorta, apartment update (offer accepted), relative cheapness vs eye watering amounts of money, waiting on tenterhooks, needing an Italian bank account, the apartment will be signed off by Christmas, Lee seeding house buying ideas, one's work identity (and it changing or even disappearing), a new perspective on work and on art making, which things to move to Italy, moving money around, the things we buy as investments, not paying rent anymore, Lee being a dastardly prick, Bob coming back from China with gifts, cultural generosity, chinese artist Rui Guo, Simon's virus, Lee's chest pain, wearing stress in the stomach or heart, removing saturated fats from one's diet, that gall bladder thing, egg-less pancake recipe, Hong Kong martial arts film called Twilight of the Warriors: Walled In (must watch apparently), drinking sangria in the park, Lou Reed.  Get in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net. ---The Midlifing logo is adapted from an original image by H.L.I.T: https://www.flickr.com/photos/29311691@N05/8571921679 (CC BY 2.0)

Send us a textLee and Simon discuss what it is they are most proud of and the capacity to feel as if terrible events are gifts. Things covered: Not having a kitchen, Wolf ovens, removing fitted carpets from a place, Simon being met by a friend at St Pancras, Lee being proud of still being married to Bob, the challenges of a life, having had a difficult week (tummy anxiety), the feeling of underperforming at work, men being less able to communicate feelings (or not), texting a Jungian analysis, the feeling of a big week when it isn't really that big, how small things accumulate over time, Lee watching and seeing the photographs that Bob is taking while she is away, a period of difficulty as a gift, revisiting (briefly) that moment when Simon and Lee covered Simon's reaction to their first miscarriage (see episode whatever way back when), the capacity to view a difficult thing as a gift, the rhythm of loss, adapting to change in time, coming back to worm carnage, closed captions: unsettling music playing, discordant noise, John Williams and Jaws, being full sensory beasts.Get in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net. ---The Midlifing logo is adapted from an original image by H.L.I.T: https://www.flickr.com/photos/29311691@N05/8571921679 (CC BY 2.0)

Send us a textSimon seems to be on the verge of buying something big and Lee wades in.Things covered: Catching up after being away and hearing each other's voices, Bob in China, high speed trains to Hong Kong, American and British voices in HK, being a foreigner vs being a tourist, not a lot of love for Keanu Reeves in our listenership, Timothy Chalamet, Tom Holland, being told when we jumped the shark, buying an apartment, an expensive computer, the non-negotiables, Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown, junkets, not having the vocabulary (regardless of the language), marble flooring, the process of buying an apartment in another country, UK property law, flying freehold, numbers in another language, co-dreaming, checking out bidets in a shop, bum hose pipes in Portugal, Bob's match has been met by Igor, Lil's capacity to image space, geometra (surveyor), first time buyer, the chain in the UK housing market, Lee's house buying history.Get in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net. ---The Midlifing logo is adapted from an original image by H.L.I.T: https://www.flickr.com/photos/29311691@N05/8571921679 (CC BY 2.0)

Send us a textSimon and Lee call Finn to find out who he likes. Things really go off the rails, and then Lee gets back to his favourite subject: jettisoning friends. Things covered: Lee jettisoning friends (again), update and feedback from newphew Finn re Keanu Reeves, trying to add someone to a FaceTime call, live update from Finn: Paul Mescal and Pedro Pascal, Normal People, Ordinary People, Gladiator 2, Andrew Whats-his-chops (hot priest in Fleabag), All of Us Strangers, Cillian Murphy (Bomby-man), Murphy's face needing a wash, Lee being the universal taste-maker, Oppenheimer, Christopher Nolan, the longest running podcast ever, jumping the shark (again), that Lee dumping friends is not a true story, being gay for pay, Lee listening to a 'blue' podcast (on suggestion from a friend), Tim Walz and tonic masculinity, studying micro-expressions online (during a Tim Walz speech), responding and not-responding to messages (including acknowledging birthdays), iPads being the pinnicle of technology, Lee wearing a HUD to read out a presentation (and not looking ridiculous in the glasses).  Get in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net. ---The Midlifing logo is adapted from an original image by H.L.I.T: https://www.flickr.com/photos/29311691@N05/8571921679 (CC BY 2.0)

Send us a textSimon and Lee get silly celebrating their 200th episode, and they discuss a translation of a speech by Donald Trump. Things covered: The arbitrary nature of 200 episodes, Lee's soporific tone, falling asleep during meetings, haribot in a mini, just how easy the marshmallow test is (for Simon), Simon's TeeVee snacks adventure (from another episode), brain messages, weeing at the pub, falling ewoks, Return of the Jedi (and ewoks), seeing Star Wars for the first time, force fields, breaking the seal at the pub, waking up people dozing off while listening to Midlifing, their disinterest in their listeners, Lil Boyce and translating things, stuffing up prepositions, Donald Trump speech in Italian, Lee being more special than Simon, making decisions about translating, being seduced by ideas, following (or not) the politics in the USA, the things we can influence, the lesser of two evils, conservatives being happier than progressives, Lee lighting and burning incense, Aesop's incense. Get in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net. ---The Midlifing logo is adapted from an original image by H.L.I.T: https://www.flickr.com/photos/29311691@N05/8571921679 (CC BY 2.0)

Send us a textSimon and Lee work through earthquakes, what Lee sleeps in, ghost outfits and life after death. Things they discuss: The dancing scene in Call Me By Your Name, dancing at a wedding, swimming in the early morning, Lee survives an Earthquake in Lisbon (while naked), Bob doesn't even wake up for it, Georges Perec's "Life A User's Manual", the 2011 Christchurch earthquake, the Shaky Isles, 1755 Lisbon earthquake, ghost outfits, the expansive sky where Lee's parents live, Bob and Lee watching for shooting stars, Lee not believing in God, different kinds of tears, the word awe (and contrasting emotions), being as far away from TikTok as you can get, small and not mattering, the smallness of differences in conflict, we humans are all the same, engineering hatred, genetic commonalities with bananas, being made of stardust, there being nothing after death, how long the brain continues to function after death, organ harvesting, being aware, ecstatic dancing, craft beers in Lisbon, free beer, needing to be more dog as a philosophy for life, self-consciousness and dancing like nobody is watching, flow, the Task Positive Network, why human beings like to travel, projecting into a building for retirement. Get in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net. ---The Midlifing logo is adapted from an original image by H.L.I.T: https://www.flickr.com/photos/29311691@N05/8571921679 (CC BY 2.0)

Send us a textSimon and Lee discuss Simon's experience of a root canal. Lee chimes in with buying a car and a bit about optometrists. Things they discuss: Simon having a root canal, dealing with the unknown, teachers (for example) keeping in mind how unfamiliar an experience is and how important that is, getting the giggles while at the dentist, down-dogging to the dentist, Tonya Harding the shit out of the others, having five canals, not really knowing what a root canal is, three different approaches from people before Simon had the treatment, giving reassurance, buying a car online and having it delivered, Lee's list of five dream sofas, Simon's first job in a sports shoe store (in 1986?) and not having the necessary expertise (or training), Simon's reading glasses frames, not going to Specsavers, going to an independent Optometrist, the root canal not yet being finished, the possibility of getting a tooth prosthesis (followed by an inappropriate joke that Lee didn't edit out), Simon's incisors, Toothsavers, tooth-hurty, tooth infections, Sir Andy Murray and other Scottish lookalikes, Pamela and Fabio's wedding in Sardegna, auguri, Lil's linguistic advantages, those things called facts, male pattern building, dancing at the wedding, dancing like someone who can dance (and better than Andy Murray), antibiotics, and pre-emptive antibiotics (in case of emergency), probiotics. Get in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net. ---The Midlifing logo is adapted from an original image by H.L.I.T: https://www.flickr.com/photos/29311691@N05/8571921679 (CC BY 2.0)

Send us a textSimon and Lee discuss how Lee's relationship with his parents is changing (or not) and Simon going through his Mother's writing.Things they discuss: Jefrey is inbetween breakfasts, Lee's breakfast, brushing your teeth when you wake up, not talking about the science of brushing your teeth before or after breakfast, bacteria replicating at night in your mouth, water squirters, mouthguards at bedtime, sleep apnea, Lee not making breakfast because he's dead, Weekend at Bernie's, how the age of Lee's parents is manifesting itself, Jonathan Silverman, Andrew McCarthy, Brighton Beach Memoirs, the documentary Brats, Rob Lowe making sense, Molly Ringwald not appearing on the documentary, repeating stories as we age and how long between the stories (days, minutes), Lee's Dad's pool is leaking, the man dug or the man Doug, a cubic meter, ladling out water of a pool, elderly people exercising, how Lee's relationship with his parents is changing, being more anxious about them (and expressing it), dying of emptying a swimming pool out, the challenge of doing all of Netflix (Lee's Mum rising to it), South Korean dramas on Netflix, Atal Gwande's "Being Mortal" (the medicalisation of death), Simon going through his Mother's writing (by posthumous request of his Mother) and putting it off, journalling instead of diarying, "What will I tell the children?" (G.A. Ellis), talking about midlife-ing, the beauty of your lives being ahead of you and the flip side of that, thinking about life ending.Get in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net. ---The Midlifing logo is adapted from an original image by H.L.I.T: https://www.flickr.com/photos/29311691@N05/8571921679 (CC BY 2.0)

Send us a textSimon and Lee talk about the things they have learned from their enemies.Things they discuss: Mars the planet and who owns Mars the confectionary thing, Lee's newfound love of stickers, Pema Chodron's "Living Beautifully", the people we don't like, Bob interviewing a student who talked about their nemesis, Lee getting the discards, the wisdom of Ru Paul, feeling happy at the misfortune of another, Simon's greatest teacher, gentle hints to help you get rid of people, being an outsider, Peter Kramer helping Lee with a bullying situation years ago, the force of personality to be an actor, teachers are not to be trusted and they know fuck-all (except the brilliant ones), the value of terrible things, imagining if Lee were still an actor, the directors Lee would have liked to have worked with (David Lynch), Simon would go with Terrance Mallick, Wild at Heart (by Lynch), Nicholas Cage before he was a little bit Nicolas Cage, not Blue Velvet, Willem Dafoe losing his head, David Lynch having lunch with some actors and getting a phone call from Dennis Hopper, Lee being a fancy human being.Get in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net. ---The Midlifing logo is adapted from an original image by H.L.I.T: https://www.flickr.com/photos/29311691@N05/8571921679 (CC BY 2.0)

Send us a Text Message.Simon and Lee share a tricky conversation about the politics of representation. Things they discuss: finding the note about the tricky subject, Lee extemporising, representation and optics, box ticking, Bayo Akomolafe and representation on slave ships, Simon's confusion about representation, the end game of the politics of representation, Guild HE report on "Understanding the lived experience of ethnic minority students in postgraduate research", the vitality of role models that we see ourselves in, visible markers of identity, female vice-chancellors and a patriarchal narrative, Lee goes all Derridean on us and getting to the point where the binary has been dismantled, gender-based violence in the UK and positioning women as chattle.Get in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net. ---The Midlifing logo is adapted from an original image by H.L.I.T: https://www.flickr.com/photos/29311691@N05/8571921679 (CC BY 2.0)

Send us a Text Message.Simon and Lee talk about "youngest and smallest" and the long-term effects of this feeling (and other similar feelings). Things they discuss: visual but small, knowing things (or not) in meetings, refiling funding pots, knowing less than other people and what gets said (or not), speaking with confidence and authority, being the youngest and smallest, a curse of humility and inferiority, the opposite of a humble brag, walking towards police, Jefrey climbing into police cars, lots of cutting out, a drop off and pick up zone for Jesus, Jefrey being blessed by a vicar, miscreants outside the church, The Outsiders (film), beat cops swinging around their thing-a-rings, the image we have of ourselves and if/when it changes, ozempick thin and ozempick face (and list of people related to this), OJ Simpson trial defence attorney (Robert Kardashian), reorienting perception of one's body and mind, wanting to be quiet and by one's self, Simon confesses to being ignored by Lee, Lee's deep sense of comfort with Simon, being aware of the conditions of our performing in the world, looking physically older. Get in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net. ---The Midlifing logo is adapted from an original image by H.L.I.T: https://www.flickr.com/photos/29311691@N05/8571921679 (CC BY 2.0)

Send us a Text Message.Simon and Lee tier list the shit out of films starring Keanu Reeves. Things they discuss: Dangerous Liasons (including the book), Valmont (L&S got this name wrong), The World According to Garp, Sea of Love and having the hots for Ellen Barkin, slightly dirty (erotic) thrillers, Cruel Intentions, all the Keanu films (can't be bothered listing them all), Interview with the Vampire (not a Keanu film), two lads banging (in televisual remake of Interview with the Vampire), the final of Wimbledon in which Alcaraz was called 'hot' by Annabelle Croft (who was on Strictly Come Dancing), Nicole Kidman in Eyes Wide Shut, the eroticism of Ken and Barbie, River's Edge (homework for Simon), River Phoenix's death, Gus van Sant, Mission Impossible directed by Brian de Palma, To Die For (Kidman film), Dirty Dancing, True Blue by Madonna, top 5 Beyonce songs, a conversation about Ms Swift, Destiny's Child.Top 5 according to your hosts: 1. John Wick; 2. The Matrix; 3. Speed; 4. My Own Private Idaho; 5. Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure.Get in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net. ---The Midlifing logo is adapted from an original image by H.L.I.T: https://www.flickr.com/photos/29311691@N05/8571921679 (CC BY 2.0)

Send us a Text Message.Simon and Lee talk about obsessions and whether or not to talk about them.  Things they discuss: Being discombobulated, Lee's flight being cancelled, more on Simon's cholesterol and the NHS, budget cuts, brief (tangiential) conversation with Jefrey the dalmation, there will be butter (a film starring Daniel Day Lewis), birthday presents and Bob's birthday present registry, Bear (note-taking application), annual subscription services, shitting and kissing balls, putlocker (again), very delayed update on Kamala Harris, Eames House Bird, reading in the pub with a frolleague, articles about Lidar ("light detection and ranging"), Quicksilver (launcher application from back in the day), being obsessed with things, dickhead rabbit holes, sub-reddits, Lee going further than Madonna in his (yoga) practice, teaching classes on Brecht and Stanislavski, Artaud and total theatre, why Simon quit instagram years and years ago, and the sourdough line of conversation (getting high on your supply).Get in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net. ---The Midlifing logo is adapted from an original image by H.L.I.T: https://www.flickr.com/photos/29311691@N05/8571921679 (CC BY 2.0)

Send us a Text Message.Simon and Lee discuss hosting parties that are performances and re-wiring approaches to food.Things they discuss: Simon hosts a party that is a performance in which he is not the host called We Move In Close Circles, the stress of hosting a party, making a lot of pizza, curious.com (which changed its name to just Curious), On the Scent, cholesterol update, the cost of olive oil, intermittant fasting regimes (5 days 2 days), snake dinners, Lee's commute, Lee hallucinating about talking to Jefrey, thinking about when you can eat before bedtime and how that's a midlife thing, the Anatomy Colouring Book, Bob and the Death Star (ie charity shopping), Lee in a second-hand Zegna shirt, witchcraft.Get in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net. ---The Midlifing logo is adapted from an original image by H.L.I.T: https://www.flickr.com/photos/29311691@N05/8571921679 (CC BY 2.0)

Send us a Text Message.Simon and Lee talk about anxiety that persists over time and situations that appear to be high stakes when they are not. Things they discuss: Intrusive thoughts, self-diagnosing online, anxiety, worrying, ruminating and being lost in thought, getting into rows (and arguments) in your head, potentially high-temperature meetings (that are low stakes), Universities being hierarchical, people doing what they are told, the clarity of a work position as opposed to the height of it, the diminishing size of undergraduate theatre and dance programmes in higher education in the UK, smelling people's emotions (and Psychoneuroendocrinology), a specialist who just does root canals, teeth grinding and the pandemic, childhood mental health and the pandemic, children being kept home for so long during COVID19, a new labour Government in the UK, the UK being a conservative nation and serfdom, Keir Starmer or not, and people never being happy.   Get in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net. ---The Midlifing logo is adapted from an original image by H.L.I.T: https://www.flickr.com/photos/29311691@N05/8571921679 (CC BY 2.0)

Send us a Text Message.Simon and Lee talk about no longer being children.Things they discuss: Lee deals with some parent issues, tries out his Australian accent, Simon had dinner with friends and talking about no longer being children, dying from a broken heart, family lineage, a line from Shakespeare's Hamlet, not being nurtured as children, being loved by parents, Lee's Mum wanting udder cream, face and hand cream, the active ingredients of udder cream, the Dark Web, Lee still being a child, a 1.1kg pot of udder cream, Lee solves the udder cream problem and clearly will continue being a child, still being childish (in general), approaching Midlifing timetable meaning we have slightly shorter episodes over coming weeks, Midlifing sodes, Italians being funny with acronyms and not having CET, travelling light (and not recording), follow-up from last week which will appear next week.Get in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net. ---The Midlifing logo is adapted from an original image by H.L.I.T: https://www.flickr.com/photos/29311691@N05/8571921679 (CC BY 2.0)

Send us a Text Message.Lee and Simon talk about imagining bad things as a way to not do them, Coldplay at Glastonbury, and human beings singing together.Things they discuss: Midlifing show titles, the desire or feeling to jump or fall off heights, the meaning of al fresco, being sucked off a balcony, thinking through the possibilities of a fall or jump, someone walking over your grave, airing out Lee's flat in Portugal, hanging out washing on the edge of a building, rehearsing the anxiety of falling, a baby on a balcony, going to the internet for a response, imagining terrible terrible things (like stamping on a chihuahua), Wikipedia-level study, such feelings getting stronger with age, Edward S. Casey's book "Imagining", imagining the catastrophe, staying safe, Lee's Chris Martin shoulders, Coldplay at Glastonbury, non playable characters (NPC), a celebration of togetherness, Coldplay being just this side of irritating, human beings singing together, Paul McCartney vs Coldplay, YouTuber with microbakery who can't bake, middle-aged men cycling and hobbies.Get in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net. ---The Midlifing logo is adapted from an original image by H.L.I.T: https://www.flickr.com/photos/29311691@N05/8571921679 (CC BY 2.0)

Send us a Text Message.It's hard to describe what this one's about. Just listen. Things they discuss: Lee cutting half a yew tree (that has grown a lot), Simon's 40th at Riverford Farm, being old and unimportant academics, the foundations of Bob and Lee's house, youse as plural pronoun, the inaccuracy of language, splitting infinitives and Star Trek, mooching versus smooching (a clunk and Freudian slip by Simon), practice research, a soporific version of Midlifing (mixed in with practice research), Edward S. Casey's bimble, send Midlifing a text message, learning a language by listing all the words you know in that language, Commando comics, mistranslations, the concept of soaking, sex before marriage in Mormon communities, re-watching The Wire (mos def, you feel me?), if your name's not down (or Dan) you're not coming in, Pauline Oliveros and deep listening, Lee on fire (not literally), a typically absurd episode, Simon not hearing what Lee says, Joe Biden's performance in the debate, Ruby and Finn going out counting votes.Get in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net. ---The Midlifing logo is adapted from an original image by H.L.I.T: https://www.flickr.com/photos/29311691@N05/8571921679 (CC BY 2.0)

Send us a Text Message.Simon and Lee are back in the saddle together (finally) and they talk about funerals and one of Simon's experiences in Rome. Things they discuss: Lee is sick, they discuss Bridgerton Series 3 and Lee's eye for detail, Lee working too hard, a funeral in Portugal, drinking wine at a funeral, the size of one's funeral, Jefrey not technically being a person, dying before or after one's partner (and a rationale old age suicide), Lee's parents at the funeral, becoming inured to death, members of Lee's family, ex-council house buy-off under Thatcher, Simon being given a joke gift by his grandfather, Simon's grandparents called Darn and Boompa, Mackintosh's Toffee in NZ, mean-ness towards children, infantalising people (say at University), a child crying "Vaffanculo", acting (or not) when hearing neighbours under duress, Lee's minisodes efforts.Get in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net. ---The Midlifing logo is adapted from an original image by H.L.I.T: https://www.flickr.com/photos/29311691@N05/8571921679 (CC BY 2.0)

Send us a Text Message.A minisode: Lee covers for Simon and talks about having too many water bottles.Get in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net. ---The Midlifing logo is adapted from an original image by H.L.I.T: https://www.flickr.com/photos/29311691@N05/8571921679 (CC BY 2.0)