Something Positive for Positive People

Dr. Nazanin Moali, a distinguished clinical psychologist and acclaimed host of the Sexology Podcast, operates a thriving private practice in Los Angeles. Specializing in enhancing sexual experiences and deepening connections for couples and individuals, she is recognized for her expertise in sexual health and relationships. Dr. Moali provides evidence-based interventions and compassionate support to individuals and couples.

To purchase the recording, please visit www.spfpp.org/conferences

Register for Membership: www.spfpp.org/membershipRegister for the SPFPP Conference: www.spfpp.org/conferencesRegister for Yoga classes: www.spfpp.org/yogaBecome a podcast guest: www.spfpp.org/podcast

In this heartfelt episode of Something Positive for Positive People (SPFPP), we meet Karly, a 29-year-old advocate who turned her life around following a genital HSV-2 diagnosis in June 2023. Karly's story is one of resilience and hope; from grappling with the end of a relationship and facing suicidal thoughts to finding solace in the support of friends, co-workers, and advocacy work. Join us as Karly recounts her journey, offering a personal insight into living with herpes and how it led her to a path of advocacy. Her experience sheds light on the human aspect of HSV, challenging the stigma and reshaping how we perceive individuals affected by the virus.

Join us for Restorative Yoga Classes: www.spfpp.orgThe Herpes Stigma Conference is Thursday May 23 from 10am-4pm Central Time: www.spfpp.org/conferences

1. Cultural Dynamics and Herpes: Explore how cultural beliefs and norms within the Black community impact the perception and management of herpes. It all comes down to the lack of education and we hold on to the stigma more than we listen to the education.2. Healthcare Access and Equity: Discuss disparities in healthcare access and education about sexual health in the Black community.3. Community Support Systems: Highlight the importance of building strong support networks and how to effectively create and utilize them within the Black community.4. Addressing Stigma: Talk about specific challenges related to stigma in the Black community and strategies for overcoming them.5. Empowerment and Advocacy: Share ways to empower individuals and advocate for better sexual health education and resources in the Black community.6. Personal Narratives: Share personal experiences to connect with listeners who may feel isolated or misunderstood within their own communities.7. Role of Religion and Spirituality: Discuss the influence of religious and spiritual beliefs on the perception and management of herpes in the Black community. Stigma of the belief system doubled up on lifestyle and what stigma is.These topics will help in creating a meaningful dialogue that resonates with and supports the Black community, fostering understanding, and providing valuable insights.

There's an accountability in relationships that just doesn't come with dating that allows us to heal things that we never will if we let our fear of rejection for having herpes get in the way. It's not just the rejection that can happen . . . Listen to this one. We touched back into the essence of this podcast that I've gotten away from for a while now. I realized that this morning while recording this.

Thursday May 23, 20224 is the first ever Something Positive for Positive People virtual conference on herpes stigma. The theme is "Sexual Health is Mental Health", and we will analyze the HSV Stigma survey data we've collected from October 2023 at this conference. We invite anyone in the field of sexual health to attend and learn about our STI Minimization program where we train organizations on stigma-free communication with patients. Using the experiences of people navigating herpes stigma, we've been able to address stigma in health care settings, in the field of mental health, and of course in dating. This podcast is a brief verbal expression of the conference without me actually delivering the content of the conference. Visit www.spfpp.org/conferences for more information and to register. I look forward to seeing you there.

Here's a brief update from the newsletter followed by more of what to expect for 2024. As always, I prioritize being consistent over getting it right, however, I can confidently say, I think we got things right as we head into 2024. We know what we're doing, we're doing it, and people are trusting us enough to pay us for it. If you have not already, please subscribe to our email list as this will replace the posting updates on social media, and consistently go out on a monthly basis. Don't forget to register for the SPFPP virtual conference, take the HSV stigma survey, and join our monthly membership program for those perks (or if you just want to make monthly reoccurring donations). Ya'll I am RIGHT THERE to being able to do this full-time. Facilitating therapy for people navigating herpes stigma, training sexual health service providers on stigma free care, and coaching folks on communicating about sexual health are all ways in which we serve our community. If you're on the fence about donating or utilizing our services, please reach out and we'll be able to choose what your donations go toward directly. Thank you all for another wonderful year of service. We've been able to raise $60k+ in 2023, nearly DOUBLING what came in for us in 2022.

Cassie Black is Safe Slut by the way. Nikita is one of our SPFPP Conference Presenters who will speak to the mental health aspect of stigma. We came together here to dance around Meta's rules around talking about sex stuff on social media. So we're strategically letting people know we're having a stigma free play party on February 15th, Thursday, in NYC. The details will be on the events tab on SPFPP website. Listen here for insights to the HSV Stigma Free Play Party Avengers. We'll put tickets on sale soon and get the word out as best we can. Event details on the site: www.spfpp.org/events Conference registration: www.spfpp.org/conferences HSV stigma survey: www.spfpp.org/survey

I was supposed to be in Sydney right now while a pre-recorded podcast episode automatically uploaded, but due to some necessary circumstances, I couldn't make that trip because my body told me some very important information that needed action taken immediately. This episode is my last bit of personal sharing on the podcasts, and I hope the story I share inspires you to get to the other side of your healing. I had what felt like a herpes scare again, only with a suspicious nodule on my testicles. (I got examined to learn they're not cancerous) During the waiting period I chose to reflect on my life by asking "What the fuck am I doing?", this will be a meditation on the Presence Practice recording session I do next. Here I talk about my intentions and 2 priorities - Courtney Jr and SPFPP and how that looks as I transition into running SPFPP full time taking that leap of faith. I believe for so long, I've been demonstrating healING, but not the other side of that because of a lack of intentionality. This recent health scare gave me that. I always say: Life is about what happens through you, not to you, and the last few weeks I'm sure ya'll saw me sporadically posting and talking about conferences, surveys, events, donations, website updates like a maniac, but it all came together. I just decided to use that energy of looking up things or being stuck and afraid for what I realized means the most to me. That means Courtney Jr. (Nobody's pregnant) and SPFPP (which I really need to ONLY be doing for my work). Also, join us December 20th at 1pm eastern time for a panel discussion about play parties with HSV. Safe Slut is looking to facilitate an event that is centered around stigma free play. So if you're in the lifestyle, join that podcast episode (Free for SPFPP members at $10 tier or more, but donations required for non-members) and you can be in the Q&A. Visit www.spfpp.org/events for more information

I am joined by my friend and "No Shame in this Game" documentary producer, Jolene Jo-Jo Hernandez for a very long overdue podcast episode recording. Jolene put a sign on that says "I have herpes, ask me anything" and wore it at . . . Washington Park, in New York City as part of a documentary she put together just with the intention of healing that thing that needed to be dealt with. In this episode, while you'll hear two people comfortable with their herpes statuses, understand that you are where YOU are in your journey and that is perfectly fine. Our goal here is just to nudge you a little further into the slight discomfort of seeing what you're prioritizing your diagnosis over instead of just living your life. You can connect with Jolene via email at noshameinthisgamefilm@gmail.com or www.noshameinthisgame.com Social Media: @noshameinthisgamefilm

Do you wonder where your donations to SPFPP go? Here's where you can find out! Herpes stigma survey www.spfpp.org/survey and join our newsletter for updates by sending me your email address.

Here's a solo episode where I openly explore learning out loud about what it means to be intentional and my own insecurities. Have you ever met someone like you but on the next level of that? I mean, you're ready for that, but aware enough to use words and identify what insecurities may be bubbling up to the surface around reciprocating. I talk about an experience here where... I met myself through someone and got to see those insecurities come up as pressure. Pressure is something that tends to conflict with presence. Pressure will pull you into past experiences causing a reaction in the now that don't work and imagined outcomes you can perform for that aren't fitting to the present moment. That's probably something to go more into in next week's episode. Anyways, take inventory on what you have and who you have it with and where you get it from. What you'll find is that you're practicing having those things and getting better at accepting them. If you actively choose what's NOT that, then you'll make space for different. I try to explain this here so hopefully it comes across in my rambling.

For as long as it takes me to get to the point here, it's story time. I've had a wild week of what I thought was "People" harassing me, but ultimately I learned that it was one person. This episode is partially venting, partially a warning, partially a transparency moment. The episode will do the talking, but know that everything is okay. I don't anticipate having to take further action (thank God). While that may be the case, I don't want these disgruntled interactions I've had with these few women to impact the way I interact with people generally. I'm fine, this is part of my paper trail of the harassment & borderline fetishization/stalking/racism I've received from this individual who I will not name, and I slip in a past ghost of something that was partially damaging to my reputation that I'm choosing to let go in this episode being rleased. Playing dumb and overly humble has served its purpose. Now I just gotta set hard boundaries around how people interact with me and trust my gut. Details in the episode.

So this woman I matched with on a dating app that is not herpes focused matched with me, we lost contact, and then when we matched again she really wanted to tell me thanks for my work. She and I discussed making this into a podcast episode, and I AM SO GLAD WE DID! This was phenomenal perspective. My experience with navigating dating multiple partners is quite unique for a variety of reasons, primarily that I'm open about my status. I touch on that in the episode. Our guest who chose to be called Tuesday shares her experience with sharing her new diagnosis to her then fiance' now husband and the handful of partners they have together and separate. This is an important episode for anyone navigating non monogamy of course, but any person can see how important it is to have partners who are accepting of YOU rather than expecting them to be accepting of a thing about you like herpes. We often make herpes such a big deal that we diminish the value of who we are in our identity and THAT is what people can be attracted to, but when we do that, we deem ourselves unattractive without meaning to because our focus is on herpes, so they can only assume that's where theirs should be. Let's reframe that. Survey for folks with herpes: www.spfpp.org/survey Current herpes data: www.spfpp.org/data Patreon for support groups: www.patreon.com/spfpp Conference details: www.spfpp.org/events

I interview a 26 year old Man from Ireland who's currently traveling abroad. We connected March 2023 and he reached out mid October to share his experience on the SPFPP podcast. "Herpes isn't that big of a deal" is something that gets loosely thrown around without context and we acknowledge that had this guests' partner had a different response than what the guest received, that we'd be having a way different conversation. He shares that this is his first time telling this story, so bear with us and be gentle in the feedback. This guest is open and happy to connect with Ireland residents and more if you'd like. I can connect ya'll. Please mark May 23, 2024 for the first ever SPFPP conference which will be held online and we'll be presenting the final survey findings at this conference. You can participate in this survey if you're living with herpes by visiting www.spfpp.org/survey..

I put Marla's bio below this description but let me tell ya'll, I came in with three talking points: 1. What is the Sex Down South Conference? 2. Speaking to the intersection of pleasure and safety when it comes to sex 3. Talking about kink as a treatment for trauma I NEVER make outlines for episodes because typically the content deviates from the topic and I find myself trying too hard to stay on topic but we managed to get an hour of conversation going between us. Marla offers some examples of this with choking and I share some of my own experiences navigating not only the conference but how kink has been helpful to me navigating not just my ideas of sex, but with INTIMACY. If you've been listening to the last few episodes or following me on social media then you know I've been looking at my own relationship to sex and intimacy and invite you to do the same. Don't forget the herpes survey: www.spfpp.org/survey Don't forget weekly support group meetings but you gotta be a Patreon subscriber: www.patreon.com/spfpp Marla (she/her) is a certified sexologist, author, and sexual strategist who runs her own sexuality education company, Velvet Lips. She is also a Co-Founder of the top- rated Sex Down South Conference. She has studied human sexuality for more than 22 years and has given over 600 workshops all over the world. She has been featured on a variety of media outlets, including Netflix's Trigger Warning with Killer Mike and Love & HipHop Atlanta. She co-wrote her first book, The Ultimate Guide to Seduction & Foreplay with Dr. Jessica O'Reilly, which debuted in April 2020. You can learn more about Sex Down South by visiting www.sexdownsouth..com and following SDS on social media at SDSCON.

I wanna preface this episode with the disclaimer that we are talking about sexual assault/rape. This isn't in a violent form by any means, however it is still a nonconsensual sexual encounter. That's not the entire podcast topic/discussion, but enough of it to where we reference it throughout so if that triggers you, please skip this episode. I interview Laura from Zero Proof Nation who was diagnosed with herpes after being date raped by her crush. We talk about how her first sexual experience shaped her arousal to date. She sprung on my that she was bisexual as well for those who want to hear about that experience. Laura also talks about grieving a sex life she never had since she's been living with herpes since 22 years old and has only known dating with that since then, and after 2 hospitalizations from alcohol poisoning decided to be sober. Another big takeaway from this episode is that there is much more to discuss/disclose than a herpes diagnosis. We discuss a vulnerability of Laura's which is her own struggles with her finances and the trouble she may have gotten herself into. Connect with Laura on Instagram @wearesober today! You can also join our SPFPP weekly support groups for Patreon Subscribers on Mondays at 6pm pacific by visiting www.patreon.com/spfpp. If you'd rather not join Patreon, you can join the 4th Monday of each month. Men, there's a group I host weekly for now on Thursdays at 6pm pacific that you'll need to email me to be a part of. Take the HSV survey if you haven't already by visiting www.spfpp.org/survey. If on a mobile device, click the slightly visible blue box on the right of your screen to begin.

Herpes Survey: www.spfpp.org/surveyHerpes Support Group Details: www.patreon.com/spfppFor 1-1 call email courtney@spfpp.org with proof of donation to set up a call

Our guest Bette Minou (Instagram BetteMinou) is a Sensual/Alternative model who's also on the OnlyFans @BetteMinouMeow if you want to check that out for yourself. This episode is really about things much bigger than herpes that stigma can be applied to.. At the core, everyone here is just feeding their inner child who, as kids may have had many needs met, but the ones that didn't get met are what shaped our pursuits toward meeting those absent needs. Bette talks about her BPD squared as she calls it, Borderline Personality Disorder and Bi-polar Disorder, as well as Cuban culture, queerness and polyamory as she identifies as Pansexual. We didn't get to go much into the herpes but I think ya'll know by now every type of story with herpes and we're just putting different faces to it. Bette was diagnosed a year and a half ago at age 30-31 in case ya'll were wondering. But going back to stigma. We lock in to herpes stigma and STI stigma when we live in a world where it applies to many other things. So I'm glad to have a guest with so many intersecting identities represented here. Speaking of Stigma, if you haen't already gone to www.spfpp.org/survey and participated in our 2023 HSV survey to learn about your experience with stigma, support, meds, dating and disclosure, please do so. When you first open the survey, you'll be taken to the consent form where there's a tiny blue box on the right side (if using a mobile device). Click that and it'll take you to the consent form where you'll see words laid over one another. .You can zoom out to read and scroll down to start the survey. Thank you for your time. As always you can donate to www.spfpp.org today, join our Patreon at www.patreon.com/spfpp and I'm always looking for new guests to add diversity to herpes.

Mila is newly diagnosed (3 months in) and agreed to do a podcast with me not only on her recent experience not just with herpes but her shift in dating intentions. As a Pansexual woman of Mexican descent, we talk through some culture and non-mainstream aspects of attraction including masculinity and femininity. My hope is that you are able to take away the importance of maintaining and developing your value for the sake of the community. There's a difference between having needs and being needy, and as with all things, the x factor is moderation.

Chasity has been in pharmacy for 10 years and joins our series of interviews with health care professionals dispelling some conspiracy theories and speaking about stigma. One thing that stood out about our chat is that leadership, team, and environment keep coming up and I'm seeing how influential these components of the healthcare field influence one's care they receive. We can utilize communication to set new expectations and change narratives in media about expectations of someone positive for an STI or start even sooner to get them the support that can mitigate the need for SPFPP's existence as it initially began . . . supporting people through the mental health challenges of navigating an STI diagnosis. We need to integrate these learned communication skills SPFPP's guests have shared into STD Prevention efforts.

Shaina French is a Certified Nurse Midwife. She joins us on SPFPP this episode to talk about a Team approach to health care. We discuss time restrictions and workload providers have to navigate in order to meet the requirements necessary to be able to take insurance, and what we're paying for in order to get that extra time and quality of care from those who opt out of taking insurance. Overall we discuss bias and stigma, and that communication and awareness are essential to the quality of care someone is receiving and able to give. Patients and providers both have needs and we discuss how social media CAN potentially meet those needs, even though simultaneously it could cause different challenges. We discuss the importance of a referral list and I inquire on bias vs identity compatibility which speaks to one's scope of practice. Talking about sex in the doctor's office presents a number of challenges that can be resolved by having practice talking about sex in the doctor's office, and that is one of the things your donations to SPFPP support. Connect with Shaina on Instagram at 1whiskeytangofoxtrot. Shaina (she/her) is a Certified Nurse Midwife and Sex Counselor with 16 years experience specializing in gynecological care and the care of pregnant/birthing people. In the last half of her career she has focused her skills on assisting her clients in addressing their sexual health concerns, such as navigating vulvar dermatological problems and in individual or partnership counseling sessions for low libido or lack of orgasm. She uses a biopsychosocial approach to tailor treatments to each individual in a shared decision making model of care. She is an Accredited Sexual Healthcare Provider ™ , Kink Affirming Practitioner ™ and Fellow in the International Society for the Study of Women's Sexual Health (IF). She currently is caring for birthing clients in hospital only, but coming this fall will be returning to in office sex medicine/gynecological and sex counseling care. Stay tuned to her Instagram for details @1WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot or contact her at shainafrenchwtf@gmail.com

Here we interview a Planned Parenthood Nurse Practitioner on the East about stigma in the healthcare field. We talk about some of the clean vs dirty language, differences between men and women's responses to their diagnosis and some of the useful resources that have supported our guest in dealing with patients. I also present a lil' bit of guidance for alleviating stigma with patients so I did my deed for the day here. This episode is part of my interviewing healthcare providers series. My intention is to optimize the patient/provider communication for the sake of minimizing new infections through getting people comfortable talking about sex. Gena is a nurse practitioner who has been working in reproductive healthcare for over a decade, with expertise in trauma-informed gynecology, abortion care, and gender affirming hormone therapy.  In her current role at Planned Parenthood, Gena is particularly passionate about destigmatizing STIs, consent advocacy, and empowering patients in every aspect of their care.

We discuss how stigma cannot survive the presence of truth. We talk about how addressing stigma may not necessarily be something to address with the health care provider or patient. It could be something to address with parents in the home and educators at school. I been thinking about giving providers practice talking about sex with patients, but maybe its the teachers who need this education to distill to the youth so that we don't see so much stigma prevalent in adulthood. Theresa has been an RN for 47 years, working mostly adult care -- in hospitals, long-term care facilities,  in a underserved clinic and as a case manager for an insurance company. Currently, she is semi-retired, working part-time from home as a remote triage nurse, which is great.

So what exactly does a Sex Therapist do? In my exploration of trying to identify opportunities for patients and providers to best communicate about sex, what I'm finding is that there's a lot more to understand than the stigma component. Kimberly shared that on the surface, doctors don't talk about sex with patients because of time, but what we learn is that that's just an excuse for a much larger issue. Kimberly Resnick Anderson, LCSW, is an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, speaker, writer, and professor, with more than 30 years of experience treating individuals, couples and groups. She specializes in helping her clients achieve optimal sexual health and satisfaction. In her practice, she has been known to make her clients feel extremely safe to discuss deeply intimate topics. Over the years, she has been praised for her special style of talking to people about sex that is both comforting and profoundly liberating. Her life-changing technique that she has coined, “Comfort-Inducing Sexuality Dialogue” is her own unique clinical model that has helped save the marriages of hundreds of her clients. Ms. Anderson conducts Support Groups, Couples Retreats, Intensives and traditional couples counseling. She has a special interest in the impact of chronic and acute illness. She has also treated thousands of individuals with alternative sexual lifestyles including LGBTQ, Polyamory, Ethical Nonmonogamy, and BDSM; and has been a champion of depathologizing these marginalized populations. Ms. Anderson is regularly quoted in Playboy.com, CNN.com, Cosmo.com, Huffington Post, Yourtango.com and dozens of other national and international publications. Ms. Anderson has published articles in medical journals including The Female Patient and The Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy. She was also an on-air expert and consultant for the TLC's “Strange Sex” series. As a sought-after speaker and expert, Ms. Anderson has been quoted and mentioned in over 25 countries. She is a speaker at sexual health conferences around the globe. Kimberly also hosts and produces a podcast Called Sex Savvy, which tackles all things sexual. Click here to listen. Her work in graduate medical education makes her a popular Professor among physician trainees and mental health professionals, teaching them to comfortably discuss sexual issues with patients and clients. She is currently an assistant professor of Psychiatry at UCLA David Geffen School of Medicine. In addition to in-office therapy at her Los Angeles-based location, she offers online sex coaching and teletherapy programs to her national and international clientele. She also teaches a sex therapy training program to licensed professionals, offering her unique approach. Contact Kimberly via: www.kimberlyresnickanderson.com Phone: 818-334-5811 (For a free 15 minute call/consult)

I wasn't sure if I'd publish this as a podcast episode considering I'm exploring the new territory of just collecting information from health care providers that can support my mission to help people navigate the stigma that comes with not only a herpes, but any STI diagnosis. As I learn more, I learn more. While I filter and curate this information from them to you, maybe you'll have my same experience and growth while I'm learning out loud here through these conversations. So I decided to get their consent to share these recordings that aren't quite podcast episodes, but conversations with providers on their challenges and perspectives as they treat patients. Dr. Lourdes here is the first interview in that series. I look forward to sharing with you here. Lourdes Mantecón-Garza obtained her medical degree in 1982, at the medical school of the Autonomous University of Nuevo León, in Monterrey, Mexico. She continued with specialty studies in Internal Medicine at the SSA Metropolitan Hospital in the same city in 1988. She completed a master's degree in business administration at the University of Texas (MBA, UT-PanAmerican) in 2005. She continue with studies on human sexuality at the Institute for Advanced Studies of Human Sexuality (IASHS) and at the Buehler Institute, both in California USA. Dr. Mantecón is a certified clinical sexologist by the American College of Sexologists International and is also a certified sexuality counselor by the American Association of Sexuality, Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) also in the US. Dr. Mantecón -Garza has fellow studies in women's sexuality by the International Society for the Study of Women's Sexual Health (ISSWSH). She is a visiting professor for human sexuality readings at different educational institutions in Mexico (UANL) and the United States (UTRGV school of medicine and family residency). She has presented research papers at national congresses in Mexico and the United States and world ISSM (International Society for Sexual Medicine) 2018, WAS (World Association for Sexual health) 2019 and ISSSWSH 2020. In addition to her practice, Dr. Mantecón Garza decided to write reference books that could be available to the population without the difficulty of medical technicalities. His first work, “The diet and the diabetic”, was published by Editorial Trillas in 1996, the second is “Healthy Sexuality” in the process of printing with the same publisher. She is dedicated to work as sexuality counselor at her office in McAllen Texas, she also offers services through telemedicine in English and Spanish.

Our guest, Fran, lives in Australia and talks about sobriety after years of having her identity as a party girl. She got herpes 6 months into a health, monogamous relationship that ended after 2 years for none of the reasons you may be thinking. We talk about something big here, which was how Fran thought her purpose was to be a party girl, and how she just didn't know any different. We discuss the illusion of presence that can come from sex that just doesn't feel connective, and how we aren't looking for "attention" and "validation" necessarily, but we're seeking presence in our relationships. Join Patreon for our after show where we got deeper into some of Fran's self reflections that we uncovered during our episode. www.patreon.com/spfpp

I've been interviewing people with herpes since 2017. I started this platform with the intention of just keeping people with herpes from wanting to kill themselves. All these years later, we've become the leading sexual health communications resource for people navigating herpes stigma. I wanted to do something special like a fundraiser for this occasion, but things just fell through. This episode is a combination of what's for people to understand from the business side and a significant amount of my own personal experience here. I had a dream that I'm integrating into my personal existence as well as how I run SPFPP moving forward, and that's from a place of presence, choice and intention. I have been so afraid of success and failure, but those were covering up my true fear which is my damn self.

Dr. Evalin Molina Dacker from SPFPP 99: Integrative Disclosure joins us 4 years later to talk through the evolution of the STARS Talk as a framework for talking about sex with partners AND expectations for the relationship. “How do I disclose?” is hands down the most common question I get, so we revisited this conversation with that in mind. Patreon subscribers get the “after show” where Evelin and I practice using the STARS Talk, and we share some personal experiences not shared in this episode, so head over to Patreon today and become a member for access to that. You can connect with the STARS Resource and Evelin by visiting www.maketimeforthetalk.com where you'll see upcoming class schedules and workshops as well as worksheets to navigate sexual health communicaion.

Our guest is a woman approaching age 40 who was diagnosed with herpes at age 14. This podcast Episode speaks to the important topic of "Sexless Sex Education", a talk I give teaching youth educators to talk to youth about sex, without talking about sex. It integrates these lived experiences of people who've had a diagnosis into sex education in order to aid std prevention efforts. Much of what we learn from this guest's experience is that there was no leadership or direction, just what "not" to do, which as you'll hear in this episode is only 1 of 360 degrees of directions people can go. Take away that 1 degree of what NOT to do and you have 359 other ways people can go. We have to lead our youth otherwise they'll seek leadership from unsafe places and unfortunately we hear another reference to how common this can be like we heard on episode 97 (https://www.spfpp.org/podcast/episode-97-normalized-dysfunction). Apathy creates an environment of normalized dysfunction and we gotta do something about that as adults. I propose talking to each other and bringing back accountability. What she shares in this story is illegal and it sounds like the adults just neglected doing their job. This STI minimization isn't exclusively for people living with herpes. It isn't just for sexually active adults. It isn't just for health care providers. It isn't just for sex educators. This is for all of us. The non-sexual components of sex education are omitted from the conversation because of peoples' fears and emphasis on the intercourse element. While this is PART of sex education, it's more important that it be accepted than avoided because we so quickly throw out elements of consent, boundaries, healthy relationship management skills, and the ability to seek support in the event of a boundary or consent violation.

Our guest this week is a 21 year old who was recently like less than a week recently diagnosed with both HIV and HSV. His experience is very fresh so this podcast episode will be different than what you may be used to, but he was on board with sharing his fresh perspective which I know people are often seeking. We met today and he was willing to record today so we made it happen. Shoutout to him! I also want to point out the most incredible part of this man's story which is just how non-attached his identity is to his sexuality. I found his ability to speak to his identity to be very mature. I hope someone newly diagnosed has something to take away from this episode. Shameless Care: https://shamelesscare.com/?ref=643 for This week's $30 off your first at home STI test kit. www.viventhealth.org for free STI testing (or search free STI testing near me" for similar sites in your area)

Kit (they/them), is a 26 year old hula-hooping, neurodivergent, queer, and poyamorous person living with herpes. Originally, Kit reached out with some positive shares they wanted to bring to the podcast. I recognize them for hula hooping on IG and somehow our conversation began speaking about how a herpes diagnosis changes our relationship not just with sex, but with pleasure. What people don't often know is that sex can go beyond the feeling of orgasm from genital contact. Kit and I discuss some elements of kink and BDSM that give us the same things we seek through sex. Feeling and being connected to another person can still happen without genital contact. Shoutout to our sponsor Shamelss Care offering ED medication AND at home STI tests (including herpes). When you use their services, use our code SPFPP at checkout and visit www.shamelesscare.com/spfpp today!

This episode is a glimpse at my 1-1 conversations I have. Moving forward, for the sake of this community, the growth of the Something Positive for Positive People non profit organization and podcast, I'm answering herpes stigma and advice related questions AFTER a donation has been received. I will point you in the direction of my available resources including the website www.spfpp.org, the spfpp podcast, and social media pages (mainly Instagram @CourtneyBrame_). If donating does not work for you, then I ask that we make this content shareable via a podcast episode interview. You can view this as an out loud “coaching/support/discovery/venting” session. I am really pushing for people in our community to get involved ya'll. Too often I find myself getting ghosted by people who offer to be guests, or swore they'd donate or wanted to get involved, only to just disappear on me. Our guest, Taylor, (almost 30 who's had herpes since the age of 15) is my first guest who moved forward with this. I still don't think I answered her question, but she definitely left with some more things to consider, while also leaving her own imprint on the SPFPP space/podcast community. Here's what you can expect as one of these guests if you choose to not donate, and that's fine. There is plenty of material on www.spfpp.org for you to find what you're looking for. But if you want direct access, engagement or a shortcut to the answer, please be ready to support this community.

Donate by visiting www.spfpp.org today

When we prioritize the needs of the spirit, the body seems to care for itself. 35 year old Erika was diagnosed with herpes during pregnancy of her first born of her five children. This was originally going to be on my other podcast, Selfed, but herpes was a big part of this conversation unexpectedly. Erika's youngest makes an appearance throughout. I felt this conversation was more important to have than to wait until her son maybe went to bed. As mentioned, she's a full time working single mom, so there will be some background noise. There's a trigger warning given for this episode in reference to abuse. We talk about a lot of real shit about men and women, abuse and bystanders, government assistance, prioritizing your mental health, and miracles and intuition. We even touch a little on relationships. You get a heavy dose of the realness here in this episode and I appreciate your willingness to come on this long ride. If you like this then you'll like Selfed, the podcast. A note from the guest: First, thanks to my sister. She is my official “coparent “and the real MVP. That goes to my moms as well, I love you all. Second, I'm not sure what happened to me since our talk, but I feel like new pathways have opened up in my brain. So, instead of sitting here, feeling guilty about the men I can't even publicly name to thank… this shift has inspired me to take a new look at how I relate to men in my life and the role they play in my family's life. So I am actively engaging in new ways to introduce and maintain positive male figures around me and my kids in order to create a new narrative around what male relationships should and should not look like (and so it's not always linked to a romantic relationship). So my thanks is to you, thank you for opening up this conversation for me and my household.

Our guest this week reached out on Mother's Day and it happened to work out for us both to conduct this interview. This is arguably another “Spiritual significance” episode that touches on how our herpes diagnosis can challenge our faith in addition to our relationship with our sexuality and self. Our guest shares about her experience with having gotten herpes from only her third relationship AND HE KNEW ABOUT IT AND DIDN'T tell her, it was his sister. This man had her sign an NDA saying she couldn't talk about it for 2 years ya'll and he gave her hush money. One thing I appreciate about our guest this episode is that her experience is synonymous to the growth and development of SPFPP and myself. There was some brushing up on relationships' evolution with age and maturity as well. We speak to the quality of intimacy carrying more weight than a high quantity of what may represent the illusion of intimacy, sex. Looking at it from the perspective of a shared and prepared meal, vs something you may get from a drive through or microwave. Something about that analogy sticks with me and I find it to be very supportive in my own ideology of the more you do and practice a thing, the better you get at it. Our guest exemplifies that with her experience being pursued as well. One piece of wisdom I'd like to leave from my great grandma that I got today was instead of looking for a partner, seek God and let him bring your person to you. I attempt to lay that out for us in a way that allows for anyone to participate in that philosophy, and I invite a Yoga perspective into it in a more digestible way.