Overcoming Your Story Podcast

This week's episode is the second part of my discussion with Rosie Yeung. We talk about racism in the workplace. This podcast episode summary comes from www.changinglenses.ca/podcast Rosie Yeung|6/8/2021 “I will always be the Black girl first, before Miriam Njoku. I cannot achieve my way out of being seen with prejudice. That's how they view people like me.” In this episode, Miriam Njoku changes our lens to reveal the racism she experienced working and living in Canada and Switzerland. Does that surprise you? These two countries are probably not the first that comes to mind when you think about racism. After all, Canada prides itself on being a haven for many refugees, and Switzerland is a neutral country that hosts the United Nations. But Miriam, a Master's graduate from the London School of Economics, who worked at the World Economic Forum and JP Morgan Chase, was still seen as a Black African girl first. She had to overcome significant prejudice to finally be seen as a qualified high calibre professional in banking and international development. When she finally started to be recognized just a little bit, she was told she's not like the others. It's as though Miriam was either too African or not African enough.  So as you listen to Miriam's personal story, challenge yourself. What's your immediate visceral reaction? Have you heard similar comments from business colleagues as part of normal small talk? Are you wondering, if everyday comments have no racist intent, can they still be racist?  If you do have questions, and want to discuss with like-minded people who genuinely want to understand, you're welcome to join our free https://www.facebook.com/groups/changinglenses (Facebook group). It's a private online community for safe and respectful discussions about justice, equity, diversity, and inclusion. Contact me and find more JEDI resources at:  https://www.changinglenses.ca/ (https://www.changinglenses.ca/) Full transcript available https://changinglenses.buzzsprout.com/1759041/8526597-ep204-i-can-t-achieve-my-way-out-of-this-workplace-racism-in-switzerland-and-canada-with-miriam-njoku (here).  In this episode, we talk about: [06:03] Miriam's experience as a Black African working in Switzerland. [10:31] How reporting racism to HR can fail the victim. [11:27] Ways that workplace abuse can manifest (with or withoutintent). [16:50] Prejudice at the intersection of racism and sexism. [19:32] Switzerland's dark side. [20:57] White moms racism in Canada. [25:13] Capitalism: a driving force for exploitation. [29:00] Creating a safe work environment for people with trauma. [32:18] When the oppressed try to escape racism by becoming the Model Minority. Content warning: this episode contains references to sexual harassment, racism, and workplace discrimination which some listeners may find disturbing.

This week, Miriam shares an interview she had with Rosie Yeung and her podcast Changing Lenses podcast. The following is from Changinglenses.ca/podcast Have you ever been told you can't do it, or you're not good enough for something you really wanted? What if you got that message in your whole life starting from childhood? What if abuse or racism you've endured created trauma that affects your work or relationships? How do you heal wounds that you can't see? Miriam Njoku knows the struggle all too well. The abuse that she endured as a child and teenager and the racism she experienced at school and at work caused trauma that would cripple ten people, let alone one. Yet somehow, Miriam not only survived all this, but she also found resilience and strength in herself that allowed her to succeed in the world's eyes. What we couldn't see was the continued damage from internal wounds that were never healed and led to her shame and even workaholism. Thankfully, Miriam found the healing she needed to be a whole and healthy mom,writer, podcaster, and African woman. Miriam left a flourishing career in banking and international development with organizations like the United Nations so she could become a trauma-informed coach, helping people free themselves from the burdens of childhood trauma. She's also working to destigmatize mental health in black communities through activities like her podcast, https://www.miriamnjoku.com/podcast (Overcoming Your Story). If you're looking for ways to heal from your past traumas, or if you want to support someone who needs that healing, Miriam shares ways we can do that using her own personal story.  And if you speak French, finally, I have content for you in your language. Thanks to Miriam's bilingualism, please stick around to the end because she has a special message for you.  Content Warning: This episode contains references to childhood abuse and trauma, sexual abuse, and racism. Though not graphic, some listeners may be disturbed by the painful stories. Miriam has endured so much that we had to break it up, and she'll talk specifically about workplace racism in the next episode. Full transcript available https://changinglenses.buzzsprout.com/1759041/8526534-ep13-breaking-the-chains-of-trauma-with-miriam-njoku (here). Contact Rosie and find JEDI resources at:  https://www.changinglenses.ca/ (changinglenses.ca/) In this episode, we talk about: [01:17] Miriam as a Black African in Cameroon. [03:13] Miriam as a Black African in Switzerland. [04:39] Systemic racism in Swiss schools.  [09:42] Miriam's traumatic childhood, and what happened to her mother. [16:28] Her desire for education as a reaction to abuse. [21:06] Hiding shame beneath a veneer of perfection. [25:50] How we can help – indications of possible trauma in others. [28:24] Trauma's impact on motherhood. [30:49] Encouraging trauma victims to ask for help. [33:43] A message of support in French.

This week Miriam shares part 2 of her own story on Ify Bamigboye's podcast: Connecting Stories. We talk about resilience, overcoming childhood and inter-generational trauma, emotional, mental, and sexual abuse. This second part is still full of events happening but also other experiences where I took steps in building the life I want to live. Ify is a guest on this podcast too, episode 8. KEY TEAKEAWAYS: struggle struggle struggle something works for me the importance of emotional regulation as a parent what to do if you want to build your life stories are important About Ify Bamigboye Instagram: @connectingstories Website: https://connectingstories.co.uk/ Ify BamigboyeIfy is an Independent Certified Coach, Teacher, Trainer and Speaker with The John Maxwell Team. She founded Connecting Stories London on January 6, 2018. It was birthed from having built lifelong relationships with the many women she encountered while living across 3 continents, Africa, Europe and Asia; subsequently being blessed by the immense support from these relationships during her own struggles and the different significant milestones of her life. Connecting StoriesConnecting Stories Podcast is a place to explore big topics on life issues that will inspire, educate, motivate and empower everyone who listens. It is a space to sort through the questions we are all trying to answer. A place for meaningful conversations, authenticity, vulnerability and of course we'll have some laughs along the way. https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/connectingstories/ (#connectingstories) https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/relationshipmatters/ (#relationshipmatters) https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/relationshipquotes/ (#relationshipquotes) https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/relationshiptalks/ (#relationshiptalks) https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/relationshipadvice101/ (#relationshipadvice101) https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/wivesandmothers/ (#wivesandmothers) https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/relationshipstruggles/ (#relationshipstruggles) https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/marriageproblems/ (#marriageproblems) https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/marriagecoach/ (#marriagecoach) https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/diaryofanaijagirl/ (#diaryofanaijagirl) https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/childmarriage/ (#childmarriage) https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/womenforwomen/ (#womenforwomen) https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/childrights/ (#childrights) https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/childhoodtrauma/ (#childhoodtrauma) https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/mentalabuse/ (#mentalabuse) https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/sexualabuse/ (#sexualabuse) https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/naijamums/ (#naijamums) https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/londonpodcast/ (#londonpodcast) https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/podcastshows/ (#podcastshows) https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/podcastcomingsoon/ (#podcastcomingsoon) https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/podcastjunkie/ (#podcastjunkie) https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/femalepodcast/ (#femalepodcast) https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/womenpodcasters/ (#womenpodcasters) https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/bestpodcast/ (#bestpodcast) https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/connectingstoriespodcast/ (#connectingstoriespodcast) https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/ukpodcast/ (#ukpodcast) https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/podcastershub/ (#podcastershub) https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/nigerianpodcast/ (#nigerianpodcast) https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/africanpodcast/ (#africanpodca)st

This week Miriam is sharing an interview she had with Ify Bamigboye on her Podcast Connecting Stories. I share my story about overcoming childhood and inter-generational trauma, emotional, mental, and sexual abuse. This is the first time I share my story in full, I tend to rush through my story but Ify has this way of helping her guests tell their story and I thank her for it. Ify is a guest on this podcast too, episode 8. KEY TEAKEAWAYS: the meaning of married at 14 being abandoned moving and moving again grief and loss how to survive you ask? resilience and hardwork About Ify Bamigboye Instagram: @connectingstories Website: https://connectingstories.co.uk/ Ify BamigboyeIfy is an Independent Certified Coach, Teacher, Trainer and Speaker with The John Maxwell Team. She founded Connecting Stories London on January 6, 2018. It was birthed from having built lifelong relationships with the many women she encountered while living across 3 continents, Africa, Europe and Asia; subsequently being blessed by the immense support from these relationships during her own struggles and the different significant milestones of her life. Connecting StoriesConnecting Stories Podcast is a place to explore big topics on life issues that will inspire, educate, motivate and empower everyone who listens. It is a space to sort through the questions we are all trying to answer. A place for meaningful conversations, authenticity, vulnerability and of course we'll have some laughs along the way. https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/connectingstories/ (#connectingstories) https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/relationshipmatters/ (#relationshipmatters) https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/relationshipquotes/ (#relationshipquotes) https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/relationshiptalks/ (#relationshiptalks) https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/relationshipadvice101/ (#relationshipadvice101) https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/wivesandmothers/ (#wivesandmothers) https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/relationshipstruggles/ (#relationshipstruggles) https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/marriageproblems/ (#marriageproblems) https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/marriagecoach/ (#marriagecoach) https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/diaryofanaijagirl/ (#diaryofanaijagirl) https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/childmarriage/ (#childmarriage) https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/womenforwomen/ (#womenforwomen) https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/childrights/ (#childrights) https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/childhoodtrauma/ (#childhoodtrauma) https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/mentalabuse/ (#mentalabuse) https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/sexualabuse/ (#sexualabuse) https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/naijamums/ (#naijamums) https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/londonpodcast/ (#londonpodcast) https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/podcastshows/ (#podcastshows) https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/podcastcomingsoon/ (#podcastcomingsoon) https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/podcastjunkie/ (#podcastjunkie) https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/femalepodcast/ (#femalepodcast) https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/womenpodcasters/ (#womenpodcasters) https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/bestpodcast/ (#bestpodcast) https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/connectingstoriespodcast/ (#connectingstoriespodcast) https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/ukpodcast/ (#ukpodcast) https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/podcastershub/ (#podcastershub) https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/nigerianpodcast/ (#nigerianpodcast) https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/africanpodcast/ (#africanpodca)st

Episode 34 - Getting Real With Paula: Managing Personal Traumas over the Holiday Season. Miriam is sharing an episode from the Getting Real With Paula Show on which she was a guest in December, this is a great conversation for the holidays and other gatherings we have in our families. Key Takeaways: - I share my story and how I got to coaching -How do you manage family trauma and drama over the holiday season? -How I met a therapist who put me on my healing journey -What the holiday season brings up for people -Why it is important to stick to routines -How else to spend the Holidays we don't have family or don't have a family to go to -All the things you can give yourself permission to do RESSOURCES https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G8ojWDhVssI (Getting Real With Paula Youtube Channel) https://www.paulaalphonse.com/getting-real-with-paula (Paula Alphonse's website) Instagram: @paula.alphonse Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/paula.alphonse.106 (Paula Alphonse) ABOUT PAULA ALPHONSE Effective communication and productive interpersonal relationships are key factors to achieving success and self-mastery in life.  As an International Speaker, Leadership Educator, she has spoken to audiences as large as 500 people. She has hosted workshops in Canada, Haiti, India and Cameroon to both public governments and nonprofit organizations.  Her passion and purpose in life is to empower individuals to be confident leaders and effectively reach their full leadership potential. As a result of working with her, clients achieve greater positive impact and the best return on investment not only for themselves but also the organization for which they work. We live in an era where success is too often defined by material things. Instead, she aims to highlight the quantitative and qualitative value of effective interpersonal skills, confidence, effective leadership and relationship management on both the bottom line and the individual's quality of life. When you have the opportunity hear her speak, not only will you feel empowered, entertained and inspired but also well-equipped with the tools and structure which generate greater results and higher motivation to take on any challenges in both personal or professional life.   ABOUT ME Miriam is a Certified Trauma Informed Coach, an African, a mom of three daughters, a blogger and writer. After graduating from the London School of Economics, she built her international career in the fields of banking and international development, working for organisations such as the World Economic Forum, Lombard Odier Private Bank, JP Morgan, the Mastercard Foundation and the United Nations. She now uses her passion for psychology and dedicates her time to coaching others to free themselves from the burden of childhood trauma. Her wish to help other women connect to their inner wisdom, love themselves and follow their passion. In her effort to destigmatize mental health and normalize mental health conversations in black communities, she wrote her memoir about surviving childhood and finding her worth.  https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/gettingrealwithpaula/ (#gettingrealwithpaula) https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/trauma/ (#trauma) https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/holidayseason/ (#holidayseason) https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/feelingstuck/ (#feelingstuck) https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/overcomingyourstory/ (#overcomingyourstory) https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/mentalhealthawareness/ (#mentalhealthawareness) https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/breakingbarriers/ (#breakingbarriers) https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/beyourbestself/ (#beyourbestself) https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/movingforward/ (#movingforward) https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/findingmyway/ (#findingmyway) https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/emotionalintelligenge/...

Miriam is doing a book review of Nobody Knows The Trouble I've Seen: The emotional lives of Black Women. Nobody Knows The Trouble I've Seen Subtitle: The Emotional lives of Black Women, it came in June 2021 and is written by Dr. Inger Burnett-Zeigler. It is part memoir, part self-help, and part academic nonfiction. Key Takeaways Black women are seen as strong Black women suffer from unacknowledged trauma Why we need to challenge the tradition of secret-keeping in the black community Black women carry so many roles in society that they have to strong the consequences for black women not acknowledging their emotions What is the path forward, what black women can do Author: Dr. Inger Burnett-Zeigler is a licensed clinical psychologist and associate professor in the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at the Feinberg School of Medicine at Northwestern University. She has two decades of clinical experience helping people with stress, trauma, mood and anxiety conditions, and interpersonal strain. In her clinical practice, she promotes holistic wellness through mindfulness and compassionate self-care. Inger's scholarly work focuses on the role that social determinants of health play in mental illness and treatment, particularly in the Black community. She is an advocate for normalizing participation in mental health treatment and assuring that all individuals have access to high-quality, evidence-based mental health care. Inger has written dozens of articles and other publications on trauma and mental health in the Black community and lectures widely on research about barriers to access and engagement in mental health treatment, mindfulness, and strategies to improve mental health treatment participation and outcomes. Quote: “If you want to get something done, ask a black woman”  Black people's pain is always on a spectrum. There is always someone who has it worse off, and for that we should be grateful.” Nobody Knows the Trouble I've Seen: The Emotional Lives of Black Women by http://www.bigblackbooks.org/reviews/authors/dr-inger-burnett-zeigler/ (Dr. Inger Burnett-Zeigler) Published by http://www.bigblackbooks.org/reviews/publishers/amistad/ (Amistad) on 29 June 2021 Genres: http://www.bigblackbooks.org/reviews/genres/christian/ (Christian), http://www.bigblackbooks.org/reviews/genres/debut/ (Debut), http://www.bigblackbooks.org/reviews/genres/non-fiction/ (Non-fiction), http://www.bigblackbooks.org/reviews/genres/self-help/ (Self-help), http://www.bigblackbooks.org/reviews/genres/african-american/ (African American), http://www.bigblackbooks.org/reviews/genres/womanism/ (Womanism) Pages: 256 Format: http://www.bigblackbooks.org/reviews/formats/hardcover/ (Hardcover)  ABOUT THE HOST Miriam is a Certified Trauma Informed Coach, an African, a mom of three daughters, a blogger and writer. After graduating from the London School of Economics, she built her international career in the fields of banking and international development, working for organisations such as the World Economic Forum, Lombard Odier Private Bank, JP Morgan, the Mastercard Foundation and the United Nations. She now uses her passion for psychology and dedicates her time to coaching others to free themselves from the burden of childhood trauma. Her wish to help other women connect to their inner wisdom, love themselves and follow their passion. In her effort to destigmatize mental health and normalize mental health conversations in black communities, she wrote her memoir about surviving childhood and finding her worth.  CONTACT METHOD https://www.instagram.com/_miriamnjoku/ (Instagram: @_miriamnjoku/) https://m.facebook.com/Miriam-Njoku-Blog-101556541466195/ (Facebook)  https://ca.linkedin.com/in/miriamnjoku (Linkedin) CLUBHOUSE: @miriamnjoku. #overcomingyourstory #overcomingyourstorypodcast #family...

Episode 32 This week, Miriam connects with her listeners to wish them a wonderful holiday season, read them and healing prayer and say the episode will take a break and release the next episode on January 12, 2022 Key Takeaways Update Ancient Prayer read twice Holiday Season Wishes These are words you can write to yourself or read them out loud. (This ancient blessing was created in the Nahuatl language, spoken in Mexico. It deals with forgiveness, affection, detachment, and liberation). “I release my parents from the feeling that they have failed me. I release my children from the need to bring pride to me; that they may write their own ways according to their hearts, that whisper all the time in their ears. I release my partner from the obligation to complete myself. I do not lack anything, I learn with all beings, all the time. I thank my grandparents and ancestors who have gathered so that I can breathe life today. I release them from past failures and unfulfilled desires, aware that they have done their very best to resolve their situations within the consciousness they had at that moment. I honor you, I love you and I recognize you as innocent. I am transparent before your eyes, so they know that I do not hide or owe anything other than being true to myself and to my very existence, that walking with the wisdom of the heart, I am aware that I fulfill my life purpose, free from invisible and visible family loyalties that might disturb my Peace and Happiness, which are my only responsibilities. I renounce the role of savior, of being one who unites or fulfills the expectations of others. Learning through, and only through, LOVE, I bless my essence, my way of expressing, even though somebody may not understand me. I understand myself because I alone have lived and experienced my history; because I know myself, I know who I am, what I feel, what I do and why I do it. I respect and approve of myself. I honor the Divinity in me and in you. We are free.”  ABOUT THE HOST Miriam is a Certified Trauma Informed Coach, an African, a mom of three daughters, a blogger and writer. After graduating from the London School of Economics, she built her international career in the fields of banking and international development, working for organisations such as the World Economic Forum, Lombard Odier Private Bank, JP Morgan, the Mastercard Foundation and the United Nations. She now uses her passion for psychology and dedicates her time to coaching others to free themselves from the burden of childhood trauma. Her wish to help other women connect to their inner wisdom, love themselves and follow their passion. In her effort to destigmatize mental health and normalize mental health conversations in black communities, she wrote her memoir about surviving childhood and finding her worth.  CONTACT METHOD https://www.instagram.com/_miriamnjoku/ (Instagram: @_miriamnjoku/) https://m.facebook.com/Miriam-Njoku-Blog-101556541466195/ (Facebook)  https://ca.linkedin.com/in/miriamnjoku (Linkedin) CLUBHOUSE: @miriamnjoku. #overcomingyourstory #overcomingyourstorypodcast #family #scapegoat #goldenchild #parentification #control #boundaries #triangulation #awareness #familydynamics #s #familyenmeshment #mentalhealth #mentalhealthwellness #mentalhealthstigma #loyalty #familybond #familydynamics #toxicfamily #narcissisticmother #narcissisticparent #narcissisticmother #guilt #shame #cameroon #individuation #emotionalresilience #healing #traumainformedcoach #coach  

Episode 31 - Invisible Loyalties: Ties That Bind Us Miriam is doing a Family Dynamics Series and the week's episode is about Invisible Loyalties, those strong ties that bind us to our family, village, group, country and that hurt us in the long run. This is a fascinating episode especially during this holiday season. The concept was coined by https://www.amazon.ca/Ivan-Boszormenyi-Nagy/e/B001H6RY5U/ref=dp_byline_cont_book_1 (Ivan Boszormenyi-Nagy) in his book of the same name Invisible Loyalties. KEY TAKEAWAYS  What are invisible loyalties What happens to the bond we have to our family in case of trauma and abuse Why are family ties so strong? Consequences of invisible loyalties Self-sabotage and playing small Releasing invisible, harmful loyalties and choosing visible ties. The courage to choose freedom RESSOURCES Article by Miriam Njoku on medium: https://medium.com/@MiriamNjoku (Invisible Ties That Bind Us) Invisible Loyalties by https://www.amazon.ca/Ivan-Boszormenyi-Nagy/e/B001H6RY5U/ref=dp_byline_cont_book_1 (Ivan Boszormenyi-Nagy)  ABOUT THE HOST Miriam is a Certified Trauma Informed Coach, an African, a mom of three daughters, a blogger and writer. After graduating from the London School of Economics, she built her international career in the fields of banking and international development, working for organisations such as the World Economic Forum, Lombard Odier Private Bank, JP Morgan, the Mastercard Foundation and the United Nations. She now uses her passion for psychology and dedicates her time to coaching others to free themselves from the burden of childhood trauma. Her wish to help other women connect to their inner wisdom, love themselves and follow their passion. In her effort to destigmatize mental health and normalize mental health conversations in black communities, she wrote her memoir about surviving childhood and finding her worth.  CONTACT METHOD https://www.instagram.com/_miriamnjoku/ (Instagram: @_miriamnjoku/) https://m.facebook.com/Miriam-Njoku-Blog-101556541466195/ (Facebook)  https://ca.linkedin.com/in/miriamnjoku (Linkedin)

Episode 30: Miriam recently had an experience with implicit bias and she wants us to think about how as a society we can think about overcoming implicit bias. Every human being has implicit bias and often they are unconscious. How do we bring our biases to the conscious realm in order to release them. I have been encountering implicit bias and racism since I was a teenager. How do we bring these biases to the conscious mind, change them and adopt new perspectives that allow the inclusion of members of racial minorities, women and LGBT+ groups. How do we as a society work on our biases because they hurt certain groups who encounter them time and again KEY TAKEAWAYS  How an innocent encounter at the doctor's took a run turn Tears! What tears? I don't cry in public! "We are going to exceptionally accomodate you!" "My colleague convinced herself that it was you" Implicit Bias and how they hurt people ABOUT THE HOST Miriam is a Certified Trauma Informed Coach, an African, a mom of three daughters, a blogger and writer.  After graduating from the London School of Economics, she built her international career in the fields of banking and international development, working for organisations such as the World Economic Forum, Lombard Odier Private Bank, JP Morgan, the Mastercard Foundation and the United Nations. She now uses her passion for psychology and dedicates her time to coaching others to free themselves from the burden of childhood trauma.  Her wish to help other women connect to their inner wisdom, love themselves and follow their passion. In her effort to destigmatize mental health and normalize mental health conversations in black communities, she wrote her memoir about surviving childhood and finding her worth. CONTACT METHOD https://www.instagram.com/_miriamnjoku/ (Instagram: @_miriamnjoku/) https://m.facebook.com/Miriam-Njoku-Blog-101556541466195/ (Facebook)  https://ca.linkedin.com/in/miriamnjoku (Linkedin) CLUBHOUSE: @miriamnjoku.

Episode 29 The Golden Child and Scapegoat Dynamic Miriam is doing a Family Dynamics Series and the week's episode is about The Golden Child and the Scapegoat in the Family, these are two roles that siblings can take in a dysfunctional family. KEY TAKEAWAYS  Update about your host Gold Child and Scapegoat definition Characteristics of the Golden Child Characteristics of the Scapegoat The Relationship between the Golden Child and The Scapegoat Triangulation The consequences on the adult who grew up as the golden child or as a scapegoat How to get out of these roles Your host's experience  ABOUT THE HOST Miriam is a Certified Trauma Informed Coach, an African, a mom of three daughters, a blogger and writer. After graduating from the London School of Economics, she built her international career in the fields of banking and international development, working for organisations such as the World Economic Forum, Lombard Odier Private Bank, JP Morgan, the Mastercard Foundation and the United Nations. She now uses her passion for psychology and dedicates her time to coaching others to free themselves from the burden of childhood trauma. Her wish to help other women connect to their inner wisdom, love themselves and follow their passion. In her effort to destigmatize mental health and normalize mental health conversations in black communities, she wrote her memoir about surviving childhood and finding her worth.  CONTACT METHOD https://www.instagram.com/_miriamnjoku/ (Instagram: @_miriamnjoku/) https://m.facebook.com/Miriam-Njoku-Blog-101556541466195/ (Facebook)  https://ca.linkedin.com/in/miriamnjoku (Linkedin) CLUBHOUSE: @miriamnjoku. #overcomingyourstory #overcomingyourstorypodcast #family #scapegoat #goldenchild #parentification #control #boundaries #triangulation #awareness #familydynamics #s #familyenmeshment #mentalhealth #mentalhealthwellness #mentalhealthstigma #loyalty #familybond #familydynamics #toxicfamily #narcissisticmother #narcissisticparent #narcissisticmother #guilt #shame #cameroon #individuation #emotionalresilience #healing #traumainformedcoach #coach  

What happens when the first daughter of a family who takes care of her siblings gains entrance into a boarding and has to leave home? This week's episode is the illustration of what poverty, instability in the home, family enmeshment and parentification does to a young woman trying to find her place in the world. The episode is based on the New York Times article by Andrea Elliot titled "When Dasani Left Home: What happens when trying to escape poverty means separating from your family at 13? KEY TAKEAWAYS  It is not easy breaking away from intergenerational patterns Even with a strong will to do different, it is hard to do so without adequate support Parentification has consequences Dasani has a chance for a better life The burden and guilt of being the first in the family to... Miriam's analysis of this article And more... RESOURCES https://www.nytimes.com/2021/09/28/magazine/dasani-invisible-child.html (New York Times Article) Book about Dasani's story: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0812986946/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&language=en_US&tag=publiweekl05-20 (Invisible Child) ABOUT THE HOST Miriam is a Certified Trauma Informed Coach, an African, a mom of three daughters, a blogger and writer.  After graduating from the London School of Economics, she built her international career in the fields of banking and international development, working for organisations such as the World Economic Forum, Lombard Odier Private Bank, JP Morgan, the Mastercard Foundation and the United Nations. She now uses her passion for psychology and dedicates her time to coaching others to free themselves from the burden of childhood trauma.  Her wish to help other women connect to their inner wisdom, love themselves and follow their passion. In her effort to destigmatize mental health and normalize mental health conversations in black communities, she wrote her memoir about surviving childhood and finding her worth.   CONTACT METHOD https://www.instagram.com/_miriamnjoku/ (Instagram: @_miriamnjoku/) https://m.facebook.com/Miriam-Njoku-Blog-101556541466195/ (Facebook)  https://ca.linkedin.com/in/miriamnjoku (Linkedin) CLUBHOUSE: @miriamnjoku. #overcomingyourstory #overcomingyourstorypodcast #family #intergenerationaltrauma #safety #childhood #gaslighting #boundaries #space #awareness #familydynamics #poverty #parentification #enmeshment #mentalhealthwellness #family #loyalty #familybond #familydynamics #toxicfamily #africa #nigeria #ghana #kenya #cameroon #community #violence #fear # #home #mentor #selfdiscovery  #shame #guilt

Episode 27: Narcissistic Mother. Miriam is doing a Family Dynamics Series and the second episode is about the Narcissistic Mother. . KEY TAKEAWAYS  What is a narcissistic mother? The traits of a narcissistic mother Manipulation techniques that she uses How the child develops themselves in relationship to the narcissistic mother The golden child and the black sheep My own experience Consequences of growing up with a narcissistic mother How to heal yourself And more... QUOTE Self-trust, self-love, and self-knowledge can be taught to a daughter only by a mother who possesses those qualities herself. - Dr. Karyl McBride, from Will I Ever Be Good Enough RESOURCES Will I ever be good enough, Karyl McBride ABOUT THE HOST Miriam is a Certified Trauma Informed Coach, an African, a mom of three daughters, a blogger and writer.  After graduating from the London School of Economics, she built her international career in the fields of banking and international development, working for organisations such as the World Economic Forum, Lombard Odier Private Bank, JP Morgan, the Mastercard Foundation and the United Nations. She now uses her passion for psychology and dedicates her time to coaching others to free themselves from the burden of childhood trauma.  Her wish to help other women connect to their inner wisdom, love themselves and follow their passion. In her effort to destigmatize mental health and normalize mental health conversations in black communities, she wrote her memoir about surviving childhood and finding her worth.   CONTACT METHOD https://www.instagram.com/_miriamnjoku/ (Instagram: @_miriamnjoku/) https://m.facebook.com/Miriam-Njoku-Blog-101556541466195/ (Facebook)  https://ca.linkedin.com/in/miriamnjoku (Linkedin) CLUBHOUSE: @miriamnjoku. #overcomingyourstory #overcomingyourstorypodcast #family #intergenerationaltrauma #safety #childhood #gaslighting #boundaries #space #awareness #familydynamics #narcissist #narcissisticabuse #narcissisticmother #mentalhealthwellness #goldenchild #loyalty #familybond #familydynamics #toxicfamily #toxicfamilydynamics #africa #nigeria #ghana #kenya #cameroon #community #individuation #fear #blacksheep #gaslighting #mentor #selfdiscovery  #shame #guilt

Miriam speaks with Ebere Okonkwo from Lagos Nigeria. Ebere is the Founder of MyCareBuddy, an online platform that offers Nigerians mental health care and consultation in a non-judgmental space. Our guest is also a mental health advocate, writer and spoken word artist. . KEY TAKEAWAYS  What experiences led Ebere to found MyCareBuddy We talk about the mental heath stigma she has experienced The entrepreneurial journey that brought her to create MyCareBuddy How it is not easy for young people to speak about mental health issues What she wishes to see change in African families Importance for parents to start building a relationship with their children when they are small The role of the "big sister" in African families and the consequences of such a role We discuss imposter syndrome based on an article Ebere wrote on Linkedin The importance of writing as a means of emotional release And More... . BEST MOMENTS "it would be nice to have an African communities, African families, an atmosphere that encourages openness between an among fellow family members between and among siblings, and especially very important, but importantly, between parents and the children. " VALUABLE RESOURCES https://www.mycarebuddy.org/ (MyCareBuddy) Ebere Okonkwo Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ebere-okonkwo-mycarebuddy/ ABOUT THE GUEST Entrepreneur | Founder at MyCareBuddy | Mental Health Advocate | Writer | Spoken Word Artist I am a mental health advocate who lives and breathes to see everyone has access to unhindered mental health care, especially in Nigeria. In pursuance of this, I founded Mycarebuddy where we provide online mental health care services to users. CONTACT METHOD: Ebere's email : ebymary.okonkwo@gmail.com MyCareBuddy: we.care@mycarebuddy.org ABOUT THE HOST Miriam is a Trauma Informed Coach, an African, a mom of three daughters, a blogger and writer.  After graduating from the London School of Economics, she built her international career in the fields of banking and international development, working for organisations such as the World Economic Forum, Lombard Odier Private Bank, JP Morgan, the Mastercard Foundation and the United Nations. She now uses her passion for psychology and dedicates her time to coaching others to free themselves from the burden of childhood trauma.  Her wish to help other women connect to their inner wisdom, love themselves and follow their passion. In her effort to destigmatize mental health and normalize mental health conversations in black communities, she wrote her memoir about surviving childhood and finding her worth.   CONTACT METHOD https://www.instagram.com/miriamnjoku_/ (Instagram: @)miriamnjoku_ https://m.facebook.com/Miriam-Njoku-Blog-101556541466195/ (Facebook)  https://ca.linkedin.com/in/miriamnjoku (Linkedin) CLUBHOUSE: @miriamnjoku #overcomingyourstory #overcomingyourstorypodcast #mentalillness#mentalhealthstigma #mentalhealth #mentalhealthwellness #Nigerian #childhood #stigmatized #africanfamilies #breakingthesilence #mentalhealthawareness #community #lagos #entrepreneur #depression #writer#antidepressants #mentalhealthadvocate #selfdiscovery #safespace

Episode 24: Family Enmeshment. Miriam is doing a Family Dynamics Series and the first episode is about Enmeshment. Enmeshed family bonds are those that lack boundaries between family members. . KEY TAKEAWAYS  Why is it important to talk about family emotional enmeshment Dynamics of an enmeshed family and how the child is viewed Blurred boundaries, parentification and reversal of roles How A child in an enmeshed family behaves The role of guilt in emotionally enmeshed families Not being assertive and avoiding conflict as adults Dynamics of a healthy family What you need to do now if you grew up like this or if you are a parent and this was your reality. And more... ABOUT THE HOST Miriam is a Certified Trauma Informed Coach, an African, a mom of three daughters, a blogger and writer.  After graduating from the London School of Economics, she built her international career in the fields of banking and international development, working for organisations such as the World Economic Forum, Lombard Odier Private Bank, JP Morgan, the Mastercard Foundation and the United Nations. She now uses her passion for psychology and dedicates her time to coaching others to free themselves from the burden of childhood trauma.  Her wish to help other women connect to their inner wisdom, love themselves and follow their passion. In her effort to destigmatize mental health and normalize mental health conversations in black communities, she wrote her memoir about surviving childhood and finding her worth. CONTACT METHOD https://www.instagram.com/_miriamnjoku/ (Instagram: @_miriamnjoku/) https://m.facebook.com/Miriam-Njoku-Blog-101556541466195/ (Facebook)  https://ca.linkedin.com/in/miriamnjoku (Linkedin) CLUBHOUSE: @miriamnjoku. #overcomingyourstory #overcomingyourstorypodcast #family #intergenerationaltrauma #safety #parentification #control #boundaries #space #awareness #familydynamics #enmeshment #familyenmeshment #mentalhealth #mentalhealthwellness #mentalhealthstigma #loyalty #familybond #familydynamics #toxicfamily #toxicfamilydynamics #africa #nigeria #ghana #kenya #cameroon #community #individuation #fear #community #change #mentor #selfdiscovery  #shame #guilt

Miriam speaks with Author Petrona Joseph from Montreal who just released her book yesterday September 7 titled Stigmatized: Breaking the Silence and Demystifying Mental Illness. Petrona Joseph, previously featured on Breakfast Television, is the blogger behind Montreal-based ‘http://slayeditmontreal.com/slayed/ (Slayedit Montreal).' As a trilingual Concordia graduate in linguistics, her love first love is writing; she is also an author and a mental health advocate who seeks to demystify mental illness in the Black Community. . KEY TAKEAWAYS  What led Petrona to write this very personal book that is touching many people's lives Born in Trinidad and Tobago, Petrona tells us about her childhood Despite her struggles growing up, Petrona built a life of her own Myths about mental health in the black community An important conversation about antidepressants How her book has been received and her hopes for the book How childhood struggles led Petrona into codependent relationships How Petrona got involved with the occult and how she broke that cycle Seeking help for mental illness What to do if somebody is suicidal And More... . BEST MOMENTS "You could feel my depression, but you couldn't see it" "We need to listen to black women and men, black men, we need to acknowledge people's feelings." VALUABLE RESOURCES Link to buy your copy of https://www.amazon.ca/Stigmatized-Breaking-Silence-Demystifying-Illness/dp/B09FC9Y6M8/ref=zg_bsnr_943272_16?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=TFM67Q69DNPKRW8VZC8H (Stigmatized: Breaking The Silence and Demystifying Mental Illness. ) ABOUT THE GUEST Author Petrona Joseph who just released her book yesterday September 7 titled Stigmatized: Breaking the Silence and Demystifying Mental Illness. Petrona Joseph, previously featured on Breakfast Television, is the blogger behind Montreal-based ‘http://slayeditmontreal.com/slayed/ (Slayedit Montreal).' She is also a mental health advocate and nominee for author of the year. As a trilingual Concordia graduate in linguistics, her love first love is writing; she is also an author and a mental health advocate who seeks to demystify mental illness in the Black Community. CONTACT METHOD: Petrona Joseph Instagram: @Iampetronajoseph ABOUT THE HOST Miriam is a Trauma Informed Coach, an African, a mom of three daughters, a blogger and writer.  After graduating from the London School of Economics, she built her international career in the fields of banking and international development, working for organisations such as the World Economic Forum, Lombard Odier Private Bank, JP Morgan, the Mastercard Foundation and the United Nations. She now uses her passion for psychology and dedicates her time to coaching others to free themselves from the burden of childhood trauma.  Her wish to help other women connect to their inner wisdom, love themselves and follow their passion. In her effort to destigmatize mental health and normalize mental health conversations in black communities, she wrote her memoir about surviving childhood and finding her worth.   CONTACT METHOD https://www.instagram.com/miriamnjoku_/ (Instagram: @)miriamnjoku_ https://m.facebook.com/Miriam-Njoku-Blog-101556541466195/ (Facebook)  https://ca.linkedin.com/in/miriamnjoku (Linkedin) CLUBHOUSE: @miriamnjoku #overcomingyourstory #overcomingyourstorypodcast #mentalillness#creative #mentalhealth #mentalhealthwellness #mentalhealthstigma #childhood #stigmatized #petronajoseph #breakingthesilence #mentalhealthawareness #community #trinidad #trinidadandtobago #depression #suicideprevention #antidepressants #selfcare #author #mentalhealthadvocate #montreal #canada #selfdiscovery #church #demystifyingmentalillness

Episode 23: Miriam dives into limiting beliefs which are thoughts, opinions that one believes to be the absolute truth. How many times have you told yourself you can't do something? Sadly this means we don't get to experience certain things because of our limiting beliefs. . KEY TAKEAWAYS  How limiting beliefs can hold us back How limiting beliefs can shape our lives How limiting beliefs show up in our lives and can hold us back Different examples of limiting beliefs Why does Miriam talk about a baby elephant? How do we overcome limiting beliefs? How are limiting beliefs linked to trauma? And More... ABOUT THE HOST Miriam is a Certified Trauma Informed Coach, an African, a mom of three daughters, a blogger and writer.  After graduating from the London School of Economics, she built her international career in the fields of banking and international development, working for organisations such as the World Economic Forum, Lombard Odier Private Bank, JP Morgan, the Mastercard Foundation and the United Nations. She now uses her passion for psychology and dedicates her time to coaching others to free themselves from the burden of childhood trauma.  Her wish to help other women connect to their inner wisdom, love themselves and follow their passion. In her effort to destigmatize mental health and normalize mental health conversations in black communities, she wrote her memoir about surviving childhood and finding her worth.   CONTACT METHOD https://www.instagram.com/_miriamnjoku/ (Instagram: @_miriamnjoku/) https://m.facebook.com/Miriam-Njoku-Blog-101556541466195/ (Facebook)  https://ca.linkedin.com/in/miriamnjoku (Linkedin) CLUBHOUSE: @miriamnjoku. #overcomingyourstory #overcomingyourstorypodcast #limitingbeliefs #trauma #corebeliefs #negativeselftalk #freedom #dare #youcan #awareness #alternativebeliefs #selfconfidence #creative #mentalhealth #mentalhealthwellness #mentalhealthstigma #beliefs #experience #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #nigeria #ghana #kenya #cameroon #community #babyelephant #selfcare #africa #mentalwellness #parent #dare #selftherapy #meditation #visualization #selfsabotage #fear #community #change #awareness #selfdiscovery 

Episode 21: Miriam speaks with Arnold Etoua, a Cameroonian/American therapist. This is a fascinating conversation in which Arnold and I discuss the first 19 years of his life spent in Cameroon, a country we are both from. I thank Arnold for his openness and vulnerability in discussing his childhood. . KEY TAKEAWAYS  Arnold's education in Cameroon and the US No one believed in Arnold's future but he had something to prove What led Arnold to Study Psychology Arnold's work as a therapist The consequences of the trauma Arnold went through and how manages them How the past can show up in parenting Talking about your feelings as an African man, a man does not make you weak The mask of masculinity and its effects on men Arnold's relationship to his home country And More...  .Arnold's email: aetoua@gatewayfoundation.org Linkedin: https://my.captivate.fm/Arnold%20Etoua (Arnold Etoua )  . #overcomingyourstory #overcomingyourstorypodcast #mentalillness#creative #mentalhealth #mentalhealthwellness #mentalhealthstigma #childhood #mother #uncle #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #parents #cameroon #community #immigration #selfcare #africa #mentalwellness #parent #dare #selftherapy #meditation #diaspora #home #community #healingthroughart #selfdiscovery #trauma #childhood #childhoodtrauma #purpose #passiontopurpose #emotions #awareness #breakthestigma #psychology #coach #traumarecovery

Episode 21: Miriam speaks with Arnold Etoua, a Cameroonian/American therapist. This is a fascinating conversation in which Arnold and I discuss the first 19 years of his life spent in Cameroon, a country we are both from. I thank Arnold for his openness and vulnerability in discussing his childhood. . KEY TAKEAWAYS  Arnold's daily life after his mom moves to the US What drove Arnold to feel hopeless growing up How Arnold saw the adults in his life What happened when Arnold missed school for a whole year? Why does Arnold say "nobody cared?" What happened when Arnold reunites with his mom? And More...  . . . Linkedin: Arnold Etoua  . #overcomingyourstory #overcomingyourstorypodcast #mentalillness#creative #mentalhealth #mentalhealthwellness #mentalhealthstigma #childhood #mother #uncle #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #parents #cameroon #community #immigration #selfcare #africa #mentalwellness #parent #dare #selftherapy #meditation #diaspora #home #community #healingthroughart #selfdiscovery 

Today Miriam talks about narcissistic abuse based on a book my French Psychologist, Isabelle Nazare-Aga called in French "Les Manipulateurs sont Parmi Nous", literally "Manipulators Are Among Us" she read many years ago that helped her get out of her second manipulative relationship. KEY TAKEAWAYS  What are the two types of manipulators/narcissists According to the author, the 30 traits of a manipulator/narcissist How manipulators/narcissists choose their "victims" The Consequences of being in a relationship With a Manipulator/Narcissists Relationship With a Narcissist: Miriam's experience The two phases of a relationship with a Narcissist/Manipulator How to get out of such a relationship BEST MOMENTS “And how does it even start that a person becomes a manipulator? It starts in childhood, it's a defense mechanism. It's a way of survivor where they attack and belittle others in order to feel valuable. ” “They are constantly the focus of conversation among people who know them, even if they are not present. ” VALUABLE RESOURCES Isabelle Nazare-Aga author of "Les Manipulateurs sont Parmi Nous: https://www.isabellenazare-aga.com/ (website in French) https://www.amazon.ca/Books-Isabelle-Nazare-Aga/s?rh=n%3A916520%2Cp_27%3AIsabelle+Nazare-Aga (Les Manipulateurs Sont Parmi Nous on amazon) ABOUT THE HOST Miriam is a Certified Trauma Informed Coach, an African, a mom of three daughters, a blogger and writer.  After graduating from the London School of Economics, she built her international career in the fields of banking and international development, working for organisations such as the World Economic Forum, Lombard Odier Private Bank, JP Morgan, the Mastercard Foundation and the United Nations. She now uses her passion for psychology and dedicates her time to coaching others to free themselves from the burden of childhood trauma.  Her wish to help other women connect to their inner wisdom, love themselves and follow their passion. In her effort to destigmatize mental health and normalize mental health conversations in black communities, she wrote her memoir about surviving childhood and finding her worth.   CONTACT METHOD https://www.instagram.com/_miriamnjoku/ (Instagram: @_miriamnjoku/) https://m.facebook.com/Miriam-Njoku-Blog-101556541466195/ (Facebook)  https://ca.linkedin.com/in/miriamnjoku (Linkedin) CLUBHOUSE: @miriamnjoku

In this interview, Miriam speaks Kabasigyi Mulera, an African Canadian Creative. She is a multifaceted creative (photography, videography, writing, spoken word) and a psychology student. She is presently based in Uganda KEY TAKEAWAYS  Growing up in a predominantly White city in Canada and racism Why she went back to school to study psychology Why uncovering our core is important How Kabasigyi discovered herself How our guest navigated self-esteem issues The importance of community for mental wellness Accepting herself wholly and not rejecting some parts How writing and Afrobeats have helped her heal And More... BEST MOMENTS “I would definitely say I'm very introspective. So like, I like to reflect and deal with things. So if I know something is bothering me, I will, you know, want to unpack.” “if there's something that you've really been wanting to do, just do it this year, just do it.” RESOURCES https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7XfOyuBSb_k (Patoranking - Celebrate Me) WHERE TO FIND KB MULERA Instagram: @kbmulera https://www.shesamukiga.online/ (She's a Mukiga portfolio: ) https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5Qvnyy44U84GealHwdXSlG (Kabasigyi's Afrobeats Therapy Playlist: ) https://payhip.com/b/YIxgQ (God Made Me African - Poetic Memoir by KB Mulera) ABOUT THE HOST Miriam is a Trauma Informed Coach, an African, a mom of three daughters, a blogger and writer.  After graduating from the London School of Economics, she built her international career in the fields of banking and international development, working for organisations such as the World Economic Forum, Lombard Odier Private Bank, JP Morgan, the Mastercard Foundation and the United Nations. She now uses her passion for psychology and dedicates her time to coaching others to free themselves from the burden of childhood trauma.  Her wish to help other women connect to their inner wisdom, love themselves and follow their passion. In her effort to destigmatize mental health and normalize mental health conversations in black communities, she wrote her memoir about surviving childhood and finding her worth.   CONTACT METHOD Instagram: @overcomingyourstory https://www.instagram.com/_miriamnjoku/ (Instagram: @)miriamnjoku_ https://m.facebook.com/Miriam-Njoku-Blog-101556541466195/ (Facebook)  https://ca.linkedin.com/in/miriamnjoku (Linkedin) miriamnjoku.com/podcast Facebook Group : Overcoming Your Story CLUBHOUSE: @miriamnjoku

In the Part two of the discussion with Hawa Noor, Hawa and Miriam explore what is means to have a healthy self esteem. In this second part of the interview, Miriam speaks to her friend Hawa who she met at the Mastercard Foundation in Toronto. Hawa is a journalist, creative writer, researcher, editor and artist from Kenya who is based in Toronto, Canada. They explore self-esteem KEY TAKEAWAYS  How Hawa and Miriam thought they had high self-esteem, high self-confidence How self-esteem issues showed up How Hawa discovered she did not have a high self-esteem after all Miriam believed she belonged to a group to which the good things life don't happen Accepting and celebrating achievements How does low self-esteem show up in relationships, friendship, at work, dating? The thoughts low self-esteem leave us with and how we manage them How to work on your self-esteem And More... BEST MOMENTS “do you remember anytime, so you took in your success?” “I wasn't like getting to where I thought I had to be as quickly as I needed to, there was a lot of pressure around me to get there anytime. Something wouldn't go right, it would really just like, just bring me down for amounts of times that weren't healthy.” WHERE TO FIND HAWA Instagram: @hawaroll Website: https://www.hawanoor.com/blog ABOUT THE HOST Miriam is a Trauma Informed Coach, an African, a mom of three daughters, a blogger and writer.  After graduating from the London School of Economics, she built her international career in the fields of banking and international development, working for organisations such as the World Economic Forum, Lombard Odier Private Bank, JP Morgan, the Mastercard Foundation and the United Nations. She now uses her passion for psychology and dedicates her time to coaching others to free themselves from the burden of childhood trauma.  Her wish to help other women connect to their inner wisdom, love themselves and follow their passion. In her effort to destigmatize mental health and normalize mental health conversations in black communities, she wrote her memoir about surviving childhood and finding her worth.   CONTACT METHOD Instagram: @overcomingyourstory https://www.instagram.com/_miriamnjoku/ (Instagram: @)miriamnjoku_ https://m.facebook.com/Miriam-Njoku-Blog-101556541466195/ (Facebook)  https://ca.linkedin.com/in/miriamnjoku (Linkedin) miriamnjoku.com/podcast Facebook Group : Overcoming Your Story CLUBHOUSE: @miriamnjoku

In this episode, Miriam speaks to her friend Hawa who she met at the Mastercard Foundation in Toronto. Hawa is a journalist, creative writer, researcher, editor and artist from Kenya who is based in Toronto, Canada. KEY TAKEAWAYS  Learn for what reasons Kenya is considered home for Hawa How Hawa moved back home working in her community and reconnecting with the people How Hawa started questioning who she is apart from the group How to find your place in the group What does an unhealthy or healthy group dynamic mean for its members? The importance of compassion and tenderness among members of a group Finding the right balance between helping family members and taking care of self And much more... BEST MOMENTS “I think that just sitting and honoring where you're at, even if like life is moving, and you have to push through and you don't really have the option to stop, to really internally honor where you're at, ” “That's really when I started to think about who am I apart from the group? ” “⎡When⎦care and concern, and interest and tenderness is given to especially like young people and young children, and people growing by the elders in the family. To me, that's the group,” WHERE TO FIND HAWA Instagram: @hawaroll Website: https://www.hawanoor.com/blog ABOUT THE HOST Miriam is a Trauma Informed Coach, an African, a mom of three daughters, a blogger and writer.  After graduating from the London School of Economics, she built her international career in the fields of banking and international development, working for organisations such as the World Economic Forum, Lombard Odier Private Bank, JP Morgan, the Mastercard Foundation and the United Nations. She now uses her passion for psychology and dedicates her time to coaching others to free themselves from the burden of childhood trauma.  Her wish to help other women connect to their inner wisdom, love themselves and follow their passion. In her effort to destigmatize mental health and normalize mental health conversations in black communities, she wrote her memoir about surviving childhood and finding her worth.   CONTACT METHOD Instagram: @overcomingyourstory https://www.instagram.com/_miriamnjoku/ (Instagram: @)miriamnjoku_ https://m.facebook.com/Miriam-Njoku-Blog-101556541466195/ (Facebook)  https://ca.linkedin.com/in/miriamnjoku (Linkedin) miriamnjoku.com/podcast Facebook Group : Overcoming Your Story CLUBHOUSE: @miriamnjoku

Doyin Anibaba, MD, Mental health awareness Our guest today is Doyin Anibaba. She is a medical doctor with a particular interest in mental health. She is the founder of Wellforte, a platform through which she raises awareness about mental health, mental illnesses and reduces stigmas around mental health. She has counseled people both on- and offline. In this episode Miriam and Doyin explore asking for help, myths and facts about mental health and how to show support for someone struggling with their mental health. KEY TAKEAWAYS Myths and facts about mental health, mental illnesses Why people are scared to be associated with mental illnesses Mental health challenges are more common than we think Myths about taking medication to cure mental illnesses How best to support a friend/family member struggling with their mental health And more . QUOTES Mental illnesses are mental challenges are common. Don't feel like you're all alone because you're not all alone. If someone comes to you, and they tell you that this is what they're going through. This is what you're struggling with the past is don't be judgmental. Listen, don't judge them. VALUABLE RESOURCES: Book: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/9420697-the-compound-effect (The compound effect: Jumpstart Your Income, Your Life, Your Success) ABOUT THE GUEST Doyin Anibaba, MD Medical doctor raising awareness about mental health, educating people on mental illnesses and reducing the stigmas around mental health Find Doyin on Instagram @wellforte https://www.instagram.com/thewellforte/ ABOUT THE HOST Miriam is a Trauma Informed Coach, an African, a mom of three daughters, a blogger and writer.  After graduating from the London School of Economics, she built her international career in the fields of banking and international development, working for organisations such as the World Economic Forum, Lombard Odier Private Bank, JP Morgan, the Mastercard Foundation and the United Nations. She now uses her passion for psychology and dedicates her time to coaching others to free themselves from the burden of childhood trauma.  Her wish to help other women connect to their inner wisdom, love themselves and follow their passion. In her effort to destigmatize mental health and normalize mental health conversations in black communities, she wrote her memoir about surviving childhood and finding her worth.   CONTACT METHOD https://www.instagram.com/_miriamnjoku/ (Instagram: @_miriamnjoku/) https://www.facebook.com/groups/708620923189819 (Facebook)  https://ca.linkedin.com/in/miriamnjoku (Linkedin) CLUBHOUSE: @miriamnjoku

DESCRIPTION In this episode, Miriam talks about shame, silence and secrets and how they affect us. She explores what shame is and how it affects our mental health. Shame and silence are linked and it creates isolation. She shares her own journey and adds in there the idea of secrets that we don't share and they eat us up from the inside. KEY TAKEAWAYS  Shame can affect our mental health, it thrives on secrets we believe we have to protect Secrets can be harmful for our mental and physical health and also our relationships Miriam explores her relationship with shame, isolation and silence. She craved connection but shame kept her isolated from the people around her. She shares how she finally released herself from shame How the secrets we keep have power over us and sometimes we keep them longer than necessary She suggests some ways you can release shame and become less isolated. She is available to do this work with you as a trauma recovery coach.   BEST MOMENTS  "They say Time heals all wounds. But in the case of trauma, that's now not how it goes." “Many things happen to you, but the gem that you are still in there in you. So it's a matter of giving voice to those feelings of shame. naming them out” “Sometimes we have secrets that we we're so scared that we come and destroy everything. And then we don't even realize when the secret has no power anymore. And we keep it and sometimes people keep secrets with a lifetime that they could actually read themselves of and find freedom.”  BOOK RECOMMENDATION  https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/98399.Healing_the_Shame_that_Binds_You (Healing The Shame That Binds You, John Bradshaw) https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/98399.Healing_the_Shame_that_Binds_You (Youtube John Bradshaw - Healing the Shame That Binds You ) ABOUT THE HOST Miriam is a Trauma Informed Coach, an African, a mom of three daughters, a blogger and writer. After graduating from the London School of Economics, she built her international career in the fields of banking and international development, working for organisations such as the World Economic Forum, Lombard Odier Private Bank, JP Morgan, the Mastercard Foundation and the United Nations. She now uses her passion for psychology and dedicates her time to coaching others to free themselves from the burden of childhood trauma. Her wish to help other women connect to their inner wisdom, love themselves and follow their passion. In her effort to destigmatize mental health and normalize mental health conversations in black communities, she wrote her memoir about surviving childhood and finding her worth.  CONTACT METHOD miriamnjoku.com https://www.instagram.com/_miriamnjoku/ (Instagram: )https://www.instagram.com/overcomingyourstory/ (Overcomingyourstory) Instagram: @_miriamnjoku https://m.facebook.com/Miriam-Njoku-Blog-101556541466195/ (Facebook)  https://ca.linkedin.com/in/miriamnjoku (Linkedin) CLUBHOUSE: @miriamnjoku

Our guest today is Amanda Iheme is a psychotherapist and architecture photographer based in Lagos. She is founder of Ndidi Private Mental Health Practice in Lagos, Nigeria. Amanda is a therapist and architecture photographer. In this episode Miriam and Amanda explore mental health, childhood trauma, seeking help in the Nigerian, African context. KEY TAKEAWAYS Why Amanda chose to become a therapist How trauma affects the adult's life How Nigerians are not allowed to complain about what is hurting them especially if it is emotional How the Covid pandemic hals helped people recognize the importance of mental health What clients she sees at her practice and the issues they bring How she takes care of her mental health as psychotherapist And more QUOTES "The shame really comes from the culture to be honest, it makes people think that these negative things that are happening to them, it's okay, and it's normal for it to happen." "I know how to manage my own emotions, and if it goes beyond what I know I am capable of I have friends who are emotionally intelligent around me. They can support me, I can ask them questions, I can seek their point of view. And I know that they will always be honest with me or hold me accountable, and they will support me in that kindness when possible." VALUABLE RESOURCES Figuring by Maria Popova (https://www.brainpickings.org/) Childcare and the Growth of Love, John Bowlby Dreams and Nightmares: The Origin And Meaning of Dreams, Ernest Hartmann ABOUT THE GUEST Amanda Iheme Psychotherapist and Architecture Photographer, Founder of Ndidi Mental Health Private Practice Find Amanda on Instagram at Website: https://www.ndidi.me/ Contact: T. +2347063238701 E: support@ndidi.me Website: amandaiheme.com IG: @n.d.i.d.i IG: @amandaiheme ABOUT THE HOST Miriam is a Trauma Informed Coach, an African, a mom of three daughters, a blogger and writer.  After graduating from the London School of Economics, she built her international career in the fields of banking and international development, working for organisations such as the World Economic Forum, Lombard Odier Private Bank, JP Morgan, the Mastercard Foundation and the United Nations. She now uses her passion for psychology and dedicates her time to coaching others to free themselves from the burden of childhood trauma.  Her wish to help other women connect to their inner wisdom, love themselves and follow their passion. In her effort to destigmatize mental health and normalize mental health conversations in black communities, she wrote her memoir about surviving childhood and finding her worth.   CONTACT METHOD https://www.instagram.com/_miriamnjoku/ (Instagram: @_miriamnjoku/) https://www.facebook.com/groups/708620923189819 (Facebook)  https://ca.linkedin.com/in/miriamnjoku (Linkedin) CLUBHOUSE: @miriamnjoku

https://omny.fm/shows/overcoming-your-story/011-oys?in_playlist=overcoming-your-story!podcast#tab-description (Description) In this episode Miriam explores the idea of being a feminist in the African context. The inspiration for the episode came from listening to rooms about feminism on Clubhouse    KEY TAKEAWAYS  We should not deny their pain when women come forward and share about what they went through.  "These are our traditions", "we've always done it this way should not be an excuse to continue oppressing women. Accepting there is a problem is a first step  Women and girls are socialized differently from men and boys giving each group a different experience, it takes coming together and making an effort to understand to be able to break the break the stronghold of patriarchy Women being uplifted and treated with equity in society means the whole society is better off, even the men are better off with empowered women.  BEST MOMENTS “Women in my family were married off like that we know without any education” “A woman who is educated, we sustain more people in her family event, we have to change things, and we have to work together." “When a person is silent for so long, when they start talking, they will not talk in a very smooth and constructed way, they will come across, angry, frustrated, and different things” VALUABLE RESOURCES Book: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/201111.Unbowed (Unbowed by Wangari Maathai) ABOUT THE HOST Miriam is a Trauma Informed Coach, an African, a mom of three daughters, a blogger and writer.  After graduating from the London School of Economics, she built her international career in the fields of banking and international development, working for organisations such as the World Economic Forum, Lombard Odier Private Bank, JP Morgan, the Mastercard Foundation and the United Nations. She now uses her passion for psychology and dedicates her time to coaching others to free themselves from the burden of childhood trauma.  Her wish to help other women connect to their inner wisdom, love themselves and follow their passion. In her effort to destigmatize mental health and normalize mental health conversations in black communities, she wrote her memoir about surviving childhood and finding her worth.   CONTACT METHOD https://www.instagram.com/_miriamnjoku/ (Instagram: @_miriamnjoku/) https://www.facebook.com/groups/708620923189819 (Facebook Group) : Overcoming Your Story https://ca.linkedin.com/in/miriamnjoku (Linkedin) CLUBHOUSE: @miriamnjoku

In this earnest and moving episode, Miriam speaks to Patience Abonge a trauma awareness activist. Patience opens up about her own mental health journey, the message she is trying to get out to the world and how she is using this to help others.   KEY TAKEAWAYS    There is no one who is going to believe in your more than yourself. Patience grew up living with her grandmother and auntie. At first, she thought her auntie was actually her mother but later realised she was not. This affected her psychologically at such a young age. One of patience’s driving forces to changing her outlook and the way she lives her life is her daughter. She doesn’t want her daughter to have to experience the same trauma she did. She wants her daughter to be able to express herself however she wishes and the only way she can truly do that is be an example for her and create a lasting legacy. Although patience recognises that her family have been supportive, she knows that they still do not really understand poor mental health, the complexity of it and her own personal struggles. This made her determined to use her story to both inspire and teach others about the true seriousness and impact of mental health. Often we shame our real feelings, especially around mental health. This means that people do not know what you are going through but it also means those who are struggling in the same way don’t know to reach out. By talking about our own mental health and struggles we can build communities and support networks. The mother wound is real. In order to heal and move on we have accept our mothers for who they are and let go of who we think they should have been to us as children.   BEST MOMENTS   “No one knows you better than yourself”   “I am going to talk about mental health, I would use my story to inspire those who are struggling and trying to make the African community understand that mental health can actually kill someone”   “What am I leaving behind to empower others?”   “If we share knowledge, if we talk, these things will not continue” VALUABLE RESOURCES   ABOUT THE GUEST Patience Abonge From silence to speaker.A journey from the other side of the wall❤️ Find Patience on Instagram at IG: @patienceabonge IG: @freemindsfoundation   ABOUT THE HOST Miriam is a Trauma Informed Coach, an African, a mom of three daughters, a blogger and writer.  After graduating from the London School of Economics, she built her international career in the fields of banking and international development, working for organisations such as the World Economic Forum, Lombard Odier Private Bank, JP Morgan, the Mastercard Foundation and the United Nations. She now uses her passion for psychology and dedicates her time to coaching others to free themselves from the burden of childhood trauma.  Her wish to help other women connect to their inner wisdom, love themselves and follow their passion. In her effort to destigmatize mental health and normalize mental health conversations in black communities, she wrote her memoir about surviving childhood and finding her worth.   CONTACT METHOD https://www.instagram.com/_miriamnjoku/ (Instagram: @_miriamnjoku/) https://m.facebook.com/Miriam-Njoku-Blog-101556541466195/ (Facebook)  https://ca.linkedin.com/in/miriamnjoku (Linkedin) CLUBHOUSE: @miriamnjoku See https://omnystudio.com/listener (omnystudio.com/listener) for privacy information.

In this episode Miriam talks about the art of healing and how it can not only transform ourselves but also impact those around us. So many families are scarred by generational trauma, if we work to heal it in ourselves we can avoid passing on it on to our children.   KEY TAKEAWAYS  We inherit many things from our families, genes, traditions and trauma too. We learn negative and unhelpful ways of dealing and coping with situations from those surrounding us growing up, which then affects all areas of our lives. Anxiety and depression in adulthood can be a consequence of suffering from generational trauma. We often don’t know where the source of these problems are, but if we can unpick what patterns we have created and unburden ourselves from the shame then we can begin to heal. It takes a conscious effort to recognise these patterns of behaviour and change them. Just because we talk about and face generational trauma, it doesn’t mean we are criticising our parents or blaming them in any way. Often parents and families are just trying to get through life and survive, in any way they know how. Generational trauma comes with a lot of secrets that are not allowed to be talked about. When there are secrets and shame, people cannot talk freely, so these things manifest in other ways.   BEST MOMENTS   “The people who bear the burden are the weakest members of the family, most of the time, these are children”   “Children get born into fears and feelings that do not belong to them”   “To transform something we have to recognise, with compassion, that certain patterns are fruit of trauma, pain and oppression”   VALUABLE RESOURCES Book: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/26026054-it-didn-t-start-with-you (It didn't start with you by Mark Wolynn)   ABOUT THE HOST Miriam is a Trauma Informed Coach, an African, a mom of three daughters, a blogger and writer.  After graduating from the London School of Economics, she built her international career in the fields of banking and international development, working for organisations such as the World Economic Forum, Lombard Odier Private Bank, JP Morgan, the Mastercard Foundation and the United Nations. She now uses her passion for psychology and dedicates her time to coaching others to free themselves from the burden of childhood trauma.  Her wish to help other women connect to their inner wisdom, love themselves and follow their passion. In her effort to destigmatize mental health and normalize mental health conversations in black communities, she wrote her memoir about surviving childhood and finding her worth.   CONTACT METHOD https://www.instagram.com/_miriamnjoku/ (Instagram: @_miriamnjoku/) https://m.facebook.com/Miriam-Njoku-Blog-101556541466195/ (Facebook)  https://ca.linkedin.com/in/miriamnjoku (Linkedin) CLUBHOUSE: @miriamnjoku See https://omnystudio.com/listener (omnystudio.com/listener) for privacy information.

In this episode, Miriam speaks to Emmanuela who she met at Mastercard Foundation. Emmanuela was born in Kenya but has been living in Canada since 2013. Emmanuela talks about her upbringing, mental health and the expectations of others so many of us carry throughout our lives. KEY TAKEAWAYS  Emmanuela grew up in northern Kenya, with a typical African upbringing including having a strong support system around her. She says she grew up socially and culturally rich but economically she was poor. So, although they didn’t have much she was happy. But, this was the driving force behind her wanting to see how big the world is and to study. After doing well in her studies, Emmanuela learnt about being able to apply and study abroad, so she decided to go for it and in 2013 she went to Toronto to study and is still there today. Emmanuela found herself suffering with imposter syndrome, which she struggled with for quite some time. It caused both overwhelm and depression and the only way she managed to get out of this was by seeking help, driven by the love for her family. Emmanuela went to therapy, including CBT and other talking therapies. In doing this she discovered that music was also a part of her healing and is something that still helps her now. In 2017, Emmanuela wrote and directed the documentary Invisible Despair, her aim was to highlight the struggles she knew other students would be going through and to find out what kind of support was needed to help them: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fopk5UEo5Os (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fopk5UEo5Os)     BEST MOMENTS   “I grew up socially and culturally rice, but economically I was poor”   “There is such a price to pay when we are the first, in the family to leave your country, the first to go to university”   “I needed to bring all voices together so we could really find out where the breakdown in communication was and where do we need to invest in supporting our students”   “You put up a good fight then realize it’s time to let it go” VALUABLE RESOURCES Invisible Despair Documentary 2017, Written and directed by Emmanuela Alimlim https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fopk5UEo5Os (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fopk5UEo5Os)   ABOUT THE HOST Miriam is a Trauma Informed Coach, an African, a mom of three daughters, a blogger and writer.  After graduating from the London School of Economics, she built her international career in the fields of banking and international development, working for organisations such as the World Economic Forum, Lombard Odier Private Bank, JP Morgan, the Mastercard Foundation and the United Nations. She now uses her passion for psychology and dedicates her time to coaching others to free themselves from the burden of childhood trauma.  Her wish to help other women connect to their inner wisdom, love themselves and follow their passion. In her effort to destigmatize mental health and normalize mental health conversations in black communities, she wrote her memoir about surviving childhood and finding her worth.   CONTACT METHOD https://www.instagram.com/_miriamnjoku/ (Instagram: @_miriamnjoku/) https://m.facebook.com/Miriam-Njoku-Blog-101556541466195/ (Facebook)  https://ca.linkedin.com/in/miriamnjoku (Linkedin) CLUBHOUSE: @miriamnjoku See https://omnystudio.com/listener (omnystudio.com/listener) for privacy information.

Today Miriam talks about what she has been learning at her weekly class at the mind and body institute. She has been finding out different techniques she can use to manage herself and feel whole. Such as eating mindfully, creating, meditations and more. In this episode she shares what she has learnt about forgiveness, of others and of yourself.   KEY TAKEAWAYS  It's been really helpful for Miriam to learn the various techniques, it has been helping her know what tools she has to manage her life, especially in regards to emotions and mindfulness. This past weeks session was about spirituality and the second task they focused on was forgiveness meditation. It was such a powerful thing for Miriam to discover which is why she wants to share it with others. Forgiveness Meditation: Sit comfortably and close your eyes, imagine a chair opposite you, put someone you need to forgive in that chair. Tell them what you forgive them for. Once you have told them this, bring them closer to your heart. You can also use this technique to ask for forgiveness from others and to forgive yourself. BEST MOMENTS “I have different ways to express them” “It was so powerful, I cried the whole time” VALUABLE RESOURCES https://www.instagram.com/connectingstories/?hl=en (https://www.instagram.com/connectingstories/?hl=en) Forgiveness Meditation - Jack Kornfield https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PbHKCy4f6Dk (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PbHKCy4f6Dk) ABOUT THE HOST Miriam is a Trauma Informed Coach, an African, a mom of three daughters, a blogger and writer.  After graduating from the London School of Economics, she built her international career in the fields of banking and international development, working for organisations such as the World Economic Forum, Lombard Odier Private Bank, JP Morgan, the Mastercard Foundation and the United Nations. She now uses her passion for psychology and dedicates her time to coaching others to free themselves from the burden of childhood trauma.  Her wish to help other women connect to their inner wisdom, love themselves and follow their passion. In her effort to destigmatize mental health and normalize mental health conversations in black communities, she wrote her memoir about surviving childhood and finding her worth.   CONTACT METHOD https://www.instagram.com/_miriamnjoku/ (Instagram: @_miriamnjoku/) https://m.facebook.com/Miriam-Njoku-Blog-101556541466195/ (Facebook)  https://ca.linkedin.com/in/miriamnjoku (Linkedin) CLUBHOUSE: @miriamnjoku See https://omnystudio.com/listener (omnystudio.com/listener) for privacy information.

Overcoming Your Story is geared towards black women, how they can connect with themselves, unleash their power and step out of their limiting beliefs. So, in this episode, Miriam speaks to Ify, a coach, teacher and trainer who helps black women manage their emotions and relationships. Ify opens up about her own story, why she does the work she does and the many obstacles she had to overcome to get her where she is today. KEY TAKEAWAYS  Ify was born in the UK but grew up in Nigeria. Her Dad was very passionate about her having an African upbringing. This was partly due to the racism he experienced in the UK. Ify recognises that she grew up loved and protected but having a traditional African upbringing meant she didn’t really have a mind of her own. This is something she discovered as she got older, the career path her parents wanted her to take in medicine did not come easy to her, this affected her relationship with her father.  After not achieving what was expected of her, the relationship with her father deteriorated further. There was no conversation to be had around what she wanted but instead disappointment from her Dad for not achieving what he expected. Every child is different. When parents decide on set paths, they aren’t taking into account the differences and preferences of that child. They are a unique person with their own identity but this isn’t always considered. Being the first Daughter of an African family meant that Ify had so much pressure put on her. She was supposed to be responsible, accountable and successful. It was a big weight to bear. Getting into project management and running professional courses is how Ify built her career. She has always loved working with people and building relationships so this was perfect for her. Ify has always been friends with multiple groups of people. Even at school she was able to build relationships with many different types of women and when she reconnects with these women years later the foundation of the relationship is still there. It has followed her throughout her life.     BEST MOMENTS   “There was so much racism he experienced that he refused for us to have Christian names”   “I didn’t really have a mind of my own”   “I was sick on the inside, the reality that I was going down this path that I wasn’t supposed to go down”   “I love people, I love working with people, I love talking to people”   VALUABLE RESOURCES https://www.instagram.com/connectingstories/?hl=en (https://www.instagram.com/connectingstories/?hl=en) ABOUT THE GUEST Ify Is a Certified Coach, Teacher and Trainer. She is also a program manager and host of the Connecting Stories podcast aimed at empowering women and families in the black community.   https://www.instagram.com/connectingstories/?hl=en (https://www.instagram.com/connectingstories/?hl=en)     ABOUT THE HOST Miriam is a Trauma Informed Coach, an African, a mom of three daughters, a blogger and writer.  After graduating from the London School of Economics, she built her international career in the fields of banking and international development, working for organisations such as the World Economic Forum, Lombard Odier Private Bank, JP Morgan, the Mastercard Foundation and the United Nations. She now uses her passion for psychology and dedicates her time to coaching others to free themselves from the burden of childhood trauma.  Her wish to help other women connect to their inner wisdom, love themselves and follow their passion. In her effort to destigmatize mental health and normalize mental health conversations in black communities, she wrote her memoir about surviving childhood and finding her worth.   CONTACT METHOD...

In this episode, Miriam talks about the father wound. She explores her own relationship with her father and discusses the impact of his abandonment on her forming and building relationships as an adult. KEY TAKEAWAYS  Miriam’s mother married her father very young. Her father was a prince and had multiple wives. Her mother had grown up knowing him as a visitor of her grandad but he then asked to marry her. She moved in with him to a compound where his main house was and where all his wives and children lived. There was a lot of tension due to favouritism, it was not a good situation to be living in and created a lot of jealously, insecurity and negativity. This is how Miriam was brought into the world. Her mother ran away from this situation and Miriam and her sister were brought up by family for the beginning of their lives. For a lot of Miriam’s life she had a fascination with her father. She would see him in men that she walked by on the street and would look for him everywhere she went. She decided she needed to try and make contact with her father and and reconcile her feelings about him.  She got into contact with her father via letter and they communicated for one year before her father painfully died suddenly. She never got the opportunity to go to Cameroon to meet him and talk with him in person as an adult, this still hurts her but she has now managed to start to heal this father wound. When we recognise patterns we gain awareness, this is how we can start to heal our trauma and forgive others and ourselves for what has happened to us in the past.    BEST MOMENTS   “One man, many children, one husband, many wives”   “I’m stretching my arms and there is no one to take them as a father figure”   “I just kept looking for my father everywhere I go”   “Is my father wound gone? I don’t think so but I’m not so bothered by it”   ABOUT THE HOST Miriam is a Trauma Informed Coach, an African, a mom of three daughters, a blogger and writer.  After graduating from the London School of Economics, she built her international career in the fields of banking and international development, working for organisations such as the World Economic Forum, Lombard Odier Private Bank, JP Morgan, the Mastercard Foundation and the United Nations. She now uses her passion for psychology and dedicates her time to coaching others to free themselves from the burden of childhood trauma.  Her wish to help other women connect to their inner wisdom, love themselves and follow their passion. In her effort to destigmatize mental health and normalize mental health conversations in black communities, she wrote her memoir about surviving childhood and finding her worth.   CONTACT METHOD https://www.instagram.com/_miriamnjoku/ (Instagram: @_miriamnjoku/) https://m.facebook.com/Miriam-Njoku-Blog-101556541466195/ (Facebook)  https://ca.linkedin.com/in/miriamnjoku (Linkedin) CLUBHOUSE: @miriamnjoku See https://omnystudio.com/listener (omnystudio.com/listener) for privacy information.

Miriam is joined in this episode by Tatiana from Washington DC. Tatiana is currently a food photographer whilst working on a variety of business ideas including a simple syrup product. They met on clubhouse talking about their childhood and today they discuss Tatiana's upbringing, her difficulties in life as an adult and the culture in Cameroon.   KEY TAKEAWAYS  Tatiana was born in Cameroon and lived there until she was 9. She then moved with her aunt to both Italy and Spain until eventually settling in France. As an adult, she then decided to move to the USA. Tatiana always felt safe growing up but she suffered a lot of disruption and had a very strict upbringing. She spent most of her childhood adapting and adjusting and meeting the expectations of her family rather than developing herself as a child. When living in France it dawned on Tatiana that the people that raised her until she was 9 were no longer there. Her aunt wasn’t very supportive because of how culturally she dealt with these types of situations, she felt very alone. When Tatiana’s aunt had her own children, Tatiana became almost a second parent to her cousins and she resented this. Tatiana recognises that she wanted for nothing as a child physically and that her aunt loved her. But as an adult she feels like her aunt and family were over-protective and this led to her being ill-equipped to deal with the world as an adult. Because Tatiana did not understand why her family made the decisions they did about her upbringing she made her own mind up. This meant she harboured a lot of anger which was quite destructive to areas of her life, she didn’t feel like she could be completely open with people, she was reserved and didn’t know how to communicate effectively in relationships. The consequences of her growing up quickly, having responsibilities early and not being able to be a child or teenager meant she didn’t learn all the things she should have done, especially in regards to communication, emotions and relationships. Tatiana and Miriam agree that a lot of the cultural norms in African culture come from the fact that they are from countries where historically you are having to always be in survival mode. It’s a day-to-day mentality and it’s a difficult a long process to try and change this.     BEST MOMENTS   “When you’re younger you move around and then when you are older you start moving yourself around”   “I learned and matured quickly, I matured so fast I became inadequate as an adult”   “You can’t tell a child to grow up then tell them to act like a child…which one is it?”   “It shows that you have a mind of your own and that you know who you are”   “I carried anger for so long it was paralysing”   “I didn’t know what truly loving someone looked like because I didn’t learn”   ABOUT THE GUEST Hi! My name is Tatiana, and I'm a proud dog mom, Assistant Director turned student. I enjoy long walks on the beach, the smell red roses and contemplating the sky for hours. Just kidding! Not a fan of any of those things. Seriously though, my friends describe me as easy going, fun to be around and cook extraordinaire. If you don't believe me check my Instagram @latelierdc. Cheers!!   ABOUT THE HOST Miriam is a Trauma Informed Coach, an African, a mom of three daughters, a blogger and writer.  After graduating from the London School of Economics, she built her international career in the fields of banking and international development, working for organisations such as the World Economic Forum, Lombard Odier Private Bank, JP Morgan, the Mastercard Foundation and the United Nations. She now uses her passion for psychology and dedicates her...

  Miriam is an avid reader and does a lot of continuous research on trauma and trauma recovery. A couple of years ago she came across an article on time and prolonged trauma that shook her. In this episode she talks about the article, how she experiences time and why a sense of foreshortened future is a trauma response.   KEY TAKEAWAYS  If somebody has been tortured or had prolonged trauma a common outcome can be that they lose faith in humanity. After a complicated and difficult childhood Miriam came into adulthood already tired. The way she experienced time was warped, she did not experience time like other people. She had a distrust in time as a result of trauma and it would make her feel like she didn’t have a future, that she wouldn’t meet the normal milestones most people do. This result came from being beaten, not being nurtured and is a trauma response. It is called a sense of foreshortened future. If you have negative thoughts about the future it’s important to tackle them and challenge them head on. Break the cycles formed by this negative way of thinking, start by setting small goals and begin to build something else.     BEST MOMENTS   “You have a distrust in time and that is an effect of trauma, it makes you feel as if you don’t have a future”   “Being stuck in fear in childhood we become adults that are unable to project themselves into the future”   “It’s important to not be so scared of the future, it can really hold us back and keep us stuck”   VALUABLE RESOURCES Link to full article: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4166378/ (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4166378/) Link to overview of Coping with a Foreshortened Future:  https://www.verywellmind.com/coping-with-a-foreshortened-future-ptsd-2797225 (https://www.verywellmind.com/coping-with-a-foreshortened-future-ptsd-2797225) ABOUT THE HOST Miriam is a Trauma Informed Coach, an African, a mom of three daughters, a blogger and writer.  After graduating from the London School of Economics, she built her international career in the fields of banking and international development, working for organisations such as the World Economic Forum, Lombard Odier Private Bank, JP Morgan, the Mastercard Foundation and the United Nations. She now uses her passion for psychology and dedicates her time to coaching others to free themselves from the burden of childhood trauma.  Her wish to help other women connect to their inner wisdom, love themselves and follow their passion. In her effort to destigmatize mental health and normalize mental health conversations in black communities, she wrote her memoir about surviving childhood and finding her worth.   CONTACT METHOD Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/overcomingyourstory/ (@overcomingyourstory) https://www.instagram.com/_miriamnjoku/ (Instagram: @_miriamnjoku/) https://m.facebook.com/Miriam-Njoku-Blog-101556541466195/ (Facebook)  https://ca.linkedin.com/in/miriamnjoku (Linkedin) CLUBHOUSE: @miriamnjoku See https://omnystudio.com/listener (omnystudio.com/listener) for privacy information.

Today Miriam welcomes Brenda Chuinkam onto the podcast. Brenda is a designer, entrepreneur, blogger and many other things! She is one of 4 children and is very pro-African, especially in regards to the culture and fashion.   In this episode they talk about mental health, being authentic and trauma. KEY TAKEAWAYS  Brenda’s Dad was a diplomat which meant her and her family moved around a lot, each sibling was born in a different country! Brenda was raised multiculturally and was well travelled at a young age thanks to her Dad’s job. From a young age, Brenda has always been able to adapt to new situations and get along/form relationships with many different types of people. When Brenda was 17 she decided she wanted to lose weight after seeing a photo of herself. She lost over 60 pounds in 7 months, demonstrating that when Brenda was determined about something she would make it happen. After she had lost the weight she realised that she had become to obsessed with food and calories and she wasn’t enjoying food anymore. She went to university and gained a stone, this is when she decided to learn more about exercise and nutrition and learned how to maintain a healthy weight in a positive way. Brenda’s mum started her own business which meant she wasn’t at home as much as she was previously, she got a tutor for Brenda. Devastatingly this tutor sexually assaulted her, she kept it a secret as he asked, it went on for over a year. It wasn’t until Brenda was in her late 20s that she shared this with people. In Cameroon, there is a practice called breast ironing, it is a process to suppress breast growth and the reasoning given behind it is to stop male attention. Brenda’s Grandmother decided to start ironing Brenda’s breasts when she started puberty, it was extremely traumatising but her Grandmother didn’t feel like she was doing anything wrong, she was following tradition and thought she was helping Brenda.   As a child, Brenda was an extrovert but she took on shame from the sexual assault and breast ironing she devastatingly had to experience and it mean she became introverted and not herself for many years.   Being in the Western world and learning about many different people who were easily themselves, via the internet and magazines, really helped Brenda find herself again. It made her want more for herself.   Brenda has always prioritised herself as an adult. If she needs a day off she takes a day off. Generally, her mental health is an 8 or 9 out of 10. She believes it also helps that she has such a great support system. She has been sad before but hasn’t ever suffered from depression as an adult.   BEST MOMENTS   “As a child for me it was always exciting”   “You’re very authentic, you’re very real, I like how you share yourself because you don’t pretend”   “It was being in the Western world that helped me”   “I always take care of myself, I always prioritise myself” "We just need a place where we can talk about it"   VALUABLE RESOURCES Website: https://melapteh.com/ IG:https://www.instagram.com/theankaraqueen/ ( )https://www.instagram.com/theankaraqueen/ (https://www.instagram.com/theankaraqueen)/ ABOUT THE GUEST Brenda Chuinkam is a young Afropreneur based in Canada with a love for all things African. Born in Gabon, raised in the USA and Cameroon but a citizen of Canada, her rich upbringing and diverse background is a pure reflection of her colourful personality. Her fun and unique ability to share everyday life experiences while looking very stylish has enabled her to amass quite a large community on social media. As the Founder of an e-commerce that strives to give back to the Cameroonian community...

In this episode, Miriam wants to talk about going to therapy as a black African woman.   Miriam is the only person in her family to go to therapy and has started sharing what she has learnt with them and wants to be open and honest about her experiences. She hopes that her own experience of therapy will aid her in coaching others, particularly in regards to overcoming trauma and finding a way forward.  We all deserve to take control of our lives and we all have the power within us to change things.   KEY TAKEAWAYS  Why is it so difficult for many cultures in Africa to go to therapy? There’s a lot of shame and taboo attached to going to therapy, many people see it as a last resort, that you would only go if there is no hope for you. Miriam first went to therapy when she started her masters degree. During her first session, she spent the whole time crying. Recounting her family history and her upbringing was so hard, she decided to park the idea of therapy for a while. Towards the end of her degree she had a nervous breakdown where she could not do anything. It was the first time she was unable to study for an exam but thankfully her previous hard work meant she still passed. After her degree Miriam moved back to Switzerland, after seeing a GP she was diagnosed with chronic depression and decided to see a therapist again. Finding the right therapist can be extremely difficult. It took Miriam quite some time to find the right one, she didn’t feel comfortable or understood with the first therapist she saw. She was later matched with a therapist that at first she questioned but she actually ended up having a great connection with this therapist who ended up helping Miriam start her work. Although Miriam has stopped and started therapy for various reasons over the years, she has learnt something from each session and every therapist. Miriam believes that if we do not talk about emotional pain it stays within us and makes us sick, both mentally and physically.   BEST MOMENTS   “It felt like starting over and over again”   “The fear of failing has always followed me”   “I was so scared because I had this conviction deep down that my mother didn’t love me”   “That was a huge relief it was like the first mental block had been lifted”   “We have to free ourselves from our stories”   “I cannot be the mother I want to be, or the wife I want to be, without being the person I want to be for myself”   VALUABLE RESOURCES ABOUT THE HOST Miriam is a Trauma Informed Coach, an African, a mom of three daughters, a blogger and writer.  After graduating from the London School of Economics, she built her international career in the fields of banking and international development, working for organisations such as the World Economic Forum, Lombard Odier Private Bank, JP Morgan, the Mastercard Foundation and the United Nations. She now uses her passion for psychology and dedicates her time to coaching others to free themselves from the burden of childhood trauma.  Her wish to help other women connect to their inner wisdom, love themselves and follow their passion. In her effort to destigmatize mental health and normalize mental health conversations in black communities, she wrote her memoir about surviving childhood and finding her worth.   CONTACT METHOD Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/overcomingyourstory/ (@overcomingyourstory) https://www.instagram.com/_miriamnjoku/ (Instagram: @_miriamnjoku/) https://m.facebook.com/Miriam-Njoku-Blog-101556541466195/ (Facebook)  https://ca.linkedin.com/in/miriamnjoku (Linkedin) CLUBHOUSE: @miriamnjoku See https://omnystudio.com/listener (omnystudio.com/listener) for privacy information.

In this episode, Miriam interviews her friend, a teacher and filmmaker, Telma Diaz. Telma was born in Portugal to her mum who was from Guinea-Bissau and her Portuguese Dad. Telma moved to Guinea-Bissau for a couple of years whilst her mum set up their life Switzerland, Telma then spent most of her childhood and teens in Geneva before moving to England.   Telma discusses her difficult childhood, her experience of racism in Switzerland and her passion and determination that got her to where she is today. KEY TAKEAWAYS  When Telma was living in Guinea-Bissau she found it very different to Portugal where she was used to having freedom. It is how she learnt a lot about her African roots. When Telma lived in Portugal people saw her as African and when she was living in Guinea-Bissau people saw her as white, it made he feel like she never truly belonged anywhere.   Telma then moved to Switzerland and the difference to where she had been living was shocking. She was very grateful to be given all the opportunities she was in Switzerland but back in the 80s when she was there it was quite racist which she unfortunately experienced a lot, especially in school.   Telma found the racism in Switzerland more difficult to deal with then the physical beatings she experienced in Guinea-Bissau. The racism never stopped, no matter how much she tried to adapt it was always there and seriously affected her mental health.   At 7 years old, Telma’s Dad left. This was heart-breaking to Telma, she had no one to talk to that understood her struggles as her mum was going through the same thing as her.   When on holiday in England Telma saw Trevor McDonald presenting the news on TV and was gobsmacked, she had never seen a black person presenting on TV before. She also noticed black policeman and the fact that people were friendly and nice to her and her mum. They were accepted, it was a stark contrast to her experiences and treatment in switzerland.   At 17 after staying with a host family in England Telma decided she wanted to live there. Her mum agreed that she could live there as long as she completed school in Switzerland. She moved to England at 19 and learnt to speak English fluently within a year. She then went to university, became a filmmaker and is now a teacher. Her experiences with teachers in Switzerland means that she knows exactly what not to do and vows to always be accepting and encouraging to her students.   BEST MOMENTS   “In a way I felt like I never belonged anywhere”   “I felt like I was beaten up by words”   “It could be the best country, but not as a black woman”   “What I went through is part of me”   “The weather was rubbish but the people were so nice”   “Acceptance is key” VALUABLE RESOURCES https://myswissexperiences.com/ https://www.instagram.com/tdiasdebrito/ ABOUT THE HOST Miriam is a Trauma Informed Coach, an African, a mom of three daughters, a blogger and writer.  After graduating from the London School of Economics, she built her international career in the fields of banking and international development, working for organisations such as the World Economic Forum, Lombard Odier Private Bank, JP Morgan, the Mastercard Foundation and the United Nations. She now uses her passion for psychology and dedicates her time to coaching others to free themselves from the burden of childhood trauma.  Her wish to help other women connect to their inner wisdom, love themselves and follow their passion. In her effort to destigmatize mental health and normalize mental health conversations in black communities, she wrote her memoir about surviving childhood and finding her worth.     ABOUT THE GUEST “My name is Telma...

Welcome to the first episode of Overcoming Your Story by your host Miriam Njoku. Miriam has a passion for psychology and uses this and her own experiences to coach others and help them free themselves from the burdens of childhood trauma. She is trying to destigmatise many topics in African culture, including discussions around mental health and aims to help as many women as she can live a more successful and liberating life.   In this episode, Miriam talks about her own story as an African daughter. Mother-daughter relationships are a delicate topic, but it’s important to talk about things that are difficult, especially if it can help you heal and provide a template and learning that can help others do the same. KEY TAKEAWAYS  There is a lot of taboo and shame around admitting you have a difficult relationship with your mother. But Miriam believes by being honest and relaying her feelings she can move forward.   Miriam was born after her mother had lost a child at 8 months old and was in a marriage she did not choose. Her mother was under a lot of pressure and was very unhappy with her life, her mother ran away and left Miriam and her sister with their great grandmother whilst she worked and sent money to look after them. Eventually Miriam’s mother did have her daughters move and live with her in Switzerland but by this time Miriam and her sister had suffered a lot of pain and trauma, it felt too late.   What happened was never discussed or approached, it meant that Miriam stayed angry with her mother and it would sometimes show itself in seemingly unrelated situations. She couldn’t let go of the feelings of abandonment.     After starting her own family, Miriam decided to challenge the notion of always respecting your mother and sat her mother down and talked to her about her trauma and her true feelings. Miriam knew it was hard for her mother to listen to but it was important for her to know and listen to these things.   A culture has to be for the people, the moment it no longer works for the people we need to start questioning it. Many African women have difficult relationships with their parents and there are many issues with fear of abandonment, we need to challenge this.     BEST MOMENTS   “No topic is off limits on the Overcoming Your Story podcast”  “Inside I was still very angry but I would not show it” “I was trying to take care of everyone’s emotions apart from mine” “We had to break that generational burden” “Many, many African women have difficult relationships with their parents” VALUABLE RESOURCES   ABOUT THE HOST Miriam is a Trauma Informed Coach, an African, a mom of three daughters, a blogger and writer.  After graduating from the London School of Economics, she built her international career in the fields of banking and international development, working for organisations such as the World Economic Forum, Lombard Odier Private Bank, JP Morgan, the Mastercard Foundation and the United Nations. She now uses her passion for psychology and dedicates her time to coaching others to free themselves from the burden of childhood trauma.  Her wish to help other women connect to their inner wisdom, love themselves and follow their passion. In her effort to destigmatize mental health and normalize mental health conversations in black communities, she wrote her memoir about surviving childhood and finding her worth.     CONTACT METHOD Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/overcomingyourstory/ (@overcomingyourstory) https://www.instagram.com/_miriamnjoku/ (Instagram: @_miriamnjoku/) https://m.facebook.com/Miriam-Njoku-Blog-101556541466195/ (Facebook)  https://ca.linkedin.com/in/miriamnjoku (Linkedin) CLUBHOUSE: @miriamnjoku

Welcome to Overcoming Your Story, a podcast by Miriam Njoku. Miriam is passionate about mental health awareness and particularly childhood trauma and its effects on a person’s life. As a trauma-informed coach, she helps others to free themselves from the burdens of childhood trauma. She wants to destigmatise mental health topics and normalise talking about feelings in the African and black communities with the aim to help as many women as she can live life according to their own terms.   ABOUT THE HOST Miriam is a Trauma Informed Coach, an African, a mom of three daughters, a blogger and writer.  After graduating from the London School of Economics, she built her international career in the fields of banking and international development, working for organisations such as the World Economic Forum, Lombard Odier Private Bank, JP Morgan, the Mastercard Foundation and the United Nations. She now uses her passion for psychology and dedicates her time to coaching others to free themselves from the burden of childhood trauma.  Her wish to help other women connect to their inner wisdom, love themselves and follow their passion. In her effort to destigmatize mental health and normalize mental health conversations in black communities, she wrote her memoir about surviving childhood and finding her worth.     CONTACT METHOD Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/overcomingyourstory/ (@overcomingyourstory) Website: https://www.miriamnjoku.com/ (https://www.miriamnjoku.com/) https://www.instagram.com/_miriamnjoku/ (Instagram: @_miriamnjoku/) https://m.facebook.com/Miriam-Njoku-Blog-101556541466195/ (Facebook) : https://www.facebook.com/Miriam-Njoku-Blog-101556541466195 (Miriam Njoku Blog) https://ca.linkedin.com/in/miriamnjoku (Linkedin): https://www.linkedin.com/in/miriamnjoku/ (Miriam Njoku) CLUBHOUSE: @miriamnjoku See https://omnystudio.com/listener (omnystudio.com/listener) for privacy information.