Sorry, I Missed This: The Everything Guide to ADHD and Relationships with Cate Osborn

Join health and science journalist Danielle Elliot as she investigates the rise of women recently diagnosed with ADHD. Listen to Climbing the Walls now.ADHD and kink might seem like an unexpected pairing, but for a lot of people, they go hand in hand. From rituals that help with focus to play that taps into the need for stimulation, BDSM can be more than just fun — it can be a real tool for regulation and connection.In this episode, host Cate Osborn chats with author and forensic sexologist Stefani Goerlich about how BDSM can actually support ADHD brains by offering structure, sensory input, and clear communication. Related resourcesStefani's website, stefanigeorlich.comStefani's booksTimestamps(02:46) The broad umbrella of ‘kink'(04:16) Focusing on BDSM in particular, and breaking down the acronym(08:38) Kink is always relational, only sometimes sexual(09:48) Why might someone gravitate towards kink/BDSM?(12:30) Common kink myths(15:44) Power exchange, and consent as foreplay(16:32) The benefits of BDSM/kink(18:24) How kink can help with claiming agency(21:10) How negotiated arrangements can take some of the strain off executive function challenges(23:39) What to do when one partner is kinky, and one is not so muchFor a transcript and more resources, visit the Sorry, I Missed This show page on Understood.org. We love hearing from our listeners! Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org. Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Join health and science journalist Danielle Elliot as she investigates the rise of women recently diagnosed with ADHD. Listen to Climbing the Walls now.In theory, online dating can feel like an easy, low-stakes solution to meeting people. But in practice, there are a few pitfalls that many fall into. With ADHD, dating apps can pose even more challenges and be an additional drag on your attention. Clinical Psychologist Dr. Shauna Pollard visits the show to talk about what she's noticed while working with ADHDers on online dating. Join this conversation on the dopamine chase that can happen while using dating apps, and setting boundaries with yourself. Related resourcesDr. Pollard's websiteA dating coach talks ADHD and super-connectingADHD and emotionsTimestamps(01:58) ADHD and online dating challenges(09:17) Hyperfocusing on dating, and how to slow down(11:41) “Marketing yourself” on online dating, and how to show the whole picture of who you are(14:01) Figure out your “filter” for online matches, and include offline dating in addition to online(17:03) Snap judgements, biases, and discrimination(19:02) Feeling overwhelmed? Do what feels best for you(20:02) ADHD disclosure on dating profiles(22:42) Best practices for ADHDers to build meaningful relationshipsFor a transcript and more resources, visit the Sorry, I Missed This page on Understood.org. We love hearing from our listeners! Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org. Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Are ADHD and cheating related? What about weaponized incompetence and ADHD? These are a few questions that surround the ADHD community.Producer Margie visits the podcast for another round of ‘Reddit reactions' with more posts from the ADHD women subreddit. Listen for host Cate Osborn's reactions on a few different scenarios related to cheating and weaponized incompetence.Related resourcesThe National Domestic Violence HotlineThe ADHD Women subredditADHD support for Women by Understood.org's Facebook groupTimestamps(02:00) Post #1 “ADHD and cheating/Adrenaline and dopamine”(09:24) Post #2 “Narcissist cheater and ADHD”(15:30) Post #3 “Does anyone else sometimes identify with those ‘weaponized incompetence' guys you hear about?”(21:22) Post #4 “I'm so tired of trying to compensate for myself AND my partner”(27:51) ADHD can be challenging, and you're not aloneFor a transcript and more resources, visit the Sorry, I Missed This page on Understood.We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org. Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

People with ADHD can often get a bad rap for being “bad listeners.” So, instead of actually listening, we're often focusing on: Do they know I'm listening? Am I making enough eye contact? Do I look engaged?Host Cate Osborn chats with Understood.org Vice President of Expertise and licensed therapist Sarah Greenberg about  the listening strengths and weaknesses that can come with ADHD. They also unpack different modes of listening like listening to understand, listening to solve, and listening to connect.Related resourcesHow attention worksFrom the ADHD Aha! podcast, “Why don't you listen?” Paying attention vs. hearing (Peter's story)Timestamps(00:41) Feeling self-conscious about our ability to listen with ADHD(05:56) Different modes of listening(07:40) Figuring out our listening strengths and weaknesses(14:32) Anecdotal communication(16:48) Asking what a person needs out of a conversation(21:47) What can we do?For a transcript and more resources, visit the Sorry, I Missed This page on Understood.orgWe love hearing from our listeners. Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org. Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Without community, ADHD can feel isolating and shameful. Like you're the only one facing these challenges and “can't get it together.” Community provides a space to share the wins and the embarrassing moments. And it can be especially helpful for women processing late diagnoses.Host of the ADHDAF podcast and UK ADHD community builder, Laura Mears-Reynolds, visits the show to talk about how sharing experiences with others can ease shame, and create support. Related resourcesadhdasfemales.comThe ADHD Women subredditADHD Support for Women by Understood.org's Facebook groupTimestamps(00:57) How do we find value in a community with ADHD?(03:58) How did Laura get started building the ADHDAF community?(09:39) Feeling alone in what you're facing without community(14:36) Being compassionate with others helps us be compassionate with ourselves(18:14) Feeling isolated with ADHD(19:56) How do I find community? How do I build it myself?For a transcript and more resources, visit the Sorry, I Missed This page on Understood.orgWe love hearing from our listeners. Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org. Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

A lot of shame can come up when a person with ADHD is confronted about a mistake they've made. They might start to spiral into bad feelings, and negative self-talk, when really the person bringing up the mistake most likely wants to repair their relationship, and even strengthen their bond.Host Cate Osborn chats to ADHD coach Jaye Lin about why this happens, and what we can do to “reverse the train” to stop the spiral. Jaye is the host of another show on the MissUnderstood podcast channel, Tips from an ADHD Coach. Related resourcesThe MissUnderstood podcast channel (where you can find Jaye's podcast, Tips from an ADHD Coach)ADHD and: ShameADHD and emotionsTimestamps(00:41) Being scared of making mistakes or showing ADHD traits(04:38) “Reversing the train” instead of spiraling when someone brings up a mistake we've made(08:23) Slipping into the shame spiral easily(11:28) Directly addressing the damage caused by your actions, intentional or not(15:51) The element of repair(16:30) Perfectionism and internalized judgement(20:28) Rejection sensitivity and how we react to things(23:19) The “scary moment” when someone brings up your mistake(25:55) Jaye's last piece of adviceFor a transcript and more resources, visit the Sorry, I Missed This page on Understood.We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org. Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Emotional intimacy is about sharing an emotional connection and presence with yourself and other people. But a lot of ADHD traits, and lived experiences, can get in the way. This could be due to trouble with emotional regulation, the emotional labor it takes to feel believed, masking, and more.Michelle Frank is a clinical psychologist and the co-author of A Radical Guide for Women with ADHD. Listen to this conversation exploring how shame can be a roadblock to emotional intimacy, and how this intimacy can look different within every relationship.Related resourcesMichelle's book, A Radical Guide for Women with ADHD by Sari Solden and Michelle FrankTimestamps(02:46) What is emotional intimacy?(04:14) Barriers to emotional intimacy with ADHD(09:33) Shame and ADHD(15:29) What steps can we take to build emotional intimacy?(17:28) Sitting in uncomfortable feelings, and rejection sensitivity(20:48) People pleasing versus building authentic connections(22:36) What about when we're in a relationship without emotional intimacy?(28:41) Where can you find Michelle? For a transcript and more resources, visit the Sorry, I Missed This page on Understood.We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org. Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Romantic partners often support and help each other out with different things. And with ADHD in the relationship, there might be some extra support needed here and there. But what happens when that support crosses the line into parentification, or taking care of your partner like they're your child? Or the other way around, where your partner is responsible for taking care of you?Psychologist Lesley Cook (@lesleypsyd) visits the podcast to talk about how to notice parentification happening in your relationship, and the resentment that can build when it goes unnoticed. Related resourcesLesley's TikTok, @lesleypsydA Radical Guide for Women with ADHD by Sari Solden and Michelle FrankTimestamps(03:03) What is a parentified relationship?(05:37) When an ADHD partner is the “parent” in the relationship or takes on too much responsibility(07:33) Are parentified relationships typically gendered?(08:48) Fairness versus equity in relationships(11:44) Weaponized incompetence(14:49) What happens to a relationship when it's parentified for too long?(17:19) Notice, shift, repair(18:45) What to do when you notice yourself taking on too much responsibility for your partner(21:08) People pleasing, and the need to fix things(22:46) How to ask the right questions to your partner(24:07) Noticing your ADHD at play, and using it as an explanation, not an excuse(28:02) Setting an example as a parent to kids(32:24) Lesley's parting advice(33:00) Where you can find Lesley and creditsFor a transcript and more resources, visit the Sorry, I Missed This page on Understood.We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org. Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Monogamous romantic relationships have been seen as the norm for a long time. They're the kind most commonly represented in the media, often as the only “right” kind of relationship. However, open relationships, polyamory, and other consensual non-monogamous relationships are more common than you might think. People with ADHD often find ways of living life outside of the typical standard. This could include being non-monogamous!Martha Kauppi is a marriage and family therapist and sex therapist. She is the author of the book Polyamory: A Clinical Toolkit for Therapists (And Their Clients). Listen to this conversation on jealousy, reaching agreements with your partner, and what consensual non-monogamy really is.Related resourcesPolyamory: A Clinical Toolkit for Therapists (And Their Clients) by Martha Kauppi8 Steps To Opening Up: Starting The Conversation About Non-Monogamy, a Free eBook by Martha KauppiMartha Kauppi's website, www.instituteforrelationalintimacy.comTimestamps(00:55) Why learn about consensual non-monogamy?(04:04) What is consensual non-monogamy?(05:36) What is the biggest misconception about non-monogamy?(08:40) Building a relationship that works for you, not just what you see in the media(11:46) Viewing non-monogamy as an option in life(15:42) Moving toward consensual non-monogamy in a relational way(21:03) How would you start a conversation about opening your currently monogamous relationship?(24:20) Tips for working through jealousy (25:35) What is compersion?(30:13) It's OK if non-monogamy isn't for you! (32:10) Where can you find Martha? For a transcript and more resources, visit the Sorry, I Missed This page on Understood.We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org. Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

This week, Host Cate Osborn shares an episode from ADHD and, another podcast on the MissUnderstood Podcast channel.  Imagine receiving a “no,” to an idea you've shared in a meeting. Instead of brushing it off, you become overwhelmed with thoughts of self-doubt and a deep sense of rejection.  This intense emotional reaction is known as rejection sensitivity. And many women with ADHD experience it. In this episode, Dr. J explains how ADHD can amplify fears of rejection. Listen in to learn strategies women with ADHD can use to navigate these feelings.Related resourcesADHD and rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD)Emotion sunburn: What rejection sensitive dysphoria feels like to meRejection sensitivity, ADHD drain, and the power of failure (Weston's story)Timestamps(00:00) Introduction from Cate(01:43) Start of ADHD and episode(02:32) What is rejection sensitivity?(04:33) How can rejection sensitivity impact women with ADHD?(05:14) Helpful ways to manage rejection(06:31) What is cognitive reframing?We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org. Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

If you like this show, consider making a donation this holiday season. 100% of your donation will go towards helping us create more podcasts (like this one!). Click here to make a gift today.Have you ever been called a “manic pixie dream girl” by someone you were dating? Is it hard to remember your partner when they're not with you? ADHD can bring its own set of challenges to dating, and romantic relationships.Producer Margie visits the podcast to share what she's found on the ADHD Women subreddit, where women with ADHD ask questions and share their challenges and wins. Listen for Cate's reactions and a chat about common romantic dilemmas for women with ADHD!Related resourcesThe ADHD Women subredditADHD Support for Women by Understood.org's Facebook groupTimestamps(00:00) Women with ADHD communities, and common dating tropes(03:46) Post #1 “I was too much for him”(06:37) Post #2 “I did 12 loads of laundry to avoid writing a dating profile”(11:56) Post #3 “Anyone else chronically feel like they're not in a place where they're ready to date?”(16:27) Post #4 “Having ADHD as a woman and still having to carry the mental load”(22:20) Post #5 “The ADHD struggle of falling in love after every good date”(27:04) Post #6 “Does anyone else struggle with accidentally ignoring their partner or friends?”(34:28) Talking about what gives us shame helps everyoneFor a transcript and more resources, visit the Sorry, I Missed This page on Understood.orgWe love hearing from our listeners. Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org. Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

If you like this show, consider making a donation this holiday season. 100% of your donation will go towards helping us create more podcasts (like this one!). Click here to make a gift today.ADHD can impact pregnancy in a number of ways: Higher rate of postpartum depression, hormone surges that affect the brain's functioning, increased demands on our executive function, and so much more. Our guest this week, Dusty Chipura, is an ADHD and pregnancy expert, ADHD coach, and doula in training. Dusty takes us through pregnancy with ADHD, what you might expect, and what conversations are important to have with your support network ahead of welcoming a baby. Related resourcesA guide to hormones and ADHDADHD and pregnancy workbook by Alix Bacon and Dusty ChipuraDusty's website, vancouveradhdcoaching.comTimestamps(01:27) Some ways ADHD affects pregnancy(02:25) How did Dusty become an expert in ADHD and pregnancy?(04:21) First trimester/early pregnancy and ADHD(05:57) Sensory sensitivities and pregnancy(08:44) Second trimester(13:23) What conversations should we be having with our support system during this time?(17:20) Third trimester(20:04) What happens after the baby is born?(22:33) ADHD and the postpartum period(25:55) Best practices and tools(28:41) Dusty's top tips(30:35) Dealing with parental guilt(31:59) Where you can find DustyFor a transcript and more resources visit the Sorry, I Missed This page on Understood.orgWe love hearing from our listeners. Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org. Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

If you like this show, consider making a donation this holiday season. 100% of your donation will go towards helping us create more podcasts (like this one!). Click here to make a gift today.Sometimes, romantic relationships just don't work out. And breaking up with someone can be really tough — including having the breakup conversation. With ADHD, overthinking, people-pleasing, and rejection sensitivity can make it even harder. This week, ADHD coach and author of I Don't Hate My Ex-Husband Jess DuBose visits Sorry, I Missed This. Listen to learn how to check in with yourself about your relationship, and some tips to help you through a breakup conversation. Related resourcesADHD and rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD)Jess' website, jessdubose.comI Don't Hate My Ex-Husband by Jess DuBoseNational Domestic Violence HotlineRainn.orgTimestamps(02:08) Why did Jess write her book?(04:13) How does ADHD impact breaking up?(05:19) Staying in a relationship because of people-pleasing(07:42) Jess' growth process: ASPIRE(10:22) Guided meditation exercise about whether or not to break up with someone(14:08) What can help you through a breakup(19:32) Initiating the conversation to end a relationship(24:10) How to avoid the impulse to backpedal during the breakup conversation(27:37) Jess' parting advice(29:14) Where you can find JessTo get a transcript of this show and check out more episodes, visit the Sorry, I Missed This podcast page at Understood.org.We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org. Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

If you like this show, consider making a donation this holiday season. 100% of your donation will go towards helping us create more podcasts (like this one!). Click here to make a gift today.Self-advocacy and ADHD workplace disclosure come together in a package. It's important to know yourself and your values in order to be the best self-advocate you can be. In this week's episode, ADHD at Work founder Meghan Brown-Enyia answers the question: What is a good self-advocate? And, gives her recipe for advocating for yourself.  Related resourcesWhat is self-advocacy?Pros and cons of disclosing a disability to employersAccommodations: What they are and how they workMeghan's website, ADHDatwork.coTimestamps(03:05) Why did Meghan create ADHD at Work?(06:59) Am I ready to be an ADHD self-advocate?(09:37) Meghan's recipe for self-advocacy(13:19) Self-advocacy and emotional regulation(16:08) How do you figure out your ADHD needs in the workplace?(19:33) Best practices for asking for supports(24:00) Am I a bad self-advocate if I choose not to disclose my ADHD?(26:36) Where you can find MeghanTo get a transcript of this show and check out more episodes, visit the Sorry, I Missed This podcast page at Understood.orgWe love hearing from our listeners. Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org. Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Consent is an agreement that people reach together. It can get a bit tricky with people-pleasing and black and white thinking — two things that can often come up with ADHD. The Wheel of Consent can help.This week, host Cate Osborn welcomes Betty Martin to the show. Betty is the author of The Art of Receiving and Giving: The Wheel of Consent. Join Betty and Cate as they break down the Wheel of Consent and why it can be a great tool for ADHDers.Related resourcesThe Wheel of Consent diagram PDFHow to play the 3-minute gameBetty's website, bettymartin.orgTimestamps(00:00) Introduction to the Wheel of Consent(03:08) What is consent? (08:25) What does the Wheel of Consent do? (10:25) Redefining “receiving” and “giving” (12:21) ADHD, and talking about consent(17:34) How to figure out what you actually want(23:14) The 3-minute game(29:26) “Putting up with” touch(31:26) The “shadow sides” of the Wheel of Consent(35:17) Where you can find Betty and more Wheel of Consent resourcesTo get a transcript of this show and check out more episodes, visit the Sorry, I Missed This podcast page at Understood.orgWe love hearing from our listeners. Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org. Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Do you not notice that you're hungry until you're raging? Do you bump into things constantly? These are just two examples of how our sensory systems can affect those of us with ADHD. And they have a lot more to do with communication than you might think.This week, author of ADHD & Us and licensed clinical social worker Anita Robertson breaks down the three hidden sensory systems. Join Anita and Cate as they talk about how these can affect relationships with ADHD, and share some tools that can help. Related resourcesInteroception and sensory processing challengesADHD and UsAnita's website, anitarobertson.comTimestamps(04:19) What is a sensory difference?(08:21) What are the 3 hidden sensory systems?(11:05) How does interoception impact ADHD?(14:47) The vestibular system and ADHD(20:28) Proprioception and ADHD(23:05) Sensory systems and communication with ADHD(26:56) How do we start identifying our sensory needs?(30:21) Where you can find Anita To get a transcript of this show and check out more episodes, visit the Sorry, I Missed This podcast page at Understood.orgWe love hearing from our listeners. Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org. Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Have you ever impulsively thrown yourself into a relationship? Do you change your interests based on who you're dating? Today, we're sharing an episode of the "Tips from an ADHD Coach" podcast on rushing into relationships that might not actually be what you want.  ADHD coach Jaye Lin reacts to a quote on changing yourself in relationships. Listen for Jaye's own connection to this, and some reality checks you can give yourself. Explore more episodes of "Tips from an ADHD Coach" and check out other podcasts on MissUnderstood: The ADHD in Women Channel.To get a transcript of this show and check out more episodes, visit the MissUnderstood podcast page at Understood.orgWe love hearing from our listeners. Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org.Related resourcesADHD, loving intensely, and impulsivity (Ange's story)ADHD and emotionsTimestamps(02:28) Ange's quote(04:51) Jaye's reaction(06:25) What is dopamine?(09:57) What happens once we get into the relationship we wanted?(11:47) What can we do to help? Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Conflict can be uncomfortable. But it's a necessary part of life that can have great outcomes. ADHD often comes with trouble with executive function, emotional regulation, time perception, and more. This can make conflict even tougher to face. Senior certified Gottman relationship therapist Michael McNulty walks us through the research on which the Gottman Method is based — and what it means for relationships.Listen to Cate and Michael as they explore how conflict can change with ADHD, and the four horsemen of divorce — each with their own antidote.Related resourcesTrouble with self-regulation: What to knowThe Gottman InstituteMichael's website, chicagorelationshipcenter.comTimestamps(03:34) What is the Gottman Method?(06:00) The research the Gottman Method is based on(09:42) ADHD and the Gottman Method(12:54) Executive function and conflict(15:22) Time perception and conflict(16:20) What is “turning away and turning towards”?(19:13) The four horsemen of divorce(20:32) The first horseman: Criticism(23:26) The second horseman: Defensiveness(24:50) The third horseman: Contempt(27:48) The fourth horseman: Stonewalling(29:11) Where you can find MichaelTo get a transcript of this show and check out more episodes, visit the Sorry, I Missed This podcast page at Understood.orgWe love hearing from our listeners. Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org. Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Dating is a skill. And like any skill, it takes practice. ADHD can intensify dating challenges. Like, masking to be someone we're not so the other person will like us. Or, having intense feelings quickly, and jumping into a relationship that may not be what we want in the long run. Dating coach Amie Leadingham visits the show this week to talk about what a dating coach does and common dating pitfalls. Host Cate Osborn addresses what these challenges can look like with ADHD on top. Related resourcesIs it love or is it dopamine?, from Tips from an ADHD CoachA dating coach talks ADHD and super-connecting, from How'd You Get THAT Job?!Amie's website, amiethedatingcoach.comTimestamps(03:59) What does a dating coach do?(08:07) How ADHD can affect dating(09:29) ADHD and “love bombing”(12:56) What is “screening”?(14:04) Masking in dating/The “marketing trap”(17:50) How to ask good questions(19:45) What to do when you realize your relationship might not be what you want(21:37) How can people with ADHD show up to be good partners?(23:42) When do we disclose that we have ADHD?(25:21) Trouble with time perception and texting(26:20) Trouble with impulse control and dating(27:30) Amie's question suggestions(29:00) ADHD and oversharing(30:54) Amie on a dating timeline(33:10) ADHD and kink(34:24) Where you can find AmieTo get a transcript of this show and check out more episodes, visit the Sorry, I Missed This podcast page at Understood.orgWe love hearing from our listeners. Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org. Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Workplace relationships can be challenging for anyone. But for people with ADHD, trouble with working memory, self-control, emotions, and more can make professionalism even more confusing.Executive and ADHD coach Farah Jamil visits the show to clear up some common mysteries, like, how do I speak up for myself? And, what do I do when I've made a mistake? Listen for her answers, and some great tips to keep in your back pocket.  Related resourcesI'm having communication issues at work. What's going on?Radical Candor by Kim ScottFarah's websiteFarah's LinkedInTimestamps(03:38) What does Farah do as an executive coach and ADHD coach?(06:57) Recognizing that it's OK not to have all of the answers at work(09:40) How can ADHD affect collaboration in the workplace?(11:01) The What, the How, and the Why(13:03) How can ADHD affect communication in the workplace?(14:56) Feeling socially awkward at work(17:15) How to start identifying your needs(19:36) Conflict in the workplace(21:43) Communication strategies(25:28) How can we take ownership of our mistakes?(31:12) Fear of success(34:37) Where you can find FarahTo get a transcript of this show and check out more episodes, visit the Sorry, I Missed This podcast page at Understood.orgWe love hearing from our listeners. Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org. Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

When you have ADHD, it can affect every part of your life — even sex. ADHD impacts how we show up in relationships. And it can be easy to forget it's with us in the bedroom too. ADHD sexpert and psychologist Dr. Ari Tuckman visits the podcast this week to talk about the connection between ADHD and sex. Listen to this foundational episode as we set the scene to cover more in-depth topics on sex in future episodes. To get a transcript of this show and check out more episodes, visit the Sorry, I Missed This podcast page at Understood.org.We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org.Related resourcesSex, intimacy, and ADHD from ADHD Aha!Ari's book, ADHD After DarkCome As You Are by Emily NagoskiTimestamps(03:45) Why is ADHD and sex an important topic?(07:24) What Ari learned from research for his book, ADHD After Dark(10:33) ADHD and responsibility (12:47) Avoiding a transactional sexual relationship(14:55) Intentionality and ADHD(17:39) What can we do to help?(25:10) Ari's main takeaways(26:45) What do I do if me or my partner is really excited about sex, but one or the other of us struggles to remember it exists?(29:54) What do I do if I get distracted during sex?   Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Boundaries are limits based on our values — and a key part of good relationships. ADHD can come with low self-esteem and anxiety, which can get in the way of respecting your own boundaries in relationships. ADHD educator and marriage counselor Melissa Orlov explains what boundaries are and how ADHD comes into play. Plus, she offers tips on how to set and maintain healthy boundaries in relationships.To get a transcript of this show and check out more episodes, visit the Sorry, I Missed This podcast page at Understood.We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org.Related resourcesADHD in marriage: How it changed a relationship (Breon and Dan's story)ADHD and trouble with personal boundaries in kidsMelissa's website, adhdmarriage.comTimestamps(04:28) What is a boundary?(10:20) How do we figure out what our boundaries are?(14:51) People pleasing(20:45) How do we work on creating and evolving boundaries with a partner?(22:16) Top three things to know, and some activities to get started(24:42) Cate's Comment Corner Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Juggling everything that ADHD throws at us can make us struggle in our friendships. Trouble with executive function affects our ability to communicate and remember things. And the shame that comes with ADHD can lead to us hiding our challenges and pretending to be someone we're not. In this episode, host Cate Osborn welcomes a good friend of hers, Elizabeth Kilmer. Elizabeth is a clinical psychologist and researcher in game studies. Join Cate and Elizabeth as they talk about what it means to be friends with ADHD and how having friends who “get it” can be a lifesaver.Related resourcesMaking friends as an adult with ADHDUnderstanding trouble with social skillsElizabeth's website, elizabethkilmer.com Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

It can be a struggle to balance chores in a relationship. When one or more people in the relationship have ADHD, there's even more room for miscommunication. It's important to be on the same page about expectations, or you may end up with resentment, and more fights than you'd like to. KC Davis wrote the book How to Keep House While Drowning, and hosts the podcast Struggle Care. KC joins host Cate Osborn in this episode of Sorry, I Missed This to talk about care tasks, sharing the load, and getting on the same page. Related resourcesKC Davis' website, strugglecare.comTackling organization, clutter, and stress with hyperfocus (Wendy's story)ADHD and messiness Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Social skills can be challenging for people with ADHD. Whether it's trouble with executive function or anxiety from past situations, socializing can come with a lot of emotions. It can also be really confusing and bring up questions like Why does it seem so much easier for everyone else? Why can't I hold onto friendships? What do I even like to do?  In this episode, host Cate Osborn chats with Caroline Maguire, MEd. Caroline is an ADHD coach and author of the book Why Will No One Play With Me? Join Cate and Caroline as they talk about how ADHD affects social skills and what we can do to help.Related resourcesCaroline's websiteCaroline's book, Why Will No One Play With Me?Caroline's video, How to Stop People Pleasing with ADHD Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

It can be hard to navigate relationships when you have ADHD. Here's a podcast that can help!Welcome to Sorry, I Missed This: The Everything Guide to ADHD and Relationships with Cate Osborn.Your host Cate has ADHD, a background in sex education, and a whole lot of questions like “How do I know what I want out of a relationship? How do I remember my friends exist? What can I do to handle conflict better?”Tune in to learn about topics like social skills, boundaries, communication, intimacy, and sex. Join Cate in unpacking the taboo, painful, and often hilarious challenges of being in a relationship when you have ADHD. First episode drops 6/18/24. Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give