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If you have ADHD, chances are you've developed a deeply ingrained habit of apologizing — for being late, for forgetting, for talking too long, for existing in a way that feels like an inconvenience. In this episode, Nikki and Pete unpack why over-apologizing is so common in the ADHD experience and how rejection sensitive dysphoria fuels the cycle. They explore what happens on the receiving end when apologies become emotional labor for someone else, and why pre-apologizing can actually undermine your credibility and prevent others from having their own authentic reactions.The conversation moves from apology into repair — a critical distinction. Where an apology is one-directional, repair is a two-party activity built on acknowledging impact, taking responsibility, and resetting the relationship. Nikki walks through the framework of acknowledge, repair, reset, and Pete shares a powerful lesson from his own therapist: your power ends with your skin. You get to own your part, but you don't get to own someone else's forgiveness timeline. They also dig into why self-compassion isn't optional — it's the foundation that makes real repair possible.This episode also comes with a free downloadable resource: "Repair Scripts for Real Life: The ADHD Repair Guide," featuring five ready-to-use scripts for situations that come up for ADHDers every single week. Grab your copy Right Here!Links & NotesSupport the Show on PatreonDig into the podcast Shownotes Database (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (00:57) - Looking for Membership? (02:56) - How to Repair without Over-Apologizing ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★
This goes along with the interview about Embodied Exercise. For many people, the other side of that coin is eating. And rates of disordered eating are higher among Autistics, ADHDers (especially women), and trans and gender non-conforming folks.The episode only briefly touches on ARFID, an eating disorder more likely to affect autistic people for multiple reasons. If you know someone who could be an expert interview on ARFID, please send them my way.Oh another fun fact I didn't mention... it's possible that the "obesity epidemic" (unscientific nonsense) was literally caused by dieting. Yes, that's correlation, but damn it makes a compelling chart. (from Anti-Diet, book below)Mentioned in episode:Book Anti-Diet: Reclaim Your Time, Money, Well-Being, and Happiness Through Intuitive Eating by Christy Harrison MPH RD*ep. 129 Embodied Exercise with Martha MunroeAuDHD Flourishing resources:Transcript Doc (often a few weeks behind, but we do catch up!)Mattia's NewsletterLike Your Brain community space (Patreon/Discord)*affiliate link Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Send a textADHD is currently a hot topic, but if you have ADHD espeically if you're late-diagnosed, you don't feel so 'hot' about it, do you? I certainly didn't, anyway! And there is a growing trend in the fitness industry to talk about how their coaching practices help ADHDers. There are even people giving out certificates on ADHD coaching? There is a lot of information. If you're looking for help, for someone to 'get you', do you need a coach who talks about how they help ADHDers, or do you just need a coach who is highly skilled? Listen to this week's episode with special guest Michelle Carroll to find out. The Bolder Edit Newsletter, Join HereSubmit your questions to the Unhinged Health Hotline HereCome play on Instagram, HereInquire for 1:1 Coaching Here
Being called "low maintenance" feels like a win — until you realize the price you've been paying to earn it. In this episode, Pete and Nikki dig into why so many people with ADHD build their identity around not needing anything from anyone, and what happens when the bill comes due.Pete defines maintenance as the information, time, supports, accommodations, and care that let you function without constant internal triage — and argues that nobody is maintenance free. Together they explore the privatized support behaviors that keep ADHDers silent: not asking for written instructions, not requesting deadline extensions while drowning, saying "whatever works for you" when you have strong preferences, and hiding the enormous effort required to look effortless.The conversation introduces two low maintenance archetypes — the Ghost, who disappears when overwhelmed and returns like nothing happened, and the Fixer, who over-functions to become indispensable and then collapses. Pete and Nikki explore what both patterns cost: exhaustion, resentment, mystery anger, relationship distortion, and identity erosion.This is an episode about learning to say "I matter" — two words that don't require a journaling practice or a checklist, just the courage to believe them. Plus, Nikki drops a powerful reframe: when you start asking for help, you open the door for others to do the same.Download the Relearning Maintenance Worksheet that accompanies this episode right here!Links & NotesSupport the Show on PatreonDig into the podcast Shownotes Database (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (00:56) - Support the Show on Patreon (02:21) - What does it mean when we say we're Low Maintenance? ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★
In this episode, I sit down with the incredible Brendan Mahan—host of the ADHD Essentials podcast and author of Overcoming the Wall of Awful (available for pre-order now!). Brendan is a former educator, mental health counselor, and one of the most hopeful voices in the ADHD space. And today? We're diving deep into emotional dysregulation, shame, burnout, and what it really takes to move forward when your brain feels like the obstacle.We talk about why ADHDers build a “wall of awful,” how repeated failure shapes our emotional responses, and what actually works to get past it. If you've ever struggled to start, found yourself stuck in procrastination, or spiraled into shame after a mistake—this episode is going to give you language, tools, and most importantly, hope. Press play and let's unpack it together. Brendan Mahan, M.Ed., MS., hosts the ADHD Essentials Podcast, and is the author of “Overcoming the Wall of Awful©” due out in Fall of 2026 from the Balance/Hachette.A former educator and mental health counselor, Brendan helps individuals, families, and organizations manage neurodiverse challenges by blending education, collaborative problem-solving, and accountability with compassion, humor, and a focus on strengths and growth.Brendan is on the board of the Men's ADHD Support Group, and the organizing committee for the International Conference on ADHD. He has featured in the New York Times, Washington Post, LinkedIn, Understood, How to ADHD, and ADDitude. Episode Highlights:[1:05] - Introducing Brendan Mahan and his new book Overcoming the Wall of Awful[2:42] - What it's really like to write a book with ADHD (and why collaboration was key)[7:17] - Burnout, anxiety, and the difference between moving away from something vs. toward something[7:47] - What the “Wall of Awful” actually is—and why we all have one[9:31] - Guilt vs. shame: “I made a mistake” vs. “I am the mistake”[14:22] - Emotional dysregulation, the amygdala hijack, and finding the pause[25:43] - The 5 ways we respond to the Wall of Awful (and which ones actually work)[28:16] - Climbing the wall vs. putting a door in it: practical ADHD strategies[34:04] - Why emotional dysregulation is at the core of the Wall of Awful[35:32] - The psychology of change (pre-contemplation → maintenance → relapse)[37:55] - Why 10% better beats dramatic transformation every time[40:56] - Brendan's advice: define “done” and make your goals smaller than you think Connect with Brendan Mahan:Pre-order Overcoming the Wall of Awful (available September 1, 2026)ADHD Essentials – Website & social media Thank you for tuning into "SuccessFULL with ADHD." If this episode has impacted you, remember to rate, follow, share, and review our podcast. Your support helps us reach and help more individuals navigating their journeys with ADHD.
In this episode of Adulting with Autism, April sits down with Leah Marone — psychotherapist, speaker, and author of Serial Fixer: Break Free from the Habit of Solving Other People's Problems — to unpack why autistic and neurodivergent adults are often vulnerable to people-pleasing, masking, over-accommodating, and chronic burnout. Leah explains how "fixer mode" can start in childhood as a trauma response or learned pattern tied to love, praise, and survival — and how it becomes an exhausting loop of false ownership, hypervigilance, and anxiety. In this conversation, we cover: What it really means to be a "serial fixer" and how to recognize the pattern Why high emotional intelligence can become premature problem-solving How anxiety pulls us into the past (rumination) or future (worst-case planning) The connection between masking, people-pleasing, and losing your authentic self How to set boundaries without collapsing into guilt or conflict avoidance Why recovery matters for autistic adults navigating overstimulation and social decoding Micro-regulation tools for anxiety (cold on the chest, breath, movement, blood flow shifts) How caregivers can support neurodivergent young adults without "over-solving" Practical strategies for boundaries and burnout prevention in the workplace This episode is especially helpful for autistic adults, ADHDers, late-diagnosed individuals, caregivers, and high-achievers who feel stuck in overfunctioning and want to find their own version of calm, balance, and "enoughness." Guest: Leah Marone Website: leahmarone.com Book: Serial Fixer: Break Free from the Habit of Solving Other People's Problems
Inside the episode, we explore:What emotional regulation actually is (in real-life, human terms - not textbook jargon)What emotional dysregulation looks like in everyday ADHD life: snapping, spiralling, shutting down or numbing outWhy ADHD brains feel emotions more intensely & struggle to “come back down”How Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) & interoception challenges feed into big, fast emotionsThe 4 R's of emotional response: Resist, React, Reject & ReceiveHow emotions secretly drive our actions (or inaction), including procrastinationSimple reflection questions to help you start noticing your patterns with compassion, not shameRelated episodes to go deeper...If this episode hits home, you might also love:
If reading the news leaves you overwhelmed, angry, or completely checked out—you're not broken. The system is. In this episode of Adulting with Autism, I'm joined by Kira Shishkin, founder and CEO of informed.now, a platform built for people who want to stay informed without being manipulated, overstimulated, or emotionally drained. Kira shares how her own struggles with attention, overload, and disability shaped a radically different approach to news—one that prioritizes facts, primary sources, and respect for the reader's time and nervous system. We talk about: Why modern news is designed to hijack attention "Structural sensationalism" and how advertising drives outrage Why many autistic and neurodivergent people avoid the news entirely How to consume information without doom scrolling or shutdown What media minimalism and "news mindfulness" actually look like Why informed.now delivers fact-based news via simple text messages This episode is especially for autistic adults, ADHDers, and anyone whose mental health takes a hit from constant media overload—but still wants to understand what's happening in the world.
Distinguishing between ADHD and anxiety can feel a bit like trying to figure out if you're sneezing because of a cold or because your neighbor just started mowing their lawn - or maybe it's a bit of both, the symptoms look the same, but the solution is very different. This week, I'm talking with Dr. Mona Potter, a Harvard-trained, board-certified child and adolescent psychiatrist and the Chief Medical Officer and Co-founder of InStride Health. Dr. Potter spent years at McLean Hospital pioneering treatments for anxiety and OCD, and has a unique perspective on how we can manage the specific brand of exhaustion that comes with being neurodivergent in a world that never stops moving. Today, we're exploring the bio psycho social model—which is just a fancy way of saying we're looking at your sleep, your stress, and your chemistry all at once. We discuss the "optimal zone" of anxiety and how it can actually mask ADHD symptoms until you find a treatment that works, the difference between a "crutch" and a tool, and why parents (and adults) should stop trying to be the "external executive function" for everyone around them. We also take a deep dive into the specific mechanics of OCD and why the structure that saves an ADHDer might actually feed an obsessive loop. If you'd life to follow along on the show notes page you can find that at HackingYourADHD.com/269 YouTube: https://tinyurl.com/y835cnrk Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/HackingYourADHD This Episode's Top Tips To tell ADHD and anxiety apart, look at what's pulling your focus. ADHD distractions are often external (the world "tapping you on the shoulder"), while anxiety distractions are typically internal (a "side commentary" of what could go wrong). Remember that medication can turn down the biological "volume" of symptoms, but it doesn't build skills or "brain muscles." Use the quiet provided by medication as a window to practice the executive function habits you need. While structure and rituals are helpful for ADHD, they can feed OCD. If you have both, you must learn to sit with the distress of not performing a ritual (Exposure and Response Prevention) rather than making things "seamless".
Over the past few years, I've become more interested in neurodiversity. I've had more people come to work with me navigating being on the ADHD or autism spectrums and telling me that intuitive eating didn't work for them. I saw that many of the bodily changes that can occur as a response to trauma can already be happening in someone's brain when in the spectrum of neurodiversity. This can include quicker shifts into activated or collapsed nervous system states, less dopamine and time spent in a safety, more energy utilized to socialize, navigate transitions and make decisions. This can show up with food as struggling to hear hunger and fullness cues, heightened sensitivity to texture, taste, or smells, sensory seeking with crunch or flavor, difficulties with planning, cooking, or remembering to eat.In this week's episode, I chat with Dr. Miguel Toribio-Mateas, clinical neuroscientist, nutrition researcher, autistic ADHDer, and author, about: ADHD and nutritionListening to your unique body's signalsUnderstanding sensory sensitivitiesThe role environment plays in food choicesThe connection between trauma and foodFinding balance in nutritionPractical meal prep strategiesYou can also read the transcript to this week's episode here: https://www.stephaniemara.com/blog/bioindividual-approach-to-nutrition-for-neurodiversity-and-adhdEnjoy this week's episode and reach out with any insights! With Compassion and Empathy, Stephanie Mara FoxKeep in touch with Dr. Miguel here: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drmiguelmateas/ Website: https://drmiguelmateas.comBook: ADHD Body and Mind https://amzn.to/4riUEjoSupport the showKeep in touch with Stephanie Mara:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/_stephaniemara/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/stephaniemarafoxWebsite: https://www.stephaniemara.com/https://www.somaticeating.com/Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stephmara/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@stephaniemarafoxContact: support@stephaniemara.comSupport the show:Become a supporter: https://www.buzzsprout.com/809987/supportAll affiliate links: https://www.stephaniemara.com/resourcesReceive 15% off my fave protein powder with code STEPHANIEMARA at checkout here: https://www.equipfoods.com/STEPHANIEMARAUse my Amazon Affiliate link when shopping on Amazon: https://amzn.to/448IyPl Special thanks to Bendsound for the music in this episode. www.benso...
Welcome back to The Freelancer's Tea Break! This week, I'm joined by my friend, coach, and book genie, Gail Doggett, founder of Book Doubling, a book coaching business tailored for neurodivergent writers, especially those with ADHD. In this episode, we delve into how Gail aids writers in completing their dream books by using techniques like body doubling and screen sharing. We also discuss Gail's own journey with writing, the importance of developing a writing practice, and the unique challenges and strengths of neurodivergent individuals in the writing process. What You'll Learn in This Episode How Book Doubling supports ADHD and neurodivergent writers Why body doubling boosts focus and reduces overwhelm How to build a writing practice that works with your brain The power of handwriting, single‑tasking, and reflective writing How to write consistently when freelancing or juggling life changes The benefits of co‑writing sessions and community accountability How Substack can help you reconnect with your writing voice Gail Doggett is a neurodivergent writing coach, editor, and former acquisitions editor at a Big Five publishing house. Gail has spent over 20 years supporting writers from messy first drafts to finished books, with a special focus on late-diagnosed neurodivergent women who are juggling creativity, life, and everything in between. As an ADHDer herself, Gail brings compassion, strategy, and a deep understanding of how neurodivergent brains actually work, plus her own signature approach called Book Doubling, which is like body doubling but with editorial wisdom and accountability. She loves stories, knows exactly what it feels like to be stuck, and is here to help writers finally get their work over the finish line. Join Gail on Substack or Connect with her on Instagram | Facebook | TikTok | LinkedIn | Website | Newsletter Join Gail's Write Club membership Timestamps: 00:00 Introduction and Guest Introduction 00:54 Gail's Background and Book Doubling Concept 01:37 Challenges Faced by Neurodivergent Writers 02:25 The Importance of Self-Belief and Support 04:53 Establishing a Writing Practice 08:21 Body Doubling and Screen Sharing Techniques 13:34 Tracking Progress and Reflecting on Writing 19:28 Adapting to Life Changes and Finding Focus 20:58 Freelancing and Writing in Pockets of Time 22:22 Staying Connected with Your Writing 23:14 The Joy of Writing vs. The Chore of Writing 24:47 The Power of Handwriting 26:38 Reflection and Adjustment in Writing 27:40 The Importance of Single-Tasking 29:52 Co-Writing Sessions and Their Benefits 31:21 Introducing Write Club 33:52 One-to-One Writing Support 36:00 The Magic of Substack 42:53 Conclusion and Future Plans Follow me on Instagram Follow me on Bluesky Email: hello@emmacossey.com Come join us in the free Freelance Lifestylers Facebook group Want more support? Check out the Freelance Lifestyle School courses and membership. Join the Freelance Lifestyle Discord Community: https://discord.gg/RKYkReS5Cz
Grab the free Wall of Awful worksheets to go along with this episode *here*Why is it so hard to reply to that email, book the appointment or drop off the charity bag that's been in your car for weeks?In this episode, we're talking about the Wall of Awful... It's the emotional wall between you & the task. In theory the task is simple. But emotionally, it feels HUGE. That “too much” feeling is your wall of awful.Inside the episode, we explore:What the Wall of Awful is & why ADHDers get such big wallsHow each “brick” is made from past criticism, shame, failure & fearWhy that stuck, heavy, guilty feeling before a task is not lazinessHow emotions drive actions (and why that matters way more than “motivation”)3 ADHD-friendly ways to get to the other side of the wallHow self-judgement quietly adds more bricks… And how self-compassion starts taking them outGrab the free Wall of Awful worksheets to go along with this episode:
If the word accounting makes your attention disappear, this episode is for you.Skye sits down with Joe Dunaway - founder of Vici Financial, accountant, business owner, and ADHDer - to talk about why so many ADHD entrepreneurs avoid their numbers, and how to understand them without overcomplicating things or forcing yourself into systems you won't maintain.This isn't about becoming good at accounting.It's about knowing enough to make decisions, reduce background stress, and stop guessing about your business.We cover:Why accounting causes shutdown for ADHD brainsThe real cost of avoiding your numbersThe fastest way finances get messy (and how to stop it)How to separate signal from noise in your financialsWhen numbers actually become useful instead of overwhelmingIf you've been telling yourself “I'll look at it later” — this conversation will help you finally look, without spiraling.Connect with Joe:https://www.vicifinance.com/Instagram: @vicifinancial P.S. If your ADHD symptoms turn every business day into chaos—unfinished tasks piling up, revenue stuck, systems that don't stick—it's not you. It's your operating system. We help service business owners unblock their next $50-500k with simple systems that focus their brain. Watch this video to see how we do it, then take the program walkthrough.
Love this clip? Check out the full episode: Episode #330: ADHD-Proof Your Life: Real Tips from Real ADHD BrainsListen to the full conversation in the original episode HERE.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
In this episode, I'm joined by Lisa Candera, a fellow ADHDer, autism mom, attorney, and parent coach who helps parents regulate themselves first so they can better support their neurodivergent kids. This conversation is raw, honest, and deeply needed—especially if you've ever felt like you're holding everything together while quietly falling apart.Lisa and I talk about what really happens when parenting a neurodivergent child pushes you to your limits—emotionally, physically, and mentally. We explore why traditional parenting strategies often backfire, how parent regulation changes everything, and what to do when behaviors escalate beyond what feels manageable. If you're parenting a neurodivergent child and wondering, “Why isn't this working?”—this episode is for you.Lisa Candera is a single mom, attorney, ADHD-er, and autism mom coach. She helps parents of autistic children regulate themselves first so they can show up for their kids with compassion, clarity, and strength. Her upcoming book explores what it means to be a “solid object” for your child: not fixing, not co-escalating, but standing steady in the storm. She hosts The Autism Mom Podcast (top 2%) and has been featured in numerous top podcasts, like Turn Autism Around and On The Hard Days. Episode Highlights:[0:48] – Introducing Lisa Candera and why parent regulation matters more than we think [2:20] – The moment Lisa realized she was just as dysregulated as her son [3:22] – Why parent coaching often matters more than child-focused interventions [5:25] – How traditional parenting approaches can backfire with neurodivergent kids [6:13] – Lisa's late ADHD diagnosis and how it reframed her parenting and career [11:16] – Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria and taking your child's behavior personally [13:34] – When behaviors turn physical and safety becomes the priority [16:26] – Understanding the “order of operations” during behavioral crises [22:54] – How to find autism-informed medical and mental health support [27:22] – Why ABA isn't always the right fit, especially with OCD and anxiety [34:44] – Proactive strategies to reduce escalation before fight-or-flight hits [36:06] – Co-regulation vs. compliance and why “doing less” can help more [38:22] – Reframing behavior as communication—not disrespect [44:21] – Regulating yourself as a parent when you're triggered [49:41] – The truth Lisa wishes she could tell her past self Links & ResourcesLisa's website: https://theautismmomcoach.comLisa on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theautismmomcoach/ Lisa on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theautismmomcoach The Autism Mom Coach PodcastThank you for tuning into "SuccessFULL with ADHD." If this episode has impacted you, remember to rate, follow, share, and review our podcast. Your support helps us reach and help more individuals navigating their journeys with ADHD.
The first episode of the Neurodiverse Love Docuseries will be released on February 14, 2026. Through this four part series, you will meet four Neurodiverse couples who share some of their lived experiences, lessons learned and the strengths, challenges and differences they've had in their marriages. None of the couples knew they were in a mixed neurotype relationship when they married and each shares some of the experiences that have led to more connection, understanding and acceptance of each other's differences.In addition, you will hear from three coaches/therapists who work with Neurodiverse couples. They share their perspective on why challenges may be occurring and also provide strategies and tools for increasing connection.To contribute to this very important project or to learn more about the docuseries click here.——————————————————————————During this episode you will hear another presentation from the 2025 Neurodiverse Love Conference. Greg Fuqua reviews the most common and important dynamic patterns he sees in ND relationships. He also reviews ways of empowering healthier patterns of growth and understanding in ND couples. More specifically GRE addresses the following topics:ADHDer's and Autistics; The magnetism of ND polarities;Emotional Dynamics;Enmeshment vs Ownership;Co-regulation vs Self-regulation;Pursuer/avoidant; Communication Dynamics;Nuanced vs Literal;Emotional Content/Context vs Factual and Logistical Content.Greg Fuqua is a Licensed Mental Health Therapist (LMHC) in the state of Iowa and runs Divergent Counseling, Coaching and Consulting LLC that supports neurodiverse couples, neurodivergent issues, therapists and others nationwide/worldwide through counseling, trainings, consultations and coaching. He is a certified Autism Spectrum Disorder Clinical Specialist (ASDCS); a level 2 trained Neurodiverse Couples Therapist and identifies as autistic himself. Greg has appeared as a special guest and 2-time season co-host of the “Neurodiverse Love” Podcast and he is the Co-host of the “Neurodivergent Connections” YouTube channel with Mona Kay and Scott Simpson. Greg specializes in working with Autistics, ADHDers and neurotypes of all kinds, including Neurodiverse (ND) Couples, ND families, transgender and LGBTQ clients and DID, OSDD or plurality/multiplicity in clients. Greg is a trauma informed therapist and an Internal Family Systems (IFS) practitioner. You can learn more about Greg at: https://www.gregfuqua.com——————————————————————————If you would like to buy unlimited access to all 30+ video sessions from the 2025 Neurodiverse Love Conference click here and use code Podcast50 to get $50 off. With your purchase you will also get these FREE BONUSES: unlimited access to the 27 video sessions from the 2023 Neurodiverse Love Conference, the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards and Workbook. If you have any questions or need additional information please email: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com
Do you struggle to stay in one job for long?Are you looking for the perfect ADHD career fit? Do you find tasks that are a 'no-brainer' for your colleagues take you 5x as long to complete? If so, you're not broken - you're responding to how our ADHD brains are wired… and this episode is for you!We're unpacking why careers can feel so hard for ADHDers, why so many of us change jobs or directions regularly & why that's not a personal failing. I share my own very zig-zag career journey, the science behind ADHD & work & the patterns I see over and over again.We explore:Why ADHD brains crave novelty, challenge & urgency (hello dopamine!)Why admin, paperwork & “basic tasks” can be SO draining for usHow emotional sensitivity, RSD & toxic workplaces impact ADHD nervous systemsWhat actually helps ADHDers thrive at work (hint: job fit matters more than job title)We also dive into the ADHD Career Sweet Spot, the types of roles ADHDers often excel in & practical questions to help you figure out what's next - or how to fall back in love with the job you already have without burning everything down.If you've changed careers more times than you can count, feel quietly stuck, or wonder why work feels harder for you than it “should” - this episode will help you see yourself & your career through a much kinder & more understanding lens.Resources mentioned: Podcast ep #136 ADHD at Work: Your Rights, Reasonable Adjustments & When to Tell Your Boss with Jaime Rose-PeacockAdulting with ADHD & the Values Workshop LINKS TO GOOD SH*T:*Join Adulting with ADHD your ADHD toolbox & everything you need to work with your brain*Get our AI ADHD Coach in your pocket! *12 Things I wished my Doctor had told me about Adult ADHD*Find out if you might be living with ADHD - Download Symptoms List*Check out Courses & Coaching with Xena*Learn, Inspire, Share & Connect inside our Facebook Community *Come hang out with me on Instagram!
Show Notes:Hello and welcome to Authentically ADHD – I'm Carmen, and I'm so glad you're tuning in. Today we're exploring a topic I know many of us grapple with: why you're still exhausted even after resting, especially when you're both autistic and ADHD (often called AuDHD). If you've ever wondered, “I took a break, so why do I still feel drained?” this episode is for you.We often hear about the idea of a “social battery.” The classic metaphor goes like this: social time drains you, alone time or rest recharges you, then you're good to go again. It's a handy way to explain why you might feel wiped out after a party or a day of meetings – you used up your social battery and need some quiet time to recharge. For neurotypical folks or even just introverts, that simple formula sometimes works: hang out with people (battery drains), spend a night in (battery refills), and you're refreshed.But if you're neurodivergent – and especially if you're AuDHD (autistic + ADHD) – you've probably noticed it's not that simple. You might spend a weekend resting at home only to wake up on Monday still bone-tired. Or you take a day off to recharge, and by evening you're more exhausted than before. What gives? In today's episode, we're going to answer that. We'll talk about why the one-dimensional social battery metaphor doesn't fully capture what's happening in our brains and bodies. We'll dive into the neuroscience behind exhaustion in autism and ADHD: it's not just being “peopled out” – it's also things like masking, sensory overload, executive function fatigue, chronic stress mode, and even missed signals from our own bodies.By understanding these factors, we can start to make sense of why just “resting” isn't always enough for us. Importantly, we'll discuss what real rest means for an AuDHD brain. I'll share some strategies and tips on how to recharge the right way (because if your rest isn't targeting the actual type of tired you are, it's not going to truly restore you). And be sure to stick around till the end – I have 7 reflection questions for you. These will help you apply what we talk about to your own life, so you can figure out what drains your energy and how to refill your tank more effectively.So, grab a comfy seat, maybe a notebook, and let's unpack why you're still exhausted after rest – and what we can do about it.The Classic “Social Battery” Metaphor – And Its LimitsLet's start with that “social battery” idea. It's a popular way to describe energy levels, especially for introverts. The idea is pretty straightforward: social interaction uses energy, and solitude or downtime charges you back up. For example, if you spend all day socializing with coworkers or attending events, you might feel drained – your social battery is empty. Then you recharge by being alone, watching Netflix, reading, sleeping, what have you. The next day, your battery is full again (or at least partially recharged) and you repeat the cycle.This metaphor resonates because it acknowledges that socializing can be tiring, even if it's fun. It's commonly mentioned for conditions like ADHD or just shy/introverted personalities: “I need to recharge my social battery.” For neurotypical people, often a good night's sleep or a quiet Sunday morning might indeed restore that sense of energy.But here's the catch: the social battery model assumes only one dimension of fatigue – social energy in versus out. It treats all “rest” as equal, like plugging your phone into any charger will top it off. For those of us with ADHD, autism, or both (AuDHD), our experience tells a more complex story. We don't just have a single battery that drains and refills; we have an entire panel of batteries or fuel tanks, each for different kinds of energy. Sometimes you're not even sure which battery is low – you just know you're running on fumes. And crucially, if you try to recharge in the wrong way, it's like putting the wrong fuel in a car: you don't get very far, and you might even stall out.Have you ever tried to rest – say you cleared your weekend to do nothing – and you did all the “right” restful things like sleeping in or binging a show, but you still felt wiped out on Monday? I've been there. Before I understood the multiple dimensions of burnout, I would get frustrated at myself: “I rested, why am I still tired? What's wrong with me?” The social battery idea would have me believe that rest = recharge, so if I rested and I'm still tired, I must be doing something wrong. But the truth was, my rest wasn't actually addressing the kind of exhaustion I had.The classic metaphor doesn't account for things like:Mental overload – maybe your mind was exhausted from racing thoughts or decision-making, but your “rest” didn't quiet your mind.Sensory overload – maybe your senses were still on high alert from a noisy, bright, chaotic week, and watching TV on the couch kept bombarding you with light and sound.Emotional strain – maybe you were carrying stress or anxiety (perhaps from masking your true self or holding in emotions), and “resting” by doing nothing didn't process those feelings.Physical fatigue – maybe your body needed real recovery (nutrition, hydration, movement or sleep), but your rest was just lying around without addressing those needs.Executive function fatigue – perhaps you spent all week forcing your ADHD brain to stay organized and on-task, which is extremely draining, and simply taking time off work didn't automatically replenish that mental fuel.In other words, neurodivergent exhaustion is multi-faceted, and the social battery idea is just one piece of the puzzle. For AuDHD folks, social interaction itself can be exhausting, yes, but why it's exhausting goes beyond just “I don't like being around people too long.” There are underlying factors – neurological and physiological – that make social settings or daily life in general more draining for us than for others. Let's break down those factors.Why AuDHD Exhaustion Is More Than “Just Social”When you have autism, ADHD, or both, several concurrent processes are depleting your energy throughout the day. It's like having multiple apps running on your mental phone battery. If we ignore all but one, we miss the full picture. Here are some of the big drains on an AuDHD “battery”:1. The Masking Labor – Hidden Exhaustion of “Acting Normal”Masking refers to hiding or suppressing your natural neurodivergent behaviors to fit into a neurotypical world. Think of it as a social survival strategy: you force yourself to maintain eye contact even though it's uncomfortable, you hold back your stims (like fidgeting or rocking) to seem “calm,” you laugh when you're supposed to even if you're confused, you constantly monitor your tone and words so you don't offend or seem weird. Basically, you're running a mental filter 24/7 to appear “normal.” That is hard work!For autistic people especially, masking can be an enormous cognitive and emotional load. It's not just casually wearing a “social face”; it's more like performing a play where you're the actor and the director, constantly watching yourself from the outside. For ADHD folks, masking might involve holding back your impulsive comments, forcing yourself to sit still and appear attentive, or over-preparing for conversations so you don't lose track.All this mental multitasking consumes a ton of energy. Imagine your brain as a computer running several heavy programs at once – eventually it's going to lag or overheat. When you're masking, you might be:Analyzing every social cue and your own reactions (“Am I smiling enough? Did that joke land? Do I seem interested?”).Inhibiting natural impulses (“Don't stim, don't interrupt, don't pace even though I'm restless…”).Translating your intended words into more “acceptable” phrases.Absorbing the stress of not being able to relax or be yourself.No wonder by the time you get home from work or a social gathering, you feel like you ran a marathon (even if all you did was sit in a conference room or a cafe). Masking is exhausting. It's often described as wearing a heavy costume all day; when you finally take it off, you might physically collapse. This is a huge reason your “social battery” drains so fast and stays low: you weren't just socializing, you were performing and self-censoring nonstop.2. Sensory Processing Load – When the World Overwhelms Your SensesMany autistic and ADHD individuals experience sensory sensitivities. This means ordinary environments can feel like an assault on your nervous system. The lights in a grocery store are glaring and fluorescent, the chatter at a party is a jumble of noise, the fabric of your shirt tag is scratching your neck all day – these might barely register for a neurotypical person, but for us, they can be intensely distracting or irritating.Your brain is constantly processing sensory input: sight, sound, touch, smell, movement, etc. In neurotypical brains, there's a filter – they can often tune out background noise or adapt quickly to stimuli. In an AuDHD brain, that filter may be weaker or just different. Everything comes in at full volume, so to speak. As a result, you're expending energy just to exist in what others call a “normal” environment. You might not realize how much work your brain is doing to process and cope with the sensory avalanche until you find yourself utterly drained for “no obvious reason.”It's not just mentally tiring; it activates your physiology. When you're in sensory overload, your body can go into a mild fight-or-flight state. Think about being startled by a sudden loud noise – your heart jumps, adrenaline spikes. Now imagine smaller scale but chronic versions of that throughout your day: the phone ringing, the traffic noise, the uncomfortable chair, the strong perfume in the elevator. Your body might be perpetually a little on edge. Stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline might be slightly elevated as your system says “too much, too much!” Even if you consciously try to ignore a chaotic environment, your nervous system is still reacting. Over time, living in that amped-up state will wear you out.So if you spend a day in a noisy, busy setting (say, an open-plan office or a crowded mall), you might come home utterly spent. And here's the kicker – if your idea of “rest” is, say, plopping on the couch with the TV on, you might not actually be giving your sensory system a break. The TV is still light and sound. Your phone screen is still input. If sensory overload was a big part of your energy drain, you need sensory rest: dim lighting, silence or calm music, maybe a weighted blanket or whatever soothes your senses. Without addressing that, a quiet night might only pause the overload without truly clearing it, leaving you still jittery or frazzled the next day.3. Executive Function Taxes – Paying the “Brain Tax” on Every TaskExecutive function is like the brain's management system – it covers things like planning, organizing, focusing, remembering details, switching tasks, and controlling impulses. Both ADHD and autism can come with executive function challenges (though they might show up differently). For ADHD in particular, things like staying focused, following steps, meeting deadlines, and making decisions can require intense conscious effort. It's not that we can't do them – we often can, but it's like driving with the parking brake on. We have to press the gas harder to go the same distance.Studies have found that adults with ADHD use up more mental energy throughout the day just managing routine tasks. One psychologist described it well: people with ADHD exert greater effort on everyday decisions and self-control, which “burns up mental fuel” at a faster rate than neurotypicals. Have you ever felt strangely tired after doing “nothing” except answer emails or make a few simple phone calls? That could be because for an ADHD brain, shifting attention between those emails, resisting the urge to check social media, remembering what you had to do next, all of that took a lot of invisible effort.Autistic folks, on the other hand, might get mentally drained from tasks like navigating transitions (shifting from one activity to another can be jarring) or dealing with unpredictability without a clear plan. Planning and adapting – those executive functions – can take a lot of conscious processing if your brain doesn't do it automatically.All day long, we're essentially paying an “executive function tax.” Every time you force yourself to concentrate on a boring task, every time you have to break down a project into steps, every time you coach yourself through procrastination or try to remember an appointment – that's a withdrawal from your cognitive energy reserves. By evening, you've been taxing that system so heavily that you might experience brain fog, trouble concentrating, or an inability to make even trivial decisions (“decision fatigue” – like staring at the fridge unable to decide on dinner).If your rest doesn't give your executive brain a break – for example, if you “rest” by doing something mentally complex like reading dense articles or doing a puzzle when your mind was what was exhausted – you may not feel recovered. Sometimes what we need is true mental rest: no complex planning, maybe even a break from screens and information intake, letting our thoughts wander or doing a mindless simple activity. Without identifying that need, you might mistakenly think “I just need more sleep,” but eight hours later you still wake up mentally exhausted, because your mind never got a break from overdrive.4. Stress-System Activation – Living in Fight-or-Flight ModeThis one underpins all the above: chronic stress. Both living with ADHD and autism can be chronically stressful, even if you love your life and manage well. There's the stress of trying to meet neurotypical expectations, the stress of sensory assault, the stress of potential social missteps or failures at work, and often a history of anxiety or trauma from not being understood. All this means our sympathetic nervous system (the fight-or-flight responder) might be activated more often or more intensely.Physiologically, when you perceive a challenge or threat (and “challenge” can be as mundane as the boss unexpectedly asking you a question, or a sudden loud noise that startles you), your body releases hormones like adrenaline and cortisol. Your heart rate might go up, blood pressure increases, senses heighten. It's your body's way of gearing up to face something. That's fine in short bursts, but if it's happening repeatedly through the day, you don't get much time in the restorative, relaxed state (the parasympathetic “rest and digest” mode).Being constantly in a subtle fight-or-flight mode is exhausting. It also affects sleep and energy recovery. For instance, if your stress system is always a bit activated, you might have trouble winding down at night or you might not get deep, quality sleep. You could sleep a full night and still wake up tired because physiologically, your body hasn't truly relaxed. Chronic stress can also mess with things like muscle tension (ever realize you've been clenching your jaw or shoulders all day?), digestion, and immune function – which can all indirectly make you feel more fatigued and rundown.For AuDHD people, stress might be coming from multiple angles: social anxiety, ADHD-related worries (“Did I forget something important again?”), sensory stress, or just the general pressure of appearing fine while you're actually struggling. Even exciting positive things can register as stress to the body – like hyperfocus or sensory excitement can amp you up similar to anxiety. So if you're constantly running “hot” internally, you need cooling-off periods. If your rest doesn't include something that actually calms your nervous system – like deep breathing, mindfulness, gentle movement, a safe feeling environment – you might stay in a semi-stressed state even during downtime. That means your “battery” isn't recharging; at best, you're just not draining it further for a while.5. Interoception Glitches – Missing Your Body's Early Warning SignalsInteroception is a fancy word for the internal sense of your body's condition – basically, feeling your own internal signals like hunger, thirst, tiredness, pain, needing the bathroom, etc. Many autistic people (and some ADHD folks too) have differences or delays in interoception. This can mean you don't notice your needs until they're screaming at you.Think about times you suddenly realize, “Oh my gosh, I'm starving – I haven't eaten in 8 hours!” or you're shivering and only then notice you're cold. Or you're so deeply focused on a project (thanks hyperfocus) that you don't realize you're exhausted until you stand up and almost fall over. That's interoceptive unawareness – our internal “fuel gauge” is not very accurate.For an AuDHD person, this might lead to literally running on fumes. You might be extremely low on energy but not fully register it until you hit a wall (like a shutdown or a meltdown or just a sudden wave of exhaustion that knocks you out). Likewise, you might not identify what kind of rest you need. You just feel “bad” or “tired” or “crappy” but can't tell if it's because you're dehydrated, or overstimulated, or emotionally upset. So you might try the wrong fix. For example:You feel out of it, so you assume you need a nap. But maybe what you needed was actually food and water (physical need), so you wake up from the nap still feeling off.Or you feel “tired” but actually you've been sitting indoors all day and your body is under-stimulated physically and craving movement (some ADHDers know the feeling of being lethargic from lack of activity). If you just lie down more, you feel even worse, whereas a short walk or some stretches might have rejuvenated you.Or you feel mentally drained and foggy, so you try to push through with caffeine and working more, when actually your brain desperately needed a break from screens and information (mental rest).When interoception isn't giving clear signals, it's easy to mis-match our rest to our need. We also tend to wait too long to address our needs. It's like driving your car until the fuel light is not just on, but the tank is nearly empty and the car is sputtering – then you pull into a random gas station and try to fill up without knowing what type of fuel you needed. If you put diesel in a gasoline engine, the car's not going to run, right? Similarly, if you try a form of “rest” that isn't what your body or brain actually require, you won't feel better. You might get a brief pause, but not true recovery.This can become a vicious cycle: you rest ineffectively, still feel exhausted, maybe even more frustrated (“I rested and it didn't help, why bother?”), and then you push yourself further next time, edging closer to burnout.So, to sum up this section: the social battery is more complicated for AuDHD folks because multiple systems are draining your energy – social interaction plus masking, sensory processing, executive function, stress responses, and trouble noticing your needs. It's like having five batteries in parallel, and when you say “I'm drained,” it could be one or all of them that are empty. If you only recharge one, the others might still be flashing red.Now that we understand why you might still feel exhausted after what you thought was adequate rest, let's talk about the science and physiology a bit more, and then we'll move on to strategies for tackling this in real life.The Physiology Behind AuDHD ExhaustionYou might be wondering, “Okay, so these different drains make sense, but what's actually happening in my body? Is this all in my head or is there a real physical basis for why I'm so wiped out?” It's very real, and neuroscience and physiology back it up. Let's take a peek under the hood of the AuDHD body and brain when it comes to energy:Brain Energy and Cognitive Effort: The brain, even though it's just 2% of our body weight, uses a ton of energy – some estimates say about 20% of our daily calories. When you're engaging in heavy cognitive effort (like constant self-control, focus, or social navigation), you're burning through glucose (sugar energy) in the brain at a faster rate. Neurotypical brains might solve a problem or engage in small talk using X amount of energy. An ADHD or autistic brain might need 2X because it's working harder to stay on track or decode the social nuances. Over a day, that adds up. By late afternoon, you might literally be low on brain fuel, which is why you experience that heavy fatigue or brain fog. It's not just mood or laziness – it can be a sign your brain's resources are depleted.Dopamine and Neurotransmitters: ADHD is associated with differences in dopamine regulation – dopamine is a neurotransmitter important for motivation, focus, and reward. If your brain has a dopamine deficit in certain circuits, tasks don't reward your brain as much, so you have to push yourself harder to do them. It's kind of like driving a car with low battery – you can do it, but it might sputter. This not only makes tasks feel harder mentally, it also can lead to a sort of constant seeking of stimulation to get that dopamine hit (hello, checking our phones or daydreaming), which itself can be tiring. Meanwhile, autistic brains often have different connectivity patterns – some areas might be hyper-connected, leading to intense focus or sensory awareness, while other regulatory circuits might be less connected, making switching tasks or filtering input harder. The result? A brain that's either revving high or working overtime to shift gears. These neurological differences mean that an AuDHD brain is often running rich (like an engine burning a lot of fuel) all day.Hormones: Cortisol and Adrenaline: I touched on this earlier – the stress hormones. Cortisol is known as the “stress hormone” that follows a circadian rhythm (should be high in morning, low at night) and spikes during stress. Chronic high cortisol from frequent stress can cause fatigue, brain fog, and even body aches. Adrenaline (epinephrine) is more immediate – it gives you that jolt in emergencies. If you're frequently anxious or overstimulated, your adrenaline might spike often, and afterwards you typically feel a crash – shaky, tired, maybe headachey. Some of us live in a pattern of mini adrenaline spikes throughout the day (panic about a task deadline, sensory shock from a siren, social anxiety spike when your phone rings…). Over time, this wears you down and can dysregulate your whole energy system. Your body might start overreacting or underreacting to stress due to burnout of the stress response system. This is why managing stress and actually engaging the relaxation response (like deep breathing to trigger the vagus nerve, which can lower heart rate and cortisol) is so key. Physically calming your body is not just woo-woo; it's helping your hormones rebalance so you can truly recharge.Muscle Tension and Physical Load: Ever notice how when you're mentally stressed, your body feels sore or tired? If you have anxiety or are masking, you might be unconsciously tensing muscles – clenching your jaw, hunching shoulders, or tapping your foot all day. Autistic folks might suppress stims which actually takes muscle control. ADHDers might be restraining their urge to move. All this can lead to physical exhaustion and even pain by day's end. Plus, conditions often co-occurring with AuDHD – like hypermobility, sleep disturbances, or digestive issues – can further sap physical energy.Sleep Quality: Many of us with ADHD or autism have sleep issues – trouble falling asleep, staying asleep, or not feeling rested from sleep. Neurologically, if your brain has trouble shutting off (common with ADHD racing thoughts or autism's difficulty unwinding routines), you might not get enough deep sleep. Sleep is when the brain and body repair. It's like plugging in your phone overnight – if you only charge to 50% or keep getting unplugged, you start the day at a deficit. Over days and weeks, that compounded sleep debt can make any amount of daytime rest feel ineffective. It's like trying to fill a bucket that has a leak at the bottom.In short, there are concrete brain and body reasons for your persistent exhaustion. You're not just “bad at resting” or “lazy” or “weak.” Your system is genuinely handling more and recovering less than the average person's. Knowing this is validating – it's not in your imagination. And importantly, it points toward solutions: for example, approaches that reduce the constant load on your brain (like accommodations or assistive tools for executive function), or practices that actively help your nervous system relax (like mindfulness, therapy, or sensory decompression activities).What AuDHD Exhaustion Looks Like in Daily LifeIt might be helpful to recognize how this kind of multi-faceted exhaustion shows up, because sometimes we don't even have the words for what we're feeling. We just know we're done. Here are some common signs that your various “batteries” are drained:Brain Fog and Zoning Out: You've had a day full of interactions and tasks, and now you just can't think straight. You find yourself staring at the wall or scrolling mindlessly because your brain refuses to focus on anything else. That's mental exhaustion – your brain is literally trying to power down for a bit. Autistic folks might experience shutdowns: where you go non-verbal or withdraw because your brain says “nope, I cannot engage anymore.” ADHD folks might find their attention just ricochets around or flatlines.Physical Fatigue and Aches: Your body might feel as if you ran a marathon, even if you didn't move much. Maybe your legs feel heavy, or you have a tension headache from hours of concentrating or from sensory stress (like squinting in bright light or bracing against loud noises). Chronic muscle tension can manifest as back or neck pain. Some people get stress-related fatigue where you feel flu-like (aching, low energy) purely from the cortisol rollercoaster.Irritability or Emotional Volatility: When we're running on empty, small things become big things. You might have a shorter fuse – maybe you snap at your partner or get teary over a minor issue. For AuDHD individuals, emotional regulation can already be a challenge (ADHD is often associated with big swings of feelings or what's called “Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria,” and autistic people can feel emotions intensely too). Exhaustion strips away the buffers we normally have. So that irritability, sadness, or anxiety that creeps in after a long day might actually be a symptom of fatigue. Think of little kids – when they're overtired, they have meltdowns over nothing. We adults are the same, we just mask it better until we can't.Avoidance and Withdrawal: You might cancel plans with people you actually like, or avoid a phone call from your best friend, simply because the thought of any interaction is overwhelming. This is often labeled the “social hangover.” After too much stimulation or masking, you might need to be alone, sometimes for days, to feel normal again. You might also pull away from work or responsibilities – like ignoring emails, procrastinating important tasks – not because you don't care, but because you just can't right now. Your system is forcing a shutdown of non-critical activities to try to recover.Lack of Motivation or Pleasure: When all your energy is sapped, even things you normally enjoy can feel like chores. A hobby you love feels too demanding. Meeting a friend for a fun activity feels daunting. This can be tricky because it can start to look like depression. In fact, chronic exhaustion and burnout can lead to depression, and they share some symptoms. One distinguishing factor some people notice: if it's primarily AuDHD fatigue, when you do occasionally get a burst of energy or hyperfocus (say something really interests you or you had a very restful period), your mood and motivation bounce back. Whereas with clinical depression, even on good energy days you might not feel joy. It can co-occur though, so it's always good to be mindful of mental health – but often what we think might be “I'm depressed or lazy” is actually “I'm burnt out and my brain is desperately trying to conserve energy.”Failure to Rejuvenate: The hallmark sign – you tried to rest, and it “didn't work.” Like you slept in, but you still feel tired. Or you spent the evening doing nothing, but feel no more ready to face the next day. It might feel like you have a permanently low battery that never gets past 50%, no matter what you do. This is a big clue that something about the type of rest or the amount of rest isn't matching what you need (we'll address that soon). It can also be a sign of deeper burnout, where short-term fixes won't cut it and you might need a more significant change or longer recovery time.Frequent Illness or Pain Flare-ups: I'll mention this too – when you're chronically exhausted, your immune system can weaken. You might catch every cold that comes around, or if you have conditions like migraines or fibromyalgia (common in neurodivergent populations), they might flare when you're overtaxed. It's like your body is waving the white flag through symptoms.Does some of that feel familiar? It's not a fun list, I know. But recognizing these signs in yourself is important. It's the first step to acknowledging, “I'm not lazy, I'm not failing at self-care – there's something very real going on that I can address differently.”Now, the big question: What can we do about it? How do we recharge all these different batteries properly, so that rest actually means something and we can start to restore our energy (and maybe even prevent getting so drained in the first place)? Let's move into the practical part: strategies and tips to manage your energy as an AuDHD person.Tips and Strategies for True RechargingAlright, now that we've dissected the problem, let's talk solutions. The goal here is to help you rest smarter, not just more. We want to target the right kind of rest for the exhaustion you have, and also manage our lives in a way that prevents draining every battery to zero if possible. Here are some strategies and tips, a blend of personal experience, science-backed advice, and things that many neurodivergent folks find helpful:1. Identify What Kind of “Tired” You Are: When you feel wiped out, take a moment to do a self check-in: What exactly feels drained? Is it your brain (mental fatigue, too many thoughts)? Is it emotional (feeling numb or overly sensitive)? Sensory (craving quiet/darkness or feeling jumpy at sounds)? Physical (body is heavy, sleepy)? Social (sick of people, need solitude)? There's no one right answer – it could be “all of the above,” but try to sense which ones are strongest. This matters because the remedy depends on the cause. If your tiredness is mostly physical, then physical rest (sleep, a nap, or just gentle activity) will help most. If it's mostly sensory, then you might need low stimulation (noise-cancelling headphones, a dark room, minimal touch). If it's mental, you might need to give your brain a break from consuming info – maybe do something hands-on or take a walk in nature without your phone. Practice asking yourself “What kind of tired am I right now?” and “What would truly feel nourishing?” It might take time to figure it out, but even just pausing and naming it can prevent you from automatically doing the wrong kind of rest.2. Embrace Different Types of Rest: Building on the above, familiarize yourself with the idea that rest is not just sleep or sitting around. There are many types of rest – some experts break it down into categories like: physical, mental, sensory, social, emotional, creative, spiritual. This might sound abstract, but it's actually practical. For instance:If you've been around people all day (social drain), you likely need social rest – some time alone or with people who are “easy” to be around (like a close loved one who you don't have to put on a show for).If your senses are overloaded (sensory drain), you need sensory rest – a break from input. That could mean a quiet dim room, or closing your eyes for a bit, or a soothing sensory experience like a warm bath (which calms the system).If you've been solving problems and on the computer nonstop (mental drain), your brain needs mental rest – do something low-demand like doodling, listening to gentle music, or literally daydreaming. Let your executive brain go offline for a bit.If you've been masking and managing emotions (emotional drain), you might need emotional rest – which could look like journaling your true feelings, having a good cry, talking to someone you trust and letting out all the bottled-up stuff, or just engaging in something that makes you belly-laugh or feel comforted. It also might mean giving yourself permission to not care for a little while about others' expectations.If you have an under-stimulation fatigue (sometimes ADHDers get exhausted from boring routines), you might need creative or novelty rest – which ironically means doing something interesting that fills your tank (like a fun hobby, a new game, something that sparks joy). This is why “rest” isn't always just doing nothing; sometimes our brains are tired from monotony and need a safe kind of excitement or creativity to feel revitalized.And of course, physical rest is important if your body is tired – that means sleep, nap, or gentle movement that helps you relax (like stretching, yoga, slow walking – often called “active rest” because it helps circulation and muscle recovery without being strenuous).Mix and match these as needed. Often, we need a combo. Say you had an overstimulating workday – you might need sensory + social rest (e.g. go to a dim room alone) and mental rest (don't force yourself to tackle a big project in the evening). Or if you spent all day caregiving your kids (social + emotional + sensory drain, parents I see you!), you might need physical rest (put your feet up) plus emotional rest (vent to a friend or watch a comfort show that lets you feel something). Being intentional about the type of rest means your downtime is more likely to actually recharge the depleted battery, not just scratch some other itch.3. Schedule Targeted Recharge Time (and Protect It): We often plan our work or social events, but we don't plan our recovery, and then it either doesn't happen or gets eaten up by other things. If you know certain activities drain you, start building in counter-balances. For example:If you have a big social event on Saturday, block Sunday morning as “quiet time” for yourself in a way that addresses the expected drain. If the party will be loud and socially demanding, maybe Sunday morning is reserved for a nature walk alone (sensory calm + solitude).If weekdays drain your executive function (as they do for many of us), maybe declare one evening a week as “no-decisions evening” – prepare a simple routine meal or order takeout, and do a low-brain-power activity. Treat it like a meeting with yourself that you don't cancel.Use tools like alarms or calendar reminders to check in with yourself during the day. Sometimes we literally forget to rest. A short pause mid-day to ask “How am I feeling? Need water? Need a break from noise?” can prevent deeper depletion. I personally have a sticky note on my monitor that says “Pause: Breathe & Feel – what do you need?” because otherwise hours go by and I haven't even unclenched my shoulders.Learn to anticipate crashes: If you notice a pattern like “Every day around 3 PM I crash,” consider adding a 15-minute rest break at 2:30 – maybe a quick walk or a stretch, or listening to a calming song with eyes closed. It's like a pit stop for your brain so it can finish the day.And importantly, protect that rest time. It's tempting to give it up when someone asks a favor or an extra task pops up. But remember, without that recharge, you won't be at your best and you might pay for it double later. Treat rest as an important appointment with yourself – because it is!4. Reduce Masking and Energy Leaks Where Possible: We can't always drop the mask – the world isn't always accommodating, and in some situations you might feel it's necessary to appear “on.” But consider where you can safely be more yourself or make things easier:Communicate needs to close friends or family: Let them know that after a certain time or event, you might be quiet or need to leave early due to exhaustion. Educating the people around you that “I get overstimulated or drained and it's just how my brain works” can build understanding and reduce the need to put on a show. If your friends know you're going to be sitting in the corner petting the cat after an hour at the party, and they're cool with it, you don't have to force yourself to mingle beyond your capacity.Stim and relax, even in small ways: If you've been holding in all your fidgeting or sensory self-soothing at work, take bathroom breaks or “fresh air breaks” where you can wiggle, shake out, do some deep pressure (like a quick self-hug or wall push-ups) – basically let your body reset. These mini-releases throughout the day can prevent the massive end-of-day collapse.Delegate or use supports for executive tasks: Energy leaks happen when we spend way too long on something because our brain is struggling. If you can afford it or have the option, use tools to reduce effort: maybe that's using a grocery delivery service instead of roaming overwhelming aisles, or using a scheduling app to remember appointments instead of trying to hold it all in memory. Perhaps at work you can ask for an accommodation like written instructions or a quieter workspace or flexible hours. Finding areas where you're expending extra effort just to keep up, and finding a smarter workaround, can save precious energy for where you really need it.Learn where you can say “no”: This is tough, but are there social interactions or obligations you can limit? You don't have to attend every gathering or help every person who asks, especially if you know it will overextend you. It's perfectly okay to have a quota – like one social event per weekend, or keeping weeknights free – whatever works for you. Saying no to others is saying yes to yourself, to your rest.5. Calming the Overactive Nervous System: Since stress and sensory overload keep us in high alert, actively practicing techniques to switch into “rest mode” can be a game changer. Some approaches:Breathing exercises: Even something as simple as 3 deep slow breaths can signal your body to relax. One technique is the 4-7-8 breath (inhale for 4, hold 7, exhale 8) which can reduce anxiety. Or try diaphragmatic breathing (belly breaths). Doing this periodically, and especially before bed, can help lower that cortisol and adrenaline.Progressive muscle relaxation: Tense and release muscle groups one by one. This not only relieves physical tension but also helps you notice where you've been holding stress (like “wow, my jaw was super tight!”).Sensory comfort: Use tools that help you feel safe and calm. For some, that might be a weighted blanket or a soft hoodie. For others, it's noise-cancelling headphones or listening to white noise/rain sounds. Dimming the lights in the evening, using warm-colored bulbs instead of harsh white light, can cue your brain that it's wind-down time. Basically, create a little sensory safe space for yourself when you need to recharge.Mindfulness or meditation: I know, not everyone's into meditation, but even a few minutes of sitting and noticing your surroundings or your breath can pull you out of the racing thoughts and ground you. Mindfulness can also help with interoception – if you practice checking in with bodily sensations in a non-judgy way, you might start catching those “I'm thirsty” or “I'm anxious” cues earlier. There are apps and guided meditations specifically geared towards relaxation and body awareness, which some neurodivergent folks find useful (and if traditional meditation is hard, things like mindful walking or even a repetitive hobby can be meditative).Therapeutic supports: If anxiety or an overactive stress response is a major issue, consider professional support. Therapy (like cognitive behavioral therapy or somatic therapies) can help you develop coping strategies and address triggers. For some, certain medications or supplements that regulate sleep and anxiety (like melatonin for sleep, or as prescribed by a doctor, maybe an SSRI for anxiety) can also be part of the puzzle. There's no shame in using every tool available to help your nervous system find balance.6. Tune Into and Honor Your Body's Signals (Practice Interoception): This one is about building the skill of listening to your body. It might sound odd if interoception is an issue, but you can improve it with practice. Some ideas:Set external reminders to check internal states. For example, keep a water bottle at your desk as a visual cue to drink regularly, rather than waiting to feel thirsty. Have scheduled snack times so you don't go 10 hours without eating. Use a bedtime alarm to remind yourself to start a wind-down routine, since you might not notice you're tired until 2 AM when you're dead tired.Use tracking or journals: Sometimes writing down energy levels or what you did and how you felt can reveal patterns. Maybe you notice “Every time I have back-to-back meetings, I get a migraine in the evening.” That's a clue to insert breaks or coping strategies around meetings. Or “Whenever I skip lunch, I get really anxious by 4 PM” – aha, low blood sugar and stress might be combining. Tracking apps for mood/energy, or a simple diary, can improve your mind-body awareness.Body scan exercises: These are mindfulness exercises where you mentally scan from head to toe, noticing any sensations (tightness, hunger, discomfort, calm). Doing a short body scan once a day can train your brain to check in with places you normally ignore. You might catch “Oh, my heart is racing, maybe I'm more stressed than I realized,” or “My eyes ache, I might need to close them for a bit.”Don't wait for crisis to refuel: If you start recognizing the earlier signs of being low on a certain “battery,” try to address it then, not when you're already in meltdown or shutdown zone. This might mean proactively resting. For example, if you notice “I'm getting pretty peopled out at this gathering,” excuse yourself for a short break before you hit the wall. If you notice you're getting headachey and cranky at work, maybe step outside or to a quiet restroom for 5 minutes, rather than soldiering on until you can't function. We often override our early signals out of obligation or because we're used to pushing through. Give yourself permission to pause before you crash – it can make a world of difference in recovery time and intensity.7. Replenish the Basics: It sounds almost too basic, but when you're worn down, foundational health stuff becomes crucial: nutrition, hydration, movement, and sleep.Nutrition: A brain that's out of fuel will feel tired and foggy. Try to eat regularly and include protein and complex carbs in meals to keep your blood sugar stable (wild sugar swings can mimic anxiety and fatigue). If you're too tired to cook on bad days, no shame in keeping easy snacks or shakes around. The point is to give your body some real fuel. Also, deficiencies in things like iron, vitamin D, B12, etc., can cause fatigue – might be worth getting a check-up if you suspect it. Many ADHDers forget to eat; many autistics have limited diets – so a multivitamin or specific supplements might help if diet isn't covering bases (ask a doc or dietitian).Hydration: Even mild dehydration can cause tiredness and headaches. Keep water or something with electrolytes handy. If plain water is hard, try flavored or fizzy water. We often forget to drink when hyperfocused or out of routine.Movement: This is tricky because when you're exhausted, exercise sounds impossible. But gentle movement can actually create energy in the long run. It improves mood, reduces stress chemicals, and helps you sleep better later. The key is gentle and enjoyable: a slow stretch while watching a show, a short walk in fresh air, dancing to one song in your room – something that gets your blood flowing without feeling like a chore. It's like giving your body a little tune-up. Some days you might only manage to move from bed to couch and that's okay too; when you have the energy, try sprinkling small movement snacks into your week.Sleep hygiene: Since many of us have irregular sleep, paying attention to sleep hygiene is huge. That includes things like having a consistent-ish bedtime and wake time, making your bedroom as comfortable and low-stimulation as possible, avoiding screens right before bed if you can (blue light and information overload trick the brain into staying awake), or using tools like white noise, eye masks, or even melatonin if appropriate. Also, if racing thoughts keep you up, try keeping a notepad by the bed – jot down anything on your mind to “offload” it, or listen to a calming audiobook or podcast at low volume to focus your mind away from anxious thoughts (just not one that's too stimulating). The goal is to help your brain and body wind down enough to get quality rest. If insomnia or delayed sleep phase (night-owl syndrome) is severe, consider talking to a doctor – there are interventions that can help (like light therapy, prescription meds, etc.). Don't just accept terrible sleep as your fate – it's something worth troubleshooting, because better sleep will amplify all your other efforts to recharge.8. Be Compassionate and Adjust Expectations: This might be the most important tip: be kind to yourself. Recognize that your fatigue is not a moral failing. You're not lazy for being tired. AuDHD individuals truly do face more daily stress and effort – of course you're exhausted! Start reframing rest as productive and necessary, not a luxury. It's part of your health and effectiveness. Also, communicate and adjust expectations with those around you (and with yourself). Maybe you can't do “all the things” in one day that others can – that's okay. Quality of life improves when you stop comparing your energy output to neurotypical standards.It's fine if you need two hours of downtime for every three hours of social time, or if after work your only goal is making a simple dinner and then chilling – that might be what allows you to thrive long-term. If you plan a restful vacation and you spend the first two days just sleeping and doing nothing – perhaps you needed that. Trust that meeting your needs is the path to unlocking your best self. When you do start feeling more recharged, you'll actually be able to do the things you want to do, and enjoy them, which is the ultimate goal.Each small step – whether it's learning to identify your tiredness type, or setting a boundary, or finding a perfect snack that keeps you from crashing – is a win. Celebrate those. We often have a perfectionist streak or we've been made to feel we're not doing enough. But here you are, learning how to take care of your remarkable, unique brain and body. That's absolutely something to be proud of.Reflection QuestionsAs we come to the end of this episode, I want to leave you with some reflection questions. These are meant to help you apply what we've discussed to your own life. You might consider journaling your answers, or just ponder them quietly. There are no right or wrong answers – they're just prompts for self-discovery and practical planning.1. Which aspects of your life drain your energy the most lately? Try to name them: Is it social interactions? Sensory environments? Work-related executive function tasks? Emotional stress? Recognizing your biggest drains is the first step to addressing them.2. When you do feel recharged or have a good energy day, what helped? Think of a recent time you actually felt rested or upbeat – what had you done (or not done) leading up to that? Identifying even small things that rejuvenate you (like “I felt great after that hike” or “having a quiet morning to myself made a difference”) can give clues to the kinds of rest you need more of.3. What type of rest do you think you're not getting enough of? (Physical, mental, sensory, social, emotional, creative, spiritual, or any category that resonates with you.) How did you realize this – what signs or feelings point to that deficit? For example, “I might need more sensory rest because I've been feeling jumpy and irritable by evening,” or “I suspect I need mental rest because my mind feels overloaded and I'm forgetting things.”4. How well are you noticing your own needs in the moment? Do you catch yourself getting tired, hungry, overstimulated early, or only when you're at a breaking point? Reflect on one or two cues you might have missed recently (like “I missed that I was thirsty and got a headache”). What could you do to catch those sooner next time (maybe a reminder or a mindful pause)?5. What is one barrier that often stops you from resting or recharging properly? Is it guilt (“I feel like I should be productive”)? Is it external (too many responsibilities, lack of a quiet space)? Maybe it's not knowing how to rest effectively. Write down that barrier. Now brainstorm one or two ways you could lessen that barrier. For instance, if guilt is a barrier, how can you remind yourself that rest is necessary (perhaps repeat a mantra: “Rest is refueling, not wasting time”)? If time is a barrier, what can you delegate or drop or reschedule to carve out a bit of downtime?6. What are some small recharge rituals you could build into your day or week? Think of tiny actions that give you even a spark of energy or calm. It could be a 5-minute tea break with no phone, or doing a silly dance when nobody's watching, or stepping outside to feel the sun for a moment. Make a little list of “go-to quick rechargers” for yourself. These will be handy when you notice a specific battery running low.7. Envision your ideal restored self. Imagine that you have been taking really good care of all these different energy needs for a while. How do you think you would feel and act? Paint a mental picture: “I wake up feeling __, I go through my day feeling __, I have energy for __, I feel more __.” Describe the differences you'd notice in a well-rested, balanced version of you. This vision can be motivating – it's not a fantasy, it's something that can gradually become reality as you experiment with what works for you. What part of that vision could you start working towards now?Take your time with these questions – you might even revisit them periodically, because your needs can change over time or in different seasons of life. The purpose is to increase your self-awareness and to spark ideas for adjustments that can lead to better energy management.ConclusionWe've covered a lot in this episode, so let's briefly recap: The simple “social battery” idea doesn't quite cut it for AuDHD brains because our energy drains on multiple fronts – masking, sensory overwhelm, executive function effort, chronic stress, and missing our internal signals. Just “resting” in a generic sense often isn't enough; we need the right kind of rest for the right kind of tired. The physiology of our brains and bodies explains why this exhaustion is real and not laziness. And the good news is, there are strategies to help – from mixing up the types of rest you get, to planning recovery time, to advocating for your needs and learning to read your body's signals better.I hope you found some validation in this – you're not alone in feeling this exhaustion, and you're not failing when rest doesn't magically fix it. It's a complex issue, but you can make progress by understanding your unique energy profile. Even small tweaks – like using earplugs in a noisy place or taking a 10-minute brain break – can yield noticeable benefits. Remember, you deserve to feel restored and it is possible with patience and practice.Thank you for joining me today on Authentically ADHD. I'm proud of you for taking this time to learn about how to better care for yourself. If this episode resonated with you, feel free to share it with friends or anyone who might be running on empty and not know why. And if you have your own tips or experiences with the “social battery” and AuDHD life, I'd love to hear them – you can reach out on my socials or leave a comment.Paid subscribers get the downloadable “AuDHD Social Battery Decoder Kit” — a printable, fillable workbook that turns today's episode into actual tools you can use when you're fried.If you've ever rested and still felt exhausted, it's not because you're doing rest “wrong.” It's because your brain wasn't depleted by “socializing” alone — it was depleted by masking, sensory load, executive function taxes, stress activation, and not noticing your needs until your system was running on fumes.This kit helps you:identify what actually drained youmatch the right kind of rest to the system that's depletedbuild simple recovery ritualsuse copy/paste scripts when your brain goes blankplan your week like an AuDHD nervous system deservesIt's practical. It's kind. And it's designed for brains that hate homework.Until next time, be kind to yourself, pay attention to those batteries, and remember: rest isn't a reward, it's a necessity. Stay authentic and we will talk soon!This Substack is reader-supported. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.Paid Bonus at end of this: Get full access to carmen_authenticallyadhd at carmenauthenticallyadhd.substack.com/subscribe
If you've ever set the same goal over & over again… then quietly stopped trying… then used that as “proof” that you never follow through, this episode is for you.We're talking about shame-based goals: the goals you set because you believe there's something wrong with you that needs fixing.“I have to lose weight because I'm disgusting.” “I need to stop yelling at my kids because I'm a terrible parent.” “I should save money because I'm so bad with it.”On the surface, they look like normal goals. But under the hood, they're being fuelled by shame & shame is one of the least effective fuels for an ADHD brain.Inside the episode, we unpack:Why adults with ADHD often don't trust themselves to follow throughHow shame-based goals quietly turn into evidence that “I'm lazy / hopeless / broken”What psychology tells us about thoughts → feelings → actions (why shame shuts you down)The difference between guilt (“I did something bad”) & shame (“I am bad”)How shame shows up in common ADHD goals around weight, money, parenting, business & habitsWhy inconsistency is not the problem & how it actually fits an ADHD brain3 Practical steps to un-shame your goals so they become doable instead of punishingThis episode is valuable whether you love New Year's resolutions, hate them, or avoid goal-setting altogether. It's really about how you relate to change, & why “beating yourself up” has never worked.This is a re-release because the ideas here are foundational for ADHDers: if your goals are built on shame, no planner, habit tracker or dopamine hack can fix that.LINKS TO GOOD SH*T:*Join Adulting with ADHD your ADHD toolbox & everything you need to work with your brain*Get our ADHD Coach in your pocket! *12 Things I wished my Doctor had told me about Adult ADHD*Find out if you might be living with ADHD - Download Symptoms List*Check out Courses & Coaching with Xena*Learn, Inspire, Share & Connect inside our Facebook Community *Come hang out with me on Instagram!
Click here to join me for Rejection Sensitivity 101: Understanding It. Soothing It. Healing It. If you've ever felt constantly on edge in your relationships—reading into tone changes, bracing for rejection, or waiting for the other shoe to drop—this episode is for you.Today, I'm unpacking rejection sensitivity: why it shows up so strongly for ADHDers, how it gets wired into the nervous system, and what it actually looks like to heal it in real life.I share a clear before-and-after from my own marriage—how I used to interpret neutral moments as danger, and how learning to regulate my nervous system completely changed the way I show up in relationship.You'll learn:Why rejection sensitivity isn't you being “too sensitive,” but your nervous system doing its jobHow ADHD intensifies rejection sensitivityWhat keeps old “walking on eggshells” patterns alive in safe adult relationshipsThe four shifts that helped me move from fear and reassurance-seeking to grounded self-trustHow to tell the difference between real rejection, perceived rejection, and someone else's bad dayHealing rejection sensitivity doesn't make you bulletproof—it makes you discerning. It helps you stop treating safe people like they're dangerous and start trusting yourself instead of the emotional weather of others.You don't have to walk on eggshells forever.Self-trust is learnable. Emotional steadiness is learnable.And your relationships can become places of safety—not fear.Watch this episode on YouTubeWant help with your ADHD? Join FOCUSED!Have questions for Kristen? Call 1.833.281.2343Hang out with Kristen on Instagram and TikTokGo to drinkag1.com/ihaveadhd toUnlock 7 free gifts worth $126 during DecemberSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tired of ADHD strategies that don't work? Here's what actually does. FREE training here: https://programs.tracyotsuka.com/signup_____Join Tracy as she breaks her women only guest rule by welcoming Dr. Edward Hallowell to Episode 106 of ADHD for Smart Ass Women. If you know anything at all about ADHD you recognize Dr. Hallowell's name as the leading authority in the field of ADHD. Dr. Hallowell is a board-certified child and adult psychiatrist, and a New York Times bestselling author. He, along with Dr. John Ratey wrote what Tracy considers to be the bible of ADHD, Driven to Distraction. Now retired from the faculty of Harvard Medical School, Dr. Hallowell has been featured on 20/20, 60 Minutes, Oprah, PBS, CNN, Today, Good Morning America, and in The New York Times, USA Today, Newsweek, Time. He is a regular columnist for ADDitude magazine, and is also the host of his weekly podcast called Distraction. Dr. Hallowell is the founder of The Hallowell Centers in Boston, New York City, San Francisco, Palo Alto, and Seattle. He lives in the Boston area with his wife and their three grown children.Dr. Hallowell shares the circumstances surrounding his ADHD diagnosis, Why he and Dr. John Ratey decided to write their new book ADHD 2.0: New Science and Essential Strategies for Thriving with Distraction. Who he wrote this book for, Why most medical professionals have ignored the strengths in ADHD for so long, His opinion on ADHD and intelligence, Exciting research around the task positive network and default mode network and how you can use them to benefit the ADHD brain, The ADHDers need to create and constantly improve their life, Why those of us with ADHD should never worry alone, Where he believes the field of ADHD research and treatment is going, Whether he believes that there's a relationship between introversion/extroversion and ADHD types, Why ADHD women have not been part of ADHD studies.Resources:Website: drhallowell.comADHD 2.0 Book: https://drhallowell.com/read/books-by-nedAmazon: ADHD 2.0: https://www.amazon.com/ADHD-2-0-EssenSend a Message: Your Name | Email | Message If this podcast helps you understand your ADHD brain, Shift helps you train it. Practice mindset work in just 10 minutes a day. Learn more at tracyotsuka.com/shift Instead of Struggling to figure out what to do next? ADHD isn't a productivity problem. It's an identity problem. That's why most strategies don't stick—they weren't designed for how your brain actually works. Your ADHD Brain is A-OK Academy is different. It's a patented, science-backed coaching program that helps you stop fighting your brain and start building a life that fits.
In this episode, I'm diving into a topic that comes up all the time with my clients and listeners: vaping and nicotine addiction in adults with ADHD. I'm joined by Dr. Marc Picot—GP, health coach, former vaper, and founder of Vape Escape—who brings both clinical expertise and lived experience to this conversation. Together, we unpack why ADHD brains are especially vulnerable to nicotine, how vaping can feel like self-medication, and what's really happening with dopamine, focus, and emotional regulation behind the scenes.Dr. Marc also shares practical, compassionate insights for anyone who's tried to quit (and maybe relapsed more than once), including what withdrawal can look like for ADHDers, how vaping can interfere with ADHD medication, and why shame has no place in the quitting process. Whether you're thinking about quitting, actively trying, or supporting someone who is, this episode is packed with clarity, validation, and hope—without judgment or quick fixes.Dr. Marc Picot is a vaping cessation expert, GP (family physician), health coach, and former vaper. After becoming addicted to vaping during a period of depression, he turned his personal experience into a passion for helping others quit. He is the founder of Vape Escape, a digital support service for people struggling with vaping addiction, and the author of The Last Puff. Dr. Marc now works with individuals worldwide, combining medical expertise with compassionate, practical guidance to support long-term recovery from nicotine dependence. Episode Highlights:[0:36] – Welcoming Dr. Marc Picot and why vaping is such a big issue for adults with ADHD [1:52] – The brain chemistry connection: dopamine, norepinephrine, and ADHD [4:58] – Vaping as self-medication and why it “works” in the short term [7:02] – How nicotine peaks and crashes worsen ADHD symptoms over time [8:29] – Why vaping can make ADHD medication feel less effective [11:06] – Dr. Marc's personal story: depression, withdrawal, and fear of relapse [12:57] – Different ways to quit: cold turkey vs. gradual nicotine reduction [18:45] – Cravings, dopamine, and finding healthier pattern interrupts [22:39] – What the first week without vaping is really like [26:01] – Relapse, shame, and why most people don't quit on the first try [29:37] – Common mistakes when quitting and the power of education [32:07] – Dr. Marc's book The Last Puff and who it's for [33:59] – Final advice for ADHDers struggling with vaping Links & ResourcesVape Escape: https://vapeescape.org.ukThe Last Puff by Dr. Marc PicotThank you for tuning into "SuccessFULL with ADHD." If this episode has impacted you, remember to rate, follow, share, and review our podcast. Your support helps us reach and help more individuals navigating their journeys with ADHD.
On this episode: Nate and Aaron are like Johnny Carson and Ed McMahon. Nate looks forward to these. Aaron updates on the app.This week, Nate and Aaron interview Josh Bales. Josh is a Chattanooga, TN native living in Orlando, FL. He is a husband, father, musician, priest, therapist and an ADHDer. There is music and other arts. There is discussion probing “how do you play”? Should you do what you love for work? Other topics include: cleaning up behind elephants at the circus, duty, empathy, responsibility, and learning and honoring your art.Links: Josh Bales Incarnation OviedoNEW Samson Community App (Apple store) NEW Samson Community App (Google Store) 2026 Samson Summit If you have thoughts or questions and you'd like the guys to address in upcoming episodes or suggestions for future guests, please drop a note to piratemonkpodcast@gmail.com.The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society.For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com. Support for the women in our lives who have been impacted by our choices is available at sarahsociety.com.The Pirate Monk Podcast is provided by Samson Society, a ministry of Samson House, a 501(c)3 nonprofit. To enjoy future Pirate Monk podcasts, please consider a contribution to Samson House. Josh Bales Josh Bales Singer-Songwriter, Counselor, Anglican/Episcopal Priest The official website of Josh Bales: singer-songwriter and recording artist, mental health counselor, and Anglican/Episcopal Priest in Orlando, Florida. App Store Samson Community App - App Store Download Samson Community by Samson House on the App Store. See screenshots, ratings and reviews, user tips, and more games like Samson Community. https://apps.apple.com/us/app/samson-community/id6749582016 play.google.com Samson Society - Apps on Google Play Brotherhood & recovery hub
On this episode: Nate and Aaron are like Johnny Carson and Ed McMahon. Nate looks forward to these. Aaron updates on the app.This week, Nate and Aaron interview Josh Bales. Josh is a Chattanooga, TN native living in Orlando, FL. He is a husband, father, musician, priest, therapist and an ADHDer. There is music and other arts. There is discussion probing “how do you play”? Should you do what you love for work? Other topics include: cleaning up behind elephants at the circus, duty, empathy, responsibility, and learning and honoring your art.Links: Josh Bales Incarnation OviedoNEW Samson Community App (Apple store) NEW Samson Community App (Google Store) 2026 Samson Summit If you have thoughts or questions and you'd like the guys to address in upcoming episodes or suggestions for future guests, please drop a note to piratemonkpodcast@gmail.com.The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society.For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com. Support for the women in our lives who have been impacted by our choices is available at sarahsociety.com.The Pirate Monk Podcast is provided by Samson Society, a ministry of Samson House, a 501(c)3 nonprofit. To enjoy future Pirate Monk podcasts, please consider a contribution to Samson House. Josh Bales Josh Bales Singer-Songwriter, Counselor, Anglican/Episcopal Priest The official website of Josh Bales: singer-songwriter and recording artist, mental health counselor, and Anglican/Episcopal Priest in Orlando, Florida. App Store Samson Community App - App Store Download Samson Community by Samson House on the App Store. See screenshots, ratings and reviews, user tips, and more games like Samson Community. https://apps.apple.com/us/app/samson-community/id6749582016 play.google.com Samson Society - Apps on Google Play Brotherhood & recovery hub
Is it possible to have a brain wired for entrepreneurship, but actually thrive best within traditional employment? In this insightful episode, host Diann Wingert flips the script on the common narrative in both the ADHD and business worlds: that entrepreneurial traits automatically mean you should start your own business. Instead, she explores the concept of intrapreneurship—bringing creativity, innovation, and entrepreneurial spirit into an existing organization—and how this path might be the most strategic decision for many ADHDers.If you're wrestling with the decision to go solo or stay employed, give this episode a listen. It just might give you permission to build a life—and career—that truly works for your brain.Three key takeaways:Entrepreneurial traits ≠ Entrepreneurial career: You can be creative, visionary, and disruptive without having to start your own business. Don't fall for the myth that employment is “settling.”Intrapreneurship unlocks impact & stability: Express your entrepreneurial strengths inside an organization. Lead without authority, innovate processes, and treat your role like you own it—while benefiting from structure, resources, and a steady paycheck.Signs that traditional employment isn't right for you:Not everyone is meant to shine as an intrapreneur. If every manager is a nightmare, structure feels suffocating, or your best ideas die in committee, maybe going solo is your move. But it's all about matching your brain and real life with the right path—not shame, not hustle-culture FOMO.Workplace roles & cultures where ADHD-ish traits thrive:Look for product development, business strategy, internal consulting, startups, project-based work, or innovation labs. Go where experimenters are rewarded, hierarchies are flatter, and outcomes matter more than bureaucracy.Mic Drop Moment:“Infrastructure isn't the enemy of innovation. Structure, when it's the right structure, is what lets your brain do what it does best without getting derailed by all the shit you hate doing."Action Step:Take 10 mins for honest self-reflection. Where do you really do your best work? What structure supports you? Then, make the choice that serves your life—not LinkedIn optics or anyone else's expectations.About the Host:Diann Wingert (she/her) is seasoned coach, consultant and the creator/host of ADHD-ish. Drawing from her many years of experience as a former psychotherapist, business owner, and someone who thinks "outside the box," Diann is known for her straight-talking, no-nonsense approach to the intersection of neurodiversity and the world of work.Enjoyed the Episode?Share your thoughts! Leave a review and let Diann know what resonated, challenged, or inspired you. Your feedback helps ADHD-ish reach more listeners who need to hear these honest conversations. © 2025 ADHD-ish Podcast. Intro music by Ishan Dincer / Melody Loops / Outro music by Vladimir / Bobi Music / All rights reserved.
Is it possible to have a brain wired for entrepreneurship, but actually thrive best within traditional employment? This insightful episode flips the script on the common narrative in both the ADHD and business worlds: that entrepreneurial traits automatically mean you should start your own business. Instead, host Diann Wingert explores the concept of intrapreneurship—bringing creativity, innovation, and entrepreneurial spirit into an existing organization—and how this path might be the most strategic decision for many ADHDers.If you're wrestling with the decision to go solo or stay employed, give this episode a listen. It just might give you permission to build a life—and career—that truly works for your brain.Three key takeaways:Entrepreneurial traits ≠ Entrepreneurial career: You can be creative, visionary, and disruptive without having to start your own business. Don't fall for the myth that employment is “settling.”Intrapreneurship unlocks impact & stability: Express your entrepreneurial strengths inside an organization. Lead without authority, innovate processes, and treat your role like you own it—while benefiting from structure, resources, and a steady paycheck.Signs that traditional employment isn't right for you:Not everyone is meant to shine as an intrapreneur. If every manager is a nightmare, structure feels suffocating, or your best ideas die in committee, maybe going solo is your move. But it's all about matching your brain and real life with the right path—not shame, not hustle-culture FOMO.Workplace roles & cultures where ADHD-ish traits thrive:Look for product development, business strategy, internal consulting, startups, project-based work, or innovation labs. Go where experimenters are rewarded, hierarchies are flatter, and outcomes matter more than bureaucracy.Mic Drop Moment:“Infrastructure isn't the enemy of innovation. Structure, when it's the right structure, is what lets your brain do what it does best without getting derailed by all the shit you hate doing."Action Step:Take 10 mins for honest self-reflection. Where do you really do your best work? What structure supports you? Then, make the choice that serves your life—not LinkedIn optics or anyone else's expectations.About the Host:Diann Wingert is a seasoned business coach, consultant and speaker. Drawing from her many years of experience as a former psychotherapist, serial business owner, and someone who thinks "outside the box," ADHD-ish host, Diann is known for her straight-talking, no-nonsense approach to the intersection of neurodiversity and the world of work. Enjoyed the Episode?Share your thoughts! Leave a review and let Diann know what resonated, challenged, or inspired you. Your feedback helps ADHD-ish reach more listeners who need to hear these honest conversations. © 2025 ADHD-ish Podcast. Intro music by Ishan Dincer / Melody Loops / Outro music by Vladimir / Bobi Music / All rights reserved.
If you're an ADHDer trying to juggle relationships, parenting, big emotions, money decisions, executive dysfunction… and ya know, life - this episode is going to feel like a giant exhale.Today I'm joined by Logan Donnelly - the face behind KiwiDad & creator of The Social AI.You may know him from his viral parenting and relationship tips… or from his work teaching people how to use AI to make life simpler, easier & way less overwhelming.Logan and his wife were both diagnosed with ADHD later in life & between entrepreneurship, marriage & raising two young kids, he brings a deeply relatable, honest & refreshing perspective on what it really looks like to navigate ADHD in everyday life.Inside this episode, we dive into:ADHD in relationships - communication, overstimulation & emotional mismatchesParenting with ADHD (and why we're exhausted even when we “haven't done much”)ADHD money spirals, dopamine spending & the shame that followsEmotional regulation, RSD spirals & how to pull yourself outHow Logan uses AI to make life, business & parenting easier The story behind the Good Enough Coach - our ADHD-specific AI support tool
This week, Kristen chats with Bill, Creative & Executive Director of ArtPhilly, who is currently helping mastermind a city-wide arts festival for America's 250th birthday. He's smart, creative, high-capacity… and, like many ADHDers, he hit the limit of what his frontal lobe could juggle.And then? He hired help — aka he hired himself a frontal lobe.And everything changed.This interview is full of laughs, honesty, and so many “OMG SAME” moments.In this episode, Bill talks about:His ADHD story and how long he tried to push through on grit aloneThe stuckness and overwhelm that finally made him say, “Okay… I need an extra brain”What the hiring process was actually like — awkward, liberating, and so worth itWhy paying for help isn't indulgent — it's ADHD brain maintenanceHow getting support expanded his peace, confidence, and capacityThe big idea:If you've ever told yourself, “I should be able to do this myself,” Bill's story gives you the permission slip you've been waiting for. If you have money to spend, hiring help isn't a luxury — it's a way of outsourcing executive function so you can actually live the life you're trying to build.Watch this episode on YouTubeWant help with your ADHD? Join FOCUSED!Have questions for Kristen? Call 1.833.281.2343Hang out with Kristen on Instagram and TikTokGo to drinkag1.com/ihaveadhd, to unlock 7 gifts worth $126 during DecemberSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Emily Kircher-Morris and Dr. William Dodson have a conversation about the complexities of ADHD, in which they discuss emotional dysregulation, Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD), and social anxiety. They talk about how RSD manifests in ADHDers, and how we can distinguish it from social anxiety. They also explore the impact of childhood experiences, the vital role of relationships, and the need for updated diagnostic criteria. This conversation was taken from a two-part series earlier in 2025. TAKEAWAYS Emotional dysregulation is often overlooked in ADHD diagnoses. RSD is a specific condition affecting many with ADHD; the pain can be both emotional and physical, leading to significant life impairments. Social anxiety is anticipatory, while rejection sensitivity is reactive; they can coexist but are distinct. Childhood experiences can exacerbate RSD but are not the sole cause. Medication, alongside sleep, nutrition, structure, and routine, plays a vital role in emotional regulation. Mood disorders can manifest independently of external events, and a significant percentage of individuals with ADHD have coexisting psychiatric diagnoses. Understanding RSD is essential for clinicians, and psychoeducation is key to self-advocacy. Here's the research project Emily mentions in her closing thoughts. Dr. Bill Dodson is a board-certified adult psychiatrist who has specialized in adults with Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder for the last 27 years. In recognition of his clinical contributions to the field of ADHD he was named a Life Fellow of the APA in 2012. He was the 2006 recipient of the national Maxwell J. Schleifer Award for Distinguished Service to Persons with Disabilities. His contributions to the field of ADHD include: The only currently available methodology for the fine-tuning of ADHD medications. The concept of Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria and its treatment with medications. The first non-behavioral theory of what ADHD is and how it can be treated successfully with an emphasis on what goes right rather than what goes wrong. BACKGROUND READING Bill Dodson's website, Dr Dodson's contributions to ADDitude magazine
In this episode, I sit down with David—a long-time FOCUSED member turned coach—to talk about what it really looks like to work in tech with an ADHD brain. David shares how he found his way into the tech world, the challenges he faced behind the scenes, and the systems he built to survive (and eventually thrive).We explore:The hardest parts of tech culture for an ADHDerThe moments where David's brain said, “Nope,” and how he recoveredThe tools, structures, and hacks that actually work for himWhy traditional productivity advice falls flat for ADHDers in high-pressure tech rolesHow he transformed the way he works, thinks, and leads—through coaching and communityYou'll also hear a bit about his move from England to the U.S., how cultural differences shaped his ADHD experience, and how stepping into a coaching role helped him grow in unexpected ways.Watch this episode on YouTubeWant help with your ADHD? Join FOCUSED!Have questions for Kristen? Call 1.833.281.2343Hang out with Kristen on Instagram and TikTokSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Today we're shining a big bright neon light on the strengths, advantages & downright magical things ADHDers bring to the table. Inside this episode, we get into the real-life ways ADHD brains excel, including:✨ Crisis Brilliance - why we become geniuses the moment things go sideways (wait until you hear my first-day-as-manager story
This week we learn about the incredible power of body doubling! Whether you're an ADHDer like me, or not, body doubling can supercharge your time management and follow through in getting any task done.Body doubling is about having someone alongside you for motivation and accountability when you're doing a job. You might know the right thing to do, have the necessary skills and mastery to do it… but for some reason are unable to just get it done on your own… you're not alone!Heaps of people tell me that they use this podcast as their body double. they pop it on while they declutter, organise, tidy, clean etc and because they're familiar with me and my voice it acts as a body double. That makes my heart sing – I'm always happy to be your body double
Emotional planning sounds like one of those concepts you think you already understand — until you realize it has nothing to do with mood journaling, crystal grids, or color-coding your feelings. What Nikki brings forward in this conversation is something far more practical: the idea that ADHD motivation doesn't start with logic. It starts with emotion. And if we learn to work with that reality instead of trying to muscle our way through it, the whole experience of getting things done changes.This episode was sparked by a discussion inside GPS, where members were reflecting on our earlier conversation with financial coach Nicole Stanley. Nicole talked about how emotionally meaningful goals are the ones we actually stick with — even when motivation falters. That hit a nerve. If emotional meaning helps us save money, why can't it help us take out the trash, send the email, or finally make that dreaded insurance phone call?From there, Nikki pulls the curtain back on the truth most ADHDers already know in their bones: motivation isn't something you summon by force. You can't shame yourself into momentum. You can't logic your way into action. And no amount of telling yourself you “should just do it” will magically conjure wind in your sails.We talk instead about how to invite motivation in: through novelty, stimulation, environment shifts, sensory comfort, short timers, playful challenges, and co-working with others who get it. We look closely at body doubling — not as a trend, but as an ADHD-power-tool that reliably flips the activation switch for so many of us. We explore how accountability creates connection, how structure eases initiation, and how changing a setting (or a soundtrack… or even a pen) can lighten the emotional load of tasks we avoid.And finally, we dig into the heart of emotional planning: identifying meaning in the task itself. Not fake meaning, not “I should care about this,” but real alignment — who benefits, what value the task honors, and how it makes life easier for future you. By the time Pete unexpectedly processes his own insurance-related avoidance live on the show, emotional planning has become more than a coaching tool. It's a reframing — one that reminds us that motivation isn't a moral quality; it's a relationship between emotion and action.If you've been stuck, stalled, circling a task like it's a shark in shallow water, this episode gives you both language and strategy to step toward it with less dread. It's not about forcing motivation. It's about building the conditions where motivation has an easier time finding you.Links & NotesSupport the Show on PatreonDig into the podcast Shownotes Database (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (00:56) - Support the Show at Patreon.com/theadhdpodcast (02:41) - Emotional Planning (13:08) - Invite Meaning In ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★
If you've ever bought a new planner, downloaded a productivity app, colour-coded a calendar, or told yourself “THIS time I'll get my sh*t together”… only to burn out, fall off, or forget it exists. Then this episode is for you!Because the truth is this:You don't need a perfect system.You don't need more willpower.You don't need to become a different person.You just need to understand how to work with your ADHD brain, not against it.In today's episode, I'm sharing something I normally only give to my members inside Adulting with ADHD. The exact four principles that change everything for ADHD adults who want to feel better, get sh*t done & actually move forward in life.These four things are the difference between: spiralling vs regulating shame vs having your own back chaos vs clarity surviving vs actually livingAnd they're not complicated 52-step routines.They're simple, ADHD-friendly shifts that make your whole life easier - starting today!And if listening makes something inside you go, “Shit… that actually makes sense”… then you will thrive inside Adulting with ADHD.Inside this program, we take these four principles & combine them with:
Today we are talking about fitness. Why is it so dang hard for an ADHDer to be successful with diet and exercise?! Well, fitness pro Lucy Cooke is here to help us out! Lucy's Links:Lucy's Food Freedom Fix Program - use coupon code PODCAST for 20% offADHD and Fitness event at ADHD Big BrotherLucy's instagram @lucy_liftyourlifeThe time I guested on Lucy's podcast: The Not So Neurotypical Podcast on YouTubeThe Not So Neurotypical Podcast on SpotifyLucy's BioLucy Cooke is the founder and head coach of Lift Your Life Coaching- a fitness coaching company that specializes in supporting neurodivergent individuals to make health and fitness fit their brains. She specializes in helping people to break start stop cycles, and utilize exercise and nutrition to thrive in mind and body.***************NEW EBOOK! Get "The S.Y.S.T.E.M.", my new ebook that gives you my step-by-step guide to clearing your monstrous to do list. It's what I use, maybe it will work for you. Click Here to Purchase Interested in getting unstuck, gaining confidence, and consistency? Book a free chat with Russ and let's explore if/how I can help! Get my FREE PDF for instant un-stuck-ification when you get my newsletter. My Ready S.E.T. Go method will get you started when getting started is unstartable. Click here for the free PDF. ⚡️ Come see what ADHDBB is all about! We are a community built on action. Join us for daily accountability, peer support with Russ and friends, and a FREE coaching call with Russ when you join. You don't have to wing it alone. We got you.
Have you ever looked at someone wildly successful & thought “There's no way they have ADHD”?Well my friend, buckle up… because in this episode we're celebrating 14 big achievers who all have ADHD (some with a little extra neuro-spice too!). Their success isn't in spite of ADHD - it's often because of it.From world-class athletes like Simone Biles and Michael Phelps, to powerhouse entrepreneurs like Mel Robbins, Steven Bartlett, Gary Vee &Richard Branson, to creatives and change-makers like Anika Moa, Will.i.am, Chlöe Swarbrick & David Goggins - each one has learned to harness their fast, curious, restless, sparkly brain and turn it into fuel for greatness.You'll hear: Why ADHD traits like hyper-focus, impulsivity & drive can become huge advantages How late diagnosis transformed lives & careers Why success can look more zig-zaggy for ADHD brains & why that's not a bad thingYou know that saying: you are the sum of the five people you spend the most time with?As you listen, think about who you want to be the sum of. Who inspires you, motivates you & reminds you what's possible for your life?
If you've ever felt overwhelmed by advice to “hack your dopamine,” or wondered why traditional approaches feel incomplete, this interview with Dr. Miguel Toribio-Mateas, “The Creative Scientist,” delivers refreshing insights and compassionate tools for thriving as a neurodivergent human. ADHDers often spend years trying to “fix” themselves from the outside in—through medication, planners, routines, and hacks—only to discover that true thriving might come from learning to listen to and trust their bodies. Dr Miguel introduces the concept of embodied neuroscience and explains why ADHD is far more than a brain-based disorder, unraveling the complex interplay between our nervous system, gut health, hormones, and emotional regulation.Get ready to rethink what it means to support ADHD—from the inside out.Episode Highlights:It's Not Just Dopamine: Sure, dopamine's part of the story. But Dr Miguel reminds us it's just one instrument in a much bigger orchestra of brain and body chemistry. ADHD isn't just a “brain disorder”—it's an embodied experience, affected by everything from our gut health to our hormones and daily rhythms.Stop Trying to “Hack” Yourself: Instead of endless hacks, planners, and productivity tools, what if we tuned into our internal signals? Think: listening to hunger cues, taking movement breaks, honoring our need for rest—a holistic approach that begins on the inside.Self-Trust Is Everything: If you've ever struggled to trust your thoughts, feelings, or impulses, you're not alone. The conversation offered hope: as we learn to regulate (and accept!) our unique internal ecosystem, intuition and awareness can flourish.Bringing it Back Home: Instead of survival mode, Dr. Miguel encourages us to “come back home” to ourselves—filling our cups with connection, nourishment, movement, and acceptance, rather than burning out on outside fixes. There's no quick hack for radical self-acceptance, but embracing all facets of our ADHD is a powerful start.ADHD as an Advantage: Messy, complex, and beautifully curious—these traits can be assets in business and life. Don't let anyone oversimplify you! Meet Our Guest Dr Miguel Toribio-Mateas is a clinical neuroscientist, applied microbiologist, and nutritionist whose work bridges brain, body, and lived experience. For over 2 decades, he has explored how the gut, nervous system, and microbiome shape mood, focus, and emotional balance. Miguel is an Honorary Research Fellow at Cardiff University's School of Psychology and lectures in nutrition at the University of West London. His forthcoming book, “ADHD Body and Mind” (Jessica Kingsley Publishers) will be published in 2026. Website - LinkedIn - Instagram - Substack - Thrive With ADHD Course Make it Practical: Practice Tuning Into Your Body: Notice and respond to basic bodily needs (hunger, thirst, bio breaks, rest, or movement) instead of ignoring or suppressing them during hyperfocus or stress; and pay attention to signals of over- or understimulation Shift from External Fixes to Internal Awareness: Take time to notice what your body and emotions are asking for and explore...
What would workplaces look like if being different wasn't something to hide - but something to harness?In this energising and honest conversation, I'm joined by Callum McKirdy, speaker, author, and workplace culture expert, to explore how ADHD and neurodiversity can drive innovation, creativity & connection - when we make it safe for people to show up as themselves.Together, we unpack:What it looks like to harness ADHD in the workplaceHow curiosity & kindness transform conversations between ADHDers & leadersWhy professionalism often masks authenticity and how to bring play & fun back to workThe hidden cost of trying to fit in (and how difference actually fuels success)What true inclusion looks like - for ADHDers, neurotypicals & everyone in betweenThis episode is a permission slip to stop shrinking yourself to fit the mould and start building workplaces where everyone belongs, contributes & thrives.ABOUT CALLUM: Callum McKirdy is a speaker, author, facilitator and coach specialising in workplace dynamics and behaviour having spent the past 25 years assisting leaders and teams to make the best use of their uniqueness – individually and collectively.Starting his HR career in central government, Callum traversed senior HR/OD roles across the public, private and NfP sectors before founding his workplace behaviour consultancy practice LeadingIdeas Ltd in 2012. Over the past decade he has written and contributed to several books and trained Corporate teams using his Catalyst model of internal customer service to help HR, Finance, IT, Comms and Executive teams to better serve those they support.Proudly dyslexic and ADHD-positive, Callum champions organisations to think differently about different thinking, and challenges leaders to harness their own and their teams' differences to be better, together – whatever better means to them.Callum speaks at industry conferences, facilitates high-impact workshops, trains teams, and coaches professionals and leaders with ADHD via his ADHD+ online community, as well as hosts the You, Me & ADHD podcast.CONNECT WTIH CALLUM: Via his website: www.callummckirdy.com And over on LinkedInFor free resources & support from Navigating Adult ADHD visit: https://www.navigatingadultadhd.com/To check out paid courses & coaching with Xena visit: https://www.navigatingadultadhd.com/work-with-me
Ever felt so bored you'd rather do anything — even something you'll regret — just to avoid that restless, agitated feeling? In this episode, Dr. Marcy Caldwell breaks down why boredom feels like torture, what's really happening in the brain and body, and why ADHDers crave stimulation (even the bad kind sometimes).We dig into:The two types of boredom — apathetic vs. agitatedWhat the “optimal stimulation zone” actually meansWhy boredom spikes stress hormones like cortisolAnd practical ways to manage boredom without blowing up your life for excitementDr. Caldwell brings her signature mix of neuroscience and real-world wisdom to help us understand — and work with — our restless, stimulation-seeking brains.Watch this episode on YouTubeWant help with your ADHD? Join FOCUSED!Have questions for Kristen? Call 1.833.281.2343Hang out with Kristen on Instagram and TikTokGo to drinkag1.com/ihaveadhd to get a FREE Frother with your first purchase of AGZ.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Do you ever wake up tired, even after a full night's sleep?In this episode we're unpacking the 7 types of rest your brain & body actually need and why lying on the couch or binging Netflix never feels truly recharging.You'll learn:The 7 different types of rest Why ADHD brains resist rest (and what to do about it)The difference between numbing vs restoringHow to sprinkle micro-rests into your day - especially when you're busyThis one's a gentle permission slip to rest in ways that feel engaging, nourishing & dopamine-friendly. Because rest isn't simply about doing nothing - it's about giving your brain & body what it really needs to refuel.For free resources & support visit: https://www.navigatingadultadhd.com/To check out paid courses & coaching with Xena visit: https://www.navigatingadultadhd.com/work-with-me
Welcome to Hacking Your ADHD. I'm your host, William Curb. On this podcast, we dig into tools, tactics, and best practices to help you work with your ADHD brain. Today I'm joined by Skye Waterson for our Research Recap series. In this series, we usually look at a single research paper, but today we're covering two and pulling out practical takeaways. We'll discuss two papers on ADHD strengths: Strengths and Challenges to Embrace Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder in Employment: A Systematic Review, and Paradoxical Career Strengths and Successes of ADHD Adults: An Evolving Narrative. I love an "evolving narrative," and the way papers are named. Before we get started, I'd love to hear what you think of these Research Recaps. If you have thoughts or a paper/topic you want us to review, head over to hackingadhd.com/contact and let us know. New episodes of Research Recap come out every other Friday. All right—let's get into it If you'd life to follow along on the show notes page you can find that at https://HackingYourADHD.com/254 https://tinyurl.com/56rvt9fr - Unconventional Organisation Affiliate link https://tinyurl.com/y835cnrk - YouTube https://www.patreon.com/HackingYourADHD - Patreon
On this episode: Aaron prepares new flip-flops and shares how he terrified people in the special olympics. Nate was neglected of comedy. They discuss Jesus being a comedian.This week, Nate and Aaron interview Ron Pearson. Ron is a comedian, actor, street performer, and ADHDer. Ron knows how to juggle, really well. He attributes his success to ADHD, connecting two things that don't seem related. Ron shares statistics that challenge those with ADHD as well as many strengths from it. He talks about youth trauma and its links to ADHD, addiction, and intimacy disorder. And this question: How can you be known if you can't express your feelings?Don't forget to rate and subscribe on your favorite podcast players. Nov 7-9, 2025 Santa Fe, NM Samson Summit Nov 7-9, 2025 The Wild & Sacred Journey, Womens Retreat If you have thoughts or questions and you'd like the guys to address in upcoming episodes or suggestions for future guests, please drop a note to piratemonkpodcast@gmail.com.The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society.For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com. Support for the women in our lives who have been impacted by our choices is available at sarahsociety.com.The Pirate Monk Podcast is provided by Samson Society, a ministry of Samson House, a 501(c)3 nonprofit. To enjoy future Pirate Monk podcasts, please consider a contribution to Samson House.Recovery is not for people who need it but for people who want it. Samson Society Help Us Reach More Men - Samson Society This site, built and maintained by Samson House, is an effort to turn the computer or smartphone—which has often served as an instrument of destruction—into an instrument of healing. Through this site and the Samson app, men all around the world are being invited into the kind of authentic conversation that actually meets our deep needs.
Check out the collection of fidgets Team Shiny loves! We gotta be able to handle hearing people talk about us, even when it's triggering and hard, because it can ultimately show us where the work is. And maybe you can be an expert on soething without having it yourself (like ADHD) but perhaps it requires a sense of curiosity, empathy, or some kind of introspection that recpognizes your lane, your scope, and your own biases? From anthropology and sociology to X-Men and who is Magneto and Charles Xavier, David and Isabelle meander through what it means to be an ally and also set up some solid recent hyperfixations.---We gotta tolerate hearing people talking about what they think about us, including people who have lots of degrees and expertise, and also know that each person doesn't have the answers. Maybe it has to do with conversations that people have about us without us ADHDers? Then again there are journalists, who don't have expertise but who can report on the data they get. David names that there are good and bad journalists, and there is critical thinking. How much about people's ADHD ‘expertise' includes interpersonal work and understanding about attachment, relationships, your own identity. Like, if you're an expert on ADHD and you're not friends with people who have ADHD outside of your work (if you yourself don't have it)—something to look at? David names that as therapists, we have this debate about multicultural approaches—do you need to have a white therapist to work with white clients, a Black therapist to work with Black therapists? You need to know your lane and your expertise. David's own therapist is not an expert in ADHD. And neither is Isabelle's. They know to ask us questions, can ask “how does this relate to ADHD?” We might be the person with ADHD that helps them better understand that. Allies don't want to get rid of parts of you, they want to help parts of you. An ally is different than a researcher, Isabelle wants to name that you need to be enough of an ally to a topic and be curious. In undergrad, she studied anthropology and archaeology, and it's a blend of super specific science and also lots of educated guessing. She remembers learning about participant observation in anthropology, that just by observing a culture or a group you are impacting the group. It's way more about noticing what your own biases are. David's own background in sociology, the idea of intersectionality. David didn't really think about ADHD or neurodiversity as a culture until college. He's a big comic book fan and he loved the X-Men. They're trying to hide their mutant powers to not be exploited by the government and the X-Men are trying to help these mutants and take them to saving. Charles Xavier and Magneto were portrayed to be iconic people. Magneto was Malcolm X while Charles Xavier was based on Martin Luther King, Jr. It's two different portrayals around protecting yourself—do you get violent and active or passive? Maybe the mutants are a great metaphor for neurodiversity as well as the civil rights war—if you have been marginalized you can have empathy toward other people who are marginalized. It's not so personal, people do things to us that they do to other marginalized groups. It can also signify that we have a culture. It would be if everyone says they have a pile of unfolded clothes that threaten your identity, your pile of mail—-culturally both David and Isabelle are both connected to the plan that they didn't want to leave it there. When we connect about parts of our culture. Isabelle and David so appreciate this conversation. Isabelle names asynchronous processing—she can't just off the cuff rattle off her ideas and also needs time to talk it out, externalize, and think about things beyond the initial moment or conversations. How important it is for us to keep having these conversations. Isabelle wonders if David is like Charles Xavier. He wishes he could be Charles Xavier. Isabelle might be Charles Xavier. Because maybe she loves or identifies with Patrick Stewart so much. So maybe David is Magneto—in the comic books they were best friends, and he was like “they'll never learn, we need to protect our people” whereas as the other is like “don't give in to our aggressive urges.” David needs to shout out: Dungeon Crawler Carl. Not wearing any pants, the cat jumps out of his house trying to get the cat out of the tree, and Carl can then go on an 18 level dungeon crawl and can save the planet earth. The audio book is a treasure, David is a big fan of role playing games, he consumed all seven books in less than three weeks. Isabelle names why cats get stuck in trees, their claws go the other way so they get stuck—but big cats can go backwards. Isabelle mentions an enneagram book that she really appreciates. She was hooked on Borders and loved it as a kid and would keep trying to have someone explain me to me, and one of those books was on the enneagram (which makes David feel like he went to the bathroom during learning fractions and never picked up on it). And she mispronounced it and would read the book at people. Because tell her she's neurospicy without telling her she's neurospicy.Stephanie Sarkis is an ADHD expert who also has ADHD X-Men and more on Patrick StewartThe American Psychological Association vote on 'homosexuality' being listed as a diagnosable mental disorder in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM) happened back in the LATE 80's (WHAAAATTTTT? yes).--there is a long history to depathologizing sexual identities, deeply impacted by tons of activism and advocacy. For more, you can see this NIH article on this history.Dungeon Crawler Carl seriesCats getting stuck on trees because of claw shape -- fascinatingly, going down backwards is a skill some cats can learn. Also, here is this website: Catrescueguy.com. *(you're welcome)*The amazing enneagram book Isabelle was trying to remember the title of -- The Unfiltered Enneagram by Elizabeth Orr------Cover Art by: Sol VázquezTechnical Support by: Bobby Richards Here's a nifty little promo code for those who either delayed gratification or who let this episode run through to the end because they were busy vacuuming.
The NZ Podcast Awards are now open!If Navigating Adult ADHD has ever helped you feel understood, less alone, or more equipped to work with your ADHD brain it would mean the absolute world if you took a minute to nominate the show.
Discover what's possible when you give room to grow. Can Applied Behavior Analysis ever be done safely? Dr. Shelby Dorsey –a BCBA, late-diagnosed autistic ADHDer and mother of two neurodivergent children– believes so. If you'd like to learn about a safe and personalized approach to autism services, stick around for part two of my conversation with Shelby. Among other things, we discuss: The harm that can arise from traditional ABA practices What it means to be happy, relaxed and engaged when learning How being autistic herself helps Shelby relate to her clients Setting goals for her clients only when they're an issue for themselves, not just for society How to create safe and effective ABA interventions The importance of welcoming new and diverse ideas Resources for clinicians seeking to improve their practice To learn more about Dr. Shelby Dorsey and her work, you can follow her on Instagram @drshelbydorsey. ----more---- We appreciate your time. If you enjoy this podcast and you'd like to support our mission, please take just a few seconds to share it with one person who you think will find value in it too. Follow us on Instagram: @autismpodcast Join our community on Mighty Networks: Global Autism Community Subscribe to our YouTube channel: Global Autism Project We would love to hear your feedback about the show. Please fill out this short survey to let us know your thoughts: Listener Survey
Join us! Hey, it's Eric. So, uh — I wasn't actually planning to record this… but I wanted to hop on for a minute, because this is it. We've got our last two registration events this week before our Fall ADHD reWired Coaching and Accountability Groups begin. They're happening Tuesday, October 14th, and Friday, October 17th — and after that, doors close until next year. Over the past ten years, we've worked with more than 1,200 ADHDers — helping folks build systems that actually stick… and the resilience to bounce back when they don't. Because let's be honest — sometimes they don't. That's kind of the point, right? Learning how to keep showing up, even when your brain makes that hard. If you've been listening for a while and thinking, “Maybe someday I'll do that,” — maybe this is that someday. And if you can't make one of the registration events, it's okay — once you finish pre-registration, you can also schedule a 1:1 registration call with me. Our Fall groups start October 23rd, so now's the time to jump in. Just head over to coachingrewired.com to get started. Again, that's coachingrewired.com. Hope I'll see you soon.
In this episode, our returning guest expert (and favorite friend of the podcast!) Dr. Nacchi Felt joins us to unveil the brand-new Cycle of Accountability—the life-direction loop that helps ADHD brains point their power at the right targets.Inside the loop:Alignment — Name your values (think truth, responsibility, gratitude) so decisions stop feeling random.Accountability — Drop the “shoulds.” Hold yourself to what you care about.Attention — Your attention is your presence. Reclaim it as your birthright.Attachment — Safe relationships supercharge the loop and keep you present.But here's the deeper truth: safety and acceptance are the foundation that make this loop possible. Being “safe” means you can be fully seen and still contained—someone can sit with you in your hardest moments without pulling away. That's a rare experience for many ADHDers, and therapy or coaching can provide a version of that safety while you learn to build it yourself. From playful co-regulation with a child to a friend's honest reassurance, relationships that combine honesty and containment create fertile ground for growth. When you experience that kind of attachment, it not only soothes your nervous system—it also strengthens your alignment with your values and makes accountability feel natural, not forced. You're not going to want to miss this episode!More from Dr. Felt here!Clearheaded: The ADHD Guide for Turning Overwhelm into Clarity, Calm, and Control
Money is rarely just about math—it's about stories, habits, emotions, and, for ADHDers, often a deep sense of shame. In this episode, Pete and Nikki sit down with Nicole Stanley, financial coach and founder of Arise Financial Coaching, to unpack the hidden ways ADHD intersects with our finances—and how we can finally start to build a healthier, ADHD-friendly relationship with money.Nicole shares her own diagnosis journey and the challenges of postpartum depression, financial anxiety, and feeling “not enough” as a new mom. From there, she walks us through how our early experiences shape money beliefs (most of us make up our financial mindset by age seven!), and why traditional budgeting advice so often fails the ADHD brain.This conversation is a blueprint for anyone who's ever felt overwhelmed, behind, or just exhausted trying to “do money right.” Nicole reframes key concepts: how to spot the real root of your financial stress, why automating your systems might be better than trying to “budget harder,” and how to emotionally connect to your goals so you're actually excited to follow through.Plus: what financial coaches really do, how ADHDers can leverage dopamine to create a positive money loop, and the five core financial problems that every person needs to identify before they can move forward. Whether you're in credit card debt, unsure where your money's going, or just sick of feeling behind—this episode is your permission to drop the shame and start where you are.Links & NotesArise Financial CoachingYNAB (You Need A Budget)Become a Supporting MemberJoin the ADHD Discord CommunityDig into the podcast Shownotes DatabaseBooks Mentioned in This Episode:The Simple Path to Wealth by J.L. CollinsYour Money or Your Life by Vicki Robin & Joe DominguezI Will Teach You to Be Rich by Ramit SethiHappy Money by Ken HondaYou mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid, or Crazy?! by Kate Kelly & Peggy RamundoDie with Zero: Getting All You Can from Your Money and Your Life by Bill Perkins (00:00) - Introducing Nicole Stanley (01:55) - Nicole's ADHD Journey (04:43) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (07:30) - ADHD Money Assumptions (13:17) - The Areas of our Financial Lives (17:57) - What does it mean to "retire well?" (33:22) - The Five Potential Problems in Your Financial Life (40:37) - Coaching, Counseling, Advising, Accounting ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★
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