Thot Topics

Ladies I gotta be honest this one was a fight to the finish line even off a couple cawktails... but we do it for YOU: the people. Where to even begin? Nothing happened to anyone on the entire planet this week so we decided to do what dreamers do best: look n word. *INWARD. Sorry, INWARD... Anyway, we pose the question that's been weighing heavy on our spirit and even heavier on our breasts: how many drinks do you consider to be a lot of drinks? What's the REAL tea when it comes to managing the party girl lifestyle? But that's not all: graduations, weddings, funerals, buying plane tickets on your laptop. So much is discussed it's impossible to capture the spirit in a measly episode description. You'll just have to find out, won't you fatty? TRY BROTEGE RETINOL SPF MOISTURIZER COURTESY OF THOT TOPICS! VISIT BROTEGE.COM/THOT AND USE PROMO CODE 'THOT' FOR 40% OFF YOUR ORDER. OR, IF YOU'RE A PATRON, BE ONE OF THE FIRST 5 TO COMMENT ON THIS EPISODE 'SO CREAMY' AND WE'LL SEND YOU A 100% OFF + FREE SHIPPING CODE TO TRY IT COMPLETELY FOR FREE! JUST ENTER THE CODE WE DM YOU AT BROTEGE.COM/THOT. Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Buy a girl a fuckin' drink first on Patreon.

Why it gotta be Black Dandy? HA! Oh... oh, because it's called that? Because it's about black guys who like fashion? Huh... alright. Can I get you another cocktail sir? WELCOME back to the Thot Topics red carpet coverage zone sponsored by E! News. This week, we review the many special outfits at the 2025 Met Gala and uh... we've seen better! Follow along with us with the Vogue list. There's certainly more where that came from though hunny. Take a seat because this is gonna be a rough one... Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Keep Doechii off the carpet in 2026 on Patreon.

You've heard of kissing cousins... now get ready for dick-sucking cousins! No one ever said podcasting would be easy-- luckily, we are more than up to the task, even in sweltering fucking HOT 70 degree weather in our beautiful city, baby. Let's get down to business! First, we check in on the inaugural round of the THOT TOPICS MUSIC LEAGUE (Join here!), shouting out our favorites and... others.... THEN, we discuss the reveal of the debut FKA Addison Rae album. But gosh darnit, you know that's not all. We discuss Kanye sucking his cousin's PP and writing a song about it, and get into the reveal of the new Drag Race "All" "Stars" cast.... ughhhhhhhhhhhHHHHH Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. You're our sister by birth-- become a patron by choice.

Spotify is trying to punish us for being too beautiful and talented for their platform, so join us on PATREON! For $5/month, you get TWO episodes every single freaking week, including this: ON SECOND THOT, our aftershow where we are allowed to get a lil more personal wit it. We'll keep attempting to upload to the free feed in the meantime, but guarantee xxxclusive access below... Don't wait, join the sisterhood NOW: patreon.com/thottopics

Piper? How'd she get THAT name... WELCOME... 2 OUR ISLAND! Thot TOPICS Island. Pon de beach, the girls take a vacation from cognitive functioning and basic logic skills: just for you. Lotion up sisters because surf is motherfucking UP! This week, we discuss the finale of THE WHITE LOTUS-- the who, the what, the where, and most of all the WHY? Speak no evil girl... I better not hear no evil... THEN, we run out of things to talk about so we have a classic Womens' Business Seminar, covering all sorts of subjects: Pink Pony Club, us getting banned from Spotify, side hustles, psychoANALySIS, and more. Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Be a pleaser on Patreon.

Happy birthday Irish people! Welcome to the St. Patrick's Day celebration brought to you by Thot Topics. Recorded in the moments before disaster, the girls center themselves with a vital discussion on LA MUSICA de Lady Gaga, Chappell Roan, and so much mas. But that's not all-- we uncork The Poppers Question and get to sniffin'. Do poppers deserve to be banned? Are they lowkey safe and totally fine? We do some investigative reporting at the scene of the crime: DOUBLE SCORPIO, Incorporated... Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Help fight for huffers' rights on Patreon. TRY MAGIC MIND GUMMIES! 25% OFF YOUR ORDER AT MAGICMIND.COM/NICKGM using the code NICKGM. TELL US HOW U LIKE EM!

You already know what time it is... Screamin' for me baby!! Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Try Magic Mind's brand new mental performance GUMMIES! 25% off for Thot Topics sisters at magicmind.com/NICKGM using promo code NICKGM.

Chudai give up... or chudai just keep chasin' pavements... Welcome back to the Thot Topics Center for Controlling It, where this week we'll be working hard in the lab to bring America the truth and nothing BUT the truth. Check it! This week, we answer a few of our patrons' most pressing questions, but not before we address some quandaries of our own. How do reservations work? (Reservoir?) Do any beauty products actually work? Should McDonald's go fully automatic? MANY issues are settled for good. TRY MAGIC MIND! GO TO MAGICMIND.COM/THOTPOD20 AND USE PROMO CODE 'THOTPOD20' FOR 20% OFF ANY SINGLE PURCHASE, OR 48% OFF ANY SUBSCRIPTION. Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Chud you subscribe on Patreon? We think you chud. x

Calling all abracadivas and abracadabroids: Thot Topics School for Girls is back in session. Abra ooh na na! First of all, you dirty BITCH: we review the Grammys from head to toe and we have some constructive feedback. From BRAT to the other stuff, we go deep and dirty. THEN, little girl: we review the new Lady Gargar single ABRACADABRA and read the tea leaves for Miz Germanotta. Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Abracado it to it on Patreon. TRY MAGIC MIND WITH OUR CODE 'THOTPOD20' AT MAGICMIND.COM/THOTPOD20. WAKE UP THAT BRAIN AND GET WERKIN'!

Have you paid your dues? The beat shan't be pumped until every member has paid their dues... We're back in the studio all by our lonesome, and I'm sorry to say it, but we are breaking our no-politics promise... not because we feel especially motivated but because we had no other ideas. This week, the girls discuss the second Trump inaugie, banning pride flags on government buildings, the TikTok blackout, and MORE! We can't WAIT for the peanut gallery to chime in on this bad boy... Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Protect your werker's rights on Patreon. TRY MAGIC MIND! 20% OFF ANY SINGLE PURCHASE, OR 56% OFF A SUBSCRIPTION AT MAGICMIND.COM/THOTPOD20 USING THE XXXCLUSIVE PROMO CODE THOTPOD20.

Not my best work in this episode title but I'm tired man We're twenty-twenty-LIVE in the booth in the new year baby!! We hope your resolution wasn't to stop listening to the erotic audio stylings of Thot Topics because we're about to make it THAT much harder! This week, we take calls and emails from our precious homosexual listeners to solve mental problems that have never been addressed by the medical community at large. What should you do if a guy is afraid of touching spit? Which of us would win in a fight? Do we like eating ass? ALL will be settled before a jury of our peers. Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Get on our party line on Patreon. TRY MAGIC MIND FOR 20% OFF WITH PROMO CODE THOTPOD20 AT MAGICMIND.COM/THOTPOD20! GET YOUR MIND RIGHT MAMA!

The girls set up shop at a karaoke bar to properly enjoy their top musical moments of 2024, and to celebrate 200 episodes of sisterhood and divadom. Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Recoup our yogurt soju fund on Patreon.

This isn't really a Christmas episode because we recorded it like, over a week ago-- but Merry Christmas to you and yours all the same... You've heard of a one horse open sleigh... now get ready for TWO whore's open slay. That's right, we ain't hidin' it! This week, after a lovely girly catchup chat, we assess the BILLBOARD TOP 25 POPSTARS OF THE 21ST CENTURY list. We get a little heated about some of the inclusions, which is just perfect for this brisk holiday afternoon... TRY MAGIC MIND! 20% off your first order, or 51% off your first subscription at magicmind.com/thotpod20 using the promo code THOTPOD20. Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Hurry down our chimney on Patreon.

FULL EPISODE BEYOND THA PAYWALL AT PATREON.COM/THOTTOPICS. $5/MONTH FOR A BONUS EPISODE EVERY SINGLE WEEK, AND PREMIUM EPS EVERY OTHER WEEK! Flopular... you're gonna be flopyouular... Welcome back to the Thot Topics glistening wintertime palace of holiday delights. This week, the girls are setting the table for a fancy feast of cunty proportions-- we hope you brought a bib, sis! After a little bit of good old fashioned GIRL TIME, we give our review of WICKED-- the good, the bad, the tragic and the beautiful. Then, we uncork some other pressing thoughts on concealing one's fagcent. Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Enroll at Thot Topics College Prep on Patreon.

Sabrina Carpenter? I barely know her!! HA! Welcome back to the Thot Topics Twisted Labyrinth where nothing is quite as it seems... if you're feeling turkeylicious this season, have we got the episode for you! This week, the girls catch up after a week apart: Cris delivers a field report from the mean streets of BAMF, Canada and Nick grapples with the everyday struggles of motherhood. Then, it's down to business: we discuss Sabrina Carpenter pantomiming blowjays on stage and whether it's good for pop stars to get horny. Plus, we talk about Charli XCX's turn as SNL host and the exhausting future of Brat now that Kamala is out of the picture. Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Can you say magenta on Patreon?

You have left me very discheazed... you have left me... diseaseched... Discheezed to meet you? Is there anything here? Hey girl. Did you know that um... it doesn't matter if you love him? OR capital H-I-M? We're calling all Little Monsters who are pushing 30 to the stage to speak their truth and speak it loud. What's on the menu this week, you ask? Obviously DISEASE, but there's so much more... we picture a future with ADDISON RAE, and struggle to let HALSEY play for longer than 45 seconds. Luckily, there's so much more where that came from, but you'll just have to press play, wontcha!? Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. For more diseasey listening, throw a bitch a bone (FIVE bones to be exact) on Patreon.

Turningjapanesewethinkwe'returningjapanesewereallythinkso This week in the Thot Topics Diversity, Equity and Inclusion Annex, the girls unpack several major violations of the international code of cunt. First, the BRAT REMIX ALBUM, the ancient demon KESHA, SAIKO and the call of BEING JAPANESE. But naturally, there's more hot and juicy goodness where that came from. We discuss becoming a Trader Joe's girl, the decline in movie theater etiquette, Terrifier 3, and whatever else touches our beautiful twisted minds. Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Bring honor upon your dojo on Patreon.

Young man! Your presence is requested in the Headmaster's office. And trust me-- you DON'T want to find out how he got THAT name... Love is in the air in the Thot Topics Studio tonight as the girls issue a transmission from the eve of Nick's wedding! We don't want to scare anyone, but it's time to bring out the big, big, big, big, big, balloons. Naturally there IS business to attend to. We discuss SOPHIE's posthumous "album," Katy Perry's 143 as if there's anything to even say, and Lady Gaga's theater kid humiliation ritual Harlequin. More is on the docket, including Lana Del Rey's surprise wedding, The Substance, Megalopolis, and sooooo much more. Lock and load, ladies! Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Call us Megatron on Patreon.

Happy LUBEor Day You Patriotic SLUTS

Calling all birdwatchers! Are you watchin' these birds?!?!? This week, we join forces in the Plus Size Creator's Autonomous Zone against the powers that be: hater ass faggots in the Patreon exit surveys. Once that demon is purged from our spirit, it's down to business as usual. We take Raggedy Chappell to task over her complaints on TikTok about fans asking her for pictures. Is she cooked, or does she have a chance? Why is TikTok incompatible with pop stardom? Is privacy cringe? Or are gay guys the cringe ones? ALL will be revealed in the fullness of time... But that's not all: we take a look at the recent study of the least attractive male hobbies, according to women. From vidya to trolling online, we psychoanalyze all parties to uncover the troof-- and nothing but the troof. Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. For more low-effort content riddled with technical issues, throw the girls a freakin' bone on Patreon. GET INTO YR FLOW STATE WITH MAGIC MIND! ✨

We're back in the lounge to resolve more critical issues in the Thot Topics Jewniverse! We receive emergency transmissions from our beloved homosexual and female (and STRAIGHT MALE) listeners on matters of life, love, and the pursuit of pussyliciousness. What's on the menu, you ask? We discuss how to stave off BPD attachment tendencies, how to respectfully tell someone you no longer want to have sex with them, and whether it's worth it to live with your parents to get your coins up. Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Get on our freakin' party line on Patreon.

**PATRONS ONLY** Subscribe now at patreon.com/thottopics. Long time no talk, loca! What's it been giving girlfriend?! This week, we've opened the gilded gates of the Thot Topics Golfing Greens and Garden for the unwashed masses to speak directly to the girls. That's right bitch: for the first time since December, it's time for EVERYONE to get in on the girl's chat with a special hotline episode! And ohhhh boy, did our precious gay and gay-adjacent listeners deliver! We discuss everything under the sun, from being obsessed with foreskin to your in-laws making you an offer you can't refuse-- it's a wild ride from start to finish! But that's not all-- we also have a private girls conference on body-ody-ody image and being a lawyer for the hawk. Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Call us beep us if you wanna reach us on Patreon.

Bruh. BRUHHHHH. I don't know what the fuck is in the water this week but like 20 minutes of this episode somehow deleted itself. Should I kill myself? MAYBE!!! Anyway, MOST of an episode is here and I'm praying things will be back to normal this week lmfao. Here's what we got into: KAMALA 2024, the pressures of talking to teens when you feel like a teen inside, if it's a big deal that Gen Z and Gen Alpha can't read, and MORE! I'd keep writing but we recorded this so long ago I honestly don't remember... LOVE YOU Get 46% off a subscription to Magic Mind Mental Performance SHOTZ at magicmind.com/thotpod20. Or, get 20% off any purchase on their site with the code THOTPOD20. God bless America, and god bless MAGIC MIND! Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Throw a bitch a fucking bone on Patreon. We need the spiritual uplift.

You've stumbled into the Katy Perry Apologists Anonymous meeting. Please find a seat and be prepared to share your story. Refreshments have been provided and are available on the far wall. May we see your peacock? This week is a really special one. Just honestly what the fuck guys. First, we unpack our fourth of july weekend for all its worth. These are NOT our cookies officer! Then, we review the brand new Katy Perry single "Woman's World," and wonder if Katy Perry knew that women are allowed to have jobs. We issue a formal prognosis for the 143 era and it's not looking great. Last but certainly not least, we discuss Matt Bomer's beautiful family and whether it's heteronormative to have children-- whatever the HELL that means. We break new ground on a WELL-worn topic and there's much to enjoy. Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. They really CAN all be California Gurls on Patreon.

Na na na na.... na na naaa na... hey, hey, hey... gay priiiiiiiide Strap in (or on!) for the unique and incomparable stylings of THOT TOPICS! This week, we're in rare form to discuss all manner of gay guy bullshit happening on the timeline-- we're really playing the hits on this one. Thank you to all of the brain damaged middle aged homos who contributed their valuable thoughts! The table is piled high with crucial documents of pride month behavior. First, we discuss the 17 year old insisting that he does not want attention online and being called a pedophile for saying so. Then, we talk about whether or not it's worth it to spend $300 a month on an Equinox membership and what gay guys REALLY mean when they say "networking." Of course, we had to discuss the guy whose boyfriend didn't let him top for 2 and a half years because he wasn't "daddy enough." You guys were really acting up LOL!! Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. You know you were hella wrong for what you did on Patreon. ** WE ARE BACK IN BEESWAX WITH MAGIC MIND! For 20% off your first order of their mental performance shots at magicmind.com/thotpod20 or use the code THOTPOD20 at checkout. (Or for 48% off your first subscription order.) Godspeed!

Sometimes, the people who laugh the most, cry inside the hardest... they also have the biggest jiggliest boobs.

Has anyone even TOLD you about our new weekly bonus show for paying sisters? ON SECOND THOT is our sexy little aftershow where put our hair in a pony, get cozy, and let the real freak shit fly. Each week, we select our definitive SLAYS OF THE DAY, FREAKS OF THE WEEK, and last but not least, discuss how God tested us over the last seven days. You too can enjoy these vital conversations on Patreon at patreon.com/thottopics for only 4 dollars a month-- PLUS the standard premium-only episode every other week. Here's just a little taste... Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo.

Welcome to the Metropolitan Museum of Ass, Hair, and Titties. We'll kindly accept your donations up front, to support the continued growth of this vital field. We're BACK! And back in the New York GROOVE no less as we take on the many looks of the 2024 MET GALA, the theme of which was something about flowers or something? Hard to remember now girl. If you'd like to do a READ-ALONG with us, please enjoy your listening experience paired with photos from the good homosexuals at Vogue. Naturally, that's NOT all to the tasty recipe that gives this episode it's robust flavor. We also talk about SWEAT and DEODORANT, the music of RAVEN-SYMONE, CAR CRASHES, LOSS PREVENTION, and THE JOYS OF TANNING. Please enjoy-- and god BLESS! Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. If you have not already joined us on Patreon for our brand-new weekly bonus show, ON SECOND THOT, come and get you a piece before it's TOO LATE!

Yeah I don't know what the fuck was in the giggle water this week but this is a particularly cracked out episode lmfao WELCUM 2 THE JUNGLE! The girls return to discuss matters of utmost importance with international implications. As we pregame for the Nicki Minaj concert and spread our passports wet 'n' wide for entry to Gag City, we pay ten dollars to get in the ball and take a closer look at what the world is up to... First, we discuss the rates of LGBTness among Gen Z high schoolers, and the New York Times (I think? LOL) report that it's mostly girls saying that they are bisexual. Then, we discuss the Normal Middle Class Guy TikTok and unpack what makes straight men so drawn to the grindset. Last but CERTAINLY not least, we unpack the imminent opening of JOHNSON'S the male strip bar set to replace Berlin in Boystown, and the fuming gogo boys involved. Pretty messy! Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. We munch trade for dollars on Patreon. Don't forget to sign up for access to our new weekly bonus show for patronz!!

**PATRONS ONLY** Welcome to the Thot Topics Brewhouse, where children and dogs alike will be killed immediately upon entry. Can we offer you a Michelob Ultra draft? The girls return to the booth for a vital tribunal on all the issues facing a young woman in the world today: SSRIs, feline dental health, immune system support, desktop gaming, marijuana legislation, HIV that turns into AIDS, and so much more. But naturally that's not all: we also discuss the photo that sent all kinds of totally normal people into a frenzy this week, in which dogs are allowed and human children are banned. What's our stance on all of that? We attempt to form a cogent thought. We also discuss Lanachella, and whether or not its okay to be happy that "skinny Lana is back." As Ozempic users and believers, our two cents are worth a million cents. And paying sisters: STAY TUNED in a few days for the debut of ON SECOND THOT, our xxxclusive bonus show that will now be a weekly staple in your current membership

The jury finds you in contempt of CUNT! Now it's time to SERVE! Welcome back to central booking at Thot Topics Regional Penitentiary. All fines will be processed to the window on your left, and visitation will be found to your right. Oh, you're here for a conjugal visit? Right this way, ma'am... This week, the girls convene on several matters of utmost importance-- sucking in your stomach, food safety, atomic habits, Joker 2, and so much more. We also do a quarter-year checkin on our most-streamed music: what's hot on the charts in our apartments and on TouchTunes? Much appreciation abounds for the arts. Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Bail us out on Patreon.

You better worm girl! We're BACK for a lovely special springtime episode. (But really, aren't they ALL special?) This is a girls chat of VITAL importance: we really put our thinking boobs on for this one! We discuss everything on God's Green, from LESBIANS to DUNE 2 to what may be the FINAL DAYS OF THE TIKTOK TOP 50. Do you love the way we work it? HEY LADIESSS!!! Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Back it up and dump it on Patreon.

**PATRONS ONLY** Four goddamn American dollars get you access to full-length bonus episodes AND... new surprises coming soon :) Hold onto your whorses because it's time for another riveting episode of THOT TOPICS! We're back after losing or breaking literally every single piece of recording equipment we owned and are ready to begin a new chapter of excellence in inbreastigative reporting. This week, the girls discuss the Nickelodeon sex pest documentary QUIET ON SET and pick out a bra to throw on stage at The Wiggles On Ice. Then, they unpack Beyonce's new rootin'-tootin' country girl persona and forthcumming album COWBOY CARTER. Did black people invent country? Honest question we really don't know. And last but not least, we talk about whether drag kings should be cast on Drag Race-- per the sage words of Naysha Lopez, the greatest showman. Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Fight for what's right on Patreon.

The block is hot-- and we're about to turn it into the Summer of 69! (If you catch our drift...)   Welcome back to the Thot Topics Studios where we are prepared to begin a new chapter of our happy little lives. We begin with a lengthy girly little chitchat about the simple joys of our young sprightly bouncy lives. We also reluctantly check in on the current season of Drag Race and the state of whale sex.   Later on, we enter a ruthless battle of wits by answering famous questions from ARE YOU SMARTER THAN A FIFTH GRADER. From biology to math, we break new barriers in teen intellect and capture it live on air.   Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Don't be a bummer on Patreon.

**PATRONS ONLY** Subscribe to the Patreon at patreon.com/thottopics. Wooohoo... YEEEEEEEEEEhoo!!!!! It's a leap year and you know what that means: there's one more day 'til the rent is due, pookie! Now, PUMP THE BEAT! First, we do a little bit of girly chitchat-- the weather was beautiful and the vibes were ERRATIC to say the least, so there was much to be discussed. What masculine traits are displayed in gay guys? Is there such thing as an Indian elephant? All will be revealed in the fullness of time. Then, the main event: we comb through a master list of classic pop album covers and rank them on a scale from "galactic slay" (decided by the gay guy who made the TierMaker list) and GUTTER BOOTS! We share rare insights on Kesha, Carly Rae Jepsen, Cardelia B, and many more-- it's a classic Thot Topics romp.  Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Feel yummy head to toe on Patreon. 

Hold on to your cloaca, cuz it's gonna be a bumpy ride!!   We convene to discuss the state of The Bimbo: is her time finally over? Have the powers of the bimbo fallen into the wrong hands, exploited for her comically large breasts for TikTok cred? WHO can be trusted with the pure heart of the Bimbo... and how many must die...   Naturally that's NOT all: we "review" Kim Petras's new uhh project SLUT POP MIAMI; and get to the bottom of the Ayesha Erotica situation. We really speak our minds about COUNTRY MUSIC and "WHO IS REALLY COUNTRY." And? We discuss the reproductive behaviors of birds...   Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Isnta @th0tstarsxo. Smoke our cubana on Patreon.

In the criminal justice system, sexually based offenses are considered especially slaynous. In Boystown Chicago, the medicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies are members of an elite squad known as Thot Topics. These are their stories.   We're back in business-- silly us, we were standing on it the whole time! We use our journalistic skills to unpack the Nicki Minaj vs Megan Thee Stallion situation. Using the latest technological advancements in forensic science, we get to the bottom of the truth honey. Not only that, but we're here to discuss the Ice Spice Conundrum, tax season, gay jealousy, and many more crowd pleasers. Love you!  

**FULL EPISODE FOR PATRONS ONLY** PATREON.COM/THOTTOPICS   Polizia! Help! I've been Margot ROBBED!   We'd like to thank God, the Academy, and most importantly Dr. Pepper for their unwavering support in the making of this podcast. We simply couldn't have done it without you.   We know we're supposed to wrap it up, but we also need to express our gratitude to this week's topics: BLUE LIVES, AAVE, BARBIE, FEMINISM, THE POD, THE BUGS, DOORDASH, THE 96TH ACADEMY AWARDS AND ITS DECORATED NOMINEES, THE TIKTOK TOP 50, and more that we're forgetting to mention but believe us when we say our journey would not be the same without you. You know who you are.   Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Give us a standing ovaysh on Patreon.

**PATRONS ONLY**   BRRR! It's cold in here! Must! be! Thot Topics in the ATmosphere! I SAID BRRRRR!!!   Welcome one and all to the Thot Topics Plus-Sized Situation Room where several key talking points simply MUST be discussed for the good of our great nation. First, we circle back on corporate speak in the workplace: can we jump on a call and get crunktina?   THEN, it's a rapidfire round. HAIR: Who's got it? Who wants it? Who's losing it? Who's growing it? All is revealed. (Especially our hairlines.) PRONOUNS: What's ze freakin' zeal?? OZEMPIC: Did it give, or did it not? Let it be muthafuckin' hot.   We also chat about Ariana Grande's new single-- and brand new BMI!   Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC. Warm our winter bosoms on Patreon.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEEENNN WELCOME TO GYPSY ROSE NIGHT AT TAO SPONSORED BY CASAMIGOS TEQUILAAAAAAAAA!!!! EVERYBODY THROW SOME MONEY RIGHT NOW EVERYBODY THROW SOME MONEY RIGHT NOW   It's time to be a WHORE in twenty twenty FOUR! In our first episode of the new year, we get straight to business. That's right: we're talking about CONDOMS.   Is there such a thing as "safe sex"? How much is too much when it comes to CUM, HUH? Also: we celebrate the return of Gypsy Rose Blanchard to polite society and discuss the psychological impact of True Crime on the female brain. We also make some predictions for the new year, and make our stance on the word 'handsome' as clear as crystal. Not THAT kind of crystal, Miss Tina...   Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Instagram @th0tstarsxo. We're still gonna need a TOP on Patreon.

Non-paying girls... we're taking a Christmas sabbatical to truly give our hearts to the Reason For The Season, but in the meantime, PLEASE enjoy this episode from beyond the paywall... talk to you soon girly! Hey girl, can we circle back? To CRACK!? Calling all micromanagers, office drones, and watercooler sisters-- we are taking it out of the workplace and into your face this week as we recap Nick's week from hell. The girls wallow in some warm and wet misery, but fear not-- we wore tankinis! But it's not all doomington and gloomington sweetheart. It's Spotify Wrapped Day, so we do each of our Top 10 countdowns to share the biggest hits in our apartments this year. Kiss you miss you! Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tcels. Put the in TOP in unemployment on Patreon.

**PATRONS ONLY** FULL AXXXESS AT PATREON.COM/THOTTOPICS These bitches fuck E V E R Y B O D Y We're truly tickled to welcome back the talents of the one and only Zach Langley Chi Chi to the Thot Topics Plus Size Creators Regional Headquarters! We've called an emergency conference to discuss what is perhaps the year's most critical event: the release of Nicki Minaj's PINK FRIDAY 2. This is the most in-depth coverage on the subject you're going to find anywhere, lovingly crafted by the industry's leading sexperts. Stick with your sisters, cuz in the end, it's JUST the memories... Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC on Twitter. Spend another bag on our BODY on Patreon.  Follow Zach on Twitter @asukahomo and subscribe to I'M SO POPULAR on Patreon. 

It's 10 P.M... do you know where your sistas are?  Right here silly! Welcome back to the hotline wing of the Thot Topics Megaplex, where we're convening to settle the nation's most pressing questions. We take voicemails from our beloved listeners-- women and gay guys and all in between-- and do our best to set them on the path to suckcess. And we've got some VERY interesting dilemmas this time around: What's the easiest sport to learn about so you can be relatable to straight men? How do you control your anger when everyone is a goddamn faggot? Should situationships be avoided across the board? What's the best way to cope with the morning after being the drunkest person at the function? We wouldn't steer you wrong... would we?? TRY MAGIC MIND PRODUCTIVITY SHOTS WITH THE EXXXCLUSIVE THOT TOPICS CODE "TT20" AT MAGICMIND.COM/NICKANDCRIS FOR 20% OFF ANY PURCHASE OR 56% OFF ANY SUBSCRIPTION.  Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Join our party line on Patreon. 

**PATRONS ONLY** THROW AN UNEMPLOYED HO A BONE AT PATREON.COM/THOTTOPICS Hey girl, can we circle back? To CRACK!? Calling all micromanagers, office drones, and watercooler sisters-- we are taking it out of the workplace and into your face this week as we recap Nick's week from hell. The girls wallow in some warm and wet misery, but fear not-- we wore tankinis! But it's not all doomington and gloomington sweetheart. It's Spotify Wrapped Day, so we do each of our Top 10 countdowns to share the biggest hits in our apartments this year. Kiss you miss you! Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tcels. Put the in TOP in unemployment on Patreon. LAST CALL FOR THOTLINE VOICEMAILS AND TEXTS! (312) 772-2592.

More like Tate McGay... more like... Bate... McSlay... Uhhh We're BACK! And we came on this bitch mad as hell... things are changing in the Thot Topics Universe and it's NOT LOOKING GOOD, BITCH! After a little bit of career ranting and general sisterly catch-up, we segue into the hawtest topics of the week. First, we diagnose the Tate McRae situation: is she the real megadiva servalicious giver? Or is it nothing more than a hair show?! Plus, how do you really *tell* if a pop star is a STAR or just some girl in a little outfit? Tinashe is discussed, buyer beware. Secondly, we talk about Billie Eilish's claim that women don't care about guys' physical appearance and "accept them for who they are inside." As gay guys regularly invited into girls talks, we report from INSIDE THE HOUSE. Last, we talk about TikTok zoomers discovering Osama Bin Laden's open letter to America and talk about whether we even *like* America-- and why... I know we said we wouldn't get political again but I felt called... LADIES! CALL THE THOTLINE BEFORE DEC. 1ST WITH YOUR MOST PRESSING PERSONAL ISSUES, HOT TAKES, AND MORE! LEAVE US A VOICEMAIL OR TEXT US IF YOU MUST-- BUT WE'D LOVE TO HEAR YOUR VOICE! (312) 772-2592.  SUBSCRIBE TO THE $10 PATREON TIER OR ABOVE BEFORE DEC. 1 TO RECEIVE GLITTER STICKERS IN THE MAIL! MAKE SURE YOUR MAILING ADDRESS IS ON YOUR ACCOUNT AND TOGGLED TO SHARE WITH US. SHOT GLASSES & PINT GLASSES ARE NOW AVAILABLE IN THE MERCH STORE!  Buy yourself some Magic Mind with the exclusive sisterly discount! Go to magicmind.com/nickandcris and use the code TT20 for 20% off any single purchase or 56% off any subscription!

**PATRONS ONLY** JOIN THE CLURB AT PATREON.COM/THOTTOPICS. Pass the cranberry sauce and open wide cuz this ain't your mother's Thanksgiving hoe! We hope you left room for dessert! Oooooooh! We're joined in the house of merry-making by returning guest and sista of the pod Morgan to discuss all things turkeylicious and festive. We recognize it's a little early but we were really in the Giving mood, okayyy??  We discuss our holiday wishlists, Dula Peep's new single, "Taylor's Version," the psychology of straight men wanting a finger in the ass, and sooo much more. Apologies for the weird audio quality on this one y'all, it'll be fixed next week! Terminally yours, Thot Topics FOLLOW THE GIRLS ON TWITTER @VLRTUALBOY AND @YOURE2BASIC, and the official POD INSTA @TH0TSTARSXO. Get us a Christmas gift on Patreon. (Why the elephant gotta be WHITE?!)

BEND THAT ASS OVER! LET THAT COOCHIE BREATHE! SHAKE THAT ASS BITCH! HANDS ON YA KNEES! We're back in the booth and better than ever-- as we enjoy some lovely iced cafecitos and prepare for a night out on the town, we turn to the good people at Billboard to take another look at the TikTok Top 50. A LOT has changed since our last check-in on the chart. Naturally, we do what we do best and take a delicate rectal thermometer to the culture and spoiler alert: IT'S HOT! Naturally, that's not all: we reflect on Nicki MInaj's album rollout, how it feels to listen to old episodes of the pod several years onward, Harry Potter (?) and so much more...  Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo.  USE PROMO CODE "TT20" AT MAGICMIND.COM/NICKANDCRIS FOR 20% OFF ANY SINGLE PURCHASE, OR OVER 50% OFF OF A SUBSCRIPTION!

**FULL EPISODE AVAIL FOR PATRONS. SORRY, WE MISSED A PAID WEEK AND HAVE TO GIVE THE PAYING GIRLS SUMTHIN. JOIN IN!** One Naysha Lopez, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all... We're back after an accidental week off so we're giving the reins over to the girls at home to decide what absolutely NEEDS to be settled once and for all. We talk about The Pick-Me's Dilemma, Britney's memoir THE WOMAN IN ME, whether you would feel some type of way if your top made less money than you, Skims for Men, May December, Saltburn, and SOOOOO much more! Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod insta @th0tcels. Join the battle to release us from our cuntserveatorship on Patreon. 

**PATRONS ONLY** Join the frontline in the 100 Year Idgaf War on Patreon. Bitches must be Jewish cuz they pockets israelite... We must be thinking outside the bun because we're living HaMás! We heard there's a situation in the middle east. Not to worry-- we're on our way. Period. We attempt to explain what's going on in Gaza to the breast of our abilities. Can't promise it'll be cogent whatsoever but we have a lot of dumb gay guys to address!  Naturally, that's not all: we take to the Thot Topics Discord and answer some listener questions. Frank Biden's nudes! Troye Sivan in dragz! Halloween costumes! Chicago gay bars! Many truths are revealed... Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Stand UP for Thot Topics Rights on Patreon.  

"Sticks and stones may break my bones but chains and whips excite me." -Deuteronomy 23:1   We tried being good... but sometimes a girl needs to let her hair down and let LOOSE! As a cold lace front sets in on the beautiful city of Chicago, the girls settle in for a fireside chat of cosmic proportions, discussing everything from gym memberships to apartment hunting to the Roman Empire to fear to death to Rihanna! It's a big juicy one so get those teef ready!   We answer some leftover listener questions from our 100th episode extravaganza, but otherwise just kinda have a girly little chat. Catch you on the flipside! Na na na COME ON!   Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod shitposting Instagram @th0tstarsxo. New merch is live in the store too! We're prepping some fun new experiments on the Patreon so get you a piece NOW!

**PATRONS ONLY** Get up in the exclusivest Thot Topicsest Clurb on the planet on Patreon. For $4/month, you get access to every exxxclusive episode! PATREON.COM/THOTTOPICS This week, the girls have smeared coconut baby oil on their breasts to send a powerful message about consent. The message? It's simple: {motorboating noises} We're back to discuss all the happenings of our precious young lives. From feeling immune to emotional music, to weight loss, to our inevitable 26th birthdays, we're feeling cuntemplative, heavy metal, and reflective. It's a soul-baring session for girls of all walks of life. That's not all-- it's a big week for music and we talk about Doja's SCARLET, Slayyyter's STARFUCKER, and Kim's PROBLEMATIQUE. Plus, we talk about the guy covered in shit at Folsom. It's a roundup you WON'T want to miss! Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. Fuck our mouth with an egg roll on Patreon.  PLUS!! WE'RE BACK ON INSTAGRAM FINALLY: @th0tstarsxo