Podcasts about laboring

Dr. Sara Ailshire, an anthropologist and Evidence Based Birth® Research Team member, and her husband, Dr. Siavash Samei, an environmental archaeologist, share the story of welcoming their rainbow baby after loss. In this episode, Sara and Siavash open up about navigating miscarriage care in the wake of changing abortion laws in Ohio, the anxiety and hope of pregnancy after loss, and Sara's experience with developing preeclampsia near the end of her pregnancy. They describe how they worked with a supportive midwifery team, hired a doula for advocacy and comfort, and ultimately experienced an induction that honored their preferences for a low-intervention birth. Their story also sheds light on the realities of discrimination in healthcare, the importance of community support, and the resilience found in becoming parents after loss. (01:58) Facing Miscarriage in Ohio and Barriers to Care (07:35) Pregnancy After Loss: Anxiety, Detachment, and Hope (13:04) Finding Midwifery Care in Kentucky and Planning a Low-Intervention Birth (20:29) Preparing for Birth: Classes, Doulas, and Advocacy Concerns (22:37) Early Signs of Preeclampsia and Navigating Blood Pressure Monitoring (30:33) Deciding on Induction at 38 Weeks (36:39) Laboring with Support and Moving Through Transition (42:43) Birth of Ferdous and Unexpected Placenta Complications (49:34) Advocacy, Microaggressions, and the Role of the Doula (54:23) Advice for Expecting Parents: Finding Calm, Support, and Autonomy   Resources Learn more about preeclampsia: www.preeclampsia.org Miscarriage Care Instructions from Kaiser Permanente: healthy.kaiserpermanente.org Dobbs-Era Abortion Restrictions and Miscarriage Care: kff.org Navigating Miscarriage Management Post-Dobbs: whijournal.com Emotional Coping After Miscarriage: americanpregnancy.org An Account of a Miscarriage at Home: miscarriageassociation.org.uk Supply List for a Miscarriage at Home: miscarriagematters.org.nz Learn about the Jada System: organonpro.com The Birthing Spa in Stanford, Kentucky: thebirthingspa.com   For more information about Evidence Based Birth® and a crash course on evidence based care, visit www.ebbirth.com. Follow us on Instagram and YouTube! Ready to learn more? Grab an EBB Podcast Listening Guide or read Dr. Dekker's book, "Babies Are Not Pizzas: They're Born, Not Delivered!" If you want to get involved at EBB, join our Professional membership (scholarship options available) and get on the wait list for our EBB Instructor program. Find an EBB Instructor here, and click here to learn more about the EBB Childbirth Class.

A new MP3 sermon from Mount Zion Bible Church is now available on SermonAudio with the following details: Title: Laboring to Enter God's Rest Subtitle: Exposition of Hebrews Speaker: Pastor Jeff Pollard Broadcaster: Mount Zion Bible Church Event: Sunday Service Date: 9/28/2025 Bible: Hebrews 4:11-13 Length: 64 min.

Audio only:

In a world that's unraveling from climate disruption and gaping inequality, another climate crisis confronts us: the climate of hate and othering. Award-winning scholar and educator Valarie Kaur says to overcome racism and nationalism, we must not succumb to rage and grief. As someone who has spent much of her life challenging horrific injustices and intolerance, Kaur learned the lesson that historical nonviolent change-makers understood: social movements must be grounded in an ethic of love. She founded the ⁠Revolutionary Love Project⁠, and has emerged as one of the most important voices of the American Sikh community, and a highly influential faith leader on the national stage. Valarie Kaur, born into a family of Sikh farmers who settled in California in 1913, is a seasoned civil rights activist, award-winning filmmaker, lawyer, faith leader, and founder of the Revolutionary Love Project, which seeks to champion love as a public ethic and wellspring for social action. The theme music is co-written by the Baka Forest People of Cameroon and Baka Beyond, from the album East to West. Find out more at ⁠globalmusicexchange.org⁠. Additional music was made available by: Edamame, ⁠EdamameBeats.com⁠ Raydia, ⁠APMmusic.com⁠ Jami Sieber, ⁠JamiSeiber.com⁠ This is an episode of the Bioneers: Revolution from the Heart of Nature series. Visit the ⁠radio and podcast homepage⁠ to learn more.

Sunday morning service - 8/31/25Church websitehttps://www.biblebaptistcc.com/Support our Ministryhttps://app.pineapplepayments.com/HostedPaymentForm/HostedPaymentPage2.aspx?hash=iWUmR5OrxHT6wGMKmTXpUEui/6CNujhngmTaVzYvWY4%3DListen and Subscribe to our Podcasthttps://anchor.fm/bbcpreachingpodcast

Adam and Jordana 10a hour!

It was a packed holiday weekend for the Back of the Pack crew! In this episode, Kyle recaps three very different Labor Day weekend races. First up: the debut of the Ottawa Half Marathon, a brand-new event from KC Running Company that steps in where the Lagerhead Half left off. Then it's on to the Always & Furever 5K at Lexington Lake Park, a family-friendly event supporting a local dog rescue. Finally, we close out the long weekend at the Leawood Labor Day 5K, put on by the Leawood Rotary Club. Three races in three days, it's safe to say the back of the pack didn't take this holiday off!

-Laboring for you on a Victory Monday-Recapping NDSU's win over The Citadel-Hall of Famer Phil Hansen joins-Talking some ball with Brian Shawn-Weekend Gameballs-Listener texts and calls

Key Bible Verse: "Whatever you do, do your work heartily as for the Lord and not for people, knowing that it is from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance. It is the Lord Christ whom you serve." Colossians 3:23-24

"Working for God" is a theme that gets tossed around in the religious world. The memo suggests that too much grace will throw things out of balance and will deceive people. You may have even heard some say grace is dangerous. Experiencing God's grace, peace and rest doesn't mean people should be encouraged to do nothing while their earthly life passes them by. The Apostle Paul said this: "But by the grace of God I am what I am, and His grace toward me was not in vain; but I labored more abundantly than they all, yet not I, but the grace of God which was with me (1 Corinthians 15:10). Paul wasn't boasting in himself that he worked harder than the other apostles. He plainly states he isn't the one doing the work ... but God working through him and with him. In Christ, we cease from our works as God did from His. There is no need to "repent" from bad behavior in order to be considered worthy. It is by the blood of Jesus we've been forgiven, saved and declared right with God. Living by the grace of God can help people to follow their heart freely, knowing it is God who is their life source. --Available on Amazon - "Clash of The Covenants: Escaping Religious Bondage Through the Grace Guarantee" https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0713ZSKY7

Jeff is joined by Dai Sup Han and Tim Sigmond discussing prayer, and their vision for what prayer should look like in Colorado Springs. Later they're joined by Rylie Morrissey from decisionpoint.org and Kim Mahoney with the 10 Days of Prayer Event. Find more information at cosnda.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Labor Day is a holiday in America. And it is this weekend. Here is this week's podcast. In under three minutes, I will share my thoughts on Labor Day and offer a different perspective on it as a business acquisition practitioner and entrepreneur. And a challenge! If you're wondering about the steps in the business acquisition journey, grab the Acquisition Advantage Boot Camp 2025 edition at brucewhipple.com. https://go.brucewhipple.com/aabc  To Your Success, Bruce Whipple brucewhipple.com

**Thank you for supporting this ministry, I lovingly refer to as "The Little Green Pasture." Click here: PayPal: http://paypal.me/JoanStahl **Please prayerfully consider becoming a ministry partner: Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/joaniestahl **Contact Email: jsfieldnotes@gmail.com **Subscribe to me on Rumble: https://rumble.com/c/c-534183 I really never gave it much thought about when Mary Magdelene supposed that Jesus was the gardener. Yes, her eyes were kept from the revealing of who it was she was talking with face to face. Yet I see something more. So many illustrations and visual depictions of what the resurrected Christ looked like all seem to be the same. I too have had the same thoughts of Him in brilliant shining garments 'other worldly,' glimmering in afterlife heavenly apparel. Like in the Mount of Transfiguration when, "He prayed, the fashion of his countenance was altered, and his raiment was white and glistering." Luke 9:29.But that could not be the case here. Mary's eyes were withheld from seeing Him on purpose. "She knew not that it was Jesus." But she recognized Him as a gardener by what He was wearing. Gardeners during those days wore simple, practical clothing as other working-class people adapted for manual labor, which distinguished them from wealthy individuals. They wore a knee length tunic of two pieces sown together made of linen or wool. They wore a belt of cord or cloth, or leather to hold tools. They wore a heavy outer garment to protect them from the hot sun and weather, and simple leather sandals. The colors of the tunic were undyed natural earth colors like off whites, browns and grays. I believe that Jesus wanted it this way on purpose. Because though His work was done, our work is not. "In other words, "I am still working with you."These humble gardener's garments must be ours all the days of our lives as His laborers in the earth. So, we too will always be seen as the gardeners of the Lord...sowing seeds of eternal life and light.“I have one desire now - to live a life of reckless abandon for the Lord, putting all my energy and strength into it.”― Elisabeth Elliot, Through Gates of Splendor

Guest speaker at Grace Family Baptist Church, August 24, 2025.

The Intermountain Medical Center in Murray lost power on Thursday and it's reported 5 women in labor as well as 6 babies in the NICU were transferred to other community hospitals. Jess Gomez, Spokesperson for Intermountain Health joins the show to discuss more into what happened.

Psalm 127 reminds us that success, security, and legacy are not achieved by striving alone, but by trusting in God’s provision. It’s a call to build lives—homes, cities, and families—on a foundation of faith, not fear.

Psalm 127 reminds us that success, security, and legacy are not achieved by striving alone, but by trusting in God’s provision. It’s a call to build lives—homes, cities, and families—on a foundation of faith, not fear.

Prayer Judgment and Revival (2) (audio) David Eells – 8/6/25 Going over What the Lord Showed Me About the Asteroid that's Coming Brandon @ Last Days – 7/26/25 (David's notes in red) https://youtu.be/xUTlHLlBy_g?si=1W7FB9aV5GfR-osX Portion of transcript: Speaking of the revival, the Lord said, “Heaven and Earth are about to collide with the greatest harvest of souls and the greatest demonstration and manifestations of My glory that this world has ever seen before. In a 24-hour period, He said, “Brandon, everything you know, [will change] we're at the point of no return. We're at that point. It's time to push.” It's time to push. (Laboring to bring forth the Man-child body which will bring the revival as it was with Jesus the Man-child. History repeats on a larger scale.) He said, “You're looking at a thin thread.” Remember that hair-thin thread I saw coming up? I said, “Adam's lease is coming up.” Do you understand? We're about to step over the water's edge. We're about to step over the waterfall. (Revival) And the Lord said, “You're about to see something I long for you to see.” Why? Because it was there, the lease; it was Adam's timeframe of a 6,000-year window. Now, we're about to step into the 7,000–year window with the 7-year tribulation. (According to Numeric Bible Chronology we are already in the thousand year sabbath but men are breaking it by their works so tribulation comes.) We're about to see some radical things. Radical and amazing things with the Holy Ghost and fire like we've never seen it before. We've only seen glimpses of it. The Lord said, “You've only seen glimpses of it with Azusa Street, …, with the Welch revival. These only lasted for just a short window. But, Brandon, what I'm about to do, all those others will pale in comparison to what is about to happen in these last days.” (Amen!) But He said, “I have to give you a warning about the plague. I have to tell you to stand and pray and tell the people that I'm coming.” And He talked about Psalm 91. (He will come to us as the Latter Rain to once again heal the plagues of men as Jesus did in the former rain.) Then I saw an asteroid, and He was talking about this telescope called Lucifer. And then He called it Satan.  (I have read that the Vatican's telescope was originally called Lucifer but was changed to Luci in 2012 to avoid controversy.) I thought how this was a very demonic name, and I wondered if I was hearing this right? And is this the Lord or Satan? I saw this telescope in the Arizona West and it is massive. (That is where Luci is.) The lens on it was ginormous. As I was looking at this, I saw men wearing white lab coats, and they were talking and writing things down. They said, “The odds are in our favor.” And “It's unlikely this will happen.” China was involved, and they were communicating back and forth about what they were seeing coming. China said, “This is going to hit. This is serious.” But the people in America were like, “Uh, I don't know, I don't think so.” But China was taking it seriously. They were freaking out. I could see these educated Chinese men calculating and talking back and forth. They knew something serious was about to happen and that we were not going to divert it. As I was looking over into outer space, I saw a massive rock heading toward Earth. They said, “We were not telling them because it would cause panic. But the odds are in our favor that it will not happen that it will miss.” But it will not. I saw other space debris by this major rock. It was a massive piece of rock, like the size of a planet. (No one would survive the largest rock; there would be no tribulation.) And there was a smaller one beside it, and there were ones they would consider to be…. And I heard the word ‘planet killers' were behind it, like bunches of them. As this thing was moving and all the others with it, it looked like a debris field behind it. (Earth can generally survive impacts from asteroids smaller than about 0.6 miles (1 kilometer) in diameter, as these are less likely to cause catastrophic damage. However, an asteroid around 7 to 8 miles (11 to 12 kilometers) wide could potentially wipe out most life on Earth. https://science.howstuffworks.com/nature/natural-disasters/asteroid-hits-earth.htm ) (I have no doubt a rock in the tail will hit. Brandon has been very accurate.) The Lord said, “Watch the sun, watch the tides. For things are going to change, and change quickly. Your water and your waves, the way the tides come in and go out because of the moon. Things are going to start to shift like you've never seen before. The tides are going to act very strangely; they will be higher than average. They will come in further than what they're supposed to. When they pull back out, they will move out further than they are supposed to.” I heard this and I could see it. Something was affecting the tides. This rock, something serious. The Lord said, “Watch the pressure on the Earth for a major volcano is about to erupt, and not just one volcano, but it will be multiple all at the same time.” I saw earthquakes measuring more than 9.0 in more than one place. They happened in multiple places at the same time. (Even a flyby of this monster could do this but I suspect one or more from the tail will hit.) The Lord said, “I told you and I warned you that it would affect the sun's light and the way it shines upon the Earth, for it will create a disruption in the birds' migration. It will cause a difference in the timing of when animals breed because it will confuse their natural instincts. All animals and creation were acting weird. Even the agriculture of the flowering and planning (planting) will be thrown off because of what's coming. I saw the magnetic poles and how the Earth was shifting, and it was moving differently.  Even the daytime will be different, and the way the Earth spins will be different. (A wobble is likely) Some people think it's a flat Earth, but it's not. (Amen)  He said the sun will look different in the days ahead. You will need to hear Him in the days ahead because of what I saw. The Lord said, “Look at Venice, Italy.” I could see the water in the city acting weird; there was flooding and a rise in the tides. There were “water events,” that's what I'll call them. Water events are about to take place in Italy that have never happened before because of what's happening to the Earth. The Lord said, “Watch Venice, Italy, and watch Rome. Watch the volcano that's about to go off in Europe.” This will be an event that is not just one in the ring of fire, but this will be a global event that starts taking place. Then I saw India and the Lord said, “Look at India, for a lot of the pagan temples will be destroyed with earthquakes in the days ahead.” I saw the glory of God coming in, and there were many in the harvest. I'm talking major revival throughout India. I saw monkeys on the temples and old shrines completely decimated by earthquakes. It was like when the walls of Jericho came down. Everything was flattened; there was nothing left, it was like rubble. The Lord said, “I will bring in My presence, and I'm going to decimate those false gods and false places of worship. There will be a great revival throughout India and all throughout Asia. I saw great Buddhist temples completely decimated when this takes place. They were shaken to the ground like piles of rubble. A major distraction is about to take place. So I asked the Lord more about this. I asked Him, “Is this about the two flying saucers? Is it the two alien ships?” This is a deception that's about to take place and it's false. It's demonic spirits. There is no such thing as aliens. (Absolutely True) There will be things in the sky that are going to scare many people in the days ahead, thinking, “This is E.T.; they really exist!” No. These are fallen angels; it's demonic. This will be how they will explain away the rapture of the church. People say, ‘I don't believe in the rapture,' but it's going to happen. (See our book: Hidden Manna- It clearly comes at the end of the Trib.)  I'm telling you by the Spirit of God, you need to get your houses ready. If you're not on fire for Jesus and your heart is not serving Jesus, today is the day. You need to get right with the Lord. People ask me when this will happen. I don't know how long before this happens; I'm just here to warn you about what's coming. So, I saw these major alien ships, and I saw it go over the Vatican and go over the Mayan temples down in Mexico. And I asked the Lord, “Are there two of these?” I have been praying about this, and He said, “No, it's just one.” This is going to make everyone freak out because they will see it moving across the ocean and think it's more than one. It will be seen on TV. Then I saw little tiny ships coming out of the mother ship that looked like balls of light. But it wasn't a real ship. Understand. This was a demonic-looking light that was traveling around, causing much confusion in our skies. I know this sounds “way out there.” I didn't even want to talk about it, but I'm instructed to. I'm here to warn you. As wild as it may sound, there will be fearful sights you will see that will bring you to your knees. I'm here to warn you of these things. The enemy does not play fair; he's trying to deceive people with what's coming and throwing many curveballs to try and deceive the nations. When the antichrist comes (See Hidden Manna) on the scene and he says, “Hey, we have a solution for all the problems in the days ahead.” “I'm going to bring peace and prosperity. All you have to do is bow down and worship me on Fridays…” “And you're going to have to get a chip. But it's going to be a solution because we're going to take care of all of this with AI. AI has the cure for diseases. We're going to fix diabetes, we'll fix cancer, and we'll fix autism. We're going to do all this through AI technology. If you just serve me on Fridays and do all that I tell you to do, we're going to fix all your ailments.” You watch! This is how they get everybody with hook, line and sinker. People will think that he's such a nice guy! (antichrist) They'll say, “Don't you know he has a plan to help everybody?” It's coming. But I won't be here to see it. I won't be here, and none of you will be here to see it. Those of us who are believers and have our lamps full of oil. (See Hidden Manna- Absolute proof we will all be here.) I heard the Lord say, “Pray. They're going to try to get another major virus in the days ahead.” I saw another major virus and the Lord said, “Rise up and pray, church! Pray that the glorious church rises.” People will be looking at us and asking us, “Do you have a solution for this new virus?” And we don't need to be handling this like we did COVID. You can either be hiding in your church or your houses because you're afraid of this thing, or we can be the glorious church and rise up and pray and take our authority over things. (Amen! Brandon – Exo. 15:26- “I will put none of the diseases upon thee”.) Last time in 2019, people were caught off guard. I heard about it six months in advance, about how there was going to be a major virus, but I didn't have a platform to warn people like I do now. (I told people 3 years in advance.) The Lord told me, “I'm giving you a window, Brandon, pray and tell them that they're going to try to do it again. But this time it will be COVID on steroids and it will be a whole different strand.” I'm trying to warn you that they have a plan for the future, and it's not that far off. (We can pray most of this down.) This will not just affect humans; I saw that it will also affect cattle and your pets. I saw dogs, cattle, birds, everything, lying dead everywhere. It was spreading to livestock everywhere like a plague. It was like the black plague of death. (in Europe 1346-1353) It was awful. But the glorious church! Remember, they had light in Goshen while it was dark in Egypt. I'm telling you that in the household of faith, if you rise up, if you pray and you read your Bible to know the Word of God, it will be like He said, “A thousand shall fall at your side and 10,000 at your right hand, but it will not come nigh you.” (True, if you believe) I asked the Lord, “What things can we stop?” He said, “Terrorist attacks; you can stop plots against the churches, but Brandon, you cannot stop Matthew 24.” He said, “You can be at the right place at the right time, and it won't affect you because you're My beloved. Be where I tell you to be and do what I tell you to do. Hear Me and be in sync with Me at all times and know that nothing will come nigh you.” (True) The Lord said, “Listen to Me, Matthew 24 will take place.” Which says, there will be wars and rumors of wars, plagues, pestilence and earthquakes in diverse places, massive storms, all these things and seas and waves roaring, men's hearts failing them for fear when they see all these things coming upon the Earth. We're going to see things we've never seen before, because the Bible says so. But there are certain things we can pray about and stop, and things we cannot stop. (We can almost always lessen the effect of them.) I'm telling you the things we cannot stop are going to happen, but they don't have to affect you. We're here in this world, but we're not of this world, right? We're underneath the shadow of the Almighty, under His wings, and Him shall we trust! And I know He's watching over me. His goodness and mercy are following me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. But it doesn't say I won't go through the valley of the shadow of death, but I will fear no evil. His rod and staff comfort me. He prepares a table before me in the presence of all my enemies. He told me He would take care of me, and I believe Him with all my heart that He will. And that's the place where I want to see all of you too. Regardless of what we see coming, and the birth pangs. He said, “As the labor pains that are coming upon a woman, Brandon, it's going to get really radical now.” And He said that as we go from Rosh Hashanah and even more from September (I think it's like the 21st)), when we hit this time frame, an acceleration of things is going to happen even on a greater level. But I'm giving you a window of financial outpouring. Believer for it. Pray for Judge Torres and these judges to let go of the things and crypto. That these corrupt people will set boundaries and laws and establish it and that it will all be a blessing for the body of Christ. People need to be listening. It won't all come through certain investments that you think it will come through. Don't limit God in your natural minds. Think bigger! The Lord said, “You're not thinking big enough.” He told me, “Brandon, I have a million and one ways to get you a million dollars. Do you understand Me?” “I am the God of more than enough. I'll provide for your ministry. I'll do whatever you need if you just ask Me in faith. Do you understand? My hand is not short.” Do you understand? He's an exceedingly abundantly above all that you ask or think to ask, God! And from what I've seen coming, you better get your house in order and your heart right before the Lord. You cannot be playing church anymore. If you thought COVID was bad, you haven't seen anything like what I've seen. For most people, it will steamroll them because their hearts are not ready, and they're not right with the Lord. It's not time to play church anymore. You're either hot or cold, but if you're lukewarm, He will spew you out of His mouth. You may say, “Where's the grace in all this?” I believe His grace is sufficient for every single one of you, but you need to be on the side where the devourer is rebuked, and He said He rebuked the devourer for your sake. You say, “Well, I'm a tither and I have tither's rights.” You either believe what the Word of God says for His promises (Psalm 91) or you are a doubter. A true believer believes that God will do what He says He will do. The Lord told me that there's too much static in the air. There are too many false prophetic words going forth. They're listening to a familiar spirit and they're speaking to itching ears, and they are not warning you what I'm trying to tell you. And He said that you either speak for Me or sit down and be quiet. Because I'm telling you, I saw judgments. The Lord said, “Judgement begins in My house first and many people don't like that.” But He said, “I'm cleaning house, Brandon, and I'm really about to clean house!” There will be righteous people rise up who have never had a platform before, similar to mine. They will rise up and say exactly what He says to speak. You're going to see signs and wonders that follow those who believe. (The “greater works” ministry.) He said, the true demonstrations of the manifested presence of the sons of God. When you're moving and doing what He told us to do, you will see the signs and wonders. I believe it with all my heart. We're about to see things like we've never seen before. But it's time to be like it was for Jeremiah and all those other prophets of old, when they spoke for God; you'll see things. You're going to start to see the manifestations of what they're saying. You are going to see healings and demonstrations in the glory. There is too much confusion and too many people parroting things. The Lord said, “I'm dealing with this.” He told me, “Your job is to tell what you see and what I'm telling you in prayer, and you relay what I'm saying.” I don't consider myself a prophet, and I've said this before. The Lord said, “I want you to pray and intercede for the revival and lead My people to Jesus. That's your main priority right now.” And He said, “True prophetic voices will be leading people to Jesus.” They'll have altar calls and tell people they're going to hell if they don't repent. They're telling people that Jesus is coming, like John the Baptist in the wilderness eating locust and honey and telling everybody, “There's One coming. Jesus is coming.” But they missed the way Jesus was coming, and history repeats. He came in a body of the Son of David, and the apostates missed him. Here, Hidden Manna could show us how He is coming in the firstfruits sons of David and then His elect, before coming for us. Just as in Jesus' day, the creation of God was waiting for a Son to come with the Word of deliverance from the curse of corruption, so it is in our day. (Rom.8:19) For the earnest expectation of the creation waiteth for the revealing of the sons of God. (21) that the creation itself also shall be delivered from the bondage of corruption into the liberty of the glory of the children of God. In Jesus' day, spiritual “children” had led His creation into bondage to corrupt religion and sin, but God sent His “Son” to deliver them with the unleavened bread. So it will be in our day. The foundations have been destroyed by many generations of children put in positions of leadership by those who have wanted their ears tickled. In times of apostasy God gives them what they want. (Isa.3:4) And I will give children to be their princes, and babes shall rule over them. (5) And the people shall be oppressed, every one by another, and every one by his neighbor: the child shall behave himself proudly against the old man (mature), and the base against the honorable. (12) As for my people, children are their oppressors, and women rule over them. O my people, they that lead thee cause thee to err, and destroy the way of thy paths. God's solution will be to reveal His sons, whom He will use to restore a repentant remnant with the truth that sets free. In His first body, Jesus offered this deliverance to “the lost sheep of the house of Israel” (Mat.10:6) before there was a great falling away, but in the corporate Man-child Jesus will offer it to the called of the “whole creation” to restore the elect. (Rom.8:22) For we know that the whole creation groaneth and travaileth in pain together until now. The work of the Spirit is to bring us to adoption: spirit, soul, and ultimately body. Jesus was the Son of God abiding in the Son of Man. He was the Son in Spirit and Soul when He still inhabited a body of the seed of David (Rom.1:3). His ability to fully walk in the Kingdom came when He received His redeemed, glorified body. So shall it be with the Man-child manifested “sons.” They will first manifest Sonship in spirit and then progressively in soul through persecution and suffering, as it was with Jesus. (Heb.5:8) Though he was a Son, yet learned obedience by the things which he suffered; (9) and having been made perfect, he became unto all them that obey him the author of eternal salvation. Through this stage, the Man-child sons will minister in power to the called of God, as it was with our pattern, Jesus. In Romans we see the last step of full adoption through the new body. (Rom.8:23) And not only so, but ourselves also, who have the first-fruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, waiting for [our] adoption, [to wit], the redemption of our body. Our faith, like our Father's faith, “calleth the things that are not, as though they were” (Rom.4:17), so we must claim our Sonship before we see it. (Gal.3:26) For ye are all sons of God, through faith, in Christ Jesus. The manifestation will come to those who walk by faith, beholding the Son in the mirror. (2Co.3:18) Those who claim their Sonship, and the authority and privileges that go with it, because of the redemption wrought in Christ are accounted as sons. We are “justified (Greek: “reckoned or accounted righteous”) by faith in Christ” (2:16). If I believe that “I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I that live, but Christ liveth in me” (20), then I am a son by faith even if I am not yet a son by manifestation. (3:6) Even as Abraham believed God, and it was reckoned unto him for righteousness. (7) Know therefore that they that are of faith, the same are sons of Abraham. Therefore, if we have received the Spirit of Christ and believe that He now lives in us to do His works, we are sons by faith. (4:6) And because ye are sons, God sent forth the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, Abba, Father. (7) So that thou art no longer a bondservant, but a son; and if a son, then an heir through God. Those who live as joint heirs with Christ are walking in the faith of Sonship and will manifest His works by God's power. Jesus said, “He that believeth on me, the works that I do shall he do also; and greater [works] than these shall he do; because I go unto the Father” (Joh.14:12). God is carefully bringing His servants/children who walk by faith to manifest Sonship, first the Man-child and then those disciples who follow in His steps. (Pro.29:21) He that delicately bringeth up his servant from a child Shall have him become a son at the last. While the apostates were waiting for the coming Messiah, He was being manifest in their midst as a man-child born to a woman. According to this type, the apostates in our day are waiting for Jesus to come in the sky to save them. They do not understand that He will come first manifested in the Man-child. The “Son” will come to be manifested only in those “children” who “abide in Him.” This is what the manifestation of Sonship is. Those who do not manifest Sonship will be “ashamed” like the man without the wedding garment, when they physically see Jesus. (1Jn.2:28) And now, [my] little children, abide in him; that, if he shall be manifested (in us through Sonship), we may have boldness, and not be ashamed before him at his coming (Greek: parousia, meaning His “physical presence”). Both the ancient manuscripts and the numeric pattern say, “if … He be manifested” (NENT). “If” shows that only the “children” who manifest Jesus or Sonship will not be “ashamed” when He comes. The KJV translated this as “when He shall appear” because they thought this was a reference to Jesus' physical coming, which truly is a “when” and not an “if.” A major problem with this translation is that it has Jesus coming twice at the same time. “When he shall appear, we may have confidence, and not be ashamed before him at his coming (KJV).” However, “manifested” here is the Greek word phaneroo, meaning “to ‘appear' or make visible.” It comes from the root word phan, meaning “to shine.” The same word used in many other places plainly shows us that the glory of Jesus will “shine” out of our “mortal bodies” (Rom.8:11) to “appear” to the world. (2Cor.4:11) For we who live are always delivered unto death for Jesus' sake, that the life also of Jesus may be manifested (Greek: Phaneroo meaning “shining appearance”) in our mortal flesh. Obviously this is a spiritual shining out of us of the righteous glory of God, but sometimes God allows even lost people to see it. Around 1984 I was witnessing to a man who said, “I saw you some years ago and there was a light shining out of you wherever you went and I wondered what it meant.” (6) Seeing it is God, that said, Light shall shine out of darkness, who shined in our hearts, to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ. Notice in the same text that if we know the true “face of Jesus Christ” in the mirror by faith, His glory will shine in us. (3:18) But we all, with unveiled face beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are transformed into the same image from glory to glory…. (Col.3:4) When Christ, [who is] our life, shall be manifested (in us), then shall ye also with him be manifested (“shining appearance”) in glory. Back in our 1 John text, we see that when we are children, He has not yet made His shining appearance in us. (1Jn.3:2) Beloved, now are we children (Greek: teknon) of God, and it is not yet made manifest (“shining appearance”) what we shall be. (If He makes His shining appearance in us, “we shall be like him.”) We know that, if he shall be manifested (“shining appearance,” i.e. in us), we shall be like him; for we shall see him even as he is (in the mirror). The ancient manuscripts, the numeric pattern, and the Received Text all say “if he … be manifested” here. Notice also that those who “see him even as he is” in the mirror by faith “shall be like him.” We must believe that “as he is, even so are we in this world” (1Jn.4:17). The rest of this text confirms this manifestation of Jesus will come in those who have a “confident expectation” of it. (1Jn.3:3) And every one that hath this hope (Greek: “a good, confident expectation”) [set] on him purifieth himself, even as he is pure. Can we purify ourselves “as he is pure”? Those who have a “confident expectation” of this manifestation of Christ in them will receive “grace” to walk in it. (Titus 2:11) For the grace of God hath appeared, bringing salvation to all men, (12) instructing us, to the intent that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly and righteously and godly in this present world; (Only those who are “looking for” the “shining appearance” of Jesus' glory from them will have it.) (13) looking for the blessed hope and appearing (Greek: epiphaneia, a “shining forth”) of the glory of the great God and our Saviour Jesus Christ; (Notice that this does not speak of the physical coming of the Lord but of the coming of His glory in us. Epiphaneia here speaks of Jesus' coming in us and is distinct from parousia, which speaks of His personal “presence” or coming. In other words, He will come for those from whom He is “shining forth.” He is coming in His saints before He comes for His saints. To this end He sacrificed Himself.) (14) who gave himself for us, that he might redeem us from all iniquity, and purify unto himself a people for his own possession, zealous of good works. The Man-child is made up of those who are the First-fruits company to manifest the glory of this purity. Those who “fight the good fight of the faith” shall have this epiphany of Jesus, either as the Man-child or as the Woman He leads into this understanding. (2Tim.4:7) I have fought the good fight, I have finished the course, I have kept the faith: (8) henceforth there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, shall give to me at that day; and not to me only, but also to all them that have loved his appearing (Greek: epiphaneia). Like Paul, those who have loved His “shining forth” in them shall have the “crown of righteousness.” Jesus was called the first fruits who, as a reformer, imparted Himself into disciples through the Word and anointing of the Holy Spirit. Then they went forth as a corporate body to pass this on to others. Today a corporate body of reformers is about to be revealed to do the same with a much larger portion of the Church. Signs and wonders will cover the earth. Now, here's a portion of a prophetic warning we shared earlier from Brandon Biggs at Last Days: https://youtu.be/9epckXNXLN0 Also, we need to pray over our water supply. (Brandon doesn't share anymore about the water supply in this video. However, I read Bill Gates or his organization plans to buy up water suppliers. Given his depopulation history this cannot be good.) He continues, I saw an article from Fox News saying that Trump and BB have agreed on a two-state solution. This is one of the things from the Abraham Accords and they were saying how they wanted to make a two-state solution, and they were agreeing upon it. I have spoken before that if they do this two-state solution, 3 days later the New Madrid fault line will go off and America will be divided in half. (I have said this for at least 30 years. believe the NM will go off but it will be greatly diminished compared to the dreams and visions because of prayers for God's mercy.) When this happened, I saw great big Chinook helicopters flying from the west to the central part of America carrying supplies. It sounded like the earth was shaking, they had so many helicopters over the affected area. And this is where I said before where I saw the Lion's face carved into the side of a building and I had warned everyone that I saw tumbleweeds going down Wall Street. (In the Long Run we will lose Wall Street) The Lord told me to look at the Lion's face and I saw it was the building that was the New York Stock Exchange. The Lord was warning that if they divide Jerusalem, if they do a two-state solution, He is going to divide America. (I believe it will quake and crack but not with the huge divide) I saw the nation split down the middle and all the bridges going down from West to East, completely destroyed on the Mississippi River. I saw from Texarkana, Texas, to Tulsa, Oklahoma where I saw over 1800 people die. I saw the massive building at ORU (Oral Roberts University) was split down the middle and on fire when this earthquake happens. Houses that were built on cinderblocks were completely leveled and destroyed. Houses built on a foundation did better. I saw thousands of people died when this event takes place. That is why I've always told people we must not divide Jerusalem, for when we do, 3 days after… Now I want you to hear me, that's how strong this Word was. I saw the Liberty Bell ringing and old cast iron bells ringing when this event happens. Three days after Jerusalem is divided and agreed upon, there will be 3 days and God will divide America. We must pray that this does not take place. This announcement has been shared on multiple news channels and including The Jerusalem Post. Pray. (I do not believe it will be stopped, only lessened. I have taught for many years that the Man-child ministry of Jesus will begin when the NM goes off.)

Are you stuck in a daily grind? In this episode of Spirit Connection, we have a special excerpt from a recent Monthly Mentoring Session and it's so encouraging!  Doug brings another part of the prophetic word for this month. If you are longing for a place of rest and not toil, you'll want to watch or listen to learn what God is doing in this season.  The post No Longer Laboring in Vain [Episode 400] first appeared on Doug Addison.

God wants a bunch of OXEN in His church.  Working. Laboring. Eating voraciously. He wants everybody to be using their gifts for His kingdom. Every single person should have an answer to the question: "Where do you serve?"The relevance of this ancient verse is reinforced by two significant reiterations of it in the New Testament.  It is there that the full meaning of our ancient passage is brought forth.  It is about more than OXEN.  It is about what we owe our pastor/elder. Listen 7 minutes to hear what we owe those who work hard amongst us.https://youtu.be/-JrGWz9TAxE

Text: Galatians 4:19; Colossians 4:12-13 Preacher: Derek Baker

Guest Preacher: Pastor Luke Peterson of Emmanuel Baptist Church in Verona, VA.

Main Idea: Bold prayers lead to bold lives.Lessons:1. Pray sacrificially.2. Pray for new life.How to pray boldly:1. With presence.2. With honesty.3. With frequency.4. With understanding.Challenge:Labor with God in prayer to bear a better world.

Sponsor: Use code THEBIRTHHOUR at Inito.com to save $60 and get the Inito starter pack for just $89 and start using this unique at-home fertility monitor. The Birth Hour Links: Know Your Options Online Childbirth Course (code 100OFF for $100 OFF!) Beyond the First Latch Course (comes free with KYO course) Access archived episodes and a private Facebook group via Patreon! 

Sermon by Fr. Peter Smith4th Sunday of Ordinary Time

Contact us. We'd love to serve youGive financially to support the work of helping pastors thriveFind out more information about the Advancing the Church Conference. Request a stay at the Shepherd's HouseWrite a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify Resources(02:40) Biblical foundation and setting up the conversationBeing refreshed spiritually:(06:40) abiding in Christ(11:35) Laboring in hope with the end in viewBeing refreshed physically:(16:27) People, places, and things that are life giving(30:28) Final words(31:01) Develop an off switch(32:08) Being connected emotionally(33:42) Prayer

Contact us. We'd love to serve youGive financially to support the work of helping pastors thriveFind out more information about the Advancing the Church Conference. Request a stay at the Shepherd's HouseWrite a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify Resources(02:40) Biblical foundation and setting up the conversationBeing refreshed spiritually:(06:40) abiding in Christ(11:35) Laboring in hope with the end in viewBeing refreshed physically:(16:27) People, places, and things that are life giving(30:28) Final words(31:01) Develop an off switch(32:08) Being connected emotionally(33:42) Prayer

Full Text of ReadingsTuesday of the Sixth Week of Easter Lectionary: 292The Saint of the day is Saint Augustine of CanterburySaint Augustine of Canterbury's Story In the year 596, some 40 monks set out from Rome to evangelize the Anglo-Saxons in England. Leading the group was Augustine, the prior of their monastery. Hardly had he and his men reached Gaul when they heard stories of the ferocity of the Anglo-Saxons and of the treacherous waters of the English Channel. Augustine returned to Rome and to Gregory the Great—the pope who had sent them—only to be assured by him that their fears were groundless. Augustine set out again. This time the group crossed the English Channel and landed in the territory of Kent, ruled by King Ethelbert, a pagan married to a Christian, Bertha. Ethelbert received them kindly, set up a residence for them in Canterbury and within the year, on Pentecost Sunday 597, was himself baptized. After being consecrated a bishop in France, Augustine returned to Canterbury, where he founded his see. He constructed a church and monastery near where the present cathedral, begun in 1070, now stands. As the faith spread, additional sees were established at London and Rochester. Work was sometimes slow and Augustine did not always meet with success. Attempts to reconcile the Anglo-Saxon Christians with the original Briton Christians—who had been driven into western England by Anglo-Saxon invaders—ended in dismal failure. Augustine failed to convince the Britons to give up certain Celtic customs at variance with Rome and to forget their bitterness, helping him evangelize their Anglo-Saxon conquerors. Laboring patiently, Augustine wisely heeded the missionary principles—quite enlightened for the times—suggested by Pope Gregory: purify rather than destroy pagan temples and customs; let pagan rites and festivals be transformed into Christian feasts; retain local customs as far as possible. The limited success Augustine achieved in England before his death in 605, a short eight years after his arrival, would eventually bear fruit long after in the conversion of England. Augustine of Canterbury can truly be called the “Apostle of England.” Reflection Augustine of Canterbury comes across today as a very human saint, one who could suffer like many of us from a failure of nerve. For example, his first venture to England ended in a big U-turn back to Rome. He made mistakes and met failure in his peacemaking attempts with the Briton Christians. He often wrote to Rome for decisions on matters he could have decided on his own had he been more self-assured. He even received mild warnings against pride from Pope Gregory, who cautioned him to “fear lest, amidst the wonders that are done, the weak mind be puffed up by self-esteem.” Augustine's perseverance amidst obstacles and only partial success teaches today's apostles and pioneers to struggle on despite frustrations and be satisfied with gradual advances. Saint Augustine of Canterbury is the Patron Saint of: England Love the saints? Check out these six titles on Catholic saints! Saint of the Day, Copyright Franciscan Media

How do children develop? How do we give them the best chance of healthy development? The fact of the ocean of ink spilled on this question has not lessened the actual wonder of this process or the reality of its mystery.   In a presentation filled with stories and examples, Brandon Mullet explores the basic needs of children. Brandon speaks as an administrator, teacher, and parent.   He discusses themes such as: Laboring for what is right and fulfilling for children without regard for own reputation and recognition Ministering sacrificially to children Walking with Christ so we can minister in his love Letting children know that we love them and enjoy them and like being with them   This presentation was given over 25 years ago which highlights the reality that these issues are timeless. May you find them illuminating and orienting as you head into the summer and engage with the children in your life as well as reflecting on this past school year. Links Child Development Workshop 1998: https://thedockforlearning.org/series/child-development-workshop/  Opening comic: https://www.gocomics.com/peanuts/1962/02/04 This was first published on The Dock as "Child Development: Biblical Orientation:" https://thedockforlearning.org/lecture/child-development-biblical-orientation/ 

Leviticus 20:7 Philippians 2:12-16

Recorded on 5/10/25. Building Kingdom is not easy. Following Jesus is not easy. But it's so worth it! Join Hector and Ricky in a discussion about the personal challenges of surrender, building, and trying to do what is "right."

In this episode of the MamasteFit Podcast, Birth Story Friday, Roxanne sits down with joined by Allison, who shares her transformative journey through two births. Allison's first experience involved an induction that ended with a C-section during the peak COVID-19 shutdowns, where she felt like a passive participant in the birth process. Her second birth was a VBAC, highlighting the power of proper education, advocating for oneself, and the importance of building a supportive birth team. Allison's story underscores how being an active participant can lead to a more empowering and positive birth experience. 00:00 Introduction to the MamasteFit Podcast01:17 Allison's First Pregnancy and Birth Experience02:47 Challenges During Induction and Labor07:41 C-Section and Postpartum Struggles09:05 Preparing for a VBAC11:21 Second Pregnancy and Labor Preparation17:50 Early Labor Signs and Doula Support20:18 Active Labor and Coping Techniques27:17 Deciding to Stay Home or Go to the Hospital27:36 The Car Ride to the Hospital30:22 Arriving at the Hospital32:14 Laboring at the Hospital38:17 The Final Push and Birth46:33 Postpartum Recovery and Reflections48:35 Importance of Education and Advocacy54:59 Conclusion and Resources——————————Get Your Copy of Training for Two on Amazon: https://amzn.to/3VOTdwH

Series: N/AService: Gospel MeetingType: SermonSpeaker: Josh McKibbenTo download this video, go directly to the video page on Vimeo by clicking the in-video title above.Look for the download button below the video there.If you feel this was beneficial to you, please like and share this video.

Series: N/AService: Gospel MeetingType: SermonSpeaker: Josh McKibbenTo download this video, go directly to the video page on Vimeo by clicking the in-video title above.Look for the download button below the video there.If you feel this was beneficial to you, please like and share this video.

On Monday Match Analysis, Gill Gross dissects Carlos Alcaraz's feel good title in Monte Carlo, beating a banged up Lorenzo Musetti in the final. We'll discuss Musetti's physical woes, the critical start of the 2nd set and how Alcaraz used his soft skills and positive attitude to ascend to the lead, why his drop shot is most effective on clay and why Musetti's return strategy is a good matchup for Alcaraz. 0:00 Intro 2:15 Musetti Physical 4:20 Start of 2nd Set 11:38 Clay Dropshotting 15:55 Returning vs. Carlos IG: https://www.instagram.com/gillgross_/ 24/7 Tennis Community on Discord: https://discord.gg/wW3WPqFTFJ Twitter/X: https://twitter.com/Gill_Gross The Draw newsletter, your one-stop-shop for the best tennis content on the internet every week: https://www.thedraw.tennis/subscribe Become a member to support the channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvERpLl9dXH09fuNdbyiLQQ/join

Series: N/AService: Gospel MeetingType: SermonSpeaker: Josh McKibbenTo download this video, go directly to the video page on Vimeo by clicking the in-video title above.Look for the download button below the video there.If you feel this was beneficial to you, please like and share this video.

Series: N/AService: Gospel MeetingType: SermonSpeaker: Josh McKibbenTo download this video, go directly to the video page on Vimeo by clicking the in-video title above.Look for the download button below the video there.If you feel this was beneficial to you, please like and share this video.

Series: N/AService: Gospel MeetingType: SermonSpeaker: Josh McKibbenTo download this video, go directly to the video page on Vimeo by clicking the in-video title above.Look for the download button below the video there.If you feel this was beneficial to you, please like and share this video.

Series: N/AService: Gospel MeetingType: SermonSpeaker: Josh McKibbenTo download this video, go directly to the video page on Vimeo by clicking the in-video title above.Look for the download button below the video there.If you feel this was beneficial to you, please like and share this video.

Series: N/AService: Gospel MeetingType: SermonSpeaker: Josh McKibbenTo download this video, go directly to the video page on Vimeo by clicking the in-video title above.Look for the download button below the video there.If you feel this was beneficial to you, please like and share this video.

Series: N/AService: Gospel MeetingType: SermonSpeaker: Josh McKibbenTo download this video, go directly to the video page on Vimeo by clicking the in-video title above.Look for the download button below the video there.If you feel this was beneficial to you, please like and share this video.

Welcome back to the Pain Free Birth Podcast. Today, I'm interviewing Yaya DaCosta, an actor, birth worker, and way shower. We discuss ecstatic birth, Yaya stories giving birth in public in New York City, and how the emotions of Moms during pregnancy can imprint on the psychology and physiology of their babies.   Get 10% off the Pain Free Birth E-course HERE https://painfreebirth.thrivecart.com/pain-free-birth/  Grab the Healing Birth Trauma Course HERE https://painfreebirth.com/healing-birth-trauma/   TIMESTAMPS 00:00 Introduction to Ecstatic Birth 01:15 The Importance of Positive Birth Stories 02:09 Yaya's Personal Journey and Sensitivity 06:30 Navigating Pregnancy in New York City 10:14 The Impact of Maternal Emotions on Babies 12:11 Preparing for a Home Birth 14:49 The Unique Experience of Yaya's Birth 20:16 Laboring in Public: A Walk Through Contractions 25:23 The Moment of Birth: A Transformative Experience 26:58 The Ecstasy of Birth 29:12 Empowering Birth Stories 30:01 The Birth Experience Unfolds 34:11 The Immediate Connection 36:10 The Physiological Instinct of Babies 40:20 Reclaiming Sacred Births 42:37 The Aftermath of Birth 45:03 The Importance of Following Intuition 48:00 Pain Management Techniques 50:47 Addressing Maternal Mortality Rates 51:10 The Importance of Maternal Health Awareness 53:58 Addressing Systemic Issues in Maternal Care 58:02 The Role of Traditional Midwifery 01:01:03 The Black Maternal Health Festival 01:12:01 Cultural Shifts in Birth Practices   Yaya DaCosta's dynamic talent as an actress has been showcased in powerful performances across film, television and stage productions, including “The Lincoln Lawyer”, “Our Kind of People”, “Chicago Med”, “Whitney” and, most recently, “Not My Family: The Monique Smith Story”. The Brown University graduate is also a producer, birthworker, and wayshower, who is deeply dedicated to contributing to society's elevation through, art, beauty and magic. Her current Earth mission is to integrate her different callings through the creation and embodiment of empowering narratives that birth a kinder future for women in the entertainment industry, in birth spaces, and on the planet.   the Black Maternal Health Festival, which is from April 11th-17th. Tickets can be purchased here: https://www.sumistouch.com/bmhf?fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAaZ-r6Zw-WnMgK4Z_QuZLoJcxYoE3bkTqRWCIVdLdxuNJmlMMqGnYgmhu2Y_aem_3N2VzPaA14_ML097ciLr     CONNECT WITH KAREN: Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/@painfreebirthwithkarenwelton  Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/painfreebirth  Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/painfreebirth/  Spotify Podcast - https://open.spotify.com/show/5zEiKMIHFewZeVdzfBSEMS  Apple Podcast - https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/pain-free-birth/id1696179731 Website - https://painfreebirth.com/  Email List https://pain-free-birth.mykajabi.com/website-opt-in   CONNECT WITH YAYA instagram.com/yayadacosta instagram.com/wrapsnraps wrapsnraps.com

More than two million farmworkers do the hard, sometimes backbreaking work of planting, growing, and harvesting crops in the U.S. Focusing on strawberry and grape pickers in California, David Bacon describes what the work involves, where the workers come from, and steps they're taking to protect their rights and pursue justice. (Encore presentation.) The Reality Check: Stories and Photographs by David Bacon David Bacon, More Than a Wall/Mas que un muro El Colegio de la Frontera Norte, 2022 (Image on main page by David Bacon.) The post Laboring in the Fields appeared first on KPFA.

Join Susan on our podcast today as she shares her journey to a beautifully empowering CBA3C! Susan had three C-sections that didn't have anything to do with her body. They just happened to be circumstantial. All three of her births had been traumatic emotionally and did not go how she wanted at all. As far as making decisions for herself and doing what she really wanted to do, that was not present. But with her fourth baby, Susan had a lot of firsts. It was the first time that she was really able to voice what she wanted. She was able to make decisions out of peace and being educated instead of making decisions out of fear and being told what to do. That was the first truly empowering step in her process.Our mission at The VBAC Link is to make all births after difficult Cesareans better, and Susan's episode shows exactly that. Coterie Diaper Products, Code VBAC20 for 20% Discount How to VBAC: The Ultimate Prep Course for ParentsFull Transcript under Episode Details Meagan: Hello, Women of Strength. It is Megan, and I am joining you with my friend Susan. Hello, Susan. How are you?Susan: Hi Meagan. I'm doing great. How are you doing?Meagan: I am so great. You are from South Carolina, and at the time we're recording, even though this is now going to be in February, South Carolina has had crazy weather. How has everything been with you guys?Susan: Everything has been great. We're actually extremely blessed with the area that we are in. Initially, I thought it was something to talk about because I had a tree fall in the back of my house, but once I saw everything else going on in the area and just seeing the devastation that people had gone through, we are incredibly blessed with, the minimal damage with it just being a tree.Meagan: And this was Hurricane Helene?Susan: Hurricane Helene. Yeah. So all of our neighbors are pretty rough right now, so keep them in your prayers and help out where you can.Meagan: Seriously? Oh, we will be. We're actually recording right now in October, and today is the day that Florida is scheduled to be hit with another really crazy hurricane. So, yes.Susan: I've been thinking of Florida non-stop too.Meagan: Seriously, if you guys are listening, even though this is in February, oh my goodness, I hope all is well and everybody is okay.We do have our Review of the Week, so I definitely want to get into that before you share your four CBAC stories. We have people question, "Why is it called The VBAC Link, but then you share CBAC stories?" But I think the solid straight answer is because not every birth ends in a vaginal birth, and not everything always goes as planned. And you know what? Also, sometimes VBAC isn't desired, and CBAC is something that we don't want to forget about. In fact, if you didn't know, we have a CBAC Link Community. We have The VBAC Link Community on Facebook, and we also have a CBAC Link Community which is just the most amazing group as well. It's actually run by Paige, our transcriber, who I absolutely adore and just had her fourth Cesarean, which was a Maternal Assisted Cesarean. I still can't even believe all of those things happened. It's so amazing. But you guys, if you are looking for a CBAC support group, go to The CBAC Link Community on Facebook, and we'll make sure you get in. We have a review. It is by Jamie Poor. It says, "The absolute best." Thank you. That is so sweet. It says, "After having a scheduled C-section in 2016 for my son being breech, he flipped between 38 and 39 weeks, so he came as quite as a shock. I knew I wanted to VBAC for my next birth. Fast forward to 2019, my second pregnancy with our daughter, I found your podcast and obsessively listened to every single episode. It motivated me and educated me leading up to my due date. It even made me look forward to my long commutes to work. I hired a doula. I drank red raspberry leaf tea, ate the dates, did the Spinning Babies and really did all the things. And guess what? With the help and the education and advice provided on this podcast, I got my VBAC. I learned how to ask for what I wanted and advocate for myself with my doctor and when my body cooperated and went into labor, I felt prepared. My daughter was born in January 25, 2020, and I have to say her labor, delivery, and birth was the most healing, empowering experience of my life. Thank you, ladies, for providing this podcast for all women preparing for birth." Thank you so much, Jamie Poor, for your review, and congratulations on your amazing, empowering birth experience.Women of Strength, no matter how you birth, we want you to have a better experience. That is our goal here at The VBAC link to make birth after Cesarean better. A lot of first Cesareans are unexpected, undesired, unplanned, and do sometimes bring trauma. That doesn't mean even future Cesareans have to have trauma or be unplanned or be unprepared for. We want to learn all the ways we can make birth after Cesarean better no matter how that ends. Okay Susan, ending that review, we were just talking about no matter how birth ends. When you filled out your form, there was something that you said that things sometimes don't go as planned, but learning how to advocate for yourself and know that every birth is different is going to leave you feeling better. So I'm excited for you to share your four stories with us today, and I am excited to hear how you learned and grew and had better experiences with each one.Susan: Okay, so the first birth, I was 19. I was really young, and I didn't know a whole lot about birthing in general. I just did what I was told. I went to the hospital. I did what the white-coat man told me to do, and I didn't question anything. I was just a good patient all the way around. I had an amazing birth. I walked 8 miles before my induction date because I was a week over just trying to get things going and nothing was going. But you know how they are at the hospital. You know, as soon as you hit that 40-week mark, they want something to happen as soon as possible. So around, 41 weeks, I went "overdue" according to the medical standards. I went into the hospital and was super excited. They started the Pitocin drip, and my baby did not respond to that well at all. I was actually watching It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, and I was laughing so hard while the Pitocin was going that his heart rate actually dropped to zero, his fetal heart rate. I remember all of the nurses came rushing in. They were freaking out, and they were pulling on stuff and readjusting me. It was really scary. They stopped the Pitocin and then they restarted it, and then it happened again. So his fetal heart rate dropped scarily low two times. The doctor came back in and he said, "You have two options. You can probably go home and labor for days and days and days, or don't know how long it's going to be."Meagan: He made it sound hard though.Susan: Yeah. He made that sound not appealing at all. And then he said, "Or we can just go to the back and get a C-section and get this baby out." And I was like, "Let's do the C-section. Let's get him out asap," because I was just scared, and I was young, and I just wanted him to be okay. So we went back for the C-section, and it was a perfect recovery. I didn't really think much of it. I was just glad that I had a healthy baby.The second birth came along, and I was actually in a pretty tough situation at the time. I was faced with a choice of what am I going to do with my pregnancy? A choice that many women face. Whenever you're not in the most ideal spot to have a child at the time, no decision is easy. The decision that I chose for myself at that time was to do an adoption. I chose to go the adoption route. Whenever they had asked me about what I would want to do as far as the birth goes, I was just thinking of the adoptive parents and what would be best for them. It was a completely sacrificial thing that I did. I didn't think about myself at all or what would be best for my body or my health or anything like that. I just wanted to make sure that his adoptive parents would be there. To assure that, I just elected to have a repeat C-section. Fast forward a little bit later. I'm starting to learn a little bit more about natural birth and what that can mean in a woman's body and the benefits of it. I don't know too much, but I went to my provider on my third birth, and I mentioned, I said, "How would you feel about me trying to have a natural birth?" He just looked at me with disgust, and he was like, "Absolutely not. We're not gonna do that." I just really didn't know too much, and I just felt so defeated and like that really was the only option, and I wanted to do the right thing. I really didn't fight for myself. I think I may have mentioned it to one other person just briefly, and then I just dropped it. That was the third C-section. So at this point, I've had three C-sections that really didn't have anything to do with me or my body not progressing or anything like that. It just happened to be circumstantial. It really wasn't empowering. So far,  all three of my births had been traumatic emotionally and did not go how I really wanted at all. I mean, thank God the three babies were healthy, of course, but as far as me making decisions for myself and doing what I really would want to do, that was not present. So, fourth baby. So the fourth baby, I had a lot of firsts. So it was my first baby with the marriage that I'm in now. It was my first girl, and it was the first time that I was really able to think clearly and be able to voice what I wanted and be able to make decisions out of peace and being educated instead of making decisions out of fear and being told what to do. That was the first step that was super empowering in this process.Meagan: Yeah. I think when you start feeling empowered, that's where it begins, the second you start that. Yeah.Susan: Yep. So I went to my first appointment just to have the pregnancy confirmed. They were just pushing. The only thing they were really doing was making sure I got vaccinated. "Oh, your blood pressure's high, so you're probably at risk for preeclampsia." They're already putting me in all of these little boxes on my first visit. They're telling me to take aspirin because I had high blood pressure. I had high blood pressure, a lot of it due to white-coat syndrome just due to the trauma of being in the hospital. I was completely not at peace. I hated being there. I did not want to be at that doctor's office. And so I got in the car and I immediately am talking to my husband. We call his cousin because he comes from a family where it's really common to have home births and to use midwives and to use alternative ways. I was so blocked off that I really just couldn't see, but we started talking to his cousin and she was telling me, "No, this is actually totally possible. I know some midwives who are able to do it." I'm still clenching up with fear, but I want to let it go. I'm on Google and I'm like, "vaginal births after C-sections three times", and your podcast was actually the first one to pop up. I went on there, and I specifically looked up a story that had to do with a woman having a vaginal birth after three C-sections.  I just started to listen and my heart started to open and the fear started to dissipate. I was like, "I can do this. I can at least make a huge attempt to do it." And so I started to call different midwives and see what their availability was like. A good portion of the midwives don't want to work with you if you've had over three C-sections because they're contracted with the hospitals and are contracted with the state in some way to where they can't legally do that. It was really hard because I called around and called around, and either they weren't available or they just couldn't do it. But I finally found a midwife that was willing to work with me. Me and my husband met with her, and we sat down and talked. It was the first time I had ever had a conversation with "providers" where they actually believed in me, and they believed in my body, and they believed in my ability to give birth. It just meant so much to me to be looked at as a human and as a woman that can do this and not just as a patient who you want to push through and make money on and just get the C-section and be done and not have any risk involved. But there is risk involved having a C-section after three C-sections. There's risk doing it any way, and it's just like, what risk do you want to take?Meagan: Yeah. It's interesting, but what you were saying, "I just wanted someone to sit me down and talk to me like I'm human and have this feeling." I mean, I interviewed multiple providers, and it took me a long time to find that, too. That is what breaks my heart about this community. We have to go into these situations where we're searching for support that feels like a diamond in the rough.Susan: Yeah. And I want to just point out that even though this did end a Cesarean, and we all know that. There's no suspense there. There are so many points along the journey where I did have that healing. I did have that empowerment. It doesn't have to lead to a Cesarean in order to have that healing is what I really want my story to say. You can still make decisions and advocate yourself for yourself in a way where it doesn't necessarily have the VBAC.Meagan: Yes, yes, yes.Susan: Because I'm in the Facebook Community, and I see stories of women being so defeated and so sad when it doesn't end in the VBAC. I just want to inspire people that it doesn't have to be that. The empowerment can come in so many different forms. I was just completely elated after I spoke with her, and I just felt like it was meant to be. I loved her. I loved her energy. She had been a midwife for over 26 years. She had over 1100 home births and not a single maternal death.Meagan: Wow.Susan: Yeah. I just felt totally confident in her, so I went ahead and hired her to be my midwife. Just being able to go to her house and have the prenatal visits was so nice. That was another huge thing that was just amazing and not having to go to the hospital and fight every time. We did all of our prenatals there.She didn't beat around the bush. If there is an issue and I needed to address it, I would address it. I had a little bit of issues with my blood pressure, so I tweaked my diet and I was able to monitor that that way. Towards the end of my pregnancy, I had issues with my hemoglobin being low. I tried everything in the book, by the way, and the thing that helped me, just in case anyone's having issues with their hemoglobin, is I actually froze raw beef liver. I froze it, and then we cut it up into little tablets. I took this raw beef liver every morning because it gives you energy. Don't take it at night before you go to bed because you'll have trouble sleeping. But I took it in the morning and my hemoglobin went from like 9 to 11 within a week which was amazing because nothing else was working.Meagan: Yes.Susan: Yeah.Meagan: And I was going to say that frozen wheatgrass shots is another thing that can help with that. Yeah.Susan: Oh, I did not try that. I said I tried everything, but not that. Meagan: Liver and wheatgrass. Make a delicious smoothie.Susan: The things we do to stay healthy. So, yeah, sometimes people will try to make you feel like you're being irresponsible by not doing it the way that they've been programmed to do it. I'm just saying, it was totally responsible. If not, it was even more responsible because she may have picked up on things and was able to give me advice from a nutritional standpoint which is usually always the issue. It's something to do with your nutrition in your diet that someone in the hospital wouldn't tell me because all they wanted to tell me was to take an aspirin. Yeah.I went over. I was 42 weeks and 4 days, I think.Meagan: 42 weeks and 4 days?Susan: Yes.Meagan: Okay.Susan: So another thing I want to tell people, if you're planning on doing a home birth or doing a natural birth, even if you're planning on going to the hospital, I would recommend saying your due date is actually a month after it actually is to people just so you're not hounded at that like 39, 40-week mark because that was really hard mentally. Especially if you're planning to do a natural birth, it can be such a mental battle especially right there at the end and to have to deal with people know, being like, "Is she here yet? Did you have the baby?" It's just another thing to have to deal with. I would recommend saying it's a month after your actual due date. Yeah. I did absolutely everything you can think of to be the perfect student as far as home birth goes. I read every single book I can think of to prepare you for a natural home birth. I went into HypnoBirthing. I practiced the meditations and the exercises. I had the birth ball. I did all the exercises on the birth ball with my pelvis. I took all the right supplements. I did the pre-birth tincture. I was doing it beyond. People would try to talk to me being like, "You could die. You could bleed out," and I would cut them off. "I'm not having fear-based conversations. I'm not entertaining this. Yes, I'm going to do this because I want to do this. I'm not committed to this to the point of death for me and my child. If something goes awry I have no problem going to the hospital but this is what I'm doing. Leave me alone."Meagan: Good for you.Susan: Yeah. Yeah. So I was really proud of myself because they say it's like preparing for a marathon giving birth. So I really prepared. I had my mucus plug come out around maybe 42 weeks exactly. I was like, "oh my goodness, something's happening," because previously, I haven't experienced any signs of labor. I don't know anything. I've never had a contraction before.Meagan: Right.Susan: Even though this is my fourth child, I have no idea what any of this feels like. So I'm really excited. I'm like, "Wow, this is exciting." Actually, my water broke really shortly after that. I was sitting down on the couch, and I just started having gushes of water and gushes of water. I was talking to my midwife the whole time being like, "This is what's happening. There's so much fluid. There's so much." I had never had my water break before, so that was all new. I was scared. I was excited. She just reassured me. She goes, "No, this is just your water breaking." And she had told me that she's going to treat me like a first-time mom because I never have actually had a baby come through my birth canal. So a lot of times you can expect a long, strenuous labor when it's your first.Meagan: Yeah.Susan: So she said, "Your water has broken. That could either mean that it's going to speed things up and the baby will be here soon, or it could mean there's still a long road ahead." My midwife was really good about keeping my expectations very low as far as when the baby would be here.Meagan: Hey, I think there's something to that. We know that labor sometimes can be slower.Susan: She just didn't want me to stress out about it not happening sooner than later. She was just so good, so calm, so peaceful, and confident. I love her. She's the best midwife ever. I recommend her anytime I hear about people in the area wanting to have a home birth.I was starting to have contractions and then it would be like, go, go, go, and then everything would just stop. Because my water had broken, the chance of meconium was there. I had some meconium in my fluid, but it was yellow. It wasn't a high-alert type of meconium. It was just like, "Okay, we kind of need to get things going." So we talked and we decided to drink some castor oil. So I drank a tincture, the Midwives' Brew if you look it up on Google. I did that.Meagan: A lot of midwives will suggest that.Susan: Yes. So I did that, and it did throw me into really intense labor. We just got things going. I had my contraction timer going, and I had my sister and husband here. I really didn't want many people there at all at my birth. It's just such a private and intimate thing. That was just what I felt comfortable with. It would just be that. It would be a series of contraction after contraction, and then things would die down a little bit. I did every type of position you can think of. I went to the bath. I took baths. There was so much stuff I would do. I even found if I put my feet in really hot water, it would help take away from the pain of the contraction because I hate my feet being hot.Meagan: Oh, okay. Yeah.Susan: It would help me think more about my feet being hot. I would just do anything and everything I could to just help the process and help my body relax. As much HypnoBirthing as you do and as much meditation you do, every birth is different. At that point, I was like, "All of that is BS. All of that is crap." Hey, if it works for some people, great. I really tried to do it, but I had a lot of pain happening no matter what meditations or affirmations I was giving myself. I was talking to my midwife about that too. That's another thing I want to point out is that we all might have this vision of this really peaceful birth where the baby just slides out into your hand and you catch it and yay, everything is great.But also, I just want to everyone to give themselves permission to have a chaotic birth. If that's what your body needs to do, if you need to scream, if you need to shout, if you need to look like a hot mess, if your hair needs to be frazzled, let yourself do that. Sometimes just allowing yourself to let go a little bit can really help. I was laboring for three days.Meagan: Oh wow.Susan: I got to 7 centimeters dilated. I was so happy because my cervix was folded under.Meagan: Folded under?Susan: Yeah. So it was like a posterior cervix.Meagan: Oh, it was posterior.Susan: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.Meagan: Oh yeah. It starts posterior and through the labor process, it comes anterior and aligns well with the birth canal and opens and dilates and all that. Yeah.Susan: Yes. So, by the time I got to 7 centimeters, that had finally come forward.So we checked myself, and I was 7 centimeters. My cervix had come forward, and I was so happy and I cried for joy. I was like, "This is it. I'm at 7 centimeters. It's go time." And typically, that's when they have-- what do you call it when there's that shift?Meagan: Well, active labor. When active labor kicks in, is that what you were thinking?Susan: Well, I had already been in active labor. But the shift when you're at the final stage, almost? Because you know how labor will get to one stage, and your body will adapt to that, and then it'll get to another stage and another stage?Meagan: So from 6 centimeters on is statistically like that active labor stage.Susan: Okay.Meagan: I'm trying to think of what other word you're meaning, but it turns into active. Transition? is that what you're thinking?Susan: Just the most intense part. Yeah. Maybe.Meagan: Yeah, so you transition into that stage. Susan: Yeah. Okay. So, I did not go into that transition. I stayed at 7 centimeters. And even though I was having extremely hard contractions, they were not productive contractions. There was a point where I was on my toilet because that was my most comfortable place to be. I felt the safest on my toilet because I was scared of pooping. That was a fear of mine, and I wanted to be on the toilet just in case.Meagan: Were you having back and butt labor at all?Susan: I was having some back labor. I mean, it was the most pain, and it was such a journey because  you're in so much pain, and you're like, "Wow, this is the worst thing ever. How am I gonna do this?" And then the contraction goes away, and you're like, "Wow, I'm so grateful. I'm so grateful to be here. I'm so grateful my baby's almost here." And it's just an emotional roller coaster.Meagan: It is. Yeah.Susan: So nothing was really happening as far as the progressing. My midwife comes to me while I'm on the toilet, and she goes, "All right, Ms. Madam. Let's get your pretty dress on, and let's go for a walk." I looked at her like, "Are you crazy?" But I did it. I got my dress on, and I went for a walk through my neighborhood. I walked probably 2 miles, contracting throughout my neighborhood trying to get something going.Meagan: Wow. Susan: Yeah. And then I come back in the house, and there was two midwives there. One of them said, "If I could do my labor over, I probably would have just walked and walked and walked until the baby got there and would have tried my best not to be scared of the pain or let the pain stop me from really pushing into the contraction." So that's what I did. I started walking circles around my house, and I was telling myself, "No pain is too great to bear for my baby to be here." And I was even talking to my baby like, "Let's do this. Let's go to the next phase." I got to a point where I looked at my midwife, and I just said, "I'm exhausted. I have to lay down." I lay down, and I woke up, and my sister was lying with me. I started to just feel shivery, like really shivery. I started to get chills. It was just like I felt like I had nothing left in me. As soon as the shivers and the chills started, I knew I probably had a fever. I was looking at my sister and I just said, "I really don't feel like I can keep doing this." She said, "Well, is there something else on your mind?" I said, "Yeah, I need to go to the hospital." I'm about to start tearing up. The midwife came in and I just told her. I was like, "I need to go to the hospital. I feel like that the next step is that I just need to get in the car, and if on the way there I change my mind and I want to come back home, I'm going to give myself permission to do that."She goes, "Well, let me just check you, and let's see what's going on." It was 12 hours since my last check. It was 12 hours, and I was still at 7 centimeters. I hadn't progressed at all. I immediately just got out of my bed. I put my dress on. I don't think my husband was quite ready to go, but my midwife was, so I just started walking to her car. I'm like, "I'm going to the hospital now." I just had made up my mind, and that's what we were going to do. It was a very peaceful ride to the hospital. I had my little Depends on. She put a little pad under me. I remember asking her, "So has anyone ever peed in your front seat before?" Everything was just starting to get a little haywire. I just couldn't hold it in at all.Meagan: Yeah, yeah.Susan: We were just having a fun conversation on the way there. We got to the hospital. Well, the farther we got to the hospital, the more at peace I felt. The thought of going home was terrifying to me. As soon as we got there, I saw the nurses in the ER, and it was like beams of light were beaming through their heads. I knew I was at the right place. I got there, and they were just so sweet and so supportive. I still wanted to entertain the idea of having a vaginal birth if possible. It was just that I had to get an epidural because there was nothing left in me. I had nothing else to give in my body.Meagan: Yeah.Susan: I wanted to entertain that. And they go, "Well, yeah." They were like, "Were you hoping to have a VBAC?" And I go, "Yeah, actually I was hoping to have that," but I wasn't so committed to it to where I wouldn't have had a C-section. I already knew that I'm just going to do what's best for whatever the situation is after they assess me.But they were actually willing to let me have an epidural and have a VBAC. They were like, "Yeah, that's totally fine if that's what you want to do." And I was like, "Really?" And this was a separate group of providers that I had never experienced before. So yeah. It was absolutely amazing being talked to and being actually asked what I wanted to do.Meagan: Yeah.Susan: So they were doing all of my vitals. And as soon as I got to the hospital, that's when everything went berserk. My blood pressure skyrocketed. My heart rate went up. I was preeclamptic, and I was septic from meconium being in my uterus for that long. As soon as she was checking me, my daughter, Carrington, actually had scooted her head up a little bit to kind of show us what was going on, and the meconium was green. So as soon as I saw that there was green meconium, I was like, "Take me back for a C-section right now," because we all know that's infection. They were so relieved when I was totally fine with having a C-section. They gave me the spinal, and I just remember that being like the best feeling ever having no pain after being in such turmoil and in pain for so long.As soon as they pulled her out of me, she took another massive poop. So if I would have waited any longer, she would have been in that as well, and her chances for aspirating on it would have been really, really high. So yeah, that was it.I felt really great about the C-section. It was empowering because even up until that moment, I still was making decisions for myself and making decisions for my daughter. The decision that I made at the end was to save myself and her. To know that I made that decision and wasn't so committed to an outcome that I was able to make the right decision was like, "Wow. Yeah. I did that." Even though this is something that I wanted more than anything, I was able to let that go and save myself and her.Meagan: I love that you pointed that out of like, I had this empowering healing experience because I was really able to make the decisions along the way. You made the decision to get in that car. You made the decision to continue laboring. Then things changed. You made the decision to call it. And I think that is where a lot of the healing and growing comes from, is when we are able to make the decisions. The trauma, the fear, the hurt is when providers are coming at us and telling us what we are doing. "You are going to do this. I will only allow you to do this. You can if..." and then they give their restrictions. I think that you just nailed it on the head. You were able to make your decisions and be in control of your birth. And no, it wasn't the original outcome that you wanted. You wanted that vaginal birth. You were going for that vaginal birth. Things were really looking great, and when they weren't, you changed your mind. I just think, Women of Strength, take this with you today and know that you are in charge of your birth. Yes, babies and births can throw twists and curves and hurdles and all the things along the way, but you are the one who can make the decision for you. You do not have to be told what you do and do not have to do. Now, we also know that there are true emergent situations. There are true, true, true emergent situations where we maybe don't have a lot of time to sit and think and ponder and wonder what we should do and then follow that. It's just we have to say yes or no right then because it's an emergency situation. Susan: And being able to trust yourself that you are going to know if you need to call it and when to call it.Meagan: Yes.Susan: And that your intuition and your ability to just be in tune with your body and your baby is there.Meagan: Yeah. Absolutely.Susan: Yeah. And you'll know.Meagan: You will know. We talk about the intuition all the time. I mean, I don't know. I would say if not every podcast, probably every other or every couple other, we talk about this intuition. It is so real. I mean, Susan had this intuition. She felt it. She really did. Everybody listened to her. It's so important to be heard and to trust that intuition. So I applaud you, Susan. I'm so grateful that you were able to follow your intuition and be heard and call the shots of your own birth because you did deserve it. I am so happy for you. I know everybody else in the world cannot see your sweet baby, but I can and she's beautiful. I'm just so happy for you that you're able to have these experiences, and you have grown through each one.Susan: Mhmm, mhmm. And just the preparation of having a natural birth and what goes into it physically and mentally is worth it in itself to just give it a try if that's what you're wanting to do. And then allowing yourself to go into labor so all of your body's hormones are released in active labor, even if you do end up having a C-section, that's super valuable for your health and your baby's health.Meagan: Yeah, I was actually going to ask you that question. Yes, it ended in a Cesarean, but would you still have gone for the VBAC?Susan: Yes. I wouldn't have traded any of it for anything. I 100% would have done it again even if I knew what the outcome was going to be.Meagan: Yeah.Susan: Yeah.Meagan: Well, thank you so much for sharing your stories today.Susan: Thank you for having me here and thank you for doing this podcast and being in the business of releasing fear among women because it's like a pandemic of the mind almost.Meagan: Seriously though, we are being told that we have to be scared day in and day out. I mean, we hear these stories. I recorded a story earlier today and it was just like constant fearmongering every single time she was there. That stuff gets really tiring and it's hard to stand up to. But again, it comes down to education, learning these stories, learning your options, and then again following that intuition. So yeah, Women of Strength, you are amazing.Susan: Thank you. You're amazing too, Meagan.ClosingWould you like to be a guest on the podcast? Tell us about your experience at thevbaclink.com/share. For more information on all things VBAC including online and in-person VBAC classes, The VBAC Link blog, and Meagan's bio, head over to thevbaclink.com. Congratulations on starting your journey of learning and discovery with The VBAC Link.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-vbac-link/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

We have two beautiful CBAC stories for you on the podcast this week! Today's episode is with our friend, Melanie. Her first unexpected Cesarean was in April 2020 at the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic. It was a very lonely and traumatic experience. Melanie found healing through a birth trauma therapist who helped her process her story and prepare for her second birth with a strong mindset. She took charge of what she could while making peace with what she couldn't control. Unfortunately, many things out of her control did happen, and Melanie faced another Cesarean. All of the healing work paid off though, as Melanie was not traumatized but empowered instead. “Birth stays with you forever. It's not something you ‘move on from'. My first birth was 5 years ago and still barrels me over from time to time. Likewise, the pride I feel in how I advocated for myself during my second birth continually gives me strength.”IMG_6660 (1) - Melanie Doyle.jpgCBAC Support - The VBAC Link CommunityBirth Story MedicineNeeded WebsiteHow to VBAC: The Ultimate Prep Course for ParentsFull Transcript under Episode Details Meagan: This is actually the week that we are kicking off CBAC week. This week you'll hear two CBAC stories. If you haven't caught on yet, every month we have one week with a couple episodes that is a more specialized episode. So if you're looking for CBAC stories, this is your week, and we have our friend, Melanie, with us today.Hello everybody, it's Meagan. I have my friend, Melanie, with us today. Melanie is a 31-year-old mama of two who had two C-sections. While she struggles with birth trauma from her second birth, an emergency C section, it was still quite healing, she said. I love that you're talking about that. You still struggled with this, but it can still be healing. That was how I was. I wanted a VBAC with my second birth. I really, really, really wanted a VBAC, but it didn't happen. It didn't go as planned, and I had a CBAC. I walked down to that or and I had that second C-section, and it was not what I wanted. There was still trauma involved and lots of feelings, but it was still one of the most healing experiences for me. Weirdly enough, I think it's what he needed. I needed that to help me heal from birth one and birth two.So let's talk a little bit about CBAC, and how it can be as a mom who is wanting a VBAC and it doesn't go as planned. Do you have anything to say on that?Melanie: Sure. Thanks, Meagan. Yeah, I have a lot of things to say on that. Honestly, like you, I wanted the VBAC. I did all of the things to try to get that VBAC. I did the yoga and the teas and the stretching and the chiropractor, and the acupuncture. I did it all, and it didn't happen. It wasn't meant to be.I guess I'll get more into that when I dive into my story. But the CBAC was healing because even though I didn't get the outcome I wanted, I was much more empowered throughout the whole process than I was in that first birth. Through a lot of healing and therapy, I realized that it was that empowerment piece that caused a lot of the trauma from my first birth. It wasn't the C-section itself. That wasn't what instigated all of those feelings and all that hurt, but the way I was made to feel, the way I was treated the doubts and insecurities that were planted in me from that experience that took away my power. Even though I did not get that outcome in my CBAC, it undid a lot of that in a way. I was able to of regain some strength and some autonomy. That's lasted a lot longer. I think in this kind of healing journey, it's still hard sometimes. I still feel like I'm just barreled over by the grief that's wrapped up in both of those births. Even though I have two wonderful, beautiful, healthy children, it doesn't all disappear, but it did help me regain a lot of confidence in my ability to advocate for myself and know what I'm capable of.Meagan: Yeah, I love that you pointed out that, that it was a more empowering experience, and you felt more empowered. I really think that along these journeys, if we can be educated and feel empowered, even if it doesn't go the exact way we want it, and that doesn't even just mean Cesarean and VBAC. I didn't want an epidural, and I got an epidural. I didn't want Pitocin. I got Pitocin.Melanie: Right.Meagan: There are all these different things that can happen that we didn't want. But if we can feel empowered and involved and educated and like we are making the decisions too, and sometimes we can't make them. Sometimes our babies make the decisions, and that's frustrating. That's hard. It's like, well, what could I have done? And we go down these real big spiraled, spaces. But if we can really feel empowered along the way, even though we still might not agree with wanting, the outcome of what we wanted, we can feel empowered and have more healing to come.I wanted to talk more about that too, because we see this happen in the VBAC group where it's like, "Hey guys, thank you so much for being with me along this journey. This group has been amazing. However, I feel like I just have to leave now. I can't be here. I don't feel welcome here because I ended in a Cesarean." One, Women of Strength, I want you to know you are always welcome. You are always welcome. And you are incredible. You do. You were not less than anybody else just because you've had a Cesarean. And two, we actually have a CBAC group. I wanted to point that out to any mamas who have maybe gone for the VBAC route or even decided not to VBAC and wanted to have a Cesarean to go into that CBAC group. It is so, so special. It is led and run mainly by the very own Paige on our VBAC team, who is incredible. I just love that group so much. It creates this just abundant amount of love and support that I think everyone deserves. I don't want you to feel alone because I know. I was one of them. When I had my CBAC I was like, I can't keep seeing these people have these VBACs. I wanted a VBAC. I didn't get a VBAC. There were so many feelings, and I didn't feel welcome there. It wasn't even because they didn't make me feel welcome. I just didn't categorize myself as qualified to be in that group. Yeah, so check out The CBAC Link Community on our Facebook and know that Women of Strength, you are incredible. Whether you have a vaginal birth or not, you are incredible. Melanie: Okay, you guys, we're gonna dive into Melanie's stories, I should say. There are two. There are two stories. So, yeah, let's start with birth number one.Melanie: Goodness. So my first birth, my daughter, who is about 4.5 now, was born in April 2020. So it was right at the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic lockdown which really set the scene in the most terrible of ways, as many of listeners probably remember, especially for anyone who had a baby during that period. I mean, it was so challenging those final weeks of my pregnancy. Every doctor's appointment I would go to alone. There was just new bad news being delivered to me about the restrictions that were being put in place. And I was very depressed. It was a heartbreaking time. Those final weeks of my pregnancy, I imagined nesting and being cozy with my husband before we had our first baby, and it was just all kind of ripped away like so much was during that period of time. I became really disassociated from my pregnancy and the joy that was meant to be coming. If someone had approached me on the street and said, "We can get that baby out now," I probably would have said, "Sure." I was really in a place of not caring, I guess, about what happened. I was just so desperate for this baby to be born before the restrictions got worse and before my husband wouldn't be allowed to be at the birth. So I was disassociated, I think, is the only way I can describe it. And then, of course, I went overdue because my kids don't come on time. This will be a recurring thing.Meagan: And with your first baby, that is also very common. Just saying. A lot of people carry over that 40-week mark, right?Meagan: Yeah. They don't tell you that when you get the handbook at the beginning of the pregnancy. I was overdue and was desperate to be induced. I went into this prior to the pandemic and everything, being pretty knowledgeable. I had attended a birth before. I had seen things go wrong and had originally had ideas about what I wanted my birth to be like. But at that point, I really was just desperate. The induction started really well. They placed Cervadil, and it kickstarted things like rapid-fire. It worked super well for me and I thought, "Okay, this might still be okay despite the induction. Despite all this, this might still go fine." Given the COVID-19 restrictions at the time, my husband wasn't allowed in with me until I progressed to a certain degree in my labor.Meagan: Wait, what? Melanie: Yeah. Meagan: Not at all until you progress to a certain point?Melanie: So around 7 centimeters, they were going to give him a call.Meagan: What was the difference of you being there at one point over the other?Melanie: Oh, it was tragic. So he waited in the car in the parking lot.Meagan: Oh, poor thing. Poor you. Melanie: So I was alone. And it was terrible. My contractions just came on so super fast because of the Cervadil. I started dilating really quickly and I thought, "Okay, they're going to get him in here. It's going to be okay." It Wasn't. I started to panic. I had not wanted an epidural, but I was obviously experiencing a lot of pain. They got the Cervadil out because of how I was reacting to it. The nurse asked if I wanted an epidural, and I said, "No, I'm okay for now. I'm coping." I waited a while longer, and I was still alone. They still hadn't called my husband, and I just couldn't do it alone anymore. The nurse talked me into the epidural, and I didn't want it, but I felt a little pressured. Yeah, pressured. That's the word. And again, in looking back on that, I recognize that a lot of the birthing people on the floor at that time were also alone. The nurses did what they could in those situations. But, yeah. I still hold a little bit of resentment, I guess, for those moments where I was my most vulnerable and by myself.Meagan: Yeah, understandably. That makes sense.Melanie: Yeah. So I got the epidural. My husband was allowed in shortly after, and things were still okay. I was still progressing fine. Then labor just stalled, which is the start of many stories. So we waited through the night. At some point, they started Pitocin. I was moving in all these ways. I should say that my doctor is a saint among humans. She's incredible. She was on with me all night. She did everything she could. She wasn't on when I first got admitted, but she came on later in the night, and she was phenomenal. She did everything she could to get things going again. And then her shift ended the next day, and somebody else came in. By that time, I had that pesky little cervical lip. My baby's head was OT. She couldn't make that last. I was 9 centimeters, but she couldn't get that last turn because of the tilt. I was swelling. There was meconium. Her heart rate was doing some wonky things, and off to the OR we went. I was okay with it initially.It felt like, "Okay, this is what happens." It was fine, really. I had a pleasant Cesarean experience. I wasn't nauseous. My husband was able to be there with me for the birth, and I had a lovely surgeon, so it was okay. I felt okay for the most part afterward.But again, because of the COVID-19 restrictions, my husband was only permitted to stay two hours after the birth. She was asked to leave and not allowed back until we were released. It was just me and my beautiful baby girl who was 8lbs, 9oz alone for 2.5 days after I was just recovering from major surgery.Meagan: Wow.Melanie: Those first few days were challenging. Breastfeeding was a disaster. A had terrible edema from all the fluids during the C-section. I was huge trying to breastfeed. I was just so puffed up. Everything was impossible. And again, because all the birthing people on the floor were without their partners, the nurses were run ragged. It was very difficult to receive care, to put it politely. I think honestly, a lot of the trauma that I have from that time came from my hospital stay afterward and how I was treated or how I felt kind of neglected and was again alone, in some of the most formative times of my motherhood experience. Meagan: Yeah. Melanie: So that was that really. That was my first birth. As the days progressed, and I got home and I just felt so defeated by and let down by how I was treated and not even how I was treated by people but by the situation. I mean, a lot of it was beyond anyone's control.Meagan: Yeah, that time, I have a lot of feelings. I was not a, mom birthing, but I was a doula supporting couples and saw a lot of really stupid stuff to say that didn't make sense at all. But everyone was so restricted and rules were changing literally by the day and even by the hour. Right?Melanie: Yeah.The hospital I gave birth that has since it kind of acknowledged that they took it a little too far. Laboring people shouldn't be alone. Who would have thought?Meagan: Women in labor should not feel deserted. Yeah.Meagan: So some of that was nice to hear but it was just a little too late for my own benefit. The more that all settled with me, and when we had our first baby, we didn't know down the road if we wanted more kids. I'm an only child. I love being an only child. So I thought, maybe a family of three is fine. But I remember sitting with my doctor at one of our follow-up appointments, and I just broke down by the whole experience and I was like, "I can't do that again. Regardless if I want to. I just can't." She was crushed by that. She just couldn't let me Live with that feeling. "If you don't want more kids, great. You don't. You do you. But that, that can't be how we leave you." So she recommended a therapist to me who has become one of the most dearest people in my life. She's also a doula. And all of her therapy practice focuses on birth trauma, infertility, infant loss, and things of that nature. She was a godsend once we decided that we were ready to have a second baby. I don't think I could have done any of the rest without her. So then moving on to my second birth, it took a while to come around to being ready for that. After that first experience, there was a lot of therapy and a lot of trying to recognize that what I went through wasn't my own fault.Meagan: Yes.Melanie: There was nothing. The choices I made and giving in to the epidural, that wasn't a moral failing on my part. Being alone wasn't that I was not deserving of care, it was just the situation of the time. So a lot of that took some time to reckon with. And then as I began, I knew right away that I was going to try for the VBAC.My doctor was, "Yeah, of course. If you want to 100%." She felt because I did labor so well once we finally got things going, she was pretty confident that things might go okay for me the second time. So she was a great support. But once I started looking into a lot of the VBAC literature in the VBAC world, there were so many pockets of it that I really struggled with. Some of the language around how we can prepare was really off-putting to me. It felt like if you know enough and if you do enough, you'll be okay. It just felt really focused on blaming people for whatever went wrong the first time, if you had known more, if you had advocated for yourself more, if you had breathed more or meditated more, things would have gone better. So I really tried to avoid some of that in preparing for my second birth. I was really focused on the things I could control. My doula/therapist/friend really helped me with a lot of that. A lot of what we focused on and preparing for that second baby was focusing on things that would be true regardless of how that birth happened.  I became really into this series of affirmations. That is not my thing. I'm not into that normally, but they became very treasured to me and still kind of are. I really prioritized creating ones for myself that would be true regardless of what happened. It wasn't about birthing my baby vaginally because that might not happen. I knew that going in. It was more about acknowledging that my body is strong and capable. That's true regardless of what happens. So those sort of sentiments really echoed through my whole pregnancy and leading up to the birth. For the most part, I had a pretty uneventful pregnancy except for the fact that in my 20-week anatomy scan ultrasound, they discovered that my placenta was low. It was partially covering my cervix. My doctor was great. She was like, "Yeah, don't worry about it. It'll move. We're not going to worry about that until we have to. That often happens. We're not going to let that slow us down right now".So that was fine. And then later in my third trimester, I was measuring gigantic. I'm a very small person. I'm barely 5 feet. I'm petite, and I grow big babies. I was measuring quite large. We re-screened for gestational diabetes. I had a weird borderline response. I was doing these funny diet things and trying to get that under control, but I was still measuring pretty large. But again, my doctor wasn't really discouraging about that. "I know people have big babies. The bony pelvis, it moves, don't worry about it." So I still felt pretty good, and I kind of loved the idea of tiny little me having this huge baby. it seemed like I'd be pretty proud of it. But I had to have a follow-up ultrasound to check on the placement of my placenta to see if it had moved enough. And it did. Fortunately, it seemed like it was in the clear. My doctor, who was lovely, indicated that this was not a growth scan. We were just checking the placenta. But of course, the maternal-fetal unit loved to check the size of that baby. So of course, he was huge. They were trying to really say, "Are you sure you still want to do this? Because he's going to be quite a large boy and all that." I mostly tuned that out. I was like, "Yeah, I know. No big deal. I know I can't do anything about that. That's not within my control at this point. I'm 32 weeks pregnant." We carried on as normal. At this point, I was going crazy. I was walking so much. I was seeing the chiropractor. I was doing prenatal yoga. I was curb-stepping everywhere. I lost my mind a little bit in terms of all the preparation I was trying to do trying to get everything right. I became super obsessed with the baby's positioning just knowing positioning had factored into my first birth. I don't think I lied on my right side for months. Basically, I was just really focused on trying to keep things where they should be. Get that baby low and in the right angle. It became a bit of an obsession, but also the thing I'd look back on in a really positive way. I got really good at feeling where he was trying to pick out a spine and what way he was facing. And in retrospect, it made me feel a lot closer to him than I had with my daughter in some ways when I was pregnant. I became very in tune to his movements.Meagan: Yeah.Melanie: So I look back on that and I'm thankful. But yeah. So things were fine. I was growing a big baby, but all seemed well. I felt like I had a great team who supported me and were progressing the way we wanted to. We kind of expected this baby would also be "late" just given my first was. So we kind of prepared for that. We talked about the ways we could induce if needed or how long I wanted to wait until an induction.At the hospital near me, it is standard of practice to be automatically booked for an induction one week past your due date. You get that letter in the mail regardless of whether you want it or not. So as my due date approached, I got that letter. I called my doctor. She canceled that. That was not our plan. We were going to wait and see. So she was great in terms of letting me make the call, I'll say. But at a week past, or I guess just a little over, I did have to have a biophysical. That was the condition which for me turning down the induction was to have the biophysical. And again, my doctor was great. She gave me the heads up that like, "It's pretty easy to fail these and you're 41+ weeks over too." So she was advocating for me that we were not going to jump the gun here. But it was the requirement of their unit to have that. So I went in for my biophysical at 41 and change. I can't remember the exact day. And lo and behold, we failed. I think we had a 6 out of 10. His heart rate didn't do the right things in the right order or whatever the scoring is. I can't recall. And he also didn't score for the seeing the breathing movements. I knew just from my own reading that a score of 6 was a gray area. I wasn't too worried about it. But the staff in the maternal field was like "Oh, well, you're having this baby today." I was like, "Well, no, I'm not. This is not my plan." I know they see the worst cases. That is their space, but I already had the conversation with my doctor so I felt pretty well-informed. I knew that I was not ready yet. I also knew that my doctor was on call that day.So I did go up to labor and delivery which is what they had recommended. She did another biophysical up there and then did a third non-stress test. I also failed the second biophysical but the non-stress test turned out okay. We needed some time, a bit of a walk, some water, and things seemed okay. So I went home and waited for another couple of days. At this point we were, we were really cooking. We were looking at 42 weeks. I did agree to have the induction on a Thursday. I was disappointed that we were going to have to have the induction. I forgot to mention this. I wasn't followed by an obstetrician during my pregnancy. I was with a family practice group. We don't have midwives in the area where I live, but we do have a family practice group who have delivery privileges but they can't perform Cesareans, obviously. So I was followed by this lovely GP who would have delivered had my babies been born vaginally. Because I had to transfer temporarily to the obstetrics unit for the induction, I knew I was going to  encounter some more pushback than I had faced to date with my current doctor because she was so lovely and supportive. I went in and prepared for that. And the OB on that day of my induction was quite-- I don't know how to put it politely. He was very blunt. I don't think he thought I was an overly smart person to be looking at 42 weeks still insisting on trying to have this very large baby vaginally. But to his credit, he respected my autonomy and was like, "Yeah, sure, we'll give it a shot. I think it's the wrong call, but it's your call to make." So I have a love/hate relationship with him to some extent. So they did another non-stress test and things looked okay. And then I think he left and a resident came in to start the induction. I was a little dilated, so they were going to try the Foley, which they had initially some trouble getting in. It was the worst pain I've ever been in that didn't compare it all to labor on my first. But that Foley was like, whew. As soon as the resident got it in, all hell broke loose. My husband was by my shoulder and just turned white as a ghost. The resident looks up and she's like, "I think that's a little more blood than we would expect." Meanwhile, I can just see it pouring onto her shoes. I'm just hemorrhaging. Meagan: Whoa. Melanie: I'm hemorrhaging. So she runs out. There's a nurse there trying to mop things up and I'm still holding whatever sort of contraption they used to hold the Foley in. The OB comes in with an ultrasound machine. They're, of course, fearing my placenta is beginning to rupture or whatever. So he's checking the ultrasound. The heart rate monitors plummet. The baby's heart rate drops into the 60s. The room fills with people and I'm petrified. I'm just shocked. The OB's trying to move me and trying to get the Foley out. It felt like an hour. I'm sure it was only a minute that the heart rate recovered, but the decision is made like, "We're going to the OR." They didn't know what the source of the bleeding was. I was still hemorrhaging. I asked the OB like, "Can I just talk to my husband for a minute?" And he said "No, we don't have time. We're going."So we go to the OR and it was really quick. It was so much faster than my first birth. I don't even think the terror really caught on to me until later when they finally gave me the baby and the OB ensured me, "Oh yeah, no. He wasn't without oxygen for any extent. He checked out okay. He's fine." And I'm not sure it hit me that that was ever in doubt that it could have gone a way that he wouldn't have been fine. So it was a lot. It was a lot. To say it wasn't what we were expected would be an understatement. To say I didn't get my VBAC was an understatement because it just became a conversation of so many greater things. Fortunately, my doctor happened to be in the hospital, and she took care of us. We only stayed there for a day. Fortunately, that was the main thing on my birth plan that regardless of what happened, to get me out of the hospital as quickly as possible. So we were released the next day. The baby was fine, and I was fine. We were all healthy. There was no great source of the bleeding outside of that they suspected that my placenta was still a little too low compared to how it showed on the scans from in my third trimester. So when they inserted the Foley, things shifted enough that it tore a teensy bit or something, and hence the blood, but not enough to cause damage to me or my son. But that, the proximity of my placenta to my cervix wasn't quite clear on that ultrasound in my third trimester. So, yeah, that's my birth story.Meagan: Oh my gosh. Oh, my gosh. You know, birth sometimes can unfold in those really wonky, unexpected ways. And like, I have questions too. Like, could they have torn your cervix from placing the Foley? Could the Foley have nicked your placenta if it was too low inside? Right? There are all of these questions, and we tend to go that way, wanting to know the answers, but sometimes we just don't know the answer. We've talked about this a long time ago in our radical acceptance. Julie and I did a radical acceptance episode, which if you haven't checked that episode our, I really highly suggest listeners check it out because sometimes there is not an answer. The answer is unknown and it will remain unknown. Sometimes not knowing the answer can consume us, and it can leave the trauma, the doubt, the fear, and all the feelings that come with. Sometimes that means we have to let it go. We're not getting the answer. We just not getting the answer. Letting it go helps us grow, helps us heal, helps us move on to that next stage.And when I say move on, I don't mean just ignore it, wipe it out, or it never happened. It's accepting that it happened. Accept that where we were then is where we were. We made the decisions we made with the information that we were given, and now we're moving on. You did the best thing you could do for your baby by saying, like, "Okay, yeah." And like you said, it didn't even happen or occur to you until later that, "Wait, my baby couldn't have been okay?" I'm sure that sat really heavily.Melanie: Oh, my gosh. Yeah, hugely. Right? It was. It all happened so quickly. There was so much blood. Again, you're on your back. You can't really see well, but when you see it just as when the resident leaves the room, and t's on her shoes. I'm not okay. There's a problem there right now, right? Yeah. And, you know, my son was big. He was 9 pounds, 15 ounces. I don't think his size had anything to do with this part of the conversation, but in my mind, I think I've somehow accepted that I think he was going to be born via Cesarean regardless of what happened in my first birth. My placenta was low right from the start. That was a known thing that I was going to deal with, C-section or not. I know there's obviously some evidence to show that the way placenta can attach can be influenced by previous C-section scars, of course. But, I think that's how I've been able to make peace with a lot of that. It was just always going to be this way for him. I don't know. Because I was empowered through some of the decisions I made, and because I felt genuinely supported by the people around me, except for maybe that kind of cranky OB besides him, it's much easier to come to terms with what happened. And in a lot of ways, even though, my second birth is the much scarier of the two situations, I don't have nearly as much trauma associated with it. It was a crappy birth. I'll be frank about it. But it is what it is. It was scary, but it's not what keeps me up at night sometimes still, like that first birth where I felt disempowered and disenfranchised and ignored and neglected. That is the lasting problem. While I've done a lot to overcome that, I think it just goes to show how we treat people in these moments can really have a lasting impact. It's not just about the physical pain, the physical trauma, and the health emergencies that cause trauma. It can be a lot of the emotional harm as well.Meagan: I love that you pointed that out and you mentioned this along the way with some of your prep you're like, "I am not the affirmation type. It's not my thing. I don't connect to it." But you did. I think affirmations are so powerful whether or not you are an affirmation person or not. I really think having those on your side can be impactful. Like you said, you're like, "I still kind of like, hold on to them and cherish them today."Melanie: I really do. I have a list of them on my notes app on my phone. They're the same ones. They were the ones I wrote when I was pregnant with my second baby. Sometimes when I'm having a bit of a bad day or when you see another one of those photos, like the people you referenced earlier who don't associate with the VBAC groups anymore, they don't see themselves every now and then, when a photo of a super strong, awesome person with their fist up in the air celebrating their VBAC. Some of those will just hit me the wrong way one day. I'll go back to those affirmations and remind myself that my body is strong and accomplished and whatever I need to hear that day. They do have a long-lasting impact. Another one that got me through a lot was, "I'm strong enough to face what comes." Whatever that is.Meagan: Strong enough to face what comes. I love that. Yeah.Melanie: Yeah, it's been a bit of a journey. My kids are 4 and 2 now. We're not sure if we're done.Meagan: Yeah.Melanie: But despite all of these experiences, I would still 100% go for another VBAC.Meagan: Yeah.So I was going to ask you that too. Do you feel at this point that you would rather just do Cesareans? Would you have said, "Looking back, I just wish I would have scheduled it at 40 weeks, or are you feeling pretty content and empowered with the choices that you made?"Melanie: That's a great question. I think about it a lot. I'm fairly positive I wouldn't have just scheduled the C-section. And partially because despite being alone for part of my labor with my first birth, I kind of loved labor. Before I got the epidural, I have never felt so strong and so awesome in my whole entire life. I was like, "I am woman. Hear me roar." Maybe that is just in retrospect, but I also have a couple of selfies from those few hours. I'm enjoying a lot of it. So when I was preparing for my second birth even knowing that maybe this will end up in a C-section, I kept thinking, "Oh, well, at least I'll get to labor again. I'll have that. That would be great." And I didn't. I didn't get any of that. I'm not turned away from that. I'd be very much open to trying again. I think if we were to have another, I would not do all the things I became so obsessed with making sure I was getting 12,000 steps or whatever it was, and the curb-walking and the squats. I did so many squats, and I ate so many dates. I would just let go of a lot of that because I think a lot of that was the pressure of, "You need to do everything you can to get this right." And I don't have that pressure on me anymore. Maybe because I'm older than I was then, or because I was maybe foolish. I think I know a little more, but I think I would just. Let's just try. Let's see what happens.Melanie: Yeah.Meagan: You know, I want to talk a little bit about that. You talked about how you did things that you could control, but then you also focused on how you went down that path of-- I call it obsession. The path of obsession.Melanie: It was.Meagan: I was once on the path of obsession as well with my second, my second that I wanted to VBAC that went Cesarean. I ate the dates. I drank the tea. I did all the things too, and then it didn't unfold exactly how I wanted it. I don't think the things that I did or the things that I didn't do, as far as the prep goes, really impacted as much as I didn't choose the right provider. But with my second, I let go of some of the things, but then hyper-obsessed with some of the other things. I didn't sit on a couch for nine months. I sat in a car really, really straight up paying attention to my sway back and my pelvis.But I did the things that I could control that felt right for me. I went to a chiropractor. That made me feel better. I was like, "All I can do is go and hope for the best. Right?" I drank my tea. I let go of the dates. I couldn't eat another date for a very long time. I do now. I actually add them to oatmeal and things, but I couldn't even stomach a date. There were things that I did and I didn't do. So try not to go down the path of obsession because I think sometimes it takes away from our pregnancy. Do all the things that you can do within your control that feel right. So eat well. Hydrate well. Get a good prenatal. Process your birth. Process your past birth. Know what you want. Hire a doula if you want to doula. Find your right supportive provider. But also, if it's too much and you need to be like, "You know what? I'm going to do what I can over here, and I'm just going to let it unfold over here," I don't think there's any shame in that. I don't think anyone should be like, "Well, but you're not doing x, y, z." Yeah, I'm not because right now it doesn't feel right. It doesn't feel right. Melanie: That's exactly right. I think I was just so afraid if my birth didn't go well, if I would think that, "Oh, there's something else I could have tried." That was, I think, my mindset in preparing for that second birth. But I'm glad you mentioned the feeling right because I did actually give up the acupuncture at 40 weeks because I hated it. I hated going. I didn't like the way it made me feel. It made me groggy. I felt like I was sleepwalking.Meagan: Not right.Melanie: Not right, but yes, letting that go. But again,  initially, I felt guilty for it. Almost like I'm not doing everything I could. But sometimes we need to let that go if it doesn't feel right for us.Meagan: Yeah, I agree.So really quickly, to wrap this up, we asked for a secret lesson, and then we asked for your tips. I wanted to read what you wrote. When I said, "What is a secret lesson or something no one really talks about that you wish that you would have known ahead of time when preparing for birth?" Your answer was, "Birth stays with you forever. It's not something you just move on from." Like we were just saying, it isn't. It's not just something that you move on from and you forget about it. It's just gone. It's not. It really does stick with you, and it can impact future births. So know that that's a thing, and you need to work through that if you have trauma. She says, "My first birth was nearly five years ago, and the trauma still barrels over her." Likewise, the pride that you feel and how you advocated for yourself during your second birth continuously gives you strength. So I love that secret lesson. I think it's very empowering.And then when I asked, "What is your best tip for someone preparing for VBAC?" There's a lot here, and I'm just going to read exactly what you wrote because so it's all so good. And you also kind of talked about it within your story, but I just wanted to write what you wrote. It says, "Preparing for a baby and birth is a mental, emotional and cognitive journey, not just physical. I did so much work with the support of a wonderful doctor, doula, therapist and partner that all helped me cope with this birth. I did chiropractic care, pelvic floor PT, acupuncture, yoga, massage, but it was the mental work and preparation that I did that really made the difference." And then you said, "If someone is into affirmations, find or create some that will be true regardless of whatever happens." Again, pointing out what you said earlier. I think it's important to note. Women of Strength, you can prep. You could do everything, and sometimes when I think we do everything and then they don't unfold exactly how we think, "We did everything. And it sucked. It failed me." It's not true. You did everything that felt right for you, and you have to embrace that and congratulate yourself for that and say, "I did what I could." But I love that you talked about the affirmations that can stay true. I love that so much. Your body is strong. No matter how you birth your baby, your body is strong. So, there's something that you did through therapy and healing that I would love to talk on before we go. Is there any way you could dive into that a little bit?Melanie: Yeah, sure. So it's a practice called birth story medicine. I'm not an expert in it by any means, but it is the train of schooling that my therapist, who's also a doula, specializes in with birthing people who have birth trauma. It's really a part of a birth story. Listening. So having someone reciprocate in the dialogue of your birth story, really similar to what goes on in this podcast in a lot of ways, where you are being heard when you tell your birth story. But through that process, over months and months of the telling and retelling of my birth story, particularly that first birth, my therapist was able to really help me get to a place of re-seeing it. That's when I began to re-see my role in that. It really centers around this idea that through discussion and through sharing, that can be the medicine we need to heal emotionally. So it's again, not always about those physical scars we're left with, but emotionally what we carry and giving value to those, having those be heard in a space where they're not often heard. When we go into a hospital or a birth center, we don't always create space or are not always given the space to have those feelings and that trauma heard. That birth story medicine approach really helped me re-see my experience for my first birth.I love that you talk about this. We actually have something similar in our VBAC course when it comes to mental and physical prep because I think that's honestly where our course starts as mental and physical prep. I truly believe that's where this journey starts. But I talk about the senses. So when we are processing our birth or going through this birth medicine journey, I suggest doing things where you write your birth story. Physically write it. Read it, so you're seeing it. So you're physically doing the action. Now you're seeing it and you're reading it. Okay? Read it out loud to someone so you're hearing it being said and someone else is hearing it. Receive validation. Okay?Really walk through those five senses because I truly believe that it helps you heal. But hearing it, seeing it, writing it, being validated. I guess it's not even the five senses. We can't smell our birth, but we talk about that like taking yourself back, putting yourself in that feeling, hearing those sounds, smelling the smells and processing those is so empowering. It's a little different, but kind of similar. I love it. I love that so much. Is it birth medicine? Is that what you're calling it?Melanie: Birth story medicine. I can't remember the woman who wrote the book quite literally, but I recommend everyone check it out.Meagan: We're going to find it, and put it in the show notes. Birth story medicine. Here we go.Okay, really quickly before we go, will you give us two or three affirmations that really stuck with you if you have them? If not, no worries.Melanie: Oh, sure. I still do. So one that I don't hold on to as much now, but it was really important to me leading up to that second birth, especially given my first was, "I am not responsible for starting labor when it starts." I tried, but I had to remind myself, "I am not responsible for starting labor." Another one was, "My baby will be born. I will birth my baby."Meagan: Yes.Melanie: However that happens, I will birth my baby. The final one may be that again, I think because of the trauma I had from my first birth during the pandemic was, "I am not alone. My baby is with me."Meagan: Love those so much.Melanie: Oh no, I'm very emotional.Meagan: I'm sorry. I did not mean to make you emotional, but I really thank you so much for all of those and for your words. I am so happy that you were able to come through on the other side of this experience with the mindset that you have. I know it's not easy. I know it hasn't been easy. The journey is really a journey and like you said, it sticks with you forever. I will never forget all three of my births.As of the day of this very recording, my daughter turned 13 yesterday. My first C-section was 13 years ago yesterday. Let me tell you, I reflected deeply. I had a lot of emotions. I cried. I smiled. I had so many feelings that it, literally makes me emotional thinking about it right now. But you guys, I was amazing back then. I didn't fail. I didn't fail. I think that's just so important that we know that no matter how our baby is born, we are going to be with our baby. Our babies will be with us, and we didn't fail. We did the best we could, and you were incredible.Melanie: Thanks, Meagan. You too. ClosingWould you like to be a guest on the podcast? Tell us about your experience at thevbaclink.com/share. For more information on all things VBAC including online and in-person VBAC classes, The VBAC Link blog, and Meagan's bio, head over to thevbaclink.com. Congratulations on starting your journey of learning and discovery with The VBAC Link.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-vbac-link/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands