Wellness Podcast

This week's episode is NOT to listen to around children! The episode starts with a story about my children and Santa/the Easter Bunny/Tooth Fairy etc., which led my child to say, "well I guess there is sort of still magic in the world?" To which I said, of course there is! In this episode, I give some of my own examples of magic in the world, a definition of magic and also of awe and wonder (from Brene Brown's book Atlas of the Heart), and talk about how we can find magic/awe/wonder or whatever we want to call it in our everyday lives, in nature, art, music, spiritual experiences or ideas (or for me, watching my kiddo make insane K'nex creations) :). Action item: note all the magic you can find in the world this week. Last week until fall, have a great summer everyone and thank you for listening!

In this week's episode, I give my 4 favorite pieces of advice from previous episodes on how to make it through a particularly busy/stressful/transitional period. If you are not a teacher or student, this advice can help for any busy or transitional period in your life, but for me, it's the end of the spring semester and summer break is almost here. 1) Quit what and where you can, from episode 76 on quitting, 2) Make time and space for transitions (and the emotions that come with them), from week 35, 3) Do your best and then call it good enough (no perfectionism here) from week 108, and 4) Go back to the beginning (week 20), and don't forget exercise/healthy food and sleep! I promise that if you do these things, you will get WAY more done in WAY less time, even and especially when you are busy/overwhelmed/stressed out. See you all next week for my last week before summer break, and thanks for listening!

This epsiode is a continuation of week 145, where I talked about 3 things that ADHD can look liks vs what is actually going on. In this episode, I do the same and talk about 3 more things: ADHD can look like 1) risky behavior/impulsivity, 2) hyperactivity/fidgeting, and 3) forgetfulness. In each of the 3 parts, I give examples from my own life of my experiences with my child and a few things that I do as a teacher to help neurodiverse students. I talk a lot in here about how sometimes we think we "need" to do things a certain way, but actually, we can let go of more than we think we can and just do things a different way that actually works, rather than the way we were brought up or just using what we've already seen in our lives. My action item is to start to see neurodiversity (and all differences, really) as something other than a deficit but something that can teach us about the world and at the same time, can help us to actually make the world a better place for everyone.

In this episode, I define both "numbing" and "real comfort" and give examples of each. I talk about the lessons we can learn from Anne of Green Gables, who felt all her feelings all the time and why that is important to do (at least most of the time). Action item: if you find yourself doing something that doesn't feel right, just pause and think about how you feel and why you are doing the thing. It may not help you to stop, but it might help you just to think about why you are doing the thing and whether it is really helping you or not.

In this episode, I tell a story about past me in graduate school during an interview, feeling bad for the middle aged man who was driving me around in his old minivan. But now, I am that man, and let me tell you, don't feel bad for me! I talk in this episode about how middle age is not the worst time, and for me, the time of middle parenting (parenting kids who are school-aged, not toddlers and not teens yet), has been kind of a sweet spot. The action item for this week is a bit open-ended but is to try to think about something you think you already know with beginners mind. It may turn out that you were wrong, need to rethink it, or could benefit from thinking about it from a new angle, whatever it is. Also, fun fact, I learned that women's happiness levels are reported highest in their 70s and 80s, so it's not all downhill from here either!

In this episode, I talk about 4 of my favorite ways to save money. Although this may seem like it's not related to wellness, I still think that spending more money than we plan to spend (or more money than we actually have) can really hurt our mental health, too. So, my 4 ways are 1) use the public library! For books, DVDs, etc. as much as possible 2) Use those memberships! From Costco to the YMCA to museum memberships to save money on "fun" activities for your family, memberships (and actually using them) is the way to go! 3) Buy used and fix things instead of buying new things! 4) Find alternative methods of transportation to work (or school) like bike riding, walking, the train, or even carpooling. Action item: Remember that you can save money by still doing things you enjoy, and also, whenever you save money, put that money directly into a savings (or other) account so that you can see your savings grow!

In this episode, I define "hope" using Brene Brown's definition from Atlas of the Heart: Hope is a way of thinking or a cognitive process, not an emotion, that's made up of three components: goals, pathways and agency. I give an example of my own: my goal is to keep promoting what I want to see more of in the world: kindness, compassion, understanding, and strength that is not about having power Over people but about using our power to help each other (also from Brene Brown: Power To/With and Within). My pathways (action items) are in my job, promoting our Spanish club, SALSA, planning events in my department, helping out my students, and at home, helping my kids to learn how to deal with their emotions, how to meditate, etc., by showing them how I do it and teaching them. And for me, agency (the fuel I need to do this work and not burn out) comes to me through all the things I talk about here all the time: dancing in my kitchen and writing in my journal and coffee with friends and meditation and hugging my family and Friday night movie night. Action item: think about where you can help to create more “hope” in the world, through goals/pathways and agency.

In this episode, I talk about how creativity can help us in troubled times, about what creativity is (loosely defined), how it can help us (flow, community/connection, etc.) and give a few examples of some creative things I did this past week! Even if you don't think of yourself as a "creative" person, there are a ton of different creative things you can do (that don't even have to involve "creating" anything permanent- think dancing in your kitchen!). I also talk about Flow, which I define and discuss in more detail in episode 104: How (and why) to "Flow" more in our lives. Action item: Even if you only have a few minutes this week, focus on some creative endeavors this week to help yourself (and the world).

In this episode, I talk about 3 things that ADHD can look like, in my experience from my own child, and what is actually going on. I am not an expert on neurodiversity but have listened to many episodes of the Beautifully Complex podcast that has included many expert interviews, and I'd like to think that I am an expert (at least) on my own child. I hope this episode helps all people who know someone who is neurodiverse (which I imagine is most of us)- much of this applies to autism as well- and to neurodiverse folks as well, who may (or may not) see themselves in my 3 lessons. Briefly 1) ADHD can look like defiance/not listening, 2) ADHD can look like not paying attention and 3) ADHD can look like laziness. And my quote at the end is from Desmond Tutu and was incorrect. Here is the correct version: "There comes a point where we need to stop just pulling people out of the river. We need to go upstream and find out why they're falling in."

This week, I talk about what I did to help me get through what turned out to be a tough week: 1) Dance in the kitchen (or wherever) 2) Limit news (or at least read news that you trust) 3) Do something each week to take care of the world/your community 4) Take care of yourself in any way that you can (take a nap if you need it, a bath, watch funny TV, even sometimes stress eat chocolate and then forgive yourself afterward), 5) Keep a morning pages journal for your feelings and include gratefuls in there each day 6) Meditate if you possibly can 7) Get some strong woman/person fighting energy to get through (in other words, fall apart a little every day if you must but pull yourself up every time). We got this (somehow).

In this episode, I talk about the why and how of making small connections with people in your life every single day. I explain a study that was presented on the Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos, where commuters in Chicago were asked to either talk or not talk with other people on the train on the way to work. And surprisingly, the group who had (even somewhat awkward) conversations on the way to work reported being happier at the end of the day than the no talking group! I give some examples of ways to connect with others, from family to friends to whoever you live with to making random small talk with people (tip: compliment people!). Action item: try to connect with someone in your life each day even for 20 seconds (ideally, a random person you see out in the world) and see how much better you feel!

In this week's episode, I talk about the things I am doing right now that I consider to be my "next right thing." This is from Frozen 2 when Anna is in a literal cold, dark cave, but just picks herself up and starts putting one foot in front of the other to just keep moving and figure out what to do. This is how the world feels to me right now but this advice works in times of sadness (losing someone we love) or just high stress situations as well. Some of the things I am doing right now is 1) checking in on my people (friends, family, even the random guy that works at the breakfast place I frequent), 2) finding ways to help- donating money to causes I care about, giving my time, supporting my faculty and students with information, conversations, etc., 3) limiting my screen and news time, only reading news that I trust 4) leaning into taking care of myself through writing, exercise., etc, 5) "being a butterfly" (they have a very short memory span)- trying to really BE wherever I am and not worrying about the future (or ruminating on the past), and 6) feeling my feelings- crying, or dancing to Don't Stop Believing, or laughing while watching a hilarious TV show, all of it. I hope this helps all, and let's just keep doing the next right thing every single day. We got this (whatever it is).

In this week's episode, I talk about Part 2 of the book How to Break up with your Phone, by Catherine Price. I talk about first checking the data on how long you use your phone each day, to make you understand where you are at to begin, and also coming up with the answer to Guiding Questions including "What do you want to pay attention to?" Some tips include 1) sorting through your apps and putting them into folders so that you can't see each individual app, 2) charging your phone out of your bedroom and keeping your phone out of your bedroom, 3) getting rid of social media apps and just checking social media on your phone's browsers or computer, 4) getting rid of as many notifications as possible. I've only done a few of these but even this has hugely changed my life in the past few weeks. I've relapsed a lot (and brought my phone into the bathroom or "woken up" after checking Facebook for 45 minutes) but I'm getting there. Good luck to you all and I hope this helps!

In this episode, I briefly discuss the first half of the book I read over the break, called How to Break up with Your Phone, by Catherine Price. The first half of this book touches on why to break up with your phone. Some of the reasons include: they increase our anxiety, impulsivity, stress, depression, sleep problems, hurt our memory, focus, ability to think deeply and even our ability to form long term memories. Action item: just come back next week for the HOW part of how to break up with your phone.

In this final episode of 2024, I talk about a new definition of bravery/courage. The one we often think of is "being scared but doing the thing you are scared of anyway". I talk about an alternate definition by Glennon Doyle, that bravery is really "doing the thing that you know is the right thing, even if/when it is hard, even if/when you feel judged by others, even if/when you feel like you are letting others down." I actually think both are true sometimes and it depends on WHY we are or are not doing the thing we are scared of doing. If we are anxious but we need or want to do the thing, then bravery and the right thing IS doing the thing. But if we neither want nor need to do the thing, then bravery can be walking away/quitting the thing (if/when it is physically and psychologically safe for us to do so). Action item: when you are called to do scary things, think about if you need or want to do the thing. If so, do it. If not, maybe consider not doing it.

In this week's episode, I talk about the 4 main benefits of asking for help, from Brene Brown and Dr. Laurie Santos of the Happiness Lab. 1) True friendship involves reciprocal helping (not just one-sided help). 2) Evolutionarily, we were made to help each other, to live in tribes, and if we were alone and did not help others and accept help from others, we died. 3) When we help others, it makes us feel better which means that when we ask others for help, it also makes them feel better. Win/win! 4) asking for help helps avoid burnout and resentment, like the time when I refused to ask my husband to get me some bread when I had no time (last week) and instead just grumbled all week about having no bread. Resentment city. Action item: try to ask for help today or this week!

In this week's episode, I talk about what to do when you feel like you cannot do anything at all, which is really just an episode on processing difficult emotions in real time (in this case, right after the 2024 presidential election in the US). I talk about using creativity, completing your stress cycle (hugs, laughter, crying, exercise), being with our people and checking up on them/showing up for them, listening to my "smart women" as I like to call them (Dr. Brene Brown, Glennon Doyle, Dr. Laurie Santos and Anne Lamott) and giving ourselves a break when we just can't get anything done. Also, feeling our feelings instead of just burying them in work or alcohol or Tetris or chocolate or whatever. I also have a disclaimer that if you ever need more help, please stop listening to me and seek professional help since I am a linguist by trade, not a psychiatrist or therapist or social worker. Hang in there, everyone.

In this week's episode, I talk about the 4 ways that I have found have worked for me in terms of loving my job over 20+ years (though this works for all jobs, not just ones we've had for years). 1) Never stop learning, 2) change, grow and tailor your job to what you love, 3) have multiple parts/components to your job (and think of them as such) and 4) having freedom of thought. Action item: think of the 4 components to loving a job and determine if a job you currently have can benefit from a change in your actions or a change in your attitude. Mentioned in this episode: Adam Grant's book: Think Again: The Power of Knowing what you Don't Know.

In this episode, I talk about some of the things I did this week to take care of myself after the worst week ever. Oh I forgot to mention in the episode that tonight (Friday, the day I am recording) is Friday night Movie Night and we are watching Coco! I talk about the difference between moving through our emotions in a healing way rather than numbing them, and my action item is to think about some of the ways that you can help yourself to feel better without numbing your feelings. My favorite examples are bike riding (or anything outside), laughing so hard it hurts, dancing in my kitchen and a hot bath with Epsom salt. Also, I know I am not the only one who has ever had the worst week ever, and now you know that you are not either.

In this episode, I talk about the idea that we don't need to have just one friend (or partner, or parent, or child, or whatever) who is all things to us. Instead, we can diversify and have work friends, and friends from our childhoods, and friends who are the parents of our kids' friends. We can have friends who love bike riding and friends who love going to the movies and we don't have to force the bike riding friend to go to the movies or vice versa. We can have friends who are young and old and even our partners who hate coffee don't have to come on coffee runs with us if they don't want to, and that can be good for all parties, too. Action item: think about the friendships in your life and how you can play to the strengths of each one, rather than expecting one or two people to do everything to make you happy.

In this week's episode, I talk about my top 5 favorite study tips! If you aren't a student but just having a busy week, these can be useful for you as well. 1) Consider spaced rather than massed studying (spread out your studying rather than studying all at once) 2) Plan out your breaks 3) Eat healthy 4) Exercise (and don't beat yourself up if it's like 10 minutes a day) and 5) Study smarter, not harder! Listen for my tips and the app I was talking about where you grow trees is called the Forest app! Happy studying!

In this episode, I talk about how there are actually 3 components of real self-care, not just pedicures and baths. 1) solitary self-care (like pedicures and baths) but keeping in mind what actually helps YOU personally, not what you think you "should" be doing. 2) Social activities and volunteering (even in your own job) and keeping in mind that people generally like us more than we think they do (from the Happiness Lab by Dr. Laurie Santos) 3) setting boundaries and not doing things unless they are something you have to do, you want to do or you want to do to help someone you love. (This third one relates to capitalism and hustle culture, see We Can Do Hard Things for details) and 4) Coming up with a reasonable to do's list each week and where relevant, discussing it with a partner, roommate, your parents, etc. And remembering that your value is not determined by how much you do/check off your list each week! I forgot to mention the action item but it is: Write down 1 thing from parts 1, 2 and 3 that you can (or cannot) do this week, and work on your 2 do's list with a partner, roommate, or just your own list for yourself, keeping in mind what is possible and appreciating that you will never (ever) get "everything" done!

In this week's episode, I talk about The Book of Delights and The Book of (More) Delights by Ross Gay, and the practice of searching for delights each day in our lives. I also over-use the word "delight" many, many times, for which I do not apologize (OK maybe a little bit). I define delights (anything that brings us joy or pleasure), and give some examples of my own delights including many apple and peach related things, and many neighbor/community-related things. Delight "rules": when one finds a delight, one must pause, thrust one's finger up in the air and happily exclaim, "De-light". Action item: take a few times this week to pause and find delights in your own life. Write them down if you like, but even just pausing to mention them to yourself or others can make you feel much better.

In this episode, I talk about healthy ways to express our anger, from a book I recently read called Raising Good Humans by Hunter Clarke-Fields. This book explains that anger is an energy that moves through us, and we have to express it but in healthier, less destructive ways. The 5 ways I talk about, from Raising Good Humans, are 1) walk away 2) talk yourself down 3) shake it out 4) strike a pose and 5) breathe! Action item: the next time you are angry, pick one of the above and practice it. The Brene Brown book I mention in this episode is called Atlas of the Heart. Also, the Complete the Stress Cycle episode is from Week 12.

In this episode, I talk about my family's weekly tradition of Friday night movie night. I explain what we do and how it helps me to stay grounded and feel safe even in this crazy world we are living in these days. Action item: find an activity that can be YOUR Friday night movie night, with the following characteristics: 1) tradition/stability (something you do routinely at the same time/day etc. each week) and 2) bonding/community/connection (ie preferably something you do with other people). For extra credit, it can also involve 3) sharing/turn taking (switch off hosting a dinner, or whose house you go to, where you walk, etc.). I've noticed that I keep coming back to traditions on this podcast, and I really think they are important to help us feel stable, safe and well in the increasingly stressful, on the go, anxiety-filled world in which we live.

In this week's episode, I talk about a book I read over sabbatical, called The Power of Fun: How to Feel Alive Again, by Catherine Price. I define "fun" using Catherine Price's definition of playful, connected flow, give some examples of events in my life that were "so fun", and of some of my own "fun magnets" (family, friends, adventure, being outdoors, learning new things). The action item for this week is to make your own list of things that have been "so fun" in your own life, making your own list of "fun magnets" and then finding ways to easily add more true fun to your life and forget about things that OTHER people think are fun that you do not (I am NOT going to attend more parties this year)!

In this episode, I talk about the 3 things I did over my sabbatical that were not work and how we can apply them to our everyday lives! First, I got through a backlog of a ton of non-work to do's in my life (painting, getting a new air conditioner and furnace installed, etc.)- what you can do in everyday life is Power Hour! From the author Gretchen Rubin. The second thing was do more of what you love and less of what you hate. This is easier said than done but also can easily be done in small segments- go out and do that thing you've been wanting to do forever, and do it now! It will be worth it, I promise! The third thing was to REST but in ways that were restful to me, not watching TV or sleeping but painting and going for walks with my neighbor and gardening, for example. I realized that rest doesn't just mean sleep, but means stepping away physically and mentally from work and doing something that makes you feel refreshed, calm and not burned out!

Welcome back everyone! I'm back from sabbatical and here to talk about enjoying the little things in life. In this episode, I talk about my summer and how I (finally!) got the chance to enjoy the summer, for the first time since I was a kid. My kids and I partly used this list from Generation Wild: https://www.generationwild.com/the-list but also just made up our own fun things to do. Often cheap or free (like going to the pool or the library or riding bikes or picking apples from our tree), we just enjoyed the small things near and far, and this week, I want you all to try to do this as well! You don't need to make a list or even cross things off the list, the action item is simply: take a minute to enjoy something this week. You can write it down in a gratitude journal, or not. Today, I made friends with a random neighborhood cat and enjoyed some freshly brewed tea NOT from a microwave. Until next week!

In this episode, I talk about why it is important to say no (particularly at this time of year, when the holidays are upon us, as well as finals/end of the semester if you are in the academic or teaching world). I talk about Brene Brown's phrase, "clear is kind, unclear is unkind" and how we think that saying yes when we mean no (or just don't have time) is kind when really the opposite is true. If you know you are going to say no later, just say no now, it is better for you AND the person you are saying no to! I also mention the idea of future you (from both Glennon Doyle and Dr. Laurie Santos from the Happiness Lab), that when you are saying yes, think of future you as the same as current you- that is, not way smarter, faster at working, with a ton more energy- and if you wouldn't say yes to the thing today, don't say yes to it next week or next year! Action item: go through your schedule for the week and if there is something you know you can't do, say no now rather than waiting for later! Finally, I am going on sabbatical next spring, so this will be my last episode until Fall 2024 when I have students again!

In this episode, I talk about activity pairing, one of my favorite tricks for sticking to my habits. This comes from James Clear's book, Atomic Habits, and the idea is to pair two activities together to form a habit of doing them together. These can be one activity you love with one you don't love so much (ex: washing dishes with listening to your favorite podcasts) or an activity you already do every day with one you want to do (pushing the button on the coffee machine right before starting to meditate so that you get hot coffee as soon as you are done). I talk about why it is so important to do this, a possible down side, and my action item is to think of at least 2 activities that you can pair together and try it out! I also talk about Gretchen Rubin's book, Better than Before.

In this week's episode, I talk about triggers, or emotional responses to an object, person or memory that are more severe than what the event itself would call for. These can be due to events that have happened recently or past events that we need to work through but the key is that our response does not match the level of the original event (a 3 event calls for a 3 response- aw man, not a 10 response-yelling and swearing). Since our families often trigger us, I think right before the holidays is a great time to understand and learn how to dissolve triggers! Ex: when my kids don't listen to my husband, he gets more and more upset and yells (a maybe 2 event and a 8 or 9 response, let's say). Action item: To dissolve our emotional responses when triggered, we need to just take a breath between the event/trigger and our response. Meditating (and therapy) have helped me with this. Good luck with the holidays and we'll be back after next week! Take Deep Breaths!

In this episode, I give us all a 5-minute break! We sit up straight (but not too tensely) in our chairs, take deep breaths, tense all our muscles and let them go, hug ourselves, put our hand on our heart, do gratefuls, and then I let you go to either 1) watch a short funny tik tok video (or whatever video) 2) listen to a song and dance 3) chat with someone near you for 2 minutes. Have a great day and I hope this helps you all to take a short break today-it helped me!

In this episode, I define restorative rest as something that, when we finish doing it, we feel like ah, that was nice, rather than, oh man, why did I do that? I give examples of restorative rest (yoga, meditating, going for a walk/run around the block, making tea and texting a friend, listening to or dancing to a song, 10-minute nap, etc.) and explain that we can use the time in our day that we already use doing things that do not make us feel good to find time to rest each day. Action item: go back to week 2, list of things that make you feel better, and write/edit your list to find things that you can do instead of checking social media, bored eating or other activities that do not feel restful to you when you need a break during the day. With 5 minutes at a time, we can remember that what we do each day is what we do with our lives.

In this episode, I talk about the one thing that has really helped me to feel better on a daily basis. When I remember to do this thing, I notice it in my digestion, in my attitude, in my level of tiredness, and when I forget, I notice that I am sometimes even nauseous, more tired, even dizzy (especially in the summer). This thing is-you guessed it (or maybe you didn't)- drinking water! Here is the website I used (and also a general Google Search and my own life experience) for this epsiode: https://www.mayoclinichealthsystem.org/hometown-health/speaking-of-health/water-essential-to-your-body. Action item: listen for tips and tricks to drink more water throughout the day to feel better and be more healthy!

In this episode, I talk about when we need to let things go (control or also other people's emotions that don't have to do with us) versus when to fight (meaning take action or DO something about our emotions or thoughts. I talk about how meditation has helped me to be able to make a conscious choice about when I take action versus let the emotion or thought pass, and how a lot or maybe even most of the time, the best course of action is to just look at our own or others emotions and let them go. It also helps me to realize when I need to do something, like change a rule in my house, talk to my partner about an issue to resolve it, or be in fight/flight/freeze mode when walking to my car at night (whether I really need to or not). Action item: try meditating this week, even "imperfectly" for 2 minutes without an app or anything. Just sit quietly and take breaths and think about your breaths, and every time you find yourself feeling a feeling or thinking a thought, look at it as a passing cloud or balloon floating away and think "hm that's interesting." And let it pass you by.

In this episode, I talk about how my kids can leave their ice-cream unfinished and how it is because in our house, we do not tell anyone to stop crying. If that sounds like it can't possibly be right, then listen for the details! Action item: come up with a list of things you can do instead of emotional eating, like drinking a glass of water, going for a walk, making tea or coffee, writing in a journal, doing a bit of yard work, make a crying corner in your house and go there to cry for a bit if you need it, etc. And then do those things first when you are not hungry (or suspect you might not be hungry, if you, like me, cannot always tell the difference) before eating 10 Nutella spoons. Or whatever 10 Nutella spoons is for you.

In this episode, I talk about belonging and also fitting in, based on the definitions from Brene Brown. Fitting in is changing yourself to be who you think people want you to be and belonging is being who you are and feeling like people like you for who you are. Belonging makes you feel better but it also means you won't be for everyone and that's OK too (see Brene Brown and also Mean Girls for reference). Action item: Do a fitting in vs belonging life audit- how much of the time are you trying to fit in vs feeling like you belong. Is there anywhere you can or do feel belonging? Even if you never feel belonging in your life right now, you are not alone and also maybe is there a person who wouldn't laugh about something you love or would also turn out to love that thing too?!

In this episode, I define "adulting" (doing all the things adults have to do every day like laundry and getting to work on time and keeping our jobs, etc.), and talk about 3 reasons why the heck it's so hard! 1) burnout and productivity as a moral judgment (those who do the most things are seen as "good" people whereas those who don't are "lazy") 2) a lack of understanding that it is OK not to know how to do everything or be able to do everything or to ask for help 3) social media telling us that everyone else is better off/happier than us (they aren't!). Action item: give ourselves a literal (coffee/walk/stare out window) break and figurative (forgive yourself when you make a mistake this week) break.

In this episode, I talk about what "catch-up week" is to me (as a professor), about benefits/pitfalls and give an action item. Some benefits: giving people (and ourselves) a little bit of a grace period, having the ability to forgive ourselves and move on, knowing how to catch up when we need to as practice for the "real world" in which we are in fact allowed to delay deadlines and catch up sometimes, feeling like we are significantly "moving the needle" on whatever project we are working on. Some pitfalls: we have to then actually do the catching up and sometimes that is more awful than just doing the thing in 30-minute increments every day, sometimes during "catch-up week" we get sick or talk to our colleagues too much at work or our kids have a random day off and then we just get even more behind. Action item: if you are behind on something, try to schedule yourself an hour/2/3/6, sit your butt in your chair, and move that needle!

In this episode, I talk about the "problem" with empathy, starting by definine compassion, pity, empathy, and sympathy (2 sets of near enemies), using Brene Brown's definitions from her book, Atlas of the Heart. I talk about the 2 different kinds of empathy (cognitive empathy, the "good" kind, and affective empathy, the "bad" kind) and give a practical example of all 4 of these emotions/concepts and how we would ideally use these concepts to help others (and why). Action item: When helping others, especially with emotional issues, try to ground yourself to feel cognitive empathy rather than affective empathy.

In this episode, I talk about three important life lessons that I have learned from bringing up a neurodiverse child. These lessons apply to kids but also to adults, neurodiverse and neurotypical. 1) Emotions are not a side thing, they are THE thing 2) set reasonable expectations for ourselves and others 3) kids (and adults) do well when they can (Ross Greene). If we use these lessons in our lives, we can be a little kinder to those around us and understand ourselves and others better. Action item: think about if these 3 things were true for everyone, how would they affect how you see the world and the people in it, and how could they help you in your life?

In this episode, I talk about the book Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle, by Emily and Amelia Nagoski. First, I explain how stress can build up and how and why we need to complete our stress cycles to avoid holding in all the stress or letting it all out on our families at home! I give concrete examples of ways to complete the stress cycle and an action item: Try to actively work to complete your stress cycle every day this week and see how you feel.

In this episode, I talk about how I got tenure (yay!) and although I am grateful and feel quite a bit relieved, actually my happiness levels are about the same as they were before (and my stress/anxiety). This is good/bad news because it does mean that once you get that (fill in the blank)- house, kid, promotion, job, wedding, etc.- you won't be able to start your "real" life or be happy then. The good news about this is it means that you can and should start taking care of yourself now, so that your baseline level of happiness is high (the other piece of good news I missed is that when awful things happen to us, the same is true! We will bounce back quicker and easier than we thought). I mention all of the things I've talked about before, (gratitude) journals, exercise, meditation, and having multiple methods of taking care of yourself so that if you can't do one or more things for a while (like how I couldn't run/walk/do anything except sit on a couch after surgery this summer), you will still have a few other things to fall back on.

In this episode, I talk about my love of plants and gardening, and how plants can help give you something to take care of, dig in the dirt, give you a little greenery even in a small apartment, and teach us so many lessons about life/death/taking care of things and letting go. Action item: if you can, go out and buy a plant to take care of this week (even for $5 or $7) and start benefitting! Last episode until the end of August, have a great summer, everyone!

In this episode, I talk about my experience with neurodiversity both in my students and my own family, about the Parenting ADHD podcast by Penny Williams which is saving me right now, I define neurodiverse and neurotypical and talk about some of my thoughts about "getting our minds right" (from Penny Williams) about ourselves and others who are neurodiverse. Action item: let's start changing our thoughts about neurodiversity being "bad" and neurotypical brains being "good" and start to think about ways in which we all need to learn more about neurodiversity to make everyone's lives better.

In this episode, I talk about transitions, liminal spaces (basically a fancy word for transitional periods), the past, present and future and how we can get through change, which is one of the few things that is consistent about life (that it always changes). Action item: give yourself time and space for reflection and to recharge during times of transition, to think about the past and future but also ground yourself in the present (through mindfulness/meditation) at the same time. Change is hard but it doesn't have to be scary if we give ourselves time to process it.

In this episode, I talk about nearing the end of the semester (project/whatever) and appreciating that in life, we are constantly going through cycles of being really busy, then resting, and we need to not forget the rest part at the end. This can happen at the end of a semester, but also when you have a big work project or even a baby. Action items: if/when you are going through a busy period, make things easier on yourself as much as you can, by getting rid of social media apps on your phone, scheduling that phone date with your friend for next week, and making a big batch of food to help you save time! And at the same time, plan either general or very specific rewards/down time when your busy cycle ends, to avoid burnout!

In this episode, I talk about my experience with meditating for 50 days in a row, including increased focus and calm, I talk about the reasons I finally started meditating and discuss the book Peak Mind by Dr. Amishi Jha, which explains that 12 minutes 5 days a week of meditating seems to be the key to increased focus. Action item: try to meditate! You can use the free version of the Calm App, Headspace, a You Tube video, or just put on a timer! Start with 3 or 5 or even 1 minute, and remember that you will lose focus and get distracted constantly, and that is OK!

In this episode, I talk about how we need both comfort and discomfort to get us to a better place when it comes to anxiety. I wrote this episode while I was reading 2 books at the same time- The Comfort Book, By Matt Haig, and Anxious Kids, Anxious Parents, by Reid Wilson & Lynn Lyons, and both were giving what seemed like opposite advice. The first was telling me to get over anxiety (and depression) through comfort- enjoying a PB&J, nature, hugs from family/pets etc. The second was telling me that if you don't get out and DO the things you are anxious about (ride in airplanes, go on chairlifts, get on the bus, whatever), you will never become less anxious about it. And, I decided, we need both. We need both the secure base of home AND the challenge/bravery etc. that comes from going out and doing the things we are anxious about. At the same time. Action item: see in what ways you can both make your home more comfortable and encourage yourself to get outside of your comfort zone at the same time!

In this episode, I talk about Flow (from "Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience", by Mihaly Csikszentmihaly), define what Flow is and is not, and give some examples of activities that can induce flow in our lives. I explain that more flow = more happiness, according to positive psychologist Csikszentmihaly. The action item for this week is to find and incorporate more activities that induce flow in your life and/or take activities that you already do to make them more flow-like (get into the sweet spot of being "in the zone") to bring more happiness to your life!

In this episode, I talk about the tools in my own wellness toolbox, I talk about what exactly a wellness toolbox is and about how it can help boost our brain power. Action item: start building/editing your own wellness toolbox and be sure to practice when you "don't need it" so that you know how to use the tools when you really need them! It will sneak up on you!