Marriage Lab

In this episode, we're tackling a subtle but serious issue in marriage: isolation.What happens when your spouse becomes your only source of connection? Spoiler: it doesn't lead to thriving.We talk about:Why consistent, same-gender friendships are crucial—especially for accountability, encouragement, and emotional healthHow couples slowly drift into “island mode” without realizing itThe specific ways isolation often impacts men vs. womenWhy expecting your spouse to meet all your relational needs (outside of Jesus) is too heavy—and how to shift that dynamicIf you've been feeling disconnected or overly dependent on your spouse for all of your emotional or spiritual needs, this episode is your invitation to make a gentle, healthy change.✨ Setting Up Your Summer is your simple guide to creating a summer that's restful, fun, and intentional. Grab it for $27 → [click here] Our Pre-Marriage E-course is like coaching from your couch. What's inside?✅ 6 bite-sized video sessions (30 min each)✅ 50-page workbook to guide real conversations✅ Topics on communication, conflict, intimacy, money & moreDon't just plan your wedding—prepare for your marriage!➡️ Buy the course [clic -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------To learn more about Jenna's HABIT REBOOT, click here: >>> Become a sponor of our shows

Not all breakthroughs come in a flash. In this episode, we talk about the kind of transformation that happens slowly—over months or even years. The kind you don't always see until you look back and realize, we're not where we used to be.We fully believe in sudden miracles. We've seen God move in dramatic ways. But in our own marriage, most of the lasting change has come through showing up when things felt stuck… choosing connection in the face of apathy… and staying present when it would've been easier to pull away.If you're in a season where growth feels slow or invisible, this one's for you.You might be in the middle of a miracle—you just haven't seen the fruit yet.Call to Action: If this episode encouraged you, share it with a friend or tag us on Instagram @zintmarriagelab. And if you're walking through a slow season in your marriage, check out our coaching options at zintsquad.com—we'd love to support you.✨ Setting Up Your Summer is your simple guide to creating a summer that's restful, fun, and intentional. Grab it for $27 → [click here] Our Pre-Marriage E-course is like coaching from your couch. What's inside?✅ 6 bite-sized video sessions (30 min each)✅ 50-page workbook to guide real conversations✅ Topics on communication, conflict, intimacy, money & moreDon't just plan your wedding—prepare for your marriage!➡️ Buy the course [clic -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------To learn more about Jenna's HABIT REBOOT, click here: >>> Become a sponor of our shows

In this episode, we talk about the often-overlooked rhythm of re-entry—what it looks like when one spouse returns from a trip and the home dynamic shifts again. We share how we've learned to treat that adjustment period with extra care, tweak our habits, and give each other grace instead of expecting a seamless snap-back to normal. If you've ever had a rocky re-entry, this one's for you. You just might walk away with a few new habits to try next time one of you heads out on a solo trip. Our Pre-Marriage E-course is like coaching from your couch. What's inside?✅ 6 bite-sized video sessions (30 min each)✅ 50-page workbook to guide real conversations✅ Topics on communication, conflict, intimacy, money & moreDon't just plan your wedding—prepare for your marriage!➡️ Buy the course [clic -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------To learn more about Jenna's HABIT REBOOT, click here: >>> Become a sponor of our shows

Birthdays—love them or dread them, they can be a surprisingly tense topic in marriage.

In this episode, we're tackling the hidden ways we sabotage our own connection in marriage—especially when we expect our spouse to read our minds. No matter what it is, waiting for them to magically meet our unspoken needs is a passive approach that creates distance instead of intimacy. We'll explore why taking the risk to express what we truly need leads to deeper belonging, even when it feels vulnerable. Join us as we break down how to move past the fear of rejection and start building the connection you actually want. Spring Planning Workshop: March 6th @8:30am PSTGrab my $27 Habit Reboot Course to join the workshop. < Click here to buy it > You'll get lifetime access to my seasonal planning workshops!! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------To learn more about Jenna's HABIT REBOOT, click here: >>> Become a sponor of our shows

In this episode, we talk about our respective styles of processing how we are feeling. Aaron is an external processor, needing to externalize what's he's feeling in order to understand it. Jenna is an internal processor, needing time to internally mull over what she's feeling in order to understand it. These two different styles can make conflict unnecessarily difficult unless you know how to work with them. We'll share the growth paths for each to avoid the common pitfalls in relationship.Links from episode:Attachment Styles EpisodeThat's What She Said Tool EpisodeCore Emotion Wheel -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------To learn more about Jenna's HABIT REBOOT, click here: >>> Become a sponor of our shows

In this episode, we continue our conversation about changing how we show up in conflict by focusing on the choice we have in how we respond to our spouse's pain. When your spouse shares hurt, are you holding out your compassion cup, or are you holding out your identity cup? We explore how defensiveness often signals that we're interpreting their pain through the lens of our own identity and fears, rather than listening with genuine compassion. The truth is, we can only find our identity in God, not in how our spouse's emotions reflect on us. Tune in as we discuss how to let go of defensiveness, embrace vulnerability, and choose compassion in the midst of conflict to build a stronger, more loving connection. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------To learn more about Jenna's HABIT REBOOT, click here: >>> Become a sponor of our shows

Most people use Courtroom tactic when in conflict in their marriage or in other relationships. In this episode we unpack why this strategy is ineffective for real transformation. We get stuck "lawyering up" and end up adding pain to the initial incident. In this episode, we talk about where the real power is for transforming your marriage. It's found in the counter-intuitive grace and mercy in the Kingdom and out of the courtroom. Do you really believe The Kingdom Jesus pitched in the sermon on the mount- has the power He claimed? If so- why are we not ditching our worldly attempts at navigating conflict for the upgrade that's available to us! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------To learn more about Jenna's HABIT REBOOT, click here: >>> Become a sponor of our shows

This episode is the third in a series on being triggered. So what do we do when our spouse is triggered? Well, we certainly don't tell them they're triggered. That never helps. Instead we get to offer our own peace and calm as we approach them with curiosity and compassion. And when we know we won't have that available to give, we use the "pause" that we would've agreed to back when we were both in a regulated state.Link to Order of Operation EpisodeDid you know most people give up their Bible Reading plans before February?I made a 15 min video on How-to build one that sticks!< Click to watch & learn > If you know you want to see your Bible Habit thrive in 2025...Become a $9/month supporter of our podcast to join Jenna's group.Click here to join through our < patreon membership> -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------To learn more about Jenna's 2025 Bible Habit, click here: Bible Habit 2025If you're ready to become a member of the $9/mo tier, click here: patreon.com/TheHabitLab >>> Would you consider financially supporting our shows?

Following up the last episode titled, "The Science of 'Triggered'", we talk about what the four most common triggered responses are (Fight, Flight, Freeze & Fawn), what they look like in action and ultimately what growth and healing looks likeDid you know most people give up their Bible Reading plans before February?I made a 15 min video on How-to build one that sticks!< Click to watch & learn > If you know you want to see your Bible Habit thrive in 2025...Become a $9/month supporter of our podcast to join Jenna's group.Click here to join through our < patreon membership> -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------To learn more about Jenna's 2025 Bible Habit, click here: Bible Habit 2025If you're ready to become a member of the $9/mo tier, click here: patreon.com/TheHabitLab >>> Would you consider financially supporting our shows?

"Triggered" has become a buzzword in our culture in recent and it's been commonly used to describe an experience for which someone else is responsible and therefore someone else's responsibility to manage. In this episode, we break down the science of what's happening physiologically when we get triggered and the truth about what we're invited to into when it happens, especially in relationship to our spouses. Our self-awareness around our own triggered states is the first step to treating the people closest to us like Jesus would: in self-controlled, vulnerable love that is not full of connection-breaking self-protection.Did you know most people give up their Bible Reading plans before February?I made a 15 min video on How-to build one that sticks!< Click to watch & learn > If you know you want to see your Bible Habit thrive in 2025...Become a $9/month supporter of our podcast to join Jenna's group.Click here to join through our < patreon membership> To learn more about Jenna's 2025 Bible Habit, click here: Bible Habit 2025If you're ready to become a member of the $9/mo tier, click here: patreon.com/TheHabitLab >>> Would you consider financially supporting our shows?

In this episode we talk about how our connection with Jesus has grown and been shaped over the past year through small, consistent action.How to Build a Bible Habit That Sticks! - VideoCrisis of Faith episode - Marriage LabLinks: Peaceful Christmas Planner Habit Reboot E-Course Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching >>> Would you consider financially supporting our shows?

In this episode we talk about one of the central tenets to experiencing life-long sustainable change both within yourself and within your relationships: learning to engage your inner scientist instead of your judge. The judge is your inner critic focusing on the results, casting judgement and contempt towards who you are based on your behavior. The scientist is your inner curiosity focusing on the variables, looking for creative solutions for the underlying reasons behind your behavior.When we learn to choose curiosity over contempt, we find more solutions, but even better, we learn to engage ourselves and others with the kindness that God gives us that leads to sustainable change (Romans 2:4). Links: Peaceful Christmas Planner Habit Reboot E-Course Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching >>> Would you consider financially supporting our shows?

In this episode we talk over how we intentionally plan for a peaceful holiday season when you both have different ideas about what that means. If you would like an assist in your planning grab a copy of Jenna's Peaceful Christmas PlannerLinks: Peaceful Christmas Planner Habit Reboot E-Course Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching >>> Would you consider financially supporting our shows?

In this episode we discuss how often our logical conversations can turn into emotional ones and what to do when that happens. Refer to our episode: How to stop fighting over stupid stuffFor the Peaceful Christmas Planner, email zintmarriagelab@gmail.com. Get my Habit Reboot E-Course!Links for upcoming courses and coaching options: Habit Reboot E-Course Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching >>> Would you consider financially supporting our shows?

In this episode, we dive deep into the art of sharing pain with vulnerability and compassion. We also address the common challenge of feeling a deficit after sharing and how to turn to the Lord to fill those emotional gaps. This episode is packed with practical exercises and guidance to help you speak your pain effectively while maintaining love and connection in your relationship. Tune in for powerful strategies that can transform how you and your spouse communicate during difficult moments.Previous episode links: 7 Unhelpful Habits About Sharing Pain10 Helpful Habits About Sharing PainCore Emotion WheelGet my Habit Reboot E-Course!Links for upcoming courses and coaching options: Habit Reboot E-Course Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching >>> Would you consider financially supporting our shows?

How many times has conflict in your marriage led to a huge blow up? One person starts off by trying to share their heart and an hour later you're both left with more hurt than where it started? There's a reason this happens. Most of the time it can be found when the order of operation is broken. The order of operation in math states that to find the correct answer to an equation, you must know what order to solve it in. When our conflicts go awry, there was likely a break in the proper order which is as follows: 1. One person is the designated speaker (let's say they are the ones holding the proverbial "talking stick"). They share their pain2. The other person is the designated listener (they are not holding the talking stick). Their sole responsibility is to validate and understand what they speaker is sharing.3. When the speaker feels heard and understood, then and only then should the talking stick be passed. And it must be passed by the speaker, not taken by the listener.In this episode we list the ways we commonly break the order of operation and leave the speaker feeling invalidated or unheard. See if you can recognize where you've broken the order so that you can catch it next time.Links for upcoming courses and coaching options: The Habit Lab Mastery Course Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching >>> Would you consider financially supporting our shows?

In this episode, we interview Jill & Mitch Martin who've been empty nesters for the past 7 years and what connection has looked like for them before and after their kids left the house.Links for upcoming courses and coaching options: The Habit Lab Mastery Course Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching >>> Would you consider financially supporting our shows?

In this episode we talk about the culture shifting power of apologies; offering them freely and frequently. This is different than fawning which is apologizing for anything and everything in an attempt to appease or placate. This also different than admitting guilt or wrongdoing. The kind of freely-given, frequent apologies we're talking about are those that begin with a recognition that my actions affect my spouse. And there are plenty of scenarios in a given day when I miss the mark. Not because I sinned or had ill-intent, but because I'm human. It's an exercise in radical ownership that my actions and words are powerful and even when they are pure-intentioned, they may affect someone in a way they weren't meant to. Offering frequent and freely-given apologies, nurtures empathy and tells your spouse, I care how I affect you.Links for upcoming courses and coaching options: The Habit Lab Mastery Course Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching >>> Would you consider financially supporting our shows?

This episode shares one of the simplest and yet most profound keys to changing the culture in your marriage. Gratitude. Now hear us out! We will share how gratitude provides one of the greatest ROI's in relationships, how we will face internal resistance to it, what it looks like to create practical habits and real life stories of it at work in our marriage.Links for upcoming courses and coaching options: The Habit Lab Mastery Course Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching >>> Would you consider financially supporting our shows?

In this episode, Jenna and Aaron share the secret sauce to seeing change in your marriage. It's simpler than you think. Just more humbling.Links for upcoming courses and coaching options: The Habit Lab Mastery Course Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching >>> Would you consider financially supporting our shows?

In this episode, Jenna and Aaron talk through a conflict they had that morning. This particular one was not a new dynamic in their relationship and had created disconnection many times before. However, this time they successfully paused in dysregulation, intentionally moved towards connection and set some boundaries.Main takeaways:If your buttons are getting pushed, remember, they are your buttons and you are responsible for themIf you are the one unintentionally pushing buttons, it's not your fault that they have those buttons, but choose kindness and stop pushingBoundaries are meant to protect the connection, not just yourself.Pausing when you get highly dysregulated (read: triggered, highly emotional) can keep your conflict from becoming War (war = for there to be peace, only one person can be right or win; conflict = for there to be peace, two people can see it differently)Nurturing fondness for your spouse through intentional gratitude can change your heart and lead to quicker connection when there is conflictLinks for upcoming courses and coaching options: The Habit Lab Mastery Course Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching >>> Would you consider financially supporting our shows?

In this episode we explore the pitfalls of comparing your spouse to others and the negative impact it can have on your relationship. This comparison can create feelings of judgment and inadequacy, leading to a decline in positive affection and increasing resentment. By idealizing other people's spouses, you set unrealistic expectations and can inadvertently foster a sense of longing or even lust for qualities that are not present in your partner. This pattern is dangerous for creating, healing or maintaining connection. The conversation emphasizes the importance of focusing on the positive attributes of your spouse and being mindful of how comparisons can erode the foundation of your relationship.Links for upcoming courses and coaching options: The Habit Lab Mastery Course Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching >>> Would you consider financially supporting our shows?

Can passivity be the silent killer in your marriage? In this episode, Aaron and Jenna get real about their own struggles with passivity, sharing how ignoring, avoiding, or delaying discomfort led to feelings of being stuck. Through candid personal stories, they shed light on how this behavior can evolve into rationalizations and bitterness, affecting everything from relationships to personal growth. Aaron also provides insight into his upcoming online small group for porn recovery, where passivity is a common issue, while Jenna talks about managing her impulsive reactions and learning to take measured, thoughtful actions.Links for upcoming courses and coaching options: The Habit Lab Mastery Course Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching >>> Would you consider financially supporting our shows?

In this episode of Marriage Lab, Aaron and Jenna dive into the realities of maintaining a strong connection in marriage, especially during transitions and busy seasons. They share personal stories and insights on how small, consistent habits can significantly impact a marriage's health. They discuss how even brief disconnects, like those experienced during family trips or shifts in routines, can affect a relationship. The couple emphasizes the importance of being intentional in creating connection points, even if they are as simple as a short morning walk or sitting together outside. They also address common issues such as one partner feeling like they are always the one initiating connection and how to shift perspectives to maintain a proactive and hopeful approach to fostering intimacy. The episode offers practical advice on finding small but meaningful ways to stay connected, advocating for consistency over grand gestures.Links for upcoming courses and coaching options: The Habit Lab Mastery Course Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching >>> Would you consider financially supporting our shows?

In this episode, we talk about our tells around defensiveness. What are the signs that we are becoming defensive as a listener, specifically when our spouse is sharing pain? Here are a few we identify within ourselves:The desire to edit the details of what the other person is sharingInterrupting the speakerJudging the speakers thoughts and/or feelingsFeeling anger (frustration, annoyance)Wanting to explain myselfThese are signs that our defenses our up and our ears and empathy is off. What are you tells around defensiveness?Finally, we talk about what to do with that defensiveness. Explore what you are actually defending to find out what needs attention within yourself!Links for upcoming courses and coaching options: The Habit Lab Mastery Course Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching >>> Would you consider financially supporting our shows?

In this episode our good friends, Jordan and Claire, share with us how they each grew in the ability to care for each others needs despite the fear that their own would never get met. Jenna and I (Aaron), have done a number of Couples Coaching sessions with them in which we witnessed a masterful use of the communication tools in the midst of processing pain and feeling defensiveness.They discuss how to properly validate, have compassion and help the other person feel seen and heard before passing "the talking stick". They also share how they've learned to ride the wave of defensiveness and triggers that inevitably happen when their spouse shares pain involving them.Links for upcoming courses and coaching options: The Habit Lab Mastery Course Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching >>> Would you consider financially supporting our shows?

It's been both our experience of ourselves and of many other marriages that we've coached, that there is one spouse who has a propensity towards Control. We define "control" as one person's attempt at manipulating the outcome through managing another person's actions. In this episode, Jenna talks about how control shows up for her and what is happening on a deeper level, namely with fear. She lays out the growth path for those who are struggling with trying to control their spouse and the pitfalls that line that path. Aaron talks about his experience of being on the other end of control and the growth path for him out of victimhood and the false belief that anyone actually control you.Links for upcoming courses and coaching options: The Habit Lab Mastery Course Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching >>> Would you consider financially supporting our shows?

In this episode the Zints share about 4 ways to move away from "Roommate mode" and back to intimate connection with your spouse. These include:Sharing openly what you're experiencing without blaming (use emotion language and share about yourself, not the other person).Be intentional with your connection time.Express affection: small gestures of affection like holding, hands, hugging or complimenting each otherGet help. Your marriage shouldn't be lived in isolation. Bring others in for perspective, encouragement and even advice.>>> Would you consider financially supporting our shows?

Don't be overwhelmed by your summer! You can balance all that's on your plate- while still hitting your hopes.  Grab Jenna's mini course as your guide to: Set-Up Your Summer In this episode- Jenna & Aaron talk about how you can do the same thing but with a different motivation- and it can shift everything. What is your motivation? Are you telling yourself you are powerless & "have to do XYZ" because of your spouse? That's your sign your feeding resentment.What if you simply switched your self talk & looked at all the ways it was an investment? You'd then be empowering yourself to make a choice to do it vs feeling forced.Choosing your motivation- is a key to maturity. So what's your motivation? Are you doing this out of feeling forced? That'll feed resentment.Are you choosing to do this? That'll feed investment. The choice is yours.Only you can control yourself. >>> Would you consider financially supporting our shows?

Buy Jenna's  mini-course: Setting-up Your Summer.Dr. Gary Chapman's Love Languages concept and consequent books revolutionized our understanding of how we communicate, hear and receive love, especially in marriage. It became a tool we used constantly to better understand ourselves and our spouse. And, we commonly misused this tool as a way to better serve ourselves rather than its original intent: to love others better.This is what we'd call a user error. When the concept of love languages gets weaponized as a measuring stick for how your spouse is failing you, you invite bitterness and resentment in. At the end of our life, we don't give an account for how well our spouse loved us. We give an account for how well WE learned to love. >>> Would you consider financially supporting our shows?

Aaron and Jenna begin a series titled "What I wish I knew" sharing what they wish they'd learned early in marriage. This first part dives into the topic of "urgency." Most conflicts in the early stages of relationships feel urgent. They become very high stakes when they don't need to be. Why? Because it's possible to be connected even when there is no resolution to the problem. This brings us to the scripture from Ephesians 4:26 "...Do not let the sun go down on your anger..." or more commonly stated, "Don't go to bed angry." This scripture has been used as fuel for the sense of urgency, causing many couples to stay up well into the night attempting to hash out their problems. And yet, we're well aware that two sleepy, dysregulated people are not effective communicators. You might ask, "Are you saying that we should go ahead and go to bed angry?" We're saying that going to bed without a solution is not the same thing as going to bed angry. We believe that that scripture is more about not letting resentment and bitterness continue to fester, than it is about feeling an emotion at a certain time of day. It's possible to go to bed not having a solution and to be connected at the same time. Being connected is what pushes out bitterness and resentment and it's not synonymous with having resolution in conflict.>>> Would you consider financially supporting our shows?

Link to online small group interest form: HERELaughter echoes through even our most challenging times, and this episode kicks off with a tale from a men's retreat that'll have you chuckling along with us. But as our conversation turns, we confront the shadows within marriage—specifically, the silent struggle of porn addiction. We open up about the emotional toll this addiction takes on the non-addicted spouse, illustrating the journey through feelings of betrayal to finding a path towards healing and understanding within the relationship.Navigating the murky waters of shame and betrayal requires a delicate touch, and this episode doesn't shy away from the tough discussions. We explore the necessity of validating a hurt partner's feelings and the potential harm in concealing pain. Sharing our perspective, we stress the importance of choosing confidants wisely—those who can offer wisdom and hope—while avoiding the pitfalls of codependency and learning to let go of the illusion of control, allowing for true healing to begin.Wrapping up, we impart strategies for coping with addiction within a marriage, focusing on the need for personal accountability and external support systems rather than relying solely on a partner for recovery. We dissect the complexities of the recovery journey, advocating for realistic expectations and personal peace regardless of a partner's progress. This episode isn't just about sharing our own experiences—it's about offering hope and practical advice for those walking this tough road alongside us.>>> Would you consider financially supporting our shows?

Needing support in walking out of a porn addiction? Join Aaron's Online Small Group which is set up to help men struggling with porn to get connected and begin to bring attention to the areas in their life that makes porn feel like the best and only option.You can also check out Aaron's book, Numb to Known: the surprising path away from porn. In this episode, Aaron talks about how most porn addictions start at a young age and are sustained through adulthood through cycles of isolation, passivity and pain. This episode is mostly geared towards those who don't have a porn addiction themselves but may be in relationship with someone who is.>>> Would you consider financially supporting our shows?

3 Unpopular Opinions About PornYour porn use is not a reflection on your spouse. That is, it's not their faultPorn is not your problem. Porn is the solution you've chosen to the real problemYou and God cannot fix this. It must be you and God and other people. >>> Would you consider financially supporting our shows?

Have you ever said, "We got in a big fight about something so small and stupid!" It happens in every marriage when there is emotional pain behind a "small and stupid" logistical problem. In this episode, Jenna and Aaron reverse engineer their fight about a toothbrusher charger and how something so small and stupid had the potential to create a lot of disconnection but didn't. >>> Would you consider financially supporting our shows?

Do you know what prolongs most conflict? The thing that keeps people stuck in disconnect? The pursuit of fairness.Why? Because it hinders love itself. Jesus didn't model fairness in His life or sacrifice. He modeled sacrificial love. Love, as Jesus modeled it, will transform your marriage. >>> Would you consider financially supporting our shows?

In this episode, our friends Megan and Dalen Philp (not Philips...woops sorry guys) share the hope they found in their marriage of 20 years after they began to deconstruct the gender roles that they'd held onto so inflexibly for so many years. >>> Would you consider financially supporting our shows?

In this episode, we break down 10 helpful beliefs about sharing pain. Get the infographic notes here.>>> Would you consider financially supporting our shows?

Jenna and Aaron share 7 unhelpful beliefs people have (they themselves used to have) about sharing pain with your spouse. Stay tuned for an episode on the helpful beliefs!Here is a review of those 7 unhelpful beliefs:Tell them everything I'm thinkingReveal to them how they hurt meGet them to see how they failed meI can resolve my hurt by hearing an apology/admission of guiltThis is urgent. Don't go to bed angry (two sleepy dysregulated people are horrible communicators)The goal of conflict is to eliminate future pain or to become pain freeIt's a one and done. If we can have this convo long enough we will fix it once and for allPlease rate, review & share the podcast!>>> Would you consider financially supporting our shows? Would you consider financially supporting our shows? Would you consider financially supporting our shows?

In this episode, we interview our friends Anna & Alan Mullikin who share about the breaking of a ten year cycle. We were so encouraged by their story and know that this testimony is for everyone who's felt hopeless in their own cycles of pain and hurt in their marriage.Please rate, review & share the podcast!>>> Would you consider financially supporting our shows? Would you consider financially supporting our shows?

We interviewed our friends Joaquin and Renee Evans pastor a church called Bethel Austin in Austin, Texas. In this episode they share about what it requires of them to co-pastor a large church while staying connected in their marriage and in their family life. They hit on:BoundariesIntentionalitySigns of disconnectionTime to get away just the two of themStaying connected to mentors and peersPlease rate, review & share the podcast!------------------------------------------------------------Join Jenna's life-changing Habit Mastery Course!Registration for next round begins January 3, 2024.------------------------------------------------------------Aaron run's online small groups for men wanting to get connected, pursue growth and walk in sexual wholeness. Check out  his book on the same subject.  Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn.------------------------------------------------------------For more on what the Zints have to offer, check out ZintSquad.com where you can book couples coaching & individual coaching. >>> Would you consider financially supporting our shows? Would you consider financially supporting our shows? Would you consider financially supporting our shows? Would you consider financially supporting our shows?

In a previous episode, we when into depth about no requiring an apology from your spouse when you felt hurt from them but rather focusing on sharing your heart in order to be known. This is one side of the coin for us. And an important one at that. The other side is that due to not requiring apologies from each other, we wind up giving way more genuine apologies than ever before. In this episode, we talk about how the lack of requiring an apology from each other and the grace that accompanies that allows for genuine repentence and a desire to change in order to take better care of each other's heart. Isn't this the basis of Romans 2:4, that His kindness is meant to lead us to repentence and not his anger, guilt or shame? That's what He does for us and we want to be more like Him. This is one of the ways we do that.Please rate, review & share the podcast!------------------------------------------------------------Join Jenna's life-changing Habit Mastery Course!Registration for next round begins January 3, 2024.------------------------------------------------------------Aaron run's online small groups for men wanting to get connected, pursue growth and walk in sexual wholeness. Check out  his book on the same subject.  Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn.------------------------------------------------------------For more on what the Zints have to offer, check out ZintSquad.com where you can book couples coaching & individual coaching. >>> Would you consider financially supporting our shows? Would you consider financially supporting our shows? Would you consider financially supporting our shows?

Choosing a spouse is choosing the person you'd like to offer the most forgiveness to of anyone else over a lifetime. Why? Because the intimacy in marriage creates more opportunity for hurt than any other relationship. Therefore, to have a thriving marriage, we must lean into the heart of Jesus and forgive each other like He forgave us. Generously, for the big and the little trangresses, without measure. Especially when we feel we've been hurt by our spouse so often or so deeply, it can feel like an injustice to offer forgiveness. It feels unfair. Like they don't deserve it. It feels like "healthy boundaries" to withhold it. And yet, Jesus showed us a better way. One that actually produces transformation. That way is forgiveness. It's part of what loving your spouse means and love never fails.Please rate, review & share the podcast!------------------------------------------------------------Join Jenna's life-changing Habit Mastery Course!Registration for next round begins January 3, 2024.------------------------------------------------------------Aaron run's online small groups for men wanting to get connected, pursue growth and walk in sexual wholeness. Check out  his book on the same subject.  Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn.------------------------------------------------------------For more on what the Zints have to offer, check out ZintSquad.com where you can book couples coaching & individual coaching. >>> Would you consider financially supporting our shows? Would you consider financially supporting our shows?

Have you ever been trying to honestly explain what you're thinking or feeling and say the words "Part of me feels..." or "Part of me thinks..."? Most people do intuitively. In this episode we talk about how to utilize this phrase into our communciation with our spouse to give the most accurate picture of what's happening inside of us. We also explore how this is used in therapy and how you can use it to bring more compassion and connection within yourself. Please rate, review & share the podcast!Join Jenna's life-changing Habit Mastery Course!For more on what the Zints have to offer, check out ZintSquad.com where you can book one-on-one or couples coachings for emotional and relational health with Jenna and Aaron,  and check out Aaron's new book Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn. Aaron also run's online small groups for men wanting to get connected, pursue growth and walk in sexual wholeness.

In this episode we break down a couple tools for connecting with your spouse even when you're in the middle of conflict or have something unresolved between you both.Please rate, review & share the podcast!Join Jenna's life-changing Habit Mastery Course!For more on what the Zints have to offer, check out ZintSquad.com where you can book one-on-one or couples coachings for emotional and relational health with Jenna and Aaron,  and check out Aaron's new book Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn. Aaron also run's online small groups for men wanting to get connected, pursue growth and walk in sexual wholeness.

Have you ever been looking forward to the weekend only to find that what was intended to be restful and relaxing, never actually filled you up? Have you ever headed back into your workweek feeling like you wasted an opportunity to take good care of yourself and your family?We definitely have! In this episode, we talk about the shift that's happened in the last year that has transformed our weekends, especially with young kids, into times of true rest, rejuvination and connection.Please rate, review & share the podcast!Join Jenna's life-changing Habit Mastery Course!For more on what the Zints have to offer, check out ZintSquad.com where you can book one-on-one or couples coachings for emotional and relational health with Jenna and Aaron,  and check out Aaron's new book Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn. Aaron also run's online small groups for men wanting to get connected, pursue growth and walk in sexual wholeness.

In this episode we talk with our friend Serena Angeli who has gone on her own journey around awareness, understanding and growing in her attachment style. Interestingly, she began her journey with an avoidant style and later with an anxious style.  Jenna and I, Aaron, talk about how our avoidant and anxious styles, respectively, seem to perfectly trigger each other. Each of us talk about the growth paths we've identified for our specific styles. Join Jenna's life-changing Habit Mastery Course!Please rate, review & share the podcast!For more on what the Zints have to offer, check out ZintSquad.com where you can book one-on-one or couples coachings for emotional and relational health with Jenna and Aaron,  and check out Aaron's new book Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn. Aaron also run's online small groups for men wanting to get connected, pursue growth and walk in sexual wholeness.

In this episode Aaron & Jenna talk about what to do when you feel like your spouse is stuck in life. the common mindsets the pop up when you recognize your spouse is stuckwhat to avoidthe best ways to helpJoin Jenna's life-changing Habit Mastery Course!Please rate, review & share the podcast!For more on what the Zints have to offer, check out ZintSquad.com where you can book one-on-one or couples coachings for emotional and relational health with Jenna and Aaron,  and check out Aaron's new book Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn. Aaron also run's online small groups for men wanting to get connected, pursue growth and walk in sexual wholeness.

In this episode we interview our friends Autumn and Andrew Elliott. They saw a major turn in their connection after some counseling revealed a need for a "baseline." This baseline served as their way to stay connected on the most basic level so that the small conflicts that used to tank them before were no longer pulling them down. Another possible name for this "baseline" are "connection habits." It was a few simple, basic habits they put in place that got them out of the red and to a good baseline from which they could get through the craziness of their schedules and find even deeper connection.Please rate, review & share the podcast!For more on what the Zints have to offer, check out ZintSquad.com where you can book one-on-one or couples coachings for emotional and relational health with Jenna and Aaron, join the waitlist for Jenna's life-changing Habit Mastery Course and check out Aaron's new book Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn. Aaron also run's online small groups for men wanting to get connected, pursue growth and walk in sexual wholeness.