Pretty Over Perfect

Summer trips are calling - so let's get packing! Listen for our top tips for packing lightly with families and enjoying your trip more as a result - having just what you need and not being weighed down with extra baggage! Ask your local library for audio book devices like Playaway. Interconnecting headphones are great for kids sharing a backseat and an audio experience. I wasn't aware of these when my kids were in boosters, but I love the idea of an inflatable booster for travel! 

Say that ten times fast! Click here for our Summer Essentials PDF - everything you need, all in one place, for ultimate summer planning! BONUS!! I've included some of our family's favorite ways to have fun - in case you need inspiration!Summer is such a wonderful time of year - let's fully embrace it by setting our intentions, creating a framework, building a bucket list, coming up with a repeatable meal plan and then... letting go to enjoy what is before us. No matter what ages and stages your family is in this year, this episode is meant as a little refresher on creating a season based on your goals and values. 

Whether you're primarily an Upholder (loves a to-do list), Obliger (rises to the occasion for others), Rebel (desires freedom) or Questioner (loves to know how things work), we've got tips for maintaining systems - for you and the people living in your home with you! Home are ecosystems with many different tendencies in play. Understanding how everyone responds to expectations can help us set up and maintain systems that help us love each other, and love each other well! Resources:The Four Tendencies by Gretchen Rubin Video Interviews with Each Tendency Fair Play by Eve Rodsky

Last episode you cleaned out your closet, now its time to figure out what really "feels like you" by learning about your energy type and how you can best dress to support your natural flow in the world!Based on Carol Tuttle's Dress Your Truth program, this episode will walk you through 4 energy types and how to dress accordingly - colors, silhouettes, shapes, patterns and types of fabrics.Plus! Which Disney characters are which energy type - just for fun!Another episode on building a wardrobe that's perfect for you!

You Need a System - for figuring out your signature style and containing that closet chaos! Well, we've got one for you! Let's look at your current wardrobe as your many micro-attempts at defining your style. You've bought things here and there over years thinking, "Maybe this is me." Well, now we're going to look through all those choices and figure out what really is YOU!We've got a method for meaningfully sorting through your clothes, evaluating and understanding what you truly like and merchandising your wardrobe (to make it the best place for you to shop every morning). References:Episodes about Defining Your Style: Creating a Signature Style  and Curating a Fabulous Wardrobe for Who You Are Right NowOur favorite website for understanding and dressing for your body type is The Concept Wardrobe.Words to Describe Your Wardrobe - Pick 3-5 to inspire you - or write your own!

What is a Drop Zone - well, any place you tend to drop stuff in your house. We all have them, so let's solve them! We're figuring out how to tackle the ongoing clutter of Drop Zones - mail, sentimental items, kids' clutter, returns to be made, and ongoing projects. And a Go Zone - ideally helps you get out the door smoothly. This is a one-stop shop for your keys, wallet, backpack or diaper bag and snacks to get through the day!Drop Zone Organizers We LoveHow to unsubscribe from junk mail and credit card offers.  (Takes about 5 minutes on two different forms.)Did you know you can get your documents shredded at UPS for $1/pound - or less if you have a lot! Just take it to your local UPS store. Waterproof, Fireproof Document Bag paired with Simple File FoldersMagazine Holders for keeping kids' artwork until it is transferred to their Art BindersDecorative Flip Top Box for kids' personal art and keepsake collections (available in every color and decor theme under the sun to match their rooms!)Go Zones Organizers We LoveCommand Hooks

Michelle brings our editor (and her husband) to answer listener questions about Kitchen Systems. Tune in to find out how to tackle that kitchen mess at the end of a long day, how to zone your fridge and what to do about leftovers! Click here to learn how to preheat your stainless steel pans to make them nonstick! These Brightroom Organizers can be confined to keep the space under your sink from becoming a black hole!  Or this one! I also like these clear bings for stacking storage! 

We're beginning a new Spring Cleaning series all about how systems help us tackle everything in the home that needs our time and attention. When we create a system for how things get used and maintained, we are give ourselves the gift of a smoothly operating home, as well as more free time to pursue our work, hobbies and dream lifestyle.We're starting with the kitchen - the heart of the home - with a few systems in place we can make this area run efficiently, making meal times, mornings and clean up easier for everybody.Plus! 7 Tips for running your kitchen like a pro!Some kitchen items we recommend:Trash-Can Pull Out for Bottom Mount Kitchen CabinetBoot Tray - for boots or corralling crumbs and spills. 

The countdown to competition day has begun! Jessica breaks down her decision to compete in the Mrs. Utah pageant and tells us all the things going into her preparation. Jessica also shares her platform: The Mom Refresh Movement - all about empowering overwhelmed moms to regain their sparkle through simple and doable habits centered around Fuel, Rest, Editing, Sparkle and Help. To subscribe to the MomLetter and get weekly tips and ideas for self-care in motherhood, click here! 

Today we're discussing Gretchen Rubin's The Four Tendencies - an idea she puts forth about how people tend to react to both inner and outer expectations, whether they readily meet them or tend to resist. As with any method of categorizing how people approach the world, we find this helpful for understanding how we (and the people we love) end up in the same situations over and over again. The Four Tendencies are The Upholder, who readily meets inner and outer expectations, but has a hard time letting themselves off the hook for anything (even when it makes sense to do so)The Obliger, who readily meets outer expectations, but may struggle to stick to goals they've set for themselvesThe Rebel, who questions both inner and outer expectations and may have a hard time being accountable to anyoneThe Questioner, who wants to thoroughly investigate any outer expectation before making it an inner one, which they will often stick toWe need all of these approaches to the world to make it go round. We each rely on the other strengths to smooth over our weaknesses and vice versa. To find out your tendency, take the quiz here.To read a quick overview of the book, check out this summary by Alex Chen. 

For Valentine's Day, we're talking all about connecting with our nearest and dearest, our broader communities and even perfect strangers. Michelle recommends “Gratitude Journal for Teens Girls and Moms” and this article: “The problem with donating our dopamine to our phones, not our friends” by Tonya Mosley.

We're big fans of a family meeting: a once-a-week time set aside for discussing everything the family needs. It can be practical, philosophical and everything in between. Whether you start by lighting candles, making waffles or flopping on the couch, it's a great place for the family to work through conflict in a less-emotional state, build character skills, set intentions and work out the kinks of daily life. It can be as formal or as informal as you'd like - and there's only one prerequisite - that you do it! 

We're closing out 2024 with a look back at our favorite things: memories, challenges, rituals, lessons learned and mantras that go us through. Plus- how we invite our families to spend some time in reflection and setting intentions for the New Year.Michelle's Favorites:Primrosia Dual-Tip Markers for Writing, Journaling, DoodlingPaperage Spiral Bound Notebooks (in different colors to keep track of what's inside)Facial Cupping with Sakina Di PaceJessica's Favorites:Reusable Under-Eye Patches (store in the fridge for extra refreshment)Born to Shine by Kendra ScottIf you want to do some reflecting and intention setting with us, you can print the prompts we're using with our families here: Reflections & ResolutionsThey are meant to be printed and cut in half for being easily displayed or kept in a notebook for future reference!

Have you ever heard of kin-keeping? It's the emotional labor of maintaining and strengthening family ties and involves all the organizing of holiday events, wrapping of gifts and keeping of traditions. If you are the kin-keeper in your home this episode is for you: we're talking about the power and joy of this role, as well as ideas for decreasing the burden it entails so we can enjoy all the keeping of the kin that we are so busy doing. 

We're all about hosting for the holidays - and whether you've got big or small gatherings planned, we've got tips on how to save money, make the little things count, create meaningful conversation and welcome your guests with grace and calm.Plus, we dive into the difference between warm and cool hosts, our feelings about being a little bit extra, and how we know which of us is the older millennial. 

On today's episode we propose an expansion on the best ideas of gentle parenting, but with the addition of some power for parents - moving past imposter syndrome so prevalent in our generation to compassionate, competent and confident parenting. 

We are re-airing this fan favorite episode all about the hyggely lifestyle: leaning into all things cozy, warm and intimate in this otherwise cold and crummy time of year. This episode is based on the book The Little Book of Hygge (which makes a great holiday gift, IMHO) and covers the ten tenets of hygge: atmosphere, presence, pleasure, equality, gratitude, harmony, comfort, truce, togetherness and shelter. Enjoy!

The play-based childhood, essential to thriving in adulthood, has been on a rapid decline in the past few decades, priming the way for a phone-based childhood. We discuss the reasons we as parents feel we have to overprotect kids and how to talk ourselves through that in order to bring back a real childhood for our kids: real connections, real play, real experiences and real goodness. We are not zero-screens families, but rather value giving our children the experiences they need over simulated interactions that leave kids anxious, depressed and worse.Much of this discussion is based on the book The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt, and we recommend you read it!If you want more info on the necessity and joy of play for kids and adults, check out this episode. 

Today we've got seven ways to make your day better, and the science behind why they work. In our busy lives it can be easy to forget to make time to do the things that will actually make us feel alive, and happy about it - connecting with our communities, getting a breath of fresh air, creating, problem solving, and making room for serendipity. 

Today Michelle interviews her friend, Marcela, a teacher on special assignment who is also pursuing her doctorate in education while raising her two young girls and juggling family life with grace alongside her husband. She shares her unique experience on raising a multi-lingual and multi-cultural family all while claiming a life of abundance and every day luxury for herself. She offers a great perspective on co-parenting while both parents work full-time, as well as insights on how she feeds her busy family and takes time every day to soak in life's beauty. 

After the first few weeks of a new school year shake out, we have the opportunity to sync up our schedules and iron out any wrinkles in our systems for a smooth school year. Whether you've got pre-k or high school students, we're bringing our best tips for calendar maintenance, meal prep, after-school activities and more. Plus, when to acknowledge it's too much and how to let go, so you can actually enjoy and embrace the chaos of this time of life. 

Creating a signature style is a great way to show off your personality and passions before even speaking. Let's dive into assessing and determining a personal, timeless style by first going through the building blocks we already own, then adding accessories and defining our style! 

“Find out who you are, and do it on purpose.” We're taking Dolly Parton's words to heart and determining the first part of our personal brand - which develops over time to help inform us as to where and how to spend our limited time and energy. We're diving into questions like:“What is your purpose and your passions (long term and short term).”“What are you known for?” “What do you want to be known for?”“How are your spending your time lately?”“What are you up to/listening to/ interested in/ excited by?”“What's on your list for your life?”“What's on your list for this season?”

Have you ever heard of a philosophical razor? It's a rule of thumb or principle used to shave off unnecessary thoughts or explanations or to determine the next best course of action. There are a whole bunch of interesting razors we can use every day to let the little things go, seek simple solutions, give people the benefit of the doubt and build our own luck. Listen as we discuss razors high and low, as well as our own personal razors we've developed to help us make quick decisions and live according to our own principles. For more on razors, check out this article and this one, too. 

Minimalism is a philosophy we're all familiar with - but it's tenets can be used far beyond household possessions. It's not just about stripping down what is not worth keeping, but also about letting the things that matter most to us take up the majority of our time and attention. OIn this episode we're exploring what minimalism can teach us about our wardrobes, mindless consumption, constant influx of ideas, never-ending to-do lists, long-term storage and nighttime routines. Check out this episode for more on curating a wardrobe you love! 

From sleep training to screen time, there are so many ideas out there for parents. We review some of the ideas that have worked well for us, as well as ideas we've changed our minds about. Parenting is a constant challenge to grow and learn alongside our kids, and learning means we don't always do things right the first (or second or third) times. Thankfully, it's a long term game, so we get to make adjustments as we go. Michelle recommends the book The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt for a call to action regarding kids and screens, as well as many helpful ideas about how to give our kids the play-based childhoods they need in order to thrive. 

Catch up with us as we share our favorite fiction and non-fiction reads for summer, podcasts and music we've had in our ears lately and what we're doing with our kids on the hottest day of summer. Jess's FavoritesBooksThe Selection Series12 Dancing Princesses Series You're the Girl for the JobHabits of the HouseholdPodcastsA Secret Tool to Keep Your Kids Entertained This SummerUnpacking Panic Attacks and Emotional WellnessMichelle's FavoritesBooksWhere'd You Go Bernadette

Today we're bringing you 7 tips for enjoying summer with the kids home - whether you're a working or at-home parent during these months of freedom, and yes, some chaos. We're all about setting our intentions for the season ahead so as to fully embrace the extra time we get with our little ones - and set flexible frameworks for everyone to enjoy. We chat about what to do about summer meals, snacks and slowing down! 

We're back with part two of organizing with kids in mind: talking household routines, systems and schedules that keep us from drowning. We discuss how and when to purge without making your family hate you, plus how to get out of the endless cycle of accumulate/purge. We also talk about setting up routines that keep the home from getting out of hand, and how to get kids involved with chores and feeling like a part of how the house functions. 

Organizing with kids in the home is a whole new ballgame - and the family's needs change frequently through ages and stages. Today we tackle some of the common sticking points for young families: toys and laundry. We discuss how we are handling these in our own homes, as well as guiding principles for everyone. Finding solutions that work for our families begins with discovering what kind of maintainers we want to be, and what level of cleanliness or organización we desire. Let's get started! 

Everyone needs some tools for remaining the adult in tense parenting situations. Jessica and Michelle go back and forth about the different stages of childhood and how to handle big emotions from someone going through it, and someone looking in from the outside. 

Join us for a fun episode discussing all the latest: Barbiecore, Unexpected Red, Dumb Homes Paper Planners, Girl Dinner, Maximalism and more! We discuss these trends and whether we think they're a bop or a flop. 

We all need more fun in our lives: fun creates bonds and lowers stress. It can be easy to put on the back burner, but the truth is that fun deserves to be prioritized in our lives. So we're strategizing for incorporating more fun, and giving out some free (or nearly free) ways to have more fun with your spring break! 

Have you ever heard of the Pennebaker Method? It's a protocol of using expressive writing to move through traumatic or stressful situations in order to find more peace and hope in their aftermath. It's completely free and available at anytime to anyone, which is one of the reasons we recommend it - no matter what you're going through it could help! People who use the method widely report feeling much better in body and mind after the practice. Here we discuss it in detail and share our personal experiences using it to work through our own real life hang ups. If you need to remember the protocol for your own use remember the Es: write for at least 15 minutes, on 4 separate days about the Event, your Emotions (at the time and now) and the Effects on your life.Though it can be an intense process to write expressively about something painful in our past, we also discuss the science of why it works to face these things head on. When we  bring the situation out of our subconscious through language, we can handle it with our whole mind, which helps our systems regulate and our spirits find peace. This episode is based on information from the Huberman Lab Podcast: A Science-Supported Journaling Protocol to Improve Mental and Physical Health 

When you are grieving the loss of a loved one, a dream, a job or a home, your brain enters an anticipatory state seeking resolution. This process requires neurological rewiring and is painful and chaotic. But, when we understand what grief is, we are also better able to move through it effectively, finding peace and hope. As humans we are united in our fragility, and all of us either have or will experience grief in our lives. Knowing a little bit about what grief is in our brains and bodies can prepare us for our own experiences, and help us love others well in theirs. This episode is largely based on information from the Huberman Lab: The Science and Process of Healing from Grief. 

Reframing is a powerful tool that allows us to expand our perspective and grow from our instinctual response to stimuli in order to create actions, thoughts and habits more in keeping with who we truly want to be. Our automatic response to a situation or season may not serve us or our futures very well, so we discuss 6 scenarios we are currently practicing reframing in our own lives. We talk about expansive gratitude, romanticizing our season of life, and  being generous with our love. We also answer questions like, "What to do with guilt,” and wonder what it would look like if we lived our daily routines as if we had begged to be here. 

It is increasingly easy in our culture to neglect our need and desire for rest - a break from all our striving to simply be in the moment, whether to enjoy what we are doing, process events and emotions or build relationships. But what the heck even is rest? Why is it so difficult for us to allow ourselves to rest? On this episode, Jessica and Michelle discuss all this, plus ways we can prioritize and sanctify rest, giving our minds and bodies the relief we need and crave. Plus, practical ways we are incorporating intentional rest into our lives this year. The book, "Why We Sleep" by Matthew Walker was mentioned, as well as this podcast episode featuring Jennifer Dukes Lee on Holy Hygge.  Michelle loves this episode of the BEMA podcast about the story behind the story of Creation and the command to rest. 

Michelle is joined by her sister, Georgia, to talk about how they incorporate the 5 Ss of Emotional Well-Being into our lives every day: Sunshine, Sweat, Sleep, Social and Synergy. We got these 5 Ss from this episode with Joy Bouchard. And if you want to hear more from Georgia Filler, you can here.  She recommended the Bryant Ferate Podcast which you can find here! 

Christmas Break can be a time of magic and memories, and also chaos, contention and disappointment. We asked our audience for questions on common Christmas Break issues and are answering questions about how to work through entitlement with kids, boredom when stuck inside for long periods of time, and why everyone feels the post-holiday blues (and some thoughts on how to change that).  We're putting our theories about prioritizing peace into practice and sharing tips on what to do during that lull between Christmas and New Year's. 

Entertaining can be such a focus of the holidays, but what if we shifted our focus to gathering. Gathering our loved ones together for the community we all crave. Our main goal is not to wow, but to give people a place to be loved. We've got simple ideas for inviting and delighting, plus no nonsense food ideas, too. This episode is partly inspired by an episode on Hospitality featuring Shauna Niequist. You can find it here!

We're applying our home organization method to the holidays - helping ourselves reflect on holidays past in order to set our intentions for the ones ahead, identifying sticking points and things we really want to recreate. Then, we're installing the system, making sure we make the big things the big things, so we know what we can say yes (and no) to. And of course, we're talking about beautifying our homes without getting buried under the clutter or buying everything advertised to us. Follow us on Instagram - @prettyoverperfect where we'll be sharing a few of our favorite low clutter or clutter-free gift ideas!Jessica recommends Your Minimal-ish Holidays by Desirae Enders. Michelle's favorite colored pencils for her kids, plus their favorite Crunch Labs subscription box. 

Today we're getting our homes organized before the chaos of the holidays sets in! We're re-evaluating sticking points in our homes, decluttering, sharing our favorite everyday storage solutions and thoughts on how to maintain the systems we have in place. And if a system isn't working, that means it's broken, not you! Join us as we make our homes a sanctuary of calm and joy for the coming months of cold.A few items mentioned in this episode:Some no-nonsense hooks for just about anywhere (entry way, closet, bathroom, mudroom, garage, etc.). Don't forget your wall anchors! An over-the-door organizer, for shoes and anything else you can think of. Michelle uses them for corralling seasonal gear (hats and gloves or sunscreen and goggles).  Food storage containers with one-size-fits-all lids! Plastic or GlassBranch Basics: one solution to create all the cleaning products you need! (Might seem kind of spendy, but it's replaced all Michelle's glass, kitchen and bathroom cleaners for the last 6+ months and saves a lot of hassle!)Foaming Handsoap Refill Tablets

Fall is here and whether you love or hate it, the changing of seasons invites us to pause, reflect and allow for rebirth. In this episode we discuss fall activities and Halloween plans, rain-proofing our hair and whether or not Travis Kelce is as big of a deal as Taylor Swift. 

It's been 100 episodes of Pretty Over Perfect and we're debriefing where we started, what we've learned and some of our favorite things we've picked up along the way! Thank you for being here with us - it means the world to share this journey with you!Just a  few  of our favorite episodes mentioned here:Home Design According to Your Energy TypeDressing Like the Protagonist of Your Own LifeOur Favorite Parenting BooksEmotional Wellness Habits with JoyBeing Thrifty and Industrious Just Like Our GrandmothersLet's Play!Constructive Conflict with Dennis McGreevy (Situation, Behavior, Impact Model)Episodes 1 and 2 of Building Happy Families Rituals of Repair and Reconnection with Steve WatersBooks we recommended here:The Blessings of a Skinned KneeHunt, Gather, Parent Bringing Up Bebe The Child Whisperer 

Fall is calling and with it, we're back in the kitchen (whether we want to be or not). This week we're talking all about meal planning for busy schedules, visualizing our needs and grocery lists for the week and assembling quick meals so our families can eat together and be satisfied. Jessica's favorites from this episode:White Chocolate Chip Cookie Butter CookiesMuddy BuddiesCafe Rio Sweet Pork RecipeCafe Rio Creamy Tomatillo RanchSheet Pan Greek NachosGreat Value Smoothie BlendsMichelle's favorites from this episode:Yumm Bowls with Cuban Black BeansGalaxy Cake Malted Chocolate Chip Cookies1 Hour Cinnamon Rolls (she makes them with 1 tablespoon pumpkin pie spice and 2 tablespoons cinnamon in the filling)Reusable Grocery Bags 

Jessica's back and we're talking all our favorites: summer memories, go-to meals, outfits and mantras. Plus, things what we're letting go of, what (and who) is inspiring us and how to make the mornings go smoother.  We love the book The Lives We Actually Have: 100 Blessings for Imperfect Days by Kate Bowler and Jessica Richie. These are Jessica's favorite running shorts. Unfortunately, the linen pants she's been enjoying are all sold out!  Here's a podcast episode with Steve Martin that Michelle loved. And here's a black version of the jumpsuit she's loving. 

Everyone is handling some kind of big project right now, whether personal or professional, concrete or intangible. Michelle is joined by her husband, Steve, as they debrief a big development project they just tackled and share their takeaways for organizing projects of any kind. Michelle mentioned this podcast about how our projects define us Adam Grant and Brian Little, Steve mentioned the book The Comfort Crisis by Michael Easter. And if you'd like to take a look at the cabins they're talking about, you can at see pictures and choose your favorite them at backwoodscabins.com

Michelle is joined by her husband, Steve, today and they talk about rituals they've formed over the years to protect and enjoy their relationship through all kinds of seasons. 

We're re-sharing this episode from last year all about how memories are made, how we can reframe experiences and why perfection is antithetical to happy memories! It's always helpful to get reminders about what makes our lives truly good, especially when we have constant distractions trying to convince us we can buy or polish our ways into a good and meaningful life.