The Best of You

Today's Scripture: Hebrews 10:24–25 **Today's devotional is in response to listener requests.** If you've ever heard “do not give up meeting together” and felt guilt rise in your body, this episode is for you. In today's reflection on Hebrews 10:24–25, Dr. Alison offers a compassionate look at church hurt, spiritual community, and why this passage was never meant to be used as a weapon. We explore: *How church hurt and religious trauma can shape your nervous system *Signs of an unhealthy community *How to discern a healthy spiritual community *How to take slow, wise steps toward connection after religious harm Go Deeper: Episode 17: What is Church Hurt and How do I Heal? Episode 163: Healing Spiritual Wounds – Understanding Abuse in Faith Spaces with Rachael Clinton Chen Episode 153: Embodied Healing, Spiritual Trauma, and the Journey Home to Your Body with Dr. Hillary McBride Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison's free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if getting “triggered” isn't the problem… but a signal? We all have moments where our body reacts fast—your heart races, your defenses go up, and suddenly you're not responding from your wisest self. In this episode, Dr. Alison sits down with Dr. Kelly Flanagan to explore what's really happening in those moments—and how to respond with more clarity, connection, and intention. Together, they unpack what's happening behind reactivity and what it looks like to interrupt that cycle in real time. You'll learn: Why being triggered is a normal nervous system response How to notice your reactions before they take over The difference between protection mode and connection mode How to set boundaries without escalating conflict Why an open heart leads to wiser—not weaker—boundaries If you've ever felt stuck in reactive patterns in your relationships, this conversation offers a grounded, compassionate way forward. More Resources: Order Dr. Kelly Flanagan's new book, The Road Less Triggered. You can preorder Dr. Alison's newest book, The Secure Soul, and immediately receive the first 3 chapters as well as early access to the companion guide! Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram Curious what Family Role may have shaped you? Take the Family Role Quiz to learn how you may be showing up in your relationships with others. Want to hear more like this? Start here: Episode 203: Staying Close When Connection Feels Hard: The Relationship Skills No One Has Taught You Episode 180: When People Push Your Buttons — The Power of Curiosity Over Control

Today's Scripture: Ruth 1:16–18 What's the difference between love that strengthens your soul and loyalty that slowly erases you? In today's reflection on Ruth 1, Dr. Alison Cook explores Ruth's freely chosen commitment to Naomi—and why healthy love never uses guilt, pressure, or control to make someone stay. This episode offers a nuanced look at staying, leaving, agency, and the kind of attachment that is faithful, honest, and free. We explore: *How to recognize the difference between chosen love and fear-based loyalty *Why Ruth's commitment to Naomi is not a picture of codependency *How secure attachment gives people agency instead of trapping them *Why guilt-driven love can slowly lead to self-erasure *When staying can be rooted in freedom—and when leaving may be an act of wisdom Go Deeper: Start reading about inner attachment, when you preorder The Secure Soul Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison's free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Matthew 5:29–30 **Today's devotional is in response to listener requests.** Some Bible passages don't just make us think—they make our bodies brace. In today's reflection on Matthew 5:29–30, Dr. Alison Cook offers a compassionate way to read one of Jesus' hardest teachings without fear, shame, or self-condemnation. This episode explores: *How fear-based religion can shape the way your body hears Scripture *What happens in the brain when the amygdala perceives threat *Why repentance means turning toward love, not turning against yourself *How God's holiness always leads us toward healing and wholeness. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison's free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Psalm 121:1–8 When life feels uncertain, your nervous system may start scanning for safety—looking for reassurance, protection, or some solid place to land. In today's reflection on Psalm 121, Dr. Alison Cook explores how God meets us in that vulnerable place as the One who watches over our coming and going. We explore: *Why your nervous system scans for safety *How hypervigilance develops *Why “God watches over you” may take time to feel true in your body *How dwelling on scripture can slowly retrain your soul toward safety Go Deeper: Get my Masterclass "Healing the Wounds that Shape Us" when you preorder The Secure Soul Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison's free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Galatians 1:10 Have you ever said yes when something inside you wanted to say no? In today's episode, we look at Galatians 1:10 and the hidden cost of living for approval. In this episode, you'll learn: *How approval-seeking disconnects you from your own voice *How early family roles shape your need for approval *Why the helper, peacekeeper, or responsible one within may still be leading •How to find your own inner compass instead Go Deeper: Take our new Family Roles Quiz! Episode 147: Making Sense of Your Family Story with Adam Young Episode 85: The Goal of a Healthy Family & 6 Roles We Take on in Dysfunction Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison's free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if the dry, weary place you're in isn't something to escape—but a place where God is working? So many of us know that quiet middle space: you're not in crisis, but you're not exactly flourishing either. You're tired, spiritually dry, disconnected, or simply going through the motions. It's not dramatic enough to call a breakdown, but something in you knows you're weary. In this episode, Dr. Alison and author/priest Tish Harrison Warren explore what grows in these weary places—and why seasons of spiritual dryness, burnout, and languishing aren't signs that something is wrong with you. They may be part of how God forms you. Together, they talk about aridity, resilience, stability, and what it means to stay present to the life you actually have instead of constantly looking for a way out. You'll discover: Why spiritual dryness doesn't mean you're failing The difference between depression, burnout, and languishing What the desert fathers and mothers can teach us about resilience Why “staying in your cell” can become a path of formation How ordinary repair, routines, and relationships shape us over time What it means to let where you are do its work How hope changes the way we endure hard seasons This conversation offers a counter-cultural invitation: you don't have to rush out of the weary place. There may be something growing there. More Resources:

Today's Scripture: 1 Samuel 16:1–7 Have you ever felt overlooked— not chosen, not noticed, not even considered? In today's episode, we look at the story of Samuel anointing David and what it reveals about how easily we evaluate ourselves and others by what is visible. We explore: *How the halo effect shapes who gets noticed, chosen, or valued *Why external validation is a shaky foundation for your identity *How to stop measuring your worth by systems that were never designed to see you clearly *What David's story reveals about hidden faithfulness, quiet seasons, and the God who sees what others miss Go Deeper: Dr. Alison shares her journey through feeling unseen in The Secure Soul. Click here to read the first 3 chapters & join free masterclass on the wounds that shape you Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison's free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Luke 7:37–39 Have you ever wanted to bring something real into the light—but felt afraid of being judged? In today's episode, we look at the woman in Luke 7 who walks into a room full of people who already think they know her story and brings her whole self to the feet of Jesus. This passage shows us the difference between shame that keeps us hiding and the kind of love that helps us come close. We'll explore: *Why shame thrives in secrecy *Why people judge & how it affects both the person judging & others *The corrective emotional experience of dignity, compassion, and love found in Jesus Go Deeper: Episode 23: Am I Wounded or am I Sinful? Read the first 3 Chapters of my new book The Secure Soul, when you preorder Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison's free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Psalm 32:3–7 Have you ever carried something so long that it started to feel normal? In today's episode, we look at Psalm 32 and what happens when hidden guilt, shame, or regret stays buried inside the body and soul. I'll walk you through the difference between true guilt and shame, why suppression can take such a physical toll, and how honest confession can become a doorway into freedom, safety, and deeper connection with God. We'll explore: *Why hidden guilt can show up in your body as tension, exhaustion, or anxiety *The difference between true guilt and shame *What psychology research us shows us about confession as a path toward safety, not rejection *How God meets you with mercy when you stop hiding Go Deeper: Read True Guilt vs. False Guilt on my blog Visit dralisoncook.com/podcast and type “guilt” into the search bar to find past episodes on this topic. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison's free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: 2 Timothy 1:7There's a kind of exhaustion that comes from feeling like nothing you do makes a difference. In today's episode, Dr. Alison Cook explores 2 Timothy 1:7 and the psychology of feeling powerless. Drawing on the concept of learned helplessness and nervous system overwhelm, she unpacks why you may feel stuck, shut down, or unable to act—and how to begin reclaiming your voice, one small step at a time. We'll explore: *What learned helplessness is and how it shapes your sense of agency*Why feeling powerless isn't weakness—but a nervous system adaptation*The difference between true power vs. control or over-functioning*A simple, grounded way to begin reclaiming your voice todayGo Deeper:Read the first 3 chapters of The Best of YouRead blog post on Confident Leadership Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever replayed a conversation over and over in your mind? Maybe it was something your partner said. A text that felt off. A moment at work. A look on someone's face. Suddenly your mind is looping, analyzing, judging, and trying to solve something that never seems to resolve. Today's conversation with science writer Donna Jackson Nakazawa is about rumination—what many of us experience as overthinking, thought spirals, or getting mentally stuck. Donna brings together powerful neuroscience, personal story, and practical tools to help us understand why our minds loop, what those loops are trying to show us, and how we can begin to interrupt them with compassion and clarity. We explore: Why rumination is not random—and what it reveals The difference between productive reflection and a mental loop that leaves you feeling worse Why social media can trigger rumination so quickly Donna's MIST framework for stopping the spiral This conversation is especially for you if you've ever thought, Why can't I just let this go? or Why am I still thinking about this? Get Donna's new book, Mind Drama here Connect with Donna here Preorder my brand new book The Secure Soul Want to hear more episodes like this? Start here: Episode 158:  Your Pain Has a Name: The Deeper Hurt Behind Distressing Thoughts with Therapist Monica DiCristina Episode 51: The 12 Common Thinking Traps, Mind Reading, Mental Filters, and How To Stop Taking Things Personally

Today's Scripture: 2 Kings 5:1–14Why do we resist the very things that could actually help us heal? In today's episode, Dr. Alison Cook explores the story of Naaman in 2 Kings 5 and the deeply human tendency to reject simple, meaningful steps toward healing. With insight from psychology and identity formation, she unpacks why small, ordinary actions can feel threatening—especially when your sense of self has been built around strength, control, or self-sufficiency. We'll explore:*Why we resist change—even when we want it*How the false self and identity can block healing*Why simple solutions can feel “too small” for deep pain*How small, repeated steps become the pathway to real transformation Go Deeper:Episode 199: How the Body Teaches the Soul with Justin Whitmel EarleyCheck out our new website with all the daily episodes linked. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Mark 4:35–41What happens when fear takes over your body—and you can't think clearly? In today's episode, Dr. Alison Cook explores the story of Jesus calming the storm in Mark 4, alongside the psychology of panic, fear, and the nervous system. She explains why your body goes into fight-or-flight mode, why you feel the urge to fix or control everything, and how to gently return to calm. We'll explore:*What's happening in your brain during panic *Why anxiety can feel urgent and all-consuming*The link between fear, over-functioning, and control*A simple grounding practice to help your body return to calm and presenceGo Deeper:Episode 185: A Real-Time Practice to Help You Return to God's Loving Presence When You're Anxious or OverwhelmedEpisode 129: Understanding Anxiety: A Step-by-Step Guide to Finding Calm, Advocating For Yourself, and Cultivating Inner ResilienceEmail your topics and passage ideas at info@dralisoncook.comSign up for Dr. Alison's free weekly email for more insight and resources. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Psalm 73:1–3, 12–17 Have you ever looked at someone else's life and felt that quiet ache—like you're somehow behind? In today's episode, Dr. Alison Cook explores Psalm 73 and the deeply human struggle of comparison. With insight from psychology and attachment patterns, she unpacks why comparison can feel so destabilizing—and how to return to your own life with clarity and compassion. We explore:*Why upward social comparison can distort your sense of worth*How comparison pulls you out of your own life and into an imagined hierarchy*The connection between comparison, self-doubt, and over-functioning*Why you can't “think” your way out of comparison—and what actually helps*A grounding practice to help you return to your own life and God's presence Go Deeper:Episode 183: The Real Reason You Compare Yourself (and How to Heal It)When Life Feels Unfair (and Why Comparison Keeps you Stuck Read the first 3 chapters of I Shouldn't Feel This Way Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: James 1:5–8Struggling to make a decision or stuck in overthinking? In this episode, Dr. Alison explores the real reason behind indecision and how learning to work with the different parts of you can help you find clarity and move forward. We explore:*Indecision and overthinking*Inner conflict and parts work*Decision fatigue and self-doubt*Finding clarity without forcing answers Go Deeper:Get a guided journal and the first 3 chapters of I Shouldn't Feel This Way here Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if the reason you feel stuck… isn't because something is wrong with you, but because different parts of you are pulling in different directions? We all know that feeling: one part of you wants to follow through, while another part resists. And often, one side takes over… leaving you with regret or confusion afterward. In this episode, Dr. Alison is joined by IFS therapist and best-selling author Jenna Riemersma to explore what's really happening beneath that inner conflict and how to respond differently. Because the goal isn't to fight those parts of you. It's to understand them. Together, they walk through Jenna's simple, practical framework that helps you move toward yourself with curiosity and compassion instead of shame or control. You'll explore: Why the parts of you that frustrate you most may be trying to help What keeps you stuck in the same inner battles again and again The surprising shift that can calm the conflict inside How to know when to share what's happening inside you—and when it's wiser to protect yourself What real relief can look like when you stop fighting yourself If you've ever felt stuck in cycles of overthinking, self-criticism, or reacting in ways you later regret, this conversation will help you understand why and what to do in the moment. Want to go deeper? Get Jenna's new book, Move Toward. Get Jenna's free Guided Meditations and Journaling Worksheets here.  Connect further with ⁠@dralisoncook⁠ on Instagram Join 80,000+ soul tenders in our email community and receive weekly reflections and gentle practices on parts work ⁠here⁠.  Want to hear more like this? Start here: Episode 160:  When You Feel Unwanted—Meeting the Parts of You That Long to Belong with IFS Therapist Tammy Sollenberger Episode 108: Inside Out—Internal Family Systems, Therapy, and High-Performing Protectors with Jenna Riemersma 

Today's Scripture: Ecclesiastes 3:1–11If you feel stuck in a season that won't change, this episode offers a grounded, compassionate way to navigate uncertainty without forcing what isn't ready. We explore:*Emotional stuckness and waiting*Anxiety about the future*Control vs. surrender*Finding peace in the uncertaintyEmail us at info@dralisoncook.com with topics or passages you'd like us to cover! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Matthew 20:1–16Ever notice how quickly comparison can steal your peace—even when life is going well? In this episode, Dr. Alison explores the psychology of social comparison and how it shapes your sense of worth, helping you move from insecurity to grounded confidence . We explore:*Social comparison and insecurity*Why comparison feels like a threat*Letting go of keeping score*Finding peace in your own storyGo Deeper:Episode 183: The Real Reason You Compare Yourself—and How to Heal ItRead my free e-book She's Better Than Me here Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Psalm 127:1–2If you feel constantly exhausted, it may not be about doing too much—but about carrying what was never yours to carry. In this episode, Dr. Alison explores Psalm 127 and the concept of “anxious toil,” integrating attachment theory and nervous system insight to help you release over-responsibility and rediscover rest. We explore:*Overfunctioning and burnout*Hypervigilance and the nervous system*How we start to build the wrong thingGo Deeper:Episode 138: Breaking Free from Overfunctioning—Discover the Hidden Costs of Always Being 'The Responsible One'Check out our new webpage here Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture is: 1 Thessalonians 5:9–11 In a culture that prizes independence, this episode offers a countercultural truth: healing happens in connection. Drawing on both Scripture and research on community and mental health, Dr. Alison explores how small, consistent relationships can restore your sense of belonging. In this episode: *Why community is essential for emotional health *Research on connection, resilience, and well-being *The power of micro-connections (small, daily interactions) *How to rebuild trust after relational hurt or church hurt *What mutual, healthy connection really looks like Go Deeper: Episode 17: What is Church Hurt and How do I Heal It? Episode 181: The Healing Power of Safe People (Not Just Safe Spaces) Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison's free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When a diagnosis, chronic illness, or unexpected health challenge enters your life, it can divide your story into a before and after. And often, we don't have language for what's happening beneath the surface. In this episode, Dr. Alison and Dr. James C. Jackson explore the concept of medical trauma—and how it impacts not just your body, but your identity, your relationships, and your sense of meaning. Because medical trauma isn't just about what happened to you physically. It's about what it begins to reshape internally—your sense of safety, control, and who you are. If you've ever felt disoriented, overwhelmed, or like life doesn't fit the way it used to… this conversation will help you understand why and what healing can look like. You'll explore: What medical trauma is and why it's often overlooked The psychological impact of diagnosis, chronic illness, and navigating healthcare How suffering can reshape your identity—and how to gently reframe it The role of community in healing and why support matters What it means to live in the “both/and” of grief and hope This conversation offers a compassionate path forward—helping you learn how to live with what's hard without letting it define all of who you are. Purchase Reclaiming Your Life From Medical Trauma here. Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram Want to go deeper? Join 80,000+ soul menders in our email community and receive weekly reflections and gentle practices on parts work here.  Want to hear more like this? Start here: Episode 64: Women's Health—Menopause, Hormones, Depression and How to Advocate for Yourself Through Your Body's Changes Episode 19: My Stroke, A Process of Healing, and How I Began to Write The Best of You

Today's Scripture is: Proverbs 27:6 **Today's devotional is in response to listener requests.** When a relationship feels powerful, fast, and deeply affirming, it can be hard to slow down and discern what's real. This episode unpacks the difference between emotional intensity and genuine love—helping you recognize red flags, trust your intuition, and move toward steady, grounded connection. In this episode: *Why intensity ≠ intimacy *The psychology behind fast attachment and emotional acceleration *Subtle signs of love bombing and relational urgency *How to evaluate consistency over chemistry *What it means to build safe, sustainable connection Go Deeper: Episode 178: How to Recognize Toxic Tactics, and Stop Taking the Bait Episode 24: Boundaries, the Spectrum of Toxicity, and a Note About Evil Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison's free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture is: Matthew 5:33-37 Why is it so hard to say what we really mean? This episode explores the emotional and psychological roots of people-pleasing, over-explaining, and softening our truth. With insight from Scripture and psychology, you'll learn how to move toward clarity, integrity, and more honest connection. In this episode: *The hidden cost of people-pleasing and overfunctioning *How empathy and attunement can make boundaries harder *The role of the nervous system in saying yes or no *Why clarity actually creates deeper connection *Simple ways to practice honest communication without guilt Go Deeper: Episode 14: The Fawn Response & the Hidden Root of People Pleasing Episode 171: Why People Pleasing Actually Makes You Feel More Alone, and 3 Steps to Create Real Connection Learn healthy boundaries in The Best of You - get the first 3 chapters free here. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison's free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture is: Psalm 68:4-10 If you've felt the ache of loneliness, this episode offers a deeply grounding reminder: your longing for connection is not a weakness, it's part of how you were created. Blending Scripture with attachment psychology, Dr. Alison explores how God meets us within loneliness, not just after it's resolved. In this episode: *The difference between loneliness and disconnection *How attachment needs shape your emotional world *Why loneliness is a signal, not a failure *A reframe of the “in-between” (wilderness) season *How to notice small, real forms of connection already present Go Deeper: Episode 142: How to Honor & Set Boundaries with Sadness & Loneliness Visit our new The Best of You Every Day web page here Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison's free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture is: Romans 12:9–18 **Today's devotional is in response to listener requests.** "Hate what is evil" and "bless those who persecute you" can feel like an impossible tension — until you understand what Paul is actually asking for. This episode unpacks one of scripture's most demanding passages and makes the case that clarity and love are not opposites. We explore: We'll explore: -The difference between naming harm and becoming hardened by it -What the research tells us about resentment and what chronic unforgiveness does to our bodies and brains -The two dimensions of forgiveness — and why neither requires you to minimize harm or trust someone who hasn't earned it We love hearing from you! If there is a topic or Scripture you'd like us to cover on the podcast, please email us at info@dralisoncook.com Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison's free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if procrastination isn't about laziness… but a disconnect between who you want to be and what you actually do? So many of us carry goals we care deeply about: habits we want to build, changes we long to make, ways we want to grow. And yet, we find ourselves stuck in the same patterns, circling the same resistance, wondering why it's so hard to follow through. In this episode, Dr. Alison Cook and goals expert and New York Times bestselling author Jon Acuff explore what's really happening beneath procrastination and how to finally begin moving forward. Because procrastination isn't a character flaw. It's a gap. A gap between your intentions and your actions. And over time, that gap can quietly erode something deeper: your trust in yourself. If you've ever felt stuck, overwhelmed by your goals, or caught in cycles of starting and stopping… this conversation will help you understand why and what to do next. You'll explore: Why procrastination isn't about laziness and what's actually driving it The hidden impact of broken self-trust (and how to begin rebuilding it) How your “soundtracks” (repetitive thoughts) shape your actions and results The real reason discipline alone doesn't work and what does The 4 key places people get stuck in the growth process (and how to move forward) This conversation offers a practical, compassionate path forward, helping you close the gap between who you want to be and how you're actually living, one small step at a time. More Resources: Make sure to grab Jon Acuff's latest book Procrastination Proof: Never Get Stuck Again and then claim $97 worth of free bonuses. Take Jon's free procrastination profile here. Connect further with ⁠@dralisoncook⁠ on Instagram Want to go deeper with Dr. Alison? Join 80,000+ soul menders in our email community and receive weekly reflections and gentle practices here.  Want to hear more like this? Start here: Episode 199: How the Body Teaches the Soul with Justin Whitmel Earley Episode 157: Braving Change—3 Ways to Get Unstuck and Transform Guilt and Regret

Today's Scripture is: Proverbs 4:20-23 Many of us have been taught that setting limits is selfish — that real love means giving without reserve. This episode makes the case, from both scripture and science, that boundaries are not walls against love but what protect love's integrity. We'll explore: -The research on compassion fatigue and what happens neurologically when we chronically override our own limits -The full context of Proverbs 4 — and why the wisdom writer connects attentiveness to your inner life with health to your whole body -Why guarding your heart is not a selfish act, but an act of profound faithfulness to God and the people you love To Go Deeper: Visit my blog, and type "boundaries" into the search bar. Visit my podcast, and type "boundaries" into the search bar. For more on external boundaries, see The Best of You or click here to get the first 3 chapters free For more on internal boundaries, see Boundaries For Your Soul, or click here to get free resources. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison's free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture is: Mark 8:34–36 **Today's devotional is in response to listener requests.** This episode tackles one of the most misused phrases in all of scripture — and one that has caused real harm for a lot of people. We look at what Jesus was actually calling us toward, through the lens of psychology and the concept of the true and false self. We explore: -The difference between denying the false self and erasing your personhood -How fear-based identity forms — and why it's not the truest version of who you are -Why "take up your cross" is not an invitation to accept abuse, toxic relationships, or depression as God's will -Jesus as a model of strength, not smallness — and what that means for us To Go Deeper: Blog post: What Does It Really Mean to Deny Yourself Get the first 3 chapters free of The Best of You Episode 56: Am I Really Supposed to Die To Myself? Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison's free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture is: Psalm 27:10-14 This episode explores the psychology of attachment wounds through the lens of Psalm 27—one of scripture's most honest cries about being left behind. We explore: -what neuroscience tells us about how early attachment experiences literally shape brain architecture -why our nervous systems stay on alert long after the original wound, -how the psalmist's declaration speaks directly into that place. We also explore the research on prayer and the brain, and what it might mean for our nervous systems to slowly experience being held. To Go Deeper: Episode 16: What are Attachment Styles and Why do They Matter? Episode 136: Sacred Attachment—Escaping Spiritual Exhaustion and Trusting in Divine Love with Michael John Cusick Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison's free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Even after moments of clarity or growth, many of us find ourselves returning to familiar patterns. Back to what we know. Back to what once felt safe. In John 21, the disciples go back to fishing—returning to something familiar after everything they've just experienced. And it's there, in the middle of that return, that Jesus meets them again. In this episode, Dr. Alison reflects on why we go back to old patterns—not as failure, but as something deeply human—and how those very places can become the ground where we are met with grace and invited into something new. Today's Scripture is: John 21:1–14 Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison's free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if the health of your relationship is shaping more of your life than you realize? We spend so much time focusing on our individual growth—our healing, our self-awareness, our inner work. But at some point, that work has to find its way into our closest relationships. And that's where things often get complicated. In this episode, Dr. Alison is joined by Dr. James Cordova to explore what it actually looks like to build and sustain healthy, connected relationships over time—and why it's so much harder than we expect. Because the truth is, relationships aren't neutral. They're either strengthening and supporting your overall well-being…or quietly eroding it. If you've ever felt close to someone you love… and also strangely disconnected, this conversation will help you understand why. You'll explore: Why relationships are more foundational to your health than you might think What actually happens as intimacy shifts over time—and why it's not a sign something is wrong The “porcupine dilemma” and why closeness and hurt often go hand in hand How small, everyday moments either build or erode connection What it means to respond to bids for connection—and why they matter more than you realize How mindfulness and presence shape the quality of your relationships What to do when you feel stuck, disconnected, or like you're the only one trying This conversation offers a compassionate and practical reframe:Healthy relationships aren't about avoiding conflict or getting it right all the time. They're about learning how to stay present, stay curious, and stay connected—even when it's hard. More Resources: Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram Read Dr. James Cordova's Book: The Mindful Path to Intimacy: Cultivating a Deeper Connectin With Your Partner Want to go deeper? Join 80,000+ soul menders in our email community and receive weekly reflections and gentle practices here.  Want to hear more like this? Start here: Episode 115: 4 Ways to Transform Your Relationship—Expert Tips to Heal Pain Points and Deepen Intimacy Episode 148: Dan Allendar on Healing, Intimacy, and Hard Fights Episode 137: The Mindful Marriage with Ron and Nan Deal

Sometimes the hardest limits we face are not external—they're the expectations we've quietly learned to live within. In Acts 3, we meet a man who has spent years sitting at the temple gate, asking for what he believes is possible. When Peter and John encounter him, they offer something entirely different—something he wasn't even expecting to receive. In this episode, Dr. Alison reflects on how limiting beliefs shape what we ask for, what we notice, and what we believe is available to us—and how God often meets us beyond those expectations. Today's Scripture is: Acts 3:1–10 Go Deeper: Episode 10: What are Limiting Beliefs? Episode 106: Transform Limiting Beliefs Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison's free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

There are moments when we find ourselves looping—replaying conversations, trying to make sense of what happened, analyzing every detail. We stay in our heads, searching for clarity This episode explores what it means to get stuck in our thoughts—and how, often, what we most need is not more analysis, but a return to presence, to relationship, and to the love already with us. Today's Scripture is: Luke 24:13–35 Go Deeper: Episode 51: The 12 Common Thinking Traps Episode 158: The Hidden Pain Behind Distressing Thoughts Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison's free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture is: Psalm 118 There are seasons in life when we are simply trying to get through. Holding it together. Managing what's hard. Surviving. And then there comes a moment when something begins to shift. In this episode, Dr. Alison reflects on what it means to relearn joy after survival—and how joy can return, gently and gradually, as we begin to feel safe again. Go Deeper: Episode 172: Daring Joy & Breaking Free From Toxic Positivity with Nicole Zasowski Episode 188: Tiny Joys, Big Healing : Retraining the Brain for Hope with Dr. MaryCatherine Mcdonald Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison's free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

He is risen! After walking through this Holy Week together—from safety, to betrayal, to suffering, to loss—we arrive at the moment that changes everything. Resurrection. New Life. In this short Easter bonus episode, Dr. Alison reflects on John 20 and the deeply personal nature of resurrection—how Love meets us, finds us, and calls us by name. This is the hope that allows us to face the hard places in our lives. This is the reason we can walk through grief without losing ourselves. Because what feels like an ending is not the end of the story. Today's Scripture is: John 20 Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison's free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, we've been walking through a special Easter devotional journey—following the story of Jesus as it unfolds from safety, to rupture, to suffering. Today, we arrive at Good Friday. This is the day everything seems to fall apart. The day marked by loss, grief, and deep disorientation. In John 19, we witness the final moments of Jesus' life—where hope appears to give way to death, and nothing makes sense in the way it once did. This episode creates space to sit in that reality—to acknowledge the weight of what is lost, and the very human experience of not yet knowing what comes next. Today's Scripture is: John 19 **Join me for a special Easter devotional on Sunday. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison's free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if love doesn't wait until you're ready… but meets you right in the middle of the mess? This week, as part of the Holy Week series on The Best of You Every Day, Dr. Alison offers a deeper dive into one of the most intimate and unsettling moments in the story of Jesus—the night before everything changes. At the table, surrounded by people who will betray, deny, and abandon him, Jesus doesn't withdraw. He doesn't wait for clarity or understanding. He offers himself anyway. If you've ever struggled to receive love… especially after being hurt, this episode will help you understand why. Let's explore: Why doesn't healing always feel comfortable in the moment? The reasons we sometimes struggle to receive love The difference between protecting yourself… and closing yourself off How to take one small step toward receiving love This conversation offers a gentle, faith-rooted invitation to slow down this Holy Week—to sit in the tension, the confusion, and the not-yet—and to begin receiving love right where you are, even if it feels unfamiliar, imperfect, or hard to trust. More Resources: Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram Want to go deeper? Join 80,000+ soul menders in our email community and receive weekly reflections and gentle practices here.  Want to hear more like this? Start here:

It's the week leading up to Easter, and each day we're walking through the story of Jesus—moving from safety, to rupture, to suffering, and ultimately, to love. Today, we enter into a quiet, but deeply powerful part of that journey: what it means to remain steady in the midst of suffering. In this passage, we're given a picture of resilience—as a grounded, daily returning to what sustains us. A kind of strength that stays open, even when life is hard. This episode explores how to stay present in difficulty without shutting down or losing yourself—and how resilience is formed, not all at once, but moment by moment. Today's Scripture is: Isaiah 50:4–9 Go Deeper: Episode 141: How Self-Compassion Strengthens Resilience with Aundi Kolber Episode 76: Finding the Strength to Move Forward After Loss with Granger Smith Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison's free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's the week leading up to Easter, and each day we're walking through the story of Jesus—moving from safety, to rupture, to suffering, and ultimately, to love. Today, we step into one of the most vulnerable and human moments in that story: betrayal. This episode explores what it means to face relational hurt without losing yourself—how to acknowledge the pain of betrayal while staying connected to what is true. Today's Scripture is: John 13:21–33, 36–38 Go Deeper: Episode 100: I Shouldn't Feel Betrayed by Someone I Trust with Steve Carter Episode 201: "It Must Be My Fault" with Dr. Peace Amadi Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison's free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's the week leading up to Easter, and so every reading this week is designed to guide us through the story of Jesus—moving from safety, to rupture, to suffering, and ultimately, to Love. Today, we begin with a grounding question:Where do I find safety? In this episode, we reflect on Psalm 27 and the invitation to locate our sense of safety not in circumstances, but in the steady presence of God. This is not about eliminating fear. It's about gently practicing a return—again and again—to what holds us. Today's Scripture is: Psalm 27: 1-8 Go Deeper: Find free resources integrating faith with psychology—including guided reflections, devotionals, and tools for emotional and spiritual growth—at dralisoncook.com. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison's free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to The Best of You Every Day. Today's Scripture is: 2 Corinthians 4:16–18 When life feels like it's wearing you down on the outside, something deeper is often growing within you. This episode is for anyone walking through a difficult season—when life feels heavy, uncertain, or slowly wearing you down. In 2 Corinthians 4:16–18, we explore the truth that even when outward circumstances are hard, something unseen can still be taking root within you. Together, we'll learn how to notice that inner renewal—and trust that God is at work in ways you can't always see. To Go Deeper: Get a free map of your soul & guided audio reflection here. Email us at info@dralisoncook.com with scriptures or topics you'd like us to feature on the podcast! Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison's free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices