The Best of You

Today's Scripture: Ephesians 5:21–33**Today's devotional is in response to listener requests.**In this episode, Dr. Alison Cook reflects on the often misunderstood language of submission. She explores the heart of Paul's teaching through the lens of Jesus: mutual reverence, self-giving love, and power expressed through care—not control. We explore:*What submission is not *Why Ephesians 5 begins with mutual submission and must be read through the way of Jesus*How religious language can sometimes reinforce fear, control, or self-abandonment*Why real love creates space for both people to become more whole, honest, and free*What mutuality looks like in relationships marked by dignity, accountability, and truthGo Deeper:Episode 56: Am I really Supposed to Die to Myself?Episode 55: Am I Supposed to Distrust Myself?Episode 5: What is Codependency and Why Does it Matter?Read the first 3 chapters of The Best of You here. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison's free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Why do certain situations overwhelm you while someone you love seems completely unaffected?  In this episode, Dr. Alison explores one of the most important questions we ask about ourselves: Why am I the way I am? Using the image of a seed planted in soil, she explains how your God-given wiring, childhood environment, sensitivity, and nervous system all work together to shape the person you are today. This conversation offers a compassionate framework for understanding yourself—and the people you love—in an honest, empowering way. (You'll want to share this episode with your loved ones!) You'll learn: Why your brain is like a plant How childhood shapes your mental and emotional health The difference between your wiring and your wounding The research behind “orchid children” and “dandelion children” How different kinds of “soil” shape your nervous system, relationships, resilience, and sense of safety Why highly sensitive people may struggle more in hard environments—and thrive more in healthy ones Why healing begins when you understand both the seed you were given and the soil that shaped you This episode will help you see your story—and your loved ones—with more clarity, compassion, and hope. More Resources: You can now preorder Dr. Alison's newest book, The Secure Soul, and immediately receive the first 3 chapters as well as early access to the companion guide! Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram Curious what Family Role may have shaped you? Take the Family Role Quiz to learn how you may be showing up in your relationships with others. Want to hear more like this? Start here: Episode 143: Reparenting Your Younger Self—How to Stop Seeking Approval From Others & Find Inner Security Episode 22: How to Build Trust with Yourself 

Today's Scripture: Jeremiah 17:5–8 In this episode, Dr. Alison Cook reflects on the powerful image of a tree planted by water. She explores what happens when we ask approval, productivity, perfectionism, control, or another person's response to carry the full weight of our security. We explore: *Why needing people is not the problem—but making one person your source can drain your soul *How approval, productivity, perfectionism, and control can become fragile root systems *Why fear-based attachment makes it hard to receive goodness *How to become like a tree planted by water, steady even when heat or drought comes *How secure attachment with God helps you receive love without clinging to it Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison's free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Mark 9:43–47**Today's devotional is in response to listener requests.**What do you do when you keep returning to the same behavior—the one that offers relief in the moment but leaves you feeling ashamed, disconnected, or farther from love? In this episode, Dr. Alison Cook reflects on Jesus' intense words in Mark 9:43–47 and reframes them not as an invitation to self-hatred, but as a call to radical honesty and freedom. We explore: *How to break a bad habit without getting trapped in shame*Why patterns like numbing, resentment, control, people-pleasing, comparison, or fantasy can pull us away from love*How compulsive behaviors shape your nervous system, desires, and relationships*Why willpower alone usually isn't enough to change a deeply patterned behavior*How creating distance from triggers can become a wise spiritual practice Go Deeper:Episode 197: A deep dive with Dr. Joel Al on spiritual warfare and personal responsibility Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison's free email community for ongoing reflection and support.While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Psalm 40:1–3 What do you do when you've prayed, waited, done the work, and still feel stuck in the middle of a pit? In this episode, Dr. Alison Cook reflects on Psalm 40:1–3 and the kind of patience that isn't passive, polished, or emotionally detached—but deeply honest before God. This episode is for anyone who feels worn down by waiting and needs a reminder that God hears, turns toward, and meets us with love one small step at a time. We explore: *Why biblical patience doesn't mean suppressing your emotions *Why Christian hope is different from forced optimism *What it means to find “a firm place to stand” *How God forms a new song in us slowly Go Deeper: Episode 77: The Dark Night of the Soul: Why It Happens and What It Means Episode 99: Exploring a Broken Spirit & the Dark Night of the Soul with Christopher Cook Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison's free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Ephesians 4:26–27 **Today's devotional is in response to listener requests.** Anger can be confusing—especially if you were taught it was bad, dangerous, or unspiritual. But Scripture gives us a more nuanced path: anger itself is not automatically sin, but it does need care.Today's episode looks at Ephesians 4 and the difference between anger as a signal and anger as a force that can harm when left untended. We explore: *Why anger is a mobilizing emotion *Why “do not let the sun go down” should not be used to force premature reconciliation *How to slow your body down before anger takes over *What it means to practice honesty without harm Go Deeper: Episode 83: How to Turn Anger, Sadness, and Fear Into Powerful Allies Episode 44: Why Anger Can Become a Surprising Friend Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison's free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When did being a responsible adult become synonymous with being serious all the time? Somewhere along the way, many of us learned that curiosity, playfulness, imagination, and wonder were things we needed to leave behind in order to grow up. But what if those qualities aren't distractions from a meaningful life? What if they're essential to it? In this episode, Dr. Alison Cook sits down with entrepreneur, creative visionary, and author Piera Gelardi to explore why playfulness is far more than a luxury—it's a powerful source of resilience, creativity, connection, and emotional well-being. Together, they unpack how stress, perfectionism, and the pressure to "have it all together" disconnect us from our authentic selves, and how reclaiming play can help us feel more alive. You'll learn: Why playfulness is a sign of emotional health How stress, perfectionism, and the "cool police" rob us of joy The surprising connection between play and resilience How to move from a pressured state into a playful state Practical ways to reconnect with curiosity, wonder, and creativity Why childlike qualities may actually be your greatest strengths This conversation is an invitation to loosen your grip, laugh a little more, and rediscover the parts of yourself that make you feel most alive. More Resources: Order Piera's book, The Playful Way: Creativity, Connection, and Joy Through Everyday Moments of Play You can now preorder Dr. Alison's newest book, The Secure Soul, and immediately receive the first 3 chapters as well as early access to the companion guide! Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram Curious what Family Role may have shaped you? Take the Family Role Quiz to learn how you may be showing up in your relationships with others. Want to hear more like this? Start here: Episode 188: Tiny Joys, Big Healing: Retraining the Brain for Hope with Dr MaryCatherine McDonald

Today's Scripture: Numbers 11:10–17There is a kind of exhaustion that comes from feeling responsible for too many people, emotions, needs, and outcomes. Today's episode looks at Moses' honest breaking point in Numbers 11 and the mercy of God's response. God does not shame Moses for being overwhelmed. He gives him support. *The hidden exhaustion of over-responsibility*Why capable people often struggle to receive help*How survival strategies become burnout*Why limits are not a failure of love*The mercy of shared burden Go Deeper: Take the Family Roles quiz Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison's free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Mark 1:35–39 When everyone needs something from you, it can feel loving—even responsible—to respond immediately. But there is a difference between compassion and being controlled by demand. Today's episode looks at Mark 1 and the surprising way Jesus responds when everyone is looking for him. He withdraws to pray, stays rooted in God, and moves from clarity instead of urgency. We explore: *Why over-functioning often starts with anxiety *What Jesus models instead *The difference between compassion and compulsion *Why solitude and prayer help with discernment *How to discern what is truly yours to carry today Go Deeper: Episode 138: Breaking Free from Over-Functioning: Discover the Hidden Cost of Always Being the Responsible One Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison's free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Psalm 46:1–7 When life feels unsteady, our bodies often know before our minds do. We tighten, scan, spiral, and reach for control—trying to make uncertainty disappear before we let ourselves rest. Today's episode walks through Psalm 46 and the promise that God is not our escape from trouble, but our ever-present help in trouble. In this episode, we explore: *The difference between spiritual grounding and spiritual bypassing *What Psalm 46 teaches us about refuge, strength, and control *How to return to God's presence when life feels unstable *One small embodied practice for finding steadiness today Go Deeper: Start reading about inner attachment, when you preorder The Secure Soul Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison's free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Colossians 3:12–15 Every morning, we get dressed before stepping into the world—but what are we wearing on the inside? In today's episode, we reflect on Colossians 3. This isn't about performing spiritual maturity or pretending hard feelings aren't there. It's about receiving the qualities of Christ deep within your own soul, so they can begin to shape how you show up for yourself and others. We explore: *How anxiety, resentment, shame, or defensiveness can become something you “wear” *Why identity comes before spiritual practice *How compassion and kindness are practiced (without bypassing what's hard) *A simple way to start your day Go Deeper: Preorder The Secure Soul now and get access to the first three chapters, plus my free masterclass, Healing the Wounds That Shape Us Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison's free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What does it actually mean to raise an emotionally mature child? In this powerful conversation, Dr. Alison Cook sits down with renowned psychologist and bestselling author Dr. Lindsay C. Gibson, whose groundbreaking book "Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents" helped millions name what they didn't receive growing up. Now, Dr. Gibson turns toward a new question: How do we become the kind of parents who help our children feel safe, seen, respected, and emotionally strong? Together, they explore the emotional foundation children truly need—not perfection, but presence. They unpack what emotional maturity looks like, the impact of being raised by an emotionally immature parent, and how we can begin to give our own children the kind of parenting they need. You'll explore: The signs of an emotionally immature parent What a “good enough” parent actually looks like How repair builds trust more than perfection does The dance of balancing connection and autonomy  How to create emotional safety for your child Whether you're parenting toddlers, teenagers, or adult children—or simply learning how to become more emotionally mature yourself—this conversation offers a hopeful, grounded framework for growth. Because healthy parenting isn't about raising perfect kids. It's about creating the kind of emotional soil where both you and your child can grow. More Resources: Order Dr. Lindsay's new book, How to Raise an Emotionally Mature Child: Your Blueprint to a Lifetime of Happiness and Success for Your Child You can now preorder Dr. Alison's newest book, The Secure Soul, and immediately receive the first 3 chapters as well as early access to the companion guide! Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram Curious what Family Role may have shaped you? Take the Family Role Quiz to learn how you may be showing up in your relationships with others. Want to hear more like this? Start here: Episode 175: A Game-Changing Toolkit to Help Kids Conquer Worry and Build Courage with David Thomas and Sissy Goff Episode 68: How Not to Lose Yourself—Remaining You While Raising Them with Alli Worthington

Today's Scripture: 1 Samuel 3:1–10 Have you ever wondered if God was speaking, but you weren't sure? In today's episode, we look at the story of Samuel learning to recognize God's voice. His story reminds us that discernment is not always instant clarity. Sometimes it begins with practice, humility, repetition, and the help of wise guides. We explore: *Why discernment often takes practice *How anxiety and urgency can masquerade as guidance *How your nervous system impacts your ability to listen *What Samuel teaches us about hearing God with humility and openness Go Deeper: Check out our weekly deep-dive episodes each Thursday on The Best of You Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison's free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: John 2:1–11 What do you do when you've run out of energy, patience, joy, or capacity? In today's episode, we look at Jesus' first miracle at the wedding in Cana, where the wine runs out and Jesus quietly meets a hidden need. This passage offers a tender picture of a God who does not shame our lack, but meets us with dignity and generosity. We explore: *Why running out does not mean you've failed *How burnout shows up in your body and nervous system *Why honest naming can become a prayer *How Jesus meets hidden depletion before it becomes public shame *One small way to bring your burn-out to God today Go Deeper: Take the Family Roles quiz Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison's free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Psalm 8:1-9 Have you ever looked up at the sky and felt both small and strangely held? In this episode, Dr. Alison explores Psalm 8 and the healing power of wonder. We'll look at how awe quiets the anxious ego, helps the nervous system soften, and reminds us that being small does not mean being insignificant. We explore: *Why awe helps interrupt anxiety and overcontrol *The difference between humility and self-erasure *How wonder restores your sense of belovedness *Why childlike faith begins with receiving, not striving Go Deeper: Episode 142: Digital Detox—Surprising Insights from 7 Screen-Free Weeks with Monks & Amish Farmers Featuring Carlos Whittaker Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison's free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Hebrews 10:24–25 **Today's devotional is in response to listener requests.** If you've ever heard “do not give up meeting together” and felt guilt rise in your body, this episode is for you. In today's reflection on Hebrews 10:24–25, Dr. Alison offers a compassionate look at church hurt, spiritual community, and why this passage was never meant to be used as a weapon. We explore: *How church hurt and religious trauma can shape your nervous system *Signs of an unhealthy community *How to discern a healthy spiritual community *How to take slow, wise steps toward connection after religious harm Go Deeper: Episode 17: What is Church Hurt and How do I Heal? Episode 163: Healing Spiritual Wounds – Understanding Abuse in Faith Spaces with Rachael Clinton Chen Episode 153: Embodied Healing, Spiritual Trauma, and the Journey Home to Your Body with Dr. Hillary McBride Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison's free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if getting “triggered” isn't the problem… but a signal? We all have moments where our body reacts fast—your heart races, your defenses go up, and suddenly you're not responding from your wisest self. In this episode, Dr. Alison sits down with Dr. Kelly Flanagan to explore what's really happening in those moments—and how to respond with more clarity, connection, and intention. Together, they unpack what's happening behind reactivity and what it looks like to interrupt that cycle in real time. You'll learn: Why being triggered is a normal nervous system response How to notice your reactions before they take over The difference between protection mode and connection mode How to set boundaries without escalating conflict Why an open heart leads to wiser—not weaker—boundaries If you've ever felt stuck in reactive patterns in your relationships, this conversation offers a grounded, compassionate way forward. More Resources: Order Dr. Kelly Flanagan's new book, The Road Less Triggered. You can preorder Dr. Alison's newest book, The Secure Soul, and immediately receive the first 3 chapters as well as early access to the companion guide! Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram Curious what Family Role may have shaped you? Take the Family Role Quiz to learn how you may be showing up in your relationships with others. Want to hear more like this? Start here: Episode 203: Staying Close When Connection Feels Hard: The Relationship Skills No One Has Taught You Episode 180: When People Push Your Buttons — The Power of Curiosity Over Control

Today's Scripture: Ruth 1:16–18 What's the difference between love that strengthens your soul and loyalty that slowly erases you? In today's reflection on Ruth 1, Dr. Alison Cook explores Ruth's freely chosen commitment to Naomi—and why healthy love never uses guilt, pressure, or control to make someone stay. This episode offers a nuanced look at staying, leaving, agency, and the kind of attachment that is faithful, honest, and free. We explore: *How to recognize the difference between chosen love and fear-based loyalty *Why Ruth's commitment to Naomi is not a picture of codependency *How secure attachment gives people agency instead of trapping them *Why guilt-driven love can slowly lead to self-erasure *When staying can be rooted in freedom—and when leaving may be an act of wisdom Go Deeper: Start reading about inner attachment, when you preorder The Secure Soul Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison's free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Matthew 5:29–30 **Today's devotional is in response to listener requests.** Some Bible passages don't just make us think—they make our bodies brace. In today's reflection on Matthew 5:29–30, Dr. Alison Cook offers a compassionate way to read one of Jesus' hardest teachings without fear, shame, or self-condemnation. This episode explores: *How fear-based religion can shape the way your body hears Scripture *What happens in the brain when the amygdala perceives threat *Why repentance means turning toward love, not turning against yourself *How God's holiness always leads us toward healing and wholeness. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison's free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Psalm 121:1–8 When life feels uncertain, your nervous system may start scanning for safety—looking for reassurance, protection, or some solid place to land. In today's reflection on Psalm 121, Dr. Alison Cook explores how God meets us in that vulnerable place as the One who watches over our coming and going. We explore: *Why your nervous system scans for safety *How hypervigilance develops *Why “God watches over you” may take time to feel true in your body *How dwelling on scripture can slowly retrain your soul toward safety Go Deeper: Get my Masterclass "Healing the Wounds that Shape Us" when you preorder The Secure Soul Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison's free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Galatians 1:10 Have you ever said yes when something inside you wanted to say no? In today's episode, we look at Galatians 1:10 and the hidden cost of living for approval. In this episode, you'll learn: *How approval-seeking disconnects you from your own voice *How early family roles shape your need for approval *Why the helper, peacekeeper, or responsible one within may still be leading •How to find your own inner compass instead Go Deeper: Take our new Family Roles Quiz! Episode 147: Making Sense of Your Family Story with Adam Young Episode 85: The Goal of a Healthy Family & 6 Roles We Take on in Dysfunction Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison's free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if the dry, weary place you're in isn't something to escape—but a place where God is working? So many of us know that quiet middle space: you're not in crisis, but you're not exactly flourishing either. You're tired, spiritually dry, disconnected, or simply going through the motions. It's not dramatic enough to call a breakdown, but something in you knows you're weary. In this episode, Dr. Alison and author/priest Tish Harrison Warren explore what grows in these weary places—and why seasons of spiritual dryness, burnout, and languishing aren't signs that something is wrong with you. They may be part of how God forms you. Together, they talk about aridity, resilience, stability, and what it means to stay present to the life you actually have instead of constantly looking for a way out. You'll discover: Why spiritual dryness doesn't mean you're failing The difference between depression, burnout, and languishing What the desert fathers and mothers can teach us about resilience Why “staying in your cell” can become a path of formation How ordinary repair, routines, and relationships shape us over time What it means to let where you are do its work How hope changes the way we endure hard seasons This conversation offers a counter-cultural invitation: you don't have to rush out of the weary place. There may be something growing there. More Resources:

Today's Scripture: 1 Samuel 16:1–7 Have you ever felt overlooked— not chosen, not noticed, not even considered? In today's episode, we look at the story of Samuel anointing David and what it reveals about how easily we evaluate ourselves and others by what is visible. We explore: *How the halo effect shapes who gets noticed, chosen, or valued *Why external validation is a shaky foundation for your identity *How to stop measuring your worth by systems that were never designed to see you clearly *What David's story reveals about hidden faithfulness, quiet seasons, and the God who sees what others miss Go Deeper: Dr. Alison shares her journey through feeling unseen in The Secure Soul. Click here to read the first 3 chapters & join free masterclass on the wounds that shape you Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison's free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Luke 7:37–39 Have you ever wanted to bring something real into the light—but felt afraid of being judged? In today's episode, we look at the woman in Luke 7 who walks into a room full of people who already think they know her story and brings her whole self to the feet of Jesus. This passage shows us the difference between shame that keeps us hiding and the kind of love that helps us come close. We'll explore: *Why shame thrives in secrecy *Why people judge & how it affects both the person judging & others *The corrective emotional experience of dignity, compassion, and love found in Jesus Go Deeper: Episode 23: Am I Wounded or am I Sinful? Read the first 3 Chapters of my new book The Secure Soul, when you preorder Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison's free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Psalm 32:3–7 Have you ever carried something so long that it started to feel normal? In today's episode, we look at Psalm 32 and what happens when hidden guilt, shame, or regret stays buried inside the body and soul. I'll walk you through the difference between true guilt and shame, why suppression can take such a physical toll, and how honest confession can become a doorway into freedom, safety, and deeper connection with God. We'll explore: *Why hidden guilt can show up in your body as tension, exhaustion, or anxiety *The difference between true guilt and shame *What psychology research us shows us about confession as a path toward safety, not rejection *How God meets you with mercy when you stop hiding Go Deeper: Read True Guilt vs. False Guilt on my blog Visit dralisoncook.com/podcast and type “guilt” into the search bar to find past episodes on this topic. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison's free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: 2 Timothy 1:7There's a kind of exhaustion that comes from feeling like nothing you do makes a difference. In today's episode, Dr. Alison Cook explores 2 Timothy 1:7 and the psychology of feeling powerless. Drawing on the concept of learned helplessness and nervous system overwhelm, she unpacks why you may feel stuck, shut down, or unable to act—and how to begin reclaiming your voice, one small step at a time. We'll explore: *What learned helplessness is and how it shapes your sense of agency*Why feeling powerless isn't weakness—but a nervous system adaptation*The difference between true power vs. control or over-functioning*A simple, grounded way to begin reclaiming your voice todayGo Deeper:Read the first 3 chapters of The Best of YouRead blog post on Confident Leadership Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever replayed a conversation over and over in your mind? Maybe it was something your partner said. A text that felt off. A moment at work. A look on someone's face. Suddenly your mind is looping, analyzing, judging, and trying to solve something that never seems to resolve. Today's conversation with science writer Donna Jackson Nakazawa is about rumination—what many of us experience as overthinking, thought spirals, or getting mentally stuck. Donna brings together powerful neuroscience, personal story, and practical tools to help us understand why our minds loop, what those loops are trying to show us, and how we can begin to interrupt them with compassion and clarity. We explore: Why rumination is not random—and what it reveals The difference between productive reflection and a mental loop that leaves you feeling worse Why social media can trigger rumination so quickly Donna's MIST framework for stopping the spiral This conversation is especially for you if you've ever thought, Why can't I just let this go? or Why am I still thinking about this? Get Donna's new book, Mind Drama here Connect with Donna here Preorder my brand new book The Secure Soul Want to hear more episodes like this? Start here: Episode 158:  Your Pain Has a Name: The Deeper Hurt Behind Distressing Thoughts with Therapist Monica DiCristina Episode 51: The 12 Common Thinking Traps, Mind Reading, Mental Filters, and How To Stop Taking Things Personally

Today's Scripture: 2 Kings 5:1–14Why do we resist the very things that could actually help us heal? In today's episode, Dr. Alison Cook explores the story of Naaman in 2 Kings 5 and the deeply human tendency to reject simple, meaningful steps toward healing. With insight from psychology and identity formation, she unpacks why small, ordinary actions can feel threatening—especially when your sense of self has been built around strength, control, or self-sufficiency. We'll explore:*Why we resist change—even when we want it*How the false self and identity can block healing*Why simple solutions can feel “too small” for deep pain*How small, repeated steps become the pathway to real transformation Go Deeper:Episode 199: How the Body Teaches the Soul with Justin Whitmel EarleyCheck out our new website with all the daily episodes linked. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Mark 4:35–41What happens when fear takes over your body—and you can't think clearly? In today's episode, Dr. Alison Cook explores the story of Jesus calming the storm in Mark 4, alongside the psychology of panic, fear, and the nervous system. She explains why your body goes into fight-or-flight mode, why you feel the urge to fix or control everything, and how to gently return to calm. We'll explore:*What's happening in your brain during panic *Why anxiety can feel urgent and all-consuming*The link between fear, over-functioning, and control*A simple grounding practice to help your body return to calm and presenceGo Deeper:Episode 185: A Real-Time Practice to Help You Return to God's Loving Presence When You're Anxious or OverwhelmedEpisode 129: Understanding Anxiety: A Step-by-Step Guide to Finding Calm, Advocating For Yourself, and Cultivating Inner ResilienceEmail your topics and passage ideas at info@dralisoncook.comSign up for Dr. Alison's free weekly email for more insight and resources. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Psalm 73:1–3, 12–17 Have you ever looked at someone else's life and felt that quiet ache—like you're somehow behind? In today's episode, Dr. Alison Cook explores Psalm 73 and the deeply human struggle of comparison. With insight from psychology and attachment patterns, she unpacks why comparison can feel so destabilizing—and how to return to your own life with clarity and compassion. We explore:*Why upward social comparison can distort your sense of worth*How comparison pulls you out of your own life and into an imagined hierarchy*The connection between comparison, self-doubt, and over-functioning*Why you can't “think” your way out of comparison—and what actually helps*A grounding practice to help you return to your own life and God's presence Go Deeper:Episode 183: The Real Reason You Compare Yourself (and How to Heal It)When Life Feels Unfair (and Why Comparison Keeps you Stuck Read the first 3 chapters of I Shouldn't Feel This Way Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: James 1:5–8Struggling to make a decision or stuck in overthinking? In this episode, Dr. Alison explores the real reason behind indecision and how learning to work with the different parts of you can help you find clarity and move forward. We explore:*Indecision and overthinking*Inner conflict and parts work*Decision fatigue and self-doubt*Finding clarity without forcing answers Go Deeper:Get a guided journal and the first 3 chapters of I Shouldn't Feel This Way here Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if the reason you feel stuck… isn't because something is wrong with you, but because different parts of you are pulling in different directions? We all know that feeling: one part of you wants to follow through, while another part resists. And often, one side takes over… leaving you with regret or confusion afterward. In this episode, Dr. Alison is joined by IFS therapist and best-selling author Jenna Riemersma to explore what's really happening beneath that inner conflict and how to respond differently. Because the goal isn't to fight those parts of you. It's to understand them. Together, they walk through Jenna's simple, practical framework that helps you move toward yourself with curiosity and compassion instead of shame or control. You'll explore: Why the parts of you that frustrate you most may be trying to help What keeps you stuck in the same inner battles again and again The surprising shift that can calm the conflict inside How to know when to share what's happening inside you—and when it's wiser to protect yourself What real relief can look like when you stop fighting yourself If you've ever felt stuck in cycles of overthinking, self-criticism, or reacting in ways you later regret, this conversation will help you understand why and what to do in the moment. Want to go deeper? Get Jenna's new book, Move Toward. Get Jenna's free Guided Meditations and Journaling Worksheets here.  Connect further with ⁠@dralisoncook⁠ on Instagram Join 80,000+ soul tenders in our email community and receive weekly reflections and gentle practices on parts work ⁠here⁠.  Want to hear more like this? Start here: Episode 160:  When You Feel Unwanted—Meeting the Parts of You That Long to Belong with IFS Therapist Tammy Sollenberger Episode 108: Inside Out—Internal Family Systems, Therapy, and High-Performing Protectors with Jenna Riemersma 

Today's Scripture: Ecclesiastes 3:1–11If you feel stuck in a season that won't change, this episode offers a grounded, compassionate way to navigate uncertainty without forcing what isn't ready. We explore:*Emotional stuckness and waiting*Anxiety about the future*Control vs. surrender*Finding peace in the uncertaintyEmail us at info@dralisoncook.com with topics or passages you'd like us to cover! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Matthew 20:1–16Ever notice how quickly comparison can steal your peace—even when life is going well? In this episode, Dr. Alison explores the psychology of social comparison and how it shapes your sense of worth, helping you move from insecurity to grounded confidence . We explore:*Social comparison and insecurity*Why comparison feels like a threat*Letting go of keeping score*Finding peace in your own storyGo Deeper:Episode 183: The Real Reason You Compare Yourself—and How to Heal ItRead my free e-book She's Better Than Me here Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Psalm 127:1–2If you feel constantly exhausted, it may not be about doing too much—but about carrying what was never yours to carry. In this episode, Dr. Alison explores Psalm 127 and the concept of “anxious toil,” integrating attachment theory and nervous system insight to help you release over-responsibility and rediscover rest. We explore:*Overfunctioning and burnout*Hypervigilance and the nervous system*How we start to build the wrong thingGo Deeper:Episode 138: Breaking Free from Overfunctioning—Discover the Hidden Costs of Always Being 'The Responsible One'Check out our new webpage here Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture is: 1 Thessalonians 5:9–11 In a culture that prizes independence, this episode offers a countercultural truth: healing happens in connection. Drawing on both Scripture and research on community and mental health, Dr. Alison explores how small, consistent relationships can restore your sense of belonging. In this episode: *Why community is essential for emotional health *Research on connection, resilience, and well-being *The power of micro-connections (small, daily interactions) *How to rebuild trust after relational hurt or church hurt *What mutual, healthy connection really looks like Go Deeper: Episode 17: What is Church Hurt and How do I Heal It? Episode 181: The Healing Power of Safe People (Not Just Safe Spaces) Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison's free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When a diagnosis, chronic illness, or unexpected health challenge enters your life, it can divide your story into a before and after. And often, we don't have language for what's happening beneath the surface. In this episode, Dr. Alison and Dr. James C. Jackson explore the concept of medical trauma—and how it impacts not just your body, but your identity, your relationships, and your sense of meaning. Because medical trauma isn't just about what happened to you physically. It's about what it begins to reshape internally—your sense of safety, control, and who you are. If you've ever felt disoriented, overwhelmed, or like life doesn't fit the way it used to… this conversation will help you understand why and what healing can look like. You'll explore: What medical trauma is and why it's often overlooked The psychological impact of diagnosis, chronic illness, and navigating healthcare How suffering can reshape your identity—and how to gently reframe it The role of community in healing and why support matters What it means to live in the “both/and” of grief and hope This conversation offers a compassionate path forward—helping you learn how to live with what's hard without letting it define all of who you are. Purchase Reclaiming Your Life From Medical Trauma here. Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram Want to go deeper? Join 80,000+ soul menders in our email community and receive weekly reflections and gentle practices on parts work here.  Want to hear more like this? Start here: Episode 64: Women's Health—Menopause, Hormones, Depression and How to Advocate for Yourself Through Your Body's Changes Episode 19: My Stroke, A Process of Healing, and How I Began to Write The Best of You

Today's Scripture is: Proverbs 27:6 **Today's devotional is in response to listener requests.** When a relationship feels powerful, fast, and deeply affirming, it can be hard to slow down and discern what's real. This episode unpacks the difference between emotional intensity and genuine love—helping you recognize red flags, trust your intuition, and move toward steady, grounded connection. In this episode: *Why intensity ≠ intimacy *The psychology behind fast attachment and emotional acceleration *Subtle signs of love bombing and relational urgency *How to evaluate consistency over chemistry *What it means to build safe, sustainable connection Go Deeper: Episode 178: How to Recognize Toxic Tactics, and Stop Taking the Bait Episode 24: Boundaries, the Spectrum of Toxicity, and a Note About Evil Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison's free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture is: Matthew 5:33-37 Why is it so hard to say what we really mean? This episode explores the emotional and psychological roots of people-pleasing, over-explaining, and softening our truth. With insight from Scripture and psychology, you'll learn how to move toward clarity, integrity, and more honest connection. In this episode: *The hidden cost of people-pleasing and overfunctioning *How empathy and attunement can make boundaries harder *The role of the nervous system in saying yes or no *Why clarity actually creates deeper connection *Simple ways to practice honest communication without guilt Go Deeper: Episode 14: The Fawn Response & the Hidden Root of People Pleasing Episode 171: Why People Pleasing Actually Makes You Feel More Alone, and 3 Steps to Create Real Connection Learn healthy boundaries in The Best of You - get the first 3 chapters free here. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison's free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture is: Psalm 68:4-10 If you've felt the ache of loneliness, this episode offers a deeply grounding reminder: your longing for connection is not a weakness, it's part of how you were created. Blending Scripture with attachment psychology, Dr. Alison explores how God meets us within loneliness, not just after it's resolved. In this episode: *The difference between loneliness and disconnection *How attachment needs shape your emotional world *Why loneliness is a signal, not a failure *A reframe of the “in-between” (wilderness) season *How to notice small, real forms of connection already present Go Deeper: Episode 142: How to Honor & Set Boundaries with Sadness & Loneliness Visit our new The Best of You Every Day web page here Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison's free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture is: Romans 12:9–18 **Today's devotional is in response to listener requests.** "Hate what is evil" and "bless those who persecute you" can feel like an impossible tension — until you understand what Paul is actually asking for. This episode unpacks one of scripture's most demanding passages and makes the case that clarity and love are not opposites. We explore: We'll explore: -The difference between naming harm and becoming hardened by it -What the research tells us about resentment and what chronic unforgiveness does to our bodies and brains -The two dimensions of forgiveness — and why neither requires you to minimize harm or trust someone who hasn't earned it We love hearing from you! If there is a topic or Scripture you'd like us to cover on the podcast, please email us at info@dralisoncook.com Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison's free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if procrastination isn't about laziness… but a disconnect between who you want to be and what you actually do? So many of us carry goals we care deeply about: habits we want to build, changes we long to make, ways we want to grow. And yet, we find ourselves stuck in the same patterns, circling the same resistance, wondering why it's so hard to follow through. In this episode, Dr. Alison Cook and goals expert and New York Times bestselling author Jon Acuff explore what's really happening beneath procrastination and how to finally begin moving forward. Because procrastination isn't a character flaw. It's a gap. A gap between your intentions and your actions. And over time, that gap can quietly erode something deeper: your trust in yourself. If you've ever felt stuck, overwhelmed by your goals, or caught in cycles of starting and stopping… this conversation will help you understand why and what to do next. You'll explore: Why procrastination isn't about laziness and what's actually driving it The hidden impact of broken self-trust (and how to begin rebuilding it) How your “soundtracks” (repetitive thoughts) shape your actions and results The real reason discipline alone doesn't work and what does The 4 key places people get stuck in the growth process (and how to move forward) This conversation offers a practical, compassionate path forward, helping you close the gap between who you want to be and how you're actually living, one small step at a time. More Resources: Make sure to grab Jon Acuff's latest book Procrastination Proof: Never Get Stuck Again and then claim $97 worth of free bonuses. Take Jon's free procrastination profile here. Connect further with ⁠@dralisoncook⁠ on Instagram Want to go deeper with Dr. Alison? Join 80,000+ soul menders in our email community and receive weekly reflections and gentle practices here.  Want to hear more like this? Start here: Episode 199: How the Body Teaches the Soul with Justin Whitmel Earley Episode 157: Braving Change—3 Ways to Get Unstuck and Transform Guilt and Regret