The Best of You

Today's Scripture: Ephesians 1:3–12 **Today's devotional is in response to listener requests.** Why is it so hard to receive a love that's freely given—especially if you've learned that love has to be earned, approval is conditional, or goodness is for other people? In today's episode, Dr. Alison Cook reflects on Paul's astonishing words about blessing, belovedness, adoption, redemption, forgiveness, and grace. Before Paul gives the Ephesians instructions for how to live, he reminds them who they already are in Christ. We explore: *Why responsibility can feel safer than receiving*What a shame schema is and how it filters out goodness*Why love, grace, and belonging can feel threatening*The difference between entitlement and true belonging*How to live from belovedness instead of working for it Go Deeper: If you struggle to sense God's love, check out Dr. Alison's new book The Secure Soul - start reading today when you preorder. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison's free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Scripture is powerful.  It has the power to comfort, guide, convict, and restore. But when it's taken out of context or used to control, it can also leave deep wounds. In this conversation, Dr. Alison sits down with theologian and Mending the Soul co-founder Dr. Steven Tracy to explore how Scripture can be used as medicine—or as poison—for those who have experienced abuse. Together, they unpack some of the most commonly misused passages around submission, forgiveness, honoring parents, and divorce, while offering a more faithful way of reading Scripture: one that reflects God's heart for the vulnerable, the oppressed, and the wounded. Here's what you'll cover * Why spiritually abusive people often weaponize Scripture* How to recognize the difference between biblical truth and spiritual manipulation* What God reveals about His heart for those experiencing abuse* Why humility matters when we interpret Scripture* How healthy boundaries honor both God and human dignity* How survivors can begin rebuilding trust in both God and His Word Whether you've experienced spiritual abuse yourself, love someone who has, or simply want to handle Scripture with greater wisdom and compassion, this conversation offers both clarity and hope. Because God's Word was never meant to keep you trapped in harm. It was always meant to lead you toward healing. More Resources: You can now preorder Dr. Alison's newest book, The Secure Soul, and immediately receive the first 3 chapters as well as early access to the companion guide! Read Dr. Steven Tracy's book: To Heal or Harm Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram Curious what Family Role may have shaped you? Take the Family Role Quiz to learn how you may be showing up in your relationships with others. Want to hear more like this? Start here: Episode 163: Healing Spiritual Wounds – Understanding Abuse in Faith Spaces Episode 17: What is Church Hurt and How Do I Heal?

Today's Scripture: Zechariah 8:4–5 What if one of the clearest signs of healing isn't just that danger ends—but that joy returns? In today's episode, Dr. Alison Cook reflects on Zechariah's beautiful vision of restoration: elderly men and women sitting safely in the streets, and children playing again. It's a picture of hope after devastation, safety after fear, and joy returning to the most vulnerable places. We explore:*Why play is a sign of safety and healing*How survival mode can crowd out joy, creativity, and delight*What Zechariah's vision teaches us about shalom and restoration*Why God's vision of healing includes the vulnerable, the elderly, and the young*How to help the younger parts of you remember what safety feels like Go Deeper: Episode 172: Daring Joy: Breaking Free from Fear, Cynicism, and Toxic Positivity with Therapist Nicole Zasowski Episode 198: Tiny Joys, Big Healing: Retraining the Brain for Hope with Dr MaryCatherine McDonald Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison's free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Mark 5:1–20 Have you ever started answering to a name your pain gave you? In today's episode, Dr. Alison Cook reflects on the story of the man living among the tombs in Mark 5—a man whose torment had become his name. When Jesus asks, “What is your name?” he does not ask in order to shame him, but to surface what has claimed him and begin the work of setting him free. We explore: *How pain can become part of your identity *The difference between carrying a wound and becoming defined by it Why shame collapses the self and makes change feel impossible *How Jesus separates who you are from what has tormented you *What it means to receive a truer name from God Go Deeper: Episode 197: A deep dive with Dr. Joel Muddamalle on spiritual warfare and personal responsibility Episode 158: Your Pain Has a Name: The Deeper Hurt Behind Distressing Thoughts with Monica DiCristina Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison's free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Psalm 86:1–7 What do you do when you feel so tired, stretched thin, or aware of your need that even prayer feels vulnerable? In today's episode, Dr. Alison Cook reflects on the tender image of a God who bends low to hear us. This passage gives us permission to bring our need honestly into God's presence—not as a shame statement, but as a truth statement. We explore: *Why need can feel so vulnerable *How attachment wounds shape the way we approach God *Why we often pray around our need instead of from our need *The difference between humility and shame *How God meets us in the poor and needy places of the soul Go Deeper: If you struggle to sense God's nearness, check out Dr. Alison's new book, The Secure Soul. Start reading when you pre-order now. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison's free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Romans 12:15**Today's devotional is in response to listener requests.**In this episode, Dr. Alison Cook reflects on the holy work of mourning with those who mourn. She explores why grief often needs presence more than advice, and how attunement, co-regulation, and the way of Jesus help us sit with sorrow without rushing to fix it. We explore:*Why grief can feel so isolating*What it means to offer attuned presence instead of advice, fixing, or forced comfort*Why co-regulation helps a grieving person feel less alone*How Jesus responds to grief*How to sit with the grieving parts of your own soul with tenderness and love Go Deeper:Episode 133: Navigating the 6 Stages of Grief with David KesslerEpisode 98: Why Your Grief Matters and How to Support Those Who Are Grieving with Chaplain JS Park Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if healing isn't just about changing your circumstances—but also tending what's been growing inside of you? Last week, we explored the metaphor of seed and soil: the way your nature and your nurture shape who you become. This week, we're going deeper. Because your inner world isn't just one plant—it's more like a whole garden. In this episode, we'll explore the difference between tending your inner garden and tending the outer soil around you. You'll learn why old patterns can still show up even after you've changed your life, why boundaries are not punishment, and how real healing involves both compassion for what grew inside of you and courage to change what surrounds you now. Here's what we cover: *How to recognize the tender, resilient, overgrown, and buried parts of your inner world *Why changing your outer environment helps—but doesn't automatically heal the inner one *The difference between boundaries as punishment and boundaries as self-stewardship *How differentiation helps you stay connected to yourself, even in difficult relationships *Why real change is possible, even if the soil around you has been hard Real healing is rarely a single breakthrough moment. It's the slow, faithful work of tending what has been entrusted to you, one step at a time. More Resources: You can now preorder Dr. Alison's newest book, The Secure Soul, and immediately receive the first 3 chapters as well as early access to the companion guide! Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram Curious what Family Role may have shaped you? Take the Family Role Quiz to learn how you may be showing up in your relationships with others. Want to hear more like this? Start here: Episode 212: Why You Feel Everything So Deeply (and Other People Don't): Childhood, Sensitivity & the Nervous System Episode 20: Making Peace with Yourself (& Facing Your Fear of Disappointing Other People)

Today's Scripture: 1 Samuel 20:12–17In this episode, Dr. Alison Cook reflects on the complicated loyalty Jonathan faces as Saul's son and David's friend. Through the lens of family systems, she explores what happens when love, truth, guilt, and unhealthy family roles collide. We explore:*Why family loyalty does not mean covering for harm or pretending everything is okay*How family systems often work to maintain silence, balance, and familiar roles*What differentiation means—and why it helps you stay connected without abandoning yourself*Why guilt can show up when you step out of an old family role*How to name what is true with wisdom, courage, and love Go Deeper:Take the Family Roles QuizEpisode 85: The Goal of a Health Family & 6 Roles We Take On in DysfunctionEpisode 147: Making Sense of Your Family Story with Adam YoungEpisode 161: Healing From Dysfunctional Family Patterns with Jerry Wise Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Mark 6:31-32**Today's devotional is in response to listener requests.**In this episode, Dr. Alison Cook reflects on Jesus' tender invitation to come away to a quiet place and rest. She explores overstimulation, constant availability, and why honoring your limits is not a failure of love—it may be what helps you return to love. We explore:*Why overstimulation is often a capacity issue*How noise, touch, screens, interruptions, and emotional demands affect your nervous system*Why Jesus honors human limits instead of shaming them*How to step away from the noise without abandoning the people you love*Why quiet, rest, and spaciousness are so importantGo Deeper:Episode 176: Intimacy with God in a Noisy World with Dr. Stephen MacchiaEpisode 122: Balancing Mental, Emotional, and Spiritual Health with John Mark Comer Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Psalm 34: 4-8In this episode, Dr. Alison Cook reflects on what it means to bring fear into the presence of God. Instead of shaming fear or trying to force it away, she offers a compassionate way to recognize the fearful places within us and return to love. We explore:*Why fear can become a quiet but powerful inner leader*How fear and shame work together to keep us hiding*What it means to recognize fear without letting it run the whole system*Why “taste and see” invites us to experience God's goodness in an embodied way*How secure attachment with God begins as we bring fearful parts of us into loving presence Go Deeper:Recognize fearful places within through Dr. Alison's new book & workbook The Secure Soul - you can start reading today when you preorder! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Ephesians 5:21–33**Today's devotional is in response to listener requests.**In this episode, Dr. Alison Cook reflects on the often misunderstood language of submission. She explores the heart of Paul's teaching through the lens of Jesus: mutual reverence, self-giving love, and power expressed through care—not control. We explore:*What submission is not *Why Ephesians 5 begins with mutual submission and must be read through the way of Jesus*How religious language can sometimes reinforce fear, control, or self-abandonment*Why real love creates space for both people to become more whole, honest, and free*What mutuality looks like in relationships marked by dignity, accountability, and truthGo Deeper:Episode 56: Am I really Supposed to Die to Myself?Episode 55: Am I Supposed to Distrust Myself?Episode 5: What is Codependency and Why Does it Matter?Read the first 3 chapters of The Best of You here. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison's free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Why do certain situations overwhelm you while someone you love seems completely unaffected?  In this episode, Dr. Alison explores one of the most important questions we ask about ourselves: Why am I the way I am? Using the image of a seed planted in soil, she explains how your God-given wiring, childhood environment, sensitivity, and nervous system all work together to shape the person you are today. This conversation offers a compassionate framework for understanding yourself—and the people you love—in an honest, empowering way. (You'll want to share this episode with your loved ones!) You'll learn: Why your brain is like a plant How childhood shapes your mental and emotional health The difference between your wiring and your wounding The research behind “orchid children” and “dandelion children” How different kinds of “soil” shape your nervous system, relationships, resilience, and sense of safety Why highly sensitive people may struggle more in hard environments—and thrive more in healthy ones Why healing begins when you understand both the seed you were given and the soil that shaped you This episode will help you see your story—and your loved ones—with more clarity, compassion, and hope. More Resources: You can now preorder Dr. Alison's newest book, The Secure Soul, and immediately receive the first 3 chapters as well as early access to the companion guide! Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram Curious what Family Role may have shaped you? Take the Family Role Quiz to learn how you may be showing up in your relationships with others. Want to hear more like this? Start here: Episode 143: Reparenting Your Younger Self—How to Stop Seeking Approval From Others & Find Inner Security Episode 22: How to Build Trust with Yourself 

Today's Scripture: Jeremiah 17:5–8 In this episode, Dr. Alison Cook reflects on the powerful image of a tree planted by water. She explores what happens when we ask approval, productivity, perfectionism, control, or another person's response to carry the full weight of our security. We explore: *Why needing people is not the problem—but making one person your source can drain your soul *How approval, productivity, perfectionism, and control can become fragile root systems *Why fear-based attachment makes it hard to receive goodness *How to become like a tree planted by water, steady even when heat or drought comes *How secure attachment with God helps you receive love without clinging to it Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison's free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Mark 9:43–47**Today's devotional is in response to listener requests.**What do you do when you keep returning to the same behavior—the one that offers relief in the moment but leaves you feeling ashamed, disconnected, or farther from love? In this episode, Dr. Alison Cook reflects on Jesus' intense words in Mark 9:43–47 and reframes them not as an invitation to self-hatred, but as a call to radical honesty and freedom. We explore: *How to break a bad habit without getting trapped in shame*Why patterns like numbing, resentment, control, people-pleasing, comparison, or fantasy can pull us away from love*How compulsive behaviors shape your nervous system, desires, and relationships*Why willpower alone usually isn't enough to change a deeply patterned behavior*How creating distance from triggers can become a wise spiritual practice Go Deeper:Episode 197: A deep dive with Dr. Joel Al on spiritual warfare and personal responsibility Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison's free email community for ongoing reflection and support.While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Psalm 40:1–3 What do you do when you've prayed, waited, done the work, and still feel stuck in the middle of a pit? In this episode, Dr. Alison Cook reflects on Psalm 40:1–3 and the kind of patience that isn't passive, polished, or emotionally detached—but deeply honest before God. This episode is for anyone who feels worn down by waiting and needs a reminder that God hears, turns toward, and meets us with love one small step at a time. We explore: *Why biblical patience doesn't mean suppressing your emotions *Why Christian hope is different from forced optimism *What it means to find “a firm place to stand” *How God forms a new song in us slowly Go Deeper: Episode 77: The Dark Night of the Soul: Why It Happens and What It Means Episode 99: Exploring a Broken Spirit & the Dark Night of the Soul with Christopher Cook Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison's free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Ephesians 4:26–27 **Today's devotional is in response to listener requests.** Anger can be confusing—especially if you were taught it was bad, dangerous, or unspiritual. But Scripture gives us a more nuanced path: anger itself is not automatically sin, but it does need care.Today's episode looks at Ephesians 4 and the difference between anger as a signal and anger as a force that can harm when left untended. We explore: *Why anger is a mobilizing emotion *Why “do not let the sun go down” should not be used to force premature reconciliation *How to slow your body down before anger takes over *What it means to practice honesty without harm Go Deeper: Episode 83: How to Turn Anger, Sadness, and Fear Into Powerful Allies Episode 44: Why Anger Can Become a Surprising Friend Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison's free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When did being a responsible adult become synonymous with being serious all the time? Somewhere along the way, many of us learned that curiosity, playfulness, imagination, and wonder were things we needed to leave behind in order to grow up. But what if those qualities aren't distractions from a meaningful life? What if they're essential to it? In this episode, Dr. Alison Cook sits down with entrepreneur, creative visionary, and author Piera Gelardi to explore why playfulness is far more than a luxury—it's a powerful source of resilience, creativity, connection, and emotional well-being. Together, they unpack how stress, perfectionism, and the pressure to "have it all together" disconnect us from our authentic selves, and how reclaiming play can help us feel more alive. You'll learn: Why playfulness is a sign of emotional health How stress, perfectionism, and the "cool police" rob us of joy The surprising connection between play and resilience How to move from a pressured state into a playful state Practical ways to reconnect with curiosity, wonder, and creativity Why childlike qualities may actually be your greatest strengths This conversation is an invitation to loosen your grip, laugh a little more, and rediscover the parts of yourself that make you feel most alive. More Resources: Order Piera's book, The Playful Way: Creativity, Connection, and Joy Through Everyday Moments of Play You can now preorder Dr. Alison's newest book, The Secure Soul, and immediately receive the first 3 chapters as well as early access to the companion guide! Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram Curious what Family Role may have shaped you? Take the Family Role Quiz to learn how you may be showing up in your relationships with others. Want to hear more like this? Start here: Episode 188: Tiny Joys, Big Healing: Retraining the Brain for Hope with Dr MaryCatherine McDonald

Today's Scripture: Numbers 11:10–17There is a kind of exhaustion that comes from feeling responsible for too many people, emotions, needs, and outcomes. Today's episode looks at Moses' honest breaking point in Numbers 11 and the mercy of God's response. God does not shame Moses for being overwhelmed. He gives him support. *The hidden exhaustion of over-responsibility*Why capable people often struggle to receive help*How survival strategies become burnout*Why limits are not a failure of love*The mercy of shared burden Go Deeper: Take the Family Roles quiz Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison's free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Mark 1:35–39 When everyone needs something from you, it can feel loving—even responsible—to respond immediately. But there is a difference between compassion and being controlled by demand. Today's episode looks at Mark 1 and the surprising way Jesus responds when everyone is looking for him. He withdraws to pray, stays rooted in God, and moves from clarity instead of urgency. We explore: *Why over-functioning often starts with anxiety *What Jesus models instead *The difference between compassion and compulsion *Why solitude and prayer help with discernment *How to discern what is truly yours to carry today Go Deeper: Episode 138: Breaking Free from Over-Functioning: Discover the Hidden Cost of Always Being the Responsible One Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison's free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Psalm 46:1–7 When life feels unsteady, our bodies often know before our minds do. We tighten, scan, spiral, and reach for control—trying to make uncertainty disappear before we let ourselves rest. Today's episode walks through Psalm 46 and the promise that God is not our escape from trouble, but our ever-present help in trouble. In this episode, we explore: *The difference between spiritual grounding and spiritual bypassing *What Psalm 46 teaches us about refuge, strength, and control *How to return to God's presence when life feels unstable *One small embodied practice for finding steadiness today Go Deeper: Start reading about inner attachment, when you preorder The Secure Soul Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison's free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Colossians 3:12–15 Every morning, we get dressed before stepping into the world—but what are we wearing on the inside? In today's episode, we reflect on Colossians 3. This isn't about performing spiritual maturity or pretending hard feelings aren't there. It's about receiving the qualities of Christ deep within your own soul, so they can begin to shape how you show up for yourself and others. We explore: *How anxiety, resentment, shame, or defensiveness can become something you “wear” *Why identity comes before spiritual practice *How compassion and kindness are practiced (without bypassing what's hard) *A simple way to start your day Go Deeper: Preorder The Secure Soul now and get access to the first three chapters, plus my free masterclass, Healing the Wounds That Shape Us Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison's free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What does it actually mean to raise an emotionally mature child? In this powerful conversation, Dr. Alison Cook sits down with renowned psychologist and bestselling author Dr. Lindsay C. Gibson, whose groundbreaking book "Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents" helped millions name what they didn't receive growing up. Now, Dr. Gibson turns toward a new question: How do we become the kind of parents who help our children feel safe, seen, respected, and emotionally strong? Together, they explore the emotional foundation children truly need—not perfection, but presence. They unpack what emotional maturity looks like, the impact of being raised by an emotionally immature parent, and how we can begin to give our own children the kind of parenting they need. You'll explore: The signs of an emotionally immature parent What a “good enough” parent actually looks like How repair builds trust more than perfection does The dance of balancing connection and autonomy  How to create emotional safety for your child Whether you're parenting toddlers, teenagers, or adult children—or simply learning how to become more emotionally mature yourself—this conversation offers a hopeful, grounded framework for growth. Because healthy parenting isn't about raising perfect kids. It's about creating the kind of emotional soil where both you and your child can grow. More Resources: Order Dr. Lindsay's new book, How to Raise an Emotionally Mature Child: Your Blueprint to a Lifetime of Happiness and Success for Your Child You can now preorder Dr. Alison's newest book, The Secure Soul, and immediately receive the first 3 chapters as well as early access to the companion guide! Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram Curious what Family Role may have shaped you? Take the Family Role Quiz to learn how you may be showing up in your relationships with others. Want to hear more like this? Start here: Episode 175: A Game-Changing Toolkit to Help Kids Conquer Worry and Build Courage with David Thomas and Sissy Goff Episode 68: How Not to Lose Yourself—Remaining You While Raising Them with Alli Worthington

Today's Scripture: 1 Samuel 3:1–10 Have you ever wondered if God was speaking, but you weren't sure? In today's episode, we look at the story of Samuel learning to recognize God's voice. His story reminds us that discernment is not always instant clarity. Sometimes it begins with practice, humility, repetition, and the help of wise guides. We explore: *Why discernment often takes practice *How anxiety and urgency can masquerade as guidance *How your nervous system impacts your ability to listen *What Samuel teaches us about hearing God with humility and openness Go Deeper: Check out our weekly deep-dive episodes each Thursday on The Best of You Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison's free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: John 2:1–11 What do you do when you've run out of energy, patience, joy, or capacity? In today's episode, we look at Jesus' first miracle at the wedding in Cana, where the wine runs out and Jesus quietly meets a hidden need. This passage offers a tender picture of a God who does not shame our lack, but meets us with dignity and generosity. We explore: *Why running out does not mean you've failed *How burnout shows up in your body and nervous system *Why honest naming can become a prayer *How Jesus meets hidden depletion before it becomes public shame *One small way to bring your burn-out to God today Go Deeper: Take the Family Roles quiz Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison's free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Psalm 8:1-9 Have you ever looked up at the sky and felt both small and strangely held? In this episode, Dr. Alison explores Psalm 8 and the healing power of wonder. We'll look at how awe quiets the anxious ego, helps the nervous system soften, and reminds us that being small does not mean being insignificant. We explore: *Why awe helps interrupt anxiety and overcontrol *The difference between humility and self-erasure *How wonder restores your sense of belovedness *Why childlike faith begins with receiving, not striving Go Deeper: Episode 142: Digital Detox—Surprising Insights from 7 Screen-Free Weeks with Monks & Amish Farmers Featuring Carlos Whittaker Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison's free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Hebrews 10:24–25 **Today's devotional is in response to listener requests.** If you've ever heard “do not give up meeting together” and felt guilt rise in your body, this episode is for you. In today's reflection on Hebrews 10:24–25, Dr. Alison offers a compassionate look at church hurt, spiritual community, and why this passage was never meant to be used as a weapon. We explore: *How church hurt and religious trauma can shape your nervous system *Signs of an unhealthy community *How to discern a healthy spiritual community *How to take slow, wise steps toward connection after religious harm Go Deeper: Episode 17: What is Church Hurt and How do I Heal? Episode 163: Healing Spiritual Wounds – Understanding Abuse in Faith Spaces with Rachael Clinton Chen Episode 153: Embodied Healing, Spiritual Trauma, and the Journey Home to Your Body with Dr. Hillary McBride Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison's free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if getting “triggered” isn't the problem… but a signal? We all have moments where our body reacts fast—your heart races, your defenses go up, and suddenly you're not responding from your wisest self. In this episode, Dr. Alison sits down with Dr. Kelly Flanagan to explore what's really happening in those moments—and how to respond with more clarity, connection, and intention. Together, they unpack what's happening behind reactivity and what it looks like to interrupt that cycle in real time. You'll learn: Why being triggered is a normal nervous system response How to notice your reactions before they take over The difference between protection mode and connection mode How to set boundaries without escalating conflict Why an open heart leads to wiser—not weaker—boundaries If you've ever felt stuck in reactive patterns in your relationships, this conversation offers a grounded, compassionate way forward. More Resources: Order Dr. Kelly Flanagan's new book, The Road Less Triggered. You can preorder Dr. Alison's newest book, The Secure Soul, and immediately receive the first 3 chapters as well as early access to the companion guide! Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram Curious what Family Role may have shaped you? Take the Family Role Quiz to learn how you may be showing up in your relationships with others. Want to hear more like this? Start here: Episode 203: Staying Close When Connection Feels Hard: The Relationship Skills No One Has Taught You Episode 180: When People Push Your Buttons — The Power of Curiosity Over Control

Today's Scripture: Ruth 1:16–18 What's the difference between love that strengthens your soul and loyalty that slowly erases you? In today's reflection on Ruth 1, Dr. Alison Cook explores Ruth's freely chosen commitment to Naomi—and why healthy love never uses guilt, pressure, or control to make someone stay. This episode offers a nuanced look at staying, leaving, agency, and the kind of attachment that is faithful, honest, and free. We explore: *How to recognize the difference between chosen love and fear-based loyalty *Why Ruth's commitment to Naomi is not a picture of codependency *How secure attachment gives people agency instead of trapping them *Why guilt-driven love can slowly lead to self-erasure *When staying can be rooted in freedom—and when leaving may be an act of wisdom Go Deeper: Start reading about inner attachment, when you preorder The Secure Soul Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison's free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Matthew 5:29–30 **Today's devotional is in response to listener requests.** Some Bible passages don't just make us think—they make our bodies brace. In today's reflection on Matthew 5:29–30, Dr. Alison Cook offers a compassionate way to read one of Jesus' hardest teachings without fear, shame, or self-condemnation. This episode explores: *How fear-based religion can shape the way your body hears Scripture *What happens in the brain when the amygdala perceives threat *Why repentance means turning toward love, not turning against yourself *How God's holiness always leads us toward healing and wholeness. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison's free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Psalm 121:1–8 When life feels uncertain, your nervous system may start scanning for safety—looking for reassurance, protection, or some solid place to land. In today's reflection on Psalm 121, Dr. Alison Cook explores how God meets us in that vulnerable place as the One who watches over our coming and going. We explore: *Why your nervous system scans for safety *How hypervigilance develops *Why “God watches over you” may take time to feel true in your body *How dwelling on scripture can slowly retrain your soul toward safety Go Deeper: Get my Masterclass "Healing the Wounds that Shape Us" when you preorder The Secure Soul Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison's free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Galatians 1:10 Have you ever said yes when something inside you wanted to say no? In today's episode, we look at Galatians 1:10 and the hidden cost of living for approval. In this episode, you'll learn: *How approval-seeking disconnects you from your own voice *How early family roles shape your need for approval *Why the helper, peacekeeper, or responsible one within may still be leading •How to find your own inner compass instead Go Deeper: Take our new Family Roles Quiz! Episode 147: Making Sense of Your Family Story with Adam Young Episode 85: The Goal of a Healthy Family & 6 Roles We Take on in Dysfunction Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison's free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if the dry, weary place you're in isn't something to escape—but a place where God is working? So many of us know that quiet middle space: you're not in crisis, but you're not exactly flourishing either. You're tired, spiritually dry, disconnected, or simply going through the motions. It's not dramatic enough to call a breakdown, but something in you knows you're weary. In this episode, Dr. Alison and author/priest Tish Harrison Warren explore what grows in these weary places—and why seasons of spiritual dryness, burnout, and languishing aren't signs that something is wrong with you. They may be part of how God forms you. Together, they talk about aridity, resilience, stability, and what it means to stay present to the life you actually have instead of constantly looking for a way out. You'll discover: Why spiritual dryness doesn't mean you're failing The difference between depression, burnout, and languishing What the desert fathers and mothers can teach us about resilience Why “staying in your cell” can become a path of formation How ordinary repair, routines, and relationships shape us over time What it means to let where you are do its work How hope changes the way we endure hard seasons This conversation offers a counter-cultural invitation: you don't have to rush out of the weary place. There may be something growing there. More Resources:

Today's Scripture: 1 Samuel 16:1–7 Have you ever felt overlooked— not chosen, not noticed, not even considered? In today's episode, we look at the story of Samuel anointing David and what it reveals about how easily we evaluate ourselves and others by what is visible. We explore: *How the halo effect shapes who gets noticed, chosen, or valued *Why external validation is a shaky foundation for your identity *How to stop measuring your worth by systems that were never designed to see you clearly *What David's story reveals about hidden faithfulness, quiet seasons, and the God who sees what others miss Go Deeper: Dr. Alison shares her journey through feeling unseen in The Secure Soul. Click here to read the first 3 chapters & join free masterclass on the wounds that shape you Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison's free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Luke 7:37–39 Have you ever wanted to bring something real into the light—but felt afraid of being judged? In today's episode, we look at the woman in Luke 7 who walks into a room full of people who already think they know her story and brings her whole self to the feet of Jesus. This passage shows us the difference between shame that keeps us hiding and the kind of love that helps us come close. We'll explore: *Why shame thrives in secrecy *Why people judge & how it affects both the person judging & others *The corrective emotional experience of dignity, compassion, and love found in Jesus Go Deeper: Episode 23: Am I Wounded or am I Sinful? Read the first 3 Chapters of my new book The Secure Soul, when you preorder Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison's free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Psalm 32:3–7 Have you ever carried something so long that it started to feel normal? In today's episode, we look at Psalm 32 and what happens when hidden guilt, shame, or regret stays buried inside the body and soul. I'll walk you through the difference between true guilt and shame, why suppression can take such a physical toll, and how honest confession can become a doorway into freedom, safety, and deeper connection with God. We'll explore: *Why hidden guilt can show up in your body as tension, exhaustion, or anxiety *The difference between true guilt and shame *What psychology research us shows us about confession as a path toward safety, not rejection *How God meets you with mercy when you stop hiding Go Deeper: Read True Guilt vs. False Guilt on my blog Visit dralisoncook.com/podcast and type “guilt” into the search bar to find past episodes on this topic. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison's free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: 2 Timothy 1:7There's a kind of exhaustion that comes from feeling like nothing you do makes a difference. In today's episode, Dr. Alison Cook explores 2 Timothy 1:7 and the psychology of feeling powerless. Drawing on the concept of learned helplessness and nervous system overwhelm, she unpacks why you may feel stuck, shut down, or unable to act—and how to begin reclaiming your voice, one small step at a time. We'll explore: *What learned helplessness is and how it shapes your sense of agency*Why feeling powerless isn't weakness—but a nervous system adaptation*The difference between true power vs. control or over-functioning*A simple, grounded way to begin reclaiming your voice todayGo Deeper:Read the first 3 chapters of The Best of YouRead blog post on Confident Leadership Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever replayed a conversation over and over in your mind? Maybe it was something your partner said. A text that felt off. A moment at work. A look on someone's face. Suddenly your mind is looping, analyzing, judging, and trying to solve something that never seems to resolve. Today's conversation with science writer Donna Jackson Nakazawa is about rumination—what many of us experience as overthinking, thought spirals, or getting mentally stuck. Donna brings together powerful neuroscience, personal story, and practical tools to help us understand why our minds loop, what those loops are trying to show us, and how we can begin to interrupt them with compassion and clarity. We explore: Why rumination is not random—and what it reveals The difference between productive reflection and a mental loop that leaves you feeling worse Why social media can trigger rumination so quickly Donna's MIST framework for stopping the spiral This conversation is especially for you if you've ever thought, Why can't I just let this go? or Why am I still thinking about this? Get Donna's new book, Mind Drama here Connect with Donna here Preorder my brand new book The Secure Soul Want to hear more episodes like this? Start here: Episode 158:  Your Pain Has a Name: The Deeper Hurt Behind Distressing Thoughts with Therapist Monica DiCristina Episode 51: The 12 Common Thinking Traps, Mind Reading, Mental Filters, and How To Stop Taking Things Personally

Today's Scripture: 2 Kings 5:1–14Why do we resist the very things that could actually help us heal? In today's episode, Dr. Alison Cook explores the story of Naaman in 2 Kings 5 and the deeply human tendency to reject simple, meaningful steps toward healing. With insight from psychology and identity formation, she unpacks why small, ordinary actions can feel threatening—especially when your sense of self has been built around strength, control, or self-sufficiency. We'll explore:*Why we resist change—even when we want it*How the false self and identity can block healing*Why simple solutions can feel “too small” for deep pain*How small, repeated steps become the pathway to real transformation Go Deeper:Episode 199: How the Body Teaches the Soul with Justin Whitmel EarleyCheck out our new website with all the daily episodes linked. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Mark 4:35–41What happens when fear takes over your body—and you can't think clearly? In today's episode, Dr. Alison Cook explores the story of Jesus calming the storm in Mark 4, alongside the psychology of panic, fear, and the nervous system. She explains why your body goes into fight-or-flight mode, why you feel the urge to fix or control everything, and how to gently return to calm. We'll explore:*What's happening in your brain during panic *Why anxiety can feel urgent and all-consuming*The link between fear, over-functioning, and control*A simple grounding practice to help your body return to calm and presenceGo Deeper:Episode 185: A Real-Time Practice to Help You Return to God's Loving Presence When You're Anxious or OverwhelmedEpisode 129: Understanding Anxiety: A Step-by-Step Guide to Finding Calm, Advocating For Yourself, and Cultivating Inner ResilienceEmail your topics and passage ideas at info@dralisoncook.comSign up for Dr. Alison's free weekly email for more insight and resources. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Psalm 73:1–3, 12–17 Have you ever looked at someone else's life and felt that quiet ache—like you're somehow behind? In today's episode, Dr. Alison Cook explores Psalm 73 and the deeply human struggle of comparison. With insight from psychology and attachment patterns, she unpacks why comparison can feel so destabilizing—and how to return to your own life with clarity and compassion. We explore:*Why upward social comparison can distort your sense of worth*How comparison pulls you out of your own life and into an imagined hierarchy*The connection between comparison, self-doubt, and over-functioning*Why you can't “think” your way out of comparison—and what actually helps*A grounding practice to help you return to your own life and God's presence Go Deeper:Episode 183: The Real Reason You Compare Yourself (and How to Heal It)When Life Feels Unfair (and Why Comparison Keeps you Stuck Read the first 3 chapters of I Shouldn't Feel This Way Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: James 1:5–8Struggling to make a decision or stuck in overthinking? In this episode, Dr. Alison explores the real reason behind indecision and how learning to work with the different parts of you can help you find clarity and move forward. We explore:*Indecision and overthinking*Inner conflict and parts work*Decision fatigue and self-doubt*Finding clarity without forcing answers Go Deeper:Get a guided journal and the first 3 chapters of I Shouldn't Feel This Way here Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if the reason you feel stuck… isn't because something is wrong with you, but because different parts of you are pulling in different directions? We all know that feeling: one part of you wants to follow through, while another part resists. And often, one side takes over… leaving you with regret or confusion afterward. In this episode, Dr. Alison is joined by IFS therapist and best-selling author Jenna Riemersma to explore what's really happening beneath that inner conflict and how to respond differently. Because the goal isn't to fight those parts of you. It's to understand them. Together, they walk through Jenna's simple, practical framework that helps you move toward yourself with curiosity and compassion instead of shame or control. You'll explore: Why the parts of you that frustrate you most may be trying to help What keeps you stuck in the same inner battles again and again The surprising shift that can calm the conflict inside How to know when to share what's happening inside you—and when it's wiser to protect yourself What real relief can look like when you stop fighting yourself If you've ever felt stuck in cycles of overthinking, self-criticism, or reacting in ways you later regret, this conversation will help you understand why and what to do in the moment. Want to go deeper? Get Jenna's new book, Move Toward. Get Jenna's free Guided Meditations and Journaling Worksheets here.  Connect further with ⁠@dralisoncook⁠ on Instagram Join 80,000+ soul tenders in our email community and receive weekly reflections and gentle practices on parts work ⁠here⁠.  Want to hear more like this? Start here: Episode 160:  When You Feel Unwanted—Meeting the Parts of You That Long to Belong with IFS Therapist Tammy Sollenberger Episode 108: Inside Out—Internal Family Systems, Therapy, and High-Performing Protectors with Jenna Riemersma