Podcasts about bestofyou

Scripture is powerful.  It has the power to comfort, guide, convict, and restore. But when it's taken out of context or used to control, it can also leave deep wounds. In this conversation, Dr. Alison sits down with theologian and Mending the Soul co-founder Dr. Steven Tracy to explore how Scripture can be used as medicine—or as poison—for those who have experienced abuse. Together, they unpack some of the most commonly misused passages around submission, forgiveness, honoring parents, and divorce, while offering a more faithful way of reading Scripture: one that reflects God's heart for the vulnerable, the oppressed, and the wounded. Here's what you'll cover * Why spiritually abusive people often weaponize Scripture* How to recognize the difference between biblical truth and spiritual manipulation* What God reveals about His heart for those experiencing abuse* Why humility matters when we interpret Scripture* How healthy boundaries honor both God and human dignity* How survivors can begin rebuilding trust in both God and His Word Whether you've experienced spiritual abuse yourself, love someone who has, or simply want to handle Scripture with greater wisdom and compassion, this conversation offers both clarity and hope. Because God's Word was never meant to keep you trapped in harm. It was always meant to lead you toward healing. More Resources: You can now preorder Dr. Alison's newest book, The Secure Soul, and immediately receive the first 3 chapters as well as early access to the companion guide! Read Dr. Steven Tracy's book: To Heal or Harm Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram Curious what Family Role may have shaped you? Take the Family Role Quiz to learn how you may be showing up in your relationships with others. Want to hear more like this? Start here: Episode 163: Healing Spiritual Wounds – Understanding Abuse in Faith Spaces Episode 17: What is Church Hurt and How Do I Heal?

What if healing isn't just about changing your circumstances—but also tending what's been growing inside of you? Last week, we explored the metaphor of seed and soil: the way your nature and your nurture shape who you become. This week, we're going deeper. Because your inner world isn't just one plant—it's more like a whole garden. In this episode, we'll explore the difference between tending your inner garden and tending the outer soil around you. You'll learn why old patterns can still show up even after you've changed your life, why boundaries are not punishment, and how real healing involves both compassion for what grew inside of you and courage to change what surrounds you now. Here's what we cover: *How to recognize the tender, resilient, overgrown, and buried parts of your inner world *Why changing your outer environment helps—but doesn't automatically heal the inner one *The difference between boundaries as punishment and boundaries as self-stewardship *How differentiation helps you stay connected to yourself, even in difficult relationships *Why real change is possible, even if the soil around you has been hard Real healing is rarely a single breakthrough moment. It's the slow, faithful work of tending what has been entrusted to you, one step at a time. More Resources: You can now preorder Dr. Alison's newest book, The Secure Soul, and immediately receive the first 3 chapters as well as early access to the companion guide! Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram Curious what Family Role may have shaped you? Take the Family Role Quiz to learn how you may be showing up in your relationships with others. Want to hear more like this? Start here: Episode 212: Why You Feel Everything So Deeply (and Other People Don't): Childhood, Sensitivity & the Nervous System Episode 20: Making Peace with Yourself (& Facing Your Fear of Disappointing Other People)

Why do certain situations overwhelm you while someone you love seems completely unaffected?  In this episode, Dr. Alison explores one of the most important questions we ask about ourselves: Why am I the way I am? Using the image of a seed planted in soil, she explains how your God-given wiring, childhood environment, sensitivity, and nervous system all work together to shape the person you are today. This conversation offers a compassionate framework for understanding yourself—and the people you love—in an honest, empowering way. (You'll want to share this episode with your loved ones!) You'll learn: Why your brain is like a plant How childhood shapes your mental and emotional health The difference between your wiring and your wounding The research behind “orchid children” and “dandelion children” How different kinds of “soil” shape your nervous system, relationships, resilience, and sense of safety Why highly sensitive people may struggle more in hard environments—and thrive more in healthy ones Why healing begins when you understand both the seed you were given and the soil that shaped you This episode will help you see your story—and your loved ones—with more clarity, compassion, and hope. More Resources: You can now preorder Dr. Alison's newest book, The Secure Soul, and immediately receive the first 3 chapters as well as early access to the companion guide! Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram Curious what Family Role may have shaped you? Take the Family Role Quiz to learn how you may be showing up in your relationships with others. Want to hear more like this? Start here: Episode 143: Reparenting Your Younger Self—How to Stop Seeking Approval From Others & Find Inner Security Episode 22: How to Build Trust with Yourself 

When did being a responsible adult become synonymous with being serious all the time? Somewhere along the way, many of us learned that curiosity, playfulness, imagination, and wonder were things we needed to leave behind in order to grow up. But what if those qualities aren't distractions from a meaningful life? What if they're essential to it? In this episode, Dr. Alison Cook sits down with entrepreneur, creative visionary, and author Piera Gelardi to explore why playfulness is far more than a luxury—it's a powerful source of resilience, creativity, connection, and emotional well-being. Together, they unpack how stress, perfectionism, and the pressure to "have it all together" disconnect us from our authentic selves, and how reclaiming play can help us feel more alive. You'll learn: Why playfulness is a sign of emotional health How stress, perfectionism, and the "cool police" rob us of joy The surprising connection between play and resilience How to move from a pressured state into a playful state Practical ways to reconnect with curiosity, wonder, and creativity Why childlike qualities may actually be your greatest strengths This conversation is an invitation to loosen your grip, laugh a little more, and rediscover the parts of yourself that make you feel most alive. More Resources: Order Piera's book, The Playful Way: Creativity, Connection, and Joy Through Everyday Moments of Play You can now preorder Dr. Alison's newest book, The Secure Soul, and immediately receive the first 3 chapters as well as early access to the companion guide! Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram Curious what Family Role may have shaped you? Take the Family Role Quiz to learn how you may be showing up in your relationships with others. Want to hear more like this? Start here: Episode 188: Tiny Joys, Big Healing: Retraining the Brain for Hope with Dr MaryCatherine McDonald

What does it actually mean to raise an emotionally mature child? In this powerful conversation, Dr. Alison Cook sits down with renowned psychologist and bestselling author Dr. Lindsay C. Gibson, whose groundbreaking book "Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents" helped millions name what they didn't receive growing up. Now, Dr. Gibson turns toward a new question: How do we become the kind of parents who help our children feel safe, seen, respected, and emotionally strong? Together, they explore the emotional foundation children truly need—not perfection, but presence. They unpack what emotional maturity looks like, the impact of being raised by an emotionally immature parent, and how we can begin to give our own children the kind of parenting they need. You'll explore: The signs of an emotionally immature parent What a “good enough” parent actually looks like How repair builds trust more than perfection does The dance of balancing connection and autonomy  How to create emotional safety for your child Whether you're parenting toddlers, teenagers, or adult children—or simply learning how to become more emotionally mature yourself—this conversation offers a hopeful, grounded framework for growth. Because healthy parenting isn't about raising perfect kids. It's about creating the kind of emotional soil where both you and your child can grow. More Resources: Order Dr. Lindsay's new book, How to Raise an Emotionally Mature Child: Your Blueprint to a Lifetime of Happiness and Success for Your Child You can now preorder Dr. Alison's newest book, The Secure Soul, and immediately receive the first 3 chapters as well as early access to the companion guide! Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram Curious what Family Role may have shaped you? Take the Family Role Quiz to learn how you may be showing up in your relationships with others. Want to hear more like this? Start here: Episode 175: A Game-Changing Toolkit to Help Kids Conquer Worry and Build Courage with David Thomas and Sissy Goff Episode 68: How Not to Lose Yourself—Remaining You While Raising Them with Alli Worthington

What if getting “triggered” isn't the problem… but a signal? We all have moments where our body reacts fast—your heart races, your defenses go up, and suddenly you're not responding from your wisest self. In this episode, Dr. Alison sits down with Dr. Kelly Flanagan to explore what's really happening in those moments—and how to respond with more clarity, connection, and intention. Together, they unpack what's happening behind reactivity and what it looks like to interrupt that cycle in real time. You'll learn: Why being triggered is a normal nervous system response How to notice your reactions before they take over The difference between protection mode and connection mode How to set boundaries without escalating conflict Why an open heart leads to wiser—not weaker—boundaries If you've ever felt stuck in reactive patterns in your relationships, this conversation offers a grounded, compassionate way forward. More Resources: Order Dr. Kelly Flanagan's new book, The Road Less Triggered. You can preorder Dr. Alison's newest book, The Secure Soul, and immediately receive the first 3 chapters as well as early access to the companion guide! Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram Curious what Family Role may have shaped you? Take the Family Role Quiz to learn how you may be showing up in your relationships with others. Want to hear more like this? Start here: Episode 203: Staying Close When Connection Feels Hard: The Relationship Skills No One Has Taught You Episode 180: When People Push Your Buttons — The Power of Curiosity Over Control

What if the dry, weary place you're in isn't something to escape—but a place where God is working? So many of us know that quiet middle space: you're not in crisis, but you're not exactly flourishing either. You're tired, spiritually dry, disconnected, or simply going through the motions. It's not dramatic enough to call a breakdown, but something in you knows you're weary. In this episode, Dr. Alison and author/priest Tish Harrison Warren explore what grows in these weary places—and why seasons of spiritual dryness, burnout, and languishing aren't signs that something is wrong with you. They may be part of how God forms you. Together, they talk about aridity, resilience, stability, and what it means to stay present to the life you actually have instead of constantly looking for a way out. You'll discover: Why spiritual dryness doesn't mean you're failing The difference between depression, burnout, and languishing What the desert fathers and mothers can teach us about resilience Why “staying in your cell” can become a path of formation How ordinary repair, routines, and relationships shape us over time What it means to let where you are do its work How hope changes the way we endure hard seasons This conversation offers a counter-cultural invitation: you don't have to rush out of the weary place. There may be something growing there. More Resources:

Have you ever replayed a conversation over and over in your mind? Maybe it was something your partner said. A text that felt off. A moment at work. A look on someone's face. Suddenly your mind is looping, analyzing, judging, and trying to solve something that never seems to resolve. Today's conversation with science writer Donna Jackson Nakazawa is about rumination—what many of us experience as overthinking, thought spirals, or getting mentally stuck. Donna brings together powerful neuroscience, personal story, and practical tools to help us understand why our minds loop, what those loops are trying to show us, and how we can begin to interrupt them with compassion and clarity. We explore: Why rumination is not random—and what it reveals The difference between productive reflection and a mental loop that leaves you feeling worse Why social media can trigger rumination so quickly Donna's MIST framework for stopping the spiral This conversation is especially for you if you've ever thought, Why can't I just let this go? or Why am I still thinking about this? Get Donna's new book, Mind Drama here Connect with Donna here Preorder my brand new book The Secure Soul Want to hear more episodes like this? Start here: Episode 158:  Your Pain Has a Name: The Deeper Hurt Behind Distressing Thoughts with Therapist Monica DiCristina Episode 51: The 12 Common Thinking Traps, Mind Reading, Mental Filters, and How To Stop Taking Things Personally

What if the reason you feel stuck… isn't because something is wrong with you, but because different parts of you are pulling in different directions? We all know that feeling: one part of you wants to follow through, while another part resists. And often, one side takes over… leaving you with regret or confusion afterward. In this episode, Dr. Alison is joined by IFS therapist and best-selling author Jenna Riemersma to explore what's really happening beneath that inner conflict and how to respond differently. Because the goal isn't to fight those parts of you. It's to understand them. Together, they walk through Jenna's simple, practical framework that helps you move toward yourself with curiosity and compassion instead of shame or control. You'll explore: Why the parts of you that frustrate you most may be trying to help What keeps you stuck in the same inner battles again and again The surprising shift that can calm the conflict inside How to know when to share what's happening inside you—and when it's wiser to protect yourself What real relief can look like when you stop fighting yourself If you've ever felt stuck in cycles of overthinking, self-criticism, or reacting in ways you later regret, this conversation will help you understand why and what to do in the moment. Want to go deeper? Get Jenna's new book, Move Toward. Get Jenna's free Guided Meditations and Journaling Worksheets here.  Connect further with ⁠@dralisoncook⁠ on Instagram Join 80,000+ soul tenders in our email community and receive weekly reflections and gentle practices on parts work ⁠here⁠.  Want to hear more like this? Start here: Episode 160:  When You Feel Unwanted—Meeting the Parts of You That Long to Belong with IFS Therapist Tammy Sollenberger Episode 108: Inside Out—Internal Family Systems, Therapy, and High-Performing Protectors with Jenna Riemersma 

When a diagnosis, chronic illness, or unexpected health challenge enters your life, it can divide your story into a before and after. And often, we don't have language for what's happening beneath the surface. In this episode, Dr. Alison and Dr. James C. Jackson explore the concept of medical trauma—and how it impacts not just your body, but your identity, your relationships, and your sense of meaning. Because medical trauma isn't just about what happened to you physically. It's about what it begins to reshape internally—your sense of safety, control, and who you are. If you've ever felt disoriented, overwhelmed, or like life doesn't fit the way it used to… this conversation will help you understand why and what healing can look like. You'll explore: What medical trauma is and why it's often overlooked The psychological impact of diagnosis, chronic illness, and navigating healthcare How suffering can reshape your identity—and how to gently reframe it The role of community in healing and why support matters What it means to live in the “both/and” of grief and hope This conversation offers a compassionate path forward—helping you learn how to live with what's hard without letting it define all of who you are. Purchase Reclaiming Your Life From Medical Trauma here. Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram Want to go deeper? Join 80,000+ soul menders in our email community and receive weekly reflections and gentle practices on parts work here.  Want to hear more like this? Start here: Episode 64: Women's Health—Menopause, Hormones, Depression and How to Advocate for Yourself Through Your Body's Changes Episode 19: My Stroke, A Process of Healing, and How I Began to Write The Best of You

What if procrastination isn't about laziness… but a disconnect between who you want to be and what you actually do? So many of us carry goals we care deeply about: habits we want to build, changes we long to make, ways we want to grow. And yet, we find ourselves stuck in the same patterns, circling the same resistance, wondering why it's so hard to follow through. In this episode, Dr. Alison Cook and goals expert and New York Times bestselling author Jon Acuff explore what's really happening beneath procrastination and how to finally begin moving forward. Because procrastination isn't a character flaw. It's a gap. A gap between your intentions and your actions. And over time, that gap can quietly erode something deeper: your trust in yourself. If you've ever felt stuck, overwhelmed by your goals, or caught in cycles of starting and stopping… this conversation will help you understand why and what to do next. You'll explore: Why procrastination isn't about laziness and what's actually driving it The hidden impact of broken self-trust (and how to begin rebuilding it) How your “soundtracks” (repetitive thoughts) shape your actions and results The real reason discipline alone doesn't work and what does The 4 key places people get stuck in the growth process (and how to move forward) This conversation offers a practical, compassionate path forward, helping you close the gap between who you want to be and how you're actually living, one small step at a time. More Resources: Make sure to grab Jon Acuff's latest book Procrastination Proof: Never Get Stuck Again and then claim $97 worth of free bonuses. Take Jon's free procrastination profile here. Connect further with ⁠@dralisoncook⁠ on Instagram Want to go deeper with Dr. Alison? Join 80,000+ soul menders in our email community and receive weekly reflections and gentle practices here.  Want to hear more like this? Start here: Episode 199: How the Body Teaches the Soul with Justin Whitmel Earley Episode 157: Braving Change—3 Ways to Get Unstuck and Transform Guilt and Regret

What if the health of your relationship is shaping more of your life than you realize? We spend so much time focusing on our individual growth—our healing, our self-awareness, our inner work. But at some point, that work has to find its way into our closest relationships. And that's where things often get complicated. In this episode, Dr. Alison is joined by Dr. James Cordova to explore what it actually looks like to build and sustain healthy, connected relationships over time—and why it's so much harder than we expect. Because the truth is, relationships aren't neutral. They're either strengthening and supporting your overall well-being…or quietly eroding it. If you've ever felt close to someone you love… and also strangely disconnected, this conversation will help you understand why. You'll explore: Why relationships are more foundational to your health than you might think What actually happens as intimacy shifts over time—and why it's not a sign something is wrong The “porcupine dilemma” and why closeness and hurt often go hand in hand How small, everyday moments either build or erode connection What it means to respond to bids for connection—and why they matter more than you realize How mindfulness and presence shape the quality of your relationships What to do when you feel stuck, disconnected, or like you're the only one trying This conversation offers a compassionate and practical reframe:Healthy relationships aren't about avoiding conflict or getting it right all the time. They're about learning how to stay present, stay curious, and stay connected—even when it's hard. More Resources: Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram Read Dr. James Cordova's Book: The Mindful Path to Intimacy: Cultivating a Deeper Connectin With Your Partner Want to go deeper? Join 80,000+ soul menders in our email community and receive weekly reflections and gentle practices here.  Want to hear more like this? Start here: Episode 115: 4 Ways to Transform Your Relationship—Expert Tips to Heal Pain Points and Deepen Intimacy Episode 148: Dan Allendar on Healing, Intimacy, and Hard Fights Episode 137: The Mindful Marriage with Ron and Nan Deal

What if love doesn't wait until you're ready… but meets you right in the middle of the mess? This week, as part of the Holy Week series on The Best of You Every Day, Dr. Alison offers a deeper dive into one of the most intimate and unsettling moments in the story of Jesus—the night before everything changes. At the table, surrounded by people who will betray, deny, and abandon him, Jesus doesn't withdraw. He doesn't wait for clarity or understanding. He offers himself anyway. If you've ever struggled to receive love… especially after being hurt, this episode will help you understand why. Let's explore: Why doesn't healing always feel comfortable in the moment? The reasons we sometimes struggle to receive love The difference between protecting yourself… and closing yourself off How to take one small step toward receiving love This conversation offers a gentle, faith-rooted invitation to slow down this Holy Week—to sit in the tension, the confusion, and the not-yet—and to begin receiving love right where you are, even if it feels unfamiliar, imperfect, or hard to trust. More Resources: Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram Want to go deeper? Join 80,000+ soul menders in our email community and receive weekly reflections and gentle practices here.  Want to hear more like this? Start here:

What if heartbreak isn't just about what happened to you—but what it reveals about what you believe about yourself? At its core, heartbreak isn't just about loss. It's about the meaning your mind and body begin to make of that loss—especially when it touches something older. Rejection, betrayal, and disappointment have a way of surfacing deeper questions about who we are… and whether we are still worthy of love. If you've ever found yourself asking, why does this hurt so much more than it should?… this conversation between Dr. Alison Cook and Dr. Peace Amadi will help you begin to understand why—and what healing might look like. You'll explore: Why rejection can feel deeply personal… even when it isn't The hidden beliefs heartbreak can quietly bring to the surface Why certain patterns in your life keep getting replayed How past wounds can shape your present reactions What happens to your faith when pain doesn't make sense Where healing begins when nothing feels resolved yet This conversation offers a compassionate, faith-rooted path forward—helping you make sense of what's been stirred up within you, and gently move toward a deeper sense of peace. More Resources: Check out Dr. Peace Amadi's brand new book, The Wholehearted Way: Finding Peace After Life's Heartbreaks, Disappointments, and Rejections Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram Want to go deeper? Join 80,000+ soul menders in our email community and receive weekly reflections and gentle practices here.  If you liked this episode, then you'll love: Episode 200: Trauma, Safety, and Healing—3 Trauma Responses + 4 Ways to Restore Trust Episode 179: Building Wise Trust - How to Protect Your Heart Without Closing It Off Episode 188: The Healing Power of Safe People (Not Just Safe Spaces)

What if trauma isn't just about what happened to you—but what your body learned about safety in relationships? If you've ever wondered why it's hard to feel safe in relationships… this episode will help you understand why—and where healing begins. You'll learn: The 3 ways trauma reshapes your sense of safety The deeper story behind patterns of anxiety, shutdown, or people-pleasing The patterns your nervous system uses to protect you (without you realizing it) The hidden ways trauma can impact your relationship with God 4 shifts that begin to restore safety At its core, trauma isn't just about what happened to you. It's about what your body learned in relationships—especially when safety was broken. Whether those wounds began early in life or emerged later through betrayal, loss, or disappointment, your nervous system adapts in ways that are meant to protect you. This conversation offers a compassionate, faith-rooted path forward—helping you understand how your soul and body respond to broken trust, and how safety can be restored over time. More Resources: Connect with @dralisoncook on Instagram Want to go deeper? Join 80,000+ soul menders in our email community and receive weekly reflections and gentle practices here.  If you liked this episode, then you'll love: Episode 179: Building Wise Trust - How to Protect Your Heart Without Closing It Off Episode 188: The Healing Power of Safe People (Not Just Safe Spaces) Episode 191: The 5 Most Important Things I've Learned About Faith, Attachment, & The Inner Life

What happens when your body starts telling a story your mind cannot ignore? In this episode, Dr. Alison sits down with author Justin Whitmel Earley to explore the connection between spiritual formation and the everyday rhythms of our bodies. From the outside, Justin's life looked stable and successful. But anxiety and panic began surfacing in ways he could no longer explain away. What followed was a deeper question many of us quietly carry: what if our bodies are revealing something about how we are living? Together, Alison and Justin explore the forgotten wisdom of embodied faith and how small daily practices shape the soul over time. In this conversation, they explore: Why anxiety sometimes appears even when life “looks fine” on the surface The surprising ways your body may be revealing deeper patterns in your life What modern faith may have forgotten about the role of the body How simple daily rhythms can slowly reshape who we are becoming This conversation is not about fixing yourself. It's about learning to listen because most likely your body knew something before you had words for it. Because sometimes the path toward healing begins by paying attention to the wisdom already present in your body. More Resources: Connect with @justinwhitmelearley on InstagramOrder Justin's latest book The Body Teaches the Soul. Connect with @dralisoncook on Instagram Join the 80,000+ soul menders in our email community and receive weekly reflections and gentle practices here.  If you liked this episode, then you'll love: Episode 186: Stuck in Overthinking? A Simple Practice to Interrupt Stress, Overwhelm, and Habit Loops Episode 184: Stop Running From Anxiety - How to Tell Normal Stress from Unhealthy Anxiety and Find Peace Over Panic

What do you do when the person who was supposed to nurture you becomes the source of your deepest wounds? In this episode, Dr. Alison sits down with writer, speaker, and host of the Big Boo Cast, Melanie Shankle to explore the complicated terrain of mother wounds, emotional enmeshment, and the long road toward healing. From the outside, it can look like “normal family tension.” But in the body, something feels off. Together, they explore: What happens when your nervous system knew something wasn't safe before you had language for it The impact of criticism, competitiveness, and emotional parentification How shame can keep you believing the problem is you he difference between honoring a parent and tolerating hard Why distance sometimes becomes part of healing This isn't a conversation about blame. It's a conversation about truth-telling. About untangling enmeshment. About breaking generational patterns. About discovering what safety actually feels like. If you've ever felt torn between loyalty and self-protection… If you've wondered whether what you experienced “counts”… If you're learning to trust what your body has always known… This episode is honest, nuanced, and ultimately hopeful. Because healing one life can change a generation. More Resources: Connect with @melanieshankle on Instagram Order Melanie's latest book Here Be Dragons. Connect with @dralisoncook on Instagram Join the 80,000+ soul menders in our email community and receive weekly reflections and gentle practices here.  If you liked this episode, then you'll love: Episode 144: Healing the Soul Through Encounters with Jesus Featuring John Eldredge Episode 128: Generational Trauma—Overcoming Inherited Dysfunction & Legacy Burdens with therapist Gina Birkemeier

Have you ever wondered if there's something spiritual happening beneath what you're carrying? You're doing the work.You're praying.You're going to therapy.You're trying to take responsibility. And still… something feels off. In this episode, Dr. Alison sits down with Theologian Joel Muddamalle to explore spiritual warfare — not through fear or sensationalism, but through clarity and discernment. Together, they examine: How the enemy works through systems, structures, and misaligned desires The difference between personal responsibility and spiritual opposition Why obsession with darkness is just as unhelpful as dismissing it How to stay grounded in Christ's victory rather than panic This conversation reframes spiritual warfare as something far more ordinary — and far more hopeful — than we often imagine. Not demon hunting.Not blame shifting.But cultivating wholeness. Because the center of the Christian story is not darkness.It's restoration. If you've ever felt confused about this topic — or unsure how to integrate faith, mental health, and spiritual reality — this episode offers grounded wisdom for everyday life. More Resources: Follow Dr. Alison on Instagram @dralisoncook  Join the 80,000+ soul menders in our email community and receive weekly reflections and gentle practices here. Learn more about Joel Muddamalle's work. Order The Unseen Battle. If you liked this episode, then you'll love: Episode 144: Healing the Soul Through Encounters with Jesus Featuring John Eldredge Episode 122: Navigating Anxiety, Therapy, and Spiritual Formation—Balancing Mental, Emotional, & Spiritual Health with John Mark Comer

“A joyful heart is good medicine.” But not the kind of joy you fake. In this episode, Dr. Alison explores the difference between healthy humor and harmful humor — and why that distinction matters for your nervous system, your relationships, and your spiritual formation. Humor can soothe. It can bond. It can bring relief. But it can also deflect. Minimize. Or quietly wound. You'll learn: Why humor can feel safe for one person and threatening for another How teasing can create intimacy… or erode it What it looks like to practice discernment without shaming yourself Why “getting your joy back” is often a sign of real healing This conversation is part of Pillar Three in Dr. Cook's Four Pillars series: Joy & Delight — not as a personality trait or a passing mood, but as a practice of inner formation. Because joy is not just an emotional expression. It's a signal. When your nervous system begins to feel safe enough to soften, laughter shifts. Delight becomes accessible. Connection deepens. And sometimes the kind of humor you practice reveals more about your healing than you realize. More Resources: Follow Dr. Alison on Instagram @dralisoncook  Join the 80,000+ soul menders in our email community and receive weekly reflections and gentle practices here. If you liked this episode, then you'll love: Episode 191: The 5 Most Important Things I've Learned About Faith, Attachment, & The Inner Life Episode 194: When Relationships Start to Drain You—Using Discernment to Stay Connected Without Losing Yourself Episode 111: How to Transforms Parenting Triggers & Blind Spots Into Growth & Connection With Beth McCord

Have you ever felt exhausted — not because you don't care, but because you're carrying more than you can name? Dr. Alison is joined by therapist and New York Times bestselling author Nedra Glover Tawwab to reflect on why caring deeply can sometimes leave us depleted — and why the answer isn't trying harder or pulling away. This conversation doesn't offer quick fixes. Instead, it invites you to pause and consider a different question—one that has less to do with effort and more to do with mutuality. If you've been feeling tired, responsible, or overwhelmed while trying to do the right thing, this episode offers perspective and hope—without pressure or oversimplification.

Connection matters deeply — and yet for many of us, it's never felt more confusing. In this solo episode, Dr. Alison explores the tension many people are navigating right now: how to stay open and loving toward others without losing clarity, discernment, or yourself. Many of us were taught that love means endless accommodation, that boundaries are unkind, or that distance equals failure. Others, weary of being hurt, find themselves pulling back — unsure how to stay connected without feeling drained or unsafe. This episode sits right in the middle of that tension. Rather than offering formulas or quick fixes, Dr. Alison invites listeners to slow down and notice what's happening beneath the surface of relationships — especially the ones that feel confusing, heavy, or hard to interpret. If you've found yourself asking: How do I stay loving without losing myself? How do I know when to lean in — and when to pause? What does discernment look like in real, imperfect relationships? This conversation creates space to reflect without pressure to decide everything right away. More Resources:

How do you actually heal and change—not just cope or try harder? In this solo episode, Dr. Alison reflects on five core insights about faith, attachment, and the inner life—not as a plan for self-improvement, but as wisdom for formation. January often comes with pressure to reset, optimize, and fix ourselves. But many of us begin the year already tired — weary of striving, and hungry for something deeper. This episode offers a different invitation. Rather than asking what to change, Dr. Alison invites us to notice how we are already being formed — especially in moments of stress, fear, and uncertainty. In this conversation, Dr. Alison explores: Why faith is not just what we believe The hidden way your nervous system influences your spiritual life What many “spiritual struggles” are really pointing to The missing ingredient most change efforts overlook Why striving for perfection keeps so many people stuck Growth isn't about eliminating fear or complexity. It's learning where to return when fear inevitably shows up.

What if healing doesn't start with managing your emotions—but with understanding how your brain responds to fear, grief, and hope? In this episode, Dr. Alison sits down with neurosurgeon, author, and Iraq War veteran Dr. Lee Warren to explore trauma, loss, faith, and the brain's God-given capacity to change.  After unimaginable loss, Dr. Warren shares how “self-brain surgery”—learning to notice and interrupt destructive thought patterns—helped him restore hope and agency without bypassing grief. This conversation will help you understand: —Why most of our thoughts are repetitive, negative, and often untrue —How trauma wires automatic thoughts—and how those patterns can change —How faith and neuroscience meet in practical ways —The difference between the mind and the brain, and why that distinction matters for healing This episode offers hope without shortcuts. It honors the reality of suffering while reminding us that our past does not get the final word — not neurologically, not emotionally, and not spiritually.

If gratitude and grief seem to arrive hand in hand this season or hope feels costly, like putting your armor down in the middle of a battle… Nothing is wrong with you. Your brain is doing exactly what it was designed to do. Dr. Alison sits down with researcher, author, trauma educator, and joy scholar Dr. MaryCatherine McDonald to explore the often misunderstood relationship between trauma and joy. Drawing from neuroscience, trauma research, and lived experience, Dr MaryCatherine explains why joy can feel threatening after loss or prolonged stress. Together, they unpack: Why trauma responses are strength responses, not weaknesses The “joy thieves” that quietly steal our capacity for delight Why joy and grief are not opposites, and often show up together How tiny moments can gently retrain your brain for joy What neuroscientists call the hope circuit, and how to activate it

If the holidays bring up a lot for you, old roles, old emotions, or the pressure to keep everyone happy, you're not alone. Christmas has a way of activating the patterns and survival strategies that once helped you feel safe, pleasing, perfecting, over-functioning, or shutting down. In this episode, Dr. Alison Cook shares how these patterns show up in her own life, why they resurface, and how you can gently find your way back to peace. You'll learn: the 3 types of needs that get tangled inside why holiday dynamics awaken old wounds and responses a simple way to return to the place of peace at your center how to redefine “success” this holiday season

If stress or discomfort sends you into overthinking, numbing, or trying to fix what you can't control… If certain habits feel automatic no matter how much you try to change them… You're not alone, and your brain is more trainable than you think. In this episode, Dr. Alison Cook sits down with Dr. Jud Brewer—psychiatrist, neuroscientist, and New York Times best-selling author who specializes in habit change and mindfulness.  They unpack why we get stuck in these loops and a simple practice to steady your soul. Instead of relying on willpower or self-judgment, this conversation invites you to: Notice your inner patterns with kindness Differentiate discomfort from distress Understand the habit loops that drive anxiety, worry, or overthinking Apply the #1 tool to help you create real, lasting change Deepen your connection to God This episode is a grounding companion for anyone navigating stress, emotional triggers, or the pull toward old coping strategies—especially in seasons that stir up more than we expect.

If you've ever found yourself wide awake at night replaying a conversation If you spiral through guilt after setting even the gentlest boundary If you carry everyone else's emotions while losing sight of your own You're in good company. In today's episode, Dr. Alison shares personally about these moments in her own life and guides you through a real-time practice you can do right where you are. It's the most effective tool we've found to help when overwhelm rises, when you're tempted to slip back into people-pleasing, or when conflict sends your nervous system into overdrive. Instead of overthinking, overanalyzing, or pushing your feelings aside, this practice helps you: Notice what's happening inside with kindness Connect with the part of you that's working overtime to keep you safe Offer compassion to your own soul — the same compassion you extend so easily to others Invite God's loving, steady presence into the places that feel tangled, tense, or afraid

We spend so much energy trying to silence anxiety. But what if it isn't an enemy to defeat—what if it's a signal to understand? This week, Dr. Alison talks with Dr. Bethany Teachman, professor of clinical psychology at the University of Virginia and director of the PACT Lab, about what healthy anxiety looks like, why it's actually useful, and how to stop letting it run your life.  Dr. Teachman explains how to know when anxiety is becoming a problem and shares practical ways to calm anxious thoughts, build resilience, and approach your fears with curiosity instead of control. She says, “Anxiety is uncomfortable, but it's not dangerous, when you stop treating it like a threat, it loses its power over you.” You'll learn: The difference between healthy anxiety and unhealthy anxiety How to recognize when your threat response doesn't match the situation Why trying to “get rid” of anxiety often makes it worse How reframing challenges as opportunities builds resilience Why doom-scrolling keeps us trapped in fear Check out more free resources on anxiety: TYDE (Thriving Youth in a Digital Environment) — A University of Virginia initiative co-directed by Dr. Teachman focused on youth, technology, and mental health. MindTrails — A suite of digital and mobile interventions designed to help people manage anxiety and increase access to care, including.  If you liked this episode, you'll love:  Episode 129: Understanding Your Anxiety Episode 54: Can I Pray My Anxiety Away?

It can happen so fast - you feel grateful one moment, and five minutes on Instagram later you're suddenly feeling small or behind. But what if comparison isn't the problem itself, but a messenger? Dr. Alison explores how comparison, when we pause to listen, can actually reveal our deepest longings and lead us back to connection with God, with others, and with ourselves. She explains why comparison is wired into us, what it's trying to show us, and how to shift from competition to curiosity and compassion. This conversation invites you to slow down, notice what stirs inside you when comparison shows up, and remember: your story is unfolding at its own sacred pace. In this episode, we cover: Why comparison isn't always toxic, and what it's really telling you How to move from calibration to condemnation (and back again) The two types of comparison A simple three-step practice to use when you find yourself comparing

What do you do when relationships feels risky after you've been hurt, betrayed, or let down, yet you still crave real connection? This week, Dr. Alison is joined by speaker, and author Toni Collier, for a powerful and honest conversation about healing through community and learning how to trust again after deep pain.  Toni shares her story of betrayal and loss, and how she discovered the power of safe people - the kind who can hold your heart without judgment and help you rebuild when life falls apart. Together, they unpack what real friendship looks like and why isolation, while it feels safe, can slowly destroy us. You'll walk away with language for repair, courage to take off your “strong friend” cape, and practical wisdom for finding (and becoming) the kind of people who can walk with you through both heartbreak and healing. This episode explores: Why healing requires safe people, not just safe spaces How to build a community that can hold your story The difference between isolation and refuge The courage it takes to say, “I need help” The three steps to finding and keeping trustworthy friends You can find Toni's powerful book here:

What do you do when someone you love - whether it's your kids, a spouse, or a friend - keeps doing the same maddening things?  This week, we're tackling how to approach the most frustrating dynamics in any relationship. Dr. Alison is joined by award-winning psychologist Dr. J. Stuart Ablon, founder of Think:Kids at Massachusetts General Hospital, and Associate Professor at Harvard Medical School.  He shares a game-changing mindset shift: most challenging behavior is about skill, not will. If you've ever thought, “They just don't care,” about someone you love, this conversation provides a proven, practical path to real solutions.  This episode explores: The five core skills that drive every behavior The real reason most people struggle How to keep your cool and trade judgment for curiosity The exact words that lower defensiveness fast Why boundaries still matter—and how to set them collaboratively A step-by-step walkthrough of Collaborative Problem Solving in action For more from Dr. Stuart Ablon, check out his many free resources:

What if you weren't meant to trust blindly, but to trust wisely? Trust is sacred - and when it's broken, it's easy to shut down or swing toward over-trusting. In this episode, Alison explores how to cultivate a steady, discerning trust, one that honors both your boundaries and your desire for connection. Dr. Alison explores what it means to build wise trust: the kind that's discerning but still open to love. You'll learn practical steps to protect your heart without hardening it, and how to partner with God in cultivating grounded, courageous trust that leads to real connection. In this episode, we explore: How broken trust impacts our nervous system and relationships The difference between naïve trust and wise, grounded trust How to protect your heart without closing it off Practical steps to rebuild trust - with yourself, others, and God Why choosing openness is one of the bravest things you can do If you've been hurt, disappointed, or afraid to let people in again, this episode will give you language, perspective, and hope for what it looks like to trust wisely - and love freely - again. Follow Dr. Alison on Instagram @dralisoncook

What do you do when someone's behavior leaves you feeling small, confused, or constantly on edge?  That uneasy feeling isn't random, it's often a signal that something toxic is at play. The Bible urges us to be wise as serpents and innocent as doves - to stay discerning, not naïve, in our relationships. Yet many of us brush off harmful patterns because we want to keep the peace, avoid conflict, or because our empathy and loyalty run deep. The problem? Those very strengths can make us more vulnerable to toxic strategies. In this episode Dr. Alison names four of the most common toxic behaviors - manipulation, gaslighting, constant criticism, and triangulation - and shows you how to recognize them before they take root. She unpacks how to tell the difference between a one-time mistake and a repeated pattern of harm, and she offers practical tools to protect yourself without losing your compassion. In this episode, we explore: The difference between mistakes and toxic patterns 4 common toxic behaviors and what they look like in real life The core root beneath toxic strategies How to deal with false guilt and set yourself free If you've ever struggled with guilt, second-guessed your instincts, or felt trapped in a cycle of blame, this conversation will give you language, clarity, and hope for moving forward with wisdom and strength.

Where do you turn when heartache threatens to take over your whole life? This week, Dr Alison is joined by Amber Smith to talk about her journey from crushing grief to quiet, hard-won hope. Many of you know part of her story: the unthinkable loss of her three-year-old son, River, in 2019.  Together, they talk about the raw reality of grief; how faith can be both anchor and wrestle, how a marriage can survive when each person's pain looks different, and why welcoming joy again is not a betrayal of what you've lost. If you've ever faced heartbreak or walked alongside someone in deep pain, this conversation will meet you right where you are - whether you're on your own bathroom floor or standing beside someone who is. In this episode, we explore: Amber's story of losing her son, River, and the spiritual transformation that followed The “before and after” shift that tragedy brings to faith and identity How she and her husband, Granger Smith, fought for their marriage Why grief can quietly become an idol How holding space for grief can bring a family closer This episode blends honesty, tenderness, and practical wisdom, exploring what it means to choose life and love while discovering God's presence in moments when hope feels distant.

When the world feels on fire, how do our souls find rest in God alone? This week's two-part episode is close to my heart. In the wake of recent violence, I first pause to reflect on what it means to choose love in an age when outrage feels easier. From there, I turn to a conversation with my friend and mentor, Dr. Stephen Macchia. Steve has spent decades guiding people into deeper intimacy with God through practices of silence, prayer, and community. Together we explore the barriers distraction creates, why being truly listened to is so healing, and how slowing down opens space for God's presence in our lives. This episode is an invitation to lay down outrage, pick up compassion, and step into the quiet spaces where God does His best work.

The world has changed, and raising kids now requires a new kind of courage. In this encouraging, yet practical episode, Dr. Alison is joined by counselors and best-selling authors Sissy Goff and David Thomas of Daystar Counseling in Nashville. Together, they discuss why anxiety is showing up earlier and more intensely in children, and how parents can respond with both empathy and practical tools.  Sissy and David share practical & creative ways they're helping kids build courage, resilience, self-control, and perspective. From therapy dogs and illustrated children's books, to powerful stories from their counseling practice, Sissy and David deliver hopeful reminders that your calm matters, and practical strategies can help your kids step into the world with more confidence.  This episode explores: Why childhood anxiety is rising, and how it looks different in boys and girls The surprising ways technology impacts emotional health The unintended consequence of overprotective parenting Practical tools  that help kids develop resilience, risk-taking, and healthy coping When to seek counseling for your child This episode is a hopeful reminder: Kids don't need a perfect parent. They need a present one who believes in their courage and helps them practice it. For More from David and Sissy: Check out their website, https://www.raisingboysandgirls.com and pre-order the DayStar Dogs books here:

In this episode, Dr. Alison is joined by counselor and podcast host Trey Tucker for an honest conversation about the rise of therapy culture online, the pitfalls of over-identifying with a diagnosis, and how parents can help kids build resilience instead of anxiety. Together, they unpack: The rise of “TikTok Therapy”—what's helpful about therapy content online and where it falls short. Why so many people are tempted to define themselves by a diagnosis—and how that can keep us stuck. The difference between true boundaries and emotional avoidance. Parenting without panic: how to model calm presence instead of passing anxiety on to the next generation. Why resilience, not fragility, is one of the greatest gifts we can offer our kids. Alison and Trey bring different perspectives with a shared passion for nuance, honesty, and practical hope. It's a refreshing, thought-provoking dialogue that will encourage you to think differently about therapy, identity, and how we show up in family life.

What does it take to make the church a safer place for women's voices? This week Dr Alison is joined by husband-and-wife therapists Dr. Christy Bauman and Andrew Bauman, who are doing groundbreaking work at the intersection of women's stories, embodiment, and spiritual safety. Together, they offer both prophetic challenge and practical hope for how we can build healthier faith communities. In the first half of the episode, Christy takes us into the sacred rites of passage women experience, highlighting women's voices in the Bible. In the second half, Andrew shares from his extensive research, offering a vision for safe churches where power is shared, voices are honored, and healing is possible. Together, Christy and Andrew model what's possible when men and women work side by side for change.  You'll learn: The six symbolic rites of passage women experience over a lifetime—and why reclaiming them matters How Christy helps women see their bodies as sacred places of dignity and spiritual depth The results of their research with 2,800+ women who work in church settings A vision for churches where power is shared and women's voices are truly honored  A note of care: This episode includes sensitive topics such as pornography, domestic violence, and harm related to women's bodies. Please listen gently and step away if you need to. Learn more from Christy and Andrew:

Have you ever found yourself afraid to feel joy - worried that if you celebrate, the other shoe will inevitably drop? So many of us quietly hold joy at arm's length. We tell ourselves it's safer not to get our hopes up than to risk being let down again. What if joy isn't a fleeting feeling for the lucky few, but a courageous practice we can all learn? Dr Alison sits down with therapist and author Nicole Zasowski to talk about her journey of choosing joy in the face of loss. Nicole shares how she discovered that joy can be the most vulnerable emotion of all - and why learning to celebrate is one of the most important practices we can cultivate in our lives. Together, you'll learn: The surprising reason joy can feel harder than grief or disappointment The difference between toxic positivity and true, grounded joy Why pessimism and cynicism are really forms of control Practical ways to retrain your mind to savor what's good—even in difficult seasons What Scripture and neuroscience teach us about joy

Why do we work so hard to earn the approval of others? And what is it really costing us? In this candid, practical episode, Dr. Alison tackles one of the most common struggles she hears from so many of you: people pleasing. You'll hear powerful voice messages from listeners as she explores the many forms this pattern can take—from avoiding conflict, to saying “yes” when you want to say “no,” to slowly losing sight of who you really are. Together, you'll learn: 5 common roots of people pleasing How certain Bible verses get misused to reinforce self-erasure The high cost of people pleasing 3 simple steps to move toward wholeness

What if what keeps you going is also keeping you stuck? Does venting actually help, or is it actually making you feel worse? This powerful, hope-filled conversation might just change your entire approach to rest—it did for me. Cognitive psychologist and neuroscientist Dr. Therese Huston joins me for a conversation that's incredibly helpful for anyone feeling overwhelmed, emotionally drained, or stuck in numbing patterns. I'm not exaggerating when I say it is a game-changer. If you've been feeling off-center, burned out, or unsure how to truly rest, this episode will meet you with both compassion and science-backed tools to help you reset—even when you don't have much time. We cover: The surprising truth about venting—and why it may not be helping Why certain “breaks” leave you more drained How to reset your brain in less than five minutes (yes, really) Simple, science-backed techniques to calm your nervous system Why numbing behaviors (like mindless snacking, scrolling, or binging TV) can feel good—but keep you stuck Two powerful on-air practices you can do right along with us This is not about productivity hacks. It's about reclaiming your peace and tending to your soul—so you can show up as the person you want to be, no matter what your day looks like.

Are you tired of holding it all together for everyone else? In this deeply personal episode, Dr. Alison explores the hidden ache of emotional caretaking—the quiet ways we overfunction, over-give, and overlook our own needs to keep the peace. Whether it started in childhood or has become a way of coping in adult relationships, many of us have learned to survive by tending to others while slowly disappearing ourselves. Alison shares what she's learning about her own inner caretaker and gently invites you to reconnect with the parts of you that are tired, weary, and worthy of care. This isn't about walking away from the people you love—it's about learning to stay grounded in yourself as you care well for others. This episode explores: Why emotional caretaking can feel like love—but quietly wears you down How childhood dynamics shape your adult urge to fix, help, or rescue What most people get wrong about “self-care” The hidden cost of always tending to others while neglecting yourself A gentle practice to reconnect with your inner caretaker—and what she needs This episode is a loving reminder: Your needs matter. Your soul deserves care. And you don't have to carry it all alone.

What does it mean to risk love again—after loss, heartbreak, and the disorientating grief that follows? In this incredibly tender and powerful conversation, I'm joined by Stephanie Duncan Smith, author of Even After Everything, to talk about the kind of spiritual confusion that often follows personal loss—particularly pregnancy loss. Stephanie shares how, after experiencing a miscarriage, her faith didn't disappear—but it did change its shape. Together, we explore how to stay grounded in God's love even when your emotions feel muted, your prayers feel flat, or your sense of spiritual connection feels off. Whether you've experienced loss or walked alongside someone who has, this episode is an invitation into honest faith and the sacred practice of hope. This episode explores: Why spiritual numbness is a natural response to pain What it looks like to grieve without having to fake it How to handle deep pain during seasons that are supposed to be joyful Why naming your loss honestly can help you heal How Stephanie processed the grief of pregnancy loss

What if anxiety isn't something to pray away—or push down—but an invitation to deeper healing? In this week's re-air of one of our most downloaded episodes, Dr. Alison sits down with theologian and mental health advocate Curtis Chang about how anxiety can actually become a doorway to your truest self in God. We explore:

If you've ever felt overwhelmed by your emotions or stuck in patterns of self-criticism, this episode offers a practical path forward rooted in both psychology and spiritual wisdom. In this powerful re-air of a foundational episode, Dr. Alison Cook introduces the transformative approach behind Boundaries for Your Soul. Drawing from Internal Family Systems (IFS) and Christian faith, Alison shares how to lead your inner life with clarity, kindness, and strength. Instead of pushing away difficult emotions, you'll learn how to create space for them—with healthy boundaries that bring healing and peace. This episode explores: A step-by-step framework to navigate emotional overwhelm The 3 internal roles we all carry—and how to listen to each one with care Why spiritual growth requires emotional awareness How Jesus modeled soul-level boundaries An effective way to approach anxiety, anger, or fear without shame Whether you're just beginning your healing journey or deep in the work of personal transformation, this episode will give you tools to understand yourself better and lead from a place of wholeness.

Is summer leaving you more frazzled than refreshed? Between travel, family gatherings, long days, and shifting routines, summer can test your limits in unexpected ways. If you're feeling stretched thin, resentful, or just plain exhausted—this episode will be your step by step practical guide to resetting your boundaries. Backed by recent research and years of experience, Dr. Alison walks you through why boundaries are essential for your brain, relationships, and emotional health—and how to set them with clarity and kindness. In this episode, you'll learn: How healthy boundaries light up your brain The difference between healthy boundaries and controlling behavior Three levels of boundaries—from simple resets to firm protection Five boundary shortcuts you can start using today (with practical scripts!) Why the hardest boundaries are often the ones we set with ourselves If you're longing for a summer with more peace, more joy, and less emotional exhaustion, this episode will leave you feeling empowered and equipped.

What if your story—even the complicated parts—could become a doorway to deeper faith? In this inspiring conversation, Dr. Alison Cook is joined by author and professor Dr. Esau McCaulley, whose journey is a powerful example of how owning your story—even the hard parts—can lead to growth, healing, and deeper purpose. Together they explore how to reflect on your past with clarity, how to honor your roots while still moving forward, and how to build a faith and life that reflects who you truly are becoming. We talk about: How to grow stronger by facing your story with honesty Why your past doesn't define your future—but it does matter How to forgive and still honor your boundaries The role of family, race, and faith in shaping identity How to live with more purpose by integrating your whole self A hopeful perspective on becoming grounded, resilient, and open to change If you're on a journey of becoming more emotionally and spiritually whole, this episode will leave you feeling inspired, grounded, and more connected to your own growth.

What do you do when the very place that was supposed to nourish your soul becomes a source of deep harm? In this deeply moving and necessary conversation, therapist, pastor, and trauma specialist Rachael Clinton Chen joins Dr. Alison Cook to talk about the pain of spiritual abuse—and what it looks like to begin healing from it. Whether you've experienced overt harm in a religious setting or carry subtle wounds from spiritual messaging that shaped your identity in unhealthy ways, this episode offers a gentle, powerful invitation toward healing, dignity, and reclaiming your voice. Rachael shares: Her own story of healing from spiritual abuseWhy spiritual pain is often so hard to name How systems of control in churches and families silence women and survivors The importance of embodiment and “coming home to yourself” in healing A theological lens for honoring your anger, grief, and truth If you've ever questioned your worth because of how faith was used against you—or wondered how to hold onto your spirituality while confronting the harm—you're not alone. This episode is full of insight, validation, and hope for your journey.

What happens when repair in your family isn't possible—at least not yet? In this powerful follow-up to last week's conversation on family pain, psychologist and author Dr. Joshua Coleman sits with me as we explore the heartbreak and complexity of family estrangement—from both sides of the story. With deep compassion and personal insight, Dr. Coleman shares what he's learned through decades of research—and from his own journey as a parent who experienced estrangement from his adult daughter. Whether you're the one who stepped away from a parent or you're a parent who's been cut off by a child, this conversation offers a rare, balanced look at a path to healing. Dr. Coleman shares: Why estrangement is rising—and what's really behind it When a temporary break might be helpful What to do if your parent won't take responsibility—or if your child won't re-engage How humility (not humiliation) opens the door to healing Practical guidance for both adult children and estranged parents If you've ever wrestled with how to honor a parent who hurt you—or how to rebuild with a child who's walked away—this episode is full of wisdom, hope, and next steps.

What do you do when your family is the source of your deepest wounds? How do you hold onto your identity without cutting off the people who raised you? In this transformative conversation, therapist and relationship coach Jerry Wise discusses the concept of self-differentiation—a powerful framework for healing from family dysfunction without shame or blame. Whether you're navigating complex family ties, considering going no contact, or simply longing to feel more like you, this episode offers a clear path forward rooted in wisdom, compassion, and courage. Jerry shares: His own journey from dysfunction to emotional clarity Why cutting ties doesn't always lead to healing—and what might How to spot when you're still emotionally enmeshed (even with distance) Practical steps to stop reacting and start reclaiming your sense of self If you've ever felt stuck in old family roles, overwhelmed by guilt, or confused about how to move forward with—or without—your family, this episode will meet you with both empathy and actionable insight.