Well Sh*t. It really is that simple...

Well Sh*t. It really is that simple - Episode 159 - "How to know if the way you're meeting your needs is disempowering (Shapes 1) - The Victim Approach" is now LIVE!Full Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide***Trigger Warning - Ableist terminology and references to self harmWe've been talking about it since the beginning. It's been on the "to record" list for over a year. The wait is finally over...we're talking about shapes! Join us for today's episode where get into the shapes and dive deep into the Victim Approach. Although the show notes are slim, we promise you this episode is packed full of information that can change how you approach everyone in your life. You may be shocked how often this approach shows up in your everyday life. In this episode we cover:What we're celebrating on today's episodeAn important consideration when meeting our needs The history of the Drama Triangle Overview of the Empowerment Ecosystem What is the Victim ApproachThe primary characteristic of someone who is in the Victim ApproachSome of the ways the Victim Approach manifests in everyday life Examples of Victim Approach behaviors The difference between Serena "poltergeisting" and taking time for herselfLooking for where we have adopted Victim Approach behaviors in our own livesEpisode References:The Apology Blueprint episode - Episode 156 - The 6 essential parts of an effective apologyThe red green spectrum episode - Episode 121 - How trying to maintain an image can compromise your needsThe toxic positivity episode - Episode 39 - Just HOW toxic is Toxic Positivity?Note: Irish goodbye is a term used to describe leaving a social gathering without saying goodbye to anyone. Although it is not often seen as an issue, it is seen as offensive and perpetuation of a stereotype. For that reason, we will try to utilize other terms to describe this action. As it is an ableist term, we have changed paralysis to freezing going forward

Well Sh*t. It really is that simple - Episode 158 - "When giving a second chance is a good idea...and when it isn't" is now LIVE!Full Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuidePeople generally want to receive (and give) second chances and have relationships be "good" however, this isn't always in the best interest of anyone involved. Join us as we talk about the second part of second chances, when should you give second chances and what the warning signs are that it may not be the best idea. Sometimes second chances simply aren't a good idea and that it OK. In this episode we cover:What happens when we want to give a second chance and shouldn't Why it is OK not to give a second chanceOur brain and our being, the difference between listening to our gut and our fearThe indicators that we may want to give a second chanceUnderstanding and achieving emotional resolution Withdrawing from the "relationship bank account" Second chance red flags and warning signs That's not an apology!"Now you have to forgive me"What is love bombing and why it's so harmfulSerena's shift from love bombing to love sprinklingThe role discomfort can play in second chancesWhen we don't get the second chanceThe first second chances episode - 155 - Why do some people get second chances, and some people don't?The Apology Blueprint episode - Episode 156 - The 6 essential parts of an effective apologyThe relationship orbits episode - Episode 154 - What are your relationship orbits, and how can they protect you?Episode References:

Well Sh*t. It really is that simple - Episode 157 - "An "apology" to avoid consequences is not an apology, it's manipulation (and other things that help you to make an effective apology)" is now LIVE!Full Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuideImagine receiving (what feels like) a heartfelt apology and finding out it was actually an attempt to manipulate you. Unfortunately, this happens all too often. As we talked about in our last episode an effective apology can repair and strengthen a relationship and an ineffective one can further erode and sometimes destroy it. In this episode we'll get into how an apology can actually be a manipulation that is doing further harm to everyone involved, ways you may be manipulating or being manipulated and how to recognize these manipulation tactics. We'll also provide you with some additional tips and considerations for making an effective apology. In this episode we cover:Our villain eras...cynical or silly?How manipulating someone impacts and compromises our needsThe destructive seeds manipulation plantsThe importance of feeling our way through apologiesHow an ineffective apology can create anxietyWhen someone keeps bringing up something that happened a long time agoClaire's experience of having a personal development tool used to manipulate herUsing the shame spiral as a form of manipulationCentering the person who has been harmedEpisode References:The Apology Blueprint episode - Episode 156 - The 6 essential parts of an effective apologyThe guilt and shame episode - Episode 43 - The Guilt & Shame Series: The difference between guilt and shameThe episode we talk about emotional processing - Episode 68 - That's not rambling, it's meeting your needsThe clearing niggles episode - Episode 61 - Friendship Series: Clearing NigglesEpisode 28 - An antidote to anxietyNote: Murphy's Law was a principle (the actual phrasing is debated) coined by Edward A. Murphy Jr., an Air Force engineer working at Edwards Air Force Base in the late 1940s. The law's origins are linked to a specific incident where a technician wired a sensor backwards, rendering it useless.

Well Sh*t. It really is that simple - Episode 156 - "The 6 essential parts of an effective apology" is now LIVE!Full Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuideSorry. A word that holds a lot of weight but often has little meaning. An apology is so much more, which is why we have created a blueprint to help us navigate the moments where we have messed up. Join us for another installment of "Claire's Most Important Episodes" as we breakdown the Apology Blueprint. By the end of this episode you'll have all the steps needed for an effective apology and know the difference following (or bypassing) these steps will have on you and your relationships. In this episode we cover:The many areas in your life where this can be transformativeThe role trauma plays when apologizingWhen an apology doesn't have the desired effectWhy sorry isn't part of the blueprintThe six parts to an apology How our unmet needs can effect an apologyThe impact an effective or ineffective apology can have on you and your relationshipsWhat gives the apology meaning or strips it of meaningThe essential 8 stepsThe full Apology BlueprintEpisode References:The trauma episode - Episode 86 - Trauma Series: What is trauma?The guilt and shame episode - Episode 43 - The Guilt & Shame Series: The difference between guilt and shameThe clearing niggles episode - Episode 61 - Friendship Series: Clearing NigglesDownload The Apology Blueprint PDF here: https://theuniversalneeds.com/Apology

Well Sh*t. It really is that simple - Episode 155 - "Why do some people get second chances, and some people don't?" is now LIVE!Full Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuideEver wonder why it seems some people throw second chances around like confetti but you didn't get invited to the party? Unfortunately it's unlikely the invitation got lost in the mail however there is still a gift to be received. Join us today where we get into the first part of second chances and discuss why they are (or aren't given), the crucial mistakes that can be made and the most important thing that can be taken from all second chances, whether they are received or not. In this episode we cover:The factors that play into why some people receive second chances and some don'tWhy people need second chances? Investing and withdrawing from "relationship accounts"The rare occurrence when not getting a second chance doesn't have to do with youHow good intentions can sometimes make things worseThe surprising place where trust is often built and can actually be accelerated The importance of acknowledgement The simplified reasons someone doesn't get a second chanceWhen you aren't who you used to beHow Serena gets extra funds in her relationship accountsThe opportunity we get in every second chance (whether you get it or not)The mistake a lot of people make when trying to make amendsThe second part of second chancesEpisode References:The trauma series - Episode 86 - Trauma Series: What is trauma?, Episode 87 - Trauma Series: How do you identify trauma? and Episode 88 - Trauma Series: How to heal trauma and triggersThe episode about intention vs impact - Episode 41 - Why your intention REALLY doesn't matter…The original Apology Blueprint episode - Episode 16 - How to apologize (and why sorry isn't enough)

Well Sh*t. It really is that simple - Episode 154 - "What are your relationship orbits, and how can they protect you?" is now LIVE!Full Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuideGet ready to blast off because we're taking a journey to outer space and exploring our relationship orbits. We've talked about them before and today we're taking a deeper dive into what they are, how they are determined and how you can use them to protect yourself. In this episode we cover:How excited we are about our new Rode podcast setupWhat is the relationship orbits? The two aspects of the orbitsWhat determines the distance of our orbitsThe different facets of trustWhat happens when we want to trust peopleSerena's "Well Shit" moment How potential can manipulate our orbits Letting our orbits fall naturallyLoving people from a distanceThe roles trust and trauma play in our relationship orbitsHealing broken trustClaire's strategy for sending people into the far depths of spaceWhat happens when we become complacent in our relationshipsHow to support our orbits through the actions we takeThe relationship between trust and boundariesEpisode References:The niggle monster episode - Episode 61 - Friendship Series: Clearing NigglesThe original relationship orbits episode - Episode 17 - What to do when you're waiting for an apology that will never comeThe honesty episode - 146 - How honest should you be with children?The traumas episode - Episode 65 - People Pleasing Series - The root of most people pleasing

Well Sh*t. It really is that simple - Episode 153 - "The power of whimsy when meeting your needs" is now LIVE!Full Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuideToday we're going on a whimsical adventure and you're invited. The power of whimsy goes way beyond sparkles and bubbles and is a highly underestimated tool that can be used to bring a little something extra to many areas of your life. Join us on today's episode as we get our whimsy on and talk about how adding even just a little whimsy can have a big impact on your needs. In this episode we cover:- What is a Ta-Da List?- Expanding your Emotional Experience and Expression Need- Using whimsy as a tool to mitigate issues in your life- The many adventures of Serena- Creating magic in moments where others would see misery- What's essential to bringing in whimsy - When it's helpful to bring in whimsy- Using whimsy to enhance your experiences- Getting comfortable with whimsy- Why people are afraid of whimsy- The joy of bubbles- Using whimsy to help make something enjoyable that usually isn't- The flexibility of whimsy- Creating a whimsical ripple effect and the affect that can have on youEpisode References:- The niggle episode - Episode 61 - Friendship Series: Clearing Niggles

Well Sh*t. It really is that simple Episode 152 - "Are you avoiding something that would meet your needs because you're not "good at it"?" is now LIVE!Full Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuideHow often do you stop yourself from doing something that would meet your needs simply because you think you can't or you don't think you'll be good at it? Well, you're not alone. Join us for today's episode where we talk about why we do this, what we should be considering and what we're actually holding ourselves back from. In this episode we cover:- The language usage that stops us from even trying - The processing power of karaoke- Fear of failure- What happens when someone believes they can't do something - Serena's new hobby- Finding the elements that elevate your experience of meeting your needs- What a banana duct taped to a wall has to do with anything- Illusions of success - Connecting to your why- Claire's art debut- What's the point?- Connecting to your humanity through imperfection- Why Claire wants to be one of the birds- Living your best life

Well Sh*t. It really is that simple - Episode 151 - "What Bieber, a bucket and Bourdain have to do with needs" is now LIVE!Full Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuideIt may sound like the setup for a joke, but today's episode really isn't a laughing matter. So often people act without regard to who will have to deal with the consequences of their choices, actions and behaviors. In today's episode we put a needs lens on a celebrity situation and discuss the ripple effect we have on those around us In this episode we cover:- Why we are talking about Bieber, a bucket and Bourdain - Reasonable expectations- Superiority and the workforce- The ripple effect of our actions - Why wouldn't you help someone?- Respecting community - The emotional impact and ripple effect our emotions can have- The unconscious spiral that's created by not realizing the negative impact to our needs- Tapping into what sits in our subconsciousEpisode References:- The last episode about judgement - Episode 150 - Why "We listen and we don't judge is so problematic- The Britney episode - Episode 122 - We are all human- Episode 149 - The ONLY thing you owe other people

Well Sh*t. It really is that simple - Episode 150 - "Why "We listen and we don't judge" is SO problematic" is now LIVE!Full Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuideViral trends are a dime a dozen and one in particular has caught our eye. On today's episode we're diving into the viral trend "We listen and we don't judge". Join us as we discuss how this seemingly nonjudgemental space can prove to be harmful and act to undermine the trust of relationships, eventually pulling them apart.In this episode we cover:- The "We listen and we don't judge" trend- Is judging people a bad thing?- What can happen when spaces are labeled "nonjudgemental"- Social norms and the expectations related to trends- How trends like this can harm your relationships- Why is this trend so problematic?- Shielding to avoid consequences- The vicious cycle that can be created- What dodgeball has to do with it- The missed opportunity for deeper connection and healing- Why it's a little culty- How we unconsciously undermine our relationships- Why we allow people to judge us Episode References:- The episode from our friendship series - Episode 60 - Friendship Series: Having the hard conversations and getting comfortable with being uncomfortable- The steps to an apology episode - Episode 16 - Apology Series: How to apologize (and why sorry isn't enough)- The clearing niggles episode - Episode 61 - Friendship Series: Clearing Niggles

Well Sh*t. It really is that simple - Episode 149 - "The ONLY thing you owe other people" is now LIVE!*Trigger Warning - Example of a man seriously compromising woman's needsFull Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuideSocial norms have many of us thinking that we owe others or that others owe us. Whether it is due to conditioning, a bid to be seen as polite or a sense of entitlement, there are many reasons we find ourselves expecting and abiding to these norms that don't always serve us. Join us on today's episode where we discuss what is the one thing we actually do owe to each other. In this episode we cover:- What is the one thing we actually owe others- Societal expectations - Creating a sense of obligation through an entitlement of response- What social norms have to do with being polite - When its a "you" problem- What the patriarchy has to do with it- The difference between being rude and being direct- The toxicity of social norms- The role choice plays in rudeness- How consistently meeting our needs helps us to move away from societal norms- What can happen if we don't honor where we're at (regardless of the social norm) - Creating closer relationships by removing social norms that don't serve usEpisode References:- The trauma episode - Episode 87 - Trauma Series: How do you identify trauma?Notes:Link to the "Don't be polite to me who creep you out" song - On TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@jodeliciouss/video/7305138583751380254?lang=enAnd on youtube: https://youtube.com/shorts/jF9uLGAUsRA?si=mjAK1Brjc-P-Sz3-

Well Sh*t. It really is that simple - Episode 148 - "How to find your needs "big hitters"" is now LIVE!Full Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuideGiven that everything we do every second of every day is done in an attempt to get our needs met, you would think it would be easy to know what things would have the most impact. Unfortunately, that isn't always the case. Especially when we are in a state of coping, it's not always easy to recognize the things that will REALLY meet our needs and make the noticeable difference within us. Join us on today's episode where we discuss finding, and remembering, the "big hitters" that can make the big difference. In this episode we cover:- Claire's "self-care" getaway- Taking the 80/20 rule and making it a 95/5- Finding your "big hitters"- Combining little things to create a big needs impact- The whimsy of Woody T. Box- How habits and patterns can prevent us from fully meeting our needs- Making an appointment to meet your needs- Why we often don't do the things to support our needs- Being students of our work- Noticing the physical indicators of nourishment- Recognizing when you're masking your needsEpisode References:- The episode where we reference "power ups" - Episode 28 - An antidote to anxiety- The episode where we talk about the Red-Green Spectrum - Episode 3 - I need to do WHAT?- The "But" episode - Episode 143 - Get your But out of here- The episode where we talk about the levels of competence - 134 - What if feedback could be the ultimate gift?

Well Sh*t. It really is that simple - Episode 147 - "How much emotion should you show children?" is now LIVE!Full Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuideEmotions can play a big role in cultivating a relationship of trust and transparency with children. Tune into this week's episode where we discuss how connecting with and expressing your emotions can better equip your child with the ability to connect with, process and flow with their own.In this episode we cover:- The connection between emotionality and honesty- How being open with our emotions can help to children learn to process - What happens when children aren't witnessing emotions- Showing children the process of emotionality- Using emotions as teachable moments- Smelling the flowers and blowing out the candles- Validating emotions to children- Supporting your child's needs through supporting your own- Giving permission to feel emotion- Showing the full spectrum of emotion- Teaching children to expressing their emotions in selfirst ways- Allowing ourselves to be messy- The importance of dialog with emotionEpisode References:- Our last episode - Episode 146 - How honest should you be with children?- The emotional tunnel episode - Episode 32 - Why (generally speaking) there are no such thing as negative emotions

Trigger Warning - Serious, life threatening assault *** Although not detailed or graphic, especially given the topic we are speaking about today, we understand this may be triggering to some viewers. This reference begins at timestamp 00:57:14 and ends at 01:02:36. ***Well Sh*t. It really is that simple - Episode 146 - "How honest should you be with children" is now LIVE!Full Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuideIf there is a little in your life, chances are the question of how honest to be with them has come up. In today's episode we sift through some of the nuance that surrounds this topic. We'll also discuss how cultivating a relationship of transparency and trust between a caregiver and child can serve to keep a child safe and potentially bring them to their greatest joy.In this episode we cover:- The relationship between honesty and our Security Need- What can happen when we try to protect children in the short term - The three types of honesty- When the truth bomb goes off- Protecting a child's relationship with the other parent- Age appropriate focus and approaches- What happens when we aren't honest with children- The impact of a caregiver's unmet needs on their child- The importance of information for a child- Cultivating safety, trust and an honest relationship with a child- Our responsibility as caregivers- The long-term effect of placing trust in children- Gaslighting children - Teaching children to notice "red flags" and trust themselves

Well Sh*t. It really is that simple - Episode 145 - "When your help is actually a hinderance" is now LIVE!Full Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuideIt can be challenging for us to know what we need to meet our needs at any given moment and yet we often forget this, especially when it comes to suggestions. We can be so eager to jump in and "help" that we don't realize we could not only be negatively impacting the person we're trying to support but also our relationship with them and our own needs as well. Tune into this week's episode where we will discuss how to better support those around you while supporting yourself in the process.In this episode we cover:- Compromising our needs to meet our needs- Mr. Razzle Dazzle's first on screen cameo- When wanting to help and support can have the opposite effect- Getting buried in noodles - The fundamental components to offering help- The impact suggestions can have on your relationships- What it means to throw noodles- Claire learns about the "Oooodea" for the first time- Enacting our Personal Power - Timing is everything- How options, and how their managed, can affect your relationship orbits- The importance of asking questions- The ideal number of options- Embracing the weird- Avoiding rescuer modeEpisode References:- The episode where we talk about the relationship orbits - Episode 17 - What to do when you're waiting for an apology that will never come- The episode where we talk about impact over intention - Episode 41 - Why your intention REALLY doesn't matter…- The feedback episode - 134 - What if feedback could be the ultimate gift?

Well Sh*t. It really is that simple - Episode 144 - "The importance of befriending your rage" is now LIVE!Full Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide Rage is a valid human emotion that we are often taught to repress and ignore. The power of rage can be scary and it doesn't have to be destructive. Tune in to today's episode to find out how to harness its power to begin making positive and constructive change for yourself and others. In this episode we cover:- Claire's Rage Room experience and her weapon of choice- The social perception of rage and what that does to our needs- The truth about anger management- The importance of processing mentally, physically and emotionally- Channeling, processing and expressing rage in selfirst ways- Claire's tip toe through Serena's mine field of a question- Directing your rage towards others- How to protect your needs when rage is present- Techniques to express rage and feel it more fully- The importance of intentionality - The path to forgiveness- The effects of allowing ourselves to feel anger and rage- Channeling range and anger to create positive and constructive change Episode References:- The episode where we talk about somatic processing - Episode 118 - I feel like I want to be angry but I don't know why- The episodes where we talk about processing your emotions - Episode 64 - When rising above can bite you in the ass and Episode 68 - That's not rambling, it's meeting your needs

Well Sh*t. It really is that simple - Episode 143 - "Get your But out of here" is now LIVE! Trigger Warning: Drowning Full Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide We find that people often put their buts where they don't belong, and no, that's not a typo. But may seem like such an insignificant word and that one word can change the entire meaning of a sentence. Tune in to find out if you might be putting your but in the wrong place and the negative impact that can be having to your conversations and your relationships. In this episode we cover: - One of the biggest language shifts you can make - How Claire feels about exclamation points - What but actually does to your sentence - Claire's introduction to School House Rock - Why we're so quick to use the word but - Subconscious usage and unconscious affects - Keeping the but out of customer service - The difference a language shift makes - Validating vs invalidating language - The stages of shifting language - The connection between but and trauma - Creating closer relationships by shifting your language - Removing other people's buts Episode References: - The episode where we talk about shifting language - Episode 40 - Let's absolutely lose the absolutes (although not ALWAYS absolutely...) - The C word episode - Episode 19 - The C-word - The episode where we talk about defensiveness - Episode 82 - Conflict Series: How to take the conflict out of (some) conversations - The episode where we talk about the different types of trauma - Episode 86 - Trauma Series: What is trauma? - The relationship orbits episode - Episode 17 - What to do when you're waiting for an apology that will never come

Well Sh*t. It really is that simple - Episode 142 - "How to cope when it feels like the world is falling apart" is now LIVE! Full Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide We're in some strange times and many people are struggling with not only is going on in their own lives, but in their wider community and the world as a whole. So, what can you do to hold yourself together when it feels as though everything is falling apart around you? In today's episode we talk about the little things that you can do to help meet your needs and cope, and how those little things can make a big difference. In this episode we cover: When everything that's happening feels so "big" What leads us to feel disempowered Where your power really lies What need is almost always up in these situations What happens when we are dealing with high anxiety situations Serena's disbelief that these techniques would work What is coping? The toxic positivity bandaid Preventing emotional bottlenecking The power of joy Shifting the energy The importance of staying in the present and what that allows us to do Why community is important, especially in difficult times Physical and emotional community How to create strong bonds in community Creating progress Engaging your personal power Episode References: Episode 28 - An antidote to anxiety The episode where we talk about the different trauma responses - Episode 87 - Trauma Series: How do you identify trauma? The toxic positivity episode - Episode 39 - Just HOW toxic is Toxic Positivity?

So often we sacrifice our wellbeing because we think it is expendable. We're conditioned to muster up and push through even if it compromises our needs in the process. Not only are we compromising our needs, they are often screaming at us to be met. In today's episode we discuss the warning signs your body may be giving you that your needs are unmet and how to use your body, and your other needs, as a guide to creating something even better. In this episode we cover: Claire's experience that inspired this episode "What if I just...?" What does "I can't afford to be sick" really mean The knock on effect pushing through can have Showing up for others Listening to the indicators your needs are unmet Focusing on what you can't do vs what you are able to do The rules and restrictions we put on ourselves Normalizing meeting our needs in the ways that work for us Finding the people who embrace you meeting your needs Having the resources to create Seeking and receiving attention Getting to zero fucks given (in a selfirst way) Embracing the bubbly joy Opening the possibilities for others Episode References: Our last episode where we talk about FOMO and ROMO - Episode 140 - FOMO, ROMO, SOMO and JOMO The clearing Niggles episode - Episode 61 - Friendship Series: Clearing Niggles The episode where we talk about people not being able to show up - Episode 128 - When someone can't show up for you when you need or want them to Full Show notes: ⁠https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide⁠

The terms FOMO and JOMO have become buzz words over the years and even if you aren't aware of what they mean, you may be experiencing the effects of them. Join us for today's episode where we will discuss the fear and joy of missing out, introduce the lesser known members of the OMO family and help to find the balance so you feel less anticipation and anxiety and feel more alignment and fulfillment. In this episode we cover: The cause of Serena's current FOMO and JOMO What are FOMO and JOMO Claire's Fantasy Fest JOMO The "highlight reel" What is SOMO What are the main drivers of FOMO, JOMO and SOMO What is ROMO The role the highlight reel played in Serena's Fantasy Fest experience over the years Looking at the wholeness of a situation What it means to resource yourself How to experience more JOMO and ROMO and less FOMO and SOMO The flip side of the OMOs The difference doing things differently can make The constant balancing act we perform Episode References: The episode where we talk about the emotional rollercoaster - Episode 133 - Why we sometimes resist joy Full Show notes: ⁠https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide⁠

"You're so strong". It's a compliment that's meant to encourage and support, especially during trying times. What if we told you that telling someone they are strong may not have the positive impact you're intending, in fact, it could have just the opposite. Join us today as we discuss what this phrase really means, the impact it can have on us and what we can do differently that will actually be supportive. In this episode we cover: - How do we know someone is a strong person? - What we're actually saying when we tell people they're strong - What we can say instead - Why we think strength is a compliment - The power in acknowledging where someone is at - The consent tea analogy and what consent has to do with these types of "compliments" - Why we use strength as a compliment - Reading the room - How this has impacted Claire given what she's dealing with - Different variations of strength - Why our internal dialogs about strength can be detrimental - The point where compliments turn into criticisms - Avoiding the shame spiral - How we can better support the people in our lives Episode References: - The episode where we talk about acknowledgment during grieving - Episode 76 - Grief Series - How to support grieving - The episode where we talk about the emotional tunnel is Episode 32 - Why (generally speaking) there are no such thing as negative emotions - The episode where we talk about witnessing - Episode 96 - What to do when they're not OK Series: How to support without rescuing - Guilt and shame series - Episode 43 - The Guilt & Shame Series: The difference between guilt and shame; Episode 44 - The Guilt & Shame Series: That's not guilt, it's shame in disguise; Episode 45 - The Guilt & Shame Series: That's not guilt, it's an attempt at manipulating your humanity Full Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide

If you're familiar with the term word salad, you know it's not a nutritious treat. For those who aren't familiar, tune in to today's episode where we discuss what word salad is, how it is used and how it compromises the needs of the people engaging with it. In this episode we cover: What is "word salad" Verbal gaslighting Recognizing word salad and the impact it can have on your needs What happens when someone uses word salad unconsciously The key to communicating effectively What Claire thinks is one of the most vicious sales tactics The subconscious reason word salad is used Using word salad consciously Why someone would intentionally use this technique How word salad is used in culty dynamics The illusion of helping people Claire's experience with having to translate jargon between two different corporate departments What is jargon Understanding the needs of your customer What to do when you find yourself on the receiving end of word salad Episode References: The episode where we share our sale's process - Episode 129 - The key to customer experience, that is also the key to incredible friendships The episode about fulfillment and goal setting - Episode 137 - Why happiness is not the goal Note: Rope swing cartoon -  https://media.licdn.com/dms/image/v2/C5622AQHxNgvbF5SpWw/feedshare-shrink_800/feedshare-shrink_800/0/1614144239060?e=2147483647&v=beta&t=LR8pQcuo4VHHbWqKkYodnG6KpDYp7LT-Xsl4kb1My0g Full Show notes: ⁠https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide⁠

When we don't achieve happiness we can feel as though there is something wrong with us or that we've failed. This is because we're in the pursuit of happiness...that's the point right!? Not quite. Join us for today's episode where we discuss what happens when we make happiness the goal, the difference between happiness and fulfillment and how to create a path that allows you to achieve both. In this episode we cover: The pursuit of happiness Issues with happiness as the goal What happens when we're not "happy" and how we internalize that I should be happy, I'm not and I don't know why Seeing life through the Needs Lens and seeing the Needs Lens through life Isolating happiness and removing its joy The connection between grief and happiness What happens when we force ourselves into happiness What is fulfillment and how it's difference from happiness Creating a path to fulfillment The practice Claire used during both natural disasters and heartbreak Why our happiness is vulnerable What happens when your focus switches from happiness to fulfillment How the movie "Inside Out 2" serves as a great representation of this What would happen when Claire would meditate and how it relates to fulfillment Episode References: Episode 39 - Just HOW toxic is Toxic Positivity? The anger, judgment and carrots episode - Episode 33 - Why there's no such thing as negative emotions The episode about why we don't share the Universal Needs (yet) - Episode 8 - Shhh, I've got a secret… The episode where we talk about miswanting - Episode 136 - Why you might not WANT the goal that you THINK you do…especially when it comes to weight loss The episode where we talk about dopamine hits - Episode 135 - The problem with goal setting Note: We do not believe we should be utilizing the term "zen" as it is not stemming from our lineage its usages is cultural appropriation. We will continue to be mindful of this and act to remove it from our language.  Full Show notes: ⁠https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide⁠

Have you ever set a goal and reached it only to find out the result wasn't what you were expecting? When it comes to setting goals, weigh loss is a topic that often comes up and, especially as women, one that both Claire and Serena have had a long history with. In the second episode of our impromptu setting goals mini-series, we'll share how to set set goals in ways where you will enjoy the process and truly meet your needs along the way. We'll also discuss the approaches to goal setting and how it's relevant to so much more than just weight In this episode we cover: The ideals that we have in our heads, especially when it comes to weight The mind blowing thing that happened when Claire's friend met her weight loss goal What's your "number"? Serena's experience with this given her extreme weight loss Why we think we want to meet our goals and what happens when we get there What is miswanting Putting a Needs Lens on Dr. Laurie Santo's Yale course "The Science of Wellbeing" The Life Conveyor Belt The problem with getting exactly what you wanted The outside in approach to meeting your needs Who are the happiest people and why? The expectations we have in life vs the reality The inside out approach to meeting your needs How to audit using a Needs Lens Finding what works Episode References: The first episode in the goals mini-series - 135 - The problem with goal setting Notes: "Women who are not married and do not have children are the happiest group in the population." The study was done by Paul Dolan, a Happiness Expert and Professor of Behavioural Science at the London School of Economics - https://pauldolan.co.uk/happy-ever-after/prof-paul-dolan-on-the-independent-and-who-the-happiest-people-of-all-are.html Full Show notes: ⁠https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide⁠

This time of year we are often focused on phrases like "out with the old and in with the new" or "new year, new you". This "new" often comes in the form of setting goals. Join us on today's episode as we discuss why goals aren't always as helpful as we may think they are, the negative impact they can have on us and what we can do to reach our desired outcomes in ways that are simple and help make the entire process feel better. In this episode we cover: What is the problem with goal setting What often happens when we set significant goals How we can start to do things differently Claire's marathon training How to create to meeting your goals How Claire and Serena set goals to create a process that feels easy and supportive The role dopamine plays in your goal setting and how to create more of it The importance of balancing chunking and dopamine hacking The problem with quantitive goals and what can work better Where our focus is and where it should be to help meet and exceed our goals How to train your brains Serena's experience with goal setting at the gym The exercise Claire gives clients as an alternate to goal setting How we make ourselves miserable The negative impacts to our needs reaching a big goal can have The four quadrants that help you achieve your goals How to meet the right person for you Enjoying the process of reaching your goals Life getting in the way of your goals Episode References: The episode where we talk about "new year, new you" - Episode 111 - It's OK to change behaviors if they no longer meet your needs Our last episode where we talk about our training to feel bad abut ourselves - Episode 134 - What if feedback could be the ultimate gift Notes: In case you're curious, in the 7 months of marathon training Claire covered 132.27 miles Full Show notes: ⁠https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide⁠

It's easy to take feedback as a criticism, especially since we are conditioned to base our self worth on the opinions and judgements of others. When we stop viewing feedback as something to get defensive about and start viewing it as something to lean into, we can create more fulfilling and supportive relationships. Tune into today's episode where we discuss how we can utilize feedback to bring our relationships closer together and why it really is one of the greatest gifts you can give your relationships. In this episode we cover: Why Serena has sparkle FOMO Why we get defensive when we receive feedback The connection between being right and our Value Need Mental gymnastics and the holes we dig ourselves into Removing our dependency on other people and connecting to our intrinsic value Feedback that compromises needs Levels of competence The steps to responding to feedback Seeing feedback as a gift When feedback isn't delivered in the most kind and respectable way Disarming the charge of feedback How "I didn't know" can cause fractures in a relationships or bring them closer together Episode References: Our holiday themed episodes - Episode 55 - Our Wholeness Holiday Series: 'Tis the season to be selfirst, Episode 56 - Our Wholeness Holiday Series: Taking the pressure out of the holidays, Episode 57 - Our Wholeness Holiday Series: How to create the holiday season that works for YOU, Episode 58 - Our Wholeness Holiday Series: How to start the year filled up, 111 - It's OK to change behaviors if they no longer meet your needs Our episodes on connecting with your value - Episode 34 - Self Worth Series: The difference between self worth and confidence, Episode 66 - People Pleasing Series - Sorry Not Sorry, Episode 114 - How to deal with Imposter Syndrome The episode where we talk about the Star Trek shields - Episode 28 - An antidote to anxiety The episode about bringing relationships closer together - Episode 13 - How screw ups can make our relationships closer Full Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide

Trigger warning: Gambling addiction Life will inevitably have it's ups and downs which means it's not if a drop will happen, it's when. Join us on today's episode where we will take a journey on the emotional rollercoaster and share what we can do before and during that drop so that our highs become higher and our lows aren't as low. In this episode we cover: Focusing on "problem" emotions Why do some people resist joy? The four main reasons people experience anxiety The relationship between anxiety and joy The emotional rollercoaster How we steal joy from ourselves Avoiding hitting bottom How we rung every drop of joy out of Serena leaving the island The fear of losing joy How you can create more joy What really may be waiting for you at the top of the roller coaster Why do some people hate change? Determining what you want from where you're at The problem with the happiness rollercoaster Episode References: Episode 28 - An antidote to anxiety The episode in which we talk about the star trek shields and the med packs - Episode 28 - An antidote to anxiety Full Show notes: ⁠https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide⁠

As adults it can be hard to identify and process our emotions, yet we often expect children to be able to do so as if they were adults. Their worlds are often much smaller than ours, and because of that, emotions can feel very big. Tune into today's episode where we will discuss the process Claire suggests to help children process the full spectrum of emotions in ways that are healthy, and can help to create better habits as an adult. In this episode we cover: What happens when we don't express our emotions The route to becoming a fulfilled and well supported adult How we can help support our children's needs The emotional awareness of children The process Claire gave a client to help their child process and express their emotions Why this process is so powerful Our conditioning around processing anger The three steps to experiencing the full emotional spectrum The effect hiding emotions from your child can have The vulnerability of joy Episode References: The episode where we talk about the Red-Green Spectrum - Episode 3 - I need to do WHAT? The episode where we talk about dancing to somatically move emotions - Episode 130 - When in doubt, dance it out (or your version of this!) Full Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide

We're so conditioned to do it...someone does something wrong, apologizes for it and then, often without even thinking about it, the next phrase out of our mouth is "it's OK". In today's episode we discuss what is really happening when we say this phrase and how we can begin to change this conditioning. In this episode we cover: Claire's exciting news The TikTok that prompted this episode What saying sorry really is The thing that we desperately resist that significantly compromises our relationships What really happens when we say "it's OK" Showing strength of character What can create motivation that brings our relationships closer together The triple whammy of anxiety The formula we learn during childhood and why it doesn't work Temperature checking the relationships in our lives What not saying anything can do What's the why? How to heal the root issue Episode References: The Guilt & Shame Series - Episode 43 - The Guilt & Shame Series: The difference between guilt and shame The anxiety episode - Episode 28 - An antidote to anxiety The episode about the relationship orbits and the Apology Blueprint - Episode 17 - Apology Series: What to do when you're waiting for an apology that will never come Full Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide

Adulting is hard, life be lifeing and shit is inevitably going to happen. Many of us are no stranger to this however, not many people know the things that can really help them process when things get difficult. Join us for today's episode where we talk about what we can do to help get to the other side of the healing journey as quickly and easefully as possible. In this episode we cover: What dancing does for Claire and how its helped during her recent breakup The importance of self expression in processing What self expression actually does for us and our needs Finding what works for you Why it doesn't matter what you are "good" at The combination that can create magic in your processing Things we can do to get our system to process emotion The effect that dance has for both Claire and Serena Doing things we've never done before and what often prevents us from doing so The joy of twirling Removing the noise of other people's judgments Getting to the other side of healing Episode References: The episode where we talk about the haunted house - Episode 129- The key to customer experience, that is also the key to incredible friendships Notes: History/Timeline of Krumping: https://historytimelines.co/timeline/krumping Full Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide

Trigger warning - Arachnophobia What if we told you we have the key to increased business success AND more fulfilling personal relationships? Tune in to today's episode where we talk about the importance of learning what will both meet and compromise the needs of your customers and how easy learning this can be. We will also share the key thing that can improve the quality of all the relationships in your life. In this episode we cover: Serena's live studio audience Claire's Celebrate Being Alive Day The escape room that Claire was too scared to escape from and how a pirate saved the day A needs based haunted house model that can be applied to many areas of customer engagement Why specific, pre-determined levels and criteria is so important and how to communicate those How to be a great sales person How double glazed windows ruined Claire's mom's birthday What does "pass the salt" mean The difference between how teenage Claire would have handled a situation and how it would be handled now The key to both business and personal relationships Prank culture in relationships and what happens when we compromise someone else's needs for our entertainment The easiest way to tell what someone is thinking Our sales process and why we do things the way we do Episode References: The episode that talks about our notes - Episode 123 - How to support Neurospicy Needs The episode about the relationship orbits - Episode 17 - Apology Series: What to do when you're waiting for an apology that will never come Full Show notes: ⁠https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide⁠

Many of us have experienced times in our lives where we would have really liked to have had someone there to help support us with what we're going through and the person we wanted to be there isn't able to be. On the flip side, many of us have experienced really wanting to be there for someone and not being able to. If you've ever been in one of these situations and didn't know what to do, you're not alone and the good news is, we have something that can help. Join us on todays episode where we will discuss what to do when someone can't show up for you, as well as, what to do when you aren't able to show up for someone else. In this episode we cover: What happened when Serena was unable to show up for Claire How full transparency can help us to determine what is truly supportive in a situation The difference between needing community and being dependent on an individual person What we can do when we are in need of support How Claire navigated not having the support she referenced How we can build trust in your relationships The difference between the preference and the need How showing up can actually be detrimental How Serena navigated not being able to provide the support she wanted to and what she reluctantly had to admit to herself The different needs that came up throughout the process Creating mutually supportive relationships The thing that deepens friendships and relationships Episode References: The episode about the relationship orbits - Episode 17 - Apology Series: What to do when you're waiting for an apology that will never come The episode about the Star Trek Shields - Episode 28 - An antidote to anxiety

Dark humor. Not everyone has or uses it but for those of us that do, it can become a weight baring structor, especially when things are difficult. Join us this week as we discuss the use of dark humor in our lives, the negative impact it can have on ourselves and others, and whether or not it can be truly supportive to our needs. In this episode we cover: How Claire lost WAY much more weight than intended during the first week of her detox Serena's experience with grief, dark humor and how others respond What is dark humor? The role dark humor played in the passing of Serena's mom The misconception people can have about dark humor What makes using dark humor supportive to our needs or compromise our needs The post that triggered on-air realizations by both Claire and Serena The difference between not liking something and being negatively impacted by it How to avoid negatively impacting others with dark humor One of the most disempowering and unsupportive things someone can say How Serena used dark humor in the past vs now What Serena was unconsciously doing by using dark humor The most important thing to consider How to find out if something is supportive or unsupportive to our needs The breakdown of what happened during the episode - applying the Needs Lens Episode References: The episode that talks about the C-word - Episode 19 - The C-word Our apology blueprint is in Episode 16 - Apology Series: How to apologize (and why sorry isn't enough) Full Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide

It can be so easy to fall into old patterns and to make choices that compromise our needs. This comes as no surprise as we've been conditioned our entire lives to do so. In today's episode we'll be talking about this conditioning and what we can do to best support our needs, especially in difficult times. In this episode we cover: What's going on in Claire's world  How to make challenging times easeful (not easy) The tv dinner vs the home cooked way of meeting needs Why we return to bad habits and old patterns The difference between intentional coping and masking Being honest with where you're at  How we're conditioned to cope and why we're conditioned that way What it means when Claire treats herself The truth about diamonds and their relation to our conditioning Why Claire chose to stay on her detox and the impact of doing so What usually happens when we choose to "feel good" in the moment What Claire's needs told her and how it went again her conditioning  How piling shit on top of shit just leads to more shit  The difference between what your brain, your taste buds and your body is saying The episode that talks about the red-green spectrum - Episode 3 - I need to do WHAT? Claire was correct, the definition of sartorial - relating to tailoring, clothes, or style of dress. "sartorial elegance" Why do we say "in" a movie, but "on" TV: https://slate.com/human-interest/2015/10/why-are-you-on-a-tv-show-but-in-a-movie-several-hypotheses.html   Episode References:Note:

Well Sh*t. It really is that simple - Episode 125- "Emotions Mini-Series: What to do if you're hesitant about connecting with your emotions" is now LIVE! Full Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide In our last episode we talked about some of the tools we can use to connect with our emotions. This week we continue our emotions mini-series and discus what happens when we're hesitant to connect our emotions and how to approach them in ways that get us to the other side. In this episode we cover: - Claire's unwelcome visitor and her new expert skill - What happens when we "tip toe" into an emotion - The moral of the story and what Serena's bits have to do with it - How to make going "all in" easier - Focusing on the benefits to make the challenges easier - Our experiences with being "in it" - What facilitating extreme experiences taught Claire about needing to prove herself - Breaking an arrow with your neck and its relation to processing emotion - How to approach our emotions and how it makes the process easier - What can happen when we don't process emotion - Why we walk towards difficult emotions and how it allows us to better support others - Why most people pull away from difficult emotions Episode References: - The episode that explains why we're excited about our notes - Episode 123 - How to support Neurospicy Needs - The episode that talks about what's your outcome - Episode 120 - When things don't go to plan mini-series - "Creating"

Well Sh*t. It really is that simple - Episode 124- "Emotions Mini-Series: How to begin connecting with your emotions" is now LIVE! Full Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide Many of us have been raised in a culture that has taught us to repress, suppress and all together avoid the emotions that are hard or uncomfortable (for ourselves or for others). Join us in the first episode of our emotions mini-series where we're talking about these emotions, their importance in the meeting our needs and ways we can start to better connect with them. In this episode we cover: - The societal conditioning that can repress and/or suppress the fulfillment of our need to show emotion - The emotional dam - Our experiences with emotions throughout life - Wearing the "I'm Fine" mask - How to begin connecting with your emotions - Why we recommend to proceed with caution if processing on your own - The tools we can use to tap into our emotions - What is holding space - What happened when Claire returned to Key West and stopped coping - How you can begin accessing and externalizing your emotional experiences - Embracing the multifaceted nature of emotions - The key to fully processing emotion - Why we need to normalize doing what works for each individual (in Selfirst ways) Episode References: - The episode where we talk about the big 3 compromised needs - 122 - We are all human - The episode where we talk about clearing niggles - Episode 61 - Friendship Series: Clearing Niggles - The coping episode - Episode 119 - When things don't go to plan mini-series - "How to cope when things don't go to plan" - The episode where we talk about somatic processing - Episode 118 - I feel like I want to be angry but I don't know why

Well Sh*t. It really is that simple - Episode 123 - "How to support Neurospicy Needs" is now LIVE! Full Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide Those who tune in regularly know we are no strangers to rabbit holes, tangents and runaway trains of thought. If you're new to our show, buckle up cause we're going on an adventure. Join us today as we talk about our own journeys as Neurospicy women, learning to navigate the meeting of our needs and finding the things that make it easier to operate in a typical society that isn't often accommodating to or accepting of that which lies outside of the "norm". In this episode we cover: - Why Claire is in happy butt land - Some of the challenges that we have experienced being Neurospicy - How our brains working differently from the "norm" has helped our business - The niggle Claire cleared with Serena, how its affecting the podcast and how it could affect you the viewer - The neurotypical box - If I fits I sits - How self judgement prevents us from meeting our needs in effective ways - What Claire has discovered about falling asleep - You do you; embracing your uniqueness - Supporting our needs in alignment with our Neurodivergence - Life hacks and finding what works for you Episode References: - The episode where we talk about clearing niggles - Episode 61 - Friendship Series: Clearing Niggles - The image mini-series - Episode 121 - How trying to maintain an image can compromise your needs - 122 - We are all human - The coping episode - Episode 119 - When things don't go to plan mini-series - "How to cope when things don't go to plan"

Well Sh*t. It really is that simple - Episode 122 - "We are all human" is now LIVE! Full Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide We are all human. It's a phrase that is easy to say yet hard to embody. So often we hold those in positions of influence, and subsequently ourselves, to subhuman expectations and standards. Tune in to find out how doing this compromise the needs of everyone and what can be done to help us to recognize the humanity that lives within us all. In this episode we cover: - Where in the country is Serena? - Claire's good news - Why Chappell Roan setting boundaries is getting pushback - The celebrity standard - Putting a human lens on what Britney Spears experienced in her 20s - The reality of celebrity and its impact on needs - The celebrity that Serena wrote off, in part, because of her own entitlement - The expectations we put on ourselves and others - What the celebrity standard has to do with you - Why needs are musts - What happens when we put someone on a pedestal - The important reminders that help to remove pedestals - What happens when we connect with our humanity and the humanity of others - The shift Serena had regarding feeling less than in comparison with Claire - Why the podcast isn't called "Well Shit. It really is that easy" - The need that is usually pulling the strings Episode References: The episode where we talk about the Pintrest Mom - Episode 114 - How to deal with Imposter Syndrome The Inner Critic episode - Episode 92 - How to deal with the inner critic and inner saboteur The Apology Series - Episode 15 - Apology Series: When an apology actually damages needs, Episode 16 - Apology Series: How to apologize (and why sorry isn't enough), Episode 17 - Apology Series: What to do when you're waiting for an apology that will never come The episode where we explain the Needs Ecosystem - Episode 36 - Self worth Series: Why it's so hard to feel 'enough'

Well Sh*t. It really is that simple - Episode 121 - "How trying to maintain an image can compromise your needs" is now LIVE! Full Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide Often the image we seek to portray, and that we see of others, is one that is curated to elicit acceptance, notoriety, advancement and endless other things (ie. attempting to get needs met). If the image being presented isn't a true reflection of who we are, it is likely compromising our needs more than it's meeting them. Join us as we talk about our own journeys with image and the affect an image can have on not only our needs but our humanity as well. Trigger warning: We discuss a phrase that we have since found to have a problematic history regarding racism. Please see the extended trigger warning notes below for additional information. In this episode we cover: - What is an image? - Why do we try to portray an image? - Who's needs are getting met when you portray an image - The red green spectrum - The significant downsides to portraying an image - The conditioning Serena experienced as a child - How Claire's image was molded - What can happen when your different images collide - What happens to connection and relationship when we create an image - What Serena has discovered about weirdos - Why sometimes the right word is "Fuck" - Rules vs Principles - The role perfection plays - How an image compromises needs - Why we believe something is perfect - The difference between what is "right" and what is best - How perfectionism affected Claire's image - What needs are present when we create an image - How do we shift this? - The difference between fitting in and belonging - Life's conveyer belt - What happens when you get rid of the image - How meeting her needs has taught Serena to "own it" - The term we will no longer be using - How an image can sacrifice our humanity - When portraying an image is OK Trigger Warning: We have found the term referenced in our podcast to be problematic as at one time it was utilized in reference to black people. Although the origin of the term, and some of it's subsequent associations are not harmful on their own, we believe it's usage could be harmful to others and will actively try to utilize other terminology. We go into this further in the short add on at the end of this episode. Episode References: The episode we talk about what happened when all of Claire's images had to be together in one room - Episode 23 - How to get over perfectionism The episode where we talk about the Red-Green Spectrum - Episode 3 - I need to do WHAT? The episode where we talk about being perfectly imperfect - Episode 23 - How to get over perfectionism Our last episode - Episode 120 - When things don't go to plan mini-series - "Creating" The "C" word - Episode 19 - The C-word

In part two of our "When things don't go as planned" mini series, we move from coping to creating. In this episode we share the question that has made a huge difference in both of our lives, especially when it comes to coping. Tune in to find out how we utilize this question to help create the best possible outcomes given unexpected circumstances and how it helps us to do so quicker, more effectively and with less challenges. In this episode we cover: - The one question that can change everything - Focusing on the issue vs. the outcome - How this has changed the outcomes Serena has experienced - Honey vs vinegar approaches and their effectiveness - Why many situations escalate - How "crumbling" can actually be a form of attack - The relationship between reacting and control - The best way to have "power" in a situation - Short term vs. long term goals - How consistency can create choice - What's possible within where you're currently at - Determining the most important outcome - How to put yourself back in the driver seat - Why and how people make situations harder for themselves to cope with Our last episode where we talk about what needs are being impacted and what we need to do to meet those needs is Episode 119: When things don't go to plan mini-series - "How to cope when things don't go to plan"

Life has a way of life-ing and adulting isn't always easy. In the first part of our "When things don't go as planned" mini series, we will be talking about coping with life's curve balls and how to do so in a way that can actually benefit you in the process. In this episode we cover: - What has left Serena speechless - Why we have stopped annual planning - How we avoid setting ourselves up for frustration and disappointment - How the sudden changing of plans can impact you beyond just inconvenience - What we have discovered about coping - Needs whack-a-mole - How consistency helps us to cope - The difference between repression/masking and coping - Serena's coping process - Examples of ways we cope - How we make coping harder for ourselves - The choice we have when coping - Coping within the coping process - The importance of finding time and space - The minute that has changed the coping process for Serena - What is a reaction? Our last episode where we talk about releasing the pressure is Episode 118 - I feel like I want to be angry but I don't know why The episode in which we talk about the star trek shields and the med packs is Episode 28 - An antidote to anxiety

It's our first Needs Nugget episode and Serena's feeling a little "punchy". We stopped mid conversation to hit record and bring you in on our conversation. Tune in to find out what is happening when an emotion is present and you don't know why or you think you should feel a certain way and don't and what questions you can ask yourself to find out the answer. In this episode we cover: - What are Needs Nuggets episodes? - How Serena's current situation is making her feel - The actual meaning and origin of the term "Karen" - How Serena's mental and emotional feelings differ from her physical - The question that helps to figure out the why - What happens when we get angry - The importance of somatic processing - Serena's Well Shit moment - The relationship between anger and our Personal Power Need - The quick hit - How conditioning can drive us to emotions like anger - The impact anger has on your Value Need - Why old patterns and habits come up - What questions you can ask yourself - How being "punchy" can lead to subsequently punching yourself

We're back…ish. To say life doesn't always go as planned is an understatement. Tune in to find out where we're at, where we're going and what's in store for the future.  Why we're back…ish Where is Serena?  Why planning is currently challenging  How we're making it work Needs Nugget episodes  The content keeps coming  Staying connected and bringing you on our journey Serena trying to stay out of rabbit holes  Update on the Signature Self-Study program What do you want to hear? What most helpful for you in your life?  We'll find out what this looks like together

Today we are sharing a BIG decision we've made, as well as filling you in on a huge project that we currently have underway... Full Episode Guide: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide

Well Sh*t. It really is that simple - Episode 116 - Quick tips for building your capacityFull Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuideWell shit. It's no surprise that we like things that are quick, easy and simple. In this episode we share some of our favorite ways to build capacity in the tap root of our Universal Needs Tree. Tune in to find out how you can help build your own capacity from the ground up and begin taking the steps to getting where you want to be.In this episode, we cover… The need at the source of our capacity What is the "Well Shit" program The different types of rest Serena's mystical nagging The importance of the routine Finding out what works for you How to make things into no brainers The importance of peeing How to build capacity to get your to your "goal" The starting power of a wiggle Why you're not lazy Claire's approach to making nutrition easier Sometimes a waffle just isn't doing it How to feel more nourished and supported

Have you ever been told you are intimidating? We find people who use this language don't often actually mean what they are saying. Join us in this episode as we find out what they really mean and discuss why this happens, what needs are at play and how we can begin to remove this dynamic from our lives. In this episode, we cover… What hasn't changed in the new year The difference between are you being intimidating or are they intimidated? Why this is such an issue in our society What the labels bitch and bossy can really mean Claire's intimidation on the dance floor What is AOL? Where the responsibility lies Serena's "fun" size The illusion of intimidating The two needs usually at play What plays a significant role into these dynamics What happens with power hungry people Claire's first with Miss Piggy Where the feeling of intimidated comes from The different ways intimidated can come through How to know when is it a You thing or a Them thing How to remove pedestals How we can avoid making ourselves smaller Episode references: The Imposter Syndrome episode- Episode 114 - How to deal with Imposter Syndrome The sorry not sorry episode- Episode 66 - People Pleasing Series - Sorry Not Sorry

Have you ever found yourself feeling not enough, not deserving doubting your abilities and worried that it's a matter of time before people figure you out? Well, you're not alone and you're likely suffering from imposter syndrome. The good news is, theres a way to get that imposter out of your life for good. Tune in to find out how... In this episode, we cover… The effect this can have on entrepreneurship What we do to help us process emotionally The relationship between imposter syndrome and systemic imbalance The root of imposter syndrome The difference between "knowing it" and "KNOWING IT" What "just let it go" actually means The illusion of value Our experiences with our own imposter syndrome How your inexperience with something can actually bring more value to your role What is a "Pinterest Mom" The places in our lives imposter syndrome shows up The best ways to meet our Value Need How to counteract a triggered Value Need Episode references: Our last episode- Episode 113 - Are you struggling with things that you 'have to', 'need to' or 'should' do?

Well Sh*t. It really is that simple - Episode 113 - Are you struggling with things that you 'have to', 'need to' or 'should' do? is now LIVE! Full Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide The new year often brings in a whole list of things we find our self thinking we have to, need to or should be doing. The weight of these words can make the whole process of what we are doing more undesirable and difficult. In today's episode we dive into how changing your language around the things we "have to", "need to" or "should" do, can change so much more than just the way we speak. In this episode, we cover… So many celebrations Introduction to our newest podcast member The impact of the language "have to", "need to" and should Would you rather be too hot or too cold? Claire's love-hate relationship with exercise and how she has made it more enjoyable Why the inner critic is not an asshole The impact of the language "get to", "want to" and "choose to" The importance of listening to yourself, body and being How changing your language can change how things feel The snowball effect when you enact your Personal Power Why this is not the "Shapes Episode" that we had intended on recording How choice makes things easier and changes the energy around what you're doing The problem with "but" The antidote to control The importance of choosing in the context of needs What's your why? How the Needs Lens helps you to make better choices Episode references: New Years episode- Episode 58 - Our Wholeness Holiday Series: How to start the year filled up Toxic positivity episode- Episode 39 - Just HOW toxic is Toxic Positivity? Control episode- Episode 24 - How the need to have control is controlling you Needs Formula episode- Episode 70 - Burning the candle at both ends series: The Needs Formula

Well Sh*t. It really is that simple - Episode 112 - Podcast Pause: We're Walking Our Talk is now LIVE!Full Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuideAfter a very challenging end to 2023, we have decided to take a small Podcast Pause in order to walk our talk and rebuild our capacity. But rather than leaving you with no episode, today we have a short episode with some episode recommendations for you, depending on where you're at right now.In this episode, we cover… Why we're doing thing a little different at the beginning of 2024 What are the Sprinkles on this episode's sundae? How to use the episode guide to find the episodes that are right for where you're at right now (link to the episode guide here: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide) Some of the episodes and series that might resonate with where you're at right now, including: If you're waiting for an apology you're probably never going to get If you need to make an apology and want to do it in a way that will give the best chance of healing the relationship If you have compromised your boundaries, how to begin to address that If you're dealing with anxiety and want to know how to best support yourself with it If you're feeling the pressure of the New Year and want to know how to ease that feeling If you're burnt out or at risk of burning out how to best support yourself What to do if you're really struggling right now If you aren't currently living in a Selfirst way, how you can begin doing so If you're struggling with self worth at the moment If you're struggling with capacity and want to know how to navigate life while honoring your capacity If you want to know how to increase your capacity If you're struggling with any of your relationships right now If you're experiencing grief right now and want to know how to support yourself with it If you're dealing with conflict, and want to know how to deal with it best If you're dealing with the consequences of trauma, and want to understand it better and how to begin healing from it If you want to know how to build your resilience If you're dealing with guilt or shame and want to know how to navigate through and heal from it If you want to support others and would like to find out how to do that without compromising yourself How things are the wrong way around today! If there isn't an episode for what you're going through right now, an invitation to reach out to us and make an episode request And lastly an invitation for you to take a pause and a rest if that's what would best support you and your needs right now See you soon! x

Well Sh*t. It really is that simple - Episode 111 - It's OK to change behaviors if they no longer meet your needs is now LIVE!Full Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuideHappy New Year!!! This time of year we are usually being bombarded by messages of "New year, new you", "Fresh Start", "Make this your year", etc., and although this episode isn't necessarily about the new year, it is a great time to check in and see if what you're doing is actually working for you. So often we get ourselves into the pattern of doing things and because they become pattern, rarely do we check in to see whether these things are still working for and serving us. Join us as we discuss the challenges behind changing our behavior, the internal pressures we face, finding out what works for you...or what doesn't and how to begin to make the changes needed for you to do things in alignment with yourself and where you are currently at in the moment. This year we are leaving new year, new you behind and making new year, new choices our focus. In this episode, we cover… Taking the pressure of the new year The excess of the "holiday season" and how that meets and compromises our needs in the new year The vicious cycle of denial and excess we find ourselves in Checking in with your patterns How what is draining your needs, no longer meets your needs and therefore is no longer relevant How doing "Your Thing" doesn't always serve you The questions to ask yourself to find where your at The challenges behind changing your behavior when other people are involved Our experience as recovering Rescuers How to make the changes needed to meet your needs Where our own self expectations can get in the way of having our needs met How we get into the pattern of compromising ourselves How consistency for the sake of consistency often does not meet our needs in the long term What your hesitation likely means and why its valid FOMO and JOMO What is the sober bitch and why does it meet our needs? Creating options The ripple effect of small changes Last year's New Years episode- Episode 58 - Our Wholeness Holiday Series: How to start the year filled up The episode about what's draining your needs- Well Sh*t. It really is that simple - Episode 108 - Why am I so depleted series: What drains your needs Episode references:

Well Sh*t. It really is that simple - Episode 110 - When it doesn't compromise your needs, if you support the needs of others, you'll get a boost too is now LIVE! Full Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide Merry Christmas, Happy Monday or Happy Whatever day it is when you're listening! Today we aren't talking about the joy of the season but the joy in helping others to support their needs. Especially this time of year, many of us find ourselves giving and exchanging not only things, but the meeting of needs as well. Join us as we discuss the ripple effect that simple acts of resourced support can have on individuals, ourselves and the community as a whole. In this episode, we cover… How Serena's cup of coffee inspired this episode How it's possible to help people in supporting their needs without causing negative impact to yourself and how good that can feel Claire's killer barista skills and how they helped to support Serena How it supports us to support the needs of others in the community (from a Selfirst place) The ripple effect of support that can be created from one simple act The importance of remembering the interconnectedness of people The benefit to us when we support someone else's needs How this relates to The Universal Needs Ecosystem When it doesn't cost us anything, where's the downside? The difference between I can help/I want to help/I get to help and I should help Things you can do to offer, contribute and help support the needs of the person and how that helps to create community The feeling of fulfillment Episode references: The episode we talk about The Universal Needs Ecosystem- Episode 36 - Self worth Series: Why it's so hard to feel 'enough'