Podcasts about torben rolfsen

In his extended version of The Rolfsen Report: The Comedy of Sport, Vancouver comedian Torben Rolfsen noted the uncertain status of Green Bay Packers QB Aaron Rodgers: "Aaron Rodgers wants a new contract from Green Bay. He might be able to keep losing NFC Championship Games into his early 40s." He also suggested that "rumour has it that the Jets are trying to swap picks with Jacksonville. They're offering Sam Darnold and Staten Island." And also: “NBA: the Brooklyn Nets have been one of the big early-season stories. I knew Kyrie would be back. He would go to the ends of the Earth to play basketball." @vanguy

Vancouver comedian Torben Rolfsen used his extended edition of The Rolfsen Report: The Comedy of Sport on The Sport Market on TSN Radio to invoke the Hand of God: "The English Premier League is telling its players not to shake hands before a match. There's a product branding idea for Diego Maradona: Hand of God Sanitizer." Also: "Would playing sports in empty venues in Florida be redundant?“ Just ask fans of the Miami Marlins and Tampa Bay Rays!

In his extended edition of The Rolfsen Report: The Comedy of Sport on The Sport Market on TSN Radio, Vancouver comedian Torben Rolfsen was on fire: "The Maple Leafs wreck last Saturday night was so bad they were featured on Heavy Rescue 401." And: "If the Zamboni driver had gotten injured, next in goal for the Canes would have been Drake.“

In his extended edition of The Rolfsen Report: The Comedy of Sport on The Sport Market on TSN Radio, Vancouver comedian Torben Rolfsen was all over Major League Baseball: "Rob Manfred called the World Series champ Commissioner's Trophy a piece of metal. When I hear baseball and piece of metal, I think Enter Sandman." Also: "Some MLB players say the Astros will be in a lot of line brawls this season. Just think: relief pitchers will be in their best shape ever after jogging in from the bullpens all spring.

Vancouver comedian Torben Rolfsen was all over Boston Bruin superpest Brad Marchand in his extended edition of The Rolfsen Report: The Comedy of Sport on The Sport Market on TSN Radio. His take on the Oscars: “Biggest win by a parasite since Brad Marchand’s Stanley Cup.”

In his extended edition of The Rolfsen Report: The Comedy of Sport on The Sport Market on TSN Radio, Vancouver comedian Torben Rolfsen questioned a certain global status. On the Kansas City Chiefs Super Bowl title "World Champions?!? What about the Winnipeg Blue Bombers? Let's settle this next Sunday on Baffin Island.” Also: "The halftime show made Moulin Rouge look like a Metallica concert. I was hoping CTV would just air a few Tragically Hip videos instead. Sometimes you don't want the U.S. feed."

In his extended edition of The Rolfsen Report: The Comedy of Sport on The Sport Market on TSN Radio, Vancouver comedian Torben Rolfsen invoked his inner Bill Murray when breaking down the first-ever Super Bowl matchup between the San Francisco 49ers and the eventual champion Kansas City Chiefs.

In his extended edition of The Rolfsen Report on The Sport Market on TSN Radio, Vancouver comedian Torben Rolfsen checked in with this take on the National Baseball Hall of Fame: "The hunt is on to find the person who didn't vote for Derek Jeter. He's been tracked to Florida and his nickname is Hanging Chad." Also: "Gritty in legal trouble! But the Phillie Phanatic has helped him make bail." And: "The 2020 NFL Draft in Las Vegas will see players ferried by boat to the red carpet stage built in the Bellagio fountain. That's great - the Detroit Lions war room can be decorated in a Titanic theme."

"Alberta was under severe weather with wind chills in the -45 to -50 range, prompting the government to issue a warning not to go outside to the elderly, babies, and Matthew Tkachuk." - Vancouver comedian Torben Rolfsen on The Rolfsen Report: The Comedy of Sport on The Sport Market on TSN Radio

On his extended edition of The Rolfsen Report: The Comedy of Sport on The Sport Market on TSN Radio, Vancouver comedian Torben Rolfsen saw the upside in the first round loss by the defending Super Bowl champions: "Good thing about the Patriots early playoff exit is Bill Belichick will be available to entertain at children's birthday parties."

Each of the 30 MLB teams will have its own Star Wars Night next season. They're just trying to figure out where on the stormtroopers outfits the Nike swoosh will go." Vancouver comedian Torben Rolfsen, on The Rolfsen Report: The Comedy of Sport on The Sport Market on TSN Radio.

In his extended edition of The Rolfsen Report: The Comedy of Sport on The Sport Market on TSN Radio, Vancouver comedian Torben Rolfsen went high altitude: "Great win for Deshaun Watson and the Texans over the Patriots. I think astronauts train for lack of oxygen by attending Bill Belichick post-game pressers."

In his extended edition of The Rolfsen Report: The Comedy of Sport on The Sport Market on TSN Radio, Vancouver comedian Torben Rolfsen called a foul on the tallest of the Philadelphia Sixers: “The Sixers Joel Embiid was held scoreless on 0-11 shooting by the Raptors. Which means his greatest moment in Scotiabank Arena is still being a background extra in an iconic photograph." And also: "The Clippers Patrick Beverley became the first player to get fined for flopping since 2016. He lost $5000, but will have his name engraved on the Manu Ginobili Trophy."

In his extended edition of The Rolfsen Report: The Comedy of Sport on The Sport Market on TSN Radio, Vancouver comedian Torben Rolfsen took dead aim: "Winnipeg's the only CFL team with a championship drought longer than Baltimore’s.”

In his extended edition of The Rolfsen Report: The Comedy of Sport on The Sport Market on TSN Radio, Vancouver comedian Torben Rolfsen talked Colin Kaepernick and Mike Trout: "Mike Trout won his 3rd AL MVP, narrowly edging Houston's Alex Bregman. The Astros knew ahead of time, cause they Watergated the Baseball Writer's Association of America offices."

In his extended edition of The Rolfsen Report: The Comedy of Sport on The Sport Market on TSN Radio, Vancouver comedian Torben Rolfsen had a case of black cat fever: “That black cat from the Cowboys-Giants game is still missing. I'd be more worried if it was Halloween week. Jim Carrey called his agent to see if they could reboot the Ace Ventura franchise. Also: "A good SNL sketch would be Bill Belichick interacting with little kids as a mall Santa.” Now that would be a Bad Santa!

In his extended edition of The Rolfsen Report: The Comedy of Sport on The Sport Market on TSN Radio, Vancouver comedian Torben Rolfsen had both a trick and a treat on the NBA basketball front: "The Golden State Warriors had a rough Halloween. They went as the New York Knicks." And also: "LeBron James says when he's not playing he watches every NBA game live simultaneously. Which means he's either the Architect from The Matrix,or he's at Caesar's Palace in Vegas."

In his extended edition of The Rolfsen Report: The Comedy of Sport on The Sport Market on TSN Radio, Vancouver comedian Torben Rolfsen zeroed in on the economics of football: "Urban Meyer clearly stated he's interested in coaching the Dallas Cowboys. How would he deal with the lower roster payroll?"

In his extended edition of The Rolfsen Report: The Comedy of Sport on The Sport Market on TSN Radio, Vancouver comedian Torben Rolfsen takes aim at the Blues for their White House visit, and the Kings for their Taylor Swift antics.

In his extended edition of The Rolfsen Report: The Comedy of Sport on The Sport Market on TSN Radio, Vancouver comedian Torben Rolfsen takes aim at the NBA for its rollercoaster week on the China issue.

Vancouver comedian Torben Rolfsen delivered the Comedy of Sport on The Sport Market on the TSN Radio Network, including the joke: "At halftime (of KC-Detroit), they showed the top 4 moments in Lions history. I love black and white newsreel footage." Listen for more laughs!

In his extended version of The Rolfsen Report: The Comedy of Sport on The Sport Market on TSN Radio, Vancouver comedian Torben Rolfsen is already thinking February: "Jennifer Lopez and Shakira will perform at halftime of the Super Bowl. 1996 called - they love the lineup."

Torben Rolfsen delivers a lighter side take on the business of sport on The Rolfsen Report on The Sport Market on TSN Radio: "BYU hosted USC in Provo and beat them in overtime. Good shirt spotted in the crowd: HOLD MY ROOT BEER."

Vancouver comedian Torben Rolfsen welcomes in the new NFL season with not one, but two extended editions of The Rolfsen Report on The Sport Market on TSN Radio.

In his extended version of The Rolfsen Report: The Comedy of Sport on The Sport Market on TSN Radio, Torben Rolfsen suggested that “Winter is Coming” in a big way for a certain Edmonton Oiler: "Jesse Pulijujarvi signed a one-year contract to play this upcoming season in Finland, saying he appreciated the bleakness of Edmonton, but wanted more harsh winters." Also: "The Miami Hurricanes starting running back is named DJ Dallas, which is appropriate, since they've been more of a rave than a football program the last couple decades."

In his extended version of The Rolfsen Report: The Comedy of Sport on The Sport Market on TSN Radio, Vancouver comedian Torben Rolfsen literally put the NFL pre-season game in Winnipeg “On Ice”: “There were holes in the end zones - and Bombers fans wallets…The problem was caused by moving the goalposts, which is weird, cause Goodell and his cronies have lots of experience doing that…80-yard field...surprised they didn't break the rouge record."

In his extended edition of The Rolfsen Report: The Comedy of Sport on The Sport Market on TSN Radio, Vancouver comedian Torben Rolfsen goes into the Octagon with “Nate Diaz: Was that a UFC 241 open workout or a Woodstock 50th Anniversary celebration?” Also: "Former Steelers QB Landry Jones has become the first player with a contract for the new XFL. Maybe hold up his mock-up jersey, on the back it reads 'They Sign Me'."

In his extended version of The Rolfsen Report: The Comedy of Sport on The Sport Market on TSN Radio, Vancouver comedian Torben Rolfsen hits a trey with: "For the second time in their history, the Toronto Raptors will play on Christmas Day. Replacing the New York Knicks, who will play on April Fool's Day." And on the upcoming FIBA World Cup of Basketball, "Canada has lost so many players heading to this month's basketball World Cup in China, it's like Hawkeye leading the next Avengers movie."

On the Tour de France that wrapped up last month, Vancouver comedian Torben Rolfsen threw a sharp shot at cycling’s former king: "No one will ever match the record of Lance Armstrong's seven consecutive stripped titles." In his extended version of The Rolfsen Report: The Comedy of Sport on The Sport Market on TSN Radio, Torben was also less than impressed on the Blue Jays’ trades last week: "Was Vancouver Canucks GM Jim Benning consulting on the Blue Jays trades this week? Stroman, Sanchez...less returns than my AOL stock." And finally: "Red Sox pitcher Rick Porcello punched out two TV screens in the dugout Wednesday night. Must have been watching the Democratic debate."

Vancouver comedian Torben Rolfsen couldn’t help but break the sole on the new shoe deal for the NBA’s number one draft pick: “Zion Williamson has signed the largest shoe deal for a rookie in NBA history. Oddly, it was with Crocs.” And on the losing streaks on the west coast: “The roof is open at BC Place in Vancouver, and so is the Whitecaps goal." And finally: "Which remake has been worse: The Lion King, or the BC Lions?" On both fronts, there’s only one way but up in Vancouver!

In his extended edition of The Rolfsen Report: The Comedy of Sport on The Sport Market on TSN Radio, Vancouver comedian Torben Rolfsen dismisses critics of 23-time Grand Slam singles champion Serena Williams.

In his extended edition of The Rolfsen Report: The Comedy of Sport on The Sport Market on TSN Radio, Vancouver comedian Torben Rolfsen was all over the New York Knicks: “The Vegas summer league saw a massive dunk by Zion Williamson after he stole the ball from the Knicks Kevin Knox. He took it away from him faster than James Dolan takes away fans' season tickets." Also: “A 7.1 earthquake hit Vegas during a Knicks game. It was so crazy, the scoreboard temporarily showed the Knicks leading." Listen for more here.

In his extended version of The Rolfsen Report: The Comedy of Sport on The Sport Market on TSN Radio, Vancouver comedian Torben Rolfsen was all over the 12-run first inning in the MLB opener in London: "Ironically, the first Yankees-Red Sox game in England took longer than a cricket match." Also: "The Sox should have let the Loch Ness Monster mascot pitch the ninth." And finally: "The Freeze lost his race in London. No kidding - it was thirty degrees."

In his extended version of The Rolfsen Report: The Comedy of Sport on The Sport Market on TSN Radio, Vancouver comedian Torben Rolfsen reflected on the booing at Rogers Arena for the 2019 NHL Draft: "The Gary Bettman booing at Rogers Arena was the most intense I have ever heard. Louder than if Trump had been a presenter at the NBA Awards." He also weighed in on the “international” draft of the Detroit Red Wings: "The Red Wings made eleven draft picks. Zero Canadians. Does that make Steve Yzerman a self-loathing hoser?" And finally: "And now free agency is upon us. Some of these teams have less cap space than Barry Bonds."

ICYMI, in his NBA Finals edition of The Rolfsen Report: The Comedy of Sport on The Sport Market on TSN Radio two weeks ago, Vancouver comedian Torben Rolfsen became a tea marketer: "One Bay Area coffee house was selling a drink called Steph Curry Tea. Would be more appropriate if they named a tea after Draymond Green." And talking about tea parties: "Boston's title drought continues: now at four months..."

In his extended edition of The Rolfsen Report: The Comedy of Sport on The Sport Market on TSN Radio, Vancouver comedian Torben Rolfsen gives propos to Fred VanVleet – the only player to get an MVP vote in this year’s NBA Finals other than championship teammate Kawhi Leonard: "Fred VanVleet: G-League champion and NBA champion. LeBron never did that." And on the Tampa Bay Rays future plans: "Rays will play 40 home games in St. Pete, 30 in Montreal, 5 in Vancouver, 3 in Quebec City, 2 in Trail and 1 in Tuktoyaktuk."

In his extended edition of The Rolfsen Report: The Comedy of Sport on The Sport Market on TSN Radio, Vancouver comedian Torben Rolfsen can’t help but address the Drake factor during this impressive run by the Toronto Raptors in the NBA playoffs: “Drake has spent more time on the court than Jeremy Lin.” Also: "Loved the riderless horse in The Preakness. A metaphor for America in 2019."

In his extended edition of The Rolfsen Report: The Comedy of Sport on The Sport Market on TSN Radio, Vancouver comedian Torben Rolfsen is all over the NBA's eastern conference final: Forget about multi-million dollar penthouse condos, "Kawhi Leonard will never have to pay for poutine in Toronto ever again." And also: "The Klaw versus The Greek Freak. Think I had that comic book once." And finally on Zion Williamson: "I haven't seen anyone not want to go to New Orleans so badly since George W. Bush after Hurricane Katrina."

In his extended edition of The Rolfsen Report: The Comedy of Sport on The Sport Market on TSN Radio, Vancouver comedian Torben Rolfsen was not impressed by the inconsistency of shooting by everyone on the Toronto Raptors except Kawhi Leonard: "Up and down series for the Raptors. The way they shot in the losses, if they'd been throwing comets at the Earth, the dinosaurs wouldn't have gone extinct." Also: "No one knows where Kyrie Irving will play next season, but he plans on finding a spot by travelling to all four corners of the globe."

In this week’s extended edition of The Rolfsen Report: The Comedy of Sport on The Sport Market on TSN Radio, Vancouver comedian Torben Rolfsen can’t resist but reflect on James Harden: "The Kentucky Derby is known as the greatest two minutes in sport. Other than James Harden walking past a mirror." And: "Harden's outfit at the post-game 1 presser looked like it was quilted together from old oven mitts."

In his extended version of The Rolfsen Report: The Comedy of Sport on The Sport Market on TSN Radio, Vancouver comedian Torben Rolfsen can’t help but ride the Tampa Bay Lightning and Calgary Flames, two highly-touted NHL contenders this year who are now golfing. Rolfsen: "People criticize Jason Kenney, but he does hold leads better than the Flames." and "The only thing more redacted than the Mueller Report this spring was Tampa Bay's season."

In his extended edition of The Rolfsen Report: The Comedy of Sport on The Sport Market on TSN Radio this week, Vancouver comedian Torben Rolfsen gave a shoutout to the surprising Seattle Mariners: "The Mariners are on an Ichi-roll. Seattle sports hasn't had anything this surprising since Pete Carroll's playcalling." Also: "Not wasting anytime, three NHL coaches were fired on the last Sunday of the season. Team mascots were firing pink slips out of t-shirt cannons." And on an historic Masters weekend: "Masters week: the hallowed history, the sacred grounds...and Tiger fans yelling 'Get in the hole!' during his second shot on a par 5."

ICYMI, Torben Rolfsen is all over the NHL, NBA and NCAA college basketball, along with the collapse of the Alliance of American Football, on his recent extended editions of The Rolfsen Report: The Comedy of Sport on The Sport Market on TSN Radio.

ICYMI, Torben Rolfsen is all over the NHL, NBA and NCAA college basketball, along with the collapse of the Alliance of American Football, on his recent extended editions of The Rolfsen Report: The Comedy of Sport on The Sport Market on TSN Radio.

In his extended version of The Rolfsen Report: The Comedy of Sport on The Sport Market on TSN Radio, Vancouver comedian Torben Rolfsen asked the big question: "Dennis Shapovalov: best Canadian rap since Bran Van 3000?" Also: "Conor McGregor's gone from title fights to stomping on people's cel phones." and "Coming up next: Russell Westbrook and James Dolan in Monty Python's Argument sketch." Follow Torben on Twitter at @vanguy.

"The Steelers are looking to trade Antonio Brown, but his value the past year has taken a worse hit than cryptocurrencies." That’s one of the lighter side takes on the business of sport last week from Torben Rolfsen, the Vancouver comedian behind The Rolfsen Report on The Sport Market on TSN Radio. Brown was finally traded over the weekend. Also: "Calgary retired Jarome Iginla's jersey on a night slightly marred by the Minnesota Wild defeating the Flames 4-2. Fortunately, afterwards, Iginla's jersey beat up Ryan Suter." and "The day after he signed, Bryce Harper had the Phillies in 1st place in the Grapefruit League."

In his extended version of The Rolfsen Report: The Comedy of Sport on The Sport Market on TSN Radio, Vancouver comedian Torben Rolfsen goes deep on player salary numbers in pro sport: "Which are the stranger numbers: Mark Stone's new contract, or total Oscars: Bohemian Rhapsody 4, The Godfather 3?" He also notes that Chicago Cubs' Kris Bryant has been highly critical of how teams managed their money this winter: "Is he auditioning for a Questrade commercial?" Also: "Johnny Manziel kicked out of the CFL. There goes the Atlantic Schooners expansion draft plan."

"Zion Williamson and Payless both had shoe blowouts in the same week." That was the verdict of Vancouver comedian Torben Rolfsen in his extended edition of The Rolfsen Report: The Comedy of Sport on The Sport Market on TSN Radio over the weekend. The quick follow up: "Zion got hurt 34 seconds into the North Carolina game. What's the cutoff time to get a refund on the $5000 tickets?"

“Why wouldn’t Kyler Murray choose football? There's a new league starting every week." That’s one of the lighter side takes on the business of sport from Torben Rolfsen in his extended version of The Rolfsen Report: The Comedy of Sport on The Sport Market on TSN Radio last week. Also on the baseball market: "Pitchers and catchers have reported. To their agents offices, to find out why they don't have a contract."

In his extended edition of The Rolfsen Report: The Comedy of Sport on The Sport Market on TSN Radio, Vancouver comedian Torben Rolfsen rapped this little ditty: "The Raptors reportedly made a trade offer for Anthony Davis. Drake and one of the suburbs people joke about." Also: "The Pittsburgh TV station that showed a graphic labeling Tom Brady a 'Known Cheater' has fired the employee responsible. Luckily, he was immediately hired by Fox News Channel."